#sorry yue qingyuan and liu qingge

[fairsweetlonging]

system wardrobe malfunctions and small scenario pushers: exteme edition au

after his qi deviation, shen qingqiu starts working on slowly building up relations with his fellow peak lords and disciples; saving liu qingge in the caves, spoiling luo binghe rotten, freely praising his students, inviting the sect leader over for tea, he's a whole new person!

and yet... his friendliness levels aren't going up.

he knows it's a bit icky to judge his relations with other people based on numbers an alien entity is giving him, but he needs them to survive, and he swears that once he's above a certain threshold (somewhere between "civil" and "friendly", he figures), he will mute every and all notifications regarding it.

but they're just not going up. since his deviation he's at least managed to claw his way from "hostile" to "tolerant" with most of them, but some are somehow still stuck in the "aloof" section! they wouldn't even care if he died!

he just doesn't know what he's doing wrong; he understands these things take time, but it feels so bad when people refuse to sit next to him or sigh when they're assigned a mission with him, especially since it's not his fault.

now, it so happens that, one day, the system hears his woes and takes pity on him.

【 user seems to experience difficulty increasing character favor levels 】

you could say that

【 would host like to utilize our special deluxe package to activate 'The Path of Blossoming Hearts and Unspoken Affections' free of charge? ₊˚⊹♡ 】

though shen qingqiu isn't trustful of the system's antics, he can't deny that so far they have helped him well enough, and since it's free of charge with no penalties, wouldn't it be a waste not to use it? the title is a bit dubious, but was the original shen qingqiu not known for his frozen heart? for never sparing a single nice word to anyone? this could be his chance to let it blossom without the system nagging on his characterization.

【 accept optional mission? [yes]/[no] 】

he picks [yes].

two weeks later, he wishes he hadn't.

the package is devided into small scenarios that mostly appear at random, ranging from small dialogue challenges where he has to pick the right option (he really doesn't like those, the dehumanization of it makes his skin crawl), to the equivalent of two rivals getting locked in a room together.

the first few scenarios are minor and not very impactful, to the point where he's finished three of them and his favor count with qi qingqi has increased a whopping +2 (still "aloof") and that of wei qingwei +5 (still "tolerant").

his fourth scenario, however, reminds him of exactly why he should never accept gifts from strange screens floating in the sky.

he's on a nighthunt with liu qingge to slay a mirebeast that's been terrorizing travelers—an amphibious creature with thick, slimy skin, a crocodile tail and a leech-like mouth that shoots mucus when threatened... and shooting mucus it did.

while his clothes can easily be cleaned with a cleaning talisman, he never feels truly clean himself unless he actually bathes. luckily, there's a beautiful, glass-like pond nearby that's surrounded by natural demonic-repellent vegetation, a win! he's just draped his clothes over a nearby branch and submerged himself in the water, when the system rings out.

【 heads up! small scenario "Stolen Silks and Sunlit Waters" is about to begin! penalty: none. wishing user good luck (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) 】

hold up—stolen what.

stolen silks. his silks. stolen by a mossy-jade stag that happens to scratch its huge antles on the exact tree he hung his clothes on, which rattles the branch and causes his robes to fall exactly onto its head, spooking it into a gallop as it disappears into the forest.

how. how does that even happen.

shen qingqiu is just about to get out of the water when of course liu qingge chooses that exact moment to stomp into the glade looking for him, even though he should have been miles away to the village to ensure the people the beast is dead.

for anyone looking in from the outside, it's not a bad picture: shen qingqiu, with his hair pulled up and away from his slender neck, submerged to his (very bare!) pale shoulders in golden sunlit waters, surrounded by lotus flowers and lily pads. to liu qingge, this must be a terrible view, apparently—shen qingqiu can think of no other reason that would cause his face to flush so bright red.

liu qingge tosses his outer robe on the grass between them and turns resolutely around. it's only a bit insulting—is shen qingqiu not pretty enough to try and sneak a look at? even just a glimpse? meanwhile liu qingge is trying really hard to mentally recite the ethics sutra to not fixate on the sound of shen qingqiu getting out of the water (naked!!) or the rustle of fabrics as he wraps liu qingge's robe around his (naked!!!!) body. when liu qingge turns around he flushes an even darker shade as he sees shen qingqiu's bare legs and feet sticking out from under the robes.

"thanking shidi," says shen qingqiu, who notices none of this, as he pulls the robe a little closer around him, "for coming to this one's untimely rescue."

liu qingge grunts, turns, and walks away.

【 congratulations! liu qingge's favor increased. character satisfaction points +50. please continue to work hard! 】

shut up

【 ૮(˶╥︿╥)ა 】

they return to the sect victorious, but very embarrassed. the mirebeast gets all the blame. where his clothes are? well—uh, gone. the mucus dissolved them. yes he knows that's not how mucus works but it did this time okay?!!

yue qingyuan acts a bit strange seeing shen qingqiu wearing liu qingge's outer robes. he almost qi deviates when he finds out his shidi is wearing absolutely nothing under it. it's all very dramatic. apparently the sect is made up of people who shower with their clothes on or something.

