#speed mayo

[yutamayo]

First ever speed-meme

✨✨✨✨✨✨

[swordinhand]

i got so deeply enraptured with trying to figure out which restaurant jobs the dunmeshi cast would have that i forgot to check the speed on the industrial strength floor mixer i was using at MY kitchen job and sprayed mayo everywhere. anyways.

senshi would be the senior sous chef that everyone likes and respects way more than the actual chef. he does menu planning and uses cool local ingredients that put the restaurant on the food scene map. the boss you wish you had. laios is a dishwasher but he REALLY REALLY wants to learn line so he spends a lot of time asking the cooks questions. comes in on his day off to watch senshi do menu planning. friends with all the waitresses even though they think he's kinda weird b/c he's too busy being a freak to back of house crew to bother them. chilchuck is the prep lead. he's the best at precision so his consistency is through the roof and his knife work is perfect. the prep hall is his domain and he's got all these janky ways of making it accessible bc the kitchen wasn't built for halflings. champion of worker's rights and makes sure all the first aid stuff is properly organized.

marcille is the front of house manager who's been working there since she was a teenager. sometimes shitty customers will underestimate her and try to fuck with the waitstaff but she takes no nonsense whatsoever. new hires will think she's got beef with the cooks but their banter is just next level. bffs with senshi. (edit: she's in magic school but also has a fuckass minor in management so she's perpetually trying to bring in her course theories while everyone rolls their eyes and carries on). falin i think works mostly with senshi to procure the uncommon ingredients he wants to use. she's also trained as a bartender so she'll step in occasionally but most of the time she's off talking to suppliers or tending the herb gardens out back.

the mad sorcerer is the head chef and he only works opening shift so no one ever sees him and cannot for the life of them tell what he contributes to the kitchen.

the restaurant is called the dungeon.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

The Arcana Mini-HCs: M6 driving

original discord text below the cut -

Julian: won't start driving until everyone is wearing their seatbelt, and then rolls through three stop signs because he got distracted telling a story. constantly swiveling his head to compensate for the eyepatch

Asra: both hands juggling fidget toys and caffeinated drinks, steering with their knees, somehow never gets in an accident or caught. can drive stick shift using their elbow as they pour mayo on their fries

Nadia: she had to take tests to get her license and never does things halfway. the textbook perfect driver. (until she gets tipsy, shatters three urns, and ends up in a hedge trying to leave her driveway)

Muriel: drives an ancient pickup with the back full of wood. it's too old to have seatbelts or airbags but he already avoids high speed roads and he's such a careful driver it isn't really a problem

Portia: drives exactly 5-10 mph over the speed limit, always has snacks, keeps the windows halfway down regardless of the weather, has a tidy car but won't let you see the filthy center console of shame

Lucio: could he be a good driver if he wanted to? yes. but he also likes to go fast and rules have always been suggestions anyways and what's the point of a horn if you don't use it constantly? wild west

[sixosix]

a/n this fic is written for art @aanobrain hope u enjoy it art!!!! even tho i swear its ooc T__T </333

warnings 1k words, suggestive, gojo appears, reader is a mess

aka, nanami cooking with sleeves rolled up fic.

you were almost convinced you were dreaming.

the sweet smell of good cooking has you salivating and springing upright from the bed without a second to waste. but that’s not right, because if you’re wrapped up in a warm blanket and not in the kitchen, who’s…?

you squint, belatedly perceiving that this is not your bed, and you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

and this is definitely not your door, or your living room, or your kitchen. you don’t even have a roommate; the man slicing radish with precise speed would also definitely not be yours, even though you now wish that was the case.

the creak of the floorboard has him pausing slightly, glancing at you. your gaze gets caught on his high cheekbones, then his sharp stare.

“good morning. i’m—y/n,” you blurt. maybe you could’ve started with, who are you and why am i not in my home?

“nanami,” he says, still staring as you fidget on your spot. much to your relief, he shifts his focus back to the cutting board when you shift uncomfortably.

“there’s miso soup on the table. it’s gotten cold,” nanami says without looking up from his work. “you wake up late.”

“i’m sorry…?”

as he’s mentioned, there’s a bowl on two sides of two chairs.

cautiously, as if nanami would scold you for the slightest wrong movement, you settle in one seat. the chair is cold and uncomfortable; you’re sure your mother has the same table set back home, yet this one looks like it was never touched when bought. never used.

“thank you for the food,” you murmur, mostly to yourself. your voice is drowned out by the knife hitting the cutting board.

the aroma from the miso soup is fresh and stronger than what you’re used to cooking up, but that was because you sometimes forget to turn off the heat before it boils. at first glance, you wouldn’t have assumed nanami would be talented in cooking. you’d think, with his figure, he’s out there posing for magazines and getting hand-fed by maids. but you suppose you were judging from the cover, because nanami has managed to perfect even the tiny details of scent and spice.

your eyes follow as nanami finishes chopping radish, his sleeves loose around his wrist. the way he moves around the kitchen—sliding to the sink, focused solely on what’s in front of him, giving you a proper view of his broad back—makes it look like he’s barely lifting a finger.

“this is good,” you whisper, wanting to get it off your chest without bothering nanami. but he still hears it, acknowledging it with a glance.

you take a sip, humming appreciatively at the taste, and then inhale on the wrong pipe when nanami rolls his sleeves up with his freshly washed hands. they’ve gone a shade darker from the water, which doesn’t help at all—not when it seeps and sticks against his forearms.

you’re coughing uncontrollably. he looks mildly concerned.

“i’m fine, i’m fine!” your face is burning, and you’re unmistakably not fine.

he gives you a glass of water, all while you pointedly stare at your miso soup. the ripples from your choking and slamming on the table feel like they’re poking fun at you.

not long after, nanami comes to the table with a plate of perfectly sliced rolled omelettes. you’ve already finished your miso soup, and you feel guilty that his has gone cold while cooking, but you don’t feel as bad when you take a bite of the food he’s prepared.

you groan reverently. “this is what you eat every morning?” you’re so, so unbelievably jealous.

“no,” nanami says, settling on the seat across yours. the domesticity nearly has you shaking. “i usually pick up breakfast on the way to work.”

but he stayed in to cook for you. you swoon internally.

“mayo,” he says, sliding his plate over to you. his forearms are still on display, and they’re very legit.

“did you assume i wouldn’t have slipped out?” you muse. “bold assumption. i don’t usually stick around long.”

“you were in no condition to ‘slip out’ even if you wanted to,” nanami says simply, eyes flicking up to yours. “and you must be getting the wrong idea. nothing happened.”

“what.”

“i slept on the couch.” there’s a ghost of a smile on his face—it must be from your befuddled expression. “last night, you went up to me. you told me you weren’t drunk, and then you passed out on me. you had no one else with you, so i figured i'd let you rest.”

“ah… ha. did you now?” you feel profoundly unsexy at the moment, especially on behalf of the night before.

“you were persuasive.”

you straighten, sticking your nose out to regain a bit of pride. “i prefer charming.”

“insistent,” nanami corrects, yet he gives you the last roll of omelette.

“thanks for taking care of me,” you say, bowing repeatedly, hoping that’d convey at least half of what you’re feeling. “and for not being creepy.”

“you don’t have to thank me for that,” nanami says dryly.

“oh ho, nanamin!” a new voice enters the conversation. nanami’s jaw ticks. “nanamin, nanamin, you rascal!” how did he get here without either of you noticing?

