#sounds more like a fallout song title than a ship name

[nottoofondofgaypeople]

The Most Important Polycule

The one that started it all. Irena is a poor girl who has run from everywhere she's known. All that she knows about people and how to be one is from watching, and she's usually content to just bounce around wherever she does, until she lands in Phoenix Drop, a village so down on their luck she can't help but want to help them.

She doesn't officially take the lord position for quite some time, but she starts using her strange random skills she learned from drifters and wanderers to help these people. This naturally brings her to Garroth, the former head guard, who's keen on keeping her safe because she's just a very kind person. Garroth quietly thinks she'd make a good lord, but he never wants to push her to that.

Laurance is introduced in almost the exact same way. I mean it. The full head of hair, obnoxiously green eyes, the so called Cassanova of Meteli. The most flagrantly bisexual man. Laurance is the first person to show outright and very direct interest in Irena, which she's never experienced. Most people are very subtle about it, or don't express it at all because she's well. She's kind of weird. And doesn't always get what they're saying. She's actually just autistic and doesn't know how love works because nobody's explained it in a way that makes sense to her. And Laurance doesn't quite get what her vibe is but she's really fucking pretty, and also not afraid to give him a piece of her mind but in a light hearted way.

A lot of Irena's early interactions have her express herself in rather comedic ways, like she's super witty, because most of the people she learned from were bards and con men. She can be off-putting to some, but to Laurance? A girl who he can say romantics to and she'll respond with some cheeky retort that isn't an outright rejection? And she's beautiful and could maybe beat you in a fight?? Irena is the girl of Laurance's dreams.

And Laurance is always a fiercely dedicated person. He's known Irena for three weeks, and yet he'll still go into the pits of hell by her side. Laurance has read so many romantic poems and stories, I imagine that ancient Greek literature still exists in this universe, and he's read the tragedies of men who thought they could walk through hell and back safe and sound. He knows that Orpheus always turns around to see if Eurydice is there, but he's confident that they won't have to do that. He's confident he'll walk out of hell hand in hand with her.

No, what happens to them is worse. We all know the story. In order to save the life of one of his closest friends and the life of one of the most mystifying people he's ever rapidly fallen in love with, Laurance actively and willingly sacrifices himself. Irena returns to Phoenix Drop days later and when she finds Garroth at the guard station, she just collapses into his arms and begins weeping.

He's caught her crying before, but never like this. She's never completely fallen apart. He doesn't even know what happened, and she's too wracked with guilt to say anything at first. She knows how Laurance felt. She doesn't know what love is exactly supposed to be, but she knows what it looks like. She's seen people fall in love by staring at one another from across a fire pit. She could tell on day two that Laurance was falling hard and fast, and she was honestly scared the same might be happening.

Now she can't even bring herself to admit it out loud because he's gone, and in her eyes, it's her fault. Oddly enough, once she's able to admit some of what happened, omitting certain details about the nature of her and Laurance's relationship, Garroth is actually able to empathize with her. He isn't very direct at the time, but he gives her advice on how to use her grief as a motivator. Laurance sacrificed himself for her sake, and he would want her to keep moving forward.

Content Warning (y'all knew this was coming): Torture

What ends up being a brief period of time without Laurance, only about two months or so for the Overworld, is far far longer in the Nether. Laurance was planning on dying a warriors death, but after he suffered a nearly killing blow, he was kept alive, and dragged back to The Shadow King's castle. The Shadow King is only a phantom at this point, a pitiful version of his former self. But conscious enough to give orders, and to allow Gene to do what he wanted with this Shadow Knight. Let him prove himself.

So Laurance gets tortured. A lot. And is forced to become a shadow knight without dying. Which the Shadow King didn't even think was possible?? How tf did he fuckin do that, fuckin wizard. The entire process is unbearably painful, and Laurance's only solace are memories of Irena, some other prisoner he gets to talk to on the other side of the cell wall, and oddly enough, memories of a guard he hadn't seen in... years. At his lowest moments, Laurance wishes he could see Garroth, wonders where he is, what's happening in his life, if he managed to get the head guard position he rightfully deserved in some thriving village.

It's the last persons name he starts crying that finally breaks him. Laurance starts thinking about his family, about everyone he's lost, everyone he's going to lose is he dies here, and everyone he might lose if he somehow makes it out alive. The existence of shadow knights is contradictory by nature, and it's starting to break Laurance down. He starts to lose his sense of self. It's only when he weeps at the memory of a young boy finding a wounded wyvern in the woods that something finally happens.

Within seconds the wall is broken into, Laurance gets grabbed, and he's suddenly flying through the Nether in his best friends mouth. And going through the open rift between realms? One that was forcibly opened with the life essence of an immortal under dire circumstances? Laurance was not pretty when Irena and Garroth found him. He was malnourished, a little too pale, so many scars, his hair was all fucked up, and when they first found him, he just wasn't breathing.

