#specifically talking about the people who stuck with me post cancellation

[gaytedlasso]

I may not be super active with spnblr anymore but just felt like saying that there are so many people I met who mean so much to me, even if we don't talk much now. So just a blanket "love and appreciate you" to those people.

[copperbadge]

As a writer with ADHD who has gone to therapy for years, it has actually been very helpful in gaining tools to sort of "manually" emotionally regulate. My therapist says that writing fiction is a great tool to practice having emotions and regulating them, but like you I struggled with real-life negative emotions, especially a sudden unexpected one. The aftershocks could go on for days. It's had a really positive effect on my life and my relationships, and even my self-esteem. Hope this is useful

Okay, so this is interesting, because we've been talking in the comments of the post about what therapy is or can do, and I think I got stuck a bit backwards in terms of like "This technique doesn't seem like it would work on me regardless."

Because part of it is that I don't want to tell someone what won't work for me if I also don't actually have any kind of goal -- saying "I don't know why I'm here and also I'm going to fight you" is like...one, rude, and two, well then what are we even doing, you know? Why waste the time, I don't enjoy fighting with psychologists. If I don't want to do most of what it entails AND I don't have a reason to go, then therapy's just, you know, not for me. Which is fine, but I'd like to commit to either trying it out or ignoring it, instead of this endless circular motion, which bogged me down a bit in the post.

But if we backtrack to actually having a goal, then yeah, okay, more regulation would not be a bad one. I don't know that I believe it's possible given the only thing I've found that works is, uh, prescription amphetamines, and even then in very limited application, but again: haven't been to therapy in twenty-five years. So while I immediately know many things that wouldn't work, saying "I was diagnosed with ADHD recently and apparently emotional dysregulation is a thing, I've mostly fixed it but maybe there's something that could fix it more" might work. It sounds better than "I don't like this emotion and would like to know how to stop feeling it" anyway, even if the point is the same. And my meds psych is likely to be knowledgeable about specific people who might help me, when put like that.

I keep forgetting my next appointment with him is actually going to be in-person -- they're starting to adjust telehealth rules regarding controlled substance prescription, so he's supposed to get face-to-face with me at least every six months. I like him and trust him but every time I see that "in person" note on my calendar it zaps me back to being a teenager and experiencing the Weekly Dread of the Feelings Hour again. His extremely firm boundaries about Not Being My Therapist and the fact that I'm also kind of pleased to be able to meet him in person are keeping me from cancelling the appointment, at least. And my awkwardness on video calls has already prepared him to deal with Anxious Sam in person, so hopefully nothing will seem amiss.

[liskantope]

Back in late 2020 I made a post which mentioned as a side comment the impression I get from a lot of the more aggressive SJ people that writing/saying a lot (e.g. writing long, nuanced, qualifying, and/or perhaps defensive-sounding responses) is seen as evidence in and of itself of being wrong in the argument, specifically the type of wrong that comes from a position of privilege (I thought a little later I wrote a short post focusing only on this, but I can't seem to find it now). The example in the above-linked post is in the strangely-proportioned screenshot, where someone who is being attacked for not bowing down to the Correct political opinions keeps responding with lengthy, articulate, nuanced comments (which include some acknowledgment of her own weaknesses) and is met only more vehement attacks declaring checkmate explicitly on the grounds that her comments are long. The end of the exchange happens when she leaves a comment raising her eyebrows at being attacked for long-windedness, and the entirety of the response is "...you and your privilege". It's a finale that's stuck with me.

I was reminded of this today when an unexpected spurt of activity showed up on my Tumblr: an activist with whom I got into a contentious exchange well over two years ago for some reason chose now to abruptly reblog a several of my lengthy responses with pithy remarks (okay, plus one which includes a link to her own independent blog post about it which I don't think I'd seen before), and a minor flurry of likes and replies followed. I don't care to reblog any of this now, or even link to it, because my getting into that debate is something I'm really not proud of: the topic is not a hill I want to die on, and I dislike my awkward defensiveness and repeated apologies and semi-retractions. If I'm going to spend time and energy arguing something really controversial, I would rather it be a discussion where I can be really incisive and not catch myself arguing carelessly and sloppily and feel the repeated need to step back and clutter everything with caveats and apologies. But, if you are curious, I was defending a YouTuber I respect from being cancelled for being Problematic, and this exchange happened in spring of 2021.

The one new bit of substantive information for me coming from today's activity is the link to a separate blog post written at the time, which further confirms that there's no point in me continuing to defend that YouTuber to this activist: apparently among the list of things that makes this YouTuber's case worse and confirms their guilt are (1) publishing an earlier video which made all of the exact right points but which (surprise, surprise) got noticed by more people than a written article by a lower-profile person from the Relevant Marginalized Group making essentially the same points, (2) acknowledging that the Relevant Social Justice Cause is a good one and including a link to a fundraiser, and (3) momentarily sighing with a slight look of exasperation when first bringing up the accusation of being Problematic in a video. (Sorry I'm continuing to be vague here.)

Continuing to argue with this activist would be a waste of time, since our rhetorical values and norms are clearly too far apart for us ever to reach each other. Looking at it makes me grateful to have found a part of Tumblr that does share my basic notions of how discussions should work.

But what strikes me most of all is how my lengthiness itself is somehow treated as evidence of my guilt or wrongness or privilege or something. One of my lengthy reblogs got met today with a single sentence mocking it as a "dissertation" and managing to weirdly characterize my thesis without explanation, while another later one got met with "Have you considered just.... never talking again? Because you are not good at it." Again, these little zingers were fired off probably within a few minutes earlier today, in response to things I wrote back in spring of 2021.

That's the exact same kind of back-of-the-hand dismissal that I mentioned above having witnessed done to someone else (with the "...you and your privilege" comment). It reads like "This person talks too much, that's how you know they're in the wrong, so no need to address any of their points, if I smack them with a one-sentence response saying 'Haha that just further confirms you're wrong!' then I win."

And it's like, usually I consider my ability at cognitive empathy to be quite good, but it's hard for me to figure out what the other party is actually thinking in a situation like this: I can sort of get my head around not respecting nuance in certain selective situations and thinking the ability to feel nuance is a sign of privilege or something, but I can't quite figure out how they justify these one-sentence blanket dismissals on the grounds that the other person's comments are too long without imagining that they must be aware on some level that they're just being domineering-in-an-internet-way and deliberately going for a cheap and empty slam-dunk. This isn't very charitable, but honestly I have a hard time understanding such people's motives any other way.

[queerrocket]

dear god this has given me feelings.

Okay so so first it depends on which River, I think op here is talking about a River closer to what we see in Silence of the Library, a post Darrillium River. But allow me to go on several tangents before arriving at the point. 

If we were talking about a young River, I'm picturing right off the bat of saving his life in Berlin, it would be so different. This River has just chosen to forfeit her lives for his but more importantly she's chosen to forfeit the Silence and everything that entails. If we really boil it down here River has essentially just chosen/made a gamble on freedom (and love but she doesn't really know that yet and it's not important to her nor is it the point and apparently she never really does know (if you ever loved me)) rejecting the only constant thing in her life so far, the Silence, a cult like institution which has emotionally manipulated, abused, lied, treated her like a tool and conditioned her to be a psychopath, for her entire life.

A young River, immediately post all of that fucking shit, getting stuck with this version of the Doctor, I think the capacity for angst here is undeniable, especially for River. Like if we take the distrust and weariness from the way he treated her in the library which was before 10s edgy dramatic boi era and dial it up, I can't imagine either of them would have a good time. I'd probably need to rewatch that era of ten to get some better or more specific ideas. But I do think this River is very much a sponge let loose on the universe for the first time and that mentality with this ten would be interesting and angsty.

But okay an older River and this ten, but a post Manhattan River and a post Darrillium River would also be vastly different I think. Post Manhatten is a River who's just lost two out of three (and you might say 3/3 here but that depends on personal HC for which there's no right or wrong answers, for me I enjoy thinking that they fought, maybe he cancelled on Darrilum again, maybe she couldn't let him in the way they both needed, maybe maybe maybe) people she's ever loved. In HoRS we (and the doctor) got to more overtly see another side of River that’s always been present (an incomplete list of things River has gotten up when the Doctor’s been out of earshot pre Darrillium: made a dalek beg for mercy, poisoned Dorium for a bargain, drugged a number of Romans, and the list goes on, I’m sure I’ve forgotten a few and these are without mentioning the dweu) a “darker” side that HoRS prevents us from ignoring anymore (this is where genoiced comes to kick back and relax and sweets are reserved for planet burners *picks up a sweet*). So this River with nothing to lose and that ten. 

I don’t think it would be as big a disaster as it could be. At the risk of sounding too sappy I think River loves him too much to let him go completely off the rails, I think River would hold tight to all the things he’s taught her (kindness without hope, without witness and without reward) I think she’d be motivated by the need to preserve the future/past of their time together while being absolutely ripped apart believing that they didn't mean nearly as much to him as they did to her. I think that she would not be very good at commanding the leash as op put it, because of all (the grief, the guilt, isolation, ect.) that’s going on with her, I think that she could help him grieve and rediscover what makes him the Doctor and I think it could be an immensely satisfying tale of self discovery and acceptance for this version of River. Where by the end of it she realises that she helped that she’s partly responsible for all the things that she loves so deeply and completely about him (the quote is literally something like …without reward and this is why I love him, my husband) and thus loves about herself? While also of course being filled with angst, it’d be a long and hard journey, two steps forward one step back type beat for both of them. 

Okay so we arrive at post Darrillium River, this is where we see patience, acceptance, where he rails against her and she is the calm to his storm, this River is like the one we see in A Good Man Goes to War, calmly and methodically taking him down a peg when she needs too and offering a truth as a soothing comfort. She would let him do what he needs to do and intervene when necessary, she’s loved him for a thousand years plus however long they spent together on Darrillium, she knows him so intimately and completely. And the angst comes in here with her missing her husband, someone who knows her as surely as she does him. Would flow nicely into the library two parter, she's spent the last however long helping him the way he helped her post Berlin, closing the loop sort of, we could get some satisfied introspection from River accepting her end on the heels of this story i suppose.

+1  Data ghost River and this ten have the capacity to burn things. If we take (now this is heavily hc dependent and actually this is just blatant fanfic at this point, not that the others weren’t) a River who’s been in the library for thousands of years, a River who has come to resent her paradise, thinking of it as a prison rather than an afterlife (if you ever loved me and left me like a book on a shelf) with these two perhaps we see Ten finally being the one to curb River’s destruction. Maybe she doesn’t think he can hear her, maybe she spoils everything in bitter rage, maybe after she lost her body she’s been steadily losing the rest of herself too, maybe their grief feeds off one another, maybe this is the darkest timeline, maybe he falls in love with a twisted ghost and instead of clawing his way out of the darkness like the Doctor, he lets them sink deeper and deeper until they’re drowning and taking the universe down with them.

I'm so normal about her guys don't even worry about it :)

Hmm yeah, I do wanna see River deal with Timelord Victorious era 10th Doctor. I think she'd be able to thread the needle of letting him be his Worst Self for a bit. Like yeah babe be toxic, let it all out. Yet at the same time keep him from totally going to far and losing his mind without him realizing she's got him on a leash.

[peppermint-flavored-chaos]

things i did as a neurodivergent person to get straight a’s for the third year in a row

hi hello hi how’s it going. welcome to the 3am-burst-of-motivation-tumblr-post-of-the-day, where i’m sharing all of my study tips that allowed my adhd/austism/ocd/bpd brain to somehow squeeze out straight a’s for the third year (sixth semester) in a row. 

1. study differently for different subjects. contrary to popular belief, flashcards and rewriting your notes does not work for every subject (unless it does for you, in which case ignore me and do what works for you). different subjects, at least for me, require different environments, techniques, and associations. 

2. association! sensory stuff works great for me because i tend to associate physical things with emotions and even personality types, so have something be constant every time you study. example: i have two tubes of chapstick, one peppermint and one pomegranate. i put on the peppermint one right before i go to bed and the pomegranate one after i eat breakfast - i associate the different scents with different activities (going to bed and starting my to-do list). 

3. to-do lists! mine are written on sticky notes and stuck to my mirror because i hate hate hate having the sticky glue stuff from sticky notes on my mirror and i’m not allowed to clean my mirror until all the sticky notes are off of it. when i can’t see my mirror, they’re on the outside of my backpack because they’re bright pink and the social anxiety makes me think people are staring at me if they are on my backpack. 

4. change your location often. specifically for my adhd peeps who have the attention span of an overexcited puppy, walk around. do things. go to a park or a coffee shop or a grocery store or a sidewalk or a bench somewhere or my personal favorite, the bank. when you’re understimulated go somewhere with lots of different noises and when you’re overstimulated so somewhere quiet or control noises (listen to music, noise-cancelling headphones, humming). 

5. keep a piece of paper next to you for the Random Thoughts That Come at Inconvenient Times and write down the stuff you want to look up/do/tell someone about and like... i don’t even know why that helps but it does. just having your thoughts out there i guess?

6. body doubling. find a person who will study with you. bonus points if it’s another neurodivergent person. they are depending on you to finish the studying and get the good grade. THEY ARE DEPENDING ON YOU. DON’T DISAPPOINT THEM. (side note anxiety people i would not recommend this for you)

7.  go to a place that will remind you to pee and eat and drink things. starbucks is great for this. so are most restaurants. 

8. get a new thing to study with every week. i like new things. if i have a new thing i am going to use it until it’s no longer exciting. i get a pencil, just a boring, manual pencil from the drugstore every monday afternoon for like sixty cents. it’s a fantastic method, at least for me. 

9. don’t drink something with caffeine in it while studying. you will either fall asleep or end up on a roof. it is not a good situation. caffeine for neurodivergents is like sleep pills, for me at least and most of the other ND’s i’ve met. if not for you, you’re lucky. 

10. spaced reps. in other words, find a big pair of dice and write vocab terms on each side, then hurl it at the ground and define each term. do this for like an hour. it’s fun and gets a lot of energy out. 

11. stim. vocal stims, physical stims, self-talk, fidget, yelp, squeal, tap your foot, walk around, shrug your shoulders, twitch your nose, jump up and down, ribbit like a frog. stim, stim, stim. it helps. 

anyways. it’s 3:17 am. happy studying!

[bigskydreaming]

I kinda wanna fucking scream, so here, have a offline bullshit rant post.

So I’ve literally been trying to get my stupid fucking meds for over a MONTH now at this point, which I’m sure you can all see like, my mood is just wooooonderful these days. Not an excuse, casual reminder that yeah you do gotta take care of your own space so if my mood is dragging anyone down, I’m totes on board with blocking or unfollowing or y’know, burning me in effigy or something. Okay maybe not that last part. But still. You get it. And its not even that like, I need mood stabilizers per se, lol, so shout out to the armchair diagnosticians helpfully peppering my inbox still in their quest to oh so slickly be like ‘hey you’re a hot mess, take your hot messness away from tumblr’ like lol, didn’t ask.....nah, its mostly the perpetual lack of sleep and chronic pain issues that I have zero distraction from when my specific combo of meds isn’t able to let me actually weaponize my ADHD properly and power through that. Its a whole thing. Whatever. Just go with it.

POINT IS. So I’ve been trying to do this for over a month now, first obstacle was even just getting the money together for my refill appointment which is a whopping $150, because I have to pay out of pocket for mental health stuff these days because I had to switch my insurance over to something that paid out more heavily for physical benefits like my jaw surgery.....and because of the pandemic, and how many psychiatrists in my area and that I could actually reach aren’t taking new patients during the pandemic since most of them are conducting business virtually still, like, I have barely any resources for seeking out and trying new psychiatrist offices in the meanwhile that might charge less and I’m kinda stuck with the one I have because the last thing I can afford is to have like, NO psychiatrist at the moment, y’know?

So first I had to have that to even BOOK the appointment, which took forever because rent and food are a joy to accrue when you can barely manage to function as an actual employee of the capitalist machine ahfsklhflkahflakf, but so then I did that and like, got an appointment put on the books for August 19th. That was the soonest they could fit me in back when I paid them for my appointment about a week and a half ago. No, two weeks ago now? Eh, time is fake. ANYWAY, so that wasn’t gonna work for me, so basically the entirety of last week was devoted to constantly calling and trying to check in every other hour to see if they had any sooner cancellations I could take, because for whatever fucking reason, they just ‘don’t do’ a cancellation list wherein they call the next person on the list once they have a cancellation. Whatever.

So finally got a cancellation slot with a virtual appointment last Saturday night at random as fuck 8:40. Okay cool. Most of my refills are fairly simple, no real changes, but two are controlled substances so like, they have to do their due diligence and go through the proper protocols before giving me another prescription to one or whatever. Fine. Okay.

So I call the CVS they sent the prescription for my ADHD med to, the very next morning. One of the controlled substances, and the key med to like....making me functional instead of a rambling disjointed whirlibird of a thought emitter. Problem is, that medication is on back order. Won’t be in until Tuesday. Ugh. Okay, fine. Nothing I can do about it, because while the specific provider I spoke to in order to GET my refill prescriptions was taking an appointment the night before, the actual offices that schedule appointments and connect patients through to their providers was closed for the weekend, so I couldn’t even ask for them to send the scrip somewhere else.

SO. I go back to the CVS on Monday, hoping that maybe it came in early because not like I can do much else in the meanwhile. Course its not there, but oh well. I toy with the idea of calling to ask my provider to send the scrip to a different pharmacy (only had it sent to this one cuz its within walking distance to me, and since I can’t drive for medical reasons and Uber’s are expensive as fuck, just for errands, like, even though walking is sooooo not fun for me physically, like it is what it is). I decide against it because here’s another fun fact about this controlled substance....for security reasons, pharmacies don’t have to tell people over the phone if they have it in stock or not. Like, they won’t just say no we don’t have it in stock - I mean, they WILL say that, but that doesn’t actually mean anything because that’s what most of them say about that particular medication no matter whether or not they DO, and then just cite security protocols, so you have to actually GO to the store in question to ask them and even get a real answer to whether or not they even HAVE it in stock to FILL a prescription if its sent over. And no, the provider won’t just send scrips into several different pharmacies at once and just be whichever has it in stock can fill it - because again, controlled substance.

SO. I decide its not worth it to try getting the scrip sent over somewhere else, because I’d have to at least waste money on an Uber to even travel to various pharmacies and even check if they CAN fill it sooner than this one, when at least this place will have it in tomorrow. Its just one more day at this point.

Except then I go back on Tuesday. Oh sorry, don’t know why that other person told you we’d have our order in today, our shipments of that medication don’t come in until Wednesdays.

