#specifically because it was not quite right when it was activated
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i can not "this tbh" hard enough. Remember when Emma Watson gave a speech about bringing men into feminism because dismantling the patriarchy benefits everyone?? Remember that was in 2014??? Remember that it was actually working and actively recruiting men away from the manosphere, chan boards and subreddits with the promise that if they hated the game and it made them miserable, men didn't have to play it either?
You can thank a rad fem for the full 180 on that. And no, I'm not exaggerating, most of the movement leaders have gone on record saying that they actively worked to reframe their gender divisive ideology to make it more hip and cool sounding, then methodically went after the younger generation of queers who hadn't yet establised ties or absorbed any of the history-- specifically young wlw-- in the new and fast growing online communities on Twitter and Tumblr.
Radical Feminism is a hold over from the feminism of the 60's through the 80's. While the feminists of that day made massive strides for equality in the work place, it left behind vulnerable populations and didn't make very strong in-roads to cross collaboration, inclusivity, and diversity. It was already considered too ridgid and out of date by the 90's third wave feminist movement, and by the 2010's with the expansion of queer rights and queer visibility in online spaces, while still being at least mostly protected by anonymity, we were making huge in roads towards the idea that feminism was for everyone, and the ultimate antidote to patriarchal power structures. Conversation focused mostly on addressing those structures, how to undermine and dismantle them, how to empower the men in our lives to do that, and to support them in breaking away from it. It's where the idea of toxic masculinity came from: not that being male is toxic, but that there are ways of performing masculinity that are toxic, ways that are healthy and foster community and growth in their lives, and that men could still be manly men without the extra baggage attached. That our spouses, brothers and cousins could do it better than their father's did. That they could get therapy, have have help, and pass something better onto their sons.
I have a lot of cis male friends who I would have described as chest thumping manly men types back in the day, who sat down and had thoughtful conversations, who came out the other side staunchly feminist, far more aware and intentional, and brought that into their friend groups and work places.
If you want to know what happened? We stopped having that conversation. The rad fems were successful, they got into the heads of young fem queers and convinced them to put a wedge into their lives with men.
They even got into the heads of the transfems they hate! Do you know how many fresh hatched eggs I see to this day spouting anti-male propaganda that was originally handed down from TERFs? (Ladies, they're not going to welcome you into the non-existed Secret Inner Magical Sanctum of Womanhood no matter how loudly you scream about men sucking. They don't even do it for most cis women.)
And meanwhile the pewdiepies and Andrew Tates of the world never stopped talking to the men. Who did you think they were going to listen to after getting shut out and shut down?
And if you don't believe me, this blog has existed for over a decade. You can go back into the archive and view posts from 2012. Reblogged a LOT of feminist posts back then because there WERE a lot! Whole reams of queer and feminist theory were being drafted in real time between the people it affected most. You can see the shift especially in 2016 onwards in less and less as we quit being able to have those conversations without a rad fem jumping in and either shifting the narrative or distracting everyone with nonsense and sometimes vile accusations to shut it down completely.
This was calculated and intentional because a handful of people where very pissy that they weren't leading the direction of the conversation in the new online era anymore.
Genuinely, what happened to âfeminism is for everyoneâ?
Thatâs the feminism I grew up with: encouraging people to recognize that fighting sexism and restrictive gender roles helps folks of every gender. Weâd push back on the idea that feminists hate men, pointing to inclusive feminist literature and how many men are feminists.
Now, there are so many people insisting that the solution to patriarchy is to openly hate and ostracize men no matter what. Why? What is the benefit? Itâs certainly not effective in fighting oppressive structures to exclude half the population from your cause on the basis of immutable traits. It may feel cathartic to say horrible things about men and try to punish them for your frustrations with patriarchy. But the only actual effect I see is the increasing right-wing radicalization of young men, who are being told that the left hates them for the way they were born and presented with an abundance of proof that itâs true.
Why are we going back to treating men and women as different species? It doesnât fix things to say âwell women are the good gender and men are the bad oneâ this time. If you sincerely want to dismantle sexism, youâre going to have to unpack and let go of all sex and gender essentialismâeven that which considers women inherently pure and men inherently immoral.
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i thought you would be happy with buck getting his oh moment and realizing his feelings for eddie but i guess you really were sucked into the bucktommy fanon created huh. Shame that you won't be able to enjoy canon buddie when it happens.
This is the only message I am going to answer about this specifically since I initially brought the topic up on my blog.
So, first of all, by definition, BuckTommy isn't fanon. Fanon is a ship or character that is completely generated by fandom. Buddie, for example, is fanon. Although they share a strong platonic bond, their relationship is not textually romantic. They do not kiss. They are not textually established romantic partners. Eddie said in the last episode that he is straight. So Buddie only exists within a fandom context. Conversely, BuckTommy is established as canon. Buck has touched mouths with that man on-screen. They were established as boyfriends and, now, ex-boyfriends. So it is, quite literally, impossible for BuckTommy to be fanon, even if fans do extrapolate, embellish, or reconstruct that relationship for their own pleasure. So, that's number one.
Number Two: According to this fandom, Buck and Eddie have had their oh moments a combined total of six times now at least (3x15, 3x03, 4x13, and 5x11, to name a few) and absolutely nothing concrete has come out of these events. The shooting is the closest we ever got, and that was four seasons ago. I don't begrudge anyone for reading that moment at the end of tonight's episode within a romantic Buddie context. Go absolutely nuts and have fun with it. But to me, that moment, such as it was, was more of the same - Buck or Eddie look at each other a certain way, or have evident (non-romantic) feelings related to the other, fandom loses their minds, they speculate, convince themselves they're right, nothing happens, rinse and repeat. I'm personally tired of the spin cycle.
I said I wanted strides toward Buddie canon to be made crystal clear and that's still true. You clearly see things differently (and that's alright), but outside the Buddie fanfiction hivemind, tonight's episode was not crystal clear. There was no discussion of Buck's feelings. He didn't vent them to Maddie or Bobby or Eddie himself. He didn't say, out loud, or indicate in any explicitly romantic way that he has feelings for Eddie. Buck having feelings about Eddie leaving is not the same as having feelings for him. They are best friends. They are family, actually. If Eddie leaves, Buck is losing the anchor to his support system and his (pseudo-)son. That's a big deal. That is an extraordinary weight to carry, especially on the heels of a significant breakup, and especially while dealing with abandonment issues. There was nothing romantic about that and, reducing that moment to a romantic reading, seems... odd. To me.
I'd like to think I'd still be able to enjoy Canon Buddie if it happens tbh. I actively write fic about those two in my spare time even though I keep my conversations about them to the DMs. But if I'm not able to enjoy it, it won't be because of the ship itself, it will be because I finally tired of the abject cruelty that's cropped up in this space. There's this unspoken rule in fandom that what happens during hiatus stays in hiatus, and we all just silently agree to move on from it when the show comes back. But I'm having a hard time with that this year because I've seen and experienced some absolutely insane things from this fandom the last few months that have stuck with me. So. Maybe I won't still enjoy it, but I hope I will.
I was really angry with the (non-Buddie related) content of this episode when you messaged me, so you probably thought or hoped I would bitch and curse you out, and we'd do this whole back and forth thing that would inevitably lead to you getting blocked. But I meant what I said - I have no interest in arguing with anyone about this show. We're not going to agree, and that's okay. I'm not your inspirational Buddie Warrior, and that's also okay. I have too much to deal with than to actively engage in internet beef. What is is what is, whether you or I or both or neither of us like it, and arguing about it isn't going to change it. So we might as will just learn to live with it and each other as best as we can.
I'm going to go watch TV now.
#I was on my way to bed but my raspberry sorbet is about to be delivered. So. Plans have changed. Lol.#jack answers mail#tv: 911#911 spoilers
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HIII SNOWFLAKE iâve never requested anything b4 but your writing is just too good shdjsbsđ”âđ«. anyway my request is stepdad!adam x fem!reader. he hears his name from her room and so obviously he goes to check up on readerâŠ.and is pleasantly surprised to see that GASP!! his sweet little stepdaughter touches herself to the thought of him??? adam is willing to help her out but the guilt he feels is sickening. ILY YOUR WRITING!!!
JDHCJJDJDN I LOVE YOU COSMII MUAH!! since i unfortunately donât write for specifically fem!reader, iâll be making the reader gn BUT theyâll be an AFAB :P
i had so much deranged fun writing this btw <33 KEEP YOUR REQUESTS COMING PRETTY PLEASE!! :3
CW: Dead Dove Content, Incest
donât like, donât interact! thank you! â€ïžïž
wordcount: 2.4k (iâm insane.)
reader is referred to as; kiddo, kid, honey, babydoll, love bug <3
NSFW, 18+ â
why did men have to be so fucking stupid?
okay, to be fair, it wasnât men specifically, it was boys. boys on your college campus.
they didnât see your worth.
your mother always encouraged you, and gently told you how lucky you were for your looks. but it didnât really help your self-esteem when your bio dad left. even with your mom assuring you it wasnât your fault.. a small part of you felt guilty, even after it had been near a decade.
Adam started as a family friend.
heâd come to all of your birthday parties, family gatherings, and more. if only you had known what a scumbag he was..
the real reason why your dad left was because Adamâs dick was just too. damn. good.
he had walked in, and she was getting railed from behind, right on the kitchen table, where your poor dad had spent countless hours doing your math homework with you.
âsuck it, cuck!â
Adam laughed, his sharp canines glinting, landing a powerful hand on your motherâs behind.
mother like her own kiddo, eh?
she remarried to Adam only six months after his leaving. you didnât mind as time passed. you liked Adam; you enjoyed his company, and he often gave you whatever you wanted since he was loaded with money. he had paid your college tuition in full, aiding you to not have any student debt.
Adam had watched you grow ever since you were just nine. but ten years can make someone develop quite a bit.
he had remembered your first period, and that was when he had first gotten the sick twisting in his gut. what the fuck? when Pinocchio was starting to appear, the sickness turned to guilt. how the fuck could he see his little love bug in such a light?
the guilt slowly became carnal.
if there was a field of strawberries, with a ten foot tall fence.. heâd climb it if he was hungry enough.
one night, Adam came to your room, wanting to talk to you. but he heard the faintest sound of ruffling..
it sounded like your bed.
Adamâs first thoughts went to there being a boy in your bed. his fists clenched at his sides reflexively, and he could feel his jaw clenching. swallowing, Adam decided to put his ear to the door. fuck, he felt like such a pervert, but it wasnât the worst thing in the world, right?? i mean, he could be killing puppies, or-
âfuck, Adam..!â
wait..
did his sweet little love bug just call out his name?
