#source sucked sometimes. still miss it though

[thedevilslittleprophet]

I care if I'm guilty...

Mini comic based on a quote I found on Pinterest, reflecting some stuff that happened in my source.

[nerujikam]

Old Sweater

ushijima wakatoshi x fem!reader

tags 18+, fluff and smut, timeskip!ushijima, pwp, sleepy sex, clothed sex, cunnilingus, creampie, aftercare, pet nickname, i was ovulating

words 2,174

a/n and so, behold... my first smut... *thunder cracks* this was a pretty old draft dating back to may '22 lmao. figured i'm a lot more comfortable in my writing now, why not post it? this was crossposted on ao3 ! anws, happy reading or something!

art is @hk_smith_man’s on twt

Ushijima comes home late again. This time he finds it a little odd when the only source of light that came from the living room was the table lamp beside the couch, with a book you’re reading under it. You never forget to turn off every light when you go to sleep. Though, it does feel kind of lonely since you were practically a night owl on your working days. Now that you finally got your days off, you started to sleep earlier than usual. He misses the sight of you in the late of night, you can say.

He turns the lights off after putting his shoes on the rack. A faint beat can be heard from your shared bedroom, questioning him whether you’re awake or not.

Your body slump under the blanket. Though the heater’s on, the winter wind seems to have its own way seeping through the walls, shuddering you under the covers. Just like how you left it before, the small reading light next to you was still on.

He walks up to you, eyes closed as your breath steady. Seems you got defeated by your own drowsiness while trying to continue reading another book in your hands. He takes it away from your hand, placing the bookmark in the current page before putting it down next to the table lamp. He decides to turn it off later after his shower.

Ushijima closes the bathroom door from the inside, not wanting to wake you up with the loud noise from the hairdryer. He brushes his teeth, puts on his night cream, and turns off the bathroom light before joining you under the cover. He realized that the sweater from his high school volleyball team framed your body. He’s an even bigger and stronger guy now compared to then, yet his sweater still fits loosely on your frame. He wonders if it would make any difference if he met you in high school.

The thought of that tightened his arms around your waist, causing you squirming under him. He realized he woke you up when he heard a faint, “Toshi,” and a cold palm on his cheek. He grabs your cold hand to warm them, placing longing kisses on its knuckles, “sorry, did I wake you up?” You shake your head, turning back to your former position.

“I don’t mind,” you reassure. Ushijima pressed his forehead on your nape and kissed in between it and your spine, carrying out a soft “I missed you,” from your lips.

Ushijima never was a person who relies on verbal affection, so he alternates them more with acts of service, especially in giving. Warm baths after working overtime, a new shelf for your little trinkets, your favorite scented candles, sometimes even phoning his own dad, asking how to season the porridge properly when you had a cold. In rare cases, he'd mutter an “I missed you, too” back, instead of pressing his body closer into you like right now. He squeezes tight, not letting the cold get in between the two of you. He slides his hand down to your thigh to knead them gently before putting it in between them.

His eyelids flutter back awake as he feels a damp spot on your underwear. He gazes down at your eyelashes as you let out a sigh when he puts his hand down there. “You missed me this much?” he teases with a slight naught on his tone. You let out another sigh as he stroked your inner thighs, letting his wrist rub against your wet spot.

The blanket ruffles as his hand makes its ways to your—his—sweater, lifting it up to feel the warmth of your belly. His lips now behind your ear, fluttering kisses and sucking on the skin around it. Your hand found his when he started to slide down, playing with the waistband, eventually slithered inside, stroking between your folds.

So wet, he groans, wondering how you kept this long enough without doing anything about it.

“Want me to do something with this?” he whispered, asking one more time, fingers circling between you. Whining at his motion, you sigh, "please... Toshi,” you let out a breathy voice to call his name.

With your plea, he flips you up, rolls himself on top of you to lower himself, marking down your jaws, trailing up kisses to your lips. You nip gradually on his bottom lip before receiving his tongue. He tilts his head, deepening the kiss. Your hands stroking alongside his neat undercut. You opened your eyes slowly when he pulled back to see his own eyelids hung low, looking either very tired or very much turned on. The edge of his lips were soft from the toothpaste and the lip balm you share with him, smooth and glistening prior to your make out session.

“Keep this on,” he demands as he slides his whole body down. His hands trails up to your breasts, exposing them to the cold air whilst still keeping his sweater intact on you. He positions his shoulders under your thighs. You were surprised that, The Ushijima Wakatoshi, is willing to deal with something that was your own consequences, with his own mouth and tongue. You held it hours ago, wanting his way first rather than relying on your toys. You’re sure that he’ll come home eventually for this before eventually giving in to your heavy eyelids.

He places one, two, three kisses on the inner thigh slowly leading them up to the center of your wet panties. He pushes down your thighs towards him, licking the damp spot as if making out on it. You let out a high pitched whine from your lips. He ever so slowly pulls down your underwear you’ve been so desperate to be out of. His hot breath blows cold air between them with an eventful languid stroke. Your brain clouded, eyes rolled shut at the sight in the dark. You see nothing but flashes of sparks from the noises he made lapping his tongue over you.

Just as you feel his wet muscle fiddling around the sensitive bud, he (with the audacity) decided to suck on it, alternating between licking wet stripes along the core. You finally let out a moan, grabbing the sheets and his hair messy, pushing him further into you, grinding your own crotch towards him. One finger found his way, rubbing your entrance as the tip of his tongue fiddling your clit.

You throw your head back with your face behind your hand as his middle finger finally reaches in, unsteadily sliding in and out up till the spot where you buck your hips to its contact. Feeling your reaction, he slides in another finger, pressing and focusing them more on the gummy spot within, curling them ever so often. His jaw hardened, constantly fiddling his tongue around your clit, putting pressure on it while the tips of his dominant fingers hitting the same spot, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

Your walls start to squeeze as your breath gets shaky. His fingers never stop thrusting in and out with a pace you never felt even when you do it yourself. Your back arches before being held down by his non-dominant hand, pressing down on your pelvis as your leg becomes a moving mess before you feel the snap under your belly. You shake as your thighs close around his head, feet pushing on his shoulders unaware. Your vision slurs.

Lips soaked in your own slick, Ushijima licked you down clean as if collecting it after your intense height, giving them one more wet smooch before hovering his body above you. He sucks down his middle and ring finger, cleaning up your mess on him. You raise your hands and grab his cheeks to give yourself a taste, tongue constantly encountering his in between kisses. You push him up, rolling up on your knees, positioning yourself on his lap, not separating your lips.

You eventually pull away with a kiss on his cheek, your hands on his jaw as you find yourself out of breath. You give yourself a view of him with your thumb on his chin. He licked the bottom of his lip before biting them, eyes hazed staring up to yours. His whole face became more and more of a mess, hair disheveled from your constant pulling, lips swollen and soaked down until his chin. You always love seeing him all wet from his own work on you.

It was impossible for you to not get turned on by him all messy and drunk from your cunt. You tug on his waistband, pulling down his PJs alongside his boxers. It’s obvious how hard he is with the ill bulge he had the whole time. His cock springs up as you pull his boxers down, tip flushed and slick, desperate to be inside you. You stroke along the shaft, spreading his own precum as you readied yourself on him. But he insisted. He rolls you back down on your back, holding the back of your thighs, teasing his tip around on your core.

You didn’t have a chance to look where the both of you met before gasping at the sudden intrusion. You were still sensitive and the slick of your pussy prior to his work makes the both of you moan as he slides in. His hips rolled and bucked on you, thrusting deliciously, tip reaching up to the familiar gummy spot.

“You look so good fucked in my sweater like that, dove,” he moans in your ear in the pleasure of your hips meeting his, pelvis to pelvis. The way he whispered that little pet nickname and moaned right into your ears clutches your core. You put your arms around his shoulders, legs wrapping around him, holding on for life as he pounds harder (you swore the bed could crack any minute).

“I’m…” you gasp in between thrusts before you continue, “I’m on birth— ah!” 

You couldn’t continue as he pushed one deep thrust, already knowing what you meant. He groans feeling your tightened walls sucking him in as he starts to roll his hips in a way it touches the parts you never knew you’d reach. He pushes your knees to your chest, thrusting in deeper. You feel his skin constantly slapping on your clit, building you up to another climax.

With a groan and his head buried into your shoulder, he came in a rut. Pace went sloppy and eventually filled his warmth inside you. His moans cracked a higher pitch before he finally emptied out on his last thrust. Both of you laid there catching your breath.

He pulls himself out of you, leaving a whine from your lips from the sudden emptiness. You sigh, feeling his cum slowly spilling out of you. Ushijima muttered a low, "fuck," as he looks down and squeezed your thighs, eyeing the sight of you leaking from his cum.

Making sure you’re fine, he hovers above you, a hand on your jaw as he kisses the edge of your lips. Raising his head to look at you as you open your eyes. Greeted by the sight of his softened features, you smile with a sigh and caress his cheek.

He’s worried, you thought. Ushijima brushes out the strands of hair from your face and places a soft, longing kiss on your temple before walking up towards the bathroom.

You hear the tap running for a while before he comes out with a warm damp towel. He gently grabs your thigh to wipe down the remaining of his cum that has spilled out of you. You sigh from the warmth of the towel.

“You need to go to the toilet,” he states suddenly. You furrow your eyebrows trying to process his instruction before realizing what he meant. You nod, “right,” you prop yourself up to sit.

“Can you walk?” he asks. You thought a bit before nodding as he grabbed onto you in case you wobble and fall. You chuckle in contrast to his worry because you did walk fine. Just a little sore. You walked to the bathroom to pee and clean yourself while Ushijima in the kitchen for some water.

You come back with him already finished putting back his boxer. You realize you don’t wanna sleep in soiled panties so you grab a fresh pair and throw the used one out into the hamper. You jump back on the bed with him. You take the glass of water he gave you before laying back down. He spoons you like how he did before. You shuffle as you turn your body towards him, brushing away his messy hair out of his face.

“Should I wear this more so I can get fucked like that more often?” you ask, referring to how his high school sweater on you turns him on. He let out a tired laugh, “just don’t wear that in front of anyone but me.”

---

ushy gushy always be on my top #1 daddy big balls alongside erwin smith

[farfromstrange]

Thumb v Printer | Matt Murdock x Reader

Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader (gender neutral)

Summary: Your clumsiness keeps Matt on edge at all times. Like when you cut your thumb on a printer.

Warnings: None. (Maybe slight description of injury for those of you who are squeamish). Tooth-rotting fluff.

Word Count: ~1k

A/n: This did happen to me. It's healed now, but a piece of my thumb was missing for like a week and it wasn't fun. All because I had to print my sources for an essay and the paper got stuck. Smh.

Read Me On AO3!

If a stranger came up to you and told you, “I smell blood,” it would be more than enough to make you run for the hills. Sharing a home with Matt Murdock though, you have heard stranger things. 

You turn from your spot on the sofa, putting your laptop aside for a moment to greet him. “Hello to you too,” you answer casually.

