#sort of a psa I guess maybe idk

[ginnsbaker]

This chapter was so juicy omg lets get straight into it

Agatha literally embodies me 😂 everything shes said i’ve either said or thought. From her saying she never had faith in reader’s relationship with yelena to calling it a rebound. She’s exactly right and i’ll come back to those two quotes a little later. The other thing about sparky being a mastermind is something I genuinely thought earlier on i was like aw damn the dogs bringing them back together but I didn’t say anything and now i really wish i did cos same agatha same 😂

Im gonna speak about wanda briefly here and then I’ll come back to her affer. But in that whole conversation with agatha she’s very mature about the whole thing considering reader kissed her. She’s not getting excited about it out of respect for readers relationship(that’s already over but she doesn’t know that yet) shes also being cautious because of what happened last time with reader.

Im glad Valkyrie apologised and that wanda didn’t string her along honestly did not want another reader yelena relationship for lack of better words.

Vision is gone thank fuck for that he will not be missed.

Natasha. Quite possibly one of the saddest parts of the series. Nothing hurts quite like a friendship breakup between best friends. I said it last time and my views haven’t changed. Nat is supposed to be readers friend, while I completely understand why shes angry it makes sense yelenas her little sister and i get it but reader is also her friend. It a complicated situation because its very difficult to be neutral. Reader shouldn’t have cheated full stop. However, if we’re being realistic some could argue reader has been emotionally cheating since the start considering the love for wanda was always there. But back to my point this relationship should never have happened to begin with or at least not when it did. Yelena shouldn’t have pursued reader and reader shouldn’t have dated her either especially not without having the therapy that is so desperately needed. Im not blaming yelena or saying nat’s reaction is wrong because i truly understand both sides its just really sad that this is how its ended. Im not sure what your plans for nat are for once i genuinely dont have a clue.

I think its very ironic that at the start of this wanda didn’t really have that big a support group but now thats kind of the reverse because reader now has no one. I also think its very like idk what the word is “impactful” i guess that now reader’s lost everyone but wanda is still there for them.

Back to wanda. Idk how to feel because we know what happened to wanda last time they entered this sort of arrangement and i really don’t want it to again because she has made so much progress. On one hand i feel like she won’t let herself go back that far but the ones we love can be our weakness sometimes. And on the other hand it seemed different this time less aggressive like the way reader cushioned wandas head. But one thing I didn’t like was reader leaving with no aftercare i saw someone else say it and I definitely agree. PSA to everyone aftercare is so so so important okay? Good. And i also don’t like Wanda missing therapy because of this arrangement it feels like a step backwards (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing in terms of story writing cos like i said last time recovery is not a linear path and its really validating that you’ve included that)

And finally pietro. Oh dear god the anticipation is killing me. Ive been dying for chapter 17 and its almost here. He knows why wanda missed the sessions (or at least suspects) and i think hes got a picture of wanda in the hospital or maybe after he found her (im not quite sure who found wanda after she overdosed I don’t remember but uno what i mean💀) and hes gonna send it to reader maybe saying back off

I swear im in love with your brain youre incredible I can’t wait for chapter 17

-🧃

Reading your comments/thoughts is always a favorite habit of mine whenever I post an update. Like, srsly dude, I look forward to it.

There's something you highlighted that I did not even intended in the story: I think its very ironic that at the start of this wanda didn’t really have that big a support group but now thats kind of the reverse because reader now has no one. I also think its very like idk what the word is “impactful” i guess that now reader’s lost everyone but wanda is still there for them.

I guess that happened naturally. I mean, when you're maintaining a positive vibe in life and taking care of yourself in general, suddenly there's room for people in you life who also want to share the same outlook in life. You attract good energy. You're able to take care of relationships around you because you're in a good place. I guess that's what happened :)

Yes, aftercare is really important. R is neglecting herself, wasting away, so she really is incapable of thinking about another person's needs at this point.

My mind?? Look at your mind! Look at what you'll think Piet would do O_O

Once again, thank you! I super enjoy reading your points!

[tenderlambkin]

Playing Bloodborne and I was sort of on speedy autopilot while buying max consumables (cummmfpk moment)... so I'm now the owner of 38 hand lanterns... I guess if I get some rope the Doll can help me hang them all festive like? Maybe go spruce up Djura's tower before he pushes me off idk. Also PSA that wearing the hand lantern lowers your stamina replenishment. If you didn't already know that I bet you feel betrayed rn. Sorry for the phone pic. PS4 is a bitch about transferring screenshots without fucking with a usb stick.

[castlebyersafterdark]

"when you finish saving the world movie he's bi in that too, they just don't mention it in the movie, which is a shame ... his thing with the love interest is more cringe obsession than actual interest and it's awkward but honestly a couple scenes are cute cause HE'S cute but god it was not at all romantic so there's that ... Idk if HE is just awkward, his characters, or he's just really gay but I think it's funny that whenever he has a lady love interest he's just so damn weird about it. Other scenes aren't as awkward. It's endearing but also a little sus lol"

in Saving The World, his character was meant to be awkward and that was not a romantic relationship as anon said; he also mentioned that he had previously dated a boy as well as girls, which... if that's not blatantly telling the audience he's bi or at least questioning, what is? heaven forbid we need to have every queer character who comes out in movies saying 'i'm gay' or 'i'm bi' - not every queer character will be the same person so why would they all come out in the same way? let's not forget that queer characters are just... characters. they behave differently, their motives are different, their actions must reflect their thoughts. show don't tell! having someone say 'i'm bi' can be powerful, but its by no means the best way of portraying that, or the only way. far from it.

when comparatively analysing an actor's work it can be easy to forget that its not a finn wolfhard cinematic universe and each movie does not tell us something overall about finn except who he was when he accepted the role in that specific moment in his life. his character in saving the world was absolutely meant to be awkward, and finn was chosen cos he'd do a good job. i don't think that its a fair comparison to make to how mike behaves romantically, or how finn plays romance. he was bringing what was on the page to life, not showcasing his own romantic prowess lol

I think maybe I need to bite the bullet and watch this movie so I have informed context to further discuss it really deeply Even still, conflicting experience and viewpoint here - only mentioned in the audiobook or a blatant reference in dialogue? Guess I'll find out if I sit down and watch... eventually.

And yeah, I personally didn't mean to imply we need a PSA for every character that isn't straight and it's totally awesome and needed for there just to be all sorts of characters in things where it's just a part of them, normal like anything else - double-edged sword though where I was expressing a common thing I also see, where it's a frustration in character lore only learned via supplemental things, or interviews, and if an audience didn't pick it up because you'd only know if you knew the additional material - can you really blame people for not interpreting it that way? It's the same as book to film adaptations - do we count them as separate media or the same and you must apply all the lore and the source material and extras together or are all films stand alone?

For example, Will never saying he's gay but WE KNOW THAT if you watch the show (perfect example of show don't tell - though words do have power in the right story setting. Multiple things can be true). And in interviews they blatantly confirm it. But not everyone watched interviews or reads articles. We understand that from watching. Let's say an interview came out and someone from the show said "Joyce is bisexual by the way" and... ok? Word of god? Because the average watcher would NEVER land there and hey maybe she's been bisexual the entire time but why would we ever gather that?

This tirade is and was less about Finn's character in that movie and more a way to just riff on the topic of source material vs. supplemental material and complain at the conundrum of the ST stage play hahaha. I'll stop myself from getting into that can of worms again.

Back to FINN - agree that the Finn Wolfhard cinematic universe is a fun but flimsy concept. Maybe he gravitates towards certain roles, but roles are roles and acting is acting. I think he does have option and probably takes roles he can at least put himself into, relate to - I don't think he's played too much that's strayed too far from his own persona - but that doesn't AT ALL mean he's playing himself on screen. He's doing what the role calls for, but he's also injecting insight into these portrayals. The romance is going to follow what the directing and the writing calls for. Chemistry is it's own topic. But we've seen comparisons across media - when his characters lie, their faces look like Finn's when he lies, because we've seen evidence of that, just for an example. Unless directing calls for something different. All over the place with this one! I don't know. It's always interesting - those lines between character and actor, acting and injecting your personality on screen, getting lost in a role.

[imagine-fight-write]

BANANA FISH REVIEW - Vol 1., PART 8

Hello, Everyone!

Banana Fish time!

#it's been too long

As always, remember Banana Fish has no real chapters, so who knows when this post will end. #it will be long

Also, I will get sidetracked. That is a given.

And there's spoilers, I guess.

So last time, we found out who the poor, mysterious banana fish guy is who Ash found wayyy back at the beginning & kicked off the plot.

#reporting can be deadly kids

We also found out what banana fish is! (Mostly).

#that's from Batman: The Animated Series #it's the best

But not how banana fish got started, who made it, or what it was doing over in Vietnam & how Ash's poor brother Griffin got involved. Or even the full effects of what it does to you & how. #but maybe we don't want to know

#biting your nails is a terrible habit

Or why Dino #the murdering worst

# I'm not forgetting those kids he casually murdered #and they're prob. not the first #not to mention Ash

Ahem, or why Dino the murdering worst is involved & what he plans to do with banana fish #apart from something terrible, because he's the worst.

Also, I forgot to mention, on pg.75 when Charlie is like, "well, um, Max (your contact) is in jail." to Eiji & Ibe, he blushes in this adorable, totally related way.

#it's important

Now in the next scene, pg. 83, Eiji & Ibe enter the police station to talk about contacting a gang for their story about youth gangs.

#were they going to compare / contrast their own youth gangs?

#who I know exist because of Fruits Basket & YuYuHakusho.

Eiji fan-girls over being in an actual police station. Or maybe an American police station? #unclear #it's so cute

He quotes Kojak, (not this exact quote tho)

#It's true!

but don't smoke kids, it's bad for you #PSA announcement

#my boxing coach resembled this guy ; D

Eiji also thinks Inspector Jenkins looks like Columbo, another popular police detective story at the time.

#which I've also seen & it is glorious #so is Kojak

#we never see his wife but he talks about her all the time it's so adorable

I don't think Jenkins looks that much like Columbo tho, apart from untidiness. #must be the coat

On the next page we're introduced to Inspector Norris, who's not important except to point out, if you haven't noticed Yosida's tendency for face-sameness, you might notice it here.

#but who cares, I can't draw that well #tho I can draw

#I blame the manga industry which drives artists on terrible schedules #please give them more time

for their health & for better art!

Then I relate to Eiji so hard, because everyone thinks he's so much younger than he actually is (19). Inspector Jenkins thinks Eiji looks like he's in grade school.

