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Diana: You know, if you think about it, the law is subjective.

Leona: Yep! And the dungeon is just a room you can't get out of.

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Diana: Can I please bring you to my next therapy session?

Leona: Why?

Diana: My therapist thinks I’m making you and all your issues up.

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Diana: Hey, do you still have feelings for me?

Leona: Well, yeah.

Diana: Aww, me too.

Leoma: Like hatred, disappointment, anger and you know, stuff like that.

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Diana: We’re not seeing each other anymore. Can you accept that?

Leona: Fine. I just want to be friends.

Diana: Good.

Leona: Plus a little extra.

Leona: Also, I love you.

Diana:

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"Have you ever looked at an authority figure and thought ‘Wow, I respect a well-grilled hot dog more than I respect you’?"

— Diana

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Diana: Come on, son. Time to prepare for bloodshed.

Aphelios: Uh... whose blood?

Diana: Anyone’s guess!

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Diana: Hate when people are like "trust your gut! listen to your intuition!" like okay, well, my gut is telling me every person I lay eyes on is hunting me for sport and my intuition is saying I should find a secluded cave and live there forever so what do you suggest I do with that information?

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Diana: My girlfriend is an angel and makes me want to be a better person.

Leona: My girlfriend is crazy as fuck and is probably taking me to hell with her, but it's alright because I'm already going to hell.

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Diana: I love the phrase “with all due respect” because it doesn’t specify how much respect is due. Could be none. Bitch.

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Leona: Diana and I are courting again!

Soraka: We already knew that?

Diana: But we started courting two days ago?

Soraka: What the fuck were you doing before then?

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Diana: Did I accomplish my goals for this year? No.

Diana: But did I look after my mental and physical health? No.

Diana: But did I maintain a proper diet and sleep schedule?

Diana:

Diana: Listen—

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Leona & Diana: 3...2...1... Happy New Year! *start kissing*

Taric: Guys, it's not even midnight yet. Can you stop making out every time the microwave goes off?

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Diana: Yeah, I'm doomed by the narrative, but I have a little time to be absolutely gay.

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Melia: Leona! Who’s down there with you?

Leona: IT’S DIANA, MOTHER.

Melia: Diana? What’s she want?

Leona: I DON’T KNOW.

Leona, turning to Diana: What DO you want?

Diana: Me? I don’t want anything, I just came in to get warm!

Leona: SHE’S MAKING VIOLENT LOVE TO ME, MOTHER.

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Aphelios: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

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Diana: Christmas is cancelled.

Zoe: You can't cancel a holiday.

Diana: Keep it up, Zoe, and you'll lose New Year's too.

Zoe: What does that even mean?

Diana: Aphelios, take New Year's away from Zoe.

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Soraka: It’s Christmas time, you know what that means!

Diana: The happiness I haven’t felt since fifth grade?

Taric: Everyone trying to kill each other on the dinner table?

Leona: The sweet release of death?

Soraka: I was gonna say “ugly sweaters competition” but you know what? We’re all going to therapy.