#southpark oneshots

[southparktegreity]

gen. dating headcannons + short story [ SOUTH PARK X READER ]

[ kyle broflovski x reader ]

[ kenny mccormick x reader ]

[ leopold 'butters' stotch x reader ]

gender : neutral cws : minor nsfw (kennys part) ! requested : yes (@h3artilly ! thank you for the request pookie! I THOUGHT THE STAN SAID KENNY LMFAOOO dw ill write u a stan one too <3)

NOTICE : these characters are aged up, and intended to be 19/20+!

a/n : my requests are open !!! (please request if you have anything you’d like to see me write!)

kyle :

asked stan for advice while asking you out, though stan's advice was something along the lines of "good luck bud" since the chances are, kyle already knows what he needs to do - he just needs to gain the courage to actually do it. i feel like he'd ask you to study over at his house and then would attempt to make a move on you, while you guys are taking a break he'll throw his arm around you. i definitely think he'll be a bit stiff at first, but once you lean into him, he starts to relax.

for dates, i feel like he'd definitely be into studying with you, but i don't think he'd consider that a date - more like you're just motivation for him to keep going and vise versa. so i think realistically he'd take you on a date anywhere you wanted to go! i definitely think he's not a fan of movie dates though, since he wants to be watching and talking to you, not a movie. he would also totally take you to casabonita, and would specifically make sure cartman isn't there on the reservation sheet just so nobody could get in your guys way. he'd take you all over the resturant, showing you the little arcade area, (he is definitely going to try and show off his basketball skills on that one basketball game).

kyle is definitely a lot more possessive than i would've initially thought. i feel like he (unintentionally) probably is very territorial with you. if a guy hits on you i feel like he'll definitely come over and throw his arm around you, you know making casual small talk, but his face would be pretty red from anger so needless to say the other guy probably would take the hint. i also think he'd probably express his anger later in the night by 'marking' you (with hickies), again very territorial.

big spoon. i repeat. big spoon. aside from that though, he wants to softly kiss your face and your neck, his arms around your hips and facing you. he wants to worship you! of course, when he's upset or doesn't have the energy to be the big spoon he'd ask if you could do it for sure. i feel like he also loves little gentle kisses across his face. i can definitely imagine him loving the lipstick trend. he also probably loves it if you play with his hair (just as long as you don't mess it up too much).

i feel like he's definitely more into the sort of 'classic' pet names, think like "sweetheart" or "darling". i feel like he'd really like the more elegant ones. he'd want you to feel like the queen to his king, worshipping you all the way.

"Y/n, could you be the big spoon this time?" Kyle looked at you, then down away from you as if he was embarrassed by his emotions and his wants.

"Do you even have to ask?" You spoke with a genuine smile, adjusting yourself so you were above him, wrapping your arms around his waist as he turned over with you. You couldn't help but place a few kisses on his neck as he turned over, gently tickling him as it caused him to let out a laugh.

"Y/nnn... stop that darling it tickleess..." He spoke unserious, his voice seeping with little giggles.

✧─── 《☆》 ───✧

kenny :

once he recognized how he felt about you, i feel like he was probably nervous but straightforward. i get the impression kenny wouldn't want to beat around the bush or make you uncomfortable if you didn't know the way he was thinking about you. i think he'd probably pick some flowers for you, and get some advice from karen as to what he should say to make it seem like he really cares and isn't just flirting with you for fun.

he'll definitely do his best to work as hard as possible, taking overtime hours to treat you. he wants to take you out to a nice dinner, candlelit with spaghetti - all the works. however, upon realizing he doesn't have enough money to treat you out somewhere expensive - he goes ahead and asks his sister for advice. they both decide they'll work on making a nice homemade spaghetti, and karen will dress up as a fancy waiter to serve you. it'll be candle lit (mostly so you can't see how his house is in ruins) and they'll both do their best to make it a magical first date as you deserve !!!

kenny definitely gets jealous, especially knowing how guys are (from experience of course (he's the type of guy he'd be wary of)). he's definitely the type to throw his arm around you whenever some man is flirting with you, and he'll probably go as far to borderline make out with you in front of him if he isn't taking the hint. though he definitely wouldn't do all of this if you weren't into it, i think he just likes to make a bit of a show out of the guy who's hitting on you.

definitely prefers to be the larger spoon when spooning, but i think his favorite way of cuddling his probably putting his head on your chest, and his arms around your waist. his spooning style reminds me of that one clip of the guy saying "titty in hand, dick hard on the butt ..." or smth like that - could also totally see him trying to make a tiktok with you using that clip (regardless of gender) ;)

definitely calls you sickeningly sweet pet names as a joke to tease you, like "how's my cutie pie buttercup doing today?" with a cheeky smirk as you probably look back at him in annoyance since you guys are in public. i think he probably says it so much that it slowly becomes unironic and he seriously starts calling you that.