Adam had to stabilize himself, a hand on the door, taking deep breaths, trying to make sure he was in reality and not some cruel dream.
âAdam, daddy.. please,â
he heard your breathy tone, and a soft, faint buzzing coming from your room. Adam bit his lip, a hand sneaking down to gently palm at his growing bulge. he had to stifle a groan through the flesh of his lips, nearly drawing blood. fuuuuckkk..
your noises, the activity you were doing.. you were the most prized, yet most forbidden fruit to ever exist. and boy did he want to sink his teeth into it, feel the juices drip down his chin, as if it were a summerâs peach. he knew you were still a virgin. anytime you would get a date, Adam would sabotage, your date somehow falling ill, or (literally) falling. sometimes it would get so bad to the point where Adam would scare you from going out with other boys.
he had been plotting. he was greedy. Adam was a selfish, sick, twisted man.. but who wouldnât want their little beloved baby to themselves? isnât it what every dad wants? to be connected with their kiddo in every way possible?
Adam turned away, fearful, and not wanting to startle you. heâd take care of himself.. you were just exploring. heâd help you out some other time, maybe when the guilt didnât make him want to throw up, or when he knew that you werenât a scsry resemblance of your blessed mother.
the world was cruel. the devil would somehow catch up to you, and for Adam, it was making him fall in love with his wifeâs flesh and blood.
the next morning, Adam made you some childhood pancakes.
ïżœïżœïżœgee, i havenât had these in forever,â
you said, happily digging into the pancakes with chocolate chips in them.
âonly the best for my beloved love bug.â
Adam said, warmly patting your head and kissing your forehead.
after eating, you grabbed your bag. Adam stopped drinking his coffee and set his book down, glasses against his nose.
âwhere you headed, lovebug?â
âoh, this guy invited me to go bowling.â
Adam checked his watch.
â.. at 9 oâclock in the morning?â
he asked, quirking a brow in suspicion.
âwell, yeah. they open soon, and we wanna get there early since itâs a Sunday.â
oh! of course Adam was having fucked thoughts about his kid on the holiest day of the week!!
âoh, uh.. yeah, of course,â
Adam grunted, trying to hide his sheepish grin.
âyâknow, this olâ man gets lonely, with you being gone so much.â
Adam said, scratching his stubble. it made you weaken, your smile widening as you came over to him. just like when you were a kid, you climbed into his lap, sitting there at the kitchen table.
âdaddy, iâll never be too old to let you go. i swear on it. itâs just a date! iâll be okay, i promise.â
you said.
âbut you wonât be okay.. you need me.â
Adamâs thoughts were getting clouded with hunger again. but he hid it well, smiling as he kissed your cheek. once, then twice, then the third time on your forehead, making you giggle and squeal.
âokay, kiddo.. just be careful.â
he hummed, golden eyes full of adoration.
oh, he was fucked. your date.
âmy parents wonât be home for hours,â
your date panted, pulling his shirt over his head.
âsweet..â
you said, already a little apprehensive.
he noticed this. his name was Mike, you remembered.
âhey, whatâs the matter? we doing this or what?â
Mike asked, looking you up and down.
clearly, when Mike had taken you bowling, the real bowling had only lasted thirty minutes..
but who can say no to a free hookup?
snapping out of your daze, you nodded quickly.
âyeah! just.. letâs do it,â
you muttered. Mike climbed on top of you, and you ran your hands through his black locks, kissing him. it felt so fake. it was as if Mike was made of artificial sweeteners with a dash of Steevia.
âow-! fucker, clip your nails!â
your barked when Mike tried to finger you bone dry.
âwell itâs not my fault! youâre not even wet!â
he argued back.
âbecause you went straight to my pants! youâve gotta warm up,â
you said, pouring. Mike scoffed and threw back on his shirt.
âthanks, bitch. my bonerâs completely gone..â
oh, so now it was your fault! great!
âwhatever. see ya, Mike,â
you said, grabbing your jacket and zipping your pants back up, leaving out the door.
Adamâs car was already outside of Mikeâs apartment.
you didnât even question why or how Adam was there. the second you got in the car, you began to sob. Adam held you, gently cooing and shushing you, attempting to soothe you.
âshh.. what happened, lovebug? talk to me,â
you couldnât even stammer out the words. all you could do was shake your head, tears of frustration and shame in your eyes.
âi wanna go home..â
you blubbered, feeling Adamâs thumbs tenderly brush away your tears. he pressed soft kisses all over your face, letting his lips linger when they were just a few centimeter from your plush lips.
âof course. anything for you, kiddo.â
Adam had the radio on, and you were curled up in the passenger seat. you were pissed. primarily at Mike, but also your own foolishness. why couldnât you get aroused with Mike? it was making you feel guilty and gross.
âwhen we get home, you tell me what you want for dinner, okay? your mom is going to be home late, so we can have whatever you want.â
Adam said, a hand gently going to your knee.
you looked at him. just the touch of Adam, his large hand nearly taking up half of your thigh.. fuck.
then your heart began to race, gears twitching and flicking in your brain. this was your step dad! you werenât supposed to think of him like this? he had taken care of both you and your mother for the last good portion of your life, and the one way your mind wanted to repay him was through grotesque deeds?
âbabydoll? you in there?â
Adam asked, gaining your attention once more.
your eyes blinked a few times, the dissociation ending.
âi asked whataya want for dinner, but your mind seems somewhere else.â
he chuckled, smirking. you blushed and began to stammer, but Adam cut you off, his grip on your thigh tightening.
âthat boy.. he didnât hurt you none, did he?â
Adam asked, nearly growling.
âbecause i swear to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, if that son of a bitch did anything to you-â
âno! he didnât do anything, dad!â
you gasped out, squirming. his nails were digging into your pants, almost tearing the fabric.
you stayed in bed for the first hour of being home, curled up and crying. you seriously thought it was your fault, not the fact that Mike was an asshole.
needing relief, you reached into your bedside drawer.
it was a simple magic wand vibrator. not too big or bulky; but bright pink with rhinestones on the handle, making it pretty easy to figure out what it was to any adult eye.
before you could turn it on Adam was knocking on your door.
âhey lovebug, iâm making dinner now, okay?â
âuh-okay, thanks, dad-!â
you squeaked, quickly hiding the vibrator under your bedsheets, making them rustle a little.
âyou okay in there, kiddo? youâve been in there ever since we got home..â
Adam ended up letting himself in. the first thing he did was open your curtains, muttering about how you needed some light, and the immediate shine made your eyes burn.
âAH! dad, what the fuck-?!â
you shrieked, throwing the blankets off, rushing up to close the curtains.
both of your guysâ eyes lingered what was now exposed.
âoh god-dad, itâs not.. i just.. fuck,â
you said, sighing, head hanging low. there was no point in defending yourself.
wordlessly, Adam went to your bed. he grabbed the wand by the handle and turned it on, looking dead at you. his eyes were unreadable, and that terrified you.
âis this what you were using last night?â
he asked bluntly. the question made you almost blink like a frog, shocked.
âi-what?â
âi said,â
Adam pressed the wand against your crotch, flicking it on, making you gasp sharply. any sane person wouldâve pulled away, maybe slapped him, called him a pervert and ran away.
but you stayed still. in fact, you clung to Adam like a lifeline, trembling, jaw slack in pleasure.
âwell? answer me.â
Adam growled, a hand coming to grasp your chin, roughly tugging your face up to meet his, your noses touching.
âyes,â
you managed to whisper, squirming, the buzzing of the wand filling the room.
âyouâre fucking filthy, yâknow that? i heard you last night. calling out my name.. you werenât even trying to hide your lust,â
Adam growled, pressing the wand deeper into your sweatpants, watching your thighs tremble.
he had climbed the wall, sank his teeth into the flesh of the peach, and now his belly was aching. he was paying for it. an exchange of five minutes of pleasure for years to come of guilt.
you continued clinging to him, head in his chest, moaning and worming around. somehow, the wand felt more overwhelming when Adam was holding it. one of his hands were on your hip, holding you in place so that you couldnât run away, the other in your hair.
âshhh, thatâs it, babydoll.. iâm gonna give you what you need,â
he chuckled, dark and grinning like a maniac.
your hooded eyes looked up at him, hazy. you came with a silent cry, fists balled up in his faded shirt, grinding your hips into the wand at a merciless pace.
âthatsss itttt, yeah! good job, kiddo, thatâs it, cum for daddy,â
you never thought hearing Adam call himself âdaddyâ would make you gush, but it did, and you felt your belly curling in disgust at it.
when Adam turned off your vibrator and set it down, he continued to hold you, eventually laying you back down in bed.
âdad..â
you whispered. he looked at you, eyes soft. with tears in yours, you whimpered,
âwhat we just did.. was.. oh god..â
you choked, feeling yourself start to cry.
âbaby, no, shh, none of that,â
Adam said, gently kissing your forehead, then placing a kiss on your lips.
it caught you off guard, but you reciprocated happily. almost.. eagerly.
your tongues were soft as they tangled. when Adam pulled away, he nuzzled your nose in an Eskimo Kiss.
âAdam and Eve were the first humans on Earth, right?â
you nodded, a little confused on where he was going with this.
âthey had kids, right?â
ây.. yeah..? dad, why are you telling me this-?â
âlet me finish, and youâll know why.â
Adam said.
âso, they were the first people, right? and they had kids. well, if there was no one else on Earth to populate with..â
Adam made a motion. your eyes widened. i mean, it was kind of-no, it was really fucked up, the fact that he was trying to justify what had just happened. then again, the more you thought about it⊠was he not right?
all you knew was that you didnât want this to be the last time. hell no. even if this was taboo, and youâd have to cut off ever seeking a boyfriend, that didnât matter. all that mattered was Adam.
all you needed was your daddy to take care of you. right?
my sweet snowflake buddies!
@6esiree, @cosmiiwrites, @ithopi0s, @frxstwalker, @activesplooger
#hazbin hotel#adam hazbin hotel#adam x reader#Adam x you#Adam x y/n#Adam x gn!reader#dead dove do not eat#dead dove Adam#stepdad!adam
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Does no one else find it odd that magic that had been inhibited by the Malleus Key keeps being slowly and quietly returned with seemingly no changes to the key itself? Is the Solstice still stuck or is it simply progressing very slowly? Is anyone working on this in Exandria? Can we get some answers about this?
