#specifically its like. theyre a sys right. so

[77ngiez-archive]

transmasc hajime is powerful but not as powerful as transfem izuru.

[is-that-plural]

urgh not to feed into the whole demonization stuff but postal dude from the POSTAL game franchise is plural coded (and i am allowed to say this having DID.. bc i get so mad when singlets say he has "split/multiple personality disorder" (also bc its the outdated name) but when i see someone who is a system say he is im likd. YES (also most of the time those people who claim MPD on him are doing it to demonize the disorder and add nothing else.. like no nuance or whatever at all or deep discussion) GOING TO RAMBLE SORRY (should also probably content warn. postal is a pretty violent/graphic/dark humor franchise so theres gonna be bringing up of violence and guns, and also some semi disturbing imagery?? mostly it just being eerie, demon visuals, and scopophobia).. oh also religion trauma talk ALSO SPOILERS FOR POSTAL 1997 (?) AND POSTAL BRAIN DAMAGED!!! -------------------------------------------------------------

so, in POSTAL 1 (1997), theres this whole thing where, if you look at postal dude's voicelines from Rick Hunter, iirc (my memory is a bit rusty) theyre labeled with "demon", and his death/pain sounds are voiced by Vince Desi and arent labelled as such. its also heavily implied that postal dude is TERRIFIED and scared, but then his voicelines are him making snide and mocking remarks. it has been implied that he may be "possessed by a demon" but also that he has multiple mental conditions.

now, in POSTAL: Brain Damaged, this becomes extremely obvious. we are now more into the future, and Dude has to fight against other dude inside his own head. Other dude is the "demon" from postal 1997.

(other dude on the left, postal dude on the right.) other dude's speech at the final cutscene, he specifically talks about how they are basically one in the same, while he also cannot be killed or defeated. (and um. after this he gets shot in the head by postal dude, and "dies" but ill get to that.) (i know alter death isnt real, but us, along with other systems weve seen, have said that in headspace , an alter for example may look like they are dead or something happened to them, but that didnt actually kill them and they arent dead. it has been said this is usually a stress thing, or a coping mechanism. we have done stuff like this before.) so i dont believe other dude is dead. ALSO! when postal dude shot him, he brought up not being able to remember things he learned in childhood after that, and his brain was going all dumb,, https://www.kapwing.com/videos/66bab3c776014924d543c4c6 (tumblr wont let me put a video so i hope this link will work!! if it doesnt you can just look up the final cutscene of the game, but like the warnings i put up above they are fighting and he does get shot.) -------------------------------------------------------------- FINAL THOUGHTS my take/headcanon whatever u wanna call it, as a DID system, is that he may have DID or OSDD-1a. but instead of just claiming that and not digging into anything else or finding nuances, here's some other stuff. as a persecutor in our sys myself who also recently fused with postal 1997 being the source, and also our other few postal introjects (a few who are also persecutors), Postal dude and Other dude are system coded. I think Other dude is a mislead persecutor who is fully convinced he is a demon, on top of Postal dude thinking the same about other dude. A big thing that happens with many systems because of trauma, especially religious trauma, is thinking they are possessed (and sometimes even those around the system also calling them possessed,) and because postal dude never got the help they needed, they have some, what i like to call, internalized demonization. the first case we ever see the postal dude is in 1997 (which is also the year the game takes place in and not just the games date), and to my math, postal dude is canonically 53-54 this current year. of course he wouldnt have gotten help, especially how under researched CDDs are still to this day! and i do think they have religious trauma, i mean, the entire thing for postal 1997 is dude thinking he is cleansing the earth for god or something. POSTAL 1997 has "diary entries" (which turn into "war journal" after a bit) and they all have very obvious religious ramblings. so, my conclusion, postal dude has DID or OSDD-1A, heavy internalized demonization, religious trauma, and is system coded. i rest my case. also... just look at this image bro tell me he isnt plural,,

SORRY FOR THIS BEING SO LONG I JUST LOVE TALKING ABOUT THIS and despite this might being seen as demonizing DID, personally i and a few others ive met who like postal and are systems dont see it that way and postal actually makes us feel seen lol

!!! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU FOR THE RANT

a rant is actually Really needed, because i can only do so much research myself on media we're unfamiliar with, so for you all to give your reasoning and explanations is absolutely PERFECT !!

Rating: CASE CLOSED: That Dude is Plural !