You could feel Kenny squirming around behind you, his phone in hand - trying to get all the right angles. You looked over your shoulder trying to see what he was doing.

"Ken, why are you moving around?"

Kenny looked at you, then proceeded to start playing an audio "how to spoon : titty in my hand, dick hard on butt, kiss ya neck".

"...If you wanted someone to teach you how to spoon, you should've just asked me." You spoke with a smile, before taking his free hand and putting it on your chest.

Kenny felt like he could melt in that moment, his hands melting into yours and his body practically turning into mush.

✧─── 《☆》 ───✧

butters :

he definitely asked kenny for help and advice. i feel like kenny would probably tell butters to just go for it! kenny would definitely help him pick out a nice outfit for when he asks you out, meanwhile butters is getting you a huge bouquet of flowers and some chocolates for you. he'd probably mention in there that he didn't want to go too crazy with everything but he really does want to give you the world. i also feel like cartman would probably get wind of this and tell butters to do a public confession, because cartman thinks you don't like butters. but the look on cartmans face when you tell butters you'd love to go out with him... priceless. but so is butters! he'd run up to you and give you a huge hug and tell you that he'll pick you up at 7 at your house.

i feel like butters would probably want to do a picnic date. he definitely came prepared with tons of food and all different types since he doesn't know which is your favorite. he'll stay with you and eventually walk you home - but he ended up not getting home fast enough and got grounded. in return you'd end up taking him to a hello kitty café! though only after his grounding. i can definitely imagine you and him doing super secret facetime dates when he's grounded where you guys play videogames or like a board game on call. he'd love it if you snuck in while he was grounded, but he's SO nervous about getting caught or having his parents be on bad terms with you so it definitely wouldn't be all the time.

i feel like if someone tried to hit on you he wouldn't really know what to do, but he also has enough trust in you to be able to handle them yourself. it's not that he doesn't care, but more like he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable by stepping in if you can handle it ! though if it ever got too far and you looked like you couldn't, he'd probably put on his big boy pants and tell the guy to get outta there !!

i get the impression he would want to be on the same level as you. i think he'd want to be able to look you in the eyes while cuddling - or doing anything for that matter. part of it is because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable but also because he thinks your eyes are beautiful and wants to stare at your face. he'd most likely want to face you, and pull your waist towards him sliding his hand on your back. though he'd do it carefully and gently, treating you like a gentle flower that could move away anytime you wanted.

definitely calls you the most random and/or corniest pet names ever, think like "heya cutie-patootie-razarooie!". this definitely causes people to give you weird looks but i think it's part of his charm, and i'm sure you do too.

“Well heya there schnookums!” Your boyfriend Butters walks over to you just as the new kid was asking for your number. “Were ya in the middle of somethin’ with your pal here?” He spoke with a bit of envy leaking from his voice.

You shook your head, throwing an arm around Butters waist and looking back at the new kid. “Sorry.. I have to go on a date with my boyfriend.”

The new kid watched this go down, shrugging and walking away, leaving you and your boyfriend alone.

“Jee wizz, y/n. You’re really somethin’ else, you know that?” Butters placed a kiss on your forehead, moving some of your hair out of the way before taking the hand that was on his waist and holding it gently as you two walked off together.

✧─── 《☆》 ───✧

[jewbeloved]

Tweek with a gnome s/o who steals his coffee instead of his underpants☕☕🌈💖💖

ANOTHER WEIRD IDEA CAME TO MAH HEADDDD EEEEE!

Warnings: None

Gender: Neutral

💛 Tweek Tweak 🌈

Tweek was always confused and freaked out whenever he was in his room and he had to see small little gnomes come out of nowhere and open his drawers to steal his underwear.

He thought that his eyes were fooling him for a moment, until he realized they weren't. There are gnomes in his room stealing his underwears....

He tried telling his parents about it, but they didn't believe him and just told him that he maybe needed more coffee to calm down.

Telling his friends about the gnomes didn't work either since they also didn't believe him.

You always stayed behind whenever the other gnomes went to go steal his underwear, you didn't really have any interest in taking his body clothes because you didn't see the whole point of it.

You were more interested in the coffee that you see Tweek always drinking all the time.

You wanted to see why he always drinked coffee so you ended up stealing a mug full of coffee after his parents finished preparing it for him.

