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Beer And Thunder: Thor and The Southern Avengers
Out of the clear blue Florida sky, there was a massive bolt of lightning, followed by an earsplitting crack of thunder that boomed for miles. The bolt of blueish lighting was immense, and persisted for a few moments, unlike regular lightning. The literal bolt from the blue shook the ground and left a deep crater, as though something had slammed into the Earth at high speed and with great force. From the smoking crater came a large hand, gripping the lip of the crater and hauling someone up.
The figure stepping from the crater was a huge man. No, not a man; a god. Standing at 6 foot 3 inches, he stood tall and strong, and would have loomed over many a mortal. He wore a suit of armored plate that weighed as much as an Abrams main battle tank, yet he barely felt it. His armor covered his chest, leaving his massive biceps free, ready to swing the immense hammer in his right hand. His long blonde hair fell down over his bright blue eyes, and he swept it away. Thor, Son of Odin, frowned in confusion. This was…definitely not Midgard. Or, not the Midgard he remembered. Where was the snow? The “big” and “strong” Viking warriors -small to him, like all mortals- come to offer him tribute and mead? The small mortals bowing before the mighty God of Thunder? And why was it so hot?!? It was hot and humid, like the fires of Muspelheim! In the far distance, he saw strange clusters of steel and glass, rising into the horizon. Ah, mortals! He begin to swing his hammer, before slingshotting himself far into the distance.
It was a fine day in Jacksonville, Florida. There was going to be a Gators game later that day and people were getting ready for tailgates; buying beers, brats, and Yankees to worship them as they enjoyed the game. Huge trucks drove through the streets, blaring both the AC from the vents and bro country from the speakers. That changed abruptly when something came slamming into the pavement, leaving a small indentation where it landed. A huge Ford slammed on the breaks, narrowly avoiding toppling into the hole, front wheels hanging into the hole. Baffled passersby got close, only to see a tall and muscular figure with long blonde hair standing in the hole, climbing out. He was tall, very muscular, and was already sweaty from the heat as he rose and took a look around, surveying the mortals.
“Ah, mortals! I have found you, at last. I am Thor, Son of Odin, God of Thunder, Lord of Asgard, and this land is mine to claim!”
Thor looked around, confused when they did not kneel before him in stunned worship. These mortals were quite tall, some even taller than him. They must be giants? Their words had a strange accent as they whispered.
“Who is he?”
“One of the Avengers?”
“Claim? This is Florida, not California!”
Thor had no idea of where he had landed; one of northern Florida’s biggest cities and the birthplace of Tim Tebow, Jacksonville was full of Southern men who did not take kindly to the idea of being “claimed”. He knew it was hot, and he was sweaty.
“Mortals! Bow before-“
Before he could finish his sentence, a booming voice cut through the crowd.
“Who the fuck are you?”
Thor turned to see a trio of men, each standing at least 7 feet tall, looming over even the Mighty Thor. One of them was a tall and thin -relatively, he was still quite muscular- figure with a scruffy beard, wearing an armored jumpsuit in grey and dark red. His hair and beard was dark brown, and a pair of intense green eyes peered at Thor as he hefted a heavy shield; it was clearly very sturdy, strong, and bore a red, white, and blue emblem Thor did not recognize. It was pointed at one end, enabling it to be used offensively and defensively.
The man next to him was not a man at all, at least Thor didn’t think so. Its flesh was shining in the Florida sun as though made of metal, and was red and blue. A central sphere glowed, as did the creature’s eyes. The only way Thor knew it was alive was that it spoke.
“Getting impressive energy readouts Cap.”
The first man nodded curtly. The third figure loomed over even his comrades; he was a bulky behemoth of a man, huge and beefy, with muscles that made even Thor look small. This impressed and confused Thor. He wore a tight-fitting shirt that hugged his arms, and a pair of mesh-like pants that did little to conceal his beefy ass. It was a mix of red and grey and blue and orange, an odd mix that managed to work surprisingly well. He said nothing, but his blue eyes roved over Thor. He folded his arms over his pecs and smirked, satisfied that he was bigger. The first man spoke again.
“Again, who the fuck are you?”
Thor hefted his hammer.
“I am Thor, Son of Odin, God of Thunder, Lord of Asgard! And yes, I am quite impressive, metallic imp. Who are you? It is clear that you are the lords of this land, aye? You must be related to Frost Giants! But this land is not yours; Midgard rightfully belongs to me. Do you intend to deny my righteous claim as Lord of the Nine Realms?”
The first man almost laughed.
“I’m Captain Confederate, and you seem to be lost; this ain't a damn renn fair…and is that a goddamn hammer?”
The metal man spoke to Cap, evidently the team lead.
“Uh, Cap; Thor was the Norse god of thunder, lightning, fertility, and trees. I think that’s Mjolnir, his hammer.”
Thor brightened.
“So you have heard of me. Good, the mortals still worship me!”
The third man unfolded his arms and strode forward.
“Thor, huh? God of Thunder? I’m Tim fucking Tebow, but you can call me Stonewall. Yer lookin pretty puny for a god, and you sure as hell ain't from here, so you ain't a god. Put down your toy before I have to break it.”
Thor grew irritated and indignant.
“You dare challenge my might, ogre? I shall claim this land for Asgard, and you shall kneel before your rightful Lord. Now, feel the wrath of the Mighty Thor!”
Thor aimed Mjolnir at Stonewall, and there was a huge blast of lightning, arcing from the mighty hammer and into the humungous football players beefy chest. To Thor’s astonishment, the hulking brute was knocked back maybe half a step, but was otherwise unharmed when the smoke cleared. Stonewall glared at Thor.
“That tickled. Now I get to break you.”
Taking two steps forward, Stonewall swung his huge fist at Thor, hitting him right in the chest and sending him flying into a wall. Thor was dazzled, but stood from the wall and charged forth. Just as this occurred, the tall Texan, Captain Confederate, took a running leap, vaulting up a truck and leaping from the roof, coming down as fast and hard as surely as a shell on Fort Sumter, his shield with the battle flag slamming down hard into Thor. The shield itself weighed several hundred pounds, and there were several hundred pounds of Texan muscle behind it as well, propelling the pointing shield down onto his head, a single tiny drop of divine blood falling from his forehead as he was propelled backwards by the impact. Thor roared and emitted a mighty blast of lightning all around him, throwing Captain Confederate back, though he swiftly converted the tumble into a deft roll backwards, already kneeling and using his shield for cover as he fired on Thor with his custom 1911. The bullets compacted into tiny metal discs upon impact with Thor’s massive muscles, completely useless. Cap frowned, concerned by this, as Iron Rebel hovered overhead, blasting Thor with his energy weapons.
The Alabama billionaire hovered in his armored suit, blasting Thor with his repulsors, but was confused. They didn’t seem to be having much impact. His AI, Jaxon, chimed to life.
“Sir, energy levels rising in the target.”
“Explain.”
Colin replied as he kept blasting Thor, pumping up the energy in the blasts, hoping they might prove more effective.
Thor grinned below, and locked eyes with him.
“Energy levels increasing dramatically s-"
Before he could finish his sentence, Thor emitted a burst of lightning directly at him, thunder rumbling through the cloudless Jacksonville sky. The suit was of course, fully insulated, but the sheer power behind the blast shut down his armor, and he dropped like a rock, slamming into the ground and attempting to reactivate his systems, cursing loudly as he did so.