Eventually Zoey is able to get his condition stable, but Irena refuses to leave his side until he wakes up. Laurance is out for a few days, and she's dedicated to being there when he wakes up. He has to. If he dies, then both his death and Ungrith's are her fault, and she can't let it end like that. He has to wake up. He has to.

When Laurance finally wakes up, he only notices he's blind because he can hear Irena's voice but can't see her face. But he can feel her hand in his. She's alive. His sacrifice wasn't meaningless because she's still alive. This is the point that we really get the ball rolling, and the point that I take the canon story out to the back alley to be violently beaten to death.

When Laurance desperately confesses his love to Irena, she remains quiet. She listens, and only when his breathing starts to even and the panic has subsided a little does she simply mutter the words "I missed you too Laurance."

"Would you say you loved me?" She has to think for a minute. Lots of people have tried to quantify love to her, explain how it feels or what it looks like, and despite best attempts, Irena still struggled with the concept. But when she sees Laurance's beaten form nearly crying, iron grip on her hand, and the weariest smile on his face, she sort of just gets it. Like it's the most obvious thing in the world that she loved him from the first back and forth they had while walking to Castor's house. Suddenly she can see the appeal of spending all her time around another person.

"I suppose I do."

As for Garroth falling for Laurance, I've covered this on my main blog twice before so I'll simplify it here. Laurance has repeated nightmares/night terror related to his experience in the Nether, and when Garroth is comforting him after one, he realizes this fool of a guard he met in the academy all that time ago is still taking up so much space in his mind.

He realizes it's love, and starts freaking the fuck out because Garroth?? Loves two people?? And one of them is a man???? What the fuck is going on??? Unlike my previous musings, there's a lot more time dedicated to this. Laurance's recovery is slow, and while Zane does interrupt this time, when he's gone there's even more time for Garroth, Irena, and Laurance to all just sit with these emotions.

(Trust me I have a lot to say about how I'm handling Zane and what he does to the story in this rewrite, but that is an essays worth of a post unto itself)

Maybe talk about them with their loved ones. Obviously Garroth doesn't talk to anybody at first, but Irena might go to Zoey. Tell her how she's feeling and Zoey has a faint ache in her heart because she still can't bring herself to admit she feels that way about Irena. Laurance talks to Cadenza about how happy Irena makes him, and how much he wants to share that with Garroth. She nearly whacks him over the head and tells him to just fess up to them already, stop talking to her about it when he clearly understands how he feels. Laurance always does, he's just got a lot of room for improvement in communicating it.

And one day when they all manage to have a day off, Laurance sits the two of them down at the docks and the three of them just talk. He spills his guts to them, tries not to be too emotional about it, fails miserably, and they just sort it all out. No need to hold it in, no need for Irena to deny them this time, and even if Garroth faintly thinks this is a waste of time at the start, when Laurance very directly says that he's in love with Garroth, that opinion very quickly changes.

Irena freely admits she doesn't have a lot of experience with love or relationships, but she knows that she feels love for both of them, and she'd like to try something. Even if it's quiet. Even if they have to hide it so Zane doesn't try to use it against them. She wants to try. And well, Garroth really can't say no to them. He's still faintly terrified of being emotional and vulnerable with people, even though he's already been this way with both of them. He's still so paranoid it'll get them hurt.

But he'll learn to let down his guard for them. They're worth it.

[waywardsou2]

Oh this is fun! Imma tag my writer friends at the end because this is going to be so interesting!

Here we go!

14...wow that is a lot more than I thought (how many of those are unfinished tho lol)

I tired getting into real whump like going deep into it and actually formulating it well, which...I tried but it didn't last too long

Deadpool and Wolverine is where most of my interest was based for a while in terms of writing. But more recently it's become Arcane

Only 3, my writing goes through fluctuations depending on the hyper fixation so I haven't had much difference in fandoms recently

5. DeadClaws was a big one for me for a while but Jayvik has stolen my heart most recently

6. Bucky Barnes was a big one for me even though I never ended up writing much for him. And now recently Jayce and Viktor (obviously)

7. Yes, Arcane was a new one for me. I don't count Deadpool and Wolverine because that is technically Marvel

8. So far my fic You and Me and The Music I make which is almost finished has meant the most to me to write. It's been a hug comfort honestly

9. Again, You and Me and The Music I make has made me extremely happy, it's all fluff which is something I never do. It has been so uplifiting

10. Welp I have a habit of not finishing my works (so many WIPs collecting dust right now) but when I finished You and Me and The Music I make I know I'll feel so amazing about it

11. I feel like my Summer of Bad Batch prompt challenge works were the hardest mainly because the hyper fixation died half way through which made it difficult for me to continue, but I did get it done in the end

12. Probably my one-shot series, because it was just shit posts here and there of smut. So it wasn't anything that big

13. Shortest was: My post movie head canon one, mainly because it was two chapters and it was just very basic

Longest was: Was Lost but never gone which was one 5 chapters (incomplete) at 15k words already

14. None just my general playlist but when I started You and Me and the Music I make I made a playlist specifically for that ship with songs that were actually included in the fic