So Tweek ended up seeing both his coffee and his underwears going missing. This made him even more terrified.

When Tweek's parents weren't home since they were at the cafe shop, Tweek decided to take matters into his own hands and he was going to try and get rid of these gnomes so they can stop stealing his underwears and coffee.

After Tweek poured himself a cup of coffee from the machine, he turned his back away to start planting some traps.

You sneaked out of your hole to spot a fresh cup of coffee sitting on the kitchen counter near the machine. You have finally found out how Tweek gets his coffee.

Instead of picking up the cup, you went for the machine. It was pretty heavy to pick up and you were struggling a little due to how small you were.

You accidentally slipped off the counter along with the coffee machine falling downwards.

You closed your eyes until you fell into something warm and it broke your fall.

You opened your eyes to find that you had landed into someone's hand....a hand....?

You looked up to see the face of Tweek Tweak, and he had his other hand holding the coffee machine that fell off along with you.

You actually never got to see Tweek up close before and you had a feeling this wasn't going to end well since you saw him planting down traps to catch you and the other gnomes.

"Ack! so you have been ARGH! the one stealing all m-m-my cof-Ack!-fee!". Tweek looked at you with a slightly angry look as he twitched violently before he used his other hand to place the coffee machine back on the counter.

"I'm sorry! I was just really interested in that coffee you were drinking and I wanted to taste it myself....it tasted really good....". You paused for a sec.

"I don't have any interest in stealing your underwear like the other gnomes...I just liked the taste of the coffee you always drinked so that's why I have been stealing them behind your back...".

Tweek was surprised to hear this, he didn't think a gnome out of all the rest would want his coffee instead of his underwears.

"Please don't kill me! I'll stop stealing your coffee I promise!". You started stimming as you folded your hand to reduce the stress you were having right now by begging Tweek to not kill you.

Tweek looked at the traps he placed on the ground, it makes sense on why you begged him not to kill you.

"I-I won't ack! kill you...but don't ARGH! steal my coffee again without my permission!". Tweek placed you onto the table.

"What's your name by the way? ACK!".

"My name is (Name)....".

"My name is Tweek! but I think you already UGH! know that since you have been snooping around and stealing my GAHH! coffee..". You nodded.

Your eyes lit up in surprise and happiness when Tweek handed you the cup of coffee he poured earlier.

He had a smile on his face as he watched you drink up the coffee.

It's safe to know that you 2 might get along after all <3💛💛💛

I ain't reading allat👹👹

[behindthescenesoftaylor]

Moonlit Confessions Kyle Broflovski X Reader

In the small mountain town of South Park, (y/n) musters the courage to confess her feelings to her longtime friend Kyle, sneaking out to his window under the moonlit night.

Like always, if you have a request PLEASE SEND IT. 💋

This was it.

Today was the day that she would finally confess her feelings to Kyle.

Was she nervous? Yes, but what good would it do to just keep her feelings bottled when she sees him every single DAY? none.

(y/n) took a final glance at herself in the mirror before taking a deep breath and heading towards the window. The moon and the stars of the night cast a small light over the small mountain town, and the snow covered the ground like a fuzzy blanket. A chilly breeze entered her room as she opened the window, careful not to make a sound and risk waking her parents. Lord only knows what her parents would do if they found out.

Her room was on the first floor so it wasn't hard to hop out. Her heavy boots hit the snow-plastered ground softly, a small crunch could be heard. Once she was out she turned back around and gently shut the window, no turning back now.

She quickly walked to the house next door and looked up to the window of Kyle's room. She could see a brisk shadow walking across. It was going to be difficult to climb this, but oh well, she could complain later.

She climbed onto a large trashcan, then onto the roof of the porch, and finally to kyles window. After gaining her breath back she cupped her hands on the sides of her eyes and looked inside, oh shit.

He was changing.

Currently, all he had on was his underwear and he was putting on some gray sweatpants. She looked, dumbfounded and she couldn't help but look at his thin figure. He had a very toned stomach for someone his size and (y/n) could tell that basketball helped, alot.

Finally, she regained her composure and awkwardly cleared her throat before lightly knocking on the window. She waited a few moments, and to her dismay, he didn't notice. She scoffed and tried again, this time louder, and this time he noticed. He squinted his eyes a little before realizing who it was and widening his eyes. He quickly looked around before walking up to the window and opening it.

“(Y/n)?! What– what are you doing?!” he whispers in a panic.

“I want to show you something..” she replied casually, as if sneaking out at night to somebody's window was a normal daily occurrence, but in south park, it wasn't a surprise. It was like the time Kyle snuck to Cartman's window to make him a freckled ginger.