The clang of Iron Rebel against the ground drew Cap’s gaze, and he rushed to his aid, still firing with one hand at Thor. Stonewall gave his partners a quick glance, and, almost sensing that Colin was ok despite having fallen from the sky, strode towards Thor. The bulky footballer walked forward casually, as though walking out to the middle of Gators stadium for the coin toss. He reeled back to punch Thor again, casually ignoring another blast of lighting as he drew closer. Thor, frustrated that nothing seemed to be hurting the Florida football colossus, hefted a nearby truck that had been abandoned, and hurled it at Stonewall. That caught his attention, eyes widening as it came hurtling towards him. Tim put out his arms, and, to Thor’s astonishment, he caught the truck and simply set it down, gingerly, as though he wanted to avoid breaking a fellow Southerners property. He continued to stride towards Thor, steps leaving small divots in the asphalt as he grew himself slightly bigger with casual ease, gaining two more feet in a few strides, looming over Thor. The thunder god hurled Mjolnir at Tebow’s head, which actually seemed to have an impact; the force behind the throw seemed to hurt, knocking his head back on his neck as though he had just received a strong punch to the face. His casual grin was now an irritated frown.
Thor held out his hand for Mjolnir, waiting for it to come back to him. It came racing back to him, but then, at the last second, the red and grey figure of Iron Rebel rocketed past, snatching Mjolnir from the sky. Iron Rebel was surprised by how easy it had been to chart the hammers course and arrange an intercept pattern. His systems had rebooted and he was eager to do something, so upon seeing him hurl his mighty hammer, he decided he could at the very least take away Thor’s weapon. The hammer strained, exerting force, trying to return to Thor, but Colin’s armor -and his muscles under it- was strong enough to keep it firmly held in his gauntlet. Thor was about to fry the iron pest when Tim Tebow slammed into him with all the force of fifteen freight trains, propelling him backward. His legs, which had driven even other Southern Gods back with their sheer driving force on the gridiron, pumped, combat cleats tearing into the asphalt, muscled arms pushing Thor back, and then pinning him. Thor fell onto his back, and felt an impossibly heavy weight on his chest; Stonewall’s huge combat cleat, pinning him to the ground as if he was a magnet stuck to it. He struggled, but couldn’t move.
“Unhand me, ogre!”
Captain Confederate strode forth, glaring down at Thor, and placed his shield against his throat, the pointed tip like a guillotine blade.
“I should kill you right now for what you’ve done. Challenging us, hurting my friends, causing so much damage. For challenging our honor…”
He pressed the tip into Thor’s neck, a tiny pinprick of blood oozing forth. He did not press it further, thinking. Stonewall spoke up.
“Thanks for that. First real fight I’ve had in ages. That hammer a yers packs a punch.”
Speaking of the hammer, Iron Rebel strode up, still holding Mjolnir, effortlessly keeping it from Thor’s hands.
“Please just cut his head off Jensen. I’m going to have to completely redesign the suit now.”
Thor let out an indignant roar, struggling anew against the combat cleat. Stonewall frowned.
“Naw, that’d be a waste. He’s big, strong, hot, just needs a haircut to get rid of that damn hippy hair and a Rebel Brew to become a real God. Let’s Southernize ‘im.”
Colin was alarmed by the idea.
“WHAT? No! I am NOT being partners with a walking Tesla coil! You saw what he did!”
Jensen paused, seeming to consider this.
“You recovered. Tim’s right.”
He pulled the shield back, resting it beside him, as he reached into a small pouch on his belt. Between his fingers rested a small metal vial, marked “SS-004 CONCENTRATE.” A heavily concentrated form of Southernizing agent, he kept a few vials on his person if he ever ran across someone worthy of ascension during a field op. He opened the vial’s lid.
“I heard ya like beer? Get ready for the best beer of your life. Yer about to become one of us.”
As Thor continued to protest, he leaned down and poured the vial right down his throat. The god spluttered, almost gagging on the substance.
Thor continued to protest the mortals when the scruffy one with a heavy shield poured something right down his throat. He spluttered as it splashed down, the intense taste of hops too much even for him. Almost immediately, a strange heat washed over him. Then, his eyes almost rolled back in his head from the sudden explosion of power blasting through his body. The warmth washed over every inch of his body, every atom suffused with energy and power. His biceps and triceps, already impressive, began to grow before the eyes of the Southerners. Thor’s muscles, be it in his boulder biceps, thunder thighs, princely pecs, or elsewhere, grew hundreds of times denser and stronger in moments, flooded with strength, strong as white titanium. His muscles and sinews stretched, bones popping as they expanded. Sweat covered his body anew, glistening in the hot Southern sun as he kept growing. His cock would be an impressive eight inches when completely soft, balls churning with superior seed as his DNA was augmented and remade into a hybrid of Southern strength and Norse divinity.
As if being diverted from one part of him to another, Thor’s long blonde locks receded back, becoming a much more conservative cut, as a beard grew out, thicker and mightier. His feet strained against his boots, growing several sizes in moments, stinking and sweaty. Thors mind began to change. He felt a haziness wash over him, clouding his memories. No longer had he been entirely Asgardian. No, his father had had some fling with a mortal from the South, and he was the result. A mighty hybrid, raised to take over when his father passed. He felt an immensely strong attachment to the South, having visited it and fallen in love, and now he fought alongside the Southern Avengers when he was not expanding the Asgardian Empire, which he ruled as God-Emperor. Thor looked around, wondering why he was on his back. His armor had expanded to accommodate his new size, but now bore motifs of miniature battle flags alongside norse runes, his dual heritages reflected in his armor and his accent when he spoke. Standing up, he opened his mouth to speak, but something else came out.
“BBBBBUUUUUUURRRRPPPP!”
The thundering beer-heavy shockwave of his burp shook the ground under his feet, and shattered windows already weakened by their fight. He flexed his immense white biceps, soaked in sweat, and proudly proclaimed.
“I am Thor - Son of Dixie!”
He smirked as he flexed, feeling absolutely at home in the Jacksonville sun. The others watched him in awe, and Thor was puzzled.
“What’s wrong my friends?”
Jensen spoke first, improvising quickly. He was pleasantly surprised by the results of the vial. Perhaps because Thor was a god to begin with, the results were especially impressive, making him into a very literal Southern God.
“Nothin Thor. That was just…a damn good burp.”
“Of course it was! What has happened here?”
Tebow spoke up now, clapping Thor on the back; he was delighted by the new stud, his muscles rivaling his own beefy muscles.
“Oh, we took down some terrorists. Made a real mess, but nobody got hurt. Ya did good today Thor. Now, let’s help em fix things up, then we all go out for some dinner?”
Thor nodded enthusiastically, and began effortlessly hefting vehicles that had been turned over.
Two Days Later:
The ground shook as the Yankees prayed, invoking their precious God, imploring him to save them, to deliver them from evil, to watch over them in their hour of need. The ground shaking was itself not unusual; Southerners frequently made the ground shake for one reason or another; walking, burping, farting, rumbling by in their huge trucks. But now the stained glass windows shook dangerously, quaking in their frames as if the saints themselves feared what was coming. They prayed harder. Then, a huge hand ripped apart the church steeple, massive fingers ripping apart the roof and steeple, sending beams falling down into the church and onto the terrified parishioners. The hand pulled away and the remains of the roof and steeple were casually tossed over the titan’s shoulder as if it were merely a beer can. A huge face bent down to peer at the puny Yankees; it was huge, filling the sky, a scruffy dirty blonde beard taking up a lot of the view, each hair easily three times the size of the largest man north of the Mason-Dixon. They didn’t recognize him, but that, again, wasn’t unusual. Southerners came and went, sowing havoc in their wake as surely as ozone follows lightning. He smirked down at the tiny Yankees, and chuckled, voice shaking the ground when he spoke.
