#so that’s where it just feels like a stupid gimmick to me. but I guess we’ll see (or I’ll gain a better understanding about the whole thing

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hey I was wondering if you would be up for writing a fic where the reader just showers Buggy in affection and just takes care of him. He could definitely do with some tlc

When you first shown Buggy any form of affection or love, his natural reaction was to pull away, to flinch, to push you away for the sake of upholding the gimmick he had thrusted onto him by others. He just wasn’t use to someone being genuine, being so kindhearted, patient and filled to the brim with unconditional love and adoration towards him like you have that it made him fearful, for the first time for he finally had something he was so scared to loose.

Buggy knew now that he couldn’t run away from this fight against letting himself drop his guard and fall apart within your arms forever, no matter how much he wanted to. He knew that one day he’d have to raise the white flag and admit defeat, little did Buggy know that he’d wave that white flag long ago and had admitted defeat whilst in the comfort of your arms and your sweet honeyed words. You provided Buggy with the safe space to be vulnerable, to be able to be rid of his make up, allow for you to see the beautiful man beneath the flashiness, the gimmicks and the theatrics; He even remembered the words you told him when he first allowed himself to sink deeply into your embrace, which opened his eyes to the route he was leading himself down towards.

‘Just because one person destroyed your ability to put your trust in others doesn’t mean that everyone else is going to do the same.’ You whispered into his ear as your hands ran through his beautiful blue hair with care. ‘The actions of one person isn’t a reflection of others. You can choose to not trust but live to regret to be open with that one special somebody or open up to everybody and blindly hope that they don’t use your kindness to stab you in the back.’

Not that Buggy would ever tell you but you held his glass heart within your hands and instead of smashing it like he originally thought you would, you surprised him by holding it close to your chest; looking down at it adoringly and so full of love that it made Buggy a tad teary eyed, for if someone as beautiful and downright perfect as you could ever love someone as flawed as him without being forced into loving him…then he guessed that he was finally doing something right. Soon enough your arms and being smothered in your kisses and honeyed words had become Buggy’s most favoured place to lay his aching self to rest after a seemingly stressful day, where nothing seemed to go exactly to plan.

‘You look comfortable there? Hard day?’ You asked softly as Buggy grunts as he buries his head into your neck, his arms quickly latching onto your waist tightly. Normally you’d have to be the one who initiated affection, which you still do on most occasions, but you also wanted Buggy to feel comfortable to come seek you out on his own terms rather then force him to. ‘Just cuddle me will ya?’ He said groggily and you couldn’t help but chuckle at his neediness.

‘What’s the magic word?’ You teased, trying so hard to bite back your snickers when Buggy lifted his head from your neck to glare at you softly but before he could say anything, you pressed a quick kiss to his cute nose, rendering him wide eyed and speechless before going in to plant a kiss directly to his lips. ‘Cute.’ You whispered against him, getting off on the expressions you pull out of him from gifting him basic levels of love and affection, before pulling away to look back into his gorgeous eyes that you never went a day without complimenting.

‘I’m not cute.’ Buggy said, his cheeks warm as the arms at your waist tightened their grip. ‘Dogs are cute, cats are cute, but I am not cute. I’m terrifying, people look at me and shit themselves from running away with their tails between there legs. And even then the ones that are stupid enough to stay behind are made examples of, so please tell me again how I’m apparently cute.’ He finished, choosing not to look into those soft, understanding and patient eyes of yours that he oh so loved. ‘You’re always cute to me Buggy,’ you started, raising his head to look directly at you by his chin, allowing your hand to drop back to his waist when you were confident he wouldn’t drop his gaze again.

‘Just like how you’re not only just cute but you’re also handsome, strategic, expressive with the way you talk and how you move your hands whilst you talk, flashy, dramatic, and above all you’re beautiful.’ Between each word you’d press a kiss to some part of his face, ignoring his adorable squeals and squawks of surprise that were music to your ears, not caring that you were smudging his make up and getting it on yourself as you held nothing but pride in your love for your Buggy, for as on rare occasions you would openly express your love towards him but saved a majority of it for behind closed doors; Not as though Buggy was anything but boisterous of his love for you and would shout it to the rooftops for all to hear in a possessive sort of way.

‘Really?’ Buggy asked once the flurry of kisses came to an end, looking at you with bright, hopeful eyes it melted your heart. ‘Yes, of course I do Buggy. How could I not? I’m extremely lucky to have you in my life and I couldn’t be more happier.’ You told him, watching as a goofy smile graced his lips as a chuckle fell out from his lips before Buggy decided to burying his head back into your neck, where he whispered against the skin there. ‘If either one of us is the lucky one, it’s me because you could’ve listened to everyone else and avoid me like the plague but you didn’t and I’m glad you didn’t because without you I wouldn’t know where or who I’d be. So thank you for never giving up on me…I love you.’

[emlan]

Finished DLC!

Here's some Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree ramblings, spoilers under cut.

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. DLC catered to me a lot since I'm a Zanzibart cutscene enjoyer who loves map exploration and Vista money shots but I'm kinda HUH-cat.clip when it comes to some new lore bits and in general the world feels divorced from main game even though main game characters and topics are around?

I don't remember how much souls DLC tied into the other story, but I'm using The Old Hunters from BB as base and it really added extra value to its world and characters and there's just nothing new of real interest in SotE from what I can see…

In a vacuum I can only appreciate even more (literal) brother on brother action but Miquella seemingly being deeply obsessed with Radahan is so out of left field??? Granted I'm not an lorester but what I remember as Miq's key things from flavor text when it comes to ties to other people is him being sad about being unable to cure Malenia of her rot and also sad about not being able to grant Godwyn his true death. The only ties to Radahan is by proxy of his sister fighting him? (Was she even fighting him just to bring bro his crush to him? This makes Caelid getting nuked by her even more of a waste.)

It's so out of nowhere that the Epic Prime Version of him comes off as a cheap soyjak pointing bit pandering to Radahan fanboys (pretty sure he's like no1 fav guy for players right), but fanboys will obviously not be happy about him just being a hollow shell again (?) that might not have wanted anything to do with Miquella (?) so I just can't see this as satisfying for ANY kind of player even on a full Gamer Dude to Deranged Fujoshi spectrum? I imagine deep lore enthusiasts also feels a bit… Ambushed.

I'm not against Miquella doing dark unpleasant or just stupid desperate acts since it was already a popular theory that he was a brainwasher type, but the issue for me is that I'm not sure if this Miq/Rad union is "intended" to be read in such a twisted way even when it's the only way I can read it.

Though I guess the fact general consensus going from "wow Mohg is so messed up claiming Miq no matter Miq's consent" to "wow Miq is so messed up claiming Radahan no matter Radahan's* consent" is poetic….?

*I'm writing Radahan here but really it's also a synonym for 'Mohg' considering he's the one getting desecrated the most.

I'm sure I'll end up watching some vid or writeup making pieces fall into place later but I can't believe Miyazaki is handing me visual age gap brother incest and all I can do is force a strained smile in response!!!

Anyway general whining time:

As much as I love filling out up the map I feel there was too much big "empty" areas. Climbing the dragon mountain was the worst presentation of anything I've seen in a FS title, extremely cheap unfinished filler feeling with the spirit jumps instead of at least adding some kinda atmosphere like the open flower/gravestone fields. The Abyss gimmick overstayed it's welcome since it's too miserable checking if you missed a shiny somewhere without your horse, but at least the stealth parts was such a non-issue it might as well not be there.