I mean yes, he does look young, but not grade school young.

#did Jenkins mean high school? #translation questions

And Eiji lampshades it by thinking, "Okay, some surprise. Not that much."

He's annoyed by it #probably because people treat him like a kid

Everyone's expressions are great tho. Whenever anyone laughs they look so cheerful, it's great.

Maybe they're just really bad at telling people's ages in general. But they're cops! Isn't that sort of a requirement ? So you can look for criminals or describe them later based on their characteristics?

Ibe & Jenkins have an interesting discussion about how even Japanese think Eiji is younger than he is. Jenkins says, "It's hard to tell the age of Asians, isn't it?" which sounds racist?

Is it harder telling someone's age if they're from another country / race? #idk #why does it matter anyway

#this is the eagle from the movie Rescuer's Down Under

#I recommend

Anyway. Norris says Eiji looking young is actually good, because, I quote, pg. 85 "They don't trust adults. But with you they might just relax a little and open up. And they like to show off to people their own age." #because of course they do

Ibe asks if they're dangerous, and gets an Elvish "Yes, but also no" response. Violence is their life, because "they're younger, they're also more impulsive, more unpredictable." pg.86

But also, "The flip side is they take their honor seriously. Even absurdly. They feel it's what separates them from the . . . well, I guess you could say, the grown-ups in organized crime." pg.86

#grown-ups are the worst #sick burn

Then we get confirmation that Ash is the best #we know this already, but it's great to hear because he's a gang leader, which means he has to - rule isn't the correct word, I guess "keep order" is more what they're going for, but also not be afraid to lay down the law if necessary #as we saw. Of the aforementioned, violent but honorable & volatile kids & teenagers Norris just mentioned.

#sounds tough #they sound kinda like samurai but not as cultured

#or maybe Vikings

Jenkins has this great quote about Ash, top of pg.87,

"This kid Ash is smart as they come, tough as hell, but also full of presence."

Ibe asks if Ash is also a "young boy" which Jenkins confirms, and also mentions that he (Ash) is Caucasian. Which is supposed to be surprising for some reason? But also, in true 80s fashion, Ash has managed to unite some Black and Latino kids into his gangs, "racial harmony".

#I do like the inclusion of Black & Latino people in Banana Fish #tho they're not always drawn respectfully

#surprisngly the (few) ladies in Banana Fish are drawn respectfully

#but not always respected #Ash needs to apologize to the doctor's secretary, Ms.Brandish #secretaries have tough jobs

#go racial harmony #let's respect each other #but don't join gangs they're bad for you #Banana Fish is all about that

#also Caucasian has Asian in it #which is strange #also funny? #what is English

Eiji thinks, "Ash. I'm going to meet him soon." And we get a lovely picture of him wondering about Ash at the end of pg. 87

And then we cut to Ash talking to Dino #the murdering worst.

Duh duh duh!

Going to stop here, it's late.

Next time, a lovely convo battle of wits between Ash & Dino, I question Dino's dress choices, lots of lovely framing shots, 2 lowlifes plot terrible plots, and maybe we will finally get to when Ash & Eiji meet!

[loveelle]

New Year, New Requests!

However, requests are closed until January 8 :(

I think I’m going to make a choice that might not be popular but with the new year here, I think I’m gonna delete the requests I have and sort of start over. I mean sort of because I’d be willing to do requests that had been requested and continue some of the wips I started but only if the requester comes back and lets me know that they’re still around and wanting the fic. I’m doing this because, you know, new year new requests and I haven’t posted a fic in a long time thanks to my blog being hidden for 3 months. I know I have a lot of requests that I’m scraping and I’m sorry about that but it’s very overwhelming and I hope you understand <3

That being said, I’m putting the requests below the cut for those who requested them to remember which ones are theirs and to let me know! I’m headed back to school hopefully tomorrow for a quarter that starts on the 4th so I might be a little busy to start excepting requests right away but I will soon!

Thanks for sticking around with me guys and I hope this year brings you more content from me :)

*If you do not see your already requested fic on this list and would like me to write it still pls send me an ask and I’ll add it to my list!

Luke Patterson:

Can we get a cutesy/maybe angsty Luke x reader fic based off the scene/look Luke gives Julie when she asks him to “tell her mom she loves her” when they cross over. But it’s the reader planning to tell Luke how she feels & he gets that giddy smile (the band has been hyping her up/but second guesses herself) then they have the performance & reader returns with Julie expecting the boys to be gone but they aren’t & tries to convince them to go to Caleb but Luke says no & she goes to kiss him??

Hey I love your writing!!!!!!! I have a request for a Luke x reader. So basically this is an alive Luke fic where he is dating the reader. The reader is a little insecure of Julie because she keeps overheating how amazing those two are together and how they should start dating or how he’s probably cheating on her with Julie. So one day she goes to surprise him with lunch and she sees them kissing. Luke sees her but she runs away and he runs after her. Do it very angsty with a happy ending where it was Julie who initiated the kiss because she likes Luke but he doesn’t like her and chooses the reader. Sorry it it’s so complicated.

Can i request a Luke x reader based on the song "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5💚

Luke Patterson x reader - Friends by Ed Shareen

Luke Patterson x reader please? Maybe with song Style by Taylor Swift? Or just any Taylor Swift song in general? Better than Revenge? All Too Well? Cordelia Street?

Can i request a luke x reader for all too well by taylor swift?

Luke x reader? Nobody Compares? By 1D?

Oooo Luke x reader - either Fallin’ All in You/Mutual/Queen or Like to Be You kinda vibe by Shawn Mendes??? I LOVE ALL YOUR WORK! 💞

Omg what about a Luke Patterson x Mercer!reader with the song Accidentally in Love by Counting Crows from Shrek sksks

could I request luke patterson x reader - remember the mornings by clinton kane 💚

Could I request a luke x reader with girls like us by zoe wees! love your fics

Luke x Reader Upside Down by Austin & Ally?

hi!! I saw you were doing song requests ages ago, but I just thought of one now, pretty new song but it hits you right in the feels 🥺🥺 it’s chicken tendies by Clinton Kane (the name is very misleading 😂)

Can you do "Sex" by The 1975 with Luke you dont have to put smut (maybe implied) just Luke pining after the reader with a happy ending💕

Omg! Hi! So idk if you are still taking song fics but I was folding my laundry at 2 am (you know... gotta love that college life) and The Vamps song Can We Dance came on and I was like Ahhhhh! The perfect Luke x reader song... especially if like set at a party or something... but I’d just thought I would suggest it! Everything you write is so incredibly good PSA!! 💞

Reggie Peters:

hiii! i was wondering if your accepting prompts could write reggie x reader (who is alex’s younger sibling) and they’re kinda sneaking around. Thank you 💛

hiiiii! can i request some mercer sibling x reggie pleasee! really interested to see your take on alex as a big brother!! Xx

Jatp:

ah hi !! heard you needed songs for requests or something? sorry if you don't but idk any other jatp pages if that makes sense. young love by btr could work really well for any ghost member x ghost / living reader?? anyway take with that what you will !! have a good day and much love

Could you do something with the song Amnesia by 5sos? Maybe the reader literally has to move. A happy ending twist? (I don’t remember the character requested :( let me know pls)

Peter Parker:

I was thinking maybe Peter Parker x Cheerleader!Reader? Where they both secretly pine after eachother but due to Peter's shyness reader thinks he's intimated by her popularity and uncomfortable around her and she avoids him because of it. But Peter's shy and awkward because he thinks no one like her would like someone like him because they're so different from one another. And then they get paired together for a project or something and their feelings grow stronger and they start getting even more awkward around eachother and they get in an argument where they both think they've done something wrong and in the heat of the moment they both confess their feelings. Idk I feel like its too detailed of a request so I'm not gonna be upset if you decline it. If you do want to write it feel free to take any artistic liberties you want! Totally up to you.

[bingeblogging]

Since my last post ended up being more of a PSA to all SA victims, let me continue to share my out-of-pocket and out-of-character week...I'm here 2 weeks later on 1/26:

Tuesday:

So yeah, to summarize, I probably snapped with this guy from bumble for one whole day knowing like nothing about him. We make plans to get "tipsy and watch movies" on Saturday but I playfully suggest going over that night and I end up packing an overnight bag and staying over. We drink a white claw, prob 3 shits of Tito's, mess around, we go all the way, unfortunately a few times where I was coerced and pressured to do so. I've called him out on it via snap, he tried to call me twice but I didn't wanna talk. We chalked it down to miscommunication and whatnot. Whatever, I'm over it.

Wednesday:

I get 4 hours of sleep, somehow make it to work right on time, because he just needed "5 mins". I let him do his thing for 5 mins and finish. After getting to work my coworker/friend, let's call her Violet, wants to know everything. I eventually text her paragraphs of my night in great detail, and she eventually helps me come to terms that this was r word. The situation hasn't set in and I was talking about it like it was some interesting experience or funny story.

Later on, I visited my grandma as I usually do on Wednesday nights. I had covid the previous week so I wasn't able to see her. I stayed for a bit and met up to see this guy I haven't seen in like 5 years. He was who I lost my virginity to and overall had a weird relationship with, where went on dates and would fool around but didn't have a defined relationship. I hit him up a couple weeks ago asking if he wanted to have that sort of thing again. He was didn't think it would be beneficial for either of us and he said sex doesn't fulfill him in thatw ay anymore. And I feel the same. Idk why I asked when I'm the last person to wanna have sex.

We decided to meet at a park and sat in the backseat of his car. He used to have a Mercedes suv and now this was just a small black car so a lot smaller than the last time we were in a backseat together. Spent some time catching up, not anything super significant has happened to either of us since last seeing each other. Except he had a girlfriend late 2022 and I guess they've been on-and-off and thinking about getting back together. Eventually he leans in and says "get over here" and we start making out. He stops and apologizes because it just doesn't seem right to him. We talk longer about what type of relationship we'd have. Basically neither of us have to do anything we don't want to, just casual and whatever. We kiss again and he stops. He feels like he's taking a step backwards to the past. Which makes sense. We talk a bit more, hug and leave. I texted him later saying we could just talk, hang, vent and do whatever friends do. And that ot seems he still has things to work out with his ex so maybe this isn't needed, so we can just the past in the past and walk away, but I'll always be a friend. I haven't heard from him after that and it's been a week. I'm good though, like I'm at peace with that. I think I was just bored and curious and craving what we had then.