【 ⁺‧₊˚bonus scenario!!˚₊‧⁺˖ interactive dialog quest: pick the best suited options to win additional favor points! 】

i don't like where this is going

"shidi?" yue qingyuan asks, looking at him with those big worried puppy eyes.

【 choice A: (demure) this shidi is cold. will you not invite me in at least?

choice B: what are you looking at?! mind your own business stupid old man!

choice C: i'm in love with liu qingge 】

WHAT

if he was drinking tea he would have spat it out, and then coughed himself to death. what the hell kind of options are these!!

【 system has based these options on what will earn (or lose!) user the most points. please pick one. 】

[ admin notes: option A will earn +60 points. option B will neither increase nor decrease points. option C will decrease -100 satisfaction points and increase +200 heartbreak points ]

shen qingqiu silently curses the system. option B is way out of line, even for the original shen qingqiu, who probably would insult yue qingyuan, but not with so little class. he doesn't even consider option C an actual option. and, well, he is cold. and wet. and almost naked. he would like a warm bath and some clothes. A it is then.

he doesn't like the way yue qingyuan's face light up when he grits out the dialog.

【 congratulations! yue qingyuan's favor increased. character satisfaction points +60! keep up the good work! 】

he can't keep doing this much longer.

unfortunately, he does have to keep doing this for much longer.

he's just about to go to bed when someone knocks on the door. luo binghe is already sleeping so he goes himself. just as he's about to open the door the system rings out—but it's too late.

shen yuan is used to wearing old tshirts to bed and no pants (he hates the feeling of his legs being restricted while he sleeps), so he doesn't really care when the only equivalent of this in pidw is a silk nightgown. his mother wore them, his sister wore them. hell, one of his brothers once bought one for fun and ended up using it for months. it's florally embroidered with puffy sleeves and reaches to his knees, that's decent enough, right?

【 heads up! small scenario "Dreamy Encounters at Dusk" is about to begin! good luck! 】

he has no idea what that's supposed to mean and he doesn't care. he opens the door, and it's mu qingfang. not... that unusual, but still.

"can this master help you?"

it takes mu qingfang a moment to remember what he's here for, it seems, because he stares at shen qingqiu for a good few seconds before raising an eyebrow like he's caught him doing something wrong.

"does shen-shixiong always answer the door like this?"

shen qingqiu glares back. "only when unsolicited guests come stumbling around my porch in the middle of the night."

"fair enough."

apparently he's here on behalf of yue qingyuan, who had asked him to do a post mission check up as soon as he was available, which is now. which yue qingyuan had apparently forgotten to relay to shen qingqiu himself. awesome.

he invites mu qingfang in (he can hardly close the door on him, it's late for him too!), and sits through the usual poking and prodding.

the system is prodding, too.

【 would user like some advice on how to maximize point earning? 】

no

【 ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀) system is only trying to help!! 】

i really don't need your help with this, thanks. i can keep a conversation on my own.

【 optional system booster: not mandatory. user may choose to decline this quest.

option 1: this one appreciates your care. the hardship is... unexpected. (look away shyly). i find it difficult to accept help sometimes, even when i need it.

option 2: i'm in love with you.

option 3: stand up and pretend to faint into his arms 】

shen qingqiu is about to spit blood—what the HELL is this!!! why do all your options make you look bipolar HUH??? and what's this about professing my love to people?!! why is that always an option??! this isn't a dating simulator, stupid system, they'll think i'm crazy!

【 all these options result in an increase of character satisfaction points (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) 】

HOW

【 (ó﹏ò｡) user seems misinformed about character preferences. [mu qingfang] likes to take care of people! 】

... i decline the quest. booster. whatever. i'll figure it out myself. and stop talking about him like he's some one dimensional character!

they hear stumbling coming from the little side room, then the creaking of floorboards. binghe peeks through the door, hair sleep-ruffled and his robes pulled on over his sleeping clothes.

"shizun?" he asks, worried, "what's wrong? why is mu-shishu here?"

【 ⁺‧₊˚bonus scenario!!˚₊‧⁺˖ interactive dialog quest: pick the best suited options to win additional favor points! 】

oh god, not again.

【 option A: (gently) nothing is wrong, binghe. this master is alright. go back to sleep.

option B: (gently) nothing is wrong, binghe. this master is alright. (invite him to sit next to you during the examination)

option C: (gently) nothing is wrong, binghe. this master is alright. mu-shidi is just keeping me company tonight. 】

huh. so you can give meaningful options that i would actually consider picking?

【 ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜ 】

[admin notes: option A will decrease -100 points for luo binghe. option B will increase +20 points for luo binghe. option C will decrease -300 points for luo binghe, and increase +20 points for mu qingfang. option A & C increase luo binghe jealousy levels with 400 points].

[thirstywaffles]

Guess who drew this instead of doing my thesis haha.....

Template by pompipurin !!

[nibbelraz]

Ok

[wynntermelon]

drawing the whole svsss cast by memory? pshhhhh. easy . (is so normal about this book

[starry-bi-sky]

pouring one out for luo binghe in my disciple SQQ fic, poor guy has taken a backseat here. we're nearly 30k words deep and he hasn't even shown his face once. it'll be much longer before he even actually talks to Shen Qingqiu.