#filed under: posts written deliberately to be much funnier with my url#i am genuinely curious but i also think Essek would be like 'HELLO CAN WE LOOK INTO THIS WHATS HAPPENING'#alternatively he already has. it's possible honestly.#i could actually see the answer being that the apogee solstice is progressing very very slowly and has been since the bridge went up#specifically because it was not quite right when it was activated#but in that case I'm just like. okay but what does that mean for. everything.#is the bridge becoming weaker? is it possible the ley lines will shift enough that it breaks down entirely?#I just wanna know. i wanna understand. matt how are you conceptualizing this.#critical role#cr meta#also the answer to my last question is: we cannot cuz the hells simply will never think to ask đ#okay I'm going back to my course readings ANYWAY
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Time for more because. Because!
first off: wanna point this out: Meme games
The fact that the minigame format like Meme is used for WOTFI instead of the using the usual non-minigame challenges, or the choose your own adventure of WOTFI 2023 despite the whole âWe should really do this again sometimeâ
And Just... That's Puzzles' whole thing. Don't know what to make of that!
and... this
hehehe⊠sillies⊠Second, some stuff from other posts Iâve made and discussions Iâve had I wanna stick here so itâs all in one place. Colored text is new stuff if you've read the other posts already and don't want to read repeat info and musings. Alternatively if you havenât read the post and you want to. I got links.
First from here: Puzzles and Four both struggle with empathy to some extent. Four has more practice with the aspects of empathy that can be learned (cognitive empathy) but itâs still something he usually needs to actively think about, which is something he forgets to do sometimes. Puzzles sucks at just about every form of empathy. But they both still care very deeply for the people they consider friends (see reblog above about protectiveness)
Also Four and Puzzles both put people through torment for content. Puzzles with just about everything he does, Four with stuff like âI put Mario in Danger for Viewsâ âMario Does Literally Anything for Viewsâ and this
Next, this.
Mario only is friends with SMG4 as a result of not being the Mario he was before Four showed up. When Mario is briefly turned back during the Lawsuit arc, Four and Meggy make him back into the Mario they're friends with without any input from him. This sorta parallels the whole Leggy situation in a weird way. In addition, Puzzles brainwashes people to make them more entertaining and cooperative for his shows. The USB SMG4 arrived in did the same thing for Four automatically as soon as he arrived.
And!
We're talking about It's Gotta Be Perfect again. Puzzles gets a fatal error that tells him to contact the manufacturers, then we get eye imagery. Then we get the IGBP Goop.
Notably, this happens when Leggy is turned back into Meggy. In other words, when Puzzles loses his only friend and source of support. I've gone on and on about how what snapped Four out of it in IGBP is his friends and being reassured they'll always be by his side, and what that means for Puzzles. and this is just... another instance of that.
But with the Goop, there's something else. It seems to be tied to strong emotions, but the fact that it shows up when Four is worried about being left behind for not being good enough--and being reassured otherwise is what allows him to break free-- AND the fact that with Puzzles it shows up when he loses his only friend and wants her back...
And, well... This...
(Seriously what was up with the stuff that happened to Three in IGBP I feel like we donât talk about it enough) It's... well, it's something. Puzzles would do ANYTHING anything to not lose his friend, regardless of if said friend is okay with it. I don't know if Four's quite to that point, but he's... adjacent to that, at the very least.
The desperation to be seen... and the eye imagery associated with the Goop... itâs something
...Not wanting to be left behind, wanting to hold on to the people you have... wanting to be perfect...
Well... I mean, it parallels other characters, too.
(With Niles Specifically, I can't help but think that the Goop is some kind of virus similar to Niles/Eldritch Zero. I mean, it was invoked by an adware)
On the subject of characters other than SMG3 and SMG4 that parallel Puzzles, let's talk about Clench and Tari.
Both Puzzles' TV head Clench are prosthetics in a way, and Puzzles can transport people into TV shows, while Tari can, with Clench, do the same with video games. And for what it's worth, with Western Spaghetti, they're sort of on the same... frequency? Tari being able to interface with the simulation and hijack Puzzles' signal to bring forth dancing Mario.
AND
Oh and also Puzzle has parallels with Axol as well.
I mean just...
friendless childhood to becoming obsessed with media to creating that media (still obsessive).
And.. resourcefulness?
Yeah we'll call it resourcefulness.
Puzzles Parallels Post
feel like I keep repeating things over various reblog chains and stuff and my thoughts are never all in one place so. This where I keep linking said reblog chains. One of which has an endpoint that does not involve me but sshhh.
Mr. Puzzles and SMG4 have SO much in common. Four comes pretty close to Puzzles-level bad on some occasions and they share a lot of the same insecurities
I believe part of the reason Puzzles targeted Four in the first place (because I doubt âYouâre the stupidest show Iâve ever seen!â Is the only reason) is because itâs easy to exploit the insecurities of someone who has the same insecurities as you, because you know that feeling in and out. Even if for Puzzles he probably didnât have a lot of self awareness about it. Probably something more along the lines of âOh, this guy clearly cares the correct amount about pleasing an audience and the quality of his content! But heâs not even good at it! I can use this!â
The difference is that Four has friends. He has a support system to pull him out of it when these insecurities start to make him spiral. Puzzles does not have that and frankly seems to have given up on ever attaining it. Twice.
AND THEN THEREâS ALSO THE PARALLELS WITH SMG3
Because part of it is because SMG3 and SMG4 already parallel each other so you canât have Puzzles parallel one without the other.
But ALSO! Very similar motivations of wanting to be seen and appreciated. With a side of pettiness and jealousy. Also this
And this was also an incredibly SMG3 adjacent moment
But also the show keeps calling attention to SMG3âs difficulty making friends. Which is also Puzzlesâ whole thing.
I need them to actually go somewhere with this so bad. Because 3 and 4 might be the only people who can actually understand Puzzles. Or at least let them understand themselves better as a result of Puzzles.
I NEED the âYou and I arenât so differentâ moment SO BAD!!
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I forget exactly where I saw the initial post asking for volunteers, but on July 10th, I reached out to the listed email. Jane, the organizer, got back to me right away and within an hour I was added in their discord.
Up until this point, I had been maintaining an average 8 ESims myself, so I already had experience checking in on them on a daily basis. The folks there helped me onboard with the spreadsheets for keeping track, and now it's very easy for me to catalog new ones I buy and record daily data usage. The whole process takes me maybe 20-40 minutes a day depending now on how many ESims actually need to be topped off.
Jane has been very up front with lots of the group's information, with frequent announcements about the groups current funds and amounts of daily ESims sent out. She and the others have been super helpful with getting funds to us when needed, and I've almost never had to actually spend any of my own money for any of this.
In the time that I've been volunteering, they figured out how to run a Business account with the Nomad ESim company. Which means that now and then they can just send 15 or so ESims my way, and I just catalog them and send the QRcodes towards Mirna and the Connecting Gaza folks. No more wasting time with the purchasing process, while getting a bit of a bulk discount on top of that.
We also share updates on whatever brand of ESims are most needed. When folks on the ground tell us that one network doesn't seem reliable, we are able to switch over for a while until either the networking issue is fixed, or we all pressure customer service enough to replace them for us.
There's also lots of complaining about new UI updates an general website bugs. There's surprisingly a lot of them and it's good to know other folks are getting info from customer service when things go wrong.
In August they made a meme channel
Anyways....
Lets get into some stats for myself. In 2 months (July 10- Sept12) I have:
Send off 171 ESims
Maintained around 60 active ones
Topped up these active ESims 139 times
Spend over $6400 donated dollars
I have multiple power users who have burned through close to 100GB. 2 of them have broken 200GB. These are most likely being used as hot spots.
Why am I sharing all of this? Mostly to show how easy it has been to make a marginal difference. I have helped at least 60 people stay connected with the outside world in just 2 months. Probably more if we assume some of the power users becoming hotspots for other folks. This is 20-40 minutes of my time a day, and I honestly regret not signing up to do this sooner.
I was specifically limiting myself to this workload because I wanted to test the waters. Those stats was me specifically not wanting to push myself and see what impact a normal person could make with 20 minutes a day. At this point I think I will be taking more advantage of Nomad's Tuesday discounts to really bulk up my numbers. It's pretty easy to buy 15 or so every Tuesday, and then send em over.
If you would like to join us in this endeavor, please reach out to Jane at cripsforesimsforgaza(at)gmail
We are specifically looking for people in European time zones, since a lot of us are in the Americas and that's quite a difference between us and Gaza. If not, that's no problem!
If you can't participate, that's totally fine, but please donate what you can! Folks like you are the ones who keep us going!
I hope this information has been useful in some way. Like I said, I wish I had heard about this group sooner, with how easy it has been to do. I can track my direct impact of what my daily time is doing for folks, and seeing the data be used up a little bit more day by day gives me hope for everyone in Gaza. Thank you for your time.
#Initially I was gonna make this a whole comic#but then turns out I'm so tired nowadays and it went from a 1 month update to a 2 month update#free palestine#crips for esims#esims for gaza#palestine
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Okay, you know how bird don't ACTUALLY look the way we think they do?
They are far more colorful? But only to the eyes of other birds?
And it has to do with how light reflects off them and how their eyes are shaped etc etc.?
Well..... humans can see the most shades of green, right? But! We sure as shit can't see UltaViolet and InfraRed? Or shades BEYOND those. Ectoplasmic colors. Magical ones. Third eye, need to see with your SOUL type ones.
Danny? Could very well still have lil baby "kitten's eyes who haven't open yet" syndrome.
He thinks the Zone is Green and his hair is white.
But it's not.
His hair is Starlight colored. Frost. His suit is specifically "the void between stars" colored. Which looks... different? Then black? No, no, guys. How can you guys not see it? It looks REALLY different! How did he not NOTICE before?! They're not ever CLOSE to the same shade! It's like calling salmon and hot pink the same. You know... if you were to compare an actual fish and some irradiated, violently glowing version of "hot pink".
......guys?
His gloves are.... guys, these ares stars. Pressed so close together there's no gap. His body is the night sky, all rearranged. He's wearing SPACE, guys.
*continues to stare at his gloves for the next five hours*
Now... why is this relevant? Because! Danny slowly, as all humans do, adjusts! It's like finally having glasses after years of blurry vision. He... forgets, what it was like, not NOT See Zone Colors. Not completely, mind you, but enough he has to be reminded.
And the Zone? A Realm of the Dead. Specifically, the great catch-all and highway of the Dead. They get EVERYBODY. Misfits and vagabonds. Those who don't quite fit. Funky lil dudes. And of course, assholes, but everybody has those! See, Zone colors?
Are DIFFERENT.
They're all of um!
It's like looking at the technicolor, stobe light, multi galaxies in one, Sun. Tingly(tm)!!! You get used to it. What helps? Is that as garish as the Zone is? The painting and grand tapestry of it all? Keeps changing. Like weather. If it's too much for you, you can stay inside your Lair until the current Color changes. Until the designs shift. Vibe changes.