15. The Sun will Set on Another Day and I will Still Sit in my Cage, which is super fucking long but it felt right? Idk it was just stupid for me to try and figure out how to name this one I ended up going with a fallout boy song title (LMAO)

16. "Fuck you" "Do it yourself, coward" was pretty funny but I also like You and Me and The Music I make, just coz it's sorta romantic? And I'm a sucker for romance

17. Tbh none of my opening lines particularly stand out to me...I find it hard to write good eye catchers, I mainly focus on the body content but since I'm in love with You and Me and The Music I make I'll have to pick that one

Viktor tuned out the methodical tapping of his shoes and cane working in tandem across the polished floors, he was well adjusted to the sound by now. The day was at its end and his bones had begun to creak. The hallways felt cavernous in the black with him unable to see the expanse of the celling or the depth of the hall. It only stretched out into more darkness.

It think it's nice and descriptive, sets the tone

18. I haven't finished any of my workssss I don't really have one

Their presence was the only thing that brought the other peace.

That's all I've got really

19. ...I suck at writing dialogue...so this was a struggle

“Just hold onto me, I won’t let you fall, and if you need to stop we will. Just…try this for me?”

^^^ This was just really sweet, it was so caring and kind in context. Litteral tooth rotting fluff

20. I thought this was pretty funny but I'm not really a comedian

"I will slice your dick off if you don't stop" "Oh kinky" "Fuck you"

21. In Lost but never gone the characters kinda ended up writing themselves. It was very interesting, enjoyable, but definitely an experience

22. I sometimes write in a dedicated notebook if I don't have my laptop on me. But I only use word and them I post on AO3 afterwards

23. Just the brainstorming stage for all of my works, when the idea pops into my head and I realise I can write it

24. No? Do people do that lol

25. I don't really have anything in particular I do. I usually just stop writing and switch to art for a while (I don't always have a choice) and then come back to writing when I feel the inspo again. It's weird

26. Yeah I made some art, though it wasn't very good

27. I took part in 3, I only completed one all the way to the end and abandoned the other two. I also created my own but I haven't participated in that

28. My friend DM and Emrys for being my biggest inspiration and supporters, for giving me ideas and being my beta readers. I would also thank a few of my discord servers for entertaining my bullshit

29. I want to finish You and Me and The Music I make because I genuinely think that will be the only WIP I can finish lol

30. More Jayvik fics...pfft that's literally it. I love them so much I want to keep writing for them

As for my writing friends

@desired-misery @bunnwis @emrys-study @fionajames @kybercrystals94

A slightly revised version of last year's questions! Two ways to play: Reblog and have your followers send you numbers, or answer the whole list!

How many fics have you worked on since January?

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)

How many fandoms did you write for this year?

What ships captured your heart?

What characters captured your heart?

Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?

What fic meant the most to you to write?

What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

What fic was the most difficult to write?

What fic was the easiest to write?

What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?

What were your go-to writing songs?

What was the hardest fic to title?

What's your favorite title of the year?

Share your favorite opening line

Share your favorite ending line

Share your favorite piece of dialogue

Share your funniest line

What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?

If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

How did you recharge between fics?

Did you create fanworks other than fic?

How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)

If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

What's left on your to-do list for 2024?

What would you like to write next year?

[redteabaron]

direwolves - prophecies of the starks

If all the direwolves signify something about the starks' endgame - 

Grey Wind (we’re all just dust in the wind; dust to dust ashes to ashes; dust or ashes scattered in the wind) Signifying that for all of Robb’s achievements and beginning strides into an independent north he could still die and will. He becomes this titan that moves across the board during the rebellion that Tywin cannot combat on his own. IIRC grrm said that Robb was winning much more quickly than he had originally anticipated and would have won if not for the Red Wedding (or that he had to be killed or he would have won, something along those lines). Grey Wind has perhaps the most tragic significance, imo. Robb becomes a heroic figure representing justice and freedom for the North - but heroes are still mortal and they can still die. And he can, and so he does. He was doomed all along. 

Summer (all of Westeros fears the return of winter, and prospers in summertime. “Oh you sweet summer child, what do you know of fear?”) Bran is the first of the Stark children to be victim to power and thrones and the first who knows that fear. If he does sit on the throne of the 5/6 kingdoms (look I hold out hope Dorne gets their independence too okay) he will represent the possibility of a new age (discarding the idea of Targaryen only rule but hopefully not with an elective monarchy or a terrible small council). He may not literally bring with him summer but he will at the very least represent the hope for prosperity and compromise that hadn’t existed otherwise; a wiser, more compassionate age. (Bran the Benevolent sounds a hell of a lot better than Bran the Broken) 