(i say im pouring one out but in reality im sitting in my director's chair chewing on a cigar and wearing a beret as he tearily and unsuccessfully pleads with me for more scenes with Shen Qingqiu)

[sinn-bee]

M*gma sketch dump

Unicorn Lqg (from an au I’ve never shared anywhere oops), ScumDragonAU Yqy with all his scars, Fishswap (Merliu au researcher Binghe with Kama’s MerLqg) and Researcher Binghe and Merliu getting to kiss (Binghe is trying to prove a point) (the point is that he’s totally not in love with the fish) (he’s wrong)

[levemetal]

I have a million and one svsss AU ideas that idk if I'll ever write cause I have 0 confidence in my untested writing skills. Any of these appeal to you?? Go ahead, use 'em. Know any fanfics like that? Please please PLEASE leave them in the comments. Ideas to add? Anything? Please go ahead I have no friends that are as deep in the svsss brainrot as me to subject this to ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

Continued under the cut due to excessive rambling

These will be Ghost King/Calamity!SJ cause he has been living rentfree in my brain ever since one braincell at one AM shouted about it so you have been warned.

- Dual Ghost Kings YQY and SJ, Post canon of PIDW. That's it that's the idea. Their extras hurt my cold dead heart way too much and as much as bbygirl SJ is a piece of shit, Yue Qingyuan deserves happiness, and for that he needs his Xiao-Jiu. Basically YQY does not stay dead when Bingge turns him into a pincushion à la White No Face to Xie Lian except with arrows. What happens from here? Idk didn't get that far but I imagine he steals back his (probably dead) Xiao-Jiu, maybe does some other batshit insane shit like we all know that deep down he's capable of, and the duo fucking COMMUNICATES for once in their life and they live happily ever after. Bonus points for hilarious deaths for Bingge.

- If you're a filthy multishipper like me, want a BingJiu version of the above QiJiu? Easy, SJ decides to haunt Bingge's ass for eternity and vice versa when Bingge kicks the bucket and so they spent the rest of eternity trying to make each other miserable in increasingly ridiculous and creative ways. Maybe along the centuries they find a common enemy or sort their shit out and proceed to make their awful existence everyone else's problem. A match made in hell, truly <3

Are you seeing a theme yet. I like a general comedic air to svsss AUs, it just belongs to the svsss experience ya know? Anyway carrying on-

Shen twins, and SQH twins cause why not. If you want Binghe twins too, actually probably funnier with Binghe twins, where one is our beloved maiden Bingmei and the other OG!PIDW Bingge but forced back in time with memories of the PIDW timeline. Transmigrator SQH aka Airplane gets the peak lord + Mobei-Jun plotline while OG!SQH is just chilling as an An Ding Peak Hallmaster or something. Meanwhile, the Shen twins have a funny game of imposter going on. As far as everyone is concerned, there is only one Shen Qingqiu, Shen Yuan. Shen Yuan transmigrated in earlier into the novel, but ended up going to CQM with Yue Qi while SJ got stuck in the Qiu household as in canon. From here the details can change but the main idea is that

A) Shen Yuan knows how to do his peak lord job actually

B) SJ is a calamity ghost, having died either in his disciple years or alternatively never made it out of the Qiu household alive

C) Both SY and SJ have been playing switcheroo when SY needs to head out and do stuff or just wants SJ to do his paperwork for him.

I still need a good reason for the switching and duping, but wouldn't it be funny if the disciples just had to deal with their peak lord behaving WILDLY different at times. Most of the time it's good ol' Shen Yuan smiling at disciples, way too enthusiastic for monsters and plants and keeps forgetting his fans everywhere. Then one random week in the month after he has a resting bitch face, scowls, snarls and bitches at anyone and has 0 patience for teenage attempts at music.

Most shrug it off as just terrible migraine weeks, but some disciples are suspicious, most of all Bingge who is CONVINCED something is WrongTM. Like, he KNOWS SQQ and this SQQ is just so different, something must be different. He doesn't know how right he is yet everyone just thinks he's actually insane.

I know this is probably increasingly insane and dumb, but fast forward to the Abyss opening. SJ was probably there to keep an eye on his clumsy twin, but SY ends up asking the ghost to look over the Luos, as the system still demands that they go to the abyss. So SJ after much grumbling agrees (after all he probably just was unmasked as ghost calamity, and the twins as demons, with a huge amount of cultivators moving their way. It's really the smaller hassle to jump into the Abyss and deal with the horrors there. Besides, the scholar in SJ would be curious about the abyss (and SY too let's be honest) ), kicks both in and goes "Alright we're taking an impromptu field trip" and jumps in after leaving SY to deal with the political mess that comes after.

Anyway, the last AU can be changed in various ways, like make it a PIDW time travel fix it with only the OGs around, or just Shen twins, etc. Feel free to shout at me how dumb this all is.

[cautiouslyyyoptimistic]

Mama mia au for scum villain that makes no sense where luo binghe, Liu qingge, and yue qingyuan are the three potential fathers to shen qingqiu's child. Bonus points where it's a transmigration scenario where shen yuan takes over shen jiu's body at the start of this romcom and he's like: "...who the fuck are these people... Why am I singing?? I have a child?! THEIR WEDDING IS TOMORROW??!!?"

