#sorry to prove yall right I really am not to be trusted to post on my own schedule djdjdjjdj

[kaeyacollection]

It's the fact they start him on a heart 💖

[pies-writes-and-more]

a broken heart

Word Count: 2,543

Warnings: sad bean vibes today guys, sorry! Breakup angst and jealousy.

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Fem!Reader, Bokuto Kōtarō x Fem!Reader

A/N: I have no clue what got into me but we’re writing some sad shit tonight apparently. For all my broken-hearted beans out there, I promise I’ll write some fluff sooner or later! <3 Thank you to @thisnoodlewritesao3 for reading some of this for me and giving me the motivation to keep writing - sorry you’ll probably wake up to these feels (please don’t read if you’re not in a good head space, yall!)

Song inspo: When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars (thank you @haikyuutothetop and @tobi-momo for bringing it up cause I totally forgot to add it 😂)

Haikyuu Masterlist

It was like life was stabbing him every few seconds, reminding him that you were no longer there.

Tsukishima woke up thinking that maybe everything would be okay today, pulled his headphones on while he got ready because he was refusing to be alone with his thoughts. But when his music shuffled, why did the first song to play have to be the song you had deemed your song? Why could he remember the melody so perfectly sung in your voice? The way you looked whenever the song came on on the radio.

He remembered how happy you looked that very first day, how you had dressed yourself up just to hang out with him, and how this song was playing in a playlist he had made you and was the one in the background when he had kissed you for the first time.

The melody made Tsukishima’s lips tingle. He wanted nothing more than to kiss you right now.

Yamaguchi’s half smiles didn’t help either. When he joined Tsukishima on his way to school, he just patted Tsukishima on the back like he normally did and danced around the question, “How are you?”

It’s not like Tsukishima would be honest. He’d just shrug and say, “Fine,” and hope Yamaguchi would fill the silence with some story or something dumb.

He knew Yamaguchi was still friends with you, that the two of you talked. He’d never ask for him to stop because if anything, Tsukishima could find out how you were doing without even asking.

“She’s okay,” Yamaguchi told him with a small smile, as if that was supposed to be comforting. Did he think that’s what Tsukishima wanted to hear? That you were doing okay? That you weren’t waking up in tears every night like he was? Part of him wanted to be happy that you were okay, because he always secretly knew you’d be better off without him. But he wanted to be angry at you, he wanted to blame you for the fact that he cried more in the last few weeks than he had ever before in his life.

Tsukishima just kept his eyes forward, like he didn’t even hear his best friend but Yamaguchi had seen the flicker of sadness in him. He had learned a few weeks into the breakup not to mention your name around Tsukishima, but not because the quiet boy asked him to. It was because every time he heard your name, Yamaguchi would watch as his shoulders tensed, how his fists would clench in annoyance. He missed you, but who would ever catch Tsukishima Kei admitting that?

Yamaguchi would never tell him, but he always wondered that maybe if Tsukishima had admitted his feelings more to you, maybe you’d still be here.

Tsukishima would never say it out loud, but he was already thinking the same thing.

It hadn’t taken long for it to feel like the whole world knew about your breakup. People whispered in the hallways, more than they usually did when Tsukishima’s cold aura came by. Your name fluttered into his ears through gossipy voices and the blond boy just wanted to tell everyone to shut up.

Why did your name have to follow him around? Why did people have to look at him like he had done something so wrong? It’s not like he had broken up with you.

“I just can’t do this anymore, Tsukishima, I’m sorry,” you had whispered to him, shifting uncomfortably in your stance. “It just feels like you don’t even want me around most of the time and I feel like I’m constantly bugging you.”

“I never said you were bugging me, did I?” he huffed. Looking back, Tsukishima wished he could’ve bit down on his tongue and cut the sass in half. You had winced at his bitter tone. It was the look on your face that made him realize you weren’t just being insecure or awkward again. You were genuinely trying to leave.

“I want to be with someone who actually wants me around… and I don’t think that’s how we are…” the words left your lips so easily but Tsukishima knew what you meant. You meant that’s not how he was.

“You’re the one who’s leaving,” Tsukishima spat out angrily, glaring at you as you picked up your things slowly, tears in your eyes. Why wouldn’t you look at him? Why wouldn’t you look him in the eyes and tell him why you were leaving?

But when you finally met his gaze, you were already at the door, glancing back at him with sorrowful eyes. Why did you look like you were mourning something? Had it really been that bad? Being with him? “You’re the one not stopping me,” you had said in a voice barely louder than a whisper. You waited there for a moment, as if proving your point to him as Tsukishima just stood there with his fists clenched.

He wanted to lurch forward and hold you to him, beg you to stay even though he wasn’t sure what words could possibly describe how he was feeling. He didn’t know how to explain why he was always so angry or emotionless with you. He didn’t hate you - how was he supposed to say that? He didn’t want you to go but you were already leaving. How pathetic of him would he be if he begged you to stay? What was the point of begging if you were already choosing to go?

The memory was still fresh in Tsukishima’s mind. He couldn’t help but think about it every moment of the day, even still. Some part of him had hoped you would come back - would show up at his house with tears in your eyes and beg him to show some sort of emotions so you could stay. He would if you had come. But he knew that you probably expected him to do the same.

But even if he did, would you accept it? Would you accept his apology? Or was he considered a lost cause?

Tsukishima’s ears perked up, hearing a familiar melodious laughter as he walked through campus for lunch. His eyes searched around and saw you with your friends, giggles erupting from your lips. He wondered how you were still able to laugh with your friends, how your smile still managed to brighten up the courtyard during your lunch. How were you so happy? How come you had never smiled like that with him?

Before he could stop himself, Tsukishima felt himself walking towards you. He needed to see you up close - needed to make sure that smile was genuine because it couldn’t possibly be right? How were you so okay when he was so not?

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi’s hand grabbed Tsukishima’s arm before he could cause a scene, pulling him back from his zoned in thoughts. “You’re not gonna want to do that,” Yamaguchi insisted, meeting Tsukishima’s glare head on. “Trust me okay?”

Tsukishima watched him for a moment, his lips pursing into a thin line, “How am I supposed to apologize and get her back if I don’t see her?”

Yamaguchi’s gaze faltered this time and that’s when Tsukishima knew something was going on. Yamaguchi knew something. Something he wasn’t telling his best friend.

“What is it?” Tsukishima asked quietly, pulling his arm from Yamaguchi’s grip.

Yamaguchi started to say something but the most annoying voice you could ever hear was louder.

“Y/N! My angel! I did it! I ran all the way here just like I promised!”

Tsukishima’s eyes widened just slightly as he watched as Bokuto Kōtarō seemed to run over to Tsukishima’s girlfriend no, ex girlfriend.

“He didn’t, he’s just exaggerating,” Akaashi’s voice came next, trailing behind Bokuto with a look on his face that clearly stated he didn’t want to be here.

You were laughing awkwardly, a look in your eyes telling Tsukishima you really hadn’t expected them. So why were they here in the middle of a school day?

Tsukishima scoffed a bit, wanting to turn back and run away, bury his nose into his studies and pretend like it was fine. But it wasn’t fine. Because Bokuto wrapped you up in his arms and whirled you around in a hug that showed everyone nearby exactly how he felt about you.

“B-Boktuo, put me down!” You insisted through giggles, desperately trying to avoid everyone from staring at you but it was far too late.

“I’m just excited to see you,” Bokuto grinned, nodding towards his best friend. “Akaashi is too!”

Akaashi just gave a nod and continued his conversation with one of your friends, as Bokuto patted your head lovingly, “I told you I’d come see you today, didn’t I?”

“You weren’t supposed to skip school for it, you idiot!” You laughed, shaking your head.