“gojo-san.” the man with a blindfold and white hair sticking out in all high angles grins wolfishly. “i wasn’t warned you’d be coming over.” nanami faces you, almost apologetically, “excuse me, gojo-san is just here to get something. run, if you need to.”

“sorry?”

“you’re so funny, nanamin. it’s good to catch you off guard, especially for moments like this,” gojo calls out as nanami walks back inside, not bothering to entertain him with a response. gojo then sizes you up. “who’re you?”

“me?” you briefly forgot that you’re still in the same hallway as them. “oh, i’m no one. no one you should worry about. who are you?”

gojo grins. “definitely not nanamin’s one-night stand.”

“i’m not even!” you exclaim, face hot. the guy narrows his eyes suspiciously, checking your face in various angles. and then your disappointingly empty neck. “i swear, i’m not. no hickeys or anything, see? he took care of me when i was blackout drunk, apparently.”

“and he didn’t kick you out as soon as you woke up?”

“...no? would you do that?”

gojo nods, more so to himself. “i see. so it’s already deeper than a one-night stand.”

“what?”

“he wants a piece of whatever you’re baking.”

“...?”

“gojo-san, stop tormenting my guest,” nanami says flatly, tossing a paper bag onto gojo’s face. it doesn’t quite hit him, instead sliding off. “please leave. i don’t need you here.”

“oh-ho,” gojo says mischievously. “i was going to be nice and make sure you’re not lonely coming to work, but it seems there’s already someone doing that to you, huuhh?” nanami doesn’t reply, pointedly setting his heavy gaze on you instead. gojo pouts. “oh, fine. don’t forget protection!”

nanami glances to the side as gojo skips off. he pulls out his phone and presents it to you, his low voice reverberating in your ears in the silence of the halls. “put your number in my phone.”

“um, why?” you ask suspiciously, yet still do as you’re told. nanami seems like the last guy on earth to have malicious intentions anyway. and you do owe him for this. “are you feeding me again?”

“to make up for what could’ve happened that night.”

[clownzfunhouse]

Hrhfffhwheee… continues to go at lighting speed down the road (aiming for a tree)

Marri belongs to @mayo-wap !!

💜🎶🩹❤️‍🩹🩺💉⭐️💜🎶🩹❤️‍🩹🩺💉⭐️ 💜🎶🩹

Tags:

[that-one-xachster]

Megumi x Childhood Bestie!Reader Hcs part two

ok I'm continuing this lmfao

so lets get to the part after go/joe kidnaps itadori

and you're just chilling with megumi in his room questioning all life choices

and he's questioning life itself

"crabs probably think fish can fly"

"...what did you eat today"

"tuna mayo"

"istg if you pull the Inumaki crap-"

"bean bags are boneless sofas"

"wHaT"

"...I want a beanbag."

*audibly sighs*

so yeah very fun

and you have a sleepover with him bc like

why not

and drama

so let's say todays that very special once in a lifetime day that you fall asleep INSTANTLY

and like just boom "I'm tired" you're knocked out

and megumi's just there like "gurl??"

my bro is absolutely done cause you're like taking up most of his bed

and personal space

give the man a break 😔✋

so he tries shoving you a lil to the side

keyword: tries

but you're a stubborn person so you don't budge

also you're gripping the bed for dear life in your sLEEP-

you haven't grown out of it lmao

megumi pulls his iconic face and is just

absolutely done at this point

so-

he's known you since childhood anyway right

and you're asleep right

right

so you won't mind if he just plops on top of you and cuddle-spoons you while your sleeping to create space right 😊

just to create space

you don't mind even when you're awake but megumi doesn't know that-

so yes he lies on top of you- wraps an arm around your waist- and spoons you while he falls asleep-

im giggling squealing kicking my feet writing this don't mind me

so yes he's still spooning you while you're asleep-

and in the morning he wakes up first ehe-

bc sleep = none or sleep = all

"all's well thats well for me"

iykyk

but you're still sleeping

and its like 7:30 am

its too early for this shit

so he just stays in bed cuddling you

and boom half an hour later you wake up

but you pretend to be sleeping heh

why

plot

so you two are technically cuddling rn and then my bro realizes that your awake-

and hes like

"oh good morning"

yeah we're totally gonna gaslight

"good morning to you too"

we're gonna keep up the gaslighting

so you turn around and you're facing megumi and you're like what time is it he's like 8:30 am or sum

so you both get up bleh the boring stuff

AND THIS IS THE MOMENT WHERE ITADORI IS GETTING SHOWN HIS ROOM SO-

YOU SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING

so then megumi walks out of the room but you're still inside cause why not

and then itadori and megumi have some bro talk and you just pop up behind megumi-

itadori sHRIEKS

gojos like 'did u two have a sleepover 😼'

and megumi ofc is like 'why do you care'

and itadori goes-

GASPPP ARE YOU TWO DATING???

the way your faces heat up so fast

FACES

WITH AN S

PLURAL

MEGUMI'S BLUSHING TOO

and hes like 'what the f no i'm not dating this idiot here'

you're like 'i wish 😔'

tHE WAY HE BLUSHES HARDER

no this does not go unnoticed by gojo and he whips out his phone faster than lightning mcqueen and bombards him with pictures

'smile for the camera megumi~'

'boy if you don't shut your skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan Indiana jones overgrown flintstone x and Y chromosome hormone friend zone Sylvester Stallone Sierra loan autozone professionally seen silver patrone head ass up-'

yes I had to

anyway y'all gotta go pick up the other first year aka nobara

and you're like

"OOH OOH GOJO SENSEI BOY OR GIRL"

"hehe you'll see"

so you make all of them speed to wherever the hell yer picking her up

idt I mentioned you slept in the car and your head was on megumis shoulder eheh

itadori kept teasing him and won't let him live it down fr

so yk nobara and her iconic scene

you have no shame

and you drink your respect women juice

im trying to make this gender neutral 😭

you see the uniform and you're cheering her on so much like

"WOO YEAHHH- PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE YOU GO GIRL-"

and shes like tf is this crazy bish doing

but you're just really excited to have another person in the group cause being around the same uh 7-8 people can get boring

so you meet her and you're pretty excited

"be glad boys, you're getting another girl in the group."

now that drops your opinion

so you have a smol idea

to uh

you whisper something in her ear and the wAY HER EXPRESSION DROPS

guess what you said <3 bc ik ofc I wanna see what y'all think

anyhoo so then shes like WHAT THE HELL and drops it

and boom you pull your feminine/masculine/nonbinary wiles and she's now your bestie

and gojo says we're going sOmEwHeRe

and nobara and itadori get so excited

yk the EJWRHTKWJEHTAUIETHR and the hugging gojo

you're standing next to megumi though cause you know whats coming

the way their face drops when y'all go to that messed up school- was it a school?

anyway yuji and nobara go in and you're outside with megumi and gojo

y'all are sitting down nearby

you're tired af with this shit so you just plop your head down in megumi's lap and no questions he just lets you

<3

and hes running his fingers through your HAIRRRRR

*screaming*

so you have some lovey-dovey time and gojo sneaks a picture cause he low-key ships you two

and after the two come out y'all just walk back very nice day

okay moving on from the boring stuff he goes back to his dorm

is developing a crush ehe

so hes just lying in bed thinking like

WHY TF AM I FEELING THIS WAY OVER THAT IDIOT RAHHHH

poor guys conflicted

but good for you hehe

sigh I'm tired ill write a part 3 later lmao

[rathayibacter]