[bassguitarinablackt-shirt]

helloo asher i’m going to ask you a few questions about being a system if that’s okay!

do you have a headspace/inner world? some systems have these (ofc not all) and it seems like such a cool concept! if you do — how does it manifest, and how much do you use it?

are there conflicts of religious faith within your alters (this is pretty personal so just ignore if it makes you uncomfortable). i know you’re helpol — is this a widespread belief system within the system or no?

are there relationships (platonic romantic secret third thing whatever) within the system, or is everyone just kind of. separate parts of a whole?

merging is often kind of an “end goal” for many psychiatrists dealing with systems. is that one for you, or do you prefer where you’re at now? or you would possibly want to be even more separate from your alters? (also pretty personal, don’t feel pressured to answer it!!)

how can you tell who’s fronting/co-fronting?

adieu i am so sorry for all the questions i am just so fascinated

funnily enough we don't have a headspace, atleast not like. a set one???? like we can imagine alters doing things but we dont really have like. a set headspace/inner world. its more like we all just exist in a void 😔

the religion thing is complicated 😔 we're collectively helpol but we're not really sure how alot of us feel about religion on an individual level?

oh we have alot of in-sys relationships. like will and neeks are dating, percy and annie are besties and think its funny to act like they're dating because of their source, asher will neeks percy and annie are all kind of a group just because theyre like the five most frequent fronters, astro mars and venus are a trio and im pretty sure astro and mars are in a qpr, jace pipes and leo are a trio, we call jace and carlos the dogboy duo, jace is just like generally an older brother figure to alot of us, theres probably more im too lazy to remember rn 😔

honestly as of now we're not really sure how we feel about final fusion/integrating, like right now its just not something we can work towards so we're kinda leaving that up to future us but im kinda leaning towards working towards functional multiplicity instead, idk like i said thats up to future me

we actually just answered this in a previous ask!!!! if you dont wanna look flr that short answer is we usually have no idea who the fuck is fronting but each alter has a specific vibe that can kinda make it easier to tell and also some of us have specific things aside from our vibe that can make it easier to tell

this was all super fun to answer thank you my dear friend!!!!

[elixyrsweb]

｡🍄’. WELCOME TO MY BLOG! .’🍄｡

˚₊ ↳ ABOUT ME

🌱‧₊ elix/elixyr

‒ he/they prns (+ neos)

‒ 18

‒ artist, animator, writer… kind of becoming a “jack of all trades” atp GDJSGF

‒ unlabeled queer & transmasc nb!!

‒ plural sys

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˚₊ ↳ RULES

🌱‧₊ bfi + dni can be seen in my carrd, but many of the basics apply here (dont int if youre a bigot, an nsfw acc, a genuine weirdo etc)

‒ dont repost my work anywhere without my explicit permission. you are not permitted to use my work for any sort of ai

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🌱‧₊ my main fandoms currently are murder drones, deltarune, friday night funkin, pinky and the brain and the walten files, but below you’ll see my full list!

‒ murder drones

‒ deltarune

‒ fnf (friday night funkin)

‒ patb (pinky and the brain)

‒ twf (the walten files)

‒ sonic prime

‒ eddsworld

‒ undertale

‒ fnaf (five nights at freddys)

‒ mlp (my little pony)

‒ animaniacs

‒ ata (amanda the adventurer)

‒ camp camp

‒ tadc (the amazing digital circus)

‒ rottmnt

‒ hh/hb (hazbin hotel/helluva boss - no, i do not support vivziepop.)

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˚₊ ↳ TAGS

🌱‧₊ these are tags i typically use for specific topics that i post or reblog! these probably arent all of them since i ended up deleting my initial intro and now cant retrieve my full list but this should be a good list of my common ones :] this will likely change in the future when i make more tags

‒ #wowza look at this thing | elixyrs rbs

‒ #oh yeah. its art time | elixyrs art posts

‒ #damn look at this masterpiece | elixyrs art rbs

‒ #ask me things!! | elixyr answers asks

‒ #tee hee me when the silly | elixyrs silly posts & rbs

‒ #dont mind me just rambling | elixyrs ramble posts

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‒ #wtf is lgbtq+? yall have gay premium? | elixyrs lgbtq posts & rbs

‒ #omg me fr? me when??? | elixyrs relatable rbs

‒ #time to be serious tm | elixyrs important posts & rbs

‒ #this is so random that i dont even have a caption | elixyrs random posts & rbs