[whumpberry-cookie]

(SY & SQH synchronised:) "Wė.ẅilL.ɓe.ŋiçe. Ŵe.wænt.ťø.satisfy.ýøu."

(LQ:) "What... the actual fuck got over them?"

(YQY:) "I don't sense an evil qi."

Binghe realises it's not the real Shizun when he suddenly has no trouble communicating his feelings and affection :')

So Binghe gets in SY's dream realm to search for his conciousness. Just to find it corrupted by strange wires and bolts there (electricity).

But obviously the system favours LBH, so it tries to keep LBH there. (Imagine the wires painfully wrapping around LBH. Or maybe even making their way down his throat and nose and he can't breathe- WHO SAID THAT? NOT ME) But then SY's conciousness is appearing again from the slumber and going feral, cuting and ripping off the wires, because LBH's in danger.

Well look at that, self-sacrifice and continous electrocution for him!

________________

Febuwhump 2k25 - Day 4 - Hivemind

the System is taking over

[disgracefulthings]

Yue Qingyuan, whispering: We can't let him know

Liu Qingge, also whispering: He will find out eventually

Shen Qingqiu, walking up on them: What do you have there?

Liu Qingge, quickly hiding something behind his back: Nothing!

Shen Qingqiu: Ah, that wasn't suspicious at all

Yue Qingyuan, also hiding something behind his back: Sorry about that xi- Qingqiu-shidi. It looks like another volume of Regret of Chunshan came out so we had confiscated them from disciples

Shen Qingqiu, hiding his flushing face with a fan: I see, well you both don't need my help for that. I will take my leave

Yue Qingyuan, after making sure Shen Qingqiu is out of earshot: You nearly gave us away!

Liu Qingge: I panicked!

Yue Qingyuan, taking out a book written by 'Arrow Shooting Towards The Sky: We can't let him know about the new harem drama about him. He would never look us in the eyes again!

[ineffectualdemon]

Why they got canceled - SVSSS Influencer AU

Airplane "Drama" Youtuber- He wrote smut for a living in the past and that was enough for some people. But also the money laundering and money scams. He does not care

Shen Yuan Video Essayist- got in too deep about dumb fandom drama, panicked, faked his own death. Eventually comes out years later when he's making internet essays about monsters and his past is mostly forgiven because he seems sorry

Shen Jiu Troll Channel: first for hiring a hit on Liu Qingge which he didn't do and then later and more severally for throwing hot food at a customer service employee (Luo Binghe before he started his channel ). It doesn't hurt his career because he makes money by being hated

Yue Qingyuan ASMR channel: for defending Shen Jiu

Luo Binghe Cooking Channel: for stalking Shen Yuan (revealed by Shen Jiu) which leads to Shen Yuan being half canceled and Luo Binghe being half uncancelled when they start dating because of the stalking

Liu Qingge Martial Arts Channel: for punching Shen Jiu even though people thought he deserved it and later for refusing to apologise for breaking a statue by kicking it

Zhuzhi-lang Nature Channel: for stalking Shen Yuan but is forgiven because he's just so cute

Tianlang-jun Book Review Channel: for reading erotic RPF of his own son

Liu Mingyan Book Review Channel: for writing erotic RPF of Bingqiu

Sha Hualing beauty channel: for having her nudes leaked because she definitely leaked them herself. She didn't even deny it

Mobei Jun Ice Carving Channel: killed a man

[archerdepartures116]

For your all transmigrator au, i need to see MF pretending/actually being the concerned older brother type to LBH even tho their on different peaks now.

MF: If I appeal to the protagonist he won't kill me by ants right ??

LBH: NYY won't talk to me, I'm on Bai Zhan, I saw Liu Qingge in his inner robes and Ming Fan is acting like my older brother even though he has no reason to talk to me cause we're on different peaks. Am I being cursed or blessed ?

SQQ: (Walking onto Bai Zhan Peak) Luo Binghe !

LBH: Cursed definitely cursed-

(Sorry for rambling lol, your au is just really funny to think about)

Lmao I love ramblings this indeed is a funny thought

Ming Fan, with a happy welcoming smile: Shidi~ shidi~ what can this shixiong get for you? Has your Bai Zhan martial siblings been treating you well?

Luo Binghe immediately needs to scrub his eyes with sand cause did he just see Ming Fan of all people smile warmly at him???

Then he sees Shen Qingqiu waltzing around Bai Zhan peak without disciples trying to jump him? And the Bai Zhan Peak lord actually welcomes him??? AREN'T THEY SWORN ENEMIES??

Sqq walking around and actually having a civil conversation with Yue Qingyuan and Bingge is even more flabbergasted. When did he take that stick out of his ass and mend his relationship with Yue-Shibo?!?!

[silentheiss]

Subscription to SHAME Declined!

Shen Qingqiu knows that something is wrong. He doesn’t know what is wrong in particular, but sometimes is definitely off.