AITA For Messing With My Boyfriend's Hobby?

me (23m) and my boyfriend (26m) just moved in together a few months ago, after being in a relationship for two years. we've had our issues of course, but nothing too serious. last week, however, i forgot our anniversary, and i can tell it really hurt his feelings. i tried talking to him about it, but he said it's fine.

for context, my boyfriend is a ninth-moon swordsman and master of many divine war arts. i dont usually mention this but it's relevant, because for the last three days he's been using his supernatural speed and mastery of the blade to passive-aggressively mess with my things. for example, yesterday i made myself a sandwich, and right before i bit into it he cut the mustard and mayo off the bread in a fraction of an instant, so when i bit down it was completely dry. i know it's him, too, because he was sitting across the room watching tv, and i didnt see him move, but his ancestral sword was in a slightly different position afterwards.

so, this morning i got kinda frustrated, and while he was still asleep i took his sword and i hid it in the laundry room, cuz i knew he wouldn't check there. i figured if he couldnt take out his frustrations by playing millisecond pranks on me, we could sit down and talk about this like adults.

now, something i knew, but wasnt thinking about when i did this, is that he still hasnt formed a spiritual connection with his ancestral sword. this means hes unable to communicate with it across great distances, or summon it to his hand with but a gesture. these are skills you usually learn really early on, and im in fact really proud of him for getting as far as he has without them, but now he thinks im mocking him for this and hes locked himself in the bathroom. ive tried apologizing through the door, but he just started chanting a mantra he learned from his dead older brother.

so, AITA?

[camillesblogsposts]

Say yes to me - one

@pinkazelma @lostcasefile @kyleeservopoulos @cursedpixie @ellieinmybed

You were fourteen when you decided you wanted Ellie Williams to be yours. You hadn’t been in Jackson long, neither had she. Your hair was long and always plaited; you had a bit of a reputation for being miss perfect. Ellie incessantly picked on you and rejected your advances for a friendship- this only spurred you on, naive and sweet. You didn’t understand the feelings she gave you from being close but you understood the need for her to be yours.

At eighteen, this dynamic hadn't shifted much.

You were on patrols today- 8am, partnered with Ellie. You had managed to convince Maria to partner you together again despite Ellie's displays of aversion to your presence. This is what motivated you to get out of bed, quickly getting dressed and braiding your hair, dabbing on a bit of berry stain onto your cheeks and lips. You grabbed your backpack and the sandwiches you had prepared the evening before from the fridge in your shared kitchen with Cat. "You're awful peppy for eight am." Her voice was gravely with sleep, wiping her eyes. "Morning! Did you sleep well?" You smiled at her, noticing that she was wearing one of Ellie's old shirts. Your stomach tensed a little. She shook her head, "Na, couldn't stop thinking about today." She grabbed a pint of your home made ice cream from the freezer and a spoon. "You'll be fine, Cat! Your tattoos are amazing." You put your hand onto her arm to comfort her. She shook her head, taking a mouthful. "Not that, bout' you being with El."

"Oh, why?"

"She's gonna be pissy with everyone all day."

You sighed and nodded, still smiling. "Maybe today she'll realise how funny and sweet and amazing I am." Cat didn't respond to this, rolling her eyes and walking back towards her bedroom. You liked living with your friend. But the fact that your friend was also absolutely obsessed with Ellie sort of tainted that fact.

You left, secretly a little hopeful that today would be the day. You said the sentences on repeat in your head- Ellie will be happy to see me today. Ellie will be nice to me today. I'll show Ellie how strong I can be today. Things like that, the normal chants of your routine. When you got to the gate, Ellie was already there on Shimmer. She glanced at you and quickly snapped her head away in dramatics. Your horse, Cupcake, was being petted by Jesse beside her. He smiled at you a little nervously.

"Hey, c'mon, time to get going." He spoke, helping you up onto Cupcake gently. He patted your thigh as if to say good luck. Ellie didn't say a word until you were outside of Jackson's gates. You were to be going to the library and back, generally an easy route.

"This is the last time you're partnered with me." The sound of her voice made your throat clench. She made a point to always be ahead of you, never beside. "I made you food for lunch, egg mayo sandwiches." You tried to ignore her comment, ambitious to change her mind. She didn't say anything in return, having Shimmer speed up a bit. You were glad for the absolute lack of infected along the trail to the library. It was uncomfortably silent, you occupied yourself with daydreams of Ellie, watching as she moved her hands on Shimmer's reigns, how her head turned to look left and right, the way her hair moved in the wind.

"What are you doing later?" Your voice was a little high, obvious to Ellie that you were nervous to speak again. "Can you stay focused for more than five fucking minutes? We have a job to do, we're not hanging out." She didn't look back at you, continuing forwards. You didn't try to speak again until you got to the library, tying the horses reigns to a nearby tree.

"You got a gun?" She asked. You nodded, looking up at her in a way to make yourself look as sweet as possible, a little pouty and wide eyed. She grimaced slightly, looking away. Ellie seemed to struggle with looking at you for more than a few seconds. You held your little pistol timidly, it always felt a bit wrong. If it wasn't for Ellie you would have opted out of patrols completely. You weren't completely incapable but you weren't necessarily skilled. Ellie was a complete natural, weapons seemed to fit her hands like a glove. You always felt most safe with her despite her contempt.

"Do you have.. a plan?" You spoke meekly, Ellie already walking ahead towards the entrance. "If there's infected, we kill them, if not then we log that it was clear, as always." She deadpanned you. You smiled a little, trying to make it so that you were in on the joke.

"Just stay behind me." She said as she opened the door, shining her flashlight into the entranceway. It was clear, seemingly. You entered behind. You scoped out the area briefly and didn't come across anything unusual, Ellie stood over the log book about to write this down. "Did you check in that back room?" You asked, noticing a door somewhat hidden behind a pile of boxes. She shook her head, looking in the direction. "I'll do it." You began walking to the door, she watched.

You opened it gently as to not make noise, immediately noticing a clicker- hunched over in the far end of the room. You could shoot it from here. You aimed your pistol at its head, a brief thought of Ellie telling you that you did a good job popping into your head.

You missed. The bullet hit the wall beside it and it immediately turned, running and lunging for you- you stumbled back, tripping over yourself and falling. Ellie shot it. If she had been a second slower you would have been a goner. Its body fell, slumping over you. You shuffled away, breathing unsteady as you couldn't control your panic. "You killed it," You managed to get out, Ellie grabbing you by the back of your shirt and pulling you up from the ground. "Jesus, how the fuck did you miss that?" Her voice was loud, ringing against your ear. Her face was stern. "M' sorry, I tried, really." You were quiet, stepping from foot to foot nervously, eyes on the floor.

Ellie moved past you into the back room, walking around a corner where you hadn't noticed another doorway. You heard three gunshots in quick succession, then she reappeared to exit the room and seal the door. "Four. Must've wandered in here during a storm." She mumbled mostly to herself as she walked to fill out the log book. You walked to her, a little shaky and unsure. "Are we all done?" You asked, she nodded. "Keep an eye out for any on the way back." She was walking ahead of you again back to the horses.