“I’ll go back, promise! I just wanted to see you,” Bokuto grinned.

The smile on your face was wider than before and yet Tsukishima still didn’t understand why. How were you still smiling? How were you standing there with everyone assuming that you were dating Bokuto and not dismissing all the quiet rumours that were starting?

Tsukishima finally found it in himself to walk away, Yamaguchi calling after him and following his footsteps. You had left him and replaced him with a top ace. Of course you had. It didn’t matter how much Tsukishima practiced or didn’t practice. He was never going to be better than him, and he was never going to get you back either.

Over the next few weeks, Tsukishima would hear about everything that Bokuto was and did. He saw posts on your Instagram, which he still glanced at every now and then, and even stole Yamaguchi’s phone sometimes to see your Snapchat stories.

You had everything you ever wanted now from the looks of it. Bokuto would come see you every weekend, even if it meant coming right after volleyball practice. He’d crash on your living room couch or on your floor and according to your Twitter, your mom loved him already.

He brought you flowers one time, completely out of the blue, and there it was on your Instagram. Bokuto with a huge smile on his face and holding them out to you. Tsukishima could just imagine the glow in your skin as you accepted them, that shy smile that you had given to him, what felt like a million years ago.

Yamaguchi watched as his friend tortured himself with your social media, glancing at it with eyes said that he didn’t care, but his bad mood was just getting worse every day. Everyone on the volleyball team knew it too, and even the somewhat-empty-headed players like Hinata and Noya didn’t say anything.

“They’re not dating you know,” Yamaguchi spoke up after a while as the two of them walked home. Tsukishima shoved his phone back in his pocket, as if Yamaguchi hadn’t just caught him glancing at his text message history with you to see if you had randomly messaged him. “I think Bokuto just really likes her but she told me she’s not ready.”

Tsukishima wanted to tell him he didn’t care, but those words just twisted in his mouth and he couldn’t even make a sound. He did care. How could he not? He had loved you, even if he was absolute shit at showing you.

“He’ll be good for her,” was all Tsukishima said after a moment, staring out to the distance and trying not to note the surprise on Yamaguchi’s face. He wanted to mean it. He wanted to be happy for you because your smile was all that mattered to him. But... he couldn’t stop from thinking... from wishing... that your smile was at him instead.

As if the gods themselves had decided to torture Tsukishima some more that day, as the two friends turned into Coach’s shop to grab some snacks, there he was standing right in front of them.

Bokuto Kōtarō with his idiotic smile and a handful of snacks and ramen packets that he was plopping onto the counter in front of Coach Ukai, “Just these please!”

Ukai glanced uncomfortably at Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, clearing his throat as he started to check Bokuto’s items out.

Tsukishima’s ears were going pink - of course even the Coach knew. He wanted to leave right then and there, pretend like he hadn’t even come here in the first place.

But before he could turn on his heels, Bokuto caught his eye. The two of them shared an awkward look, Yamaguchi trying to walk towards the back of the store so that Tsukishima could follow him.

“Look man-” Bokuto started stiffly, his chest puffing out just slightly as he tried to come up with the words.

“It’s the wrong kind,” Tsukishima interrupted, a cold glare shooting right into Bokuto’s eyes.

“Sorry?”

“The ramen.” Tsukishima walked over to the nearby stand and pulled out two different flavours, dropping them onto the counter. “Y/N doesn’t like that one. You grabbed the wrong one.”

He should’ve just walked away then and there, avoided any more confrontational conversations but he didn’t. The two of them just stared at each other, Bokuto looking back and forth between Tsukishima and the packets of ramen.

“Boys,” Ukai’s voice was low, as if warning them not to start a scuffle in his shop.

After a moment, Bokuto just gave Tsukishima a smile, patting him on the shoulder, “Thanks.”

Tsukishima still stood there, even as Bokuto paid for his items (minus the ramen packets that you didn’t like) and as Ukai handed him his bag. The Fukurōdani boy gave a small wave to Ukai and started to head out, the tension just starting to lift.

“She likes flowers,” Tsukishima’s voice cut through the air like a knife, words thudding into existence. “She says it makes her feel like someone is thinking of her without an occasion. And she likes to have her hand held in crowds because sometimes she gets nervous around so many people. She’s not going to text you a lot at first because she’s going to think she’s clingy… and that’s my fault. I made her think she was clingy. But she’s not. She just wants to know that you’re thinking of her and that you’re honest with her.” Tsukishima’s fists were clenched so tightly, his nails were starting to sting into his palms, “And she likes to go dancing. It doesn’t really matter where but she likes to dance to music.”

You could’ve heard a fly buzzing around, or a pin dropping against the floor with how quiet it got. Bokuto’s back was still to Tsukishima, tensing slightly the more that he talked but never fully turning around.

“Slow dance with her okay? Because… I never did with her and she always wanted me to. Do everything I didn’t do with her, alright?” Tsukishima’s voice was louder now, as if desperately pleading with Bokuto.

There was another pause in the air and Bokuto only turned his head slightly to just say, “You got it,” before disappearing.

Tsukishima didn’t realize it until after he had gone that there were tears in his eyes. He thought about every time he saw flowers and thought about giving them to you and how stupid he had thought the idea was. He remembered every moment that he didn’t respond back to you right away when he had the chance to, or when he asked you why you sent him so many things on social media. The picture of that sadness growing in your eyes would haunt him for a while.

Worst of all, was all those times you two had sat in the middle of a field, just listening to music and humming to yourselves. How often you had looked around to find no one around and begged him to come dance with you. He had thought it was stupid. How childish, he had thought.

But right now, he’d give anything to slow dance with you.

Guess it’s true, Tsukishima thought to himself as he rushed home, ignoring Yamaguchi calling for him. He wiped his face aggressively, not even caring how crooked his glasses were getting as more tears streamed down his face. You never really realize what you have until you lose it.

haikyuu taglist (let me know if you’d like to join :))

@al0ehas @aurumk @devilkittymusic @thisnoodlewritesao3 @satan-ruler-of-hells @trashy-simp @jeppiet @tobi-momo​ @darkvadeeer​ @haikyuutothetop​ @livy384​ @babyshoyo​ @jesssobs​

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Tues 30 March ‘21

Happy Tuesday! And to make it a happier tuesday, here’s Louis bursting on the scene to spread some cheer: “every day is a day closer to the first show back!” And that’s just the beginning! Someone asks if he has thought about making a documentary-- “already on it love” he replied. Listen yes, we knew that was what he and Charlie Lightening were up to BUT STILL- OMG!!! SOOO cool. Some people are not so sure but me, I think it’ll be awesome- cannot wait! Trust in Louis yall. And just to prove he’s a man you can trust he reacts in the ONLY correct way to react a dog modeling Walls merch-- “haha love that.” It’s wearing a bucket hat!! The Clifford picture we deserve tbh but for now this is excellent. He also said “got a decent chorus idea down” about what he’s been up to and doubled down on his most hotly debated tweet of recent times, 369. “Explain pls” begged a fan; “369” said Louis again, faaaanks for that love. That’s our guy, always forthcoming about his tattoos! Hahaha. AND THEN he responds to a tweet about how we always read too much into things but that he also trolls us with mystery posts: “fair comment”. WOW. He is truly a little shit and that is that on that! The man we love to hate ladies and theydies! And more on the louie topic of the moment people actually kind of hate, the NFTs. He’s asked about his recent follows and says, “some cool nft companies. I've been trying to educate myself in everything that already exists in that space.”