Nymeria (the original warrior Queen Nymeria led ships of her people fleeing Valyrian slavers and the fallout over the attack against the dragonlords in search of a new homeland, who married Mors Martell and established the domination of House Martell.) Maybe Arya’s endgame will be found in the Riverlands. She has a lot of threads that lead her back there (calling herself Cat, connections to water, reflecting Catelyn’s need for vengeance, Nymeria being the one to pull Cat’s body from the river, Nymeria still being in the Riverlands building a wolf pack), and Queen Nymeria only set sail to current day Dorne because her people and she needed somewhere to settle. Queen Nymeria burns their ships after they do and says that “their wanderings have come to an end”. That...doesn’t exactly track with Arya just fucking off for places unknown for no reason. Arya already had to wander (and on a ship to Braavos with the name Nymeria) - has she not already wandered enough due to danger? Maybe her endgame as with Queen Nymeria is meant to signify an end to her wandering and the danger she’d fled from for the sake of herself (and her people; perhaps Arya is meant to oust the Lannisters and Freys from the Riverlands - and be Lady Paramount of the Trident; maybe she doesn’t need to marry or have babies since that isn’t her dream - hopefully Roslin and the child survive). (And if Sansa is meant to be Ned’s heir in spirit of the North, then maybe Arya is meant to be Cat’s heir of the Riverlands because I’m not so sure Edmure will be spared in whatever is to come).

Lady (that Lannister woman shall never have this skin, Lady’s bones remain in Winterfell) Sansa will at the very least be the Lady of Winterfell, if not Queen in the end - she is the Key to the North; her endgame lies in her home, because part of her (Lady) waits for her so they can be made whole once more (I am stronger within the walls of Winterfell). The only way she’d likely end up as the Lady of Winterfell and not the Queen is if Rickon will take the throne after he’s of age and ready (thereby still at the very least making her queen regent). But Lady’s end remains in Winterfell, Sansa’s will be found there no matter what. 

Shaggydog (I have a short meta about the possibility of Rickon being the asoiaf equivalent of the Max from Where The Wild Things Are, here ) but a shaggy dog is a funny story of which the punchline is essentially absurd or pointless. Because of that it is possible that Rickon’s whole point is to be brought back only to die abruptly with the succession crisis being built in Stannis and Davos’s POV. Maybe his whole point is just a gotcha at the audience and Stannis and Davos. IIRC believe D&D wanted to kill off Rickon much earlier and GRRM said he had a big plan for him - so it could be that Rickon’s ‘punchline’ is something different or he was trolling, idk. But, going off on an optimistic limb - which in this fandom, lol sure ok me sounds great - maybe Rickon’s punchline is that because he’s a lordling being raised by a wildling he will have to be a KITN at some point but we won’t see it; rendering the succession anticlimactic or a joke on Stannis who won’t live to see it and on us who won’t read it at the end of asoiaf because it’ll be a ways off. Which does sound absurd. Little wild Rickon ending up as a king of who we won’t see ruling or really having any immediate significance to asoiaf despite the tension? Maybe. Who’s to say. Rickon is the punchline, but of what, idk (I’m being optimistic in that his joke is that he’s named king but we never read about it and it fizzles out to have no significance in the immediate storyline, if only so Rickon survives.)

Ghost (the manifestation of a dead person, a soul or to give up the ghost (die)) Maybe Jon is a ghost at the end. Perhaps, as with many ghosts who haunt people/places/things Jon will be the last of the immediate Targaryen line, and he will still refuse the name and title; he will be their ghost. There, but not tangible, a vague impression of a once living lineage. After all that Rhaegar did to ensure The Prince That Was Promised, the third head of the dragon, the song of ice and fire - Jon throws it away. He chooses to be their end, their ghost; the last vestiges of them that might still exist but does little else for the Targaryens themselves. Perhaps his ‘exile’ or punishment is seen as such from the south, but the north welcomes him back under the tongue-in-cheek idea that he is being exiled, but remaining with the Starks, with Winterfell, with family. 

Jonsa content below because by now you should hear my clown shoes squeaking a mile away

And if Sansa is meant to be Jenny of Oldstones in realtime (there’s tons of meta out there about this so I’m not going to go into it but I suggest this one if you want; probably one of my favorite meta pieces about this: this one by butterflies-dragons), taking in all of the parallels and references we have that may suggest so (that we may be seeing history repeat itself with a less tragic, perhaps a kinder, scenario of Duncan and Jenny). 

High in the halls of the kings who are gone Jenny would dance with her ghosts The ones she had lost and the ones she had found And the ones who had loved her the most

Is Jon her Ghost in a castle of all the ones they’d lost?  

They spun her around on the damp old stones Spun away all her sorrow and pain 

 And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave Never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave

Does he stay, her Ghost, with his Lady in this place that they never want to leave again?

[ckret2]

So I’ve got a Spotify playlist consisting of the compiled contents of 81 different Alastor-centric playlists, like I just copied the contents of every single playlist I could find with no cultivation, no filtering, and no censoring. The one limitation I put was no duplicates of the same song—although multiple versions of the same song off different albums was allowed.

And since then I’ve been listening to this all-packed-together playlist on shuffle. It’s brought up several comments/questions. Highlights include:

- To every single person that includes a romance song with lines like “baby you’re my angel” or the like: are you a Radiodust shipper actually referring to Angel, or are you a Charlastor shipper referring to Charlie’s “fallen angel” heritage?