She gestured for him to follow her outside but he just stood there dumbfounded.

“What do you need to show me at 11 pm at night?!”

She sighed and pressed her hand to her head, stressed.

“Kyle, just- please?!”

He leaned his head back and sighed. “Let me put on a shirt real quick”

She blushed as she realized he was still shirtless and let out a little chuckle. He turned and picked up a black tee and his hoodie and put them on.

“Ready?”

“If I get caught I'm saying you kidnapped me”

(y/n) laughed as they made their way back down. her nerves were STABBING at her, maybe she should just say she was joking and turn back? No, she didn't want to feel tortured anymore.

She lead him to an unoccupied house across the street and motioned for him to follow her up on the roof.

“The roof?! (Y/n) you’re crazy sometimes”

She just smiled and shrugged.

“Help me get up to the porch roof, there’s no trash cans.”

“Then how will I get up there?”

“With your long ass fucking legs, now help!”

He shook his head and held out his hands for (y/n) to step onto, she stepped up and then he gave her a lift, which by the way was so powerful it almost made her hit the wall of the house.

“Goddamn Kyle, you should be a cheerleader” (y/n) says while waiting for him on the side. She watched him use a fence to climb up, and slowly but surely he made it. Once he was up there he was out of breath and sat down with his hands on his knees, he looked at (y/n) and playfully scoffed. “If you become one, sure”

She laughed in disbelief, her, a cheerleader?! She was too busy with softball/volleyball (take your PICK) for that, not to mention they were both in the same season so she couldn’t really play, it wasn’t like she was going to give up her sport just so she could yell and cheer on other sports.

“Yeahhh, hard pass” she said before stepping on the top of a window seal and climbing the rest of the way up to the 2nd story roof, she looked down to see Kyle getting up.

“Jesussss, your so slowww” she whined, making herself comfortable on the roof and sitting down.

“And your slow-headed so i guess we’re even.” He smugly replied back, also climbing on the window seal and hopping up to the top of the roof. When he got up there he sat next to (y/n) and then she laid down. Her back was met with some snow that was left on the roof from the snow storm earlier today and it made her shiver a little. He looked confused but he also followed her actions, laying down on his back with his eyes pointed towards the sky.

“I have always loved the moon-“ Kyle looked to (y/n) while she looked up, he kept staring as she continued to speak “i find it.. relatable sometimes. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true.” She took a deep breath and looked at Kyle, their eyes meeting. “It’s because the moon is always present, but never fully revealed, but Kyle i don’t want my feelings to be like the moon anymore.”

He tilted his head in confusion as she went back to staring at the sky. With one more final deep breath, she let it out.

“I like you Kyle, I’ve always liked you ever since your dumb self approached me at the bus stop that one day. For the 8 years I’ve been your friend I’ve watched girls and girls who don’t even deserve you pass you up like some garbage! I don’t see how they could do that because i dreamed every night that one day I’d be with you, holding you in my arms-“ she laughed, “now I’m just getting creepy”

Kyle sat there, dumb founded, he turned his head back and too, looked at the stars.

“Please say something.” She whispered.

“(Y/n), me and Heidi are talking right now..” he said lowly and her whole world shattered. Fuck.

“Just kidding” he quickly said, making a HUGE scowl come on your face.

“You are so not funny” she shook her head as he laughed loudly, his red curls bounced with his rythm. God he was perfect.

His laughing stopped and he began to speak, “(y/n) i like you too”

Her head quickly turned to meet his eyes and a huge smile spread across her face. “What did you say?”

“I. Like. You. Too.” He then scooted closer to her, now on his knees before settling into a criss cross, she followed him and too sat, now their knees were touching. She looked into his glimmery green eyes and he looked to hers. “I have loved you for so long, I just didn’t think you would love me back.” He said.

“Love?”

“O-oh i mean if- if you don’t wan-“ he got interrupted as she gently grabbed his head and leaned in, their lips meeting. Kyle instantly melted into the kiss, taking her waist into his large hands.

Their passionate kiss quickly turned into a makeout session and he moved his hands to her hips, pulling her in closer. There wasn’t an inch of either of them that wasn’t on the other. He parted from the kiss and slowly pushed on her torso, making her lay down on her back. He climbed in between her legs and began to kiss her again, his elbows supported his weight, careful not to crush her.

Once they parted she smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, he rolled over and now she was on top of him. He decided this was the best way they could cuddle so he wouldn’t crush her small frame.