There are even glasses for that! "Temperate" areas for people to set up, that get headaches or are just... kinda killjoys. Too each their own. Though the stormy areas? Those guys are freaks. Watch out for those guys. They're the kind who stare directly are stars until their eyes burn out.
Where was I? Oh yeah! Danny!
No longer a wee baby, smol baby, twig-o!
Sad. We miss it.
But he did get used to Seeing The Colors. Got a handle on his powers. And! Finally worked with his parents on how to safely turn the portal OFF. There was much booing. Cries of "kill joy" and "booo! You suck!". But? Like? Dude DID have the right to protect his home. Go to college. What can you do?
Problem with THAT is? Baby grew into his "built like a brick shit house of constantly running off to literally tackle the Supernatural excellence" Fenton genetics. He Tall. Muscles! And he PUMPING out "somethings fucked up with me" Vibes!
Add in his DEEPLY Sus off hand comments. Weird ability to tell when someone has or is about to die. Basic immunity to the cold. Fuckin EYE GLOW?
Ha ha... *Horror movie screams from his college dorm mates*
Clearly a demon!
He gets kicked out. Well... not kicked out. He's a model student and broken no rules. They'd never survive the lawsuit. But... he's? STRONGLY INCOURAGED to finish his education elsewhere. Repeatedly. By like... 15 colleges.
Sam is not just livid, she's actively foaming at the mouth.
Breathe, Sam! Remember what your doctor said! Your mortal body can't handle that kinda Vengance spiral! Think of your blood pressure! Breathe!!! (Were not for the laws of this land... and the weak, fleshy constraints of her mortal form!)
Thankfully? Tucker's been interning, remotely of course, with Wayne Industries. He asked his manager where he could find some of those scholarship forms. (Since Gotham University is just a touch out of Danny's price range.) Manager wanted to know why. And oh! Oh holy shit. Apparently? Danny is the hot new office gossip.
People in the main office are OUTRAGED. Danny's "too spooky"?! Too FUCKIN SPOOKY!? Are you KIDDING THEM? Even juicier, a Meta kid from some wacky ghost hunters turned scientists. From a line of Supernatural hunters. Wants to be a aeronautics engineer.
Ooooooh how SPOOKY! Better watch out! He'll design an ENGINE at yooooou!
Fuckin casuals. Non-Gothamites are WEAK. "Too scary" their collective asses. Yeah, maybe the kid SHOULD come too Gotham. He can be the weird kid. Mildly unsettling or something. His powers won't be SHIT in Gotham. Just remind him to buy a gas mask.
So! Danny gets his Scholarship! Merrily packs his bags for darker, Gothic hellscape hills. Unaware... that Constantine has been following reports of a "demon" that he's? 80% sure is a Banshee but MIGHT be a winter spirt with a shtick? For the past 13 colleges. He's getting closer. And this sucker is a strong one.
Not "this is going to cause me serious, life imperilling danger" strong. But more? "Man, that cat is HUUUUUGE". Could he still get mauled a lil? Yeah. Scratched to all hell and back? Probably! But DIE? Unlikely.
He just needs to know why the FUCK this spirit his hanging around colleges.
Which is made harder... by the fact that what HE sees? And what OTHER people see? When they look at this guy? Separate things. Yeah, he'd LOVE to give you guys a description! IF HE HAD ONE.
@the-witchhunter @hdgnj @hdgnj @spidori @babbling-babull @nerdpoe @lolottes
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Day 4: market day
Masterlist flufftober đ
Reblog if you liked it!
You've heard a lot of people say that the honeymoon period only lasts the first few weeks of marriage and that after that things can start to get complicated. But the rule didnât seem to apply to you.
Maybe it was because you two were young and enthusiastic, because you were too busy missing him to think about arguing, or maybe it was just that you really were made for each other.
You often tried to steal as much time as possible from your husbandâs demanding job because being an FBI agent often took him away from you, and sometimes having a few domestic moments was all you both desired.
Grocery shopping was one of those activities that really made you feel like a married couple, and it saved you many trips to the store for food.
âWhich do you prefer? Soy or almond milk?â
âSoy has phytoestrogens and more health benefits in moderate amounts. Almond is for people looking to maintain weight, and although itâs healthy, itâs low in protein.â
âSoy, got it,â you said with a small smile at his intellectual response.
Every time it was grocery shopping day, your job was always to push the cart and grab an item or two within reach, but most of the time, Spencer was the one in charge of selecting your groceries. After all, he had a pretty extensive knowledge of the benefits of each food. He always wanted to take care of you, and since he was often away, one way he could do that was by ensuring you were well-nourished.
âLook, I found some tea,â he announced happily, making you look away from the yogurt section in the fridge to pay attention. âLavender, passionflower, valerianâŠâ
âFor your insomnia?â
âMhm,â he hummed, dropping the boxes into the cart âAnd some mint and lemon for you.â
âYou know me so well,â you smiled sweetly, leaning on the plastic handle, letting him gently caress your cheek.
You two had known each other for so many years that there were details about each other you knew by instinct. You knew his favorite brand of coffee, how he liked it with a specific number of sugar spoons, that you needed to buy him two sets of socks because he always liked mismatched ones, and you knew the exact spot on his head to stroke to help him fall back asleep after a nightmare. He knew you hated wearing shoes indoors, that you had a specific way of sleeping, and that you hated the smell of cinnamon. There were so many things you did as if they were second nature that it seemed impossible to list them all.
The truth is, people at Spencerâs work were quite surprised to find out that not only did he have a girlfriend, but that you were getting married. The event was private, very intimate, and not at all pretentious because that wasnât your style.
You both had no problem moving into a new, slightly more spacious apartment, now that everything was doubled. But you were managing it quite well, to be honest.
You continued strolling through the grocery store, staying close to your husband, and then remembered you needed some bread. You pushed the cart over and stood next to a woman who seemed to be in a dilemma, staring at two loaves of bread as if trying to analyze which was better.
âThe best one is that one,â you said, hoping not to make her uncomfortable. She looked at you confused, so you decided to speak again. âIt has less sugar and the necessary carbs for good nutrition. Thereâs a study about it; itâs true.â
âOh, sweetie, I wasnât looking for the healthiest, just the one with the best quantity and price. Itâs for my kids. Those children could eat an entire loaf in a day, and I canât afford that.â
You laughed honestly and gave her a look of understanding. She was a bit older than you but not old enough to be considered elderly.
âI think youâre right.â
âI love my kids, but I wonât lie⊠sometimes they drive me crazy,â she confessed, and you both laughed again.
âDarling, do you want me to make pasta for you this week? Rossi taught me a recipe thatâŠâ
He trailed off when he noticed you had company, and for some reason, he suddenly felt shy.
âThatâs fine, love. We can eat whatever you want,â you replied kindly. âI already have something to go with it.â
You winked at him when he noticed the wine you had tossed into the cart, and then he smiled and went off in search of the necessary ingredients.
âYour boyfriend?â
âHusband,â you corrected her. There was a strange pride in saying that.
âHusband! Oh, thatâs so sweet. How long have you been married?â
âWeâll be married for four months next week.â
âYoung love, so beautiful,â she sighed, as if nostalgic for a time that now seemed too far away. âAnd he helps you with the shopping?â
âI help him, actually,â you laughed. âHeâs the one who selects everything. Before we got married, I had the worst eating habits, and he hated that. So we try to eat better now.â
âMarriages are so different now,â she said, and upon hearing that, you expected to endure a conservative speech and internally dreaded it. âMy husband never joins me for things like this; heâs not even interested. In this and in much more, to be honest. And itâs nice to see that girls nowadays can have these kinds of relationships. You know, where theyâre supported.â
Somehow, that touched your heart, and suddenly you wished you could hug the woman, but you held back. Then, you looked over at Spencer. He was in the vegetable section, apparently comparing two bags of spinach. You could recognize him in a crowd without a doubt, with his slouched posture, his messy hair (freshly cut, by the way), and his peculiar formal attire.
You had always appreciated having the man in your life, even when you didnât have a romantic relationship, but you had never stopped to think how lucky you were that he had decided to love you.
âIâm glad too,â you said in what was barely a whisper.
You didnât say anything else. The woman said her goodbyes kindly, and you just smiled at her, too busy gazing at the man with loving eyes. You stood there watching him, and when he approached, he couldnât help but notice your strange expression.
âWhatâs up?â
âNothing. I just had a very revealing conversation with that woman.â
âHuh, yeah?â he hummed, dropping a collection of items into the shopping cart âAnd what was it about?â
âAbout you,â you answered casually, lifting your hands to place them on his chest and then sliding them to his cheeks âTalking to her reminded me that youâre the best husband in the world.â
Carefully and affectionately, you stood on your tiptoes and planted a loud kiss on him. Spencer laughed as his cheeks blushed, returning the favor with a gentle kiss on your forehead.
âI donât know if I am, but I try.â
âAnd thatâs why I love you,â you confessed sweetly.
And then, it was Spencer who felt lucky.
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#dr spencer reid#matthew gray gubler#spencer reid x you#flufftober 2024#prompt list#writing challenge#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid drabble
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So Iâm a minor (16 to be specific) and I frequently watch and read stuff with explicit sexual or 18+ content in it. I live in an extremely conservative Christian household and things like explicit fanfic are pretty much the only option I have for learning about sex that isnât abstinence only. I do feel bad about it, especially when I see adults online say stuff like âoh i watched lots of inappropriate things as a teen that i really shouldnât haveâ and it makes me feel like Iâm ruining myself in a way that I wonât realize until Iâm an adult? Right now I donât see what the big deal is but i get the feeling that when iâm 24 or something Iâll wake up one day and be ashamed of this for some reason iâm not mature enough to know yet. Should I just stop and wait until Iâm 18 to continue or what?
hi anon,
okay. I'm gonna hit you with something:
turning 18 does not actually change the way you feel about porn or sex or anything. the difference between being seventeen and 364 days and being 18 is nonexistent. there's not a magical switch that changes you as a person; that comes from lived experience. if you're 18 and your experience is still that porn and smut and what have you i something that you should feel bad about, it's still going to feel that way and a birthday won't change that.
look, the whole notion of "I saw [x] that I shouldn't have when I was young" is like. okay. so you saw something that was a little mature for you that you didn't quite get? awesome. did you die? no. most people's hangups about sexuality don't come from seeing a rogue titty when they were a teenager, they come from the culture that person was raised in that made seeing a rogue titty feel like something to be ashamed of instead of a completely natural part of life.
story time! when I teach my 4th-6th grade OWL classes (Our Whole Lives, great human development program) I always start by holding a meeting with the kids' parents. I've been doing this for seven years, and every time without fail some of the parents will recall seeing porn for the first time as a kid. these guys were kids when printed porn magazines were still a thing, so they were discovering them in all kinds of places - the bedrooms of their parents or their friends' parents, at bus stops, in the woods, once even stowed in some farm equipment. and they remember it feeling illicit and exciting, sure, and possibly making them confused or even horny for the first time in their young lives, but like... that's it. none of these people are irreparably damaged by seeing porn. in fact, they've grown up to be the kind of people who go out of their way to make sure their young kids are enrolled in a queer-friendly, body-positive, diversity-embracing sex ed class to counter stereotypes and misinformation they might receive elsewhere.
looking at things that arouse you is morally neutral. it can be a great way to help you learn about what turns you on, and even if it's not the best source of factual, realistic depictions of sex, it can still help you discover things - hell, I only figured out what the clitoris was by reading Young Justice fanfic (shout out Snaibsel).
you can't ruin yourself, at any age, with the media you like to consume. what makes you uncomfortable and anxious is the attitude you've been taught to have about that media, which is something that has to be actively unlearned, because it's certainly not going to just disappear on its own when you become a legal adult.
tl;dr obviously no one is making you watch porn and you shouldn't if it makes you uncomfortable, but if you drop it right now and come back when you're 18 don't expect to feel any different if you haven't done any more unpacking re: the conservative Christianity of it all.