‒ #me- wait no US when the plural is pluraling | elixyrs plurality posts & rbs

‒ #my favorite silly oc series!!! | elixyrs zyksmith posts

‒ #do you think everything rots? | elixyrs ata posts & rbs

‒ #theyre air shoes | elixyrs sonic prime posts & rbs

‒ #pov the delta is certainly runing | elixyrs deltarune posts & rbs

‒ #this tag filled you with determination | elixyrs undertale posts & rbs

​‒ #YOU PARASITE *pop* | elixyrs tadc posts & rbs

‒ #beep bop bop beep boop | elixyrs fnf posts & rbs

‒ #silly gay mice | elixyrs patb posts & rbs

‒ #its time for animaniacs (and theyre zany to the max) | elixyrs animaniacs posts & rbs

‒ #whos world is it??? EDDSWORLD!! | elixyrs eddsworld posts & rbs

‒ #FELIX pick up the FUCKING PHONE | elixyrs twf posts & rbs

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‒ #was that the bite of 87??? | elixyrs fnaf posts & rbs

‒ #dont wash your hands; youre a robot idiot | elixyrs murder drones posts & rbs

‒ #harpy hare, where have you buried all your children? | elixyrs meadowlark posts & rbs

‒ #im in too many fandoms already | elixyrs other fandoms posts & rbs

[lockedtowers]

From Predator To Prey

or, essentially, why cassie cannot remember that transition period between escaping the castle, and meeting hatter, because thanks to mad march (mine specifically aka @familiarache ) she can’t. Until she did also because of him in the main story.

because there’s a lot to unpack there, and ofc i get the inspiration to write this before work, so i’m not spell checking or anything i’m just throwing the thoughts out into the void and we’re dealing w it. again, these are based on my characterization with my version of these characters, and would not affect anyone elses versions, in fact this mostly just affects her behavior with non sy/fy alice characters in general unless you say you want to do something with this storyline in those verses with your sy/fy alice chars. what i write for my character outside of our interactions is not me godmodding you, please don’t think otherwise, i’m not gonna force it

a quick toss in; cassie does not know her mother, has no idea she’s the princess of spades, doesn’t know why cheshire cats are considered ‘dangerous’ (because theyre pmuch all faeries and QoH wanted to annihilate them), and have never knowingly met her father. she was raised by her uncle who works under the Queen of Hearts as her right hand. He ensured that neither she nor Miseris would learn the truth, and because Cassandra was the older twin and the girl, meaning by wonderland law she would have inherited no matter what because she’s the girl, he had to ensure she was unaware. That did not stop him from making sure Jack knew, which is where Jack’s (also mine, also @ familiarache.) obsession grew from. She held the power to take away his right to a throne that never should have belonged to him in the first place and even though she didn’t know that, he did. But if he married her, he’d be seen as the hero, and even if people found out about her, he would already hold the crown and could just.. make her disappear, basically.

other important things to note: when the Queen of Hearts agreed to hire cassie on as an assassin, she put march in charge of her. march is older than hatter, older than their other sib, he is the eldest overall. he has powers, he can talk to shadows and even control them to a point, but people hear him talk about it and… it doesn’t go well. cassie heard him talk about it, and she didn’t judge him for it, she didn’t care, she didn’t even know she was ‘supposed’ to (as she put it when he asked her about it). in march’s mind, he owned her the second the Queen of Hearts gave her to him. and that solidifies a lot over the course of their partnership and… otherwise. but it’s important to note all the negatives first; he’s a lot older than her, which yeah wonderland theyre all over 100 years old it doesnt matter as much but its important to note, he’s older than her by a decent chunk. He was her tutor. he decided she was his property. and she honestly didn’t know any better because all she knew was people weren’t hurting her when she was with him, which made her grow extremely attached. but the massive power imbalance is still there and still important to note even then when maddox/march isn’t ‘that bad’ yet.

now, for the actual focus of this. when cassie was pulled aside by the ten of clubs, (shortly after she personally refused a kill. a kill march finished. so she assumed she was in trouble for that, despite already being punished for it before.) and told that she would be pulled out of the ‘team’ so to say, because the queen of hearts wanted to put her in training before officially marking her as jack’s fiance… she did not have a good reaction. even pointed out like ‘i’m not a royal, i’m not a noble, i can’t do that’ to which 10 just said the queen will make her what she needs to be, and she does not get a choice.

and believe me, march was pissed when he found out. because she belonged to him. and while he was thinking over ways to still keep her; just take her away between times she has to he with jack, figure out how to manipulate jack into letting him keep her, etc, she was just trying to figure out how to get out of it.

but, the queen, at the time as she still trusted her son then, left jack in charge of what training cassandra needed. and rather than actually put her in any training, he had the suits bring her into the prisons below the vices tower (it was not the casino yet, but still held the same operations.)