Her eyebrows were furrowed, lines on her forehead from tension as she got up onto Shimmer. You were still breathing fast, the edges of your vision growing darkened. You felt faint. Sloppily, you tried to get onto Cupcake. You slipped, nearly falling completely over. Without a word Ellie grabbed your waist with both hands, holstering you up onto your horse. It happened within a second or two but your heart pounded. Her hands had been around your waist. You imagined it again, but this time you were bent over, Ellie pulling you back onto her strap. You cringed, embarrassed to be thinking something so perverted right beside her a matter of minutes after she saved your life.

On the way back, you noticed that Ellie had taken a book from the library, the cover poking out from her backpack. You didn't see any more infected and not a word was exchanged between the two of you. When inside Jackson, Ellie stood for a moment to tend to Shimmer. You took your opportunity and snatched the book from her backpack.

Good girl gone bad it was titled, the cover picture depicting two girls. If you squinted they kinda resembled you and Ellie. The thought made you blush. Surely, she hadn't thought that herself. You turned the book over in your hands to read the summary- it was obscene. Your stomach flipped.

Good girl Amanda meets Bad girl Laura, Laura teaches Amanda how to let go of the stresses that come with being a top student by meeting to fuck her to sleep in her dorm room every night. When Amanda catches feelings, will Laura reciprocate them?

You had never seen anything like that before. Sure, you knew what girls did together. You'd listened to Cat and Dina's stories, you'd made jokes, you thought about it constantly but seeing it depicted in such a way felt so much more intimate. Especially considering Ellie had chosen it specifically.

"W-What the fuck," Ellie's voice startled you, she snatched the book from you sharply. You looked up at her with wide eyes, stepping away quickly. Your face felt so hot it could produce steam. "Sorry! I was just curious and I-" You rambled quickly shaking your hands. "What so you could take the piss out of me?" She looked furious, and for the first time clearly you understood that she was embarrassed. She seemed to pull that expression frequently but you could never prior place the emotion.

"What? No, I wouldn't ever make fun of you Ellie." Your voice was gentle. She grimaced and turned on her heel, shoving the book back into her bag and leaving the stables. You followed after her after a moment, she was speaking to Maria, voice loud and thick with irritation.

"She cannot be on patrols again, she's going to get whoever she's partnered with and herself killed."

You lingered outside, listening. She was right. You felt so ashamed.

"All I've been asking is that you make an effort to be kind to her. She wants to be friends with you, she has always wanted that, why is that so hard for you?" Maria spoke, authoritative.

"Because I don't want to be her friend, I cant stand being anywhere fucking near her, it makes my skin itch."

You felt her words hit your chest, harsh and cold.

"Ellie, you're being unreasonable. What does she do wrong?"

"I'm not talking to you about this, I came to talk to you so that you'll take her off patrols." She was quieter. Your vision was blurred.

"Okay, she won't be partnered with you again."

"No, she cant be on fucking patrols at all Maria, she's useless."

Maria didn't respond. You assumed she gave a nod, the type she does when she feels defeated. It's infrequent but solemn. Ellie came storming out before you had a chance to scurry away. You didn't look directly at her, handing out the sandwich you'd made for her.

"What's this?" She asked, voice sharp. "The sandwich I made for you." You tried your hardest to speak in a normal tone. Ellie paused, taking it from your hand after a moment of silence. "Are you... crying?" She lowered her voice slightly. You chocked a little on your words but before you managed to reply she had sort of stiffened up turned and left, sandwich in hand.

Maria came soon after, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You shouldn't let her treat you like this." She said. You shook your head, "It's my fault Maria, I nearly got us both killed, she's right." Maria sighed. Since you were little it had been impossible for others to deter you from going after Ellie. You remembered being younger, fifteen or so, Joel comforting you stiffly as you sobbed because Ellie had shoved you off and swore at you after you had tried to hug her. "Its not you kiddo, it's just hard for her."

You just wanted to make it easier for her.

[star-bear-headcannons]

Stardew Bachelorettes Playing A Stardew-Like Game

Abigail: Makes it her life goal to disappoint Grandpa. Oh, this is how you play the game? Yeah, no. Installs mods that let you drink mayo. Also gets some poly mods so she can date all the bachelorettes.

Emily: It's just a little animal farm with pretty flowers. Can recite the names of all her animals by heart. Becomes the town therapist. By Year 1, she has sorted through everyone's various trauma. Has a sunflower purely for the Haley counterpart. Constantly goes from Pretty Boy~ to Pretty Girl~. Choses Krobus.

Haley: Plays to make the farm pretty. It looks amazing. Doesn't really bother to get close to the villagers, except the Emily counterpart. Thinks her counterpart is a bitch and cannot for the life of her see the similarities.

Haley: Wow, that girl just insulted my outfit! So mean!

Farmer: I-

Leah: Lives her life as a forager. Really good at combat and makes it to the bottom of the mines really quickly. Dates herself. Gets ducks just to give the feathers to Elliot.

Maru: Strawberry, cutesy farm! Aligns her farm to make it really efficient. She has a co-op farm with Sebastian and it is just the clash of the aesthetics. They both speed-run their farms.

Penny: The game is her little escape from reality. Plays it as a nice little farming sim. She gets a little upset when she sees her and Pam's counterparts because she sees the similarities.

[samd1o1]

Crowley's BPD Traits And Why They Are Important;

We all know our beloved ineffable husbands are neurodivergent icons. Despite not being human they both act like neurodivergent humans would (and do).

Today I thought we would take a look specifically at Crowley and his BPD traits and what they mean.

(Also before we start; a trigger warning for talks and mentions of suicide, depression, mood swings, drinking, and trauma).

First what is BPD? BPD stands for Borderline Personality Disorder.

"A mental disorder characterized by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships." -Mayo Clinic

BPD is a disorder caused by trauma. Trauma is of course different for every individual. So while some demons may seem perfectly content with the fall from Heaven, others may have been significantly traumatized. And I believe this is where Crowley falls (pun very intended).

So we covered how Crowley could have developed BPD, but let's talk about their traits.

The DSM-5 lists 9 Criteria for BPD, of which at least 5 are required for diagnosis. We will be covering each one and how (or how they don't) apply to Crowley.

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment:

As we know BPD is caused by trauma, but more specifically it can be trauma that deals with abandonment. Say God casting you down to Hell for simply asking questions?

This can lead to the person with BPD going through frantic efforts to avoid abandonment happening ever again.

We can see this most in Crowley when she argues with Aziraphale. Can you count how many times Crowley tries to run away with Aziraphale so that he doesn't leave him during an argument? It's three. They have done this three times (and that's just the on screen ones, who knows whats happened in 6,000 years!).

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

Now this one is harder to see in Crowley because this trait of BPD (and many others) comes out most in romantic partners. And Crowley has only ever had one apple in his eye, Aziraphale. But even just with their relationship with Aziraphale we can see this.

While Crowley never directs his anger at Aziraphale we can definitely see how much the angel affects him. Their arguments that can lead to them not talking for decades, Crowley literally exploding with lighting because of his anger.

An example I find most interesting is Crowley's entire perception of Aziraphale changing when he sees Aziraphale let the people in the flood die. And this perception is only fixed in the Job minisode when Aziraphale does the right thing again. All it takes is one incident for Crowley to change her mind.