- One of you included an entire creepypasta story about the devil talking a man into killing his ex-wife and her lover as part of a 500-step-long plan to conceive the Antichrist and I’m not quite sure why it was on an Alastor playlist but I appreciate the characterization of the devil in it. I guess a creepypasta is kind of a radioplay of sorts? Maybe more Alastor playlists should just have random radioplays mixed in.

- To the person who included half a Kidz Bop album on their Alastor playlist: I’m not judging, I just wanna know why. I want to understand. I really want to understand.

- I respect all you people that included song covers by Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox and I understand where you’re coming from, but like, if you’re not familiar with music genres from before 1990, I suggest you look up which genre a given PMJ cover is trying to emulate, because if you’re stuffing PMJ covers on a playlist specifically to make them “sound like” Alastor’s era or because you’re going for “songs Alastor would like because they sound like what he’s used to,” then a PMJ cover that makes a 1990s song sound like a 1970s song isn’t quite in the right neighborhood.

- There are different philosophies that go into making a character playlist. Some go “the genre has to fit the character’s era and/or personal tastes, whether or not the lyrics do.” Some go “the lyrics have to fit the character, genre be damned.” Some go “these songs were big/popular when I was into this character so that’s what I associated with them.” Some go “these songs are really out there for the canon character but fit my headcanons.” Some people may have totally different criteria I haven’t even thought of! Anyway the point is: when you mix over eighty playlists together, you get every single playlist-making philosophy mixed together, and it’s an exciting experience to listen to.

- And on that note: every single genre on the planet is on this playlist. We’ve got Britney Spears, we’ve got Vocaloid, we’ve got Thomas Sanders (we’ve got a LOT of Thomas Sanders), we’ve got My Chemical Romance, Two Steps from Hell, Barry Manilow, Oingo Boingo, Within Temptation, Madonna, Kesha, Hans Zimmer, ... we’ve got the poppiest pop, emo, metal, electronic, folk, rap, rock, movie soundtracks, TV soundtracks, classical, disco, country, KPop, Carrie Underwood, every single decade for the last 150 years... and I’m deliberately leaving out all the jazz, swing, electroswing, and musicals, because those are a given for Alastor. Obviously those ones dominate the playlist but it’s amazing how much variety there is outside them.

- I’m frankly amazed by how much of this playlist is Thomas Sanders and Bendy and the Ink Machine. Like. It’s a notable quantity.

- That said, actually the playlist doesn’t quite include every single genre. Like, for example: I can tell y’all want to lean into Alastor’s New Orleanian/Louisianan/Creole roots from how many songs I’ve seen that include words like voodoo, Creole, New Orleans, bayou, uhhhh The Princess & the Frog, etc... And yet aside from a few New Orleanian jazz artists so far I have crossed paths with very little Louisianan music compared to, say... Undertale songs. So here. Start with some Cajun, try some Mardi Gras songs, I’m not totally sure how much of this playlist is “actually from Louisiana” and how much is “other people making songs that they think are Louisianan” but try this one anyway, and once you’ve oriented yourself a bit dig in here. I wanna see ten Alastor playlists with one song that includes “Zydeco” in the title or album name, stat. Sure, we know Alastor’s all jazz and swing and musicals, but I sure don’t listen to only three genres, you probably don’t listen to only three genres, and Mr. Radio Guy Whose Public Title Includes The Word “Radio” Who Likes Bursting Spontaneously Into Musical Numbers probably listens to more genres than you and me combined, and those genres probably started with what was local & accessible & common around where he grew up.

- Then again I haven’t listened to this whole playlist yet, sometimes I put it on shuffle and sometimes I put it in alphabetical order to try to slowly work through it from top to bottom (I’ve made it mostly through the C’s) so maybe y’all hid the Cajun & Creole music down in the D’s. But lemme say this: while randomly shuffling through the playlist, I’ve randomly run into multiple Irish drinking songs & shanties, and randomly run into zero zydeco, so like from those of you who follow the “music that sounds like what the character listens to” philosophy of playlist-making, non-jazz Louisianan music could use a lil more representation. If there’s room for twenty-six Billie Eilish songs there’s room for one BeauSoleil song. (I’m partial to “L’ouragon,” but you do you)

- Somewhere in this massive mixed playlist there are three parody medleys of Disney songs rewritten to be like “here are grimdark edgy lyrics about all of the terrible real-world things happening to the cultures depicted in these Disney movies!” and like, okay, I can see why that merits inclusion in an Alastor playlist, his big moment in the pilot was “take an optimistic song worthy of a Disney princess and rewrite it with grimdark edgy lyrics,” but those three songs still annoy the hell out of me because the specific way they frame the concept of their songs is that Disney movies/songs are “full of lies” and these songs reveal the lies. And then it’s things like... “Aladdin got captured and interrogated by the CIA,” which is definitely a thing that happened to a character living in an ambiguous time period that predates the existence of the United States, much less the CIA, much less the CIA’s meddling in the middle east, by several centuries. Disney was definitely lying about the reality of Aladdin’s day-to-day existence by not depicting American imperialism that predates America. Or “the characters in The Princess & the Frog have to deal with the fallout of Hurricane Katrina,” like, yeah, Disney sure is pulling the wool over our eyes by dishonestly denying the devastating consequences the 2005 hurricane had on 1920s New Orleans. Listen the lyrics are clever and all the things they discuss are real salient social issues but it still drives me nuts that the songs are framed like they’re revealing “lies” being told when half of the movies are taking place in (fantasy versions of!) time periods or locations where the issues they’re discussing didn’t apply, if they’d just framed that one line differently— Okay, okay, I’m finished, I’m done, I’ve got it out of my system

- Every single love song makes me go “are you imagining this song with a ship (and if so which ship) or do you just think Alastor would be into this song?” The question goes double for songs from the 20s/30s, because the odds that they added it to their playlist just because they think Alastor would like the song increases.

- On the other hand, if whoever added “A Formidable Marinade” isn’t a Charlastor shipper I will eat my hat. Also nice work on the gory cannibalism sex song.

- Every once in a while I’ll run into a song that makes me go, now how the heck did you end up on an Alastor playlist? Does this song line up with someone’s very specific headcanons and/or fanfic plot? Do they think Alastor would like this song? Did they happen to like the song and like Alastor at the same time and so they associate them with each other? Examples: “I Got You (I Feel Good)”, “iRobot” (is it the emotionlessness of being post-death?? do they headcanon that he’s got radio hardware replacing his guts?? is it a post-breakup ship song??), “Greensleves”, “Barbra Streisand” (the song, not the singer), “Jolene,” “The Last Steampunk Waltz,” “Seven Nights in Eire,” “Cruel Angel’s Thesis,” and the person who included half a Kidz Bop album, please, I just wanna talk—

- Every time I hear a song that includes the words “hell,” “sinner,” “smile,” or “radio,” I go, “Haha. Nice.”

- An incomplete list of songs that amused me for how on point they are: “Hotel California” (how often do you have a fandom where “Hotel California” is actually very blatantly fitting without having to twist through an extended & convoluted metaphorical interpretation?), “The Hunting Song,” “The Axeman’s Jazz,” and “Time Again”

- I sort of hate whoever put “Circus” by Britney Spears in their playlist and made me realize that lyrically it’s a perfect Alastor song because it is.

- *scrolls past six versions of “I’m Always Chasing Rainbows”* Haha. Nice.

- *scrolls past five versions of “It Don’t Mean A Thing (If It Ain’t Got That Swing)”* Haha. Nice.

- *scrolls past a song from Bambi* Haha. Nice.

- *scrolls past five versions of “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile”* Haha. Nice.

- *scrolls past eleven versions of “Sing Sing Sing”* Haha. Nice.

- What’s with those of y’all putting steampunk songs in Alastor playlists? Listen, listen: steampunk vibes are for Sir Pentious. Swing vibes are for Alastor. Don’t cross the streams. Take your steampunk songs and make Sir Pentious playlists with them. He could use more playlists.

- The playlist includes 39 songs that include “smile” somewhere in the title.

[davedimartino]

NEW THIS WEEK  8.03.09

I'm pretty excited as I write this, and I bet you would be, too!

Why? In about 10 hours, on Tuesday morning, I'll be at the dentist's office getting a root canal!

The down side? Maybe it'll hurt! The up side?  It may be more fun than listening to this week's new releases! Either way, sleep enters the picture!

 Modest Mouse: No One's First And You're Next (Epic) It's a great week when a budget-priced release of also-rans and B-sides by a "platinum-selling" "alternative rock" "band" is the hottest release, but with an album cover like this, who wouldn't want to pick it up? Featuring  "newly recorded" songs form the We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank and Good News For People Who Love Bad News sessions--Latin for what the hell does that mean?--and a couple of "rare" b-sides, this can only be a prelude for their long anticipated next real record, provisionally entitled We Like To Use Excessive Quotation Marks To Denote Irony Because Frankly It Disturbs Us That Some People Out There Are Waiting For Us To Record "Here I Come To Save The Day" And We Don't Want To--Featuring Johnny Marr! Honestly, I really do floss, so why am I here?

Gloriana: Gloriana (Emblem/Warner) Unlike Glorioski, their cult counterparts in Poland., Gloriana show every sign of perhaps making big in the American record industry! They meet all of today's contemporary standards! There are four of them, two guys, and two girls! They are physically attractive! One of them--Cheyenne Kimball, got her start as a star in an MTV reality series before releasing her first solo album The Day Has Come in 2006! She even sang at that year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! Their new album's product description notes that the group's "soaring four-part harmonies have been compared to music icons such as the Eagles and Fleetwood Mac"! Sadly, some suggest the comparison was made by a studio technician who noted that the actual waveform their music produced, when analyzed, looked more like a vacuum cleaner than the vocal work of such greats as the Eagles and Fleetwood Mac! As always, editing is everything! I love this stuff!

  The Hooters: Both Sides Live (Megaforce)  Time sure flies! These poor guys may as well have called themselves the Massive Knockers for all the good name recognition's going to do them; hopefully they can eat for free in restaurants bearing their name! But this two-CD set has got a lot of music on it: One disc recorded in Philadelphia in 2007 including such tracks as "And We Danced" and "All You Zombies,"  another disc entitled "The Secret Sessions" featuring much of the same material recorded in the acoustic format! Is it any good?  It's all every Hooters fan ever dreamed of! And check out the size of those melodicas!

  K'Jon: I Get Around (Universal Republic) One of the week's better albums here by Detroit R&B singer K'Jon--no relation to any condiment!--who many people first heard singing "Miami" on the 2Fast 2Furious soundtrack! He's making some noise now on the basis of his fab track "On The Ocean," and should appeal to fans of Anthony Hamilton and that whole "neo-soul" thing that was kicking around a few years ago. Considering the names of those no singles, it's no surprise he notes he's getting bugged driving up and down the same old strip! Friends don't let friends say "Gesundheit " in front of him!

  Tantric: Mind Control (Silent Majority Group) In many ways in the tradition of Saliva, Fallout Boy, Papa Roach, Days Of The New, Lifehouse, Fuel, Local H, Eve 6, Lit, Stabbing Westward, Staind, Clutch, Daughtry and…what? Oh, sorry, someone's at the door! Anyway, yeah, they still look cool!

 John Surman: Brewster's Rooster (ECM) Anyone who's followed British jazz since the mid-'60s--and I'm sure that's most of us!--has a soft spot in their heart for saxophonist Surman, who's consistently produced some of the most adventurous and forward-looking music in the genre. Much of his solo work for the prestigious ECM label has tended to veer toward Terry Riley-esque minimalism or more "traditional" classical works incorporating his bass clarinet;  this is his first conspicuous foray into the sort of jazz he recorded ages ago for the Deram and Dawn labels, and it's absolutely fabulous. Aided by the standout trio of guitarist John Abercrombie, bassist Drew Gress, and drummer Jack DeJohnette,  Surman, at 65 or so, probably has no opinion on the Eminem/Mariah Carey controversy!

 Julian Plenti: Julian Plenti Is…Skyscraper (Matador) This charming, upbeat and admirably textured record is actually the work of Interpol frontman Paul Banks, who apparently adopted the pseudonym because he was deeply ashamed by the record--well, I'm guessing--and also as a tribute to his favorite pink & white candy! It's the sort of album that's kind of tangential but that you might really get into if you heard it a lot--say like that Henry Badowski album on IRS back in 1981called Life Is A Grand..!. Hopefully the similarly ellipsis-inclined Mr. Plenti won't follow Badowski's example upon poor sales and withdraw "from music and public life," and instead get back to his good ol' band and start sounding like Joy Division again!

 Anjulie: Anjulie (Hear Music) She's from Canada, her music's been heard on The Hills and The City, and she opened for Jesse McCartney during his tour this year! She's the product of a Guyanese-Canadian marriage and has "exotic good looks"! What about you? Her debut single is called "Boom"! Talk about making an impact! I think she's quite talented, and would like to see her prosper! Help me, and, indeed, Anjulie, in our respective quests!

 Scott Hardkiss: Technicolor Dreamer (God Within) A surprisingly good album by the San Franciscan techno/trance dude who coincidentally is also a member of a group called Hardkiss! Here he makes actual music and songs instead of pressing buttons, going to the store for cigarettes, and coming back home to hear the new record he just made! It's bolstered by an excellent CD package, including the typical "being tempted by the wanton mermaid" imagery most of us have grown to love, and exciting tunes such as "Hey Deejay!," "Beat Freak," and the disturbingly titled "Interlude"! Furthermore, by not including a pretentious "u" in the "technicolor" part of this album's title, Scott has proven he's a real artist! I’m down with him, as they say!

 Mac McAnally: Down By The River (Show Dog Nashville) I think one of the major reasons that movie Gigli was such a conspicuous flop was because nobody even wanted to take a chance and pronounce its name wrong!

[moonshroooms]

Music Asks, cause I’m bored again

Found here should anyone like to have them! :3

*cracks knuckles and opens giant excel sheet of over 900 songs*

1: A song you like with a color in the title

Red Right Hand by Pete Yorn

Blue Lips by Regina Spektor (this song is fantastic go listen to it)

Jet Pack Blues by Fallout Boy

White Destiny by Ishida Yoko (aka Pretear Opening) (I don’t know why but this one just sounds so heroic

Black Horse and the Cherry Tree by KT Tunstall

 2: A song you like with a number in the title

Girl with One Eye by Florence and the Machine (my go-to angry song)

One More Night by Maroon 5

Perfect Two by Auburn (this one is so cute honestly)

Year 3000 (the Jonas Brothers version because lbh most of us heard it there first). I don’t know man the line “you’re great-great-great granddaughter is doing fine” just gets to me. It’s such a nice thought