He tilts his head in your direction. His nostrils flare. You know better than to question it. He’s wearing the same suit he left your shared apartment with this morning, his tie only loosened slightly to allow him some air to breathe. The last streaks of sunlight filter through the window, enveloping him in an ethereal glow. He’s so beautiful, but he doesn’t allow you much time to admire him as he stands in the hallway, his hands propped up on his hips as though he is about to lecture you on criminal law before the Civil War.

“You opened the first-aid kit,” he states. “What happened?” 

It’s an astute observation, you have to give him that. “Oh. Yeah.” You chuckle. “I just cut my finger on the printer, that’s all.”

He stutters for a moment, almost like an old engine. “You… I’m sorry, what?”

His worried expression fades into something else entirely. You know that look all too well; he’s confused—so confused, in fact, that he forgets how concerned he was a minute ago.

“I cut my finger on the printer,” you repeat, shrugging. “Happens.”

“I’m gonna regret asking you this, but…how?”

“Well, I was printing some documents earlier, and the paper got stuck, so, I had to lift the top and get in there, right?”

He nods. “Right.” 

So far, it sounds plausible, but he knows you. Matt is well aware that your clumsiness manages to exceed his in many ways, and you have gotten yourself into predicaments in the past that he still hasn’t wrapped his head around. Sometimes, shit happens to and around you, and he has to accept that. He never fails to try though, which is kind of endearing, in a way. It’s something you have gotten used to over the years; he has to ensure you’re okay or he can’t find a moment to rest.

“I wasn’t wearing my glasses,” you confess, “so I had to put my face as close as possible to see what I was doing. Anyway, the paper ripped and since my position didn’t allow for any traction, I accidentally got my thumb caught on a sharp edge because if I’d pulled my hand out I would’ve hit myself in the face.”

A moment of silence passes. The wheels in Matt’s head visibly turn. He fidgets with the waistband of his pants, still processing. Eventually, he asks, “What?”

You sigh. “I’m sorry for not cleaning up. I was busy trying to fix my thumb and the printer.”

“I’m not… sweetheart, I’m not worried about the mess. I’m worried about you.” Matt slips the glasses off his nose and places them aside. 

“I’m okay,” you tell him. But are you, really?

“You sure?” He bridges the gap between you, tugging at your hand to run his fingers over the bandage; the cut underneath screams in protest. “Let me check.” His hazel eyes focus blankly at the space where your nose is, but it feels as though he is staring into your soul. 

“Matt…” You try to stop him, but he swiftly unpacks the injury. 

He sucks in a sharp breath when the scent hits him. You wonder what it smells like; blood, definitely, and maybe some of the ink you accidentally got into the wound before disinfecting it. His thumb gently inspects the area around it, trying not to hurt you. Matt can’t help but shake his head again; it doesn’t take much for him to realize that it isn’t just a tiny cut. 

“Jesus,” he curses under his breath. “Feels like you’re missing some skin there.”

You try to make light of the situation. “Maybe we’ll find it the next time one of us prints something.”

His jaw clenches. You’re not in pain anymore, and your fight with the printer did not lead to a life-threatening injury, but he can’t stand the thought of you being hurt, not even for a second. 

“I love you,” he says, “but you’re the clumsiest person I’ve ever met.” It’s not as endearing as it usually sounds.

“Huh.” You huff. “That’s saying a lot, considering you’re the clumsiest person I’ve ever met.”

“I’m blind,” he retorts, eyebrows raised to his hairline. He’s standing there, expression suggesting he thinks you have officially lost your mind, and it rubs you the wrong way.

You retract your hand, glaring at him with all you’ve got. “And I’m extremely short-sighted!” You don’t have to yell for him to feel the intended sting of your tone. 

His hands find their way back to his hips like a condescending mother. “Why weren’t you wearing your glasses?”

“Because,” you say, “I accidentally got coffee on them this morning and forgot to put them back on.” Your confidence falters halfway through though, realizing it doesn’t work well in your defense. Especially not in an argument with a skilled lawyer such as your boyfriend.

You love his caring nature more than life, but sometimes he treats you like a child who needs saving. Your heart is racing in your chest, and perhaps that is why he stops before you can make an argument out of a simple cut on your finger. It’s not worth it.

“I… you know what,” Matt caves, and his biceps relax, “I’m not even going to ask.”

You nod, albeit not triumphantly. You didn’t exactly win this battle of wits. “Yeah. Probably for the better,” you answer, chin held high, but it’s of no use.

You got defeated. By a printer. 

His lips curve into a soft smile. “C’mere.” He leans in, his nose brushing against yours. He smells of his cologne, paper, and coffee—like home. And he probably tastes like what he had for lunch or maybe the water he gozzled before heading home, but there is always a slight tinge of something indescribable when he kisses you. 

Before your lips can finally touch though, he halts. Matt sniffs, licking his lips and tasting the air. “You smell like ink,” he says. 

Your eyes narrow. Asshole. “Thank you. That’s…should I pour bleach into my mouth to accommodate you, Murdock?” you snap, pushing away from him.

Instead of begging on his knees for forgiveness—a dramatic notion you would not be opposed to—he laughs. Matt Murdock has the audacity to laugh. “I’m sorry,” he breathes out between giggles. “I’m sorry. Hey!” He tugs at your arm once more. “At least let me hug you. Please.”

You pout. “I’ll bite you.”

“Please don’t.”

“I might.”

He brings you into his arms with little resistance from your end, guiding your head just above his heart. So you can hear him. Feel him. Smell him. “I love you too,” he murmurs against your hair. 

You bury your face in his chest. It’s unfair how comfortable he is. “Hm. You’re lucky you’re irreplaceable,” you say, but it lacks conviction.

Matt clicks his tongue. “You’re so nice to me.” 

“You started it.”

“That’s fair.” Grabbing your chin, he tilts your head back up. “I still love you.”

You can’t bite back a smile this time, purring, “Oh, I know.” 

That’s never going to change, you know. And you love him. All of him, all the time, and unconditionally. 

Tag List: @littlenerdyravenclaw @yarrystyleeza @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @sya-skies @amberritonicole @thatonegamefish @norestfortheshelbywicked @mattkinsella @itwasthereaminuteago @linamarr @gpenguin666 @acharliecoxedfan @pigeonmama @bohemianrhapsody86 @a-gir1-has-n0-name @winkev1 @callsign-ember @chittaphonstar @buckyyyismahhlife @trublu2u @xnatyx @zomtart

[alexiswritingstuff]

A partner in the dark.

Pairing: Logan x male reader

Request: Logan with a m!reader who has insomnia/just can’t sleep?? I can’t sleep, but I’m never sure if it’s insomnia because other times I sleep just fine. maybe it’s anxiety, idk - but sometimes I think all those problems would go away if I just had a big fluffy man to cuddle on, y’know??

Warnings: none.

A/n: this might be the shortest fic I have ever written. This request is so unbelievably real. As always, be aware that my characterisation of Logan may be a little off as I'm still getting used to writing for him, and that there may be spelling mistakes and such as I can tend to miss them.

To the person that sent this in I hope this is what you were asking for, and that you enjoy it!

The same goes for everyone else!!

Logan masterlist.

The awareness of time had been lost. It had been hours at this point. The only certain thing was that the night had taken over the sky.

Your room was cascaded in the usual darkness, except for a few streams of the outside light that escaped through a parting of the curtains. Apparently they hadn't been closed right.

To put it simply, you were wide awake in a bed that practically served no purpose. 

Your eyes were stuck on the ceiling. There was no particular reason. I mean, there wasn't anything to look at anyway, it was just plain white. A shade that was really starting to get boring.

But alas, every attempt at peeling your gaze from it or even just shutting your eyes had failed. Similar to the effort to sleep.

Multiple times the rustling of the bed sheets would crackle through the air as your limbs shifted across the mattress, though the only thing really achieved was discovering a new position.

Eventually, your back was the last option left. So, there you were, stuck facing upward while your hands sat on top of each other on your chest. You could feel it rise and fall. Even the faintest beats of your heart.

And it still didn't work.

An exhale parted your lips after sucking in through your nose. There was one more try for comfort, your shoulders sort of rubbing into the bed as if they were the source of the problem.

“Can't sleep?”

You blinked initially, the sound almost delayed in your ears as your senses weren’t as active as they were before.

Soon, your head loosely lolled to the side, at most an attempt to send a simple glance at the man. Though, it remained when you had met with his dark eye. 

Only one was on display; the other engulfed by the pillow. He lay opposite you, in more ways than one. He was on his stomach as he peered at you, eyelids visibly heavy; each blink lasted longer than the next.

“Did I wake you?” you whispered. 

Logan sort of huffed at that, air piercing from his nose. “Could,” he corrected through a grumble, “until some guy kicked me in the leg.”

The side of your face fully pressed into your pillow, chin lowering, so that you could face him enough. “I did?” You were cringing, concerned gaze fixating on Logan while he slowly but surely started to twist his body round with an equal amount of groans. 

There was almost a sigh of relief when he had landed on his back, his body bouncing just a tad from the sudden movement. “Don’t worry about it.” he offered with some gruffness, his lack of energy seeming to affect his use of tone. 

It had you just looking at him for a moment. Watching the last few times he blinked before his eyes decided to stay closed. You hummed for a response, a sound so light it had barely even made its way through your throat.

And then you were back to facing that dreaded ceiling. It almost annoyed you by how smooth it looked. Didn’t even look like it had been painted, even if it had; there were no streaks or imperfections. Just purely white.

“What’s wrong?”

This time, you didn’t budge. “Nothing.” you practically whispered. “You sure?” Logan was quick to ask, seeming to shuffle around a little bit as the bed creaked, “I personally don’t find a ceiling all that interesting.”

The tensity in your muscles eased, especially in your face, when you allowed your head to turn. Yet again.

He was looking at you through almost half lidded eyes. Though, his eyebrows were raised, inviting your answers. You sighed, trying to think of the right words to use before your lips inevitably parted. 

“My brain’s too loud.”

It was the only way you could describe it. I mean, the room engulfing the two of you was silent. Completely silent. There were no sounds of birds from outside, or wind. Not even a car driving passed on the road. 

If a pin had been dropped in any corner of the room, maybe even right down the hallway, you would have heard it. Thus, it was all from your head. 

Logan seemed to sit up a little at that. The movement wasn’t so much in his body than it was his head as it raised slightly from the pillow beneath. “D’you wanna talk about it?”

You could’ve pictured the expression on his face if you hadn’t already been looking at it; the furrowing of his eyebrows, the squint of his eyes, the light frown that dragged the corners of his lips. Now, he was awake. 

You shook your head, as much as you could in your position. “It’s just annoying.” you confessed, grabbing onto Logan’s hand when he reached over.

Initially it was aimed towards your face, but you held it instead. You needed something in your hand; to feel it. “I’m so tired, but when I try to sleep nothing happens, you know?”

“It’s the one thing I should be able to do– like everyone else, and I just… I can’t. I can’t get myself to stop thinking.”

Logan’s other hand came up from somewhere under the sheet, dragging along the bedding until it could finally make contact with your face. An exhale instinctively huffed through your nose at the touch, and the feeling of his warm fingers. He caressed along your cheekbone. “Come here.”

You stared back at him for a moment, his features barely visible in the few streams of light until it got to his shining eyes.