So I go back Wednesday. Success! They have it in stock. I go to pay, pulling out my goodRx coupon that was just printed out that morning, specifically citing the price for CVS at Target. The pharmacy manager says sorry, we don’t honor that coupon here for controlled substances like this one. I say: record scratch? He’s like yeah, that’s at the discretion of individual pharmacies, and we don’t honor that price for this specific medication, because we don’t want to attract customers only coming here to get that medication filled for that price. (This pharmacy is right at the edge of Inglewood and Culver City, for anyone who is familiar with those neighborhoods. The implications are exactly as they appear to be). So I’m like, what’s the regular generic price? He quotes me something that’s $180 more than the coupon, and thus $180 more than I have since I was focused totally on getting THIS amount ASAP, so I could get these meds so I could do more work and make more money. You see the train of thought. I’m like well that’s awesome, I don’t have anything close to that. Hey. Weird question. Why did nobody I talked to the past three days in a row that I’ve walked into this store in person to request this refill, like, mention this little tidbit about not honoring this coupon so instead of waiting for a backorder that would do me no good, I could have been spending that time having my prescription transferred somewhere that WOULD honor it?

He’s like, well did you mention to any of them that you’d be using a goodRx coupon for this particular medication? I said, yup. He said, you sure? I said well the specific process each time was I came in, I asked if this medication was in, they said what’s your name and date of birth, I provided that info, they said are you paying out of pocket, we don’t have valid insurance info for this on file for you, I said yup paying out of pocket with a goodRx coupon, they said *clickety clack of the keyboard* nope, sorry, we won’t have this medicine in until Tuesday, I mean Wednesday. 

He’s like, well you must be misremembering or they would have told you at the time that we don’t take GoodRx coupons on this medication. I’m like, dude, it was you. It was literally you that I spoke to two of those three times, right here at the counter, in person. I’m gonna go ahead and trust my memory of those interactions and what was said there over yours since you don’t actually remember having talked to me two times in the last three days. He’s like, I gotta go help another customer. There is no other customer. I leave. Fun day for everyone.

So then I call around town to at least check which CVS will actually honor the coupon I have and the price that I can afford to pay it at. I don’t bother asking if they even have the medication in stock because I know its not guaranteed to be a CORRECT answer, but at least I can see who accepts this damn coupon. Also, reason I’m only trying big brand pharmacies instead of smaller, hole in the wall ones is because again, controlled substance, and I know from experience that the bigger brand pharmacies are at least more likely to have that med in stock whereas most smaller ones tend to run out very quickly as they usually only get enough for their existing/regular customers and a little extra.

I find a CVS five miles away - not walkable, gonna have to Uber. Call my psychiatrist office again to ask them to transfer the scrip, front office says they’ll send the request to my provider, who usually checks and fulfills such requests in 24-48 hours. I’m like okay cool, can I get a phone call to let me know when that happens, so at least I know when to check back to follow up if it hasn’t happened yet for whatever reason? They’re like no, the pharmacy will send you a text or call when they get the prescription sent over and you can take it from there with them. I’m like okay, but I’ve done this a bunch of times and know from experience the pharmacy does NOT in fact always call or text, so is there a certain time to follow up to inquire if the provider has already sent the scrip and the pharmacy SHOULD have it by now or if the delay is on the provider’s end? Front office is like yeah no. I’m like, swell.

So that was yesterday. I call the pharmacy (which I still don’t even know if they have the medication IN STOCK to fill the scrip even once they GET the scrip, and won’t until I can actually Uber out there, but one thing at a time at this point) at like 9 pm, they’re a 24 hour pharmacy, and they’re like nope, we got nothing (this is after spending an hour and a half on hold to even TALK to someone at the pharmacy). Called them again today at noon, still nada. Technically I have another 29 hours before the window in which the provider is supposed to send the refill scrip to this new location, before I can be like, okay so they still haven’t done it, can we send him a nudge or another request. The 24-48 hour window will only actually EXPIRE after their offices close on Friday meaning it’ll be Monday before I can even actually REACH someone again to ask them to send the scrip again, if the pharmacy hasn’t ACTUALLY gotten it by Friday night, and pessimistically, I’m not super inclined to assume that they will at this point. 

I’m antsy, irritable, hungry because I don’t even know for SURE sure if the new pharmacy will ACTUALLY honor the coupon or say no sorry we don’t do that here either, whoever told you that was wrong, or if they’ll even actually have it in stock versus I’ll have to have it sent somewhere else AGAIN, so I have to pinch every penny possible in order to ensure I have the most money possible once my prescription IS filled in case the price is more than I expected again or in case I have to take Ubers there or further than I expected or basically....shit happens that I don’t expect. And this is what I’m basically spending all my time doing instead of working, because trying to get work done in this state is like....the harder I try to make it happen, the less it actually gets done, so I try and prioritize this and its roadblock after roadblock dragging out and wasting my time, and like yeah, I can post and shit while I’m doing this aka sitting on hold or walking around town trying to get shit filled because its fine if I ramble incoherently along the way in posts, but actual WORK work requires like....fucking coherency and succinctness and not having to stop and start every five minutes to call someone else, and oh yeah, being able to power through migraine spikes. And just.

I’m very annoyed about anything and everything to do with this shit. The hoops you have to jump through to even get the stuff that like....actualizes your hoop jumping ability, is just....*gnashing of teeth*

Anyway. So that’s my offline bullshit rant. Yay. The end.

[ashipiko]

IM GLAD YPU ENJOY THE LORE DUMPS WWWW 😭😭

also HELP IK UNBELIEVABLE AMIRITE ��� he would love that actually <33 specific shaved ice!!! TARU IZUMI FRIENDSHIP FR <3333

🤔 izumi’s issues…… WELL BASICALLY yk how it’s mentioned that he really enjoys making jewelry and stuff and that’s why he likes going on the beach to collect shells??? <3 it used to be his passion project but once people started finding out at school, the popular kids started to adopt him but purely for his talents 😔😔 so they would sap him of all of his jewelry and he eventually ended up losing the passion to create genuine art, instead only creating it for other people he doesn’t feel connected to </3 AND LIKS!!!! instead of via who attempts to fight against people who force things onto her, Izumi kinda gave up and is now a doormat <3 FUN!!!!!

SO HE HAS ISSUES LIKE…. SEEING HIMSELF AS A GENUINE PERSON AND NOT JUST FOR HIS TALENTS YK? IZUMIS FUN TOO!!!

D’AWWWWW TARURU!!! MAYBE YOU’D BE A VIA STAN FROM THE BEGINNING…… 🤔🤔 mayhaps mayhaps…… SHE USED TO DO PARKOUR TOO BUT NOT ANYMORE 😭😭

TWSTSHI LORE!!!! WWWW TRUST ME IM DEF GONNA MAKE A POST ABOUT HER ONE DAY just dunno how to execute it……… ALSO THANKIES SM!!!!!!!! ME TOO I LOVE IT WHEN CHARAS HAVE TO RESTART FROM THE V BOTTOM ITS SO. COOL LIKE? <33 prosekashi basically has a canceled arc and has a whole realization and she’s all “IM A FRAUD IM A LIAR” and colosplash AKA HER REAL ONES!!!! try to comfort her 😔😔 <333 colosplash is so cute

YEAH!! NAO LORE IS FUNNN cuz naoto is just v distant from other people?? 🤔 so it’s weird when it comes to mirei because he becomes wayyy more talkative and his personality does a 180 but it’s basically just to please her 😔 people never reached out or tried to get him away from her either cuz they just assume they’re like weird besties/lovers?? BUT NAO IS STUCK IN A WEIRD POSITION SO??? HIS FIRST EVENT IS BASICALLY HIM WANTING TO HANG OUT W COLOSPLASH but mirei is REALLY possessive so she tries to cut him off from them and YK. TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS LILE THAT the song cute na kanojo is a song I hella associate w em 🙏

ALSP TYSM ON THAT LORE COMMENT???? WWWW TARURUU 😭😭 I RARELY EVER HAVE OCS SO MEANS A LOT. if you think this is a lot my lore for sky pirates is WAY worse </3

NAWWWW TYSM FOR LISTENING!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO HONORED WW

YOUR TAGS WERE SO FUN TO READ TARU HELPPPP 😭😭 answering them here seemed like the best option so HI!!!! <333

IZUMI IS SUPER OCEAN CODED……. he loves collecting shells on the beach and creating jewelry outta em but 😔 he stays on the shore now after being stung by a jellyfish <//3 he’s traumatized www ITS SO FUNNY THO CUZ EVERYONES LIKE “WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM WHY DOES HE HATE JELLYFISH” HAHAHA 🫶 he does like the ocean tho!!! 🤔 at least on the surface…….

ALSO VIA SO VALID EVERYONES BEEN LOVING HER DESIGN WHICH IS SOOOOOO FUNNIES CUZ PRE-REVAMP NO ONE LIKED HER 😭😭 but yeah!!! 😔 the blues actually a ribbon tho….. her actual hair is the yellow!! <33 but the ribbon slays in her group outfit

GLAD YOU LIKE PROSEKASHI’S ENERGY she’s probs the most honest/blunt FEM ashi (ignoring atsu/milgramshi) so!!! SHES SUPER FUN. SHE HAS ISSUES (everyone in this group does)

ALSO YAY NAOTO!!! NAOTO’S SO. his angst is so fun 🫶🫶 so you SHOULD put him under a microscope!! GOOD CHOICE

IM GLAD YOU LIKE THE OUTFITS WWWWW…… v rare fashion designer ashi moment!!! <3

HI ASHI!!!! I'M HAPPY TO HAVE YOU IN MY INBOX 💗💕

Poor Izumi 😔😔 I love seeing jellyfish but all the times I saw them while swimming, I was. Very scared. So I get him. Pat pat Izumi I want to be his friend lowkey

(more under the cut bc it was getting kinda long sjndkdms)

OH MB JSNDKFS BUT SLAY OF VIA!! Blue and yellow and my favorite colors so 🫶🫶 I'M CURIOUS WHAT PRE-VAMP HER LOOKS LIKE NOW SONDKFKSFM THAT MEANS YOU DID A GOOD JOB THO!!!

I'd love to hear more about prosekashi!!! She sounds different from twstshi so I wanna know!! I'm studying the ashiverse now /j But they even have kinda different vibes in pictures which is so cool???

YOU SAYING NAOTO'S ANGST IS FUN MAKES ME SCARED FOR HIM NGL 😭😭😭

WDYM RARE THO?? OB AND FAIRY GALA ASHI LOOKED SO ✨✨‼️‼️ I LOVED THEIR OUTFITS!!!! AND THESE ONES ARE SO SUMMERY IT FITS THEIR LOOK!!!

[junova]

↬ 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐭 | 𝐬. 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

abstract: the one where steve finds your love letters.

pairing: au!steve x fem!reader

word count: 3K+

warnings: cussing, fluff, angst, crying, slight self-deprecation.

[author’s note]: hey guys! i’m really new to the writing scene so kind words are appreciated! srsly just testing my writing style out and wanted to just post something to motivate me to keep writing. hope u like it. <3

also thank u ari for the inspo and that bomb ass album that saved twenty-twenty. now we just need biden to get elected.

ps. don’t forget to vote! <3

Stevie,

First and foremost, I want you to know how proud of you I am. You have become the man you’ve said you become, the one I always knew you would. You have finally seen what the rest of us see.

A good man.

The soul you carry within you shines brighter than I’ve ever seen. Just for that only, I’m thankful for the time we’ve spent together. Maybe one day, I’ll be brave enough to tell you this without hiding behind the comfort of this notebook. She won’t spill my secrets, fortunate for me.

Some days you have no idea how badly I want to tell you. I think it’s on the days I discover a new fleck of green in your eyes or maybe when you show up to class with a cup of coffee for me without request.

More. More. More.

More. More. More.

It’s selfish of me, that much I know. More days than not, I would say you give too much of yourself away. Always wanting to appease everyone, you, Steven Rogers, the bridge to making the people around you happier than they walked in. Even when Bucky drags you into his nonsense bullshit, you say yes without hesitation.

I’ve got not a a clue on how you continue on, how you still remain you when you tend to spread yourself so thin. Who watches out for you? Who cares for you? Who loves the almighty, selfless Rogers?

For me, it’s much easier to pretend you carry too much on your plate than to deal with the rejection I would receive from you. You’re just too good, more than I deserve. More than I would be willing to take. I know I couldn’t possibly give you what you deserve but, I hope that one day you might see me differently. You would see me more than the light I’ve painted myself in.

Even though the shade is lovely, I want to be deeper. Deeper into you on a level which only seems unattainable at this point.

A forever friend. To be in your life, just as a friend, is an reward in itself.

But someday I hope you would love me in the same way I do. It’s all a love struck girl could do. Hope for the best, bet be prepared for the downfall.

With much love, your forever friend.

Tearing the page away from the binding of the overfilled notebook, dispensing it in the first empty drawer you could find, you abandoned the feelings as soon as the pen’s ink bleed out dry.

“You know it would just be easier to tell him how you feel.” You peaked up at the sound of her voice, before realizing she was looming over you, watching your write the letter.

Your supposed, secret letter.

“Nat, please. No.” Opening the drawer, she grabbed the letter but was surprised with just how many she found.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’ve written about him multiple times?” You sank in the soft, plush material of your seat hoping that just maybe it would begin to swallow you whole. Hopefully, fast enough were you wouldn’t have to endure the rest of the conversation. One you had been trying to avoid, for the past three years.

“It’s nothing Nat, just forget it.” Just like a Romanov, she couldn’t leave it alone. Even if she tried it was laced in her blood to see any little thing through.

“You really shouldn’t wait so long. A window might close for you, much sooner than you think.” With a curious eyebrow lifted, you felt your breath leave you.

“What does that supposed to mean?” Steve certainly deserved the best and you knew it was only time for him to figure out you would never be enough for him.

“Peggy Carter.” Peggy.

The one girl of a sea of many who had been enamored by Steve. He never really seemed to spend anytime with the women who vied for his attention, but Peggy was surely different than the rest.

Even if Steve was oblivious when it came to the advances everyone would make on him, he saw Peggy. Considering she was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen, she intimidated you. God, did she ever.

On numerous occasions she and Steve had gone out, and even though he assured you they were just friends you were starting to believe he was only trying to protect your feelings. As a friend.

He had never cancelled on you once for her and he would tell you if he had started to date someone, just like he had before.

Even though the entire three years you’d known him he only had one serious girlfriend and after eight months, the pair broke up and even now he still didn’t budge on why they broke up.

“Steve can do whatever he wants with her. He’s a single man. He’s gone out with her before and he’ll probably go with her again.” Then Sam was the next to speak up, dismissing the total bullshit spouting from your mouth.

“Can’t you see he doesn’t want to? The damn man follows you around like a goddamn puppy.” Okay, when did he even come in here?

“God, fuck, no he doesn’t. He would have said something by now, he’s had three years and it’s been nothing but radio silence.” With an all knowing smirk, Sam proposed a new concept into question.

“It has been three years. So, have you ever said anything to him?”

Shit. Fuck you, Wilson.

“W-Well, not exactly.” Sam didn’t have to say anything in response. You knew he was right and you hated it.

Your unwillingness still stood for you, there was just no way he actually would reciprocate your feelings.

“Listen, I think it would be really good for the both of you to air everything out. Peggy is sinking her claws in him and it isn’t too long before they get stuck. Just talk to him.” You nodded silently, but you weren’t sure if you’d ever have the courage to.

—

Emptiness.

It’s all you seemed to feel today. Following you around was a dark cloud, looming over you. Wishing you could be anywhere but your own body. Nothing in particular happened to make you deserve the feeling you were granted with. It just so happened to be one of those days.

From the moment you got out of bed — or rather stayed in bed until four in the afternoon, you felt like anything you would have done just didn’t feel enough. The feeling was fleeting, never staying for more than a day or so, but it made the day drag on. Never ending.

Your muscles sore, body aching from the lack of activity your presumed. Or maybe you had built it in your head too.

Thankfully for you, Nat was busy helping Bucky move into his new place the entire day. She asked if you wanted to help, but mentally you didn’t feel you would be useful for anyone. Simply, telling her you would hang back, claiming you had another an essay to write.

Which you did, you weren’t completely lying, but there was more than your sour mood to blame for your dismissal of social interaction.

You hated to be that girl, the one who needed the presence of men. Specifically, the company of one very beautiful, blue eyed one.

His absence in your life the past few weeks felt heavier on you than you thought it would. You knew from Sam’s intel he had been hanging out with Peggy more and more. He said the two of them were getting close, mercifully sparing you the details.

You hated it’s you’d become. A girl so damn struck over a boy who was giving his attention elsewhere. Upset you were though. Before even if he was busy between classes and his internship at the gallery, he would still text to check up on you.

Now, it was nothing but radio silence letting you draw conclusions on your own. Very, very dangerous territory for you to travel to.

Steve and you are just friends. Get. Over. It.

You thought you’d be alone the rest of the Saturday, especially since it was nearly midnight. Figuring Nat was staying over at Bucky’s and Wanda leaving earlier in early hours of the morning to see her boyfriend for the entire weekend.

Then, an incredibly drunk Steve stumbled into your quaint apartment, the thoughtfully sweetness in him blubbering out with the alcohol flooding through his system. It was like he was on overdrive. More than ready to crash at any given moment.

You had enough when Steve started shamelessly raiding your kitchen, but you remained on the couch attempting to maintain some distance between the two of you. He had a history of being incredibly handsy whenever he had bit too much to drink.

Stumbling his way over to you, almost tripping on the rug, until he was basically cuddling up to your side. His arms latched tightly around you, pulling you into him. Not spared a choice, not that you’d want one.

The security of being wrapped up to him wasn’t something you ever grew tired of. You don’t think there would ever be a time you would ever be capable of turning him away.

“I’ve missed you. It’s been too long.” His soft tone, penetrating the tiny resistance you held towards him. “Me too. I was starting to think you disappeared on me, bubba.”

“Never.” His iron grip holding so tight like he was afraid you’d slip right through.

“Is everything alright?” Trying to pull from him, but Steve seemed unable to let you go. You whispered in his ear, caressing his back.

“I think so.”

“Here, let me grab you cup of joe and some water. Okay? I’ll be right back.” Leaving him a kiss on the cheek, before heading him into the kitchen.

If you had been around him recently, perhaps you would be more in tune with how he was feeling. Then the guilt sept in.

“Sweetheart, do you know where the phone charger is? It’s not by the recliner.” You heard him shout, trying to stop your heart from hammering into your stomach.

Just make him some coffee, sober him up, until he crashes.

Steve always seemed to be a lightweight and somehow whenever he did decide to drink he always found himself routing his way into your home. You thought it was simply for accident alone. The bar he frequented at was only a few block from you.

The past few times he would just stumble into your bedroom, immediately passing out in your soft, silky sheet. Now, he seemed to have more pressing matters at hand.