now, jack had her imprisoned in a specialty made cell. unbreakable glass where he could see in, she could not see out. water filled the bottom of the cell, and an electric current could be turned on at any time. the queen thought cassandra was just in training (when she even remembered her), march didn’t know where the hell she went. jack would come see her, and in his true manipulative form, claim he had no idea his mother would do that to her when he expressed his interest, nor that march would out her weaknesses. he’d promise that she’d be freed when he could figure out how, meanwhile he was the one who put her there. and to make matters worse, he’d eventually get March to be the one watching her.. with three other suits at all times, as jack was in fact aware of what was going on between them.

the issue, though, is they also had the jabberwock locked up a few cages down. the jabberwock they caught anyways when cassie told them they shouldn’t. and the jabberwock that is very protective over her. and the jabberwock, no matter how much they thought it could be, could not stay imprisoned for long. coincidentally, just as cassie had found the weak point in her cell while the guards were distracted.

it broke out, at the same time cassie broke out, and the jabberwock destroyed nearly the entire prisons with it. it found cassie in the rubble of her cell, along with four suits (as march wasn’t there at the time), and took her with it when it left. the underside of the tower was compeletely destroyed, and as the jabberwock got out, it destroyed multiple halls and walls in its path. whilst the structure was mostly still there, the lower half was truly struggling. so although they continued their operations, after a short break due to the fear the people started exhibiting making it too dangerous until carpenter ‘fixed’ them, they still were able to continue draining oysters a few days later. whereas the structure had to undergo massive rebuilds for weeks, which they refrained from letting the public be aware of.

while the queen didn’t know cassandra was imprisoned, she did hear that she broke out and escaped, and that was enough for her. she told march to kill her and bring her back cassie’s heart, and march was ever the loyal killer for her. even if that was the last thing he wanted to do.

jack sent suits with him, claiming she was ‘too dangerous now for march to go alone’, all whilst also alerting the resistance that a ‘tool’ of his escaped the imprisonment ‘his mother’ placed her in, and that she’d need to be kept somewhere safe when she was found; which is when dodo would start looking for a shoe in.

and of course, march would find her; she had woken up and wandered off, not knowing what to do about the jabberwock, but knowing she couldn’t stay in one place too long because jack would find her. she didn’t trust jack at all. she didn’t like jack at all. she didn’t like how he’d touch her, how he’d look at her, or anything of the sort, and despite being trained her whole life to be loyal to then, her time with march sort of cut that mentality away from her despite the fact he was loyal to them himself.

but march couldn’t do it. he almost did, the blade was at her throat, and she even held her hair up by the end telling him to just get it over with. she didn’t want to run anymore, she didn’t want to have to hide, but she’d rather die than have to be in the tower anymore.

but march couldn’t do it. he loudly claimed ‘she doesn’t want your head. she wants your heart.’ when he dropped the knife; but used his gun to shoot the three suits that accompanied him. whilst cassie was panicking, he pulled her up to her feet, pushed her back against a tree, and held her still while he looked at her eyes. he demanded a deal, told her he can’t let her go until she agrees; she had to forget about him, specifically. everything they were, everything they had, everything about him: until he came back to make her remember, and that he’d ‘kiss her or something’ to make her remember. but the second she left that clearing in the forest, she had to forget everything about mad march, everything about maddox madigan, she could not remember him and put him at risk, too. when she agreed, he kissed her, and shoved her away while he turned his attention to one of the suits, aiming to get his heart instead.

she escaped from the tulgy wood into the forest of wabe, becoming lost rather quickly, until she fell and hit her head. the jabberwock came to find her, and picked her up, carrying her to a withered down cabin within the forest. when it set her down, it laid down, looking directly at her as its eyes grew black.

when she woke up, it wasn’t her in her body; her father took control of her conscious. a natural at the magic she didn’t know how to control, he used water to make a mirror as he overlooked her; saddened at how much of her life he truly missed, he took a glance over at the jabberwocks resting form. with a sigh, he held her hand up, crystalizing a knife. she was never going to be able to tap into her full power if he didn’t do this, but that didn’t mean he wanted to hurt her. but by taking control of her form, he could at least ensure she wouldn’t remember it, even though she wouldn’t know what all had happened the last several days.

by the time she woke up properly, almost three weeks later, she saw a crystalized mirror in front of her, and a large scar over her neck. she felt weird, and confused, and alone. but the jabberwock nudged her with its head, and she came to realize it’d been watching over her this entire time. she didn’t know what happened, or why, just that jack heart wanted her, and she couldn’t let him get her.