This year is gucci’s 100th anniversary I guess, and they are marking it by making a push to sell handbags, which means new pictures of Harry with a purses! Or so one can assume, the preview image we’ve seen so far is just his scruffy face, a lot of fluffy fur (on his Macklemore looking coat I mean but there is a lot of Harry hair on display too), and his dick necklace peeping out of the lapel of his shirt, looking extra obscene tbh cause the banana part is covered up so it’s just little unsolicited dick pic hiding in Harry’s chest hair, good lord. Yes yes we know babe you love gucci and dick and your gucci dick banana… anyway, the campaign drops April 22. It’s shot by Harmony Korine, who is a filmmaker, and a set director posted about working on a gucci commercial featuring Harry and Dakota Johnson back in Jan in LA so it seems safe to say there will be moving images to come. And speaking of Harry and filming, Heidi Gardner talked about doing SNL with Harry and told a story about him being reluctant to touch her shoulders for their sketch until she brought it up, and then him saying he was waiting for an explicit invitation to touch her. Aw, that’s our Harry; thoughtful and anxious. I feel like he works so hard to model the behavior he wants people to use towards him like, ‘people please I am begging can you please just be NICE and be respectful and stop grabbing me’, or maybe it’s just that he really understands firsthand how awful it feels to have your boundaries violated- either way I would love to manifest the same respect for him.

Ingrid Michaelson did a patreon live and talked about To Begin Again and how great having Zayn on the track has been; “Zayn's fans are intense. Very sweet. Aggressively supportive I think is the right word.” AHAHAHAHA YES ‘aggressively supportive’ might be the most perfect term anyone has ever coined for any subset of 1D fans so once again, HATS OFF to Ingrid the poet for a winning turn of phrase that I will certainly be using for a long time to come! She also said that the music video will be out in early April (and that it’s “a proper music video. It's not like your standard two people in a studio singing blah blah. It's different.”) Oh yeah and also that… Zayn and Gigi are married??! She said, “We’ve never met, I’ve never spoken to him. Zayn doesn’t do stuff he doesn’t wanna do and the fact that he did this song is very flattering. He’s such a private person and now he’s married and has a child so he does the things he wants to do…” prompting mass chaos in the zquad, but she later confirmed that she had just misspoken/ made an assumption based on their cohabiting and having a child together. And speaking of twitter leaping at the chance to go bananas over nothing, thousands flipped out because Lottie posted her gift bag from the Brits like “this means Louis is nominated for a Brit”!!! Lol WHAT? She got it cause she’s an influencer, but more to the point how does the SISTER of the nominee getting a gift bag make sense in any universe, you think they’re just looking up peoples’ family trees and everyone’s aunt gets a present like… WHAT??? Oh and also that they’re spilling the beans via gift bags before the big reveal… everything about that is ridiculous. Again, I’m sorry to say that I will be very surprised if Louis gets a nom but either way, we’ll find out tomorrow and not before.

And! You can bid now on a giant orange football jersey signed by Liam (or just look at the cute pic of him holding it)! It’s a benefit for the Wolves Foundation (a network of foodbanks in Liam’s hometown Wolverhampton, it’s unrelated to the criminally underrated 1D song alas). I hear it calling for you…

And finally, tune in tomorrow for Harry as Starfox rumors pt 369, this time For Real (only hmm nope probably not)

[lauwrite1225]

Somebody to die for.

Finan x OC; The Old Guard inspired Alternative Universe

Summary : Victoria’s life is rather simple until she has a car accident from which she ends up miraculously unscathed. A series of weird events animates her daily life, everything seemingly bringing her to a strange man. Until this very man knocks at her door.

Spotify Playlist • Masterlist

A/N : Happy Finan Friday my friends! Alright it's still thursday to most of yall, but it isn't in France anymore and I was to excited to post to wait the morning lmaoo. I had so many good feedbacks on chapter one, you all can’t imagine how happy it made me! So as you noticed, I like to change the moodboard for each chapter, I hve fun making this ahah, I hope you all don’t mind!

Warnings : blood and death

Chapter 2 : There’s a truth and it’s on our side

Victoria blinks several times at the man standing right in front of her. Her eyes go down and up his body, analysing every inch of him and when she realizes he is wearing the same sweatshirt as the man in the bookshop, she’s panic-stricken. He doesn’t even have the time to say a word as she closes the door in his face and presses her back against it. Did this psychopath follow her to her home? She doesn’t see any other explanation, or maybe it’s just the one making the most sense. Because even if it's the guy from the bookshop, it doesn’t explain why he is the one she’s been dreaming of for a month now. Christ, things couldn’t get weirder. 

She gathers all the courage she has and shouts through the door. “Who the hell are you?”

She hears the man scoff, the sound attenuated by the door. “Ya wouldn’t trust me if I tell ya like this.” 

Her fingers nervously drum on her thigh. “Are you… Are you the “time traveller”?” This question would probably make her sound crazy, but a stranger knocking at your door after following you from your work place is undoubtedly crazier. The thought makes her realize that keeping talking to him maybe isn’t in fact the best idea, and as the man hesitates to answer, she looks around for her phone. 

“Hum… Yes kinda.” He replies and Vicky freezes. He doesn’t even deny, which confirms her assumption that he really is mad. “But I’m not really a time traveler.” 

Victoria frowns. “What do you mean?”

“That’s hard to explain to a door.” He jokes but Vicky doesn’t laugh, so he answers in a more neutral tone. “I think you and I are the same.”

“The same?” She repeats, her eyes finally falling on her phone. She walks aways from the door to take it from the table and leans against the door again. 

She starts to type the number of the police when he speaks. “It’s goin’ to sound really weird. But… I’ve seen ya in my dreams.” Victoria immediately pauses, her thumbs hovering over the keyboard. Her breath strangely accelerates as she considers his words.

“How can I know you’re telling me the truth?”

“Ya’ve been in a car accident. That’s the first dream I’ve got of ya.”

Victoria is breathless. She has spoken to no one about it, only giving lies, affirming her car has been stolen. She doesn’t know if his answer should reassure her or not, but she switches off her phone and slides it in her pocket before unlocking the door and opening it just slightly. “How do you know that?” She asks him, her voice between fear and curiosity. 

The man’s gaze is soft as he rubs the back of his neck. “Told ya, I dreamt of it. Maybe we could talk inside? It's better if there’s no one to hear us.”

Vicky hesitates, staring alternatively between him and the inside of her flat, until she finally moves away. Every part of her mind is screaming at her how bad an idea it is to let this strange, very strange man in, but her intuitions and curiosity are thinking otherwise. She has spent the weirdest month of her life, and something is telling her he would have the answers. 

“What’s your name?” She asks, closing the door behind him.

“Finan.” He smiles. “And ya’re Victoria?”

She narrows her eyes at him. “I am.” She studies him from a decent distance, actually more like a safe one. He is every bit of the man she’s been dreaming of, tall, thick dark hair, a few scars on his face, strong shoulders and something she has grown to find endearing about him, his childish smile. She wonders if he knows she’s been dreaming about him as well, he would have probably already mentioned it if he did. “So, why do you think we are the same?” She asks, her arms crossed over her chest. 

Finan looks around, as if to be sure that there is no one else listening. “I think you died during your accident.” 

“What?” She exclaims, her eyes widening. “I wouldn’t be standing here if I was dead.” She answers, tilting her head at what seems to be obvious to her. 

“That’s why I said you died.” He replies, insisting on the last word. 

“So I came back to life?” 

“Yes.”

“That’s the craziest shit I’ve ever heard.” She says in an awkwardly neutral tone.

Finan rolls his eyes. “Then you should have a wound, anything that would prove you’ve had a crash. T’was quite violent of what I remember.” He raises an eyebrow and Vicky finds nothing to answer. He is right, she is miraculously alive, but the blood she found in the car and on her clothes doesn’t match that reality.

“How do you know all of that?” She asks again.

He moves forward but she immediately steps back. “I told ya, I think we’re the same. I died several times before.”