While I like that you can see several inaccessible areas from where you stand, and I do think it leads to some fun moments when you're taking a random path halfway across the map and ends up on the other side as an a-ha moment, it was a bit frustrating not being able to tell more clearly how to reach sections. Plus I would've died 10000 times from drops if it wasn't the fact Rainbow Stones protected me from making bad choices.

What mindbroke me most was trying to get into the flower field area north east, having an "oh boy, beating this guy will let me reach it for sure!" moment for both Gaius and Sunflower was such [record scratch SFX]. I did figure posing in front of the statue was most likely the entry afterwards but somehow I had missed the gesture needed (most embarrassing DLC moment considering I tend to fine comb pretty well and the gesture pickup is just sitting there out in the open………. why am I even admitting this shameful thing). Watching trees get knocked over from something moving under the water in the church district was really cool and unnerving and then you realize it's just branch dragon number 800……………..

The wicker men has a great design but fighting them was either a boring slog or a frustrating jankfest trying to toss the bombs right. Peeved that you HAVE to use a furnace pot for the sleeping one blocking the ruin puzzle, hefty should've been fine too.

Bosses are too hectic/aggressive for my taste but that's just business as usual for ER so whatever, last boss really is way too punishing compared to other Hard bosses tho, in fact I just watched ending on YT since I'm stuck still on them :V Camera also makes a glorious return as the toughest challenge of them all.

Think my biggest highlights was seeing the bizarre finger/tongue path under the church and the finger mom boss visual itself and the black humor of the miserable living jars stumbling around with the pot on their head. Ansbach is a hot new waifu and it's very precious how such an upstanding man stays all-in loyal to a Deranged Satan (said lovingly) soooo cute you actually get a "Um, so about how Mohg died…👉👈" prompt with him. There was more NPC voice lines than I expected which was fun. St Trina's design was very neat and shoujo manga. Having to sip syrup 4-5 times instead of the classic Third Time's The Charm is a crime however and I missed making the Trina fanboy jealous until it was too late :/

The open world for all of Elden Ring is such an incredible experience that I'm happy I got to play and I had such a good time and I can't imagine any other studios will be able to reach these map heights but I also hope they never make an OW game again because it's too much when you "need" to replay it.

[oh-no-its-bird]

hello dear author may i get ur opinion on genma. perhaps even genma/kakashi. perhaps. mayhaps. i just think they r neat and if u put them together that's double the neatness.

I love Genma so much actually, I think he's one of my favorite supporting characters to see in fics. Whenever I need a character to fill the roll of "random shinobi" I tend to default to him bc of biases (also his senbon is cool!! I love characters w a gimmick of just having like a toothpick in their mouth, and he has that but w a lethal presumably poisoned needle!! Love that for him)

I don't know how much canon actually provides for him character wise (never actually interacted with canon media lmao, I'm all fanfic) but I feel like there's honestly a lot of wiggle room with him

One of my personal favorite takes that (if I remember right) stems from a couple of @ blackkatmagic's fics is that he comes from a very small clan, distantly related to Orochimaru's own super small clan, the Orochi. Similar to how the Hyuuga and Uchiha are related

I lovee the mamma bear hc with him, I also love seeing him and Kakashi be any kind of friends. Currently I think one of my favorite takes on his and Kakashi's dynamic can be found in @vodkassassin's fic, Ear to the Wall.

Gemna only really shows up for a little bit, but the scenes he did get left a really big impact on me and how I see him (also the fic itself is amazing and is a very large inspiration for Orochimaru's involvement in Chasing Shadows, 10/10 read I HIGHLY recommend it, its a time travel fic but honestly even if time travel isnt your thing I'd still reccomend it bc its just one of those fics that fucks so hard you don't even care ab how you got here to start)

(<- spoken as someone obsessed with time travel fics)

Anyways, Genma/Kakashi!!

Actually thinking about it, I don't think I've seen any real fics about that pairing? I've run into it a few times as a past ship, like they hooked up once or twice or were fwb before the main pair gets together. But never one where they're the focus. That's tragic and needs to change immediatley

I love the idea of Genma being part of Kakashi's class when he graduated stupid young, never really interacting w him but like, existing. He wasn't Gai when it came to trying to hang out and around Kakashi, but he was certainly around.

No idea what he is in canon but I like to hc him as an information / infiltration specialist. So along with being around, he was also the kind of kid to really notice and keep tabs on stuff. (Konoha gossip king Gemna is THE hc to have sorry but I love it sm)

He didn't really approach Kakashi outside of any sort of casual nods or polite "hey"'s till after his whole team imploded.

I can kind of see him interacting with Kakashi in that in-between time where he was ANBU under Minato. But he was still mostly a very observant spectator, no real interaction

So then Minato dies and Kakashi goes off the deep end REAL hard, and Genma finally steps in. Maybe he joins Gai in trying to forcefully pry Kakashi out of his death spiral, maybe he approaches on his own, maybe he notices smthn or bumps into Kakashi alone while he's having a panic attack or smthn and there's a specific moment for that "final straw" where he finally decides to step in

Dunno!

But anyways that's when they start to get to be friends fr

I think Genma would be interesting and good for Kakashi at that point, bc he isn't a stranger, he knows what happened, he can make a lot of very good guesses at Kakashi's triggers and traumas and know what to avoid talking ab. But he's not Gai, who was sort of in the middle of it for a good portion of the drama, having a front row seat to it all. Which also comes with it's own emotional baggage.

Genma is a good middle ground, if that makes sense?

Also I think his calmer carefree energy would be good for Kakashi, especially at that point

They're pretty cute together!! If nothing else they make for very compelling friends when you really sit down to think ab it, and I can for sure get behind them as a real ship

Suddenly I need to go looking for fics with them as a pairing, I might come back and actually write something for them as a ship later

What's their ship name btw? I honestly don't know

[loonarii]

MADE IN KOREA: EP. 1 (my thoughts on the tv show for that british kpop bg sm decided to do for some unknown reason)

So if you didn't hear, SM Entertainment is the latest kpop company to dip their toes into the concept of a western kpop group - we had VCHA from JYP and their show A2K, KATSEYE from HYBE with their show Dream Academy (and I believe upcoming Netflix docu-series?), and now we have 'Dear Alice' from SM with the show 'Made In Korea: The K-Pop Experience'. Unlike the previous two groups, Dear Alice is a boy group, and are specifically all British, whereas the girls of VCHA and KATSEYE are from all over the world. As your local british kpop stan with access to BBC iPlayer (where this show is streaming) I decided to watch and drop my thoughts on the show and see if its any good, basically.

Right off the bat, the pitch to SM was clearly: 'we will make you a new One Direction' - like you can easily pick out of the lineup who is supposed to be Harry and Zayn and so on. It's not a stupid idea because after South Korea, the UK is probably the biggest exporter of music groups beloved internationally, but I doubt whether kpop stans will take to this well. At least they are promoting this on the BBC, directly to the UK, which is presumably their target audience.

They keep calling this whole thing an 'experiment' which it obviously is, but the higher ups at SM seems to be very on edge about the whole thing - after the groups first performance to Heejun (the director basically) she called a fucking emergency meeting with the SM team and the british producers - there generally seems to be a lack of confidence in the success of the group.