3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

I think this is most obvious in the opening to season 2 where Crowley is questioning the meaning of life and more importantly his role as a demon.

But this isn't the only demon related identity disturbance Crowley faces. A common identity disturbance for those with BPD is believing that they are evil. This is caused by trauma but is also not helped by the stigma Cluster B disorders face.

Crowley believes he must be evil because he is a demon. He lies because he is a demon. Just like someone with BPD may believe they are evil for their disorder or are manipulative because of it. But in reality that may not be the whole truth. You can still be a good person despite being a demon, despite having a disorder.

4. Impulsivity in at least 2 areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).

Do... Do I need to explain this one?

Crowley is an alcoholic. He casually drinks but will also drink anytime a slight inconvenience pops up.

Crowley is also known for going "too fast". He is almost always speeding in the Bentley.

5. Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour.

This is one of the ones that is harder to apply to Crowley simply because she is a demon, not a human. It is much harder for him to kill himself. And while this trait must be recurrent I still think it's important to bring up the Holy Water incident.

Crowley tells Aziraphale the holy water is just for insurance, but Aziraphale knows Crowley better than that and was right to assume it could probably be for a suicide pill. (Even if it did come in handy as insurance later). But the fact Aziraphale assumes that I believe is telling.

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

We see a few different times where Crowley's mood shifts into extremes.

We already discussed the lighting incident. I think another big show of their anger is how he treats his plants in season 1. While yes it is them recreating their trauma with God (Metatron?) and being thrown out of Heaven, that anger comes from somewhere.

Jim short for James, long for Gabriel also sparks this anger in Crowley to the point of threatening his life and telling him to jump out of a window.

Crowley's depression is seen on the biggest spotlight when talking about the fall. Their sentiments about not meaning to fall, that she only ever asked questions.

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.

Unfortunately I can't speak on this one purely because I do not live in Crowley's head. I do not recall it ever being something mentioned or showed. That doesn't mean it can't happen to her of course, but let's stick with the facts.

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

As you can see BPD deals with anger a lot. so I will once again bring up some points we've already made. With the lighting incident, and good old Jimmy-boy.

I also just wanted to mention we know Crowley appears a bit angry at most times as well as Muriel describes him as "the grumpy one". Just thought it was a fun, helpful detail.

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

This one is also a bit hard because again I am not in Crowley's head but also she does in fact have plenty to worry about that is real.

But Crowley does still show paranoid ideation. His distrust of others, disorganized thoughts (talking about ducks and the end of the world at the same time), feeling threatened, thinking he's being spied on (the ducks have ears).

Lots of ducks.

Now some may think diagnosing/headcanoning a character with specific mental illnesses is silly, and maybe it is! But I still believe it's important. Why?

Well for starters; representation is always important. Seeing someone similar to you on screen you can relate to and find joy and comfort in. Or maybe they're just raising awareness. Or just showing that hey, these people exist.

But I also wanted to touch on the stigma of BPD and other Cluster B disorders.

I touched on it briefly in an earlier point but BPD is heavily stigmatized. Many people treat the disorder as evil and manipulative. That the people with it don't deserve love or kindness. Which is of course simply not true.

Most of the characters coded with BPD today are antagonists and/or villains. Think Jinx from Arcane or Spinel from Steven Universe. These characters are amazingly written and performed and I do love them dearly. And there is nothing wrong with them, but it is nice to even the playing field. To have a character with traits of BPD who is fundamentally good and does the right thing. They are a protagonist of their story and even a hero!

And that is why I think Crowley is good representation of BPD (even if it was not intended that way).

And here's hoping to season 3 so our demon (and angel) get a happy ending!

[yutamayo]

Partial speed run of the hour I spent making the akiangel header while on a 3hr bus commute to see my brother ✨

✨✨✨✨✨✨

[veeluvss]

pizza delivery

reader x team (you are jj’s sister)

based of an edit i saw on tiktok but also lonestar ml <3

>1k

"how about we spend our last night together having some fun darling?" johnny snarled, handing me the phone. "order pizza. you're paying. i want a large pepperoni and fries too. don't forget the garlic mayo," she said nonchalantly, taking a seat behind me. i nodded, fumbling with the phone and making sure he couldn't see the screen.

dialling JJ's number, the phone shook violently in my hand. i was risking a lot.  johnny had his gun in my back. i was only ordering pizza. "hey y/n what's up?" jj answered, voice chirpy. "hi," i tried to keep my voice strong. "i'd like to order a pizza for delivery." she laughed down the phone, "a pizza? i think you've dialed the wrong number!" she laughed. i heard emily's voice in the background. then i heard the phone engage to speaker. "i don't think so," i told my sister. emily spoke then. "she sounds scared." i was petrified. "do you still have the cheesy crust?" i mumbled. "the address? sure." i told them the address, praying the team understood - even if JJ didn't.

jj's pov i felt sick to the stomach. morgan looked to me in the back of the car and began speeding off in that direction. i wanted to throw up. my sister. my baby. "y/n are you in danger?" emily asked, her hand resting on my leg. "is someone there making you feel like you can't speak freely?" morgan added. "that's right," she said.

i gulped, shaking my head. i put my head on emily's shoulder. "morgan drive faster god damn it," emily cursed him. "we understand y/n," morgan said. garcia spoke then but i was shaking with fear. "help us on the way." emily leaned over to the phone. "tell me, how many people are in the apartment?" "would a medium pepperoni be big enough for two people?" she muttered back. her voice wavering. i couldn't listen anymore but i had to.

your pov the gun prodded my back and whimpered. "what are you doing?" johnny snarled. "i asked for a large." "there's one other person with you, is that what i'm hearing?" morgan asked. "yes! that's right!" my voice went up, a glimmer of hope. they were coming. "you're doing great," emily praised me and i wanted to cry. why wasn't JJ speaking? where was she? i needed her to come too. "is the person threatening you armed?" i heard rossi ask. they told me to ask for extra pepperoni and my heart was beating harder. this was taking too long - far too long. "is this person known to you?" emily asked. "mhmm," JJ knows johnny. JJ knows how bad he was with me, no one else does. "a family member? a spouse or an ex?" "the last one," i whimpered, feeling the gun press further into my back. "how long are you going to be?" "we're 8 minutes out," derek told me and my heart plummeted. that was too much time. "ask for peppers if there is somewhere safe you can get to..." emily said. "no! definitely no peppers."

jj's pov. tears were streaming steadily down my face at this point. when garcia told us his name, i whimpered and cowered in my seat. i knew i should have done something about him when i had the chance. "two priors of aggravated assault," garcia said. "she had a permanent restraining order against him." "so this is his third strike, he's not going peacefully," morgan threatened. all i could think about was my sweet little sister, sobbing in my arms at his abuse. why didn't i do something sooner?

your pov "what the hell is taking so long?" johnny groaned, cocking the gun. i gulped. "sorry, they're just really bus-" "then call somewhere else!" he shouted, making me cower. "i'm starving!" i took a deep breath, "listen, i might have to cancel this order. my boyfriends getting kind of mad so.." "listen y/n, we'll be there in less than two minutes with swat." morgan told me and i felt some sort of relief. emily begged me to stay on, asking me to try my hardest and i agreed. i was still waiting to hear my sisters voice. that's the only hope i needed. morgan began asking me questions but suddenly the cloth forced itself around my mouth. i couldn't breath. "nice try, bitch." johnny snarled, snatching the phone from my hand. then, sweet saviour, i heard her. "johnny, where's y/n?" "she's right here," he laughed before hitting me. i groaned and cried. "please," i sobbed. "say hi to your friends," he laughed. i needed JJ. where the fuck was JJ.