Vicky’s face twists in disbelief. “I can’t believe that.” She says. 

The man sighs, his shoulders falling heavily and looking up to the ceiling. “I guess I don’t have another choice than to make ya believe me.” He puts his hand in his pocket and removes a folding knife from it. 

“What are you doing?” She panics, stepping back even more.

He raises his hands in sign of peace. “Calm down, I won’t hurt ya.” He promises.

However, he unfolds the knife and to Victoria’s surprise he doesn’t try to attack her, but brings it to his neck. Finan takes a deep breath and murmurs something before sinking the blade in his throat, grimacing at the pain that occurs. A scream of horror escapes her as he falls to the floor, blood coming out of the wound and his mouth. She rushes to his side, removing the knife and pressing her hand on his throat to stop the bleedings.

“No, no, no, no… Stay with me, please.” She freaks out while Finan is bleeding to death on the floor of her flat, gasping for air. He holds her gaze, and in contrast to the time she dreamt of his death, he seems calm. With her other hand, she tries to find his pulse, but there’s nothing. “No…” She whispers, breathless. “No, no, no! You can’t be dead!” She starts to shake his shoulders and as he remains inert, she grabs her phone in her pocket and starts to tap the emergency number, trying not to tremble too much.

But before she can press on the green button, Finan takes a deep breath as if he is coming out of the water. Surprised, she drops her phone and falls back. He coughs several times, spitting blood as he sits up. Victoria can’t keep her wide opened eyes from him, especially when she notices how the wound in his neck heals by itself in a minute until there’s nothing, not even a scar. He wipes the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand and looks at the red puddle around him. 

“Hum… Sorry for the mess.” He apologizes as his eyes meet hers.

But Vicky can’t care less. “You were dead, and you’re fucking alive.” She whispers, not believing what she just witnessed.

“D'ya trust me now?” He asks her.

Vicky opens her mouth, but no sound comes out of it. She rubs her face with both her hands, not caring about the blood still on them. None of this makes sense, but it is undeniably real. “How did you do that?” She questions him, removing her hands.

Finan's gaze darkens for a brief moment. “I wish I knew.” He stands up, stretching his arms and her mind still can't grasp the fact that a few minutes ago he was dead. He walks towards her but he keeps the same distance she has settled before. “But I'm sure the same happened to ya.” 

Victoria looks up to him and there's some sort of joy sparking in his eyes to know she is like him and she wonders if until now, he has been the only one like this. She frowns, she knows nothing of him, but in a short time, he has revealed her every secret of what she could only call a superpower, and she feels like he deserves to know everything as well. 

“I dreamt of you too.” she says softly and it's Finan's turn to stare at her with wide eyes. 

He crouches in front of her. “Really?”

She shakes her head up and down vigorously. “I saw your death too. But you were wearing a leather armour, fighting in a clearing during the night.” Finan's face becomes as pale as a ghost as she explains her own dreams. “And then you're stabbed from behind, and I can feel all the pain, how the life is leaving your body.” She is quite surprised she succeeds to actually put words on it, thinking of it still giving her thrills. “I dreamt of other things, during other periods of time, but you’re always there.” She concludes, looking up from her bloody hands to him. “What does it mean?” 

“I’ve no idea.”

They both say nothing for a moment, simply trying to understand all the information. Everything seems so surrealistic to Vicky but she can’t deny all of this somehow makes sense. She sighs, like it could clear her confused thoughts and looks at the amount of blood on her floor. 

“Hm… I think I should clean that.” She says, pointing vaguely at the area. 

Finan looks behind him, grimacing. “Aye, let me help ya with that.”

“Sounds fair after you killed yourself in my entrance.” She adds as she rises to her feet, Finan doing so as well, chuckling lightly. 

She walks to a closet and comes back with a mop and a bucket. While she fills it with hot water and a little bit of cleaning soap, she discreetly observes Finan. It’s really strange to see him in a modern outfit after dreaming of him so many times in Middle Age clothes. She frowns, this thought bringing a new question.

“I have a question.” She declares, stepping towards him with the bucket while he grabs the mop she has leaned against a chair.

“Ask it.” He sinks the mop into the water and wrings it out while waiting for her question. 

“When did you die?”

The corner of his mouth rises. “I told ya, I died many times.” 

Vicky rolls her eyes. “I mean the first time.” 

Finan pauses, stopping to clean her floor, his eyes darkening as earlier. “Sometime during the ninth century.” He answers finally.

She makes a strangled sort of noise. “The ninth century? You’re what? A thousand years old? You look barely thirty!”

“I guess I should take that as a compliment.” He chuckles but Victoria isn’t in the mood to share a laugh. 

“Oh fuck me, you must be kidding me.” She sighs, sitting on the nearest chair. “Are you the only one like this?” She hesitates on a word that describes what she means but can't to a better one than : “Immortal?”

Finan shrugs. “As far as I know, there was just me until now.”

“So we are two.” She points her finger at her chest and then his. “Just you and I.” He nods, pinching his lips in a thin line while she shakes her head. “That's fucking insane.” 

“You're tellin' me!” He exclaims exaggeratingly.

But again Victoria ignores his attempt of jokes to ask another question. “How did you find me?”

His cheeky smile fades and he leans on the handle of the mop. “Well, in my dreams I could see moments of your life and I just tried to put all the pieces together.”

“That's creepy.”

This time he is the one rolling his eyes. “Trust me lass, when you'll have kept living for a millennial, being creepy will be the least of your problems.”

“So it was you in the bookshop?” He nods. “And you followed me?”

“I did.” He admits, finished with cleaning the floor. “Alright, maybe it really is creepy.” Victoria raises her eyebrows, as if she's surprised by his affirmation. “But it never happened to me before, and I just… I just had an intuition.”

“Well, it's maybe the least weird thing you told me since you knocked at my door.” She sighs taking the bucket and the mop from his hands to empty it in the toilets. When she comes back after putting everything back into the closet she pays more attention to the blood staining Finan's sweatshirt and her own clothes. “I should change clothes.” She says, pulling the edge of one of her sleeves, already annoyed by the time it will take to clean it correctly. “I must have something for you.”

Finan raises, probably doubting any of her clothes could fit him as she is a head smaller than him. 

“From my ex.” She answers, clearly having read his mind. 

“Ah, yeah. Thank ya.”

She walks away to her bedroom, taking the first clothes she finds and changing, making a pile of the dirty ones. Then she pulls out of a drawer a sweater from her ex that she hasn't thrown away yet. Before coming back to the living room she stops in the bathroom to wash her hands and face from the dried blood. The water is enjoyable, the only thing constant during this day where all her truths are being riled. She stares at her reflection in the mirror, meeting her own green eyes. 

“Maybe it's just a dream.” She says softly and brings her finger to her mouth. She bites in it, hard enough to break the skin. She hisses when she tastes a drop of blood on her tongue. It wasn't a dream. 

Suddenly, knocks at her door startle her and she bursts out of the bathroom. Finan is still in the middle of the living room, looking between her and the door. He looks as panicked as her and Vicky points at the room she just walked out of. 

“Hide in the bathroom.”

Finan doesn't object, grabbing the sweatshirt she hands him on his way. Once she has heard the door of the bathroom closing behind him she rushes to the front door and slowly opens. 

“Becca? What are you doing here?” Victoria asks after recognizing her best friend. 

Rebecca raises a surprised eyebrow. “You seem pleased to see me. I texted you I was coming.” She says, waving the hand with which she's holding her phone. 

“Oh… I'm sorry, I didn't really check my phone.” Victoria rubs the back of her neck. “Anyway, what do you want?”

Rebecca narrows her eyes, warning her that she's sounding weird, so she straightens a little and plasters her best smile on her face. 