“HELLO YANTS! ARE YOU PRAYING TO YOUR RIGHTFUL SOUTHERN GODS?”
The accent was not one they recognized; it was kinda Southern, but there was something else. This was confusing. He peered closer, and his huge lips pursed into an irritated frown.
“ANSWER ME, KNAVES.”
Knaves? What sort of person called someone a knave?
The terrified father seemed to regain some small measure of faith and stood, trembling but still standing.
“N-no, we are worshipping the one true God-“
He was cut off by an amused guwaff from the titanic stud looming over them.
“GOD? THERE IS NOT ONE GOD, PUNY BUGS, BUT AN ENTIRE RACE OF THEM LIKE ME. BOW BEFORE THE MIGHTY THOR, GOD OF THUNDER, PATHETIC YANTS, AND PERHAPS I SHALL TAKE YOU AS MY PLAYTHINGS.”
The terrified Yankees stared up in horror at the colossus. Since when did the so-called gods have dominions? Some were already on their knees, knocked down by falling debris, the quakes from his footfalls or the beer-scented wind from his booming voice. Others, however, refused to kneel, secure in their faith, albeit still alarmed. Thor titan waited for a few moments, before opening his mouth to speak again, only for a hurricane-force burp to rumble forth from his mega stomach. There was an ominous rumble and then when his lips parted, hell burst forth into the sanctuary.
The beer-and-protien-scented shockwave of gas and heat obliterated all the remaining stained glass windows as if purging the land of false idols in an act of masculine potency and southern rage, leaving not a trace remaining. The doors flew off their hinges, one door slamming into and through the store across the street, the other door reducing a passing Yankee to a bloody smear on the sidewalk. The walls bulged and strained, bulging out in crazy angles in some places, completely destroyed in some places. The inhabitants fared worst of all.
The sheer heat of Thor’s massive burp seared them, their screams utterly inaudible as they were cooked to a crisp, burned and charred in a few mercifully quick seconds before death supervened. They had literally been fried by the heat, skin forming a crust-like texture of flash-hardened burns.
A low whistle came from beside Thor. Stonewall towered beside him, having been watching beside Thor as he exercised his power.
“DAMN! YOU COOKED EM!”
Thor grinned with pride.
“DIDN’T KNOW I COULD DO THAT! I WONDER…”
He trailed off and grabbed one of the petrified Yankee bodies, still kneeling in terrified supplication, and tossed it into his gaping maw.
“NOT BAD! CRISPY AND WARM.”
He reached down and grabbed more, as Stonewall just laughed, thunderous laughter shaking the ground. This had been quite a fun way to see Thor in action, allowing Tim to gauge how he was acclimating to his powers. Evidently he was adapting quite well. He knew it had been a good idea to Southernize the colossal Nordic hunk, and this casual display of power and dominance seemed to confirm it. He smiled and patted his friend on the back.
“WANNA GO FIND SOME DUMB PROTESTERS TO STOMP ON, MAKE SOME YANTS BOW DOWN?”
Thor grinned.
“OF COURSE! MAYBE I CAN FRY SOME MORE!”
With that, the two stomped off, Cap joining them, having been busy stomping out a minor disturbance under his boots. The trio of titans stomped off to find more Yants to have fun with, knowing that they would tremble at the sight of the newest member of the Southern Avengers: Thor, Son of Dixie.
-
How Thor joined the ranks of the Southern Avengers! Hope y'all liked it! Lemme know that ya think; comment, send me a message, or via an ask -anon or otherwise-.
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Zutara Vampire Hunters AU inspired by Castlevania Nocturne
#zuko is the last of a famous FN vampire hunter clan#one that can wield fire bending#bending is rare in this au#zuko lost his bending after watching his mother get killed by a vampire#the same one that scarred his face#he goes to the EK to live with his distance cousins the Beifongs; another vampire hunters clan that only consists of Toph and Poppy#zuko and toph grow up as siblings#katara is the last southern waterbender#who liberated her village that was enslaved by Yon Rha's vampire clan#she came to the EK with her friend Haru to avenge her mother and hunt down Yon Rha who escaped#fate brings zuko and katara together as they join forces to stop a world ending threat the vampires are planning to enslave all of humanity#atla#atla au#zutara#zutara au#vampire hunter au#zuko#katara#toph#ursa#colored sketch#star's art#long tags
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SomedayLazySomeday's Masterlist
Hey, friends! Here is the collection of everything I’ve written up to this point. Fics have their own page to keep things neat, and those links are posted under the media to which they belong.
All fics feature a female reader with minimal physical description and no use of ‘Y/N’. All of these works are rated mature or explicit and are not intended for minors. Please take note of the warnings listed on the chapter links for each fic.
Thanks for reading and enjoy!
- Ink
Arcane (2021)
Good Intentions - Silco x fem!reader. - 54.7k words. Reader runs a charitable organization, the Haven, which seeks to help people overcome their Shimmer addiction. Silco soon takes an intense interest in the Haven and the woman who operates it.
Noisy - Viktor x fem!reader. - 7.2k words. Reader is a student at the Piltover Academy and lives in student housing, one floor below Viktor. He’s a bit of an insomniac… and a noisy one at that.
Avengers (2012)
Cold - Loki x fem!reader. - 3k words. Reader is in a casual physical relationship with Loki. When she attends a party at Avengers Tower with someone else, he’s bothered by the idea that she’s ashamed of him. Themes of jealousy and minor monsterfucking.
Beetlejuice
A Deal with a Demon - Beetlejuice x fem!reader. - 13.3k words. Reader is a witch who’s a little down on her luck. She summons a demon for help, but he turns out to be very different from what she expected. Themes of magic, desperation, and monsterfucking.
Black Sails
Captured - Captain Charles Vane x fem!reader. - 9.1k words. Reader disguised herself as a man to cross the ocean, but her ship was captured by pirates who brought her on as a member of their crew. Vane eventually figures out the truth. Dub-con themes in Part One; mind the warnings!
The Boondock Saints
Na Buachaillí - Murphy MacManus x fem!reader, Connor MacManus x fem!reader. - 13k words. Reader is a high school science teacher working temp jobs over Christmas break to help pay for her divorce.
Ex Machina (2015)
Winner Take All - Nathan Bateman x fem!reader. - 11.6k words. Reader knows Nathan from MIT, and they constantly run into each other during trivia night at a local bar. Enemies to friends to lovers vibes.
The Gray Man (2022)
Paranoid - Lloyd Hansen x fem!reader. - 9.7k words. Reader runs into Lloyd and he takes a liking to her. She can’t say the same for him. Dark!fic with themes of non-con. Mind the warnings on this one!
The Hobbit
Dexterity - Thorin Oakenshield x fem!reader. - 14.6k words. Reader sells wool at Erebor’s markets and is familiar with the king, handsome and aloof. But Thorin rapidly warms up when a storm forces her to stay in Erebor overnight…
A Boon - Elvenking Thranduil x fem!reader. - 20.2k words. Reader owns a bar in Lake-Town and is very unimpressed with the Elvenking, even as he slowly works to win her over. Enemies to lovers vibes.
Labyrinth
Dreams - Jareth x fem!reader. - 7.7k words. Reader wished away her college roommate, beat the labyrinth, and resisted the Goblin King. But he isn’t done with her yet… Themes of dark fae, magic, and predator/prey.
