#source: I am trans and exhausted

[cutecipher]

Okay sorry I really have exhausted my options on this. I need to cover $400 to get my narcolepsy medication. I depend on it to work and function but I've been out for weeks and I am struggling to do basically everything. I'm a disabled trans woman building free and open source tools for better internets (and I post for Ricky on @rickybabyboy), please help me out if you can.

$235/$400 raised! Almost halfway there!!

Venmo: AGIEF

Paypal: agieocean@gmail.com

Ko-fi:

[vaspider]

Intro Post, updated January 16, 2025.

Due to the unfortunate level of scam requests I have received, I no longer reblog donation or fundraiser requests from blogs I do not recognize. Don't follow me just to submit a signal boost request. I notice, & I will just delete your ask and block you.

No, that doesn't mean I think you, personally, are a scammer. I just don't have the hours in my day to sift through the number of asks I get and verify them, so if I don't recognize someone from prior interaction, I just won't do it. Yes, I agree. It does suck that shitty people have made this necessary.

I post all other asks as they were submitted, with the exception of fundraisers from blogs I don't recognize. I answer at my whim and not upon demand. I will never honor requests to answer asks privately or anonymously. Anon is never turned on. These are hard self-care boundaries. Please block the tag "harassment tag" if you don't want to see to some of the horrible shit I get sent sometimes.

I will only reblog/repost/boost a given fundraiser once every 7 days. Period. Sending me more asks will not change that. If you only interact with me to ask for signal boosts, I'll just block you with no response. That is the only exception to my "post all asks" policy. I am a person, not a public resource. Don't make me feel used. It's exhausting.

If you like what I do, please consider hiring me, buying something from my company, NerdyKeppie, buying me a coffee, becoming a Patron or tossing some money in my PayPal tip jar. I am a disabled, queer, Jewish, non-binary butch, and those sources plus freelance writing are my entire income.

Here is the cast of many of the frequently-mentioned entities in my posts.

I will not debate my identity with anyone. I am a transmasculine non-binary butch lesbian, a cripple, a dyke, and lots of other things, too. You don't get a vote in that, and if any of those words are words you object to someone using in reference to himself, block me. I won't censor my identity for your comfort; it took a lot of hard work over decades to become proud of who I am.

ACAB includes gender/sexuality cops. You aren't the mayor of Dyketown or the burgermeister of Transberg, so fuck off.

Mom is a job title to me. I'm okay with being called Mama Spider, but no other feminine terms.

No, I am not an anti or an anti-anti. Leave me alone.

No, I won't DM you.

No, I won't answer your question about Israel.

No, I won't talk to you about I/P.

Nothing above the above two things means anything other than that I don't talk about those things online.

Don't project your shit onto me. I do not consent to being your straw man.

I will not perform Good Jew or Good Queer on demand, whatever that means to you in this instant. Fuck off.

Yes, I've been out for a very long time. No, I'm not interested in being lectured by people half my age over shit that happened when you weren't alive yet.

"Man bad/woman good" is regressive TERF/right-wing shit, it doesn't matter how you dress it up. Knock it off.

Curate your own experiences. If you don't like seeing what I write, then add 'vaspider' to your "filtered content" list, and don't bother me about it. Tumblr is a 17+ environment, and I am not responsible for you seeing things you don't like. My daughter and stepkid are both old enough to drink. I raised my kids. I'm not raising you or any other kids.

Anyone who tries to turn you on your fellow workers or trans people or queer people or fellow Jews is doing the work of fascists for them. Act accordingly.

My icon has lore, apparently.

I never answer asks privately and anon is never turned on.

[luxiomahariel]

People who always spout the "trans men have male privilege" fail to realize several things that systematically are the reasons that cis men do-

Trans men largely dont hold positions of political power

Trans men largely dont have generational wealth, even if their family has a history of it good luck getting any

Trans men dont get offered jobs and positions simply on the fact that they are men unlike cis men

Trans men are systematically abused and denied care in medicine specifically because of their gender identity, unlike cis men

Trans men still experience wage gaps especially in places that force/require documentation with their birth name or other legal documents that would give away their trans-ness

Not even an exhaustive list just a few things I remembered off the top of my head that are already documented by better sources

- And notice how a lot of these things are common to the trans experience of ANY gender, (or at least a similar version of these experiences), so you would think people would be able to recognize those patterns, but no. All that goes out the window because some people froth at the mouth any time they hear the word "man"

-- I am not a transmasc person

^

[daisylark]

Hey, this is kinda gonna be a rant so if you're not in the mood for that feel free to delete.

I saw your post -

https://www.tumblr.com/daisylark/741324260680794112/man-takes-a-womans-spot-in-a-womens-shelter-and?source=share

- and it hit me a certain way. Yes, I understand that this man is making it up, it's a fantasy. But I am a woman who has actually experienced living in a homeless shelter with a man, and it got to me.

I was 19 at the time, this was about six years ago. Literally the first thing he said to me when I walked in was that he still had his dick. (He phrased it as being intact and not having had bottom surgery.) I had no idea what he was talking about. at the time I was unfamiliar with trans ideology. Frantically googling to figure out what was happening was how I originally found radfems, bc they were the only people calling this shit out.

I could go on, but the thing that really gets me is that this experience was six or seven years ago, right. I'm in a better, more stable place in life, and have been seeking therapy for several years now. And the worst thing is THAT EXPERIENCE SPECIFICALLY has been a consistent impediment to getting to help.

Because even when I find a therapist, which is harder than you'd think, and do intake, which is exhausting and damaging every time, etc etc etc, so far no one can handle the specific trauma that I have from seeking shelter when I was at my most vulnerable and being gaslit and forced to cohabit with a man by the ppl who should have protected me.

And because my story is such a hot button issue, everyone kind of blue screens when they hear about it. Y'know? It's a little much to believe, in the current political climate, if you're trying to be a good progressive or whatever, that a 6ft pwecious wittle twans woman would act like that in a woman's homeless shelter. He was in his 40s btw. Ppl don't want to engage with it. They want me to be quiet. They've already decided I'm exaggerating.

The last therapist I had I started talking about this experience and the way it damaged my trust in institutions and so on, and the therapist interrupted to be confused, called him "they," and was asking about how he identified. I can be sitting right in front of someone I've known for months and the moment a man is brought up his hypothetical feelings take precedence over me.