“Check the drawers, Stevie. I think there’s one you left around here somewhere.” You grabbed the filters and the grounds out, brewing the coffee. Soon, with a black cup of coffee and a water bottle in hand you took note of just how quite he was being.

He was never this silent and it was freaking you out.

“Are you sure you’re o-”

Just like that.

Fuck.

Hunched over, practically on his knees, he read over the endless letters you wrote about him. Confessions never meant to be seen by him. You lost track of how many you had written over the past few years once realized how irrevocably in love with him you are.

He didn’t realize you had found him and you were suddenly paralyzed. Unaware of your presence he continued to read through them and his expression was unrecognizable. One you’d never seen from him before, and you didn’t quite know how to react.

No. He wasn’t grimacing nor did he seem to be elated either. He just stood there just like you, afraid what would happen next.

What did this mean for the two of you? Your entire relationship was purely riding on whatever happened next.

Softly, with a gentle hand, he sifted through them all like he was looking for something specifically. Steve let them fall to the hardwood floors as your shaking hands could no longer support the weight of the dainty coffee cup he had actually sculpted himself.

The glass shattering everywhere, several pieces making their way towards him, thankfully not fiercely enough to penetrate his skin.

Truly, you had never been more sorry than when he looked up at you with tears in his eyes. Threatening to spill over. Because of you.

You didn’t have to be told, you already knew.

Carefully, Steve stood up making his way over to you around the shattered mug. Still you couldn’t bring yourself to move. Simply just watching him until he was right in front of you — more silent than you’d ever seen him before.

“Those were about me. Weren’t they?” You nodded having no reason to lie other than to protect yourself from a rejection you been hoping to spare yourself from.

“I didn’t want you to find out like this. Or at all really.” Your resolve dropping instantly when Steve took a step further gripping by your hips, pulling you closer.

“Why not?” He questioned you, again. Almost like he needed a verbal affirmation of every secret he had just read.

Unintentionally, stealing your soul served for him on a silver platter.

“I know how you’d feel about me, Steve. It’s not how I want it to be and it’s okay.” You remove yourself from him, traveling to the other side of the living room. Suddenly, the apartment seemed suffocating with him in it. “I’m fine, Steve.”

Hearing him sigh in frustration only furthered your immense feeling of being a burden to him.

You’re just one more obstacle he has to deal with.

“One of them dated back for over two years ago. Two fucking years.” His harsh tone, piercing through you like a knife.

“I know. I should have told you.” You whispered, wishing you could disappear into any abyss that would take you. Deeply wishing you just didn’t have to endure for the rest of this conversation. Wishing you could have stopped him from opening that stupid drawer. “I tell you everything, but I just couldn’t bring myself to speak about this. Look at how you’re reacting? How could you blame me when every fear I have about this is justified?”

You really should have kept those elsewhere, not your open, public living room.

“Because it’s us. I’m always here for you.” He was still crying through broken words and you didn’t know why. Almost like you had shattered his resolve and his control leaving with it.

“Not lately. You’ve been otherwise occupied.” Suddenly find the plant in the corner of the room. It certainly weren’t trying to distract yourself from the insatiable cerulean eyes.

The breathtaking british woman wasn’t even here and as soon as she was brought up — there was a wall. Seperating, you from whatever was between the two of you.

“This isn’t my fault. You never said anything. How was I supposed to know you feel that way about me?” He tried to make his way towards you but you just stalked off in the other direction. Circling around the living room like a coward.

“It didn’t matter though, did it? You found someone perfect for you regardless of how you feel.” God, you wish he would just leave so you could let the dam break.

“No. You don’t get to do that. Since the moment I met you I only had eyes for you, but you never seemed like you were interested. So, I dropped it. Okay? You never left me a crumb to think you would ever want to be more than just friends.”

“You were my best friend. You still are. No matter how I felt, it could never outweigh the need I have for you to be in my life.” He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. Trying to figure out what was next for the both of you. Steve always had to initiate and this time was no different.

“Peggy told me tonight she wants to be exclusive.” His confession washing over you like a ton of bricks. Crushing you.

You really couldn’t have any ill feeling towards her, she was just doing what you lacked the courage and the tenacity to do.

“But I didn’t really know what to do.” He took quiet steps towards you, not wanting to spook you. He voice not no longer held the a warmth of teddy bear, but a man on a mission rather took over.

Steve kept quiet until he had you backed up into a corner, no escape route in vision for you.

“’Cause there’s this other beautiful woman, absolutely breathtaking — and I just I really needed to know how she felt. If I had known before,  I never would have gone anywhere else.” His hand caressing your soft, plump lips. Pulling on your bottom lip with his thumb, sending you into a frenzy.

“Then, I just wanted to forget about everything until Sam called me. Three beers deep, when he told me of a drawer filled with letters I should take a look at.” You could feel his breath on you, temple pressed against yours.

“I just need to hear you say it. Just once.” Taking it a step forward, intertwining your finger with his own.

“I love you.” It was all he needed as he sealed his own affirmation with a sweet kiss, inking your lips with all of his love.

[winterandwords]

It looks like my brain is taking some time off doing things with words. This honestly almost never happens. I'm ✨obsessive✨ about writing to the point where it often sometimes becomes A Problem™

So, this used to drive me crazy with frustration. I'm a very push-through-it kind of person. This is also A Problem™ and one that I'm actively working on for reasons of physical and mental health. Before, I would admonish myself for not trying hard enough, force myself to do the thing, be utterly miserable, and ultimately end up despising every fucking word I wrote when my mind and my heart weren't in it.

Now I'm trying this new thing where I don't do that and I think about how I got here. I've been working on Project Frequency non-stop for a while, even though I didn't fully intend to get stuck into it just yet. I published a short fiction collection on my website. I finished the last revision on Project Storm way sooner than planned after it came back from my editing folks (still needs proofread, but sooooooon!).

Within the last few weeks, I also started creating regular writing-related content for Instagram, which has included making artsy fartsy microfiction videos where I read things with my own fucking voice OMG. This is legit one of my favourite forms of creative expression right now and I'm learning so much. I gathered three years' worth of microfiction into categories for future posts. And I completely overhauled my entire website.

My mental health has been not amazing. OK, that's a massive understatement. My mental health has been an explosive catastrophic disaster because of stuff relating to serious trauma that I don't want to talk about here. I fell apart in a full-on breakdown kind of way, which is not something I do very often because I live in a perpetual state of denial and dissociation and like to pretend I don't because it makes me feel like I've got my shit together better than I really do.

I contacted a trauma support centre that specialises in the very specific context of my trauma. I realised I wasn't ready to go through that whole process yet and cancelled the initial outreach assessment. Then I felt like a weak piece of shit and hated myself a bit. Then my close family and a very good friend helped me understand that this was an act of self-care and boundary setting and sometimes first steps have to be taken a number of times. So it's OK. Sort of. And I'm doing way better at dealing with the mess in my head with the support of people who love me. And I'm extremely lucky to have those people.

My chronic illness/disability stuff has been a pile of fuckery too, but the more manageable kind of fuckery. Except I've been really struggling with mobility aids lately because I'm basically going in cycles of fucking up my lower body by not using them, then fucking up my upper body by using them. So I found a truly epic rollator/wheelchair hybrid (swear to god, this thing is cyberpunk AF) that is everything I need and actually possible for me to operate even when my stupid hands are being stupid, and now we're trying to work out how to afford it and hopefully I'll be able to get it within the next few months.

Now that I type all that out, I'm not quite so much like "Why am I not feeling creative right now? It's a mystery!" I am burned the fuck out and profoundly exhausted on every level. And I'm doing that new thing I mentioned at the top of this post. I'm accepting it. And I'm letting myself rest. And I think it's good.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in and say hi and I miss you all and I'm still lurking even if I'm not posting as much. Love love love. PS. Sorry if I've missed any tags lately. Please keep tagging me. I don't usually suck this bad at keeping up <3

[waywardrose]

On Babbushka

There is a group of well-known writers in the fandom who have been discouraged and put down by one of their own, Zannah - @babbushka​. It happens behind the scenes in DMs. It happens in posts and tags.

In DMs, she has started conversations with seemingly innocent questions. When she doesn't receive the response she was aiming for, she diverts the conversation to criticizing and humiliating the person. She has attacked writers for tagging—or not tagging—a post in a way she deems appropriate. She has gotten into arguments over how characters were portrayed and then tried to claim victimization when the other person wouldn't knuckle under.

She will appeal to her following to attack any fan or creator who has an opinion that differs from her own. She will encourage friends to send rude anons. Those same friends will also DM the target with rude remarks.

Several creators have stopped writing altogether because of their interactions with her.

We are tired of being discouraged. We are tired of being talked down to. We are tired of being bullied. Enough is enough. Under the cut we share our stories, let the chips fall where they may. It's up to you, the reader, to decide whether to support her.

We can only warn up-and-coming writers, artists, fans, and supporters of her behavior.

-

Hope - @callmehopeless

The Australian bushfires of the 2019-2020 season were nightmarish—for those living through it and those witnessing. As the season went on, cries for help increased. Joaquin Phoenix used the time during his Best-Actor acceptance speech at the Golden Globes to call for unity, action, and accountability. Regardless of what we may think of him, it was a thoughtful speech.

Hope, who is an Australian, found Mr. Phoenix's message encouraging and reblogged a gifset of his speech.

That morning, Zannah made a post about Mr. Phoenix's shady past and his association with a known sexual predator. The main reason wasn't because his speech was inappropriate or not timely, but because she didn't think he should be the one to get the attention over other actors who had spoken of the bushfires during the Golden Globes.

While Hope confessed she was scared of the bushfires, scared for her loved ones, Zannah was more concerned with purity. To Zannah it was about the face of the message, not the message itself. It didn't matter that Mr. Phoenix was amplifying support for Australia, what did matter was that he had done bad things.

It was virtue signaling on Zannah's part.

Still, this remains a complicated argument. Can a person who has done bad things actually have something positive to add to a cause? Should we listen to a problematic person if they share an insight? Does it reflect poorly on us to agree with their isolated statement? Will we be canceled, too? What about the bigger picture?

In this case, the bigger picture was hundreds of homes were destroyed in the bushfires and families were displaced. People died, thousands of animals died. And it was because of climate change. Mr. Phoenix called for his rich peers to examine their respective lifestyles and to give back.

Yes, Mr. Phoenix has done bad things. Yes, he has associated with people who have done bad things. His words resonated with people on Tumblr, and they reblogged part of his speech. He said something that gave Hope hope.

Hope was asked by a third party how they could help. She came back with a resource guide for those who wanted to send aid to Australians.

When it became obvious Zannah wouldn't silence Hope, Zannah decided to sub-post about the interaction. There, she accused Hope of being a rape apologist for reblogging a gifset and finding a little comfort in it. Zannah placed her ego before someone who was facing a very real danger.

Side-eying an actor is one thing, shaming a person you know for finding solace during a scary time is another. Hope isn't responsible for which voice got picked up. The only "colors" being shown here are Zannah's. She put her own concerns about being perceived as morally pure above actually supporting a friend.

I'll keep this brief - I knew Zannah for many years. And on one of the lowest weeks of my life, when my suburb was burning down and I feared for my family: she convinced me I was a rape apologist for sharing Joaquin Phoenix's speech asking for action on bushfires. In all my life, I never felt more alone. To add insult to injury, she then posted memes mocking me - something that has stuck with me to this day.

I've had dear friends quit the fandom because of her kinkshaming. I've had people I love message me distraught over what she's said.

Enough is enough.

— @callmehopeless

-

Rose - @the-wayward-rose​

This PM exchange started after I tagged my reblog of Zannah's fic Feast (Cameron Bistle x Reader) with cw: white reader. I had been on her taglist, and I wanted to show support because I liked the fic overall. For context, the reason for my tag is because of this sentence:

"But then you're blushing so pretty and squeezing his hand affectionately and reaching for the handle to the passenger side of his car, and then you're laughing when he swats your hand away to open it for you, and then you're beckoning him down as if to ask a question – only to place a chaste kiss to his lips instead."

This is from Cameron's point of view.

She asked the reason for the tag, and I explained it was because of the use of "blush" to describe Reader's appearance.

She misunderstood my premise. I did not mean only white people blush.

According to Merriam-Webster, blush means "a reddening of the face especially from shame, modesty, or confusion" or "a red or rosy tint."

It is an autonomic response, though. It happens in all humans for body cooling and nonverbal communication. The main problem with using it universally is that melanin obscures the appearance of said autonomic response.

Here's an example of three runners:

The two pale women, left and center, are pink in the face. They are blushing. The woman of color on the right is likely blushing, too. However, the melanin in her skin obscures the blood in her cheeks. She is not pink.

That's the pitfall of the word "blush." The observer can't always see it. We know what it feels like. We all do it. The face and/or neck gets hot. The use of "blush" is shorthand in narrative, and I understand that. Nevertheless, when writing to cater to a reader-insert audience of unknown heritage, writers need to consider describing with universal terms.

Again, she misunderstood my premise. I clarified by asking how Cameron sees the Reader blush under an abundance of melanin:

She sidestepped the physiological explanation to go straight for justification. She tried to legitimize "blush" as "perhaps [this]" or "perhaps [that]" when I stated earlier that blush by definition is pink or is to redden. That's the logic. A noncommittal, covering-all-the-bases, complicated defense diluted the conversation.

With her earlier "I have friends of color, hence I can't be exclusionary" statement, I wasn't sure she would get my point. I take full responsibility for not explaining, too. I should've asked for some time to gather my thoughts, but I didn't. Truthfully, I was unprepared, because I didn't think my insignificant tag would be an issue.

Also, I was confused why she was trying to police my blog.

Her replies came rapidly—before I could mention my confusion—and felt aggressive in the moment. Maybe that wasn't her intention, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

That doesn't take away from the fact that words have meaning. It's why we use specific words. It's not understood in the narrative that her use of "blush" could mean a bunch of things. If I had known, I wouldn't have tagged as I did. How is a reader of color supposed to know that? How does Cameron see Reader's blush if she has darker skin?

As writers, we don't know who is reading. Someone could be very pale or very dark. A person with medium-toned skin can turn a shade of pink or red. A person with darker-toned skin will not. We can't assume all readers are medium to pale. We need to develop better writing skills. We have to include everyone.

Readers of color > White-writer feelings

When I stood my ground, she doubled down, stating I made no sense in my tagging and that I lacked the ability to learn from her. She then diverted the argument, attacking a ficlet I wrote a few days beforehand—which had nothing to do with this argument. The Christian imagery in that ficlet was upsetting to her and "in such poor taste" because she headcanons Flip Zimmerman (BlacKkKlansman) is 100% culturally and ethnically Jewish.

Flip stated in the movie:

"I'm Jewish, but I wasn't raised to be. It wasn't part of my life. I never thought much about being Jewish. Nobody around me was Jewish. I wasn't going to a bunch of Bar Mitzvahs. I didn't have a Bar Mitzvah. I was just another white kid. And now I'm in some basement denying it out loud[...] I never thought much about it. Now I'm thinking about it all the time. About rituals and heritage. Is that passing? Well then, I have been passing."

By his own admission, Flip is ethnically Jewish, but not culturally. These are two separate things, and that should be recognized. While Judaism is ethnically and culturally entwined in ways that other religions are not, one does not equate the other. You can be one and not the other.

At the time, I didn't want her to sic her 3000+ followers on me. I wasn't going to argue further. I asked myself if the ficlet was important and worth anon-hate and realized, no, it wasn't. It was a throw-away.

And since I'm not culturally Jewish, maybe I had misstepped. And since Zannah is both culturally and ethnically Jewish, I asked for her guidance.

She flatly refused my request. I don't know how I was supposed to learn from her if she wouldn't teach me.

It sounded as if she wanted me to delete the whole fic. Like none of it was worth saving because it hadn't been Zannah-approved. I had gone against her headcanon, and the fic was too offensive to fix.

The last sentence was supposed to cover her back from criticism, and it placed all the responsibility on me. Obviously, she was above such petty concerns as someone else's blog or writing. Never mind that she had just attempted to get me to change my tagging system and rewrite my ficlet. On my blog.

Later, I figured out she was only criticizing and not offering a constructive critique. Her argument was not in good faith. It was retaliation for not giving her the obedience she thought she was owed.

This is the passage that offended her:

"It’s because of the way he fucks you. Like it’s confession—though he’s never been much of a church-going man. Every touch, every thrust, is a truth between you. Even when it’s rough and greedy. It feels like flagellation when you claw his back. He wears the sin proudly."

This is what I edited it to:

"It’s because of the way he fucks you. Every touch, every thrust, is a truth between you. Even when it’s rough and greedy. It feels like flagellation when you claw his back. He wears your marks proudly."

Yeah, I'm not pleased with the revised passage. It's lost its teeth, but I keep it.

The anonymous message(s) she mentioned weren't very anonymous, either. Unfortunately, I've since deleted the two messages. I had apologized to Anon for disappointing them. I said that if the fic was too much, they should unfollow and block me. I meant that in a self-care way. At the same time, I did not—and do not—owe anyone discourse. I don't have to explain my art when it doesn't hurt anyone. And no one was hurt by some purportedly misplaced religious imagery.

I have been silent about this since late January/early February. I was embarrassed. I had been bullied into changing my blog and my fic by someone who proclaims to never do anything of the sort. I had been a fool. Since this conversation with her, I have been blocked/blacklisted by third-parties, most likely at her behest, when none of this exchange had been necessary.

-

Kassanovella - @kylorengarbagedump​​

Zannah's followers have asked her about Kassanovella’s Fix Your Attitude. For context, it's currently one of the most kudo-ed fics for Kylo Ren x Reader on AO3. It had a bit of a renaissance earlier in 2020 because a TikToker wrote a song for it.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to read a fic. If the subject matter doesn't work for a reader, they don't have to partake. Easy as that. So, these tags aren't a problem.

However, it led to this...

She lashed out, calling Kassanovella's fic a joke. A joke.

She implied her fics should be as popular as Kassanovella's because she works really hard on them. She admitted she's tied to the metrics. She implied she wouldn't be writing fic if not for the external validation.

Here's the thing about fanfic: readers like what they like. They don't care about a writer's effort. They only know what works for them. They comment and give kudos, reblog and like what they connect with. That is not under the writer's control. All a writer can do is try their best and concentrate on what they're passionate about.

To bash another writer's fic because it's popular is disrespectful. This whole bitter rant drips of entitlement and is an affront to Kassanovella.

Some time later, an incident happened in a chatroom during a streaming event for veterans by Arts In the Armed Forces (Adam Driver's organization). At least one fan brought up Fix Your Attitude while waiting for Mr. Driver to make an appearance. They were also disrespectful towards the other presenters by demanding to see Mr. Driver. It caused a big stink within the fandom, and Zannah had some choice words.