Random Jareth Fics - Jareth x fem!reader - 6.8k words. Reader is a teacher who was wished away by a young student. She becomes Jareth’s eyes and ears in the human world, working to keep his legend alive. Over time, she becomes less human, but an occasional need still arises.
Narcos
Informant - Javier Peña x fem!reader. - 2.3k words. Reader has some information about Pablo Escobar and ends up making a different sort of deal. (Similar in tone to Oaths, but I hadn’t quite figured out how to write Javier Peña’s character yet.)
Oaths - Javier Peña x fem!reader. - 11.5k words. Reader is a nurse who treats the Escobar family. She turns information over to the DEA, though she doesn’t care for the agent assigned to her case.
Matter of Perspective - Captain Horacio Carrillo x fem!reader. - 9.6k words. Reader works for the DEA in Columbia and accompanies the Search Bloc to prove one of her theories. Enemies to lovers vibes.
Southern Vampire Mysteries/True Blood
Blood Donor - Eric Northman x fem!reader. - 2.4k words. Reader is a were-animal working for the vampires of a town Eric is visiting. You are sent to feed him.
Star Wars
Target Acquired - Jango Fett x fem!reader. - 9.6k words. Reader is a bounty hunter who often finds herself in direct competition with Jango Fett. They have a deal: whoever catches the bounty sets the terms of their night together.
Pursuit - Boba Fett x fem!reader. - 6.5k words. Reader is a bounty Boba finds, but she must convince him to let her go… even if they both know it’s only temporary.
Star Wars: The Bad Batch
Hunted - Hunter x fem!reader. - 7.3k words. Reader works with the Bad Batch. She has a crush on Hunter that seems one-sided… until a chance encounter with a mysterious substance on a mission. Sex pollen and themes of predator/prey.
Aim - Crosshair x fem!reader. - 9.9k words. Reader works with the Bad Batch and gets stranded with Crosshair after a mission. They won’t make it back to the Havoc Marauder without blowing off some steam. Enemies to lovers vibes in both parts.
Experiment - Tech x fem!reader. - 3.5k words. Tech thinks he can’t be distracted from his work. Reader bets that isn’t true, and she’s willing to prove it.
Stretch - Wrecker x fem!reader. - 13.5k words. Reader and Wrecker are a strong couple, but there are some challenges that come with dating someone so physically large.
Different, But Still Good - TBB!Echo x fem!reader. - 3.4k words. Reader is a sex-positive asexual, unbothered by the ways Echo was changed during his time with the Separatists. They’re both a little surprised when he volunteers to help on an unusually needy day.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Bitten - Commander Wolffe x fem!reader. - 13.4k words. Reader has a crush on Broadside, a pilot with the 501st. When it isn’t returned, a helpful stranger encourages her to let Wolffe provide a distraction.
Tied Up in You - Commander Fox x fem!reader. - 9.8k words. Established relationship between Fox and Reader. Sickeningly sweet glimpses at a loving, unlikely relationship.
Misbehaving - Commander Cody x fem!reader. - 9.2k words. Reader is in a relationship with Cody. Their relationship is one of control and boundaries, but they’re both willing and ready to test each other.
Star Wars: Legends
Bodyguard - Alpha-17 x fem!reader. - 9.2k words. Reader is a Senatorial aide, assigned to work for a hated senator who endangers both of their lives with his politics. Fortunately, Alpha is sent to keep them safe.
Gar Cyare Spice Fics - Alpha-17 x fem!reader. - 6.8k words. Assorted spicy chapters of an ongoing fic on my main blog. (Gar Cyare by WanderingInkSplot) Established relationship between Alpha and the fem!reader.
The Boys
Hooked - Billy Butcher x fem!reader. - 8k words. Reader is a tow truck driver sent to tow Butcher's car. He's less than pleased.
The Walking Dead
Arm Candy - Negan x fem!reader. - 18k words. Reader is a Savior and a prospective wife. Negan likes to show her off at meetings, but he is easily the most distracted person in the room.
#masterlist#somedaylazysomeday masterlist#masterlist update#arcane netflix#the avengers#beetlejuice#black sails#the boondock saints#ex machina#the gray man#the hobbit#labyrinth#narcos#true blood#southern vampire mysteries#star wars#star wars the bad batch#star wars the clone wars#star wars legends#the walking dead#spicy#not suitable for minors#minors dni
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THE Signature Entertainment Auction by Heritage Auctions
http://www.ha.com
#the wizard of oz#wicked#the godfather#captain america#the avengers#marvel#mcu#disney#disneyland#harry potter#star trek#star wars#the crown#marilyn monroe#auction#collectibles#collectorlife#harley quinn#dc comics#dc universe#cosplay#cosplayer#southern mother of dragons#heritage auctions
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Uncanny X-Men 132#, cover date April, 1980, Tessa was introduced. She was created by Chris Claremont and John Byrne. Jean Grey joined the Hellfire Club leading towards the Dark Pheonix Saga. The Hellfire Club was heavily influenced by the The Avengers episode "A Touch of Brimstone". Not only were the costumes an homage but Mastermind takes on the name of Jason Wyngarde and he looked like Peter Wyngarde who was the guest star in that episode. ("And Hellfire Is Their Name", Uncanny X-Men 132#, Marvel Comic Event)
#nerds yearbook#real life event#first appearance#comic book#marvel#marvel comics#the avengers#x men#xmen#april#1980#chris claremont#john byrne#dark phoenix#hellfire club#cyclops#jean grey#phoenix#marvel girl#storm#mutant#nightcrawler#wolverine#tessa#colossus#professor x#charles xavier#angel#candy southern#sebastian shaw
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Running into my favorite face character! Cherry on top he approves of my wardrobe 😊
#southern california#disneyland#california adventure#disneyland annual passholder#disney#magic key#avengers campus#the avengers#lokis army#mcu loki#loki laufeyson#loki#disneyland social clubs
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Something blue
#macro photography#high contrast#macro#photography#colors#colours#neon photography#experimental photography#oil and water#bubbles#cells#marvel exhibit#exhibitions#exhibit#MARVEL#Tesseract#Space Stone#infinity stones#Avengers#MCU#QAGOMA#blue photography#on the road#road trip#roads#passenger series#nsw#southern tablelands#Australia#QLD
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Just hanging around
Bucky Barnes x southern reader pt.1? (18+ kinda)
You get into an embarrassing situation at work when you meet Bucky. He takes an interest in you and you invite him inside for a drink. I may try to make this into a short series 🤷♀️.
To say you weren't embarrassed about this situation would be an understatement. It was late evening. You had climbed the scaffolding on the outside of your shop in the alley to weld some stuff when you lost balance and fell. Rope tied to the sturdy metal went taught around your legs catching you. As you hung there several feet off the ground you contemplated how you'd get out of this mess.
Just then a guy walked around the corner and on spotting you ran to help you. "Ma'am are you ok?" "Just peachy!" You could feel the blood rushing to your head now as you looked at him. A grin spread across his face as he observed you. "How did you even get like this?" "Gee I don't know maybe I fell? Now can you get me down please!?" Your face was level with his as he walked closer. He bent down plucking up your glasses and sliding them back on. As your vision became clear again and you looked him in the eye your heart skipped a beat and he gave you a charming grin. He was very handsome with short black hair and slight stubble. You didn't know if it was the blood or if you were actually blushing at this point, what with his face so close to your's. "I don't know you look pretty cute hanging like that." Oh if your head wasn't hurting so much you'd most definitely be blushing.