So I understand that the reddit post is made up. But I saw it and I had to say, this shit fucking happens. It happens and it's real. The fawning over him doesn't happen quite like that, but in my experience, if a man is admitted to a woman's shelter his needs are already being prioritized and that is unlikely to change. I hate these men - the ones who go to the shelters, the ones who fantasize about it, the ones who support it. I won't forgive anyone who supports it.

Thank you for hearing me out.

Thank you so much for sharing this. I am so sorry that this happened to you. These are exactly the kind of things that we are afraid of. These are the things that people insist never happen, but they do.

These kind of things were the main things that peaked me. That a man's feelings would matter more than a woman's physical safety. It's horrifying.

[isalisewrites]

I’ve literally seen whole ass men identify as trans women the minute they knew they had to go to prison and face the violence of other men. And I’ve seen them do this while being in jail for rape, which is absolutely insane. I wish it wasn’t true and I could pretend this wasn’t real (regarding that post you reblogged about rapists being treated better than trans women) but this phenomenon has been documented enough times for it to be a problem.

*lets out a long exhausted sigh*

"This phenomenon has been documented enough times for it to be a problem."

And you have this phenomenon well documented, then, do you? With legitimate sources and not right wing propaganda?

See, this is the problem.

You're an anonymous person sending me an anonymous ask on tumblr. You claim you've seen all this? How am I to believe you on this? Now maybe you have seen this, who knows. But this is so fucking wild to me that you expect me to believe you.

Now, unlike you, I have some facts and numbers with sources.

According to the World Prison Population List, there are 10.2 million people in prison. 2.2 million of these people are in the USA. 84k of these people are in the UK.

According to the UCLA School of Law Williams Institute, 1.6 million Americans identify as transgender, which is 0.6% of the American population. At that rate, there are at least 48 million transgender people in the world. Other sources suggest that this percentage lowballs the true world population, which might be from 1% to 3%. Which means that the world transgender population ranges from 48 million to upwards to 240 million.

To put this number in perspective, Amish people have a population of around 400,000, Mormons have a population of 17 million (though, there's likely only 3 million active), and the Jewish population is around 20 million.

I would never demonize an entire group of people for the crimes of others. While I am appalled by the actions of Israel against the people of Gaza, I would never demonize Jewish people as a whole. They are not at fault for their leaders.

As much as I speak out against Mormonism, I have never demonized the people as a whole. I speak out against the corruption in the organization and the leaders, where they continues to control their people through lies.

There are bad people in this world, yes. There always has been and, unfortunately, there always will be.

But the issue around transphobia is how an entire minority is being targeted because of lies, fears, and propaganda. Are there bad transpeople in this world? Certainly. Bad people exist in all populations.

But that does not give us the right to target the people as a whole. Why are we demonizing transpeople? Why are we targeting this minority?

Because it's not about protecting women.

It's NEVER been about protecting women. It's never about protecting women in prison or out of prison.

It's about controlling women.

Men as a whole really do not like women. They're socialized from birth to believe that anything feminine--crying, showing feelings, playing with dolls or other 'girly' toys, wearing girly colors, etc-- equates to weakness. It's weak to not be masculine.

So, the idea that an AMAB would want to be a woman is inconceivable to men. They're a threat.

Let's say there is a rising problem where criminals are trying to identify as transgender to change prisons or for other reasons. The prison population is still a small population and this problem can EASILY be contained within the prison system. There are ways to curb this within the prison system itself.

THERE IS NO GOOD VIABLE REASON TO TARGET 48 MILLION TO UPWARDS 240 MILLION PEOPLE ON THE ACTIONS OF CRIMINALS.

If we did really did things on this basis, then we would have more strict laws for EVERYONE. People as a whole would be held accountable for the actions of murderers, serial killers, and other criminals.

Ridiculous. I'm tired of this fear mongering.

People who target others like this are driven by fear and hate of self. TERFs hate their own womanhood because of misogyny and growing up in an obsessive patriarchal society. JKR's essay makes it clear that she hates herself and her own womanhood. Her actions are fueled by fear and hatred.

That is not how we as a society should make decisions about the lives of millions of people. We need a balance between logical critical reasoning and a heartfelt of compassion and love.

But no one wants to do that.

Everyone would rather lash out than work towards true harmony.

Because it's easier that way. It's harder to face your own self, to face both your light side and your shadow side. Some people are simply too weak to face themselves head on. This is why these things persist. This is why we're constantly having these battles, again and again. In this decade, it's transpeople. In precious decades, it was gay people.

It's a never ending cycle of hatred and fear.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/765221485179731968/writing-about-my-favorite-characters-as?source=share

I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this, anon. I'm even sadder that it's not an uncommon story.

As another trans writer (trans woman, in my case) that's stumbled into other people eviscerating her works for "fetishizing" and being "het in f/f's clothing" I really sympathize with you, dude. The way I look at it is that you cannot try alter who you are for these people. They will always find a way to dislike you because you are their ideological enemy. They dislike seeing trans men in what they see as their ship tags, not yours, so they will always find something they view as a flaw and flog you for it until you either conform or leave.

I've had a similar experience to yours, though not a literal thread dedicated to me. Ouch. I write f/f and sometimes that features non-op/pre-op trans characters because I am personally non-op after many years on E, and I'm always astounded by how it obviously upsets people that otherwise claim to be progressive. I also tag things extensively and I even include some terminology clarifications at the beginning of smut fics so that everyone knows what they're getting into. It doesn't matter to them. It'll never matter to them what you or I do, so why bother trying to coddle them?

There are readers that like my works, but after walking into a fandom Discord's NSFW fic channel, I saw how many people assume that my fics are written by a cis person or the fabled Dirty Fetishizer. It's one thing to intellectually know this happens and another to see your own work - something that you as a trans person created to talk about some part of yourself - ripped apart as this nasty tripe that no "real" trans person would write or read.

To make matters worse, I saw all that after I went through a rather nasty spate of transphobic anons when the fandom was very young. It was so tiring. I was exhausted. Seeing virulent hate in the real world and then having it thrown in my face for writing characters in a way that people disagreed with was just too much for me.

My way of dealing with this was disengaging from my own fandom, turning off anons on tumblr, and blocking anyone I even felt slightly annoyed by just in case it boiled over into something else. It sucks, but it's how I continue to have fun with writing for my ships. I basically never go into my ship tags on Tumblr now, I curate whose fics I read carefully, and I only hang out in one Discord server that's very small. I still read and comment on others' works when I have the mental bandwidth for it, but I avoid most other writers, especially those I don't know just in case they're part of that -phobe segment, and keep the most vocally unpleasant authors permanently muted for my own sake.

