incorrect-esmp-quotes

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Sausage, to Sausage Supreme threatening Hermes: You ever put your hands on my son again and you won't be going to jail...

Sausage: I will be.

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Shelby: You either die a cinnamon roll or live long enough to see yourself become “would kill you.”

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Sausage: Is there another word for “horny”, but not in a sexual way?

Sausage: Like, I'm horny for Halloween, but I don't want to fuck a pumpkin.

Gem: ...you mean “excited”?

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Lizzie: Joel! I thought I told you to wear an actual costume!

Joel: I am.

Lizzie: You’re just wearing a trash bag! Are you seriously going as trash for Halloween?

Joel: That's close, but actually no.

Joel: I'm going as Jimmy.

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Gem: So I’m bisexual, so what? It’s a thing and it’s real. I mean, it’s called “LGBTQ” for a reason.

Gem: There’s a B in there and it doesn’t mean badass.

Gem: …Okay, it kind of does.

Gem: But it also means bi.

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Shubble: Joey threw a peanut butter sandwich at you?

Oli: He threw a peanut butter sandwich at you! I stopped it. With my head

Shubble: Oli, your a good friend

Oli: Awww

Oli: Dude I’m your only friend

.

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Pixlriffs: No fighting! Violence never solves anything!

Katherine & Gem, running up: STAB THEM, BITCH!

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fWhip: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

Gem: Wow, who would've thought?

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Sausage, at his tavern: Woah, you two look like you need a drink. I say that to all my customers but this time I mean it.

Shelby: No, thanks. That’s just gonna make me sadder. And then happier. And then sadder.

Joey: Me and Shelby both had our hearts broken.

Sausage: Wow, you two are really hurt, huh?

Joey:

Sausage: Noice! I don’t wanna miss this…

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Joey: I know we’ve had our differences…

Shelby: We tried to kill each other!

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Sausage: [laying facedown on the ground and groaning]

Pixlriffs: Maybe you'd be more comfortable in your own bedroom.

Sausage: No, I like the attention.

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Jimmy: I’m sorry I tried to kill you for the Crown.

Gem: It’s fine, Jimmy, but next time try harder.

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Shelby: I'd like to work with you. But it's a little hard to trust someone who tried to kill me 4 times.

Joey: That sounds high. Are you counting when I threw a chair at you?

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Shelby: I need you to stir, with your dominant hand, counterclockwise.

Oli: *stares blankly*

Shelby: To the left.

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Joey: Yeah I understand women. They all want daggers and swords. It's quite simple really.

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Katherine: *talking about whatever*

Shelby’s mind: Bla bla bla… proper name… place name... backstory stuff...

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Katherine & Shelby: *holding hands*

Joey: I don't approve of this

Shelby: Wow I thought you were bi?

Joey: THAT'S NOT WHAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH AND YOU KNOW IT!