“I forgot my gym bag here, yesterday. I just wanted to get it back.”

“Yeah, sure.” Victoria moves away from the door and Becca steps in, patiently waiting for her best friend to come back with the bag. 

She searches in the living room but she becomes pale when she hears a noise from the bathroom. “Is there someone else here?” She hears Rebecca ask. 

At the time she answers, she has found the bag and is walking back to her, quite nervous. “No.” She replies dryly and oh, how bad she is at lying, especially to Rebecca.

Her friend's face breaks into a mischievous smirk. “Are you hiding a boy?” 

Vicky stares at her with wide eyes before scoffing. “Absolutely not!” She hands her the bag quite abruptly. “Here's your bag. Do you need anything else?”

The tan skinned woman studies her for a second, no doubt knowing she's lying and Vicky is sure will probably hear of it in the following days. “No, that's all.” 

As soon as she's gone, Victoria heaves a sigh and turns around when the bathroom door opens. 

Finan's head appears from the small opening. “Am I the boy she's talking about?” 

“Obviously not, you're a thousand years old, old man.” She snaps, joining him.“The hell were you doing?” She pronounces her last words slower as she notices that he is standing bare chested in front of her, his skin covered with scars. She tries to keep her gaze on to his face, the blood now washed away from his beard and neck. “Doesn't matter. Get dressed.”

Vicky waits patiently in the living room for Finan to come back. When he comes back he’s wearing an uncomfortable smile, one of his thumbs jammed in his trousers pocket while he has his dirty sweatshirt in his other hand. There’s an awkward silence but Vicky couldn’t care less, sitting on a chair, her elbows resting on her thighs and her hands sliding into her hair. Finan comes closer to her and gently puts his hands on her shoulder, she doesn’t push him away, even if she wouldn’t usually allow such proximity with a stranger.

“Maybe I should let ya alone, so ya can process everythin’.” He says softly and when she lifts her head his gaze is as soft as his voice. She nods and he squeezes her shoulder before stepping to the fridge and writting something on a post-it glued on it. “That’s the hotel where I sleep, if ya need anythin’.” 

“Thank you.” 

He leaves right after, and somehow, Vicky hoped that as soon as he’d leave things would appear to be just a big joke. But she looks at the finger she bit earlier and there is no mark of her teeth, no wound. Her skin is as soft and healthy as usual.

A/N : This chapter’s dialogues are clearly the base of this fic, espacially the “a thousand yo??!!” sksks, or Finan killing himself, as @maggiescarborough​ told me : a real drama queen. Anyway, see you next week for the next chapter ;)

Tag : @obipoelover​ @for-bebbanburg​ @naps4bats​ @osferth​ @maggiescarborough​ @finansarms​ @dumbledoreisnotmyhubby​

[soundofseventeen]

Happy Ending Pt. 8 (Lee Seokmin)

It’s the last part! Ah! I might lowkey post the epilogue tonight when I get home but we have completed another series!! Thanks to everyone who read this!! (I also might be doing epilogues for my other series ones and have already started the next series but yall don’t get to know about that yet ^-^) 💛

Masterlist

Seokmin took a deep breath, mentally clearing his head. He tried not to think about the ache his body felt or the fact that you were probably waking up alone right now or you in general. He raised up a hand, knocking on the door, waiting for the response to enter. Once he heard his father, he entered the room, going to take a seat across from him. 

“You wanted to see me?” He said, still a little confused as to why he wanted to see him so early in the day. Clearly any business about the betrothal could wait until the rest of the castle was awake. 

“Yes, I wanted to talk to you about this betrothal.” The king sighed, Seokmin nodding. 

“I know I didn’t seem receptive to the idea when you first mentioned it, but I’ve thought a lot of about it and am ready to do my part as the prince and future king.” Seokmin said, repeating the line he recited over and over as he walked here. The king looked at him, raising an eyebrow. 

“Very noble.” He said, tilting his head. “But do you really feel that way?” Seokmin looked at him, a little confused. 

“Do I…?” Seokmin started, trying to think of how to respond. “Of-Of course I do.” The king nodded, standing up and walking over to the window. 

“You know, your mother wasn’t my father's choice. In fact, she wasn’t even a choice in his eyes. Not at all. He thought she was too eccentric with her thinking, too open to hearing everyone’s story before making choices, whether you were a diplomat or the man who brings the milk in the morning. Even though she was a princess, he basically told me that she was completely out of the question.” Seokmin turned to his father, still confused. 

“He had originally had me engaged to another princess, one who would have brought much wealth and benefits to the kingdom. She was a lovely girl, very polite and friendly. I’m sure she would have made a wonderful queen in our kingdom. But, I couldn’t get this one particular princess out of my head. This one princess who’s smile brought joy to everyone who saw it. This one princess, who actually yelled at me the first time I met her because I almost crushed some flowers.”

“...She yelled at you?” Seokmin said, a slight grin coming to his face, trying to picture his mother actually yelling at his father. 

“Oh yes, she told me off. I had to admit, they were beautiful flowers, so I couldn’t really blame her. Those little daisies in the garden? Those have been her favorite as long as I’ve known her.” His father chuckled, remembering the day himself. “Once I realized she was the one I wanted to be with, I fought with my father every day to cancel the betrothal. To let me choose my own bride. It took a while, but one day he agreed. He wasn’t happy, but he eventually saw that maybe I had a point in picking her.” He now looked at his son, letting out a sigh. “Do you see where I’m going with this?” 

Seokmin furrowed his eyebrows, slightly shaking his head. 

“Think a little harder.” The king said, Seokmin looking at his father's desk. “Particularly, think about a certain maid who seems to have caught your eye.” Seokmin’s eyes widened, turning to his father. 

“How did you…” He saw the smile on his father’s face, only causing him to remain confused. 

“The horses talk.” The king simply said, going back to lean on his desk, looking at his son. “I want you to follow your heart son, and I’d really rather not argue with you about this for a few weeks.” 

“...Dad, what are you saying?” Seokmin looked at him, feeling his heart start to pound. 

“I’m saying… My father listened to me and I think it worked out pretty well, for the kingdom and our little family.” He king sighed. “Does she feel the same?” Seokmin blinked, lightly nodding his head. 

“I think so.” 

“I’d find out for sure. Preferably before 3pm today.” 

“Why before then?” Seokmin was confused again, looking at his father. 

“That would give us time to cancel our future guests, should the situation call for it.” Seokmin sat frozen, trying to process what his father was saying. Was he still asleep and this was a dream? 

“...Sir?”

“Follow your heart son. I trust it.” He smiled, patting Seokmin on the shoulder, then moving to sit at his desk again. Seokmin grinned, getting up to leave the office. “Oh, and son?” 

“Yes?” Seokmin looked at him from the door, the smile on his face continuing to grow. 

“Maybe wait an hour or two, give the girl a chance to get back from the stables and get ready for the day.” He winked, Seokmin just smiling at him. “Also, bring a flower.” 

“Thank you.” He said, shutting the door, beginning to sprint to his room. 

*

You sighed, stirring your tea. Jun had been quiet all morning, which was odd. He didn’t say anything when you entered the kitchen this morning while he was cutting up some fruit. He didn’t say anything when you went to your room to change. He didn’t say anything when he handed you some of the fruit for breakfast. He didn’t even say anything when you commented that you were going to head to work. Or when you came back to eat lunch. 

You knew exactly what he was thinking though, so you were for once happy he wasn’t saying anything. 

When you woke up that morning, you were clearly confused. You were almost convinced the entire night before was a dream, something your subconscious made up to make you feel better about the situation (and prove to yourself that you actually did feel things). But why else would you have woken up in the stables then? But you were alone in the stables… At least you thought you were. You were startled by the guard, who told you he was instructed to take you back to the kitchens when you woke up. Once you got to the kitchens and he left you with Jun, he did pat you on the shoulder, giving you a small smile. 