Frankly, it is what it is, as thought terminating as that phrase can be, and I gave up trying with these people/this fandom. You could keep trying to interact with the greater fandom, but you should block the assholes that disregarded your lived experience for your own mental health.

It's an isolating process for sure, but that's why I supplemented it with seeking out other fandom friends, most of whom are trans. Maybe we disagree with headcanons, and in a lot of cases we're polar opposites, but we all stick together because otherwise we're all thrown into isolation. That, and I always try to focus on the folks that do like what I write.

--

[orchideous-nox]

There is an epidemic of transphobia spreading through this fandom amidst announcements from the reboot, and this needs to be acknowledged. And to make this clear, I’m not talking about characters in skirts. I said I wasn’t going to talk about the show anymore but I no longer feel like I can tiptoe around it because of events in the last few weeks. The longer I contain my thoughts in an attempt to not come across as messy or starting drama, the more guilty I feel for participating in this fandom as if I am not aware of the implications it has. There is only so long I can pander to an algorithm that leads people to source material that I condemn. With every announcement I’m seeing more people talking about it, hyping it up, telling people to go back to the originals, and anyone trying to dissuade people from engaging with the reboot is shut down.

I try my best to use the small platform I have to be authentic and hold people accountable. This fandom is supposed to go against everything it’s maker puts out into the world, but sometimes the call is coming from inside the house and I’ve been pretending it isn’t for too long. There’s only so much sincerity people will find in calling out supporting jkr when the comments are coming from a marauders account. I have tried to use my voice to address people who have financially supported jkr, commenting on videos to explain what their money will be going to, but I am often met with nothing. With deleted comments or rebuttals or excuses. I have had people say that jkr is so rich she won’t notice. THAT IS NOT THE POINT. She sees this support for her creations as support for her transphobic message, if everyone thinks that just one scarf won’t matter, just one visit to the studios won’t make a difference, that jkr won’t notice if you buy the boxset of books from amazon just once, she might not notice but we do. If £50 doesn’t make a difference to you when you give it to her then donate it to a charity that needs it. Because she is donating thousands to charities who want to eradicate trans people from existence. As a NB person, my gender is already not legal recognised in the UK, for the foreseeable future my gender marker is stuck as it is, but at least I still have protection from hate crimes and discrimination, but I am terrified this will get taken away.

I’m becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the interactions both within this community, people are far too comfortable sending abuse based on small disagreements or personal matters and then don’t understand the effects. I’ve only been in this fandom for a year and a half, and far too often what has started as innocent conversation about headcanons or even my own Autism and how it affects me has become a personal attack on myself and my beliefs or how I talk and present myself. I shouldn’t have to just put up with this.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that this fandom takes more than it gives these days and I’m so exhausted of being told that’s just how it is and to deal with it or leave. I’ll still be lingering and my asks and DMs will stay open but I won’t be the same Nox you might be used to.

[thelightfluxtastic]

I saw your post on weight stigma and trans issues and I was so excited and then I read a lot of the reblogs...

What are your thoughts on 'skinny privilege' or 'thin privilege'? As someone who has been labelled underweight for my entire life despite being a healthy weight for my race and who has many friends who have been labelled fat, I have searched far and wide for where I have privilege and I worry I'm not looking in the right places or that I'm looking in vain...

(Not saying your post was about that at all. Just, a lot of the reblogs were so I want to make sure I understand the post)

If you want to learn more about thin privilege, a simple google search might have found you more articles, summaries and resources than a random tumblr blog. My original post didn't focus on thin privilege, but it is a real phenomenon.

Assuming this question is in good faith: like many privileges, thin privilege isn't necessarily about how nice people are to you, or things you might notice on an individual level. Privilege is often invisible, rather than overt (e.g. white people aren't likely to notice all the times they *aren't* pulled over, men might not see all the sexist comments they *aren't* getting).

Thin privilege can look like (these examples are not exhaustive):

-Seeing your body type in media, and not just as a joke -Being able to find clothes in your size in most stores -Being able to fit most standard seats (e.g. in waiting rooms or on airplanes) -Having medical equipment suited to your size and weight -Not being stereotyped as dirty or lazy -Having medical concerns being taken seriously by doctors, rather than blamed on weight -Generally better medical care from doctors (here's a NIH article on the subject, just as a start, and one from the APA.) -For trans people, not having to face BMI based limitations on gender-affirming care -Being more likely to be hired, or treated better at work (one source of many)

This list is not exhaustive. I am sure you would be able to find more resources on weight stigma, fatphobia, and thin privilege. I hope this helps as a start.

[stupid-and-cute-are-enough]

it WAS 1:30 am and now i've got finals in mere hours so obviously this is how i should be spending my time. behold: screaming and crying publicly over @get-rammed's montgomery gator doodles

starting off STRONG with this beauty:

THE FULL-BODY HUG???? THE SKIN ON SKIN CONTACT??? one thing you MUST know about me is that i am WEAK for when the bigger partner wraps themselves around their s/o WEAK I SAY

(also monty's nose????? it's absolutely darling and so perfect for his lil face)

KEEPING ON THEME WITH WERE-MONTY

specifically the face................ he looks so dejected...................so tired................ so sad...................baby has had a ROUGH night and i desperately want them to be better 😭😭😭 (the HAND HOLD???? THE TEAR STAINS??? AUGHH)

we already KNOW how i feel about this one after all i'm that motherfucker who was so consumed by this doodle that i asked ram if i could clean it up and otherwise go insane over it we already KNOW that this doodle has me on my fucking KNEES

again THE FULL BODY HOLD??????? THE SAD EYES???? HE HOLDS ONTO THEM LIKE THEYRE SOMETHING PRECIOUS 😭 monty is trapped in a life he pretty much hates and they've gotta be one of his only sources of comfort 😭😭😭😭 i imagine the anon has to pull wayyy more hours once monty becomes a glamrock so they're constantly exhausted but desperately wants to be there for their struggling friend and vice versa for monty (and how pissed monty must get w/the virus bc why the fuck should he feel bad for them when it's HIS life that got screwed over?)

everything i just said applies to this one too except with more melancholy bc it feels like when you have to wait for your loved one to fall asleep so you can slip away quietly (but, of course, monty is holding on, so he'll be disappointed sooner rather than later)

