#sorry. pardon my rambling ass

[momentomori24]

I don't believe liking immoral and downright evil characters says anything about you as a person, but I think acting like this definitely does.

"The HH fanbase will defend Valentinoto the moon and back" this and "Val is praised by a majority of the fandom" that, except said majority of the fandom fucking HATES that moth and fans have been harassed, had their art scribbled on to "fix" it, repeatedly called "rapist apologists" and "abuse romanticisers", get questioned or accused about condoning him irl, received graphic death/rape threats and are in general mistreated by the fandom. A Val cosplayer was mistreated and had a gun pulled on them IN REAL LIFE not even a year ago. Even the VA got repeatedly asked or assumed to be like the character he plays because "why else would he want to voice a rapist??" and told they deserve for choosing that role (fucking WILD btw). People that like Valentino as a character are the minority of the fandom, and even there NO ONE defends him. We all realise he's a disgusting individual whose actions shouldn't be defended in any capacity. What kinda bullshit lie is that?

I'm also in the Mouthwashing fandom, and it too has a bunch of issues. Infantilising Curly and minimising his actions, making Swansea to be better than he actually is and ignoring that he knew of the SA, people still debating or not realising that Jimmy raped Anya in the first place, shipping Jimmy and Curly (which isn't even a bad thing or a real problem but this person would see it that way), ect. But sure, conveniently don't bring that up. Anything for the Hazbin Hotel hate, right 💀

These next comments especially piss me off (nevermind how they're talking about an abuse survivor which is gross already). This might be a hot take and I don't care if that's the case, but I think people refusing to call Jimmy by name and excluding him from the cast is not show of a "good" fandom, actually. Jimmy has a lot more to him besides being a rapist. Rape culture, toxic masculinity, capitalistic exploitation, misogyny, male dominance-- there's sooo much more to explore and discuss about his character besides him being a rapist. And he's an incredibly disturbing character in a fucking horror game. If you can only refer to him by some stupid nickname (which takes away the seriousness of his character imo), ignore the significance of his role and themes in the story and the rest of his character and reduce him to a single trait that's BAD. That's not a good thing, and in fact, probably makes you worse than the people that do like his character because they can at least separate fiction and reality and not scrap well written disturbing characters for the sake of "comfort" or moral standing (again, in a horror game of all things). People shouldn't feel bad for liking Jimmy because he's a very good character, and ignoring that completely and acting like there aren't people who could like him... kinda sucks?

Moving over, Valentino is not and has NEVER been portrayed in a positive light in the show. I can't wrap my head around people that genuinely think that. Whenever I hear people say that the arguments I always see are "he shouldn't be attractive" and "he's just a cartoon villain" and "he acts silly and quirky even tho he's a rapist" among other things, and I don't think these people realise they're spouting eugenics bullshit and demonstrating that they don't know anything about his character simultaneously. No, Valentino isn't a "positive" portrayal of a rapist because he's attractive (way to tie morality to appearance btw). No, Valentino isn't a positive portrayal of a rapist because he acts goofy and funny and silly. Those traits are intentional and important to his character. Val is the Overlord of lust and depravity, hell's most famous pimp. His beauty is how he lures in unsuspecting sinners, and his personality is how he gains their trust and gets them to sell their souls for him to exploit (notice how Angel signed his soul away willingly). He's supposed to be appealing. He's supposed to be charming. He's entire persona is meant to be disarming. If he were like Jimmy or just a one-note unlikeable guy, his position in the show and his relationships with the characters wouldn't make sense, so he isn't. That doesn't make him a more positive portrayal or anything, it just means he's more fleshed out and written more complex than you want him to be. He's a very real depiction of an abuser, of their two-faced nature and how being attractive and charming to others doesn't make you less of an abusive monster to someone else. For context, I have been abused by someone extremely similar to Val, so his depiction feels very real to me and it's extremely tiring seeing a bunch of assholes who have probably not even seen the show or have been abused act like he's "romanticised" or "unrealistic" or "bad" simply because he was written by Vivziepop (who's ALSO an SA survivor like what is wrong with you 💀).

This is a broader point and not entirely related to this specific case, but we don't give people shit like this over people liking murderers and serial killers-- acting like all a sudden liking a rapist character says something negative about their writing or about the people that like them is INCREDIBLY stupid. People don't talk like this about Alastor and Vox-- who are both VERY despicable people. Both of them are also abusers among other horrible things, but they're not (or at least Alastor isn't) rapists so they're "not as bad". This is a sentiment I see all the time in both the fandom and hatedom whenever Valentino discourse comes back up, and this line of logic that rapists are a unique evil that can't be liked as characters in fiction but murderers and cannibals and serial killers are totally Ok is so dangerous and backwards. Liking evil characters says nothing about you as a person aside from the fact that you're a freak in the fun way. Liking evil characters but then going after others who do as well because you consider their character "too evil" and watering down the crimes of yours to justify liking them says a lot about you tho. Saying that the characters you like says something negative you in general does too.

We seriously need to stop bringing morality into fiction and saying that "normal" people wouldn't like certain immoral characters. We need to stop ostracising people for their "problematic" ships, proudly brag about ostracising them and justify it by calling them "weirdos". We need to stop saying villains are "badly written" because they're not written how YOU want them to be written, regardless of whether or not that opinion is valid (which in this case it isn't). We need to stop putting fandoms in some weird competition with each other about how characters are written and spit on people who actually enjoy them, are comforted by them or felt seen by them (gestures at the whole Angel dust situation barely a week ago). And honestly we need to stop giving attention to people like this, who spread a false narrative and kick others down for being fans of a media they don't like or know squat about for whatever reason. Who spread lies about the media or fandom in question in way that's blatantly in bad faith.

This crappy post is sitting a 17k while I'm typing this. The way people can just say ANYTHING about Hazbin Hotel and its fandom-- doesn't matter if it's valid or true or if they watched the show or know anything about the fandom at all, it just has to be negative-- and others will eat it up no questions asked needs to be studied at this point. We saw that in the months the show first aired. We saw that with the Angel Dust video. We're seeing this again here. I don't think we should be harassing anybody over fiction and in general (and needless to say don't harass any of these people) but calling out bad actors who pull shit like this more often and making it uncool to shittalk Hazbin Hotel and its fandom (and any fandom from unapologetically dark media where the people deal with enough bullshit already) for no reason and in bad faith is a change I'd be down with. Like, wash your mouth of its name and disappear into the shadow realm, goddamnit.

[solarpunkani]

Thanks so so much for recommending me, sunnyside, I really am honored!

I'll be honest, when I'm not rambling on about gardening, my blog is mostly just reblogs from other Super Cool People I follow!

@fennopunk, @solarpunkcast, @practicalsolarpunk, and @solarpunkwitchcraft are great blogs that I follow for more informational/current events and news posts, along with more general solarpunk inspiration and ideas!

@turtlesandfrogs, @plantyhamchuk, and @planty-ankylosaurus are some of my favorite gardening blogs! My personal gardening blog is @anipgarden, I sometimes write about my own gardening and ramble about pollinator gardening there too!

Welcome to the community, cyberbug!

Hey, i love your blog, do you have any other solarpunk blogs that you follow? I wanna solarpunk up my dash, and thought maybe you'd have some reccs? Anyway love and peace on planet Earth ☮🌍

Hello little one! Im glad your having a good time!! Here are some other awesome people to follow!! @is-solarpunk Is really great at covering a mutlide of topics from writing and community building! Tech and adapting seems to be a focus and I love them for this <3

@solarpunkani Is one I adore and follow closely, general solarpunk stuff is found here. Good vibes, gardening and community work are all highlighted and are a beam of sunshine to my dash <3

@the-solarpunk-revolution is another general one with sunshine vibes and in my mind is like a tresure hunter going through the wild looking for beautiful peices to share with us all

@solarpunk-century is one with art, enviroment and news highlights. They are a little more on the visual end of the spectrum rather then just straight theory which is good, sweetness and i love to see whenever they are around <3

@left-reminders and @anarchblr are a little less on the sugary sweet side if you need a more dark chocolate approch to things, they are lovely stuff that is vital to what I do and think about regularly.

There is also of course @solarpunkmagazine  and @solarpunkpresentspodcast as external solarpunk media who arent just Tumblr bound worth checking out!

Of course I could go on and on foever honestly, but this will help you start to build your web of solarpunk love and connection. If anyone else has a fave they'd like to reccommend add it in tags or comments please Im also always looking to expand my web too!

[canonically47]

Dawn of the Final Review

DISVENTURE CAMP: ALL-STARS - THE FINAL REVIEW, AKA: THANK FUCK IT'S OVER!!!

SPOILERS!!! (no duh.)

this is a very long ramble btw. so so long. be aware!

the scene of marcus and nina in the cave was so useless i almost laughed. nina's delivery was so bad i giggled

tom's little shake was so fun, it's too bad the entirety of DSVC is in the same exact total drama style and ever took any fun creative liberties with their animation like those

thank you ONC for making the entirety of ashley's arc revolve around jake and his relationship drama, i totally wasn't interested in learning more about her. that half-assed background story does not make her deeper and in fact makes her appear even more shallow. your priorities are obvious and your treatment of your female characters is disgusting.

yay huntally!! so glad they got development as well! they were so fun for the whole time they argued

"you grew more than anyone here" ONC trying to make us think anyone had a worthy arc is laughable, but ALLY, GROWING AS A PERSON??? BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

"i'm sorry for being insufferable sometimes" "sometimes?" realest hunter moment ever

huntessally moment :( this is what we could've had :( fuck you genuinely ONC

ELLIE MOMENT ELLIE MOMENT ELLIE MOMENT IT'S ELLIE IT'S ELLIE TIME OMG I LOVE YOU ELLIE MY BELOVED ELLIE I LOVE YOU ELLIE ELLIE ELLIE

ew ally I MEAN yay ally... ally development moment... this is not at all half-assed or uninteresting...

LMFAOAOOAOAOAOAOOAOAOAO riya having nobody interested

ALEC MOMENT ALEC MOMENT ALEC MOMENT YAYAYAYAYYAYA ALEC ALEC ALEC

jake not choosing tom was fucking HILARIOUS. thank you jake

ewewewewewew why tom ewew ew why the fucking puppy eyes.. you're a grown ass man.... why is ashley entertaining this.. ONC WHY DO YOU FUCKING WRITE LIKE THIS

"why is this the most stressful thing i've ever done?" cuz you're a fucking idiot???

oh the poor patreons that waste their money on this shit :// sorry guys, my condolences again!! <33

this is going to be so historically inaccurate i can feel it

ok strong start, interesting premise

GO TEAM JAKE

i just know they put them in these costumes for fan service... they're so historically inaccurate it hurts like.. actually

YAOI MOMENT??? I BEG YOUR FINEST FUCKING PARDON???????

ONC trying to be hip with the kids is crazy

alellie crumbs omg i miss you dynamic duo

"don't waste your time being my shields" that's...that's their job.....??????????

alec would NOT back down from that

OMG OMGOMGOGMG FIORE FIORE MOMENT FATHER-DAUGHTER MOMENT I'M CRYING

OMGOMGOMG THE WAY ALEC GRABBED HER I'M GOING TO SOB

"YOU COULD'VE BEEN KILLED" "okay, now i'm hurt" MY LOVELIESSSSSSS I'M SOBBINGNGNNGNGNG I MISSED THEM SO MUCHHHHH WAHHHHHHHH

i'm ignoring what's happening to continue ranting about them I LOVE THEM SO MUCHHCHCHCHCH

YES ALEC GO KING

FIORE IS AN ICON

THEY'RE BOTH AAAAAAAAAAURHGHGHGHGH

WHAT IF I SOBBEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

YESSS GABBY MOMENT GABBY MOMENT I LOVE YOU GABBY GABBY MOMENT

not to be a bitch but this is kind of the most boring finale ever, they're not actively doing anything, they're just trying not to get hit, it's annoying how they're not actually like. having to work for this actively

oh my god riya i will kill you

GABBY NOOOOOOO

i love how the scar is totally inaccurate

OH MY GOD TOM ARE YOU OKAY

jake run tf are you doing

...............oh.

riya you are a MOTHERFUCKER.