While mentioning the fic during the livestream was inappropriate, it was also inappropriate to throw all fans of the fic under the bus as she did in her tag. Sweeping generalizations and incriminations of a subset of fans certainly reads as if she resents those fans for a perceived slight.

Next, Zannah made an earlier disparaging comment about Kassanovella's fic, Little Bird. Unfortunately, that comment is lost. However, the messages supporting the comment remain. (For context, Little Bird is a Kylo Ren x Reader The Handmaid's Tale AU. It has been well received in the fandom, earning thousands of kudos on AO3.)

What an author wants to write about and sexualize is their business. Fantasizing about being dominated by Kylo Ren isn't cringe. It's a sexual fantasy. Some sexual fantasies can be disturbing to those who do not share the same kink.

Sexual fantasies are like ice cream. There's a reason why there are different flavors.

Also, "I will never ever be a person that tells an author what to do or not do" is an absolute lie. As evident in this post, Zannah most definitely tells authors what to do or not do.

Again, she bashes Kassanovella, claiming her writing isn't good. Her motivation for bashing Kassanovella can only be speculation. With Zannah's previously stated opinion of Fix Your Attitude, though, it indicates a certain level of negative emotions.

-

Anonymous

An anonymous person came forward with a case of Zannah policing their blog. Anon has a sideblog for their personal AU with Flip Zimmerman. They reblog gifsets and post headcanons. They were an enthusiastic fan of Zannah's and reblogged a few of the gifset she made. Anon tagged their reactions, and Zannah blocked them for it.

Anon went to Zannah and asked why they were blocked, because all they wanted to do was have fun and support fellow Flip lovers.

Anon was under the impression that because they were shipping themselves, and not Zannah, with Flip, she blocked them. Their personal AU doesn't align with Zannah's headcanon that she alone is married to this character and has his children.

While Zannah's reply may sound innocent, and perhaps it is, it also speaks to someone who has set herself up as the owner of Flip Zimmerman. (Wait until Spike Lee or the real Ron Stallworth hears about that...) It appears that if a fan does not comply with the Zannah-approved headcanon, where only she is married to Flip, that fan shall be blocked. If a fan uses tags on their blog that she does not approve of, that fan will be blocked.

Zannah's policing is disturbing. Going into a blog to look for something as a reason to block is disturbing. Any fan is allowed to use any tag on their blog how they wish. If the OP has said their post can be reblogged, how a reblogger tags is beyond the OP's control. To punish that reblogger for not behaving in a way she finds acceptable is uncalled for and unjust.

-

Anonymous

Backstory: Zannah does not view Ben Solo's arc in the Star Wars sequel trilogy as acceptable canon. However, she does view the story she created for Flip Zimmerman in BlacKkKlansman as completely canon.

This is not the first time she has been asked to clarify her position. Nor is it the first time she has avoided giving an on-topic response. A question asked in good faith should be responded to in kind.

If a creator doesn't want to address the issue, they can state that they don't. Deflecting from the question only muddies the waters. Fans feel dismissed. The creator feels hounded, and comes across as irritated and unapproachable. No one has a positive fandom experience.

There is nothing wrong with having a headcanon. What is wrong is Zannah mandating her headcanon for Flip on the whole fandom. As evident in this post, if a fan does not comply with her headcanon, they will be summarily blocked.

Also, there is nothing wrong with rejecting canon. Writers of transformative works have always done this. The problem is shaming fans who have accepted canon while not offering justification for that shaming. A creator saying they "can't help them" is the creator washing their hands of responsibility from articulating their thoughts when they themselves began criticizing the canon in the first place.

Again, this is a bad-faith argument. Creators can't ask for discussion and attention and then get mad when their viewpoints are challenged. Just because a discussion isn't going a creator's way doesn't mean it's an attack, either. It means people want clarification, and if one criticizes, they should be able to back up their criticisms.

-

While sharing our stories has been freeing, it's not our aim as fellow fans to cancel Zannah. We would hope she would take the opportunity to reflect on the damage she has done to the fandom. We hope we all can move forward with a more approachable and supportive scene.

No one person speaks for our fandom. The actions of one fan do not represent the entire fandom. Whether creator or consumer, you are welcome here.

[posted July 25, 2020]

[thegeminisage]

hi, sorry for answering you both so late, i am putting your answers together since they are sort of related!

the short answer is, i can’t write a “real” sequel to broken road but the third part of the triptych would be the indirect dean/cas spiritual sequel, except with way more porn. the long answer is:

i just don't think i could write a true direct sequel to broken road set in that same continuity because i don't have anything left to say about john and how he gets along in the real with his family world now that he’s stuck there and they’re all stuck with each other. my main three points of interest that i felt were left unresolved would be the continuation of dean and cas's relationship (more on this in a sec), sam and eileen (ditto), and figuring out if john and mary ever made it work or called it quits for good. so if i wrote a sequel to broken road it would just be a bunch of john/mary stuff that i feel underqualified for because it WOULD involve their sex life and i DO NOT want to write john having sex. them fucking offscreen in broken road was as close as i'm ever getting and even that was weird. and then somehow i’d also have to work sam and eileen into that and it’s not at all related. it would take two fics and i don’t even want to write one. also, i really kind of want to leave the question of john and mary open anyway - i have my own thoughts about how things ultimately end up but i prefer to let the reader imagine what ending they like best, since people have such strong feelings about it. i know that's a little bit of a cop-out and i'm sorry! but it feels beyond the scope of that fic and also a little beyond my scope and area of interest as a writer.

if it helps you any, i imagine going forward their dynamic is a lot like it is in the epilogue, which is part of why i made the epilogue so long, was to give you a good idea of what life is like for them now. but here’s what i imagine might go down after the final curtain call (this is LONG, skip to the section labeled “dean” for the triptych answer):

john & mary: 

john continues to suffer and bite his tongue and probably do a lot of complaining and DEFINITELY do a lot of avoiding being alone with dean or cas or dean-and-cas. john was expecting to retire after yellow eyes died so he really wouldn't know what to do with a family that still hunts for "no reason" and i imagine he'd be pretty pissed that they still hunt at all. i expect he and sam would butt heads over that

mary would probably keep attempting to be supportive and keep being bad at it, and spend a lot of time trying to put a brave face on it while secretly dying inside, because she's constantly at war with herself. here she has john back, but not the john she remembers, and spending time with him is difficult because she wants to let herself have him and take comfort in him and also she doesn't want to be anywhere near him because he abused their kids

eventually mary or john or both would have to leave, though mary would come back - in canon she's in and out a lot anyway, she stays for awhile and visits regularly for game nights. i think john would miss the first game night, get one "seriously?" text from mary, and then show back up every week that he possibly could but also not visit unless it would make things worse if he didn't. i don't think he particularly enjoys spending time with his family for a long time, if ever, because much like season 12 mary he came back to a family he barely knew or recognized (and because of what he knows now spending time with dean would be particularly awkward). HIS sons would be getting married to women and retiring and having biological children. this gay adoptive whatever the fuck makes them feel like they are not his sons. 

anyway, i imagine john and mary would do much better when running into one another outside of the bunker, on their own separate hunts. they might even take one or two together. there’s probably some very guilty sex in their future at some point because mary is real fucked up. john post broken road does a lot of shutting up but i think around mary he would be the most like his old self. they do this will they/won't they dance for the next decade at least before finally making up their minds one way or the other. i do think they all still go on hunts together sometimes, maybe even with the apocalypse world hunters, and since that's sam's deal john is probably kind of quiet and falls in line and does what's needed without chatting much to anyone. i bet the first few times people don't even realize he's sam's father because he's so quiet. it's his way of trying to apologize to sam and also if he steps out of line when sam is in charge sam would <3 deck him. yes. but yeah i see it being very brisk and professional and awkward, until they all get used to each other again

sam: 

as i said earlier the only thing i didn't fix in broken road was eileen, so at some point sam would figure out a way to get her back - since in this verse jack never becomes soulless and chuck never returns and we never get season 15 it's possible she shows back up because she didn't go with her reaper, or because someone fucked up a summoning spell, or sam realized she was in hell and decided to spring her, or she just crawled out on her own like a badass. i think it would be kind of funny if john was involved with her resurrection but maybe accidentally somehow, so it's not like oh sam learns to forgive his dad because john did this really nice thing for him it's more like UGH why did it have to be YOU why are YOU involved in this important thing that has nothing to do with you slkdjfghl but also if you hadn't done it she'd still be down there or something, so, it cancels out. or idk maybe john had to work hard at it or give something up to make it happen. he has to genuinely shut up and be selfless and not fucking complain and feel sorry for himself the entire time, that might be fun too. either way sam would not thank him

(though i do think sam deserves space to explore the fact that he loves john even still, even despite the fact that he also hates him/is very angry with him and always will be. i don’t imagine sam and john ever fully reconcile but i imagine john behaving BECAUSE OF SAM SPECIFICALLY offers sam more catharsis than he thought possible.) 

anyway, john would be so relieved to see sam with a woman even if she is a deaf hunter but then it turns out she hates him like sam does so like. sucks to be him! meanwhile sam and eileen get to catch up and he finally has a willing ear (so to speak) that isn’t cas or mary to talk to about this stuff and of course SHE has someone who very much understands what it’s like to come back from hell. part of what i really love about sam and eileen is the way they sort of instantly and intrinsically recognized and understood one another, even across something that resembles a language barrier, and this hypothetical future would be no exception. there’s no way they don’t get engaged inside a year, and much like in the 15.18 fixit they’d sometimes hang at the bunker and sometimes not. i imagine with the apocalypse world hunters going in and out though it’s never exactly empty or lonely there. 

whether or not their family unit ever retires and/or moves out of the bunker in this verse is sort of beyond me because my feelings on it change daily but you can imagine whatever you like! however i am adamant that the furthest away from each other sam and dean will ever get permanent-living-situation-wise is next door/across-the-street neighbors. their weird little codependency is part of what i like about them and i have a Whole Thing about not “gentrifying” dean. but for the most part sam would be very much doing his own thing which involves john very little, and healing from his own damage with people OUTSIDE of his blood relatives which he very much deserves. and he has moved so completely past the need to care about john that like john is a backdrop in his life, albeit one with baggage. but mostly he becomes someone to keep an eye on in case he makes trouble, no different than a hundred other surly hunters sam’s known. and he can still be there for dean without his life revolving around dean because now dean has other people there for him too. (i ALSO have a whole thing about sam being in the life for dean specifically, that he’s giving up some or all of adulthood for dean because dean gave up childhood for him - kind of the way someone takes care of their kickass single mom in old age. it’s a guilt/love/debt/devotion sort of thing.) 

and speaking of the Eventual future, if babies ever come into this picture (sam and eileen’s, to be clear, dean and cas are probably satisfied with jack, NOT THAT JACK ISN’T ALSO SAM’S CHILD) john is allowed to see them but never unsupervised. i’m picturing like sam and eileen both on their third day of no sleep and sam lets john change a diaper because he’s exhausted and john considers that the best their relationship has been since sam was 6. mary always wanted to raise babies and sam likes her better so she’d get to pitch in with much more enthusiasm (and aw they’d finally get to bond a little more), and dean has raised a baby already so he’d probably try to like help and get waved away a lot like no no raising other peoples babies is no longer your job it’s ok. there is eventually a fight about this

cas & jack: 

castiel lives a great life caring for his newly re-graced son and staring at john when he enters or leaves rooms, and i imagine eventually jack gives him his wings back, since he can do whatever the fuck he wants (i'm not giving jack his own section but he also probably keeps acknowledging dean and cas are a couple like out loud which would be fine except for dean is still half in the closet like a skittish traumatized cat so eventually cas would have to explain very gently that nobody was supposed to know that yet and jack should cool it to give dean time to adjust)

anyway i DON’T believe in human cas, i believe he likes being an angel, so he just gets to stay an angel forever and now he has wings too <3 and he can teleport which spooks john in the exact same manner it used to spook dean in s4 <3 except this time cas is being <3 malicious on purpose <3

cas fully won here because like john does NOT want to speak to or acknowledge him much less be in the same room as him so they tend to have a dynamic where like all 6 of them are in the room and cas dean sam mary and jack all talk to each other and john dean sam mary and jack all talk to each other but cas and john do not talk to each other. cas doesn’t have to threaten him or glare at him constantly anymore like all he has to do is look at him. and john is like. man what’s he gonna do. that guy is having sex with your son and there’s nothing you can do about it! so dean doesnt have to be like ok cool it cas anymore because cas has literally won in every possible way. i think at most it’s very much cas being like “if i were trying to kill you, you’d know it <3″ and john can’t return those vibes to sender because then dean would be like ok cool it at his DAD instead. it used to be cas don’t piss off dad and now it’s dad don’t piss off cas. anyway i think that since cas has let dean lean on him so much it would be nice if he could lean on dean a little. again more on that in a minute

dean: 

and finally, as for dean...i think he needs a year minimum to dean with people acknowledging he and cas are a couple and another 3 for it not to be weird to say cas’s name in front of his dad. absolutely zero pda in front of john ever but he might like eventually get to the place where he and cas can lounge around together on the couch while they watch movies with the rest of fam and it’s not a big deal. sneak an arm around him at a movie theater. kind of the same vibes as the 15.18 fixit but with less anxiety. because like the worst possible thing (getting outed to everyone) has already happened and aside from the outing itself being completely horrible nothing that terrible even came to pass as a result, so he’s just Adjusting. i think he sort of has to unlearn and relearn his habits - his mediator thing, his defending dad thing. i think there’s a lot of times where he just walks out of a room when shit is too much for him to deal with because he has let go of some of the need to constantly micromanage his family’s interactions to make sure they don’t boil over. michael already took that scenario to the max and mary already dumped john so there’s really not much left to be afraid of. i think he gets told “that’s not your job” a lot and maybe listens more than he used to. and to bring us around to the second question...

i also think dean would get weirdly hung up on the fact that he and cas’s sex life is Not Normal - as in, they fooled around a little and that was it. i think dean would have a huge problem with that. like, obviously he has A Few Hangups About Gay Sex given his history but if you’re a couple you’re supposed to bang on the regular and it’s totally homophobic if he doesn’t bang cas as much as he’d bang a lady he was committed to, right? he’s not gonna give cas less than he gave cassie or lisa, that’s not fair to his best buddy and number one pal! 

meanwhile castiel, known asexual, is utterly and wildly neutral to the whole idea except that it’s a way to be close to dean. cas would be just as happy fucking like champions for a six-hour marathon or spending that same six hours curled up in bed together while he plays with dean’s hair. like, same diff. you know that thing about like “cas thinks everything is important he gives the same gravitas to the apocalypse and a nine year old’s birthday party”? like it’s exactly like that with sex and cuddling and sharing a meal together and driving together and watching dumb movies like it’s all time spent With Dean so it all matters just as much.

so we have this conflict where dean is tearing himself apart over the fact that he’s taking a normal human amount of time to “work up” to the whole thing and cas is like. but it’s fine. it’s literally fine. and dean’s reaction to this would be something very offended like hello excuse me i am super hot and fuckable and you don’t WANT me?

if this all sounds familiar that’s because i’ve written similar stuff to it before! if you go to the fic page for broken road, you'll see it's part of a series now (the "triptych"), with my dumb little 15.18 fixit as the prequel. even though continuity-wise these are two totally separate fics i feel very strongly that that fic is the spiritual prequel to broken road, and eventually, a long time from now, after the next @cambionverse​ fic is done or at the very least well underway, i'd like to write a spiritual sequel. a triptych is three works that stand on their own but also make a more complete whole, so even though these three stories would not be related at all in continuity of where they take place in canon, they each set the stage at a different part of the dean/cas relationship. so fic #1, the get-together, had no sex at all, and it was very short. fic #2, pre-established but just barely, had a little sex in it and it was very long. fic #3 then would be pre-established but like VERY pre-established and have a fuckton of sex in it, and be medium length. i’m ha ha basically writing my own nc-17 porn coda since SOMEBODY won’t do it for me (if you got that joke you’re entitled to financial compensation). 

except i actually really do want to tackle this subject myself, it’s stuff i only got to touch on in the other fics because it felt off topic, so in this fic it WOULD be the topic! i really found a groove i like with cas who has almost no trauma around sex but doesn’t care whether or not he has it vs dean who really really wants to have sex but has a minefield of past bad experiences he has to watch out for. and i like writing porn anyway and i didn’t get to write very much these past two fics. i’ve always said that i think dean would snowball (not like that, gross) - it’d take him FOREVER (literally a decade plus) to work up to kissing cas but a fraction of that time to start fooling around with him and a fraction of THAT time to blow him etc etc. the more he does the easier it gets. i feel like it’d be a lot of fun to write. 

so, this third fic would not be an official broken road sequel, because there’s almost no plot outside of the porn to speak of anyway, but if what you wanted was to see how the dean/cas went from where it left off, hopefully that will be satisfying in that regard.

i should say, while the third fic would be almost exclusively porn there is one plot element involving ********** that i am not going to talk about on tumblr because it would ruin the surprise. i have told a few people privately and i will tell you if we know each other pretty well but if you know (or guess) don’t tell anyone! 

see, the other thing i would want to tackle in that fic is how cas has his own traumas and baggage, even if they’re a little different from dean’s, and i think dean sometimes gets so deep in his own stuff he kind of...not forgets that exactly but forgets how profoundly it still affects cas, because by and large cas deals with that sort of thing a lot more quietly and in much healthier ways than dean does. not that his self-sacrificing ass is the poster child for mental health, but for example cas recognized suicidal ideation in himself and actively worked to keep himself away from situations that would make it worse. he translates his bad feelings into meaningful action (well, he attempts to, even if it usually goes wrong). so he hurts kind of quietly and in late season especially most of the worst moments of his life are behind him (barring jack’s death, which doesn’t happen in this verse). so he’s also further along in his healing process which mean dean kind of forgets how fucked in the head he can be. and in the uh...unusual situation...they find themselves in because of this minor plot, it becomes something that he can’t not notice, that they can’t just not talk about, and cas gets to lean on dean a little, they sort of get to know each other better. so that’s part of the point of that one little plot element. but the rest of it really is porn.

i haven’t started work on the third fic yet - i don’t have a title and my outline is just a bunch of choppy ideas and i have about 2000 words of the middle of the fic jotted down out of context. (it was originally going to be a shorter unrelated thing before i realized how well it tied to what i already had.) i have another obligation to see to before i can get started on it (again, @cambionverse​, you should read it if you havent, the concept might sound unappealing but almost everyone who tries it likes it and it’s way better than broken road). so it’ll probably happen a very VERY long time from now! but it IS happening. >:) i just hope after the first two fics in the triptych were so well received that it doesn’t disappoint 🥺

[literaetures]