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Saw this post floating around, donât wanna target anyone or argue with Zionists, but it is my duty (especially as an actually indigenous Jew) to educate well-meaning gentiles who might see this and think they have no right to speak on the matter. Iâll go point by point.
1) âIs it so terrible for a Jew to be a Zionist?â
If we were living in any other era, where the genocidal crimes of Israel were not as widely known (though they were very well documented), you could perhaps ask this question in sincerity. Many Jews (such as myself) grow up in religious educational settings which either fail to mention the human rights violations of the state or claim theyâre justified because âthey want to kill us!â Past a certain point, though, one canât continue to claim ignorance of what Zionism actually does. Short answer: yes, it is terrible for anyone to claim to be a Zionist, but this will be more evident as I continue to analyze these arguments.
2) âZionism is the belief in the inherent right of the Jewish people to return to their homelandâ
First of all, Palestine is not the âhomelandâ of the Jewish people any more than Siberia is the homeland of indigenous american tribes. Is there a historical connection? Yes, but though assimilation and migration Jews have found homes across the world. For me, my homeland is Mexico, because my family has lived there for generations, partly through migration but mostly through having cultivated the land for millennia. Even biblically speaking, Palestine does not âbelongâ to the Jewish people, it belongs to G-d. Furthermore, there is no shortage of Jewish scholarship and activism that asserts that wherever we live, that is our homeland. Frankly, Iâm more interested in fighting to stay where I am than fighting to force people out of their homes to accommodate me.
3) âZionism is the belief in the Jewish right not to be murderedâ
By murdering others instead? Once again, there is no shortage of Jewish scholarship and activism in favor of Jewish self defense where we live. Jewish resistance fighters lived and died fighting the nazis in Europe under the third reich. If Zionism was actually interested in preventing Jewish death, it would fight antisemitism where it is. âPreventing murderâ is not an excuse to commit genocide.
4) âthere are so many definitions of Zionismâ
Sorry but I just think of this tweet from @jewdas on Twitter when I read this: âThereâs a actual existing Zionism which practices apartheid and denial of human rights. But thereâs another Zionism inside my head which is all rainbows and kosher marshmallows, so who can say which is the real Zionism?â In other words, the actual, material consequences of Zionist beliefs are more important than what any individual thinks their Zionism is. Once again, we live in the Information Age, where anyone can easily learn about the damage that Zionism has done in Palestine and abroad. There is no excuse to continue using the label that doesnât presuppose complete ignorance of Israeli violence.
5) âzionists just want to be safe from antisemitism in the diasporaâ
See points 3 & 4.
6) âand this is different from evangelical zionistsâ
Materially speaking, not really. Once again, see point 4. Until you pull all US/european colonial support for Israel, this claim falls flat.
7) âzionists just want to live peacefully with other indigenous people in the areaâ
Thatâs not what indigeneity is, it doesnât mean âfrom there,â itâs a specific relationship to the land and to its cultivation. (On a side note, even biblically and historically speaking, Jews are not âfromâ Palestine.) See point 2. Zionism has proven it is not a peaceful ideology. See point 4.
8) âpeople refuse to see the difference in types of Zionism because they hate the Jewsâ
No, itâs because there are no material differences. See point 4. Evangelical Zionism and Jewish Zionism actually share quite a bit in common. The âJewish stateâ would not exist without evangelical Zionists. See point 6. And the original Jewish Zionist thinkers had a vested interest in tying the two together.
tl;dr, Zionism is a violent ideology in practice, and no amount of making excuses can hide the fact that it is genocidal and serves European/American interests. Additionally, just because one is not Jewish does not mean one does not have a duty and an obligation to eliminate Zionism wherever it crops up. Zionism has had disastrous consequences for Palestinians, and as western citizens, we benefit from their suffering. It must end now. May Palestine be freed in our lifetimes.
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What is your opinion of AI? Personally, I think that like any technology, it depends on the user and their intentions, but that is just me.
What about you?
1. Theft
The most central issues with AI as it is now is that the programs were trained/are trained with STOLEN art. Stolen visual art, music, writing, etc.
The vast majority of what it has been fed is stolen. As in, the artists behind the work were not ever given the chance to consent nor be compensated for their works being used to feed the machine.
This reason alone is straight up copyright infringement and the optimist in me does believe the long arm of the law is gonna shut these programs down for that. But the long arm of the law is looooooong, and the technology is disrupting peopleâs livelihoods now. Unlike robots or machinery that was invented and built to expedite assembly line/factory work, this technology is only functional by using other peopleâs labor. If we didnât live in a society where you have to âearnâ your right to live in it, then this would still be wrong, but it probably wouldnât be such an existential problem.
There are active class action lawsuits for infringement of copyright. And the private sector has begun filing suits and Iâm quite certain theyâll win because againâitâs simply theft. These companies did not make licensing contracts, theyâre not paying royalties to the artists they stole from.
So if you consider using ai that generates âartâ (whether it is visual, music, writing, etc.) please consider stopping immediately, as you would actively be benefiting from theft (which is wrong imo!!!!)
2. AI in its present form dishonors the human spirit
In my personal relationship with AI technology, I do not use it to generate ideas or âartâ. I detest the notion to use technology in that way tbh. AI is a form of technology, so itâs difficult to break it down into every specific use it actually has. But hereâs an attempt; no to generative AI, okay to certain AI.
There are kinds of AI programming in the programs I use (such as features that help you color in a shape quickly or make a perfect circle). This is useful tech (that requires zero IP theft) and I like it because it helps me by taking care of tedious tasks so that I have more time to spend in the creative and drawing processes. But I still choose the colors, I still draw the images, I still write the stories.
I think the way AI is used right now with a focus on âcreative thinkingâ (where itâs not actually creating anything itâs just churning out other peopleâs *stolen* ideas and practice) is a total waste. AI being used as an assistant to help humans find information easily can be/has been swell. And requires no theft :D
But for whatever reason (greed, capitalism are my guesses), tech companies are leaning into a direction to replace creativity with AI?? I imagine the people behind this view the practice of art as tedious work because it is challenging??
But the beauty of art and the practice of it is that it allows humans to experience and overcome challenges with little to no stakes.
When society determines that is not a valuable use of human time, then I think weâll all be significantly more miserable. If we allow a machine to be âcreativeâ and leave us to only experience challenges with stakesâlike survival (rent, putting food on the table).
So here are some examples of how I feel about AI uses;
AI to translate languages, find resources, discern malicious malware/spam from harmless messages > đđœ
AI to generate ideas/art for you > đ€ą Why??????? Why would you want thatâŠthatâs the most exceptional part of the human experience and you relinquish it to a bot trained on stolen ideas? đ
#didnât think my opinion on ai would ever be relevant on this blog#but since people have taken my shit and put it in ai#and Iâve seen more ai images of HAZBIN characters#I guess it has become relevant#this blog is anti-ai âartâ#so if youâre into ai âartâ#PLEASE GTFO
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Hey there, I hope I'm not spamming your blog too much
Also long ask ahead I'm sorry
I would actually enjoy the idea of Batfam with a reader who tried to impress them/ bond with them trough their hobbies
Normally it's only done in neglect fics(no hate to those I love them) and id love to see the reaction in a more fluffy scenwrio
Dick? Reader shows up to every single a acrobatics completion he takes and cheer for him the loudest , and one day come up to dick and show him they won first place in an acrobatics competitons turns out reader has been practicing in secret to impress dick
Jason? Reader constantly exchanges books with recommendations with him, and pays full attention when they rant about how good/bad a book is, one day reader shily approaches him and offers him a book they wrote and published themselves
Cass?(Warning I know nothing about ballet) Reader always tries to get her tickets to shows she's interested in, and even gets her meet and greets/autograph with her favorite dancers, one day reader offer her a single ticket for a new shows , with the excuse that they could only get that, and turns out that reader is actually the main dancer in the show
And obviously with Damian reader is often with him when he paint, and if damian feels like talking, they ask him about what methods he's using and what "vision" he has for his painting, eventually reader ask him to judge their paintings.
(im skipping Steph and Tim, because
The ask is getting too long and because with Tim, his hobby is genuinely investigating mysteries, so that'd s bit complicated since it's mostly vigilante related work,and I don't remember if Steph has a Really specific hobbie that reader can try, she's would just be happy to spend time with them)
Hey! No worries about spamming :)
If you're trying hard to get along with them, then they get very excited and that leads to fluffy scenarios!
Dick would love to do acrobatics with you and he would make for a great mentor. Usually, Dick is known for being annoying, but this is only when you don't engage enough with him. However, when you do engage with him, he becomes a regular, affectionate older brother.
After you finish your daily acrobatic training, he usually carries you to your room and brings you whatever you want. Water? Of course, right away! Food? Alfred's already making it! You want him to put a film on? Yes, hopefully you don't mind him watching it too :)
Jason adores the fact that you like his recommendations when it comes to books. It's not that nobody else in the manor thinks his suggestions are good, it's just that he most values your opinion.
His favourite moments are when you and him are sitting in the library during the evening, drinking hot chocolate and reading books. Neither of you are talking, but the silence is comfortable. Sometimes, he stop reading to look over at you, but you don't notice, because you're so immersed in the story. He probably looks for more books to recommend to you, intending to sit in the library in silence again.