Thursday:

So Thursday morning at work I started to break down thinking about Tuesday's events, just out of nowhere really. And when I stopped I would start again. Luckily I'm at a table in our lobby facing a window to look for cars pulling up to check appointments in. I'd just wipe my tears and pull myself together enough to greet the clients and put up their sheet, sit back down and cry, rinse and repeat. That was the only time really. I almost stepped away into one of the offices where my other coworker/friend, lets call her Archer, was working in. But I got through it.

That evening, I went over to Violet's house to smoke 🍁. My first official time. She invited this guy she went for drinks with, we'll call him Bo. She wasn't feeling him but they still talked and she said she wanted me to meet him because he's hilarious. He couldn't make it that night BUT we went over to his place on Friday night, which I'll explain more in depth. So Violet teaches me how to hold, light and smoke out of a pipe. Talking about and reading messages with the boys we met on dating apps and the guy she's been wishy washy about. I eventually leave a couple hours later and she actually GIVES me a pipe and some weed she ground up for me. I smoked a few times over the weekend and honestly, I didn't feel really any different? Maybe more giggly?

After I left, I texted this guy I've been texting the past couple weeks. A current college security guard and aspiring police officer. We've been trying to get me to come over to his place and I said I would tonight if it didn't get too late. It took me about 35 mins and he had a nice big apartment. Kinda awkward but handsome and I chalked it up to nerves. Didn't go all the way but got oretty close. Just a lot of grinding. I eventually said I should get going, I wasn't sure what he was thinking and I thought he probably wanted it to be over. It was an awkward goodbye because he was just looking at his phone leaning on his counter. I was like, "okay bye?" And hugged him because it was like ??? I sat in his apartment complex parking lot and sent voice notes to Violet about the night. I drove the 30 mins home and didn't hear from him. Once I got home I snapped him asking if he was good because it seemed awkward when I left. The next morning he said he wasn't feeling it, and I asked if it was anything I was doing. Which led to the conclusion that it was a bunch of miscommunication, because i would ask what he wanted and he wasn't really voicing anything, just going along with things. I felt I was doing a lot with changing things up but he said he felt he was doing a lot of the work with eating me out, using his hands, kissing my neck, etc. It was insinuated that we'd meet up again, but -

UPDATE: as of today, January 26, he ignored me for a week and said he was going through stuff, etc. But I was honest and said sex doesn't fulfill me and I feel used and I want a genuine connection. He said he gets it and says we shouldn't meet. It's true though, my experiences haven't been well and I'm convinced none of the guys I'm talking to want anything to do with me that doesn't involve sex. Whateverrr.

Friday:

Me and Violet went over to Bo's house, drank shots and passed around a joint or two. Played darts, had fun and hung out with a Nicki minaj megamix playing on his TV in the background.

Saturday:

First day I spent by myself all week

Sunday:

Bo asked if I wanted to "smoke and netflix". Of course I knew what could happen but I guess I was just numb to it idk. He's egyptian and has an accent which just charms me to the max too. Lol I went over there later, after like 30 mins in the taco bell drive thru. This was the second time seeing Bo and I didn't really know him still. But I was just on a roll with hanging out with guys I didn't know all that week so why not I guess. He puts on "Don't Look Up" and I saw it was over 2 hours and I'm like "idk if we'll finish this" and he agreed. We share a joint and he asks to cuddle so I do, o feel kinda weird has he's tracing his fingers over my arm because again, only hung out once, and he went out with Violet so I was thinking "is he just getting at me because she wasn't feeling him?" But whateverrr. I think he asked if I'm hooking up rn with people and I said I'm not usually the type to just hook up or at least not right away. Like we can make out and play around and stuff. And he says something like "yeah, we can make out..." and it just happens. He was pretty stoned so I don't think he was really in the mood or maybe respected what I said about not hooking up right away. He said "tonight I want to make you happy" and he eats me out for a while 👀 I did go down on him before. I didn't finish, I feel like it'll take a while. Butttt I did get pretty wet. He was flicking his tongue in the right way and also had his fingers in me and I felt me squirting on them. I announced I was squirting because he kinda hesitated and later said he was confused and didn't know but once he knew he said it was hot 👀 He also said later that he didn't mind eating me out for a while because my 🐱 is too hot 👀

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Soooo last night (1/25/22) I go over there again...BTW he lives with his ex. They're married but separated and he had the house for the night. He asked if I wanted to come smoke with him later, and my mood lately has just been why not so yeah lol. We start by sharing a joint. Bo also smokes cigarettes, but you'd never guess. He's one of those really clean smokers. Throughout the night we go out on his porch 3 times for him to smoke. Usually I'd be like, gross, and I'm still never gonna smoke cigarettes, but being around my grandma a lot, secondhand smoke doesn't bother me too much. I kinda taste the sour taste in his mouth when we kiss but it's not too offputting. He shows me how to smoke from a bong, kinda nice, but i prefer when he rolls a blunt. You dont have to light it too much. I wanna get some rolling paper one of these days, smoking from the pipe is kinda convenient but the joint experience is kinda nice lol.

His wifi was acting weird so his TV wasn't connecting. No Netflix tonight, just hood rat music on his phone lol. We start with making out, things progress to 69, he finishes in my mouth. Nbd. Clean up, smoke break. The second time, we go all the way. He wears a condom, like a respectful king. He finishes. Clean up, smoke break. Third time, we start making out and he wants me to cum but at this point I'm dry and not feelin it. I say I don't have to cum and it's ok. GIRLS DONT DO THIS. YOU DESERVE AN ORGASM AND DONT SHAME YOURSELF OR LET ANOTHER PERSON SHAME YOU ON HOW LONG IT'LL TAKE FOR YOU TO FINISH. He asked if I was sure and I said it would take...he says "forever?" And I just say a while, longer than like 5 seconds. Because do guys not realize this??? Ugh. Anyways I'm grinding on top of him, getting really wet. He asks if I'm gonna cum for him and I say I'm gonna try. He eventually is moaning a lot and asks me to choke him 😏 which was hot to hear because a bit before we were talking about what we were into, and I mentioned choking. He said he would get kinda concerned when I led his hand to my neck and wondered if I was hurting, and I said I'd tap him or let him know somehow if I was hurting lol. So I pick up the pace, just getting wetter but not more stimulated ??? I'm watching him pant and get more turned on, eventually he says shit over and over and I keep going until he finishes. I wish that did it for me. But I slowed down the pace and just got off him. Helped him clean up, got dressed for the third time, sat out in his screen room for the 3rd cigarette smoke break because he asked and I was in no rush, then we hug goodbye and we don't text the whole night. He texts me 3 separate messages this morning "good morning hun" "I hope you have a good day today" "last night was so hot actually!!" And I just replied "thank you, I hope you do too" because I was really feeling like nothing because I would like to also have an orgasm and I literally gave this guy 3 orgasms in 3 different ways. I'm all about communication but being passive aggressive is usually my first move lol...if we hang again (I'll give it at least one more shot) I'm gonna remind him of those 3 orgasms and the fact that I had zeroooo. I guess I worry that I won't get there. Ugh whatever. I'm a mess. The fun part is that Bo and I have this little secret that we agreed to not share with Violet. She's going through hell and Friday night we all took shots, smoked, and ate pizza hut at her place while her ex was out...he lightly rubbed my back and there were moments where I saw him stop himself from touching me because Violet was there hehe. Dirty little secret I guess 😏

Forgot what it was called when you do the same thing over and over expecting different results.....insanity all 2022 🥴😵‍💫🤪

[thefreshchannel]

Things i remember from when tdpi premiered:

- the colorless black and white promo picture of the contestants came out and people made all sorts of recolors of it. I’m p most topher recolors were jfk clone high

- back when the colorless post came out people shipped scarlett with shawn because they thought shawn would be like this cool skater/junkie and scarlett would be a shy timid nerdy girl

- ACTUALLY months before it premiered, i think even as all stars was airing its last episodes someone leaked the first episode’s storyboard and we all got ahold of it.

- based on the recent storyboard people started shipping ella with jasmine bc ppl thought it would be cute (princess girl/strong knight girl) but the other half of the populars were like “STOP SHIPPING WOC WITH WHITE GIRLS!” They then proceeded to ship jasammy once tdpi premiered and bash everyone who DID NOT ship it (also a good ship but sammy is also a white girl lol)

- dave. Oh dave. Oh my goodness dave. Mike discourse 2.0 except the populars LIKED him. They would excuse anything dave did like “HES MENTALLY ILL WHY DO YOU HATE MENTALLY ILL PPL WHO RELATE TO HIM” as if they had not done the same with mike td a couple of months ago. Idc abt this discourse anymore but back in the day the way he obsessed over sky and wanting to date her despite her saying no made a lot of ppl feel kinda nasty.

- idk why ppl hated ella sm. I guess she was annoying to some. Usually these ppl were sugar stans. Or maybe it’s just how unrealistic the characters were this season that made her kind of unlikable. I liked her tho she was sweet.

- lu had a leonard ask blog from when the storyboard was leaked and made a post once it premiered. A (non black) popular called them out for using aave bc “LEONARD DOESNT TALK LIKE THIS WE KNOW WHY UR MAKING HIM TALK LIKE THIS THO” and lu had to reblog and remind the popular that they in fact were black.

- there were some...VERY toxic topher stans who would straight up make him a homophobic stereotype when he didnt rlly...act like that? The gwanon/sierra blog was friends w them and would submit anti bullying psa’s to ppl who would call out the toxic topher stan for telling people to drink bleach.

- sugar would get a lot of hate as well and a lot of it had to do w her being fat. Yoinks. Iirc there was a side that actually rlly liked and they were the ones receiving sugar hate/criticism. A lot of it did have to do w her being “nasty”

- when the finale premiered, sky using dave did not sit well with The Boys and they would draw torture porn of her getting wedgies and being beaten for “making dave cry”

- jashawn fanbase was like a peaceful place to be in because everyone was just having fun w the ship. A ship everyone agreed with at the time.

[pappydaddy]

Ghost of You (f.w.)

A/N: So, I was just listening to music while writing my Steve series “I Wanna Be Yours” and Ghost of You by 5 Seconds of Summer came on and I instantly started crying so I got a sudden urge to write a sad imagine so, sorry in advance..  

Ironically enough, it’s usually me going to write something with the intent for Steve, but end up writing for Billy, but this time it’s a whole different fandom. It actually went from Billy to Steve, then it went to Fred. 

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Based off the song Ghost of You by 5 Seconds of Summer

Part One - You’re here! | Part Two

Trigger Warning: Mention of death, really sad, angst, heartbreak, depression, PTSD, mention of witnessing death, mention of drinking, slight mention of suicide.

