#specifically my heart
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i'll finish this wip someday (ーдー)
ratio the academe you love is not for the faint of heart o(T□T)o
#specifically my heart#this damn semester gaaaahhh#i wish to be a golden hour npc#fanart#digital drawing#digital art#fanart illustration#digitalillustration#dr ratio#veritas ratio#hsr ratio#dr ratio fanart#hsr veritas#honkai star rail#hsr fanart#hsr#hsr art#art wip#wip#digital sketch#sketch
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Reigen genuinely had no idea
#my art#mob psycho 100#mp100#reigen arataka#kageyama shigeo#mob#reigen was so excited too :(#sorry to everyone who followed me for a specific fandom and then i dont post anything for that fandom for months#but the heart wants what the heart wants#(it wants a new fixation every two weeks)
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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Their growth is something that can be so personal
#like they truly went from being enemies and trying to murder each other#to being their whole heart#some soulmates shit right here#lamen#damiano x laurent#captive prince#EDIT IN THE TAGS: THESE ARE NOT MY FANART.... THESE ARE THE OFFICIAL POLISH COVERS FOR THE BOOKS#there are other 2 that are not in the posta#i think it is important to be specific because some people believe i made this#and i wish sweetie i wish
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Listen to me. Listen to me. Tim deserves to be 19 and thriving and making it everyone else's problem.
He's not been Robin since he was 17 and maybe the Red Robin series happened here, maybe it didn't, but either way it hardly matters now. He's not angry about it anymore but it's an inside joke between all the kids for reasons that Bruce doesn't understand (and probably won't ask about). He grew his hair out long enough that he can tie it back in a messy bun or a half ponytail, and he's gotten at least one tattoo to cover a more conspicuous scar he couldn't explain away easily to the press. He got his GED and he's taking college classes in an artsy major specifically because it pisses off the stuffy old men at Wayne Enterprises. Paparazzi have snapped at least two dozen photos of him skateboarding through downtown Gotham in a Givenchy sweater over ratty-ass jeans and heavy combat boots. Clips of him being a complete fucking gremlin at a public event have become standard meme templates. He's Lex Luthor's second most important nemesis purely because he's bratty and annoying and clowns on the guy on socials all the time. He's rabid. He's ungovernable. He's so endearing because of it.
#tim drake's tendency to fight anything that moves#morally gray tim drake has my heart#that's not specifically in this post but i love that interpretation of the character so i'm tagging it here#tim drake#red robin#batfamily#cr1mson's thoughts
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when people refer to canon story-relevant kingdom hearts games as ‘spinoffs’ it makes me sad not only for the obvious reasons i always say but also bc like man i WISH this series had spinoffs. imagine what they could do if they had permission from nomura to truly go off the rails and ignore the greater canon for a second and just do some fun whimsical plotless thing in an alternate universe. imagine a fishing/boating game on destiny islands. kh fighting game. it is an injustice that we have been deprived of kingdom karts. can anyone hear me
#in terms of alternate gameplay and lack of reliance on plot#i feel like melody of memory is the closest thing kh has actually had to a spinoff#but even that is important in its own way in the end#union cross to a certain degree as well what with being an online multiplayer gacha type game#its original concept i would definitely classify as a spinoff game#bc it was set in a totally different world and time period and was supposed to be about customization and fun with friends#and nomura or someone said it wasn’t meant to be connected to the plot#but then like. he did very much go and give it a plot. like he went back on that almost immediately#and even then. given that the game is still very much combat and exploration#even from the beginning can it really be called a spinoff? it’s just kh in a different format#i’m talking like a game in which the objective is something totally different.#racing game or cooking game or fighting game or (another) rhythm game#ace attorney style detective game. dancing game. dude i don’t know#there are so many different flavors they could go with here#alas nomura is allergic to genuine whimsy which is hilarious given that this is a disney series#like he apparently was like ‘ohhh should we really let sora in smash? would it make sense in the story?’#my brother in christ surely we’re not supposed to interpret this as canon to kh right? right????#i guess it’s just that the kh franchise has a very specific pristine vibe he wants to maintain#which is disney shenanigans as a seasoning on top of a main dish of Stone Cold Serious Anime Plot#kingdom hearts#kh#mine: kh
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pelican town, ‘72