she’d be found by her twin brother, who only told her he had a short amount of time, and gave her new clothes and a map on where to go. she listened, and found the tea shoppe: and ultimately, hatter, who’d recently gained his position, recently lost a brother (by his own hand), and was charged by dodo to watch over her and make sure the hearts don’t find her. but she doesn’t remember much, and everytime she mentioned ‘a tutor’ of hers, she’d seem to be in undeniable pain. something was blocking her ability to remember, but he didn’t have much options with her anyways. she couldn’t go to the resistance, and they didn’t tell him why, but he had to keep watch over her. make sure she stayed safe, even when she annoyed him.

and of course she’d grow attached to him, too, because he took care of her. how was she not meant to see him as a friend, and want to protect him, too.

[sinesalvatorem]

I, Metronome

Humans are very sensitive to rhythms. They don’t always consciously perceive them, but system one is very reliant on the environment having consistent rhythms in order to do predictive processing. If someone you’re speaking to puts emphasis on the wrong beats of their speech, it feels disorienting. If a beeping noise or a swinging pole suddenly goes off beat, it immediately reenters conscious awareness as system one throws a fit.

Most people don’t directly notice rhythms around them with their system 2, unless it’s really blatant, like the drums in a piece of music. They don’t notice that the friends they’re walking with have a specific rhythm to their footsteps, even as their own footsteps sync up with that rhythm.

Being in sync with the environment - making sure that your pulses of activity coincide with the pulses around you - is really useful for predictive processing. It significantly increases the regularity of everything around you, making that stuff take up less mental space. It just works, without you having to think about it.

However, I do think about the rhythms directly. Rhythm is like a first-class data structure for my thoughts. This has made communicating about my way of perceiving the world harder, since other people tend not to notice rhythms at the sys 2 level, but I’ve found it deeply important to my way of parsing and affecting the world.

Because I don’t just see rhythms. I can also make them very, very consistently. Sometimes this is explicit, like when I kept our clapping ensemble in Music Fundamentals class in sync, even while we played the weird syncopated rhythm I’d proposed.

But more generally it’s just that, when I’m feeling confident in a course of action, every movement I make in its course is very very on, the, beat. Small movements coincide with small pulses; large movements with large pulses. As I walk, the frequency of my steps is an integer multiple of the frequency of my breaths - and every other action I take is similarly on-cycle.

The thing I took a while to realise - and which I still don’t know the scope or consistency of - is that other people sync up to these rhythms too. Probably because my adherence to the beat is bizarrely consistent, which means I work well with their predictive processing. For a while this kind of freaked me out, because I didn’t want people being influenced by my rhythms if I didn’t fully understand them myself.

But then I realised the really important bit - if the people in a room have all sync’d with me, that means they’ve sync’d with each other. If I sit in the corner of the library swaying, gradually everyone else has the pulse of their motions line up, until people are flowing with and around each other beautifully. The beat of the environment reflects the beat inside, so when people reach out to touch the environment, it just works.

The parishioner's at my local church think this is miraculous. The Music Fundamentals professor thinks I have some sort of eclectic talent. Almost every day of the past week (occasionally multiple in a day), someone I’ve never met before has come up to me and told me that I “do good work” and that I need to keep it up. No one is particularly clear about what the work I’m doing is, but my best guess is that it’s keeping the beat.

I think my ideal job right now would be something in the vein of the ancient trireme drummers who held a beat so that everyone could row in sync. However, the triremes have passed, and I think I could do better as the metronome for a factory floor, as ensuring everyone on the floor is in sync with each other is really really useful for avoiding industrial accidents (plus direct productivity is much higher).

The question is how to explain wtf is going on to a factory manager so they’ll hire me for it. It’s relatively easy to experience the effect - you just have to be nearby to me while I’m in a flow state. The mechanic who’s renting me this RV is v enthusiastic about my living here, and seems to be more productive when I’m dancing nearby to his shop.

The trouble is that, since humans tend not to notice rhythms at the conscious level - any more than you count the 440 pulses per second when you hear someone play an A - the experiences I cause aren’t really self-documenting. No one knows what the “good work” I’m doing is, just that when I’m doing it the trains run on time and all their actions are mysteriously more effective.

So, like, if your party needs a healer or your trireme needs a drummer, hit me up. If you know how I can leverage my ability to brush my teeth to syncopated eighth note triplets into a real job, hit me up. And definitely if you know any experiments I can do to learn more about this (both my internal rhythm-keeping mechanism and its effects on the world), hit me up. I’m dying to have someone I can science this shit with.