Tim has many hobbies and many hobbies that you are unable to take part in. However, Tim makes it quite easy to spend time with him. For example, watching films with him is something he suggests often. Somehow, Tim always know what you want to do without needing to hear you say it, so if a new show came out, he immediately runs to you and asks if you want to binge it with him.
Watching shows isn't the only thing you two do, though. Tim also enjoys talking to you about anything. You have a new hyperfixation? Tim is the FIRST person you have to tell, because he probably also has the same hyperfixation lol. Somehow, the two of you resonate on every possible level and that makes any mundane activity entertaining if both of you are present.
Stephanie didn't know what to say when you asked her to play the piano for you, but she couldn't just refuse, so she played for you. You can imagine her delight when you asked her to teach you how to play. It takes a while to learn to play the piano, but that just means she gets to spend more time with you :)
Cassandra is delighted to hear that you like ballet as much as she does. She would practice ballet with you and plan choreographies to challenge you a bit. Whenever a show worth watching came up, she would be the first to buy tickets for the two of you.
Much like with Jason, Cassandra is also comfortable with sitting in silence. She doesn't need to have a conversation with you to feel seen by you, just being in the same room is enough for her.
Painting with Damian has become a regular afternoon activity for you, though by "painting with", I mean "getting painted by", because as much as Damian believes in your ability to make great paintings, he sees something in you that makes you the perfect muse. Whenever he paints you, his paintings end up being brighter, they make his other paintings look bleak in comparison.
He finds himself adding some of your charm to other paintings. Whenever he paints a landscape, it looks empty without your favourite flowers in the field. If he paints a room in the manor, he adds some of your objects, perhaps your sweater is hanging over a chair in the corner, or your headphones are on the table in the living room. Now he is unsatisfied with every painting that doesn't have a hint of your presence in it.
#dc comics#rorii talks#batfam#platonic yandere#platonic batfam#jason todd#dick grayson#yandere batfam#tim drake#x reader#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere x reader#yandere damian wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere#platonic#batfamily#batfam x reader#batfamily x reader#yandere cassandra cain#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#yandere stephanie brown#damian wayne
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You've been through many trials and tribulations that have only made you stronger! I'm getting specifically that you don't look like the things you've been through. From the outside, you actually look perfect, or your lifestyle does. People would never know the sacrifices it took for you to get here though. Most people wouldn't have even made it through some of the obstacles that you've faced. I also get the vibe that you're very reserved with your energy. Kinda like you don't speak unless spoken to. Not in a bad way though. You could be an ambivert. ENTJ? INFJ? You don't have to do the most to get attention, it comes natural to you. You know how to stand alone. Never been a "follow the leader" type. Your balance and stability are surprising as well. It could be because of your age. Or maybe you used to live a reckless lifestyle but managed to pull yourself out of it. I feel like you have a tendency to go ghost for awhile, but then randomly pop out on some new sh*t. People can never keep up with you. You're an enigma. It kinda frustrates people tbh.đ On the flip side, you are very loving to those closest to you. You always trust yourself and follow your heart to wherever it leads you. You are your top priority and will always make sure your cup is full before giving to someone else. If your love is not being reciprocated, then you will simply leave. Your love is intense.â€ïžâđ„ You could be a gift-giver or you enjoy doing acts of kindness. You always know what to do/say at the right moment. Lastly, your star qualities are VERY attractive to others.đ€© You're so humble about it too. You could be an influencer or have an active presence on social media. You have a lot of copycats and people that try to emulate your energy. It never really sticks though.
Confirmations: Confident, Intellectual, 777, Sarcastic, Smart-ass, Mixed signals, Intimidating, 1010, Charming, Promiscuous, Friendly, Competitive, Creative
You always find a way to turn your pain into power! It doesn't matter how many hardships you face, you never let it keep you down. You're always onto the next best thing. Always looking towards the future. Someone here likes to take solo-trips often or you enjoy hiking/being in nature. You often come up creative ideas or new ways to make money. Always willing to learn something new. That trait of yours is highly admired by your bosses/higher-ups. You work very well with others. When people work with you, it quite literally increases their luck and money flow. So be mindful of who you share that energy with. You are such a kind and loving individual, even at your lowest. Give yourself more credit boo!â€ïž You're very committed to your self-improvement and personal goals no matter what you go through. That's something to be proud of.
Confirmations: Famous, Sexy voice, 111, Friendly, Funny, Someone here has a cat that is very clingy, 444, Pretty skin, Hermoine from Harry Potter, Elusive, Life of the party, Genuine, Beautiful, Seeing 8's everywhere, Someone here owns an exotic animal or you want one
You know how to transmute any negative energy/situation that is sent your way. You are an alchemist. This is my witchy pile.đź You like to play fair and see both sides in situations. Very unbiased. However, you'll also put a b*tch in their place if needed. Cause I'm getting that people like to come into your energy to test/bully you for some reason. But you shut that sh*t down real quick.â
You may be very introverted, or you have this innocent/naive vibe to you. A lot of people blindly trust you. They know you would never try to cross them. You're a big risk taker. You might do something unconventional for work. People love how you march to the beat of your drum always. You might spend a lot of time alone or you keep a close-knit group of friends. You're not afraid to stand alone whatsoever. Nobody can steal your happiness. That is what's most powerful about you.â
Confirmations: Genuine, 911, 818, Mysterious, Intoxicating, 717, Witch, Self-absorbed, Pretty eyes, 737, 777, Uptight, Predator, Intellectual, Elusive
You're more than what meets the eye. From the outside, you seem very shy or monotonous even. But you're a true gem baby.đYour charisma and charm is one of a kind. You stand out without even realizing it. Your wit and sarcasm is very attractive. You have a very unbothered vibe to you. In your own lane, and outta the mix. It makes me think of "Daria". You might go ghost pretty often. You're very big on self-care and your alone time. On the go a lot. âïžPeople feel like they can't get ahold of you anymore. You're very focused on self these days. Me vs. me kinda energy. You're a natural creator. Very artistic and out of the box. You might've been this way since childhood. You're often the topic of discussion to those around you. People really enjoy having you around, whether you know this or not. You're a sweetheart once you truly open up. People feel lucky that they took the time to get to know you. You're a true friend.đ©·
Confirmations: Clingy, 111, Wife, Light skin tone, 222, One night stand, Player, 999, Mixed signals, Addict, Psychic, Lazy, Outgoing, Eccentric
đPlease do not copy, repost, or steal my work. Thanks!đ
I missed you guyss xx!!đ©·đ©·đ©·
#Spotify#tarot reading#tarot#pick a card#psychic reading#zodiac reading#collective reading#paid readings#fire signs#air sign reading#earth signs#water signs
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Jealous Lover
Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader
One-shot
Summary: Your eagerness for discussions regarding your favorite band leads to an argument with your girlfriend
Warning(s): Swearing, no pronouns but sam uses 'girlfriend' once, jealous!sam, drunk!tara, & mentions of puking/gagging
Notes: For all the fellow passionate music lovers out there, this one's for you. Maybe one day I'll dive into how I think punk/rock in general's played a role in Sam's life and how she's passed down her love for music to Tara
This is not how you wanted to spend your night. You were dragged out to a party you didnât even want to go to. You would much rather spend the night with your girlfriend. Much rather. But you kind of owed your friend since you always managed to make up an excuse for these things in the past. Her own girlfriend was out of town visiting family so you were second in line to be her plus one.Â
You were actually having an okay time, still missing your girlfriend, but you ended up having an interesting conversation with this guy you met while grabbing drinks for you and your friend. The conversation regarded music. You could never pass up the opportunity to go on and on about something you actively worshiped. But unfortunately, this little peace you found didnât last when from the corner of your eye you noticed a familiar figure tumbling her way over to the couch. It was then you looked over to see your girlfriendâs little sister sitting with her friends.Â
Ah, crap.
You knew for a fact she was not supposed to be here. You thought about what was in store for her when she got home before excusing yourself and walking over to her.
âTara,â you said to get her attention. âHey, uhââ
She looked up from the couch to you with a bright smile plastered on her face before getting up and wrapping her arms around you, momentarily catching you off guard. You almost forgot she was a clingy drunk.Â
âLook itâs Y/N!â She shouted to her friends as you subtly winced from her volume.
âYeah, itâs me,â you shortly laughed. You looked over Tara to see her friends, Mindy and Anika, wave to you in which you returned with a nod. âI'll take this from here,â you told them while helping Tara up after she tripped on her own foot.Â
Mindy gave you a thumbs up while Tara started to slump in your arms. âTara?â You looked down to see her wearing a more tired expression that matched her sluggish demeanor. Another thing you noticed in the time you knew the girl is that she had quite a bit of mood swings.Â
âLetâs get you home,â you said with a comforting pat on her shoulder.Â
â
Sam could not believe Tara. She specifically told Tara no to the party she was now off to retrieve her from. She just got home from her therapy too, Quinn had accidently slipped and told Sam where Tara was before going back to her room. As soon as Sam heard this, she rushed to put on the jacket she had just taken off.Â
âThat sneaky little shiââ Sam was reaching for her taser but stopped once she heard the locks on the door begin to turn, stopping in her tracks. Tara walked through the door, hiccupping and giggling, as you held her up.
âYou Carpenters are really something when youâre drunkâoh, Sam! Hi!â You stopped walking, now looking at your girlfriend like a deer in headlights. You knew she would be home by now. You knew you would have some explaining to do. Yet you still found yourself unprepared as you saw her standing right by the doorway because she was presumably getting ready to hunt down her sister.
âI have a perfectly good explanation for this,â you said.
She furrowed her eyebrows, tilting her head as she crossed her arms and looked at you. âReally? You do?â She looked so intimidating, so in control of the situation. It was so hot. But you had to focus.
âMhm,â was the only thing you managed to muster.