He walks just a little slower than usual, Luo Binghe matching his pace at his side easily.

It almost feels like a Without-A-Cure blockage, only it’s not uncomfortable nor does it restrict his wi in any way. Shen Qingqiu also doesn’t think it’s something bad. It doesn’t feel dangerous. So, not like Without-A-Cure at all.

As they approach Qiong Ding Peak, Luo Binghe walks just a little bit closer to him, his warmth familiar and comforting. He smells like spice, incense and crisp winter morning even though it’s summer. Shen Qingqiu feels extremely lucky, for a moment, and as if he could fly without a sword. His husband is the best at easing the tension out of him.

“Binghe smells nice.” He comments quietly.

“Shizun smells the best.” Luo Binghe retorts momentarily.

Shen Qingqiu can’t help but laugh.

“Adorable.” He says. Luo Binghe squeaks, as he often does when Shen Qingqiu compliments him. Not that he manages to do it often, even if he, maybe, would like to.

The Peak Lord Meeting is especially boring this time around. Wei Qingwei is talking about something with a great passion, but Shen Qingqiu can barely hear his account of his new dormitory repair plan. He looks at his husband, who’s feigning interest almost flawlessly. He really is beautiful. His eyelashes are long and thick, fluttering softly every time he blinks. His eyes-

“Shen-shixiong.” Qi Qingqi calls from across the table. “Are we boring you?”

“This one can endure, Qi-shimei.” Shen Qingqiu replies, barely looking away from Luo Binghe.

“Shixiong’s husband just interests him more than this one’s report.” Wei Qingwei laughs mirthfully.

“Certainly.” Shen Qingqiu answers unthinkingly. “Have you seen him?”

Luo Binghe gasps. Everyone in the room goes awkwardly quiet. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t really understand why. He said nothing but plain truth.

“This master didn’t mean to interrupt.” Shen Qingqiu says, even though he didn’t interrupt anything. “Please, continue, Wei-shidi.”

“Shen Qingqiu.” Liu Qingge barks. “What’s wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong, shidi. Can’t this one praise his own husband a little?”

“Shixiong!” Liu Qingge snaps.

“Shizun!” Luo Binghe cries.

“Shidi?” Yue Qingyuan calls softly.

Why is everyone being so strange?

“Does shizun really hold such a high regard for this one?”

“Wh-! Binghe! Of course I do, you’re a dream come true!”

“Is there a reason we’re talking about Luo Binghe instead of discussing Peak’s performance?” Yue Qingyuan asks, voice carefully neutral.

“Wei Qingwei prompted and this one was bored enough to speak out.” Shen Qingqiu answers, absently patting Luo Binghe’s thigh, hoping to get his shaky breath back under control.

“Does Shen-shixiong always circles back to admiring his husband the moment he loses interest in conversation?” Qi Qingqi sneers. And hey! He thought they were over that already!

“Yes!” Shen Qingqiu says, feeling more and more annoyed. “I thought I said this already!”

“Is shixiong feeling well?”

Aaand, here’s Mu Qungfang. Figures.

“This master feels fine.” Shen Qingqiu says. “But there’s clearly something going on and this one doesn’t think he should stay at the meeting any longer.”

“That may be wise.” My Qingfang nods.

Shen Qingqiu nods and stands up. He’s out of his chair already when he notices Luo Binghe is sitting shock stricken and still in his own chair.

“Binghe.” Shen Qingqiu sighs. “Let’s go home.”

Luo Binghe turns to look at him, eyes glassy and utterly uncomprehending.

“Binghe, let’s go.”

His husband blinks at him, very prettily and very uselessly.

Shen Qingqiu sighs, again, and turns to look at Liu Qingge.

“Liu-shidi, your hair looks very nice today.”

That finally bears fruit. Luo Binghe jumps out of his chair and starts whisking Shen Qingqiu away.

“Sorry, shidi!” Shen Qingqiu laughs, throwing a glance at his red-cheeked martial brother. “I know you hate it, but flirting with you a little is the best way to get my husband’s attention!”

Liu Qingge frowns, mouthing flirting? back at him. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t worry about it.

Once they’re outside, Shen Qingqiu laughs outloud, clinging to Luo Binghe’s arm, even though his husband’s hold is iron-tight as it is.

“Binghe is very hot when he’s jealous.” Shen Qingqiu lets him know.

Luo Binghe whines, quickening his steps.

“In fact-" He starts, but Luo Binghe doesn’t let him finish.

“Shizun, this one is begging you to wait with more confessions till we’re home.”

Shen Qingqiu shrugs, but indulges his husband. Why is his shameless husband is acting so shy all of a sudden is weird, but-

Oh.

Here it is. Shameless. Shame. That’s what’s missing.

Shen Qingqiu has been lacking it severely this last hour at so.

System! What’s goin on?

[Bravo!] System dings cheerfully. [Host successfully uncovered event Subscription to SHAME Declined!]

What?

[Event Subscription to SHAME Declined will finish in 6 hours 23 minutes! Host should enjoy the experience!]

How come I didn’t know about the event? What’s even the objective here? System!

[Host may consider this secret mission a parting gift! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!]