In the beginning of the episode they briefly mention (but for the most part gloss over) the audition process for this show, claiming they chose the five boys for their talents in singing and dance. Throughout the episode though it becomes apparently clear though that they (in the nicest way possible) don't really hold a candle to the debuted idols from SM. The whole show is based on this 'make a british kpop group in 100 days' gimmick, but the truth of the matter is you need a lot more than 100 days to become idol level good at dancing and singing - most idols train for 2 years minimum, some upwards of 6. I have no idea why they didn't choose boys with more preexisting skill in the audition process, or just give them longer to train - perhaps there could've been a bootcamp for a month before the going to korea bit to build basic skills - none of the 5 seem to be overly familiar with the kpop industry and it seems that pretty much all of their context as to what is expected of an idol is drawn from the SMTOWN concert they attended before their training began. They came off as quite unprepared, and Heejun's harsh comments to them in their evaluation clearly came as bit of a surprise to them. It is only episode one though, so i think if anything, now they know the level they are supposed to be at.

All of them apparently have a background in theatre or dance in some capacity (one of them is a tiktoker... ok) but only Dexter and maybe Reese struck me as having much aptitude for kpop dancing, but again it is only episode one so I'll cut them a little bit of slack. They struggled a lot with coordination and accuracy, but from my perspective as a dancer myself and kpop stan, the dance they learned to their song 'Feel the Vibe' (we will get to that don't worry lol) was not what I would call hugely difficult?? the members other than Dexter lacked a lot of fluidity but none of them were awful and I think with a lot more training they could be quite good. Olly seemed to struggle a lot with the dance, and there was some chatter from the producers that members could be cut, and if I had to guess anyone right now to be dropped (momentarily, I'm assuming anyone they kick is going to pull a Momo and be brought back) it would be him.

The song 'feel the vibe' is like.. what you would get if you asked an AI to spit out a 'boy group song' - it has a little bit of RIIZE energy so I wouldn't be surprised if this was an abandoned demo of theirs, but it also feels a little kidz bop? lmao? It's fine basically, not very exciting but not totally unlistenable. My main concern is that its quite a high song especially in the chorus, and the boys seem to struggle to hit the notes. Giving them a song that is out of almost all of their ranges is kind of setting them up to fail especially when they had a week only to learn it. Their poor vocal performance also explains why Heejun was so unconfident in this groups success - SM is is the kpop company known for its vocalists, being able to sing like Ningning or Taeyeon may not be necessary to succeed and debut in other big companies, but in SM vocals are crucial. Again they did only have a week, so at the very least potential is there.

They did a lot of b-roll content of them seeing the sights of Seoul, they did a gangnam style bit (god help me) met with Shindong (...), met RIIZE and TEN of WayV etc etc which was cool i guess - i hope this is a mainstay in the series and not just an introductory element.

Overall the show is not boring by any means, if a little cringey at times, my only concern is that the group that will emerge on the other side will not be up to par? I guess we will see.

[placegrenette]

On 5Miinust (+ Puuluup) and the pleasures of sticking idol pop where it (supposedly) doesn't belong.

I haven't been around much lately, y'all. Partly because my dudes have also not been around much, although ZaQ continues to post a series of videos on the ARTJAQ channel, teaching the audience about... something. I continue, in turn, to not understand Kazakh. Throw in increasing disillusionment with K-pop (I guess now we know why GFriend was so abruptly shitcanned, though the knowledge doesn't make me feel any better), a general post-October-7th discomfort with most online pop-music discussion spaces, and work to get done at home, and Tumblr just hasn't been a particularly rewarding place for me lately.

I didn't think Eurovision was going to be a rewarding place for me this year, either. And then Eesti Laul happened.

It's like some divine imp was watching and saying to themself, "You know what Jessica needs? A pop-rap group from a former Soviet colony whose members love video games and refuse to take themselves seriously and release lots of goofy content that sorely lacks English subtitles. No, another one."

To clarify: the description in the previous paragraph only refers to four of the six people making up Estonia's Eurovision entry this year. The two guys in the clip with talharpas are the respected "zombie-folk" duo Puuluup, who play world music festivals and draw their own album covers and seem like a very fun and intelligent duo. They somehow have fallen into league with 5Miinust, a four-member (previously five) group that has been around since the mid-2010s. To the best of my knowledge 5Miinust have never been accused of being Satanic and/or gay like Ninety One have, but they are either a party group, a hip-hop group, a boy band, a bunch of frat bros (see this album cover), or a very savvy business collective whose members include a former advertising specialist and a trained accountant. Or, most likely, all of the above at once.

The 5Miinust / Puuluup collaboration by itself is charming enough, and if you want to know more about how it came to pass, I direct you to Overthinking It's very good video on Estonia's entry. And "Nendest Something Something," as @sole-cuore-amore-e-droga calls it, is the best kind of fun: chaotic at first listen, carefully constructed subsequently. I don't expect it to do well in Malmö. (I think "Europapa," which is also a seemingly chaotic song that turns out to have a lot more going on than its bouncy surface would first indicate, will win overall.) And I don't really care. I'm not sure 5Miinust and Puuluup care a huge amount about the scoreboard either. They've already recorded a full album together; they seem to be having a good time making silly videos for social media. They'd be my winners even without the added bonus, which is that these guys are absolutely giving idol-pop goodness.

I mean: go watch that Eesti Laul performance again. With the exception of the bridge, each performer gets his own solo time, a classic idol-pop move. There's choreo! And the styling: everyone shirtless under a suit jacket, but each suit jacket tailored slightly differently—that is such an idol-pop live-performance look. I cannot be the only person who clocked that Korea's suit is cut the same way as Nine's for "libidO" live stages, just more conservatively.

And the deeper you get into the 5Miinust rabbit hole, the more idol-pop-esque goofiness you find. Drag performances? Yep. Live radio performances with gimmicks? Here they are stripping to "Vamos." Super-dramatic award-show performances with loads of backup dancers? Here they are at last year's Estonian Music Awards. Do you need to learn the point dance? 5Miinust and Puuluup will combine forces to teach you the point dance.

And yet, talking about either (and both) of these groups as idols is a gloriously stupid idea, because "idol pop" suggests a willingness to subjugate themselves to audience demands that neither 5Miinust or Puuluup, for all their combined marketing skill, have. Idol pop historically depends on hierarchies—performers deferring to management, and, in a different way, to their audience—and that's not how 5Miinust or Puulup work. When I wrote up a guide to who's who for /r/eurovision, I said that Päevakoer is 5Miinust's maknae, and it was a joke because I'm pretty confident no one within 5Miinust has ever cared for one second who's older and who's younger. Just the fact that two different groups with a decade between them found creative inspiration in happily treating each other as equals gives the lie to the idol-pop framing. Nobody's bowing to Marko and Ramo. The whole idea is so far from how these particular performers relate to each other as to be nonsensical.

Which means: idol-pop goodness without stifling hierarchies; idol-pop goodness by people in charge of their own careers, who post goofiness on their own terms; idol-pop goodness combined with musical experimentation born of mutual respect. YES. YES. SIGN ME THE HELL UP.

(If it doesn't go without saying at this point, I would give a lot for my new faves to somehow meet my existing faves. Ninety One might not have enough English comprehension to make the meeting work, though. I think 5Miinust's ex-member Gameboy Tetris might speak Russian; whether he wants to speak Russian would be another story.)