jj's pov. "listen johnny," emily said, keeping her cool. i froze hearing her groans in pain. i'd heard them far too many times to know she was hurting. if she made noise, she was in unbearable pain and i needed to hold her. "the cops are already on their way. how this ends is up to you." "this only ends one way!" he shouted down the phone and i flinched. my baby sister. emily began explaining to johnny the situation and i felt so sick. suddenly, we pulled up outside. emily carried on talking, pretending not to know so he'd know. "shut up!" he screamed and i flinched everytime. "please, shut up!" he repeated. "what's going on johnny? talk to me," morgan said, getting into place. prentiss told me the plan and i nodded, quickly wiping my tears. "she ruined it!" johnny snarled. that's what dad used to say. "she always ruins it." "nothing is ruined. we can fix this okay?" rossi said and as we took our positions by the apartment. as soon as the trampoline was up, i shook like a leaf, clinging to emily- watching the window like a hawk. "how? how can we fix this?" i heard him say inside. then emily speak on the headset. "my grandmother always used to say, when a door closes, open a window..." she said. i hid my head in her shoulder. "you have to take a leap... of faith." just then, i saw her flash of blonde hair and voices raise. emily scrambled to the air bag as she scurried off it- taking my sister into her arms. "it's okay y/n." she said. "you're safe now." she then stepped aside and i took my baby sister into my arms. she clung to me the way she did when we were children. "i knew you'd understand," she cried into my shoulder. i only held her tighter, feeling relief and love and anger. my god. what a pizza delivery.

[i-have-a-goal]

I had said a few days ago I would be posting my tips on how I lose weight the fastest & how i got it done being in sports that enabled this ♡ so here I go:

Btw- just need to say this quickly- I don't condone this and get help if you are able to ♡ much luv

Okay with that here it is teehee:

☆ Okay so When I was in wrestling, we had to make sure we made weight- no if . If you were 6 lbs over then you had to find a way to lose 6lbs by Saturday. When I was put in this situation, some of the girls would 🤮 of course, but I wasn't a fan of the taste so I def took alternative routes such as

1. Calorie Deficit= DUH. Obv. Duh. For safety reasons I'm going to say 1,400 max (which isn't much In real life lol) but I would eat around 800-1,200 max for this. I wouldn't really say I watch what I eat, but I'm also not just downing pure doritos and mountain due. I'll have chips but I'll also eat fruits.

2. Working out/ cardio= I know.. it's a bummer isn't it? But I'm being 1000% honest with you, calorie deficit combined with hot cardio is the key to losing weight quickly. This is what we all did to make sure we were at the correct weight within 7 days. And it's not walk around the block or sit on the floor and do donkey kicks either... it doesn't have to be extremely intense, but you do want to make sure you're sweating the whole time. ☆ bonus points for putting on 2-3 jackets and pajama pants or hot sweats when u workout!! It does a lot of the job for you. For me, my go to would be using the treadmill (I don't even run girl I have it on level 3 and do this for 30 mins while listening to music and day dreaming about my cute skinny future self- and I still sweat like crazy) I also do the same thing on a indoor bike. Like I said, it doesn't have to be sprints or anything crazy , just something that keeps you moving enough to be hot = sweat. Think of jumping Jacks, planks, butterfly kicks, ladder climbs, etc. Also if you have a jacket with a Hoodie, def tie the hoodie secured so u can sweat more! It works I promise.

3. if you have the time, try to workout whatever you just ate sooner than later. For example, ate an apple? That's 95 cals, nothing a 25 minute walk can't burn off 👍🏻

4. DRINK YOUR WATER. I know everyone says it BUT there's a reason they do okay. Water keeps your lips hydrated and soft. Water will keep your body hydrated, water will help keep you full (to an extent if im going to be honest) if you feel hungry after drinking water, try sucking or chewing on ice- water's cousin ♡ they go hand in hand. Also- I add chia seeds to my water for the fiber and mint leaves with lemon and Cucumber in another ( I have different cups) the mint drink helps with bad breath (from not eating) AND speeds your metabolism = lose weight faster. I also drink green tea for the same benefits + 0 calories so yay ♡

5. FOOD EXAMPLES. Chances are, If you're too focused on how hungry you are and how much it sucks that you can't have fatty foods- you'll break. You won't succeed. So let's make it as beautiful as we can. By that I mean the dishes you make. Some popular dishes we would do within the sport was 6-8 leafs of big crunchy Romaine lettuce with lemon and salt over them. That's around 10-15 calories. Another one was thin slices of tomatoes with salt. Get creative and add seasoning if needed ✨️ if you like spicy food then you're in luck cause adding spice to anything fills u up quicker:-) a good spicy choice I do is steamed garbanzo beans with tapatio. Another good (non spicy) option is steamed artichoke with light Mayo! Get fancy here guys yall can steam so many vegetables and have so many nice looking meals 😊

6. STAY CONSISTENT = I know it's easier said than done, but when you're about to grab that pizza, understand that you're conscious enough to make the decision to not eat it. If your body is fighting with your brain, then you have to trick one of them. Yes, be delulu. Tell yourself it isn't good. Tell yourself the pizza is just another thick slab of grease with artificial cheese over it. Think of how you'll feel once you eat it. Think of the grease lard and calories you're shoving down your throat. Convince yourself it's disgusting. Eventually, you will find it disgusting. And this can work the opposite way as well ✨️ glorify thin slices of fruit. The satisfying way it feels to eat low calorie naturally sweetened fruits from earth. Same with veggies and water and anything 0 calories.

If I have any other advice ( which I'm sure I do I can't just think at the moment!! Smh) then I'll be posting them on this account so follow me for more content but if there's 1 thing to take from all this, it's this:

Self-discipline & self-control

So many of us don't get to our goal weights because of these 2 right here. Find the self control to not eat the food your family brought home. Find the self discipline to carry on your good habits of eating minimal & healthy and gradually make your way to the end goal ✨️

I believe in you all! We got this, one day at a time 💕

[oleander-nin]

Slipped(Yandere! Rise Leo x Reader)

A/N, not important: Hey, I'm so sorry I've been taking such a long time to get fics out. I know it sucks, and I know I suck, but I'm going to try to speed it up once May 8th passes. I have a bunch of tests coming up, so I'm going to be posting maybe once more this week to hold you guys over. Once again, I'm so sorry. Hopefully I can go back to once a week once my life calms down again. Also! I've never had a concussion, so went of memories of a kid getting a concussion when I was in 2nd grade and the Mayo Clinic information. Please tell me if something's inaccurate! Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

Summary: You try to escape, but slip up at the last moment.

Words: 1134

Tw: Kidnapping, concussion, slipping off a ladder(mentioned), Leo being a creep, Leo being Yandere, MC's chained to the wall

‘Tap, tap tap’

My bleary eyes blinked open, a deep fog settling over my brain and seeping into my chest. I could hear something tapping, almost like a countdown to my metaphorical doom. The blurriness around my vision starts to fade, as do the bright white spots speckles around the room. I look around, trying to figure out where the tapping is coming from. A grinning figure sits in front of me, his blurry fingers drilling against the small bedside table next to him. His colored skin and tan plastron paired with the shock his blue mask hinted towards his identity.

