#sorry to be insufferable i just love showing them off <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[andorerso]

I love that picrew so I made two of my dearest OC ships as well: Dani & Elijah

and Astoria & Leona

[asahicore]

real me, real you - psh

pairing. sunghoon x fem!reader (ft. jay... sorry)

synopsis. You’re your school’s popular pretty smart girl, but with a twist - you lead a completely different life at home, where you are messy, lazy and foul-mouthed. Only your family and best friend Sumin know about this, until Park Sunghoon, of all people, finds out. The resident cold and arrogant heartbreaker of your school decides to blackmail you into doing his biddings - but you can’t say no, not even when he asks you to be his fake girlfriend, otherwise he’ll ruin your reputation. But as you and Sunghoon get closer, you realize that maybe he’s not so bad after all, and you may be more similar than you'd originally though - all while your old childhood friend Jay watches from the sidelines.

genre. fake dating, high school au, very slight love triangle action, fluff and angst

warnings. this is the first thing i ever wrote so there may be slightly cringe and awkward things but i didn't wanna change anything lol, hoon is a meanie at some point and everything is dramatic and very fanfic-y, mild childhood trauma for both of them &lt;3

word count. 22.9k

author's note. @end-hyphen genie this one is for you... i hope you still like this fic after all this time lol ! as i said in the warnings i only changed a few typos and punctuation from the original but i decided to not make any major changes bc i think it's nice to see what my writing was like when i had just started out!! hopefully i've improved lol, also this was not inspired by true beauty!! i've never seen the show nor read the webtoon. i was inspired by two mangas called switch girl and kare kano (or his and her circumstances) which have this plot of a girl being two different people at school and at home. anyways hope u guys enjoy this and if u do pls lmk <333

Nobody was supposed to find out.

You were the most popular girl in school, known for your looks, good grades, and kind personality. You had a nice group of friends and the whole school at your feet, students and staff alike. As the student representative, you had an image to keep up and needed everyone to think you were perfect; and they did. So you always wore a smile on your face, kept your head up and made sure your uniform was creaseless, all while maintaining the highest scores in your year. Always being friendly to your peers and helping them out prevented anyone from thinking you were a stuck-up goody-two-shoes. You made high school look like a breeze.

But such a life didn’t exist. Who was happy waking up at 6 a.m. every day and dedicating all of their time to schoolwork and student life? You certainly weren’t. What you thrived off of was having everyone think you were. Hearing whispers in the corridor of, “She’s so pulled together!” or “I wish I had her life”, now, those skyrocketed you to heaven. The cherry on top was a nod of approval from a teacher or an “outstanding job again, Y/N” as they handed you back your graded paper. Your favorite color had become the red of the pens your teachers used to write A+ at the top of the page. 

You’d always been academically gifted, but as you heard those words more and more, you’d started craving them and doing everything to hear them again until they started controlling you instead of the other way around. Everything you did needed to be perfect. And that was how you had created this persona of the perfect girl who had it all together at the ripe age of 17. But that’s exactly what it was; a persona. 

As soon as you stepped off the bus and waved goodbye to your friends, you became another person. Or more accurately, you reverted back to your natural self. You weren’t an evil person by any means; it wasn’t your intention to actively deceive everyone at school, it was more of a side effect of keeping up appearances. Only your family and your closest friend Sumin knew what you were truly like: greedy, messy, short-tempered, self-centered, and sometimes downright insufferable. Your younger siblings, Sunoo and Yeeun, liked to joke that you had a button you switched on and off whenever you left the house. When on, you were the sweetest girl ever, but when off, all your vices crept up and let themselves known to the world, or rather to your family. You didn’t mean to make them suffer, but after a long day of being perfect, you needed to blow off some steam; if they had to be your metaphorical punching bag, so be it. 

When Sunoo entered high school, you made him swear he wouldn’t say a thing to anyone. You trusted him and knew he wouldn’t let your secret out - it was too entertaining for him to see you act perfect at school and reveal your true self at home. There was no risk of anyone finding out - you were so intent on keeping the act up that nothing ever slipped you. It had been that way since middle school, and your senior year of high school was going to be no different.

Nobody was supposed to find out, so what was Park Sunghoon doing right in front of you in the frozen aisle of the corner convenience store, just when you happened to be bare-faced, with thick glasses on and a pimple bright red from just having been popped, in your comfiest pajamas, and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s in hand?

“Kim Y/N? Y/N, is that you?”

You froze in place, not knowing how to react. There was no way this, your worst nightmare, was actually happening.

When you regained your senses, flight seemed the best way out of this. You avoided Sunghoon’s curious gaze and curtly replied, “No, sorry, I don’t know who that is,” before walking away, iron grip on the ice cream.

But the boy was quicker than you and grabbed you by the wrist, forcing you to turn around. “It is you! Come on, Y/N, aren’t we friends? Do you not recognize me or something?”

If it wasn’t for the panic coursing through your veins at that moment, you might’ve laughed at his question. How could you not recognize the Park Sunghoon? Along with Park Jongseong and Sim Jaeyun, or Jay and Jake as they liked to be called, he was only the most popular guy in your year - hell, in the whole school. The three of them had gained attention from freshman year as the three handsome soccer players. Jake and Sunghoon had been attached at the hip since kindergarten, Jay joining them sometime in middle school when he came back from his year abroad in Seattle. 

Your parents and Jay’s had been college best friends and you two had therefore grown up together, and even used to be quite close. You’d grown apart when he joined Jake and Sunghoon’s friend group, and although you still got on well, there was always a bit of an awkward atmosphere when you caught up with each other.

The three friends had quite different personalities but their complicity and shared history made them stick together. Jake was known for his academic achievements, rivaling yours, and his friendly personality; Jay, for his surprisingly funny antics once you got past the somewhat menacing appearance (which he blames on his resting bitch face). Sunghoon, on the other hand, was as cold as ice, so much that he’d earned the nickname of ice prince, but girls continued to swoon over him due to his incredibly handsome features. When turning down girls, Jake and Jay always tried to let them down gently, but Sunghoon wasn’t one to hold back: he’d laugh in their face or straight up say no, staring them right in the eyes. Most confessions ended in tears (not his, obviously), but girls kept on testing their luck, thinking they might be the one to melt the ice prince’s cold, dead heart.

Clearly, you weren’t Sunghoon’s biggest fan.

His behavior had always made you wonder why Jay and Jake were friends with a person like him. They went back a long time, but how did Sunghoon not become a nice and approachable person like his two best friends? They both seemed so genuine, but he looked like he was hiding something. This was what had made you weary of him; you knew all too well how easily an image that was the opposite of reality could be created. So on one hand, you sort of felt for him, thinking he might be in a similar situation as you. But on the other hand, you couldn’t help but feel some kind of jealousy: if you acted the way he did, you wouldn’t receive half the admiration you did. Hell, you’d probably be hated for it - no one likes a girl that’s both successful and bitchy about it. 

One thing was sure, though, and that was that you wouldn’t call the two of you friends, as he just had.

“Y/N? You okay?”

The pure panic in your eyes must’ve made Sunghoon realize something was wrong. He released you and looked you up and down, trying to take your appearance in. The Y/N he was seeing right then was worlds away from the one he was accustomed to at school. 

You realized there was no ignoring him, so you collected yourself and faced Sunghoon. “Uh, yeah, hi, Sunghoon. Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting to see anyone I knew here.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, no wonder. You look quite… different from what you usually do,” he said, voice laced with sarcasm.

This whole situation got you dumbfounded. You usually knew exactly what to retort when somebody messed with you, your friend or a classmate, but this time, you were completely speechless. You just wanted to escape.

“Well, it was nice seeing you Sunghoon, but I need to get home.” You pivoted on your heels and started walking again, but Sunghoon had other plans.

“Aw, come on, so quickly? We barely got to chat!” He followed you through the aisles as you picked up the remaining ingredients on the list your mother had given you as quickly as you could.

“I didn’t know you needed glasses. Do you wear lenses at school?”

“Yes. I need them to see.”

“I figured.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, and your shock was slowly morphing into anger. Were teenage girls so blind that they’d have a crush on someone with such an abominable personality, no matter how angelic his face was? 

“I really like your outfit, by the way. Looks super comfy.” And as if your embarrassment couldn’t grow any bigger, he added: “Too bad you got a stain on the shirt.”

You looked down at yourself and noticed a huge grease stain on the collar of your shirt. Admittedly, you didn’t always have the best table manners. 

You swore under your breath. It was quiet for a couple minutes as you arrived at the register and paid for your items, Sunghoon still on your tail. He had apparently given up his purchases to focus solely on tormenting you. When you walked out of the store, you thought he might finally be done. But of course, he wasn’t.

“You know, my sister has this really effective pimple cream she uses. Do you want me to ask her what brand it is?”

That was it. You sighed deeply. “Alright, Park. What do you want?”

When you turned to face him fully, arms crossing over your chest and an obviously tired expression on your face, the mischievous glint in his eyes made you realize something. That idiot was enjoying this. 

Indeed, he beamed down at you. You had probably never seen him smiling so widely. “Wow, Y/N, didn’t know you could have such an attitude.”

You stayed silent and continued staring at him, waiting for an answer. He mirrored your pose, out of instinct or to irritate you, you weren’t sure.

“You know, when I moved to this neighborhood before the start of school, I was definitely not expecting to see Perfect Miss Y/N out in her pajamas buying ice cream. I thought you were more into, I don’t know, rescuing puppies from fires or something. That sounds like something you’d do in your free time.”

“Well, is there anything wrong with what I’m doing?”

“Oh, absolutely not! Just a surprising sight. Makes me wonder what the rest of the school would say…” He looked intently at you, clearly waiting for a reaction. You weren’t about to give him one, though.

You chuckled and rolled your eyes, shifting your weight on your right foot. “Yeah, like anyone would believe you if you said you saw me looking anything else other than perfect.” It might’ve sounded arrogant, but that was the image people had of you. Even your friends asked you how you did it - if only they knew the truth.

At that, his smile got even brighter. “Don’t worry about that, I won’t need to tell anyone. I’ll just show them!” He pulled out his phone, showing you a picture of you in your god-awful pajamas searching for your favorite flavor of ice cream.

He watched as your face fell, taking your silence as an opportunity to go on. “You were so engrossed in the tubs of ice cream that you didn’t notice a dashingly handsome and tall young man very obviously taking pictures of you.”

This put you into panic mode again. It might have seemed foolish, but you hadn’t worked for years to create a perfect version of yourself only for a stupid boy to destroy it all with one picture. 

You sighed and lowered your head, taking a moment to think. You didn’t know Sunghoon that well, but you didn’t put it past him to send that picture to everyone and ruin your image in the process. You opted for honesty instead of bluff. You took your glasses off and looked back up at him; even if you couldn’t see him as well without them, maybe he’d see the despair in your eyes better.

“Park. I mean, Sunghoon. You can’t show that picture to anyone, okay? You have no idea how bad I need to keep up appearances. It’s really important to me, so just delete the picture and let’s never talk about this again, yeah?”

You tried smiling at him, but his expression infuriated you. You could tell he had something else up his sleeve. “Now, Y/N, why would I do that? If I’m gonna do something for you, you should do something for me.”

You weren’t sure if you wanted to hear the rest of his thoughts, but you needed to know. Eyeing him suspiciously, you told him to go on.

“Well, I can’t think of anything right now, but I’ll let you know when I do, okay? I’ll see you around, Y/N.” He flashed another one of his smiles, patted your head, and walked away, just like that, leaving you standing outside the convenience store on your own, a melting tub of ice cream in your plastic bag. At least for now, you were safe.

Right?

—

“You saw Park Sunghoon? As in, the Park Sunghoon?” your little sister Yeeun asked, looking at you with huge eyes. You two and Sunoo were sitting on your bed, sharing the ice cream by eating it directly from the tub.

“Yes, that’s literally what I’ve been saying this whole time. How do you know him anyway? You’re still in middle school…”

“Are you crazy? He’s famous in our whole school district! I wish we had cute boys in my school as well,” she sulked, pouting.

“That’s not the point, Yeeun,” Sunoo chimed in, then turned to you. “Well, this is either bad news or the start of a beautiful romance.”

“Sunoo! Take this seriously! I’m in a huge dilemma right now.”

Your siblings shared a knowing glance and snickered.

“Hey! I’m right here. I’m not overreacting, you know. If he does send those pictures around, I’m done for.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N, you’d be so much better off if you could be yourself at school. I see you there almost everyday, and the way you laugh always sounds so fake. Nobody would care if you forgot to put makeup on one day or had a crease in your shirt. If anything, it’d make you look more human.”

You could see where Sunoo was coming from, but you chose to ignore it. You sighed deeply. “You guys just don’t get it. They all see me as this perfect, put-together girl. If I showed them even a glimpse of the truth, everything would shatter. It’s too late to go back now.” You ignored their pitying looks and took another big spoonful of ice cream.

It was their turn to sigh. As always, it was impossible to reason with you. Deep in your thoughts, you added: “You know, there was something really off about him today. I’d never seen him act that way before.”

Your siblings looked at you questioningly. “He’s always so cold and distant towards everyone. I’ve only seen him smile when he’s laughing with Jake and Jay or when he makes fun of someone. But just now, he kept smiling at me like he was having fun. He even patted my head when he left.”

At that, Yeeun swooned dramatically, hands over her heart. You looked over at her and said, “I’d be swooning too if it was any other guy than Park Sunghoon. I’m more confused than anything right now, he was a completely different person from when I see him at school.”

They exchanged another look. “You guys stop doing that!”

“Well, it’s just that that sounds an awful lot like someone I know,” Sunoo replied. Realization hit you and you scoffed, mildly offended. At least you were nice to others at school and didn’t act like an asshole with a superiority complex.

“Anyway,” he continued, “what will you do about Sunghoon?”

“I’m not too sure. I guess all I can do is wait and see whatever it is he could want from me.”

“Yeah, do that, and then date him, please. If I can’t have him as my boyfriend, then I’ll have him as my brother-in-law,” Yeeun joked. You didn’t have it in you to retort anything back and started laughing along with her. 

If everything did shatter, at least you’d have your siblings to make you laugh.

— 

The next day, you made your way to the bus stop after your daily morning routine: jogging, showering, eating a filling breakfast, choosing the perfect accessories for your school uniform, applying just the right amount of makeup and going over your subjects and tasks of the day. As always, efficiency is the key. You had become so used to this routine that your body did it on its own, which let your mind wander wherever it pleased. Usually, you’d use this time to prepare yourself for the day ahead, but today, the only thing on your mind was Park Sunghoon. What was that boy up to? Was he up to anything, or did you completely imagine his mischievousness yesterday? In any case, you hoped it would all be over soon. 

You got on the bus and sat down next to Sumin. Your close friend group at school consisted of her, Park Sieun, Lee Heeseung and Choi Jiung, but she was the only one who knew about your secret. You had been friends for so long that you hadn’t even been able to hide it: she’d seen you from all angles, both before, during and after your transformation to who you were now. It was nice having someone else than your siblings to rely on and tell everything to. 

“Minie, you’ll never guess what happened yesterday. I ran into Park Sunghoon at the convenience store next to our apartment unit.”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, but her reaction wasn’t as big as you thought it’d be. She smiled and said, “Huh! I knew he’d moved to our neighborhood, but I wouldn’t have thought he’d live so close to you that you’d even shop at the same place.”

She registered your confused expression and continued. “Didn’t you hear? He moved out of his parents’ house at the end of summer. Something about a huge fight with them that made him move out. But there are always so many rumors about him and his group that I don’t know what to believe.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, unsure what to say. Now that you thought about it, Sunghoon had mentioned moving in your conversation yesterday, but you were so preoccupied with him seeing you in your wild state that you hadn’t paid much attention to his comment.

“Wait, did he do something? Your face is telling me he did something.”

You got closer to her face and gestured for her to do the same. With lowered heads and in hushed tones, you said, “He saw me on off-mode.”

She gasped and jolted back in surprise, eyes wide and eyebrows shooting straight up. “What?”

You shushed her and pulled her in by her shoulders. “He even took pictures.” Your grip tight, you held her from jumping again. “That’s not even it. You know how he's always really cold and distant?”

“You mean how he’s always being a douchebag?” She scoffed. “Yeah, I know.”

You remembered that Sumin had been one of the first of many girls who shot their shot with Park Sunghoon, only to get rejected. You both grimaced at the memory that always left a bad taste in your mouth.

“He was completely different yesterday. Kept following me around the store and, I’m not sure, teasing me? Like trying to get a reaction out of me? In a weird half-friendly half-bully way.”

“Hm, you’re right, that doesn’t sound like him,” she mused. “It does sound like a stupid teenage boy though, which I guess he is, no matter how hard he tries to pretend he’s not.”

This is what you loved about Sumin. She could see right through people, and never hesitated to say what she thought of them, especially when they acted the way Sunghoon did. Sure, there were some personal feelings attached there, but she had quickly gotten over them when she realized how much of a douche he was towards everyone else.

When the bus stopped to pick up some more students, Heeseung hopped on. You quickly told Sumin to keep it a secret, at which she smiled and made a motion as if zipping her lips and throwing the key. If you told your friends about Sunghoon, you’d have to tell them the truth about how he had dirt on you, but you wanted to keep your friendship clean. You chatted the rest of the bus ride away and tried not to worry over Park Sunghoon too much.

When you finally got to school, you, Heeseung, and Sumin made your way to your classroom to join Jiung and Sieun. Before you could get there, however, Jungwon, an underclassman you had talked to a couple times for student council meetings, called out your name. You told your friends to go on without you and turned to the younger boy.

“Jungwon! Hi, what’s up?”

He seemed flattered that you had remembered his name but quickly got on with his business. “Um, I’m not sure why, but Sunghoon told me to come and get you? I’ve never talked to him, I think he just picked me randomly and assigned me a task…”

You sighed. Park Sunghoon truly was something. “Thanks for telling me, Jungwon. I’ll make sure he gets an earful for this, he has no right to boss students around like that.”

Jungwon’s eyes doubled in size as he frantically waved his hands in dismissal. “No! No need to do that, I don’t want to get in trouble with him. I’m just here to relay the message.” At that, he scurried off, and you headed towards Sunghoon’s homeroom. 

When you walked in, a few people were in the room, some girls gossiping with each other, a couple students doing some last-minute revision for a test. You found Sunghoon sitting at his desk, snickering with Jay and Jake and hoped that the subject of their laughter wasn’t you. They noticed you approaching and the two decent boys greeted you; the other one eyed you, that mischievous glint back in his eyes. What could he possibly have in mind?

“Hi, guys.” You smiled at Jay and Jake and reflexively stood closer to Jay. “Sunghoon, Jungwon said you wanted to see me?” you asked, trying to keep your impatience at bay.

“Oh, was that his name? Well, thank heavens for him, ‘cause I forgot my lunch at home. Would you be a sweetheart and go buy me something at the cafeteria? You know how everything runs out as soon as lunch period starts, and I get really cranky when I’m hungry.”

You stared at him, wide-eyed. His two friends’ reaction wasn’t very different from yours. Go buy him lunch? That’s what he wanted you to do?

“What? You don’t want to? That’s too bad, cause there’s a picture I think everybo-”

You cut him off before he could finish. “No! Of course I’ll do it! Can’t have our star player go hungry, now can we?” You cringed at your own words and Jay eyed you suspiciously. Sunghoon beamed, and Jake’s eyes darted back and forth between the two of you in pure confusion. “Um, any preferences?”

His smile got wider. “A tuna mayo would be amazing. Thanks, Y/N! You’re the best!”

“Sure…” you mumbled and quickly walked away, more bemused than ever. You checked your watch. You had 10 minutes before the first bell rang, and you could not be late for class, which meant you needed to hurry. 

You got back to Sunghoon’s classroom just a minute before the first bell. To your dismay, the class was almost full, and girls had gathered around him, trying to get his attention, but he seemed unbothered by their presence. You braced yourself and walked towards him. As your presence rarely went by unnoticed, most eyes were on you and Sunghoon. Not only were you two some of the most popular kids in school, you also happened to be handing him his lunch, a never-seen-before sight between the two of you. 