I got lucky, and found people also willing to enjoy the 5Miinust-and-Puuluup-as-idols ironic glee. @sole-cuore-amore-e-droga really kicked things off by making that awesome lyrics video, and from there we got a line distribution video and a logo design for our fandom (Estoners) and photocards and a fanchant and a lightstick design and a "Gangnam Style" mashup and chibi art and then more chibi art. It has been one of the highlights of my past month, being able to giggle unreservedly with strangers. I haven't been able to do that in a long time.

Eurovision happens in two weeks, and then there will inevitably be a dropoff in activity, no matter where "(nendest)..." places. Without the Eurovision framework (and the English-language content that comes with it) I suspect most Estoners will move on. I'm still going to play the album, though, and keep an eye on these guys. Any chance to expand idol pop into more humane spaces, I'm going to take, no matter how silly it seems.

[davekat-sucks]

So I was listening to Doctor on loop yesterday, as my autism oft commands me to do, and I think I had something of an epiphany in regards to what I like and don't about this stupid-ass webcomic which consumes my brain every once in a while.

I think the reason I like the first 5 Acts and am decidedly mixed on the last 2 (bar the very beginning of Act 6 where the Alpha Kids get introduced and their relationships are set up) is that, IMO, as it went on things stopped being about Sburb and the game itself??? If that makes any sense.

And even then, I kinda prefer Acts 1-4 to Act 5, as Act 5 began the cast bloat that became real bad midway into Act 6 with the A1 Trolls. Also Murderstuck, but that's a whole other writing hang-up I have involving character deaths, which HS both does and doesn't fall victim too.

Also, I think I know why I like most of the Pesterquest Sprites bar Terezi, Jane, and Roxy's. And just to preface, no, it's not that the former two are on the heavier side. Please, I am too IRL, but that's not the reason.

Okay fine, it's *kind of* the reason in Jane's case, but I digress.

In Jane's case, and this is also kinda the case for Roxy, I kinda feel as if she doesn't... mesh as well with the other Kids, if that makes sense. Like the actual way she's drawn and the shading and all. Also making her chubby when one of her main interests is baking smacks vaguely of stereotyping, and I'm not particularly a fan of it.

For Roxy, my main issue is that I feel the amount of detail, again, doesn't make her mesh with the others. Like, I feel she looks... oh god, I am going to get hate for this, aren't I?... Too definitively black??? Is that even a thing? Like the other kids are ambiguous, keeping with Hussie's BS about that being the case and not all the kids being white like is all but explicit in the comic itself. And Roxy isn't.

Terezi being heavyset I don't like because of her overly acrobatic fighting style. Yeah that's about it. I wouldn't mind it otherwise, but here we are.

I do like Vriska's sprites though. I think the way they're styled fit her personality and how she is. Her writing on the other hand...

(In particular the "You see a girl who did nothing wrong" bit. which. I'm sorry, but No. You can't say that while Sollux, Terezi, Tavros, and Aradia (at the least!) still have their canon backstories)

Oh right this blogs gimmick.... Uh, fuckin...

Aromantic-Asexual Karkat is better than DaveKat.

There. Plus as an Aspec guy myself, I kinda think it would be funny if the guy all about relationships didn't feel that kind of attraction. Irony, I guess.

Aromantic-Asexual Karkat is better than DaveKat.

[gaykarstaagforever]

I've never liked James Bond movies, other than like two of the Pierce Brosnan ones, and only now because of nostalgia. They're boring when chases aren't happening and too long and his gadgets are unjustifiably impossible and the villains are idiots with stupid schemes, and no one ever just shoots the bastard, leaving him to constantly get out of situations by deus ex machina or blind luck. I don't know what people want from these movies, what makes the "good" ones good or the "bad" ones bad, or why anyone is invested in any of this.

That said, I just watched what is, to me now, the one genuinely good Bond movie: 1973's Live and Let Die.

Bond fights a technologically-advanced drug-dealing voodoo pimp / Caribbean island dictaror, whose evil plan involves giving away a billion dollars of heroin for free. And this plan also involves him somehow successfully killing like 4 secret agents, plus, oh yeah, voodoo and tarot magicks are probably actually real?

This feels like white people mistakenly deciding they know enough about Black people in 1973 to make a movie about their world, and it is exactly as problematic and insane as you'd expect. And I loved every minute of it.

Such gleeful stupidity, done with such a straight face, is a beauty to behold. There is also a 10 minute sequence that is just Smokey and the Bandit, complete with a fat racist idiot Southern sheriff and incompetant Louisiana state police, who get their cars completely destroyed in slapstick comedy wrecks where people crash off ramps into bogs but no one ever gets hurt.

...Except this came out 5 years before Smokey and the Bandit, and maybe the same weekend as the similar White Lightning, so I have no idea who was stealing what from whom. I guess 1973 was just the year to start making fun of Southern law enforcement with funny car accidents.

I'm not complaining. I love this crap. It's just such a specific thing for multiple creatives to seize on at exactly the same moment. I suppose art, like voodoo, is endlessly mysterious.

I got the impression this movie is a critical pariah and was a flop, but neither is true. It made tons of money, and while people in general didn't and don't like Roger Moore as Bond, it seems most people enjoyed the frenetic weirdness going on here.

This was Moore replacing Connery, who set the iconic 1960s Bond bar. Like, hostility to anything new and different was inevitable. I don't feel strongly about Connery's Bond either way, because a lot of those movies are impossibly slow and his charm doesn't redeem them. So I like Moore here. He seems like he's still figuring out how to do the character his way, but that is also inevitable. But he's drool and wry and unflappable, and any lack of charm is fine, considering the movie is far more about jumping from one ridiculous situation to another at a break-neck pace. Bond is really just along for the kooky ride, and Moore manages that.

I love the cars and the costumes. This is peak early 70s, so everything is big and bright primary colors, from the cars to the collars and neckties, to the platform shoes and afro wigs. All the suits have vests. VESTS! The villain dresses his henchmen in bright bluejeans with scarlet polo shirts tucked in. They look like Target associates went rogue. It's beautiful.

Any more analysis of the plot than I've already offered is pointless, because this is a Bond movie. So even at peak wannabe-Blaxploitation goofiness, he's still boldly walking into obvious traps, inappropriately trying to trick certainly-evil women into sleeping with him, and solving every problem with a gimmick watch and desperate flailing that somehow knocks people out.

I don't know why anyone bothers setting elaborate traps for him. Just send a guy to pick him up. He'll know exactly that you've done that and get in the car anyway. That happens twice in this movie! And the same guy is driving!

The watch in this one has an industrial-strength magnet in it, and also the face spins and acts like a tiny buzzsaw. And, fine. That's the right kind of stupid. But how the hell does all that work on tiny watch batteries? I can't forget about that, which is why Bond movies aren't for me. And it makes Bond look bad, because anyone with that watch could probably do exactly what he does. ...Except probably the thing where he uses the magnet to undo the zipper on a woman's dress. That's very specifically a Bond thing, the cheeky predator.

But he's not the only incompetent gadabout, here. Most of the story takes place in the US, and he's working with the CIA. And they are AT LEAST as bad at everything as he is. But they don't have magic watches, so I guess that's why they keep getting stabbed, and poisoned by voodoo snakes, and have to call him in, to do whatever the hell this is:

Jane Seymour is also here. She is a possibly biracial? tarot witch who has virgin powers, and is owned by the Black villain. She gets manhandled and molested all the time, especially by Bond, and his deflowering of her is a major plot point.

As I said before, there are some problematic things going on here.