Leo.

I let out a groan, my head feeling as if it had a vice squeezing against my brain. Leo’s slightly blurry figure smiles down at me, seemingly completely calm despite the rage burning behind his eyes. I tried to escape. Again. If one thing was for certain, Leo was not going to be pleased. I shifted on the bed, the quiet rattling of the chains echoing around the small room seemed deafening, my feeling as if it would split open at any moment. I tug lightly at the restraints, wincing as the shackles rub against my wrist harshly. With my hands bound behind my back by the chains, I try to relax my shoulders, wanting to ease the dull throbbing in my arms and lower back. I looked around the room lazily, trying to focus on what was going on. I jump a bit when I hear two loud snaps in front of me, Leo having moved from his seat to snap his fingers in front of my eyes. I blink up at him, fear settling in my chest and binding with the fog.

“There you are. Can you hear me?” I watch as Leo’s mouth moves, but the words take a moment to process in my head. Leo’s sweet smile holds an anger I recognized well, and I didn’t like the predatory gleam in his eyes. I shifted on the bed, trying to formulate the words in my mouth to answer Leo, but my tongue felt heavy. My mouth gaped at him a few times before I could get out my words. 

“Your voice is fuzzy.” I say, trying to keep my eyes open. I was proud I could get out the words despite my pounding headache, but a win was a win. Leo looks at me, a small frown on his face. His lips move again, but his voice is way too muddled for me to understand. I watch as Leo sighs before standing up, walking towards me as he mutters something under his breath. I try to scooch back, the cold tin of the subway car wall being pressed against my back. I whimper as he leans down, his hand stopping on the top of my head. 

“Can you look at me?” He asks, his voice softer than earlier. My eyes drift towards his own, but I can barely focus on his face. I furrowed my brows as Leo went in and out of focus. Leo’s hand moves to his phone and his other holds up my face by my chin. I tried to pull back, but his grip was firm. Not painful, but firm. I wince as Leo turns on his phone's flashlight and shines it in my eyes, his face set in concentration. After a few seconds of the torture and my headache worsening with a vengeance, Leo brings his phone back down, rubbing my cheek softly with his thumb.

“You’re so stupid, you know that?” His voice is soft and gentle despite the harsh words, having obviously figured out my headache and not wanting to make it worse. Leo’s eyes scan my face as he sighs, his hand moving to the back of my head and lightly tapping. I feel a sharp pain as my headache worsens from the small touch. I move my head forward, trying to escape his hands, but his hand drifts from the back of my head to the base of the back of my neck. He holds my head firm, not letting me move an inch to look away. “Do you remember what happened?”

I try to think back. I knew I tried to escape, and now I was here, so I assumed the attempt was unsuccessful. It’d be really weird if I was still here after I escaped successfully. But I couldn’t remember what happened, nothing about the actual attempt. I remembered the beginning, when I initially bolted after Leo left the subway cart he called his room to go help one of his brothers with something. He forgot to lock it, so I took my chance. But now I was back in his room, chained to the wall with my wrists behind my back. I couldn’t remember a thing. “Nuh-uh.”

Leo rolls his eyes, a fond twinkle in them as he sits on the bed next to me, pulling me close to him. He forces me to lie on him, my head on his shoulder as my legs drape over his own. “You tried to escape again, love.”

His voice was breathy, soft, full of a quiet fury he was trying to contain. I let out a small hum, the throbbing headache preventing me from doing much more. Leo’s jaw tightens slightly, seemingly not pleased with my non-committal answer. The arm around my shoulders pulls me even closer to his body as the hand on my knee gently squeezes. “You have a concussion, by the way, and I didn’t even cause it. It was all you, babe.”

Leo looks down at me with a devilish grin, seemingly pleased about my injury. “Not even ten minutes without me, and you already got hurt. You are just nothing without me, huh.” Leo lets out a huff of air, his chest vibrating against my arm as he laughs. “I still can’t believe you slipped off the ladder to the topside. I really thought you’d get away for a minute there, but you just continue to prove how necessary it is you stay with me. This is for your own good, so stop trying to fight it.”

Leo shifts me off of him, helping me steady so I don’t ragdoll onto the bed. He checked the shackles on my wrists, giving me a soft kiss on the forehead before standing up with a cruel smile. “I’m off to go get some ibuprofen for your headache, then Don and I are going to give you a small brainscan, just to check everything over. Don’t move, I’m being nice by helping you out instead of leaving you to face the natural consequences of your actions.”

And with that, he leaves, the door clicking shut and having only my tears and throbbing skull to comfort me.

[vampypurplequ33n]

I just imagined the Sides playing Stardew Valley, and I have no regrets for what I say.

————————————

Here’s what I think each of them would do:

Logan would probably be playing the game either like a speed run, or just think of profit. He would avoid the dateable NPCs like the plague and barely grow relationships with anyone. He would be only thinking about the tasks and nothing more. Oh, he’s also definitely finish the community center the quickest out of the other sides. He also has the most organized farm, and he’d only go to the festivals where he knows he can get something out of it, like the strawberry seeds from the egg hunt festival. He also would either sleep too early, or pass out at 2:00 AM. No in between.

Patton would be friends with everyone, have full hearts with them all, and would either marry Harvey or Elliott, mostly cus they fit his type. (Cough cough Janus/Logan) The kids would love him, he’d be full hearts with all the animals in the pen, and it would be IMPOSSIBLE for me to not see him without the golden retriever dog. Or the white cat because this is the only game where he can have a car and not be allergic to them. Also, he would avoid the mines like a plague and do all the help wanted requests even if he didn’t have the items right away. I can also see him having a not too organized farm, where 90% of that farm will be saved for animals or be a hot mess, and the 10% just having farmland that’s decently neat after Logan taught him what it could look like for maximum efficiency.

Roman would DEFINITELY have 6 saves with each of the dateable men married on each one. His farm would be AESTHETIC AS HELL with either a shed or a cabin decorated like crazy. He would be in the skull caverns or mines just killing monsters, and he’d be besties with all the female NPCs. He’d be gravitated towards Elliott or Sebastian, and probably join the save with Shane less but would still go because he’d be like “I can FIX HIM!!” Even tho after marriage he goes RIGHT BACK TO SQUARE ONE WITH THIS MAN. After all of that, he’d probably finish the community center after like… maybe year 3 or 4?? And I’m being generous here.

Virgil would choose the Spooky farm, and would ONLY start actively socializing in fall. Only because of the Halloween season. He would avoid all of the NPCs like the plague, and barely want to go to Pierre’s because of social interaction to buy seeds. He’d probably be friends with Abigail and Sebastian, and would definitely develop a crush on either Sam or Alex after maybe year 2- He would also be SUPER anxious about the tasks, sometimes to the point he’d never do them. He’d only go outside to either be in the mines, or on a rainy day. He may also call Elliott a knock off version of Roman, and definitely would say Harvey is Logan. And he would choose any of the cats, but definitely the black one.

Janus would probably say he wouldn’t bother, but would secretly play it for hours after everyone’s gone asleep. His farm would be a mix of Roman’s and Logan’s, with it leaning more towards the Logan side. He would probably call very NPC a knockoff of each of the sides, saying Linus is the closest to Remus but would more so compare him to any hostile mob instead like a slime. He would probably marry either Elliott or Alex, and would probably try to divorce them soon after marriage. He DEFINITELY would cheat his way through occasionally, only to get a loved gift by an NPC, or would get himself extra buffs if he was too lazy. Shit, he’d probably start with the cheats just cus he’d say something like “The start of the game is too slow” or something like that.