PSA: I DO NOT agree with JK Rowling’s recent comments about the trans community, but I WILL NOT let her and her bigoted and transphobic ways ruin Harry Potter for me. Harry Potter has given me so much, I have connected to characters unlike ever before. REMEMBER, TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS. Also, my DMs are always open

Another PSA: I do know the recent drama around 5 Seconds of Summer with the claims that had been made about them, but I also know that they have been proven to be false, one of them having been committed by someone else other than a member of their band or team. I would never EVER support someone who has been accused and found guilty of claims such as the ones that 5sos had been accused off because they are horrible acts committed by sick people. And, I would never outright say someone was falsely accusing, but again, the claims made against 5sos were found to be false or to be committed by other people. If you are not aware of that, I recommend checking reputable stan twitter accounts because (a) they know more than me, (b) they explain it better, and (c) they have proof. If you are a victim, I am so so sorry that that happened to you and I want you to know that you’re insanely strong and just keep your head up! Don’t hesitate to get help if you’re suffering, there are so many resources to help cope, report and all kinds of thing! Also, my DMs are always open

Another PSA: I struggle from depression, anxiety and have lasting effects of a traumatic event so if you are struggling with anything, please seek help. These are horrible things to battle with alone and therapy, psychologist, or a psychiatrist can help you gain the tools to cope healthily and any other tools you may need. Also, my DMs are always open.

This is my first Harry Potter imagine, idk what possessed me to write for a different fandom since my focus has been Stranger Things, but I guess I was going to have to write for the other fandoms eventually, right?

Sorry this is so long, there’s a lot of disclaimers I had to put on this to make myself feel like I am making my blog a safe space for everyone. I didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation - my gif -

  The war had taken so much from everyone. Taken innocence, taken parents, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives; it seemed that nobody was safe from the path of destruction. Even a year after the war, many were still plagued with mourning people ripped away from them by the clutches of war. Fred Weasley was one of them. They had just started their lives together, finally going through with everything they had talked and planned about during those nights wrapped in each other’s arms as they hid from the Professors and Prefects. Those hopes and dreams for the future were now just empty memories and proof of their love. The book that held every little detail of their planned future laid on your desk in your bedroom - untouched since the last time you had touched it before the war. Everything of yours remained in the place you had set them the last time you had touched them. They were frozen in a happier time filled with love and light, not filled with loneliness and darkness. 

  Fred stirred awake, the familiar feeling of his body being weighted down rushing over him as he blinked his eyes open. His void gaze instantly met the empty side of the bed. It was neatly made, the pillow just faintly smelling of you now. Even a year later, he couldn’t bring himself to lay on that side of the bed - your side of the bed. He had a hard enough time sleeping in the bed at all, not being able to forget the feeling of you wrapped in his arms. Tears burned his eyes as he gazed upon the spot, your laughter echoing in his mind as he remembered all of those mornings he woke up to you just waking up yourself. He’d lean in, nabbing his first kiss of the day and you’d pull away with red cheeks claiming that you hadn’t brushed your teeth yet and he’d claim not to care (which he didn’t) and lean in to pepper kisses all over your face - your laughter bouncing off the walls. He threw the covers off him, trying to fight against the weight trying to keep him down in the bed. Pushing against the invisible force he shuffled into the bathroom to brush his teeth. 

  With ever step he took, every room he entered, came the memory of you. The tune you hummed as you danced from the bedroom to the bathroom, the smell of your shampoo, the smell of your sweet perfume. They lingered through the house like a ghost - a hazy mist trailing behind him everywhere he went. The ball in his throat stung as he tried to swallow it down, blinking away from the tears that welled in his eyes. No matter how many times he experienced them a day since you died, he would never get used to the sting. He’d never get used to the shaking of his hands, the tightness growing in his chest, the racing of his heart, the constricting of his lungs or the vivid image of holding you in his arms, watching the life slip from your body as you took your last breath whenever he heard something that brought him back to that day. 

  He could smell the fresh coffee that his brother had brewed as he drifted into the hall, a shell of the old Fred. George was used to seeing his brother dancing down the hallway with you, large smiled on both your faces and laughter surrounding the entire apartment. Now, since you were gone, Fred didn’t dance, his feet were heavy against the floors, weighing him down. He didn’t joke around with his brother anymore, his brother missed the sound of his laughter and the humorous tone to his voice instead of the broken and heavy one he had now. The second Fred entered the small kitchen, his eyes instantly landed on the yellow mug with the faint lipstick stain still on the rim, the faded red still a slight contrast from the yellow of the mug. You had never been able to get the stain gone, it had driven you crazy that your lip stick had tainted the beautiful mug Fred had gotten you after you guys ran away from Hogwarts as a homage to your house, Hufflepuff. The plants that you had been growing thanks to your love for Herbology were barely alive, George having been trying his best to take care of them since he knew you’d want them to thrive. 

  “Morning, Freddie,” George’s voice was soft as he brought his own mug to his lips, sipping the warm coffee. “Made you some eggs,” He told his brother as he pushed a plate of scrambled eggs towards his moping brother before setting a full cup of coffee in front of him. “How’d you sleep?” He asked him. Fred, not lifting his head from his plate of eggs as he pushed them around with the fork George had laid on the plate. 

  “Fine.” It was a simple word, but it was most of what Fred spoke these days. George hummed, taking another large gulp of his coffee as he let Fred soak in his silence, knowing that if he pushed too hard, he’d revert back and lose all the progress they had made. 

  “Are you feeling ready for your appointment today? Do you want me to come with you? Or mum, maybe Ginny? I can get Lee to cover the shop if you want me to come.” George asked him, setting his coffee cup on the counter, his hands wrapped around the warm mug.

  “I’m fine going on my own.” He muttered, thinking back to his night. He knew that his therapist would ask him about it. It was just like any other night. Sleepless since whenever he closed his eyes, you were all he saw. He knew that if he’d sleep long enough, he could dream of you and it’d be like you never left, but he’d also know that you’d tell him that he’ll be fine without you and he definitely knew he’d never be. You were his. 

  “Please don’t skip out on this one to sit at the bar and drink, Fred,” George pleaded with his brother. Last two appointments, Fred and went on his own and ended up not even showing up. When his therapist George (them having to have gotten a muggle landline for communication) to inform him that Fred had not shown up, he had search everywhere for him. George remembered the blinding fear he had coursing through his blood that day, not knowing where his brother was or if he was okay. His mind had jumped to every possible conclusion, the nagging thought of the worst hanging in the back of his mind. “You need these appointments, they are good for you,” George pleaded. Fred only nodded, not saying anything while he ate. George watched him take a few more bites before his fork clanged against the plate about still half full of eggs. Fred pushed it away, taking one final sip of his coffee. “Right, so your appointment’s at twelve, so why don’t you get an outfit picked out while I head down to the shop - Mum will be here in a few minutes, I reckon.” George suggested. 

  Fred hummed, walking back into his room. Molly had been coming over to monitor when Fred left for his appointments and got back, also to watch the phone incase he skipped over his appointment. She also came daily when George was manning the shop to watch over Fred and take care of him. Sometimes, Fred went down to the shop and sorted products, but that was rare. George popped his head into Fred’s room to see him sitting on the bed. In his hands, he held your favourite shirt of his. He stared down at it while a mismatched outfit laid on the bed beside him. “I’m heading down to the shop, love you.” George announced. 

  “Love you, George.” The sound broke George’s heart. The fear in his brother’s voice every time George left the apartment destroyed him. Fred was terrified of losing someone else and not getting to be there for them, that he can never let them leave his presence without him saying that he loves them. His biggest fear was that you had died not knowing that he still loved you. Everyone says that you knew because you could feel his love for you and he doesn’t want anyone to question if he loved them if he wasn’t there. 

  The second he heard the door close behind George, he let himself crash down on the bed, laying on his side in a fetal position as he held the shirt to his nose. His jaw was sore as he let the tears fall from his eyes, the lump in his throat twisting itself into a bigger lump. His body shook with silent sobs. He couldn’t help but envision you moving through the apartment with this shirt tucked into your pants or tied up. He hadn’t felt himself slip into sleep as he let himself imagine your arms wrapping around him, encasing him in a loving warmth. He was unaware of his mother walking into the apartment as he finally slept with his imagination configuring you there with him. Molly instantly went to his room to check on him when he wasn’t on the couch, she stopped in her tracks as she laid eyes on her sleeping son, curled up. She only saw Fred sleeping in a fetal position clutching a t-shirt, but Fred felt the ghost of you wrapped around him.  

[vonnyphant]

To Blog or Not to Blog?

“You should start a diary and write about your experiences. It may help people going through the same thing.”

Honestly? If there’s one thing I discovered about this diagnosis, it’s that it makes me pretty damn selfish. I don’t want to help other people (not just yet, anyway). But putting some thoughts down about this time in my life may be of some sort of therapeutic value, and I do want to help myself. 

(Maybe for once, saving the world can wait. Do you remember how, soon after the pandemic hit, people stopped avoiding plastic and single-use items? When your health is at risk, suddenly rainforests and polar bears and the planet are deprioritised- not that anyone will admit to this. But this is my diary and I can say what I want!* Writing for myself it is.)

Having established my less-than-Mother-Theresa-like reasons for this blog, my conscience cleared, it’s time to start. This is where the Lifetime movie shows me, in a half daze, mellowed out on drugs while they sew a mediport into my chest to start administering chemicals. A fast lane to my bloodstream. A docking station. The soundtrack? Hopefully ‘Across The Universe’ by the Beatles (possibly Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. If I get a say in it, I veto The Walrus) Time to pump this body full of drugs that’ll make my hair fall out. 

Wait, what?

Voice Over: “Yep. That’s me. You’re probably wondering what I am doing here…” //record scratch - freeze frame - fast rewind to the psychedelic outtro of A Day In The Life//

Two months ago, during rub-a-dub-in-the-tub (less naughty than it sounds, was just washing myself), my mind inexplicably went to an episode of Beverly Hills 90210, s1 (aired in 1992- yes, I am that old), where Brenda Walsh has a breast cancer scare. I say inexplicably, because my usual shower fantasies do not include Ms Shannon Doherty - if I was going to pick a shower lady, I’d opt for Charlize Theron, Kiera Knightly or Winona Ryder in their short-hair phases, but that is neither here nor there. 

