#source: Leverage

[teenwolfpackincorrectcaptions]

Derek: You do realize that stunt you pulled defines "out of control"? Stiles: I just wanted you to see that I would never put any of you at risk if I wasn't willing to take the same chances myself. Derek: I love how you think that's comforting.

[gothamundernightlight]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Batman: Did you take care of the guard?

Robin!Jason: Yeah! Dick told me to distract him but I thought that would take too long.

Flashback

Robin: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Robin: *chloroforms guard

Flashback end

Batman: What? He’s gonna wake up in like three hours?!

Robin: It was either that or push him out the window. You disapproved the last time I did that.

[dresdenfilesincorrectquotes]

Harry: Doing magic without my staff or blasting rod is nearly impossible. It's like asking Michael to fight demons with a Nerf foam sword.

Michael: Damascus, 1996. It wasn't as difficult as you'd think.

[the-black-bulls]

Magna: Give a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a day. But set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

Finral: ...I don’t think that’s how it goes.

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Rogue: So, what, the salt was plan B? Wizard: No, no, that's, ah, that's plan M. Sorcerer: Don't I die in plan M? Wizard: Yeah, usually. Sorcerer: What you mean, usually? How many plans do I die in? Wizard: C, F, and M through Q. Sorcerer: C, that's a little close to home. You need to switch that up. How many plans does Bard die in? Wizard: None. And Fighter none. And Rogue… nnehh. So there is a plan where Fighter comes out of it with a scar from the temple through the eye all the way down to their mouth- Fighter : Ooh! I'd look so cool with a scar! Rogue: Wait, wait, wait, go back, hold on, let's-let's rewind--you skipped past me! You skipped past me. Wizard: Well, I have one, there is a plan, but it's evolving. Rogue: Okay, that's creepy. Don't you think that's creepy? They're planning my death.

[incorrect-piltover-quotes]

Ezreal: Is it true that Jinx once spent three days in the trunk of a car waiting to scare you?

Caitlyn: No.

Jinx: It was five.

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Leo: Karai saved my life. Twice! Karai: Once. And a half. April: How do you half save someone's life? Karai: I was the one that was sent to kill him, so I figure that only counts as half, right? April: That actually makes sense.

[crybabycunt]

Kate: Did you hear about this? The Tracksuit Mafia are dropping people from 20 feet? It's unbelievable.

Yelena: I know, right? Twenty feet. Walk it off.

Kate: Yelena, you do know that normal people just don't "walk off" a 20 foot fall, right?

Yelena: So, all those times I pushed guys off a building, and they were all, 'AAAHHHH!,' they weren't just being funny?

Kate: No.

Yelena: Huh, I thought it was funny.

[incorrect-targon-quotes]

Leona: You were spying on us?

Aphelios: I mean... I tailed you. Just like Diana taught me when we trained together.

Leona: [glares at Diana]

Diana: I teach every kid I meet how to do crime. Crime is fun.

[autisticzenitsu]

Giyuu: What's that smell? Tengen: It's fresh air. Giyuu: I don't like it.

[incorrect-esmp-quotes]

Katherine: You bought me a gift?

Joey: I wouldn’t say “bought” exactly… I obtained.

[teenwolfpackincorrectcaptions]

Stiles: Peter saved my life. Twice! Peter: Once. And a half. Scott: How do you half save someone's life? Peter: I was the one that was sent to kill him, so I figure that only counts as half, right? Scott: That actually makes sense.

[inncorrect-starklings]

Val: {Stares}

Jon: What?

Val: Creepy…

Jon: Oh god…

Val: It’s like you’re haunting us

Jon: Val! I’m not really dead

Val: {pokes Jon}

Jon: Stop it!

[terrorquotestm]

Stanley: Give a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a day. But set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

[the-black-bulls]

Asta: Noelle saved my life. Twice!

Noelle: Once. And a half.

Yuno: How do you half save someone's life?

Noelle: I was the one who accidentally threw him off the cliff before saving him, so I figure that only counts as half, right?

Yuno: Huh.

Yuno: That actually makes sense.

[daemon-is-perfectly-unhinged]

Simon Strong: Daemon saved my life. Twice!

Daemon: Once. And a half.

Rhaegar: How do you half save someone's

life？

Daemon: I was the one that wanted to kill him and decided not to, so I figure that only counts as half, right?

Jon: That actually makes sense.