Logan let go of you for a moment, grabbing at the dog tags around his neck before pulling it to the side. And then he held his arms out, proving that he meant it.

You complied.

Your head ended up landing on his chest, mostly because he guided it there himself, and it was almost instantly that your body melted onto his.

You could feel his arms encasing you, finding their wanted positions just like yours were, though eventually his hands had settled around your shoulders.

His heartbeat was right in your ear; the slow rhythm of it, the thuds themselves. Truthfully, even if none of this helped you to sleep, you still wouldn’t mind listening to it until the sun came up. 

“There’s nothing to worry about now,” Logan insisted with a breath that raised you with his chest. He pressed a kiss to your head before leaning his chin against it, “It can wait until morning.”

“I can’t just shut my mind off, Logan–”

“It can wait.” he maintained, tightening his hold on you as he shifted slightly on the bed. 

It had you wanting to roll your eyes. To shake your head, maybe even roll off of him completely, but there was something about it that made it impossible to do so. 

You were surrounded by his warmth. His arms. Him. He had given his body to lean on, and offered the sound of his heart right to you; a sound you don’t get to hear very often. There was no chance that you were moving. 

By the next exhale, your head had sunk further into the bare skin of his chest. The two of you practically melded together. 

Your fingers lightly traced along the back of his arm, following the edge of his muscles as the sound of his breaths filled your ears. “Thank you.” you whispered after a moment, finally letting your eyes fall closed.

“No need.”

[heavenlymorals]

Susan Grimshaw - A Small Deep dive Into A Complicated Woman

(Warning: This post contains mentions of period typical sexism and gender roles, as well as spoilers for RDR2)

Susan Grimshaw is one of the most interesting characters in the Van Der Linde gang and perhaps one of the most mischaracterized as well. She is either this beloved tough mother caricature or a deplorable hag more reminiscent of Cinderella's step mother than any true matriarch.

Today, though, I want to go into a little cultural deep dive regarding Miss Grimshaw. I want to explore the cultural significance of her character and how she's sadly a representation of the affects of misogyny and how it could affect a woman.

And for context, I come from a culture that still operates under many of the gender roles that 1899 America followed so all the stuff I'm gonna talk about are all things I've seen and/or experienced in my life time.

Grimshaw seems to me like a woman who is trying to compensate. What do I mean by this? Simple. What I mean is that in such a male dominated society that expected women to adhere to their standards, the fact that Susan Grimshaw wasn't able to is a source of insecurity for her, which then makes her lash out on the other girls of the camp.

Whether consciously or unconsciously, she heavily values male praise and authority. She is generally sweet and playful with Arthur, giving the vibe of that mother that we all seem to love so much, but with the girls, she's hell incarnate.

The second we get into Horseshoe Overlook, she talks to Arthur on how they got his tent ready and then tells Dutch and Hosea they would be ready shortly. The second we get into Horseshoe Overlook, she tells Tilly: "Miss Jackson, I've seen shit with more common sense than you, do it properly!". That one scene shows or gives an idea of how she is with the men vs how she is with the women.

She is awful to the girls. She reminds me a lot of mothers who are sweet and even servant-like to their sons and who view their daughters as competition, thus are harder and horrible to them (to my fellow Arab girlies, you know how it is. It sucks).

She never lets them rest and always gets on them for working the "wrong" way. That's pretty damn demoralizing. She berates them, calls them whores, and even physically assaults them. She even complains that she hates how Dutch won't allow her to whip them. And here's the thing, you can't even cite historical attitude with her behavior because even back then, abusive mistresses were criticised and seen in a bad light.

One of the most vile things she's ever done is try to pressure Abigail into prostitution again, even though she knows that Abigail is a mother and never wants to do that again, threatening her by telling her that she'd bring the matter up to Dutch even if Dutch himself never wanted her to do any of that.

But that behavior stems from her own insecurity of not hitting the milestones that women were expected to reach at that point.

She isn't married, nor was married, and a woman's identity of marriage was such a big thing back then that Grimshaw tries to cope with it by being decent with the men or accepting their flattery. She gets interested in Micah before he makes fun of her for being an older woman. She was willing to go out with Uncle before he asks her for money. She is fond of Dutch and still talks about when they were together sometimes and doesn't dare berate Molly because she's Dutch's girl. She even ignores the girls when they are doing something not work wise with the men- probably to please the man.

Tilly mentions this. "If I'm playing with you, she'll leave me alone."

But no one wants her and that then makes her lash out. She bullies Mary Beth on how she's too vain and that her beauty will go away, just like it "went away for her" and that what's left is awful. Like that such a sad mindset but in the time period she lived in, it makes sense. Women were usually married off by their early twenties due to their youth and vigor and beauty was perhaps the most important part of a woman because it's the only area where she is respected and that fucking sucks (note how many myth/historical women are praised almost only for their beauty). As women grew older, they'd become less desirable to the male dominant society, thus they would be shamed and humiliated. This even happens to Bonnie McFarlane in RDR1 in the newspapers when she's only in her late twenties, but because she isn't married, she gets shamed.

Grimshaw feels insecure about these aspects of her, of her looks, of her age, and that makes her lash out on the other women of the camp because they are young and beautiful. It makes her feel like she has a power that she lost by being a 50+ year old woman with nothing to her name.

So to compensate and to show her "value" as a woman, she works and works and works to dignify Dutch's camp because in that aspect of her life, she doesn't need to worry about her insecurities.

Yes. Grimshaw cares for the girls, and she'll scrap for all of them, but that doesn't mean she isn't a problematic and toxic person. It's sad that she feels like she needs to do all that for male approval in a male dominant society but good God, man. Again, she's literally that mother who feels threatened by her daughter and competes with her but treats her son like a prince, even if she still loves her daughter.

Yea, she helped save Tilly and pointed her gun at Micah in the end, but that doesn't mean she's just this "tough" mother figure. No. She's mean and toxic and awful and all of that is because of misogyny and how it feeds into her own insecurities as an older woman.

It's fucking sad.

[loser-female]

Math masterpost!

So you want to learn math. Good. Math is amazing. I studied physics for two years and I miss it SO MUCH. Learning math isn't just cool, but it's a great way to improve skills such as:

Resilience: sometimes you will get stuck for a while on a problem - this is absolutely normal for college-level problems. You won't start from here though;

Self confidence: mastering a subject known to be difficult is fun;

Problem solving: you will be less likely to just sit down and do nothing if something comes up in your life, you will be able to try to find a solution.

It will change your approach to failure as you will become more flexible in your thinking.

Unfortunately most people never learn how to properly study math. We all probably know how to study a book over humanities. We start by reading the material, then we take notes of the keypoints. But this method doesn't work with math, and math teachers often don't really know either.

For the basics I've made this post here. To sum it up:

Please don't start with "but i suck at it". Because then your brain will actually prevent you from learning (self-fulfilling prophecy, anyone?);

Realise that you need to master one topic before covering the next one or you won't be able to progress;

Really, the methods you use for things like literature or psychology or whatever won't work

Now I'm not a genius, I always was and I always be a terrible student. I have adhd, depression and chronic pain, all of which add a difficulty layer with learning.

I feel like most people fail because of the first point. I've seen this with people I've tutored IRL, people I try to fix their pc... Don't be the person that gives up before trying because no one likes that. Just don't. Remember that you are learning on your own and no one is going to grade your excercises. Now take that and make a poster out of iy.

Now, resources Where To Find The Stuff.

Khan Academy. I didn't follow this courses becuase well, university, physics, but everyone references them.

Professor Leonard

The Math Sorcerer

3b1b (curiosities in math)

Vsauce2 (fun)

numberphile (this for understanding math memes)

r/learnmath resources are great!

A great study method

Proofs? Proofs.

A 3 page document on learning math (but it's cool)

Terry Tao's famous post "there is more in mathematics about rigour and proofs"

Remember that, even if you don't like a specific youtuber, source or anything it has been a while since college and high school teachers started to upload their own material. Generally, looking for like "calculus pdf" will give you a lot of resources. Youtube is full of university courses of every kind and it's so good to access all of this knowledge for free. I cannot recommend you anything regarding textbooks because I still have my high school one. Also yes, i've used the Rudin as a complementary textbook in university but that's a bit too much.

I really, really want to emphasize the mentality part. Leaning formula is useless if you feel like garbage because you weren't able to solve the first exercise you picked up after a decade not doing anything.

My personal and sparce advice:

Unless you have dyscalculia don't use the calculator. I know, I KNOW. But this "lazyness" will make everything 10 times more difficult.

Beware about overlearning. Basically, when you solve everything at the first attempt and you keep doing the same thing over and over because it feels good, but the truth is that you are wasting time. This is the time to move forward.

Try to differentiate between a knowledge error(did I actually study the subject?), a conceptual error (did I understand the material), or a mere calculation/distraction error (fo example a missing sign, writing the wrong thing etc)

Try to solve the problems in different ways if you can.

After a certain time, It will be useful to review things done in the past, (ref: spaced repetition method).

Write everything down. Reasonings, steps etc. It will be easier for you to review them.

This posts keep crashing so I have to call it quits now.

but:

have fun

[noctis-horrow]

LYLIAAAAA DEOP AN ASTER NSFW ALPHABET 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐒𝐒𝐒🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

Oh man, this took me forever! But here you go Anon. Now gimme your soul!

ASTER NSFW ALPHABET

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Aster doesn’t care about aftercare, he just wants to sleep after the act. He’d definitely squeeze you tight like a plush toy before falling asleep, he needs to make sure you aren’t leaving him. Things can be cleaned when he wakes up.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself, Aster loves his ears the most, how can he ever live without them. Plus the piercings make them fun to touch everytime. On you, he loves your hair the most. And if you have body hair, even better! He loves touching soft things, getting to touch your hair or even facial hair will be the world to him.Other body parts are just food source, but hair, he can’t eat hair, so touching is the second best thing.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Cum is salty = Possible food source.

He’s going to suck you dry.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Being with you is fun and all, but sometimes, he wishes an old friend of his could be here as well. His only dirty secret is, well, he still keeps his friend’s skeleton somewhere. He loves to lick them whenever he’s sad. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Been living for over a century now, Aster has a lot of experiences thanks to Ricard’s employees. They always drag him to fun parties, get him super drunk and you get the picture. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He’s down with any position, he’s a super flexible guy! He can bottom for you if you want, but it comes with a heavy price!

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Aster finds sex just another way to have fun, he never takes it seriously. What is serious to him though is hand-holding, he only holds his favorite buddy’s hand, no one else. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Down there is a forest, good luck trying to get him to shave. The colors are the same as his hair, if you’re curious.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Like I said before, only hand holding is serious to him. Getting to touch your hand, he might cry. The last person who touched his hand like this is gone now, he missed the warmth, the soft feel on the palm. He wants this moment to last forever.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Before you, he likes to do it outside, behind a tree, about twice a week. He finds it really annoying to do, since he never does it properly so he couldn’t fully satisfy himself. He asked Ricard for help once, and he just ran off. Rude. 

But now, with you, he can finally satisfy himself properly!