Say what you want for 90s television- weird outfits and ponytails notwithstanding, in their AfterSchoolSpecial PSA way, they dedicated a whole scene to the girls giving themselves a breast exam, including how-to instructions**, and eventhough I was only 11 years old when I saw it, I remembered what to do, and for the last 30 years, every now and then I have randomly carried it out while wondering how I always preferred Brandon over Dylan and how my tastes have changed over time.

But this time - my hand actually found something.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself down the same way I did after finding spots on my skin, lumps on my head and every time I sneezed since covid-19; by telling myself to fucking snap out of my hypochondria tendencies. One cannot go to the doctor every damn day after all. Breast tissue is pretty lumpy and I assumed it was just imaginary. I made an appointment to see a therapist, and  put it out of my mind until a few weeks later, when one of the kids came crashing down on me (literally) and faceplanted in my boob (as they do). 

Now this always hurts af, but it just hurt that little more that day, so that I grabbed the appendage in question and went “WHAT THE--!” And I felt it again- the lump, more defined than a few weeks before. 

Cue a lot more freaking out than the first time, and after a sleepless night, imagining what my funeral would look like (as one does), I decided to go to the gynocologist the same day or risk never to sleep again.

After a long wait and an ultrasound, my doctor assured me that while there really was a mass, it had every indication of being benign. We should keep an eye on it. If I was worried, I could schedule a second screening, but would not likely get an appointment before April. I scheduled one and tried to focus on preparing our first lockdown Christmas. 

But over the holidays, the lump started hurting, even when I wasn’t poking it or having a kid catapult themselves into my chest. I’d be Netflix and Chilling, and suddenly - ZAP - like someone stuck a hot needle into it. Repeatedly. My nipple would go numb or start tingling like a bodypart that fell asleep. It freaked me out, and in the new year, I realised I couldn’t wait until April - I had to get it checked out again or I may worry myself to death.

My gynocologist did another ultrasound and again, told me not to worry. I told her it was way too late for that as I had been worried for weeks, and I wanted the thing biopsied (they gave Brenda Walsh one too, after all! It’s the only way to be 100% sure). She referred me to the hospital. At the description of my symptoms, I could come directly, and the radiologist told me in no unclear terms: “I will not let you leave this room until we draw blood and take several biopsies.” Okay- not exactly what one wants to hear at that point, but at the same time, I figured knowing would be better than guessing by the shape of it.

Test results took a week. I went in, being prepared to be told (like Brenda) it was a harmless clump of random cells or a cyst we could have removed like a wart. Only it wasn’t. It was breast cancer, an aggressive, fast-growing kind, and had I waited until April, that could have had disastrous consequences.

While the doctor explained we now needed to determine the scope of the spread and take more tissue to determine what kind of chemo (if any) could be applied, all my 2020-PTSD brain could think was: 

“.............of course”. 

Didn’t hear much of what she said afterwards.

Another harrowing 4 days went by, with a CT screening with contrast solutions that gave me an intense stomach ache as well as a migraine, and finally, a fully rounded diagnosis and treatment advice could be made. 

Thankfully, all my organs as well as lymphnodes were clear, so it appears to be a localised tumor. And here we are - to fight this thing with chemicals and then cut out whatever is left. Genetics testing to see about the likelihood of a recurrency (and a possible double mastectomy if so - ‘pulling an Angelina Jolie’, ‘not saving the tatas’, insert ‘Think About It meme’...can’t have breast cancer if you don’t have breasts! THINK ABOUT IT***). 

Chances are good. I need to cling to that while I wait for this port and treatment to start. I have accepted the inevitable hair loss, have scheduled a ritual ‘crazy hair cutting party’ with my kids for this weekend (as I would rather shave it off in one go than clean up clumps and strands over the course of weeks and look like Gollum), and I have sewn several funny little hats for inside wear and ‘going out’ (though where will I be going in pandemic, idk). 

I was going to end this post on a light and happy note - but I must admit my confidence just took a really big hit in real time, as I googled how to spell Shannon’s last name for this blog entry and found out that she was treated for breast cancer in 2015, initially succesfully, but it reappeared metastasized in 2020 (again: ‘of course...when else’) and she is now in stage IV. Fuck 2020.

What are the odds that the woman whose character made me discover my own breast cancer is now, in fact, dying of the same disease? This will surely haunt me for a long time to come.

More tomorrow? Or soon? It may take a while. Until then: outro to It’s Getting Better.

*also for the record I would like to state that I’ve sewn my own masks from upcycled pillowcases and continued using fruit- and vegetable nets to avoid plastic; maybe that makes up for me being utterly selfish at the moment. Karma +1?

** https://youtu.be/pkgYXITkrfw (the scene from BH 90210)

***cis men / trans women without breasts can also get breast cancer (even though it’s rare) so this meme doesn’t really hold up, but that’s the whole point of the meme ;)

[ettawritesnstudies]

First Line Tag

thanks @writingamongther0ses! I’ll do this with each Storge chapter. I haven’t edited past chapter 4 yet and I’ll be doing a lot of rearranging so these won’t be accurate to the final story but hopefully they’ll be interesting until I have the fixed version! 5-24 are after the cut because this got long. 

Tagging:  @thiscrypticfangirl @thescatteredscribbles and @soulgazingdotwav if you want! 

Chapter 1: Apparently Stealing Earns You A Job In This Society. Who Knew?

It was far too lovely a day for a riot, but not even the cool breeze flapping the fabric of the trader's multicolored tents could prevent Luca from taking advantage of the fact that there was, in fact, a riot.

Chapter 2: Please Don’t Be An Impulsive Idiot

The streets were empty as Luca and Grace walked towards their home from work at Acheran’s shop.

Chapter 3: Everyone Should Learn First Aid. This Has Been a PSA.

Luca slowly opened his eyes as he realized the punches had stopped and dropped his shield in relief.

Chapter 4: Fight! Fight! Fight!

When the vials of magic liquid shattered on the floor of the arena, every Anarchist was immediately transported to outside the city limits in the far northwest, where the canyons and mountains of inner Maaren sloped down to the desert near the sea.

Chapter 5: This Wasn’t The Family Meeting I Expected Today

The family returned to their apartments, and the Avians flew off with promises to meet them in the morning.

Chapter 6: Some Sketchy Sneaky Shit Goes Down In This One / I Give You Permission To Go On A Rampage Now

Everything fell perfectly into place, and Lyss did not have time for the luxury of sentimentality. 

Chapter 7: I’ll Check In Tomorrow If I Don’t Wake Up Dead

Luca tried to ignore the knot in his throat as he stood in the middle of their emptied home, staring at the barren room.

Chapter 8: Addelheaded Plans (You Really Ought To Listen To Your Mother)

Last night? The arena fight mentally felt like aeons ago, but his various pains reminded Luca that it was a very present reality.

Chapter 9: I Want To Write A Fight Scene Now and You Can’t Stop Me

Esil heard the sounds of music from outside the palace window and scowled. What sort of leader played the harp while riots broke out all over the city?

Chapter 10: *aggressive head nod* THANK YOU.

Everyone rose as Lyss entered the courtroom and walked towards her throne, and Chara, sitting in the front seats of the room, finally had the chance to really get a close look at the new queen

Chapter 11: Way to Go, Dumbass

Luca was awake again. He sat on the stairs to their house – he refused to think of it as a home, since they’d only been there for a day and he didn’t intend on sticking around much longer anyhow.  

Chapter 12: Let’s Go Over The Buddy Rule Again, Shall We?

Aimon tore away from the guard trying to hold her back and chased after Lyss. 

Chapter 13: In Which We Finally Get Some Answers

Anda cringed at the silence.

Chapter 14: Hello Naughty Children It’s Murder Time

They spun around to face the passage entrance as it shut, baring their spears and ready for a new breach.

Chapter 15: The Sweet Smell of a Moral Dilemma in the Morning

Enne awoke first, comforted by the small space heater that was her sister sleeping calmly and safely next to her.

Chapter 16: Writing This Was Like Drawing Blood and I Hope You Appreciate It.

Lyss woke to the sound of the city screaming

Chapter 17: Sassing a Murder Might Not Be A Good Idea but ok, I guess...

“We can stop this madness.”

“You caused this,” Esil answered scornfully.

“We all know that’s a lie.”

Chapter 18: I’m Not Crying You’re Crying

Acheran settled on the landing outside of the briefing council, and hesitated until the voices stopped before ducking into the room.

Chapter 19: Plans (none of them)

Luca bit his lip in concentration as he tried to contain the ball of light flickering in his palm.

Chapter 20: If our children could maybe stop ALMOST DYING that would just be really GREAT, wouldn’t it????

The golden warm light of mid-morning washed over the walls of the room and danced across Luca’s bed, gently nudging him from sleep into the ethereal half-consciousness between wake and dreams.

Chapter 21: idk how chapters nor pacing works but the words will be on the page so help me

Enne had to admit that Chara’s job had its perks.

Chapter 22: THE CLIMAX YEEEEEEEEEE

(the real first line is a huge spoiler so have this) 

He stated it simply, as if it were the only logical solution to their present dilemma, and his manner was so casual that Chara was nearly sure she misheard.

Chapter 23: The End

A bright blue figure caught his eye about halfway to the Laines, and Acheran waved to catch his sister’s attention. She rushed to him. “Are they ok?!”

“Yes!”

“Both of them??”

“Yes,”

Epilouge:

The palace was buzzing with activity in preparation for the feast that evening.

[trensu]

Episode 24: The One where LWJ Starts to Question Everything (except his sexuality)

The episode starts like a bad PSA about peer pressure and consent, courtesy of JGS being an utter douchebag

But since this is a wangxian guide, we’re not gonna get into that!!

I will say, tho, that the yunmeng sibs tag-teamed this scene excellently bc hell yeah, DON’T MESS WITH YUNMENG JIANG, BRO

Blah blah boring banquet blah blah

Jgy invites everyone for a sleepover at Carp Tower later with fun party games here.

This is Important for future WangXiantics

Plot plot, jgs and jgy being sneaky power hungry assholes, plot plot

STFU NOBODY LIKES YOU

Lotus Pier Time!!

Stuff happens here

The only fun part was JC using his Zidian (FOREVER THE COOLEST OF ALL THE SPIRITUAL WEAPONS) to smash down the wen crest over their home

I want a zidian. someone Give me a snakey electric whip of my own plz

Oooh, here we get a little morsel of WangXiantics courtesy of the lan bros

Lwj is playing Magic Music in his room at the cloud recesses

He’s practicing! He’s very focused!