Your tags on that post about friendship just made me tear up a little. It’s been a constant struggle for me in the past year since I cut off all of my old friends who I never could be myself with. And since then I’ve had no one, like the only people I talk to or hang out with are my sisters. And I’m so grateful I have them but god I am constantly reminded of the fact that I have no friends and I’m really lonely. I just have this vision of one day being surrounded by people who see me and love me and who I can feel fully comfortable around, and I hold onto the hope that one day it will come true but I’m so scared it won’t.

i completely get that— none of my friends from high school stuck around with me after we graduated, and finding people in undergrad was a huge battle bc 1.) how do you meet people in this sea of nothing but people? and 2.) how do you find people that actually want to be with you and care about you? and even when i moved to go to grad school, i still couldn’t figure out how to befriend people in my program and find a little community that i could feel comfortable in or that people wanted me in

i’m still lonely in so many ways (like all my friends living in different cities or states or even online friends in different countries— in addition to the general pain of no one wanting to be my friend or caring about me growing up that still carries with me) but even through all those different waves in my life, all those different stages that felt static or were moving too fast or for the longest time just feeling like a ghost in any space i occupied (present but never seen, always hovering, too shy to make myself known or put myself out there, etc.) i still! somehow! found friends! 

and yes many of those friends didn’t stick around (people grow and move on or realize your interests don’t line up anymore or you realize you were only friends out of convenience rather than actual care) but! you will find people that click with you! and care about you! and maybe even find the things other people saw as annoying or “too much” as their absolute favorite aspects of you! you will find people who go out of their way to send a “thinking about you! miss you!” text at 2am or 9am or send you snaps of some flowers that reminded them of you or some movie/song/tv show/etc. that they think you would like! you will find people that care about you and not just what you can provide for them. you will find people that might say “sorry for being bad about staying in touch but i just wanted to tell you i think about you! let’s talk soon!” you will find people who will willingly drag you out on a saturday and invite you to dinner or movies or coffee even if you’ve had to cancel for one reason or another every other time and they won’t get tired of asking you (in non-pandemic times). you will find people who will talk to you and suddenly three hours have passed by and it will have felt like no time at all. you will find people you can truly feel comfortable being around, like being around them is as easy as blinking

and i’m telling you this because i found that when i never, ever, thought i’d ever be able to find that even briefly. even for a second. and maybe some people don’t stick around and those waves of loneliness still hit you, but what’s helped me is reflecting on our time together— however long or brief it might have been— and glad that their presence impacted my life in some way however small it may have been. i believe it will happen. and i believe it will continue to happen as people move on and grow in their own individual lives, you will find people who you needed to meet in that specific moment in your life that wouldn’t have worked otherwise in some other moment, when you were some other person and before you had a chance to grow and change and experience the experiences needed to bring you together

you will be so loved. so so loved. it will find you in the loudest and the quietest moments in your life, but it will be there in different shapes and forms. people will be there for you, if not now, then eventually. and sometimes you won’t realize that you are surrounded by people just dying to be your friend, who are just as excited to know you and you are to know them, who have been working up the courage to make the first move or are too shy to initiate your friendship, and when they do, when you find those friends and grow and love each other, it will be like you can’t imagine how you didn’t know each other all your life. and you’re already surrounded by loved ones! whether it’s your family or friends irl or online or in huge communities— your presence is so valued and appreciated and i’m sure so many people cannot imagine their lives without you in it! we make impacts on people’s lives in both the biggest and smallest ways. and if that loneliness creeps in and you think it’s not there or it hasn’t found you yet, hold on. keep talking to people and don’t give up on yourself or your ability to find friendship. if it doesn’t feel here yet, it’s out there just waiting for you.

 i believe in you 💕

[sunsetinmyvein]

CLOSED (for now)

All right, all right, ALL RIGHT. PEOPLE. For the first time, I am taking requestsssss (so, let’s see if this goes well or not lol). @aphxsia‘s taking requests, @dot-writes is taking requests, everyone is taking them and I just felt a tad left out, y’know? I’ve chopped up a bunch of other prompt lists to throw together this lovely prompt list below at the suggestion of Dot. My general idea is: send me a character, and one prompt from the “dialogue” side as well as one prompt from the “context” side (or more if you have more that fit together in an idea, I suppose. But I need one of each to get a VibeTM) and Iiiiii’ll do my best to make it work within a character x OFC/Reader sorta thing. Oh, and send me an album era for added flair, if you’d like. Deets below the cut.

 I’ll write for:

-          The boys of Fall Out Boy

-          The boys of Panic! At the Disco (we’re talkin’ Ryan and Jon days)

-          The boys of The 1975

-          And, if you’re incredibly ambitious, also willing to give Alex Gaskarth of All Time Low a whirl

 Rules:

-          Can’t do smut (sorry, it’s just awkward and clunky for me to write and nobody wants that)

-          Won’t write characters under 18

-          Won’t write slash

-          I just kind of reserve the right to be like “I dunno what to do with this, sorry” (But I’ve curated this prompt list, so I should be okay lol)

-          I’ll get around to them when I get around to them - I’ll be writing them around The Radio Station being posted as well, so you won’t be starved for content.

  Dialogue:

·         “You’re not in love with them, are you?”

·         “I could literally strangle you right now and no one would stop me.”

·         “It’s not as bad as it looks.” - “You’re not very convincing.”

·         “You need to relax.” - “Relaxing is for the weak.”

·         “How long has it been since you’ve slept?” - “A week?”

·         “How the fuck are you still alive?” - “It’s a special talent of mine.”

·         “Can you please just listen to me for once?”

·         “I think this is a bad idea.” - “You think all of my plans are bad ideas.”

·         “You should really listen to me more.”

·         “Do I even want to know?”

·         “You have the cutest smile I’ve ever seen.”

·         “Just take care of yourself, okay?”

·         “Please don’t use cheesy pickup lines on me.”

·         “I like it when you’re romantic.”

·         “I’m going to be pissed if we get murdered.”

·         “How could I resist?”

·         “I’m sorry, I don’t speak dumbass.” - “Real mature.”

·         “You’re worth every scratch.”

·         “I could name about 110 things I love about you.” - “That’s oddly specific.”

·         “We can raise hell together.”

·         “Partners?”

·         “Don’t get too cocky now.”

·         “Fuck me.” - “Really?” - “No.”

·         “I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic.”

·         “Do you trust me?” - “Should I?”

·         “Do you have any idea on how frustrating you can really be?”

·         “I really, really want to kiss you right now.”

·         “I think we got off on the wrong foot.” - “You think so?”

·         “I don’t think that cancels out.” - “It does in my book.”

·         “You’re being dramatic.” - “I’m not being shit!”

·         “Take a break.” - “I don’t need it.” - “You look like a fucking zombie.”

·         “Then we’ll leave. Just you and me.”

·         “Do you need help? - “No… yes.”

·         “I hate you.” - “I love you too.”

·         “You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?”

·         “It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today.”

·         “No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

·         “Would it be too cliche if we matched clothes a little?”

·         “My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about how sometimes.”

·         “Wanna, like– I mean, if you’re not busy… We could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don’t have a lot of time?”

·         “Quit smiling at me, I can’t stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that.”

·         “What are you smiling about?”

·         “What’s in it for me?”

·         “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”

·         “You’re an idiot.” “But you love me.”

·         “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

·         “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”

·         “Are you blushing?”

·         “Your hair is really soft.”

·         “You’re really warm.”

·         “You owe me.” “Fine, whatever you like.”

·         “I love you.” “Tell me that when you’re sober.” 

·         “I wasn’t lying when I told you that I loved you.”

·         “It’s pouring rain why are you here?”

·         “Is that blood?” “Yes, but that doesn’t matter right now, what does matter is-” “You are literally bleeding.”

·         “Cheers, I’ll drink to that.” “You drink to everything.” “Cheers!”

·         “Why is there a deer in the room?” 

·         “Is that vodka? At 7 in the morning?”

·         “Wake me up when it’s over.” 

·         “Why is arson always your first answer?”

·         “Are you flirting with me?”

·         “Are they really ‘just a friend’?”

·         “Is there a reason you never say my first name?”

·         “Shh… listen… that’s the sound of me falling in love with you.”

·         “I have to tell you something really important and if I don’t tell you now, I won’t get the chance.”

·         “Whatever he’s saying, he’s lying!”

·         “I play a mean air guitar, if that’s what you’re asking.”

·         “I thought you knew?”

·         “We can, y’know, go together? If that’s a thing you’d like.”

 Context:

·         I remembered it was Valentine’s Day late on my way from work and the only place still open was McDonald’s, is bringing you a cheeseburger acceptable?

·         I accidentally punched you in the face when I was too overexcited about something

·         The library’s pretty empty save for you and me and, OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere

·         You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking you the fuck down

·         You give me a different fake name every time you come into this coffee shop and I just want to know your real name because you’re cute but here I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino

·         We live in the same block of flats but haven’t ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to stand in the lift together

·         “My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”

·         You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you

·         It’s my high school reunion and I need a hot date so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me

·         There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?

·         I wanted to go on the Ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go – oh, wait, are we stuck at the top? Fuck

·         It started to snow and I’m the only one of our friends who would go outside with you – I soon found out why none of the others would go out in the snow with you when you shoved a handful of snow down my back and declared snow war

·         It’s nowhere near Christmas it’s literally still November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the tree out – no, stop, please stop

·         You were waving at your friend behind me but I got confused and waved back at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you think it’s cute

·         I’m a waiter at this wedding and you’re a drunk guest who will not stop hitting on me please I’m trying to work no I can’t dance with you omg let me find you some water

·         You’re pretending to be your friend’s lover for the sake of the friend’s family. But, I’m their sibling. And I know you’re not dating.

·         You had an assigned seat next to them at a wedding for a mutual friend.

·         You accidentally sprayed them with yogurt when you opened the lid the wrong way.

·         They mistook your bowling ball for theirs in the shared ball return.

·         They caught you when you slipped on ice and nearly fell over.

·         Accidentally stepping on their heel in a crowded room.

·         Tripping while getting into your seat in the theatre and spilling your popcorn on them.

·         Accidentally opening a door on their face.

·         They cover the small amount of change you are short on for a purchase.

·         They see your ice cream drop to the ground and buy you a new one.

·         You walk out of a dressing room asking if the outfit suits you, but it’s not your friend waiting outside the room like you thought.

·         Sharing an umbrella at a bus stop as it rains.

·         You help catch their dog when the leash slips from their hand.

·         Texting the incorrect number but continuing the conversation.

·         Getting paired up on an amusement park that requires even numbered riders.

·         A friend of a friend needs a place to crash because they got evicted

·         You’re so sunburnt you can’t even more, do you need help?

·         I admit that sleeping on the beach wasn’t the smartest idea but someone buried me in sand please help me

·         I met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3am and when I asked you what the hell you were doing, you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet. Fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now. What the fuck is your name.

·         I always see you eat breakfast on the train and you always offer me some

·         I’m waiting for the train and the only open seat is on a bench next to you. Okay, sure, I’ll sit down next to the very cute person and I JUST SPILLED MY DRINK ALL OVER YOU I’M SO SORRY.

·         I don’t know you, but I fall asleep on the train every ride home and you always wake me up because we have the same stop, but we’ve never actually talked. Then one day you’re the one falling asleep and I got so excited for my comeuppance I made us get off at the wrong stop.

·         My cat steals underwear and I come home to find you chasing my cat to get your underwear back.

·         We’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad. Let me look after you

·         Did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

·         I beat you at Mario Kart and now I’ve been banished to the couch for the night

·         I’m calling to cancel our date because I’m actually in the ER right now, sorry. I mean… sure? I guess you can come down here but- okay…

·         I asked a staff member and they said you’ve been coming to the pound every day to play with the dog I’m taking home today and that’s why you’re getting weirdly emotional

·         It’s my turn to open up the café today and you were sleeping under one of the tables when I came in, and I don’t know what to say so I’m just awkwardly sweeping around you

·         I’m drunk on public transport and you’re high and we both keep looking at each other knowingly.

·         You’re mowing your lawn at 5am and that is completely unacceptable and I’m going over to your house to yell at you about how unacceptable that is.

·         It’s like 3am and my roommate locked me out of the house and I forgot my keys and I’m really drunk and please take pity on me and let me crash at your place for the night o’neighbour of mine

·         We decided it would be fun to go camping and now it’s raining and we can’t figure out how to set up the tent.

·         I know it’s probably poor taste to ask you out during your relative’s funeral but I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again, so…

·         It’s raining. I’m walking home in this downpour and have no umbrella. I’ve taken shelter on a random porch in the hopes that the rain will let up, but the door behind me had just opened

·         You’ve got a big, lush pool and I overheard you say you were going out of town, so I snuck over to use it but you came home early

·         You’re having a BBQ in your backyard and it smelled really good so I crashed the party

·         Not trying to make a scene here, but you took the last pool floatie and I want it

·         This is a big beach, why do you have to build that sandcastle right next to me?

·         You tried to grab the exact Halloween costume I want and it’s the last one and I want it.

·         I pranked the wrong person on accident, I’m so sorry I thought this was my friend’s car.

·         We just wanted to do one of these awful, fake ghost hunting shows but now shit is happening and we don’t know what to do.

·         I tried to take a shortcut and ended up stuck in this damn fence and you just happen to pass by and after poking fun at me for a million years you finally help me.

·         Two strangers locked inside the store at 3am together.

·         I accidentally broke your nose in a moshpit, sorry.

·         You’re the bastard who keeps parking in my spot so I retaliated by keying your car and you caught me

·         This is a long plane ride. You’re stuck next to me, and apparently afraid of flying.

[lockdownfest]

Lock Down Fest Masterpost PART I (20-30 March)

1917

feed me just enough that i’ll never need a cage by Cunninglinguist. (E) 7.4k,  Tom Blake/William Schofield. “Come on.” Sco stops walking, runs a hand over the faintest marking on a tree trunk. “It’s just a little farther now.” “I’m coming.” Tom huffs a sigh, yanking his shotgun strap over his shoulder so the barrel lands in his hands. They’ve been on the road for nearly a week now, an unfortunate consequence of their last shelter getting swarmed by an army of dead ones. Though skinning rabbits to eat over hastily made fires and taking turns sleeping against trees, spending the days and nights consumed with fear, and jumping each time a stick cracked were hardly desirable circumstances, it certainly wasn’t their longest or harshest stint on the run. They had endured worse, by far, and Tom had no doubt that this particular stretch of time would come to an end when Sco said it would. He knows the way, he always knows the way. Plus, Tom wouldn’t want to spend this time with anyone else in the entire world.

If The World Was Ending by RisingShadows. (not rated) 3.7k, Tom Blake/William Schofield.  When a dangerous virus begins spreading across the country William Schofield and Tom Blake quickly find themselves the last two standing of the team working in their lab.

AKB48

#unmeida by summoninglupine. (G), 788 words. Sashihara Rino/Watanabe Mayu, Kashiwagi Yuki/Watanabe Mayu.  Ready for an all-girl vacation in Okinawa, Watanabe Mayu doesn't see why she has to be the one to nursemaid their sick tour guide. Things would be different, she is sure, if Yuki was there!

ALL FOR THE GAME

I see truth somewhere in your eyes by DeyaAmaya. (M) 2.8k, Kevin Day/Thea Muldani, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, other background relationships. In a moment of insanity, Kevin decides to check Instagram. In the multitude of inane celebrity posts telling the mass people to stay home, he finds a lovely, recent photography of Thea. Someone from their College took it. The lighting perfectly captured the dried tear tracks down her unmoving face. Kevin disregards the emotional caption and instead checks the date. 18 March, the night he-  (The night he thought he had a hallucination.)

Quarantine and exy by Fornavn.  FANART. (G) 116 words, Andrew/Neil.  The monsters is stuck at home while coved-19 is terrorizing the world. They are bored.

ANNE OF GREEN GABLES

Alone and in a Circumstance by middlemarch. (T) 700 words, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley, Marilla Cuthbert & Anne Shirley, Diana Barry & Anne Shirley. Anne had a key, so she let herself in, quiet as a mouse, arms laden with bags from the market. Her sophomore class's papers on A Tale of Two Cities were poking out almost jauntily from the quilted bag Diana got her for her birthday.

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE

Worry by Neverever. (T) 2.4k, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark.  During the pandemic, Steve wants help the best he can but immuno-compromised Tony worries about his company and his health.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Poetry and Plants by the_many_splendored. (T) 1.9k, Adam/Belle. It's amazing how much you can open up to a person when you're locked in a bookstore reading together.

BELLEVUE

Knives and Lighters by goreds. (M) 2.1k, Annie Ryder/Peter Welland.  Annie Ryder finds herself in Bellevue's psychiatric hospital. She pretends to tolerate the whole experience, even if she really hates it. When a new, quiet guy comes to the ward, though, she finds herself intrigued.

BLACK SAILS

If this is Our Last Night by remuirius. (E) 2.3k, Captain Flint/John Silver. Silver and Flint are locked up together on the Walrus. Certain of their looming death at an enraged crew’s hands, Silver finds the courage to do things he’d only dreamed of until now.

BLACKKKLANSMAN

Someone Like Him by cowboykylux. (M) 2.2k, Flip Zimmerman/Reader. 'If there was one thing true more than anything else about all the reasons you loved him, it was that once your husband had his heart set on something, he was going to accomplish it.' Or, a sudden snow-storm cancels your plans for a date, and Flip Zimmerman decides that nothing, not even snow, will get in the way of treating you to something special.

BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA

Tell me it won’t always be this hard by Graendal. (T) 4.3k, Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto. He’d met Midoriya a few months ago during a field trip to the library. The kids had adored him, of course, even the ones who were usually shy about participating in new activities. Midoriya had a way of projecting a sense of all-encompassing safety and comfort with just his smile.Shouto had adored him too, maybe, even back then. A silly crush that had only grown during every subsequent field trip — which is truly absurd, considering the vast majority of their interactions at the time consisted of occasional eye contact while singing children’s songs.But now that they’ve spent hours talking almost every day for the past few weeks… calling it a silly crush might be an understatement. The idea that he’s actually been able to help Midoriya through this is inordinately pleasing.If there’s a silver lining to this at all — for him personally, at least — it’s that he’d seen Midoriya’s post requesting a virtual board game buddy. And that Midoriya is a patient enough person to teach Shouto how to play everything from scratch. He’d actually seemed excited at the opportunity.Maybe the opportunity for any sort of ongoing social interaction is worthy of excitement. These are strange times.

CALL THE MIDWIFE

Sanctuary (In Each Other) by WednesdayGilfillian. (T) 2.6k, Bernadette-Shelagh Turner/Patrick Turner. Set during the Christmas Special in S2. Specifically, during the unsettled night that Shelagh turned up on Patrick's doorstep.