:(

MOVING FUCKING ON TO THIS NEXT ONE OHHHH MY GOD YOU GUYS PREPARE YOURSELF

THE SNOOT RUBS???? THE HAND ON ANON'S CHEST???? THE BLUSH????? THE WAY HE RUFFLES HOW OWN HAIR 😭😭 GIVE IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! GIVE IT BACK RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM GOING TO BEAT UP MR. FAZBEAR ENTERTAINMENT HIMSELF GIVE MONTY HIS HAIR BACK!!!!!!

but seriously this one is just SO cute 😭 gator golf monty were such simpler times and it DESTROYS me knowing where they go from here :( ik both of them heal together in the end but they hurt so much between those two points AUGHH THEY DONT DESERVE IT 😭😭

GOING BACK TO WERE-MONTY

THE SHIRT??? THE SKIN-ON-SKIN CONTACT???? literally what else is there to say i rest my case moving on

THE CASUAL INTIMACY????? THE SKIN ON SKIN????? THE ANONS SILLY LIL SMILE AND ALL THE LOVE BITES?? look im down bad for monty as much as everyone else here but good LORD there's something so tender about non-sexual touch (esp with minimal clothing) 😭😭 its so special to me............. they're so happy to have each other i am ILL

iconic

SCREAMING AND CRYING THEY'RE SO SILLY TOGETHER!!!! LET THEM BE SILLY AGAIN THEY DESERVE IT!!!!

look at them they're up to MISCHIEF they're up to NO GOOD <3 and freddy is RAPIDLY APPROACHING (side note SWEETS??? 😭😭 i love all of monty's nicknames but something about "sweets" makes me AUGH................. it's so cute...............)

BONUS:

MORGAN <333333 WHAT A MASSIVE W TO TRANS-MASCS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wouldn't wanna be represented by ANYONE else

feddy <3

last but not least the comment i left (with my user and pfp blocked out bc you don't get to know me like that) on part one of project starlight that strikes fear into me to this very day. ignore my spelling mistakes i was going through it

i would've also grabbed a screenshot of the monty plush bc i feel special every time i look at one bc ram thought my comic was cool and it instantly became a core memory but this post has taken LONG ENOUGH!!! SLAP A SHIPPING LABEL ON THIS BITCH AND SEND IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wundergeek]

An Exhausted Trans Person's Guide to Surviving... However the Fuck Long We're Doing Fascism, I Guess 

When Trump 1.0 happened, I basically didn't get out of bed for two months, and even once I felt able to move on with my life, I felt this duty to stay informed about everything he was doing, so that I could remain cognizant of all the ways in which Trump's policies were not normal.

Now that we're firmly into Trump 2.0, fascism is the new normal. Is it good? No. Is it right? No. Is it normal? Yes. For now.

And FUCK. It's so easy to give up hope entirely, even without technology that makes an entire world's worth of misery freely available at our fingertips. And it is very much in the interests of the fascists for us to exhaust ourselves by drinking from the firehose of human cruelty and awfulness. But I refuse to do that, because:

I am not obligated to make myself miserable. It doesn't benefit anyone I care about, and it certainly doesn't benefit me.

I'm still going to hear about what Trump is doing because I have friends and loved ones who are directly affected, because people talk to me about it, and because it's impossible to exist in our media-saturated culture without hearing about his latest baffling and comically evil buffoonery. But I'm not going to seek out the bad news, and I'm being intentional about cultivating a mindset that will enable me - a mentally ill, disabled, queer trans person - to survive.

So let's talk about what the things you can do, starting with the biggest downer first.

Accept that you can't save everyone. 

You will not be able to help everyone who needs help. Accepting that now will save you a lot of grief. Would it be wonderful to be able to help everyone? Yes! However, we are finite beings existing under capitalism. Accepting that you can't save everyone will keep you from burning out, which is important, because this is a marathon, not a sprint.

Be intentional about your social media use 

Most of the social media companies are owned by fascists. Is it still possible to use communities within those spaces positively? Sure. I'm not leaving Facebook because it's an important source of connection for me, as someone who is originally from the States but is no longer willing to travel there. But I'm being intentional. I've made decisions about what information I am and am not willing to put on Facebook.

Are there any platforms that you're using currently that you don't feel good about using? (Looking at you, Twitter!) Now's a great time to leave spaces that are no longer compatible with your ethics.

For platforms you want to remain active on, curate your algorithm! So many people don't realize this is something you can and should do. If you stay on Facebook, take the time to teach your algorithm what you will and will not interact with. This means NOT CLICKING ON RAGEBAIT LINKS. (It's hard. I get it! It's a skill that takes practice. So practice that skill!)

More importantly, take the time to curate your feed with things that make you feel good. Because:

Drinking from the misery firehose  is bad

You can't subsist on a diet of misery and survive.

So find ways to populate your feed with things that make you happy. Is that a page devoted to videos of things fitting perfectly inside other things? Great. Is that cute animals? Cool. Is it trains? You do you. Whatever it is, populate your feeds with joy, because you will not survive without it.

Be mindful of toxic engagement, but also forgive yourself when you slip 

Developing good social media habits is hard. These apps have so much power over our brains, and it takes sustained effort over time (sometimes years) to disengage our brains from them. If developing social media mindfulness is something you're just starting now, you're not going to succeed overnight. That's okay! Incremental progress is still progress.

Count shit you're already doing as a win 

It's easy to look all of The Fucking Fascism out here and feel that you couldn't possibly do anything meaningful about it. But don't pay attention to that voice! The fascists want you to feel hopeless. So when you feel that hopelessness creeping in, remind yourself of two things:

Racism, anti-Semitism, transphobia, etc - the playbooks are all literally interchangeable. So anything that you're doing to address one area addresses ALL of them.

A lot of the really important work is small, tedious, and boring.

It's especially easy to dismiss the importance of the shit we're already doing when it's something we're bogged down with every day. So take the time to do an inventory of your life, and actually recognize where you're already doing things to support queer and marginalized people and to create safe spaces for them.

Some examples from my own life:

Parenting a queer kid: Raising an almost-teen is the very definition of tedious and boring. However, I can tell you that the interactions my queer kid has with their friends are so different from the toxic homophobia and transphobia that my Elder Millennial ass grew up with. And that's a result of so many people doing so much small, tedious, and boring shit to teach kids how not to be shitty about queerness.