Lxc interrupts him

Lxc: rumor has it that you went to the library and checked out ALL the Magic Music books and have been practicing like an obsessive crazy person

Lxc: yeah, so just dropping by to see if that’s true…*pointedly looks at the two stacks of Magic Music books lwj has*

Lwj, in typical little brother behavior, does not acknowledge the questioning

Lwj: I want to enter the forbidden chamber in the library.

Lxc: what for?!?

Lwj: ...to study Magic Music

HE WANTS TO STUDY FORBIDDEN MAGIC MUSIC

BC THE NOT-FORBIDDEN MAGIC MUSIC ISN’T HELPING WWX!!

HE WANTS TO HELP WWX BC HE LOVES HIM AND THEY’RE SOULMATES!!

Okay so that happened and suddenly some Lan person interrupts them to let them know that their uncle wants to see them dun, Dun, DUUUUNNNNNN!!

Lan fam time!!

They’re mostly talking plot here, SO BORING

But we do get a tidbit of almost-wangxiantics

Lqr looks at lwj while talking Plot and says to him, “I’ve heard about wwx.” (re: wicked tricks, i’m assuming, if his expression is anything to go by)

And lwj’s face says “oh shit.”

But, like, in a subtle way bc this is lwj we’re talking about here

Blah blah more plot blah

Here’s a painful wangxian-adjacent scene bc this show exists to HURT US

Lqr: lxc, you go cleanse the battlefields with Magic Music. Lwj, you’ll stay here with me to copy the lan clan rule books bc they were damaged or smth 

Lqr: totally not a punishment

Lqr: completely not doing this to keep you away from wwx

Lqr: copying the books is SUPER important for Reasons

And lwj is a good boy so he accepts the BIGGEST FREAKING RULE BOOK I’VE EVER SEEN that lqr hands him

Just as lqr is walking away, lwj just DROPS TO HIS KNEES with no preamble

LITERALLY FALLS TO HIS KNEES, EYES LOWERED IN RESPECT

Lwj: grandmaster, i want to enter the forbidden chamber

HE’S PRACTICALLY GROVELING

Lqr: oh, have you finished all the books in the Not Forbidden Library?

WHAT A DOUCHE

Lwj: i want to enter the forbidden chamber

He’s still on his knees! Still respectfully lowering his gaze. STILL HOLDING THAT HUGE HEAVY BOOK THAT LQR GAVE HIM IN OUTSTRETCHED ARMS

(Take a moment here to admire the incredible arm strength required to hold out your arms while carrying something that heavy)

Lqr: if you haven’t, then there’s no need for you to be there

And then lqr just walks past lwj? Who’s still kneeling and practically frozen at the rejection?? Like, you can see him shut down emotionally

HOW COULD YOU DO THAT, LQR. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO YOUR NEPHEW WHO NEVER ASKS FOR ANYTHING AND ALWAYS DOES HIS DUTY??

Lwj doesn’t move until his brother pats him on the shoulder and EVEN THEN it takes him a minute to react

Lwj and lxc turn to leavE

Lqr: lwj…

Lwj turns around, his face going soft with hope for a split second!! BC MAYBE HIS UNCLE CHANGED HIS MIND AND IS GIVING HIM PERMISSION???

Lqr: do you understand why I’m not letting you go with lxc?

And then lqr doesn’t elaborate??? HE JUST DISMISSES THEM??

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT??

GETTING LWJ’S HOPES UP FOR NOTHING!?!?!

Lwj wants to get Forbidden Magic Music bc his soulmate needs help

WHY WON’T YOU LET HIM HELP HIS SOULMATE, YOU BASTARD

We cut to Lotus Pier briefly to see JC do sect leader-y things and his sibs are super proud of him

Then we’re back with LWJ who’s on a patio sadly reading the GINORMOUS lan clan rule book

He’s in deep thought

“Eradicate evil, set up laws, and then Goodness is everlasting.”

Ah, yeah, this isn’t foreboding AT ALL, it’s not implying anything about the future of our ship AHAHA

Plot plot lotus pier time plot plot sad wwx & jc time plot plot

Oh, and now we’re in a wine house in yunmeng and wwx just invited lxc for a drink!

Wwx: *watches lxc knock back two shots like a boss*

Wwx: wow. You hold your liquor much better than lan zhan. Are you secretly drinking at the cloud recesses like i did~?

Lxc: *gives him a Look*

Wwx: ahaha, jk jk

Lxc: actually, i get rid of the alcohol using my golden core so it doesn’t count as drinking

(Uhh, pretty sure that’s not how it works, lxc. But whatever helps you sleep at night, i guess)

Wwx: so you’re cleansing things, huh? Lwj does that sort of thing too. Why isn’t he with you here in yunmeng, near my home, where i would be able watch him longingly from afar

Lxc: he was ordered to stay home to copy the lan clan rule book(s)

Wwx: !!!

Wwx: but there’s so many rules!! It’s unbearable!! HE’S PRACTICALLY IMPRISONED

Wwx: BUT HEY, i don’t have much going on, i’ll go with you to gusu! That way i can supervise lwj while he copies stuff like he did with me back in the day! It’ll be much more fun this way *cheeky grin*

Lxc: well….if you’re coming over, why don’t you listen to lwj play some Magic Music he learned? 

Lxc: you wouldn’t happen to know why he’s suddenly learning all the Magic Music do you?

And here wwx immediately goes on the defensive

It’s super frustrating

Wwx: your clan sure likes sticking their noses in other ppl’s business, huh?

RUDE

THAT WAS REALLY RUDE, WWX

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU INVITED YOURSELF OVER TO BEGIN WITH

Lxc is too polite to rise to the bait

Lxc: lwj is my brother, i know him better than anyone. Even if you don’t want to listen, i have something to say to you

LXC LOVES HIS LITTLE BROTHER SO MUCH. HE’S SO CONCERNED FOR HIM

Lxc: if you were the only person in the world, you could do whatever you want without consequence. But you’re not the only person in the world. The people you care about are affected by your actions.

Aka YOU’RE MAKING MY LITTLE BROTHER SAD 

Lxc: if you trust me and lwj, please come to gusu so we can help you pick up the sword again

Aka PLEASE COME VISIT MY LITTLE BROTHER SO HE’S NOT SAD ANYMORE

Obvs wwx shuts that down real quick (and is cocky about it in a not-adorable way)

It was a good try, lxc. Better luck next time.

Yunmeng Bro Drama Happens

We’re ignoring this bc it makes me Sad and also has no wangxian stuff

Blah blah blah Stuff Happens more

Now we’re in the ancestral hall with jyl!! She and wwx have a super adorable moment

Well, okay, it’s kind of emotional at first where jyl is all do you not wanna live with us anymore?? And wwx is like NO, this is my HOME, we’ll be together FOREVER

*HYSTERICAL SOBBING* IT’S A LIEEEEE

And we’re gonna take a moment here to admire wwx’s hands. He’s got nice hands. Almost nice enough to distract from the future heartbreak!

Anyway

Wwx acts SUPER CUTE HERE, OMG

He rests his chin on jyl’s knee and whines about being a hungry toddler WITH A LITTLE POUT AND THEN A GIGGLY SMILE

HOW ARE YOU SO CUTE WWX

Oh, oh, here’s the wangxian bit THAT WE LOVE

Wwx: i have a question i want to ask you, jyl

Wwx: why would a person like another person? I mean, to like them so much? Asking for a friend

Jyl: why are you asking this suddenly? Do you have someone in your heart~? (jyl knows whats up, she’s our captain)

Wwx: NO, NO I’M NOT AT ALL CRUSHING ON ANYONE

He says, you know, LikE a LIaR

Wwx: there’s no need to like a person that much. Isn’t that like haltering your neck?

Idk why he’s even bothering with this

IT’S TOO LATE, WWX, YOU’RE ALREADY IN LOVE WITH LWJ

THERE’S NO GOING BACK

Now all three yunmeng sibs have a moment

Nothing super important happening

BUT THEN we cut to LWJ at the cloud recesses

We see that HE’S BROKEN INTO THE FORBIDDEN CHAMBER

He’s reading FORBIDDEN BOOKS IN THE FORBIDDEN CHAMBER

This, my friends, is the first time we see LWJ deliberately break the rules for wwx, the first time he questions an order and decides to go against it

AND IT WILL NOT BE THE LAST‼️

And that’s all the WangXiantics for this episode

They were all second-hand WangXiantics, tho

People talking around the subject rather than addressing it directly and our boys didn’t share screen time at all.

I’m giving it 6/10. Mostly bc wwx was adorable asking jyl that question and lwj takes his first foray into delinquency!

Return to Masterpost

[vagabcnds]

i have tossed around making this post for months now, gone back and forth with myself and my friends about if it would even be worth posting this. honestly, i don’t know if telling my side of this is going to do any good, but i think it’s time that i added some more information to this whole situation so that even more people can see that our friends (and i use that term with as much sarcasm as possible) @seattlehqrpg​ , as well as her other rp @canterlotislandhq​​ , have not changed, and will not change. this is indeed another psa about this woman, but with some more information and one on one conversations with the woman. 

hey hi, hello, so, my name is maig, i’ve been around the rpc for over a decade, and right now you might recognize my multifandom : @hiddenwashington​ . we’re an appless multifandom that i started up two years ago. and over those two years, we have dealt with jasmine, jazzy, jackie, jacqueline, whatever j name she wants to call herself this time, on and off, for that duration. 

and just to clear up some information from other psas, i do not believe this is the same nova/jazzy that was terrorizing groups last year with attacking and fighting admins. we’ve spoken with j multiple times, as well as jazzy/nova, and honestly i can tell for sure these are not the same people. unfortunately, there is more than one bad egg in the rpc.

i have a ton of screenshots, so forgive me for not using them all. a link to a google drive will be at the end of this, for all of the screenshots i have of stolen asks, interactions, etc. but i’ll just be using key information for this specific post. or else we’ll be here all day.

when we first encountered j (we’ll just use “j” for now since she focuses on whatever name we call her more than the content of the psas. and all her aliases start with it idk), we thought she was just another person who wanted to join but sort of went about it the wrong way. we first got an anon on the main, asking if our current ginny (that being me) would be willing to give her up. because j wanted to play her. 