 3: A song that reminds you of summertime

High School Never Ends by Bowling for Soup and Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepson

They’re just so fun to sing

 4: A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

Every Heart by Boa (aka Inuyasha Ending 4). I heard this song for the first time around the time some jerkass ‘stole’ my first kiss and I would try to watch it at the end of the episode while simultaneously trying to push the memory out of my head, and now whenever I hear this song that I love so much I remember me trying to push the memory out of my head which puts the memory right back in

 5: A song that needs to be played LOUD

…

Stronger Than You, Sans/Chara version mashup. Because I’m garbage and never get enough of it

 6: A song that makes you want to dance

1985 by Bowling for Soup and Boyfriend by Lou Bega

 7: A song to drive to

Sax by Fleur East

 8: A song about drugs or alcohol

Hotel California by the Eagles and Your Love is My Drug by Kesha!

 9: A song that makes you happy

Hawaiin Roller Coaster Ride from the Lilo and Stich movie. I don’t know this song is just so cute and fun

 10: A song that makes you sad

The Last Unicorn by America. Dude I don’t know this song makes me want to cry and scream into the forest “I’ve always believed in you unicorns!” like an idiot.

 11: A song that you never get tired of

The Steven Universe theme song

 12: A song from your preteen years

Louder Than Thunder by Devil Wears Prada

 13: One of your favorite 80’s songs

I…

Dude I don’t even know when my modern songs were made you expect me to know which ones – if any! – are from the 80s exactly? Erm *googles* OH!

Celebration by Kool and the Gang

 14: A song that you would love played at your wedding

Love Like You from Steven Universe. It’s sounds like a perfect romantic song and my family would be none the wiser that I’m complete fandom garbage and that lovely song I danced to was from a CaRtOo N u fOOLS

 15: A song that is a cover by another artist

Enchanted by Taylor Swift covered by Owl City

King of Wishful thinking covered by Letta

And Kokomo covered by the Muppets. That’s my jam

 16: One of your favorite classical songs

William Tell Overture, only because I don’t have a particular favorite classical song and I love to tap that one out on my fingers

 17: A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

Anything You Can Do by Tom Wopat and Bernadette Peters. This is the perfect duet song seeing as it’s a duet and it’s fun as hell

 18: A song from the year that you were born

*googles*

Oh! I know this one! Don’t Take the Girl by Tim McGraw

 19: A song that makes you think about life

Down to Earth fro Wall-E

 20: A song that has many meanings to you

Fireflies by Owl City

 21: A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

Penelope by Zak Waters (dude listen to this song it’s cute as hell it’s about a kid who had a crush on his babysitter and now that he’s older he’s like ‘yo girl I still like you where u at?’ and it’s adorable)

And Misty’s Song from Pokémon. This song was also cute as hell especially back when I was first absorbing anything Pokeshipping

 22: A song that moves you forward

Small Prayer/Chiisana Inori from Fruits Basket (aka the Fruits Basket end theme)

 23: A song that you think everybody should listen to

It’s Raining Men by the Weather Girls, Still Alive and Want You Gone from Portal, and I Ship It by Not Literally. Because they’re fucking hilarious

 24: A song by a band you wish were still together

Dude I don’t even follow the life of the SINGLE ARTIST I’ve decided where I like their voice and not just the song they happen to sing u think I actually know if any bands these songs are from broke up or if I even care if they’re back together or not? Naw. *rolls dice* Say My Name by Destiney’s Child. There. A singing group counts as a band right

 25: A song by an artist no longer living

I Have Nothing by Whitney Houston

 26: A song that makes you want to fall in love

A Thousand Years by Christina Perri and Enchanted by Owl City

 27: A song that breaks your heart

Don’t Take the Girl by Tim McGraw. This song man. What is it about country songs that are like, extra sad when they’re sad? They use just. Basic shit in everyday lives. They’re not like “oh ur hair falls perfectly and your laugh lit up the room come back to me I feel so alone everything’s dark” it’s got stupid shit like “remember when we spilled wine on the floor when we were drunk and spent the whole night laughing and trying to clean it up and made it worse and then we just put an ugly rug over the stain I miss nights like that” and it hits.

 28: A song by an artist with a voice that you love

A n y t h i n g by Owl City. He’s literally the only artist where I actually like his voice and not the song he just happened to spit out

 29: A song that you remember from your childhood

Mambo No. 5 by Lou Bega. I have distinct memories of sitting the backseat of my father’s car and going to the pool and that song playing. Also, the X-Files theme. Apparently my dad watched that when I was younger a lot, and I knew that theme before I’d ever heard of the show.

 30: A song that reminds you of yourself

I’m… not sure I have one. Usually I think of others or characters when I listen to music, rather than myself. Even with like, romantic songs or whatever, usually I imagine I’m the one singing to someone else, thus making them the focus rather than me.

WAIT

Want You Gone from Portal 2. Because I’m a spiteful little thing and I desperately want to sing this song at so many people