#stardew valley#stardew valley spoilers#sdv#sdv spoilers#grandpa#mister qi#mr. qi#idk how dates work in stardew universe im just bullshittin#i love qi’s huge fucking eyebrows you dont notice them at first but theyre there#(gives our collective grandpa a ponytail) i think he had one. whatever#’why isnt mister qi blue’ my hc is he is blue from long-term iridium supplementation#and was originally just a regular person#but also it’s nice to see ur fav be like a normal human color#if u read tag essays tho consider this:#qi discovers secret to immortality (consuming iridium in a specific manner)#wants to share discovery with his farmer (player’s grandpa) and in that way. they will have all the time in the world to build#a perfect farming/business empire whose legacy will last forever and ever and theyll be 2gether forever#but it turns out. like a lot of normal people would. his farmer does not want to live forever#and obv he doesn’t#in an attempt to try not to ever lose the thing that means more to him than anything else in the world. qi inadvertantly ensures he will#because his farmer is dead. and he’s going to live forever#but. it’s kind of ok. because he has infinite money and was able to figure out how to talk to his dead bf#and now YOU help them fulfill their joint goal of making the farm’s legacy last forever#smile. heart#sobbing
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Wow Dale I didn't know you liked entomology! 💕
#Sorta inspired by an unfinished fic of mine. this isn't a specific scene its more of just vibes#I do hope to finish it eventually but I kinda want it to be a long fic and that is. not my strong suite#also for longer stuff I like to have a backlog in case I need to course correct#so like the first chapter is technically postable but I wanna make sure I know where Im going with it lol#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dale dimmadome#fop dale#fop peri#art#digital art#fanart#peridale#sorta#it is in my heart#dead bugs tw#torture tw#idk how to tag this#ask to tag
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Felt a bit nostalgic watching RT shut down…Here are the og faves again for old times sake 💙
#rvb#agent washington#agent Carolina#lavernius tucker#michael j caboose#epsilon#my art rvb#ahhh a lot of feelings…of course I stepped away from rt as a company a long time ago#but RvB is special to me!! it was my first fandom experience ever#and the community here on tumblr specifically was so instrumental to me growing up#I really could not have asked for a better community of artists and writers to grow up in. I know it sounds like platitudes when I say#that everyone was super nice and talented but REALLY. People were so kind to me and somehow I became well known despite#my art and writing and me in general still being immature and hashtag cringe#I found my creative legs and#people would respond to my stuff with walls and walls of support in the tags and we would do exchanges and events every year#I made my first lyric comic and it’s still doing extremely well on YouTube even today!! my dad who passed away recently always loved it#and my favorite RvB writer came out of hibernation to write me a bunch of text wall asks about it#I’ve never had another fandom experience quite like RvB#I still keep in touch with many of my friends from that time period even though we’ve all moved on the other things#these guys will always always have a place in my heart#so long reds and blues….
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I’ve been trying to read the ace novel to practice reading Japanese and I find it really funny how deuce describes ace like he’s the heartthrob surfer dude male lead in some 2010s Disney film
Anyways here’s an ace since I was thinking about him
#one piece#portgas d ace#tried to simplify down my coloring process a tiny bit#this definitely went a lot quicker than my other fully rendered pieces#anyways. so my house (student residence? friend group?) has a tradition once a term called darbtalks#where we’re allowed to give a presentation on anything we want#and historically I have Always done really long lore talks like on kingdom hearts and kirby#and so. they set a time limit for the presentations. BUT SPECIFICALLY FOR ME LMAO#so this time I’m presenting the entire timeline on the asl brothers and#please. the powerpoint is 93 slides long hadngsdjg and I only get 23 minutes to present it#this’ll be fun
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Have you ever been curious about the EnStars MC Anzu, what she does in EnGirls and EnStars, and what information we could gather about her from each story?
For Paradise's 10th Anniversary, I made an "Anzu Story Breakdown doc" where you can read what she does & any info about her in each story🌸⭐️‼️ (twitter post)
(currently doesn't contain EnStars stories, but they are in progress and will be added once they are finished per year)
09.14.24 - Added EnGirls and extra materials 09.15.24 - Added story names in the outline for easier navigation 10.08.24 - Added the following ES! stories: Marching Band, Sweets, Duel, Hero Show, Tanabata Festival, Pool Opening, Test of Courage, Restaurant, Quarrel Festival, Holiday, First Shrine Visit, Amusement Park Show, WANTED!!!, Robin Hood, Passionate Carmen, Sweet Halloween, Beasts, Buddy
#mh talks#ensemble stars#ensemble girls#engirls#enstars#anzu enstars#anzu ensemble stars#i kinda felt like posting it on tumblr too just for archiving purposes#made specifically for anyone who wants to know how much anzu there is in engirls but can't be bothered to read the stories#i did the homework for the team o7#i wish i could have finished the Era ! part before her unofficial birthday but theres just so much going on for me in sept-oct that i just#can't find the time to read#did i make this most specifically bc i hate how people throw tomatoes at reika and sakura for causing her to transfer when they#regret it with all their hearts and anzu doesn't even hate them for it? mayhaps#if i had a nickel for every time i made a Reading-related document for my brown haired girl fixation i would have two nickels#yeah i know the engirls section is missing 7 stories IM WORKING ON IT!!!