"Ok for real man my heads hurting." "Right how should I do this?" He was talking more to himself than you. Seemingly deciding on something he climbed up the scaffolding and stood on the level you were hanging in front of. "Give me your hand." Reaching up his gloved hand gripped your's firmly and he easily pulled you up. He held you bridal style with one arm around your shoulders, your rear sat awkwardly on his knee and his other hand took out his knife. He cleanly sliced through the rope freeing your legs. He then put his knife away and slipped his arm under your knees before jumping down to the concrete below. You let out a yelp gripping his jacket as you fell. He landed without so much as a grunt and set you on your feet. Wobbly on your feet you fell into his chest and he placed both hands on your sides to keep you steady.
"Easy we don't want you falling for me now do we?" You looked up at him and blushed giving him a small smile. Your hands on his chest kept you somewhat steady but his grip made you feel safe. "Um thank you Mr.?" "Im James but my friends call me Bucky." "Is it alright if I call you Jay then?" "Sure if you're planning on seeing me more often. And preferably not to rescue you from another situation like that." You giggle and push your glasses up your nose. "My names y/n." "Pretty name y/n. What were you even doing up there anyway?" "Well I was going to do some welding repairs to my shop but just as soon as I got up there I fell." "You weld?" "Yeah." "Huh I would've thought bookworm or computer nerd not welder." "I get that a lot." He smiles and pushes a strand of hair out of your face. "I bet it's a mess after hanging upside down." You run a hand through your hair to straighten it out. "And I thought you looked pretty hanging upside down but right side up you're gorgeous. "Oh tha-thanks." You blush again. "Would you like to come inside for a bit? I have sweet tea in the fridge." "That would be great. I was actually going to get something to drink when I spotted you."
Letting go of you he held out his right arm and you linked your arm with his. You walked to the front of the building which at this point was mostly illuminated by the street lights and neon signs. Unlocking the door you pushed it open and let him come inside. It was a small mud room with a staircase leading upstairs and the right wall had a metal door with warning signage next to and on it. *Warning metal and other materials being fabricated.* *Warning dangerous fumes wear respirator.* *Warning heavy equipment in use.* *Warning use ear protection beyond this point.* "Is that your shop?" "Yeah it's a good sized space with lots of fabrication equipment and other stuff. If you want you can leave your coat down here." "Im fine for now." After you shrugged off your welding gloves and coat you led him upstairs. Your place wasn't quite like he'd expected. You seemed to be a jack of all trades quite literally. There was a welding helmet on the counter in the process of repairs, an easel in the livingroom corner with a mostly finished piece on the canvas. There were a few bookshelves scattered throughout the room all of which were packed with books. From his vantage only one had fictional novels and series on all the shelves, the others had a menagerie of different topics all of which were non fiction. They were all in order of topic too.
"You've got quite the collection of books." "Oh yeah I love a variety of topics. If you see anything interesting I'll let you borrow it." "Really?" "Think of it as a thank you for saving me." He scanned the shelves of the closest bookcase finding several books interesting so he skipped them for now. He did notice a pattern though. You seemed to prefer homesteading books as well as survival books, even your novel collection reflected that aspect of you. He was surprised he didn't find any romance novels but maybe you had those in your bedroom? Posters of some rock bands and TV shows covered what little of the walls were blank. And you walked back into the room. He hadn't realized you'd left. "So you want that tea?" You opened the fridge pulling out a pitcher full of amber liquid. "Oh it looks like I have A&W root beer too if you'd rather have that." He walked into the kitchen and leaned against the wall behind you. "A&W sounds good." You sat the pitcher on the counter and grabbed a root beer for him. Handing it to him you grabbed a cup for yourself and poured the tea. "Let's go sit." He let you pass and followed behind you.
"You know I don't think I've ever met someone with as wide of a range of topics that they like as you. You're really interesting." "Yeah I do a bunch of different stuff. I don't know if you could tell by my survival collection but I'm a bit of a prepper." He takes a sip of his drink. "Yeah I did notice." "I like to be safer than sorry you know?" He nods. "Oh I meant to ask but why are you still wearing your gloves, I figured you'd at least take those off." He suddenly looks a bit nervous and you second guess asking that. "Hey you don't have to answer that if you don't want to." "No no it's alright I've got um... poor circulation so they help with that." "Oh ok." You give him a bright smile to reassure him. "So what music do you like? I figured I could put something on if you want." " That's ok I'm not sure you'd care for it." "Jay I have as wide of a range of music I enjoy as my book topics so I don't think you'll surprise me." "Ok if you say so. I like... 40s music." You smile and type something in on your phone, seconds later the music starts playing (Moonlight in Vermont- Margaret Whiting). His grin has you smiling happily and he takes another sip of his drink.
"You really are something else you know that?" Suddenly a black blur jumps on the table startling him. "Holy cow... didn't know you had a cat either." "Jinx honey c'mere she crosses the table to you with a shivering tail." "Meow." You scratch under her chin and she starts to purr loudly. Scratching the base of her tail makes her stand on her tiptoes tail shivering happily. "Sorry about her she's usually more skittish with strangers so I thought she'd stay in the bedroom." "It's ok I'm not allergic or anything." She moved over to him and he held out his right hand letting her sniff his glove. She rubbed up against him making him smile. She then turned her attention to his left hand and he tensed. Sniffing it longer than the other she licked the gloved fingers and nuzzled into his palm. He felt happiness swell in his chest at that. But just as quickly as she'd gotten there she left, going to lay on the couch.
You looked quizzically at his reaction. "Why did you react weird when she sniffed your left hand?" He sighs. "I would have to tell you anyway so better now than never." Confused you watch him pull off his gloves and jacket. Dark stained shiny metal meets your eyes. You react surprisingly well, eyes lighting up at the sight. "Woah that's so cool!" You round the table to sit next to him. "May I?" He nods and you touch the cool metal. "This is so intricate and beautifully fabricated!" You take the metal hand and turn it over examining the didgets and overlapping plates. "What's it made of?" He hesitates for a moment. "Hi carbon steel." "Ha no I know hi carbon steel when I see it and this is definitely not hi carbon. I can't even imagine the intricate robotics that are in this. That's one topic I've never been very good with." Your eyes get big when you realize something. He expects you to connect that he was the winter soldier but thats not what you say. "Wait is this... Vibranium!?" "Yeah it is." When you get excited at that he finds you adorable. "Do you mind if I see the rest of it? Like where it connects?" "Um... sure." The sleeve of his shirt goes down to his elbow and it's too tight for him to pull it up to his shoulder so he just takes off his shirt.
A bright blush covers your cheeks when you see his bare muscular torso but you turn your attention back to his metal arm. Jagged scars connect to the base of the metal and you observe the slim crack separating the connecting ring from the rest of the metal. "This would be impossible for me to even dream of fabricating. I mean there's musculature blended into the plates, it's incredible!" You didn't realize how close you got to him and when you looked up, your face was only a few inches from his. His right hand pushed another stray strand of hair behind your ear as his gaze flickers over your face. Cupping your jaw he pulls you into him and your lips connect in slow chaste kisses. As it gets a bit heated he scoots his chair away from the table pulling you into his lap. You squeak at his strength and he chuckles against you. The kiss is sweet and slow, languid and relaxed as (Its been a long, long time- Harry James) plays in the background.