CAPTIVE PRINCE

When We Went from Strangers to This by Aerica_Menai. (T) 3.5k, Damen/Laurent. Laurent is really sick, and decides to shut himself in his apartment and deal with it alone. His downstairs neighbor, Damen, gets worried enough to check on him, which went just fine - and then Damen got himself locked in. Featuring Star Trek TOS, coming outs both accidental and intentional, and Damen being his usual sunshine puppy self.

DCU

would you lie with me by Glove23. (G) 660 words, Diana (Wonder Woman)/Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne. Bruce catches a virus, and Diana and Clark come to help him.

DEADPOOL/SPIDERMAN

Avengers Monopoly by MsCaptainWinchester. (E) 1.4k, PeterParker/Wade Wilson, James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers. The Avengers are quarantined in Avengers Tower, and Peter and Wade see this as the perfect opportunity to try the new Avengers Monopoly set. They have their own house rules for property negotiation. No one told Tony. Oops?

omg they were quarantined by Jdragon122, LunaStories. (M) 2.6k, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson. Spidey has a cold and Deadpool, being the sexy boyfriend he is, goes to take care of his baby boy. But they're under quarantine and oh no, there's no more lube? What should they do?

Superheroes Don’t Get Scared by DefendersofMCUniverse. (T) 3.6k,  Peter Parker/Wade Wilson. Peter, fresh out of college, gets invited to the tower to stay in one of the guest floors that has been left unoccupied for some time since the previous tenant ‘hero’ decided to leave for unknown reasons. Of course, a few weeks into living there and getting into a routine, the last hero pops onto his balcony. Peter offers for him to stay on his old floor because the dude looks like he could use a familiar place, and also dude is kinda terrifying, and like hell he is gonna admit that to the other heroes in the tower.

DETROIT: BECOME HUMAN

Games. Family. Love. by heizl, NickEllis1314. (G) 1.8k, Carl Manfred & Markus. Because of some rebellious protesters, Androids, and owners of said Androids, were ordered to stay inside. It'd been a long day of restlessness, and boredom, and Markus was almost genuinely excited to get Carl to bed so it could all finally be over. Carl wasn't exactly tired yet though, so they reminiscence for awhile.

DOCTOR WHO

What We Did During Our Quarantine by badxwolfxrising. (M) 4.6k WIP, Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler. Rose and the Metacrisis Doctor return to Torchwood from Bad Wolf Bay and are placed in a mandatory 72 hour quarantine. However will they pass the time? }:-)

DRAGON AGE II

shaking fingers, open palms by asexualf. (T) 2.4k, Fenris/Merrill. Kirkwall has issued her people remain in their homes until the sickness overtaking the city is gone. As always, the Alienage suffers the most under this new rule - and those who enforce it.

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES

Three in a room by Tagus Knoll. (T, Underage) 4.6k, Kazuto/Darius Maynor/Chester Hayes. When Kazuto finds out they all have to be in the same room, he didn't expect that Chester, Darius and him end up dating.

FALL OUT BOY

‘Cause Everything Else is a Substitute for your Love by PadawanRyan. (G) 1.9k, Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz.  Patrick and Pete are each self-isolating with their kids during the coronavirus pandemic but well, Patrick’s in Chicago and Pete’s in LA.

quarantine, or: how to land a boyfriend in 14 days by TooRational. (T) 6k, Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz.  Patrick turns his head in Pete's direction and sees him, Patrick sees him, and his frown goes up a notch, and a fisted hand settles on one hip in that typical Patrick-is-a-grandma-pose, and Pete grins and runs full-tilt into Patrick's arms, disbalancing them both until they slam into the side of the house, tangled and half-frozen and definitely soon-to-be-bruised. He interrupts whatever rant Patrick had prepared that starts with 'you idiot' by tucking his frozen nose into Patrick's neck and sucking the warm air coming from Patrick's skin into greedy lungs, and grins even wider when Patrick yelps, offended as he always is by a breach of his personal space.

FIRE EMBLEM SERIES

Shelter from the Storm by Dameceles. (T) 4k, Elincia Ridell Crimea/Tibarn.  It's a dark and stormy night when Elincia lends aid to Tibarn. He wants to return the favor, but she doesn’t have wings.

FRONTIER

Fever 1793 by goreds. (M, MCD) 2k, Samuel Grant, Cobb Ponds. Cobbs Pond and Samuel Grant experience the yellow fever epidemic in Philadelphia, 1793. One of them gets better.

FROZEN

It all comes out in the wash by middlemarch. (G) 1.1k, Anna/Kristoff.  She'd knocked. Really, she had. It was their en suite bathroom, the room he said was over-the-top and extravagant and aggressively tiled, so it wasn't exactly her fault that she'd effectively barged in on him.

GAME OF THRONES

The Luckiest Man in the Whole F***ing World by OrangeTabby. (M) 7.2k, Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark. Sandor Clegane is in isolation at home after picking up the virus in the line of duty. Luckily, he’s got his cat for company and plenty of rubbish TV to stream. Then Stranger decided to go next door for a visit…. A story about friendship, food, romance and dubious television. And a pandemic.

GARGOYLES

Cabin Holiday by Isimile. (M) 1.2k, David Xanatos/Janine “Fox” Xanatos, Owen Burnett/ David Xanatos/Janine “Fox” Xanatos.  After everything that happened, they decide to spend a week away in a cabin, to relax and to perhaps talk about their relationship. They're unexpectedly snowed in, which triggers memories of the Unseelie War.

GILMORE GIRLS

How dare the robins sing by middlemarch. (T) 900 words, Rory Gilmore/Jess Mariano, Dean Forester/Rory Gilmore, Dean Forester & Jess Mariano, Luke Danes & Jess Mariano. The two of them, the diner, for how long? At least the coffee shipment had made it in time. What he wouldn't have given for a fifth of Jack-- or anyone else. Literally, anyone.

HAIKYUU!!

Anchor by farfetched. (G) 5.3k, Semi Eita/Tendou Satori. Spreading their arms out either side of them, they stare at the ceiling. This is pulling on them in so many ways they didn't expect; laying here, on Tendou's floor, in Tendou's clothes, right down to their underwear because who expects a lockdown to get enforced overnight? They didn't bring anything much. They should have. They ought to chance going home. But they can't, so they don't. Home is an empty place right now anyway, and here there is food and laughter and music and in between all that is their realisation that they're not so over this Tendou thing after all.

Lockdown by needles. (T) 1.5k, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru.  You never know what will escape from a box when you open it, just ask Pandora. For some it may be a disaster, for Iwaizumi could it be a golden opportunity?

Lockdown With A Fox by runningfromrealitytoanime. (T) 4.1k, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi.  Sakusa Kiyomi was a very careful person when it came to cleanliness so what happens if a certain setter with no sense of hygiene crashes at his place when Japan goes under a 2 week lockdown period?

HANNIBAL

Crumbles of unfulfilled expectations by Cinnamaldeide. (M) 11.9k, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter and other multi. Collection of ficlets of the length of a tweet or two ❀

Professor Graham’s Cheekbones Hotty & Extraordinary Foodie Husband by TheSilverQueen. (T) 3.3k,  Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter. Online classes due to the quarantine are Professor Graham's students learn that: 1) Professor Graham has a cute dog; 2) Professor Graham is married; and 3) Professor Graham's husband is smoking hot.

HARRY POTTER

A Long Night on The Bus by CuriousEmWanders. (E) 3.5k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. In which Draco & Harry are Auror partners stuck on a bus overnight. Draco has some memories that cause him to make some choices. Smut ensues, obviously.

A Pandemic by Theodore_Writes. (T) 611 words WIP, Luna Lovegood & Weasley Family. A new strain of Dragon Pox breaks out becoming a global pandemic. Many were unaware due to Fudge covering it up in an attempt to look better as a minister but when Xenophilius Malfoy/Lovegood reveals to his long time friend Arthur Weasley about what is happening around the world the entire Weasley family is horrified and takes immediate action. This is the story of what happens when a pandemic hits the Magical and Muggle world's.

A Welcome Distraction by MaesterChill. (E) 2.9k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  Draco and Harry get trapped in a Ministry lift. Whatever shall they do to distract themselves?

An Intangible Embrace by Drarrelie. (G) 365 words, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  Harry is bored. Thank Merlin his husband had finally agreed to start using Muggle mobiles after Score was born, or he would've surely gone mad now.

And on the Seventh Day... by slytherco. FANART. (T) 0 words,  During an Auror raid, Harry and Draco are separated from their partners and end up being hunted by the wrong people. Desperate times require desperate measures, so both men are sent to an unmarked location where a temporary safe house was set up for them. Stuck for Merlin knows how long, they have plenty of time to examine their turbulent relationship.

“Are you sure you know how to play that?” by julchen_in_red. FANART. (G) 0 words, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. Harry and Draco offer comfort and entertainment to their neighborhood under lockdown by performing a traditional wizards' evening ballad on their balcony.

Better Side of the Bed by gnarf. (T) 2k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  It was all Malfoy's fault. Harry could be at the Burrow right now, but instead he was trapped in Malfoy's tiny flat. All because that dick couldn't stop bothering him about a stupid life debt he didn't even care about.

Breaking Point by Drarrelie. (T) 365 words, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  After almost two years as Auror partners, they've learned to function quite well together most of the time. Right now, though, Malfoy seems to be more on edge than ever.

Civil Hands (Unclean) by p1013. (E) 8.5k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. While he and Malfoy reached something like a truce in the years between the end of the War and now, their Quidditch rivalry has only grown. And with it, a simmering tension that is absolutely not sexual, no matter how many times Hermione raises her eyebrow when Harry's drinking at her and Ron's house. Not even when his head is resting on the kitchen table next to his empty glass, and he's moaning about Draco bloody Malfoy, and his bloody perfect seat on a broom, and his bloody perfect technique.But as Harry stares over his teammates heads towards the Puddlemere United bench, he catches a flash of wet white-blond hair and flashing grey eyes, and he thinks that Hermione's eyebrow might have a point.

Conservation for Beginners by Aneiria. (E) 4.6k, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy. Hermione Granger didn't think twice about taking guardianship of Hoddholm Island for the summer. A deserted, peaceful island among the endangered Golden Snidgets is just what she needs to escape the anxieties that the end of the war brought with it. When Draco Malfoy arrives as the other guardian and they are left to themselves for a month, they both seem to be struggling in their own ways. Can they be there for each other when they most need it?

Exposure by Bridgette_Hayden. (M) 2.6k, Harry Potter/Severus Snape.  Snape and Harry volunteer to quarantine themselves for charity, and to comfort the world. Isolation leaves them feeling exposed. 

Flames by Aneiria. (E) 3.9k, Hermione Granger/Theodore Nott, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy/Theodore Nott, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy/Theodore Nott.  The whole of the Ministry of Magic and its workers are forced into an in-place lockdown quarantine following a magical accident at the DMLE. When Hermione Granger and Theo Nott are put into isolation away from their boyfriend, Draco Malfoy, how will the triad cope?

G Guess I'm Stuck With You by LittleSixx. (T) 4k, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy.  Draco and Hermione are stuck in a Ministry lift on New Year's Eve.

In a Week by Suchsmallhands. (M, MCD) 12.4k, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin.  Sirius goes under quarantine in his flat, but fortunately he was able to get some reading material and a friend to keep him occupied during isolation.

Into the Wine Cellar by vivi1138. (E) 2.5k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  Harry should know better than to touch random objects that do not belong to him. Getting stuck in a cellar with Malfoy, of all people, leads to an interesting development.

Lockdown with the Malfoys by a_reader_and_writer. (G) 1.2k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy. Dracos's parents are just visiting Harry and Draco for their weekly dinner when the Ministry of Magic announces a total lockdown. Awkward situations happen.

Lockdown Husband by Houseofmalfoy. (T) 4.7k,  Rodolphus Lestrange/Augustus Rookwood. "Got ready to leave after a hook-up for the guy to break the news that we’re on lockdown. We’re stuck together. this is the start of my bad rom-com."

Risk and Reward by nagemeikenu. (G) 2.6k, Rodolphus Lestrange/Augustus Rookwood. Augustus (Gus) Rookwood manages to survive completely alone in a burned down cabin for nearly three weeks. He's rescued by a gorgeous state trooper. Fluff ensues.

She’s A Rainbow by Ladderofyears. (M) 4.8k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  Draco never dreamt that he'd have to give birth without Harry, but when his beloved husband is put under MACUSA quarantine, he finds that he doesn't have a choice. With all the bravery he can muster, the best friend in the whole world and a pilfered magic mirror, Draco discovers that hope can be found even when you least expect it.

Stay with me through the storm by Pinkelephant42. FANART. (NR) 23 words, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  Dragon Keeper Draco finds ways to keep his boyfriend Harry on the dragon retreat longer. Harry probably doesn’t mind.

Ten below and falling by agentmoppet. (E) 8.6k, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.  In which a pandemic results in Harry being locked in the Astronomy tower with Malfoy while they struggle to find the cure.

The Question of When by Misdemeanor1331. (G) 5.3k, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy.  When a global pandemic emerges, Draco and Hermione are once again called upon to discover a vaccine.

Unlikely Quarantine fellows by Isimile. (T) 861 words, Neville Longbottom & Blaise Zabini.  Neville and Blaise are quarantined together following an accident in their potions class and they get talking.

HAWAII FIVE-O

Spring Break by stephmex. (T) 3.5k, Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams.  Danny had been looking forward to this trip for weeks, ever since the Christmas holidays when he had planned the Spring Break vacation together with Grace. But as much as he’d been looking forward to it, boarding the plane with Charlie's small hand grasped tightly in his own feels slightly off. One thing feeling off is this stupid new virus that you just can’t ignore because the news coverage is all over the place. The other thing feeling off goes by the name of Steve—and Danny is leaving him behind with insomnia and a concussion and the sure knowledge that there is something that Steve is not telling him.

HOUSE OF CARDS

Skilled Hands and Talented Tongues by goreds. (M) 1.2k, Remy Danton/Jackie Sharp/Alan Cooke. Frank Underwood's made enemies, so it's no surprise that Jackie Sharp and Remy Danton get locked down due to a threat during one of their meetings at the White House. But Alan Cooke's there too, which just creates a brand new dynamic.

IT

Isolated by Slashaddict96. (T) 1.3k, Connor Bowers/Richie Tozier.  Richie and his parents get stuck isolated at the hospital when a dangerous outbreak occurs. What's worse it's with his least favorite person

IWATOBI SWIM CLUB (MAZE RUNNER CROSSOVER)

Free from the Maze by runningfromrealitytoanime. (Graphic Depictions of Violence, MCD). 33k, WIP, Gen.  Haru finds himself without his memories except for his name before he was chucked into the Glade populated entirely by boys. As he tries to make sense of his new life amongst the Gladers, Haru realizes there is only one goal in mind: to run and escape the Maze.

KINGSMAN

Rarely Pure and Never Simple by andthenshesaid-write. (T) 2.3k, Harry Hart/Gary “Eggsy” Unwin.  Eggsy and Harry get stuck in a train. Some important things need to be said.

LITTLE WOMEN

a party hardly ever goes the way it is planned by middlemarch. (G) 900 words, Theodore Laurence/Amy March, Friedrich Bhaer/Josephine March.  Teddy had written she must come. He had run out of arguments.

Distances by MercuryGray. (G) 1.5k WIP, John Brooke/Margaret March.  A Modern March AU - In the midst of global pandemic, the March and Brooke families are trying hold it together.

MCU

Bracing by babywarg. (G) 2.5k, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange. In which Tony Stark makes a few declarations in response to a disease outbreak, and brooks no dissent.

Must Love Dogs (Right Here at the End of the Line) by bookjunkiecat. (G) 2.3k, Bucky & PTSD, Bucky & Pal (dog), Bucky & Steve.  During the virus pandemic, an already fragile Bucky has to venture out to pick up more of his very necessary meds. Returning home, he has a panic attack and retreats into an alley. While there he rescues a dog...or rather, the dog rescues him. Once he calms down, Bucky calls a veternarian's office, and reaches a warm, calm man named Steve.

Take Two by heyjupiter. (T) 14.1k, Bruce Banner/Tony Stark. When Tony Stark is injured in Afghanistan, he wakes up in captivity to find that a mysterious American doctor has plugged his heart into a car battery and saved his life. Tony is determined to repay the favor; when he escapes from the Ten Rings, he's taking Bruce Banner with him.

MERCY STREET

I took my Power in my hand by middlemarch. (G) 1.9k, Jedediah Foster/Mary Phinney.  It wouldn't do to consider just what it was that had spilled. It was war, it was a kitchen with a corrupt steward, it was a rapidly warming April in Virginia and the man she wasn't supposed to have any finer feelings for was looking at her quizzically.

MERLIN

Merlin Versus Quarantine by coconutknightshade. (T) 1.3k WIP, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Leon/Morgana. Merlin isn't quite 50 Shades of Done with Quarantine, but he and Arthur do have dry-erase "Day's Since Last Meltdown" boards mounted in the kitchen.

The Night Is So Long When Everything’s Wrong by Hum My Name. (G) 4.2k, Merlin & Arthur Pendragon. One month after banishing Merlin, Arthur's given a message in the form of a dirty red neckerchief. His ex-manservant's been captured and the captors want the king to pay the ransom.Going after Merlin is the easy part. Spending a long night in a small cell with no one but Merlin with him is a bit more difficult.

MIRACULOUS LADYBUG

Love Bug by onetruthree. (T) 3.3k, Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng.  Marinette feels the safest with her friends by her side. But when the dead come back to life, that safety is tested.

Quiet by BookGirlFan. (G) 669 words, Chat Noir & Ladybug. Ladybug and Chat Noir sit on a rooftop in an empty Paris.

MIRAGE

Murder Scarecrow and His Pissed-Off Handler by goreds. (M) 1.7k, Gabriel Taylor/Doug Marsh. Gabriel screwed up a fairly simple mission, and now he and Doug are trapped in a tiny safe house somewhere in Eastern Europe. Sort-of romance ensues.

NCT

I Go Where You Go by CocoaBop. (T) 5k, Dong Si Cheng/Lee Taeyong. Taeyong thought he was prepared for another global pandemic. But this pandemic was different. In just a few weeks of isolation, Sicheng went from the shy, awkward roommate Taeyong rarely saw to his only anchor to the outside world.

OCEAN’S 8

Every Princess Needs a Castle by ShadowHaloedAngel. (T) 1.3k, Lou Miller/Debbie Ocean. Being stuck inside is sending Debbie a little bit crazy, even though she knows it's for a good reason. Fortunately she has Lou and a foster dog to help keep her sane.

Your Princess Is In Another Castle by ShadowHaloedAngel. (T) 3.3k, Nine Ball/Tammy. Nine Ball decides if she's going to be locked down, she'd rather it was with Tammy and her kids.