Doing martial arts while trans: I've been training kung fu seriously for the past six years, and came out as trans while training at the school. I was the first out trans enby at the school, so there was definitely a learning curve for lots of folks. But now I've reached the rank where I am assisting with classes, I can be a role model for young people who are queer and/or gender diverse - which is important, given how male-dominated and macho a lot of martial arts spaces are.

If you are someone with a lot of privilege and you feel you could be doing more? Then, great. By all means, look for opportunities to do so. But for my queer, racialized, and neurospicy readers - an important part of picking your battles is recognizing where you're already racking up those Ws.

MAKE. ART. 

Make it gay. Make it weird. Make it bad. Make it horny. Make it for yourself. Make it for your friends. Make it for the internet. Whatever it is, MAKE. FUCKING. ART.

And don't waste a single fucking brain cell worrying about what other people think. Make the art that YOU want to make. The weirder the better.

When hope is too hard, spite will get the job done

It's a complete mindfuck trying to just get through my day knowing that the place that I grew up is making people like me illegal. I'm doing my best to hold on to the good things, to create positivity for myself, and take opportunities for small joys. But when all of that feels too hard, spite is a fucking great motivator.

I'm going to eat a damn vegetable to piss off the fascists.

I'm going to take a damn walk to piss off the fascists.

I'm going to socialize with a friend to piss off the fascists.

If fascists want me to not exist, anything that actively improves my existence is a win.

Was any of this helpful? Consider leaving me a tip on Ko-Fi so I can continue writing more shit like this.

[pedros-husband]

Rows and rings

agent whiskey x male reader (SFW)

a/n: just wanted to say that i appreciate all of the reblogs and love i've received, also i am new to tumblr so I haven't quite figured out all the different things and ways to interact, so please be patient with me, thank you <3.

Summary: you had supposed to been on a date, this was the third time he didn’t show, and your pissed, rightly so, but for reasons a little deeper than face-value. Or at least the ring in your pocket says so.

prompt: 'do you ever mean the things you say?'

This fic is ftm trans inclusive (no Amab language used)

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it had started out as a small argument. you had been mad because jack forgot another date you'd planned. third time this week, actually.

His excuse was that he'd been busy with a mission, not having enough time to be worrying over 'stupid things', in his own words. but you weren't mad he'd forgotten, you were long past the point of being mad over things like that, no. you were mad because he had promised you not to forget or cancel. and you were a man of your word, whiskey knew that. he also knew how much you valued honesty and not doubling back on plans once they've been made.

when you first started dating you made it clear to whiskey that if he promised something he had to stick to his word, mostly because you had trust issues from past relationships but you'd never indulged in telling jack the details-it was never necessary, he always stuck to his word.

And to a degree you understood that jack's job was demanding and took priority over lots of things, and sometimes things happened out of the blue, but this wasn't like that. You had made sure to inform ginger and Tequila that Whiskey would be off duty for this night, just a few hours, it was no big deal. at least it was supposed to be no big deal.

Even though you were pissed that he technically lied that actually surprisingly wasn't your main source of anger. you'd been planning to propose to jack for a while, knowing he's too busy to even think about doing it after 4 years of patiently waiting you'd taken the matter into your own hands. both of you knew you were made for each other. jack reminded you constantly that you were the only man for him and he’d never even look at another man or woman the way he looks at you, and you believed him. which was why it was so infuriating that his behaviour was causing this tension in your relationship over the past week.

with the gradual build up of anger after each forgotten date your anger finally boiled over tonight. he was sat in the living room spread out on the couch, 6 hours late. you burst into the room and slammed the door shut, teeth gritted and eyes narrowed.

'jack daniels, you give me one good reason not to leave your ass right this damn second.'

he looked up from his position on the couch, groaning and rolling his eyes. 'look sugar, I'm sorry i really am but can we not argue right now, it's pretty damn late and this cowboy needs his beauty sleep' his accent is thicker from exhaustion as he stands up and moves to push past you, but you hold your ground and put a hand on his shoulder.

'no way jack, you promised me. you said that this time you were going to make time for me, it was planned out!' there were tears pricking in your eyes- this week had been so stressful with the build up of anxiety over the proposal and the repeated dissapointment of him forgetting each time.

'darlin', i said, not.tonight. and besides, it's a one time thing, i haven't lied to ya before, no biggie.'

'jack, it's not a one time thing, this is the third time this week! i understand work is important but i'm your boyfriend and i deserve your attention too sometimes! i mean: do you ever mean the things you say? c'mon, we're not kids jack.'

'your being a jerk. i am a man of my words, don't you ever, even insinuate that i'm not. i am loyal to my country and to my work, i can't help that you aren't always first.' jack practically spits in your face, gruffly shoving you backwards so he can move past you, but instead of heading to the bedroom he heads to the door. in a dazed panic you yell, tears starting to roll down your cheeks, ' i was going to propose!'

silence.

'you... you what?' he turns to face you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and disbelief, hand paused on the doorknob.

you take a deep breath, wipe your tears away and continue 'i was going to propose to you. originally on Monday, then Wednesday, then Friday, then...tonight... look jack... i know your busy and i know i may be being a little overbearing right now, iIve just been so stressed this past week and you know i haven't been getting as much sleep an-' as you talk he strides over to you, and cuts you off by pulling you into a deep kiss, hands gripping your waist tightly.

the kiss isn't slow and passionate, it rarely ever is with jack. but it isn't filled with lust like usual, it's more, tender and, apologetic. he glides his hand up your back and lets it rest on the nape of your neck. you kiss back eagerly, hands finding their way into his shortt brown hair, before one falls back down to the pocket of your jeans and you break away.

'i-i'm sorry sugar... i ain't good with apologies an all that, but i really am. i shoulda' gone on the date the first time, shoulda given you more attention. i want you and only you, but i haven't been acting like i do, so im sorry.' jack whisper averting his gaze, as he drops his hands and puts them in his pockets sheepishly.

you sigh and pull out a small box, getting down on one kneee. 'i know this isn't as romantic as the fancy date i planned, and its abit more tear-filled and chaotic, but i love you no matter how stupid you are, no matter how many dates you miss. Jack Daniels i knew from the moment i met you that you were the man for me, and i would be so happy if you would marry me. so, will you?' you look up at him with hopeful eyes, opening the little black box to reveal a small golden band.

jack smiles and pulls you up nodding his head and kissing you on the lips over and over, in between each one whispering, 'yes, yes a hundred times yes'

after he finally calms down and you put the ring on his finger, you lead him to your room and slowly change into your pj's, a comfortable silence hangs in the air, but your both smiling like idiots the whole time.

you get into bed and he immediately pulls you into his chest, holding you tight and burying his face into your hair, fiddling with the new ring on his finger.