Your fingers pull at his short hair eliciting small moans from his throat. His metal hand caresses your lower back as his flesh hand moves to your thigh squeezing gently. He breaks away only to kiss your neck, featherlight at first. Your breathing quickens as his kisses get more passionate. His flesh hand moves further down your thigh and his thumb brushes the inside. You let out a shaky breath nails scratching lightly over the back of his neck. Suddenly the cold feeling of metal on your lower back makes you jolt in surprise. He takes his hands off you. "Didn't hurt you did I?" "No no the metal is cold so when it touched my back, it surprised me." He looks at his metal hand turning it over, clenching and unclenching it. "Hmm yeah I forget about stuff like that." "It would be nice to hold onto when it gets hot out though."
You grab his metal hand in both of your's bringing it up to your cheek. "Like I used to do to my brother. I'd grab a cold can of soda and sneak up on him. Then I'd push the cold can into the back of his neck making him jump." You laugh smiling fondly at the memory. "During the winter you'd have to sleep on my right side." "Heh yeah I probably would. Wait you're already thinking about that stuff?" He rubbs the back of his neck. "I... could see myself living with you. I mean you're nice and intelligent and very interesting. Call me old fashioned but I do want to eventually settle down with a girl." "Huh maybe it was fate that I fell off that scaffolding then, cause I want to settle down eventually too. Just haven't found the right guy, but maybe you're him?" "We should probably take it slow first just to be on the safe side." "Yeah that's a good idea, we need to get to know each other more."
You smile and lean into him giving him a peck on the lips and nose. He chuckles giving you a bright happy grin. Your arms snake around his neck again and you nestle into his embrace, completely comfortable. "I could probably fall asleep like this." You feel him hum deep in his chest. "Yeah I could too." His strong arms wrap around your back, holding you to him gently. A calm quiet envelopes you both and you close your eyes relaxing into him. "You wanna stay the night?" "Sure I might get the best sleep I've had in a while." You stay like that for a while just enjoying each other's embrace.
#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky barns x y/n#avengers fic#falcon and winter solider series#fanfic#southern#40s music
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i’m a 90s rogue hater and a romy disliker and i’m not afraid to say it. also the last like 10ish years of comics for her have been dogshit she’s bland as fuck as totally nonsensical as herself.
#train.txt#CONDEMNING MAGNETO??????? FOR KILLING /THE RED FUCKING SKULL/??????#THE BRAINWASHING XAVIER'S PASSIVE LIBERAL ASS HAS BEEN DOING MUST HAVE BEEN ASTRONOMICAL#WHEN PPL ARE TRYING TO ACT LIKE KILLING A NAZI IS MORALLY BAD YOU KNOW IT'S BAD#JOINING THE AVENGERS???????????? ARE YOU FUCKING TONE DEAF??? ARE YOU INSANE?????#basically half the time she doesn't have a personality anymore she's the semi-quirky (if she's lucky) southern bombshell#WHEN SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE GIRL FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF THE RIVER#when ur name is ROGUE but your even LESS EDGY THAN CYCLOPS
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It’s 2001. 9/11 happens. Don’t worry about that, it’s not relevant.
Your dad is hyped on this game for the Windows Machine. You’re a deer with a gun and you shoot people in camo with orange vests. You and father are both ecstatic. The world will be changed games like this, gamers like you--vegetarian games and gamers. Sometimes your dad lets you shoot the people. You’re bad at it.
It’s 2005. The children at the lunch table slap you with their wet deli ham. They don’t care you have superpowers and want to be a pirate, the first pirate who doesn’t kill people. They tell you pirates kill people and you definitively cannot be a pirate if you don't kill people.
You learn Veggie Tales was programming for children whose faith you don’t share. They’re the same children who eat ham and shoot deer. None of them have or ever will play the deer game.
It’s 2007. You’re into Kingdom Hearts 2. Really, really into Kingdom Hearts 2. You write songs about the ingredients for Ultima Weapon. Your mother is worried. She shouldn’t be, you think--you’ve made merry with the ham children of yore. You all like Pokemon and talk about it a lot. You tell them little stories at lunch and make them laugh. You pretend you don’t like the Pokemon anime.
It’s 2023. You re-experience the Last of Us through the HBO adaptation. You restart the second game while your wife sleeps. She’s a nurse. You’re "working on it."
There’s a dead moose in the second game. The moose makes you think of deer. You think of the deer game for the first time in more than a decade. It brings back the way the mustard and ham felt on your cheek.
You look up “deer shoots oeople game.” Google gets what you mean and doesn’t make a big stink of it. It turns out the deer game is more of a class thing. You shoot hippies too. It wasn’t the vegetarian propaganda you needed as a child. SNL people were in a previous entry. “That’s kind of cool, I guess,” you think. The deer game looks like this:
You’re still a vegetarian. One of the ham children was the best man at your wedding. He tells you that in LA there aren’t vegetarians. There are just vegans and ham children.
You tell him you can’t give up cheese. It’s a problem you have.
#southern goth aesthetic#oklahoma#vegetarian#the deer hunter#it's actually the deer avenger#the last of us#pro gamer#dairy
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The Southern Avengers could use a country singer! A handsome, charismatic young country star who’s getting more popular, uses his music to whip up Southern pride? Maybe his voice is hypnotic or something, able to make Yankees submit or something like that? Think of the studs from Florida Georgia Line or those other guys you like! Scotty Mccreery, Sean what’s his name, Upchurch The Redneck. Scruffy Southern stud with a guitar. Gives a concert up north and by the end of the first few songs the entire crowd of Yankees is literally worshipping him. Other studs would get all pumped up and patriotic from his songs.
Oooh, excellent idea! There’s plenty of country music studs, like the ones I put below. Hunky Southern stud with the power to enslave Yankees with his voice, pump his allies. No idea what his name would be though.
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The way this screen hit me with a steel chair of nostalgia
#;ooc.#starting an og x men tas (re)watch bc. ya kno. tis the mood#90s era x men are truly unrivaled huh#x men and spidey and hulk truly make marvel what it is. the avengers??? idk them. buncha punks.#WE USED TO BE A REAL COUNTRY. NOW ITS IRON MAN THIS IRON MAN THAT SMHHHH#also rip to that security guard in ep 2 but if rogue grabbed me by the arms and gave me uppies I would NOT complain#take me to paradise southern mama idc
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Just recently finished making fried green tomatoes, and yeah need to include that in my XCOM fics somehow.
#Got Jynn. Warren. and some others on the Avenger#Torn and some other southern fried person in the Asian branch#not sure who else#musings#Otto I have things to chat your ear off later#slowly pushing more southern things into my fics
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Home For Christmas
Summary: When your mom puts pressure on you to bring a boyfriend home for Christmas, you turn to Bucky for help.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Southern F. Reader
Warnings: Reader is Southern. Smut. 18+ ONLY. Minors DNI. Fake dating. Maybe a little blasphemous? Fingering in a church. Getting fucked by a peppermint stick.
*A/N: I am Southern. I couldn’t get the idea of bringing Bucky home to the South for Christmas out of my head so this was born. Sorry if this is shit. I’m just getting back into writing again.
Mammaw = grandma
Pappaw = grandpa
^^ this is the peppermint sticks I’m talking about in the fic. I don’t know what they are really called.
See My Masterlist Here
The compound was bustling with Avengers and employees getting ready for the holidays. Everyone was going home or leaving with another member of the team. Everyone except for Bucky. He was quiet and kept to himself most of the time.
He is a grumpy asshole usually, so you just avoided him. You didn’t blame him for his behavior, you’d be the same if you were tortured and brainwashed by Hydra for decades. But the thought of him being alone in the huge, empty walls of the Avenger Compound pulled at your heartstrings. You couldn't leave without extending an invitation to him. There was an ulterior motive too. You were nice but he was a lot to deal with. He was sitting alone in the common room, reading a book when you approach him.