But the whole affair is so earnestly cheesy and high-energy that it's hard to find fault. They were going for schlock, and they schlocked it. James gets cornered by a hundred people doing a deadly swamp voodoo ritual that involves human sacrifice and a magic robot, and after some of them charge him with machetes, he responds by blindly firing into the crowd and murdering a bunch of them. This culminates with him getting captured by the villain for like the third time, and the guy acts like all this was just part of his plan.

Then Bond wrestles with him a little near a shark tank, but kills him with a Looney Tunes device. 1960s Batman showed more restraint than this. The Austin Powers movies barely referenced this one, because it is already a parody of spy movies. It is a thing of messy, stupid brilliance.

If you don't like Bond movies, this is the Bond movie for you. Everyone can get a laugh out of this, even if they're only laughing at it.

(Also the theme is the best Bond theme ever, but everyone already knows that. It opens the movie with naked women dancing around flaming skulls. That alone probably makes it the best Bond movie.)

[thebananwithaplan]

It wasn't long after that the show just wrapped up the last round for the day. Seeing the audience attendance dwindle due to their fears meant they couldn't do as many recordings as they normally would in a day, which was not what Banana was used to (for the rest of the staff, it was both a relief and a concern.)

The good thing about being in the Hollywood industry and already feeling like eyes are constantly on him and his actions for long enough is knowing how to act the way the audience want him to. Can't show fear, can't show regret , can't show that the stress of recent thoughts and events was getting to him, either. Showbiz, amirite? Stupid Fake Noise making his audience be wary of gameshows with toon-heavy gimmicks, juice blenders, and the feeling of constantly being watched...

"Well. It's better than no-shows for no shows. I better go find Dandie and the boys to head back home, then-"

The sound of the gameshow stage's main doors abruptly opening took him out of his thoughts.

What's that big red blur heading his way? Apple-?

@scriptdeviant asked:

Pepperman BURSTS through the studio, in typical Pepperman fashion, skidding to a stop before the Dancing Banana. Is. Is he even aware of the happenings right now? Before there's even time to question him, the pepper gave a dramatic bow - With glittering teeth included. My GOD. He isn't aware, is he? Once opened, the letter of recommendation would read: "Don't change your expression or react strongly when you read this. Don't say anything about this message, and don't tell anyone where you're going. Any of the camera feeds I have set up are now his. I've thought this through, and you're the only one that can reach me without being spotted. See me as soon as possible. Attached are the coordinates. Oh! And offer the pepper a job painting something, I guess. -PH." ❝ I keep my portfolio on me at all times, if it helps. ❞ He continued to grin. Just as instructed, he hadn't peeked. Blissfully unaware of the letter's actual contents...

...Oh. Nope. Just another pompous pepper.

DB couldn't even get a word in before being given the envelope. A 'letter of recommendation'? He was surprised anybody was still willing to ask for work with the way things are at.

"Well, well, well. Let's see what we have, here." Eh, what the heck, he'll see what it had to say. Would be rude to send him off without at least giving it a quick read...

..............

.............. And boy, was he right on the mark with his earlier instinct on this one.

Remember when we said at the top of this post that the Dancing Banana was really good at acting? Well, here comes another example of that.

"...Hmm. We could use some much needed Artistic Integrity." Wasting no time to place that letter in his Hammerspace Inventory, DB gave Pepperman the good ol' 'CEO-Approved Handshake'.

"Tell you what - we are kinda closing up shop for the day, but I can assure ya that the next time I need a paint job done, you'll be the first I'll go to ask. I can also assure ya that any of your work done for Shovelware Studios property will be credited in full and paid accordingly. How's that sound?"

At least he finally has somewhere to work with.

The question now is WHEN to do so.

[syrupspinner]

i just beat the messenger

there's a joke about shooting the messenger in there somewhere

so this is one of those games with a very specific thought process. let's add a unique and enticing gimmick, but make it a surprise reveal! I always thought this was a bit silly. like, if you're a fan of horror, then you have no reason to play doki doki literature club, because it's just a normal dating sim. but if you do know it's a horror game, then you just had half the game ruined for you, because so much of the presentation and writing and atmosphere and... EVERYTHING is done with the intention that you're going in blind. it's a weird conundrum between trying to market the thing that makes your game stand out and trying to maintain a cool subversive reveal.

the messenger has that in two parts. the first reveal is the time travel gimmick. you start off in an 8bit ninja gaiden-like platformer, and eventually upgrade into a 16bit ninja gaiden-like platformer, complete with world swapping puzzles. yeah, I love world swapping puzzles! link between worlds was my shit back on 3ds

the second part is that the game has a minor genre shift, going from a straightforward platformer to... a nonlinear platformer. I know that all the advertising says a metroidvania, and you can call me a genre snob for this, but I'm not sure if it really counts. sure there's some overlap, like the hub area, but like... you unlock all your cool new movement abilities during the platforming bit, so once the "metroidvania" part starts you don't unlock any new abilities, which is kinda stupid to say out loud. that's like saying you're playing as a roguelike without random generation, I think we lost the plot here.

don't get me wrong, just because it's not a metroidvania doesn't mean it's not fun. act 1 (the platformer) is already a fantastic retro platformer, reasonable difficulty that's juuuuust tough enough to keep you engaged without making you feel like you're being asked for too much, great controls and a good kit that gels with the level design really well, it's good shit. I don't play a lot of retro platformers, so I dunno if saying it's one of the best I've played holds much weight, but damn

act 2 (the not-metroidvania) is also fun! like I said, slut for world swaps. I'm VERY lucky that I was saving up my currency (gems?) so I could get all the map upgrades at once, I would have a very unfun time fumbling for all the collectables without the sparkles. there's also the prerequisite of backtracking through earlier areas, but I think the hub teleporters being in unique spots and the time travel make it more fun that it would've been

WAIT. RED ALERT. so as a peak behind the curtain, I usually write these as I play. maybe not the most professional form, but it helps me collect my feeling in the moment so I don't forget shit. I played like an hour and a half of act two, getting those green coin things and even got a few music notes, the one from the colosusses which was just a world swap puzzle and the yellow one that was just a platforming challenge. also, the fact that I could traverse what I thought was the whole world with my normal moveset made me complacent. but uh. I just got the Lightfoot tabi and I can now walk on water. so never fucking mind I guess! this is a certified metroidvania

ironically, I think the game is at its best with the linear design. when the game opens up, there are a lot of points that feel... easy to lose. there isn't that feeling of exploring for cool new movement tech, feeling your character get objectively more skilled and having that reflected in the map. there are spots like that, like the seashell and the candle. but just as much is like, talking to someone and then being like "don't worry I'll do the thing" and then they do the thing and you get a macguffin, which is much less satisfying in my opinion. like, there's the big where you have to go to an out-of-the-way spot to talk to a monk, and she just opens a path for you in another location. it's fine to have a progression system that isn't based on movement, but the genre shift makes it feel less... impactful. it feels like the game is caught between being a tradplat and a metroidvania, and suffers from trying to fit into both molds at once

so all in all, it's not a perfect 10/10, but it's still a great game that is absolutely worth your time. personally, I'd love to check out a full retro platformer from this team without the mid-game shift, something in the vein of Primal Light

also, there's this whole wrap-around thing when act 2 begins, where Manfred takes you so far east you wrap around west. then it's revealed that you're part of a time cycle thing, but... is Manfred part of it too, or is it like a different dragon every time? and if there's been a bunch of messangers before me, how come my village is still standing? and if the implication is that Manfred flew us around the literal whole world, like... why? why not just... oh fuck it it's not that important

[madbox91]

Today, I caused chaos on Twitter and Mobox and friends didn't like it lol Part 3

I went all out with my new account.

