#specifically IKEA

[mister-eames]

Sometimes I lie awake at night and wonder what other businesses Saito has purchased on a whim

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

y'all haven't lived until you've got lost in ikea unnecessarily walking in a circle with an injured leg and a cane that you're contemplating turning into a weapon kaz brekker style to murder some people out of pain

and all this while wap plays on your headphones screaming WHORES IN THIS HOUSE and you're going in search of a blahaj not realising it was right near the entrance because ikea's only goal is to trap visitors into its jaws

it's a lot of emotions it's the entire human spectrum and some eldritch ones as well

[hexational]

found family is my favourite trope im gonna project it into so many of these fuckers

(please ignore me rambling in the tags i didnt mean to)

[bookshelfdreams]

.

[pawnguild]

DRAGON'S DOGMA II — NIKOS iliopoulos ⚔️

[sevensimian]

Doodles of people wanted for manslaughter+ Ikea knives

[totally-ikea]

Anybody got any tips for getting into honors math? :3

[floorpancakes]

[hexjulia]

absolutely the worst when you ask people you know for ideas re: designing a folding table and they say something like "they sell those at ikea" you don't get it. :(

[n7punk]

You saw the cyber truck at a cult meeting? What kind of cult?

there's a mormon offshoot cult near me that meets like every damn day. that church parking lot is almost never empty in the evenings, and i know because there's a pokestop nearby so i go over there a lot lmao. they're there like all day sunday too i swear none of these people have jobs outside of the meetings.

[nymphinia]

This is going to make me sound like the biggest baby but finally having a djungelskog is life changing. The plushie ever. Perfectly snuggable in the most comforting sense, I could cry Im so serious

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

BACK WITH A BLAHAJ, WHO HAS NAME SUGGESTIONS FOR HIM?

HI MAGGOTS I LOVE YOU I WENT OUTSIDE PROPERLY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A FUCKING MONTH AND I WALKED WITH A CANE (I AM KAZ BREKKER) AND OKAY SO MY INJURED LEG MAY NOW BE RE-INJURED WITH A SPRAIN ON TOMMY THE HAEMATOMA BUT IT WAS WORTH IT I HAVE A BLAHAJ NOW:

WHY AM I ON THE FLOOR? BECAUSE SITTING ON CHAIRS IS PAINFUL FOR TOMMY DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT ANYWAY MEET THE NEWEST ADDITION TO THE MAGGOT FAM. ANY NAME SUGGESTIONS?

WHY AM I IN CAPS? WELL FIRST OF ALL IT'S ME, AND SECOND OF ALL IKEA OFFERS FREE REFILLS ON THEIR COFFEE. WHO AM I TO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT? I HAD A LOT OF FUCKING COFFEE WITH NO SUPERVISION EXCEPT BY @random-doctor-on-the-internet ON WHATSAPP AND ZE IS A CAFFEINE ADDICT SO I DIDN'T LISTEN TO ZIR HYPOCRISY.

AROUND THE THIRD CUP (FOURTH? I LOST TRACK?) I BEGAN TO SMELL JESUS AND I COULD FEEL MY ORGANS AND MY HEART. SO I HAD TO LEAVE THAT CUP HALF-DRUNK.

ALSO I WAS A FUCKING FOOL AS USUAL AND IKEA IS A DEATH TRAP. I ENTERED, FILLED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS OF NOT WALKING TOO MUCH ON MY INJURED LEG AFTER BEING BASICALLY IMMOBILE FOR FOUR WEEKS. I DIDN'T LOOK AT THE MAP (I'M BAD WITH MAPS) AND INSTEAD CHECKED THE LIST OF SHOWROOM THINGIES AND IT SAID THE CHILDREN'S SECTION WAS NUMBER 9 ON THE LIST OF 1 TO 10, AND I WAS AT 1, NEAR THE RESTAURANT.

SO NATURALLY I DIDN'T READ NUMBER 10 AND I SET OFF THROUGH THE WHOLE FUCKING MAZE OF SHOWROOMS WITH MY CANE, STEP CLICK STEP CLICK, WITH MY POOR RIGHT LEG AND MY RIGHT ARM ALTERNATIVELY SUPPORTING MY WEIGHT. I ALSO GOT LOST. MORE THAN ONCE.

FINALLY I REACHED THE CHILDREN'S SECTION, PROCURED MY BLAHAJ, SAW A TINY WHALE WHO'D FALLEN OUT OF HIS BUNDLE AND ALMOST TOOK HIM TOO SINCE HE'S UNSELLABLE BUT THEN ABANDONED HIM COZ I DIDN'T HAVE THE BRAINPOWER TO EXPLAIN TO THE CASHIER THAT IT WASN'T ME WHO RIPPED HIM OUT, AND ANYWAY. I GOT WHAT I CAME FOR.

THEN I THOUGHT AH SHIT GONNA HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE RESTAURANT AND I TOOK A STEP FORWARD AND REALISED... I WAS AT THE FUCKING RESTAURANT???? WHERE I'D BEGUN???????

BECAUSE THE NUMBER FUCKING NINE WAS CHILDREN'S SECTION AND THE NUMBER FUCKING TEN WAS THE RESTAURANT. I'D WALKED IN A CIRCLE. AND LANDED STRAIGHT BACK. I COULD HAVE AVOIDED THAT IF I'D JUST READ THE LAST ITEM ON THE NUMBERS. OR LOOKED AT THE MAP.

OH AND THE PLACE AT THE METRO DIDN'T HAVE WATER SO I DRANK SUGARY SODA AND THEN WENT UP THE WRONG PLATFORM ANYWAY SO TOMMY IS FUCKED NOW I MAY HAVE SCREWED UP WHATEVER PROGRESS I MADE.

HALLELUJAH!

IF YOU READ THIS FAR WOW THANKS I LOVE YOU *BITES YOU TO SHOW AFFECTION* ANYWAY AGAIN THE BLAHAJ NEEDS A NAME AND HAVE A LOVELY DAY I'M SO COFFEE ANEHEHEHEHE

[artemisbarnowl]

Communications is my job so I know I'm really good at it but I also know it takes effort. And I'm a sort of open mouth before engaging brain person on my time off so I often think I don't get to be profound or impactful with my off the cuff convos with friends. Although recently I have had people listen to my random sentence. Sit. Repeat the sentence. And then sorta think on it some more and say something like 'youre so wise.....' which is wild because I'm a silly goose really. A silly goose with depths perhaps, but still silly.

[adam-raki]

I bought a gift for @the-black-kaiser based on some advice.

So, he has a plush bear waiting on his doorstep with a note attached to it. I figured that, well, it's cold in Montana. He probably sees a lot of real bears in the woods.

I hope he likes it, or at the least doesn't hate it.

I can't help but be nervous about it. I don't want things to change for the worse.

[puppianqueen]

the ikea husky sweep is real