"Hey, do you have a minute?" You ask, looking a little weary as you walk towards him. He raises an eyebrow, locating his bookmark and placing it inside his book as he closes it. "So I know we aren’t exactly friends, but I couldn't leave without asking. Do you want to spend Christmas with me and my family?" Bucky's eyebrows furrow together as he looks at you. "You're serious?" He asks, resting his chin on his fist.
You nod your head, waiting for his answer. "Why would I want to do that?" It was a fair question; one you had even expected. "I just thought you might want to have some company, have a home cooked meal. Nobody should have to spend Christmas alone." He looks at you suspiciously, “What’s the catch?”
You bite your lip, damn he was good at reading you. “Okay, you got me. So my momma has been hounding me about finding a nice man and settling down. Which is crazy. I’m an Avenger and that’s not enough for her. But she is dead set on grand babies and planning a wedding. So I might have lied and told her I had a boyfriend to get her off my back. I also might have told her I’d be bringing him home with me. So, if you come with me maybe you could help me out and pretend to be my boyfriend?”
Bucky laughs, a low gutteral sound escaping him. “No way in hell, princess.” He smirks. “I’ll stay here, order takeout, and get a break from all of you idiots. Why would I want to go home with you and play the part of your doting boyfriend? We barely talk.” You sigh. He made a good point. And if the shoe was on the other foot, you wouldn’t want to help him either.
But you were desperate. You didn’t want to disappoint your mom. She was really excited that you had a serious boyfriend. So you sink to your knees in front of Bucky, putting on the biggest pouty face you could muster. You bat your eyelashes and try to work up a few tears, but they wouldn’t come. “Please Bucky, I’m begging you. I’ll do anything.”
You look into his blue eyes hoping this would work. There had to be something he wanted. Then you saw it, a little flicker of something in his eyes. “Anything?” He asks with a smirk. “Yes. Name it and it’s yours. I’ll do your laundry for a month. I’ll scrub your suit after missions. I’ll cook all your meals. Whatever you want.”
Bucky smiles wolfishly at you, his flesh hand coming up to your face. He cups your cheek, looking into your eyes before dropping his gaze down to your lips. His thumb rubs against your bottom lip as he holds his gaze on you. “So I go home with you, spend Christmas with your family and pretend I’m your boyfriend?”
“Yes, my very serious boyfriend who could pop the question at any time.” I add making sure he knew what I expected. “Fine, I’ll do it.” You look a little surprised but quickly hide it. You thought it would take more convincing. “But I want boyfriend privileges.”
“What does that mean?” You ask, a confused expression on your face. “It means if I’m going to pretend to be your boyfriend I get to enjoy everything a boyfriend would, including having sex with you.” He smirks. Your eyes go wide. “You want to have sex with me? You don’t even like me.”
“You’re right. But I want you. If you want me to play the part then that’s my condition.” You don’t have to think about it, not really. You have eyes. Bucky is a handsome man. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to sleep with him too. But you didn’t want him to know you were eager so you pretended like you were thinking about his offer. Instead you were thinking about his metal hand wrapped around your throat. “Deal.” You stick your hand out to him and he shakes it.
You were an idiot. That was the only explanation you had. You were five hours into a ten and a half hour car ride. The gps kept adding minutes to the trip and traffic was crazy. You should have booked a flight, but you wanted to drive. Now, you were dealing with an aggravated super soldier who was cussing the other drivers on the interstate. You didn’t dare complain when he went over the speed limit or when he gave the finger as he was passing another car. But you did sneak glances every few seconds at him.
He was so hot all riled up like this. The blue vein in his neck throbbing, the wild look in his eyes, the death grip he had on the steering wheel. You had to hold yourself back from offering to blow him right here in the car.
The trip down south was long and almost torturous. When Bucky wasn’t yelling at the other drivers, he was fighting with you. But you survived. When you see the big sign welcoming you to your home state, you couldn’t contain your excitement. You point out all your old hang outs, telling Bucky stories about your childhood as you drove through your town. Finally, he pulls into your driveway. Your Mom’s, Mammaw’s, and Aunt’s houses were all decorated for Christmas. You loved that they were all neighbors. Most of your family lives pretty close by.
You get out of the car, letting the cool air hit you. You take in your surroundings. The trees were bare from shedding their leaves but it was still beautiful here. Bucky gets out doing the same. You both carry your bags to your old childhood bedroom that your mom had set up to accommodate the two of you. You give Bucky a tour since nobody was home. He stops to look at the big Christmas tree with presents underneath. He looks at the ornaments, turning over one you had made in Sunday School when you were a little girl. He looks like he is about to make some smart ass remark when he freezes.
His eyes land on something and you follow his gaze to the stockings your mom hung up. They were all red velvet with your family’s names embroidered in gold cursive on them. They were all filled to the brim, some candy poking out of the top. Bucky touches one gently, a look of disbelief on his face. Then you see it too. Your mom had gotten him a stocking. It was hung right beside yours. And in the same gold letters as everyone else’s, ‘Bucky’ was on it and it was overflowing more than the others.
“I’ve never had a stocking like this.” He admits quietly. “We were poor and my ma just got us oranges and apples. She would bake a cake and we might get one gift . A toy gun for me, a doll for my sister. Nothing like this.” You grab his flesh hand, rubbing your thumb along the top of it. You’re interrupted when your mom comes in. Her eagle eyes on your hand in Bucky’s, a huge smile on her face.
You run to her, giving her a big hug. “Momma, this is my boyfriend, Bucky.” You gesture to him, and he walks over shaking her hand. “I’m James Barnes, ma’am. But you can call me Bucky.” He flashes her a huge smile and she blushes. You roll your eyes. He was really laying it on thick.
After you caught up with her and Bucky answered all of her questions, you all go over to your Mammaw’s house. She was watching Bonanza on tv. She loves those old western shows. She and Bucky talked for ages about them. Apparently, he was a fan too. You and your mom carried in wood for her stove while he kept her company. “We are gonna have to borrow the neighbor’s wood splitter again. We have almost used up all her chopped wood.” Your mom tells you.
“I can split it.” Bucky offers. You give him a surprised look. “You will?” He nods his head. “Just show me where everything is. I’ll take care of it.” You shrug and take him outside. Showing him where he can bust the wood. You give him a an axe and some old work gloves before heading inside to watch westerns.
After an hour, you go outside to check on him and bring him some water. When you go back in, you find your mom and Mammaw at the window giggling like school girls. “What?” You ask. Your mom motions you over and you look out the window just in time to see Bucky take his black henley off. His muscles are slick with sweat. He swings the axe down forcefully and the muscles in his back move sinfully. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head.
You hear your Mammaw gasp as he continues chopping the wood. Your mom pats you on the back, “You did great, honey.” You giggle, actually giggle. You can’t help it. He looks incredible and you’re glad he came up with the whole sex idea or else you would put your pride aside and beg him to fuck you. He busts the last piece, propping the axe up against the wood pile and heading toward the house. You’ve never seen your Mammaw run so fast to get back in her rocking chair.
You take Bucky to visit your Pappaw. He showed him his gun collection. Which you think was his way of threatening him. Your pappaw sends you out to get lunch for everyone, but keeps Bucky there with him. You’d love to be a fly on the wall. Pappaw is probably giving him the whole ‘what are your intentions with my granddaughter’ talk. When you left, he shook Bucky’s hand and told you he was a fine young man. So their talk must have went well.