This is where the "chaos" began. I went all out. I didn't think or care on wtf I was saying or did (as you can see in some of the tweets, there's a lot of misspellings because I was just speed running them). It was just slander. Some of the things I said were very ridiculous, most were just saying shit to mobox instead of Nikolai, and only like 2 or 3 tweets were logical and not just ridiculous shit. I was making fucking so much slander that it felt I was running through a field of flowers lol. Of course I'm joking around about that but god damn it, it felt so just entertaining to just constantly tweeting non stop. It was so ridiculous. First Nikolai blocked me instantly and later mobox followed. I have done it. I got what I wanted once again. I was so over joy and also just shocked to see a huge amount of tweets I have made. Seeing them be the first thing you see when you search up "mobox87" on Twitter is so funny to me. Also it's another common L on mobox because thanks to her new attention to me, she is making herself look more bad on Twitter than she already is. Like my tweets has never gotten into huge numbers of views before this happened. The only reason why I made that gimmick account is to fool and get more stupid people into not liking mobox87. I mean it's mobox's fault for me to get a chance at spreading pretty ridiculous misinformation about her to a somewhat shit ton of people to witness it. Remember I didn't got some much attention and attraction from people before this happened and so mobox was just helping me out with this goal in mind. I mean hundreds of people viewing my tweets doesn't seem like a lot but to me it's a big deal for me since I only get like 7 or 10 views out of my tweets so yeah, thanks mobox. I truly think people would believe the shit from my mobox gimmick because nowadays people are fucking stupid. I'm fully convinced that's the case and especially the case for the small and not that popular mobox and mobox related community. Making people have a reaction out of my bullshit has been one of my goals. Especially delusional people with insecurities who try to defend themselves from the shit I say. At the end of the day, bad publicity is good publicity for me if my goals can be reached from it. I want to be mobox's very own inconvenience as possible and also getting a reaction out of it. that is what has happened here

Man such a mobox-like response. Seeing this makes me smile. Like I did that. I'm now part of mobox's ops. She treating me like I'm some kind of villain in her poorly written comics about sexual abuse. Exaggerating everything to make things look more bad than they seem. Huh making people look more bad now huh? I wonder who else is doing the same thin- IT'S ME! Maybe I was right, I am the real mobox87 after all. Btw not the first time mobox has done something like this but I guess she doesn't like it when someone else is doing the same thing to her, especially if that someone is actually kinda speaking facts with their gimmick account that tends to joke and poke fun about her and her wrong doings and now getting attraction. "Oh It's very hard for me to start conversations blah blah blah I don't talk like this 🙁", OF COURSE YOU DON'T FUCKING TALK LIKE THIS 💀

This is why I'm fully convinced that people are fucking stupid here. Like honestly I don't fucking get how people would get fooled by this. Like it's so fucking obvious. Like why bothered making an awareness posts about me? Maybe it isn't about the people, maybe she really wants me to be taken down because I have bothered her or maybe hurt her feelings in some way? Have I caused harm to anyone like Nikolai or something? I have become such a bad inconvenience and problem to her that it's enough for her to make post about me and criminalize me to stop me? Am I really such a bad problem to her now? If that's the case then I have won. Of course she would've done this just for the sake of spreading awareness but still it doesn't make sense to me because I really wasn't getting many attraction to my posts that is worthy enough to get a awareness posts about me. Like literally no one saw them. Is it because to protect her image on the internet or something? Idk pretty uncertain but still see it as a win either way. I guess people really are stupid enough to believe that mobox said, "let me rub my smile and unmatched coolness on your face like a fucking load of cum". If so then who??? You?

[boy-above]

tagged by @vespertin-y to share three random facts abt myself sooo

1.) i have a big phobia of lakes or just dirty water in general, and submechanophobia, i can't stand looking at like cars submerged in water. i don't seem to have the same fear of the ocean, for example i would never swim in a lake and i'd probs have a panic attack if i fell in one, but i went to the beach for the first time in my life a couple years ago and i got in the ocean just fine. i didn't go very far out bc i was afraid i'd get pulled in, im very small you see and i can't really swim, but i enjoyed it and my friend got seaweed for me to touch ajdjf. despite not being afraid of seawater i do Not like boats and wouldn't get on one on the sea or in a lake. i'd probs feel Better about being on a boat in the sea but the feeling of being in a boat in general feels Wrong to me, like my primal monkey brain is like "humans shouldn't be able to float above water like this".

2.) i have very repetitive stress dreams every night of my life, i don't think i've ever had a Good dream before and im not joking. usually the mundane stuff like being back in high school and not knowing where my classes are or my locker combination etc (which is wild bc that's never something i actually needed to worry about in high school, like i never once forgot things like that). also losing my phone or having it stolen seems to be a theme lately as well. HOWEVER when a dream isn't mundane, i manage to have REALLY weird dreams. the first nightmare i ever remember having was when i was like three years old and i dreamed a tree was chasing me. like a legit tree. i never saw it walk, it would just move when i wasn't looking and would be closer when i looked back. i ran home and still have the vivid memory of slamming my front door and looking behind me to the window where the tree was "looking" inside at me. it didn't have eyes or anything im just assuming it must have been looking at me lmao. anyway i was Terrified of this tree but hindsight that's literally so funny. a tree. also had a dream where my trash bag climbed into bed with me. and one where it was "emu hunting season" in my neighborhood and everyone was hunting emus. i probs don't have to clarify that there aren't emus anywhere near my midwestern city.

2.5.) interesting combination of the first two facts, which is why this is a bonus fact™️. i realized a recurring aspect of my dreams is something highly specific to me and not normal. i didn't realize this from conversations with people or anything i just suddenly was like "oh that's actually very weird and specific to my particular phobias". the aspect in question being that in multiple dreams over several years there's been partially submerged roller coasters in my dreams. like the roller coaster is like 1/4 submerged in a dirty lake and i either just see it and am like "eugh" or i'm actually forced to ride it and have to deal with the horror of both the anticipation of the dirty water part plus the actual contact with the dirty water. i'm not afraid of roller coasters or anything i guess my brain just found a way to tap into my submechanophobia. very weird brain thing that sounds very stupid and it is ajdjr

3.) on a lighter note, i have five genshin impact accounts, although i don't use two of them anymore. i have my main account, an anemo only account, and a new gimmick account that is a secret. my other accounts were just a replay account to experience exploration again, and one that i was gonna call carrot run where i only used xingqiu. i might still end up playing on that one again eventually given that i have xingxiu and sac sword on that account already in very early game with was lucky 4 me.

this was longer than i thought it would be i just decided i like talking about myself apparently LMAO

i don't rly have anyone to tag bc i'm afraid of bothering ppl so AJDHDHFH will leave off the post here

[otakween]

Digimon 02: D1 Tamers - Final Thoughts

Woohoo! I beat the Ryo trilogy :D -pops a party popper-

I didn't feel the need to make this multiple posts because this game is verrry similar to the last one (Tag Tamers). The main difference is that it's in glorious color! They also added a couple new features for better or for worse.

This game was fun and addicting just like the other two. There was just a little more grinding than I would hope for. The entire game took me 3 weeks to get through because of that. (Still not too shabby). Full thoughts below the cut.