“I love you Kyle”

“I love you too, (y/n)”

[luv4kyle]

hii, could you do like a small story of what it would be like to have a sleepover with the main 4 sp? platonic and fem reader preferred! tyy

note ; ofc anon, sorry im a lil late but yeah 🎀 happy halloween ( sorry if this lowk bad i barely write oneshots 💔. this is gonna be in like, cartmans house because qhy not frfr )

"CARTMAN STOP HOARDING THE BLANKETS YOU BLOOD VELCHING VAGINA" Kenny whisper-yelled angrily to the brunette next to him, trying to steal the blanket for himself. "Whatever kenny this is my bed, You should've got one from the dumpsters! AND DONT CALL ME THAT YOURE THE ONE THAT ISNT AS RICH THAN ME!!", "Cartman share the blankets fatass!" kyle sighed before trying to go back to sleep. while this small argument went on, you were sleeping on the floor with stan and kyle, pretty much comfortable in your sleeping bag. you guys were only there because you didn't wanna sleep next to cartman obviously, kenny was just there since he unfortunately didnt have a sleeping bag. "Guys come on let's just get the night over with and sleep" stan sighed and laid back down onto the pillow of his sleeping bag, getting annoyed from all fhe dumb arguing. "Fuck off stan!" "Fuck you fatass!"

after a little bit, kyle got tired of everyone and tried to fall asleep. cartman was still annoyed, but eventually just let kenny grab one of the old blankets from his closet he had. you were just awkwardly there listening to all of them. stan, kyle and you were still up, but stan let you listen to his sleeping playlist he made on itunes with him, it was pretty good, except he fell asleep like 4 songs in.. "Stan.. stan are you still awake..?" you gently shook stan a bit, his greasy hair sticking yo his face as he snored softly. you just let him be and layed down, looking up at the ceiling while kyle did as well, trying to make himself fall asleep and ignore the loud snoring from cartman.

"Hey, [y/n] are you still awake?" kyle sat up and looked at you, putting his ushnaka back on. you looked over to kyles direction and nodded, feeling a bit sleepy even though you guys were only about 2 hours into the night. "Sorry, I just cant sleep without hearing fatass' loud ass snoring.." you let out a low snort, it was a bit true, he did make some distracting noises while sleeping, so it was a bit weird to try and sleep with all that going on. "Anyways I'm gonna try and sleep now, you should too dude, it's really late. I learned about how it can really mess with you're brain if you dont get 9 hours of sleep a day.. "

it was gonna be a long night with all of them

[he4rts4alexis]

Prom Royalty

Pairing: Clyde x reader

Warnings: profanity if you squint a little

About: Clyde and you bribe Kyle into making y'all prom royalty

"y/n we don't have all day pick a dress" Clyde says impatiently. "I'm trying these are so pretty" you say as you look at all three red color dresses.

You got the tight dress that showed all your curves and cleavage "don't you think that's a bit to revealing?" Clyde says still look at the dress "M~ no just right let's go" you say as you go back to the changing room and take off the dress. You soon get out and buy the dress. "I still don't think it's a good dress for prom" Clyde says unsure if he like it or not.

"stop questioning me and get in the car" you say handing him the keys. "We really need to win the prom king and queen" you say looking out the window. "How are we supposed to do that when Tolkien and nichole are a couple their literally the school's golden couple" Clyde says still paying attention to the road. "I have an idea let's bribe Kyle isn't he in charge of the votes" you say looking at Clyde "how we don't even talk to him or know what things he likes" Clyde says unsure if he wants to go through with it. "Yes but his best friend does I will text him" you say as you take out your phone

I didn't feel like doing the fake text messages😕

Y/n: Stann I need your help it's an emergency

Stan: yea what's wrong

Y/n: what's Kyle's favorite thing in the world

Stan: the Denver nuggets basketball team

Y/n: alright thanks

"what did he say?" Clyde asks while looking at you

"A stupid basketball team" you say rolling your eyes

"hmm what if we get him tickets to it" Clyde says confidently "do you know how much money that will be?" "Loren we'll be fine I'll make the money back by selling more shoes this is my last prom I wanna make it count". You hated when he gave you those sad sob stories but you did it anyway because you wanted to win to obvi and bought the tickets for Kyle. "Uh Kyle Clyde wanted me to give you these" you say before handing the tickets to him "A-ARE THOSE DENVER NUGGET TICKETS!?" "Yeah but you can only have them if you let me and Clyde be prom queen and king" "y/n you know I can't do that" "you can do it it's just you don't want to are you sure you don't want to" you say swinging the two tickets in his face. "Ugh fine just give me the tickets and no take backs" "Kyle I may not be as smart as you but I'm not dumb either you'll get them after I see crowns on me and Clyde's head"

And with that you walked off

"what did he say?" "Oh he's gonna do it he has no choice" "are you holding the tickets hostage?" "Maybe oh don't judge me I'm desperate" "not as desperate as me" he pulls you in to kiss you.