ONE DIRECTION

and the sun will shine by leighbot. (G) 5.1k, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles. They're practicing self-isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic. Two little boys shouldn't be too hard to entertain, right?

PITCH PERFECT

Basic Sickness by CamGray. (M), 1.3k, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell. Chloe snaps the mask over her face and replies, “I was always smart, you just weren’t paying attention.  Vet school didn’t hurt either.  Now come on.  I’m going to rest, why don’t you go get some work done.  You can’t nanny me all day.  You’ve got more important things to do.” Beca shakes her head.  “What could be more important than this?”  She says, stressing each syllable.

Dry Spell by aliciameade. (E) 2.7k, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell. Tumblr prompt: Just imagine Beca and Chloe casually watching a porno together and when I say “casually” I mean “getting horny and ending up doing it right there.”

High-Speed Connection by aliciameade. (E) 4.1k, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell, Chloe Beale/Aubrey Posen, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell/Aubrey Posen. So Beca is a bit of an exhibitionist. So what? What could possibly happen when she decides to play with Chloe while she Skypes with Aubrey?Sin. Sin is what happens.

Ready Or Not by aliciameade. (E) 4.6k, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell. In a time of social-distancing, Beca and Chloe finally find a way to pass the time.

She’s Such a Bad Girl by CamGray. (E) 711 words, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell. “Chloe!” Chloe pauses her singing to call back to Beca. “Yes, love of my life?” Beca rounds the corner. “You’ve sung ‘Work From Home’ every day for the past 128 days. You know I love your singing voice, but can you please, for the love of the Carona gods, do something else.” Chloe pouts. “Well what should I do?”“I don’t know. I’m about to clean the house.” Chloe flips her hair flirtatiously and rests her arms loosely on Beca’s shoulders before saying, “You do too much. You’re not Superman you know.”

Watch Our Bodies Intertwine by tmylm. (E) 7.2k,  Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell.  Beca and Chloe are quarantined (yes, another "and they were quarantined!" fic) in Beca's Los Angeles home. Beca has managed to push away the feelings she harbored for Chloe back in college—they're adults now, she can behave herself. Or so she thinks.

you are my favorite thing by iPhone. (M) 3.2k. Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell.  Beca and Chloe find themselves alone in their apartment after the instruction comes to self-isolate. Set pre-PP3. Just pretend PP3 doesn’t exist.

POLDARK

Tenderness is not like money by middlemarch. (T) 599 words, Demelza Carne/Ross Poldark, Demelza Carne & Dwight Enys.  What was the real crime?

QUEEN

Stay Right Where You Are by Stormtrooperinclogs. (T) 2k, John Deacon/Brian May, Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor.  Brian and John are under government-mandated quarantine because of the virus. What are they gonna do???

RED WHITE & ROYAL BLUE

bend the rules by perfect-porcelain. (E) 6.8k,  Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor.  Alex is stuck inside with his roommate Liam and Liam's boyfriend Spencer and he thinks he's going to go insane but when his neighbor in the alleyway across from his window moves in he supposes that the quarantine won't be so bad after all.

Just Checking In by JessJesstheBest. (G) 1k, Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor.  In an au where COVID-19 happens to Henry and Alex, they try and stay connected through self-isolation.

SHADOWHUNTERS

Malec Malaise by Fluxx. (G) 2.9k, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood.  Magnus has a cold! In the absence of his magic, it seems he managed to catch some common Mundane bug. Well, that should be fine. Nothing a little rest and tea can't take care of... right?

SHERLOCK

Going Viral by trillian_jdc. (G) 1.1k WIP, Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade.  Mycroft Holmes has been exposed to the coronavirus and prepares to self-quarantine, which he's very used to. His isolation is accidentally interrupted by Greg Lestrade, who winds up sheltering in place with him.

Thank You John by AnAnYaH. (G), 352 words, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson.  Quarantine day fic.

SHETLAND

Remote Communities by aurorlaura. (T) 3.4k, Duncan Hunter/Jimmy Perez.  Jimmy Perez, Duncan Hunter and their daughter Cassie experience the Covid-19 lockdown in Shetland.

STAR TREK: PICARD

Of Malady and Mother by Boldlynyooming. (G) 4.1k, Elnor & Zani. There was an outbreak of Beluxian flu on Vashti, and Elnor was not allowed to go out.

STAR TREK: VOYAGER

Confined To Quarters by ShayneyL. (E) 1.6k, Harry Kim/Tom Paris. Tom and Harry are in trouble again. Will they find a way to entertain themselves while confined to quarters? (Spoiler: yes.)

Social Distance by MiaCooper. (T) 1.2k, Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway. The terrible trials of a captain in quarantine.

STAR WARS

Fever of Love by ladyofreylo. (E) 8.1k, Rey/Flip Zimmerman.  Rey and Flip shelter in the library overnight during a flu epidemic. Rey believes Flip is part of a racist group, and Flip can't tell Rey he's undercover because it jeopardizes his investigation. He asks her to trust him. Will she? And will she allow him to help her friend's brain-damaged brother escape the clutches of the evil organization?

I Know You by Idrilhadhafang. (M) 739 words, WIP, Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren.  After a dogfight outside the Raddus, Poe Dameron and Kylo Ren are trapped on a planet below, with no memories for either of them and only being able to rely on each other.

Please don’t take him just because you can by middlemarch. (T), 911 words, Finn & Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Finn & Rey & Rose Tico. It wasn't a terrible job, it was the pandemic. Rey kept telling herself that, hoping she'd believe it. Or that it would all turn out to be a bad dream caused by eating government cheese before bed. Still, there were bright spots.

Something To Look Forward To by spacewitchqueen. (G) 1k, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren.  While self-isolating, Kylo manages to make a new acquaintance. Perhaps even a new friend? Perhaps in time something more.

There’s been a Death, in the opposite house by middlemarch.  (G) 100 words, Kylo Ren/Rey.  Crisis was supposed to bring out the best in people. That was the silver lining, Rey was pretty sure that was the line anyway.

STAR WARS LEGENDS

Cabin Fever by Keldae. (G) 1k, Gen. Theron hates being locked down in one location on the best of days. Being isolated with only a Sith Lord, an irate Wookiee, and (the head of) a protocol droid that won't shut up for company? He's pretty sure he's in at least the second Corellian hell.

Pinned Down by Keldae. (T) 696 words, Female Jedi Knight/Theron Shan.  The only option is to stay hidden inside and hope for a rescue.

The Waiting Game by Greyias. (T) 4.4k, Female Jedi Knight/Theron Shan, Satele Shan & Theron Shan. The worst part about all of this was the waiting. Theron hated standing on the sidelines as everyone else risked their lives. He needed something to do. Anything to keep him distracted from his own thoughts.

SUPERGIRL

Darkest Before The Dawn by Val_Creative. (T) 1.4k, Kara Danvers/Lena Luther.  Lena ends up diagnosed with a serious virus. Kara gets a little panicky about this and worries enough to visit her.

SUPERNATURAL

Fourteen Days and Four Dozen Eggs by Mandala Rose. (E) 5.6k, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester.  As the Milton-Winchester household prepare to hunker down and #flattenthecurve, Dean makes a trip to the grocery store, for what was supposed to be their normal weekly grocery run. After all, they aren't the kind of people to panic and over-buy, right?

Hickory Dickory Dean by Carrieosity. (M) 2k,  Castiel/Dean Winchester.  When Castiel's library has to close because of the coronavirus pandemic, the librarians need to get a little creative in order to keep serving the community. Castiel has no problem recording virtual storytimes, but when it comes to adding in songs and things, he needs to call in a little extra help.

Knock by hit_the_books. (E) 2.5k, Castiel/Dean Winchester, past Dean Winchester/Lisa Braeden. Dean and Cas have been living together as roommates for about a year when the COVID-19 pandemic forces Douglas County health officials to issue a "stay at home" order. With Dean working from home and Cas trapped there with him, Dean starts to realize that he doesn't really know much about the younger man he's living with. And then he knocks on and opens up Cas's bedroom door one day and discovers far more than he was expecting.

It'll Be Fine. by ChloeDarling. (G) 1.4k,  Castiel/Dean Winchester.  Forced to self-isolate, Castiel finds himself succumbing to the boredom as he runs out of ways to keep himself entertained. Luckily, Dean Winchester has a plan to save the day.

Next Time, I Choose Death by CeliPuff, Winchesterlovr0508. (M) 1.2k,  Castiel/Dean Winchester.  In light of this pandemic, I decided to write some daily journal entries on how we survived the 14 day quarantine. It’s me, my brother and my best friend, what can go wrong?

No Dent by spnsmile. FANFIC AND FANART (E) 7k, Castiel/Dean Winchester. Because the Impala is the best place to lock Dean and Castiel away when in the middle of another fight. They really need to talk and close the distance created by their stubborn heads. At least, Jack thought so.

Throw Away the Key by CeliPuff, Ketch22. (E) 2.1k WIP,  Castiel/Dean Winchester. multiple other relationships. After his father dies and leaves him nothing but the coolest car ever manufactured, the whole world turns to shit. Caught in the middle of a pandemic while attending the funeral, Dean is told he can’t return home and has to find somewhere else to ride out the mandatory month-long quarantine. Out of options, he calls his best friend Benny.Cas has lived with Benny for awhile - the bed was comfy, rent was cheap... the orgies were just a bonus. It wasn’t a half-bad place to live out a permanent bachelor lifestyle, or an irritating lockdown - but he’s about to get more than he bargained for when Benny takes in a stray.

Outbreak 2019 by spnsmile. FANFIC AND FANART (T) 1.7k, Castiel/Dean Winchester.  There's a spreading virus around and against it the medical staff are in the front lines. Castiel is a doctor and he just texted his husband he's positive of the virus.He awaits his fate in silence thinking of Dean.

THE 100

In Fair Corona by eternaleponine. (M) 8.3k, Clarke Griffin/Lexa. While returning from a service trip abroad, Lexa volunteers to take another flight when theirs is overbooked, and Clarke is forced to accompany her. When someone on the flight gets sick, they find themselves quarantined far from home with only each other for company. Can they overcome their differences and realize that they're in this together?

THE AVENGERS/MASS EFFECT TRILOGY

Stuck with You by sgteam14283. (G) 3.3k WIP, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Female Ryder/James Vega, Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard. Adults can handle being stuck somewhere for a long period of time. For the most part.

THE EXPANSE

How to Have Fun in Quarantine at the UN by goreds. (M) 1.4k, Chrisjen Avasarala/Sadavir Errinwright, Arjun/Chrisjen Avasarala.  Chrisjen Avasarala and the whole of the United Nations, including Sadavir Errinwright, are on lockdown during a pandemic. Mild non-social distancing ensues.

THE FLASH

Between Hope and Fear by Purpleyin. (T) 4.1k, Cisco Ramon/Hartley Rathaway.  During the pandemic, Hartley tries to help. He tries to keep going and do whatever he can, from a distance. Everything is going as well as can be expected, until his world comes crashing down with one phone call from Caitlin Snow.

THE GRISHA TRILOGY

watch the world go by by JemDoe. (T) 823 words, Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov. “The plague of 758 was a very serious issue, made worse by the Fold, Alina. Supplies were so hard to reach to the other side of the country…” “Wipe that smile off your face before talking about a plague that was made worse by your actions, then."

THE HOBBIT

Cave in by Isimile. (T) 1k, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield. Of course the cave in has to happen just when Bilbo is accompanying Thorin to a visit of the newly re-opened mines. Thorin just have the worst luck.

THE LORD OF THE RINGS

Nowhere else by Roselightfairy. (T) 1.2k, Gimli/Legolas Greenleaf. In preparation of an anticipated attack from nearby Dunland, Éomer has ordered that Aglarond go into lockdown.At least Legolas and Gimli are together.

THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

a melody played in a penny arcade by aguntoaknifefight. (T) 2.7k, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas. Jon is trapped in the Institute. Things change.Or: Peter Lukas’s post-divorce pettiness inadvertently saves the world.

THE SIMARILLION AND OTHER HISTORIES OF MIDDLE-EARTH

A WORLD WITHOUT GRANDPARENTS by bluehair. (G) 1k, Maglor & Finwe.  I really didn't plan this. But it wanted to be written.

THE SOFT DOCTRINE OF IMAGINOS

On the Wrong SIde of the Mirror by Imaginos_Buzzardo_Desdinova. (M) 2.1k, Gen.  Trapped on the wrong side of mirror, Imaginos must find his way back to stop the evil Desdinova. He finds only one other person who also was tricked into the mirror.

THE TERROR

Lift Fire by Gigi_Sinclair. (G) 2.5k, Thomas Jopson/Lt Edward Little.  "Tom doesn't speak, either, until there's a strange grinding groan, the lights flicker, and the lift shudders to an unexpected stop.Oh, you have to be joking, Edward thinks, as Tom says, 'I'd heard they'd been having some problems with this one.'"

Look for the Helpers by goreds. (T) 1.2k, Captain Francis Crozier/Commander James Fitzjames.  Dr. Francis Crozier, stuck at home, lends a hand to his sick next-door neighbor, James Fitzjames.

THE TRANSFORMERS

Maybe it’s enough by choomchoom. (T) 2.8k, Drift/Rodimus, Prowl/Starscream. The boys deal with the pandemic.

Quarantined by pipermca. (G) 2.7k, Gen. Even when the Decepticons are forced into quarantine to stop the spread of a deadly disease, Soundwave still has work to do. If only his cassettes would keep it down...

THE UNTAMED

The Usefulness of Bunnies as Messengers is Strictly Dependant on the Bunny In Question by theskyandsea. (G) 2.8k, Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian is quarantined in an apartment with Jiang Cheng and it's going about as well as one would expect. Which is to say, the second Wei Wuxian discovers just how hot his across-the-street neighbour is he jumps at the opportunity to talk to someone else.Even if that talking is through the medium of messenger bunnies.

We’re on a boat and... by chatcolat. (T) 1.4k, Gen. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian get stuck on a boat and accidentally end up talking to each other for five minutes while they wait for rescue.

THE WITCHER

Carefully We Gather by tackytiger. (M) 2.4k,  Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier. They've been snowed in at the inn for six days now, and Jaskier still isn't speaking to Geralt.It's just, killing monsters is what Geralt does. Just because this one came a little bit too close to killing him first, doesn't mean that Jaskier has to get in a sulk about it. And why does he care so much, anyway?

Distanced Dears by jaskiersvalley. (T) 2.2k, Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier, Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach/Geralt of Rivia, Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu, Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach/Jaskier, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer/Cahir.  Given the fact Geralt worked in the Accident and Emergency department, it was highly likely he would catch the virus, even with every precaution. Not wanting to put his whole family at risk, he and Cahir move into Cahir's old flat and they try to weather the storm by themselves when Geralt does get infected.

No More Water, but Fire Next Time by ladivvinatravestia. (T) 7.7k, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Jaskier, Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier.  Jaskier and Ciri take shelter at a refugee camp following the fall of Cintra, where they find that Pestilence and War often ride together.

oh my god they were plague-mates by wombatpop. (T) 4.3k, Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier. “They’ve closed the streets, Geralt. We’re stuck in here.” Jaskier and Geralt stuck in an inn together. What could go wrong?

The Fortnight by Elizabeth. (E) 7.5k, Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier.  A plague is ravaging the Northern Kingdoms. First Oxenfurt is locked down, and then Novigrad. Geralt is immune, but Jaskier isn't. Rosemary and Thyme is a pretty nice place to spend a fortnight, but it's still a long time to spend with just one person--even if that person is your best friend.A lot can happen in two weeks.

Trouble In Here by Val_Creative. (M) 2.5k,  Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier. Jaskier accidentally barricades himself into Geralt’s room when he’s been cursed, forcing them to isolate together.

YU-GI-OH! DUEL MONSTERS

And they were quarantine-mates by Alecto. (T) 4.8k, Jounouchi Katsuya/Kaiba Seto. The order came down while they slept. Now Kaiba was stranded at Joey's place for the foreseeable future.

YUYU HAKUSHO: GHOST FILES

Six Feet Apart by Penguiduck. (G) 2.4k, Kurama/Reader.  You've only been living in your condo for two months, but you have yet to meet your neighbor. When you're sentenced to working from home due to the recent COVID-19 virus, you step onto your shared balcony for the first time. You meet Shuichi and really like him. The only problem? You have to stay six feet apart.

[whateverthedragonswant]

More proof in the pudding for 15x20 breaking the fourth wall theory

I kind of already discussed this theory on this post here but in going over the last two seasons of GoT to add to this dark!Dany meta I’ve got going, I noticed something that I think is worth taking a look at.