Notes:

-The plot of this one felt kind of weird and forced. Firstly, I immediately got kind of confused about the chronology because the last game ended with Ken becoming the Digimon Emperor yet he's back to normal in this one. I guess either he hasn't progressed too much yet (it's only been a few days) or this is his IRL façade since we don't see him in the digi world. Anyways, the main plot is that Ryo has to fight in a tournament and if he wins said tournament then he'll become a soldier for the ~Harmonious Ones~ against Moon Millennium. I'm honestly not sure why the digi-Gods were included in this. They added nothing.

-Speaking of the Harmonious Ones, they ask you to pick one at the beginning of the game. I picked Qinglongmon because he was the only one I recognized lol. I'm not sure what the point of this choice was other than the fact that he shows up and says a couple things towards the end.

-Ken gets reduced to a guy-in-the-chair, but a very useful guy in the chair! I found the d-terminal way more handy this time around when it came to figuring out digivolution. Ken tells you exactly how many JP (Jogress points) you need to reach the next level. Honestly, it was a relief not having to tag team in this one too, that was kind of an annoying gimmick.

-Although jogress was still annoying in this game, they thankfully added an item that allows you to add +5 JPs to your digimon which made it so much easier to get some megas on my team. Also, digivolution and skills just felt more intuitive and happened faster this time around which is appreciated.

-I think they realized how OP stun was and nerfed it a bit. It's still a good feeling to win by stunning all the enemy digimon, but stun misses like 60% of the time, so you just waste your turn a lot of the time.

-Playing this right after Tag Tamers was pretty magical because I went from black and white to color (a Wizard of Oz moment). Although the inside of the dungeons were still very repetitive, the outsides were beautiful! (Showcasing some of my faves above).

-One stupid addition that made me mad was the D1 Tournament. This is a Digimon World-style AI vs. AI tournament where you just stare at the screen and hope your digimon win. It was just a slog to get through and I just wanted to get back to the dungeons. I really can't see the appeal in that sort of "gameplay." In fact, I fast forwarded or got up for a snack whenever it got to that part.

-Another lame part about this game is that you can't buy multiple items at once anymore! You could do it in Tag Tamers so why did they go backwards!? You seriously have to buy one item at a time. How dumb.

-I'm pretty proud of my final team: Metal Greymon, King Etemon, and AeroVeedramon. Metal Greymon had poison and curse, King Etemon had stun and AeroVeedramon had the best all-enemies attack. I could of gotten AeroVeedramon to mega as well, but I realized I didn't need to to win and it would have taken another few hours.

-There was a bit more variety in the dungeons compared to Tag Tamers. They all looked the same, but a lot of them had a gimmick. Some of them had puzzles or various ways you were supposed to interact with the bosses to progress. I'm glad they mixed things up a bit since the last game was really straightforward.

-Pretty hilarious that this game ends all ominously by being like "~And then we never saw Ryo again~" but then you hit the new game plus and Gennai's like "Ah, if it isn't Ryo!" Like, clearly the new game plus bit isn't part of the canon storyline, but it still made me chuckle.

-Apparently the only thing to do in new game plus is just continue raising digimon which...no thanks.

-I've heard that this acts as a prequel to Digimon Tamers which is so exciting! I'm glad that I'm doing things in the proper order. One more game (kinda-sorta?) and then I finally get to move on from Adventure 01/02 ;w;

[pizzasloth82]

It’s late

I feel pretty great. Even though this isn’t a fancy post where I talk about what I’m going to do or some silly gimmick where I try to be interesting, it makes me feel good to know that I said something on the internet. Someone’s gonna see this and probably think

This is very long and wordy, I’m not reading this.

This isn’t a funny picture, video, or long post to laugh at.

I’m not spending my time reading this.

Blah blah blah blah scroll.

Not very interesting.

One of those…probably.

I just tried shaking my phone so hard and long (I don’t find that funny, but if you did then kool I guess {I’m not saying your humor isn’t funny, I just never could find that funny <i hope im not boring or anything> } ), just so I can undo what I deleted, but I couldn’t. So now im back typing what took me 10 minutes to think about and edit. Now it’s going to be half assed and stupid (at least I would think so)

If you stuck around this long, you can skip ahead to the green text. Maybe you can give someone else’s long rant or post a chance. Just read through it. Maybe even comment on it. I don’t like commenting because unlike people who comment mean things, I actually keep in mind that there’s another person on the other side. Don’t forget someone exists on the other side of the screen when you comment something. I’m not trying to tell you to not comment something mean. If you do comment something mean, I’ll probably still just keep posting stuff anyway and try not let it affect me (I’ll probably be thinking about it a lot).

Commenting really isn’t my thing.

I have nothing to say.

I don’t care.

I prefer to scroll and like.

I KNOW RIGHT ME TOO!!! If I had something to say all the time or maybe even just had a thought, I’d do it. I would have to do it without thinking though because all I think about is if I even said it correctly or whatever.

I actually comment.

Then comment….

I forgot what was the thing I spent like a lot of time typing and editing. It went something like, “I don’t like being personal, but I know that people do that most of the time online (because people like finding out about other people’s personal lives duh). I’m going to finally say something really personal so I hope this doesn’t hurt my username image.

I’m super sad that i was broken up with

I’m super sad that I didn’t go to sleep early. I was actually trying to go to sleep at 10:30 🕥, but stuff happens and I just can’t go to sleep. I also actually couldn’t because I keep coughing.

My goodness, trying to find a relevant gif actually sucks, but this gif is so fucjdh funny. If it was sped up, it’d make me laugh more.

Anyway, [Title]. I’m going to try to sleep.

wroughtindirt, japtrash, and stillhopingforbetterdays. If u see this, comment, like, and subscribe plz

[elaborateheists]

Creative-person-trying-to-make-a-living thoughts dump.

I am always so torn because I don't want my stupid full time job, I want to run my business full time, and i have learned a lot about business and I think I could do it, but sometimes I feel like my products aren't right? Or I'm focusing on the wrong things. Or I should just focus on like ONE type of thing that is useful to people and *solves a problem* and that will carry me.

BUT I like making all the things I make and learning to make new things and thats what makes me happiest. I also know if I ever want to scale, if I even have the opportunity, that I'll have to outsource manufacturing and that's okay I guess and something for the future.

And I'm in a niche where individual items are cheap so I basically need to do wholesale to make real money and it is so discouraging and awful and I guess I need to *network* or have connections or have some kind of gimmick to make stores more interested in buying from and promoting me.

I think my art is special and unique (ish) and I'm just trying to hang on until I find more people who appreciate it. But right now I'm spending a lot of money on new stuff for my upcoming shop update, even doing it as cheaply as I can, and im like shit is this even worth it

Also there's the neverending dilemma of, I don't have enough time to put into my art career because of my job, so how do I know whether I could make it or not? Aghhhhegehd. I really want to try and do more illustration jobs but I just don't have time for that.

Also sometimes Im like, "I used to watch more tv" or stuff like that and I wonder if it's because I'm so focused on my business now? I don't usually work on it in the evenings but still. But also it's something I'm super passionate about and driven to work on! So is that okay or not??

Capitalism is a nightmare lol

[itspvg]

1, 31, 41, 43, 48 for the weird asks

Thank you again for the asks! You are the best!

1 who is/are your comfort character(s)? - Eric Draven from The Crow as well as Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower Series.