âThen, please, enlighten me because it looks like my sister snuck off to a party against my wishes, yet you seem to be aware of that part. So, care to tell why you didnât throw me in the loop?â
âOkay,â you lightly sighed. You nodded your head in the direction of the living room and Sam followed. You laid Tara on the couch before you finally spoke. âWhen I went there, I didnât know she would also be there. We just ran into each other and as soon as we did I brought her here,â you calmly spoke and you could see Sam slowly start to ease at your words.Â
Yet that ease only lasted so long before a drunk Tara pitched in. Sam was about to reply when she was cut off by the younger Carpenter. âAnd some guy was flirting with Y/N,â she said before stretching out her arms and dramatically yawning.Â
Always an instigator.Â
âSome guy was what?â You could hear it in Samâs voice that any ease you brought her disapparated. If her voice didnât give you anything, her expression certainly did; her eyebrows were scrunched as she clenched her jaw and flared her nostrils.Â
âIt wasnât like that,â you quickly tried to reassure your girlfriend. âHe noticed the album cover on my shirt and he said it's his favorite album. A conversation struck up but it was nothing more than two fans expressing their mutual appreciation for a band and their music.âÂ
âYou talked about music?â Her tone was defensive as she adjusted her crossed arms, attempting a stoic stance to cover any hurt she felt upon hearing what you just revealed.Â
She knew how much you valued music, what it meant to you. It isnât like your love language, it is your love language. When you first started hanging out, instead of the typical bouquet of flowers, you made her a playlist, gifting it to her on a CD. Now she finds any excuse to listen to it 24/7, never growing sick of the intimate playlist you constructed with songs that you said made you think of her. Even on your first date with the older Carpenter, the two of you talked for hours discussing all the greatsâfrom Kurdt Cobain to Jimi Hendrix. Sam also had a connection to music, growing up it was her escape from the outside world. So, inevitably, it played a big part in your relationship. You two met in a record store for Pete's sake. So yes, she grew a somewhat possessive once she found out you were discussing one of your all time favorite bands with a man who was supposedly flirting with you.Â
âYou sure thatâs all he wanted to talk about? Wouldn't be the first time someone's blatantly flirted with you but you were too oblivious to notice.â She let out a dry chuckle, her voice vindictive.Â
âYes, thatâs it. Music is all we talked about. What? Am I not allowed to talk to other people now?â You remarked, a little more unapologetic than you intended. Sam didnât have a jealousy problem per se, she just had trouble drawing the line between possessive and protective. Often, those lines blurred to the point where even you had trouble telling them apart.Â
Fine, maybe she did have a jealousy problem.
âTalking and flirting are two different things. Excuse me if I donât want my girlfriend conversing with people who want more than musical insight,â Sam defended pointedly.Â
âYouâre saying that as if he was all over me. The point is he wasnât.â Your patience was thinning as you were running out of reassuring words to say.Â
âIâmââ Sam had begun but was once again cut off by Tara who was now gagging.
âShit, I think Iâm gonna puke!â Tara shouted as she tried to make it to the bathroom. You and Sam rushed to her aid, the both of you desperately hoping that you would get Tara to the bathroom in time.Â
â
After about an hour of holding Taraâs hair back as she pukedâyou and Sam rotatingâyou and Sam finally managed to put a very pouty Tara to bed. As Sam adjusted Tara's pillow, you pulled her blanket over her and adjusted the sides. Sam kissed her forehead and you followed with a light pat on her head before the both of you said âgoodnightâ to the now snoring girl.Â
Upon hearing the soft click Taraâs bedroom door gave from gently closing it, the two of you let out exhausted sighs. You both walked to the kitchen, Sam leaning against the counter as you opened the cabinets looking for a mug.
âYou want some tea?â You asked your girlfriend, already grabbing the lavender tea she stored in the drawers just below where the mugs were kept.Â
You glanced over to see her nodding, giving you a nonverbal answer. You got the tea kettle out and filled it with water using the kitchen sink. You then placed it on the stove, set the heat to an appropriate temperature, and then placed the small box of lavender tea to the side for when the water is finished boiling. Another moment of silence passes before you divert your attention from the kettle to your girlfriend.Â
âSamâŠâ You finally spoke in a gentle voice.
âI know.â She wasnât curt with her words but understanding.Â
You lightly exhaled, making your way over next to Sam. You leaned against the counter before asking, âAre you gonna talk to me or just try to wait it out like every other time?â You werenât demanding but genuinely asking her.
You looked at her, your faces not so far apart, you saw the reluctant and shameful look she wore. This made you slightly furrow your eyebrows as you looked at the woman.Â
âI hate the thought of you with anyone else,â she answered. She looked to the ground in shame. Shame for letting her thoughts consume her like this, shame for letting it lead to an argument with you. What if you discovered just how deep her jealousy ran? You would leave her, thatâs what. At least, thatâs what she told herself would happen.
You lifted her chin with your free hand so she would look at you, but you saw her eyes hesitate to comply. âLook at me, Sammy,â you told her and it was enough for her to listen. âIâm yours and only yours. No one else can have me like you do. No one else,â you said with great truth.Â
Samâs heart skipped a beat at your words, melting at how your thumb softly grazed her chin. Your touch could have her crumble in mere seconds. That scares apart of her, but another part of her can't help but admire it.
âI was being ridiculous.â She shook her head, still feeling guilt for giving you a hard time for talking about something youâre passionate about.
âThatâs in the past now.â You gave her a smile thatâs always been enough to brighten her days. âJust know youâre the only music dork I want in my bed,â you teased.
A gorgeous smile grazed Samâs face at this comment. âOh, yeah? I feel the exact same way about you,â she said as you both began to lean in.
âGood, we balance each other out,â you flirted back right before you two closed the gap between you, your lips meeting halfway. Her lips were warm and soft, and you could taste her nightly cigarette on them. You tilted your head and parted your own lips to deepen the kiss and give her tongue access, but the forgotten tea kettle on the stove whistled, interrupting the kiss before it could escalate.Â
You and Sam broke apart, slightly panting, as you both wore shit eating grins. âI should go set up the tea,â you said with warm cheeks.
Sam nodded with an, âOkay,â but her eyes never pulled from your back as you prepared the tea. She subtly walked up behind you, putting her hands on your hips and rested her chin on your shoulder.
âSammy,â you lightly laughed in an excited surprise.Â
âBring the tea to my room and donât take too long. I wanna finish where we left off,â she whispered into your ear in a husky voice. You could feel her breath against your neck due to this, your heart racing in response.Â
Sam sauntered off to her room, but not without leaving a kiss just below the corner of your jaw. If you noticed her taking a subtle bite then you didnât comment. The kiss sent shivers down your spine, and after snapping out of the daze Sam put you in, you quickly went back to the tea. You never made tea so briskly before tonight.Â
Later, Sam kept on her promise. She may have left a few hickeys for the world to see but you could never prove she did it with possessive intent.
That was just for her to know.
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A/N: and if I said y/n was wearing an 'In Utero' shirt?? (ofc, imagine whatever shirt you'd like)
#sam carpenter x reader#sam carpenter x you#sam carpenter x y/n#sam carpenter x female reader#sam carpenter#melissa barrera x reader#melissa barrera x you#melissa barrera
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On "Consuming Content"
Every now and then a post crosses my feed that follows the vein of, "you have to do things other than consume media or else you'll be a dumb person who doesn't know anything about how the real world works and does nothing but pointless fandom stuff."
I hate those posts for three major reasons, not counting the inherent ableism and classism of "you must have approved Smart People hobbies or else you're worthless" rhetoric:
You don't know what people do or talk about outside of what you see on their social media. Responding to fandom communities on a fandom-driven website as if all these people are one-note cardboard cutouts of people is asinine. In many cases this genre of post feels like repackaged 2012 tumblr "not like other girls" and hipster discourse. Yes, yes, you think you're better than everyone else on this website because your hobbies are less mainstream, more morally pure, and have greater intellectual merit, we get it.
What do you even mean by consuming content? As someone who purposely avoids using the phrase "consuming content" because I find the term too vague to be useful, please be more specific. Are you including every single form of media engagement and art enjoyment? Are you just talking about mainstream TV and film? What about novels? Plays and scripts? Nonfiction books and instruction manuals? Do you mean to imply that going to a book club is a worthless non-hobby? Are you including academic reading? Are you including going to the art museum? Going to the theatre, concerts, or other performances? Taped liveshows? Watching sports events on TV? Are you including news media? Are you including YouTube tutorials about how to do various tasks, crafts, or other hobbies? Are you including trade magazines? Are you including industry publications in various fields? What constitutes "content," and what constitutes "consuming" in this discourse? Define it. "Consuming content" is a nothing phrase that people use to mean multiple different things depending on what they, personally, judge as valid media. It's a buzzword at best, and when the same buzzword can be used to describe both "idly scrolling social media" and "reading and discussing a book," it's a meaningless phrase.
As an artist and author, if engaging with media is bad and worthless, am I supposed to conclude that making it is equally worthless? If "consuming content" is a bad, lazy, worthless, fake hobby, what makes creating art a worthwhile pursuit? If I am constantly being told as an artist that engaging with media isn't a worthwhile pursuit in its own right, and the people who want to engage with my art are just brainless fandom losers, what incentive do I have to make that art anymore? Furthermore, to everyone reading this paragraph and thinking, "that's not what content creation is," I refer you to bullet #2: If the phrase "make content" can be used to mean "low-effort posts made to advertise cheap and useless products" as well as "being a novelist" or "getting a gig as a writer on a TV show," it's a meaningless phrase.
None of that is even getting into issues such as the way influencers are preyed on by both brands and targeted harassment from trolls. Influencer culture has major issues, but boiling those issues down to "stupid vapid young people who are too lazy to make real art or get real jobs" (which is a mindset I see frequently online) is unhelpful. So many people pursue influencer deals because they're living in poverty but are skilled at various social media and advertising related tasks, and just like any worker, they're being exploited because they need to eat. Labor rights for influencers are a huge topic that entertainment industry unions have been actively discussing and working toward. (Related links for further info: [x] [x] [x] [x])
"Consuming content is not a hobby" is a worthless statement unless you define what you mean by both "consuming" and "content." Quite frankly, you also need to define "hobby," because if you're putting requirements on what is and isn't allowed to be a "real" hobby, you mostly just seem like you're moving goalposts and defining "worthwhile hobby" as "hobby I, personally, think is good." Use more specific language to articulate your actual problems with the entertainment industry, the art world, influencer culture, or whatever else you're actually upset by.
Media and fandom can involve any number of enriching, satisfying hobbies that take up a perfectly acceptable and healthy space in someone's life. If you aren't into it, go find hobbies you do like and stop policing how other people spend their precious free time in this nightmare hellscape of a world.
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Hey love, could you pretty please do an Aaron x reader where itâs there wedding day and she starts getting real bad anxiety about marrying him. Not because she doesnât want to but because she feels like he is surrounded by so many amazing people who uplift him that she could never compare. Just in the mood for fluffy comfort Aaron đ„č
enough
cw; fem!reader, a LOT of angst but it's comforting??, heavy 5x9 references (i'm sobbing actually), anxiety descriptions, aaron cries đ, comfort and a happy ending don't worry!!!! wc; 2.4k
"nervous jitters?"
"you could say that." you replied - while staring off into space, while bouncing your crossed leg, while kicking your slipper on and off your heel. your head moved downward as your fingers clutched onto the seat of the chair you were sat in, harshly enough for your knuckles to turn white.
jj pulled the curling wand away from your face an inch, "careful, try not to move."