“Don’t worry Miss, I think good things are coming your way.” 

What he meant by that, you weren’t entirely sure. You felt like he was just trying to make you feel better. 

“I’m going to go see if they need any help in the sewing room again.” You eventually said, moving the dish you had for lunch by the sinks. Jun looked up at you. 

“I don’t think anyone is up there today.” Jun said, the first time you heard him speak today. 

“Oh. Well, I’m sure there’s still work to be done in there, might as well go do some.” 

“You know…” Jun looked at you, causing you to look away due to the look he gave you. “You could take a sick day. I’d vouch for you, you could just have the rest of the day off and-”

“That’s very nice Jun, but I need to distract myself today. If I’m working on something at least I don’t focus on it.” You said, giving him a sad little smile then walking out of the kitchens, hearing Jun let out a sigh before you left. 

You walked the halls, the way to the sewing room taken so many times you could walk it on autopilot. You felt so silly. And stupid. How could you let yourself feel like this? You knew there was never a chance of anything actually happening. Logically, you knew that. But you were still here, feeling an ache over something you never even really had. 

Your eyes looked up as you turned a corner, seeing possibly the last person you wanted to see at this moment. Seokmin was sitting on a bench, twirling a little pink daisy in his hand. You looked long enough to see his foot tapping the floor, eyes just following the flower as it spun. You had gone to turn to walk a different way to the sewing room, but once again the fates seemed to be against you. 

Your foot caught the edge of the rug, pulling at the table, nearly knocking a vase to the ground. You managed to catch it, but it still made enough of a noise that it caught Seokmin’s attention. He glanced over at you, holding the vase in your hands, staring at it. Once he processed it was you, he quickly stood up. 

“Y/N!” He said, a smile on his face. Why he was smiling, you weren’t exactly sure. You cleared your throat, putting the vase back on the table and standing up straight. 

“I’m sorry Your Highness. Please excuse me.” You turned and started to walk away, Seokmin quickly running after you. 

“Wait, I need to ask you something.” Seokmin said, catching up to you. He managed to stop just in front of you, causing you to stop walking. 

“I really don’t think-” You said, starting to walk around him. He was quicker though, taking a step to the side. 

“Please. Just give me 5 minutes.” He looked into your eyes, which managed to do the trick. 

“Okay.” You said, Seokmin letting out a sigh, looking around the hallway. 

“Here, follow me.” He said, taking your hand and leading you down the hall, turning into an adjacent hallway. He did one last peek around the hallway, then turned to look at you. “Y/N, do you want to be with me?” 

You blinked at him, startled by the fact that he just boldly asked you that question. 

“What?” You asked as Seokmin took your hands in his. 

“Is there any part of you that wants to be with me?” 

“I… You’re getting married and-” You started Seokmin shook his head. 

“But what if I wasn’t? If that were the case, what would you say?” You looked at him, very confused. 

“I mean… No, but it’s not an option!” 

“But if it is, if I didn’t have to marry this princess and could pick someone who makes my heart pound like crazy, what would your answer be?” You weren’t sure why he was doing this, but you figured if you answered, this would be over sooner and you could go hide in the sewing rooms. 

“I think you know.” You said, jumping a bit as Seokmin pulled you into him, kissing you for the second time. This time it was just as soft, but you could feel a smile. You were just distracted enough, that you didn’t realize what was actually happening until you heard someone clearing their throat, causing you to pull apart and look towards the main hallway. A guard stood there, slightly awkward. 

“I uh… I guess I should tell the king the good news?” He asked, Seokmin nodding his head. You looked at him again, processing the words he said before. 

“Wait…” Seokmin turned back at you as the guard walked away, a smile still on his face. “What… What was that you said about not getting married?” 

“My father might have given me a choice this morning.” Seokmin smiled, holding up the little daisy he had managed to hold onto this whole time. “So… What do you say?” You looked from the flower to his face, a smile on your own face. 

“I’d say it’s worth a shot.” You grinned, Seokmin leaning forward to kiss you one more time, you two just giggling in the hall like kids. 

[dirty-dio-apologist]

Rebirth Chapter 10

Did I wait another year to upload a quick chapter,, yeah I did. Sorry yall here's to 2018 and writing more.. I didn't really proof read it so if there's any issuse; hey its almost 200am on a work night and i just wanna share this with yall. Happy Holidays <3

Read here on Ao3 or on Tumblr under the cut

Word count: 2094

"Ask Wang Chen, he'll know exactly what to give you."

Dio had not sounded this serious since Jonathan had met him not too long ago, his tone of voice caused an unnerving feeling to envelop around the newborn. A necessity? If Jonathan’s gut feeling was correct, he knew that he was not going to enjoy walking into that tavern in tow with Dio. Angel Tears? It sounded like something he heard out of a children’s fairytale book. Even if he did not fully trust Dio yet he decided that he would at least give this man one chance to prove that he was not an absolute terror.

“Dare I ask what it is?”

The newborn’s voice just as low as Dio’s was almost mimicking his tone. It caused the blond to snort a bit, a soft sigh passing from Dio as he walked the mares closer to a post that stood hammed into the broken pavement below. The blond shot a glance over his shoulder at Jonathan, tying the reigns to the post just to keep the mares in place while the two went inside the tavern. Dio straightened up, fixing at his coat before tilting his head towards the left a slight smile forming on those blood stained lips of his. He looked so god damn smug and it continued to make Jonathan sick.

“Like I said before, it’s a necessity.”

Another snooty retort from the blond, Jonathan really knew that he was not going to receive an answer as to what ‘Angel Tears’ actually was until he went into that tavern and asked for it himself. He began to glare at the blond, earning him a soft chuckle before a gentle pat on the forearm. Dio remained silent for the time being as he motioned towards the tavern he owned walking towards it with newborn beside him. Jonathan never really knew what to expect from this hellish man, but he tried not to hope for the worst. The noises of the patrons inside the tavern began to rile Jonathan’s senses like nothing has ever done before, his ears ringing- chest tightening as he came upon the door. Female and male voices alike laughing and singing from inside this painted walls of this tavern. Smells of ale, earth and burning candles wafted past Jonathan as he watched now as Dio began to press open the tavern’s heavy wooden door.

“A new world awaits you, Jonathan. Your rebirth deserves a proper celebration, don’t you think?”

Dio’s voice snapped Jonathan back from losing himself to all the sensations that surround him, he shook his head a bit, looking from Dio to the opening of the tavern door. What he saw next genuinely surprised the newborn; this tavern was not like any he had ever been to. It was beautifully decorated with pictures of women, fresh pale red paint covered the walls as well as a dark oak trim. Three candle’s hung from beautiful gold molds on each wall, covering the tavern in such a calming lowlight. Four tables sat in the interior, one where a man sat drinking and merry making all the while surrounded by gorgeous women. A bar adjacent to those tables, right beside the shuttered windows of the tavern where the older oriental gentleman worked.

Dio motioned for Jonathan to step inside.

“I know it isn’t much but please- it would be rude of you not to accept my invitation to have a drink on the house.”

His voice playful in tone as he slid by the larger man, slinking his way inside of his own tavern. The newborn averted his gaze from Dio before he walked back towards the bar, noticing the intense state of the barkeep. He gave the older man a small wave and smile as he sat against one of the stools. Thankfully no one seemed to be wanting to sit at the bar. Jonathan looked over the older man as he got himself comfortable on the stool. This must have been Wang Chen. He had dark messy hair, a long thin mustache that seemed to go down to his chest, strong frown lines and many wrinkles that dawned his honey colored complexion. He seemed to be busy cleaning a few mugs and wine glasses, hopefully Jonathan had not disturbed him. Without looking up from his work, the barkeep spoke.