Eric Darven was always a character I loved because I find myself, if I am allowed to give myself this title. A hopeless romantic at heart. And there's something about the story of loving someone so much to the point where they are taken from you and treated with such malice and contempt. That you can't rest knowing that those who would hurt someone that you loved that much has suffered. While dark, I can't help but love the character and the story. It's dark but to me it speaks to my sense of feeling toward the concept of love in a very primal way.

With Roland Deschain, it's an odd choice. But I find comfort in his character. He's a character that is developed and you travel with across 7+ books. You see him at his formative years. Right through to what the read can only assume hundreds of years later. Stedfast on a trip through the horrors and wastes for revenge. Again a character looking to avenge those he has lost. These span close friends, family and a childhood love. A man that has been so battered and broken by the harsh realities and challenges. To the point when we first find him, he's a single minded husk. A wandering lone gunslinger/knight who has one goal in mind. But along the way, he's forced to look at himself. Accept that the world is a cold harsh place and the safe home in the comfort in others is why he fights for vengence. Given the opportunity to have friends again, to become an unexpected father. He begins to find his humanity again and understand his quest. So that people don't have to feel what he felt, hurt like he's hurt. That evolution in the character I find comfort in from the stand point that it reminds me that how you start doesn't define how you end. And that you can always strive for better.

31 what type of music keeps you grounded? - These days it's hard to say. I feel like the vibe of the music and the emotion I am experiencing can have wildy big effects on me. When I am feeling sad. I need something that connects to that emotion. If I am feeling lost, music themes around the idea of self discovery cna be helpful. Thankfully as time has went on. I listen to more than just Metal and Rock. I still love these genres but sometimes I need the lyrics to speak to me directly. I need to hear the concepts even just lightly touch upon the things I am feeling at the time. There are some good artists in Metal and Rock that can do that. But then these days where it's not the right vibe. I need something with a bit of vibrancy. When I think about it. I think back to what one of my heroes in music, Marty Friedman (form Megadeth Lead Guitarist) said something that really made sense to me. He talked about when deciding the leave the band. He needed to be able to make music that spoke to him. Megadeth was Gunmetal Gray. He wanted to paint with greens, blues, oranges, purples. And that struck a chord with me as I got older. It's not the say the Gumetal gray is bad. But I needed a wider palet. And so I guess with this long winded answer. I am trying to say, what grounds me will be very much what can connect with me depending on the driving force of that emotion.

41 how do you take your coffee? - A simple one to actually answer lol. I am sure you are happy about this... Typically I like a single serving of sugar or sweetner. And lightest splash of milk/cream.

43 what’s your take on spicy foods? - I like spicy foods a lot. They have been something I have been always quite fond of growing up. But I do tend to be of the opinion that spice for the sake of spice alone is stupid. I like flavour and if the spice can emobody an interesting flavour. I love it. But you see these fucking sauce "MEGA NUKE ASS BLASTER SATAN'S TEARS WHILE APPLYING A CHEESE GRATOR TO YOUR BALLZ sauce" can get in the bin. Fucking gimmicks that just ruin a good meal.

48 when did you first try an alcohol beverage? - Oh christ, that's a story lol. First time I think I can remmeber trying a alcoholic beverage was when I got my hands on this 35cl bottle of Jack Daniels. I must of been about 15 maybe? Maybe 14. It's hard to remember... But we all had this moment where one of friends had an empty house, no folks home. So a bunch of us got together and somehow scrapped together money for alcohol. Now of course at this point I am just getting into Rock and Metal and you see all your favourite artists drinking Jack Daniels. It's in their hands in pictures and they are wearing t shirts with the logo. So you are like "Well this is what they drink and I want to be cool like them". So I manage to get this small bottle of Jack. Not understanding the difficulty mode I just decided to start on in the drinking game. I try glugging this down and of course, my small child brain ain't fucking stomaching this shit. So I get some cranberry juice from my mate. Try and mix it and get it down easier. It works. But next thing I know I have slugged the whole fucking bottle. Needless to say I am fucking absolutely Greenhoused, not able to fucking think for myself or stand an hour later. I end up sloshed against a wall at the top of my street barely keeping myself right and eventually puking into my friend's lap. He's never let me live that down, nor should he. I was an idiot....

Again I apologise for the massive answers. I dunno, I guess I am just wordy tonight but I hope that is ok and you don't hate me too much for just giving you war and peace... Again really enjoyed doing these and would encourage anyone curious to send more in!

[communistcephalopod]

fuck it, ranking all of these

#12

The filter. The make up. The "Actually... one more time". The fact that it's inspired by that weird Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland remake, down to the stupid fucking "Underland" retcon. The turning of an unrelated joke into a fandom post. The fact that it's the 8th addition to a bit that has long worn out by now. This is the epitome of classic 2010s Tumblr cringe (affectionate).

#11

12th place was kinda a toss up between this and the last one, but I figured that that one hits harder while this one's just kind of low quality. Most of the others have a decent bit of editing done while this just has the saturation turned up which just makes it look crusty, some flame pngs could have saved this. What really kills this for me though is the the font choice. Really hard to read, it looks like it says "BORN TO BE WOLD", and it just doesn't feel like it fits.

#10

This is the first of the fandom hats, which were inevitable, but I'm still not a fan of them in the face of what the joke was supposed to be. It's also the 7th hat in the post, at this point the gimmick is really starting to grow tired. You could argue that it doesn't really represent the vibes of the character that well, but that's nitpicking, and it isn't totally off.

#9

Not bad, but as the 3rd reblog (I think? The early parts of this post have somehow been fucked up by time) and the first non fedora, this is where the floodgates open and you realise exactly the kind of post you're about to witness. Everything from here on out isn't riffing off of OP's joke, it's a continuation of a thread. This post is That's Amore Guy's fault. Whether that's a compliment or an insult is up to you I guess.

#8

Captures the style it's parodying pretty well, but it fails to stand out in a sea of reblogs. Well made, but not much to comment on.

#7

Same deal as the last hat, gets a place higher mostly because it was lucky enough to be relatively early in the chain.

#6

The same joke as the original, but the rose and the shitty poetry are a nice touch. Being the 2nd reblog also helps.

#5

I know I said I'm not into the fandom additions, but the camera angle on this one is too good to write off. It would have been so easy to just throw in some coins and goombas or whatever, but the use of the Bowser plushie and the dramatic pose and the fireballs make this one genuinely pretty funny.

#4

One of the less high effort ones, but as the original it doesn't feel like it's part of the one upping contest the others are in, it's a self contained joke, and as a self contained joke it works pretty well.

#3

A solid punchline and a necessary conclusion. Successfully manages to say "alright, wrap it up, we're done here" while still somehow managing to end this hellpost on a high point.

#2

Right as the post is about to grow stale it hits us with this. One of the best edited images on the post that really captures the 2015 douchiness so perfectly. And the caption. "Shave your arm hair" next to that face is so fucking funny to me, I don't know what else to say. I just really like this one.

#1

Many of the hats on this post suffer somewhat from being late additions that come after a long stream of 2010s Tumblr cringe, but this beats out "Shave your arm hair" because of where it is. After three of the worst hats (in my opinion) in a row, this honestly saves the post. Breaking up the barrage of lol wacky 2015 humour with a 'Nam flashback is such an effective gut punch. What really makes this one though is when he takes it off. Everyone else does the same cartoonish blurry jump back while making a stupid face, that's part of what makes the post feel the way it does. He just sits there. Horrified by what he's seen. 10/10, peak cinema.

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE