#so that’s where it just feels like a stupid gimmick to me. but I guess we’ll see (or I’ll gain a better understanding about the whole thing

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hey I was wondering if you would be up for writing a fic where the reader just showers Buggy in affection and just takes care of him. He could definitely do with some tlc

When you first shown Buggy any form of affection or love, his natural reaction was to pull away, to flinch, to push you away for the sake of upholding the gimmick he had thrusted onto him by others. He just wasn’t use to someone being genuine, being so kindhearted, patient and filled to the brim with unconditional love and adoration towards him like you have that it made him fearful, for the first time for he finally had something he was so scared to loose.

Buggy knew now that he couldn’t run away from this fight against letting himself drop his guard and fall apart within your arms forever, no matter how much he wanted to. He knew that one day he’d have to raise the white flag and admit defeat, little did Buggy know that he’d wave that white flag long ago and had admitted defeat whilst in the comfort of your arms and your sweet honeyed words. You provided Buggy with the safe space to be vulnerable, to be able to be rid of his make up, allow for you to see the beautiful man beneath the flashiness, the gimmicks and the theatrics; He even remembered the words you told him when he first allowed himself to sink deeply into your embrace, which opened his eyes to the route he was leading himself down towards.

‘Just because one person destroyed your ability to put your trust in others doesn’t mean that everyone else is going to do the same.’ You whispered into his ear as your hands ran through his beautiful blue hair with care. ‘The actions of one person isn’t a reflection of others. You can choose to not trust but live to regret to be open with that one special somebody or open up to everybody and blindly hope that they don’t use your kindness to stab you in the back.’

Not that Buggy would ever tell you but you held his glass heart within your hands and instead of smashing it like he originally thought you would, you surprised him by holding it close to your chest; looking down at it adoringly and so full of love that it made Buggy a tad teary eyed, for if someone as beautiful and downright perfect as you could ever love someone as flawed as him without being forced into loving him…then he guessed that he was finally doing something right. Soon enough your arms and being smothered in your kisses and honeyed words had become Buggy’s most favoured place to lay his aching self to rest after a seemingly stressful day, where nothing seemed to go exactly to plan.

‘You look comfortable there? Hard day?’ You asked softly as Buggy grunts as he buries his head into your neck, his arms quickly latching onto your waist tightly. Normally you’d have to be the one who initiated affection, which you still do on most occasions, but you also wanted Buggy to feel comfortable to come seek you out on his own terms rather then force him to. ‘Just cuddle me will ya?’ He said groggily and you couldn’t help but chuckle at his neediness.

‘What’s the magic word?’ You teased, trying so hard to bite back your snickers when Buggy lifted his head from your neck to glare at you softly but before he could say anything, you pressed a quick kiss to his cute nose, rendering him wide eyed and speechless before going in to plant a kiss directly to his lips. ‘Cute.’ You whispered against him, getting off on the expressions you pull out of him from gifting him basic levels of love and affection, before pulling away to look back into his gorgeous eyes that you never went a day without complimenting.

‘I’m not cute.’ Buggy said, his cheeks warm as the arms at your waist tightened their grip. ‘Dogs are cute, cats are cute, but I am not cute. I’m terrifying, people look at me and shit themselves from running away with their tails between there legs. And even then the ones that are stupid enough to stay behind are made examples of, so please tell me again how I’m apparently cute.’ He finished, choosing not to look into those soft, understanding and patient eyes of yours that he oh so loved. ‘You’re always cute to me Buggy,’ you started, raising his head to look directly at you by his chin, allowing your hand to drop back to his waist when you were confident he wouldn’t drop his gaze again.

‘Just like how you’re not only just cute but you’re also handsome, strategic, expressive with the way you talk and how you move your hands whilst you talk, flashy, dramatic, and above all you’re beautiful.’ Between each word you’d press a kiss to some part of his face, ignoring his adorable squeals and squawks of surprise that were music to your ears, not caring that you were smudging his make up and getting it on yourself as you held nothing but pride in your love for your Buggy, for as on rare occasions you would openly express your love towards him but saved a majority of it for behind closed doors; Not as though Buggy was anything but boisterous of his love for you and would shout it to the rooftops for all to hear in a possessive sort of way.

‘Really?’ Buggy asked once the flurry of kisses came to an end, looking at you with bright, hopeful eyes it melted your heart. ‘Yes, of course I do Buggy. How could I not? I’m extremely lucky to have you in my life and I couldn’t be more happier.’ You told him, watching as a goofy smile graced his lips as a chuckle fell out from his lips before Buggy decided to burying his head back into your neck, where he whispered against the skin there. ‘If either one of us is the lucky one, it’s me because you could’ve listened to everyone else and avoid me like the plague but you didn’t and I’m glad you didn’t because without you I wouldn’t know where or who I’d be. So thank you for never giving up on me…I love you.’

[littlelamy]

Incoming letter from Pope 💌

Hey,

Alright, I’m just gonna get straight to the point because I really hate beating around the bush. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and honestly, it’s been bugging me for longer than I care to admit. So, here it goes—how would you feel about going on a date with me?

Look, I know what you’re probably thinking. Pope Heyward? The guy who’s always got his head in the books, who tends to overthink everything, and doesn’t exactly have the greatest track record when it comes to... well, talking to people. Yeah, I get it. I know I’m not the most obvious guy to ask someone out, and maybe that’s why I’ve been holding back, but here’s the thing—life’s too short to keep waiting for the “perfect” moment. It’s not like I have some kind of flawless game plan for this. I don’t have some elaborate speech planned out, and I definitely didn’t rehearse this in front of a mirror or anything... no, I swear I didn’t do that. But I guess what I’m trying to say is, I think you’re worth the shot.

You know, sometimes people don’t see things right in front of them, and they’re too busy focusing on other crap. You’d think that after all the crazy stuff I’ve been through, I’d have a better handle on this, but no—this whole asking you out thing? It’s messing with my head, and that’s saying something because I like to think I’ve got a pretty solid grip on things. But I don’t know, there’s just something about you that makes me want to take that leap. And maybe it’s stupid, but I’m willing to risk it. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? You say no? Okay, cool. At least I’ll know. But, if you say yes? Well, that’s when things could really get interesting.

I’m not trying to pretend like I’m some smooth talker. Hell, I’d probably say something awkward and stumble over my words. It’s just who I am, you know? I mean, I could try to come up with some clever way to ask you out—say something profound, maybe even try to charm you—but the truth is, I don’t have any fancy lines. So, I’m just gonna be honest and say that I’d really love to take you out sometime. No gimmicks, no act. Just me, you, maybe some pizza, and hopefully a decent conversation. Sound like something worth trying?

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I kind of suck at putting myself out there. I mean, I’ve had some opportunities before, and I’ve kind of just... let them slip by. Part of me feels like I should’ve just asked earlier. I know I should’ve, but then I get caught up in overthinking and second-guessing myself. I mean, I do it all the time. I think I’ve spent way too much time imagining different scenarios in my head, so much that I’ve worked myself into a nervous wreck even thinking about it. But here’s the thing: I’m not getting any younger, and I sure as hell don’t want to look back and regret not giving this a shot. So, here I am, hoping you’ll just give me a chance to prove I’m worth it. You’ve got nothing to lose, right?

Now, I know what you might be thinking—what makes me think I’m the right person to ask you out? And honestly, I get it. But I’ve been around enough to know what I want, and what I want right now is to get to know you better. Sure, we’ve hung out here and there, and yeah, I’ve probably made a fool of myself a few times already. But here’s the thing—I’m not perfect, and I don’t expect you to be either. We all have our flaws, and I think we could really learn a lot from each other.

So, I’m just gonna put it out there. I’m not trying to force anything or rush you into a decision. Hell, you don’t even have to give me an answer right away. But just think about it, alright? Maybe you could give me a shot to show you what I’m about. We could do something simple, like grab a drink or check out that new restaurant you mentioned. Nothing too crazy. Maybe I’ll even let you pick where we go. I promise, I won’t drag you into a weird, over-the-top date that makes you want to bolt for the door. I mean, I’ll try my best not to, anyway.

But hey, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just crazy for thinking you’d want to go out with me, or maybe you’re sitting there wondering if this whole thing is just some weird joke. It’s not, though. This is real, and I’m not messing around. I’m honestly trying to put myself out there and take a chance because I think you’re amazing. So, that’s where I’m at.

If you say yes, then great. I’ll probably be a little nervous (okay, a lot nervous), but I promise I’ll do my best to make it worth your time. If you say no... well, I’ll respect that. But I’ll still be glad I asked. I won’t hold it against you, and I’m not going to be awkward or weird about it, I swear. I’m just trying to do something that feels right, even if it’s a little terrifying.

Anyway, I don’t want to drag this out too much longer. You probably get the gist of it by now. I’m asking you out because I think you’re worth it, and I’d like to see where things could go. No pressure, though. Just... think about it.

So, what do you say? Want to go grab some pizza with me sometime?

Pope

taglist: @namelesslosers @maybanksangel @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @rafesheaven @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @rafesangelita @sstargirln @rafedaddy01 @soldesole @bakugouswaif @skywalker0809 @vanessa-rafesgirl @evermorx89 @outerhills @ditzyzombiesblog @slavicangelmuah @alivinggirl @nemesyaaa

[emlan]

Finished DLC!

Here's some Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree ramblings, spoilers under cut.

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. DLC catered to me a lot since I'm a Zanzibart cutscene enjoyer who loves map exploration and Vista money shots but I'm kinda HUH-cat.clip when it comes to some new lore bits and in general the world feels divorced from main game even though main game characters and topics are around?

I don't remember how much souls DLC tied into the other story, but I'm using The Old Hunters from BB as base and it really added extra value to its world and characters and there's just nothing new of real interest in SotE from what I can see…

In a vacuum I can only appreciate even more (literal) brother on brother action but Miquella seemingly being deeply obsessed with Radahan is so out of left field??? Granted I'm not an lorester but what I remember as Miq's key things from flavor text when it comes to ties to other people is him being sad about being unable to cure Malenia of her rot and also sad about not being able to grant Godwyn his true death. The only ties to Radahan is by proxy of his sister fighting him? (Was she even fighting him just to bring bro his crush to him? This makes Caelid getting nuked by her even more of a waste.)

It's so out of nowhere that the Epic Prime Version of him comes off as a cheap soyjak pointing bit pandering to Radahan fanboys (pretty sure he's like no1 fav guy for players right), but fanboys will obviously not be happy about him just being a hollow shell again (?) that might not have wanted anything to do with Miquella (?) so I just can't see this as satisfying for ANY kind of player even on a full Gamer Dude to Deranged Fujoshi spectrum? I imagine deep lore enthusiasts also feels a bit… Ambushed.

I'm not against Miquella doing dark unpleasant or just stupid desperate acts since it was already a popular theory that he was a brainwasher type, but the issue for me is that I'm not sure if this Miq/Rad union is "intended" to be read in such a twisted way even when it's the only way I can read it.

Though I guess the fact general consensus going from "wow Mohg is so messed up claiming Miq no matter Miq's consent" to "wow Miq is so messed up claiming Radahan no matter Radahan's* consent" is poetic….?

*I'm writing Radahan here but really it's also a synonym for 'Mohg' considering he's the one getting desecrated the most.

I'm sure I'll end up watching some vid or writeup making pieces fall into place later but I can't believe Miyazaki is handing me visual age gap brother incest and all I can do is force a strained smile in response!!!

Anyway general whining time:

As much as I love filling out up the map I feel there was too much big "empty" areas. Climbing the dragon mountain was the worst presentation of anything I've seen in a FS title, extremely cheap unfinished filler feeling with the spirit jumps instead of at least adding some kinda atmosphere like the open flower/gravestone fields. The Abyss gimmick overstayed it's welcome since it's too miserable checking if you missed a shiny somewhere without your horse, but at least the stealth parts was such a non-issue it might as well not be there.

While I like that you can see several inaccessible areas from where you stand, and I do think it leads to some fun moments when you're taking a random path halfway across the map and ends up on the other side as an a-ha moment, it was a bit frustrating not being able to tell more clearly how to reach sections. Plus I would've died 10000 times from drops if it wasn't the fact Rainbow Stones protected me from making bad choices.

What mindbroke me most was trying to get into the flower field area north east, having an "oh boy, beating this guy will let me reach it for sure!" moment for both Gaius and Sunflower was such [record scratch SFX]. I did figure posing in front of the statue was most likely the entry afterwards but somehow I had missed the gesture needed (most embarrassing DLC moment considering I tend to fine comb pretty well and the gesture pickup is just sitting there out in the open………. why am I even admitting this shameful thing). Watching trees get knocked over from something moving under the water in the church district was really cool and unnerving and then you realize it's just branch dragon number 800……………..

The wicker men has a great design but fighting them was either a boring slog or a frustrating jankfest trying to toss the bombs right. Peeved that you HAVE to use a furnace pot for the sleeping one blocking the ruin puzzle, hefty should've been fine too.

Bosses are too hectic/aggressive for my taste but that's just business as usual for ER so whatever, last boss really is way too punishing compared to other Hard bosses tho, in fact I just watched ending on YT since I'm stuck still on them :V Camera also makes a glorious return as the toughest challenge of them all.

Think my biggest highlights was seeing the bizarre finger/tongue path under the church and the finger mom boss visual itself and the black humor of the miserable living jars stumbling around with the pot on their head. Ansbach is a hot new waifu and it's very precious how such an upstanding man stays all-in loyal to a Deranged Satan (said lovingly) soooo cute you actually get a "Um, so about how Mohg died…👉👈" prompt with him. There was more NPC voice lines than I expected which was fun. St Trina's design was very neat and shoujo manga. Having to sip syrup 4-5 times instead of the classic Third Time's The Charm is a crime however and I missed making the Trina fanboy jealous until it was too late :/

The open world for all of Elden Ring is such an incredible experience that I'm happy I got to play and I had such a good time and I can't imagine any other studios will be able to reach these map heights but I also hope they never make an OW game again because it's too much when you "need" to replay it.

[oh-no-its-bird]

hello dear author may i get ur opinion on genma. perhaps even genma/kakashi. perhaps. mayhaps. i just think they r neat and if u put them together that's double the neatness.

I love Genma so much actually, I think he's one of my favorite supporting characters to see in fics. Whenever I need a character to fill the roll of "random shinobi" I tend to default to him bc of biases (also his senbon is cool!! I love characters w a gimmick of just having like a toothpick in their mouth, and he has that but w a lethal presumably poisoned needle!! Love that for him)

I don't know how much canon actually provides for him character wise (never actually interacted with canon media lmao, I'm all fanfic) but I feel like there's honestly a lot of wiggle room with him

One of my personal favorite takes that (if I remember right) stems from a couple of @ blackkatmagic's fics is that he comes from a very small clan, distantly related to Orochimaru's own super small clan, the Orochi. Similar to how the Hyuuga and Uchiha are related

I lovee the mamma bear hc with him, I also love seeing him and Kakashi be any kind of friends. Currently I think one of my favorite takes on his and Kakashi's dynamic can be found in @vodkassassin's fic, Ear to the Wall.

Gemna only really shows up for a little bit, but the scenes he did get left a really big impact on me and how I see him (also the fic itself is amazing and is a very large inspiration for Orochimaru's involvement in Chasing Shadows, 10/10 read I HIGHLY recommend it, its a time travel fic but honestly even if time travel isnt your thing I'd still reccomend it bc its just one of those fics that fucks so hard you don't even care ab how you got here to start)

(<- spoken as someone obsessed with time travel fics)

Anyways, Genma/Kakashi!!

Actually thinking about it, I don't think I've seen any real fics about that pairing? I've run into it a few times as a past ship, like they hooked up once or twice or were fwb before the main pair gets together. But never one where they're the focus. That's tragic and needs to change immediatley

I love the idea of Genma being part of Kakashi's class when he graduated stupid young, never really interacting w him but like, existing. He wasn't Gai when it came to trying to hang out and around Kakashi, but he was certainly around.

No idea what he is in canon but I like to hc him as an information / infiltration specialist. So along with being around, he was also the kind of kid to really notice and keep tabs on stuff. (Konoha gossip king Gemna is THE hc to have sorry but I love it sm)

He didn't really approach Kakashi outside of any sort of casual nods or polite "hey"'s till after his whole team imploded.

I can kind of see him interacting with Kakashi in that in-between time where he was ANBU under Minato. But he was still mostly a very observant spectator, no real interaction

So then Minato dies and Kakashi goes off the deep end REAL hard, and Genma finally steps in. Maybe he joins Gai in trying to forcefully pry Kakashi out of his death spiral, maybe he approaches on his own, maybe he notices smthn or bumps into Kakashi alone while he's having a panic attack or smthn and there's a specific moment for that "final straw" where he finally decides to step in

Dunno!

But anyways that's when they start to get to be friends fr

I think Genma would be interesting and good for Kakashi at that point, bc he isn't a stranger, he knows what happened, he can make a lot of very good guesses at Kakashi's triggers and traumas and know what to avoid talking ab. But he's not Gai, who was sort of in the middle of it for a good portion of the drama, having a front row seat to it all. Which also comes with it's own emotional baggage.

Genma is a good middle ground, if that makes sense?

Also I think his calmer carefree energy would be good for Kakashi, especially at that point

They're pretty cute together!! If nothing else they make for very compelling friends when you really sit down to think ab it, and I can for sure get behind them as a real ship

Suddenly I need to go looking for fics with them as a pairing, I might come back and actually write something for them as a ship later

What's their ship name btw? I honestly don't know

[loonarii]

MADE IN KOREA: EP. 1 (my thoughts on the tv show for that british kpop bg sm decided to do for some unknown reason)

So if you didn't hear, SM Entertainment is the latest kpop company to dip their toes into the concept of a western kpop group - we had VCHA from JYP and their show A2K, KATSEYE from HYBE with their show Dream Academy (and I believe upcoming Netflix docu-series?), and now we have 'Dear Alice' from SM with the show 'Made In Korea: The K-Pop Experience'. Unlike the previous two groups, Dear Alice is a boy group, and are specifically all British, whereas the girls of VCHA and KATSEYE are from all over the world. As your local british kpop stan with access to BBC iPlayer (where this show is streaming) I decided to watch and drop my thoughts on the show and see if its any good, basically.

Right off the bat, the pitch to SM was clearly: 'we will make you a new One Direction' - like you can easily pick out of the lineup who is supposed to be Harry and Zayn and so on. It's not a stupid idea because after South Korea, the UK is probably the biggest exporter of music groups beloved internationally, but I doubt whether kpop stans will take to this well. At least they are promoting this on the BBC, directly to the UK, which is presumably their target audience.

They keep calling this whole thing an 'experiment' which it obviously is, but the higher ups at SM seems to be very on edge about the whole thing - after the groups first performance to Heejun (the director basically) she called a fucking emergency meeting with the SM team and the british producers - there generally seems to be a lack of confidence in the success of the group.

In the beginning of the episode they briefly mention (but for the most part gloss over) the audition process for this show, claiming they chose the five boys for their talents in singing and dance. Throughout the episode though it becomes apparently clear though that they (in the nicest way possible) don't really hold a candle to the debuted idols from SM. The whole show is based on this 'make a british kpop group in 100 days' gimmick, but the truth of the matter is you need a lot more than 100 days to become idol level good at dancing and singing - most idols train for 2 years minimum, some upwards of 6. I have no idea why they didn't choose boys with more preexisting skill in the audition process, or just give them longer to train - perhaps there could've been a bootcamp for a month before the going to korea bit to build basic skills - none of the 5 seem to be overly familiar with the kpop industry and it seems that pretty much all of their context as to what is expected of an idol is drawn from the SMTOWN concert they attended before their training began. They came off as quite unprepared, and Heejun's harsh comments to them in their evaluation clearly came as bit of a surprise to them. It is only episode one though, so i think if anything, now they know the level they are supposed to be at.

All of them apparently have a background in theatre or dance in some capacity (one of them is a tiktoker... ok) but only Dexter and maybe Reese struck me as having much aptitude for kpop dancing, but again it is only episode one so I'll cut them a little bit of slack. They struggled a lot with coordination and accuracy, but from my perspective as a dancer myself and kpop stan, the dance they learned to their song 'Feel the Vibe' (we will get to that don't worry lol) was not what I would call hugely difficult?? the members other than Dexter lacked a lot of fluidity but none of them were awful and I think with a lot more training they could be quite good. Olly seemed to struggle a lot with the dance, and there was some chatter from the producers that members could be cut, and if I had to guess anyone right now to be dropped (momentarily, I'm assuming anyone they kick is going to pull a Momo and be brought back) it would be him.

The song 'feel the vibe' is like.. what you would get if you asked an AI to spit out a 'boy group song' - it has a little bit of RIIZE energy so I wouldn't be surprised if this was an abandoned demo of theirs, but it also feels a little kidz bop? lmao? It's fine basically, not very exciting but not totally unlistenable. My main concern is that its quite a high song especially in the chorus, and the boys seem to struggle to hit the notes. Giving them a song that is out of almost all of their ranges is kind of setting them up to fail especially when they had a week only to learn it. Their poor vocal performance also explains why Heejun was so unconfident in this groups success - SM is is the kpop company known for its vocalists, being able to sing like Ningning or Taeyeon may not be necessary to succeed and debut in other big companies, but in SM vocals are crucial. Again they did only have a week, so at the very least potential is there.

They did a lot of b-roll content of them seeing the sights of Seoul, they did a gangnam style bit (god help me) met with Shindong (...), met RIIZE and TEN of WayV etc etc which was cool i guess - i hope this is a mainstay in the series and not just an introductory element.

Overall the show is not boring by any means, if a little cringey at times, my only concern is that the group that will emerge on the other side will not be up to par? I guess we will see.

[davekat-sucks]

So I was listening to Doctor on loop yesterday, as my autism oft commands me to do, and I think I had something of an epiphany in regards to what I like and don't about this stupid-ass webcomic which consumes my brain every once in a while.

I think the reason I like the first 5 Acts and am decidedly mixed on the last 2 (bar the very beginning of Act 6 where the Alpha Kids get introduced and their relationships are set up) is that, IMO, as it went on things stopped being about Sburb and the game itself??? If that makes any sense.

And even then, I kinda prefer Acts 1-4 to Act 5, as Act 5 began the cast bloat that became real bad midway into Act 6 with the A1 Trolls. Also Murderstuck, but that's a whole other writing hang-up I have involving character deaths, which HS both does and doesn't fall victim too.

Also, I think I know why I like most of the Pesterquest Sprites bar Terezi, Jane, and Roxy's. And just to preface, no, it's not that the former two are on the heavier side. Please, I am too IRL, but that's not the reason.

Okay fine, it's *kind of* the reason in Jane's case, but I digress.

In Jane's case, and this is also kinda the case for Roxy, I kinda feel as if she doesn't... mesh as well with the other Kids, if that makes sense. Like the actual way she's drawn and the shading and all. Also making her chubby when one of her main interests is baking smacks vaguely of stereotyping, and I'm not particularly a fan of it.

For Roxy, my main issue is that I feel the amount of detail, again, doesn't make her mesh with the others. Like, I feel she looks... oh god, I am going to get hate for this, aren't I?... Too definitively black??? Is that even a thing? Like the other kids are ambiguous, keeping with Hussie's BS about that being the case and not all the kids being white like is all but explicit in the comic itself. And Roxy isn't.

Terezi being heavyset I don't like because of her overly acrobatic fighting style. Yeah that's about it. I wouldn't mind it otherwise, but here we are.

I do like Vriska's sprites though. I think the way they're styled fit her personality and how she is. Her writing on the other hand...

(In particular the "You see a girl who did nothing wrong" bit. which. I'm sorry, but No. You can't say that while Sollux, Terezi, Tavros, and Aradia (at the least!) still have their canon backstories)

Oh right this blogs gimmick.... Uh, fuckin...

Aromantic-Asexual Karkat is better than DaveKat.

There. Plus as an Aspec guy myself, I kinda think it would be funny if the guy all about relationships didn't feel that kind of attraction. Irony, I guess.

Aromantic-Asexual Karkat is better than DaveKat.

[sixsixships]

Rambling about the ZA gameplay trailer

I was on the fence before, now I'm more leaning towards this is gonna be bad unfortunately :/ (trailer spoilers under cut)

First off the starter choice is fucking wierd, why two johto starters, and a unova starter?

Don't get me wrong, Totodile's my fucking boy, I'm glad he's here. And, I REALLY think chikorita could benefit from a regional variant as its not that good (I got nothing nice to say about tepig. Sorry)

But Hisui already showcased pokemon from those regions, plus the Alola reigion to boot. It feels a bit lit they didn't have any ideas. So Why not remove one of the gen 2 mons and add another from gen 7 into the mix to balance it out? Or one of the gen 3 starters? Or gen 4? Or even gen 8? It's not like game freak isn't shy about revamping recent mon's, look and Hydrapple and Archaludon.

I already didn't like that were going to be stuck to luminose city, but I also already hate the fucking wild pokemon mechanics. The concept of 'wild zones' makes this game feel a whole lot more restrictive than it already did, and that sucks because the whole draw of arceus at least to me is that it DIDN'T feel restrictive. I really hope there's at least some free roam encounters.

I hate the scar/vio pokemon art design. Hated it in scarlet and violet hate it here too, the designs they went with in sw/sh and Arceus translate really well to 3D and I don't know why they changed it to these ugly fuck ups. But thats somthing I'm unfortunately going to have to get used to because I guess that's the new direction we're going. Great.

The battle system looks like its going to be pretty hit or miss, looks like alot of the player input is taken out and left up to RNG. It looks wonky and there's a few times in the trailer where the Pokémon doesn't actually respond the way it should already so thats a bad sign.

No CURRENT references to characters ancestry or other characters just simply being in the wrong space time. (This is one of the things I'm hopeful could change)

Some positives that I will say is that I do like the way Luminose city looks, though it looks too modern for what I wanted this game to be, and i DON'T like that they went with the stupid future gimmick, all the greenery makes it look almost post-apocalyptic and thats really cool.

Az is back with his Floette, super cool and no surprises there (though apparently I've been saying his name wrong for years, its A. Z. and not just azzzzzzz)

They show off exactly 6 native Kalosian Pokémon (Clauncher, Furfrou, Bunnelby, Pyroar, Az's Floette, And Zygarde 50%) so thats good 👍

Uh they steal the genshin hover thing. Thats back again.

No Volo but quite frankly I don't know if I want him here, revamped to that fugly scarvio style. shudders.

[gaykarstaagforever]

I've never liked James Bond movies, other than like two of the Pierce Brosnan ones, and only now because of nostalgia. They're boring when chases aren't happening and too long and his gadgets are unjustifiably impossible and the villains are idiots with stupid schemes, and no one ever just shoots the bastard, leaving him to constantly get out of situations by deus ex machina or blind luck. I don't know what people want from these movies, what makes the "good" ones good or the "bad" ones bad, or why anyone is invested in any of this.

That said, I just watched what is, to me now, the one genuinely good Bond movie: 1973's Live and Let Die.

Bond fights a technologically-advanced drug-dealing voodoo pimp / Caribbean island dictaror, whose evil plan involves giving away a billion dollars of heroin for free. And this plan also involves him somehow successfully killing like 4 secret agents, plus, oh yeah, voodoo and tarot magicks are probably actually real?

This feels like white people mistakenly deciding they know enough about Black people in 1973 to make a movie about their world, and it is exactly as problematic and insane as you'd expect. And I loved every minute of it.

Such gleeful stupidity, done with such a straight face, is a beauty to behold. There is also a 10 minute sequence that is just Smokey and the Bandit, complete with a fat racist idiot Southern sheriff and incompetant Louisiana state police, who get their cars completely destroyed in slapstick comedy wrecks where people crash off ramps into bogs but no one ever gets hurt.

...Except this came out 5 years before Smokey and the Bandit, and maybe the same weekend as the similar White Lightning, so I have no idea who was stealing what from whom. I guess 1973 was just the year to start making fun of Southern law enforcement with funny car accidents.

I'm not complaining. I love this crap. It's just such a specific thing for multiple creatives to seize on at exactly the same moment. I suppose art, like voodoo, is endlessly mysterious.

I got the impression this movie is a critical pariah and was a flop, but neither is true. It made tons of money, and while people in general didn't and don't like Roger Moore as Bond, it seems most people enjoyed the frenetic weirdness going on here.

This was Moore replacing Connery, who set the iconic 1960s Bond bar. Like, hostility to anything new and different was inevitable. I don't feel strongly about Connery's Bond either way, because a lot of those movies are impossibly slow and his charm doesn't redeem them. So I like Moore here. He seems like he's still figuring out how to do the character his way, but that is also inevitable. But he's drool and wry and unflappable, and any lack of charm is fine, considering the movie is far more about jumping from one ridiculous situation to another at a break-neck pace. Bond is really just along for the kooky ride, and Moore manages that.

I love the cars and the costumes. This is peak early 70s, so everything is big and bright primary colors, from the cars to the collars and neckties, to the platform shoes and afro wigs. All the suits have vests. VESTS! The villain dresses his henchmen in bright bluejeans with scarlet polo shirts tucked in. They look like Target associates went rogue. It's beautiful.

Any more analysis of the plot than I've already offered is pointless, because this is a Bond movie. So even at peak wannabe-Blaxploitation goofiness, he's still boldly walking into obvious traps, inappropriately trying to trick certainly-evil women into sleeping with him, and solving every problem with a gimmick watch and desperate flailing that somehow knocks people out.

I don't know why anyone bothers setting elaborate traps for him. Just send a guy to pick him up. He'll know exactly that you've done that and get in the car anyway. That happens twice in this movie! And the same guy is driving!

The watch in this one has an industrial-strength magnet in it, and also the face spins and acts like a tiny buzzsaw. And, fine. That's the right kind of stupid. But how the hell does all that work on tiny watch batteries? I can't forget about that, which is why Bond movies aren't for me. And it makes Bond look bad, because anyone with that watch could probably do exactly what he does. ...Except probably the thing where he uses the magnet to undo the zipper on a woman's dress. That's very specifically a Bond thing, the cheeky predator.

But he's not the only incompetent gadabout, here. Most of the story takes place in the US, and he's working with the CIA. And they are AT LEAST as bad at everything as he is. But they don't have magic watches, so I guess that's why they keep getting stabbed, and poisoned by voodoo snakes, and have to call him in, to do whatever the hell this is:

Jane Seymour is also here. She is a possibly biracial? tarot witch who has virgin powers, and is owned by the Black villain. She gets manhandled and molested all the time, especially by Bond, and his deflowering of her is a major plot point.

As I said before, there are some problematic things going on here.

But the whole affair is so earnestly cheesy and high-energy that it's hard to find fault. They were going for schlock, and they schlocked it. James gets cornered by a hundred people doing a deadly swamp voodoo ritual that involves human sacrifice and a magic robot, and after some of them charge him with machetes, he responds by blindly firing into the crowd and murdering a bunch of them. This culminates with him getting captured by the villain for like the third time, and the guy acts like all this was just part of his plan.

Then Bond wrestles with him a little near a shark tank, but kills him with a Looney Tunes device. 1960s Batman showed more restraint than this. The Austin Powers movies barely referenced this one, because it is already a parody of spy movies. It is a thing of messy, stupid brilliance.

If you don't like Bond movies, this is the Bond movie for you. Everyone can get a laugh out of this, even if they're only laughing at it.

(Also the theme is the best Bond theme ever, but everyone already knows that. It opens the movie with naked women dancing around flaming skulls. That alone probably makes it the best Bond movie.)

[thebananwithaplan]

It wasn't long after that the show just wrapped up the last round for the day. Seeing the audience attendance dwindle due to their fears meant they couldn't do as many recordings as they normally would in a day, which was not what Banana was used to (for the rest of the staff, it was both a relief and a concern.)

The good thing about being in the Hollywood industry and already feeling like eyes are constantly on him and his actions for long enough is knowing how to act the way the audience want him to. Can't show fear, can't show regret , can't show that the stress of recent thoughts and events was getting to him, either. Showbiz, amirite? Stupid Fake Noise making his audience be wary of gameshows with toon-heavy gimmicks, juice blenders, and the feeling of constantly being watched...

"Well. It's better than no-shows for no shows. I better go find Dandie and the boys to head back home, then-"

The sound of the gameshow stage's main doors abruptly opening took him out of his thoughts.

What's that big red blur heading his way? Apple-?

@scriptdeviant asked:

Pepperman BURSTS through the studio, in typical Pepperman fashion, skidding to a stop before the Dancing Banana. Is. Is he even aware of the happenings right now? Before there's even time to question him, the pepper gave a dramatic bow - With glittering teeth included. My GOD. He isn't aware, is he? Once opened, the letter of recommendation would read: "Don't change your expression or react strongly when you read this. Don't say anything about this message, and don't tell anyone where you're going. Any of the camera feeds I have set up are now his. I've thought this through, and you're the only one that can reach me without being spotted. See me as soon as possible. Attached are the coordinates. Oh! And offer the pepper a job painting something, I guess. -PH." ❝ I keep my portfolio on me at all times, if it helps. ❞ He continued to grin. Just as instructed, he hadn't peeked. Blissfully unaware of the letter's actual contents...

...Oh. Nope. Just another pompous pepper.

DB couldn't even get a word in before being given the envelope. A 'letter of recommendation'? He was surprised anybody was still willing to ask for work with the way things are at.

"Well, well, well. Let's see what we have, here." Eh, what the heck, he'll see what it had to say. Would be rude to send him off without at least giving it a quick read...

..............

.............. And boy, was he right on the mark with his earlier instinct on this one.

Remember when we said at the top of this post that the Dancing Banana was really good at acting? Well, here comes another example of that.

"...Hmm. We could use some much needed Artistic Integrity." Wasting no time to place that letter in his Hammerspace Inventory, DB gave Pepperman the good ol' 'CEO-Approved Handshake'.

"Tell you what - we are kinda closing up shop for the day, but I can assure ya that the next time I need a paint job done, you'll be the first I'll go to ask. I can also assure ya that any of your work done for Shovelware Studios property will be credited in full and paid accordingly. How's that sound?"

At least he finally has somewhere to work with.

The question now is WHEN to do so.

[syrupspinner]

i just beat the messenger

there's a joke about shooting the messenger in there somewhere

so this is one of those games with a very specific thought process. let's add a unique and enticing gimmick, but make it a surprise reveal! I always thought this was a bit silly. like, if you're a fan of horror, then you have no reason to play doki doki literature club, because it's just a normal dating sim. but if you do know it's a horror game, then you just had half the game ruined for you, because so much of the presentation and writing and atmosphere and... EVERYTHING is done with the intention that you're going in blind. it's a weird conundrum between trying to market the thing that makes your game stand out and trying to maintain a cool subversive reveal.

the messenger has that in two parts. the first reveal is the time travel gimmick. you start off in an 8bit ninja gaiden-like platformer, and eventually upgrade into a 16bit ninja gaiden-like platformer, complete with world swapping puzzles. yeah, I love world swapping puzzles! link between worlds was my shit back on 3ds

the second part is that the game has a minor genre shift, going from a straightforward platformer to... a nonlinear platformer. I know that all the advertising says a metroidvania, and you can call me a genre snob for this, but I'm not sure if it really counts. sure there's some overlap, like the hub area, but like... you unlock all your cool new movement abilities during the platforming bit, so once the "metroidvania" part starts you don't unlock any new abilities, which is kinda stupid to say out loud. that's like saying you're playing as a roguelike without random generation, I think we lost the plot here.

don't get me wrong, just because it's not a metroidvania doesn't mean it's not fun. act 1 (the platformer) is already a fantastic retro platformer, reasonable difficulty that's juuuuust tough enough to keep you engaged without making you feel like you're being asked for too much, great controls and a good kit that gels with the level design really well, it's good shit. I don't play a lot of retro platformers, so I dunno if saying it's one of the best I've played holds much weight, but damn

act 2 (the not-metroidvania) is also fun! like I said, slut for world swaps. I'm VERY lucky that I was saving up my currency (gems?) so I could get all the map upgrades at once, I would have a very unfun time fumbling for all the collectables without the sparkles. there's also the prerequisite of backtracking through earlier areas, but I think the hub teleporters being in unique spots and the time travel make it more fun that it would've been

WAIT. RED ALERT. so as a peak behind the curtain, I usually write these as I play. maybe not the most professional form, but it helps me collect my feeling in the moment so I don't forget shit. I played like an hour and a half of act two, getting those green coin things and even got a few music notes, the one from the colosusses which was just a world swap puzzle and the yellow one that was just a platforming challenge. also, the fact that I could traverse what I thought was the whole world with my normal moveset made me complacent. but uh. I just got the Lightfoot tabi and I can now walk on water. so never fucking mind I guess! this is a certified metroidvania

ironically, I think the game is at its best with the linear design. when the game opens up, there are a lot of points that feel... easy to lose. there isn't that feeling of exploring for cool new movement tech, feeling your character get objectively more skilled and having that reflected in the map. there are spots like that, like the seashell and the candle. but just as much is like, talking to someone and then being like "don't worry I'll do the thing" and then they do the thing and you get a macguffin, which is much less satisfying in my opinion. like, there's the big where you have to go to an out-of-the-way spot to talk to a monk, and she just opens a path for you in another location. it's fine to have a progression system that isn't based on movement, but the genre shift makes it feel less... impactful. it feels like the game is caught between being a tradplat and a metroidvania, and suffers from trying to fit into both molds at once

so all in all, it's not a perfect 10/10, but it's still a great game that is absolutely worth your time. personally, I'd love to check out a full retro platformer from this team without the mid-game shift, something in the vein of Primal Light

also, there's this whole wrap-around thing when act 2 begins, where Manfred takes you so far east you wrap around west. then it's revealed that you're part of a time cycle thing, but... is Manfred part of it too, or is it like a different dragon every time? and if there's been a bunch of messangers before me, how come my village is still standing? and if the implication is that Manfred flew us around the literal whole world, like... why? why not just... oh fuck it it's not that important

[madbox91]

Today, I caused chaos on Twitter and Mobox and friends didn't like it lol Part 3

I went all out with my new account.

This is where the "chaos" began. I went all out. I didn't think or care on wtf I was saying or did (as you can see in some of the tweets, there's a lot of misspellings because I was just speed running them). It was just slander. Some of the things I said were very ridiculous, most were just saying shit to mobox instead of Nikolai, and only like 2 or 3 tweets were logical and not just ridiculous shit. I was making fucking so much slander that it felt I was running through a field of flowers lol. Of course I'm joking around about that but god damn it, it felt so just entertaining to just constantly tweeting non stop. It was so ridiculous. First Nikolai blocked me instantly and later mobox followed. I have done it. I got what I wanted once again. I was so over joy and also just shocked to see a huge amount of tweets I have made. Seeing them be the first thing you see when you search up "mobox87" on Twitter is so funny to me. Also it's another common L on mobox because thanks to her new attention to me, she is making herself look more bad on Twitter than she already is. Like my tweets has never gotten into huge numbers of views before this happened. The only reason why I made that gimmick account is to fool and get more stupid people into not liking mobox87. I mean it's mobox's fault for me to get a chance at spreading pretty ridiculous misinformation about her to a somewhat shit ton of people to witness it. Remember I didn't got some much attention and attraction from people before this happened and so mobox was just helping me out with this goal in mind. I mean hundreds of people viewing my tweets doesn't seem like a lot but to me it's a big deal for me since I only get like 7 or 10 views out of my tweets so yeah, thanks mobox. I truly think people would believe the shit from my mobox gimmick because nowadays people are fucking stupid. I'm fully convinced that's the case and especially the case for the small and not that popular mobox and mobox related community. Making people have a reaction out of my bullshit has been one of my goals. Especially delusional people with insecurities who try to defend themselves from the shit I say. At the end of the day, bad publicity is good publicity for me if my goals can be reached from it. I want to be mobox's very own inconvenience as possible and also getting a reaction out of it. that is what has happened here

Man such a mobox-like response. Seeing this makes me smile. Like I did that. I'm now part of mobox's ops. She treating me like I'm some kind of villain in her poorly written comics about sexual abuse. Exaggerating everything to make things look more bad than they seem. Huh making people look more bad now huh? I wonder who else is doing the same thin- IT'S ME! Maybe I was right, I am the real mobox87 after all. Btw not the first time mobox has done something like this but I guess she doesn't like it when someone else is doing the same thing to her, especially if that someone is actually kinda speaking facts with their gimmick account that tends to joke and poke fun about her and her wrong doings and now getting attraction. "Oh It's very hard for me to start conversations blah blah blah I don't talk like this 🙁", OF COURSE YOU DON'T FUCKING TALK LIKE THIS 💀

This is why I'm fully convinced that people are fucking stupid here. Like honestly I don't fucking get how people would get fooled by this. Like it's so fucking obvious. Like why bothered making an awareness posts about me? Maybe it isn't about the people, maybe she really wants me to be taken down because I have bothered her or maybe hurt her feelings in some way? Have I caused harm to anyone like Nikolai or something? I have become such a bad inconvenience and problem to her that it's enough for her to make post about me and criminalize me to stop me? Am I really such a bad problem to her now? If that's the case then I have won. Of course she would've done this just for the sake of spreading awareness but still it doesn't make sense to me because I really wasn't getting many attraction to my posts that is worthy enough to get a awareness posts about me. Like literally no one saw them. Is it because to protect her image on the internet or something? Idk pretty uncertain but still see it as a win either way. I guess people really are stupid enough to believe that mobox said, "let me rub my smile and unmatched coolness on your face like a fucking load of cum". If so then who??? You?

[boy-above]

tagged by @vespertin-y to share three random facts abt myself sooo

1.) i have a big phobia of lakes or just dirty water in general, and submechanophobia, i can't stand looking at like cars submerged in water. i don't seem to have the same fear of the ocean, for example i would never swim in a lake and i'd probs have a panic attack if i fell in one, but i went to the beach for the first time in my life a couple years ago and i got in the ocean just fine. i didn't go very far out bc i was afraid i'd get pulled in, im very small you see and i can't really swim, but i enjoyed it and my friend got seaweed for me to touch ajdjf. despite not being afraid of seawater i do Not like boats and wouldn't get on one on the sea or in a lake. i'd probs feel Better about being on a boat in the sea but the feeling of being in a boat in general feels Wrong to me, like my primal monkey brain is like "humans shouldn't be able to float above water like this".

2.) i have very repetitive stress dreams every night of my life, i don't think i've ever had a Good dream before and im not joking. usually the mundane stuff like being back in high school and not knowing where my classes are or my locker combination etc (which is wild bc that's never something i actually needed to worry about in high school, like i never once forgot things like that). also losing my phone or having it stolen seems to be a theme lately as well. HOWEVER when a dream isn't mundane, i manage to have REALLY weird dreams. the first nightmare i ever remember having was when i was like three years old and i dreamed a tree was chasing me. like a legit tree. i never saw it walk, it would just move when i wasn't looking and would be closer when i looked back. i ran home and still have the vivid memory of slamming my front door and looking behind me to the window where the tree was "looking" inside at me. it didn't have eyes or anything im just assuming it must have been looking at me lmao. anyway i was Terrified of this tree but hindsight that's literally so funny. a tree. also had a dream where my trash bag climbed into bed with me. and one where it was "emu hunting season" in my neighborhood and everyone was hunting emus. i probs don't have to clarify that there aren't emus anywhere near my midwestern city.

2.5.) interesting combination of the first two facts, which is why this is a bonus fact™️. i realized a recurring aspect of my dreams is something highly specific to me and not normal. i didn't realize this from conversations with people or anything i just suddenly was like "oh that's actually very weird and specific to my particular phobias". the aspect in question being that in multiple dreams over several years there's been partially submerged roller coasters in my dreams. like the roller coaster is like 1/4 submerged in a dirty lake and i either just see it and am like "eugh" or i'm actually forced to ride it and have to deal with the horror of both the anticipation of the dirty water part plus the actual contact with the dirty water. i'm not afraid of roller coasters or anything i guess my brain just found a way to tap into my submechanophobia. very weird brain thing that sounds very stupid and it is ajdjr

3.) on a lighter note, i have five genshin impact accounts, although i don't use two of them anymore. i have my main account, an anemo only account, and a new gimmick account that is a secret. my other accounts were just a replay account to experience exploration again, and one that i was gonna call carrot run where i only used xingqiu. i might still end up playing on that one again eventually given that i have xingxiu and sac sword on that account already in very early game with was lucky 4 me.

this was longer than i thought it would be i just decided i like talking about myself apparently LMAO

i don't rly have anyone to tag bc i'm afraid of bothering ppl so AJDHDHFH will leave off the post here

[otakween]

Digimon 02: D1 Tamers - Final Thoughts

Woohoo! I beat the Ryo trilogy :D -pops a party popper-

I didn't feel the need to make this multiple posts because this game is verrry similar to the last one (Tag Tamers). The main difference is that it's in glorious color! They also added a couple new features for better or for worse.

This game was fun and addicting just like the other two. There was just a little more grinding than I would hope for. The entire game took me 3 weeks to get through because of that. (Still not too shabby). Full thoughts below the cut.

Notes:

-The plot of this one felt kind of weird and forced. Firstly, I immediately got kind of confused about the chronology because the last game ended with Ken becoming the Digimon Emperor yet he's back to normal in this one. I guess either he hasn't progressed too much yet (it's only been a few days) or this is his IRL façade since we don't see him in the digi world. Anyways, the main plot is that Ryo has to fight in a tournament and if he wins said tournament then he'll become a soldier for the ~Harmonious Ones~ against Moon Millennium. I'm honestly not sure why the digi-Gods were included in this. They added nothing.

-Speaking of the Harmonious Ones, they ask you to pick one at the beginning of the game. I picked Qinglongmon because he was the only one I recognized lol. I'm not sure what the point of this choice was other than the fact that he shows up and says a couple things towards the end.

-Ken gets reduced to a guy-in-the-chair, but a very useful guy in the chair! I found the d-terminal way more handy this time around when it came to figuring out digivolution. Ken tells you exactly how many JP (Jogress points) you need to reach the next level. Honestly, it was a relief not having to tag team in this one too, that was kind of an annoying gimmick.

-Although jogress was still annoying in this game, they thankfully added an item that allows you to add +5 JPs to your digimon which made it so much easier to get some megas on my team. Also, digivolution and skills just felt more intuitive and happened faster this time around which is appreciated.

-I think they realized how OP stun was and nerfed it a bit. It's still a good feeling to win by stunning all the enemy digimon, but stun misses like 60% of the time, so you just waste your turn a lot of the time.

-Playing this right after Tag Tamers was pretty magical because I went from black and white to color (a Wizard of Oz moment). Although the inside of the dungeons were still very repetitive, the outsides were beautiful! (Showcasing some of my faves above).

-One stupid addition that made me mad was the D1 Tournament. This is a Digimon World-style AI vs. AI tournament where you just stare at the screen and hope your digimon win. It was just a slog to get through and I just wanted to get back to the dungeons. I really can't see the appeal in that sort of "gameplay." In fact, I fast forwarded or got up for a snack whenever it got to that part.

-Another lame part about this game is that you can't buy multiple items at once anymore! You could do it in Tag Tamers so why did they go backwards!? You seriously have to buy one item at a time. How dumb.

-I'm pretty proud of my final team: Metal Greymon, King Etemon, and AeroVeedramon. Metal Greymon had poison and curse, King Etemon had stun and AeroVeedramon had the best all-enemies attack. I could of gotten AeroVeedramon to mega as well, but I realized I didn't need to to win and it would have taken another few hours.

-There was a bit more variety in the dungeons compared to Tag Tamers. They all looked the same, but a lot of them had a gimmick. Some of them had puzzles or various ways you were supposed to interact with the bosses to progress. I'm glad they mixed things up a bit since the last game was really straightforward.

-Pretty hilarious that this game ends all ominously by being like "~And then we never saw Ryo again~" but then you hit the new game plus and Gennai's like "Ah, if it isn't Ryo!" Like, clearly the new game plus bit isn't part of the canon storyline, but it still made me chuckle.

-Apparently the only thing to do in new game plus is just continue raising digimon which...no thanks.

-I've heard that this acts as a prequel to Digimon Tamers which is so exciting! I'm glad that I'm doing things in the proper order. One more game (kinda-sorta?) and then I finally get to move on from Adventure 01/02 ;w;

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 108 Transcript: Hello, It’s Allergies. Hello, It’s Rhinitis. And this is Stuffy Asian Beauties.

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello, it's Grey.

C: Hello, it's Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen the show many times...

C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian! For today's episode, we are discussing Season 6, Episode 4: "Weekend at Bobby’s," written by Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin, directed by Jensen Ackles.

C: Ugh. I couldn't really tell that there was anything special, director-ing-wise, so.

G: Which is probably a good thing, yeah.

C: Yeah. It means he wasn't noticeably bad at it.

G: Yeah. And this is like a gimmick episode. Like, there's a gimmick. I suppose every episode supposedly has a gimmick, though. [C: Yeah.] Yeah, but this one, it's a gimmick episode. Okay, let's start with, did you like it?

C: Yes, but I don't think the writers like women.

G: Well, that's obvious fro everything that Supernatural has done.

C: Yeah. And every time they brought out the damn cobbler, I started booing and throwing tomatoes at my screen. I think that was stupid.

G: Didn't they just do it one time?

C: No, there's several times where Bobby brings it out, and he is like about to take a bite or whatever, and then somebody calls, and he's like, "Oh my god! I never will have rest in order to like indulge in the domestic life provided to me by women, which could comfort me. This is so sad!" [G laughs]

G: Yeah. And I think me asking, "Does it ever come up?" is proof that I did knit while watching this episode. So sorry.

C: Yeah. Hmm.

G: No, not "hmm." [both laughing]

C: What's the right sound? "Yayy!"

G: You're supposed to say, "So true!" Like that.

C: Okay. So true!

G: I do like this episode, I would say. Like, if I was a person who liked Bobby- [C laughs] It is incredibly hilarious to me that Dean was like, "Wow! Some things are more important than Sam, aren't they?" And it's like, dude, you're talking to Bobby. [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] Everything's more important than Sam, it seems like.

C: For real.

G: What did you know about this episode before going in?

C: I knew that people liked it, and that's about it.

G: Or did they? They did, yeah. I mean, this is a beloved episode, and allegedly, Bobby is a beloved character, so that's not really a surprise. [C: Yeah.] Yeah. Do you think watching this, you understand better the people who are like, "My favorite Supernatural character is Bobby"?

C: Um, no. I mean, he's fun this episode, I suppose, but he's just sort of a POV character. [G: Yeah.] I feel like I don't know him or like him better in the episode. I think it's just like, "Oh, it's interesting to have an episode to think about all the effort that goes behind these sort of phone calls that come up sort of deus ex machina during a case episode for the Winchesters." That was what this episode added for me.

G: I think the Bobby aspects of characterization that we're supposed to learn is that he doesn't know what to ask for help, and he neeeeeds to! or something.

C: Yeah. I guess so. Who cares? [G: Yeah.] Bufus are in love, though.

G: I do think it's incredibly fun- Okay, let's start with the "Then" sequence. I do think it's incredibly fun that we start in like a "triumphs of Bobby's bisexual history." [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] Good for him. Like, we meet Crowley, we meet Rufus, and we see Kim Rhodes. [C: Jody.] What is her character's name? [C: Jody.] Jody, yeah. We see Jody. And it's like, is Bobby involved with these people in different manners that are similar? Yes, is the answer. [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] I am so happy to see Rufus again. [C: Oh, absolutely!] He is incredibly fun, as always. And we get Jewish Rufus confirmation this episode, [C: Yeah.] which is also fun. I do think because Bobby's character type is grumpy old man, they play into that quite a bit, and I think it's the first time I realized that they do actually- like, that is Bobby's archetype. For some reason, I never really realized that before, that they're doing an archetype with him. And they are. He's the grumpy old man! [C: Yeah.] And he is so grumpy and so old, and he has never been so cold [C laughs] or something.

C: He's not that old, but yeah.

G: He's like 61 at this age.

C: Is that so old?

G: No, that's like normal.

C: Well, I guess Penelope Scott wasn't that old when she sang that song. She was younger than 61.

G: Yeah, allegedly. It's about feeling old. Do you think Bobby feels old?

C: Yeah.

G: I think he feels tired. I think he's going to say "estoy cansado" next episode.

-

C: Alright, we start the episode, and we're in Bobby's house, and he's working on some kind of summoning ritual. When it succeeds, Crowley shows up in his house, and Crowley's, you know, being a flippant, silly guy or whatever, and Bobby's quite antagonistic.

G: And this was like, a year ago, so this was like, pretty much immediately after the Apocalypse shit went down.

C: Yes. They have an exchange where Bobby offers Crowley a drink, and Crowley's like, "Ewww!"

G: "I only drink alcohol that is Scottish" or whatever.

C: Yeah, something called Craig that has reached at least 30 years.

G: Okay, I have a question. Do you think they use the Scottish accent to make fun of that guy later? [laughs] I think they do!

C: I don't think so. Really?

G: I think I think they make the whole Scottish thing a way to make fun of Crowley, or something that Crowley should be embarrassed of, or something. [C: Really?] They asked him if he wears a skirt, and he's like, "It's a kilt." [C: No, that's true.] Bobby's like, "What's his name? That's not true. That's Scottish." And Bobby-

C: Well, that's just because he has a British accent.

G: I know, but they make it a reveal and everything [laughs] [C: Yeah.] that Crowley is Scottish, and it's like a whole thing. It really is a whole thing, seems like.

C: Yeah, I guess so.

G: And I do think an aspect of it is like, because it's funny or it's supposed to be. [C: Huh.] Like, it's supposed to be funny that he's pretending to be British, and he's actually Scottish.

C: Yeah, I think it's funny that he's pretending to be British and he's actually Scottish.

G: "It is funny." [laughs]

C: But like, I don't think that the fact that he is Scottish alone would be played for laughs. It's the fact that he's ashamed of it.

G: He's hiding it. [C: Or hiding it.] No, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. But like, I don't know. Don't you think the fact that he is hiding it is something that is like, whatever? Are they trying to say something? What are they trying to say?

C: I mean, within the UK, there is accent discrimination [G: Oh, yeah. Of course.] So, just, I don't know. He's just trying to seem what other people would perceive as more fancy and sophisticated. But yeah, I think they they just put it in with his whole like, "He's a fake!" stuff along with his selling his soul for an extra three inches on his dick.

G: Yeah, I do think it's a fascinating choice to have him be a tailor in his life, which is something they mention later, [C: Yeah.] and then one of the things that he was like, upset about because he was like-

C: "They ate my tailor."

G: Yeah, they ate his tailor, and that's like a sign of him not living the fancy life that he wants because he's being, you know, Apocalypsed. [C: Yeah.] And like, yeah, I do think I get what you're trying to say, and I think that's true.

C: I guess it's the- [laughs] were you asking if it's bad that they're doing it?

G: No no no, I'm asking, what is the intentionality behind it?

C: Yeah. I do think people in general take Scots less seriously than Brits, though. [G: Yeah.] So that's part of it.

G: My baby sister did say when we were listening to the David Tennant How to Train Your Dragon audiobook that she can't understand his accent, and "Can we just watch the movie instead?" [both laugh] So yeah, it very well may be.

C: Yeah. Well, your little sister is the arbiter of the greater social opinion.

Bobby tells Crowley, "We put Lucifer in the cage, so you promised that you would give me my soul back." Crowley does this thing where he snaps, and all the writing on the contract appears on Bobby's arms.

G: Yeah. Pretty fun! Later on in the show, they would just have a scroll.

C: But he says, "You didn't read the little paragraph that I added in the contract particularly closely. That part of it is on your crotch, that might be why. But anyway, it says that I only have to make the best efforts to give you back your soul, so, um, you know, I tried. But I can't!" So Bobby's stuck with the usual demon deal thing of he lives for ten years and then he goes to Hell. Bobby's like, "I hate you and want you to die. And also, you're standing inside a devil's trap painted with invisible ink or whatever the fuck. So I'm gonna keep you here until you give me my soul back." But Crowley is just like, "Whatever." and summons a hellhound to threaten Bobby with. So that's our cold open.

-

G: So we go to modern day, and the situation is that Sam and Dean are looking at a case, and they realize that they don't know what the fuck is going on, and so they ring up Bobby. At this point, Bobby's outside, and the phone rings a lot. And then when he comes in, Dean is being like a fucking horrible guy. He's like, "Ah, I can't believe you didn't answer me within two rings, Bobby! I can't believe it! Do you have better things to do? Did you have a fall and you can't get up?" which is very rude of Dean. And yeah, he delivers the news of they can't figure this thing out. "Can you figure it out for us?" Bobby goes, "Okay, whatever." And so Bobby starts his investigation. His research, even. And he like, starts reading books from his house. And this is all set in a soundtrack. A song I don't recognize. He's like, "Oh, damn it! I can't find anything!" He goes out. He goes to the Sioux Falls University Library. Very fun.

C: He passes his neighbor-

G: Yeah. On his way there, he's driving. There's this lady who he smiles at, and the lady smiles back and waves. And yeah, I do think there is like, a fun aspect of this where he seems familiar with like, the people and the place, and, you know. That is fun to think about with the respect of Sam and Dean, especially Dean this season, thinking of hunting as something that has no roots, and that that is fundamental to the hunter experience. And then you see Bobby, and he has roots!

C: He says that he's done a lot for the town. I guess in "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid," we learn that he has a reputation as the town drunk, but that's still a role in the community, I guess. [both laugh]

G: No, I mean, he does save people and stuff, but I mean, the only reason why those bad things happen to this town is because he's in it, so like, really, [C: True.] what is he doing for this town? A lot, allegedly.

C: I'm sure he's hunted other things before that weren't after him specifically.

G: Stuff is happening. His car won't start, you know, and a door is locked. He breaks in to get inside, and he does say "Balls!" throughout this montage. Before this, was it ever like, a Bobby tagline? I don't think it was.

C: He'd said it before, and nobody else had said it, so.

G: Yeah. But like, was it a thing already? Perhaps it was. I just didn't care about Bobby. It's a very distinct possibility.

C: It's possible, indeed.

G: There's like, you know, more of the montage, and then he figures it out. He calls Dean. Bobby is about to deliver his lore speech, and he says, "You're hunting a lamia," which is a Greek monster that they've only seen in Greece, and it's weird that it's not there, it's outside. Anyway, Dean asked, like, "How are we gonna kill it?" And Bobby just goes, "Well, the easiest way is silver knife blessed-" blah blah blah, and then Dean just goes, "Okay, whatever!" and then hangs up immediately. And Bobby doesn't get-

C: He told Bobby, "I only love you like a coworker."

G: Literally. Bobby's kind of upset because Dean didn't let him finish his lore montage.

C: And it's 5AM for him.

G: Yeah. What time was it for Dean? Where are they? They're in Wisconsin.

C: Well, I think it's about the same time for Dean, but-

G: Well, it's also 5AM.

C: - they make a big point of the clock changing [G: Oh, yeah, showing the clock, yeah.] while he's doing research to show how he never gets any rest because he's working for Sam and Dean and all these other people.

G: Yeah, he's working for the knife that is Sam and Dean. He goes, "You're welcome," reinstating to us that Dean didn't even say, "Thank you"!

C: Wow. So at this, there's a call from the basement where some woman yells, "Hey, I'm still here!" And Bobby goes downstairs, and he has a crossroads demon tied up in his panic room. And he's been questioning her, trying to get her to tell him Crowley's real name, his human name, so that he can threaten him into giving him his soul back. And this demon is a hot woman in a little black dress, like every crossroads demon we've seen, and she's doing the whole thing where she's crossing and uncrossing her legs and all that stuff because nobody knows [G: Yeah.] how to write evil women on Supernatural.

G: And she's being sexual, and she's saying sexual innuendo. And you know what? A part of me was like, "Wow! I thought the demons were just into Sam and Dean because they thought Sam and Dean were hot, and the show is trying to tell us that Sam and Dean are soo hot [C: That's true.], but no! They also do it to Bobby, who is just fine!" [laughs]

C: Well, they also have Bobby have a love interest this episode, so maybe [G: Ugh. So true.] their point isn't that all demons are sexual, but that Bobby is so hot!

G: Yeah. Is Bobby hot? A question we will never answer. [laughs]

C: Yeah, I mean, I can answer it. [G: Okay, answer it.] No. I don't know. I'm sure Bobby has appeal to some people.

G: You know, people say that the older you get, older people are more attractive to you. [C: Yeah.] And that lady later is, I think, younger than him.

C: I don't know. We'll be able to look up the actress later.

G: Are we?

C: We will. [laughs]

G: Yeah. Or will we? [laughs]

C: What do you think is gonna happen that we won't be able to? We might forget.

G: Yes, I think the main thing would be forgetting. [C: Yeah.] I think the second main thing is [C: Uh-huh?] life in the world as we know it collapsing entirely and IMDb being inaccessible.

C: Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna look up "Marcy Supernatural." She's gonna have a Wiki page where she has the actress's name.

G: [laughs] Okay.

C: The actress is Jennifer Aspen. [G: Hell yeah.] I'm going to find the birth year of Jennifer Aspen. [typing] She was born in 1970, so she is younger than whatever this guy's name is. Jim?

G: Beaver.

C: What's his name?

G: Beaver. [C: Yeah.] That is a fun surname.

C: He was born in 1950, so she is 20 years younger than him.

G: If you're 40 years old, would you want to date a 60-year-old? Question of all time.

C: I'm not 40 years old, so I wouldn't know.

G: Yeah. But at 20 years old, you do want to date a 30 years-old. So it's possible.

C: I don't wanna date a 30-year-old.

G: Yeah, that is true. Well, I want to date a 50-year-old, but let's not talk about it. [both laugh]

C: She'll notice you one day.

-

C: She starts trying to provoke him by bringing up how he killed his wife again and again, and Bobby's just like, "No, I just want to torture you by taking something that's yours"--they don't tell you what it is until the end of the episode--"and lighting it on fire." And she tells him that it's a myth, but he lights the things on fire, and little patches of fire show up on her skin, and she's screaming in pain, etc, etc. And she tells Bobby that Crowley is the king, not of the crossroads, but of all of Hell.

G: Hell, baby! Good for him. Very fun.

C: Then the bell rings, and he goes up, he looks through the peephole of the door, and his neighbor is there, and she-

G: And she's fixing her hair.

C: - and she's arranging her hair to look nicer, [G: Yeah.] and Bobby checks that his breath doesn't smell bad and straightens his clothes a little before he opens the door.

G: Which is fun, yeah.

C: Yeah, I think it's a nice, cute way to show that two people are mutually interested in each other.

G: Yeah. Is this the equivalent of having a crush on your coworker? [C: How so?] No, this is the equivalent of having a crush on your neighbor, which allegedly happens.

C: Yes, which is what's happening.

G: Yeah. She brought a peach cobbler. What is the thing that Karen was into making? It was pie, right?

C: Yeah, it was pie. [G: Yeah.] And Marcy says it isn't just a peach cobbler. It's a ginger peach cobbler.

G: Which sounds wonderful!

C: It does sound fun and good.

G: Yeah, anyway, she brings it over, and, you know, she's like, "Oh, it's really good. It's my specialty!" And she tells Bobby to like, smell it, and then he does, and he's so awkward. But he does give a smile, and he's like, "Mm, very fun." There is screaming in the back [laughs], and he goes, "Oh, yeah, I'm so sorry. I love horror. It's a guilty pleasure of mine." And she's like, "Love it! Love horror! Have you seen Drag Me to Hell?" [both laugh] and he's like, "Well, I'm trying to avoid it," which is also funny. Anyway, she goes, "Well, you know, over the weekend, you can come over to my place. We'll have dinner, and we can watch a movie, and I can whip up my batch of famous white chocolate popcorn!" She's really trying.

C: Yeah, "I'm gonna cook so much 'cause I'm a woman!"

G: Ugh, this is true. But like, how do you invite people to your house? "Have a drink." Don't have drinks. Don't like drinking. "Have some coffee." Hate coffee, more than alcohol! [C: Yeah.] "Have some tea," I guess.

C: Sure, yeah, or it could just be a chips and salsa situation.

G: I don't like salsa. I also don't like chips.

C: You're not Bobby Singer! [both laughing] Why are you talking about this like this?

G: No, this is true. She should have just invited Bobby for some nice whiskey or something.

C: Yeah, I mean, I'm fine with- well, I'm not blaming her as a character. I'm blaming the writers.

G: No, no, yeah. No, but like, this is like that situation where it's like, "Oh, Jimmy was having a crisis, but he's not gay. So how do straight people have crisises?" You know?

C: Ah, yeah. How do women invite people over without cooking? [laughs]

G: No, how do people in general? Like, how do you do it? [C: Yeah.] "Let's watch a movie," I guess, is something.

C: Yeah, I think that's enough. You can just have it during not meal hours, like 2PM, so they have lunch beforehand by themselves.

G: Yeah, this is true. Or you can go out somewhere else that isn't the house. Allegedly people do this.

C: Yeah, I don't think there's that many restaurants in Sioux Falls.

G: Yeah. But he's done so much for the community! Maybe even established a barbecue joint. [C laughs]

C: So true. That's one of his other jobs. We just didn't see it because it wasn't important to his journey?

G: Yeah, it's like, you know, it's like automatic to him. [C: Yeah.] It doesn't even register anymore that he's absolutely killing it at the grill. [C: Yeah.] That is a thing that he does. He grills stuff, right? [C: Yes.] So true. Go Bobby. Anyway, Bobby kind of hesitates, and Marcy's like, "Okay, yeah, well, that's fine. But I also have a woodchipper that's broken, and if you would like, you can come over and look at it, because people say that you're like, handy and stuff," [C laughs] which is very fun. Yeah, and Bobby's like, "Okay, let me see!" Before she leaves, she extends a hand for Bobby to shake, and they're a bit awkward about it.

C: Yeah, 'cause he's holding the cobbler with both hands. [G: Yeah.] So he has to maneuver it.

G: Yeah. As she goes, Bobby closes the door in this like stance, like, thinking about it a little bit. And then he's like, "Okay!" He puts down the cobbler, he heads downstairs, [laughs] he starts screaming, "What's his name?!!" to the demon while blasting it with a flamethrower. We are again faced with the question of all time. What is Supernatural's deal with torture?

C: I mean, didn't we already answer this question? [G: Yeah.] It's that they don't think monsters can be convinced or reasoned with, so the only language that they can understand is pain.

G: I mean, this is a rhetorical question. It's a rhetorical question.

C: Yeah, okay. [laughs]

G: But they really do have a deal with fucking torture is what I'm trying to bring up. [C: Yeah.] She finally reveals that Crowley's name is Fergus MacLeod. The name has been revealed, and the crossroads demon was like, "Okay, well, now, you gotta send me back. It's our deal." But Bobby just holds up the bag. Of what? We'll figure out later. And he's like, "You know what? I gave it my best effort, and I'm still going to burn you alive." And so he does by torching the thing in the thing.

C: Are we supposed to think he was cool for that, or is it like a, "Wow, he's really gone off the rails."

G: The thing is, I think we're supposed to think he's cool because it's not like they make any effort to show us that, like, Bobby's losing it or whatever the fuck. [C: Yeah.] And the thing is, I think we're also supposed to think Sam is cool later for going, "You know what, Dean? We had a deal." So like, what's the situation?

C: That they hate women, maybe?

G: Yeah, I mean, that is the situation. Very obviously this situation. [both laugh] It is fascinating that like, "Oh, we had a deal. But you know what? I'm not gonna respect it." is a sign of strength, but also, "We had a deal, and I will respect it" [C laughs] is also a sign of strength. [laughs] [C: Yeah.] So it's not about the respecting of the deal. It's about the existence of a deal itself, I think, is the thing. I think also-

C: That you're the one with power?

G: Yeah, it's the power of like- But like, you also have the power if you let the deal hold by itself, right? Or I think the point is that with Crowley, I honestly thought this is what Sam was gonna say later. With Crowley, Crowley can do things for them, [C: Yeah.] but this demon is dispensable, I think, is the situation. So it's like, why would I- With Crowley, if we let him go now then, it's like, he owes us. Versus this demon, yeah, she owes us. But like, who the fuck cares because we don't need her? I think, is the vibe. [C: Uh-huh.] Horrible!

C: Bobby is doing some research on Scotland in general.

G: Literally just Scotland. [laughs]

C: He picks up a call from Garth! [G: Yeah.] Who we haven't met yet.

G: Yeah, it's Garth reveal. Hi, Garth! Love Garth.

C: Yeah, and it's a fun little bit where he's like, "This doesn't sound like a vampire. You should call the FBI." And then [laughs] he immediately gets a call on his fake FBI phone and it's Garth. [G laughs]

G: And Bobby goes, "Not me, idjit, like the real FBI! I wonder how you're still alive by now!" [C: Yeah.] I do love that he was just researching Scotland. It's like when Sam looked up vampires. So real.

C: Yeah, so real. [laughs] It's where to start. Yeah, he's picking up a bunch of different phones where he's being an FBI guy, a CDC guy. [G: Yeah.] Female hunter mention where, at some point, while picking up a phone, he goes, "Of course she's one of ours, and if she says she's gotta dig that grave up, you better damn well let her."

G: Feminism. [C: Slay.] I do love this scene, and I think it's quite evocative. The visual of having all the phones there. I am a bit sad that Jensen Ackles, the director of this episode, did not linger on the visual of it because it's good. It's a good look. Maybe it did linger on it, and I just wasn't looking. That is also a possibility.

C: No, but you mean sort of a wide shot [G: Yes.] with the montage where he's moving around, hitting different phones at different times. That would be fun.

G: Yeah, like, have like a shot that is the phones that is not focusing on Bobby, but focusing on the phones, I would have enjoyed. And they do do that later in the show when it's Sam and Dean's turn to be those people, where it's like just a bunch of flip phones, and it's like, "Oh, yeah, FBI," which is very fun. And like, that is- I mean, this scene, like, it's fun, but the value of it for me is it showcases what Bobby's role is in the community. He really is a pillar in the hunting community, which is very fun, and also, the fact that they bring up this virtual again later on with Sam and Dean as they now become a pillar of the hunting community, now that Bobby is gone. [C: Yeah.] It is like, fascinating to think about the fact that Sam and Dean have this such loyalty to the hunter brand when they have like, actually quite little connections in the hunting life. Like, you know. I think it is telling that John brought them up in this lifestyle or culture and environment but also made them pretty much not intermingle with anyone who is also that lifestyle and environment. You know what I mean? [C: Uh-huh.] And I do think if they had more hunter friends, they would ease up a bit. [laughs] Like, maybe they'd calm down, you know?

C: Yeah, they would unclench.

G: Yeah, unclench a bit. And I think the times in the show where we have seen the concept of a bigger hunter commune is with Ellen and Jo's bar-

C: The Roadhouse, yeah.

G: The Roadhouse. I'm so sorry. I completely forgot the word for it! That's so sad!

C: Yeah. Do you hate women?

G: [sadly] No. [both laugh] I don't. But yeah, so we have the Roadhouse, we have this Bobby thing, and I suppose we'll see it later on in the show.

C: Someone starts pounding on the door, and it's Rufus! [G: Yeah!] Iconic scene, I think we've all seen it, where he's like, leaning on the doorframe, out of breath, and he goes, "Oh, good. You're home. Listen! You gotta help me bury a body."

G: And Bobby's just staring at him like, "What the fuck is up with this guy?" Yeah. This scene is wonderful. It is iconic. And yeah, love Rufus! It's the first time we're seeing him since the beginning of Season 5 if I'm correct, right? I am correct. [C: Yeah.] 5.02? [C: Stupid-ass episode.] I think, because in the past, we have established that Rufus and Bobby are kind of like a- they're mad at each other, but jokingly, but also not jokingly, which is a fun dynamic. [C: Yeah.] And you know, what we've seen of Rufus and Bobby- Okay, let's do a like, timeline of Rufus and Bobby from what we've seen in the show so far. We have, like, Bobby telling Dean, "Go to Rufus. He'll help you."

C: Yeah, Season 3.

G: Yeah. And Dean being like, "Hi, Bobby sent me" and Rufus being like, "Okay, well, then, fuck off," which is very fun. [C: Yeah.] We have "If you call again, I'll kill you." [laughs] [C: Aww.] and then Rufus calling again immediately. [C: Yeah.] We have, "And Rufus? Take care of yourself." Ah! Love it. [C: Yes.] And then we have this. And I do think, like, it is a consistent-

C: Was there anything else? I think throughout Season 4 or 5, Bobby was like talking to Rufus about apocalyptic signs a few times.

G: Yeah, but I don't think we actively would see it, right? A lot of the times, it's Bobby saying, "Yeah, Rufus said." But I think the phone calls I mentioned and you mentioned are the ones that we really see them talking. [C: Right.]  don't know. I think it is an interesting dynamic of like, antagonistic friends. So important. [C: Yeah.] And they are friends! Look at them!

-

C: In Bobby's scrapyard- and yeah, so Rufus brought some body over because police were chasing him, and they rib each other about like, "Oh, you're getting slow!" "Oh, I'm getting slow? All you do is sit on your ass all day taking calls." And we see the body, and she's Asian!

G: It's an Asian woman! She's literally Asian, and it's because she's a Japanese monster. It's literally the reason. [C: Yes.] And I mean, I do find it hilarious that they were like, "Oh, we need-" I mean, it's better than having a white woman play it, I guess. [laughs]

C: Yeah, which they've done a lot of times.

G: But also, like, again, we come up to the whole thing where it's like, you only have an Asian person to be an Asian monster or whatever. Or like, you know, having the-

C: Yeah, this monster is an okami, which I think is just "wolf" in Japanese and not like, a creature. So yeah, she has these sharp teeth or whatever. They're both surprised at this because the only time Bobby has ever seen an okami was in Japan, and that also tracks with Sam and Dean hunting something that's usually only in Greece in Wisconsin. So Bobby has a mechanical digger, which can dig a hole for the okami very easily. [G: Love it.] And we get Jewish Rufus confirmation where he's looking at it, and he goes, "Man, I know what I want for Hanukkah." Love it! They bury the body, and they're chatting about the whole Crowley situation. [G: Yeah.] And Bobby says that what he's gonna pursue is that Crowley said in the beginning that he liked Craig, and that he'd been drinking it since he was in grade school, which means that he probably grew up where Craig was made. And Rufus immediately is like, "Oh my god! I know everything about Craig. It's only made and sold in a tiny area on the north tip of Caithness County," and he starts going into like, you know, wine tasting people's descriptions [G: The notes, yeah.] of what alcohol tastes like. And he's like, "I'm not a heathen. I obviously know what Craig is, you dumbass!"

G: So true. [C: So true.] Rufus- when Bobby sent Dean to Rufus, he told him to get a Blue Label, right? [C: Yeah.] That already happened, right? That was in Season 3. [C: Yeah.] And also, when he dies, they pour a whole bottle- whole bottle?! Dude. [laughs] Give a half to yourself, is my opinion. Does Sam and Dean have like, hobbies similar to this? Well, I suppose Sam has serial killers.

C: Cars? One car.

G: Car. Serial killers. [C laughs] What else?

C: I mean, Dean's music is sort of a hobby, [G: Oh, yeah.] especially the fact that he knows trivia about Led Zep.

G: I think pop culture is Dean's hobby. He loves a TV show, movie, a song. [C: Yeah.] A book. He reads. [laughs] Aesop, etc.

C: Yeah, The Odyssey too.

G: What are Sam's interests? He loves serial killers. [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] He loves being vegan, but they never say it. He loves being secretive about the fact that he's vegan, but also very explicitly open about it, just never saying the word, that's a hobby.

C: Uh-huh. He loves doing it, so much. Sam doesn't have a lot of-

G: He loves lore.

C: Yeah, I guess that's a hobby.

G: Yeah. What else are Sam's hobbies?

C: Nothing.

G: He loves a Dewey decimal system, but that's just us projecting.

C: Yeah. Projecting? I don't love the Dewey decimal system.

G: Well, I do love to do a decimal system.

C: You're projecting on Sam and me.

G: Well, he would grow plants after Dean dies, but also again, that's just us, I think. [laughs] Is that true? Or do we see him grow plants when Dean is dead?

C: I don't rember. Well, I haven't seen it also.

G: You haven't seen. [laughs] I was viciously reminded of Jared Padalecki's wig at the finale of Supernatural recently. [C: Yeah.] What a horrible thing they do to Sam Winchester, even. [C laughs] Maybe he's into bag wigs. yeah.

C: Rufus tells Bobby, "You know I have contacts over there in Scotland. I can make a few calls." And Bobby says, "I ain't asking for no help." And Rufus says, "I ain't asking for your permission." They're in wuv!

-

G: Bobby is allegedly about to eat a piece of his cobbler, but then he is stopped by Dean calling him. And Dean's like, "Okay, well, what's the other way to kill a lamia?" And Bobby's like, "Well, did the first one not work?" And Dean's like, "Well, no. So what do we do?" And then Bobby says what they should do, but as he's saying it, there's a massive knock on the door, and Bobby's trying to hold him off, but eventually he had to let them in because it's the cops, including Jody. Well, it's Jody and some other guy. Bobby does this thing where he's like, "Oh, I'm talking to my mom," which is very fun. [C: Yeah.] "Just wait a minute. I'm guiding my mom through cooking." And then he goes back to the phone and he's like, "Okay, well find salt and rosemary, and really cook it well-done" or something. [C laughs] Yeah. And then he goes, "Is it okay now? Okay, well, have a have a fun roast, mom!" [laughs] Would Bobby's mom still be alive? I think so, yeah.

C: Yeah. Well, I don't know. He's 61.

G: In her 80s, probably.

C: She's be 90 or in her 80s, yeah.

G: I mean, allegedly. She's probably dead.

C: Yeah, she's probably dead. I thought it was sweet that he stayed on the phone until he knew for sure [G: Yeah, it was done.] that the lamia was dead.

G: Well, the last time Dean hung up on him, it didn't work, [C: True.] so by the process of elimination, it is Bobby that killed that thing.

C: Yeah. I can't believe that he said the easiest way was a silver knife blessed by a priest when like, you can just get salt and rosemary from the grocery store!

G: How do you get a priest who is maybe not aware of what that silver knife is supposed to do to bless your silver knife?

C: Just be like, "This was my dad's favorite knife, and he died recently" or some shit?

G: Do you think that's gonna work?

C: I don't know. You're the Catholic.

G: My first idea was that they would have- They have a car, so they'll be like, "Oh, our car is new. It's vintage. We just bought it. We want it blessed," which is something people do. People get car blessings. And so they have the car there, and then they put the knife in the car, and then the priest blesses the car, and it will in turn bless the knife.

C: Will it?

G: I don't know. The intentionality is, in fact- [C: Yeah.] But you know, when you bless a car, you open everything.

C: So he sees the one million guns they have.

G: No, I'm assuming they would put that compartment down. But if they put the knife somewhere that a bit of it is peeking out like of the seat or something, but it's still obstructed, and the priest does the holy water, it will touch the knife, and will therefore bless it. What do you think?

C: Sure, why not? [both laugh]

G: Honestly, I don't think it works like that. I think there needs to be an intentionality behind blessing this specific thing. But you know what? It could be possible.

C: Yeah, I guess it was the flamethrower aspect of it that was harder, but they just had one.

G: Yeah. Do you think they do mass blessing to weapons? At this point, just have every weapon blessed, right?

C: True. Does it ever wear off?

G: I don't know. I mean, does holy water wear off?

C: Yeah. It evaporates.

G: Not if you bottle it. Oh, this is true. But would the vapor be holy? [laughs]

C: Well, the vapor would be in the air and not on the weapon.

G: Would the particles itself- This is a separate conversation.

C: Oh, like, do demons walk through the world, and occasionally they go, "Ow!"

G: "Ow! Owie!" Yeah, because there's a concentration of holy vapor.

C: Yeah. Probably.

G: So fun! Love it. Anyway, that's all said and done. Bobby greets these cops and what they're saying is, they put up a sketch of Rufus, and they're like, "Okay, well, did you see this guy? His name is Rufus Turner, aka Luther Vandros, aka Ruben Studdard." And Bobby's like, "Nah, I've never seen that dick." [laughs]

C: Love is real!

G: The cop is like, "How do you know he's a dick, then?" and Bobby goes, "I don't know. I just think maybe he is." [C laughs] And the guy cop is like, "Well, people saw him carrying a body over here. So what's that about?" And Bobby's like, "Look, man, that's soo ridiculous!" And Jody steps in, and she's like, "You know what? Me and this guy, we have a relationship." And she says she's been arresting him for ten years now, so why don't we just separate, and you investigate outside, and I investigate inside. And the cop's like, "Okay, fine." And as soon as the cop goes out, Bobby goes, "Why did you let him go out there?" And Jody says, "Well, I think it would be better if he was out there than in here. I don't think you want him in here." And Bobby goes, "Well, yeah, because I have a body in the basement. But I also have a body in the yard!" [C laughs] Jody is like, "Oh, fuck! Damn it!" And so they go out and they pace about, and they see the guy, and the guy's like, "Bobby, there's a giant fucking hole [C laughs] in the yard. What's that about?" And Bobby's like-

C: But it's empty.

G: Yeah, it is empty. I actually couldn't figure out what they were trying to tell me until later. The hole is empty. I thought they just did a bad job of like, putting the dirt back in the hole.

C: But we saw it completely smooth over it earlier?

G: Is that true?

C: Yeah.

G: Okay, well, that's my fault. My bad, even.

G: Bobby's like, "Oh, yeah, I did a septic tank thing, so watch where you step!" He calls Rufus like, "Rufus, this thing is dead!" Or, well, "This thing is not dead!" [C laughs] Rufus is-they start going back and forth on if Rufus did the proper methods of killing so that this thing will actually be dead. And Bobby's like, "Did you use a bamboo dagger?" Rufus goes, "Yes." "Blessed by a Shinto priest?" And Rufus is like, "I'm not fucking stupid, Bobby!" And Bobby goes, "Did you stab it seven times?" And Rufus goes, "Well, I stabbed it five times." And Bobby's like, "It's supposed to be seven!" And Rufus is like, "No, it's supposed to be five." But anyway, this thing is alive because Rufus forgot two stabs. [C: Yeah.] [C laughs] Bobby asks, "When you found it, what was it doing?" And Rufus said it was feeding on, you know, single white females, usually while they sleep.

C: [laughing] Incredibly funny, incredibly funny. They're usually in Japan. How do they survive off of this diet?

G: No. What Bobby is saying is like, what were they doing when you found it? Not necessarily like, "This is their diet. What's their diet?"

C: Okay, yeah, this is a special one, and it had to come here all the way from Japan because it wanted to eat white women so bad.

G: No, the point is like, "What is the modus operandi of this specific thing?"

C: Yeah! [G: Yeah.] Which I think it's funny that they wrote it to be this.

G: I mean, it is hilarious that they wrote it this way specifically so Bobby can go to his girlfriend's house.

C: Yeah, like, I feel like she doesn't need to be specifically into single white females. Like, I think just the fact that this is your neighbor and it escaped from your property is enough. You could be like, "I saw some tracks" or whatever.

G: Yeah, like, Bobby could be like walking around, looking for a clue to where this went off, and he sees that like, there's a track going to the house or something. [C: Yeah.] Well, that's how it happens.

C: Have we ever had a monster who was only after, like- besides the racist truck [both laugh]- a specific racial or gender group?

G: Well, there's the gay gorgon who was going after gay men.

C: Well, we haven't had him yet.

G: Yeah, but he's iconic, so I thought I should mention him.

C: Alright. Thank you for mentioning him because he's iconic. I just feel like they really went out of their way to do this, and it's silly to me.

G: No, I mean, yeah, they did go out of their way to do this, and it is silly to you and me.

-

C: So we're now in Marcy's house, and she's preparing to go to sleep, but there's like a shadow crossing the window, and then Bobby fucking kicks in her door. He says that she needs to show him where her bedroom is, and he's swinging around a gun and checking everywhere, and she's like, "I'm trying to be chill about this, but what the fuck is going on?" And Bobby asks if she's seen anything weird, and then she notices the okami on the ceiling about to jump at her. And there's a whole fight thing where Bobby's wrestling with the okami a bunch and crashes out of a window into the outside, and they're still fighting, etc, etc. And then they're at the woodchipper, and he accidentally hits the power button, and it turns on, working completely fine, and during the fight, he is able to shove the okami into the woodchipper, and she gets destroyed.

G: Yeah, and Bobby gets sprayed with blood, but then we go to Marcy, and she's completely drenched. It is a fun look, and she's in a white nightgown.

C: She sure is. They're both a little bit in shock, and Bobby goes, "I thought your chipper was broken." And Marcy goes, "I just said that to get you over here." And Bobby says, "I guess I could come over for dinner some night. It might be fun." [laughs] And Marcy just goes, "I don't think so."

G: You know what who would have said yes? [C: Who?] The woman from "Dead Pig Collector," a very fun short story. You guys should check it out. [laughs]

C: From what?

G: No, I'm just promoting it. What? What do you mean?

C: Oh, who wrote it?

G: Warren Ellis, I think. Wait, let's see.

C: It's called "Dead Pig Collector"? [G: Yes.] Okay. Yeah, I see.

G: By Warren Ellis. Very fun!

C: Yeah, and Bobby says, "Story of my life," which did annoy me.

-

G: Bobby calls Rufus now, and Rufus is like, "Wow, I can't believe you're still alive." And Bobby's like, "Yeah, well, I killed it. So fuck you." And Rufus asks-

C: Yeah, he also calls the okami "Godzilla."

G: Is that supposed to be a thing?

C: Well, I guess it's a Japanese monster.

G: Do people think of Godzilla as a Japanese monster?

C: It's a kaiju, isn't it?

G: Yeah, but then like, that's just some guy at this point. Is Godzilla so tied to culture? [laughs]

C: Well, to Rufus, it is.

G: Yeah. Isn't there Godzilla vs. King Kong? Isn't that a thing? [C: Probably.] Yeah, what the fuck is that about? [laughs]

C: I think Godzilla probably fights King Kong.

G: No, but like, is it an underdog story? Like, King Kong is the underdog?

C: I don't know what King Kong is like.

G: King Kong's a giant gorilla.

C: What's Godzilla then? Oh, it's a lizard thing! Godzilla is sort of a dinosaur-looking thing?

G: Yeah, like a giant lizard that is a dinosaur. Yeah, love it. Do you love Godzilla? Yes or no. 5. 4. 3. 2-

C: I've never seen anything. I mean, I didn't even know who Godzilla was briefly.

G: I do think he's removed enough from the concept of being Japanese for this joke to be a thing. Although now that I think about it, why else would they make it?

C: Yeah. [both laugh]

G: And also, this was in 2010, so maybe the concept of Godzilla is less pronounced in pop culture. Anyway, Rufus asked, "Oh, so you just happened to have a bamboo dagger blessed by a Shinto priest?" And Bobby goes, "No, I shoved her through a woodchipper." And Rufus goes, "Oh, okey-dokey! Well, woodchipper, that trumps everything," which is pretty fun, and does remind me of when Rufus was like, "I'm gonna blow their legs off!" and Dean or something was like, "That's not gonna kill them," and he goes, "Well, they can't run if they don't have legs." Rufus thanks Bobby and apologizes. He says, "I screwed up."

C: Okay, Bobby says, "Forget it. I figure I still owe you more than you owe me," which is a reference to a thing we never learn in canon, which is that Bobby is partly responsible for Rufus's daughter's death. Right?

G: Is that true?

C: Yeah, there's a bonus content thing where-

G: I mean, I know that. But like, is that really what this statement means?

C: I think so. I think it's about their past. It felt loaded.

G: Yeah, Rufus does do a "Hm." about it, so maybe.

C: Yeah. It's so sad that that never makes its way into the show in actuality. And they kill him. So it's not like they were like, "We'll reveal this later down the line in the Bobby/Rufus story" and then they forgot. Rufus takes a moment to process those words, and then he goes, "Okay. Well, you owe me another thing because I have a lead on Crowley. His full name is Fergus Roderick MacLeod. He was born in Canisbay, Scotland in 1661, and he had a son named Gavin."

G: After Caravaggio and Shakespeare. So true.

C: So true. The son was the captain of a trading ship that sank in 1723 off the coast of Massachusetts, so he has a ring that is inside a maritime museum of Andover, and Bobby says, "I need that ring." and Rufus goes, "Are you asking for my help, Bob?" Very cute. [G: So true.] And Bobby very reluctantly says, "I'm asking for a ring, and I'd appreciate your help getting it." The world's best proposal.

G: They're engaged! They're about to get married! So true. [C: So true.] Bobby said, "Marry me a little." Is that a funny joke, or is it so corny? [laughs]

C: I don't know.

G: I think if I committed to saying it, it would be.

C: I think Dean and Lisa are sort of the "Marry Me a Little" relationship.

G: No, because his name is Bobby, and he's saying, "I'm asking for a ring."

C: Okay, I see, I see. Yeah, okay, yeah. It's a funny joke. I'm sorry I didn't get it. That's on me.

G: Thank you. You were too invested in the plot of Company to realize the incredibly shallow joke I made.

C: Silly me.

-

C: Rufus is already heading to Andover to get this ring, and Supernatural thinks we're stupid, so he has him exposit to Bobby that "Oh, so your plan is to get the ring and summon Gavin's ghost in order to exchange hostages with Crowley, so that you can have your soul back!" Bobby says, "Yeah, something like that." He is trying to eat the cobbler again, where he takes it out of the fridge, but then the phone rings, and he's so sad. And Dean called-

G: Just eat it while the call is happening, just like me in the podcast and you in the podcast.

C: I don't get it. And me in the podcast! I love to snack during the podcast.

G: No, yeah, it is incredibly funny when I'm editing the podcast, and I start speaking in a way that will imply that I will speak for a long time, and then I hear a crinkle of snacks from your end. [both laugh]

C: Yeah, I mean, it's always first thing in the morning for me, so I usually haven't eaten before. [G: So true.] I got hungry during. But yeah, so Dean's like, "Yeah, the case is fine, Bobby. But it's Saaam!" [both laugh] And Bobby looks up, kind of annoyed. [G: So true.] And he's like, "Something's different about Sam, he's not right-"

G: Honestly, this is a hilarious scene. I mean, it is a hilarious scene. I don't think it's supposed to be funny. It is funny, though.

C: I think it's supposed to be a little bit funny with the whole Sam looking at Dean being like, "Ugh. Okay!" during Bobby yelling at them.

G: I do find it so amusing that like, if you're not like fully invested in the Sam and Dean story, and you're just like, a bypasser in a way- Like, Bobby is invested, but also, he's not like in the day-to-day like we are as an audience, how ridiculous it all sounds. [C: Yeah.] [laughs] Like all their drama? So fucking true. Now, I'm thinking about like when Ellen was like, "Okay, so what's up with you two?" and being like, "Okay, fine, here we go again."

C: Yeah, yeah. I mean, she thought that they were both fighting for the same woman or something, so yeah, to her, whatever their drama is, it seems very frivolous to her.

G: Yeah. Literally. And it probably is. [C: Yeah.] What was happening when she said that? Sam just-

C: Sam's demon blood thing.

G: Oh, yeah and opening the gates or whatever.

C: Dean wouldn't let him hunt.

G: Not the gate, the Cage.

C: That was in Season 2. They didn't know about the Cage yet. This was specifically in 5.02, right? So it was that Dean wouldn't let Sam go outside to hunt on his own.

G: Oh yeah, because of the demon blood. [C: Yeah.] So true.

C: So it was about that.

G: It was about Ruby. Oh, that is the implication that they're doing. Like, they're fighting over a woman-

C: Yeah, but in a different way than Ellen thinks. [G: Yeah.] Dean's like, "Ugh, I know he's been through so much, and he changed, but like, something's wrong, Bobby!" And someone starts calling Bobby, specifically Rufus, and Bobby's trying to cut this short. But Dean's all like, "Can you tell me everything about what Sam was like during the year while he was away?" [G laughs] And Bobby is just like, "Dean, no. I have another call." And he goes, "You what??"

G: Yeah, he puts Dean on hold, and Dean is so bitter, upset, sad, crying, throwing up.

C: Bobby says, "I have to take this. It's important." And Dean scoffingly laughs and goes, "More important than Sam???"

G: It's literally Bobby, Dean. Bobby doesn't give a fuck. [C laughs] And the thing is like, it is not urgent. It is a conversation that can have a pause, you know?

C: It can happen at any time.

G: This is not something that is- The thing is, to be perfectly clear, Bobby didn't hang up. He put Dean on hold, which means that he is committing to going back to this conversation. And if Dean later on wasn't like, "Oh, yeah, Bobby. Never mind, then. Fuck you!" like, Bobby would have continued that fucking call.

C: Yeah, I mean, Dean's just meant to be extremely selfish right now in order to cause Bobby to snap, so these are all things that the writers agree with. It's about how Dean doesn't think about how Bobby has other hunters that he's in contact with. He thinks that he's so special, so he can't imagine that anything could be time-sensitive for him, etc.

G: Yeah. You know what should have happened at some point in Supernatural? [C: Yeah.] While Sam and Dean are visiting Bobby, there happens to be two other hunters that are visiting Bobby that are around their age, [C laughs] and they realize that Bobby has so many like, "like a kid to me" people in his life. [C laughs] It will be hilarious. Dean would literally cry and throw up.

C: Oh, absolutely. In "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid," he was like, "Karen, I hate you, and Bobby's like a father to me! [G laughs] So I don't know why you're up in my business trying to control his life." even though she was like a wife to him, so this is a pretty consistent characterization.

G: So true. Hilarious.

C: So it's Rufus on the phone, and he's driving very fast. There are police chasing him because he stole that ring from the museum, and he's like, "I have to hide this ring!" and Bobby says, "Don't swallow it!" and he says, "I'm swallowing it!" And he does.

G: And it's so cute because it's not like he didn't hear Bobby well. It was more like Bobby going, "Don't swallow it" gave him the idea that he can swallow it, and so he does! [C laughs] So true and so important.

C: Yeah, they are in wuv. And the rest of this, we only hear from Bobby's perspective, they didn't shoot this, but the police catch up to Rufus, and he says something about how the police are using unnecessary force, and that he knows his rights. And Bobby hangs up and goes back to Dean.

G: I did wonder here about like the concept of a, you know, a Black hunter like Rufus, [C: Yeah.] and the types of leeways that Sam and Dean get for being white men. [C: Yeah.] I mean, Rufus was retired for a long time, or at least retired on the hunting side of hunting. He was on the research, as he said.

C: Yes. I have also wondered this, but I don't think I really have anything to say. [G: Yeah.] Except that I do think that him like pointing out the force, and that he knows his rights is something that I hadn't heard Sam and Dean say, and it seems like something that he did like, I don't know. You know-

G: This is more conscious thought about it, yeah.

C: Yeah. Yeah, I guess these weren't the same people who wrote last episode, or are they? Who wrote last episode? Bedlund. [G: Bedlund.] I don't know how much they coordinate, but this is two police brutality against Black people mentions [G: Yeah, they're back-to-back.] back-to-back in this season, so yeah. I wonder if they talked about this amongst themselves at all while writing.

G: If I were to place a bet, I would say no. [laughs]

C: Yeah. Yeah. Just a coinkydink.

G: Bobby is like, "Okay, well, Rufus is being arrested." He goes back to Dean, and Dean is like, "Bobby, what the hell??" [both laugh] That is what he sounded like. And he's like, "You know what? You're the one person I can talk to about this stuff. I'm so stressed out about everything. There's Sam, and there's Lisa and Ben. I don't even know what to do anymore! And you won't even listen to me?"

C: He says that he's the only person he can talk to about leaving Lisa and Ben, which is also the language [G: Not true.] I think Sam used last episode about Dean joining him on hunting. Like, did I totally misunderstand 6.02? Isn't he literally just on a business trip?

G: I think- you know what? When you were saying that, halfway through, I thought what you were gonna say is "Has Sam convinced Dean that this is, in fact, leaving Lisa and Ben?"

C: Or, I don't know. I guess I was more wondering if Dean told Sam that it- phrased it in a way that made it seem like it was more permanent.

G: No, but like, if you remember, the start of that scene is Dean-

C: He is on the phone with Ben, yeah.

G: - telling Ben off in a way that is very much like he is still solidly a part of Ben's life. So like, I think it was explained well to Sam.

C: Yeah. So like, why are they saying leaving?

G: Well, Sam got into Dean's head. [both laugh]

C: So true. He's not coming back anymore. [G: Yeah.] Except when he's a vampire. I know that happens.

G: Only when he's a vampire. Any other situation, he's not coming back. [C: Yeah.]

As Dean is going on this retort, Bobby just does the Kubrick stare, and like, you know, he goes, "Okay, well, I hear you, Dean, but now, it's not a good time." And Dean just goes, "Yeah? You know what? Forget it. I mean, I'm baring my soul like a freaking girl here! [laughs] And you've got stuff to do, so that's fine. But seriously, a little selfish. It's not all about you, Bobby." [both laugh] He's hilarious.

C: They really ham it up here.

G: In fairness, he is incredibly funny.

C: I don't think Dean would say this. [laughs]

G: Yeah. Anyway, Bobby just goes like, "Okay, well, where's your brother?" And then they put him on speaker, Dean calls Sam, and now they're listening to Bobby deliver his angry monologue. He goes, "Well, I love you both like you're my own, I do. But sometimes, you two are the whiniest, most self-absorbed sons of bitches I've ever met!" And you know, he's like, "I can't believe you call me selfish when you two are so fucking annoying." True. "I dig up so much lore for you two, and I pulled you out of fires, and when you need someone to bitch about about each other"--[both laugh] and then Sam hears this and looks up at Dean like, "The fuck? That's what you were doing?" [C laughs] And Bobby is like, "You call me, and I come through, and just for this once, you won't even give me whatever. Anything." And he says, "You guys are not the center of the universe," which will be disproven by the show, [C: Yeah.] "But in case it slipped your mind, Crowley has my soul, and time is running out, and I will be damned if I'm going to sit around and be damned." And he goes, "Well, how about you two help me for once?" And Sam goes, "Bobby, all you gotta do is ask." [both laugh] I can't believe Sam is being included in this! He did nothing wrong. [C: Yeah.] This is Dean's fault.

C: Yeah, I don't know, man. Maybe Sam was really annoying during that year, and Bobby's just been building up to this for him, too.

G: Literally. Do you remember that one time when Sam was drinking, and he was like, "Bobby, I think I'm gonna throw myself into the pit."

C: Yeah. [laughs]

G: Bobby has resented him ever since that conversation.

C: So true. Dean says, "Anything you need, we're there."

G: Yeah, which is how Bobby manages to guilt Dean into going to Scotland via plane.

C: Yeah. Hell yeah. So the next day, he meets up with Jody, and yeah, she says that Marcy called the police and she told her that she'd look into the home invasion but didn't file a report. That seems quite mean. Like, Marcy saw the okapi. Or sorry, the okami? Yeah. Marcy saw the okami. [G: Yeah.] I feel like Jody should probably just explain it to her.

G: I mean, not only saw the okami, saw the okami go through a fucking woodchipper. Like, what's going on?

C: I don't know. But yeah, they don't care. 'Cause what Bobby needs is a favor for his boy best friend!

G: He did not let go.

C: Rufus is being held in Massachusetts on a burglary charge, and he needs Jody to extradite him for a murder charge. And this is, you know, Bobby, reaching out and asking for help more, that's his arc, as you've mentioned, and Jody's like, "That is not going to happen. It's so hard. I would have to call in all my favors. And how are you going to help him escape from being here under a murder charge? This is going to ruin my career." And Bobby's like, "Pwease?? Yeah, I've done a lot for this town, including things you don't know about, and I'm not good at this asking for help thing, but pwease?" And Jody says, "Sorry. I can't." And he's very sad in his house, and then there's a knock, and Jody's there, with Rufus! And Rufus goes, "Miss me?" Ah! I love love. [G: Love it.] Jody says that they have one hour, and then she's going to call the Feds and say that Rufus escaped. And Bobby goes, "Thank you." And Rufus produces the ring, which I guess he shat out at some point, and Bobby is off to clean it.

-

G: Bobby summons the son of Crowley, and this dude's name is Gavin. But later on, and honestly, until now, I mean, honestly, I thought his name was Kevin. [both laugh] Because the entire time, I thought Crowley was calling him Kevin. But no, his name is, in fact, Gavin. It would be incredibly funny to be a guy from the 1660s or whatever- well, I suppose 1670s?- and be named Kevin. Bobby starts talking to this guy, but we don't hear what's happening, and it's like, ominous on what's going on. But then we go to Bobby summoning Crowley. And Crowley allegedly looks bad, but I think he looks completely fine. And Bobby goes, "Well, you look like hammer crap," and Crowley goes, "And you're a vision as always." Love is real! [C: Yeah.] They do this with Dean and Cas, too, in a way that I find completely amusing. I think it was Season 10 after Dean goes back to human from being a demon. Cas goes in, he's like, "Well, you look like crap." And Dean goes, "You, on the other hand, looking good!" or whatever. Incredibly funny.

C: Yeah, I've seen this.

G: Yeah. Are they gay? Question of all time.

C: Yeah. [laughs]

G: They are? Or it's a question of all time?

C: Well, I don't know. That's for you to find out.

G: Yeah. Well, happy November 5 to everyone who celebrated, including meee! Crowley is like, right under a devil's trap, and basically, Crowley talks about how he has trouble in paradise because it's so difficult to run Hell. Crowley goes, "You know what the problem with demons is? They're demons. Evil, lying rats, the whole lot of them. And stupid. You try to show them a new, better way, and they don't want it!" So, you know, etc. He says that maybe Lucifer was right when he wanted to kill every demon in the world. Bobby shows like, the kid. Gavin. [laughs] The kid is a grown man. He's just Gavin to Crowley. And then Crowley goes, "Kevin?" [both laugh] He goes, "Kevin, is that you?" And he starts putting on the dramatics like, "Oh, I love you so much! I miss you! I can't believe it!" but then he laughs, and he's like, "Well, sorry, Bobby. I don't actually give a shit about this kid." I think he says "I loathe the little bastard." So true and so fun. What if the kid has bad vibes?

C: - was had out of wedlock?

G: Yeah. He says, "You picked the wrong bargaining chip, Bobby." But Bobby goes, "Well, what I actually did was that I digged up some dirt on you, and your kid, Gavin, really helped me out with this one because he loathes you more than you loathe him." And you know, Crowley goes, "What did you tell him?" Kevin goes, "Everything!" Bobby says that Crowley was, as you said, a tailor who sold his soul for an extra three inches on his dick. And Crowley goes, "Well, I'm just trying to hit double digits." So true! [C: Real.] Bobby also says, "And I know where you're buried." And he calls Dean, and Dean's like, "Hi, Crowley! We're in Scotland right now." And we pan over to Sam and Dean, who are in Scotland right now, and there's a castle behind them so you know they're in Scotland right now, and they're digging up a grave, and they go, "Oh, we've gone international. In fact, we're in your neck of the woods." Do you need a visa to go to the UK?

C: I don't know. [muttering, typing] No.

G: No?

C: No.

G: Oh, you are permitted to go without a visa! That's cool as hell! Dean asks like, "Did you really used to wear a skirt?" Crowley goes, "I had very athletic calves." Anyway, they explain that what they're doing is they're digging up his bones, and they're going to burn that thing. And Crowley says, "Well, it's a myth. You can't kill me by burning my bones." But Bobby goes, "I know an employee of yours that would disagree," and then we flash back to the demon and realize that what's inside those bag? Human bones, and they're her bones, and Bobby burned them to kill her. RIP! Bobby has this speech about how like, "You think you're so special? You're just a ghost, but worse!" Anyway, Dean [laughs] does this thing where he's like, flicking the lighter over and over again. And then he goes, "You hear that, Crowley? That's me flicking my BIC for you." And I went, "Ew!" [C: Yeah.] Kind of disgusting. But okay. Eventually, Crowley accepts his fate, and he lets Bobby go from his contract. And Bobby makes a comment about leaving the thing with the legs in, and he does. "Pleasure doing business with you."

C: Sam and Dean are still in Scotland, and Crowley has teleported towards them. Dean's like, "Maybe I'll just light your bones on fire anyway!" But Sam closed the lighter, and he goes, "Dean, he's a dick, but a deal's a deal." And Crowley tells Sam like, "Fuck you. I don't need you to fight my battles for me." I think that's supposed to be another hint that Sam is soulless, because his whole thing before was that he hates Crowley so much and wants to kill him every second they're together. Crowley disappears, and they do a shot of Scotland, where they pan out to the castle and like, the woods and shit. [laughs] [G: So true.] Don't know why.

G: I mean, they don't know how to show anything. [laughs] I do think the bit where Dean is driving on the other side is very fun.

C: Right. So Dean's driving on the wrong side of the road. He's on the phone with Bobby, and Bobby says, "Thank you for doing that, especially because I know you hate flying." Dean's like, "No, it's cool. I love riling up Crowley and shit." And Sam says that Dean was so nervous and puked four times, and Dean says that if some nut job decided to try something, he was going to attack them with a fork. [laughs] So Dean's afraid of flying because he thinks 9/11 is going to happen again? It's not because it's just like, it's really high up in the air??

G: Is that what it implies?

C: He says that what he was afraid of was like, somebody trying to attack him, right?

G: Yeah.

C: So I thought 1.04, he was just saying that humans aren't supposed to be that high up or something.

G: Yeah. But now they're like, "He's afraid because he's afraid that someone's going to be a terrorist in the plane"?

C: Yeah.

G: I thought what they were doing here was that, "Oh, yeah, Dean's afraid of flying, and it's made him paranoid in all other aspects."

C: That could be it.

G: Yeah. Just like when you were flying, and I was like, "What if the plane crashes or Crystal chokes on a cracker or something?" [C laughing] So true.

C: Those Biscoffs are really dry, and I don't like them. I know that's not a popular opinion, but I don't like Biscoffs. I think they're bad.

G: I like them. I'll eat them.

C: Okay. I'll bring them all to you.

G: Thank you.

C: Bobby's like, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier," and Sam's like, "No, you're right! We take you for granted!" Dean's like, "You've been helping us for so long, and we would be dead without you!" And then Bobby says, "Okay, then. Let's roll credits on this chick flick." And I guess I was literally just making fun of them for having emotions earlier, too, but it wasn't gendered, and that's why I'm better. [laughs]

G: Or is it?

C: Or is it?

G: When were we making fun of them having emotions?

C: By saying it in a silly voice. [both laugh]

G: Oh, okay.

C: I think maybe my silly voice is gendered, though. Like, it's higher pitched than my regular voice. Maybe I am the same.

G: I think it's supposed to show childishness. A child would have a higher voice.

C: That's true. Okay, but when we do valley girl accents when we're making fun of them, I think that is gendered.

G: What is a valley girl accent?

C: Like, "[honestly sounds more New York than valley girl] Oh my god!" or whatever. No, not that.

G: This is the first time I've heard you use that voice.

C: Not exactly that, but like, I don't think that was a valley girl accent. I need to review what a valley girl accent is.

G: I think you have a valley girl accent just fundamentally.

C: In general?

G: Yeah? You think that's not true?

C: I don't think that's true. [G: Okay.] Maybe it's true. Yeah, so Bobby says that- No, you're right. They are weird about Scotland because he says, "Try some of the local grub. I hear it's exotic." What does that mean?

G: Yeah. They have that sausage thing, right? It's blood or something? Which is normal schnormal in many places.

C: Yeah, I don't know. Something. Dean's just going to Olive Garden. Good call. Their all you can eat deal is good.

G: You know what? They should have said they should try the whiskey there, which they should have. They're whiskey enthusiasts!

C: That's true. The thing is, they just drink to have alcohol. I don't think they're that into having like good stuff. [G: Fancy stuff.] After finally hanging up, Bobby has cut out a piece of the cobbler. He's sat down with his fork. He's ready to eat it, but the phone rings. And he answers it, and it's back to same old, same old, pretending to be the FBI. And it's so sad that he'll never be able to eat the cobbler because he never learned how to fucking multitask. [G: Yeah.] The end!

G: I mean it also- I think it's supposed to be like, "Yeah, same old, same old, but he doesn't have this burden burdening him anymore." [C: That's true.] Which is nice.

C: He doesn't have this burden burdening him anymore, but he'll also never have a normal life where he gets to eat a cobbler! And that woman won't go out with him because he's a hunter, and he sprayed her all with blood.

G: I mean, I think no, the point is that, you know, you can have this life-changing thing happen to you, and you just go back to your life, and it's still your life, which is pretty nice, I think.

C: Yeah. But the fact that he's like, "Oh, of course this is how it turns out" when she turns down his "I'll come over for dinner" thing.

G: But he's not like, upset. He's not upset at this point in this episode.

C: He's not upset, but I think that the general whole thing is like, you're supposed to feel bad for him because he can't have a normal life, and that normal life by woman thing, you know?

G: Are you? I think it's excellent when someone is pursuing you, or you're pursuing someone, and it falls apart, and you're like, "Now it's done, and I can go back to my life." [laughs] which is what's happening to Bobby.

C: So you think he was really, really happy about it?

G: Well, I mean, he was- I think there is a feeling of like, "Oh, new thing, new thing, new thing. My new thing's over. I can go back to my life."

C: But he's not happy about it.

G: Is he not? He looks fine.

C: [laughing] He's upset during the episode. He's often upset.

G: No, he's upset because there's this fucking time that's ticking for him, and his soul is gonna be taken to Hell and tortured forever, and now that's done, and he's fine.

C: Yeah, no, it's done, it's fine, but he also can't eat a cobbler, and he's been trying to for many times throughout the episode.

G: This is true. But I thought it was like, you know, like at the end of a sitcom, and you're like, "Silly me!" Like that kind of thing. [laughs]

C: I think we're supposed to be sad about it.

G: Really? Who even likes a peach cobbler?

C: Because he tries so much to eat the cobbler. It's a real storyline.

G: Just take a bite while you answer the phone.

C: I agree, and I think that they could have done that as like a, "He's still able to have joys and little things in life while pursuing this life," but like, they don't have him do that to be like, "His life is so hard."

G: I think it would be fine if he delivers a sentence and then takes a bite, which I think will be fun!

C: I agree, but they didn't, because they were trying to say something else.

G: Yeah. Well, that's it for this episode. [both laugh]

-

G: Best Line/Worst Line?

C: It's- yeah. God! There were lines? I'm sure I laughed at points.

G: I do love Rufus this episode, so I think my best line should go to him.

C: Oh yeah!

G: I would say I love when Bobby goes, "Woodchipper," and Rufus takes a pause and goes, "Okey-dokey. Woodchipper. That can do it." They're very cute.

C: He's so charming! [G: Yeah.] I like when Bobby says that he's not asking for Rufus's help, and Rufus says, "I ain't asking for your permission."

G: Yeah, that is good. And you know what? I do think it's fascinating that both of them play the role of like, grumpy old guy, but Rufus is charming and charismatic, and Bobby's just there. [both laugh] I'm so sorry. It's true, though.

G: Yeah. It's because Rufus smiles, and Bobby doesn't.

G: Yeah, Rufus is like, he's more expressive, I suppose, [C: Yeah.] in both the bad and the good aspects of his feelings.

C: And Rufus is also hot, and Bobby isn't. [both laugh]

G: Yeah, well, worst line. I don't like when the demon is flirting with Bobby, 'cause Bobby's not hot. [both laugh]

C: [laughing] And that's the only reason. I think there's like- When Dean says that- well, that's in character, but when he says he's "baring his soul like a frigging girl" in combination with Bobby bringing out the chick flick line at the end.

G: Yeah, they do love to do that. [C: Yeah.] Spreadsheets?

C: Yeah. Alright. Misogyny? It's there.

G: It's there. Two? I do think Dean and Bobby's girl comments and then the portrayal of the demon, so.

C: And also Marcy.

G: Oh, yeah! I suppose Marcy, the thing that they do with Marcy is fundamental to the episode. [C: Yeah. 3?] So I would say a 3.

C: Yeah. Racism?

G: I don't think so.

C: I don't think so. Well, was the okami a little bit? I don't know.

G: Oh. Yes, I would say 1 point.

C: Alright, 1 point.

G: We're allowed. We're Busty Asian Beauties: A Supernatural Commentary Podcast.

C: Yeah. [both laugh] We're allowed to overweight things that happen with Asian people. Just like our breasts.

G: Just like our what?

C: I said our breasts.

G: Ugh!

C: We can cut that. Homophobia. Is the making fun of Crowley for wearing a skirt thing- I don't know. Homophobia and transmisogyny is always pretty combined in Supernatural.

G: I'll give it a 1.

C: IMDb. People like this episode. I know that people like this episode. Do they like it enough to stop hating Season 6 so much? It's like, back to regular Supernatural rating.

G: Well, I'm the first one who's going to guess, and I would say yes. I'm giving this an 8.6.

C: Okay. I was thinking 8.5, but also, that might be, I don't know, I think I want to go higher, because I feel like I know this episode's really liked. But also, every time we've gone high, it's been wrong 'cause people hate Season 6. I'll just go with my initial instinct of 8.5.

G: Okay, let's see. Ha.

C: Watch it be a fucking 9.

G: It's a 9.1.

C: We're so wrong about everything, always.

G: Well, I'm righter, so.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Okay, people really love this episode. People do like it when you go outside of the typical format.

G: Yeah. "Absolute gem of Season 6. The second best episode overall."

C: What's the first?

G: Overall what? Over all of the show? [C: Maybe.] They said that gag with Garth is wonderful. So true. I do love it. I suppose that is also a favorite line of mine if I were to choose two.

C: Yeah, that was fun. Yeah. "Bobby and Crowley were such a good break from the boys. I love them, but sometimes it's a bit much." Real. "There are some very disturbing scenes (the demon execution in Bobby's basement) and some very funny scenes (the woman)."

G: What the fuck is the woman?

C: Marcy? Do they mean Marcy? [G laughs]

G: They love the movie Drag Me to Hell and is very glad that it was mentioned.

G: "The only thing I'm asking myself: Does this episode solve the problem Dean and Sam had all Season 2 in just one Episode?" What the fuck was your problem in Season 2?

C: Like they could burn Azazel’s bones?

G: Oh. Hell yeah. They could. But isn't Azazel a Prince of Hell?

C: Crowley is the king of Hell.

G: No, but like, a Prince of Hell means you're old as fuck.

C: Oh, maybe.

G: Yeah. They were going international.

C: Oh my god, wait! This is so fun! Someone rated this 10 out of 10, said "I'd been waiting for this and didn't know it," and then at the end, they say, "Now can someone tell me if there's one like it for Castiel? That would be worth continuing to watch..." I can't wait for this person to have probably already gone to "Man Who Would Be King."

G: Yeah. Let's give it a like. I'll make it helpful. Oh, no, it's asking me to sign up for an account! [C: You need an account.] Fuck off!

C: Oh my god, this is their only review on IMDb.

G: Oh my god, they reviewed "We Go Together." "We Go Together"? They review- [C: What?] No, sorry. I thought they reviewed Much Ado About Nothing [both laughing], but I'm just looking at my recently viewed.

C: Incredibly funny. My last ones before the last two Supernatural episodes are Crazy Rich Asians, Jimmy O. Yang, and Love Hard. [both laugh]

G: No, yeah. We can see the journey and the destination.

That’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 6, Episode 5: "Live Free or Twihard." [C: Hell yeah.] Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. And... wait, I didn't open our sticky note for what this last part is. I thought I knew it. I don't. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, which is where our outtakes live, and check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com.

G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2009): NewDoom Community Project II

Sigh

I hate my life.

G2: NewDoom Community Project II

Main author(s): Various (project led by)

Release date: April 8th, 2009

Version(s) played: updated

Required port compatibility: Boom

Levels: 32 (standard 30+2)

Hey, look – it’s another stupid community project that I (most of the time) played bit by bit to not bore myself to death. But let’s not dive ourselves into negativity immediately. What are we talking about?

Newdoom Community Project II is a successor to the original NDCP. Now, I wasn’t exactly the fan of the original community project, ‘cause it felt like a slog to play through; not to mention many maps having the annoying Classic Doom gimmicks that even by 2006 felt outdated.

Now, this project began its development on January 10th, 2006
, just two days after the previous community project. It was led by Wes Rath (PumpkinSmasher), who was one of the contributors to the first project. People were trying not to drag the in-making of this project like the first one, but considering it was released over 3 years after NDCP 1, you can already guess how it went off.

Time to find out if it’s better than the first NDCP.

Now, my mind of these at this point is hectic and fragmented since I don’t exactly remember them, but I know one thing for sure – these maps look better than the ones from the first community project. They seem to be more complex without going too far (at least most of the time), and I think they have more insane locations for the lack of better words, like for instance the area after the first one in Second Attention.

Music-wise, it got much better, since unlike the first NDCP, most of the maps here have custom tracks. My favorite one was from Comrade (which is one of Marilyn Manson’s covers MIDIfied); there are a couple of fun tracks as well, like one of the tracks from the Ace Attorney series in Halfway Between or the remix of On the Hunt in ShootDown.

Most of the time, the maps didn't seem to be overly complex, but they do suffer from the one-map WAD syndrome (I mean, come on; it’s a community project after all). I don’t know if it’s a bigger chore to play these maps rather than the ones from the first NDCP since I don’t really remember my experience playing those maps anymore, but considering how I didn’t feel that negative towards this WAD, I think I can count as this WAD’s pro.

In terms of more memorable maps, there is the aforementioned Halfway Between, where you hop between two versions of the map (the other variant, of course, looks more demonic).

Darkseed is full of traps so assholic that you won’t be able to finish it without saving on your blind playthrough. It might be dickish, but at least it made me feel something.

Evil Eye might be the most interesting map since you are forced to shoot only if there are no titular eyes looking at you, otherwise the murder squadron of arch-viles will come after you.

Brimstone’s first half feels more like a racing track on lava (it moves fast as shit). Watch the jump at its end.

And of course, it wouldn’t be a typical community project without yet another, shitty icon of shit.

I can only hope that the 2010s will have much less of these.

While yes, it is another mixed bag of a community project with its difficulty. In case of this WAD, it’s overall somewhere in between, but it tends to get hard at the final third (for more or less fair reasons).

One of the harder maps I can muster from my mind is Plutonic Dawn, of which just the name itself should warn you what caliber of the map you are about to face despite having less than 150 enemies on HMP. It is also one of the maps that I didn’t feel like it was dragging out.

What ruins many moments while playing, however, are two new enemies. The first being slomnibus, AKA macadamia nut on crack that explodes upon contact. Really annoying to deal with and any tactics while fighting the other enemies go into the trash as soon as these twats appear.

Same with the flesh-made turret, because how else do I have to call him? By his official name? No thoughts. No brain. No reaction to getting shot by other demons. Just shoot where Doomguy is no matter how far he is, nor if he’s behind a wall/enemy or not. It’s like this… thing was a half-ass made enemy and people behind this community project didn’t have time to polish him.

You know, I got used to the fact, that by the late 2000s, WADs have next to no bugs, but this one is kind of a buggy mess to say it kindly. Cannot finish Not Applicable because you end up stuck in the yellow key area and the exit doors refuse to budge; Cyber-Rinth available only through commands/cheats because the exit teleporter to it is blocked by an invisible wall; not to mention a couple of cases where the enemies end up stuck and unregisterable secrets.

If this WAD were released like a decade ago, that would probably be normal for such an amount of bugs. And I know, many of the authors were probably green in map making at that time, but I think I can remember the first WADs of other people that felt less buggy than some of the maps in this one.

NewDoom Community Project II is a much better WAD than its predecessor, but I don’t think I would still recommend playing it. Some of the maps are worth taking a look at, but that’s it. Don’t marathon this WAD if you are interested in it.

…

phew

Now with that boredom gone, I only have a spooky clown map part two before finally playing… that other, last WAD from 2009.

…

Shit.

[dkptx]

An Empowered Techno-Pessimism

I am trying to articulate an attitude towards technology that I've had since I was a child. It might be called cynical, or curmudgeonly, retro-grouch, or nostalgia for a Golden Age that never existed. One pillar of this attitude is an assumption that the newer version of anything is usually worse. It's worse because they've made it more complicated, added poorly-thought out gimmicks, chiseled away at the core functionality, used cheaper materials, optimized the product for advertising over functionality. If the product was too good they discontinued it. It's a suspicion of new materials: plastic, carbon, polycarbonate, and a faith in metal, stone, and natural fibers.

So that's one half of it, the new version is worse! Keep the old version.

The second pillar of this sensibility is a sense of personal agency that counterbalances the doom implied by the first. It's a confidence that we can undo the bullshit by slashing and cutting it off—a belief that it is our right and our duty as mechanics and people with taste to simply cut off the superfluous parts from the new versions and throw them in the trash. It's an empowering realization that most things can be made better by making them simpler, and that is … fairly easy to do, actually. Easier than building from scratch, to be sure. By removing pieces, and interlocks, and sensors, and switches, you make the object, the tool, the piece of technology lighter and more reliable, but more importantly you make the experience of using it more zen. There is one way, this way, and it stays the same. No different modes, no different settings, just learn the tool.

I'm trying to figure out how I learned this way of approaching tools. I really can't remember where it came from, or the first time I did it. I guess it was probably with bikes. Taking the pads off my first bike and thinking it looked cleaner that way. More honest. The chain-guard next.

It's also something you learn from the little-boy habit of taking things apart with a screwdriver. Appliances, electronic things. You learn to see loops, and then you learn to see loops of core functionality, with additional loops added on: switches and interlocks. Then you learn you can cut those off, remove parts, bypass parts, as long as you leave the core loop intact. I'm thinking about toy remote control cars here. I played with those a lot. You learn the distinction between parts that are visual, and parts that are functional. And then you learn to see parts that are purely visual as lies. It feels like they are pandering to you. I'm thinking, now, about R/C monster trucks I had with chrome exhaust pipes, and air intake scoops on the hood. It's electric! How stupid do you think I am? Lol. That's really what it was. Six-year-old me was outraged that radio shack toy designers were insulting his intelligence.

So what do you do with this attitude, in adult life? Well, the world is increasingly built with interlocks that are better and better hidden within software, and … that is what it is. idk. You just need to keep bypassing.