“Welcome to the Devil’s Keep- what brings you this evening?”

His voice nasally in tone almost nauseatingly so, it made Jonathan lean a bit closer, that and he did not want to state what Dio had told him any louder than a whisper. Wang Chen raised a thin brow, looking up at the larger man he leaned closer, a chuckle passing from him as he watched and listened to intently. Jonathan glanced around, trying to look as inconspicuous as he could.

“I-I am a friend of Dio’s…”

The newborn began, shaking his head, god he felt so ridiculous.

“He told me to ask for a drink called ‘Angel Tears’. Do you know of it?”

Wang Chen’s posture straightened a bit as he heard what the large man had asked for. He sighed before setting the glass and rag down onto the bar before him, a smile forming on his lips before he gave the newborn a toothy grin; showing off that he himself had a pair of fangs as well. Another vampire, great, thought Jonathan. How many unholy creatures was he going to encounter this night? The barkeep glanced back at the many bottles of liquor and ale that covered the counter behind the bar where he stood before looking back at the newborn before him.

“A new comer, new to this life? Do not worry, I have what you need.”

His voice low in tone, as he crouched down a bit to reach under the bar, fishing for something so it seemed. A sound of excitement coming from the older man as he bounced right back up holding a dark bottle with a red colored cork. His golden eyes sparkled as he gazed this bottle over, hands caressing and rubbing the faint dust residue off the glass. He sat the bottle down onto the bar before turning on his heel to grab a large wine glass. He loomed over his shoulder at the newborn, holding the glass in hand before speaking once more.

“Lord Dio, he does not chose random people for this life…he chooses people he can use for his line of work.”

Jonathan looked over the bottle and glass that now sat at the bar, noticing how carefully the older vampire before him opened and poured the dark red liquid into the glass. It was thick, not like any wine Jonathan had seen before. He caught the scent as the wine glass was filled, oh, it smelt heavenly. He looked from the wine glass up at Wang Chen who was putting the cork back into the bottle.

“Will this help me?”

The newborn assumed it was safe to question the man before him as he used his right hand to lift the filled glass towards him lips, hesitantly licking them before grimacing a bit. He could feel a slight heat emanating from the cup…god that made him want to be ill. Would whatever Angel Tears was actually help Jonathan to not feel that horrid burning ache in the back of his throat; that insatiable thirst? Before he could get an answer out of Wang Chen a soft squeal rang throughout the walls; echoing right back into the newborn’s ears.

“Master has returned with some new company, ladies- look sharp!”

Jonathan raised a thick brow as he glanced over at the blond now, watching him chuckle and dismissively wave towards the girls that gathered around. Only three of them came to see who Dio’s new strange friend was; A short red head with a mole on her right cheek, another taller more slim with light ashen brown hair and one a bit rounder with the sweetest doe eyes he had ever seen. Her hair blonde, much blonder than Dio’s. Who on earth was she, and what was she doing in such a place.

“Darlings, this here is Jonathan- my new business partner; he’ll be helping to manage Devil’s Keep.”

The vampire spoke in such a soothing tone, his hands now resting at his sides as the women glanced from him over to Jonatan who sat at the bar with wine glass in hand. Was that really the name of his tavern? It sounded so ominous, who in their right mind would want to go to such a place? Jonathan watched from the distance as Dio spoke with his girls. They talked amongst themselves for a short moment as if discussing urgent matters. The red head giggling before playfully pushing as the brunette- the blonde, god how she batted those lashes at Jonathan. He noticed her staring almost instantly, Lord, help Jonathan, he was never really one to talk to girls and here was an angel staring him down in a tavern. The newborn felt such a harsh heat in the back of his throat, his eyes noticing the vein in her neck as she averted her gaze back to Dio before speaking up finally.

“I think it’s wonderful that you have help around here again. We really did need another man to lend a hand.”

Jonathan swallowed hard, trying to get the lump out of his throat once more. What on Earth was wrong with him? His now focused on the drink in his hands, a scowl on his lips as if he were about to drink some sort of mediation. A quiet sigh passing his lips as he brought the glass towards them, hesitantly sipping at the contents. Oh. Oh good Lord, this was something ethereal. Whatever was inside that glass, it eased that burning thirst. The bitter metallic warmth of Angel Tears caused the newborn’s eyes to flutter shut. Jonathan exhaled rather deeply as he began to drink more and more of the red contents that filled the wine glass, tipping in back as he savored every last drop that had been poured in his honor. Both hands cupping against the bottom of the wine glass, completely absorbed in the taste and relief that he felt from such a drink. Wang Chen hummed as he leaned onto his bar, right arm flat against it as his left bent at the elbow; head in hand as he gazed up at the newborn before him. He knew how the first drink went, how that sweet relief felt. He glanced over at Dio, nodding his head in his direction as he noticed he was watching the two for a short moment. Jonathan was quite the looker, he still needed to be taught a few new rules however.

“Angel tears. It helps take the edge off.”

Wang Chen chuckled, shaking his head now as he went back to cleaning the mugs and glasses that patrons used that day. Jonathan pulled back from his glass with such a satisfied grunt, licking his lips as he noticed that rim and all around the glass was covered in a residue of whatever was inside the glass. He swallowed hard, thankful the burning sensation had died down, he wondered if he could have more but before he could ask for any it was put away. A defeated look now painted over the brunet’s face as he sat with glass in hand. How he craved more. He heard Dio speaking with the three women once more, noticing that they had all been looking over in his direction. His attention now on the small blonde as she began to speak once more.

“Jonathan will be a fine addition to our happily family.”

Dio listened to what the blonde woman had to say as he gazed back at the newborn who sat at the bar, he smirked faintly, noticing his new partner taking pleasure in his first sip of something so pure and clean. A nod in Wang Chen’s direction was given as he then turned his attention to his girls. Dio’s eyes now focusing on the blonde young woman before him, a hand reaching out to pat her on the top of her soft hair. A small content sigh passed from her lips as she nuzzled up into the vampire’s touch. She sounded so sincere, she always was such a sweet heart. One of Dio’s favorite workers in all honesty, such a valued worker.

“My sweet Erina, you always know exactly what to say.”

[happilyneverafters]

pt 1/4: accepting; the novel text to a bff

I love him. I’ve loved him from the very beginning. I wasn’t in the right mind then. I had just gotten over XXX and I was finally living the fun single life. I knew I would hurt him bc he loved me so much and I couldn’t settle. I f*cked up. Fast forward. He did the same to me. He reached out, thinking that I was still that damaged girl he could just have fun with... he saw I wasn’t and we connected way too much way too fast and he hadn’t dealt with XXX. He literally bought a ring. Proposed. Got a “yes” and started planning a wedding. Then to find out she cheated. Yeah, obviously that hurt. He said he was over it but how could you get over that in literally 2 months? You can’t. I got a promise ring and was cheated on so I know the commitment significance but we weren’t planning a wedding????? So he ran. He wanted to mess around like I did. I was furious. Sick to my stomach on how he treated me. But I don’t care as much as I should bc I’ve been there. And I am so in love with him and it’s so f*cking unconditional and this proves it. He has been my best friend since high school. And I’m almost 25........ so 11, 12 years???? What he did was f*cked up. Hahahaha it makes me laugh out loud how f*cked up it was. And when I truly think about every bit and piece that happened from the time he messaged, to when I called him when driving to XXX and he was the biggest d*ck I’ve ever heard... I literally about puke from the gut wrenching pain... but I don’t blame him................ how can that be? I just truly feel sorry for him. Bc an engagement is the biggest decision someone could make and he made that decision. Only for it to go south. So yeah, he broke my heart. He stomped on it and spit on it and put it in the shredder. But for some reason, all of my tears, all of my depression, all of this weight I’ve gained, all of my poems I’ve wrote and all of the fake things I’ve done/said .... I’m still on the fence on how I should feel. I should be angry. I should cuss him out. I should punch him in the face. I should get revenge. I should move on. I should be happy. But I don’t want to. I want to be sad. I want to hurt. I want to miss him. I want to love him. I want to blame her and not him. I want to blame college and not him. I want to blame time and not him. I want to blame me and not him. And that’s sick in the head of me. Bc he literally told you he couldn’t care less about me. Yet here I am, hoping I’ll secretly see him one day. I know I deserve better. But not a better person. The situation was just off. But I can’t see the wrong in it bc I was that person too. If God continues to keep him on my mind and is giving me the words to write about him, I want to trust that he’s supposed to be in my life. If people keep going back to each other, they aren’t meant to be apart. Sure this was only the second time of going back but will I ever not want to go back???? That’s what I fear. You say I’ll meet someone and I’ll “know” like you did. But that’s how I felt with him. I was seriously the most alive I’ve ever been in my entire life. I didn’t want to sleep. I was excited to wake up. I was living on the edge. I was spontaneous. I wanted to be out of the house. I wanted to be with him even if we were just sitting. Or swinging. I wanted to hear every little thing he had to say. And study every feature of his face and body and mind and heart and soul.

pt. 2/4

He wasn’t the person who hurt me. And I don’t believe he meant it. I feel for him the way you feel for yours and the way your voice changes when you talk about him. But he is such a bag of f*cking d*cks and I hate his guts. I want to karma to take him out and make him call her daddy. But I am so consumed that as soon as I think about how angry I should be, I think “aw I just want to hug him and tell him it’s okay”. Yet he would never in a million years do that for me. So when will I stop wanting to do that for him? Or will I? Like I said in one of my poems, I need to act like he is XXX. I wanted so badly to be XXX’s but he is physically not able. He is gone. I need to look at him that way. Same with XXX. When XXX started dating girls in his town. I was miserable. When he told me not to come to XXX. I was livid. But then I realized. He’s not physically able to be mine. That’s how I need to look at him. But I refuse to believe it. I refuse to accept it. I can listen to yalls advice and I will gladly do it but I can’t promise I’ll ever want it to be true. He doesn’t understand that bc he wouldn’t give me the chance to explain that. He read my words. He didn’t hear my words. Or my tone. He refused to look me in the eye and when I was finally close to it he said “ugh fine you can come over”..... like, no, I’m not going to “ugh come over” and fight for your ear and your heart. I’ll “ugh come over” to physically fight you bc you’re an idiot and need to be taken down a notch bc you’re too high on your horse but again, he’s damaged, he’s got that mindset he needs to be free bc he’s seen the ugly side of commitment, not my side of promising commitment. Again, like I said in one of my poems, I don’t love him for how he treats me bc clearly he treats me like I’m a washed up piece of garbage that a raccoon dug through and slept on throughout the rainy night but bc of who he is and what he’s been through and what is capable of. I’m in love with every bit of him for him. Not him for me. Again, he can’t hear that bc he’s childish enough to plug his ears and not listen. Idk what to do. I’ll move on. I’ll go on this date tonight and try my best to keep an open mind but I know at the end of the night, when I get my phone out before bed, I’ll look at his pics or see what he’s posted/reposted. That’s so dangerous of me. You’re right, I might find someone someday who won’t treat me this way. But I want to at least wait to see if his bas**** a** will grow up first and realize I would gladly ask his mom for his hand, get down on one knee and ask his frat a** to marry me and I would say yes to him every single day of my life. Even if he said no to me, like he already has.

pt 3/4

He won’t come back. And I know that. He won’t. Bc he is able to wipe his hands and walk away bc to him, he did nothing wrong. He was just living the single life. But to me, I was home with him. He didn’t act as just living the single life. To him, he was. To me, it was not at all. And he wouldn’t know that. That’s the thing. He doesn’t know. I could tell him, I’m not scared to express it, it’s just like he said though, it’s pointless. It wouldn’t benefit him, and it wouldn’t benefit me. It’s a waste of breath. I’ve made myself look like a psychotic fool to him. I’d rather sit in my room crying and writing about my feelings, just to save him the time of hearing my voice. I won’t wait for him. It’s not necessary. And I told him I wouldn’t. But unlike him, I’m not going to go out and find someone. The only reason I’ve got the date tonight is bc I got upset and downloaded a dating app for one night. Bc I don’t want to meet someone that way. Which is another fear. I don’t want to meet someone online. I don’t go out to bars. You can’t really meet anyone at a church like ours. It would just have to be a mutual friend or someone I’ve already known. Either way, I don’t want anyone else. I didn’t when I broke up with him a few years ago. I tried to come back but he had already had me blocked bc XXX. So I had to. No one, no one, even came close to how I felt about him. Again, it’s not just “oh I really want to be with him”..... the connection.... the connection is what is real and instant and easy and fun and that’s what I loved. He was my best friend first. Does he really have a connection like that with everyone????

pt 4/4

I can’t cry. I’m trying to. I need to. I’m just numb. This song I’m listening to is so touching and of course, I’m thinking of him, but I can’t cry. I think I’ve literally used up all of my tears. I can’t feel anything. And it got me thinking. Y’all are so tired of hearing me vent about him. I know that. And I’m sorry. I know you know something I don’t. And maybe it’s that he truly won’t come back. And that’s fine. I think I’m finally accepting that. But the thing is, is I know what I want. And I’ve known what I’ve wanted for a long time. And it’s him. It will always be him. It always has been. You say I’ll find someone but the gag is I know it’s him. Whether God tells him no, God has told me yes. So many times. And if he is somewhat available, I’m not going to force myself to move on if I don’t have to. I’m not saying I will refuse others but I won’t give up hope on him but if/until he calls me, FaceTimes, or comes to physically see me.... he won’t come back. It’s easy to not care when you have zero contact. He’s the cool senior frat guy who can get any girl he wants. Toxic. Pathetic. Disturbing. Disgusting. But that’s not him. And I know if he saw me, he’d feel for me what he had before, whether he thinks so or not. I’m still so happy. I haven’t changed. I still am living the same life I did before he came back. And today being in XXX, I didn’t search for him, I was just enjoying my time home, but I can’t say I didn’t imagine what it would have been like with him there with me. Or in the car ride home. Or Rn listening to this romantic song trying to nap. It’s him I want. It’s him I need. But I can’t let you be the one I dump it on. It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I know it’s been... 2 months? You’re tired. I’m tired. So it’s time that I suffer alone. As much as I will pray for that day to come where him and I come face to face, you won’t hear about it. I don’t blame him for anything he did. He wasn’t in the right mind. And even if he was, he wasn’t in the wrong. He hurt me, yes. But I did it to myself. And I’m continuing to put myself in the same pain. That’s on me. No one else. So no one else should have to suffer the consequences. I’m okay even though I’m really not okay. It’s not him I’m letting destroy me bc it’s him who truly makes me feel alive, I’m destroying myself. Satan is using this heartbreak against me and I’m giving them the power to consume the little bit of me that I have to offer someone else. Like I said, I’m not depressed bc of him and I’m not allowing him to be the reason I’m numb... I just think the constant “why” or “why not” or “when” is slowly drowning me. I’ve said many times in my poems that my love for him is the most unconditional love I’ve ever experienced in my life and I know that is a once in a lifetime type of love, a true f*cking love that I just can’t grasp isn’t a two way street, and that is what is driving me insane. I could continue typing for hours and days and months and years about this but again, I’m keeping you out of that now.