we had gotten an anon asking about if we were welcoming towards people with social anxiety (or something like that. it’s been two years now since this all happened so specifics are a little fuzzy. like i said we’ve been dealing with her for so long.) i pretty much hit her with “i’m not willing to drop her because i still want to play her but hmu on my character account and we can chat about other characters for you to play”. i had no idea that answering it would lead us down this rabbit hole i’m writing about today. we sorta chatted, she kinda just rambled to me about how she wanted to write someone not like her so she could have a challenge. valid. i tried helping out, i didn’t really know what fandoms she was into so i said what i could and then went onto the main. when i got back onto my account, she had taken it upon herself to critique my portrayal of ginny, asking if she would ever say ‘dick’. she kept messaging me, sandwiching that comment between other questions. i told her i didn’t appreciate unsolicited critiques. i tried to move past it but she kept at me about it. telling me she hadn’t read the books in 10 years. and only read one. the last one, in 3 hours. idk overall it was a weird conversation and i sort of thought that was the end of it. 

honestly, i’m not gonna spend a TON of time on this already too long psa going on about every interaction we had with her, every crazy thing she said. most importantly, we accepted her in, thinking she was just a little wild but us talking to her covered it. she ended up going in active over easter or spring break or something, wanted to take up another character, we told her to wait to pick her activity up. ya know, standard admin business. and then she started attacking us. telling us we didn’t care about her, about what she went through not having a computer or whatever. she started sending us anons about how her friend stole her money and we don’t care about her and we all hate her so why should she stay. it was kinda insane. again, check the google doc for all that. she ended up leaving, we got some anons about how she never joined other rps because of admins like us. just random things here and there, some anons about how dare we talk to people like we did. just random shit that really only she could come up with. but we had an rp to run, lives to get on with, tv shows to binge, idk fam. life goes on. 

honestly, we sort of forgot about this whole mess for like close to a year? that was when we started getting ims. from her. we knew bc it was the same accounts as before. she uses the same ones over and over, it’s easy to keep track of her. it’s sort of why we never felt the need to bring anything up, we always thought she was just stealing from us and we knew when it was her and when to refuse to accept the questions. this is where we enter phase two of hidden’s journey with “j” : the thief. 

this is one of our earliest encounters. before she started sending them on anon. 

(for some quick context, she would send us questions for fcs, ask if a character was open and then go around trying to poach our members for her group)

tw suicidal thoughts for this next picture 

honestly this goes on for like 10 more pictures, so instead of spamming here, the full conversation is in the google drive under the folder : a fight that almost was

she eventually goes on to call me out as the admin talking to her, i tell her again to message me off the main so that we could get back to actually admining our group. she hits me up, calls me “a cute ginny mun”, and then proceeds to ask me to help her fill out Her Own Application for ginny for her own group!! 

the tiktok video of “did a full one eightyyy” is all that is going through my head from this specific encounter. 

anyways. this is when the stealing really amped up, for not just us, but for the entire rpc. around this time, we had stupidly let her back into the group, i had wanted to keep my eye on her personally. see what she was stealing from the inside. idk i was dumb. this is also around the time the first psa about her came around. 

enter, phase three. it’s similar to phase two, but this time, “j” must tell everyone she is in fact Not A Thief™

so, during this time, it was around may of last year? while she was in the group, she started stealing more, we were catching her in the act, and we eventually had to kick her out of hidden. it’s not really a shock but ya know. gotta do what you gotta do. 

she was going by jasmine at the time. anyways. this is also before her current group @seattlehqrpg​ , when she still had @manilahq and @forgottenfriendshiphq or whatever she changed that too. she was getting a ton of “hate” over there. mainly anons telling her to stop stealing from other creators. valid. 

anyways, she would blame us for all of the stealing, that we were the true thieves. idk we were her scapegoats for a long time. i can confirm to you all now, i have never, nor have any of my admins, sent her any messages to steal fcs or anything to “attack” her. honestly we try to forget she exists but she just makes it so hard to ignore her with all of this. 

anyways, this has been our song and dance with “j” for a while now. we get an anon, we answer, she steals from us in a matter of hours. i’m sure everyone can attest to that similar situation. i mean, here’s just like a couple instances. i have hundreds in the google docs, dating back years. this behavior doesn’t change.

i mean, she has even gone as far as to steal our plot. sure, it’s not exactly original. every multifandom somehow brings all these characters to a city by magic or something. but the mention of the witch, the alternate universe city, the memories. it just all around reads plagiarism. 

so, check the google doc for more evidence i guess if you really need to! 

but, some things we’ve noticed, beyond her just stealing asks and plots and EVENTS ??? AND NOW TASKS ??? check out this post for the tasks, and this other psa for the event. because that shit is so fucked. 

she has also straight up stolen replies and claimed them as her own. my friend and fellow admin, was in her rp for a hot minute, and played pacifica northwest. (some information is crossed out for privacy) this was from us talking about the plagiarism, of her stealing from my friend while “j” was in hidden, which we both admin.

this is her post

and this is "j”’s, while she was in hidden.

i mean, same gif and everything friends. 

she constantly goes on about how she doesn’t look at other rps, how she doesn’t have time, that she’s running five other groups, but honey, we’re running those groups for you with all the stealing!! i mean, just as further proof that she is constantly looking at other groups, including hidden, to an obsessive amount. a member left her group (who then went and joined us we believe), and this was her unfollow for them. (i feel so sorry for that member to be called out like this?? how uncomfortable do you have to make your former and current members???)

and hidden’s character count that same day ??? coincidence, i think not.

listen, this isn’t meant to stir up more drama, i know it will and that’s kinda why i put this off. everyone had sort of said what needed to be said? it didn’t feel necessary to repeat the same shit we all knew. but with more of this happening, with her stealing plots, tasks and events. it felt like this was the time to strike, to get this awareness back up. she needs to stop, and if we all ban together, maybe we can stop it? i don’t know. but i have hope that this can all change if we have each other’s backs. 

this has been hiddenwashington’s side of the story, i’m sure there are still more groups out there with stories or stolen asks. and i am sorry to anyone who has had to deal with her. but just, do yourselves a favor and look out for anyone with a j alias, 21+. she/her, from pst. who also uses “RPG” a lot. 

a lot of this stuff is old, but she’s still doing this in @seattlehqrpg​​ i just grabbed these screenshots because it’s what i had on hand. but anyways. here is the link to the google drive with all of our screenshots we have complied.

if you have any questions, comments, concerns, what have you: my inbox (including anons), ims and everything are open and i am more than happy to chat!! please come talk with me about anything!!!

stay safe, and thanks for joining me on this season of To Catch a Plagiarizer. 

[gayvlad-remade]

how does your family handle you being trans? if this is too personal I'm sorry

hi! it is kinda personal but also online i don’t hide this so i’ll answer!

psa: this got SO long, i just didn’t feel like half assing a response bc i think in case you’re asking this to find some sort of solace if you’re trans too, i want to be as honest as possible. also, i think i just needed to talk about this lmao

my mother is trying, she tries to call me nico and he when we’re alone. she messes up a lot and she always calls me my deadname and she and ‘female gendered’ words when we’re with the rest of my family and most other people. she never rejected me though, she was super scared at first and literally cried to my therapist and everything. we never talked about it, always avoided the subject. it’s still hard to talk about and she never says the word trans and avoids most specific things/terms, u know. but it’s better now and she supported me doing what i needed to do to feel comfortable, so starting my transition. it’s pretty hard to deal with her almost constant misgendering because it’s been 3.5 years since i came out to her but there’s not much to do, it is what it is and i have to remind myself that it could be worse and she still loves me.

i don’t have a good relationship with my father. we barely have a relationship now, actually. im not even sure he knows im on T now (we live together btw, we just don’t really talk). the only thing he’s said about me being trans after i had my mum tell him was that im not masculine and that everyone has doubts about this (lmao no??) but it doesn’t mean anything and also other fucked up stuff that i don’t wanna talk about. and the only other time i tried to tell him that im a guy he slapped me. so... yeah, he doesn’t support me and i don’t know if he ever will. i mean he hated me before i came out and now it’s just the same, maybe a bit worse.

the situation with my brother is complicated. he's disabled, which im mentioning bc his is an intellectual disability, among other things it makes it hard for him to handle and accept changes, especially big ones, and he has some difficulties understanding complicated concepts. i don’t really know how to speak about this in a way that im sure won’t be offensive and that will get my point across, so i’ll just say that without external help, it’s hard for him to understand my being trans. and he doesn’t get external help bc my parents don’t call me the right name and pronouns, don’t speak about it, etc. so basically he calls me my deadname, sister, she. i tried to explain to him, with the help of professionals too, a couple of times, but... yeah, not much progress has been made. he does link my name, nico, to me though, bc it’s my name on facebook and if he hears someone call me that he’ll understand that it’s me. but he gets confused and corrects me when i use ‘male gendered’ words and stuff like that. so yeah... i love my brother more than anyone else in the world which is probably why it hurts so so much not being able to get him to understand my true self. who knows, maybe one day, if my parents start helping.

as for the rest of my family, i think only one of my cousins knows. we don’t really talk except birthdays and christmas, but when she wishes me happy bday she calls me nico and she’s shown no sign of having any problem with me being trans. idk if she told her sister tbh, i haven’t talked to her sister in a long time. im actually... kinda really stressed about christmas this year. it’s WAY too early to stress over this lol and yet here i am. it’s just, i’ll be on T for i think 9 months by then so changes will probably be noticeable and idk what i’ll do... i don’t even know how we’ll celebrate christmas actually. since i was little, we’ve been celebrating together (mostly my mum’s side of the family) at our house, but last year we didn’t bc my grandpa was really sick and he was about to pass away, he couldn’t leave the house, so only the 4 of us went to his house. and now idk, im guessing we’ll go back to the usual thing, but who knows. and like... should i just... show up with a deeper voice and be like ‘surprise!’ or should i come out before? how do u come out to all those people who u never talk to? :// im Stressed. i guess we’ll see

sorry this was so long i like oversharing sjdsk

[myassbrokethefall]

I'm halfway through s2 of Sex Education. I decided to take a break cause while there are storylines and relationships I'm invested in, I have no patience for love triangles and the like atm. I remember you posting something about a disappointing twist for GA's character so I looked it up because idk when/if I'll pick up the show again and woah, I did not expect that AT ALL. I don't think it makes much sense and it does seem like an unfortunate trend for her characters [tbc]

[cont] (obviously the thing itself is not bad, and I'm sure the Sex Education writers will do it better than txf's - the bar is low in that regard anyway - but it still leaves an unpleasant taste in my mouth)

Yeah. Honestly I would not NOT be on board with it necessarily, if it weren’t for the UNFORTUNATE context of the repetitive grimness of the Scully situation. And especially the last “shock” twist of MS4 and Gillian’s apparent unhappiness with it. And even all mixed in, for me at least, with the withholding of the script and all that bullshit. Just like some ugly gendered power dynamics shit. The tentacles of CC continue to reach outwards. Sigh. 