With that, System blinks out of existence. If not for Luo Binghe, Shen Qingqiu would fall to his knees right then and there, but his glorious husband would never let that happen, would he?

“Shizun?”

“I’m good, love.” Shen Qingqiu murmurs, half delirious from relief. He’s free?

“Shizun!”

Oh, right. Endearments. He doesn’t use them, does he? Now his husband is crying out in the open. Poor protagonist’s pride!

It’s fine. Shen Qingqiu can fix this.

“Binghe is very hot when he cries, too.”

They’re in bamboo house in record time. That’s a good thing. Shen Qingqiu has got to placate his husband and tell him all about the System while the event is still going.

[tinynerdycthulu]

ranking svsss characters on how likely they are to get an abortion

shen qingqiu/yuan: 0/10, obv he would never if it was binghe's. as far as i know the only major character to have a stance on abortion at all (if he was binghes mom hed never abort him) how can anyone deny him the chance to live out his milf dreams

luo bingmei: -10/10, its literally shizuns child, how could this lowly disciple ABORT it???? hed probably get jealous of his own unborn kid tho

liu qingge: 3/10, he'd probably keep the baby due to his personal sense of honor/morals but if his life was in danger he'd pursue an abortion. the baby might just like. die on its own tho. this man cannot take care of himself

shang qinghua: 7/10, would keep it if mobei-jun asked him to. otherwise has no parental instinct. is probably actively terrified of both pregnancy and having a kid for valid reasons.

mobei-jun: 5.5/10, would probably keep it prior to airplane extras if it was politically beneficial and post airplane extras if it was sqh's but otherwise feels no sense of obligation to a fetus

shen qingqiu/jiu: 9.9 repeated/10 bordering on 15/10, this man gets abortions regularly. in fact he is the sole reason why there is a dedicated abortion clinic on qian cao. he wishes probirther fearmongering was real and abortions actually caused fetuses to scream and bleed so he could personally be witness to his child's 'life' being snuffed out. the only reason he isnt a 10/10 is bc after aborting like 10 yqy fetuses he realized it actually caused yqy more pain if he KEPT the baby. unfortunately the baby is kinda useless (sorry its not shen yuan) and he just. ditches it.

yue qingyuan: -5/10, sj demands that he does but this man does not have it in him to abort sj's child. paradoxically this leads to them somewhat fixing their relationship.

liu mingyan: 8/10, too busy writing yaoi to parent BUT she might keep it for shits and giggles and to use as a reference when writing bingqiu mpreg kid.

ning yingying: 9/10, shes baby not mommy. also shes neither qualified nor willing to parent, maybe in the future she could deal with the responsibility

ming fan: 6/10, he wouldn't want to but it would be forced upon him c-drama style. hes the shu son and the main wife cant stand his kid being the first grandchild. do you see my vision.

luo bingge: 10/10, this man doesnt believe life begins at conception OR at birth hed perform post-natal abortions if his kids annoyed him enough.

[mommysorryshizun]

Shen Yuan, 22, starts playing Proud Immortal Demon Way, a well-known Otome game, and gets insanely frustrated at the fickle point system, coding errors, and totally unbelievable dialogue! He absolutely trashes the game across all platforms - from Twitter to Reddit, there's no one who is a more dedicated hater than he is! His ratios on all platforms are not exactly in his favour... At the root of it all lies his hatred of Otome games in general - Shen Yuan hates being unable to say what he truly means.

Then one day… he bumps into Luo Binghe irl. Literally. In Liu Qingge’s pretentious uptown coffee shop of all places- face planting right between the man’s tits while he’s distracted by harassing someone on Twitter - oh my god, what kind of bad cliche is this??!?!?!!! At first, he’s so shocked he can’t even speak to apologise, staring dumbly at the fucking Adonis in front of him. When he finds his voice again, he squeaks out an embarrassing “sorry!” before scuttling off, right out the cafe door from whence he came. And without his coffee! The stranger didn’t even look that much like Luo Binghe from the game! Right……?

It doesn’t seem to matter… until he arrives at work to find fucking MOBEI-JUN!!! THE GUEST EXECUTIVE FROM THE COMPANY’S MAIN BRANCH!!!! Shen Yuan stares at him for an embarrassing amount of time, to the point that Mobei-Jun raises his eyebrow in question, before gesturing to the seat beside him. Shen Yuan…………... IS GONNA DIE!!!!!! Men can’t… they can't be allowed to sit like that! It should not be allowed! It's not like Mobei-Jun is really doing anything special, one ankle resting up on his knee, legs spread wide open and… SHEN YUAN PREFERS TO USE HIS IMAGINATION!!! THANK YOU!!!! At least his imagination isn’t so dangerous for his heart…

Shen Yuan can explain away many things, including not-Luo Binghe’s appearance at the coffee shop and Mobei-Jun being. Entirely Mobei-Jun, name, and all. But when it happens a third time!!!!! Shen Yuan becomes convinced he’s cursed. Yue Qingyuan might be the whiniest, most tragic character in the game but god he is so tall, his shoulders are so broad, and his smile- This is not allowed. Shen Yuan is sure there has to be some kind of karmic law against this. He’s been cursed, oh my god, he’s totally been cursed. Coffee shop not-Binghe, workbei-Jun, and now new neighbour Qingyuan. NO ONE’S BEEN IN THAT APARTMENT IN DECADES!!! WHY NOW!!! WHY SHEN YUAN??????