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He doesn’t really have any kinks, normal sex is good enough, but you’re creative, maybe you can help him find out more things about himself. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He doesn’t get why people are scared of doing the deeds outdoors, the air is fresh, the grass feels nice on your feet and the space is endless! Yeah, you can get dirty but where’s the harm in that, just go back home and take a shower when you’re done if you hate dirt that much.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You. Touching him. Giving him affection. Being with him.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He hates hates bondage, he doesn’t like being restrained, it reminds him too much of the old times.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He can do both! His teeth are sharp, but he will promise to not bite you off. 

When at the receiving end, he might get a bit more aggressive when he’s close, might scratch your head so you should be careful. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He can try to be slow at first, but he won’t be able to contain himself the longer this keeps going. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s fine with them. You can always ask him, and he’d gladly do it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

All day, everyday baby! If you can promise that it can be fun, he’d love to try anything.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Aster has the stamina of an ostrich. He can go for a long while, but doing it for too long will bore him, so he’d end it after maybe 3 times. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

This is pretty silly, but he has never seen a toy before. Ricard never let him touch them, his employees do show him the toys sometimes, but they never let him use it. Probably because Aster might break it in a minute.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Aster doesn’t tease, if he wants something, he’ll do it immediately. He only teases his prey, giving them a little chance to escape, then getting them right at the exit is his favorite.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

L O U D

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

His ears and tail are really sensitive, licking them will make him yelp.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

About the size of a weisswurst

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Just mildly high. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

With you secured in his arms, he’ll fall asleep in a few seconds. But, he’d still wake up immediately if he feels any weird movements or sounds.

[chacusha]

The Orville thoughts

Okay, basically, most of my reaction to watching the first few minutes of this show is "How is this legal?!" Like, people weren't kidding when they said this show is more Star Trek than modern Star Trek...

(I haven't seen this many Star Trek alumni in one place since Disney's Gargoyles! :V Seriously, my face when I saw Penny Johnson Jerald!)

More thoughts:

This show really GETS the value of opening episodes with senior officers engaging in some wacky off-duty bullshit before getting called to the bridge.

This show also GETS the value of showing events happening in bright, clear lighting. Even if this makes the cheesiness of the costumes, locations, and special effects more apparent, it also makes for clearer action too, so very much worth it overall IMO.

It is so bro-y, though. So, so bro-y. I think I might have died during the "astrology sucks" episode.

Also, I feel like Kelly Grayson's character is like the embodiment of the Cool Girl archetype (bro version)? Effortlessly pretty, always willing to get drunk and party (never in an ugly or unappealing sort of way, though), always on Ed's (quite bro-y) level when it comes to humor and hobbies and interests (you know, except for that One Time She Betrayed Him).

Also, there is so much weird "women are emotional and men are logical" and other gender essentialism going on in this show that I'm not even going to go near that... Other than to note that a lot of the issues around the depiction of Moclan culture and the relationship between the Federation Union and Moclus in the show suffers from an ultimately patriarchal sort of approach to feminism.

I might be a bit feral for Claire and Isaac's relationship, though. A lot of the elements of The Orville seem to be a direct reference to Star Trek (especially TNG). As part of that, Isaac is clearly a Data expy (except with a robot superiority complex and therefore very much NOT The Nicest Boy, unlike how Data is), but I appreciate the differences here -- that they weren't afraid to give the Data expy character a romantic plotline (quite similar to the Data episode "In Theory," which ultimately shied away from having Data successfully be in a romantic relationship). I appreciate this plotline as the path not taken there!

Overall, I think this show is surprsingly good at doing sincere emotional moments (which is unexpected given Seth Macfarlane's oeuvre), but terrible at doing politics/philosophical debates/legal drama. (Like, some of the arguments made during these sci-fi issue debates are often so bad/shallow/missing the point, it's a bit cringeworthy.) Which is quite ironic given above-mentioned weird gender essentialism going on in the writing of the show!

That said, even though I would say the politics of The Orville is only OK (I would describe it as trying to live up to Star Trek but distinctly "Reddit atheist" in its aesthetic and political leanings), at least The Orville TRIES to do philosophical debate plotlines (i.e. episodes where the whole conflict/source of tension is an ethical puzzle and one that isn't a painfully easy "obviously good position vs. obviously evil position" ethical "debate" such as "is genocide good? please discuss" or "which is better: doing science or waging war? discuss"), which is something that modern Trek seems to have kind of given up on. And often the politics here, even if not particularly great, still have a distinctly progressive lean, which is better than shows like Picard, for example.

Sometimes it's hard for me to tell what in this show is meant to be a sudden change in creative vision, hastily executed, and what is meant to be a purposeful reference to TNG's (own hastily-executed) writing. For example, the black officer at the conn who suddenly gets promoted to chief of engineering? The show deciding they needed to switch directions with this character and give him more to do, or is John LaMarr a big reference to Geordi La Forge? The female security officer getting suddenly put on a bus -- a reference to what happened to Tasha Yar, or an indication of behind-the-scenes conflict? (Whatever the intention is, the writing here, while hasty, is still overall better done than those bumpy early parts of TNG.)

Another good thing about this show is that it has a good, very likable/charming mauve shirt cast, which it treats pretty well. Which, again, is more than what can be said about a lot of modern Trek, which either has very flat and boring mauve shirts, or kills them off for cheap drama (or, frequently, both, which is hilarious -- like, sure, maybe this mauve shirt dying would have some emotional weight on this show if they literally had a personality or were given anything interesting to do before this episode, but they weren't, so... 🤷).

I was looking at reviews this show got, and apparently it was quite poorly reviewed in the first season, but got better reception in later seasons. I guess this makes sense as the first season was kind of stuck in that weird area between irony-filled parody, fawning homage, and just trying earnestly to bring more Star Trek-type entertainment into the world. People seemed to think it found its footing by jettisoning some of the edgier and irreverent parody aspects in favor of straightforward earnesty, but I also kind of wonder if what happened was more like as Star Trek shows started getting worse around it (Discovery declining in quality; Picard just... being Picard....; Strange New Worlds being distinctively, like, just OK; Lower Decks being fine while avoiding serious/philosophical plotlines; Prodigy also being fine but for kids), having something that didn't shy away from the aesthetics, sci-fi worldbuilding + cosmopolitics, and self-contained plots of TNG felt refreshing? Like The Orville seemed to find its niche largely by just keeping going with what it was doing, while nuTrek failed to fill or offer anything in that highly-coveted niche aside from the perfectly passable but somewhat bland SNW.

So yeah, overall, this show falls quite short of meeting the bar of "more 90s Star Trek for you to watch," but it benefits from sincerely trying to be that, including not being afraid to do entirely new worldbuilding and political-balance-of-power within its own new universe. Or trying to create plots that tackle social issues not handled before by 90s Star Trek shows. In that sense, it keeps quite well with the original spirit of Star Trek even if it doesn't quite get there. There are some updates here as well due to being made several decades later, like more casual depictions of LGBT relationships, more variety in the alien designs, and more smoothness to the writing in general (like more coherent episode plots and character arcs). Overall, I felt the show very worth watching although quite "pointy" in quality (i.e. does some things really, really great, while doing others very poorly) and just very refreshing in the current nuTrek environment. (But with Discovery regaining its footing, maybe that will change!)

[superman--yoosung]

こんにちは！元気ですか？⬇️ I saw your taking matchups! so….I would like a Romantic Matchup for Mystic Messenger please? 어쨌든, 시작하자!

Hi @averagetoyakinnie, nice to meet you! Yours is one of the most vibrant and vividly-formatted asks I have ever seen (in a very positive way!) From one creative to another, I wish you all the best in your artistic endeavors!!

Your Mystic Messenger matchup is...................

707 !!

"Oh, Joey, I saw you were duo-ing with Seven in LOLOL the other day! You two have taken the top spots, that's impressive, hehe. But wait, why haven't either of you joined the Shooting Star guild with me?!"

To outsiders of the RFA, you and Luciel Choi seemed like a rather flashy couple. Bold fashion, Luciel's startlingly bright hair, and energetic personalities when combined - the two of you were impossible to miss whenever you cruised by in one of Seven's sports cars. To those in your circles, you were - well, you were still all those things. But you were also known to be considerate, knowledgeable, and highly creative. Out of all the members, it was often the two of you who were able to most consistently produce innovative solutions to problems that came up.

The love between the two of you already proved itself once - and Luciel couldn't wait to see what would come next in your shared story.

Fun details:

707 loves dressing up, so when he realizes your varied tastes in clothes, he'll start buying outfits that cater to those tastes. He'll send pictures of his cosplays (and crossplays) your way for you to critique the outfits and give your fashion input. Once you're an established couple, he will definitely go on a shopping splurge to buy matching outfits (and cosplays) in all the styles and brands you prefer. (And yes, that goes for Saeran, too - he's not going to be left out of this!) Honestly, this is a great way for Seven to bond with you; he thinks your taste in fashion is top tier.

Any time something you've had a hand in producing goes live, there will be an influx of posts about it on social media. Suspicious timing, you say? Seven has no idea what you're talking about. Nope. He definitely didn't make bots to promote your works the instant they're out. Why on earth would he do that? (Spoiler: he definitely did do all that.) If you take issue with the publicity, he'll stop, but only because he'll start spamming his own many socials with the information instead. His words and over-the-top lovey-dovey comments are still always sincere - he resonates with your works, and if you ever steal the headphones off his shoulders, don't be surprised to hear your music echoing back at you.

What with your humor and Seven's memeing, there is never a dull moment in the RFA chat. Even after Luciel tones it down later on, you two will always be a source of lively energy, especially when you're both together. You're able to bounce off one another's quips almost instantly, like it's second nature. You're also both very intelligent and knowledgeable. Yoosung will always come to you first, though, for help with subjects you know well; it's up to you whether you decide to help him, or do a little trolling.

Seven is delighted to find someone with as many varied interests as him; he will always take you up on an offer to join you in an activity you enjoy. He may be good at it, or he may absolutely suck at it - but he'll always give it a try and have fun with the process! Sometimes he'll pretend he's bad at something, too, like when he pretended not to know how to skateboard - but you see right through the act, because of how he handles himself in the small details. Either way, expect things to always be fun and full of laughter if he's tagging along.

Later on, your more artistic pursuits will be intriguing for Saeran to hear about and see in action. If you decide to share those interests with him, he will eventually come around to them, and if you ever put up a small gallery in your home of digital art or give a private concert for Luciel and he cries like a baby by the end of it - well, that's between the three of you.

You and Seven will sometimes switch to different languages while speaking or messaging. Sometimes it's to troll the rest of the RFA a bit, or annoy them, but sometimes it's just because one of you is bored or the thought you'd like to convey is better said in another language. Anyways, Luciel's door passwords are no match for you, so he's just going to have to learn Tagalog faster than you can if he wants to keep you out, isn't he?

Any and all of your date ideas are fine by Luciel. In fact, why not do multiple in a day? (He's a bit hesitant to leave Saeran alone, but as long as your most trusted maid is at home to babysit, he's down for anything and everything.) Expect many handmade gimmicks and knick-knacks from Saeyoung. Like the robo-cat, his gifts have dual purposes beyond just appearance, though sometimes while on a date, he'll sneak something simple home, like a flower you stared at for too long (yes, plucked straight from the neighbor's garden as is, he's a menace like that) or a keychain from your favorite anime. Enjoy these gifts - they are all given sincerely and with love!