While I enjoyed S2 of Sex Ed a lot overall, I found the ending frustrating on many levels. I felt they either fizzled/dropped the ball on some of the storylines, or went with bummer twists that didn’t really feel earned to me. I also felt like they have not completely nailed down the tone that they want for the show, and it vacillated way too hard for me between “fun raunch” and “earnest PSA,” at the end especially. And very much that they did the sitcom thing of picking certain beats that would be the plot and kind of forcing those through, and just letting everything else that they set up nonsensically fall by the wayside. 

Most egregious example for me (Sex Education S2 spoilers ahead, obviously): Jean’s confidential notes getting spread all over school (BY THE HEADMASTER, which was straight-up ridiculous to me no matter how much a mustachioed villain they are making him), and this EXTREMELY egregious confidentiality breach of dozens of minor children’s sensitive personal health information making barely an impact beyond furthering the plot of the rivalry between Jean and the headmaster in the context of his wife leaving him. Like, this would have major MAJOR ramifications for everyone, the headmaster should like, go to jail for doing that, Jean should have been WAAAAAYYYYY more upset about what that does to her professional credibility and how it affected the lives of literally every one of her advisees at the school and how many of them maybe will never trust a therapist ever again...and yet it seems to barely register with her, or with anyone else. And is more set up like, haha what a big disaster oh noes! This crazy high school. And instead the big climactic conflict with Jean at the end is...she’s upset that Otis was doing the sex clinic at school. Which is also not good? I guess? But I feel would be like a tenth of the badness of her fucking patient notes getting stolen and her being made to look like an unprofessional, incompetent, unethical therapist? To a degree far far beyond “grr that mean headmaster, what a jerk”? But they wanted an ending conflict between Jean and Otis so they like, picked that one. Thematically it makes sense since that was the start of the whole series, but in a like, stuff happening to people way, I feel the correct scale for that issue would have been a mild “Otis, I know you were trying to help and I’m sure I have myself to blame for this in a lot of ways, but, it’s not ethical to do that and certainly not to make money from it.” Instead of this BREACH OF TRUST!!! I CAN NO LONGER SPEAK TO YOU stuff that it didn’t really warrant, to my mind. 

My other beef was that so much (rightly so) was made of Aimee’s trauma and how it affected her in lingering, unexpected ways, and that was heartwarming and lovely to see her friends and her boyfriend be understanding and supportive of her and help her work through it. ...And then, during the over-the-top sex musical (here I am agreeing with the mean headmaster that this was highly inappropriate for a high school...), literal dick puppets are being dangled unexpectedly next to people’s faces in the dark in the audience, and there was no concern that THIS might be traumatic to Aimee? Or like, anyone else who might be an assault survivor and might not enjoy being startled by dicks? This is what I mean by the tone being inconsistent. And I know life is not tonally consistent, and people don’t always react in ways that others or even they expect. But after going through that whole arc with Aimee I was kinda like “no concerns at all about this eh?”

Anyway. I really like the show a lot but I wondered if they were rushed writing the ending or something. I have more BEEFS with some of the storylines but those are some of the bigger ones. 

But yeah, the pregnancy thing, while it felt sort of like cheap shock drama that the show frankly should be too good for, was not at the top of my list of complaints. At least, I do have a great, and I think justified, hope that whatever they do with that plot, it will be done with more sensitivity, intelligence, nuance, and comprehensibility of how the female body works than on XF. 

(And in general, this is a continuing series, so any issues that I have with the storylines as “resolved,” they will still have plenty of chances to elaborate on in the next season.)

[kinkymagnus]

a lil psa real quick

ok imma be real pretty much all my content from now on is probably gonna be trans magnus? it’s weird, i just can’t picture him as cis now. at all. and it shouldn’t be the default anyway, you know? but seriously, now that i’ve got the confidence to talk about trans magnus content, specifically with malec smut, it’s like i can’t go back dlkfgjdgflkh 

there will still be some already partially written stuff that was cis magnus when i started it and it’s too late to change without rewriting most if not all of it, but like, for the most part, it’s probably gonna be mostly afab trans magnus. i might dabble into amab trans magnus (not transfem so much as nb and stuff?) but we’ll see how that goes, idk. 

also i’d like to address i’ve gotten like... a lot of messages (well i say a LOT, it’s really only a few but it really feels like a lot, you know?) being... concerned?

i think some of it really was an honest concern about having their dysphoria triggered by explicit trans magnus content. like some of it was totally not malicious. but some of it also felt like this sort of condescending feeling. like should you really be writing this? isn’t it harmful? maybe you should stop. like, me writing about trans magnus and like, sex with a trans man who’s comfortable in his body, is... bad. like i can see how it might be dysphoric for some people but to me it feels... idk, empowering? but i understand not everyone sees it that way. but asking me if i’m triggered by it, like i should be, and asking me to write less of it, that kind of thing, is like.... no?

like... no. i clearly don’t feel bad about it? i write it the way i write it because i enjoy it, and if you don’t like it, don’t read it. and if you can’t enjoy it because it does trigger your dysphoria then i’m truly sorry, but you don’t have to read it. i do tag it, and it’s not on me to stop writing it, or write it differently. 

not to mention some outright hate, although thankfully very little, with things like “magnus is cis not trans in canon” and “magnus wouldn’t [x] you freak stop projecting” and “this is homophobic because alec is gay” and etc. there isn’t a lot of that, but even if i haven’t gotten a lot of it, i know it’s sadly not a very uncommon sentiment. 

anyway, this is a warning/psa/whatever now: i’m going to be writing mostly trans magnus content from now on. particularly nsfw stuff. i’ll probably answer asks and fill prompts with that in mind, too. so if you don’t like it... i guess you either gotta unfollow me or put up with it? im sorry fghfgh

[puppyluver256]

Okay, so since I mentioned it, here’s some ideas I’ve for for an SFM x Persona AU.

Flower Kid’s the wild card (going by the rules for P3 and onward for this as that’s what I’m more familiar with), meaning they have the contract with the Velvet Room and can use multiple Personas.

Most of the Persona users are gonna be the kids (some of ‘em aged up so that they’d all be in the same school, not for any weird reasons), with only one adult I can think of atm who’d have one and also be on the protag team.

There’d have to be some finagling with social link/confidant assignment because there are 22 major arcana and 24 viable SFM characters counting FK and Habit, but thankfully P3 FES and P4G provided some extras from non-standard tarot decks to make everyone fit yaaaayyy

Storyline ideas: FK is sent to live with a friend of their mom in a small town for a while for as-of-yet undetermined reasons. That friend is Kamal because I both want him to be heavily involved in the “main” plot and need someone to pass on the details of a certain event that unknowingly kickstarted the story’s major conflict.

Apparently a few years ago his former boss (and budding love interest) just...vanished without a trace. No one had any clue where he went and it was the talk of the town for a while after, but the disappearance was never solved. Kamal believes he’s still alive somewhere, even though hardly anyone else thinks so given the timespan between then and present.

First night they’re staying at Kamal’s place, the TV in FK’s room acts up a bit. Starts playing this weird late-night puppet show for some reason? (yeah you can tell where most of my Persona love is funneled here, Midnight Channel homage combined with the PSAs hehehehe but that’s as far as it goes, we’re not jumping into TVs here)

FK goes to school and meets two of their classmates, Nat and Trevor, and Trev immediately starts getting into the conspiracy theory stuff while Nat’s tryin’ to get him to not overload the new kid. Though even she has to admit this town has had some weird things happen, like that old couple a few months ago who disappeared only for their dead bodies to show up again days later, teeth gone and flowers somehow growing from their insides? And someone else has gone missing lately, some real estate lady that no one liked. Guess who shows up the next day in the same condition as the old couple? Whu-oh.

One thing leads to another and this trio somehow stumbles into an alternate dimension of sorts. The “other world” in this AU consists of gardens that find a person with serious pent-up emotions and target what’s really eating them inside and bringing them down in order to, well, prune those bad feels for lack of better phrasing. The shadows there believe they’re making people happy, but you can probably guess that ain’t the case

This is where they get their Personas! Idk what Personas they’d have (except I think it’d be funny if Nat’s was Alucard because vamp fam jokes and idk if he’s this way in anything else he shows up in but the one I vaguely know is half vamp too) but regardless FK, Nat, and Trevor are the first three of the Persona-using protag team.

In a vein similar to P4′s floating cards, P5′s masks, and *ahem* P3′s method (not describing for reasons of suicidal imagery, even though there’s no actual death involved), the Persona-users in this AU get flowers that appear on their chests while in the gardens. And yes, the flowers I imagine they’d have are the ones I’ve been putting in the backgrounds of my Habitician illustrations. :3c

There’s this weird long-haired kid that keeps showing up and only FK can see him for some reason? He seems to know things about the gardens (which he collectively refers to as Eden) and gives them advice for a while. He’s very protective of that potted plant he carries around, too...

Social Links abound! So many Social Links. Everyone gets a Social Link!

Igor remains unchanged, because he’s friggin’ Igor that’s why. The Velvet Room assistant this time is a more human-looking variant of the Carlas, specifically the fortune-telling one. Her hair would start off the same color as every other Velvet Room assistant sans Marie, but at some point she’d wanna get it dyed the same color that her original SFM counterpart’s is. I imagine she’d be a lot like Elizabeth in that she’d not just have fusion requests but also want random items or to visit the town with FK for funsies.

Oh yeah, I should probably talk about Habit in this AU, huh. Well...let’s just say Kamal was right about him still being alive and kicking. ;-)

(spoilers he discovered Eden as well, started calling it the Habitat and set about making it his own in order to make people happy, or that was his intention and now it’s just spiraling all kinds of wrong)

FK’s ultimate Persona and Habit’s? Nearly the exact same. Think Yu’s Izanagi vs Adachi’s Magatsu Izanagi, except Habit’s version of this shared Persona isn’t even close to being an Obviously Evil Duplicate. Just slightly altered aesthetic, maybe a shifted color scheme, nothing too drastically different.

If anyone has any more ideas, especially for potential Personas the characters could have, feel free to throw ‘em at me! I really wanna start thinking of what arcana they’d all be too, but I’m confident enough in my knowledge of tarot to figure that out pretty well on my own. As both a NiGHTS fan and Persona fan, I probably know too much about tarot than anyone who doesn’t actually use the cards reasonably should. (and yeah, if anyone’s curious about the NiGHTS thing, fan favorite boss Jackle throws tarot cards atcha and that’s how I got interested in the subject XD)