It only gets worse from there.

Mobei-Jun might not give a flying FUCK about Shen Yuan, his sole focus remaining on Shen Yuan’s insufferable colleague, Shang Qinghua, but that doesn’t stop Shen Yuan from getting almost-boners every time the man scoots behind his chair to go to the bathroom during long meetings, or stares at him with interest when he presents a PowerPoint manifestation of the ideas he had at 3am. And Yue Qingyuan might definitely be trying to get in Shen Yuan’s pants and Shen Yuan knows as soon as he unlocks this man’s backstory his life will be ruined but that doesn’t exactly mean he’s avoiding the free food and company he offers.

The only person he hasn’t seen recently is not-Luo Binghe… which is good! Luo Binghe hates Shen Yuan in PIDW, who’s to say real life won’t be the same? Shen Yuan prefers to be an asshole through the screen, not in real life where the risk of a man who you could fit two liquidised Shen Yuan’s into punching him in the face is very very real. This lack of meeting might also be because Shen Yuan hasn’t gone back to Qingge’s coffee place for two weeks. The man (friend???) in question, a coffee connoisseur (apparently) may or may not be threatening his life for skipping his morning stop for so long.

Unfortunately, Shen Qingqiu is stupid, so after those two weeks he assumes the coast is clear and it’s safe to return. It is not. Sat out the front, Luo Binghe is just as tall and unfairly beautiful as last time Shen Yuan had the misfortune of bumping into him. And nope, no, Shen Yuan was wrong this guy and Luo Binghe are fucking identical save for the sweet smile plastered across real-Luo Binghe’s face. As if he could get more attractive. THIS IS SO TWISTED. In another fit of brightness, Shen Yuan pretends not to notice him. Orders his coffee as per usual. He’s almost made it to the end of his order before Luo Binghe goes and ruins everything.

“I’ll pay for it,” Binghe announces cheerily, reaching over Shen Yuan’s shoulder with a credit card. Daddy’s money no doubt. What was his aggravatingly wealthy father's name in-game? Ugh, asshole. Shen Yuan splutters some kind of refusal, but Binghe just hums pleasantly. “You forgot yours last time. They were calling… cucumber for a long time…”

Shen Yuan just needs to go home and kill himself. Right now. He considers scurrying away again, but bracketed between Binghe’s massive arms and the till he just mumbled out a miserable “thank you,” and resigns himself to fate. Luo Binghe finishes his order for him. It’s kind of creepy. Which makes it hot. This definitely doesn't say anything about Shen Yuan sexually or developmentally. Shen Yuan ah, Shen Yuan. At least he rests easy in the fact that real-Binghe is definitely not coming onto him. After all, in PIDW the man doesn't really hate Shen Yuan for Shen Yuan, but for his female persona.

They both wait for his coffee in a corner, Luo Binghe standing so close to him their forearms are almost touching. Shen Yuan regrets wearing a short-sleeve dress shirt today. He regrets being alive at all, actually. He would reach for his jacket but that would mean their arms definitely would touch and he would rather tie himself to a pyre and light the match with his teeth.

“Cucumber?” the server says, unsure. Clearly new. Awesome. Shen Qingqiu now needs to gain back twice the karmic points he lost telling anyone other than Liu Qingge about that stupid fucking pseud. Luo Binghe follows him like a puppy out of the coffee shop. Shen Qingqiu coughs awkwardly.

“Thank you,” he says again. Luo Binghe cocks his head. Like a fucking dog!!! If he knew Luo Binghe was so cute maybe he’d give him a chance in-game… Shen Qingqiu barely avoids smacking himself in the face to tamp down the heat rising in his cheeks.

“You’re welcome… cucumber?”

“Shen Yuan,” Shen Yuan offers his real name with a huff.

“Luo Binghe,” Luo Binghe responds, beaming.

“I know.” Ah. Shen Yuan. You really can’t help yourself, can you?

Luo Binghe cocks his head the other way.

“Bye,” Shen Yuan waves stiffly before breaking into a full-out sprint down the sidewalk. FUCK! FUCK! NEVER EVER EVER GOING BACK TO THAT COFFEE SHOP! SORRY LIU QINGGE!!!!!!

[esamastation]

fanciestgeckofella: desmond transmigrates into liu qingge

(This is not that, sorry, but I do have a snippet where Desmond transmigrated into Yue Qingyuan which I don't think I ever posted, so, have that one instead.)

-

First thing to go through Desmond's mind is something along the lines of, Oh fuck, here we go again. Next is complete and absolute bafflement. Because he's pretty sure he's supposed to be dead right now.

That alone is very confusing. Then there is… this thing.

[Welcome to the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way! This System is designed to guide you as you go about your existence in this world. Operating under the guiding principle, You Can You Up, No Can No BB, this System hopes to provide you with an pleasant user experience!]