When you give him a drawing for the first time, Seven is just... floored. What did he do to deserve something so precious and intimate? It will be his most treasured item, even long after you've settled into life together. He will take in every little detail, every sketched line or color, and his heart will never fail to skip a little faster than normal. This is, after all, the fruit of conscious effort and labor by you made with him in mind. It's proof that you think about him. It's proof you care. That's more than enough for him, yet you choose to share even more - and my, how it makes him realize how impossibly lucky he is.

It was love at first sight for Seven. The moment he saw you on that camera, he was gone. Your fashion, your looks, the way you carry yourself... He wasn't lying about the 2.35 seconds - he couldn't look away. And of course, over the time you spent on the messenger app and in person, he only fell deeper for you as he got to know your personality and soul. With you and Saeran by his side, Saeyoung thinks that - maybe, finally - he can finally learn what a true, happy family is meant to be. You are his source of hope.

~~I also thought of Yoosung for you, but I wasn't sure if you'd prefer that since he was in your kins. (And more importantly, he does the "You're just like XXXX" thing, which you mentioned you dislike.) Anyways, I hope this is to your liking!

[whentherewerebicycles]

2023 in review

2023 was a challenging year but it also brought a lot of joy and positive change. I spent almost 6 out of 12 months of this year pregnant which is kind of weird to think about. here are 10 things, good and bad, that happened to me in 2023:

I hit rock bottom with my horrible job and realized I had to get the fuck out. I think I was pretty depressed/not myself for most of last winter and it was almost completely because of that job (and the sense of lost identity and purpose that came with changing careers). I learned some important things about myself though! namely that I am miserable in easy meaningless jobs that ask absolutely nothing of me and that it’s not worth it to me to make a lot of $$ if my day-to-day work existence is so empty. also I just really, really love working in an university and I missed that kind of work environment (dysfunctional as it can be!) so intensely when I stepped out of it for a while.

my best friend moved to San Francisco (a very easy, very cheap flight from Seattle) and I got to see her SO much, at least once a month and sometimes twice a month. god what a source of incredible, incredible joy that was, especially during the bleak times of Bad Job Despair. AND THEN SHE MOVED HERE OVER THE SUMMER!!!!!! I know our time of living in the same place is probably limited (they are very far from family and about to have a baby) but it is so wonderful to have for now and I feel so so grateful that we will be on maternity leave and learning how to take care of newborns together. I feel like we will keep each other sane, and also I think have a lot of fun in the process.

I started cooking in earnest!!!!! at the start of 2023 I was not a confident cook at all and it took me forever to make even simple things. but this year I made 105 new recipes and became someone who genuinely enjoys cooking as a hobby. I look at recipe blogs for fun now and I get really into meal planning and I find it kinda therapeutic to spend time preparing delicious healthy meals. this is my proudest accomplishment of 2023 because I really intentionally set goals, made a plan, and spent the year successfully executing it. yay!

I went to Japan and Korea with my mom and we had SUCH a good time. it was so fun to see her with her best friend (I’ve never seen my mom with a true BFF before!!) and it was just one of those trips I think we will both remember forever. it made me want to try to travel more with her—no idea how to make that happen with a baby but I’m determined!

I got a new job :) it was truly Dream Job for the first few blissful months and it’s still really, really, really good, just about to get a little more complicated with some internal reorganizations. on the whole though it’s been SUCH a positive experience. I love my team, I really like all the people I’ve met, and I enjoy going to work every day. the one thing missing is that I really, really want to teach and haven’t yet worked out a way to do that. but I am hopeful that I can get there in the next year or two, and then it really might be Dream Job for the long haul.

I spent many months trying to get pregnant. my path was a lot shorter and a lot easier than many people I know (I got pregnant in six total IUI cycles), but lord it also wiped out my savings and then some, and I found the process itself to be joyless and emotionally pretty excruciating. I felt really bad about my body and my gender and my self! it sucked! I don’t want to go into it further just know that I kinda hated it!

I lost my first pregnancy :( I don’t have to relive it here I’ve already processed it aloud so many times but it was one of the harder experiences of my adult life, and I think was made much more difficult by the fact that my SIL was pregnant on almost the exact same timeline, so I watched her live every happy exciting milestone while I was deep in grief. I feel like I’m in an okay place about it now and I’ve done the processing I need to, but boy that was a rough summer. the good part was that I felt so, SO loved and taken care of by my friends and family throughout the entire experience. I will remember that feeling always! but I miss my little baby and I still think about him and I’m still so sad I’ll never get to meet him.

I had a great year with my dogs. I love them so much and gosh they are LOVING life in the pacific northwest—so many trails and so much more outdoor time, especially in the summer. Pip and I did an agility class and an urban parkour class this year and it is always so fun to watch him learn/problem-solve and to bond with him that way. I am hoping to try a class with ruthie this spring (although her leash reactivity is so bad indoors that it might be challenging lol). but yeah they were the lights of my life this year and a source of so much comfort and joy, as always. nothing is better than loving and being loved by little animals who live in your house 😭 I am so lucky to have them.

I started trying to make new friends! and to push myself to be better/more proactive about sustaining and investing in existing friendships! this is going to be one of my main areas of focus/growth for 2024 but I feel like I started making strides in this direction and I want to keep working at it.

I got pregnant again :) I’m 18 weeks along and so far everything is good and baby is healthy. the first trimester was rough and I did not feel like myself!! I felt like it reactivated all of the grief and fear I hadn’t fully resolved yet from the first loss, and I had a really hard time in my own brain for many, many weeks. but the further along I get the better I feel emotionally and the more I open myself up to hope. I am out of my mind excited about being a parent aaaaaaaaaa I wish time would speed up and bring him to me faster! I love him so much already and I think all the time about what he’s going to be like. I cannot wait I cannot wait I cannot wait. and I’m SO excited for my parents too, esp my mom, who is over the moon and has been so great about making me feel loved and supported in this process even as I go it solo. aaaaa I’m going to have a BABY!!!!!! a little tiny baby!!!!!!! he’s going to live in my HOUSE!!!!!!!! I’m trying to make myself enjoy the last months of only being responsible for myself but honestly I’ve had 34 years of that and I’m ready for the next adventure. yayayayayay what a joyful note to end this year on!!!

[violetthistle1]

Excerpt from See Me Now by Violet Thistle on Ao3. Remus writes Teddy a letter in case the unthinkable happens.

Full fic length: 10, 706 words

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57586909

My darling Teddy,

Even if you find yourself alone, you are never unloved, because I love you. Even if I’m gone I love you. It’s an eternal state of being, my love for you. Call on that knowledge whenever you need it, it will never fail, no matter what you grow up to become.

Find yourself a good group of friends. In my experience, it will be the ones who sit next to you on the train your first year of Hogwarts, but that’s a small sample size and liable to be disproven. You’ll know they are the right ones when they accept you for who you are in whatever form you take. They will protect you when you are at your weakest, and rely on you to come up with the best mischief.

The best Mischief doesn’t hurt anyone, and if you’re lucky gets you out of class for the afternoon. Don’t get into too much trouble, and stay clear of Mrs. Norris. Always make up the lessons you missed, and never talk back to the teachers. Unless they’re former death eaters. You can talk back to them all you want.

Don’t smoke, not ever. But if you end up curious like me, stay clear of Pall Mall’s, and try to quit before you turn 30 for the love of Merlin.

Don’t do drugs, not ever. But again if you’re curious like me, stick to pot, and don’t even touch any of the other stuff. It’s not worth the addiction.

Don’t date, not ever. But when you do, don’t be afraid to make the first move, even if it is your best friend. Be sure to ask for permission before you kiss someone though, it’s better that way. Also, it’s ok if they’re not a girl. My first wasn’t either. That’s a long story, but I’m sure my journals are lying around if you’re curious. Also, also. It’s ok if you’re not a boy. Go back to my first point if you wonder what my thoughts are on that.

It’s ok if love doesn’t come easy. I have loved in my life, but I have also had great swaths of time when I didn’t love anyone romantically. Both are fine. Find ways to accept yourself just as you are, apart from anyone else. It’s ok if you don’t ever find ‘the one’, so long as you find acceptance in yourself.

I’m proud of you. I know you’re thinking, how could I know? I know. I know you are great, just the way you are. Didn’t pass that test? I’m still proud of you. Maybe find other study methods, or ask a teacher for help with the next one. Didn’t get that job? I’m still proud of you. Job interviews suck. They have no reflection on who you are or what your worth is.

If you’re at all like me, there will be times in your life when you are down. When the world keeps hitting you and you can’t take one more punch, and then it hits you again. I love you. Life is hard and unfair and really shitty sometimes. It’s okay to reach out to friends, family, or a therapist if you need it. It’s okay to need to take a prescription to help you get through life. It doesn’t mean you failed. It means you are giving this life everything you got, and that’s courageous. Don’t roll your eyes, it is.

There will be times when your body fails you. It’s okay to need medications. It’s okay to need mobility aids, even when you don’t have grey hair. It’s okay to call in sick to your job. The right job will work around that. If there comes a point where you can’t work anymore, your value does not come from a job you get paid for. You are a valued part of society, just by the voice you add to the world, by the people you make laugh, by the scribble of your pen or brush. There is a multitude of ways you can contribute to the world, even if you can’t physically work.

I know I could fill pages and pages more and still not have said all I want to say to you. So, perhaps I’ll say, I’m not the only source of wisdom (thank Merlin for that). Find a mentor who you can trust and listen to them, even when they tell you hard truths. Just pretend it’s coming from me, and maybe that will lessen the blow.

I love you so much, my darling Teddy,

Dad

Postscript: Reading this back, I really focused on the difficult times of life haven’t I? Maybe that’s because my life was hard much of the time, and that’s when I wanted advice the most. So here’s a little note for the happier times. Congratulations on finishing your education! Continue to find subjects and fields of interest to read and study into adulthood. This doesn’t have to be the end of learning if you don’t let it be. Congratulations on landing that job! Continue to pursue your interests, even if this isn’t your dream job. Sometimes the best jobs are the ones with a peaceful work environment and supportive colleagues rather than the elite job that works you to the bone. Congratulations on becoming a parent! (Not an obligation, just including it in case) I’ve only been a parent for seven days, but my advice is, be as hands-on as you can be. Change diapers, make late-night runs to the store for your partner, and don’t forget to gaze deeply into your kid’s eyes while rocking them to sleep. It’s the best. Especially when the kid’s an animorphmagus who’s eyes change color like a mood ring. New Patronus memory unlocked!

[mrs-monaghan]

https://www.tumblr.com/mrs-monaghan/716751095560552448/i-love-jikook-so-much-ive-been-supporting-them?source=share

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you or make you hate me. I didn't mean about what taekookers say, because I don't believe in taekook. Never have, never will, for me, the image of them together is just ridiculous, its not even imaginable...

What I meant was other jikook blogs also doubting them for the lack of public outings. I've seen a couple of posts on the jikook tag, posted by jikook blogs, and what they deem as the "change" in their dynamics from 2019 to 2023.

I really do believe in Jikook, I guess depression just gets the best of me sometimes and I start to think negatively about everything, I guess that's when taekookers start to get under my skin and I guess that's when jikookers who out of nowhere turn against them start to get in my head, too. Again, I really didn't mean for you to hate me, I just felt like it's been hard to deal with not seeing them so much and not getting much content about them.

But I do believe they're hanging out a lot in private before they have to leave for MS. Jungkook has been especially quiet these past couple of days.

Oh anon, now I feel like a dick.

I did not mean to make u feel like I hate you. From the bottom of my heart I apologise for making you feel this way 🙏🏽 But let me explain myself. I hate insecure Jikookers with a passion. I hate them even more than tkkrs if you can believe that.

Jikook have done everything to show us their love for each other. And I am sure they would love our support. Imagine how nice it would be and how happy Jikook would be if the fandom actually accepted them. If Armys didn't fight them so hard. Imagine the frustration JK felt after Rosebowl when the next day he saw nothing had changed. Imagine how they felt after they did this

And haters wrote to BH asking them to make Jikook stop. Accusing them of being too gay. I can see that being why they got even louder because "fuck this people" especially JK.

They already have so many haters the least we can do is support them. The least we can do is not doubt them simply because we can't see them. Having these expectations from Jikook when we don't even have them on ourselves is ridiculous. They need us to trust them. Especially since everytime content drops they are more than fine, they are happy and still the same Jikook that we have always known.

So yes, I get annoyed when I see people who doubt them even though Jikook haven't given us reason to. If you wanna doubt Jikook, do it during moments like these where they were clearly fighting

Tweet

Jimin's face there gets me everytime 😂 Baby is so confused. JK tell your man what he did dammit!

This too

Anyway, u get my point. Insecure Jkkrs just irritate me sfm and I took that out on you so I'm sorry. Hope u can forgive me

That being said anon, no content doesn't mean no more Jikook. So u need to adjust that mentality. If u miss them just watch some good Jikook content. Remind yourself why you're a Jkkr to begin with. It will make u less susceptible.

Anyway, insecure Jkkrs suck ass. They especially have no business using the Jikook tag and making other people doubt Jikook too. Keep that shit to yourself 🙄😒

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

Tw CSA, rape, being locked up, proship source? ... Hmm I'm really worried about this but here goes. I contemplated not giving details but heck I don't know how to explain it all without being transparent. I'm a c!tommyinnit alter (people already always fake claim us for that and anything else mcyt related) and I'm not aware of anyone in our system interreacting with any problematic media prior to my forming, but somehow I ended up with a pretty problematic source and pseudo memories that I can't talk about with anyone. My source pretty much follows canon, except my Dream had pedophilic feelings and obsession with me and during the exile arc he would rape me repeatedly and after I ran away from exile he would hunt me down and then lock me up and violate me again and again. He wanted me to love him back and eventually I just got so tired of it and gave in to at least get rid of a fracture of the suffering. I really don't know where this source and pseudo memories came from and I just hate it all so much. I know they had to come from somewhere though so maybe it's just how our brain interpreted canon and also tied in the real life things that have happened to us. But if you know mcyt you know there is this one really bad problematic sub community that everyone hates. And whenever I try to even talk about myself a little people assume we must be part of said community. Even pushed us to feel like maybe that community would be the only people to accept us, but they just wanted to exploit and use us. I hate how when people hear I'm a Tommy they assume I'll be loud, dramatic, boisterous, and swear all the time when I'm just not, and then they fake claim us. I've met a few other Tommy introjects that present similarly to me in mannerism, but I still can't even imagine trying to talk about my source. I hate that I have this source, I hate that I actually miss my Dream and sometimes read problematic stuff just to try to cope with missing him. I hate how I feel like I have to hide. I don't know how I'm ever supposed to heal is I never even feel safe to talk.... anyways, this blog seems real cool and we have found solace in hearing other people's stories. Thank you for courage and this outlet. Keep being strong everyone 💙 - 💽🌿

God that sucks. having to go through all of that. Just know you arent alone in your feelings. We also have alters that read problematic things and sometimes miss their abusers. It isnt wrong, its sturggling, its being a survivor.

I hope you're doing well, you're strong yourself.

[goblinsofdiscord]

Enneagram 7w6: The Tinfoil Brat 👽😈🧚‍♀️

by Larissa

Nicknames I think fit this type: Tinfoil Brat, Party Goblin, Cheeto Gremlin, Attention Deficit Marauder, Little Rascal, Miss Demeanor, Disco Inferno, Constant Craving, Loveable Lunatic, Rabbithole Raver, Provocative Pollinator, Pixie Grifter, Trashbag Trickster, Enfant Terrible, The ‘Suck It and See’.

7w6’s scuttle, dart, flit and operate in an often spasmodic fashion. They’re constantly seeking shortcuts and novel ways of experiencing reality. You’ll know them by the signature trail of chaos they sow. They’re the “too much” or “a lot” friend; sometimes annoying in their fervor, impatient and scattered little imps. Tricksters at heart, they’re naively obscene and often artless in their communication style, grinning while they deliver an insult. But it’s ok, because they’re more interesting than you (by their own assertion). At their best, 7’s are generous and inspiring. While they may throw themselves pity parties, they’ll make sure there’s still spiked punch, Cheetos, a great playlist and sexual (sometimes grotesquely so) innuendo abound.

7w6’s share a core type with 7w8, but the 7w8 is more of a Bulldozer Barbie, Bellicose Bella, a Girl Gone Wild. Where the 7w6 is a chattering chipmunk, the 7w8 is a rhino with fake tits and they give zero fucks that you can see their areola poking out of their too-tight shirt.

7 is a “head type” and with a 6 wing it makes for a double “head type”; a pinball machine that never tires unless you start telling them a long-winded story about your poorly-healthed grandmother or the irksome details of your home renovation. 7’s underdo fear by escaping and avoiding it or anything that harshes their vibe. 7’s are one of the more solipsistic types, however, with a 6 wing (instead of an assertive, confident and grandiose 8 wing) it also has a dose of anxiety, paranoia and hypervigilance. They're aware that they're annoying and that fear isn’t truly escapable. Their 6-ish traits can be exacerbated by walls closing in on them or external forces trying to control or oppress them. Or if they’ve given in to reckless excess they might become terrorized by the consequences catching up to them. They can spiral into worst case scenarios and become reactive and hostile toward anyone who seems like a threat to their freedom, agency or fantasies.

However, unlike the 6, 7’s rarely like to view themselves as victims, even when they are. They can apply their "possibilities" orientation to catastrophic thinking and dot-connecting, which can result in excessive catastrophizing, prophetic visions or a volatile combination of both.

As a head type and a “gluttony” type, 7’s love pulling from many different places and sources, obsessively consuming whatever they’re interested in. Even though they have their own ideas about the world, they love learning, and you might find a lot of geeky 7w6’s in the wild. They’ve often taken a multitude of classes and workshops. Their 6 wing can cause them to check in with “the experts”, but they basically just want a direct hookup to the dealer. They want your mental drugs, and they want them now. Of course, they’ll skidaddle when they’ve butt-chugged enough to create their own thing - however half-baked, ill-conceived or premature it may be.

7’s aggressively extract nectar from anything they find intriguing; voraciously suckling on the tit of life like a ravenous piglet. This can manifest via their interests, or whatever libidinous pursuit they might be engaged in. Once they get sick of the flavor, or the tit starts to wither, they move on to find a new one. Or, perhaps they suck so intently and relentlessly that they end up caving in their own skull; and find themselves obese and putrescent, breathless in a pile of excess and excrement.

7 is a "frustration" type; nothing is ever quite right. They get horny off idealizing what could be, and wilt under what is. The grass is always greener on the other side. FOMO is their middle name. Their thirst for what could be is often a propulsive force, and can be the only thing that motivates them when life is mundane. They get what they want, but it doesn’t satisfy them for long. In the back of their mind, their escape plan begins unfolding, schemes begin hatching and selfish rationalizations appear as if delivered by the divine hand of God. At their worst, the 7 can enter a state of deranged, ideopraxist mania and set themselves aflame. A juggler with so many balls, they will inevitably drop all of them and be left looking like a fool. Lather, rinse, repeat, and any hope the 7 had of finding stability or sustainable gratification goes down the drain along with the pubic hair and cheap body wash of a life they’ve constructed out of endless dissatisfaction.

7 is an "assertive" type. This can make them entitled and brazen about what they want. Their motto is “Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more…” *Britney hair flip* But because of the wing 6, 7w6’s can be aware of what they “should” do or what society expects from them (especially if a Social type) and it can keep their brattiest impulses vaguely more reigned in than a 7w8 (who is double assertive). They might go for what they want, but feel bad or belatedly apologize if it has ramifications. They might also experience paralyzing apprehension, self-doubt and overwhelm when their own incompetence (or fear of it) catches up with them. However, at the end of the day, the 7w6 will end up doing what the 7w6 wants to do, which is a big distinction between 7w6 and 6w7. The 7w6 might see the “should” in front of them on the pavement, and may stare at it a while, but ultimately the 7 will squish it under their neon yellow high-top and skip away.

7 is a “positive” type, which mostly means they reframe negatives into positives. They experience “magical thinking”, especially with a 9 fix in the mix. They attempt to avoid boredom, pain, annoyance, and negativity on autopilot. It doesn’t mean that they won’t be negative or experience sorrow, as a 7w6 they have a reactive “negative” wing (doubly so, if they have a 4 and/or 8 fix). They can dwell, sob, be too depressed to peel themselves off their fluid-stained bed sheets. However, they might not really be here for *your* negativity. They’ll likely want to reframe or resolve your problem and move on with their day, instead of handing you tissue after tissue while you tell them your sob story for the thousandth time. They want to rip the Band-Aid off and find the silver lining, yesterday. A 7 who has worked on themselves and is conscious of their patterns is better at holding space for others, but sure enough the frustrated feeling of being held hostage will creep upon them, and you will notice their spirit leave the room as you continue to ramble on and on about your dire situation that you’ve already told them A DOZEN FUCKING TIMES BEFORE and they have already repeatedly told you how to fix… GOOD GOD, IF YOU EXPECT ME TO LISTEN TO THIS NOTHING-SAUCE THEN PAY ME, YOU DAFFY BITCH!!!… Moving on.

As an assertive-“positive” type, they offer solutions, which may not seem realistic or viable to some. The 7 believes that anything is surmountable, given their blessed “magical thinking” abilities. If you can’t get with their visionary suggestions, you’ll likely morph into their hapless, weepy acquaintance that they put on the shelf next to the discarded, moldy books they discovered on the side of the road when they were drunk, and the drab religious figurines their aunt gives them each Christmas. You’ll collect dust only to be brought out to play with when they’ve exhausted other options.