*Time skip to the night of the prom*

After your mom takes the last photo for prom of the night you and Craig got into the red shiny car he rented "you sure this is gonna work y/n?" "Clyde stop rushing me" "alright fine" You two make your way to the decorated gym "hey y/n" Heidi says "hey where's Eric?" "He's by the food table stuffing his face" she says as she started to pout. "Ha typical Cartman" "shut the fuck up Clyde" you elbow him "anywho see you later Heidi" "bye y/n"

*Time skip to the near end of prom*

Wendy and Kyle get on stage to pronounce prom Royalty tonight. "Tonight's prom king is... Clyde Donavon!" Clyde walks up on stage whispering a "thank you" to Kyle "And also the true beauty of the night the prom queen of tonight's wonderful prom is... Y/n L/n!" You walk on stage and hands Kyle his tickets. The floor clears as you and Clyde have the royal dance "he really did it" "ofc Kyle would do anything if it requires a basketball" "heh yeah" Clyde pulls you in for a warm and passionate kiss.

That was a bullshit ass ending but yeahhh I swear the only reason I wrote this is because it's been in my drafts for weeks I wanted to write for Tolkien but I did not know how I can turn those titles into one shots 💀

[kennyschance]

finished my first series 🫡 you guys should check it out!! ;)))

[yayaazz333]

✰ sp masterlist ✰

hopefully this will help u navigate things better!:)

ミ★ wattpad fics ★彡

Tension [Kyle Broflovski x f!Reader]

ミ★ reader insert ★彡

✰ kyle broflovski~

him slowly developing a crush on u //headcannons // fluff

kyle basketball player //headcannons //fluff?

✰ kenny mccormick~

him slowly developing a crush on u //headcannons //fluff

✰ craig tucker~

him slowly developing a crush on u //headcannons //fluff

ミ★ ships ★彡

✰ tweek x craig~

tweek x craig //various //fluff

ミ★ various ★彡

tweek x craig //various //fluff

more characters will pop up with more requests!:)

ꨄ

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Oh look it’s Stick Of Truth Style

youve taken the time to learn my attack patterns? what are you, gay?

[lazyheartnacho]

Adult!Kenny x Reader Oneshots - Kenny x wealthy! Reader ~ My girlfriend, the sugar mama (Part 1) (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/404236882-adult-kenny-x-reader-oneshots-kenny-x-wealthy?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=KristenKenney Status: Completed Warning!! These oneshots contain smut, swearing and gore~ Read at own risk. No more one shots will be added as I'm out of the fandom (: I was very young when I wrote this, so please don't take ANYTHING serious that I wrote in there.

[cloudyskiiees]

rewatching some southpark and all i can see is alenoah as the Tweek x Craig episode. save me alenoah save me. thinking bout a oneshot of them inspired by that ep...

[corporatefrog]

╰┈➤ CorporateFrog Masterlist ✧.*

+ (Request)

South Park

Kyle:

꩜ Going on a road trip with him ꩜ having a sleepover with superhero!Stan, Kyle, and Kenny when professor chaos attacks southpark ꩜ saving you from professor chaos ꩜ him with a rich friend ꩜ how he reacts to yn being in the hospital ꩜ having a careless friend ꩜ pc!dad with a daughter who gets into fights ꩜ having a secretly ripped friend ꩜ helping a stressed friend out

꩜ oneshot - A Bit Tied Up

Stan:

꩜ Going on a road trip with him ꩜ having a sleepover with superhero!Stan, Kyle, and Kenny when professor chaos attacks southpark ꩜ saving you from professor chaos ꩜ him with a rich friend ꩜ how he reacts to yn being in the hospital ꩜ having a careless friend ꩜ pc!dad with a daughter who gets into fights ꩜ having a secretly ripped friend ꩜ helping a stressed friend out

꩜ One Shot - Tegridy for the Soul ꩜ oneshot - A Bit Tied Up

Kenny:

꩜ Going on a road trip with him ꩜ having a sleepover with superhero!Stan, Kyle, and Kenny when professor chaos attacks southpark ꩜ saving you from professor chaos ꩜ him with a rich friend ꩜ how he reacts to yn being in the hospital ꩜ having a careless friend ꩜ pc!dad with a daughter who gets into fights ꩜ having a secretly ripped friend ꩜ helping a stressed friend out

Butters:

꩜ Defending Butters when Cartman messes with him ꩜ Going on a road trip with him ꩜ having a sleepover with superhero!Stan, Kyle, and Kenny when professor chaos attacks southpark ꩜ saving you from the freedom pals ꩜ him with a rich friend ꩜ how he reacts to yn being in the hospital ꩜ having a careless friend ꩜ pc!dad with a daughter who gets into fights ꩜ having a secretly ripped friend ꩜ helping a stressed friend out

Cartman:

꩜ him with a rich friend pc!dad with a daughter who gets into fights

Jimmy:

꩜ Going on a road trip with him ꩜ him with a rich friend ꩜ how he reacts to yn being in the hospital ꩜ random tweets w/ team craig and yn

Craig:

꩜ Going on a road trip with him ꩜ him with a rich friend ꩜ how he reacts to yn being in the hospital ꩜ random tweets w/ team craig and yn

꩜ oneshot - caught red handed

Tweek:

꩜ Going on a road trip with him ꩜ him with a rich friend ꩜ how he reacts to yn being in the hospital ꩜ random tweets w/ team craig and yn

꩜ oneshot - Loud music, No thoughts ꩜ oneshot - caught red handed

Tolkien:

꩜ Going on a road trip with him ꩜ him with a rich friend ꩜ how he reacts to yn being in the hospital ꩜ random tweets w/ team craig and yn

Clyde:

꩜ Going on a road trip with him ꩜ him with a rich friend ꩜ how he reacts to yn being in the hospital ꩜ random tweets w/ team craig and yn

Whole Cast:

꩜Youtuber AU:

┊General Headcanons ┊General Headcanons (Pt. 2) ┊Catching Mysterion, Toolshed, and Human Kite sneaking into Kyle's Apartment + ꩜ General Headcanons about the characters

Series:

꩜ Welcome Back to the Channel (Superhero, Youtuber smau) - COMPLETED ┊Random Twitter Interactions

꩜ Loose Change (College AU)

[lets-all-calm-down-a-bit]

Heyyyy,,, so I had an idea!!

When my discord server gets to 100 members I'll host a giveaway in the server! I'll randomly pick 5 people to choose if they want a drawing or a oneshot for free (:

[behindthescenesoftaylor]

You might be a girl, but you’re my girl.

Cartman X Reader

Summary: you and cartman have a secret relationship and he has a weird way of trying to hide it.

600 words

Here we were again.

You sat down with the girls, a lunch tray sitting infront of you. Today you were being served sloppy joes, but you didn’t eat that, just the delicious fruit served on the side.

From the side of your eye, you could see the boys, Stan, Kenny, Kyle, butters. Eric.

You but your lip anxiously while side-eyeing him. Right now he was going on about something, something you couldn’t hear because of all the chatter around you.

You looked back down at the sloppy-joes that sat untouched, i mean, it shouldn’t go to waste

Eric stopped his normal ranting when he saw you approaching, a light blush settling on his chubby cheeks. We're you about to expose you guys?! What would the boys say, what would they think of him- suddenly a plate was gently placed onto the table infront of him.

“Here, cartman, I’m not eating it so i figured you would want it!”

His normal smirk dropped into a line. He was trying his best to look like his annoyed, normal self.

“You sure he needs more?” Kyle snickered, a few other laughs erupted.

“AYE.” Cartman yelled, looking from the tray to the ginger boy.

You awkwardly pursed your lips and rocked back and forth on your feet.

“Are you sure you didn’t plant any of your girl-cooties in this?” He questioned, a small, fake laugh erupting from his throat. Though, despite his fake play he was putting on for the boys, he couldn’t help but look up to you, still a light blush on his cheeks.

“Cooties aren’t real, Eric.” You crossed your arms. Oh shit- you called him Eric. “I- i mean cartman.” You coughed.

“Of course a girl would say that.” He teased.

“Look, do you want the sloppy Joe or not!?” You asked, fed up.

He just scoffed and slid the tray further towards him. With that you smiled and walked back to the girls table, a couple of confused faces meeting you.

—

After the bell you began to walk towards class when a meaty arm pulled you inside of the janitors closet.

“That was very reckless of you, we could of got caught!” Cartman freaked, his hand still gripping your arm, but not enough to hurt.

“I just gave you a sandwich, cartman” you smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. You then smiled, deciding to tease him to get revenge from earlier. You leaned into a kiss before quickly pulling back before your lips could meet.

“Oh wait- i have cooties! I cant kiss you!” You dramatically gasped, the back of your hand touched your forehead and you made that dramatic motion that people make. “I’m so sorry for touching you with my cooties!”