GoT 8x06:

We all remember what happens after this weighted ominous walk of Jon’s.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XhfGY5pIPg&t=254s

“When I was a girl, my brother told me it was made from a thousand swords of Aegon’s fallen enemies. What do a thousand swords look like in the mind of a little girl who can’t count twenty? I imagined a mountain of swords too high to climb. So many fallen enemies, you could only see the soles of Aegon’s feet.” “This is our reason. It has been from the beginning since you were a little boy with a bastard’s name and I was a little girl who couldn’t count to twenty.” “You are my queen, now and always.” -- this is dialogue meant to call back to the Dany the audience has known since season 1 - this was done in an effort to keep her character sympathetic to the end but it’s problematic since she just torched an entire city that held a million innocent people, and it completely negates the true moral of her story - her brother is mentioned who we haven’t seen since season 1, who by all means is not a good influence or a hero in this story but in this last season, she has started to embrace the Targaryen side of things (that we’ve seen reflected in her wardrobe, I see you Michele Clapton, you brilliant woman, you) - the dialogue even invokes season 1 Jon in that one line, though obviously the focus is not on Jon but Dany herself - Jon who had just been acting as the audience mouthpiece in the jail scene with Tyrion (acting as the writers’ mouthpiece - again breaking the 4th wall), saying “You are my queen, now and always”, something the split audience (the ones who felt betrayed by Dany’s dark turn and still stan her to this day) keep saying - yes “now and always” was a common saying in the North, but this wording is purposeful as is this piece of dialogue for essentially what is Dany’s death scene, the most controversial death to come out of this episode, the end of this series I would even argue

15x20:

We all remember Dean’s monologue that took close to 10 mins to happen as he was “fading pretty quick”, so much so that Sam couldn’t call for help

“There’s a few things that I need you to hear. Come here. Let me look at you. There he is. I am so proud of you, Sam. Do you know that? I’ve always looked up to you. Remember when we were kids, you were so damn smart, you never took any of Dad’s crap. I never knew how you did that. And you’re stronger than me. You always have been. Hey, did I ever tell you that night that, uh, that I came for you when you were at school? You know when Dad hadn’t come back from his hunting trip? The woman in white, that’s right. I must’ve stood outside your dorm for hours because I didn’t know what you would say. I thought you’d tell me to get lost or get dead and I didn’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t have you. ‘Cause I was so scared. I was scared. ‘Cause when it all came down to it, it was always you and me. It’s always been you and me.” “I can’t do this alone.” “Yes, you can.” “Well, I don’t want to.” “I love you so much. My baby brother.” -- notice anything...familiar? -- this is dialogue meant to call back to season 1, to the original audience that started out with the brothers in season 1, that may not have stuck with the show for all 15 seasons but maybe ducked back in for the finale just to see how the show chose to end the boys’ stories - John is mentioned who is not a good influence nor a hero in the story which the show has gone out of their way to show time and time again, despite 14x13 - this is the result of one of their dad’s old unfinished hunts from season 1 including the “villain” - Dean mentions events of the first episode when John hasn’t come back from an old hunt, when he goes to get Sam from school, the woman in white being their very first MOTW of the show, even the dialogue from that first episode where the lines are reversed and Dean tells Sam he doesn’t want to do it alone - the dialogue is meant to invoke nostalgia of that pilot and that time, that version of the boys’ stories, where it was Winchester only - Dean’s death (outside of Cas’) is one of the most controversial deaths to happen this episode, even this series (though it has a lot of problematic deaths, i.e. Charlie but I mean in the main character arena) - this was done to keep season 1, specifically the pilot, in the viewers’ minds and as a callback to the beginning of the show, the dialogue was very purposeful, it’s also no coincidence that Sam is the focus here and once Dean is finished telling him goodbye essentially, he looks away behind the camera and talks about how he didn’t think today was going to be the day but it is (which adds to the pudding even more, because this is later season Dean talking who did not want to die on a hunt and wanted something different for himself, season 1 Dean always knew he would die young on a hunt) 

And let us not forget this:

Andrew Dabb: “If you thought Game of Thrones was bad, just wait” (x) - this is said in a joking manner but where is it said? Comic Con 2019, the same Comic Con D&D canceled their appearances at & left the cast who did appear to deal with the fallout. This isn’t a man flipping off people and being like “Ha! Crybabies, we’re doing what we want to do and that’s that! Ha!” He said it in a joking manner when he talked about how only 30% of people would be pleased after seeing the finale and Jared joined the conversation. This is the same man who pushed hard along with Bobo Berens for a spinoff that featured women and women of color as well as having proper queer representation but got shut down by the network in the end. The same guy who worked to separate Dean and Sam from their toxic co-dependency and bolstered the found family theme in the narrative, while also taking the baton that Carver started with of Dean and Sam thinking of what they would actually want for their endings, and running with it, developing that even further. 

What did GoT have? 2 final seasons as it were. To be fair, season 7 cannot be considered an alternate ending, it had way too many open endings but here (x) it’s stated that D&D did want to end GoT with season 7 initially before being convinced by the network to go to 8. They wanted to move onto other projects (that never happened because they’re egotistical greedy idiots, but I digress)  and their rush to end the series showed. HBO wanted 10 seasons but they didn’t want to move forward without D&D. GRRM thought at least 13 seasons would be appropriate. 

What did SPN have? 2 finales. 15x19 is not only the finale that closes up the mytharc but also the found family finale. I’m not sure if they knew this ahead of time or found out last second (Misha’s line of “Cas’ ending was supposed to be different but I don’t think we’re supposed to talk about that” still haunts me), but ultimately, that’s how it worked out. 15x19 was for the later season fans, the found family, the mythology fans (meaning Heaven, Hell, angels, nephilim, Lucifer, Jack, etc). That’s why we get the huge montage of characters at the end of the episode, the initials on the table, Dean demanding Cas be brought back in the beginning of the episode and Lucifer’s phone call, Dean and Sam wanting Jack to come back to the bunker but he can’t, Dean and Sam driving off in Baby together with “Running On Empty” playing. 15x20 was the series finale for early season fans, Kripke fans, Winchester-only fans. That’s why there’s no big montage in the beginning of the SERIES FINALE that they had done every season premiere, every season finale, and every mid-season premiere. They didn’t want the found family (yes, including Cas and Jack) in the viewers’ minds. But they couldn’t remove those two characters from the narrative completely (they were too integral later on in the series plus later season fans are watching this too) so they get mentions. This is why the Carry On My Wayward Son twice, Sam married to Blurry Wife and having Dean Jr., the Winchester-only mantle, the MOTW that calls back to one of their big bads (vampires) in season 1 (outside of YED & any demonic forces), why the brothers-only ending. This is why Dean is all ‘Cas who?’, why Eileen disappeared, and why Jack is off shooting a new spot for Architectural Digest. They only wanted Sam and Dean on your minds in 15x20 with the extension of John, Mary, Rufus, Bobby, and Baby with a touch of the Roadhouse in the background. This is also why no pictures of Blurry Wife on the Winchester-only mantle either. This is why Sam’s son was named Dean. This is why after putting on the Party City wig, Sam goes to sit in Baby and cries, thinking of Dean.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again: 15x20.👏 Was.👏 A.👏 Vehicle. It’s no coincidence that W*lker was more heavily promoted during 15x20 than any other time before. That what happens in 15x20 for Sam and Dean (and that Sam is once again the focus after having the story split between the brothers for years before) parallels somewhat to what happens in Jared’s new show and his character. This is the same network that uses its shows to backdoor pilots of spinoffs and other shows time and time again (think Green Arrow and The Canaries, Legacies, etc). It’s also no coincidence that W*lker is in the same time slot as SPN had been in, that they intersperse the use of #SPNFamily and #W*lkerFamily on Twitter, that the C*W SPN twitter account is used to steer followers to their other content, that the C*W YouTube account for SPN no longer has any clips or promos available for that show, almost as if it doesn’t exist. You know why? Simple, they don’t want SPN on your minds anymore. They want you watching W*lker and any other new content they are cooking up and throwing at you. Don’t be surprised if they start heavily promoting another new show (besides their returning ones) during W*lker episodes now. That’s just the name of the game, how it works. They already pushed the audience they wanted from 15x20 to W*lker and now SPN is an officially closed chapter for them. Dabb and the actors had other projects to move onto. In their minds, it’s done...until they try to reboot it in some way in a couple of years. And it will not only feature a younger generation of actors but will have what they consider to be appropriate queer representation as well as POC representation in the new cast. It may be the same Winchester story though changed or a whole new story in that universe. You laugh but watch. It’ll happen. This network is not known for its quality or originality, only for their brand. There’s a reason they keep on showrunners to head up new content if their original source of content works and they become “favorites” (i.e Julie Plec).

Ultimately, GoT was referenced many times on SPN, in dialogue between characters whether it applied or not. GoT was mentioned by the actors when discussing watching it, at cons and in interviews. SPN (and Dabb) was very well aware of GoT and what happened with that show. Not only because it was all over the media everywhere, being a pop culture phenomenon that had HUGE backlash, but also because they were there at the Comic Con where the backlash was felt strongest. To the point where even other people mentioned it in their panels (i.e. Seth Rogen). I’m obviously not in Dabb’s head nor was I on set when they filmed the finale or in the writers’ room with J2 and the writers when they pitched the ending so I don’t know. But isn’t it odd that 8x06 of GoT features a scene that has been confirmed by Kit Harington as breaking the 4th wall to speak to/get the viewers’ attention, make them think, and SPN is a show that has featured that same concept (usually in a comedic fashion) time and time again? And in 15x20 they have Robert Singer make an appearance? And the infamous bridge crew shot, J2 talking to you while still in costume as Sam and Dean from that same shot, and the voiceover “And cut” before it cuts to black? 

I don’t think we’ll ever really get answers. I think any we get will always be complimentary to the network, or “we can’t talk about it”, or “it was always planned that way”. I’m not saying those people are being less than truthful (and seriously, I don’t blame any of them, it’s PR and they need to protect their careers, feed their families, if you speak out on anything in this universe, something really serious or the tiniest thing, you risk ever getting hired again, you will be blacklisted, it’s not right and it’s certainly not fair, but this is the way this particular business works) but something is not adding up (a lot of somethings actually). I think there was definitely a different ending for Cas, possibly even Jack (meaning he might have made at least one appearance). I do think there may have been a different resolution to Destiel and Saileen (unless they truly planned to keep it ambiguous all along). I don’t know if Dean would have had a different ending, I think he might have at one point as suggested by the narrative during Carver’s and Dabb’s eras, but I’m not sure what their “true ending” was going to be regarding him or Sam. To have Sam be the one that died would have been redundant from Swan Song (5x22) so I doubt they would have gone in that direction. I hate to think it but I don’t think we’ll ever really know. As far as death scenes go, Dean’s death in 9x23 was way more meaningful and impactful for me when he tells Sam that he’s proud of them, than what we got in 15x20. No offense to the guys’ acting or to the boys themselves, but the 9x23 scene was more appropriate imho. And that also leads me to believe that Dean’s manner of death may not have been what they planned all along. But until we get answers (which again I don’t think we will), we’ll never truly know for sure.

As for me, this is just more proof in the pudding. I’m not saying Dabb & Co purposely sabotaged 15x20 at all but I wouldn’t be surprised if they kept the reaction to GoT’s finale in mind at a couple of key points while getting these last two episodes shot. 15x19 was our finale, sad to say. 15x20 was the network’s finale, meant to induce nostalgia and callbacks, bringing the boys’ original fans over to Texas to watch a certain ranger do roundhouse kicks. Sad but true. 

[druddigoon]

bederia week day 2 prompt that lost steam 3/4 of the way through and ended up never being posted. gonna post as a scrap here, i guess

klara is all of us shippers

When Bede thought about the duties of being a gym leader, he never expected so much of it to be just waiting. 

After the scandal with Eternatus and Rose’s arrest, the league was able to pull some strings to quell public unrest and ensure there’d be a gym challenge the next year. Mostly due to the fact that the new champion was the one to save the day, and that two major league gyms were succeeded by people who had played roles in dismantling his regime (because hey, he’ll take credit where credit is due). Now they were on the last dregs of the circuit, when most of the challengers had either advanced to gyms higher in the circuit or were picked off by lower ones. 

Bede swung his legs idly against the stage. He’d received an rotom-mail stating that there were three challengers headed his way, but either they were lost in Ballonlea or decided to drop out, because he’d been here since early morning and there was no sign of anyone. 

“Might as well just take the rest of the day off,” he muttered to his mawile, currently occupied with nibbling the stage equipment.

Mawile didn’t seem to be paying attention, too busy looking far off into the distance. Suddenly her larger mouth stiffened, her eyes widened, and with a cry that hurt Bede’s eardrums she hopped off the stage and ran out of the room. 

Bede found himself with no choice but to follow. 

She must’ve heard Gloria arrive at the gym, he thinks. They had planned to meet to train in the Tangle earlier this afternoon, but she had yet to show her face. 

He pushed up the heavy double doors leading to the lobby. “About time you came, Glori—”

Wait. 

That wasn’t Gloria. 

His mawile (traitor) was currently munching pecha berries from a certain trainer he’d hoped to never see outside of league meetings. Her dustox was hovering overhead, shedding a trail of poisonous dust as it investigated the ceiling lights.

“This your mawile?” Klara pets the jaw pokemon, still happily chomping down on her pecha, “Super sweet little gal.” 

“Yes. Mawile, you know better than to eat from strangers. Get back here.” 

“Let her enjoy her treat! She must be knackered out from alllll the battles you’ve been doing at your gym.” 

Bede refused to humor her. “Why are you here?”  

“Aww, don’t be like that,” she spoke in a sickenly sweet voice, “Can’t a girl visit her favorite little brother?” 

“For the last time, no one is forcibly adopting me.” 

“No one except Opal, of course.” 

“Look,” Klara said when he didn’t respond, “Minor league doesn’t have half as many duties as you guys do. We don’t have a gym to manage, we don’t have challengers to take care of, all we do is twiddle our thumbs at meetings or train for a shot next year at major! And both are soooo booooring~” 

“And that is my problem because…?” 

“Consider this payback for ousting my toxtricity in the tournament. You’re stuck with me, fairy boy.” 

Before he can retort with I’m not afraid to high horsepower you just like i did your giant lizard, there was a loud slam coming from the entrance, door rattling on its hinges. 

Gloria hobbled in out of breath, leaning heavily on the wall. She looked like she’d been through hell: face red, hair askew, and that dumb green beret she always wore nowhere to be found. “Sorry,” she managed, “league...business...took...longer than I thought.” 

Did she run all the way to Ballonlea? 

Bede sighed and massaged his temples. “I can’t believe you—no, don’t talk back at me, conserve your breath. There’s an empty couch right next to you. I'll go get some water.” 

Gloria accepted the water sheepishly. “Sorry about this. I had an interview with a film crew right before when we planned to meet, which was just part of a documentary they were making on the history of Stow-on-Side’s monument. They just wanted my eyewitness account of what happened. Don’t worry, I didn’t go into detail about your disqualification.” 

With how often he embarrassed himself in the media (and on live television, during the championship tournament) Bede doubted it would matter.

“But you know I get nervous talking in front of people. When they say it takes ‘one hour tops’, it apparently doesn’t take into account the amount of retakes I needed to do just to get a clip where I don't mumble.” She leaned over to give Mawile a pat on the head. “I was really late by then so I ended just...running. Didn’t realise until I was halfway in Glimwood Tangle that I left my bag at the filming site.”

He settled in the seat next to Gloria’s. “You shouldn’t be having these problems. Take some time for yourself, our meetings aren’t really important and can be moved to a later date. Make sure to factor for commute time and things like this.” 

“Ugh, I know. Hop says I’m ‘pants with schedules’. I just...can’t decline. I’m the champion, this is part of my duty.” 

Klara cleared her throat, making Bede’s ears burn. He’d completely forgotten they weren’t alone. “You didn’t offer to get me water.” 

“Get it yourself,” he snapped back. 

“Oh.” Gloria blinked, finally noticing Klara. “I didn’t see you there. You are…?” 

“Klara.” She strode closer, extending her hand for a fistbump. “Minor league gym leader, number 881. Poison-type specialist. 

“Nice you meet you, I’m—” She paused to glance at the outstretched fist in confusion. Bede bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from snickering. “I’m Gloria. I’ve been meaning to meet with the minor league leaders, actually, so it’s really nice to see you here! Beautiful dustox, by the way. Haven't seen many of its line around Galar."

If Klara took offense to Gloria's (lack of a) fistbump, it was immediately forgotten when Dustox was mentioned. She brightened. "Thanks! Got him from a breeder in Hoenn, and with the laxer species protection laws I was finally able to bring him here."

“Can I see him? Frosmoth has trouble flying in humid weather, and I’ve been wondering how something so bulky like dustox adapted to its environment—d’oh! I should probably call a corvitaxi to get my bag before someone decides to steal it. ” 

“No need.” Bede fished out a pokeball and pressed it into her hands. “It’s near the mural, right? My reuniclus remembers how to teleport there. I need to handle some challengers today, so it’s best that we cancel our training. Retrieve your stuff, then go home and rest. You can return my pokemon next time we meet.” 

After Gloria left, he turned back to Klara. "You should leave too. I have things to do."

"What, 'handle some challengers'? I don't need a psychic type to know you don't have any."

"I still need to close up. Leave."

“The champion visits you in your gym. For 'training', you say.” Klara rested her chin delicately on her hand. “Ah, young love.” 

Bede sputtered halfway into locking the stage doors, catching his thumb in the process. "There is nothing romantic between Gloria and I! We both needed more training, and I was the best gym leader to tutor her."

"Suuuuure you are. And the Battle Tower doesn't exist." She grinned, all predator. "Let's not beat around the bush here. Champ likes you enough to make you her training partner, you care about Champ enough to fuss over her like a mother corviknight. Now, be a good brother and tell Big Sis the details."

Hissing from the pain, he fumbled around before releasing his hatterene. "Fuck you. Hattie, teleport me back to my house."

"Wait! No! Stay with me and I'll make it worth your while! I know the best tricks to woo a girl—"

Bede was gone before she could finish her sentence.

Several days later, he was walking through the streets of Hammerlocke. 

There it was, a couple blocks away from the gym: a looming fortress of ebony brick and wreathed ivy with the words Hammerlocke City Vault emblazoned above wooden double doors. He’d been notified that he was to attend a private league conference in one of its side office buildings just yesterday, which was a little unusual since they usually give it at least a week prior. Bureaucracy has done worse, he supposes. 

In the lobby, underneath a vivid painting of Galar’s Darkest Day (recently revised to include Zacian and Zamazenta now), sat Gloria, dozing on his reuniclus. 

“Bede?” she mumbled, sitting up with a jolt when the pokemon slid out from under her to greet his trainer. “Didn’t know you had business here too.” 

“Ditto to you.” Reuniclus chirruped, headbutting his shoulder. He gave him a couple rubs on its head. “Maybe we’re in the same one? Mine’s at ten in room thirty-four.” 

“Huh.” Gloria tossed him his pokeball, which he caught and withdrew Reuniclus with. “Same, but...I’m meeting with my PR team, and I’m pretty sure they specifically asked for me. Are you sure yours is today?” 

“Give me some credit Gloria, I’m don’t just mix up dates. Let me pull up the email...” He took out his rotom-phone, scrolled down and...yep, there it was: same date, room, and time. The invitation was formal, the same mass-email format he’d received from them a thousand times, and to check he glanced at the sender’s address and—

Sent by Klara. 

Arceus fucking help him now, he was going to send his rapidash after her. 

“Anything now?” Gloria prompted as Bede shut his rotom-phone with more force than necessary. He noticed she was more subdued lately, didn’t fire quips at him or engage in the back and forth banter that became the norm in their relationship. 

He wanted to ask her if she was well, if she actually went home to rest like he told her to. Wanted to see the smile she wore when she played with her pokemon, back when she didn’t look like she was running herself into the ground. Bede had never been the one to concern himself over other people, but there was something he couldn’t stand about watching this quiet candle of a girl get snuffed in the panache of publicity. 

“...Guess I did get the date wrong,” he lied. “Do you mind if I join your meeting? Might as well, since I cleared my entire schedule out for this damn trip.” 

“Well, I’m alright with it.” She got up, and he didn’t miss the steadying hand she placed on the wall. “I don’t know about the people I’m meeting with…”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re the champion, they should follow what you decide to do.” If his past taught him anything, it was to assert himself or risk getting trampled over. By the way Gloria averted her eyes, he assumed she had not. 

They walked into the conference together. When the PR team arrived, Gloria dismissed their confusion with a wave. “I brought Bede along. He won’t be part of the meeting, so just pretend he isn’t here.” 

He huffed, crossing his arms, but his indignation melted away when she shot him a weak smile.