"sorry."
yet another wave of guilt rippled through you, as this wasn't how you should feel on your wedding day.
last night, you were surrounded by the people you now consider family, celebrating a new chapter. or rather, a beginning. aaron's permanent grin was engraved in your mind; you've never seen him so carefree, happily conversing with his colleagues, gazing at you as if he'd won the lottery (to him, he had). you were positive there wasn't a second where his arms hadn't been wrapped around you.
before parting ways for the night, he had pulled you to the side, to a more secluded area. he gave you long, sweet, deep kisses, holding your body close to his, as you weren't going to see each other until the two of you officially, and finally, became one.
just as him, you had been on a similar high, more than ready for this next adventure, in pure disbelief that in less than twenty-four hours, you'd be a hotchner. so now, whatever this was, had quite literally come out of absolutely nowhere.
when you awoke this morning, rather than the excitement you had expected, you were greeted with an empty, terrifying pit in your stomach.
as the day carried on, pre-wedding activities in full motion, it followed, and the void within only grew and grew. it was gravely unsettling; you were more fidgety, on edge, you hadn't been your usual talkative self. and despite being surrounded by your newfound family - jj, penelope, and emily more specifically - you couldn't help but choose to remain alone in your thoughts.
jj studied your face through the mirror, before securing your hairpiece in place. "there." her hands found your shoulders, giving them a comforting squeeze. "sit tight, i'll be right back."
you nodded, blinking your eyes to prevent the budding tears from slipping - and to not ruin penelope's handiwork, mascara sure to stain your cheeks. she left, leaving you alone.
but as promised jj returned no more than five minutes later, only she remained at the doorway, her head peeking in. "someone's here to see you."
after giving you a consoling smile, as if she knew - profilers - she vanished, leaving door slightly ajar.
your hand had only just touched the knob when the door moved a centimeter back, slight pressure holding it still to refrain from opening fully.
"don't open it all the way."
"aaron?" at the sound of his voice, you fought the instant urge to sob. but the utmost amount of comfort filled you too. it took a second, but you found your voice, "you're not supposed to be here."
"well technically, i just can't see you."
"still." you insisted. your tone was flat, rather than being full of giddiness due to your future husband sneakily paying you a forbidden visit - like it should've. "they're going to be looking for you."
"then let them." aaron answered simply, not concerned about that in the slightest. "are you alright?"
you immediately fell silent, and aaron patiently waited a minute, but still - nothing. the extended period of quietness, scared him, given the day's event.
please, not cold feet.
and given the current circumstances, there was only so much he could do. aaron dropped his hand to his side, weaving through the small gap. "here, give me your hand."
your hand quickly found his, the promptness allowing aaron to breathe. the familiar weight felt like home; your hand always fitting perfectly within his. your hands always cold, his warm. yours soft, his rough.
his thumb drew circles on the back of your hand, an invitation to open up. "what's on your mind?"
you bit your lip in thought, taking a heavy enough breath aaron could hear it without straining his ears.
"honey?"
"first, i want to preface this that i do want to marry you. i don't want you thinking otherwise." your voice was firm, meaning every word.
"okay..." here was a brief hesitancy in his voice despite your promise; a tinge of worry, some question. however, he managed to keep his voice steady, for the most part. you, however, still recognized the waver of uncertainty.
"just," you released a breath, your voice small. "i envy you."
aaron was quiet for a moment, and when he did speak, the confusion was obvious in his voice. "you envy me?"
"you have," you took a breath, gripping onto his hand. "so many wonderful amazing people around you... i don't even know where to start. they've been with you, stuck with you, for far longer than i have. how do i compare to that? god, dave's practically paying for this whole thing. because of you, for you. no matter who you would've married, he would've done exactly the same. i'm not special."
"sweethear-"
"i want to be enough for you." tears pinched at your eyes, your hold on his hand lessening - which frighteningly felt like you were letting go completely. "you deserve," you took another breath, and this one rattled through you. "everything. and i'm afraid i never will be."
aaron only clutched onto your hand tighter, refusing to part. his eyes squeezed shut for a moment, taking a silent, deep breath. "are you wearing your dress yet?"
after all that, you weren't too sure of how he would respond, but you certainly hadn't expected that. "no? once-"
aaron released your hand. and after looking in both directions of the hall to be certain he was in the clear, he swiftly entered, the door clicking shut behind him.
"aaron." you stared at him, your eyes wide in alarm. you barely had the time to process him in his tuxedo, or have the thought to push him out. "you can't be-"
"enough?" aaron looked at you, baffled. exasperation, pain, and love all present in his eyes. "how can you say that?"
"i-"
"you... are everything. my everything." he moved to your left, pacing away for a moment, quickly internalizing a way to get it across solidly, so you wouldn't dare question otherwise again. he blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "did i ever tell you, what haley told me before she died?"
you blinked in surprise, but shook your head. while you knew the story, offered reassurances after nightmares and the topic of haley had never been off limits, aaron had never gone into detail over... the final moments. you never pushed, never asked - if it was something he chose to keep to himself, to have that part of haley close to him and only him - of course you respected that. they were vulnerable, painful memories, not easy to relive.
he sobered, his posture and expression changing before you, alight with a ghost of the past. a tender, solemn fondness was in his tone as he recalled the line. "'love is the most important thing.'"
your eyes studied his face, silently urging him to continue.
"and while our relationship had it's hardships, she wanted jack to believe in it - love - and had me promise her that i'd show him."
"aaron..."
"he believes, because of you."
"i-"
"i believe," his eyes found yours, full of a sincereness you've never seen from him. "because of you."
you opened your mouth to speak again, but no words came out.
"haley was right." he chuckled softly, with a small shake of his head, "honestly, and while i understand why now, for a long time i was furious she made me promise that. because i wouldn't be able to keep my word. before that... day, i'd already given up. lost hope that i could find it again, that it was even possible, or whether i deserved it. haley and i were together for a long time, you know that. being with her was all i knew, what i was used to, and part of me thought maybe someday, we'd manage to work things out. and suddenly, she was gone. it was too late - i was too late. i failed her, and i'd continue to fail her."
"and then you came into my life, and turned my world around completely. never did i think i would love again, let alone get on one knee and ask someone to marry me. but here we are. here you are."
aaron took your face into his hands, as delicately as he possibly could - as if he feared he would break you.
"because of you, i kept my promise to haley. jack knows, he sees the love i have for you every day. and although he 'ew's' at the sight of us kissing here and there, he'll grow up understanding. he'll know the importance, as promised."
"and you saved me. you saved from a looming downward spiral. i saw it happen to gideon, it's happened to countless others within the bureau, and i could've been the next. i told someone once; it's consuming, this job will eat you up if you let it. but instead of letting it, instead of ruining my relationship with jack, you managed to pull me from that impending darkness i was headed toward."
tears were continuously trickling down your cheeks, utterly speechless.
"you're enough. god you're more than enough. and if that doesn't... i'll prove it to you everyday if i have to. if you'll let me." a broken exhale left his lips, choked up. "i promise."
still unable to find the words, and actions speaking louder, your fingers grabbed onto his tux, pulling his body to yours and wrapping your arms around his middle, burying your face into his chest. in the back of your mind, you made a mental apology to penelope, and hoped you weren't soiling aaron's dress shirt too badly.
aaron's shoulders dropped at the contact, in relief. he pressed his lips to the top of your head, his arms wrapping around your shoulders and holding you close. next, he's the one who took a shaky breath.
"so, i'm the one who should be afraid."
"what?" your voice cracked, peering up at him, your chin on his torso.
"baggage." aaron sighed, tearing his eyes away from yours, his hands running along your back soothingly - or rather, to soothe himself. "i'm the widowed father. i'm the one who's never around. i'm the one who's scarred, in more ways than one. i don't want to limit you, to keep you from a life you've always imagined for yourself. like i did with haley."
"don't say that."
"every day, i wonder why i'm the one you chose to be with. wonder why you love me. i think that it's too good to be true, that i'll wake up. or someday, you will."
"aaron."
he sighed, tears sliding down his cheek.
"you are not scarred, aaron hotchner." you cupped his face and angled him so he was looking at you, wiping the droplets away with the pads of your thumb. "far from it. the life i imagine, is with you. this is it." you found it in you to let out a small laugh, refreshing after the morning you've had. "that's why i was so worried."
he also couldn't help but laugh gently through his tears. "you shouldn't be."
your hand slid to the back of his neck, winding your fingers through the nape of his hair. "you've, very unfairly, dealt with the unfathomable. the unimaginable. but that doesn't make you broken. i find it admirable actually, and it's one of the things i love about you. you're strong aaron. to go through something like that, and come out on the other side of it, both the tragedy and the recovery part of it. a lot of people wouldn't be able to do the same."
aaron looked at you, listening, his head tilting as he leaned into your touch.
"despite what you think, you're a good father. i adore you with jack. and with the horrors you see, every day, you still come home with a calm face. you never fail to give us your all - your sweet loving self. you're always present, even if you're physically aren't here. because you're out there making this world a safer place for so many others. for jack, for me. you really don't give yourself enough credit."
aaron remained silent, his gaze beginning to tear away from yours. but you stopped him, with a finger under his chin to direct his focus back to you.
"you may have scars, but they aren't you. they may contribute, but they aren't you."
"are you sure?" his voice fell to a whisper, eyes desperately searching yours, his own dampened.
you nodded earnestly, your bottom lip quivering a small amount. "i've never been more sure of anything. i promise."
and with that, aaron's lips found yours, kissing you even more deeply than he had the previous night. from the urgency that soon developed, it was clear just how needed this conversation was, on both ends. providing closure, clarity. the kiss sent a buzz right through you, instantaneously making up for the all the lost time you had spent brooding.
you forced yourself to pull away - only when air was needed, and to simply stop. you would've gladly kissed him longer, and aaron likewise, but the two of you were on a schedule.
his forehead fell against yours, a rather boyish, adorable smile on his face. "so, are we good?"
you nodded, your lips pulling into a smile as well, the giddiness you've been missing finally present. you reached up, gently blotting away any lingering tears of his. "we've always been."
"wedding still on?"
you rolled your eyes, gently smacking his chest and making him laugh. "duh."
"okay." he grinned, pecking your lips gently. "i better go. if someone catches me in here-"
"-you'll be in trouble."
"big trouble." he grinned, pulling your hands forward to bring you in for yet another kiss. "i love you. you never saw me."
you chased his lips - just one more. "never did."
aaron laughed, his brown eyes just sparkling. "i'll see you soon. you know where to find me, i'll be waiting."
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