“Babbeeeee” he whined, sloppily grabbing onto your waist. You tried to pull back but his grip got tighter, he backed you up onto the wall before kissing your exposed neck. Let’s just say your v line was helping very much.

“Eric- we can’t- i don’t want to spread my cooties!” You said, your lips turning upwards into a small smile. He continued to kiss upwards, a kis on your neck, jawline, cheek, and then he stopped right before the lips.

“You might be a disgusting girl, but you're my disgusting girl.” He muttered, before finally connecting his needy lips with yours. One hand was on your waist and the other was tangled up with your hair as you both continued with the passionate makeout session.

Suddenly the door rattled and quickly opened. The two of you quickly disconnected, drool was still connecting you two though.

Kyle stood there with a shocked expression, his mouth agape.

“What- the fuck.”

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

ok listen here i want to read all your ao3 stuff but i can't do that when it's 85 FUCKING FANFICS

ALL OF THEM ARE SOUTH PARK

why did i decide i'd read it all

most importantly, WHY DID I DECIDE IM NOT GIVING UP AND I'M DOING IT

...this is gonna be an awfully long amazing experience thank you

Ok FIRST OF ALL it means SO MUCH TO ME that you want to read all my bullshit, and I KNOW DUDE IM SORRY THERES SO MUCH!!!

If you want a starting point (do not start with my first attempts bro fr they’re ass) start with some of the stand alone oneshots! Or. For multichap stuff, if you want a fantasy au around 20k words go with How We Began, for some teenage Southparking shenanigans, In The Truly Gruesome. Want to hop into a completely bizarre dark au? The Webs In The Rafters. Super sappy little mermaid esque firefighter stan fae prince kyle? And The Lightning Cracks The Sky.

And of COURSE if you’re jumping into PCE Hell, I’m recommending the entire OrangeJuiceVerse. There’s a lot of that lol.

But yeah, a shit ton of random oneshots, too many AU’s, whatever you’re interested in I’ve probably written it, I hope something pleases and sparkles!!!

[mothwaysup]

I'm thinking about doing southpark and hellpark oneshots...

[your-local-uwu-artist]

thankyu for the tag >:D

last song i listened to: and english cover edm remix of idol (the oshi no ko opening)

currently reading: *sighs* waiting for some fanfics to update, but mostly rereading oneshots and checking out works of (fanfic)authors i like. I've been looking to get my hands on scott mc clouds 'reinventing comics' as well as second volumes of a couple of yuri mangas

currenty watching: just finished 'dc super hero girls' watched it sense Lauren faust developed it and i've heard nothing but good things, (it is indeed: very good) I was watching a good number of animes but with 9anime rebranding I'm procrastinating getting logged into my account again ndjfks :( anyways: I decided to start watching teen titans sense it's anime-influenced and that'll help my weeb brain not go insane (if you've been paying attention you'll know that lately my dc content has been making my weeb brain go insane, but I'm already in the rabit hole i can't just crawl out at this point: so this is a compromise so my weeb brain doesn't go too insane) fnsdkjaf

current obsession: I'm hesitant to say batman but also I have been losing sleep and going dare i say: batshit insane.... (finger guns like a pun loving loser) anyway, *sighs* yeah.... that aside been thinking about pmd a lot too: specifically my psmd gijinka au (marilou my beloved) I also accidentally made a southpark au where i just accidentally transed the main 4s genders (this happened at 3am idk man I just accidentally transed their genders it was an accident 😔) Id i listed too many more things this post will never end but i gotta shout out the greatest anime of all time: nyan neko sugar girls

tagging : @interdimensionalvoid you've already been tagged i'm just tagging you to say hello :3 dnkaj @articskele @the-anxious-axolotl @crossover-enthusiast

mutuals i wanna know better, tagged by @hollowslantern THANK U ^____^!!!!!!

last song I listened to: mother by vashti bunyan. really good song (sniffing really loudly and blowing into tissues as i speak.) (Hmm That wa smeant to imply crying but it kind of sounds like i just have allergies..) .

currently reading: does this gamemaker coding tutorial count... if not then pride and prejudice. ive been putting it off for a long time so its nice to check it off my list >:D

currently watching: im watching the last few episodes of succession and im about halfway through season 3 of frasier... i do really want to reawtch ds9 though i might after im done. i miss my good friends kira and sisko

current obsession: ive been playing lethal amounts of dragon quest builders 2 lately if that counts. i DID have a weird pikmin dream last night, though..?

tagging @redskysailor @billymayslesbian @dooxliss @yarnkirby @plnwos and anyone else who wants to do this >:D i forgot to tag a few people im sure OTL