This “positive” thinking ability also means that if something really fucked up happens to them, they’ll usually recover. Even if they hole up for a while to lick their wounds, or spiral into their 6 wing, they’ll eventually find the benefit of the tragedy. You fucked their boyfriend, but you’re also their mom? That’s ok, they’ll turn it into their Jerry Springer debut, and they’ll look hotter than you on television. You banned them from a social group? They’ll create their own group and it will be even funner and more interesting than yours. Or, if they’re more evolved, they’ll just move on as if you never existed. You cannot defeat a 7, because they’ll find a way to bend reality to make anything work for them. The only person who can defeat a 7 is themselves.

Because 7w6’s are a double head type with a line to another head type (5), they can often feel like they don’t know enough. In fact, they can feel spectacularly stupid. A core 6 will make sure they understand the rules, know what the experts think, what the group thinks (or the group they simp) as a way to fend off the worries of being a dumbass. A 5 will become a quietly arrogant expert as the “competency” head type, and over-learn into total abstraction. When a 7 feels a bit ‘tarded, it can fuel their internal gluttony and they might immediately move into “doing” something about it, without thinking it through. They might buy a ton of books (and not read them), or sign up for a bunch of classes (but not show up for half of them). It can also cause them to retreat into their line to 5 (obsessively studying) or access their 6 wing (seeking out expert opinions), or just flee the experience entirely by brushing it off with a joke, or switching lanes to chase another pursuit or distraction. YOLO.

7’s can unravel into unhealthy levels when they feel suffocated, trapped, stifled or as if their prospects have been cut off. This can happen when there are too many responsibilities being piled on them, or when they feel as if under perpetual house arrest because of their circumstances (the wife, kids, job, weather, too many obligations, inadequate options in their dominant instinct). They’re not usually nine-to-five, rise’n’grind types and the workforce tedium can bring out the self-destructive urge to escape existence via drugs, booze, sex, distractions and stirring up chaos. 7’s, especially with an additional frustration fix (1 or 4), can devolve into a state of despair and decadence by being forced to be part of the proletariat. They might abscond responsibilities or lash out at people for taking up their time or energy; becoming almost hysterical about their boundaries and me-time.

7’s are also often the “party animal” or flamboyant type; flitting from scene to scene, rarely establishing anything truly meaningful outside of a select few connections. If you wound or disappoint them they might lob you off, as they have many other tantalizing social options to choose from. They have a live and let live attitude, and usually don't care all that much if people disagree with their opinions or beliefs, unlike the core 6. Often 7’s gravitate toward other 7’s or 7-fixers, as there’s a shared understanding that they can maintain the friendship without constantly checking in or seeing each other every week, which can be difficult for other types to fathom.

Known as a “selfish type” 7’s can be seen as narcissistic, especially from the view of a superego (1, 2, 6) or attachment (3, 6, 9) type, because they’re living life on their own terms and not abiding by the Matrix commandments or limiting beliefs. Life is to be enjoyed, experienced, ravaged, fucked from behind. Rules are for losers. 7’s aren’t limited by your mortal belief systems and structures, *insert evil laugh.* The 7 doesn’t care what you do, so long as you don’t get in the way of what they’re doing or want. If you get in the way of a 7’s passion or enjoyment, watch out.

7’s, maybe more than any other type, enjoy playing pranks and messing with people. Depending on their wing, instinctual stacking and fixes, you’ll find yourself with a devious pixie who likes to stir things up for their own amusement, a chaotic neutral character, or a gleeful demon who exacts revenge in the most amoral of ways. They like having a stockpile of wild stories to whip out like a party trick, self-indulgently musing at their collection of peccadillos and antics.

Because 7 has a line to 5 (the other head type), it makes the 7w6 one of the most “heady” of the types. Having a “line” to another type means it has access to aspects or behaviors of that type as a means to evolve or devolve. When 7 goes “line to 5” they can burrow into an interest and withdraw in order to feed their head. It can make them more introspective, focused on absorbing and fully comprehending details, refining, synthesizing and whittling versus their usual expansive, superficial gathering of information approach. It can also make them go into hermit-mode, becoming unusually abstemious, avoiding people and evading responsibilities in service of whatever their interest is because life “out there” just isn’t doing it for them. They’ll avoid the soirees and meet-ups because they’re disappointed and would rather get their juice from books or Reddit, or create something all night in their bedroom. When healthy, a 7 can apply all of this to mastering a skill or seeing through the actualization phase of an obsession. However, 7’s may go 5 mode when they’ve exhausted themselves escaping, running and devouring. They have nothing left to give or take, and they must finally rest. This can be a terrifying experience to the 7 if they have unprocessed trauma, upsetting emotions or life things they’ve been avoiding. The enormity of it can crash down on the 7, hurtling them into horror and overwhelm. This experience can make them depressed, distressed, double-down on escapist behaviors, or God willing, they introspect and look for healthy ways to integrate and process.

When 7’s access their line to 1 (a frustration-competency type) when unhealthy, they can transform into unholy terrors, imperious and cavalier. They mutate from being easy going to perfectionistic and hyper-critical of themselves and others. Especially with a wing 6 and a line to 1, the 7 can be uncharacteristically Kareny. They can become controlling of others in their life and preachy about how to live when their circumstances are not mirroring the reality they desire: one that feels elastic, lively and fascinating. They might cut people from their lives for not living up to their standards (as wavy-gravy or new those standards may be), or clean up the mess in their lives by abstaining from alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling or whatever else they typically overdo.

When they are accessing both of their competency lines, and actualizing their interests, hobbies or theories instead of just shouting their latest madcap ideas at strangers, they can go into a hyper-disciplined state. This can cause them to proceed in an austere and controlled manner; cutting away the fat in their life (people, other interests, obligations) in order to bring their vision into reality. Their relationships, belongings or multitude of interests may begin to feel like prison bars, and they’ll have to go. Because it’s difficult to balance repressed hedonistic impulses with responsibility, eventually the 7 will wear themselves out in this mode. The sensation of being stifled ferments, and they may succumb to the urge to abandon this new lifestyle, in favor of reinventing themselves or discovering unfamiliar, delicious vittles. Of course, the idea is that we use our lines to integrate and balance ourselves, but for the 7 it may take many tangos before they find a rhythm they can dance to. If they find a renewable source of energy in one direction, balance fun with consistency, they can harness their demiurgical life force and make grand things materialize.

A main life pattern with 7’s is that they’re always trying to outrun the Devil. If they don’t face whatever it is they’re running from, the ubiquitous monster at their heels will become bigger and faster as the 7 gets slower and weaker. Often, The Universe will throw a monkey wrench in their bike spokes to force them to stop and reflect, as injury and ruin is often the only way to force a 7 to look inward and emotionally heal. If they refuse, and keep pushing and squirming and escaping, it will become increasingly difficult as they get older to overcome these patterns. They’ll run out of road, options and ways out.

The film “Red Rocket” (2021) by Sean Baker is a great example of this life path. “The Little Mermaid” (1989) is also a good example of the “grass is greener” mentality of the idealistic 7w6 who goes through Hell to get what they desire, only to find out it’s nothing like what they dreamed; it didn’t solve all of their problems and now they’re totally fucked.

7’s can seem horrifically impetuous and self-absorbed to other types. However, because their type structure is centered around possibilities, expansiveness, movement and lack of rules or restrictions, they also make for great cheerleaders. If you have a big dream, you’re better off floating it to your 7 buddy who will join you in the fantasy, cheer you on, make you believe in the power of you, and spitball solutions. When they’re happy and have the means, they’re also keenly generous with their resources, time and energy. When they have slowed down and genuinely allowed for gratitude and internal abundance, and allow themselves to experience discomfort, they can unlock true joy and satisfaction. Maybe more than any other type, they’re the ones most likely to want to see you thrive, without a hidden agenda. They love it when you follow your outlandish passion and dream the undreamable. Fuck the rules, Cindy! You are a rockstar!!!! Fuck the haters, Gary! Eat as many goddamn hotdogs as you want, Marsha! Yassss Queen! When 7’s put their powers of provocation to good use, they can inspire others, catalyze massive change in their loved ones, and lift the world with them on their seemingly nonsensical quest. They crack open the door to what is possible for all, and give permission to other types to unabashedly follow their aspirations and unconditionally love themselves, warts and all.

---

Social-Dominant 7w6’s often like to build social groups around their interests, and as they can have multiple interests, they can have multiple groups to flit between. Each group can serve its own purpose (“these are the friends I talk about Enneagram with, these are the friends I party with, these are my horror movie friends”, etc). They can seem like social butterflies - noncommittal, selfish and scattered. They can be aware of the social impact they might have, if only they narrow or combine what captures their attention into something cohesive and meaningful. What really juices them up is being able to find their special groups where they can push into, learn and expand on ideas, concepts, experiences, interests and build something exhilarating together. If they’re not getting that from you, you might not have a place at the table for too long. They’ll encourage you on your own quest, though, as they usher you out the door.

Self-Preservation-Dominant 7w6’s are less focused on curating their social circles around their activities but will still want things to be engaging. This might manifest in a strange assortment of pets, physical pursuits or objects, eating or creating weird food, doing bizarre things with their body or aesthetic. They might be the most responsible of the three instincts, and the most able to actualize their efforts in the physical world. However, Self-Preservation 7’s can indulge in overspending, buying useless shit, eating out or travelling alot, partying nonstop, fucking nonstop, daredevil activities and sometimes pushing the limits physically because what even is reality? What even is this body? More, more, more! Adreeennnaaaaaaaalliiiiinnnnnnnnne!!!!

Sexual-Dominant 7w6’s want fleeting, intense, devouring, pleasurable experiences - and if you don’t profusely sparkle or pique their interest, move along. They can also attract a lot of attention in their presentation - through dress, adornments and displays. They’ll draw people in like a mystical belly-dancer, mesmerizing their audience - but as soon as they lose interest, bye, bye! They’re perhaps the most hedonistic and provocative of the three instincts, and unless you’re able to continuously feed them juice and captivation, you’ll be left with nothing but the memories of the Sexual 7 to arouse and torment you forever. What never could have been… *sigh.*

Examples of 7w6’s: Joe Rogan, Tim Dillon, Theo Von, Parker Posey, Florence Welch, Danny Elfman, Sia, RuPaul, Miley Cyrus

7: Frustration, Positive, Assertive, Head

6: Attachment, Reactive, Superego, Head

Line to 5: Rejection, Competency, Withdrawn, Head

Line to 1: Frustration, Competency, Superego, Gut

Find out more about Enneagram Type 7 on the Goblins of Discord Youtube or get typed by Larissa

[linkstem]

Introject Ask Game!

1. What's your name and source?

I'm Blue from the The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords manga

2. What type of introject are you? (Fictive, factive, etc.)

I'm a fictive

3. How connected do you feel to your source?

All of it happened to me and stuff so like,,, really connected I guess. I think it really helped us as a system cause it can be interpreted as a really nice DID metaphor... Even though we had no idea we were a system when we read it

4. Do you have any exomemories? What's your favourite one?

I remember my whole sourcce but I dunno about a favorite,,,

5. What do you think of your source's fandom?

I FUCKING LOVE THESE GUYS

6. Do you have any sourcemates in your system?

Red, Green, and Vio!! There's some Zelda fictives from other games/aus I dunno if they count

7. Have you ever met any sourcemates outside your system?

We're friends with a BOTW Link and Zelda, and we know a Saria, we wanna meet more!