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make me your god, I can give you everything [OCs] Millicent & Elisyr
#o#yes those are lyrics from alien stage's very own ruler of my heart#specifically the sua vr I'm obsessed with it
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NILLE BLAST
aaaa worked on these a while ago but!! i’ve got a pétronille design finally!! and it was nowhere near as daunting as i expected to be!!!! this was really fun to work on actually. don’t look at that leftmost doodle btw. it’s. Not Great (by my standards for myself at least).
aaaanyways. design notes and greyscale versions below!! most of this isn’t. super set in stone or anything? just Night Ramblings
in terms of colors she’s mostly just a Slightly Edited version of bonnie’s palette. the only noteworthy addition here is the blue (or. well. more like grey actually) i added to her shirt, hat, and waist wrap. no real reason here, i just thought it’d contrast well with her colors!!
i also kept her outfit pretty similar to bonnie’s! bonnie’s official ref mentions that their shirt is too big for them so! i think it’d be cute for all of their clothes to be hand-me-downs from nille🩶. i imagine she cares more about practicality than fashion, so her outfit’s pretty simple! breathable clothes she can move around in, a bag to hold her stuff, and a hat to keep the sun out her eyes.
generally went for more. blocky??? shapes here? i wanted to set her apart from bonnie! idk. not much to say here!
this didn’t affect her design That Much outside of the bandages on her hands, but she’s rock type here! it just Made Sense with her hammer. in hindsight i wonder if that influenced her design being more Square…
aaa you can probably tell i’m writing these while tired. sorry if these are even more disjointed than usual (somehow). here’s the greyscale versions!! thanks for reading and stuff!!
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#<- because. nille.#also yes. her hat and the bg really are the exact same value somehow#also didn’t mention this in the notes but. i Had to give her a braid#i just Had To. there’s not a design reason for that#also!! gave her sandals instead of boots like bonnie#since bonnie specifically points out how they wear massive boots. so i feel like it’s a thing they got themself#iii’ve got more thoughts but it is. 12:30 in the morning as of writing this#and this posts in like 30 minutes so i am! prolly gonna add more when i wake up tomorrow#please enjoy my nille ramblings heart emoji
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breaking apart our intricate machinery / i will carry your heart in my teeth
#couldnt decide on a title/caption/whatnot please have both#ultrakill#v1#v2#what was the tag#v4v#caption is based on that one crane wives song#can’t get those lyrics out of my head. man#specifically ‘they will consume your sweet resistance - they will carry your heart in their teeth’#gen art
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deadclaws badassery where it's revealed Wade and Logan tested the distance on Logan's hearing.
Watch them hundreds of feet away from each other in the battlefield and all it takes to set Wolverine loose is for Deadpool to mutter "Logan."
gif credits to original owners!
#why?#because don't come into my house and tell me Wade doesn't have Logan wrapped around his finger. that's why.#especially when Wade is mortally compromised? all that regeneration and smartass banter that Logan loved? compromised?#non negotiable#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#logan howlett#deadpool 3#wade wilson#poolverine#deadclaws#deadpool 2024#AGAIN WITH THE SUPERHERO NAMES BEING DIFFERENT TO THEIR UNMASKED NAMES#The rest of the world can refer to him as Wolverine. the hero. the x men. deadpool's partner. sure.#i specifically want Wade to use Logan's name in this moment because i want to continue the love theme between them#romantic or platonic i genuinely don't care#Logan hears Wade say his name and he knows things are Drastic#Wade might be the type to call him Wolverine to his face in moments of joking. light hearted mocking.#one or two moments of sincerity including “You wanna know something? You're the best Wolverine.”#but “Logan.” through a mouthful of blood and a scratchy throat is different#we marvel x men kids know how protective logan can get over his students#what more over his partner?
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I've seen a lot of stuff going down on tumblr and I just wanted to let you all know that all aromantic, asexual, and aroace people are valid members of the LBGTQIA+ community. It doesn't matter if they are cishet or not.
#aromantic#asexual#aroace#not blog related#important#i'll have replies turned off because I don't need discourse on my blog#this post is for my aroace followers to know they are supported#this post is NOT for people trying to invalidate aroace experiences to spew nonsense#love y'all#enter the new year with love in your hearts#not hate#edit: I don't know how to turn replies off for a specific post#so i'll just delete any replies
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