Remus…. Oh boy. He would use cheats but use it to get bombs, and explode everything. He also would drink mayo infront of all the NPCs, and gift each of them trash cus he can. He would dig in the trash every single day, and would chop down all the trees. He’d constantly pass out at 2:00 AM, pretty sure he’d be at the Saloon 60% of the time, and would probably romance Sebastian and would make Elliott hate him cus yknow.. he reminds him of Roman.

Y’all can pick the farms they’d most likely pick, but I know Logan would choose the standard farm, Patton would choose the group farm so he could play with the other sides, Roman would maybe choose the meadowlands for the aesthetic, Virgil would choose the Spooky farm, as well as Remus, and Janus would prolly pick the hilltop or forest farm just to say he can be away from everyone.

[happysparklingshadows]

𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚞𝚗𝚊 𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚙𝚖𝚎𝚗 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜 ('𝟿𝟼)

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚞𝚗𝚊 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

♡ Shauna is a Libra Sun and Aries Rising 

♡ Shauna’s favorite color is blue. When Shauna was in elementary school with Jackie, Jackie bought her a best friend necklace with a blue and pink heart. Jackie bought it for her to pick but really wanted the pink one, and Shauna always picked the blue one. Blue has always been her color ever since. 

♡ Shauna is a Dog person. Shauna gives off she is a Big Dog mom vibes. Shauna is distant with her emotions but very close with dogs. She just has a special connection to them. She always points out a dog in public (never approaching the owner just to say hi) and cries every time a dog dies in a movie. But at the same time, Shauna doesn't seem to be a person who would want an pet but she just likes the look of them.

Shauna's spirit animal is the Rabbit.

♡ Shauna is a stone-cold introvert. She doesn’t like meeting new people, she doesn’t like talking to people she is not prepared to speak to, and she doesn’t like trying new things. Shauna never complains about it or doesn’t do things if they are out of her comfort zone if you want. She would go to dances and dates in public, but she was shy. 

♡ Shauna’s favorite food is a little basic, but she doesn’t give a fuck. She fucking loves a good burger and some fries. She doesn’t care if an egg is on top, tomatoes, mayo, mustard, lattice, whatever. 

♡ Shauna's childhood could have been more stable, to be honest. Shauna’s mom and Dad divorced after her mom gave birth to her youngest brother, Ian. Shauna is the oldest Daughter of two younger brothers,  and her mom is constantly working at her job at the hospital to keep them all afloat. Shauna’s dad wasn’t perfect, and she always knew he wasn’t a good dad; he was an alcoholic and couldn't get his life together. When Shauna was 13, her dad remarried, started a new family, and stopped seeing them all. Shauna was always fed and had clothes on her back, but she has always been responsible for her brothers and the house when her mom was at work. All her life, she has played second mom, and she isn’t even mad at her mom because she can’t help that she needs to pay bills, but it is her dad’s fault for all of it.  That is why Shauna was so taken in by Jackie, and somewhat why she was envious of who Jackie was, because she had a perfect life, and she was perfect. Shauna never even had a chance to be perfect in her eyes. 

♡ Shauna’s sex drive is pretty high, wanting sex every other day. She wants to just hold you and touch your skin almost always. She is a soft Top! 

♡ Shauna’s biggest vice is Drinking at a party. Shauna is from a family that I feel has some addiction problems because she is usually quiet about Natalie’s drug use and defends her without being close to her at that party. I think Shauna has an issue with finishing every drink she is given. She has to see the bottom of the cup, but when she is not partying, or it’s in the settling to drink, Shauna never drinks. 

♡ ⚠️Unpopular opinion⚠️ Shauna really doesn’t like confrontation all that much. When Shauna fights someone, it feels like she is in a corner. Shauna isn’t always the friendliest, but she doesn’t like fighting people, especially with you. Shauna would be so sweet to you, and only you, like she will never put up a fight unless it is really needed. 

𝙳𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙰𝚄s/𝚄𝚗𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎s

♡ Royalty AU! Shauna would be your guard because, of course, you would be the princess of the Royalty AU! Shauna is just someone who doesn’t seem like they would be the most crucial player in a royal court or even really fit in, so I see her as an outsider who is welcomed there like a guard or food taster. 

♡ Delinquent AU! Streetracer, Shauna has a lot of built-up rage inside her, and she is just an adrenaline junkie. The minute she got her license, she always started to speed, and it started by going a few miles over until it was her going 120 mph down the highway. She doesn’t care. She might even steal parts to make her own racecar like “Fast in the Furious.”

♡ Supernatural AU! Vampire. She likes the taste of blood in YJ Canon. She licks the blood on her fingers when she cuts the meat in the show.  

♡ Superhero AU! Black Widow because they are emotionally distant and checked out to live in their environment. Like Black Widow is stupid intelligent, hot, and strong, just like Shauna. 

♡ College AU! English Major with a Minor in Sex and Gender Studies. Shauna is very quiet and shy. She would be so scared to talk to the professor after class about an assignment. She doesn’t join clubs until the sophomore year of her college career, and she doesn’t go to parties much.

𝙿𝚛𝚎-𝙲𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚑 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

♡ Shauna is the one in middle school to be the first to introduce that she likes you romantically, and you did the same. I feel like Shauna needs a little reassurance regarding romance because she doesn’t believe anyone would love her for her. 

♡ Shauna really likes to read and write a lot. She likes to have sleepovers with you to share the poems she found that made her think of you, she will read you the ones she wrote about you, and she likes to spend time together quietly. She likes to do the ADHD parallel quality time thing when you two do your own things. 

♡ Dates with Shauna consisted of going to parks and walking around with your hands holding. She likes to go outdoors and have fresh air while spending time with you alone. She likes the privacy of being together on a walk. No one else really listens to what you are saying. 

♡ Shauna is the more Avoidant partner. Shauna would avoid you when you start dating so she doesn’t disappoint you. When you confront her about that, she corrects her avoidant tendencies. Shauna needs her alone time, and she gives you your own alone time. She likes that you two are comfortable enough to give space, unlike her relationship with Jackie. 

𝚆𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

♡ You and Shauna are in a Trio friendship with Jackie. And instead of Jeff, Shauna and you have lied to her for months about your relationship. Like Jackie BBQ canon, it always happens, but it wouldn’t be because Shauna is pregnant because she is in a WLW relationship. 

♡ Shauna always gives you the first cut of meat because she loves you. She gives you a piece with extra fat and lets you have her more gristle pieces of meat if you like them. 

♡ Shauna is very pointed and gives an attitude about your sleeping bag being away from hers, like Jackie. I imagine that scene when Shauna goes to the attic with Taissa against Jackie’s wishes. I feel like they are like that to each other. Shauna wants you to sit next to her, to be by her when she is sleeping, and she doesn’t like the idea that you are away from the cabin without her with you.  Becomes very protective. 

♡ Shauna becomes slightly more relaxed about sex but is still the same high sex drive girl she was before the crash. She really loves you, and she just wants to spend time together. She is a lot more into kissing you, and she is more into making love than just straight-up fucking.