The next night, you and Bucky were going with your mom to watch the church Christmas program. That was one thing about your mom, she raised you to be a Southern Baptist and you were expected to go to church if you were home. This time was no different. You put on a long sleeve dress, fix your hair, and put on a little mascara. Bucky is wearing dark jeans and a long sleeve button up. Your sister, her boyfriend, your Mammaw and your Pappaw were all at the church too. They sat on your mom’s usual pew, three up from the back on the left side.
There wasn’t any room for you and Bucky so you sat behind them. The church was unusually full, but they were expecting a lot of people to come. That’s what happens when there’s a Christmas program and a dinner afterward. People loved free food. All the little old ladies you went to church with your whole life came over to gawk at Bucky.
They were giving him peppermints and hard candies from the bottoms of their pocket books. They were hugging him, and feeling his muscles. They all told you how good you had done in getting a man like him. They told him how handsome he was. They pinched his cheeks. And one even pretended like she needed help walking back to her pew. But you had seen her just moments ago running over to scold a child who was trying to stick his finger in the cake she baked for after the program. Bucky took her arm and led her to the front of the church. Her grip on his muscled arm tight the whole time.
Finally the choir started singing and the program begins. You shivered, regretting your decision to not wear tights. The temperature in the church varies. It was either freezing or you were sweating. You grab a blanket off the back of your mom’s pew and laid it on your lap. You scoot closer to Bucky, hoping his body heat would help.
The children get up to start their part of the program. Bucky lifts the blanket and puts it over his left side, his metal hand underneath it. Your breath hitches when you feel the cold metal of his hand on your bare thigh. You look at him questioningly. He smiles and winks then turns his attention back to the children singing. His hand moves higher until it stops at the edge of your panties. Your eyes go wide and you put your hand over his, a silent plea to stop.
He reaches over with his flesh hand and moves your hand away. He moves his cool fingers under your panties, sliding them against your center. He gathers your slick, bringing it up to your clit and swirling his vibranium thumb. You grip his thigh and try to pay attention to the program. He slides two fingers inside you and you bite your lip to stifle the moan that escapes you. You’ve never been more thankful for the kids’ loud off key singing.
You look around to make sure no one is paying attention to you. Thankfully everyone is watching the program or taking pictures of the kids. You lay your head against his shoulder, making it look like you were cuddling your boyfriend enjoying the Christmas show. When you were really just trying to hide your face as it contorts in pleasure. Bucky’s fingers set a brutal pace as his cool thumb worked your clit. It was all too much. How he looked yesterday chopping the wood, how everyone loved him, the way he was taking you apart in the one place he absolutely shouldn’t. One more curl of his fingers and swipe to your clit and you were falling apart on Bucky’s fingers in church with your face buried in his shirt.
Finally your last day home arrived, Christmas Day. Your mom made a huge breakfast that your family came over to eat. Then you sat in front of the tree to open presents. You all started with your stockings. Truthfully, you were more excited to watch Bucky open his than to see what was in yours. He dumped it out. Candy, chocolates, candy canes, all kinds of treats spilled on the floor. Bucky’s whole face lit up in a smile. He had never looked more handsome.
He opened the gifts your mom got him, a couple shirts and a watch. He thanked her graciously. Then you hand him the gift you were eager to surprise him with. You ordered it online and had it shipped to your mom’s house and she wrapped it for you. He looks surprised as he opens it, a record player and some old records you had to pay an arm and a leg for. They were hard to find too. You asked Steve what music Bucky liked back in the day and you searched for days to find them on vinyl.
He pulls you in for a hug. “This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had.” He whispers in your ear. You hold him tighter. The rest of the day is spent watching Christmas movies and eating cookies. Your mom set up a hot chocolate bar on the table with marshmallows, whip cream, sprinkles and peppermint sticks. It was a cute idea she got from Pinterest.
That night, you hug your mom goodnight as she heads to bed. You and Bucky stay up a little longer. Bucky was acting a little weird. He went out to the shed where your mom stored her Christmas decorations and he was being secretive. When you asked about it, he told you it was a surprise. So you stopped asking questions and tried to finish watching The Year Without A Santa Claus. When it was over, you went to your childhood bedroom where Bucky had been for a while.
“Can I come in yet?” You ask as you stick your head in the doorway. When Bucky nods, you shut and lock the door behind you. “Strip.” He commands. You don’t hesitate. You would walk on hot coals barefoot if he asked you to. You place all your clothes in a pile on the floor and stand bare before him. “Get on the bed.” He gestures with his vibranium finger. You lay down and watch as he pulls something out from under the bed. Old Christmas lights that your mom didn’t use this year.
Bucky must have been in here untangling them. He holds your wrists above your head and wraps the lights around them. Then he brings it down your arms and to your chest. He binds it around your breasts and over your stomach. You try to move your wrists, but it’s too tight. Not enough to hurt but maybe a little uncomfortable.
He stands at the foot of the bed admiring you. “Perfect.” He grabs the mug of peppermint sticks your mom had set out off the dresser, twirling one between his fingers. He lays on the bed between your legs pressing a kiss to inside your thigh. You feel his scruffy cheeks against your thighs and you shiver. He leans his head down and licks up your center. Bucky’s flesh hand grabs your thigh, spreading your legs wider.
He looks up at you from between your thighs. His blue eyes never leaving yours as he puts the peppermint stick in his mouth. He twirls it between his lips, getting it wet. He removes it with a plop, and he brings it down, sliding it inside you with ease. His warm tongue flicks your clit, the peppermint making it tingle.
You moan as he swirls his skilled muscle around you. Bucky works the peppermint stick slowly moving it in and out. Each time he puts it back inside you, he angles it to reach that spot that makes you see stars and your toes curl. He rolls his tongue over you as he pumps the peppermint stick faster.
You arch your back and try to get closer to him. You want to reach down and tangle your fingers in his hair while he tastes you. But you can’t move your arms because of the Christmas lights he tied you with. Bucky removes the peppermint stick and brings it to his mouth, sucking your arousal off it. He moans, looking in your eyes as he slurps you off it.
He lowers his head again, his now icy mouth closing around your clit. He sucks you between his lips, his tongue flicking against it gently. You writhe underneath him as he holds your hips down with his metal arm. He slides the peppermint stick back inside you as his lips tug your clit. He moans against you and that’s your undoing. You cry out as your orgasm crashes through you, wrecking you. Bucky keeps up the good work until your shuddering subsides.
The next morning, you both tell your family goodbye. Bucky packs all your belongings into the car and you start the long journey back to the compound. This time instead of yelling at the other drivers, Bucky holds your hand the whole way. “I can’t wait to come back next year.” He tells you with a huge smile on his face.
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THE 2024 Entertainment Auction by Heritage Auctions on 12/7
http://ha.com
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Children of the Rashidieh refugee camp in Sour, southern Lebanon broke out in a march in support of Palestine.
"O resistance fighter, do it again! Kidnap a soldier and free the prisoners! All the prisoners!"
"With our blood and with our souls, we will avenge you, O Palestine!
#gaza under attack#gaza under genocide#lebanon#free gaza#gaza strip#gazaunderattack#gaza genocide#gazaunderfire#save gaza#genocide in gaza#gaza#stand with gaza#gaza fights for freedom#gaza free#palestinian liberation#palestinian lives matter#palestinian resistance#free palestine#genocide in palestine#i stand with palestine#free free palestine#palestine will be free#palestine will never die#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#palestine genocide#palestinian genocide#palestinians#pro palestine#save palestine#palestine
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