Desmond blinks at the floating screen in front of him. It… doesn't exactly look like any kind of Animus screen he's ever seen - it actually kind of looks like it's from computer from pre-2000s or something, with blocky grey boarder like something he's seen in old TV shows. No Animus programmer would be caught dead using aesthetic like that. Right?

… Well, actually. He could totally see some retro-loving techie liking it. Not Rebecca, though, she's a futurist through and through, but if she'd been into the old style Window XP or something, it probably wouldn't have taken much effort for her to install some sort of theme - aaand that's completely beside the point.

It's an Animus. He's in the Animus again… somehow. Hm.

"Um," Desmond says out loud, and clears his throat. His voice is weird, different from how it should be. Not that unusual, in the Animus, that, but it feels… more than just having an ancestor transposed over himself. Man, they must've upgraded the Animus a lot while he was, uh… "I'm… aren't I supposed to be… dead?" he asks slowly and feels a bit silly doing it, because he's clearly still around, and yet…

[You have indeed died! Your consciousness has been transferred, and your role has been bound: Yue Qingyuan, the Sect Leader of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect.]

… Okay, that's a bit different, but he can almost understand it. Consciousness transfer, role bound, that's probably new term for running around in your ancestor's skin. Yue Qingyuan, that's his ancestor this time around then. Cool. Sounds Chinese, which is interesting, Desmond didn't know they had any family there, but hey, Rebecca did say he had ridiculously low pedigree collapse, so that would mean his ancestry spread pretty far, right?

Ezio did have a Chinese student, Shao Jun, so, some pre-existing connections there. Maybe few generations down the line, they became bit closer. Rubbing a hand over his face and finding some of those familiar markers he shared with Altaïr, Ezio and Ratonhnhake:ton - full lips, aquiline nose, high cheekbones… Desmond nods to himself. Yeah, yeah, seems about right.

And yet there's still something just a bit… off.

"Okay," he says, drawing a breath. "I'm still kind of stuck up on the being dead part. Did you reboot my DNA or something? How am I here being, like, a living - or at least a thinking - person?"

The System window seems to consider this for a moment before answering.

[Your consciousness was captured from your dead body and transferred into your new role.]

Oh.

Desmond squints. "Captured how?"

[Your consciousness was captured from your dead body and transferred into your new role.]

… helpful.

So it was the Grand Temple - the Grand Temple did something? He'd been digitised like Clay and Juno, maybe? Okay, yeah, cool, that makes sense. Not sure how well he likes it yet, but hey, he's around, he's thinking, maybe sorta-kinda living and breathing - it's a step above from not… doing those things. Yeah. He can do this. "Nice. And who's Yue Qi-qin - how do you say that name, again? Who is he?"

[Yue Qingyuan is the Sect Leader of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, also known as the Xuan Su sword.]

Desmond hums in understanding, eying the window, waiting for more. Nothing more comes, so he says slowly. "… Okay. And what am I supposed to do with him? I mean. What are we after here? Another piece of Eden, or… what?" he asks, folding his - folding Yue Qingyuan's - arms. "What is the mission status?"

[…]

That's all he gets. Literal ellipses, before the System window slowly flattens and disappear, leaving him blinking at empty air.

"… O-kay…?" Desmond mutters, making a face. "That was weird."

He'd never been left hanging in the Animus before. Not cool. The whole initialisation here process was a bit weird, really. Almost feels like they'd left him with an automated answering machine version of the Animus UI, or something. Was he even talking to an actual person there? What the heck. Why resurrect his consciousness at all, if they're not going to tell him what he's supposed to do here? Even Vidic didn't leave him completely in the dark…

Who resurrected him anyway? The Assassins or the Templars?

Uncertain, Desmond glances around for some sort of guidance or clue. The place is nice, and the graphic quality has gone through some incredible upgrades, like, damn. You'd almost mistake it for reality. But there is something seriously off about this. Not just the weird answering machine Animus, but… everything, really.

It doesn't feel like any Animus he's ever been in either. Usually when he starts out, it's as a passive viewer in his ancestor's memory - it takes a bit before he gets control and even then it's sorta not… not full control. Desmond is more used to being the passenger to his ancestor's actual driver. There's never not a moment where he doesn't feel like a second wheel on a unicycle.

Here, it's just him at the steering wheel, just him on the pedals. There's no other mind, no framework of another life - no shell of a person that once was. It's just him, in another body. Weird.

The terminology used was weird too - nothing like the lingo Rebecca or Shaun would've used. You can you up? No can no BB? What does that even mean?

Desmond rubs at his chin for a moment - baby smooth, not even a stubble - and then shrugs his shoulders and goes to get up. Might as well take a look around and try and figure out the limitations of this version of Animus. And it's not like he knew anything about Altaïr or the others either, not before getting the synchronisation up and running, so… better get started with that.

It's still a bit weird though. Usually he gets thrown into a cut scene first to get started with. Waking up in someone's - frankly rather fancy - bedroom is new. Ezio not counting.

Oh well.

-

And then he walks out under dressed and scandalises all the disciples on Qiong Ding Peak.

Alas that is as far as it got really, but the idea of Desmond as Yue Qingyuan is still weirdly dear to me.