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Shelby: I lied. Katherine and I can never be just friends. I wrote down a list of bullet points why Katherine and I should be together, and I'm going to find the perfect moment today and tell her.

Shelby: [reading from the smudged writing on her hand]

Shelby: Number one: Katherine, you and I are soup snakes. The...and the reason is...because in terms of the soup, we like-- that doesn't make any sense.

Shelby: We're soulmates. Katherine and I are soulmates.

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Lizzie: I was thinking about how I’d make the perfect empress, based on my skill set, dance ability, and blood lust.

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fWhip: C’mon, we’re gonna love working together!

Jimmy: Why? We don’t even like living together.

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Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

— Scott, probably

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Joey: Will you be my Valentine?

Katherine: Finally, someone asked!

Katherine: No.

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Jimmy: Can you come collect your freak of a son please? He's doing things.

Joel: No, I set him loose on purpose. He needs enrichment.

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Jimmy: How are you going to explain this?

fWhip: I'm going to guess verbally because, judging by your tone, you're not in the mood for the dance I've prepared.

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Sausage: Is Gem talking to herself?

Gem: Yes, because it's the only way to have an intelligent conversation around here.

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Pixlriffs: An Egyptian deity has two souls called the ba and the ka.

Pixlriffs: The first is present in the blood.

Pixlriffs: The second is in the goddesses heart which is preserved in her mummy.

Sausage: Why did she give her heart to her mother?

Pixlriffs: [grunts in confusion]

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Sausage: Shelby! My tears! My tears of friendship fell on your grave and brought you back to life.

Shelby: Sausage, please. This isn't some cheesy holo movie. It was the renewing power of the force.

Sausage:

Shelby: Okay, and maybe your tears, a little.

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Joel: What must it be like to live in your head? Are there happy ponies in there? It’s really something how utterly delusional your optimism is. If it didn't irritate me so much, I might even be impressed.

Gem: Huzzah! I got a heavily qualified and slightly sarcastic compliment from Joel!

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Shelby: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why.

Scott: Only if you don't ask why.

Scott: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of his bag* Choose one.

Shelby:

Shelby: This one will do.

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Gem: Hey fWhip, I’ve got an idea for how to solve this.

fWhip, pulling out a stack of TNT: Yeah?

Gem: Wh- No! That’s not the idea, fWhip!

Lizzie: No, Gem. That's the idea. Buckle up, we got shit to blow up.

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Sausage: How are you more stressed out about the Tea Party than me?

Jimmy: Katherine and Gem threatened me with death if I wasn't present.

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fWhip: Have you ever looked at an authority figure and thought ‘Wow, I respect a well-grilled hot dog more than I respect you’?"

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Katherine: "What about straight people?", what the hell is a straight person? Only straight thing I know is the edge of my beloved sword.

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Oli: This is a bit of a weird question, but does Sausage think in English or Spanish?

Gem: Bold of you to assume Sausage thinks at all.