GO OFF ELLIE

i fucking love you gabellie

i love how nobody is volunteering to help riya, at least ONC know how hated she has become both in and out of the show

"i just didn't think riya would go out of her way to screw me over" "do you hear yourself?" realest tomjake moment ever

urhghghghgh i just had to say tomjake moment...

EW WHAT WAS THAT SHUSHING...

they're disgusting. not for being gay but for being allo

TREMILY MOMENT!!!

what was that face trevor made lmao they couldn't afford a :3 face or what

ELLIE AND JAKE MOMENT?????

FUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAAAAAAAAA

THEY'RE SO BACK THEY'RE SO BACK THEY'RE SO BACK

yay finally they're actually doing something! we all know jake is winning come on it's kids cartoon logic that the one without the upgrade always wins

GO JAKEEE !!!

OMG BOTH HIS BOYFRIENDS CHEERED ON HIM JAJAKEDEN REAL <333

...aaand he's down. strong... start.......???

alec with his hand on fiore's shoulder :( <3

YAY GO JAKE!!!

the slow-motion looks so goofy lol

YAY JAKE

LMFAO HUNTER WITH THE 😃👍

sorry jake's wheezing is so funny to me

JAKEEE GET UP PLEASE GET UP

MAN FUCK TOM JUST GET UP

i hate how they panned to ashley after that, like yasss tell us her only role was being jake's bff !!!

"friendship speeches" she hates tomjake more than me iconic

FUCK HER UP JAKE

FUCK HER UPPPPP

NO

PLEASE. DO NOT.

.....oh my god.

oh. my god.

they actually did that.

...what the fuck.

jake :(

jake... what the fuck his whining is getting to me fuck i love him so much he's :(((

NOBODY IS HAPPY FOR HER I'M SO GLAD

"another incredible season" yeah sure

ugh whatever at least it's over who cares

oh yay wishley! who the fuck cares.

FIORE AND ALEC HOW I LOVE YOU SO <333

OMGGG LAKE AND JAIDEN <333

man yk what fuck it, i'll be the bigger person and admit tomjake was cute this episode. it doesn't take away from the fact that they fucking sucked all season, but it gives them some points in my mind. maybe in another universe ONC could've actually written them well from start to finish, but for now, i'll take my crumbs and admit i can fid them somewhat cute

not letting go of arospec tom though. never.

sobbing /pos <333333333

crazy how they got three polycules in the same shot woah. huntessally, tomjajakeden & gabgrellie real?!??!?!?!?!!!

they're literally girlfriends

FUCK YES CONNOR

YES STAND YOUR GROUND MY MAN

"i won" "was it worth it?" FUCK. YES. FUCK!! YES!!!!

"have a nice life, riya." THIS IS THE ENDING YOU DESERVE BITCH

HELL YESSS HELL YES HELL YEAH FUCK YES

not even mad she won !!! bc at least they despise her

yay quit i do't want more seasons

why is oliver so pressed

"the producers won't cancel the show if you leave" FUCK.

ughhh trevek again...

HOLY SHIT ROSA MARIA AND SOFIA

OH MY GOD LILL AND NICK??? HELLO??? HELL-FUCKING-O???

OH MY GOD :((( THIS SEGMENT :(((

OWHWUWUWHWHW... HUNTALLY...

TOMJAKE AND MIRIAM...

OH GRETT...

ORUHGHGHGHGHGH FIORE AND ALEC ALEC SHAVED :(( ALEC SHAVED :((((( HE MOVED ON FINALLY

lmao fuck you riya

wanna bet eesha will be in the next season

oh.. the soft piano.... it's........doing something to me......................

THEY PUT TREVEK MISSING TRUMP IN THE CREDITS LMFAOAOOAOAOA

crazy how i've seen like.. all this fanart.... i fw this fandom heavy

JAKEDEN IN THE CREDITS WE WON

JAKEDEN TWICE WE WON FR

sigh. so, it's over! i definitely have a lot of... mixed feelings on this season. as you've noticed if you've kept up with my reviews, i constantly went from loving it, to hating it, to despising it with every fiber of my being, to liking it, to disliking it, and then repeating that cycle numerous times in different orders.

disventure camp: all-stars was definitely bad. sadly, no amount of sweet piano music and decently-written moments will make me forget how much i have become frustrated with this show. i would not recommend this show to anyone purely because of DCAS and its surprisingly bad quality. the writing was inconsistent and messy, the character arcs felt forced and with little to no pay-off, the ships were badly handled, the female characters were always, without fail, put down or cast aside for the male characters, the WLW couple was brushed off for the MLM ones, and so forth.

disventure camp is imperfect in every way, but i will acknowledge the fact that it is made with love (because it's not care that's for sure SORRY, sorry i'll be nice). even though i joke about how i feel bad for the patreons or those that genuinely like it and do not see its flaws, i still find myself attached to this show. i can understand why others would be, too. as a writer, i can never brush past their many, many mistakes, but i will admit they have their good moments.

they have the occasional character that escapes their wrath - jake, for example, was probably the best character this season. i've seen many complain about him because they were unable to let go of their biases, but i genuinely believe he was phenomenal. after spending so much time stuck in the same mindset, he managed to grow as a person. he befriended aiden, he got over & forgave tom, and hey, he got the boy back. their ending also makes me feel hopeful for their spin-off, even though i wish they had never gotten one because there are much more interesting characters worth exploring.

grett's arc was close to being as great as jake's, but ONC cannot really write female characters. i guess they're listening to fresh TV's teachings? she had her moments, but she was held back from true greatness. she deserved to make finale, if not win - but that's maybe biased so i'll just leave it at this lol

we got some fun friendships this season, such as ashley & jake, grett & gabby, connor & alec, and i am trying so hard to be positive right now and ignore that two of them were ruined/not carried out to their full potential because of relationship drama

okay, super positive time, I FUCKING LOVE THAT FIORE AND ALEC MADE UP. OKAY. I WAS STARTING TO LOSE HOPE SO BADLY THAT THE BEAST ALMOST MADE ME INTO A TREE (hi corn are you proud i made a OTGW reference. love u corn) BUT ALAS I CUT MYSELF FREE BECAUSE FUCK YES WE GOT THEM BACK!!! WE GOT THEM BACK!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO HAPPYYYYYYYYY <333 <333 <333

their development was probably the best relationship development in this season and i am SO. HAPPY YOU GUYS. oh my GOD. i missed them SOOO BADLY <333 that last episode REALLY fed us alec & fiore father-daughter nation holy shit i love them

i really wish things were... so, so different this season. i wanted to see actual growth in characters and relationships, less petty drama and more actual strategy, and, you know, for the winner to not be the second-placing person from the second season. that. that was bad. we can all agree that despite everyone hating on her it was bad right. like that. should not have been the ending

i wish some characters hadn't just come back to be vessels for drama. ashley and connor were only there for the development of jake and riya respectively and it kills me how obvious it is. the only reason i dislike ashley is because all she is, is jake's bff who played a small part in getting him with tom. her entire role is just to be there for a gay ship. that SUCKS.

huntessally should've also been a bigger part of the season and have gotten together. i will never not be mad about ONC not giving us the polyamorous rep they kept teasing. because c'mon why confirm them all as mspec and promote them together in social media and pride posts if you just made ally & hunter the couple and not all of them together. i mean sure i'm okay with them being '''just''' friends, not everything has to be romantic & having even MORE allos on this show would've been exhausting but. huntessally :(((

ALEC SHOULD'VE BEEN IN THE FINALE there i said my bias there it is. also fun fact before DCAS my choice for the winner was actually tom. uh now i don't even like the guy so. yea i wish we had gotten a grett-alec and someone else other than riya finale with alec winning. he deserved it before they ruined him for that tiny bit but it's okay we don't talk about it

the finale gets 7/10 and, overall, DCAS gets a 4/10. not enough decent points to get it the, if you will, passing grade. again, i will never recommend it to anyone ever. i tried to be positive - and truly there are some things i like about this show! all that screaming i did above over gabellie, fiore & alec and so forth was real excitement i promise !! - but it's a fucking trainwreck.

for my sake, i hope i do not watch disventure camp season 4. i'm probably not leaving the fandom indefinitely, i will still lurk and maybe if i get any ideas post some fic fixing this show cuz god knows we need it, but yeah. when season 4 comes out, i'm officially out of the picture. i will hopefully never rewatch the first three seasons and if i do, it should be years in the future when i will have no emotional attachment to the characters and thus not be disappointed by how bad the show is.

sooo i guess i'll still be around for a while but i will NOT be watching any new content ever. for my sake. i hope you can understand if you wanted me to share any thoughts on the spin-offs or such lol

well, this has truly been a journey. i'd be lying if i said i hated every moment of it, but i definitely did not enjoy it for the most part. however, constantly getting asks about the show - and getting to interact with you all over on @disventure-rewrite-takes - has made this so, so fun. i'll be making a separate post on the rewrite takes account about what will happen next to it :)

thank you review anon for the asks, you have been amazing, i really appreciated you coming out every other week and requesting my review, it was so so kind of you <3

thanks to the anons on the rewrite takes blog, i'll get into more detail there when i officially drop the account though, so no sappy stuff juuuust yet but tysm for being a blast you guys!!

and also friendship wins so shoutout corn @cornfields-td-nonsense for being the best and ranting & rambling with me about the episodes, leaving fun asks on the rewrite blog, and just overall putting up with me. i love you man, you're great, and i love exchanging interests, ideas, reviews, and such, roleplaying with you is awesome and i'm so grateful you listen to me yap yap yap like crazy, you're amazing and again i love you !!!!!!

so yay! disventure camp! ....i am so glad it's over holy shit it's a weight off my chest.

we're back in the sanders sides phase and i have no idea how to end this so i'll just do it thomas style no matter how cringe it is IDC HOW CRINGE IT IS!!!!!!!!!! so until next time, take it easy guys gals and non-binary pals, and PEACE OUTTTTTT <33333

[arthuluart]

Hiii - wanted to say first thing first I love your art style, it's so dynamic and fun and those color palettes? Stunning ^^

And second thing second, just some food for thought if you ever want to get angsty about Jerry and Dean, coffee by Chappell Roan sounds like it was written about their break up specifically and I can't stop thinking abt it dndnden

*Cue me losing my mind*

Hiii- they say flattery gets you everywhere and turns out with me, it gets you animatics- jkjk but I do appreciate the kind comments ^^

I’ll put up the animatic separately and take the opportunity to leave the preamble here to keep the video post neat bc until someone tells me to shut up and just post art- I’m gonna ramble… So here’s the commentary you didn’t ask for along with my favourite panels:

First off- You turned me into a big time Chappell Roan listener which is great bc I need music recs to fix my listening habits before Spotify wrapped drops. My roundup last year was shameful… Red Wine Supernova is my new dish washing song.

Even tho it’s not the song’s vibe I kept the content as silly as I could for my own sanity. I don’t love getting too deep into the serious/sad side of M+L for a few reasons but I do find it all very interesting. Point being this song was too good to pass up doing something a bit bigger for.

Ngl tho- this did have me pulling out hair at multiple points. I never colour animatics, rarely even tone them- but you mentioned colour palettes and I was determined to deliver so pardon the messy colouring but (that was the tradeoff) I did not have it in me to stay in the lines. I’m choosing to be kind to myself and opt to call it an artistic choice and not midway burnout. And nothing was gonna get me to open after effects/premiere not even the janky ass golf ball OML this only makes sense if u watch the video.

There are parts of this I’m SO happy with and others I hate. I think it’s really obvious which sections I started losing steam on but overall I lowkey like the end product. Nothing I make will ever be good/perfect- this was one hell of a practice in accepting that lmao- but I can still be ok with the work problems and all yknow? I very nearly shelved this completely bc I got so worked up about the maybe 5 panels I dislike out of 106 total. Counting them was eye opening to ask myself: you’re gonna let that small a ratio stop you from sharing this after putting in days and days of effort? The insecurity goes deep and TBH getting asks has been a nice way of working through it since I post the art I make for answers no matter what only bc I KNOW someone out there wants to see it. It might not sound it but it’s actually quite positive.

Also, although I feel I’ve done my fair share of reading, I’m no expert. So if anything is really off point- sorry my bad (I won’t fix it tho bc I cannot physically stand to look at this another second lol)

I tried to stick to real things found in articles/books/photos/interviews etc bc outside of obviously fictional AUs I’m not super into making stuff up about them (and who needs to I mean the legit stuff is already insane enough) Sure I framed the events in specific ways to suit the song and some aspects are fictionalized (mainly bc the referenced written accounts lacked detail to draw 100% faithfully from anyhow) but otherwise I got my sources cited.

ANYWAYS… sorry for hijacking this answer I need to learn to chill out. Irl I’m a pretty reserved talker so you can tell I’m in a comfy place when I let loose and blather on endlessly lmao brevity is not a skill I possess.

You were probably expecting illustrations or smth but I hope what I came up with is still somewhat alright AND please don’t let my complaining fool you, I genuinely loved making this.

One FINAL Relevant Note: the line “nowhere else is safe every place leads back to your place” is gut wrenching. You’re so right about this song perfectly describing the break up. They always came back to each other and there’s something so devastating about that kind of haunting human connection.

OkAY I’m done promise- I thought I’d implode if I didn’t get all that out

[coffeeandbatboys]

Hi!!! I'm @bad4amficideas (dirty r18 sideblog because real people know main 😱) Congratulations on your followers🤯

I would like, please and thank you, to request a matchup. Of course if you want to delete this message I completely understand! (In advance, sorry for my English)

I am a woman (going ancient if you follow internet nomenclatures. middle ages welcome back i swear) I'm demiromantic pansexual, who thinks herself as shy and introverted... with a poker, resting bitch face worthy of Crosshair (or a soaked kitten). Depressed, socially awkward, and sometimes really misanthropic -even with my family and I love them-, though people like, always said I'm real kind and sweet, and hardworking ??? 🧐kinda clumsy/akward (not best at self esteem ik). Moody, really stubborn, conscientious, dignified/honorable, loyal, passive agressive, spiteful (...actually I'm a very shy decent girl but I don't recommend touching my people, I cry with rage so I make you feel guilty while I bite you) and when it’s something that I’m passionate about, I’m a force of nature, I feel myself shine and people irl seems to like talk with me about fandom ☺️ I can and will ramble for hours to end. Relaxed I'm a daydreamer, kinda scatterbrainer (some say I think to fast and can't keep up with my mouth) I love read fiction/fantasy/myth at times with romantic touchs, lots of smut and daydream. I collect merchandise expecific plushes *hunting lula atm ❤️‍🔥, damn why i must be european! This is chirithy and courage and lopmon hunting all again... but i got them. Just wait lula, wait 😈😈😈😈*

I am a little alienated from my body because id like it, but I am a ciswoman with Little chest and a lot of ass. long brown hair, freckles 🥰, on light skin and a very pretty 🥰 gray-green eye color, some say blue.

That was very long. A thousand pardons and congratulations again!

Welcome! (And don’t worry, your English is very good).

I’ll let Helena take it over from here 🩷

Helena: hello, friend!

After reviewing the information given, and some conversation with a regular at the shop, I have decided to pair you with Sergeant Sinker of the Wolfpack!

gif by @kamino-coruscant

Sinker was always taught by his non–vode superiors on Kamino that he was property of the GAR and nothing more. So once the two of you are officially together, he can’t get over the fact that you’d choose him. Just the thought makes him fall in love a little more every day.

Sinker has a dry sense of humor, so you can expect some witty banter from him. When you’re not feeling the best, he’ll know when to set the snark aside in favor of helping you. Sinker can be patient when the situation calls for it. It may take a while, but the two of you will begin to enjoy each other’s presence even when it’s just a comfortable silence.

He thinks nothing bad about your clumsiness. If you are to trip while he’s close enough, this man will catch you before you get hurt. And when it comes to self esteem, he has no problem telling you—or showing you—how much he loves you.

He will support you whenever you face a problem that you’re passionate about (and he will have internal heart eyes watching you go after it too). He admires your dedication and loyalty.

After getting to know you and your hobbies, he'll find himself actively seeking out shops that sell plushes and intriguing fantasy books so he can bring one home to you (with the his dad's General's help, of course).

As for your body image, a negative thought will never cross his mind unless you bring it up. He thinks that you’re just as beautiful inside as out. And he will feel so incredibly lucky to have someone like you to love.

Well, here’s his comm link code…I’d stick around for a little while longer but I gotta go—customers lining up!

400 follower celebration at Midnight Oil caf house

[hotpinkboots]

Pardon me I had to take a moment for my gay ass to recover from the pet names as well as to double check with your rules list, this ask is gonna look long but it’s only because I like to make it look more organized and explains when I can, it looked like a lot but of course it’s all headcanons and will be as long as you please (And of course if you wanna do one for another go ahead)

1. CB x s/o who gets spooked WAY to easy for a night guard

2. CB x s/o who absolutely refuses to shock the animatronics

3. The living embodiment of a golden retriever

4.CB finds out s/o has accidentally befriended every rat and mouse in the pizzeria (and absolutely does not want to get rid of them)

Angst/ s/o died and is a robot now, below

5. CB x s/o that got axed, a crate gets delivered to the pizzeria, open it up, guess who walked out with all memories intact ( s/o has a dad that also makes androids, not related to afton in the slightest, in grief of his child getting yeeted he makes a new line of security animatronics one of which to house the soul of his kid, there generally average hight like 5 foot ____, with bullet resistant plating, flame retardant elastic “skin”, able to dispense multiple first aid equipment, able to glow in the dark, the works

6. SB x same s/o but instead of being revived to protect they got revived and ran the new pizzeria, similar situations but baby is in the room where the salvage thing takes place and guess who walks through the door

7. SB x s/o who fixed her and the other animatronics up so they can preform again ( if they want to, it’s all optional and afton is in the time out box)

8(last one I promise) CB x same robot s/o who forgot to charge( they got something like those pads you lay something on and it charges but it’s like a bed) so one day they come in all sluggish and ALMOST made it , but then shuts down right befor getting there.

So sorry for the ramble but if I can think of one idea I can think of 2 more etc , thank you for your ever so wonderful and valuable time : )

~~~~~~~~~~

~𝓒𝓲𝓻𝓬𝓾𝓼 𝓑𝓪𝓫𝔂 w/a Darling Who Refuses To Shock Animatronics~

I CHOSE THE SECOND ONE BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS CUTE, GORGEOUS 😍 I might do the first one at some point because that one is FUUUUN :D

Like with the C-3p0 request, there are a ton of requests in my inbox that I was unable to see because Tumblr glitched and I couldn't scroll down in my inbox, no matter how many times I tried to get it to work :( SO This was going to be done literally like forever ago, but I couldn't SO HERE IT IS NOW DARLING

THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING WITH MY BABY GWORL I LOVE HER 😭

~Enjoy~

★★★★

𝓒𝓲𝓻𝓬𝓾𝓼 𝓑𝓪𝓫𝔂

★★★★

~She is beyond appreciative.

~Shocking an animatronics's entire body kind and system, to her, is abuse, even if it isn't that painful due to being something that cannot feel pain.

~Because they can still feel emotional pain.

~It also makes them bug out often.

~Your refusal to give a "controlled shock" seems to automatically make her take a liking towards you.

~She'll bring it up, too, and tell you that your empathy and justice are so admirable.

~The other animatronics (especially Ballora) are very happy about you not wishing to electrocute them like all the other cruel people do.

~Baby is very concerned at the fact you won't, though. She's happy you don't. She's happy you genuinely care for the well being of the animatronics, but,

~It is required that you shock them when they do not behave.

~What if you get...fired?

~She wouldn't ever see you again.

~"Perhaps...enduring the pain...will be alright in the end. If I can continue to see you, my dear friend...If you are terminated from the Pizzeria, I will never see you again. So maybe...maybe the pain will be worth it..."

~~~~~~~~~~

WE LOVE A LIL' TEENY BIT O' YANDERE BABY >:))) Like mentioned before, I might do some of the other prompt thingies, because I'm eyeing a few of them :>

~~~~~~~~~~

⭐REBLOGS⭐>💀LIKES💀

~~~~~~~~~~

Rules/Masterlist (Scroll Down For The Masterlist)!

~~~~~~~~~~

Join my chat/roleplay server! Here, you'll be able to roleplay, make new friends, and get updates on my fanfiction and upcoming videogames!:

~~~~~~~~~~

~Love, PinkBoots

[quantity-of-jokes-not-quality]

Catching up over text with someone you haven’t talked to in a while really feels like you’re two people in the 18 hundreds exchanging long letters over great distances. I mean you’ll really write some long ass paragraphs and then you could just as well follow it up with something like:

“Oh pardon me, old friend. I’m dreadfully sorry that I have rambled on for so many pages. Now I think I’ve written quite enough about myself and my poor hand tires. So, I’d much rather hear about your whereabouts and doings. Tell me…”

[thelastbraincellofthehive]

Ok so... I haven't watched anything RWBY since last finale because I was fucking mourning and still kinda am... But anyways, now that Volume9 Is coming and I feel I little more calm and not wanting to kill absolutely everyone for taking my beautiful daughter AGAIN I decided to rewatch the series 'cuz nostalgia

I just finished Volume 1, here are my thoughts:

Omg the black models for the extras 😂😂😂 I fuckin'forgot about the shadow people!!! I love them!

Also I'm so very proud of how the animation has grown <3 Volume 8 animation is*chef's kiss*

Also, Miles and Kerry have grown up so much as writers!! Like, I adore the dumb jokes and references on these early volumes, but to think where the story heads after!!! OMG it's so awesome!!!

Now going for more specific stuff pardon my rambling and lack of order

Hearing Salem's voice in the intro hits so different after everything we've been through, I love it!

I'm 1000% sure that Ozpin knew from the start that Jaune was lying on his entrance papers, just like he knew who Blake was from the start.

Nora in Players and Pieces is just:

We stan Nora so hard it hurts<3 best girl.

Also that fucking nevermore fight still takes my break away after watching it more than 30 times! Not many things can say that!

Weiss grows so much across the seasons and I'm so proud of her <3 it's so amazing to see her in this volume knowing what she'll become #you'redoingamazingsweetie #that'smygirl

Blake, darling, there was absolutely no reason for you to crouch down behind Yang in Forever Fall, aside from wanting to watch her ass, your bisexuality is showing honey. #Proud

Also speaking of Yang, it's so weird to see her without her robotic arm again????? Can I just said that as much as I love every version of Yang, volume 5+ is her best version in every way

The fuckin' bunkbeds were and still are a hazard lol I love them though.

Roman, my beloved</3 I've missed you so much king, I wish you could be able to reunite with your girl. She also misses you so much.

That said, I'm sorry my boy, but I know if I had the power to bring back any character who has died in the series... It would always be Pyrrha. I understand why, but it doesn't mean she didn't deserved so much better.

Anyways back to the fun stuff (and there's a lot) Ozpin throwing kids off the cliff will never not be iconic lol.

Just like Weiss and Ruby riding the nevermore, my favorite moment of them as a pair in this season

Honestly the initiation arc is my favorite in this season Is just so awesome lol.

I don't understand how Cardin Winchester got into beacon... Like, he's not even a good fighter nor a good student... How???

I still can't believe that The FNDM latched onto Velvet so hard they gave her a full team of badasses and two spin off books. Fucking great it's what she deserves. Now make her and Coco a couple.

It's been so long since I last watched this volume that I didn't remember Penny and Sun were introduced in the same episode lol honestly Iconic. We got the DemiAce trans girl AND the raging bisexual monkey boy in less than five minutes. Trully a win for representation. We stan.

Also the whole 'penny was wearing a backpack but the animation didn't looked like it' thing it's so funny to me, because next season we 'learn' that She's a robot/android and my thoughts are always "why is it a surprise Ruby you saw her back open up and swords coming out of It?!" Lol.

Red like roses pt 2 and I may fall are still my favorite songs from this soundtrack. They're so freaking epic!!!

Speaking of songs, I can't watch the series without remembering that AU/Headcanon thing that since Casey does Weiss' singing voice all the songs can be seeing as things that Weiss wrote in-universe about her partners and yrabels lol like it's so fucking funny to thing about it that way lol. Did she saw team CFVY being badass and was like 'damn these 4 deserve a fuckin' hard rock anthem to go into battle!'? Did she saw Yang and Blake being useless at confesing their feelings and thought 'I'm gonna write them a song that's so gay they're gonna figure their shit out'? It's just so funny to me lol

Honestly, I really like Cinder as an antagonist... Like really, really like her lol I get why people is tired of her, but I enjoy her moments so much??? Cant wait for more Cinder un Vol2

Also, Ruby my girl, I'm so sorry for everything that's gonna happen </3 I wish I could protect you from the world but I also love seeing you suffer, I'm terrible

So yeah those are my thoughts, fuck how I've missed RWBY, I gotta continue my rewatch now 😋

[2day4u-2morrow4me]

Your post about Chuuya falling for Rampo’s bait? I can totally relate. Chuuya is my favorite character, and I have been pretty sad with the way Asagiri keeps portraying Chuuya, there is an inconsistence in how he treats his character that annoys me to no end, Chuuya don’t deserve a half assed baked plot, he is smart, the most powerful character, and Asagiri keeps nerfing him in the most ridiculous ways possible, making him look like he is dumb and that the only times that he can or not shine is when he is with Dazai, and this makes me extremely angry, because Chuuya is one, if not the most, complex character in the series, hell, he has two novels to himself! But just because he is a “villain” and not the protagonist you have to keep ruining his image just because of the plot? Even when there were other ways? If you read the manga, you know that Asagiri again did this kind of think with Chuuya and oh boy, I’m at my limit, if you create a character as powerful as Chuuya, you must know how to deal with him without killing his history, personality and core. Sorry if there are any mistakes, english is not my first language and this topic makes me really frustrated, because I really, really love Chuuya.

****warning vague manga spoilers ahead. I tried to keep it fairly lowkey****

Finally I'm reaching my people. Knew I wasn't the only one who is fed up with this (pardon my language) bullshit (sorry if the swearing makes u uncomfortable I have no filter I try but it helps me get my point across)

You are absolutely right my man. Asagiri pulls that shit where he has Dazai walk all over him in the Lovecraft fight, have them share a touching trust moment, then Dazai ditches him. Then pulls a complete 180 and writes Stormbringer detailing this epic backstory about how powerful he is and all the people he meets and loses and the battles he overcomes and then fucking chapter 101 happens and Chuuya is apparently weak and just a tool in that Dazai bullshit.

I truly don't think Asagiri has a lot of villain/hero stuff because the "villains" are also compelling and loyal and the "heroes" have complicated pasts and aren't complete saints(and for that Asagiri will be a fantastic author) But if that is the case then why is Asagiri always putting Chuuya down. I have no idea what Asagiri is doing with Chuuya. I have in fact read the manga and I hate hate hate hate how it is going. fingers crossed that Asagiri/Dazai have an actual plan to fix that nonsense.

All in all Asagiri wrote a really compelling character with a fanastic backstory, incredible power, and a personality people can relate with(who me?). I have connected with Chuuya a lot(ask me about the ways I relate to him istg. if I tried to list them all right now this would definitely be rambling.) I just wish I could see the character more, especially in a more flattering light, instead of put next to people like Dazai and Fyodor(cough cough literal fucking geniuses cough) so that he looks stupid.

There aren't any mistakes I don't think. You probably speak English better than I can and it is the only language I speak lol. I will rant to you all day long about Chuuya and how my boi deserves better. thank u for the ask, I love an excuse to rant(with that being said sorry for all that ranting. I can be extra my bad.)

[tofics]

As promised: here comes my in-depth review of this masterpiece! 🤩 (Seriously, do yourself a favor and read this. It's delicious from top to bottom.)

I just wanna say, you have such a way with words.

[...] hitting perfectly the dime-sized crucifix situated comfortably between two pert tits sheathed in sheer black cotton.

Well damn. No shame in Joel unable to look away from that. I'd be all over that too. 👀

You’re not sure what you enjoy more—disrespecting your insane Catholic mother, or knowing that Joel is undressing you with his eyes—but you can’t help yourself feeding into his fantasy.

💀 Now personally, I've thankfully never had to deal with religious disagreements within my family or friend circle, but I know plenty of people who have dealt with it and this phrasing just made me crack up. It's like the reader gets to kill two birds with one stone and I'm totally here for it.

Bare, supple skin is on display as you get up from the deck chair. You turn to him with a prurient twinkle in your eye, and ask if he wants a drink too.

I'm sorry, am I supposed to be attracted to Joel or the reader here? My bisexual-ass can't decide 😩

You ogle Joel, biting fiercely the skin of your bottom lip. And it doesn’t go unnoticed.

I seem to have misplaced my knife to cut through this thick ass tension!!! 🥵

Joel swigs his beer—letting your dad drunkenly ramble—and doesn’t take his eyes off of you. Wondering how he’s going to make you pay for torturing him like this.

😇 I shall happily endure whatever punishment he sees fit.

“Didn’t feel like hittin’ the bars.” Candidly, you say. It’s refreshing. “Can’t be dealin’ with pervy old men tryna touch me.” Less refreshing.

Joel going from 😌 to 😒 within a matter of seconds 😆😆

Joel’s blood runs cold, and you smirk. He swallows thickly the liquid acrimony bubbling from the chasms of his throat. He wants to screw that stupid grin off of your face—stuff his cock straight between those plush lips and throat fuck you ‘til you’re crying and gasping for air.

"Liquid acrimony bubbling from the chasms of his throat" 😩 Ayooo. Had to look the word up (acrimony) only to immediately fall more in love with your writing. How beautifully written, not to mention the deliciously filthy content that follows right after. 🤤

“No need to get all protective. No old coot is comin’ anywhere near me.” You look directly at Joel when you say; “old men can’t do what guys my age can, anyway.”

🤪🤪🤪 Reader out here making Joel's blood boil two kinda ways. Get it, girl. Tease him til he cracks.

Ever since she went back to Kansas—which was totally code for I fucked the priest and got extradited from the church—[...]

“It might be nasty, but ‘least you don’t have to worry about me bringing home a man your age. Or even worse; older.” Gary gets to his feet—knees clicking and cracking as he does so—and nods. “‘Spose that’s true, kid.” Joel. Is. So. Fucking. Pissed.

“She makin’ ‘ya squirm?” You blink at him. “I beg your pardon?” “Your pussy.” Joel—as candid as ever—elaborates. “Is she flutterin’ ‘cus ‘a me?”

NOW LISTEN HERE. I read this very late at night and genuienly had to hold in my giggles. I was kicking my damn feet under the blanket!!! THE AUDACITY. The fucking HOTNESS. Just straight up calling her out on it as soon as dad's gone. Eeeeeeeeeeek!!!!

“Don’t worry if so. I have that effect on the ladies.” “Makin’ yourself sound like a slut, Miller.” Coolly, you respond. Your hand is reaching for a can of beer, twining fingertips around the base while another pulls the tab.

Eheeeeeeee!!! 🤣🤣 That's what she GETS for fucking with him all afternoon. Ohhh I am so here for it. His confidence. The reader suddenly all 👀 Did he really just say that. Ohhh I love love love this whole bit.

You trail a finger through the valley of your breasts, collecting the sticky liquid before you’re putting it straight into your mouth; sucking it clean. Your eyes are locked on Joel’s.

Well Christ on a cracker. Can I get a side of the reader too, please? Would Joel mind sharing? I know I'm supposed to be her but god DAMN.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t ’ya?” Is what he says in response. He’s quick witted, you’ll give him that. “My tongue stuck in your pretty little pussy—“

Why yes sir, I would. So kind of you to offer. When and where?

“I’d have respect for ‘ya, but the way that peachy fuckin’ ass was in the air when ‘ya bent over the cooler tells me that daddy’s ’lil girl is more of a slut than me.”

“Nah, I’m good.” You’re leaning back, now, lifting your legs to sit criss cross applesauce. The barely-covering-your-crotch sheer fabric of your thong catches his eye; a glint of something wicked flickers through them as he clears his throat.

I feel like I'm at a tennis match. My head just whipping back and forth, watching them fire shots at one another. Who's gonna win???

If you’re playing the long game, then so is he. He can out-stubborn anybody.

Oh I bet.

It’s killing him, this. It’s torture. But he’s strong. Ish.

Can't blame ya, Joel. With a sight like that? Sheesh.

A weakness of his, that is. You referring to him as Mr. Miller has always gotten him hot. It’s innocent, almost. It’s like that’d been engrained into your brain by the god-fearing fruit-loop that brought you up, and you can’t quit saying it in these situations.

"God-fearing fruit-loop" 💀🤣 But I just know he's gonna be telling her to call him Mr. Miller when he gives it to her.

Mentally, Joel’s cock is spearing open the tight hole between your legs; making you scream his name. He’s thrusting his prick up into your cervix while you ride him like he’s the last cowboy on earth, desperate to feel a kind of pleasure that no man your age could ever bestow upon you.

🫠🫠🫠 Yee-fuckin'-haw, baby.

He wants nothing more than to wrap a hand around the base of your throat and fuck you into next week; feeling damp walls contract and seize around his cock—

“If you’d shut your fuckin’ mouth, I’d be able to finish.”

Snappy Joel just does something to me. 🙃

“Dead sure, angel face.” He quips. “I know for a damn fact that you’d be havin’ trouble takin’ my fat cock all in one go; be cryin’ for everyone to hear.” Through long, thick lashes, you stare at him. “You’d be seein’ stars; and not just the ones above us right now.”

Go on, then! Prove your point! How do we know you're not just all talk and no show, Mr. Miller!!!!

“Suck your soul right out from between your legs.” “Oh, Joel.” You moan, a little.

😶🫥😶‍🌫️

“Can’t think of anything that’ll bring me more pleasure than you fuckin’ me ‘til I’m crying. Or gasping for air.” “You ‘n me both, beautiful.” You smile. You give Joel your underwear, before you’re running your fingers through his hair and he’s letting a hand glide up the meat of your thigh and beneath your skirt. “Just a shame, ain’t it.” “What’s a shame, sugar?”

Kicking my feet!!! Howling at the moon!!! Giggling like I've gone insane!!! 😩😩

“Huh?” He says to get your attention, for you still haven’t answered. “What’s a shame?” Fingertips trace over broad shoulders enveloped in soft, warm flannel. You’re leaning closer; hot breath on his skin. Your lips part to whisper: “If daddy ever found out about this, he’d kill ‘ya.” “Baby—“ You’re taking the panties from his hand, and tucking them into the breast pocket of his shirt. Fighting a blush—feeling very proud of yourself—your face remains straight.

Oh. Shit. Did homegirl just deliver the final punch?

You tap at his chest and walk away, but not before throwing a “night, Miller” over your shoulder.

DING DING DING. WE GOT A WINNER!!! Reader walking away like:

Re: your tags: HOWLING. "Please don't look at me. I'm ovulating" GIRL YOU GOT ME PREGNANT WITH THIS FIC AND THEY NEVER EVEN SO MUCH AS TOUCHED.

What a fucking delightful read this was. 100/10 going on my favorite's list for SURE. Chef's kiss!!!!

CRAVE | Joel Miller

SUMMARY: there’s only one thing that joel craves, and it isn’t the mental fucking torture of an overly stubborn twenty-something teasing him ‘til he’s blue in the face. and balls.

PAIRING: dbf!joel miller x afab!reader. legal unspecified age gap.

WARNINGS: MINORS DNI, 18+ CONTENT BELOW THE CUT. alcohol consumption. pervy old man joel. reader’s dad (i’ve named him sorrrry) is there before joel gets pervy. some religious themes and also descriptions of religion in a negative light (this is MY experience with christianity, if you do not agree then please don’t read), no explicit smut but descriptions of what joel wants to do to youuuu so: mentions of piv, cock-riding, oral f!receiving, choking if you squint, dirty talk asf, joel being cocky which leads to his cock being sad and alone. reader is cunty. not proof-read ‘cus, once again, i’m a lazy bitch and i don’t have time for that. enjoy. 🫶🏻

An end to craving is an end to suffering.

Today’s last stream of sunlight fulgurates through the branches of your father’s prized Texas Ash, hitting perfectly the dime-sized crucifix situated comfortably between two pert tits sheathed in sheer black cotton.

Joel tries not to stare, but it’s impossible. He’s been watching you all fucking night. Every time you get up, he’s been glued to your ass. Whenever you lean over, Joel can’t seem to pry his eyes away from your cleavage. The more he’s been drinking, the more brazen he’s been with his stolen glances.

When your father rambles about some work-related spiel—and you’re sitting so innocently across the way—he can’t help affixing his eyes to the swell of your breasts. Wondering what it’d be like to touch, and grope, and suck on them.

Your mother was right about him. For all of the years that she knew Joel while your parents were together, she’d always say that he was trouble. A good-for-nothing, splenetic, perverted old-man who was but a bad influence. And you never noticed, never cared. You always thought that he was a great friend, and a stand-up guy.

Until today. Until you saw him scrutinizing your form—in front of your dad—you had a lot more respect for Joel. But now you realize that your mother was right. He is a perv. But—fuck—do you love that.

You’re not sure what you enjoy more—disrespecting your insane Catholic mother, or knowing that Joel is undressing you with his eyes—but you can’t help yourself feeding into his fantasy.

“Daddy?” Your father hums, not entirely bothered by the fact that you’ve just interrupted his conversation. He smiles. “Do you want another beer?”

“Please, hon.” He hands you his empty bottle, mumbling something about how he was going to get himself one and that you don’t need to. But you insist.

The blanket over your thighs is being discarded, hiking your dress up with it. Joel gets a glimpse of your lace panties that he likes to imagine you wore just for him, and shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

Bare, supple skin is on display as you get up from the deck chair. You turn to him with a prurient twinkle in your eye, and ask if he wants a drink too. “Yeah, another won’t hurt. I’m already pretty—“ he hiccups, “pretty far gone, anyway.”

Dad laughs while you saunter to the cooler and make a big show of bending over, completely unaware of the way Joel is trying to conjure up a plan to get you alone tonight. But then…

“Same ‘ere, bud.” He laughs before he’s nodding toward Joel. “Stay the night, if ‘ya wanna. I mean, you’re in no fit state to drive—none of us are—and I got a spare bedroom.”

His nose scrunches up, as if to decline, before you’re turning around with two unopened beers and a small bottle of wine. Your hand wraps around the neck almost romantically, leaving very little to his imagination.

“Yeah, you might as well stay, Miller.” You put down the beers on the table, still holding firmly the Merlot. “I’m stayin’. I got nowhere to be in the mornin’, and dad bought breakfast stuff.”

Two brown eyes are latched to each of yours, and you feel beads of perspiration roll through the valley of your breasts. Despite the evening cooling down, you’re stifling beneath his unyielding gaze.

“Alright, I’ll stay.” Joel concedes. He takes his can and cracks it open, lifting it up to cheers your father. “S’long as you’re makin’ me breakfast, Gary.”

Dad salutes and you smile, sinking into the purple cushion with a satisfied hum. You ogle Joel, biting fiercely the skin of your bottom lip. And it doesn’t go unnoticed.

Joel swigs his beer—letting your dad drunkenly ramble—and doesn’t take his eyes off of you. Wondering how he’s going to make you pay for torturing him like this.

But this hadn’t been your intention when Joel showed up to watch the Cowboys v Browns game this afternoon. In fact, him staying past nine o’clock was completely unintentional and if it weren’t for your dad pumping him full of Coors and Old Milwaukee, he’d be fast asleep at this very moment.

He supposes that he doesn’t mind, being here. Especially because he’s buzzed—still able to speak and think coherently, which is surprising—and gets to spend some rare time with you. Even if it is with your dad.

You watch them converse—the way that friends do—admiring how patient Joel is with him despite him being a little bit too inebriated for his own good. He’s the kind of friend that your old man needs; understanding, forbearing. And it baffles you that they’ve not known one another for longer than seven years, but surmise that they’d definitely be best friends in every other timeline because they just work so well.

But it’s the thought of them being friends—brothers—that urges feelings of unease. Trepidation. Gary’ll have a cow if he finds out the way that his so called buddy has been making googly eyes at his little girl’s titties for the last eight hours.

Joel senses the shift in attitude—you’re not teasing him now—and turns the topic of conversation to you. Dad doesn’t mind, though. Never minds talking to—or about—his kid.

“What made you stay in with us oldies tonight, huh?”

Wine is being swiveled around the glass before you take it back in one swig. A grimace flits over your features, but they both catch it.

“Didn’t feel like hittin’ the bars.” Candidly, you say. It’s refreshing. “Can’t be dealin’ with pervy old men tryna touch me.”

Less refreshing.

Joel’s blood runs cold, and you smirk. He swallows thickly the liquid acrimony bubbling from the chasms of his throat. He wants to screw that stupid grin off of your face—stuff his cock straight between those plush lips and throat fuck you ‘til you’re crying and gasping for air.

He just nods instead of saying anything.

“I’ll kill anyone that touches you.” Dad says, not sensing Joel’s sudden frigid state. “Seriously. ‘Specially if it’s an old fuckin’ degenerate asshole—“

“Alright, Gary.” You halt the hate train, pouring the last few dregs of wine into your glass. “No need to get all protective. No old coot is comin’ anywhere near me.”

You look directly at Joel when you say; “old men can’t do what guys my age can, anyway.”

Dad grimaces. Joel scoffs. You can’t help smiling, feeling very proud of yourself.

“Y’know, you’re still my kid? And hearing this shit is nasty.” Your father tells you around a burp, and realizes that this might be the time to call it a night.

He’s never been able to handle his alcohol, especially after being married to your psychotic beer-loathing, hymn-signing, prayer-group-leading, holier-than-though moronic fucking mother.

He lets himself get too drunk too fast, now. Ever since she went back to Kansas—which was totally code for I fucked the priest and got extradited from the church—he’s really let his hair down, and you’d be lying if you said this version of your old man wasn’t the very best. Because he’s living his life the way that he wants to, now.

It’s nice.

“It might be nasty, but ‘least you don’t have to worry about me bringing home a man your age. Or even worse; older.”

Gary gets to his feet—knees clicking and cracking as he does so—and nods. “‘Spose that’s true, kid.”

Joel. Is. So. Fucking. Pissed.

As you say your goodnights—and put on a few lights so that your dad doesn’t trip over his own feet—Joel is mentally counting down the minutes until he gets you alone on this damn patio. He’s determined to make you regret the few little comments that you’ve made tonight.

“Don’t stay up too late. Y’know how cranky ‘ya get with no sleep.” Dad reminds you. “You too, Miller.”

You hum your response, lifting your empty glass and indicating that you’ll be retiring to your room soon, too.

“Night dad.”

“Night, pumpkin.” He turns to Joel. “Make sure she ain’t up too late.”

He nods and shifts his gaze to you, eyes darkening. “Yessir. I’ll put her to sleep.”

Your father grunts and slides the patio door to close. Leaving his daughter and best friend alone together might be the biggest mistake that he’s ever going to make.

Joel watches him intently behind the glass door, heeding him stumble across the tile. He might be about to rearrange your guts, but he at least wants to be courteous.

Your legs squeeze together, for the only sound you hear is the reverberation of Joel’s I’ll put her to sleep in that sexy, beer-slick tone.

He sees it.

“She makin’ ‘ya squirm?”

You blink at him. “I beg your pardon?”

“Your pussy.” Joel—as candid as ever—elaborates. “Is she flutterin’ ‘cus ‘a me?”

The fallout of a chemical bomb would be much more appealing than having to look Joel in the eye after such a lewd statement.

“Don’t worry if so. I have that effect on the ladies.”

“Makin’ yourself sound like a slut, Miller.” Coolly, you respond. Your hand is reaching for a can of beer, twining fingertips around the base while another pulls the tab.

Two eyes screw shut when a spritz of alcohol is flushing over your face, neck and chest. Droplets of Bud trickle between those perfect tits that Joel’s eyes have almost burned fucking holes into; forcing even the horniest man on planet earth to render himself utterly speechless.

You trail a finger through the valley of your breasts, collecting the sticky liquid before you’re putting it straight into your mouth; sucking it clean. Your eyes are locked on Joel’s.

“What? Cat got your tongue?”

Slowly, he shakes his head. The sight before him is truly one to behold; his friend’s sweet daughter with her fingers between her tits out in the patio. Nobody’d ever believe him if he told them this. Joel probably wouldn’t even fucking believe himself.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t ’ya?” Is what he says in response. He’s quick witted, you’ll give him that. “My tongue stuck in your pretty little pussy—“

Heat flashes over you.

“You’re fucking vile.”

“Ain’t that the way it’s meant’a be?” He lurches forward, and your eyes travel to the small opening of his shirt’s midsection that highlights perfectly the fact that he hasn’t a base layer beneath the flannel.

You see a small patch of hair; brown, and gray and seems a little fuzzy. It’s a sudden reminder that this man is a smidge too old for you. But you can’t find it in yourself to care very much.

“Don’t think so.” Trying to out-douche him, you respond. Joel’s thick fingers are twined together, hands resting over the peaks of his knees. “Think youre meant’a have some kinda respect for me. Y’know, as my dad’s buddy, ‘n all.”

Joel snorts a laugh.

“I’d have respect for ‘ya, but the way that peachy fuckin’ ass was in the air when ‘ya bent over the cooler tells me that daddy’s ’lil girl is more of a slut than me.”

Your jaw rolls. Reaction: gauged.

He inches nearer to you; slimy grin plastered across rough, rugged features. “Only pullin’ your leg, hon. I know you’re no slut. Too much of a prissy bitch—“

“Oh, really?” Irked, you spit.

Joel nods. Pushing at your buttons has never been much of a difficult feat. It’s something that he quite enjoys, actually.

“Mhm, yeah.” The man is leaning backwards in his chair, now. Arms folded behind his head; hands pressed against his dark curls. “Gonna have to prove that you ain’t like your mama.”

Your blood boils. And then it runs cold.

“Don’t gotta prove shit to you.” You defend. Very defensively.

“No, that’s right. Don’t gotta do nothin’, kiddo.”

You see the outline of his dick as it stiffens within the confines of his dark, navy-denim jeans. He’s actually getting off on this.

“Unless you want to—“

“Nah, I’m good.” You’re leaning back, now, lifting your legs to sit criss cross applesauce. The barely-covering-your-crotch sheer fabric of your thong catches his eye; a glint of something wicked flickers through them as he clears his throat.

If you’re playing the long game, then so is he. He can out-stubborn anybody.

“So I’ve heard.” He jabs, insinuating that you’re a prude. Again. “Can prove ‘em all wrong, if ‘ya wanna.”

It’s killing him, this. It’s torture. But he’s strong. Ish.

You shake your head, reaching for your almost-empty can of beer. You’re taking another long pull, making a dramatic show of tilting your head back and puffing out your chest as you do so. His lips purse.

“I’m good.” You tell him again with a syrupy smile. “Rather we just talk. Y’know—be civilized, ‘n all.”

His arms are moving to the sides of his deck chair, now. Joel’s tongue runs along his bottom lip. He gives a quick bob of his head.

“Yeah, we can talk.” His eyes zone in on your pussy; the engorged wet patch situated on the part of fabric that kind-of clothes your cunt. His mouth waters. “But what’ll we talk about, baby girl?”

Another surge of pleasure oozes out from between your thighs, turning what was once a purple thong into a jet-black one. Joel doesn’t mind, though. The sight is sweet; it’s prurient, in some sick way.

“Hm.” You pretend to think, all the while spreading your legs a little bit more. He sees perfectly the outline of your folds as fabric hugs and highlights the inner workings of your beautiful anatomy. “Why don’t we start with what you’re thinkin’ about, Mr. Miller?”

A weakness of his, that is. You referring to him as Mr. Miller has always gotten him hot. It’s innocent, almost. It’s like that’d been engrained into your brain by the god-fearing fruit-loop that brought you up, and you can’t quit saying it in these situations.

“Oh, doll. Not sure you’ll wanna hear what I’m thinkin’ of.” His tone is rough, now. Like 180 grit sandpaper against the wooden walls inside of your fucking brain. You hum.

Mentally, Joel’s cock is spearing open the tight hole between your legs; making you scream his name. He’s thrusting his prick up into your cervix while you ride him like he’s the last cowboy on earth, desperate to feel a kind of pleasure that no man your age could ever bestow upon you.

In his head, he’s picturing your crucifix dangling in his face while you’re pleasuring yourself on his length; glistening with sweat, and cum, and Sierra Nevada. Howling at his girth, speechless at the size of him.

He wants nothing more than to wrap a hand around the base of your throat and fuck you into next week; feeling damp walls contract and seize around his cock—

“No.” You snap him back to reality; halting his train of thought. “No, you can tell me. I’m a big girl, I can take it.”

Oh, I’m fuckin’ sure she can.

“Fine.” He clears his throat. “Just thinkin’ of stufin’ that warm ‘lil cunt with my big ‘ol cock, ‘s’all.”

“Oh, is that all?” Your tone is teasing.

Joel does not like to be teased.

“If you’d shut your fuckin’ mouth, I’d be able to finish.”

In a moment of pure, unapologetic submission, you nod. The skin of your bottom lip is getting fucking gnawed at by your teeth in an attempt to conceal a moan.

It works. Kind of.

“What was I sayin’…” He strives to recall his last few words; and then he remembers. “Oh, yeah. Stretchin’ out that cute pussy ‘a yours.”

That cute pussy ‘a yours, is twitching. Fuck that, it’s pulsating.

“And you’re so sure of that? You being able to stretch me out, I mean.”

“Dead sure, angel face.” He quips. “I know for a damn fact that you’d be havin’ trouble takin’ my fat cock all in one go; be cryin’ for everyone to hear.”

Through long, thick lashes, you stare at him.

“You’d be seein’ stars; and not just the ones above us right now.”

You look up to the sky and hope to alleviate some of the mental pain being bestowed upon you right now. Which is entirely your own doing, of course.

Joel shifts in his seat so that he’s a little bit more sunken, able to heed clearly the sickly sweetness blanketing the chair you’re on.

“I’ll eat your pussy, too.”

Your attention is snapped back down to Joel, now. Your brows raise.

“Suck your soul right out from between your legs.”

“Oh, Joel.” You moan, a little. He lets his eyes shut for a brief moment, only to open them again to find you taking off your panties.

It’s like Christmas fucking day, this.

“I’d love for you to take me right here; fill me up on one ‘a the sunloungers.” You’re getting off your chair, and Joel’s heart is starting to pound within the chasms of his chest.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

You’re walking toward him; thong in hand. Fingers wreathed through soaked purple cotton.

“Can’t think of anything that’ll bring me more pleasure than you fuckin’ me ‘til I’m crying. Or gasping for air.”

“You ‘n me both, beautiful.”

You smile. You give Joel your underwear, before you’re running your fingers through his hair and he’s letting a hand glide up the meat of your thigh and beneath your skirt.

“Just a shame, ain’t it.”

“What’s a shame, sugar?”

The feeling of his fingertips—calloused and covered in rough skin—is almost orgasmic. But you’re stronger than what he is. So you pull yourself away from his hold, and begin to feel an unwavering sense of need. You shirk it, though.

You’re leaning into him now, breasts pressed against his shoulder, lips touching the shell of his ear. Goosebumps prickle over his neck and you assume that they’re making their way down south, too.

“Huh?” He says to get your attention, for you still haven’t answered. “What’s a shame?”

Fingertips trace over broad shoulders enveloped in soft, warm flannel. You’re leaning closer; hot breath on his skin. Your lips part to whisper:

“If daddy ever found out about this, he’d kill ‘ya.”

“Baby—“

You’re taking the panties from his hand, and tucking them into the breast pocket of his shirt. Fighting a blush—feeling very proud of yourself—your face remains straight.

You tap at his chest and walk away, but not before throwing a “night, Miller” over your shoulder.

Joel looks down at the ground, presently wallowing in some sort of self-pity. But then remembers the visible effect that his words had—and the way he looked at—you, and he can’t fight the stupid fucking grin pushing its way onto his face.

He might’ve just experienced blue-balls at his big age, but to see you submit to his gaze was absolutely worth it.

He just hopes you’ll never tell a soul about his dirty-talk. He has a reputation to uphold, these days.

[mayisgoingnuts]

looks at you with the biggest smile imaginable

Pardon me…but do you have any headcanons for Rick x Ernie that you can think of 🙁- I can’t think of NOTHING-

I AM ANSWERING THIS VERY LATE UM. I'M SO SORRY KAJSJSJ BUT STILL!!! ERNIE X RICK HCS!!

Also idk if their ship have a name yet so I'll casually offer MonotoneActor or LazyHater

— Rick kissed his nose before going off to work out of instinct once. Turned into a habit very quickly

— Sometimes Ernie thinks that Rick isn't listening to him ramble and hate on movies and actors, what causes him to just stop talking, so Rick always turns to him and ask him "why did you stopped??"

— THEY USE THOSE GOOFY ASS SHIRTS LIKE "in my cunt era" and "I have a gun in my backpack"

— Rick has reading glasses and Ernie tried to use it once, immediately asked if Rick can see anything AT ALL

— THEY CUDDLE IN THE COUCH A LOT

— Rick's first smile infront of Ernie was when they kissed for the first time

— If Ernie was in the scene at the CandyClub in Tender Treats, instead of simply saying "I quit" and get the hell out, Rick would grab Ernie like if he's a statue and leave with him aswell

— Ernie is Rick's half-perfect translator to when Rick is expressionless or quiet: ALWAYS get it wrong at the first try, but gets it right at the second one

[xelles-archive]

i just met a king/s/man self shipper and immediately went like. AWOOGA :D

[wvbaandtheboys]

nah bro cause even mac can’t believe his eyes…

he’s fr just staring at nes mac like “I was THAT small once??” and nes mac’s just like :nods and makes beep-boop dialogue noises:

I mean. if I may add my own thoughts onto yours if you don’t mind Scotty. I think that yeah Joe would have to be held back HAKSJS like in my lil punchy world of wii, Joe is essentially like. an uncle to Mac. (Branch A family. yuh.) he’s not necessarily protective of him so to speak, he respects Mac’s strength, but god if joe wouldn’t be a meat shield for him if he needed it (Joe prefers talking things out but there’s only so much pardon he can give)

if he knew that nes mac had gotten beaten out of him by nes joey, he’d get PISSED RIGHT OFF. cause you know. little man. you bet your biscuits he’d be cursing in French the entire time like

“HOW DARE YOU?! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?! HAVE YOU NO DIGNITY THAT YOU BEAT A POOR SMALL BOY SENSELESS?!”

until nes doc pulls him off like “alright alright calm down jfc”

aran? yeah, he messes around with mac from time to time, maybe gets into some roughhousing occasionally, but he loves the little goober like a brother even if he is an abrasive douche most of the time. that being said-

he’ll throw hands with any of the nes boxers. even if he gets his ass whooped. he will not stand for little man getting bullied by these big dudes. no sir. he will whack them with his flail until wii doc wrestles him off like “aran cut it out for fuck’s sake—“

that’s my lil piece for this- sorry abt the rambling you just got my brain turnin cogs HAJSND

bahhshshdjejjrjjfjkro

i just

so you know how nes little mac is kinda just. a little guy??????

i'm just imagining nes punch-out meeting wii punch-out and them all meeting little man

and them all just staring at their nes counterparts as quietly as possible and giving them a stare that says

"you beat up this LITTLE BOY?????"

and them near beating their counterparts... aran and joe physically had to be held back by both of the Docs

please tell me this is funny i laughed about this for like 2 hours

[sw34ty-pl4n3t]

squeesh - bokuto k.

i am losing my mind and this is being written at two am i am not gonna have a fun time functioning in the fuckin daytime when i have to be awake. dude. this is probably going to be the gremlin reader borderline sexually assaulting bokuto because his ass is fat.

this is the mindless ramblings of a demiboy who's sleep deprived. fuck you. i don't mean it i love you sorry.

you sat in the shit hole that was school. being a third year in fukurodani, you were completely tired of school. as soon as the bell rang, you grabbed your shit clumsily and left the classroom.

there was this guy in your class that had piqued your interest. you waited for him to walk out the classroom and you eyed him for a second. you watched him silently and your eyes drifted to his backside.

holy- holy shti this man has cake, dude! you thought to yourself.

you whistled, catching his attention. he craned his head around like a fuckin owl immediately, startling you.

"hey! you're that guy in my class that sits in the corner, right?" he exclaimed loudly.

you. fucking. panicked. you broke out into a sweat, looking to the side.

"yeah.. " you muttered.

"you're always looking at me but i never had a reason to talk to you! what's your name? you seem cool!" he rambled.

if his spiky black and white hair made him look like an owl, then the golden, bright, round ass eyes he had put the fuckin hoot hoot into it. he somewhat scared you.

"thank you?? what's your name?" you question.

"bokuto! what about you?" he asks as you began to walk with him so you weren't just stopped in the middle of the hallway.

"(y/n), " you said, casually sneaking glances at his muscles.

"cool! hey, you wanna come with me to my practice?" bokuto asks.

"uhh.. what do you play?" you furrow your brows.

you contemplated what sport he played for him to be this built.

"volleyball!"

pardon?

"oh okay sure, " you mumbled.

"just follow me!" he says, walking faster.

you almost ran out of fuckin breath as you tried to keep up with this horse of a dude. you wondered to yourself, how the fu- as he bounded in front of you. bro this guy was like that one guy from hxh that walked in fuckin strides.

what the hell was his name? you wondered to yourself as you suddenly found yourself face first in back muscles.

you had zoned out while following bokuto and had bumped into him. your eyes widened and he turned around. you were face first in man tiddie.

holy shit.

"sorry-" you murmured and he looked down at you.

"you know if you just wanna bro cuddle anytime, i'm down!" he said as you resisted the urge to motorboa-

"yyyyeaahhh, " you stepped back, looking down.

what was this dude talking about? you had just met him! but you can't say shit because you simped from first glance so shut up.

[mounamusic-archive]

"BATTLE BATTLE BATTLE" (from Hypnosis Mic) - English Adapted Lyrics

My adapted lyrics for the @hypmic-battlex3 project!

DOPPO:

'Scuse me, sorry, pardon me sir, but I'm getting real sick of you dissing my ass

I'mma step up and knock you down and dump you right into the trash

You think you're a big shot, but I think not, I ain't a corporate cog

You're just a dog chasing pennies at the slots

Relying on your luck, you're dumb as fuck

With your weak rap game and not even a dollar to your name

My name is DOPPO, my beats are hot though I don't think you can deal

You can fake your poker face, but my flow is for real

DICE:

you think you're something with your job and your suit and tie

This is rap, office rat, you better step aside

Think your flow's real? Hah. It's real funny

Laugh my way to the bank I'mma say it point blank cuz I'm out here to make money

Living on luck is what I know, everything I risk is all my own

Salaryman better stick to the rule book, better watch your tone

I live my life, I'm Dead or Alive and I'm gonna win the bet

That I'm not gonna be some corporate little pet

HIFUMI:

Are you done? I'm getting tired of your rambling

 if you want to play around go back to gambling

You’re so broke it’s almost making me sorry

But your friend outta 1910’s another story

Phantom, think you’re handsome? Well you're dead wrong

Looking dead and gone like the garbage you write, you're way outdated

That's right, your threads are faded like the ink in your book

So, go do something 'bout that antiquated look

GENTARO:

I get it, I get it, I get what you reveal

How you say what you feel, I like how you keep it real, now

Let’s work together, you and I, maybe think about it.

Ha. That was a lie. I doubt it.

Whatcha got to gain, thinking you got class?

Cuz where I got a brain, you got a champagne glass

You gotta learn from your past, MC Gigolo

Not that a third-rate host would ever know.

MATENRO:

The Battle Battle Battle, the Battle Battle Battle

We’re the wolves of Shinjuku, we’ll run right on through you

FLING POSSE:

The Battle Battle Battle, the Battle Battle Battle

We’re the kings of Shibuya, gonna bring it on to ya

ALL:

The Battle Battle Battle, the Battle Battle Battle

The Battle Battle Battle, the Battle Battle Battle

Gonna make it happen

Less talking more rapping

The Battle Battle Battle, the Battle Battle Battle

JAKURAI:

Settle this here and now, your rhymes are ludicrous

I'm gonna shut you down, don't act like I'm new at this

Your flow don't mean a lot to me, you might need an endoscopy

To free myself of your disease and cancel the cacophony

(Or) maybe I could give you surgery, you'll see

It'll be a quick fix just a zip up your lips

But I'll take it slow. Stitch by stitch by stitch

And if you choose to struggle through it,

I'll see you in the I.C.Unit

RAMUDA:

O.M.F.G, quit acting like you got this

You're honestly a hot mess, I won't deny it

Don't matter how you try it, you can't keep me quiet

'Cuz I'll writhe and riot and I'll cry out in the middle of the night

I'll be like "la da da da!" annoying right? Right? Right?

I don't think you'll win this fight.

So, give up, call it a night

My kill rate is high, but my patience is very low

worst case scenario, so I think you better go­

DICE:

I don't think you realize

You wolves are gonna to get euthanized

GENTARO:

Got one more thing to mention,

Listen up and pay attention

DICE:

Matenro should sleep with the fishes if they can't do disses,

You know what I mean?

GENTARO:

I do, I think they're through

It got me feeling a rush of dopamine

RAMUDA:

it's been great, not gonna lie

I won't forget the fun we had

but y’all better say goodbye

So me and my Posse can head where the ladies are at

DICE:

a roll of the dice

GENTARO:

a writer who lies

RAMUDA:

nice combination!

FLING POSSE:

life and living it up is our motivation

DOPPO:

Oh my god, shut the fuck up,

You’re full of shit every way that you say it

HIFUMI:

We’ve had enough of your messing around,

If you’re in the game, then you’d better play it

DOPPO:

Your end is near, it’s clearly evident

In fact, you three aren’t relevant

HIFUMI:

Your posse ain’t shit, but we’re not gonna settle

We’re in to win this division battle

JAKURAI:

Your every offense Is a path to hell, it’s that of your own creation

The trouble you’re in is akin to a sin, Your posse may possibly need sedation

DOPPO:

We’re in control

HIFUMI:

With body and soul

JAKURAI:

And we’re doing God a favor

MATENRO:

A city without any hope will need a savior

[tlcwrites]

Fall to Pieces

Part 1

Submission for Writer Wednesday 9/15/21

Poe Dameron x Reader, Modern AU

“Do I really need to say it?” he finally asks. “Yes.” You need to hear it. You need him to voice it, after two and a half decades of pretending your friendship is nothing more. You need him to admit it, so you can find the nerve to admit it yourself.

Word Count: 4597

Tags/Warnings: Angst. Like, so much angst. Absolutely all the angst. All aboard the angst train. Slight infidelity depending on how you look at it. Lots of bad language words. Did I mention angst? Unbeta'd and probably full of typos.

Author’s Note: It’s been a hot minute since I wrote or at least finished a fic for our favorite hot space droid dad! Missed this flyboy.

I had already been working on this when I saw the 9/15 Writer’s Wednesday prompt, and it felt very apropo for the direction I was going. While this is technically part one of a multi-chapter fic (MY FIRST MULTI CHAPTER FIC THAT I’M ACTUALLY SHARING WITH ANYONE BESIDES MYSELF OMG LOOK AT ME GOOOO!), it can absolutely be read as a (super fucking angsty) standalone. If you want to be tagged in updates, let me know in the notes or send me an ask/dm!

Thanks to @autumnleaves1991-blog and @clydesducktape for hosting my favorite day of the week, and to @paper-n-ashes for, as always, rambling with me about character arcs and egging me on. This angst-fest is entirely her fault. I said what I said. Dividers by @firefly-graphics.

Series Masterlist - Part 2

“...you do love him, right?”

You scoff, focusing on the steam rising from your tea instead of the man perched on the stool next to you. “Of course I love him. What the hell kind of question is that?”

“Just seems kinda sudden, that’s all.”

“We’ve been together for over a year.” The warmth from the mug against your palms doesn’t offer the same comfort it usually does. “It’s the next logical step.”

“‘The next logical step’?” He snorts. “Sounds super romantic.”

You dismissively wrinkle your nose. “Please, you wouldn’t know romance if it bit you in the ass.”

“Romance wasn’t the one who bit me in the ass, that was Olivia. Romance is the one who sucks my-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, you pig.” But your words lack any serious castigation, and you can’t help smiling as you finally glance at him.

With his stool angled towards you, one foot propped carelessly on the foot rail, he’s the picture of casual confidence. He’s got that easy grin on his face, the one that draws people in without even trying. You know that smile so completely, you're sure you’d be able to feel it’s warmth, be able to feel his effortless, unconditional affection, from lightyears away. You’re probably the only person on Earth who can tell when it doesn't quite reach his eyes, and the smile becomes a façade.

Like it is now.

You both pretend you can’t tell.

“I’m just saying,” he says, tilting the neck of his beer at you for effect, “Weddings are about romance, the binding of two souls for all eternity! ‘The next logical step’ doesn’t sound like a blushing bride planning her wedding; it sounds like a stockbroker talking about next quarter’s investment opportunities.”

“I’m sorry, did you just call me a blushing bride?” It’s easy to hide your inner turmoil under the gentle ribbing that has always been one of the best parts of your relationship. “What am I, the virginal heroine of a romance novel?”

His snort is ill-timed, as it coincides with the sip he’s taking of his drink. You laugh as he sputters, and softly thump him on the back. “Easy there, Romeo.”

“Pardon me for thinking a wedding should be a celebration instead of a transaction,” he finally manages to cough out.

“Oh, so my marriage is a transaction now.”

His hands fly up in self defense. “Hold up, I didn’t say your marriage, I said-”

“It’s extraordinary, truly, how you manage to shove your entire foot in your mouth like that.”

“We really need to work on your listening comprehension, I said nothing about-”

Your server sets his plate in front of him. “Poe, honey, you ever heard of ‘stopping while you’re ahead’?”

“C’mon, Miss Patty, back me up here,” Poe entreats the older woman. “Marriage shouldn’t be all logical, right?”

“They call it a partnership for a reason, you noodle,” you can’t help but interject.

Patty’s smile to you is fond as she schools Poe. “See? This is why she’s the brains and the beauty between the two of you.” She reaches across the counter to squeeze your hand, admiring your ring with motherly affection. “I woulda been questioning his sanity if your man hadn’t put a ring on it as soon as he could. You’ve always been a catch, babygirl.

“And you-” The look she levels at Poe is so reminiscent of your 10th grade geometry teacher you have to smother your giggle. “-you stop raining on her parade, or I’m callin’ your daddy.”

Momentarily scandalized, Poe’s jaw drops. “You wouldn’t.”

“Watch me, kid.” Patty crosses her arms with the attitude of a woman who has raised four children and has zero time for your shit. “You either put up, or shut up.”

You immediately lower your gaze to your mug and take a furtive sip.

Poe opens his mouth to make some (most likely tasteless) quip, but is saved from the wrath of Patty by the bell dinging in the window.

She makes the universal ‘I’ll be watching you’ sign at Poe. “Kes is on my speed dial. Don’t test me.”

“Yes, Miss Patty,” Poe replies by rote, waiting until she walks away to murmmer, "Do you think Mrs. Rudesky trained her in that glare?"

You can’t help your snicker. “Somebody’s in trooouble.”

“Naw.” He dismissively waves his hand, handing you the ketchup with the other. “Miss Patty loves me. She does, don’t you look at me in that tone of voice; you know it’s true.”

You chuck a sugar packet at his head as he laughs and turns to his plate.

While he demolishes half of his burger and you pick at your fries, you can’t help but fixate on Patty’s comment to Poe. Of course you know exactly what she meant. To address it with Poe would mean crossing a line you could never uncross. You haven’t been brave enough to take that risk before; are you brave enough now?

Your ring feels like a ticking clock, and you idly twist it with your thumb as you lose yourself to a tempest of overthinking.

“Anyway,” Poe says around a mouthful of food, saving you from your thoughts, “All I'm saying is you might as well just go to the courthouse if you don’t want to give it the gravitas it deserves.”

It takes you a moment to remember he’s talking about your wedding. “Maybe that's exactly what we'll do.”

His exaggerated horror makes you laugh. “I forbid it," he scolds, waving a fry for emphasis. "You don’t get to deprive me of my Best Guy duties.”

“Presumptuous of you to assume you’re going to be my Best Guy,” you sass, taking another sip of your tea.

“Presumptuous of you to assume I’d let anyone usurp me.” He toasts you with the remnants of his burger. “Someone’s gotta bring the romance to this shindig, honey.”

Your eyebrow cocks almost involuntarily. “We’ve been over this, you are absolutely not the go-to expert on romance.”

He tries and fails to look offended. “I’ll have you know I’m a VERY romantic guy.”

“Poe. The love of your life is a 34 pound corgi.”

He flippantly tosses a curl off his forehead. “Please, BeeBee knows she’s gotta share my heart with-” His sentence abruptly cuts off.

Even though his words are glib, they immediately extinguish the levity of your banter. You both know how his sentence ends.

“Sorry.” Poe finally breaks the uncomfortable silence. “I- sorry.”

Swallowing your heartache, you shrug, feigning nonchalance. “It’s fine.”

It’s not, but that subject is mutually understood to be taboo.

It’s the Unspoken Truth that is never discussed. The two of you have been considered a packaged deal by everyone since, well, forever. Defining the semantics of your relationship has always felt trivial, when the depth of your connection is immeasurable.

Now, though, with your wedding looming, the need for honesty carries an exigence it never has before.

You twist your ring once more.

“...tell me why Patty told you to ‘put up or shut up’.” It’s a demand, not a question, blurted out before your brain catches up with your mouth. You stare resolutely at the chipping tile surrounding the order window, unable to look at him.

His meal halfway to his mouth, you can feel the startled weight of his gaze. The apprehension of finally putting words to the underlying bond that has always existed between you nearly suffocates you both.

He slowly lowers his food back down to his plate, wiping his mouth and hands with a napkin as one last futile delay of the inevitable. “Do I really need to say it?” he finally asks.

“Yes.” You need to hear it. You need him to voice it, after two and a half decades of pretending your friendship is nothing more.

You need him to admit it, so you can find the nerve to admit it yourself.

“I-” His normally suave confidence is nowhere to be found, and it’s with desperation he croaks out, “Why?”

“Because…” You trail off, trying to find the right words when none exist. The ring makes another revolution. “Because isn’t it time for us to be honest with each other?”

Your heart is racing, and you’re sure it’s audible from across the diner. You’d wager Poe’s is as well, given the ashen color of his skin.

He clears his throat. “Can’t we keep pretending?”

His voice takes you back to when you were children, when he knelt in the grass next to the freshly installed headstone bearing his mother’s name, asking plaintively why his mother had to die. You didn’t have an answer for him then, and you don’t have one that isn’t selfish for him now.

You try to keep your voice from trembling as you give that selfish reason. “Because I’m getting married, Poe. I need you to say it before everything changes.”

I need you to say it before it’s too late.

He’s silent for several long moments, and you can feel disappointed tears welling until he finally speaks.

“I first saw you on the day your family moved in,” he says quietly. “You came over when your parents were meeting my parents across the hedge. Remember how ecstatic they were that there was another kid the same age next door? When you introduced yourself to me, your smile-” He can’t help one of his own as he relives the memory. “Your smile was pure sunshine. And it changed my whole world.”

Yours had changed too, the first time he’d given you that sweet half-grin, so different from the self-assured smirk he shows everyone else.

The entire diner seems to hold its breath as he softly, but sincerely, finally admits to The Unspoken Truth:

“That was when I started to fall for you.” He finally meets your eyes. “And I’ve never stopped.”

You hoped the admission of the secret would remove the elephant from where it's sat on your chest for years, freeing you to fill your lungs deeper than you've ever been able to before. But it doesn't. It merely shifts the weight to your stomach, queasy with anxiety. You wonder in that moment if you’ve made a terrible mistake, finally exposing the truth between the pair of you. Because now, you have to face the reckoning of your own choices.

You twist the ring again.

Poe is blissfully unaware of your inner anguish. His eyes haven’t left your face, and you’re sure he doesn’t even realize his body is leaning towards yours, drawn by an indefinable magnetism. “But you’ve known, right?” His voice is barely loud enough to hear over the cacophony of the dinner rush. “You have to have known.”

For half a heartbeat, you consider denying it. But you’ve never been able to lie to him.

You nod, infinitesimally.

He looks like he can’t decide if he’s relieved or horrified. “How long?”

You lick your lips. “Since that day at the creek.”

“Since-” He sits back heavily on his stool. “Fuck.”

The memory hangs between you, simultaneously sentimental and sober.

“I can’t drive past the park without thinking about it,” you quietly admit.

“I couldn’t forget that day if I tried.” His chuckle lacks both sincerity and strength. “That was when you always had those braids-”

“Oh god, not the braids.” You cover your cheeks with your hands. “I was hoping you’d forgotten those.”