'i love you, sugar... and i cant wait to be your husband.' he whispers into your hair, closing his eyes as he inhales the scent of your sweet smelling shampoo.

'i love you too jack, and i can't wait to be your husband too.' you mumble, eyes heavy as you slowly drift off to sleep in the comforting embrace of your fiance.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Odd question, I hope it's okay for me to ask this, sorry if it's not. How did you pay for/afford your top surgery? Like did you get yours covered by insurance or? (I am hoping to start the process of getting mine but I need to figure out the money parts...)

So it's gonna be a bit weird, but the short of it is I got inheritance from my grandparents that I used to pay for the surgery.

Now the weird bit of it (you don't have to read, it's just odd personal stuff and TW for death mentions) is how this happened. I'll put that under the cut.

But as for coverage, the key things to note are you will need 2 letters of approval, one being from your primary care doctor or endocrinologist, and the other your therapist. Insurance will not cover you without these, and additionally your surgeon will not do surgery without them. However!! If you don't have a therapist currently, don't fret because you legit only need to visit them for 1 session to write the letter, and that's it. Surgeons may give you crap for it, but honestly it's within the guidelines that you just need a letter from one. Doesn't say anywhere that you need to have been seeing this therapist for a long time or anything! (Note: my therapist who works with specifically trans patients outright taught me and many others this loophole.)

The next thing is to find a surgeon in your network who has good results. The key is to search online for the surgeon's website or page to show what their results are, but be sure to verify with other review sources (like Reddit or any other user-review sources) to ensure these images aren't stolen from elsewhere or that the surgeon is legit. There are sadly a few I've seen who stole images or lied about their credentials and botched the surgery. The sad thing is that with cosmetic procedures, there isn't a lot of regulation in place as compared to other types of surgery.

To find any surgeons in your network, check your insurance card and find the phone number. Call that number and ask for a list of gender conformation surgeons or transgender clinics in your area, and request this list to be sent to your email. Your insurance network will do just that, and all you have to do is contact any of the ones listed and see who is best for your needs, then make an appointment for your consultation!!

Note that these places back up by several months to about a year. Don't be discouraged, and ask if you can get in for a consultation on a cancelation. What that does is if a patient with any appointment cancels, the clinic will call you and ask if you want that date instead!

The key to money is knowing how much your insurance covers. For some insurance, they will list a % amount, like they'll cover 80% or 60% of surgery costs. Some will say there's a limit and you'll only have to pay up to a certain dollar amount, or they will only cover up to a certain dollar amount and, after that, you pay the remainder.

Insurance will try to fight you on covering the surgery. No matter what you do, what insurance you have, because top surgery counts as a cosmetic surgery, they will try denying it. You have to have a spine of steel and stand your ground to fight them and demand your coverage. It will probably be many hours across many weeks, and you'll be exhausted, but it's the sad experience of a lot of trans people unless you happen to live in NY where they legally must cover any and all transitional surgeries without denial.

During your consultation, ask the clinician for an itemized list of the costs needed for your surgery. There will be anesthesia, anesthesiologist (the one who distributes the anesthesia), surgery itself, medications, dressings, etc. You'll likely have to submit this to insurance as well to get covered.

And another thing to note is the payment itself can be done in increments if needed. Most states require a minimum payment toward your medical debts, meaning so long as you pay that minimum per month, then the debt collectors cannot come after you. In my state it's something like $30 per month.

Uhhh that's what I can think of! If you need any more specifics let me know!

I commend you on going for this journey, and I sincerely hope you get said surgery VERY soon!!! :D

Now for the weird personal story on how I paid for mine.

--------------------

My grandmother passed when I was around 12 years old. I was repressed, masculine, but unsure of my gender. When I was 15 I admitted my gender to myself, hiding it from my parents, and silently BEGGED to anything or anyone which could hear me from beyond that I could get top surgery someday.

My grandfather moved in with my family after the passing of my grandmother, and when his time was drawing near I knew I was going to come into inheritance money.

And as soon as I knew, I absolutely BEGGED my grandmother, if she could hear me, to let me use this money for top surgery.

For years I begged repeatedly to her, never aloud, only in my head and with all my heart. I told no one aloud. Even after I came out to my parents, I never told them this desire, and I wondered for so long how I'd ever tell it to them.

Then the very night my grandfather passed, my mother came to me and said, word for word, "We're going to use your inheritance to pay for your top surgery."

Yeah. Several years consistently begging my grandma who had passed, and never speaking once aloud. Yet she clearly heard because it's literally what my mother, her daughter, told me we'd do. My exact desire. Right there.

I have my grandparents to thank for this, and godsdamn I thank them every day. :)

[jurassicteeth]

I wanted to draw a really cool thing, but this was all I could manage with how exhausted I am. Instead, I shall write something.

Dear Homestuck, thank you.

Thanks for being there for me when I was alone, thanks for making me laugh and cry, thanks for being something that my friends and I cherished, and thanks for helping me be more comfortable with who I am.

I can proudly say that John Egbert is the reason I realized I was trans, he was the breaking point that caused me to really think about the fact that I am a dude.

Another thing is, i remember this memory fondly- but my friend who passed away, Corvid, and I one year- 2 days before xmas eve- stayed up late watching all the homestuck broadway music shit, and the homestuck xmas carols, and drew eachother as trolls and as the beta kids. That memory was so… awesome. And I remember us singing badly along to the songs, it was just a great night. We bonded heavily over homestuck, I even got him into it if I remember clearly. We loved that shit, and made so much art and would cosplay at the park yelling and screaming about imps- pretending we were John and Tavros. We would draw comics of our characters interacting, we would put eachother’s art up on our walls.

Homestuck, at least what I grew up with/the original web comic, is so important to me. Its a source of identity, inspiration, and reminds me of being a kid again. Which, every day I wish I could go back to be with Corvid. Go back to being kids. Go back to all the fantasy before we got traumatized. Before we parted ways for the final time- not knowing we’d never see each other again.

ALSO FOR MY 13TH BDAY PARTY IT WAS HOMESTUCK THEMED, ALL MY FRIENDS AT THE TIME DRESSED AS EVERY CHARACTER. I WAS JOHN. MY DAD WAS DRESSED AS DAD. HE MUSHED CAKE IN MY FACE. THAT IS A CORE MEMORY AND ITS SO SWEET AND!! I MISS BEING A KID SOMETIMES.

Happy 4/13.

I hope its been a good one for every homestuck fan out there!

[vonkarma2]

why I don't like pokemon rocketshipping

james pokemon is gay whereas jessie pokemon is bisexual to this day i think shipping them sucks. it's like this ↓

this post was meant to be the above minus the title and nothing else but then I went insane. so now i will articulate my feelings, which i have had in mind since i got really into team rocket for a few months in 2020 because of lockdown induced susceptibility.

i can also see straight or lesbian for jessie and james can be bisexual so long as you acknowledge they are both theater people. which ordinarily i dislike as a hc because i dislike theater people usually but in this case it is objective fact. this brief clip here will help demonstrate my vision

for example in sun and moon anime they crashed a group of children's school play because jessie was jealous of not being in the spot light. which brings me to my next point that due to being a cartoon for young children this material is obviously very silly, to the point where mapping any of it onto anything based in reality or taking it remotely seriously is very ridiculous. which is why i am moving into just make an oc territory at this point. but I think the huge part of the charm is that these characters are preexisting, and came into the world naturally, because some childrens cartoon execs thought it would be funny for one of the recurring villains to be kind of gay. the crossdressing, the moltres outfit.. we lost so much when they turned the homophobia down over time 😔. that's a joke.

(and don't get me wrong, it is kind of homophobic, given these are the villains and the characters you're supposed to laugh at and think are ridiculous, including because of the gay shit. i don't want to not take it seriously at all like even vague homophobia (and transphobia of course) in a kids' cartoon is insane. but they aren't evil per se and are more silly and sympathetic than anything, and iirc correctly they don't draw attention to the cross dressing? it just kinda happens rather than like ash and misty are like ewww a guy in a dress or whatever. but I could be wrong about this. there's also a discussion to be had about japanese vs american attitudes to this kind of thing especially in the 90s but we are getting off track enough as it is. did you know meowth was originally voiced by a trans woman isn't that cool :))

anyone can make a flamboyant guy and girl pair of ocs, and many have, but there isn't the same sense of unexpectedness or sincerity that makes the pleasantly surprisingly plausible gay jokes as fun to make. there is external, light hearted validation for this kind of hc in pop culture because of pokeani, and these specific characters' popularity.

similarly, i also think the ridiculousness of the source material makes adding even a little more grounding in reality very charming. highlighted in yellow is some evidence for this point. (the orange is highlighted because it's relevant to my next point and the blue is highlighted because it's hilarious).

in my opinion, the yellow text here is pretty funny, notably with regards to how it considers age as a legitimate factor. as a cartoon character in a long running show, james emphatically cannot age, and yet this writing proposes that he does, and attributes changing writing decisions to this process. the author paints a somewhat stereotypical image of someone exhausted by a dead end job. that person being a saturday morning cartoon villain. it's cute. i think this kind of portrayal whether in fan art, fan fics, or just posts like this, that treats an exaggerated fictional world with not serious emotional gravitas but mere realism, is very charming. especially when you consider he's also being portrayed as a gay man specifically, and yet still meant to be sympathized with by a presumably heterosexual audience. i know it's stereotypical, but i think the inclusion of those details makes the ties to reality more endearing through being more culturally specific and sympathetic to an outgroup.

like the writers of pokeani, the author of this 2006-looking neocities page was likely not gay themself, which makes it interesting they were such a fervent james is gay truther, dedicated enough to the point where they probably see it as a positive more interesting than ignoring the subtext. definitely not saying they went about it in the best way (this excerpt is pretty harmless , but some other parts of their page haven't aged as well, and it's clear they aren't actively trying to be progressive), but it's an interesting perspective thinking about internet culture at that time. predating broader movements of both progressivism and homophobia, and the formation of internet-based subcultures we know today. that was mostly a tangent but i included the link to my source yayyy <3

so now we have seen that adding reality, including specific cultural details that one can relate to or appreciate in some way, is fun, and i think it can be pretty charming as well. and in this case i think we have the potential to compare the characters to dynamics underrepresented in popular media. ok stay with me on this part. remember how the orange said jessie is a huge bitch.

here i am disrespecting this completely serious and kind of beautiful substack essay by comparing it to pokemon characters. but we can clearly see this exact kind of relationship depicted between the jessie and james in their lifelong, codependent friendship. (we can also compare these figures' status as outsiders to jessie and james being career criminals in universe and perenially misfortunate saturday morning cartoon villains on a meta level).

i am not saying this because i take team rocket seriously as characters in the fandom angst sense, or the sense that the show has good writing. i mean it in the sense that it's fun when there is something in pop culture that you have the ability to claim as part of your/a subculture, even if that wasn't the intention. an unintentional reflection of reality in something that was meant to be purely mainstream, and is clearly a joke, but you can joke about it as someone who is genuinely familiar with that kind of relationship in reality, or at least more respectful of it than before. unlike the essay, but much like the chris fleming clip above.

i really want to draw attention to the gender roles here as well. as stated in the essay, this is what the gay guy/hag (sorry. i feel kinda bad saying it myself on here lol) relationship can be predicated on.

many people have pointed out that in couples' disguises, james dresses as a girl and jessie dresses as a man, with james tending to cross dress significantly more often. this, as well as jessie's bullying personality vs james' relatively much more laid back nature. but I think it's interesting how it's taken for granted and not drawn attention to; or rather, not an incidental situation, but rather part of the fundamental nature of their characters. low key kind of feminist. I think it's also important to note that jessie and james are close friends, so he is clearly drawn to her in some way, but james hates her kind of personality in the context of romantic relationships, evidenced both here in this joking scenario, and in the episode where he has to escape an arranged marriage to a girl who looks and acts exactly like jessie, except she is in love with him. we can see the jessebelle episode as emblematic of the rejection of the heterosexual life paths and the pursuit of an existence outside the mainstream [i get shot in the head by a sniper]

i included this picture of mac and dennis move to the suburbs because i think the sitcom structures make them similar. they can't leave because of the concept of the show. metanarratively doomed to be together. an eternal relationship between people who make each other miserable but can never bear to leave, and can also both be compared to and is fundamentally incompatible with a stable, married, heterosexual relationship. one who is aggressive and one who is usually powerless. and is this all portrayed in the show? absolutely not LOL. but we are talking about fan culture here overall, which for better and worse (much worse) is oftentimes about seeing the potential in a source material and iterating on it in some way. it's there for those with eyes to see. i think the codependent friends + gay/hag relationship both has more canon evidence, is truer to the heart and soul of the source material (as seen through its endless cyclical structure), and is more unique and interesting.

This quote is here because jessie is definitely NOT "fully-actualized" as this describes. as stated earlier she is frequently insecure and childish, especially with regards to femininity. (perhaps we can trace this back to her backstory of an unstable childhood with her mom dying and her almost straight up starving to death as a result.) she wants to find love and be percieved as beautiful, but due to her mean and evil personality she can't, and is stuck being an outsider with this cat and this gay man. there is an obvious insecurity at the heart of these characters, and within the show's narrative they are cursed to remain as they are. if we as fans are trying to take this a step further and create some kind of tension or arc, we can say it's because of their mutual failure to self actualize (especially factoring in the gender/lgbt stuff) that they are drawn together.

i don't think people shipping these two is like, remotely a serious societal issue. it's literally fine. i don't care that much these are differing interpretations of a mediocre anime meant to sell toys cards and video games. but i dislike it personally because i feel like in both practice and inherently, it means ignoring a lot of what makes the relationship itself unique, fun to interpret, and grounded in some nonserious form of reality. people are always like wow.. 2 gnc bisexuals that commit crimes together and also kiss.. but i think that's at best a way of resolving or explaining an underlying tension that's better left existent and at worst based on purely surface level observations. big city greens didn't even let them have meowth they are nothing without meowth

overall thesis if you're a fan reinrerpreting kids show characters for fun do it in style

disclaimers:

i'm not a cis gay man or transfem and so i dont have that perspective

joke portrayals of super flamboyant feminine and cross dressing gay men can contribute a lot to transmisogyny as well as homophobia, and the two are often conflated, especially in older media

i can see why someone would dislike this kind of character and view the portrayal as more mean spirited than i did, like even though the character of james himself is meant to be likeable you can see this aspect itself as demeaning

you know that thing where it's like the tme nb or trans masc is like omg theyre so gender but it's just transmisogyny. I obviously don't want to repeat that myself. there is some gray area of course and generally I think this specific example has room for interpretation, but I'm not the expert on this topic over all

I also haven't seen the whole show. there's like 600 episodes plus movies and it's not even good

there are like 40 separate essays you could write about that in general (gay coded villains in childrens' media and overlap of homophobia/transmisogyny therein in both the media itself and audiences' reactions). and i'm not doing that. but just know i'm aware it's a nuanced topic at least

[lextermeter]

The Irony of Acceptance

- A journal entry from July 9, 2022

It has been 9 days since Pride Month has passed. As the pride logos from corporate companies start to fade, I am proud to say that my pride in who I am has not began to fade. That is because pride is 365 days a year, 7 days a week, and 24 hours a day.

Pride was made to celebrate our past, and those that came before us. It was created to honor those who have fought for gay rights. It takes courage to come to terms with one’s self identity. It is important that we rise up and celebrate. Not necessarily just for ourselves, but for the people the came before us. For the 36.3 million people who have died from the AIDS epidemic. For the people who fought during the Stonewall riots of 1969, especially Marsha P. Johnson.

As a black trans woman, Marsha was a pioneer for gay liberation, and she deserved a better life. Marsha died at the age of 46, and the police ruled her death as a suicide. However, no one knows the real cause of her death, but the police did not care to find out. She was found dead in a river, however, her legacy lives on.

Throughout Pride Month, I pondered about the idea of acceptance. As a young child, I feared the idea of everybody knowing my sexual orientation. What would others think of me, and would I be able to live my life comfortably or would I always live in the dark. Living in the shadows was not an option for me. For that reason, I came out on June 7, 2021.

To anybody who may be reading this, whether you are in the closet or not, I advise you to stop looking for acceptance from external sources. Spend your time doing things that will help you find yourself rather then exhausting your efforts to look for an impossible feeling of acceptance. In no circumstance, will anybody ever find themselves in a situation where they adored and accepted by all. Your life is not for someone to accept, rather focus on understanding yourself and your own environment.

The irony of acceptance and even tolerance is that it is degrading. By looking for acceptance, you put others on pedestals as if they have an authority over your life and how you should live it. As human beings, we were all created equal, thus, placing yourself in a search for acceptance is contradictory to our human nature.

Lastly, I leave you with some final thoughts. Let us live our lives with pride. Be proud of who you are, and all of your triumphs and tribulations. Successes and failures make us who we are. Stop looking for acceptance.

[remyfire]

What do you think of the restrictions by Mastercard and visa against nsfw creators on patreon and gumroad? You once said you were a published author, in your bio at one point, do you feel like your work is at all threatened?

I'm not happy with it. Understatement of the century, I know.

As a published queer erotic romance author, I am in the line of fire, but I am also in many ways quite far down the food chain. I believe all creators of erotic art in some form or fashion understand that the writing on the wall starts with how sex workers are treated, and especially trans femme and/or sex workers of color. Again, understatement of the century to say that they have never been given the protections and safety that they deserve as human beings, much less as sex workers, but in the past decade especially, they have been particularly under siege.

This means that for quite a few years, my community of queer romance authors have been discussing this very subject, raising awareness about every new restriction that tries to sneak by, and holding fundraisers to fund organizations which are continuing to take these infinite battles through legal channels, provide relief for sex workers and other erotic creators, and other such things. We'd be doing this even without concern about our own livelihoods—though the pulling of Nora Roberts books, of all the fucking romance authors, from multiple library shelves a couple of years ago due to puritanical standards really made the trumpets blast—but suffice to say that this has been on my mind and heart for quite some time, and seeing the new tendrils of restrictions creep through is exhausting but not surprising.

All of which is to say that of course I am disgusted by the continuously rising restrictions against erotic artists on these various platforms. This directly affects my wife's livelihood and it's taking a toll on her, which is having ripple effects through my entire household. But I think marginalized creators who are already suffering the effects of these regulations are the ones who need to be platformed right now rather than a white erotic romance author who currently has another source of income available, if that makes sense. I believe that they have far more meaningful words to say right now than I do.