8. Have you ever posted/sent a sourcecall anywhere? Did it help you find sourcemates?

I never really felt the need to

9. What do you think are your biggest differences from/similarities to your source?

Uhh it's not really a difference cause I still did all that stuff but I kinda cringe looking back on our source cause I was really different when we first drew the Four Sword. I don't really know how to fight and stuff anymore too, so that kinda sucks

10. Do you like being compared to your source?

Yeah, I mean, that's me!!

11. What's your favourite thing about your source?

I guess the characters, feels kinda weird to call us that, but yeah! The five of us are my favorite thing about it, our interactions make us happy

12. What's your least favourite thing about your source?

FUCK THE GERUDO YOURE SO COOL BUT WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO RACIST FOR JUST STOP BEING RACIST

13. Any funny exomemories?

This one time Green was playing with paper boats in the water and Shadow pushed him in so we all had to jump in after him and try to pull him out!!

14. Does your appearance differ from your source's appearance?

I have more dirty blondeish hair than my canon hair, and the side part is styled kinda different? And I wear blue earrings!

15. What other role, if any, do you have in the system?

We're still figuring all that out, I think I might be a caretaker though.

16. If you could go back to the life you had in your exomemories/source, would you?

HAHA FUCK NO I have a super cool boyfriend and extended found family now

Seriously though? I miss the castle and stuff, if I could take him and all my other friends with me I would totally go back, Hyrule beats this place any day

17. Does this universe differ at all from the one in your exomemories/source?

Yeah theres fucking weird new technology and sland i DONT understand and there's a SEVERE LACK OF COOL SWORDS AND HORSES AND SHIT

18. What's your favourite clothing item/ accessory that the system owns?

I like our blue scarf!

19. Do you have any merch of your source?

We have Toon Link and Toon Zelda plushies...

20. Do you ever get homesick? If yes, what do you do to deal with it?

Not reallyy, I mean its better but I dont really dwell on it, the people matter more than the place and I have all the people

21. What songs remind you of your source?

Those Hyrule Lofi things are cool

22. What activities/things remind you of your source?

Playing Breath of the Wild? That kinda feels like cheating though

23. Do you like engaging with your source/ content about it?

Yeah!! Everyones so funny and sometimes fan stuff helps me remember things I forgot

24. Have you ever created content related to your source? (Art, fanfiction, etc.)

Yeah, our host likes to draw so we make a lot of drawings and stuff, I like doing whiteboards with our friends. We also used to "roleplay" before we knew we were actually just plural

25. How do you feel about doubles?

I mean, there's already four of me so I'm kinda numb to it, I've met other Blue kinnies and stuff, they're cool!

[abigailxiang]

If You Go Down in the Woods Today || Solo

Timing: March 10th, 2024, late at night.

Location: Outskirts of the West Rock Ridge State Park

Description: If you go down in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise. If you go down in the woods today, you'd better go in disguise. AKA Abigail ruins the Qiongqi's picnic.

Warnings: TW Blood, Gore.

Since moving from Boston to New Haven, it seemed that Abigail's entire life revolved around work. By day, she was working at the Divinity Library helping them translate and categorize Chinese texts, occasionally restoring the odd scrap or two. It was easy enough to maintain her cover profession when it was, in fact, something she enjoyed. The texts were often fascinating from a history stand point, even if the content was dull, and the near total independence she had with her job made it almost feel fun.

And by night, she did the job that she was truly born to do. Abigail would listen to police scanners and cross reference mentions of odd happenings on the local message boards while she ate dinner. Sometimes nothing would pan out and it would be a quiet few hours in the bunker, either digitizing the family texts or maintaining her materials.

Other nights would be exactly like this. After the rather... disastrous encounter at the restaurant with Sutton and the boy in the boat shoes, Abigail had spent the rest of her free afternoon tracking down a hunt. She had heard whispers of people going missing, of a man found horribly mauled. The state troopers thought it was a bear, or a wolf. But the message boards thought differently. And so did she.

Killing the engine of her motorbike, Abigail hid the vehicle under a camouflage tarp and threw a few stray branches over it. Hardly necessary, given the darkness, but still. It never hurt to cover your tracks.

And tracks were exactly what Abigail was looking for now. Picking her way through the forest, she walked with ease in the moonlight. Fangxiangshi never had to worry about the dark if there was even a glimmer of light and when her eyes fell upon the torn up branches, the mud pressed with giant foot pads too large for wolves or bears, the tracks may as well have glowed. Her spear thumped against her back as she followed the trail. She stepped deliberately into the tracks, digging her heel in to destroy the marks behind her. Better for the park rangers to think some bumbling idiot had wandered off trail than to poke around here.

Abigail trekked through the forest, ears pricked and attentive. If a monster came charging at her, she might not be able to see it, but she'd certainly be able to hear it. She kept her breathing even and slow as she moved, the familiarity of the hunt meditative. She had always found it easier to think on these hikes out to battle, because it kept her mind off the fact that she might very well be marching towards her death.

Right now, though? Abigail focused on putting one foot in front of the other. She did not particularly want to think about anything else besides the hunt at this current point in time. Because the thing that had been on her mind the most, as of late, was another hunt. Another creature. But one unlike any she'd been on before.

She sucked in a sharp breath, mentally kicking herself. No. She wasn't going to think about black eyes and horns and blonde hair. She was focused and she was calm and she wouldn't--

A rancid, foul scent wafted from upwind and Abigail's stomach clenched reflexively. No matter how many time she smelled the stench of death and flesh and blood, she would never get used to the first whiff. Steeling herself, Abigail's hand drew her spear and she held it at her side. She followed both her nose and the tracks deeper into the forest until the scent became almost unbearable. Her eyes darted around, trying to find the source until something dripped onto her shoulder. A dark, sticky smear spread across her black robes.

Abigail looked up, directly into the gaping, ragged stump of crushed bone and tendon that made up what had once been a human neck. The body hung upside down in the trees and Abigail grimaced at the outstretched fingers just above her head. Legs bent unnaturally in the branches of the trees and the hiking pants the victim had been wearing were shredded, as was the flesh beneath. Guts poked out from three large slash marks across the corpse's stomach, the contents dribbling down the victim's chest. It explained the smell, for one.

But it didn't explain where--

The Yaoguai descended from the tree, black feathered wings beating more quietly than any creature of its size should be. Years of training and honing her reflexes were the only reason that Abigail was able to dive out of the way from the giant beast that had descended upon her.

What should have been white fur was matted in blood and two curved, glittering horns protruded from its skull. A curved beak melted into the furred snarling face and body of a tiger, with massive wings spreading to pull it from the steep dive. The wings flapped, sending leaves and twigs flying through the air as it hovered above her.

"Wángbādàn." Abigail swore as her mind raced, mentally scrolling through the pages and pages of knowledge acquired by her ancestors. A Qiongqi. Gāisǐ de Qiongqi-- of all the monsters, it had to be a flying one. At least they were far from water. Qiongqi could control water creatures and the last thing she needed were drowned spirits returning to fight with it.

Her talismans would do nothing against this threat; there was nothing spiritual about this monster. And there was only one way of handling that.

The Qiongqi let out a noise halfway between a shriek and roar before diving again towards Abigail, talon-like claws appearing from the massive paws. Abigail dodged, launching herself out of the way with all the strength she could muster. The creature landed hard on the ground, talons embedded in the earth where she had stood only seconds before. She hefted her spear, preparing to swing, but the Qiongqi pulled its front claws from the ground with ease, tearing dirt and roots along with it.

She backed away, keenly aware of her surroundings. She would not be backed up against a tree or trip over a root. That was how a lesser Fangxiangshi would die. No, Abigail was a Xiang. And while she was only the eldest daughter of a youngest son, she would uphold the family honor.

Spear kept at the ready, she and the creature circled one another. The creature's yellow eyes watched her with more intelligence than any animal could ever have, waiting for her to strike. Abigail kept her composure before setting off the creature's trap.

She stabbed at the creature's front paw with her Qiang, the red tassels flashing through the air. The Yaoguai reacted with lightning speed, withdrawing the targeted paw and lashing out with the opposite. But, Abigail had expected as much. In a fluid motion, she raised the tip of her spear from where the paw had been and stepped towards the beast, her spear now positioned right at the breastbone of the Qiongqi. With as much power as she could muster, Abigail thrust the spear into the monsters body. A lesser blade would have skittered off the bone, but the Qiang had been built for her kind. The thick spearhead was just as much a bludgeon as it was a blade and it smashed through the bone and pierced into the creature's chest.

The Qiongqi let out a roar of pain and stumbled backwards, wrenching the spear from her grasp. Abigail grimaced. It was still alive. Of course it was still alive. And her spear was firmly lodged in its flesh.

Reaching for her belt, Abigail pulled the short sword she kept at her side for emergencies. This certainly qualified as an emergency. The Zhi Bei Da she wielded was far too short for her to defend with or for her to launch any kind of frontal attack. But, it was better than her staff. It was strong, but she had a feeling it would crumple against the yaoguai before her.The Qiongqi let out a shrill cry before charging at her, murderous intent filling its eyes.

Abigail feinted left before diving to the right in a tight tucked ball, feeling the monster's claws pass through the air over her body. She sprang to her feet in an instant, spinning on the ball of her foot to set the Qiongqi back in her sights. The momentum of its attack had taken it further forward than it had intended and its back was to her for a brief second.

That was all the opportunity she needed.

Without a word, Abigail sprinted towards the creature and, when she was a few scant feet from colliding with its side, she leaped into the air. Her sword slammed down into the back of the creature. Blood welled up around the sword blade and, when the Qiongqi screamed in pain, it sprayed across her face. She grunted, blinded by the blood, but kept her grasp firm. Using her weight, she began to pull the blade through muscle and tendon, sawing through flesh towards the spinal column.

The beast's efforts intensified, spurned on by pain, but Abigail continued to pull the blade and then, suddenly, the monster fell to the ground.

The Qionqi's legs gave out from under it and the monster's weight pushed the spear deeper into its body. Unable to hold itself up, the Yaoguai impaled itself on her sword with a final gurgling gasp. She held her position, counting in her head until she was satisfied that the monster was truly dead.

Still blinded by the blood in her eyes, Abigail stood up and withdrew the sword from the Qiongqi's body. It wasn't difficult, she could feel the body eroding beneath her already, the flesh turning to putrid ooze. She mopped the blood from her face with the back of her hand and grimaced as bones emerged from the ooze, pockmarks beginning to appear in the white.

She extricated herself from the melting corpse, ignoring the way the mess clung to her boots and robes. She retrieved her spear and gave it a cursory glance. Not even bent. Abigail slid her Zhi Bei Da into its scabbard before letting out a long breath.

She watched the Yaoguai's corpse bubble and seethe until nothing but a dark stain of evil remained on the ground before her. Abigail pulled a yellow piece of paper from her pocket and tossed it onto the ground, the sullied earth erupting into flames.

Abigail's eyes watched the holy fire as it cleansed space and she couldn't help but wonder. Could she have done what she did if the Qiongqi had stared at her from behind blue, nearly human eyes?