“Never. They were adorable.” His smile is fond. But the levity slowly fades from his expression, and he clears his throat. “When I heard you scream, I- I don’t even remember running. I was on the baseball diamond one second and then I was there.”

You remember. A picnic with your parents at the riverside park, where you'd used Poe’s recruitment by schoolmates for a game of catch as an excuse to escape to the peace of the water.

Like Poe, the rest is burned into your memory; the pyrographed terror as you slipped on the slick rocks and tumbled down the bank, your rapidly-failing grip on the crag all that kept you from the rushing current below; that fear reborn as relief when you felt his hands seize yours and haul you back to safety. He’d wrapped you in his arms as your body shook in silent shock, refusing to let go until Kes pried his arms away so your mother could squeeze you. She’d sobbed her gratitude to Poe while Kes hugged him tightly with relief.

But you didn’t feel truly safe until that night, when Poe met you in the treehouse, and held you while your tears finally fell.

Poe, the boy with curly hair and the cocksure smile; the other half of your soul.

After that day, the change between you was slight, and if you weren’t so attuned to everything that was him, you might not have noticed. But even at that young age, you knew Poe as well as you knew yourself. And that meant the subtle shifting of balance between your twin orbits was as irrefutable as the pull of the moon on the seas.

He studies his hands; those calloused, strong hands that have held your own countless times over the course of your lives. “I didn’t- I mean, what twelve-year-old has any concept of what love is, really? You love your dog, you love your grandma’s snickerdoodles, you love dinosaurs, whatever; but how can you understand what it means to love another person? To truly, deeply love someone, the way your parents love each other? A kid can’t process feelings like that.”

You quash the instinct to reach for his hand.

“It was even more confusing because it was you, us.” He’s still addressing his hands, but his voice is regaining some of his signature tenacity. “Shit, you’ve been my best friend since I was six-fucking-years-old. We practically grew up at each other’s houses. I call your parents Mom and Dad. You have a fucking Christmas stocking at our house! It shouldn’t feel like this, I shouldn’t want-'' His curls become chaotic as he rakes a hand through his hair. “I have dreamed of telling you how I feel since, fuck, since you were shaking in my arms next to that fucking creek. You can’t possibly understand, it’s-” He swallows whatever he is about to say as he drops his head and grips the back of his neck like a lifeline.

This is a side of Poe he’s tried so carefully to keep secret. It would be startling to see him so exposed if you weren’t feeling the exact same way.

“I have loved our friendship as much as I’ve loved you,” he eventually says, his voice lacking its usual fire. “I have never felt this kind of connection with anyone. None of the women I’ve dated, none of the other friends I’ve had, not my parents; there has never, ever, been anyone in my life as important to me as you. So that day, when for half a heartbeat I had to consider what my life would be without you in it, fuck.”

You don’t dare to breathe.

“I’m pretty sure that was the day I fell in love with you as more than my best friend,” he muses. “Or, rather, that was the day I knew.”

The crack in your heart grows even larger.

“‘Cause really, I fell for you little by little, every single day I’ve known you, until you were so firmly entrenched in my heart that it would stop beating without you. It was something in here-” He rubs the left side of his chest. “-and I just knew. I knew you were it for me.” He makes a sound that’s half laugh and half sob. “I can’t even remember what it felt like before you. Loving you is as essential to me as breathing.”

His words sit like lead in your stomach, their weight shackled to your every whisper of doubt about your engagement, your relationship, your resolve to ignore what your own heart has known for years.

Your ring sparkles under the lights, a beacon of your guilt.

“I-” You have to stop and lick your dry lips before you can speak. “This isn’t fair, Poe.”

His brow pinches. “Honey-“

“No, Poe, you-” You press a palm against your forehead, desperately trying not to cry. “This isn’t fair. It’s been years. Why didn’t you- I’m getting married, Poe.”

“Yeah, I caught that.” You can see his hackles starting to rise.

It doesn’t quell the need to deflect your frustration with yourself as anger back towards him. “We’ve been friends for 25 years, and you waited until I’m fucking engaged to finally admit all of this?”

“I wasn't alone in this,” he defends. “You never brought it up before now, either.”

“So?! You could have said something years ago, you could have stopped me before I- before-” You realize your volume and glance around, embarrassment burning up your neck. Only the people sitting closest to you have taken notice, but merely glance curiously before going back to their own conversations. Mortified regardless, you turn back to Poe and swallow thickly. “Were you ever going to admit it, if I hadn’t said something?”

You know his answer before he says the words. “No.”

His admission stings more than you’d care to admit. “Didn’t you want- why didn’t you even want to try?”

Why wasn’t I worth the risk?

You can see the tick in his jaw as he struggles to find his words.

“I was scared.” His voice cracks, and he has to take a moment to compose himself enough to continue. “I didn’t know well enough to say anything when we were kids, and after I… I know I was different when I came back.”

You’re shaking your head before he even finishes his sentence. You know what he’s going to say. “No, Poe-“

“Don’t. It’s the truth. I was, I am, different,” he insists. “And I need you to hear- I have to get this out. Please.”

If it weren’t for the pain in his eyes, you would have continued to protest. But you swallow your objections and listen.

He breathes deeply, almost as if courage will be inhaled with the oxygen. “I wish I regretted joining up, but I don’t. I can’t. They needed me over there. I’m a damn good nurse, and I know I made a difference.”

You nod. “You are, Poe. And you did.” You will never tell him you’d cried yourself to sleep for two solid weeks after he’d shipped out.

The waiver in his voice makes you want to cry all over again. “The things I saw- the things I did, you can’t-” He sucks in a desperate lungful of air. “You can’t live through that and not come out changed. I’m not that same person I was, back when I fell in love with you. And you…” He desperately looks away as his eyes well with tears.

It takes every bit of restraint you possess not to jump off your stool and gather him into your arms.

“It isn’t that you’re not worth it, sweetheart,” he says once he’s regained his composure. “It’s that you’re worth everything. You deserve-” His shoulders slump as he takes a shaky breath. “You deserve the world. And I am too fucking broken to deserve you.”

As your eyes water, you try to cling to your indignation. But the fire in your belly is gone. All that remains is the gnawing emptiness of grief.

Next to you, Poe shoves a fist across one suspiciously wet cheek, before sitting up with a sniffle and resolve. “So, I kept my mouth shut. I was wrong and I was a fucking coward, but you asked why.” He presents a hand, palm up. “That’s why.”

“I deserve to have made that choice for myself,” you whisper.

He exhales heavily. “I know.”

The two of you lapse into silence once more, but unlike before, it’s not comfortable. Poe’s heartache radiates from every pore in his body, and your shame smothers you where you sit, until it becomes too much to hold.

“I'm sorry I was such a coward,” you finally manage to whisper. “I could have admitted the same things, and I didn’t because I was terrified I was reading you wrong, and that you didn’t really want me like that.”

The barest flicker of hope enters his eyes.

“I’ve loved you since I was six-years-old.” Your confession is barely audible. “I don’t know how to be me without you.”

Even knowing they need to be said, the words stick in your throat. You shift your focus to the peeling vinyl of the counter, willing your lips not to tremble as you force out what feels so wrong you can scarcely bear it. “...so maybe it’s a good thing, then, us not doing this 'til now. Now we can learn how to be on our own.”

Around you, the diner continues through a normal Friday evening. Plates clatter in the kitchen as the cooks call out orders; someone starts Patsy Cline on the jukebox in the corner; Patty cracks jokes with a regular at the other end of the counter.

But you and Poe exist in a frozen heartbeat, the silence between you deafening and endless.

You can feel his eyes fixed on you, the warm carob gaze that has always seen through every bluff and emotional barricade you’ve ever attempted; those eyes that crinkle when he laughs, that always hold such affection; those eyes that looked up at you, filled with tears, as you held him next to his mother’s grave; you’ve lived a lifetime in his eyes.

And now you can’t bear to look, knowing you are the one responsible for what you’ll surely see.

“You-” Rasping, he clears his throat, pausing for several long moments before he speaks again. “That’s it then?”

The first of your tears escape as you shake your head, still unable to look at him. “Of course not.”

“‘Being on our own’ sure sounds like you’re done with us- with me.”

Hurt laces his words, and you finally gather the strength to look up. His face is pale and impassive, the tick in his jaw the only tell that he’s holding on to his composure by a swiftly-fraying thread.

“That’s not what I meant,” you insist.

He makes a noise that borders between a laugh and a curse. “Then what? What do you mean? For the love of God, I am begging you to tell me what you mean.”

That’s the issue- your head and your heart are at war over the decision. Your head says you need space, that you both need to figure out how to exist in what will be your new normal, with Poe no longer your binary for the first time in your lives; You owe it to your fiancé, to yourself- and to Poe- to establish those boundaries now.

Even if your heart doesn’t want to agree.

“I mean that it’s not fair for us to carry this- this,” you clumsily explain, gesturing between you both. “We can’t carry that part of our relationship anymore if we aren’t- if we’re not going to be anything besides friends. It's not fair to...” You swallow thickly. "...anyone."

His bark of laughter is scornful.

“You don’t get to be pissed at me,” you jab back with a glower. “You’ve had twenty five years- fuck, Poe, twenty five years, to admit your own feelings; you do not get to be pissed at me.”

“You’ve had twenty five years to admit it yourself!” The pain you’re both feeling is more than evident in his voice. “This isn’t one sided; I’m not the only one to blame here.”

The entire conversation has been at such a low volume, even Patty has yet to noticed that your relationship is in the midst of a supernova. You’re both vibrating with hurt, and anger, and mourning for a friendship that can never completely return to what it was before.

When Poe speaks, you’re so wrapped in your own turmoil you almost don’t hear him. “Are you still going to marry him?”

It’s one last chance, one last hope for the future you've both dreamed of.

But it’s come far too late. And your silence is the confirmation you can’t force yourself to say.

With a broken nod, Poe drops his head into his hands.

When his shoulders start shaking, you scoot off the stool, ducking under his arms and wrapping yours around his chest. You burrow your face against his neck as you’ve done a thousand times before. He reciprocates, holding you securely, almost reverently.

“All that matters to me is you’re happy,” he eventually murmurs, his breath warm against your hair. “Really. Don’t ever doubt that.” He takes a deep, shuddering breath. You can feel it in his body, always so warm against yours, and your heart cracks even more. “I love you as much as he does,” he chokes out, fiercely. “You know that, right?”

You tip your head up to meet his gaze, trying and failing to force your lips into a smile. “I know.”

Time slows to a standstill as you cling to each other, and you both know what's about to happen.

He searches your eyes, seeking permission, maybe even hoping you’ll stop him before you both cross a line that can never be undone. But you can’t resist this, not when you’ve longed for it for so long. He delicately caresses the line of your jaw, using that single finger to gently guide your head forward, and presses his lips to yours.

You know it’s wrong. God, it’s so wrong. But you can’t find it in you to care. You meet him fully, neither of you hesitating as his mouth slants over yours, and you taste each other for the first time. You can feel his heart racing in his chest as he pulls your body even closer against his, and feel your own heart mirror the frantic pace as you desperately hold on to him.

Novels celebrate the moments of true love’s kiss with choirs of heavenly song, fireworks, and overwhelming passion. But the first kiss between two halves of the same soul doesn’t need angels or fireworks. It’s peace. It’s balance. It’s the sense of your heart finally, finally finding completion.

And having to end that kiss, with the knowledge that it can never happen again, feels like the universe itself is ripping in two.

It takes every bit of strength you still possess to pull away, both of you breathing heavily, unable or unwilling to end this moment.

The laughter from a booth across the diner finally breaks the spell, and as you realize this is possibly the end of your story with Poe, your heart breaks right along with it.

The ring is a leaden weight on your finger, pulling you down to the bottom of the sea.

A sob bubbles up from your chest. You can't do this anymore. You frantically gather your things, tossing a few bills on the counter and avoiding his attempt to help.

“I- I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Poe, I can’t- I have to-”

You freeze halfway across the diner when he gently says your name. You don’t need to see his face to feel the resignation in his words.

“There’s nothing I can say, is there?”

You can’t look back or you’ll completely shatter. “Goodbye, Poe.”

The jingle of the bell feels like an admonishment as you push through the door.

Series Masterlist - Part 2

A/N: The title comes from “I Fall to Pieces” by Patsy Cline.