“I also got you banana milk, for good measure…” 

What had seemed like a great idea a few minutes ago, something to appease the devil in him, now felt like the biggest mistake of your life. The girls around him started whispering left and right and you weren’t sure whether they felt bad for you, sensing an incoming rejection, or wanted to tear you to shreds for even trying. 

The whispers grew even louder when Sunghoon took the sandwich and milk from your hands, thanking you with a smile. You’d be lying if you said your heart hadn’t done a small jump in your chest at that moment. As much as you hated to admit it, if looks were the sole factor for popularity, then you could definitely understand why Park Sunghoon was so loved. His face looked like it had been carved by the gods themselves. When his eyebrows weren’t turned in a frown, his eyes looked almost sweet, especially when he laughed. His two moles gave him so much charm, the curve of his nose was so delicate and his pink lips looked so, so soft… 

You cleared your throat and smiled back at him before turning around to walk to your own classroom.

“Wait, Y/N!”

You turned back around, all eyes on you. You could feel Jay’s eyes burning holes into you. Sunghoon was still smiling. You thought you’d seen him smile more in the past two days than you had in all the years you’d known him.

“I’ll see you later.”

—

And indeed see him later you did. You always hung back a bit after classes ended to get homework done or work out student council issues. Being in an empty classroom brought you some peace and quiet, very different from the busyness and noise of your home. You couldn’t even focus in your own room, your siblings or parents always barging in to disturb you. The after-school janitors now knew you by name and saved cleaning the classroom you were sitting in for last. 

You had been barely sitting there for 5 minutes, nose buried in a math problem, when Park Sunghoon graciously strode in, swung the chair in front of you around and sat on it, arms crossed over its back as he peered at you. You didn’t even bother to look up at him as you spoke. “What, Park?”

“Oh no, back to last name basis already?” he joked. You didn’t laugh. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Wow, tough crowd. Anyways, thanks for the sandwich today.”

This made you look at him. Or rather, shoot daggers at him. “Yeah, what the hell was that all about? Did you have to pull that little stunt in front of everybody? You know what our school is like! Rumors are gonna start spreading like wildfire.”

“I already told you,” he said with a defensive tone. “Forgot my lunch, everything was gonna run out, didn’t want to get hungry later,” he said as he shrugged, completely ignoring the latter part of your complaint.

“And you couldn’t have gone and gotten it yourself?”

He beamed. If it wasn’t so damn beautiful, you probably would have started getting tired of his stupid smile already. “Why would I do that when I could get you to do it?”

You sighed. “I knew you weren’t the nicest guy, but I didn’t know you could be such an asshole, Park.”

If you hadn’t been staring him down so intently, you might not have noticed the falter in his smile, so quick it was.

“Oh, come on, Y/N. If anything, I’m doing you a favor by not sending out to everyone that picture you so desperately want to keep secret. Thing is, doing that wouldn’t benefit me in any way, except for getting the satisfaction of seeing everybody realize you’re not as perfect as they think you are. Whereas holding it over your head allows me to do basically anything I want with you. And that, that is just so much fun,” he beams, lowering his voice into a whisper for the last sentence.

What a psycho, you thought. You just sighed once more and returned to your textbook, too weirded out to say anything back. You hoped the silence would make Sunghoon realize how creepy what he had just said was. 

It was quiet in the room, only the sound of your pencil scratching your notebook could be heard. Sunghoon sat in the same position and watched you working. He often saw you like this, focused and benched over a desk, in the library or walking past your classroom. But it was always in passing, and looking at you so closely made all the world’s difference. He could see how you scrunched your nose when the problem got particularly difficult, or how your smirk as you solved another one made your left dimple appear. He also liked the annoyed looks you gave him every once in a while, as if his presence was disturbing your focus. He wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something about seeing someone who always went about their way with such purpose sitting in such silence.

He decided to break that silence. “You know, Jay was asking about you earlier.”

You kept your eyes trained on your notebook but abruptly stopped writing, your pencil leaving a small scratch on the paper. This didn’t go unnoticed by Sunghoon. “Did he?” you said, trying to sound as uninterested as possible, although you couldn’t help but be curious. Ever since Jay and you had grown apart, there was always a part of you wondering what he was up to, how he was doing, if he thought of you once in a while or reminisced about the good old times as you sometimes did. 

“Yeah. I mean, everyone did, but I didn’t really care,” he answers simply, and even though you’re itching to push him to say more, you stay quiet. “You’re right, by the way, I do know the people in our school. The rumors have already started spreading. Up to you whether you wanna deny them or not, though,” he said with a smirk.

“Don’t even think about it, Park. There’s not a chance in hell I’ll let them think we have a thing going on. I have a reputation to uphold, you know.”

He chuckled. “Trust me, I know. Anyway, he wanted to know why you did that for me. Guess he was jealous you didn’t do it for him, too.”

“Why would he be?” you asked, trying to make the question sound as innocent as possible. 

“Well, you two go a long way back, right?” he asked tentatively, as if testing the waters.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Then it was probably weird for him to see his childhood best friend and his best bro interacting out of nowhere, even though we’ve both seen each other around a lot and nothing has ever come out of that. Don’t you think?”

A beat passed as you thought about it. “Yeah, I guess that’d look weird to him,” you replied, trying to keep the disappointment out of your voice.

You quickly wrote down your last answer, packed up your things, and stood up. “Well, I’m off now. I’ll see you around, unfortunately.”

Sunghoon, surprised at your quick departure, scrambled to get off his chair and chased after you. “Do you want me to drop you off? I’ve got a car, you know. Much more glamorous than the bus.”

You turned around and looked at him. “I’d rather get hit by said bus than get in your car, Park.”

He stood there, watching you walk away with a smirk on his face as your ponytail swayed from side to side. This was going to be a challenge. You were going to be a challenge. 

Thing is, he loved a good challenge.

—

Back home, you flopped down on your bed and buried your face in your pillow. You laid there for a few minutes, taking some time to gather your thoughts and try to understand Sunghoon’s actions. It was of no use; you weren’t a mind-reader, and he seemed impossible to figure out. He could make you do basically whatever he wanted to, and he decided to make you get him lunch, creating rumors along the way? What could he possibly get out of that?

Your reflexions were quickly interrupted, however, by a flurry of incoming messages on your phone. Someone had posted a photo of you handing his banana milk to Sunghoon on your school’s Instagram account - because apparently, your school was so obsessed with gossip that they had created an Instagram page just for it. The photo had blown up among your peers and it made you wonder if people really were that bored with their lives.

People you barely knew but that felt entitled to knowing your relationship status were DMing you, asking about today’s events. You quickly got tired of it, so you texted your worried and confused friends that you didn’t feel like talking tonight and would catch up with them tomorrow. You opened your textbook, deciding that studying would be the best and most efficient distraction.

When your parents called you and your siblings for dinner, you still weren’t feeling great. Your family quickly registered your annoyed expression and could only hope for the best. You already weren’t the easiest to live with, but when you were tired, you just got a hundred times worse.

“So, how was everyone’s day?” your mom asked cheerily.

Yeeun’s eyes lit up instantly. “Mine was great! I met a really cute boy. His name is Nishimura Riki and he just transferred from Japan.”

“Oh, that’s nice!”

“You’re too young to be thinking about boys, Yeeun.”

Your mom and dad had replied at the same time, then gave each other a stern look.

“I’m not thinking about him, Dad, just looking,” your sister replied, earning a chuckle from your concerned father. 

“Mine was alright. I guess the start-of-a-new-year excitement has already worn off. After a week,” Sunoo said with a sigh. 

Your mom turned to you. “What about you, Y/N?”

“It was fine.”

The sharpness of your tone changed the atmosphere in the room at once. You ignored the looks your family exchanged and continued eating your food, eyes not leaving your plate.

For some reason, Sunoo thought it’d be a great idea to chime in. “She’s not happy because she had to buy Park Sunghoon his lunch and everybody went crazy over it.”

“Sunoo!” you protested. Your parents didn’t need to know about this sort of stuff.

“Park Sunghoon? Is that someone we’re supposed to know?” your dad questioned.

Yeeun scoffed. “Uh, he’s only the most popular and handsome guy at Y/N and Sunoo’s school, dad. Duh.”

“Right. Duh,” your dad said, imitating your sister’s tone.

“And why did you have to buy his lunch, Y/N?” your mom asked.

“Because he saw what she looks like when she’s not at school,” Sunoo said, not even giving you the chance to reply yourself.

“Sunoo!” you scolded again.

“And now I guess he’s using that against her to get her to do what he wants? Right, Y/N?”

You glared at your brother and let a beat pass. “Right,” you reluctantly admitted.

“Lucky…” your sister mused, expression like she was daydreaming about being Sunghoon’s personal assistant.

Your dad ignored your sister and looked straight at you. “That’s inadmissible, Y/N. You can’t let him do that.”

“Your father’s right, sweetie. It’s not right,” your mom added when you stayed silent.

With everybody’s eyes on you, you felt obligated to reply. “It’s fine. It’s not like he asked me to do anything crazy. I’m sure he’ll stop soon enough.”

“You know, boys that age, they’ll do anything to get a girl’s attention,” your dad warned. “Just ignore him and he’ll go away.”

“If she ignores him, he’ll tell everyone what she’s really like,” your brother explained.

“And what’s so bad about that? I’m sure it’d be easier if you stopped lying to everyone.”

Everyone suddenly stopped in their motions, wondering why your mom would say something so true yet so controversial. You looked up at her. “What’s so bad about that? What’s so bad? I don’t know, maybe the fact that I’ve worked so hard all these years for everybody to like me and look up to me only for a stupid picture taken by a stupid boy to ruin everything,” you said all in one breath, voice coming out harsh. You were tired of having to explain the same thing over and over again - your parents just didn’t understand why you did what you did.

Your mom opened and closed her mouth again, knowing it was useless trying to talk sense into you. It never ended well when you had this conversation.

“Who put mushrooms in this anyway? You know I hate mushrooms,” you said before filling up your bowl and taking it to eat in your room, making sure you’d slammed your door behind you.

—

On the bus the next day, you tried to explain the events of the previous day to your friends.

“There’s nothing really to it. He just asked me to get him lunch so I did, and when I handed it to him, his whole class was there and saw everything.”

“I get that, but I just don’t understand why he made you do it in the first place, or why you agreed,” Heeseung said, “it’s so unlike the both of you to do something like that.”

You hadn’t even thought to come up with an excuse for your and Sunghoon’s yesterday - your friends were definitely super confused, but you didn’t want to tell them the truth, so you had to quickly find something to say that was somewhat believable, and change the subject.

“I have no idea why he did what he did, but I didn’t want to cause a scene so I just agreed. I don’t really care, to be honest, I just wish it didn’t have such consequences. People seem to think we’re characters on a stupid Netflix coming-of-age series or something, when we literally just go to their school.”

As soon as you’d turned your phone back on this morning, it started pinging with all the messages that had flown in since last night. People were talking about it everywhere: Kim Y/N, highly sought-after bachelorette, had offered Park Sunghoon, notorious rejecter of girls and breaker of hearts, a sandwich and a banana milk, and he had taken them. What’s more, he had been seen at lunch heartily eating them. This was serious.

You didn’t think things could get any worse until you got to school. You were used to random people coming up to you in the hallways or in class for help, except today they weren’t asking for help at all - they were asking what was up between you and Sunghoon, as though handing him a tuna mayo was like asking for his hand in marriage. Most of them were just curious, but some, especially his fanclub members, had an aggressive tone to their voice, which you weren’t used to. If people started liking you less because of Sunghoon, you were going to kill him.

But you had to hold onto that thought, because an all too familiar voice had suddenly called out to you on your way to class. You took a deep breath and turned around, watching him take long strides towards you. You immediately became aware of the amount of people in the hallway and realized you couldn’t talk to him like you had the previous day in front of everybody. You mustered the fakest smile you could and greeted him.

“Hi, Sunghoon. What can I help you with today?”

He smiled, obviously enjoying the fact that you had to be nice to him. “I’ve got my sports bag because of practice later tonight. Mind holding onto that for me for the day?”

Your fake smile turned a bit crazy as your eyes widened in disbelief. "Don’t you have a locker for that, Sunghoon?”

“Yeah, but it’s so much more fun if you’re the one to hold it.” And with that, he threw the bag in your direction, leaving approximately 0.5 seconds to catch it. “I’ll need that later today. Meet me in front of the locker rooms after school, yeah?”

He didn’t bother to wait for your answer and walked away, Jake and Jay following closely behind. Jay sent you a questioning look, to which you could only reply with a shrug. If it wasn’t for all the students in the hallway, you would’ve been yelling Sunghoon’s ear off at that point. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a possibility, so you just smiled to your friends who were looking more confused than ever.

“Let’s just go to class, guys.”

—

Throughout the whole day, you could feel people staring at you, then at the bag you were holding, then starting to whisper among themselves. You tried your best to concentrate in class so you could momentarily stop pondering over what Sunghoon’s evil master plan might be, but everyone seemed bent on making that usually simple feat impossible. When 3:30 p.m. finally came around, you bid your friends goodbye and headed to the boys’ locker room. Every boy walking in eyed you suspiciously, unsure as to what you could be doing there. Of course, Sunghoon had to take his sweet time to get there. 

Staring at the opposite wall and planning Sunghoon’s murder in your head, you hadn’t noticed Jay and Jake arriving. Jay signaled for his friend to go inside the locker room and told him he’d join him in a minute. He waved his hand in front of you to get your attention, a smile on his face. You sighed in relief at the familiar sight of your friend.

“Hey, Jay. Sorry I didn’t see you.”

“You okay, Y/N? You look like you’re about to murder someone,” he said, slightly amused.

“If only you knew,” you mumbled.

He noticed the bag in your hand. “You waiting for Sunghoon?”

“Yeah. If only he could hurry up a little bit. I’ve got stuff to do.”

There was something about Jay that made it impossible to lie to him. Maybe it was the fact that you had known each other for so long, way before you’d turned into what you were now, that made you feel as though showing a side of you that gets annoyed and impatient and doesn’t smile all the time was okay.

Jay looked at his feet before looking back up at you. You were still staring at the wall but your murderous thoughts had somewhat calmed. “Mind telling me what this whole thing with Sunghoon is about?”

You turned to him and were about to fumble for an answer when someone interrupted you. “What whole thing with me?”

Whew. Saved by Sunghoon. You didn’t like that it was thanks to him that you could get out of answering Jay, but at least you didn’t have to come up with yet another stupid excuse.

Jay turned his attention to his friend and stood up straighter. “You know, making her get you lunch or hold your bag all day. There’s dozens of girls who’d be more than happy to do that for you, so why Y/N? She doesn’t have time for this stuff.”

You looked at Jay with surprise. Sure, you were friends, but you hadn’t thought he’d defend you like that in front of Sunghoon.

“Well, Y/N’s just such a nice, reliable person. No one better to ask to do those things.” What a reason, you thought. He turned to you and took the bag from your hands. “Thanks, Y/N. I’ll see you outside in a couple minutes.”

“Huh? What do you mean? I’m leaving,” you said, body already headed towards the other direction.

“What? You can’t leave before practice has even started. Go to the benches outside, we’ll be out in a few.”

You were about to open your mouth to protest, but he cut you off. “You don’t want to?” He started pulling out his phone. “That’s funny, because there’s a pict-”

“I’ll be on the benches! See you soon!” you quickly said, pushing the two boys inside the locker room, Sunghoon smirking, Jay looking at you in utter confusion.

Girls sat in a few different groups in the bleachers. You recognized the girls in one of those groups, so you decided to sit with them. As you approached, they quickly looked at each other and then back at you, expressions half-friendly, half-what-the-hell-are-you-doing-here. 

“Hi guys! Mind if I join?”

“Hi Y/N! No, of course not, come sit,” Jake’s girlfriend, Yujin, said. 

“Are you guys here to watch practice?”

“Yeah! I’m here on girlfriend duties for Jake. These two are just here for the eye candy and to keep me company,” Yujin explained.

“Yeah, but mostly for the eye candy,” added her friend Wonyoung. 

“What about you, Y/N? I’ve never seen you here,” asked the last girl, Gaeul.

“Oh, um, Sunghoon asked me to come, actually.” You regretted your words as soon as you’d let them out. They all ooh-ed at your response, making you blush, which just egged them on. This was nothing to blush about, Y/N. You’d just made the rumors get a hundred times worse with one sentence.

“The whole school’s been talking about you two, you know. Anything you wanna share? Don’t worry, we can keep a secret,” said Wonyoung with a wink. You chuckled awkwardly.

“Oh my gosh, yes, tell us!”

“Guys, don’t make her uncomfortable,” Yujin chimed in, smiling at you. You returned her smile, grateful, once again, that you didn’t have to explain your new link to Sunghoon. “Look, practice is starting.”

You turned your head towards the field as the soccer players started doing laps as per the coach’s instructions. Your eyes immediately drifted towards Sunghoon without you even realizing it. His lean figure hypnotized you. The last time you had had PE with him was in freshman year, and puberty had hit him like a fine, fine truck. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him as he lightly jogged next to his friends, chatting like it was nothing. You weren’t being very subtle with your stare and he eventually noticed you, sending a wink your way. This made you snap out of your reverie and you scowled at him, as if he could make out your annoyed expression from such a distance. You turned back to the girls, who were giggling at you.

“Wow, those were some serious heart eyes you were giving him, Y/N,” Gaeul giggled.

You opened your mouth in mild shock. “Was not!”

“Sure, whatever you say,” she replied knowingly. “Well, look all you want. Warm-up is the best part. It gets boring when they actually start playing.”

“No way! Watching them play is my favorite part,” Yujin disagreed.

“Yeah, that’s cause you’ve got someone to root for,” retorted Wonyoung. She looked at you slyly. “Well, I guess Y/N does, too.”

You scoffed. “Believe me, I will not be rooting for him.”

You started staring at him again, this time with a glare in your eyes. From their silence, you deduced the girls must’ve judged it a better idea to not question you too much. After the boys were done with running exercises and stretching (which you had enjoyed watching a bit too much, if you spoke truthfully), they started playing. The coach split the boys into two teams, Jay leading one and Sunghoon the other. It was a very close game. You could never tell who was leading, although that might have been due to your extensive lack of knowledge in the sport. All you knew was that you desperately wanted to see Sunghoon lose; that might put him down a peg. What you told yourself, however, was that you wanted Jay to win. So when he scored a goal, you surprised the girls next to you, the boys on the field and yourself as you jumped up and down, cheering for him. Realizing what you were doing, you quickly sat down and sent him an awkward thumbs up.

Jay tried to hide it, but he was blushing. Hard. Truth be told, he had noticed your little eye contact moment with Sunghoon during warm-up and hadn’t particularly enjoyed it. So seeing you cheer for him like that made him swell with pride, which only grew when Sunghoon scored and you barely reacted. 

When the game was over, you thought you might be able to finally go home and start studying. But Sunghoon had other plans for you, as always these past couple days. Heading towards the showers, he motioned for you to come down from the benches. As you did, Jay walked past, and you smiled at each other.

“Good game.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” He continued walking as Sunghoon reached you.

“What about me? I scored a goal, too.”

“Oh, did you? Didn’t even notice," you said, looking at your nails. The polish was starting to chip - you’d need to reapply a layer tonight.

“Whatever. Wait for me, yeah?”

“What? No! I gotta go home!” But your protests were in vain, as he completely ignored you. 

You waited outside the school with Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul. After a little while, Jake, Jay and Sunghoon joined you guys, having successfully showered and not smelling of sweat and dirt, thank God. Yujin was dropping her boyfriend and her friends off, so they bid their goodbyes and headed towards her car. Sunghoon and Jay also started to walk towards the parking lot, leaving you standing alone, not sure what to do. Sunghoon turned around and looked at you with a frown.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t know, what are you doing?”

“I’m dropping you and Jay off.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, taken aback. “Didn’t know I was just supposed to guess that.”

As soon as Sunghoon started to drive, you noticed the awkward air between the three of you. Luckily, after years of being a people-pleaser, you had become somewhat of an expert in making small talk, which helped prevent a silent ride. You don’t think you could’ve gone through that without a mental breakdown.

Because you and Sunghoon lived closer to each other (and we all know the consequences of that), Jay was dropped off before you. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow at school,” he said before giving you a last glance.

“Bye, Jay.”

“See you, bro.”

Thankfully, you only lived a couple minutes by car from Jay’s and hoped the rest of the car ride would be peaceful. Which was really stupid of you to hope for, because you were in the car with Park Sunghoon.

“So, Park Jongseong, huh?” he said, eyes trained on the road in front of him. Even though he was trying to keep his tone light, you thought you detected a slight harshness to his gaze.

“What about him?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

“There’s nothing to say. We’ve just been friends for a long time.”

It was silent for about five seconds. “You really feasted your eyes during warm-up, huh?”

“Shut up, Park.”

“No, it’s alright, I get it. I’d do the same.” He laughed at his own joke that wasn’t really a joke. Why was he laughing, anyway? 

You looked at him. His face was so different from all those times you’d seen it at school. His eyes, rid of the harshness you’d seen earlier, crinkled at the edges and had an amused glint in them. His smile dug pretty dimples into his cheeks and you let your gaze linger long enough to notice he had sharp, vampire-like canines, which were surprisingly cute. You didn’t know why he was showing you a side of him he never showed anyone, except for his close friends, you assumed. You weren’t sure what overcame you, but you chuckled with him. 

“So, do you already know what task you’re gonna give me tomorrow?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“Hmm, haven’t really thought about it yet. I’d rather keep it a surprise, anyway. Keep you on your toes.”

“Pfft. What a great surprise.” He laughed again, and you couldn’t help but join him. He was unusually giddy that day, but you didn’t want to complain. This was a thousand times better than the arrogant Sunghoon with his I’m-better-than-all-of-you facade. What you didn’t know was that he, too, liked your snarky, no-nonsense side infinitely more than the model student, pretty girl persona you had created for yourself.

Finally at your house, you got out of the car and headed to your house after waving goodbye to Sunghoon. He rolled his window down and leaned out of it.

“Y/N?”

You turned around. “Yeah?”

“About your task tomorrow…”

“…Yeah?”

“I’m sure you’ll love it.” He gave you an umpteenth wink, rolled his window back up and drove off.

You weren’t so awful to your parents and siblings that evening.

—

The next day at school, you were wondering why Sunghoon had said you would love your task. Because you were, in fact, quite loathing it. He had found you studying during your free period after lunch and dragged you to the part of the library where it was okay to talk a bit over whisper level. You were currently going over a scene in The Tempest which you had seen in AP English Lit last year and clearly had no time for. But obviously, that wasn’t a problem to Sunghoon, who just wanted to get a passing grade on his English essay without putting in too much effort. 

After twenty minutes of going over the same five lines, you were about to give up. “Look, Sunghoon, I don’t mind helping you. I’ve tutored dozens of students before so I’m used to it. But you’re not making any effort! If you want to get it, you need to at least try.”

“But it’s so boring,” he whined, not unlike a child. “How am I supposed to find any meaning in this? It’s just stupid people doing stupid stuff on a stupid island.” You cringed at his words and hoped Shakespeare wasn’t listening in on this conversation. 

“It’s not stupid. It’s about power, and being punished for chasing it, and it’s a metaphor fo-”

“Ugh!” he groaned loudly. “You know what, I don’t care enough about this. Just write the essay for me, okay?” He got up and left, again not waiting for your answer. You wanted to protest, but you know what would happen if you said no to any of his requests, so you just quickly got to work.

Everyday over the next couple of weeks, Sunghoon would find something for you to do. Most days, he’d just get you to buy him lunch (although he thankfully had started paying you back) or carry his stuff around like the first two times. He didn’t ask you again to tutor him, however, so you had gotten used to sitting in an empty class together after class, you doing his homework for him and attempting (and failing) to explain it to him, and him alternating between playing on his phone and looking at you. Although it’d flustered you at first, not used to having someone stare at you while you were trying to concentrate, you’d grown somewhat okay with it - all of your complaints were ignored anyway. One time, he even got you to work on his science project with him, a weirdly-shaped volcano he needed to paint and decorate before actually putting the chemicals in. You’d be lying if you said it hadn’t been fun painting it together, occasionally ‘accidentally’ getting paint on the other’s hand or cheek instead of the volcano. 

You went to see him at practice two to three times a week, although you weren’t sure what use that had for him. If anything, you were probably the one who enjoyed yourself more. Perhaps, after being forced to spend so much time with him, you had started to soften up to him. And, perhaps, that made you appreciate his good looks even more. You couldn’t deny the effect his damp hair, stuck to his forehead with sweat, had on you. 

The rumors hadn’t died down, but people had started getting used to seeing the two of you together around, so they didn’t ogle their eyes at you everytime you and Sunghoon had some kind of interaction. Not liking that you couldn’t control people’s opinion of you anymore, you were still a bit bothered by them, but Sunghoon’s little posse of fangirls didn’t seem to be. They’d been the one to question you the most, and you got a few nasty looks in the hallway, but the gossip around school hadn’t stopped them from keeping on following him around, harassing him from morning to afternoon by going to his homeroom at breaks, sitting at a table near him at lunch, and going to see him at practice. Their group had dwindled down, though; most likely, some of them thought you two might be dating and had finally realized they didn’t stand a chance with the one and only Park Sunghoon. Thank God you had your friends and now sometimes Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul around you during those times, otherwise, you’d probably have been jumped. Spending so much time with him had kept you a couple times from your friends, which they’d complained about, but sensing that they couldn’t do much about it, they let you be, even though they hadn’t gotten a satisfactory explanation yet.

One person who didn’t want to, or rather couldn’t let it go, though, was Jay. He still couldn’t figure out why you’d started spending so much time with Sunghoon, seemingly overnight, and it created an unpleasant, sour pit in his stomach. Out of all the people you could’ve decided to form a new friendship with, why’d it have to be his best friend, meaning he saw you more often now than before, but not because he was the one you had come to see? Why did you never get him banana milk for lunch, and why’d you only start coming to soccer practice because Sunghoon had asked you to? He’d tried to ask both of you about it, but you always gave him half-assed excuses that didn’t make much sense. 

He realized what he was feeling was jealousy the day you came into their homeroom before the first bell rang and asked Sunghoon how his science project had gone. You’d never asked him how his science project, or any of his projects or tests, for that matter, had gone. He recognized it as the same feeling he had harbored when he had come back from the US in middle school and saw you dating Choi Soobin, or when Lee Heeseung had joined your tight-knit group of friends in freshman year. You and Soobin had only dated for three weeks and a half because you had a relationship-terminating argument over mint chocolate ice cream, and you and Heeseung had never become more than friends, nor had the intention to. But Jay didn’t care about that; all he saw was that there were boys around you that weren’t him. He had never acted upon those feelings, dismissing them as over-protectiveness for someone he had known since forever, but seeing Sunghoon and you laughing together hit too close to home. He couldn’t ignore how he felt because he was reminded of it everyday, but he didn’t know what to do with these newfound emotions.

And what’s the best thing to do whenever you don’t know what to do? Talk to your friends. Or well, in this case, your friend. He didn’t wanna talk about you to Sunghoon. He was a firm believer of bro code, but he didn’t wanna bottle up his feelings like he had all these years. So he went to Jake and told him everything, from your childhood friendship to Soobin, Heeseung and now Sunghoon.

“I know it’s stupid. It’s this whole cliché of, you only realize what you have when you lose it.”

“Well, you haven’t really lost Y/N, you know. It’s not like Sunghoon and her are dating.”

“I guess not, but he clearly likes her. It’d be a dick move to go after her now that they’ve got something going on.”

Jake hesitated for a second, debating whether he should say what he was thinking, but ultimately deciding it might be better to do it. “You know, I’m not sure that he does. You know what Sunghoon’s like. He’s never very honest about his intentions. I don’t wanna bring the subject up with him, cause I don’t wanna cause any drama, but it’s so suspicious to me that he’s suddenly spending time with Y/N when he’s never mentioned her all those years and when he rejects all these girls all the time.”

“I think it’s weird, too,” agreed Jay. “I just can’t seem to figure it out. And I’m a bit scared for Y/N, to be honest. Remember that girl in freshman year? They’d gotten along really well when he suddenly dropped her. I still remember his cold-ass stare when he turned her down. It even chilled me, man.”

“God, yeah, I always forget about that. He may be a jackass to all those girls, but when you know what he’s really like like we do, it seems so unlikely that he’d do something like that.”

Jay sighed and looked out into the distance. “I just hope he doesn’t hurt Y/N.”

Jake looked at his friend, thinking how to phrase his next sentence. “Like I said, I don’t wanna cause any drama… but, man, if you don’t want him to hurt Y/N, just don’t let him. If you make a move on her, you might get to her before he does. Better to do that now than to have to pick up the pieces, don’t you think?”

Jay mentally thanked the heavens for gifting him with a friend like Sim Jaeyun. “Yes, that is much, much better.”

He was going to stop sitting on his feelings and finally let them see the light.

—

But before that, Sunghoon had another one of his requests for you. You were sitting together in an empty classroom after school as you often did these past weeks. For you, today was an ordinary day, but the boy in front of you had something else in mind. He wasn’t saying anything but you could feel his nervousness and it was starting to make you feel anxious as well.

You lifted your head from your notes and looked at Sunghoon who seemed lost in his thoughts. “What is it, Sunghoon?”

This made him snap out of his reverie. “Um, nothing.”

“Well, seeing how you’ve been tapping your foot at the speed of lightning ever since we got here, it doesn’t seem like nothing.” You crossed your arms over the table and looked at him more intently, eyes asking him to tell you what was on his mind.

He sighed, giving in. “I was just thinking… there’s something I wanna tell you.”

“Go on. “

“I need you to date me.”

Your breath caught in your throat. Park Sunghoon… needed you… to date him? Was he asking you out? The way he’d worded it was a bit odd, but you didn’t put it past him.

Taking in your silence and wide eyes, he quickly added: “Not in that way! I, um, need you to be my fake girlfriend.”

Oh.

So he wasn’t asking you out. You weren’t sure why that made you so upset, but you tried to keep the disappointment out of your eyes and voice.

“Right,” you said, tone a bit harsher than you’d meant it to, “and why would I do that?”

Sunghoon smirked lightly. “Well, first of all, you don’t have much of a choice.” You rolled your eyes at that. It’d been a few days since the reason why you had started hanging out in the first place had come up, and you didn’t like to be reminded of that god-forsaken picture. 

“And second of all… I guess I should be completely honest with you.” This piqued your interest, and you leaned back on your chair to listen to him. 

“When I saw you at the store and took pictures of you, I wasn’t really thinking of doing anything. Maybe just get a laugh or two and tease you about it. I even told you outside the store that I didn’t know what I was gonna do. To be honest, I didn’t really think there was anything you could do for me that I’d need to force you to do. So I thought about it all night. And I asked myself, what’s the thing that pisses me off the most at school that you could change?” he looked at you expectantly, as if you could figure it out. You just shrugged.

“It’s those girls that keep following me around. All these years, I’ve acted like a giant asshole with them and still they think they have a crush on me or whatever. And I’ve never liked any of them, they’re all so superficial and ask me out without having ever talked to me before. So I thought, hey, maybe if I have a girlfriend, they’ll leave me alone. Which is why I made you do all those things for me.”

“So that they’d think we were dating?” you asked, trying to take all this information in. You’d sort of known it this entire time, but Sunghoon blatantly admitting he’d been using you hurt nonetheless.

“Yeah. But obviously, you always denied the rumors, so it hasn’t worked as well as I thought it would. It still did a bit though. So I think, if we take it the next step, and actually pretend we’re dating, it should really work. But I need your full cooperation on this, okay?” He looked at you, hopeful eyes and hands in prayer.

You sighed. As he said, it wasn’t like you had much of a choice.

“Please, Y/N? I really want them off my back.”

“Fine, Park, I’ll do it. But this better be the last thing you make me do.” You couldn’t help but sound cold. This made you rethink these past few weeks’ events. Were you the only one actually enjoying spending time together?

“Thanks, Y/N. And yeah, of course. You won’t have to carry my bag or get my lunch anymore if you want. Maybe it’ll be more believable if I do that for you.”

You had focused your attention back to your homework, wanting this conversation to be over as soon as possible.

“I’ll also pick you up in the morning, so you don’t need to take the bus.”

You hummed in response.

“Um, and I’ll also drop you off after school and after practice…” Sunghoon trailed, troubled by your silence. You hadn’t been so cold since the first couple times you two had talked, and he hated the idea that that might be because of what he had just said. So he took a chance.

“You know, Y/N, this doesn’t change anything. I wouldn’t have made you do all those things if I didn’t like spending time with you. You’re really nice to be around,” he admitted shyly.

You were far too flustered to lift your head and let him see your face. You just grinned and murmured, “Whatever, Park.”

—

Sunghoon kept his promise and picked you up in the morning. He called you at exactly 7:55 a.m., saying he was waiting outside and you rushed out of your house, piece of toast still in your mouth. In the car, you two went over what being in a fake relationship would involve.

“We just need to be seen around together, right?” you proposed, hoping your lack of experience wasn’t showing.

Thankfully, Sunghoon had no idea what being in a relationship, fake or not, entailed either. “Yeah, I think. And maybe…” he hesitated. 

“Maybe?” you prodded, hoping he wouldn’t (or actually would, but you’d never admit it) say what you thought he was about to say.

“I don’t know, like, hold hands, and… kiss.” The last part had barely been audible, but you’d still heard it.

“Kiss?” you echoed, voice almost a shriek. “I don’t think we need to go that far, Sunghoon.” A little voice in your head was saying that you’d really like to go that far but you made it shut up.

He was blushing profusely but didn’t want to drop the subject there. “At least on the cheek, or something. We do have to make it believable.”

And there it was. The little sentence, reminding you none of this was real. Seemed like that was a pattern in your life.

You looked out the window. Sunghoon glanced over at you, cursing himself for always saying the wrong thing. He was trying so hard to drown his blooming feelings for you that he kept on hurting you in the process. This whole fake-dating plan was the perfect excuse for him to spend more time with you without having to come to terms with his feelings. 

“C’mon, Y/N, it’ll be fun. Promise.” He nudged your arm playfully, making you look at him. His smile was contagious; you could never help yourself but start grinning when you saw his face light up like that. Maybe he’s right, you thought. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

When you arrived at school, Sunghoon told you to wait for a second. He got out of the car and quickly walked around to your side, opening the door for you. You hated how your heart fluttered at the sweet gesture, reminding yourself it was just for show. The important part was that it fooled everyone else, and it did - as you took Sunghoon’s hand, letting him help you out of the car, and walked with him hand in hand towards the school gates, you could feel all eyes on you. You could hear whispers of see, I told you they were dating! and defeated no ways. 

You realized you didn’t care about what anybody might be seeing, which was a first for you. You’d always made sure everybody saw you exactly the way you wanted to see them. As he was the most popular guy in school, dating Park Sunghoon at once helped your reputation and put you on many girls’ bad side. But holding his hand, you felt as though there was some kind of barrier protecting you. You’d never felt so exposed and so safe at the same time.

You noticed Jay standing next to the gates, looking particularly antsy. He’d texted you that morning, saying there was something he wanted to tell you. Usually, you’d have stayed up, overthinking what that could be, but what with today being the day you’d announce yourself to the world (your school) as Park Sunghoon’s (fake) girlfriend, you had had other things to worry about. You gestured at Sunghoon towards Jay. Your friend only saw you when you were calling his name, standing right in front of him.

“Oh, hi, Y/N! I-” 

He immediately cut himself off when he saw yours and Sunghoon’s interlaced fingers. Embarrassed, you took your hand out of your fake boyfriend’s, opting for holding onto his pinky instead, not realizing that it was a much cuter action that made one boy’s heart flutter and the other’s fill up with sadness.

“There was something you wanted to tell me?” you asked with a small smile.

“Uh- yeah, but it’s not important, actually. We can talk about it later.”

“Oh, you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” He returned your smile, hoping to make the situation less awkward. It was very obvious he didn’t want to say whatever it was he needed to tell you in front of Sunghoon, which you had both understood.

Sunghoon spoke up. “Right, well I’ll see you in class, Jay. Y/N, I’ll walk you to yours.” And with that, he started walking, holding his friend’s gaze for a few steps. You turned back to look at Jay for a split second, trying to decipher what had just happened, but Sunghoon grabbed you by the waist, making you look up at him in surprise, and breaking Jay’s heart even further.

—

Once Sunghoon and you got to your class, you felt as though you were in one of those movies where the boy drops the girl off at her house after their first date. Except that this was in a crowded school hallway two minutes before the first bell rang. What you had in common with that girl from the movie, however, was that you were freaking out over what your boy was going to do next. In the car, you’d ended up agreeing to a kiss on the cheek, but you hadn’t realized it would be happening so soon.

As you two hovered around your classroom’s door, you looked at each other and giggled. Damn, you were selling this well. So well that if you could have ascended out of your body and looked at the scene as a third party, you’d probably have barfed all over yourself. 

You were still holding his pinky. You could tell he was too hesitant to do anything now that you had reached the classroom, and so you mustered all of your courage, stood on your tippy toes and softly pressed your lips to his cheeks. (You were pretty sure you’d heard gasps around you.) Your courage went as fast as it came, and as realization hit you, you quickly squeaked “bye, Sunghoon” and practically ran to your seat. The boy stood there for another second or two, hand going to his cheek where you had just kissed him. He walked happily to his own classroom, completely oblivious to the stares he was receiving.

Heeseung, Jiung and Sieun were looking at you in disbelief as you approached them. Sumin, on the other hand, looked like she had paid no attention whatsoever to the scene.

“Y/N,” Sieun teased in a sing-song voice. “Care to explain what just happened?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve actually managed to make the oh-so-great Park Sunghoon fall for you?” Jiung asked jokingly. 

You looked down in an attempt to hide your grin. You usually did that sort of stuff to appear humble when someone complimented you, but this time it was completely genuine. The mere thought of Sunghoon made you all giddy inside. “Um, yeah, he actually asked me to be his girlfriend last night.”

Your three friends gasped dramatically and Sieun pulled you into a hug, as if you’d just received an award of some kind. Heeseung and Jiung patted your shoulders, congratulating you.

“Sumin? Did you know about this?” Sieun enquired, turning to your friend.

“What? Oh, yeah, Y/N called me last night,” she answered, briefly looking at you before turning back to her phone. Sieun looked at you, surprised, not understanding Sumin’s reaction to what seemed like happy news.

You had indeed called Sumin the previous night, and the call had gone similarly to the way she was behaving this morning. Although you usually told her everything, this time, you didn’t want to share the fact that you and Sunghoon were only fake dating. You found yourself actually wanting it to be true - and you thought it’d be easier to believe it yourself if everyone, including your best friend, did too.

“Minie! I’ve got some news,” you’d said as soon as she picked out.

“Ooh! Hit me,” she’d replied with as much excitement in her voice as you.

“So…” you’d started, already giggling. “Sunghoon’s just asked me out. I haven’t told anyone else, I wanted you to be the first to know.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. After a while, you added, “Minie, you still there?”

“Huh? Yeah, um, that’s nice, Y/N, I’m happy for you,” she said, not sounding happy at all. There was no trace of excitement left in her voice.

“Yeah, thanks,” you replied, voice ten times smaller than a minute ago.

“I’m sorry Y/N, but I’ve got to go, my parents are calling me. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She hung up suddenly, giving you no time to say bye in return. You were completely confused. Was Sumin bothered by you and Sunghoon dating? Other than a reminder about his past behavior, she hadn’t said anything when you two were getting closer. So what was wrong? You’d hoped you’d find out the next day at school, but the way she was acting didn’t help at all.

You snapped out of your flashback when Heeseung nudged you, faking a pout. “Not fair! Why did she get to know before we did?”

You forced a smile and said you’d known you’d see them the next day and thought it was better to tell them in person, and that you had just wanted to rant to someone quickly. Your teacher came in as the bell rang and everyone went to their seat. During class, you tried getting her attention so you could ask her if she was okay but she kept her attention on the teacher the whole time. 

After that, as time went by, you kept up your charade of being the perfect student as usual, adding to that of being the perfect girlfriend to Sunghoon. Time with him passed by so quickly: you hadn’t realized you were more than halfway through the semester until you needed to wear a thicker jacket outside and the leaves had started falling, covering school grounds in shades of brown. The plan had worked: he was finally left alone by his admirers. Sumin had stopped being weird after a few days, saying she had had some problems with her parents but hadn’t gone into more detail. Everything was as great as it had ever been: good grades, good friends and a good boyfriend. Well, fake boyfriend, which you needed to remind yourself a bit too often, on the days Sunghoon didn’t do it himself. You felt a pinch in your heart every time he said something like, “there’s my fake girlfriend!” when it was just the two of you, or “great job today, Y/N” after dropping you off.

One day as you arrived home, Yeeun was waiting outside your house, trying to catch you red-handed. She dragged him inside by the arm and you panicked, not wanting him to see how you lived. But your messy room and invasive siblings didn’t scare him off at all; on the contrary, he smiled one of the biggest smiles you’d ever seen on him, canines and dimples on display. Your mom made him stay over for dinner and it was probably the happiest dinner you’d ever had. The idea of bringing someone home and having them see your habits and odd family dynamics had terrified you for the longest time, but you felt so comfortable around Sunghoon that it felt as if he was part of your home as soon as he’d stepped foot inside. You didn’t feel the need to hide anything from him.

After dinner, he helped your parents clear up the table and even washed the dishes, even though they kept insisting he didn’t have to do anything. He had completely won them over. They sat at the table and watched you two laugh together in the kitchen. They looked at each other, knowing they were thinking the exact same thing: their daughter hadn’t looked this happy in a while.

When you were done cleaning up, you two headed to your room under the pretense of needing to study. 

“Alright, but keep the door open!” your mom had yelled after you, making you groan and Sunghoon’s face turn crimson red.

You really had planned on studying - there was a big test coming up and you couldn’t afford to get a bad grade. When you got your physics textbook out, Sunghoon groaned in protest.

“What? You seriously want to study right now?”

You sighed. “I don’t necessarily want to, no, but I need to. And so do you, may I add.”

“We’re not even in the same physics class!”

“Yeah, but we both have Mr. Cho, so I know you’re gonna have a test as well.”

He rolled his eyes and dramatically flung himself on your bed. “Fine.”

When he didn’t move for a few minutes, you guessed what he had meant was that he’d let you study but wasn’t going to do it himself. But after ten minutes, he suddenly got up. “I’m bored to death, Y/N. The test isn’t in another week. Show me what you do for fun,” he said, on the verge of desperation. It had only been ten minutes, but you felt bad having him over and not entertaining him.

“Well, I do have a Switch…” Sunghoon’s eyes widened in awe. “I guess we can play Mario Kart.”

He almost squealed in joy at that. You just chuckled at him, not knowing he was such a fan of car video games. 

“I’m gonna crush you, Kim. Get ready,” he said, already looking victorious.

You smirked, not wanting him to get his hopes up. “Oh, it’s on, Park.”

As expected of a pro player like you (on non-schooldays, you could stay up all night playing this game), you won every single round. Sure, he gave you a run for your money, but you always came on top. He took it surprisingly well, congratulating you each time. After your fourth win in a row, you wiggled your face in front of his with a devilish smile, as you couldn’t help but torment him a little. But he wasn’t smiling. At first, you’d thought he was finally getting mad he kept on losing; but then the proximity between you two hit you. You noticed his eyes flicker momentarily to your lips and had backed off immediately.

“Um, if we go for another round, I’ll go easy on-”

He cut you off by putting his hand on your cheek, making you turn to look at him. You’d daydreamed about this moment before, but you hadn’t imagined your heart beating this fast or the butterflies eating away at your stomach. He was now fully staring at your lips, and you couldn’t look at anything else but his either. Too scared to move an inch, you felt him get closer and closer, so close that his lips were almost on-

“Y/N, mom says it’s late and Sunghoon needs to- AH!”

Sunoo had walked in, eyes riveted on his phone until he looked up and saw you and Sunghoon suspiciously close to each other. Sunghoon practically leaped off of your bed in surprise and you flung a pillow over your face, not believing you had almost kissed Park Sunghoon but that your stupid little brother had ruined everything.

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” the culprit squeaked before running away. You and Sunghoon looked at each other. It was awkward for two seconds, then you both erupted in laughter. 

“Alright, guess I should get going then. Um, thank you so much for tonight. I haven’t had a family dinner in a while, and… Well, it was really nice,” he admitted shyly after you’d calmed down.

“Of course, Sunghoon. I’m sure my parents would love to have you over any time.”

You walked him to your front door, where you exchanged goodbyes and I’ll see you tomorrows. You watched him take a few steps, then turn back and jog towards you. He stood in front of you for a second, then leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Bye, Y/N.”

You were too stunned to say it back.

—

After the almost-kiss, it felt as though something had changed between you and Sunghoon. The event had somewhat revealed your feelings: you both knew you wanted to kiss each other. But since those feelings hadn’t been acted upon, the transition from fake-dating to real dating couldn’t happen as smoothly. Well, it could, if you two stopped acting like idiots and told each other how you felt. But the author wanted to get a couple more thousand words in, so it had to wait.

You’d gotten used to Sunghoon’s little requests at school, but you definitely hadn’t anticipated a phone call at past 11pm on a Wednesday night. 

“Sunghoon? Why are you calling me so late?” you asked, groggy voice because of sleep. Since you woke up so early to get ready in the morning, you always went to bed around 9:30 to 10 p.m. Sunghoon was making you lose precious minutes of slumber.

“Late? It’s barely midnight, Y/N.” You groaned. “Whatever, put on some clothes and come outside! I’m waiting for you.”

“You’re what?” you whisper-screamed, suddenly feeling very awake.

“I’m waiting for you! Hurry up!” 

As always, he hung up without waiting for your reply. You couldn’t really turn him down anyway; although you were somewhat obligated, you had stopped seeing it that way and started doing things for him out of your own volition. 

Not wanting to get out of your pajamas, you just threw on a warm sweater, a scarf, some socks, and headed down the hallway on your tiptoes. Your parents weren’t the strictest out there, but you still didn’t wanna get caught sneaking out, and with a boy, at that. After putting on your shoes, you left your house, closing the door behind you as quietly as you could.

The late October night was a bit chilly, but you had wrapped up warm enough. Sunghoon was indeed waiting for you outside, wearing a denim jacket over his gray sweatshirt and matching sweatpants. 

God, he looked good.

“Finally! Took you long enough.”

“Quit it, Sunghoon. Just tell me why you wanted to see me.”

“There’s a place I wanna show you. Come on,” he said, taking you by the hand. You felt tingles in your palm and fingers wherever his hand touched yours. How could something feel so natural yet make your heart race so at the same time?

“Are we walking there?” you asked.

“Yep, it’s not too far. We’ll be there in five minutes.”

Those five minutes felt like five seconds walking with Sunghoon. You chatted and joked around the whole way, not letting go of each other’s hand. You hadn’t even noticed you had reached your destination until he stopped walking.

“Here we are,” he said, facing the building, which made you turn in the direction he was looking.

“The ice rink? What are we doing here?” you asked, confused. It was 11:30 pm; surely, the rink would be closed.

“You’ll see!” he said, heading towards the entrance. To your surprise, he pulled out a key from his pockets and opened the doors.

“What? Sunghoon! How do you have a key to the ice rink?”

“I’m chummy with the janitor. I just need to let him know when I’ll be coming and he doesn’t tell anyone,” he replied, an easy smile on his face, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. He led you first to the shoe rack, helping you find skates your size, and then to the benches next to the rink’s entrance. He knelt in front of you and helped you put on your shoes, doing the laces for you. 

He looked up at you, a glint in his eyes. “I’ve never taken anyone here, Y/N. I know your secret, so I thought I’d show you mine.”

You didn’t know what to say, surprised at the sudden confession, so you just looked at him curiously as he took ice skates from his backpack and laced them up.

He stood up, turned to you and said, “Ready?”

You followed him to the doors leading to the ice. He stepped inside without a trace of hesitation, but you were much more doubtful about your ability to stand on the ice without falling instantly. He turned around and saw you looking helpless. He took your hand in his, helping you step onto the rink. 

“Don’t worry, Y/N. As long as I’ve got you, you won’t fall.”

“Don’t let go of my hand, then,” you said pointedly.

Too focused on not slipping, you didn’t see his smile. “I wasn’t planning to.”

He helped you get your footing, skating backwards in front of you and holding both of your hands. After a few minutes on the ice, you got brave enough to skate on your own, and you miraculously managed to stay on your feet. However, after a while, your bravery turned to hubris, and you dared attempt a spin, resulting in you miserably falling on the ice, butt first. Sunghoon was worried for a second until he saw you laughing uncontrollably. You looked at him, wide-eyed, and said, “This is so much fun, Hoon.” You were so exhilarated that you hadn’t noticed the nickname slipping from your lips but the boy’s cheeks and ears turned redder than the bruise you had surely just earned yourself. Thankfully, if you commented on it, he could just blame it on the cold. 

He helped you up, and you skated on as if nothing had happened. This went on for another thirty minutes, you skating hand in hand and occasionally falling together (but most of the time, just you falling on your own). Sunghoon had been so nervous before bringing you here; he was scared you’d think his hobby was unmanly or lame, as he’d been made to feel. But seeing you have the time of your life, all his worries dissipated. This place was like a second home to him, and bringing someone into your home was always nerve-wracking, but he thought you fit perfectly in it. 

When you told him you were getting tired and wanted to sit for a while, you skated back together to the benches and he gave you some water from his bag. You sat in silence for a while, waiting for your breathing to come back to a normal pace. 

You broke the silence first. “So, why’d you take me here? Not that I’m complaining.”

He hesitated a second before speaking. "I used to come here all the time as a kid.” He didn’t look at you when he answered, keeping his gaze on his hands. “My mom would take me. She left us for another man the summer before middle school started. She left me alone with my asshole father.”

You let out a small gasp, not expecting such a confession. You placed your hand on his back for comfort and said, “I’m sorry, Sunghoon.”

He quickly glanced at you, a half-smile on his face. “Don’t be. Anyways, he had to somewhat start taking care of me now that my mom wasn’t there to do it.” He chuckled darkly. “I guess his idea of taking care of his son was forbidding him from doing the one thing he loved. He thought it was a stupid sport for a boy. He stopped all of my lessons and made me sign up for soccer, even though I hadn’t ever said I wanted to do that. I still came here from time to time, but I didn’t wanna risk getting caught. God knows what he’d have done if he saw me here.”

You weren’t sure what to say. You felt as if no words would be enough to express how his story made you feel. “I- it’s awful, what he did to you. No parent should ever make their child feel as though their passion isn’t worth it. If it’s any comfort, even though you were mostly helping me, I thought you looked ten times better on that rink than scoring any goal. And that’s saying something.”

He finally looked at you and grinned. “Thanks, Y/N.” He seemed to be thinking for a few seconds, and then continued: “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and I think that’s why it’s hard for me to open up to people and make lots of friends. I only trust Jake because I’ve known him forever and I can’t really get rid of him now,” he said with a chuckle, “and Jay, well, Jake took to him instantly in middle school so I guess I didn’t have a choice there either, and he’s not so bad anyway. The more people I let in, the more likely I am to get hurt. It’s much easier pretending I don’t wanna have anything to do with anyone than try. 

“I guess it’s also why I talked to you on that day. Sure, I ended up thinking you could help me with all those girls. But at first, when I saw someone like you, who looks like they have it all together, who’s actually the opposite in real life - no offense - it reminded me of myself. And I thought, maybe she’d understand. Which is why it was so easy to be myself around you.”

You took his hand in yours and pressed it slightly. “I’m glad you were.” You didn’t feel the need to say anything else, hoping it was enough.

“Now, your turn. What made you the person you are today?” he asked with a grin, trying to approach lightheartedly this heavy subject, which you appreciated.

“It’s all about making people think you’re someone else, isn’t it? Because, depending on who you are, they’ll treat you differently. I found that out as a kid, because I, too, have a tragic childhood backstory.” He gasped jokingly.

“It’s not as bad as yours, so sorry about that. Back in primary school, I already had this… attitude that I have today. I had quite the ego, and I didn’t want anyone doing better than me at school. I didn’t care about how I looked, if I was the prettiest girl in class or had the cutest shoes. I was the smarty-pants of the class, basically, and a lot of the kids teased me for that. But I also didn’t let myself get trampled over, and fought back, quite aggressively at that, so I was somehow the nerd and the troublemaker at the same time. I didn’t have the best reputation, but I did have a friend. Jay. Or Jongseong, at the time, before he got too cool for his real name,” you joked. “The thing is, I didn’t see him as a friend. Sure, I was only eight or nine, but I really liked him. And the day I was planning on confessing, I saw him hold hands with the prettiest girl in our class. So I never told him, and then he left for the US a few months later.

“During the time he was gone, I had a complete makeover and actually started caring about my appearance, especially when middle school started. So now I had academic validation from teachers, which I had craved since forever, and both female and male validation from all the girls telling me how pretty I was and all the guys liking me. The people who were in my primary school and went to the same middle school told them how I used to be, but nobody believed them, and if they did, they didn’t care, so everybody just gradually forgot about it. And I just got addicted to the validation, which is why I always studied harder and tried to be prettier, even when it turned into a complete lie. I thought that if I could make everyone believe I was perfect, then it didn’t matter what I was like in real life, so at home, I just let myself completely go. And even now that I’m aware of all of this, I still can’t stop.”

Sunghoon looked at you like you had just slapped him. “So, you used to have a crush on Jay?”

You looked at him in exasperation. “Seriously, Hoon? That’s what you get from everything I just told you?”

He smiled shyly. “Sorry. Thank you for telling me.” You sat there in comfortable silence for another few minutes, still hand in hand. Then, Sunghoon got up, grin on his face.

“Wanna see something cool?” You nodded at him, returning his grin. He headed back inside the rink.

You thought he was gonna show off by doing some fancy trick. But he started gliding on the ice, and you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. He took long strides that looked as natural to him as walking. He spinned one, two, three times, and continued skating as though it was nothing. You were completely mesmerized. You already thought he was out-of-this-world beautiful, but his beauty was brought to another level when he skated. His elegant moves rendered you breathless. When he skated back towards you, you were looking at him with only awe and admiration in your eyes. 

After what he’d told you and what he’d just shown you, you couldn't help but get a little emotional. You engulfed him in a hug as soon as he’d stepped out of the rink, your arms around his neck and his naturally coming to your waist. Your hands came up to his cheeks as you leaned back to properly look at him.

“That was- wow. That was amazing, Sunghoon. Thank you for showing me.” You could see the gratefulness in his eyes. There was something else there, and whatever it was, you knew you were looking back at him with as much of it. It was only you two in the building, but it might as well have been the two of you in the whole world. 

All too similarly as in your room, his gaze went from your eyes to your lips, and you couldn’t help but mirror that. This was the perfect moment. You inched your face closer, letting him close the gap between you. Your lips touched and it was as if everything fell into place. The kiss was shy at first, neither of you sure what to do, your mouths moving at a slow but steady pace. But as your hands traveled from his cheeks, to his jaw and down to his neck, and you felt him sigh in the kiss, something unclicked in you, making you want more. You deepened the kiss, and he returned it with just as much force. Your right hand came to grab at the nape of his hair and his hands gripped your waist tighter. After minutes or hours, you broke the kiss in need of some air. Your eyes met again and you smiled at him, relieved it had finally happened. 

You thought he’d have a similar reaction, but he suddenly looked panicked. Realization hit him like a truck. He liked you. Far too much. And even if the kiss and these past weeks told him you might like him back, it scared him. He’d unlocked his heart for you but couldn’t let you keep the key. Otherwise, he’d let you open it more and more and more until there he was completely bare in front of you, and you decided you didn’t like what you’d found and left him. Just like his mom did. Just like everyone eventually does. Just like his dad never even tried.

He took a step back. His panic was rubbing off on you. You called out his name, but he quickly got his bag and said, “Sorry, Y/N, I have to go. I’ll um- I’ll see you.” He took a few steps, turned around, and said, “I think you should take the bus tomorrow morning. Sorry.”

He started walking away. A few steps before he’d be out of your view, he turned back around. He hated the look on your face, how sad, confused and helpless it was all at once. Above all, he hated that he was the reason behind it. But he told himself it was better to leave you now than be left in a few months when you got bored of him, and started walking again without another word.

—

You walked home alone. It was a dark November night, and you were shivering from the cold and from sadness. Try as hard as you might, you couldn’t figure out why Sunghoon had reacted like that. The past month had gone so well, you were only getting closer and more comfortable with each other. The only logical conclusion you could come to was that kissing you had made him realize he didn’t like you. Thankfully, you didn’t live too far from the ice rink and you got home in five minutes. Lost in your thoughts, you couldn’t even be bothered to be quiet closing the front door and walking to your room, and you woke Sunoo up.

At first, he looked like he was about to scold you for making so much noise; but upon seeing your disheveled state, he started worrying. 

“Y/N? What’s wrong, why are you only coming home now? Where were you?”

You couldn’t hold it in any longer. You fell in your brother’s arms and started crying your heart out.

He held you for a little while, but not wanting to wake the others up by staying in the hallway, he said, “Come on, let’s get you in your room. You’re freezing.”

He left for a few minutes and came back with two cups of tea in his hands. He joined you on your bed. You had calmed down a bit and took a sip of the tea, already feeling warmer.

“So, tell me everything.”

And you did. Not just about what had happened at the ice rink, but everything before that: how yours and Sunghoon’s relationship was fake, which you hadn’t even told your siblings, but that it hadn’t kept you from falling for him, and how you really thought he felt the same way. When you got to the part where you told each other about your stories, Sunoo grabbed your arm in surprise, and said, “I can’t believe you told someone about that. Good for you, big sis.”

You sat in silence after a few minutes when you’d finished telling him everything, you, still reflecting on your evening, and him, trying to think of something good to say. He took a deep breath, and started: “You know, this might be completely useless, but I feel like there’s no point trying to figure out why he did that. We’re not mind readers, and assuming things will just go wrong. I think the best thing to do is just ask him tomorrow, or whenever you’re ready to face him, really.”

You looked at your brother fondly. “How can you be so stupid sometimes, yet so wise right now?”

Sunoo and you talked for another minute, but when you yawned for a good seven straight seconds, you both agreed it was time for bed. Before you fell asleep, you told yourself that tomorrow morning, you’d find Sunghoon and make him be clear with you. You at least deserved that.

—

Heeseung and Sumin were clearly surprised to see you the next morning in the bus, but you told them you didn’t want to talk about it and they didn’t push, although it very obviously had something to do with Sunghoon. As you rode the bus and psyched yourself for your conversation with him, you had no idea he was currently in the midst of a heated argument with Jay. The latter pushed him with force, making Sunghoon’s back hit the classroom wall behind him.

“What the fuck did you just say about Y/N?” Jay asked, venom in his voice and fury in his eyes.

Despite the pain, Sunghoon smirked, wanting to rile up his friend even more. “I said, Y/N’s just as stupid as all the other girls. She probably thinks she’s so much better than everybody, but in the end it was so easy making her fall for me. It was almost boring, really, how easy she was.”

Jay pushed him again. “Don’t fucking talk about her like that.”

“Aw, little Jay is getting upset over his little Y/N? You sad that the girl you like actually likes an asshole like me?”

Jay hadn’t had many reasons to get angry in his life. This was making him discover another side of himself; he didn’t know he could get this angry. He didn’t know rage could fill up his veins like that and make him want to destroy absolutely everything around him, but above all, the person in front of him who’d he considered a friend all these years. On the verge of losing control, he reared up his fist, before Sunghoon said:

“You know what’s even sadder? She used to like you, too.”

His arm dropped. “What?”

“Yeah, in primary school. Didn’t you think it was weird how different she was before and after you left? Her little heartbreak made her change everything about herself just so that people would like her. And now all she can do is lie to everyone. I pity her, really. And to think that she thought I liked her. What an idiot.”

That was the last straw. Jay punched Sunghoon square in the nose, making him stumble back a few steps until he hit the wall again. He held onto his bloody, and possibly broken, nose and looked Jay straight in the eyes, still smirking. Thinking his job was done (but not sure what the job was in the first place), he walked away, heading to the nurses’ station. The scene had gathered quite an audience outside. It was less than ten minutes to the first bell, so already quite a few students were there, but no one had dared to venture inside. Jake, arriving too late to prevent any damage, looked wide-eyed back and forth between Sunghoon walking out and Jay standing inside, fists clenched by his side and panting from anger.

Sunghoon barely spared him or anyone a glance as he left the room. What he did notice though, were a crumpled tuna-mayo sandwich and a banana milk on the floor, looking as though someone had dropped them.

What had he done?

—

You had already run back to your friends and were currently crying for the second time in twelve hours in Sumin’s arms. It was the first time ever you cried at school, and probably also in front of your friends, spare Sumin, so it was a curious sight to most; she took you to another room for privacy. 

There, you practically told her everything you had told Sunoo the night before, including the fake dating.

“Wait… so, you and Sunghoon weren’t actually dating?”

You nodded, embarrassed by your lie.

“I- Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N? How could you fool everyone like that?”

You looked up in surprise at your friend’s harsh words. You probably deserved them, but you weren’t used to hearing her speak in such a way, nor to the cold stare she was peering down at you with. 

“I don’t know… I’m really sorry…” you mumbled, ashamed.

She scoffed. “You should be. I just- I just don’t understand how you can already be living such a lie, and still add onto it. It makes me wonder how I’m still friends with you.” The bell rang right at that moment, and she got up, saying, “Let’s go to class. You wouldn’t wanna be late.”

You followed her, but you felt sick to your stomach. Usually, you could always hide your discomfort or sadness, no matter how bad your period cramps were or how serious an argument with your parents had gotten. But this time, it was too much, and fifteen minutes into the class, you asked the teacher to go to the nurse. Not used to you needing to leave class and trusting that it was for a legitimate reason, your teacher let you off and you quickly packed your bag and left. 

When you got to the nurse, you sat down in front of her and said you weren’t feeling well and wanted to go home. For the same reasons as your teacher, she said she’d let you but needed to ask you a few questions before about your general well-being. You answered them quickly, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible and just go home. 

When you finally were able to leave, you only took a few steps out of the nurse’s office before someone grabbed your wrist, making you turn around. Sunghoon, who was resting in the room next door, had heard your voice and gotten up as soon as he’d heard you leave. His nose was covered in bandages and his eye had started swelling and turning blue, and you mentally thanked Jay. You ripped your arm out of his grip and continued to walk away without a word. You were too tired to argue.

“Y/N, please, hear me out.”

This made you stop in your tracks, but you didn’t turn around. “Hear you out? I’ve already heard enough, Sunghoon. No need to explain, you made it very clear what you think of me.”

You started walking again but he doubled you and blocked your path in the narrow hallway. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry, if you’d just give me a minute-”

“I don’t care that you’re sorry, Sunghoon! Sorry doesn’t cut it. I trusted you. Actually trusted you. You out of all people should know how hard it is to do that. Or was that a lie too?” Seeing him in front of you, your sadness retreated to the back of your heart and you were left with only anger. 

“It wasn’t, I prom-”

“That doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.” You pushed past him and walked on. And this time, he let you go, even though the only thing you wanted him to do was make you stay. You so desperately wanted to hear him out and forgive him, but you knew you couldn’t do that. You had too much dignity, and it would only end up hurting you even further. 

So you didn’t shed a tear the whole way home. When you finally got to your bed, you didn’t have the energy to start crying. You fell asleep, tears quietly rolling down your face. 

—

You slept the whole day, waking up to a soft knock on your bedroom door. It was your mom, telling you Jay was here to see you. Everyone had been surprised to see you already at home when they came back from work or school, but they knew better than to wake you up.

“I’m surprised, you know. He’s gotten so handsome.”

You rolled your eyes at her. “Just tell him that I’m not feeling well and he should go home, please.”

“Oh, I’ve already tried to, honey. The boy is adamant on seeing you.”

You sighed. “Fine. Can you bring him here, then?”

A few seconds later, you heard another knock, and Jay opened the door just enough to peek his head through, asking if he could come in.

“Well, you’re already here, so might as well.”

You sat up and gestured for him to sit down on your bed.

He looked around, taking in the messiness of his surroundings. “You know, I thought your room would be much more… organized.”

“Didn’t Sunghoon tell you? I’m a big, fat liar who hides the truth from everyone,” you said sarcastically.

“About that… did you hear everything he said?” You hummed in response. “I’m so sorry you had to hear that, Y/N. I don’t know what happened to him. He’d never said anything like that about you, and then, all of a sudden… What an asshole. I can’t believe he was my friend.”

“Was? You shouldn’t end your friendship over me, Jay.”

“Are you kidding me? I can’t be friends with a guy who talks about anyone like that, let alone you.” After a few minutes of silence, he asked, “Did um- did anything happen, for him to say those things?”

You sighed deeply. “I’ve already told this story twice in the past few days, so I’ll give you the short version, but basically, we were fake dating, and I started really liking him, and I thought he did too, until we kissed, and he left me completely stranded, and then the next day I hear him say all those things.”

Silence again. You suddenly remembered something Sunghoon had said that you had completely put to the side: Jay likes you. At least, according to Sunghoon. You didn’t know if it was true, but judging by his disappointed face, it looked like it. Seemed like all of your friendships were going to hell.

“Oh,” he simply said.

“Yeah…” you murmured back. 

“Well,” he turned to you, “that just confirms to me that he’s an asshole. Cause no guy in his right mind would turn you down, Y/N. I know I wouldn’t.”

He looked straight at you as he said that. Yep. Jay liked you. It was a nice feeling, but it was also about ten years too late. 

“Do you- do you know what I’m trying to say, Y/N?” he asked, gulping.

You hesitated for a second before saying, ”I think I do, Jay. I have to say, your timing isn’t great.”

He chuckled a bit lifelessly. “Yeah, I guess right now isn’t the best time to say this.”

“I also meant, you know what Sunghoon said, earlier? That I liked you before you left for the US? That was true.”

He looked at you, mouth agape. “Oh, was it…” His head hung down in defeat. “I can’t believe I’ve been such an idiot. I feel like it’s my fault that Sunghoon hurt you like this. If only I’d been just a bit earlier…”

“None of this is your fault, Jay. Please don’t think that. It’s mine for thinking Sunghoon could actually like me back.”

Jay took a deep breath. “God, as much as it hurts me to say, Y/N, I think he did. Or does, actually.” You furrowed your brows at him. “Sunghoon, he has this thing where he goes into retreat mode as soon as he gets too close, too personal. It’s a stupid defense mechanism, and when he realizes he’s let you in a bit too far, he snaps everything closed and hurts you before you can hurt him. At least, that’s how he sees it, I guess. He’s done it to Jake and me a couple times, and it takes some getting used to, but he stops after a while. When he knows for sure that you won’t hurt him.”

You didn’t know what to do with this information, so you just stayed quiet, which Jay took as a sign to go on.

“I’m not saying forgive him. Believe me, if I could smack him into space and never let him see you again, I would. But I think maybe, just maybe, and you don’t have to if you don’t want to, hear him out.”

You smiled at him. “You’re a good friend, Jay. And I don’t mean just to me but to Sunghoon as well. I hope you know that.”

Jay tried to ignore the pinch in his heart at the word ‘friend’ and smiled back.

“Oh, there’s another thing I needed to show you.” His tone was suddenly much more apprehensive, and he looked both sorry and scared to say whatever he was about to say.

He pulled out his phone and searched the thing in question. Before showing you anything, he warned, “Nobody knows who did this. It was sent out to the whole school on a library computer-”

Expecting the worst, you snatched Jay’s phone from his hands. And there they were. Pictures of you from your primary school years, recent pictures of you in your comfortable clothes, at home or in close proximity to your house. Sent out to the whole school, as Jay had said. You were horror-struck. You could feel all the years you had spent perfecting your image and maintaining it crumbling around you as though they were paper. Charismatic smiles and trendy accessories had been your brick and mortar, but a sledgehammer had hit them, destroying your foundations further with each swing.

And that sledgehammer had a name: Bae Sumin. You’d figured it out in an instant. You’d been friends your whole life, she was the only one apart from your family to know about your true face; only she would have access to such photos. You knew it wasn’t Sunghoon because the pictures he had taken that day weren’t there.

If what had happened with Sunghoon had made a crack in your heart, then this had shattered it into a million pieces. The person who you’d trusted the most, who you’d thought would never do anything to hurt you, had done the worst thing anybody could do to you.

“Y/N- are you okay?” Jay asked tentatively. You had forgotten he was there.

“Um, yeah, yeah- I think I just need to be alone for now, if that’s okay.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying a while.”

“Sorry, Jay, but I’m sure.”

He looked at you for a few seconds. He’d never felt more distance between you two, not even when you had been oceans apart. “Alright. Call me if you need anything. I mean it.”

You smiled a tiny, tiny smile in response and he left your room. On his way out, your mom hugged him, saying it was nice to see him again and that he was welcome anytime, and he thanked her.

As he walked home, he couldn’t help but bitterly laugh to himself. Even when he confessed, he hadn’t been able to say the words he’d wanted to tell you this whole time: I love you.

—

You didn’t go to school for the rest of the week, the only stain on your perfect attendance record. All of your friends had tried to reach you, asking if you were okay, and you replied in a few small messages, telling them you’d be back when you could. Other people had contacted you, asking if those pictures were real. You obsessed over your school’s gossip Instagram account: the past few days, all the posts had been dedicated to your pictures and Sunghoon’s and Jay’s fight. You had ten missed calls from Sunghoon and seventeen from Sumin. You ignored each and everyone of them, only giving Jay, Heeseung, Sieun and Jiung the time of day. 

On Sunday morning you woke up, already dreading going to school the next day. You could already picture the nasty stares and whispers you’d get in the hallways. You thought about facing Sumin and Sunghoon again, and you thought the worst thing possible would be to have to do it at school. So you decided to wait until they called you again, as you knew they would, and finally picked up their call.

Sumin contacted you first, at eleven in the morning. You agreed to have her come over to your house to talk. When she appeared at your front door, you realized you weren’t sad, angry, or disappointed; you were just confused. You didn’t understand why she’d done it. Looking at her face, you couldn’t imagine her sitting down at that computer and sending out those pictures, writing the comment This is what Kim Y/N is like in real life.

You let her in and walked to your room, your siblings’ eyes burning holes into her soul the whole time. You sat down on your bed, sighed, and said, “Go ahead.”

“Thank you for letting me come here and explain myself. I don’t know what took over me, Y/N. Well actually, I guess I do. Jealousy, as stupid as it sounds.” She chuckled at herself. “I’ve always tried to hide it, but I’ve always been a bit jealous of you, Y/N. You’re the prettiest girl, the smartest, the nicest, and I’m just the best friend. That’s all anyone knows me as. Everybody loves you, yet I know it’s all a facade. And I’m not saying that to be mean, because I know you’re an amazing person even without all the glamor. And when I saw you with Sunghoon, I mean, you saw how I was. I didn't fight with my parents. I was so, so jealous. You hadn’t shown interest in any guy since Choi Soobin and all of a sudden you were dating Park freaking Sunghoon, and he knew about your quote-on-quote ‘real’ face, so I couldn’t even comfort myself that he didn’t know who you really were.”

“Wait- why would you be jealous of Sunghoon and me?”

She took a deep breath. “You remember, freshman year, when I confessed to him and he turned me down?”

“Yeah, but I thought that was in the past.”

“Do you also remember that guy I told you about later on, who I’d gotten really close with but completely shut me off when I thought we were about to start dating?”

Something clicked, but you didn’t want to face it. “Yeah…”

“Well, surprise surprise, they were the same person. Ha. I got mad at you for lying to me, but I did the same thing.”

“Sumin… Why did you never tell me?”

“I’m not sure. When we were in that talking stage, I could’ve bragged about it to anyone, you know, that Park Sunghoon was actually being nice to me, but I didn’t. I wanted to keep him my little secret. And then I confessed, and we all know how that ended.” A beat passes as she takes a deep breath, shaking the bad memory away. “I am over it, it was more than three years ago. Maybe there was a nice part of me that thought he had changed, because you seemed happy with him, and I didn’t want to ruin that. But maybe there was another part that hoped he might hurt you like he did me. And that’s such a shitty thing to do, I know. I should’ve told you when I saw you get involved with him. I can’t believe after all these years, he did the exact same thing to you that he did to me. What an asshole.”

You were staring at the wall in front of you, feeling empty. Why did everything have to happen at the same time? You were just drained of any willpower.

“This doesn’t explain the pictures,” you said plainly.

“Right. When you told me you were fake dating, I guess something snapped in me. I couldn’t believe it was another lie, I thought we had gone past the stage where you hid things from me. So that, plus jealousy, I just went a bit crazy, I think. I really wasn’t thinking, Y/N, and I promise you with all my heart that if I could go back and undo everything, I would. I’m so, so, so sorry. I regretted it as soon as I hit post.”

You looked at your friend and knew she was telling the truth. You believed her, and yet you couldn’t quite look past it.

“I know you are, Minie. It’s just… what am I gonna do now at school? Everybody must hate me.”

“I won’t lie, some people haven’t been saying the nicest things, especially Park’s fangirls. But God, Y/N, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but who cares? They’ll talk about it for a week, two at most. Your life at school won’t be the same, but you’ll still have all of us. I’ve talked to Heeseung, Sieun and Jiung, and they’re not the tiniest bit mad at you. They’re just worried to death. A bit confused too, but mostly worried. And you know what? Even Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul, who I’ve literally never talked to before, came to ask me how you were. Jay and Sunghoon are barely on talking terms but they always team up when it comes to practically verbally assaulting anyone they overhear talking behind your back. Jake has to hold them back sometimes but he always glares at those people too. You don’t wanna see Jake Sim glare, I promise you. It’s so scary,” she says in a confessional tone, visibly shuddering just at the thought of angel-faced Jake looking angry, and you can’t help the small chuckle that escapes your lips.

Her face softens as she places a warm palm over your hand. “We all love you and care for you so much, so screw literally every single other person in that school. They don’t matter.”

There was something refreshing about Sumin’s words. The idea that you could live your life without worrying about other people had always been in the back of your head, but you always told yourself you were in too deep to go back. Now that you had been forced to, you understood why you felt so empty: the immense weight of having to keep up a persona, had been lifted off your shoulders. You would only have to carry yourself, and not a second person, which made you feel weightless. You’d just have to get used to it and come to enjoy that feeling.

You took your friend’s hands in yours. “I want to forgive you, I promise I do. And I will. I just don’t know if I can do that right away. I’ll need some getting used to this new life.”

“I completely understand, Y/N.”

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you around anymore. And you know what, I’m sure one day I’ll look back at this moment and thank you.”

—

Sumin left a few hours later and you were now waiting for Sunghoon to call you. You waited and waited, until your phone rang with a small ding: he wasn’t calling you, but had sent you a message. A very, very long message. You were very tempted to reply with a I ain’t reading all that. I’m happy for u tho. Or sorry that happened, but you thought it might not be the appropriate moment. 

You opened the message, which had come after thirty unread texts, and started reading, slightly appalled by the lack of paragraphing.

Dear Y/N, 

Is this how you start a long text? I would much rather be telling you this than writing it, but someone hasn’t been picking up my calls. Sorry. I probably shouldn’t be giving you much attitude right now. Where do I even start? The ice rink, I guess. Asshole move #1, obviously. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you like that. That kiss was really really good and I really really liked it. Because I really really like you. And I think I’ve known that for a while now, but the kiss confirmed it. And I was happy for a second, but then I panicked. There’s no other word for it, I panicked. I’ve never liked someone this much before and I was so scared. I still am. I’m terrified shitless. But I know that my fear is completely irrational, and that you’re literally the best person on Earth, which is why I’m writing this. I know it’s cliché to say my mom left me and now I think everybody will. And my first reaction to that is to hurt someone before they can hurt me, which is what I did. But as much as I wanna fight it, it’s always there at the back of my mind. You can even ask Sumin about it. Should I be saying that? I feel like I might as well. I was an asshole to her, and I’m so angry at myself that I did it again with you. I didn’t mean a single word of what I said about you to Jay. Not a single one. You’re not stupid, you’re the smartest and most amazing girl I know, and I never pretended I liked you, because I never had to. I think I just wanted Jay to punch me, really. I wanted him to run to you and make sure you were okay, because I was too scared to do that myself. But I regret doing that so much. I hope you know that. And bless Jay, he’s a real one. He told me to get my shit together and talk to you. I can tell he’s still mad at me but still wants to make things good between us. I was already trying to call you before he said that, but I probably would’ve said something stupid that would’ve made things worse. And I can’t afford that, Y/N, I really, really can’t. You get me like no one does and being with you is the most liberating thing ever, I’m never myself more than when I’m around you. You just bring out the best in me. Well, except for that thing I did. Which I promise I’ll never do again. I am so extremely sorry, and if you wanna hate me for the rest of your life, I completely get it. But I would also be very happy if you didn’t. I hope I’ll see you tomorrow at school. I really miss you.

Your Hoon

You wiped away the tears that had formed in your eyes and typed back:

You’re such an idiot, Park.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

—

The next day, as you imagined, was mostly hell. You’d decided not to dress up as usual: there was no point trying to look good after this, it would only make you seem more ridiculous. You put less makeup on, not bothering to hide your eye bags, and didn’t bling your outfit up with accessories or fancy shoes, opting for your worn-out Converse you’d had since your feet stopped growing. On the bus, where people usually ignored each other, you could already feel the gossip being told about you. You avoided people’s gaze like the plague and sat down next to Sumin. You laid your head on her shoulder and sighed.

“I already wanna go home.”

She laughed, “I know. We’ll be with you the whole day, so don’t worry.”

You spent the bus ride catching up on what had happened when you were gone (nothing much), and although there was some awkwardness there, it was nice being with your best friend. When Heeseung got on, he practically screamed your name and suffocated you by means of greeting.

“I’m so glad you’re back. You know, I think you look really cute in those pictures. All these people are just jealous they don’t look as good as you even when you don’t dress up.”

Sumin shot daggers with her eyes at him and he cringed, saying, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”

You reassured him, saying that it was fine since it was all you were going to be hearing the next few days. “Might as well get used to it.”

It was somewhat easy to ignore the stares coming your way when you walked into school with Heeseung and Sumin flanked at your sides like bodyguards. When you reached your classroom, Jiung engulfed you in a hug and Sieun was almost crying. How the hell had you gotten such sweet friends? 

In the hallways, some people tried to get reactions out of you by calling you out, yelling liar! or you can’t fool us anymore. You couldn’t ignore them as they were very much in your face. When at lunch, a table of girls next to you was very clearly talking about you in the nastiest way possible, you took your tray and were ready to get up and leave, but a very familiar voice stopped you in your tracks.

“You think it’s funny talking about someone like that?” Sunghoon was practically screaming at the girls. “You think you’re any better than her? I bet you do the exact same thing but are just glad someone else got called out for it.” You weren’t sure if that made you feel much better, but you appreciated the effort.

“As a matter of fact,” he continued as he pulled out a chair and got up on it, his voice getting louder, “I’ve got something I wanna say to everyone.”

Somebody whooped (probably Jake) and you tried to get Sunghoon to come down from the chair, but he just smiled his radiant smile at you and turned to look at the students in the cafeteria.

“All of you who judge Y/N are hypocrites. You wanna tell me you’re all as perfect at home as you are at school? That you never relax a little bit? Sure, she pushed it a bit far- (hey! you grunted in protest), but nobody shows who they truly are to everyone. We all judge each other in this stupid high school, so Y/N did what she had to do and protected herself. If anything, this should make you respect her even more. And it’s not like she did anything wrong to you. She didn’t use her popularity against anyone, so you better not use this against her.”

From the crowded tables in the cafeteria, somebody yelled “Nobody cares!”

Somebody, whose voice you thought you recognized as Jungwon’s, joined in: “Yeah, what is it about you seniors and thinking the whole school revolves around you? We still like Y/N!”

Sunghoon, taken aback, simply said, “Oh. Alright. Well, you better keep it that way then!” and got off his chair. 

He turned to you, already a pleading look on his face and said “Y/N, I’m so sorry-”

But you cut him off right away. “I know, Sunghoon, I know. I think this proved it.”

“I really wanna make it up to you. So just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it. Buy you a house, move to another country, you name it. I’ll do it.”

You chuckled at him. “You don’t need to go that far.” You looked down, then back at him. “I think I just want to pretend like nothing happened. Like it was all a huge, awful fever dream. Even if I can’t forgive and forget right away, I don’t think I want you out of my life while I figure it out.”

He let out the biggest sigh you’d ever heard. “My God, you don’t know how happy to hear that, Y/N. Thank you so much.”

“Thank you for defending me just now. That was… definitely something.”

He smiled down at you. "I did my best. Too bad those sophomores ruined everything.”

You could feel eyes burning into your sides, so you turned your head a bit and noticed that your friends and the table of girls that had just been gossiping were staring at you, some of them teary-eyed. When they saw you notice them, they all turned back to each other and pretended that they were having some other conversation. You and Sunghoon chuckled, and you realized how much you had missed him.

Yes, Sunghoon and Sumin had hurt you, but you were a strong believer of second chances. Even if it was hard at first to stop thinking about Sunghoon’s voice when he had said those things or Sumin’s intentions when she posted the pictures, they’d made it up to you in any way they could and you’d reciprocated that by being completely honest. No more trying to look perfect all the time; you were human and were allowed to have low moments. Your grades even dropped by two points, because you’d started spending more time with your friends than with your textbooks. You’d spent whole Saturdays at the ice rink with your now real-boyfriend Sunghoon, and had invited the whole crew. Heeseung was surprisingly good at it. You had even caught your little sister Yeeun on a date with the cute Japanese boy she’d talked about. 

As promised, Jay came once a week or every two weeks to have dinner with your family; Sunghoon always insisted on being present. The tension between them had turned into friendly competition, and you could tell the two friends were glad to have each other back. 

You’d never felt so free. Your relationship with Sunghoon felt like uncharted territory and home at the same time; so daunting and exciting yet so comfortable and relaxing. You kept the PDA at a minimum at school, but when it was just the two of you, your whole body never failed to heat up, even in the cold of the ice rink. He had been nicknamed the ice prince, but he was so, so warm.

In the end, everybody found out. But you had Park Sunghoon by your side, so it was alright.

permanent taglist: @zreamy @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 @chaechae-23 @baekhyuns-lipchain @hyuckslvr @vernonburger (ask to be removed/added!)

© asahicore on Tumblr, 2023. please do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works. support your creators by reblogging and leaving feedback!

[astonmartinii]

bite the hand | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem musician!reader [face claim: clairo + clairo, boygenius and taylor swift music]

having fans are great, but sometimes it goes to far and you have to bite the hands that feed you

MASTERLIST | TIPS

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 913,551 others

tagged: beabadoobee

yourusername: howdy ladies, gentlemen and all that's in between, it's single release day. i had so much fun on this track with bea and getting to pour all of my love for maxy onto such a cute melody... hope you all enjoy my loves x

view all comments

user1: YES THANK YOU MOM THIS IS JUST WHAT I NEEDED TODAY

landonorris: how many letters in devoured?

yourusername: ATE 💅

landonorris: ate and left NO crumbs

maxverstappen1: why oh why did i ever introduce you two

yourusername: because you love us both?

maxverstappen1: i sure love you, jury is out on lando

landonorris: boooooooooo

user2: ugh if y/n had to date an f1 driver why couldn't she go for one of the hot ones like lando or charles?

user3: for real like bro he just drags her down

user4: you can't be serious? he's a professional athlete at the top of his sport and by what they show us a massive softy who loves y/n? why would we want anything else for her?

liked by yourusername

user5: y/n will NOT stand for any max bashing idk why you guys try it every time

maxverstappen1: so unbelievably talented and the artist of her generation

yourusername: maybe it's because i have a top notch muse ?

maxverstappen1: NO NO IT'S ALL YOU YOU ARE THE ARTIST I AM JUST LUCKY TO BE IN YOUR VICINITY

yourusername: i am the lucky one baby

danielricciardo: leave your cute shit offline i already have to hear it all of the time let me be on instagram

yourusername: nope love my boyfriend too much

maxverstappen1: nope love my girlfriend too much

user6: they're so insufferable i love them

user7: this song bangs so much more when you pretend it's not about ... him

user8: bro is acting like max verstappen ran over his puppy

user7: sorry i don't want a GREAT artist and BEAUTIFUL woman being dragged down by THAT

user9: you are insane, you do not know y/n, you enjoy her music, that doesn't give you the right to have power over things in her personal life

user10: you people are why this fanbase has a bad name and before long y/n will get fed up too

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 829,043 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: the off weekend spent right

view all comments

user13: i need a man so obsessed with me that all he does is post my face

user14: crazy that all this guy does is wax lyrical about how much he loves her and she's like never at his races ... interesting

user15: and her weirdly entitled fanbase say he doesn't deserve her when she clearly doesn't support him as much as he supports her

yourusername: i love you and our soft little weekends, i wanna do it all the time :(

maxverstappen1: gosh our day jobs are really quite unconventional i guess we should just retire to a remote island to live on a small farm?

yourusername: you said it not me i just wanna be anywhere with you

maxverstappen1: i love you <3

user16: RETIRE TO A REMOTE ISLAND? SOMEONE TELL THIS RAT THAT IF HE IS THE REASON WE DON'T GET MUSIC WE WILL RIDE AT DAWN

user17: babe have you ever thought that maybe the reason he said that he wants to retire away from everyone because you people stick your noses in all the time

danielricciardo: @yourusername a soft weekend you say? how many hours did max spend on the sim?

yourusername: a solid ten but he even let me have a go

danielricciardo: oh wow that man really is in love

maxverstappen1: i think she'd rival a couple of you with some practice, i'm working on getting her to join redline

user18: ugh this is so annoying... preaching like you like spending time with your girlfriend and then spend it all playing a video game and letting her have one go?

user19: the sim is something f1 drivers use to train? if anything max probably shouldn't have let y/n have a go she could've accidentally changed the set up or other things

user20: i'm seeing charles and lewis training this off weekend and he just lies in bed with this girl? he really needs to ditch her to stay at the top

user21: literally two comments up is them talking about him training on the sim the jealousy is insane from both fans at this point

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 893,442 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: happy to take home another win in mexico, i love this track and am forever thankful to this team and my loved ones.

view all comments

user25: holy shit idk what f1 can do but the paddock looked insane today there's no way that is safe for the drivers and personnel.

user26: there's so many videos of people rushing max and although some of them look like max fans who are just excited but there were a lot of very rude rival fans trying to get too close for comfort

yourusername: forever proud of you !! you're like jimmy and sassy with zoomies on crack <3

maxverstappen1: that is the highest of the high compliment thank you my love

yourusername: champagne is on me girlypops no expense spared for the love of my life

redbullracing: do we all qualify as girlypops ???

yourusername: of course !! don't think i didn't notice the supply of vegan pizza rolls you truly are the lactose intolerant allies of the grid

user27: can she stop spending all her hard earned money on this scrub that just uses her

user28: bro makes millions in a year he doesn't NEED her but that doesn't mean he can't want her? you guys are crazy

user29: some of these fans need to do some serious evaluation, drivers are not zoo animals, they are people and deserve respect and that includes respect to their personal space.

user30: for real like why was brad basically having to act as a body guard for max and y/n

user31: this was such a dangerous event for max and y/n. they're both very famous individuals and should be able to move around the paddock without being in danger.

user32: max joked about getting a body guard for this weekend but i think he should seriously consider it especially is y/n is coming to more races while she's not touring

danielricciardo: it has been brought to my attention that y/n has stated that she will spare no expense, i am making a formal enquiry into whether this will cover my bar tab?

yourusername: i will within reason but only because your bffs with maxy and will drink the fruity lil cocktails with me

danielricciardo: REAL men drink cocktails

maxverstappen1: do NOT disrespect the humble gin and tonic on my post

user33: i'm glad they're in high spirits after the shenanigans in the paddock today and the booing towards max :(

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, maxverstappen1 and 1,442,776 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: there is no full way to articulate my feelings right now. my fans have to respect my personal relationships and my boundaries. i appreciate your support but you have to understand that i am not your personal friend and you do not have the right to my personal life. i also understand that in sport, there are a lot of heightened emotions, but drivers do not owe you their safety. this is something i have felt for a long time since max and i became a public couple and the onslaught of hate came for him. you may say that it comes from a good place, or for my best interests, but the manner in which some 'fans' have expressed their 'worries' is unacceptable. i do not want to bite the hand that feeds me, but there's only so many slaps me and my loved ones can take from the hand.

bite the hand is out on all streaming platforms. please listen closely a re-evaluate your relationships with your favourite artists, thank you.

comments are not available on this post.

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,220,664 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: i love you and i will never let other people tell me when i'm not enough get in my head again. we both appreciate our support and acknowledge that we would be nowhere without it. but our relationships are ours, please respect this.

comments are not available on this post

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,344,229 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: okay sad songs are important but it's now time for me to sing my wee little heart out about how much i love you and how i know we were always made for each other.

i love you maxy, invisible string is all about my muse. out now.

view all comments

user41: IT BANGS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

user42: ffs i guess we're stuck with this man for life now ...

user43: LISTEN TO BITE THE HAND AND BANG YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL AND HEAR THE PINBALLS OF YOUR BRAIN GOING CRAZU

user44: speak your truth sis

maxverstappen1: ISN'T IT JUST SO PRETTY TO THINK THAT ALL ALONG THERE WAS SOME INVISIBLE STRING TYING YOU TO ME

maxverstappen1: so true, you make me believe in soulmates YOU ARE MY SOULMATE I LOVE YOU

yourusername: i love you to the moon and to saturn for real

yourusername: and that thread of gold is made from all of your trophies LET'S GO RAHHHHHHHH I'M SO PROUD OF YOU

maxverstappen1: the gold of that grammy @thegrammys yall heard bags?

user45: the way they're each others wags and completely embrace it

user46: i love that they're still their goofy asses they don't give a shit abou t yall

user47: y/n dropped a heart wrenching track and immediately went ... but hey i'm SUPER happy and that's all you're going to hear

landonorris: so like can y/n remix the dutch anthem so we can actually bop every weekend

yourusername: i kinda wanna marry the king of the netherlands so maybe not

landonorris: you broke up ?????

yourusername: no you dumbass max is the king of the netherlands

maxverstappen1: not factually but i do have a medal from the royal family so same thing

landonorris: why do you guys have to clown on me every time

yourusername: you're like our baby brother it's our duty

maxverstappen1: sorry not sorry

user48: you could never make me hate them they're made for each other

user49: finally bite the hand shamed the crazy bitches into finally shutting the fuck up

note: i love bite the hand i actually fear it might be my fave boygenius song and i recommend it to everyone. i actually did my university dissertation on parasocial relationships with athletes so like i feel like a good couple of sports fans could do with a listen to bite the hand. hope yall enjoyed and had a good weekend !! (chelsea gave me a heart attack but what's new, even though i was too sick to go to the game:()

[weebsinstash]

I know the show isn't out yet but Stayed Gone is stuck in my head and I'm chugging my yandere Vox juice so hard right now. I think he has the capacity to be absolutely insufferable

---for starters THE SPYING POTENTIAL WITH THIS MAN. You're telling me he can directly plug himself in to the city power grid and see through all televisions, potentially even phones and computers too? Could he put himself on your phone and start going through your texts? Could he even just put himself on your phone real quick while you're sleeping to check in on you? You couldn't even have privacy in your own home because of whatever screens are around he could potentially shoot himself to or watch you through. Imagine just being in your apartment completely alone and he's suddenly on your tv. Like what if you had just been sitting there topless or with your dick out or something or 👀 I mean. He could see so much, really...

---God honestly like. You know I keep mentioning the Instagram without ever attaching pics or anything because I'm on mobile and I'd have to use the hazbin Instagram archive blogs here on tumblr to go find them back like, you know Val would openly post the meanest shit, would literally post Vox's face being busted up because he woke Val up from a nap or i think it was he literally just brought him the wrong soda (which to be fair was taken from Velvet and was half empty), and then you go over to Vox's account and his pic was taping his pieces back on while being really frustrated and kinda lowkey looking like he would cry

Like Val's out here "women are stupid also men are stupid too" and talking about how he adopted a dog and killed it within like 48 hours and here's Vox celebrating his pet's birthday with cake and a party like. Why are these men together. Why. Why. Don't get me wrong I love to be the involuntary third in a toxic codependency but--

look all I'm saying is... do any of you get really really upset when you see someone being mistreated, especially more so a friend of yours?

READER JUST LOSING THEIR SHIT GETTING FERAL ANGRY SHOUTING AND SCREAMING AT VAL BECAUSE HE PULLS SOME SHIT and like that's IT for you because 1. Valentino might like actually backhand you one as well, do you think he wears rings so it hurts, 2. Vox sees you defending him and like, it's based on your own preferences really but if he wasn't already gaga this CEMENTS it and 3. especially if he watches you have to take a blow for trying to stick up for him. Like what if you cry. I have a low pain threshold, I'd be sniveling and crying at the least. Valentino storms off and Vox is helping peel you off the floor cause you curled up into a ball or some shit and he's sitting there thinking "wow they suck at this but they still did it for me 🥺"

---during his song with Alastor, it's a little confusing because they show an actual camera crew when he's turning the TVs on, but i think it's pretty clear that he can control whatever the screens show visually, thus his little zany sketches and being able to talk to himself and at one point, showed the visual of himself blocking the radio Alastor was projecting on right next door. I can just see him using this to kind of.... fuck with you, really! Or do whatever he wants? He's trying to suck up to you and he's surrounded by roses, or you're his co-host/guest host and he thinks your joke was funny and gives a little audience laughter as a treat

Or you know... you're running from him down the street, passing all these different screens and displays as they power on and show things like, him "jumping in front of you" while demanding you stop or, trying to show some kind of blackmail publicly, or just, begging you to just ACCEPT HIM and showing you all the fun things he could do with you, "cmon, I said I was sorry, stop freaking the fuck out! We can- we can do that thing you've always wanted to do, what about that?!" as he tries to project you two doing something fun, but most importantly, doing it TOGETHER. You're running from him terrified and he's showing you images of like you two smiling and happy or, it becomes scarier as he's more desperate

"Don't-don't make me do something fucked up!! I'm serious, STOP RUNNING" and he's like freaking out, showing shit of trying to hold you down, tying you up, and/or shoving you into a locked room

Sudden thoughts of "what if the more emotional and unstable he becomes, the less he can control his intrusive thoughts and shows his more impulsive darker desires". He's tweeking and the screen glitches and you briefly think you see yourself completely restrained, blindfolded, gagged--

---he's just like OBVIOUSLY so prideful but also immature and whiny ("who gives a shit about alastor?" Well you, mr hes just quietly minding his own business and I'LL start beef because i feel threatened and STILL LOSE, like awww my poor little pogchamp got publicly humiliated in an argument HE started out of nowhere, he's my little sad wet baby lmaoooo) and we already know his relationship with Val can become physically abusive, so, you pair him staying in that kind of relationship, being codependent, with this personality of his, and I can just see.... ACTUALLY FUCKING TRIGGERED LIKE LITERALLY CRYING UPSET VOX BECAUSE YOU REJECTED HIM like he's pissed he's hurt he's lonely he's heartbroken and HELL NO IS HE GONNA ACCEPT THIS

Vox would be over here proudly claiming on his TV show that NO HE REJECTED Y O U, not the other way around! He's not upset! He's totally fine! Meanwhile everyone watching can tell this man is manic and visibly hotboxing copium, "I didn't even really like you anyways!!.... no, I mean, shit, fuck, COMMERCIAL BREAK--" *cut to technical difficulties screen because the man is CRYINGGG*

-- Valentino and Reader bonding over teasing Vox and making him flustered and of course, obviously, the inverse. I still kinda like the idea of "they both think you're cute but like nothing exciting until one night they bump into you unplanned and you're all dressed up". Like Val is from the 70s or 80s so they go to a roller rink disco whatever kinda place because I'm sure the coke game there is INSANE and you're just like, swaying your hips spinning around to Let It Whip or September or something dressed in some shorts that make your ass look just right 🤌

You're sneaking back into the studio after a night out and they're both lounging somewhere and Val's like "uhhhh who is THIS coming in without saying hi to Daddy?" and you pull your sunglasses down like "SIR??? 😳" And now HE'S flustered because he didn't know that was you and Vox is feeling some new kinda way because he's used to seeing you in like, your work uniform or casual wear

Val who then makes your work uniform really slutty and you have to serve him and Vox wearing it 😩❤️

---I have this thought of like lmao imagine walking down the sidewalk with Angel and seeing Vox on TV and Angel is like "ya know he can see everything outta dese things when he's plugged in" and you're like "bullshit, he couldn't possibly process that many screens at once, it'd overload his brain, he wouldnt be able to concentrate" and you're like "here I'll prove it, hey Vox, check it out you fucking dweeb" and flash him your bare titties or you MOON HIM

scenario A would be that he INSTANTLY barks out laughing, "hey Val, that dumb slut who brings you drinks just flashed me!" And he just totally shows it on the air, maybe partially censored, maybe not at all, your phone is ringing IMMEDIATELY, of COURSE it's Val, and Vox is broadcasting your mortified embarrassed expression, "our big story tonight: drunk bimbo fucks around and finds out! More updates after this word from our sponsor!" and the man will noooootttttttt stop bullying the fuck out of you afterwards, because he's got a crush on you and you're like someone weaker than him his insecure ass can punch down on

Scenario B is that he instantly turns pink and about 5 seconds later he blue screens and the entire city experiences a blackout and when he comes back on the air he's like stammering and, glancing at, it FEELS like he keeps glancing at you, but, is he really?

------

I dunno... like I'm sure Valentino is gonna wind up being unstable in his own way but I guess there's a certain, ALLURE to Vox being a little bratty and whiny while also having these very VERY handy, actually quite scary abilities and resources 👀 like boy show me what that screen do 😫💦

[elssero]

Hey darling!!! Been stalking your blog and I love it?? Like hello?

Also, since reqs seem to be open, may I ask for either some more elaboration on the store-bought Izuku drabble? (Something like a little while into the future, when reader actually falls for him?)

Or maybe a part 2 to the project partner fic with Katsuki? I read it and it just broke my heart I want him to be happy😭

No pressure for either one obviously, love ya!

hiii, yes requests are always open!! (for now at least) i will elaborate on store bought izuku, im unsure about continuing project partner rn ! elaboration on this drabble.

the sound of the door opening rings in izuku’s ears, his face perks up, body bolting around the corner leaving the kitchen into the living space- he needs to see you immediately.

the weekdays are insufferable for izuku- he’s forced to spend the majority of the day alone as he runs around cleaning your space and cooking you a meal as he awaits your return.

his ears go bright red when he sees you- he greets you the same way he has everyday for the past 3 months, barely waiting for you to remove your shoes and coat before he pounces on you- grasping your body against his.

he digs his nose into your neck- often times taking deep inhales as though breathing you in. he really does miss you immensly everyday.

your eventually forced to pat him off- much to his dismay as he trails behind you, following as you walk around the house- tending to small things and he talks your ear off.

“izuku- please. calm down for a second- i have to talk to you.”

interrupting his rambling nerves shoot up his body like electricity- heart pounding in his chest so loud that he’s afraid you’ll hear it.

you get him settled down for dinner- your wish to have this conversation over food only makes him even more worried.

the silence in the room is choking- hearing the increase in taps from izukus foot colliding with the floor you decide to show him mercy.

“so i’ve been thinking-” the dread in his stomach forces him to speak before he can think- interrupting your sentence before you get to finish it.

“w-whatever i’ve done to upset you im sorry! please- it won’t happen again!” looking at him you take note that tears in his eyes are threatening to spill- it’s now when you realise how truly terrified he is at the idea that he’d done something wrong- a strike of sympathy hits your chest.

“izuku darling, you have to let me finish.” you give him a warm smile in an attempt to somewhat calm him nerves before you continue- catching the spark in his eyes when look into his- izuku truly believes your smile may be the most beautiful in the world.

“i was thinking- maybe- you would like to start spending the night in my room?” his breath catches in his throat- finding himself unable to make a sound- unsure if he’d heard you correctly.

seeing the expecting look in your eye he gives you a meek nod- that’s all you need.

izuku does spend the night in your room that night- uncharacteristically weary of your personal space before you tell him it’s okay- you invited him here.

for the first time since he met you- store bought izuku falls asleep in your arms- head resting deep into your chest- holding you so tight he can hear your heartbeat. deciding this is where he belongs-

with you.

i love love love doing requests so please don’t hesitate to send them in!!

[ri5bi]

If u say request stuff thennnn

Youre a fan of CAS right? Can i request big biiiig raph giving a ride to tiny raph so that he can experience getting a piggy back ride as well for once :>

Or maybe big leo and small leo having a sword fight or something, with big leo showing off his skills one handed even because thats honestly something i need so badly

Or if you rather like mikey, maybe big and small mikey hanging out and painting together! Or maybr cooking

And lastly, if ur more of a donnie fan, the donnies are doing mischief together, tomfoolery even, teaming up against their common enemy: beach balls

All these are just ideas though and if you feel like doing any of them go ahead and if not just ignore me pfffffff

Have an awesome day!!!!

I'M ALIVE I SWEAR

sorry for the delay, finals week had me down for the count and winter break was stock FULL of errands and adulting and grahh i hate being responsible

anyhoodle, i absolutely LOVE your ideas!! so much so that i spent most of my downtime drawing all of them :') please feel free to send more whenever you'd like <3

they're definitely headed to the carousel ride

broke: they would sulk together about their guilt and martyr complexes

woke: they would make insufferable sparring partners /lh

the only thought in my head with this one was "ratatouille" even though future mikey is probably still good at cooking (and is also teaching present mikey how to be ~magical~)

this is a panel pulled from a (very rough) comic i've been working on (and is also the other main reason why i haven't been active lol). i won't spoil anything, but it's gonna be a while before i polish it enough to post it (and yes, there will be beachballs i promise)

again, you're ideas are awesome, dude! one of my big new years resolutions is to draw and post more, so thanks for taking the time to reach out :)

[subskz]

Imagine Minho being a brat. You're leaving kisses on his chest, while fingering him and (even though he enjoys your sweet kisses) he keeps demanding more, keeps commanding you, keeps complaining that you're not doing a good job. "Fuck- not like that- faster, go faster". And you, being a pretty patient person, decide to indulge him. But Minho keeps up his act. "I said- shit- i said faster- nngh- are you doing a bad job on purpose?" You know he doesn't mean these words, he's just teasing and you're too focused on kissing him to respond anyway, BUT! Your silence is just making him want to keep up his attitude.

"A-are you serious? You know what, just stop. Do something useful and bring me a dildo so that i can get the job done myself."

You knew damn well what he's trying to do. He's saying those things, wanting to rile you up, so that you fuck him harder and show him that he's wrong. Well, you're going to do the exact opposite. You stop your movements and look at him. "Does it really not feel good?" you ask, looking at him with a serious expression on your face. Minho didn't expect that reaction, he expected you to get mad and talk back, so he stayed silent for a moment. Then you started getting up from the bed.

"What- where are you going??" You had to keep yourself from smiling at his panicked voice.

"Umm...to get you a dildo? Like you asked me to?" The look on his face after that was priceless. You wish you knew what's going on in his head right now.

"N-no- i was just- i didn't-" he couldn't believe his plan backfired like that and now, in order to get you to touch him again, to make him feel the way that no other person or toy ever could, he has to swallow his pride and apologize. Watching him avoiding looking at you, struggling to find the right words and the way he's rubbing his thighs together, those pretty thighs shaking, begging for your touch...

English is not my first language, so excuse me if i made any mistakes🫢

no worries at all your english is perfect! 😭 and so is this ask hehe you wrote it so wonderfully~

i absolutely love the idea of besting minho by not falling for his bratty behavior like he wants you to. instead you can break him without even having to lift a finger, treating him softly no matter how much he mouths off until he realizes that all his lil mindgames won’t work on you. it’s honestly cute that he’s too shy to ask you to fuck him harder so he has to resort to provoking you like that, but only way for him to really get what he wants is to spit it out like a good boy 🥰 it makes it a million times more humiliating for him that you don’t even have to be rough to mess up his act and get him begging for you

kissing all over his chest and pretty collarbones while he secretly basks in all your attention <3 i firmly believe lino is weak for having his chest played with so feeling your warm lips press against his pecs and brush over his nipples would heighten the pleasure of you fingering him even more. he hates how it gets harder and harder for him to focus when every pump of your fingers feels so intensely good, like a jolt of electricity passing through his entire body that he can’t get enough of

“are you doing a bad job on purpose?” god u nailed his insufferable antics 😭 he thinks he’s sooo clever trying to cover up how badly he wants more by pretending it doesn’t feel good. poor kitty doesn’t know how to handle it when you see right through his challenge and suddenly he has nothing smart to say anymore~

his thick gorgeous thighs rubbing together so obviously and his pouty face watching you so helplessly would be such a perfect sight. you know you’ve got him right where you want him when he starts squirming around in the sheets, mumbling and stuttering bc he’s so caught off guard. the way “sorry” and “please” sound on his tongue when he finally musters up the courage to murmur them would be so sweet…you can’t help but make him repeat it over n over again before taking pity on him as payback for him being such a fussy brat who can’t use his words properly <3

[wannaeatramyeon]

it is most definitely jakey hours!! i love that man sm <3 can i request something where jake has a famous s/o?

I am so sorry. This is just crack man.

Jake Kim x Idol!Reader: That's my girlfriend!

F!Reader. Crack.

"That's my girlfriend."

"What, really?!"

"Yep!"

Lua's jaw drops, grains of rice falling from her mouth.

"This one?" She signals with her chopsticks, smearing the food across her laptop screen but she doesn't care. She needs to make sure.

"That one." Jake nods, a proud smile on his face.

"But she's super famous! She's got millions of subscribers." What Lua means to say is, how on earth did you bag her?!

"Yeah..." He agrees, eyes looking dreamy and glazed. "I'm one of them."

"Huh," is all Lua can say. She sees no reason why Jake would lie but... She takes one more look at the screen, and then glances at Jake. With his over slicked hair, the greying shirt, the corny smile, the dwindling bank account, and-

Wow. Talk about punching above your weight.

.

.

"Look, Jerry!" Jake thrusts his phone in his No. 2's face. "That's me and Y/N at an awards show last night. Doesn't she look great?"

"Yes, boss." Jerry refrains from sighing. Thinks about how much he respects and loves Jake. How happy you make him.

Jerry can put up with how insufferable he is.

"She's so creative and talented!"

"Yes, boss."

"That's my girlfriend, y'know."

It's a small price to pay, Jerry thinks to himself over and over. It's a new mantra.

"I know, boss."

.

.

"That's your girlfriend?"

"Yep!"

Sinu grabs Jake's phone, yanking it closer to inspect the person currently being interviewed at some talk show or another. "Are you sure?"

"Yep!"

Sinu glances at Jake's beaming face, then again at the girl talking and pulls a face. He thought he was the one losing his mind after being drugged and the whole ordeal with Workers for the past year.

Who would have thought Jake Kim would be off his rocker too. Full of delusions about being with some starlet.

Sinu should have a word with Yeonhui and Jerry.

"Sure, Jake!" Sinu plasters on a fake smile and throws his arm around Jake's shoulder, giving him a gentle pat. "I'm really happy for you!"

"Thanks. She makes me really happy." Jake smiles. It's softer and more sincere than Sinu has ever seen.

Sinu hides the frown tugging on his lips. Maybe Jake's sanity has snapped from the pressure of last year.

"Let me just-" Sinu edges away, moving toward the door. The quicker he seeks help for Jake, the better. "...I'll be right back. Don't hurt yourself, ok?"

Jake tilts his head in confusion as Sinu swiftly exits. What's up with him?

[cassayeee]

MY LITTLE SECRET (FINNICK ODAIR X FEM!READER)

warnings: porn with quite a bit of plot (i can never just write a oneshot), emotional sex, p in v, oral (f receiving), virginity loss, slight marking, mentions of killing, death, and suicidal thoughts (this is the hunger games), just be wary fr - minors stay away

notes: so this was a request from @theBridgetopanem on ao3 and, ugh, it's just so cute. love me some soft boy finnick. once again, very quickly edited so sorry for any grammatical mistakes. anywho - make sure to like, reblog, and comment! love u all <3

word count: 9.4k

summary:

No one truly understands the deception of humanity more than those who have the power to take it away. To push innocents against innocents and make sure nothing more than blood and broken souls remains where hope and naivety once stood.

It was a horrible nightmare in your mind – trying to think like them. Trying to survive. And the shadows that followed you out of that arena as people congratulated you for being a victor? Well, they knew what the absence of humanity really brought.

Fear.

OR

Finnick Odair is your mentor for the 70th Hunger Games and you can't help but find comfort in the man who is in your life solely to make sure you don't die.

The 70th Hunger Games, ready to begin.

Your name, reaped.

All hope, lost.

Voices flickered in and out of your consciousness as you made your way up to the stage. Of course, this happens to you in your last year of eligibility, why wouldn’t it? Time sped and slowed as it pleased, having no regard for your ticking thoughts. Nor did it care for your unwillingness to let it pass.

This can’t be happening. This isn’t happening. Why is this happening?

You weren’t a Career. You had no special talents besides swimming and spearfishing. Swimming. How for fucks sake was that going to get you through the Games? News flash: it wouldn’t. Maybe spearfishing? But that was hardly a skill that could contend with previous victors. And it definitely wouldn’t help you against the Careers.

I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I’m going to die.

As you curled into the dark spot floating at the edge of your vision, you barely heard the name of the male tribute announced beside you. Isaac? Ethan? Ian? Why does it matter anyway? You weren’t going to make it out of here. This was it. The ocean was draining, and you were being sucked down with it.

You barely noticed the Peacekeepers usher you off the stage and saying goodbye to your family was now a flicker of a memory. Siblings would never see you again. You would never be able to make them laugh in your family home or try to eat your mother’s insufferable cooking again. You would never be able to brush off fishing duty to go swimming with Annie or visit the town tavern with her again.

Oh, Annie.

Best friends since birth, the two of you were practically inseparable. Many of your other friends and family joked that the two of you must have been a soul split because of how alike you were. You did everything together, but the shining break in this storm was the fact that she wasn’t standing where you were. That your siblings weren’t. If it had to be any of you, you were glad that it was yourself.

But, fuck – you wish it would have been anyone else’s name picked out of the grim bowl.

---

Stepping foot on that train was probably the hardest decision of your life. Not that it was much of a decision, really. If you wouldn’t have gotten on yourself, the Peacekeepers would have gladly thrown you on there themselves.

You couldn’t say that you were too impressed with the interior of it. Honestly, it just looks like the Capitol threw up all over it. Yes, your family home was nicer than most of those in the other Districts due to the wealth of the area, but you didn’t care about all of that. The people made a house a home, and this train was nothing more than a moving coffin.

As your Capitol lapdog, Jorge, showed you and your fellow tribute into the lounge car, a head of bronze hair caught your eye. His arms were spread wide on either side of him as he lounged on the travel sofa – seeming to be as content as a summer’s day. You could almost laugh at the absurdity of it. But, before that mocking gaggle could make its way out of your throat, the man before you turned.

Oh, shit.

Finnick Odair. You needed no introduction of his, everyone in District 4 was aware of him after his victory in the 64th Games. Youngest ever and all that, you had to respect him for making it through. What you couldn’t respect, however, was his enjoyment of his Capitol fame. He appeared on screen at least five times a month at some prestigious party, the arm candy to some Capitol prissy who you really couldn’t bother to care about. Why should you when they laugh and cheer for children to die for their amusement? It was absolutely disgusting. 

Flashing you with a stunning smile, he popped a sugar cube in his mouth as Jorge motioned for the two of you to sit across from him. His sea-green eyes followed your movements as you stiffly sat before him, like a prized pet for sale. Your shoulders were locked tight as you stared back at the man before you. Tanned skin from hours on the coast and beauty that even the old Gods would envy, you couldn’t discount his looks. But you knew those could be deceiving. And anyone who wins the Games knows how to be deceiving.

“Hey, you two,” he began as he looked between you and… Ian? Yeah, let’s go with that. “This isn’t a position I want to see anyone in, but I’m here to help make sure you make it through whatever hellscape of an arena they have planned for you and get you used to the culture of the Capitol.”

You could feel your hands shake as this terror became more real with every word he spoke. He’s my mentor. I have a mentor. I’m really a tribute.

I’m going to die.

Every ill thought you had of Finnick was immediately disposed of. He was a lifeline in this – he knew how to win. And if you had to be deceitful, manipulative, hell, even seductive through this, you’d take whatever advice he had and hold onto it with your life.

Quickly grasping your hands together to try and still them, you showed nothing but vulnerability as you slouched in your seat. You could feel another panic attack coming on, but you shoved it down to deal with later so you could talk with Finnick. You weren’t going to waste a single moment on this train that didn’t provide you with some sort of opportunity to gain skills that would help you make it out of the arena.

Finnick saw how your composure changed as soon as he started talking and his heart broke a bit from the horribleness of this. He meant it when he said that he didn’t want anyone else to be in this position, for the Games to be a reality, but he would be damned if he didn’t make sure that one of you wouldn’t come out a victor. So, the three of you got to work and talked through the whole ride to the Capitol.

---

Finnick was betting on your spearfishing skills to get you through.

“The other tributes will be spread between those who know how to hunt, how to hide, and how to survive. I need you to be all three.” He stated.

The two of you were working together before your training began in the Tribute Center, stealing your last little bit of train time to work on hand-to-hand skills. Ian was off resting since Finnick was already aware of his expertise with tridents. Apparently, the two had known each other prior to all of this. Finnick wasn’t worried about him. No, he was worried about you.

“I’ve never hunted another person before.” You reminded him. “Fish are different.”

He was showing you maneuvers that could be used for deflection at this point. Utilizing the strength of the staff would be crucial, but since the Capitol provided metal ones in the arena, there was no worry about it breaking. Being in the proper position to block vital spots was up to you, though.

“Fish are small targets,” he nailed his trident against your spear, the reverberation racing up your arms. You continued to hold on. “Humans are bigger. More places to aim for.”

“But they can fight back.” You remarked as you readjusted your hold on the spear. “They can kill me just as easily.”

“Then be faster. Be quiet and quick and they won’t know you’re there until the damage is already done.” He urged. Setting his trident against the wall, he stripped off his shirt from the exertion and reached for a bottle of water to rehydrate.

Your mouth watered at the view. He was, in the simplest of terms, gorgeous. Taunt muscles built from years of experience stretched across his expanse as sweat trickled between the valleys of them. His Adam’s apple bobbed in tandem with his swallows and you were entranced by the movement. You don’t know what he did in a past life to be graced with a body like that, but you had to appreciate it if even for this one moment.

Shaking your head to rid yourself of the distraction, you grabbed a drink of water as well, taking the time to think of your odds. They’ve been getting better with Finnick’s instruction, but it was your intelligence and timing that would get you to the victor’s circle. Confidence was starting to brew in your veins, and you didn’t want it to go away.

Setting the bottle down, you grabbed your spear once more and took a fighter’s stance with it. Finnick noticed and lifted a well-manicured brow at you.

“I’ve got the defense positions down,” you started. “Now show me how to win.”

---

You tried not to stand out amongst the other tributes as much as you could, in hopes that they would view you as nothing more than some meek and useless girl. Your plan was that if you kept your head down, they wouldn’t view you as a threat. While that could cause some to view you as an easy target, it would also keep the element of surprise tidily tucked in your back pocket.

However, you stuck close to Ian as Finnick urged the two of you to attempt an alliance – granting the ability for at least one person to keep an eye on your blind spots. You weren’t naïve, though. Alliances were unsteady, especially if it came down to saving your own skin over the others. And there was no proof that Ian would even keep his word about meeting in the arena, let alone keeping you alive long enough to hear the first sounds of cannon fire. If you were a betting man, you wouldn’t bet on him.

But he did bring in two more members to your shaky alliance, Della Remfar and Billy Churl from District 10. Not Career-material by a long shot, but they were both highly adept with an array of knife work. And, to your knowledge, both knew the cleanest and quickest ways to stab, slice, and gut something – which could definitely come in handy.

Even after surrounding yourself with the three, you weren’t entirely sold on the idea of putting any sort of trust in them. You didn’t speak of anything personal, nor did you even attempt to learn anything about them. It would be easier this way. There can only be one victor in the end, and the memories of the fallen tributes should be left to be carried on by their own friends and families, not by someone who was an instrument in their death.

And, selfishly, you just didn’t want the chance of actually liking any of them to arise. It would be hard enough to kill strangers – killing friends would probably destroy you.

---

The training scores were being announced as you sat between Finnick and Ian. Nervously, you kept bouncing your leg up and down on the plush seat as you waited for your name to pop up on the screen.

Your show to the Gamemakers may not have been anything extremely special, but you would be damned if your new prowess with a spear would go unnoticed. Finnick’s teachings were nothing short of a blessing, and every time you lifted that metal bar, you had the unrestrained thought of making him proud.

It was strange, to find comfort in a man whose sole purpose in your life was to keep you from dying. He would do all he could to keep sponsors coming your way and leave you with all the knowledge and tricks he gained from his own Games. And you would survive. If you wished hard enough that you would live through it, perhaps you could wish it into existence.

A fool’s thought, but it didn’t stop you from looking up to the night sky every night and doing just that. It wasn’t a prayer, not by a long shot. If there was a God out there, you’d hate them with every fiber of your being for allowing their “children” to do this to one another without fear of repercussion. You were already in a living hell – it couldn’t get much worse than this.

Silencing your mind, you peaked with interest as Ian’s name flashed across the screen along with his score. An 8. That was solid. Enough to show the sponsors he was someone worth rooting for and kept the Careers off his tail for being too much of a threat. But it’s not like you cared that much when your name and picture finally appeared.

From pure desperation and worry soaking your veins, you grabbed Finnick’s hand in an attempt to calm yourself. You couldn’t even look at him, not as your eyes were glued to the screen in front of you. But Finnick looked at you.

He saw how scared you were – not just from the placings, but from the whole event. He couldn’t be surprised – hardly anyone made it through the Games without being completely terrified. Even in his own Games, he was fearful. Petrified, more like. No one wants to die like an animal and, besides the vicious, no one wants to kill another human being like one either. So, tightening his own hand around yours, softly rubbing his thumb on the back, he waited with bated breath for your score.

9. Oh, fuck.

“That puts you right around the Careers,” Finnick whispered to you.

You nodded your head, eyes still staring straight at some unknown point in front of you. Your hand was still wrapped around Finnick’s, neither one of you wanting to let go from the worldly anchor. In truth, you were surprised you had placed that high, and by the slightly jealous façade that rested on Ian’s face, you could tell he wasn’t too happy about it either. But Finnick, he just seemed to watch your facial response to it, ready to help you through.

There was no overwhelming emotion of happiness or disappointment, he just wanted to make sure you were okay. And, after turning your face to drown into his oceanic eyes once more, you were.

---

This was it. The clock was counting down as you and the other tributes stood atop your respective platforms waiting for the blood bath to begin. For humanity to disappear and pure unrestrained carnage to take its place.

Your whole body was shaking. Anxiety and dread were filling you up and overflowing at the top. You wanted to be anywhere but here. You wanted to be dead already to get it over with. You wanted to be with Annie and your family playing on the beach.

You just didn’t want to be here.

So, for a split second, you let your consciousness cover your mind with a memory. Something warm and happy that could perhaps get you through the next minutes or hours or days. And you indulged in it.

“Oh, yeah. My parents took us swimming all the time. For ‘exercise’ and all that, but really, I know they just wanted to spend time as a family whenever we could.”

You and Finnick were lounging in the main sitting area within your deck of the Tribute Center. While he probably should have made his leave already, he wanted to check on you after your training, and, without admitting it, desired to spend time with you.

The two of you were currently sharing memories of your families and friends and life. You don’t quite remember how the conversation happened, but it was just too easy to get lost in the words with him. A bittersweet thought of how you would miss him materialized, but you quickly threw it to the wayside so you could luxuriate in the presence of Finnick Odair.

“My mom was always about making sure that between work on the docks, out on the waves, or just helping with the catches, we prioritized one another. Blood is thicker than water, she would always remind us.” You couldn’t help the bright smile painting your face as you thought about how kind and, sometimes scary, your mother was. She truly loved life and insisted on making sure everyone in your family could see the beauty in it as well, if not a little aggressively.

“She once threatened my younger brother, Kade, that she would take away his slice of chiffon cake if he didn’t go out and play with his friends for a bit.” You disclosed. “She ate it right in front of him when he refused.”

You both laughed at the story, going on to tell him more about your siblings and Annie, who was practically your sister at this point. With each passing story, you grew less enthusiastic. He saw the way you started to deflate from the stories, sadness taking its place due to your current predicament of perhaps never being able to see your loved ones again.

He didn’t want those memories to sour from this, he wanted you to keep them treasured – shrouded in a golden cloud of light and love. With a sense of duty, he moved over from his armchair to join you on the loveseat you were curled into.

Your doe eyes followed his movements, curious as to what he was doing. He sat beside you; stern vulnerability layered on his features. With shrugged eyebrows and a twinkle of some unknown emotion in his eyes, he placed his hand on the side of your face, tenderly holding you in position.

“Don’t let them take this from you.” He softly insisted, fingers warming you where they rested. “They want to break you, to dull you, but don’t let them win.”

You blinked. Once. Twice. Before your brain registered that you should reply to him.

“Wh- What?” You stuttered out in a hushed voice, much less of a conversation than you intended, but you were still confused by his words and actions. He continued to look at you, stealing glimpses into your soul through your widened eyes.

“Your memories, your love. The Games are built to destroy you of it all, leaving nothing more than a walking corpse empty of thought and emotion.” He asserted. “But don’t let them win. When you walk out a victor, hold onto what you love most and remember that the Capitol can’t take that. They can try to take your humanity, what makes you, you, but they won’t.”

You were stunned into silence, thoughts running rampant, but one began to overshadow them all.

He thinks I’ll win?

“I know we’ve only truly known each other for a short while, but I’d like to think I’ve become a great judge of character over the years.” He confessed with a small smile. “And when I look at you, I see a genuinely good person. Someone who shouldn’t have been forced into this, who should have lived their life out in peace and bliss but will win because they have something to fight for.”

You didn’t want to speak, to breathe, for fear of stopping his expression. But your eyes encouraged him, so he went on.

“You. Fight for yourself, Y/N L/N. Fight for the memories you hold in your heart. Fight for the love you have to give. Fight for whoever makes your head rush. Fight for the feelings.” He whispered out, only for you. “Just, please, fight. I know you can win. You have the skills, the intelligence, everything. So, fight for everything and nothing at all.”

Silent tears were streaming down your heated cheeks from his honesty. You knew Finnick to be manipulative and cunning when he needed to be, but there was nothing but a boy who wanted to be heard in front of you. What did he have to lie for anyway? You’d be going into that arena either way, friend or not.

Your own smaller hand covered Finnick’s as he continued to hold your cheek. Your lids gently shut as you pushed yourself into the warmth he was offering, staying close to him. He watched you hold the part of himself he presented to you, and decided he should gift just a little bit more.

Lifting his left hand to sit on the other side of your face, he pulled you close to rest his forehead against your own. With shut eyes, the two of you breathed in each other as the intimate moment closed over you.

Even in this short period of time, you’d never felt as close to a person as you did to Finnick. He knew the position you were in, for he had stood there before. He knew your emotions better than you did and encouraged them as a power, not a weakness. He was a light in this dark world, and you’d protect that flame with your life.

Pulling his head back but still staying close, he expressed one last thing. “My secrets, Y/N. I’ll give you all my secrets if you come back to me. If you fight for me. I’ll fight for you every day of my life and it still won’t be enough if you don’t come. Back. To. Me.”

He practically shook with the truth of his words. He wanted for nothing more than time. Time with you. Time to truly learn everything about you. Something in him yearned for you since the moment you had met. Your strength, your smile, your brilliance. He wanted to bathe and drown in it all at once. So, he needed you to win. To dirty yourself as he still is. Then, perhaps, you could both learn how to wear the past together. 

For a short moment, all you could do was look at him. To take him in as he was, no mask atop his face. To see what Finnick Odair looked like when there were no secrets to steal. And then you quickly tucked yourself into his torso as you wrapped your arms around him.

“I’ll fight for you, Finnick.” You declared into his chest. “I’ll fight for more moments like this.”

He hesitated for just a breath before he enveloped his arms around you, holding you tight and taking in your presence. He would make sure that you get anything you need in that arena. And that he’ll be there to pick up any pieces you left behind when you come back to him.

---

Della was dead. Ian was dead. Tributes from all the districts were dead.

The only ones still living were you and Billy, and the clock was ticking away.

Ian stuck true to his word and met you far from the Cornucopia as the two of you ran for your lives. The arena was a swamp – dirty and thick with a putrid smell that you would never forget. But the cypress and tupelo tree bunches gave what cover they could as you deftly made your way through the duckweed covering parts of the watery surface. Della and Billy attempted to steal a supply pack out of the slaughterhouse, but only Billy returned. Sticking close to one another, you made it through your first night.

Finnick also did as he promised and made sure the sponsors gave you anything you needed: spears, bread, ointment for Ian after he ran through a thorn-filled brush and ripped his leg open, even just extra blankets and water bottles – he made sure you were always supplied. His heart was in his mouth every time he saw you on screen, each day fitting you worse than the last. Exertion and fear were already taking their toll on you with mud-caked skin, chapped lips, and hair that was matting faster than a sunset. But none of that mattered as long as you made it to the end.

Ian was the next to go with a slit throat as your group battled head-to-head with the Careers. Two of the four were down before it happened, giving you all a false sense of hope. It was in that second of distraction that the girl from 2 sprinted around and tore Ian’s neck open before you could even blink.

Without even thinking, you launched your spear right into her chest as Billy finished off the District 1 boy. The two of you were unaware that each had defeated a tribute, but as your breathing slowed and you turned toward him, the realization hit you like a train.

I have to kill him.

It was a sickening thought, one you wish you’d never have to think about, but one that was entirely fueled by survival. You made a promise to Finnick that you would return. That you would come back. And even with aching limbs and short breaths, you would fight.

So, fight you did.

Billy started making his way to you as you reached the District 2 girl and yanked the spear from her concaved chest. There was no time for sympathy, no time for feelings. Billy wasn’t your friend. Sure, he may have saved you from the guy from 6 and always made sure that you got your share of food, but he wasn’t your friend. He couldn’t be your friend.

You locked down your thoughts as the two of you met in a patch of hip-deep swamp water. The muck below was forcing your feet to sink lower and gave you little grasp, but you lived in the sandy ocean. You knew how to maneuver well enough to use it to your advantage.

You were smaller than Billy as he towered over you at some number over six feet – a sturdy build for a butcher’s life. Which was a disadvantage for the environment. As you could navigate across the ground without fear of adhering to it, he was stuck, weighted down into the pit of swamp.

As he struggled to turn to follow your movements, his hands were briskly releasing knives your way. Try as you might, you couldn’t miss all of them. One lodged in your upper shoulder as another grazed your cheek, nipping off the tip of your left ear. But he wouldn’t have an infinite number of knives, and you could be patient enough for them to run dry.

And when they did, you advanced. Flittering over to him, you adjusted your stance just as Finnick taught you – bracing your arms apart so they could give and move as needed. You caught him in the side at first, until he grabbed onto the other end of the spear and pulled you toward him. He was stronger than you. If he got his hands on you, he could choke you out or drown you as hastily as he wanted, so you couldn’t let him touch you.

As he hauled you closer and closer to him, you steadied yourself. You’d only have one shot at this, and if you missed, it was all over. Taking a deep breath and focusing on the one moment you would have for this to work, you waited.

Not yet.

He was reaching the end of the spear.

Not yet.

He was loosening his grip on one hand to stretch out toward you.

Not yet.

You could feel the heat of his palm as he began to place it on your good shoulder.

Now.

In a flash, you jumped up and around him, securing yourself on his back and throwing him off balance so he couldn’t lay hold of you. Spear forgotten; you grasped his knife still stuck in your shoulder. With a cry, you yanked it out of yourself and stabbed it into his neck. And you stabbed again. And again. Tears were streaming down your face like a river flooded as you made sure he was well and truly dead.

As his heavy body dropped, you released your death grip but not before you fell into the water with him. You closed your tired eyes as you floated in the combination of blood and sludge. Nothing felt real. You were a victor, and you didn’t feel real. For a moment you could almost see your consciousness floating above you in a haze, like you were the one to die rather than Billy. But as soon as it was there it was gone. Instead, a transporter floated just where you had been, and now it was grabbing the winner of the 70th Hunger Games up into its claws once more.

---

Finnick was the first to greet you with nothing but concern on his face. As everyone else tossed cheers and ‘congratulations’ at you, he held onto you and walked you from the crowd. And he didn’t let go even when you sobbed into his shirt, staining it with tears and blood.

A doctor had to stitch your shoulder and cheek and wrap your bleeding ear, but with the Capitol’s technology, it took less than 2 days to heal. And Finnick never left your side for those days, talking about nonsense and the sponsors and the Games and how your family came to visit but you were unconscious from the medication and everything else he could think of that he couldn’t talk to you about before.

You told him about your heart-wrenching fear at every waking moment and nightmares you would have each night in the arena. Sleep was unwilling to take you, and you hardly wanted it to. Not when the arena croaked and screeched with animals and tributes on the prowl. Nothing but pure survival was in your veins, and that feeling was reluctant to leave you even now.

When you were dismissed from the hospital, he didn’t leave your side then, either. He talked to your family and Annie like they had known each other for a lifetime already. It made you happy watching them together. All the people you loved right in front of you, and you were still alive to witness it.

Even with the dark cloud looming over you, they were still the sun’s rays shining through. Small, but strong enough to keep you going.

---

Weeks after the Games and your victory tour concluded, you were nestled in a small reading nook in your home in Victors’ Village. The Games still haunted you, but you found solace in books. In romantic novels that didn’t have death sentences or tyrannical leaders – just two people who were in love and determined to display that in any way they could.

It was a way for you to escape reality, if even for a fleeting moment. Surrounding yourself with friends and family could only help for so long, and more often than not, being around so many people had you reliving the fight between your group and the Careers. The heaviness of the air and the cacophony of sounds had your stomach turning and chest tightening. Usually, Finnick would notice and quickly relieve you of the event by sheltering you outside.

It was a rather common occurrence, which is why you were happy to be in solitude. You told your family that you’d like to live in the house alone, if only for a couple of months, but they were more than welcome to visit you – which your mother did. A lot. She’d bring attempts at dinners and pies, but you were grateful for her and never discouraged her love. You couldn’t imagine the pain that she went through watching her daughter almost lose her life in the arena, so you entertained all of her antics. Almost every time she visited her eyes would drift to where your shoulder scar lay beneath your clothes, and she always kissed the mark on your cheek before she left as well. The reminders were plain to see.

But your solitude was never truly lonely.

“Hot chocolate?” Your eyes broke from the pages in front of you to look at Finnick, who was now offering the delectable drink to you.

You smiled at him and nodded, shifting your position to reach for the mug of cocoa. He sat beside you, offering more warmth than just that in your hands as he glanced at the book resting in your lap.

“Pride and Prejudice, again?” He smirked. “You have a library full and you’re reading this for, what, the fifth time this month?”

You hit his shoulder with your own as you giggled into your cup. Taking a sip and humming as the warm liquid traveled down your throat, you set your cup aside to face him.

“It’s a wonderful story, what can I say.” You confessed to him.

“And,” He reclined back in his seat as he regarded you. “Highly illegal. I still don’t know how you got your hands on that.” Shaking his head, he took his own drink of the hot chocolate and evaluated you with a raised brow.

“Perks of being a victor, as you should already be aware of.” Your smile vanished. “You get secrets, and I get tales to bury myself in.”

Any trace of playfulness withdrew from his manner. Soft eyes looked into your own as he set his cup aside, reciprocating the action to yours.

“Y/N,” he whispered softly.

Before he could say anymore, you snuggled into him, hurting for the man before you. “I’m sorry, Finnick. I didn’t mean to bring it up, I just– I just can’t understand why they would do that to you.”

Your watery eyes finally traveled back up to his, as he caressed your head with a tender touch. Finnick had finally told you what his days consisted of as a victor – of forced touches and unwanted attention; he was used in the Capitol for his looks and composure. You didn’t take it well, seconds away from marching to President Snow and killing him yourself for putting loving, sweet Finnick through that pain.

It wrecked you even more to know that he dealt with it all for the people he cared about. For his family. For his friends. For you. And that there wasn’t anything you could do to stop it without putting everyone else in danger. The worst that was done to you was parading you around like a show dog on a leash to different events. Perhaps if you weren’t scarred, they would have wanted the same for you, but for once, you could count yourself lucky that Billy hadn’t fully missed.

“Y/N,” he spoke once more as he lifted your chin to gaze down into your eyes. “Please, don’t suffer for me. You know I would do anything to protect you from them, and if this is the cost, then so be it.”

You shook your head as you wiped the tears from your eyes. “You don’t deserve this. You shouldn’t have to do anything else for them. Especially not that.”

You couldn’t even say the words out loud, it was so repulsive. It made sense now, why he was always with new and different Capitol citizens at those parties. Why he never looked truly there in the way he handled himself. And it made you want to shove your spear into anyone who would ever try and do that to him again.

“It’s okay, Y/N, really.” He gently smiled at you the way he reserved only for you – with all the love and radiance he could put into it. “I get to spend the rest of my time– the rest of my life with you. That’s all I could ever ask for.”

“Finnick,” you whispered, hardly knowing what to say to him.

He gingerly brushed the hair back from your forehead as he placed a kiss upon it, hushing you. “For you, my love, I would do anything.”

Your body trembled in his hands from the emotion tumbling around inside you. After the Games, it was hard to let yourself get close to him, for the honest fear of losing him. But he was patient. He waited for you and took his time working through the tremors of the Games that still resided within you. It was hard, it still is, to make it through a day without finding yourself back in that arena, but being around him made it easier – more manageable. He was the part of you that kept you afloat and you were hanging on with both hands to make sure he stayed.

You lost yourself in his eyes – green and blue twirling in an intimate dance, the most beautiful you had ever seen. Truly, there was no other place you would rather be than with him. Every ounce of comfort that you felt stemmed from Finnick, and he felt just the same. To part with one another now would be to rip a heart in two, never fitting the pieces to another.

I love him.

It was a scary thought and, really, shouldn’t have shocked you as much as it did. You knew for a long time already that you did but admitting it to yourself was the true challenge. Everyone knew it, hell, Annie would constantly ask you when the two of you would just marry already – she had never seen two people as made for the other until she saw you and Finnick. But you were slow to let that part of yourself go. He already had your heart, but now, you would finally allow yourself to have his.

Tenderly, you reached your hands to cup his face – the slight stubble growing on his cheeks tickling your palms. As not to scare him off, you so slowly pulled his head down to yours. Only an inch apart, your mouths breathed onto one another, painting your lips with his scent.

“Y/N,” he ground out in a whimper.

“Finnick,” you echoed back. “I love you.”

The sharp inhale was the only sign that he had heard your small voice. That, and the urgency at which he bridged the gap between your mouths. A whine escaped from the back of your throat at how soft he was – how his lips molded into your own as if fated to do so. You were already addicted to the feeling.

Finnick wasn’t faring much better. His whole head was fuzzy with love and reverence for you as he pulled you up to sit on his lap, bringing you as close to you as he could. Tenderness soon turned into something more as he began to map out the curves of your body with his hands. As you gasped from his touch, he took the chance to sneak his tongue into your mouth, charting that territory out as well.

Happily returning the favor, you too began exploring the body of the glorious man before you. Tongues twisting, hands moving, both your breaths became labored as the need for even more started hazing both your minds. Pulling away for just a moment, you took your chance.

“Y/N,” he practically growled out as you began to shift your hips over his growing hardness. “We don’t have to do anything if you’re not comfortable yet.”

And you knew he meant it. While the two of you had never crossed that line before, you wanted to use more than just your words to show him how much you love him. You wanted to cherish him, to give him all of you.

“I want to.” You pleaded. Then, you quickly pulled away as a thought occurred to you. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think about how you might feel about this. Fuck, Finnick, I–”

Before another word could leave your mouth, Finnick covered it with his own, pushing all the love he has to give into you. He coaxed you right back into the kiss, cradling your head close, softly rubbing the flat scar on your ear’s tip. Through a deep breath, he broke the tender instant to glance back at you. Your mind clouded until he spoke.

“Don’t ever think I don’t want you, Y/N,” he reassured. “There is nothing in this world that I want more than you. What happens in the Capitol doesn’t leave me broken, not when you’re still here. And, if you want me, you already have me – I just don’t want you to feel forced into it.”

As he explained his thoughts to you, his hands were delicately rubbing up and down your sides as to console any feelings revolving around your head. He loved you without needing something physical. You were more than enough for him without anything else than just your presence.

“I love you, Finnick Odair,” you confessed for the second time aloud. “And I want to be yours – mind, body, and soul. For as long as you should have me.”

As Finnick’s eyes grew watery from the words torn from your heart, he acknowledged just the same. “I will love you forever, Y/N L/N. And should I die tomorrow or fifty years from now, my thoughts will be filled with you. Only you.”

And with the words spoken and sealed in a lover’s embrace, you sculpted your lips around each other once more. Finnick was slow to undress you, taking the time to truly admire the woman that you were. Removing your top, he trailed his lips from your neck to the scar on your shoulder and drifted further down to your breasts.

You held your breath as you watched him take your nipple into his mouth, suckling and teasing the bud with his tongue. Sighing, you tangled your hands into his hair, urging him to continue his actions. Doing just that, he reached one of his hands up to fondle your untouched breast, coaxing out more whines from you from the feeling.

Unaware, your hips continued to grind down on his lap, searching for some sort of friction for the growing heat in your core. While you had reached highs on your own hands and fingers before, you never touched a man like this – let alone felt the urge to have every part of him in you. And damn it, did you ever want to feel Finnick fucking Odair.

As he switched between ministrations on your nipples, he groaned into you every time you caught on his swelling cock. His head was filled with nothing but the thoughts of you and how he wanted to taste and touch you. How he wanted to tempt out every little noise you could make as you reached your peak over and over again. How he wanted to drown in you.  

Giving into his raging thoughts, he flipped the two of you around so your back lay comfortably on the cushions beneath you. Hot chocolate cooling and book thrown to some corner in the room, it was just you and him. Nothing else mattered.

Wandering down your body once more, he rid you of your pants and undergarments, leaving you bare in the sun. You were a goddess to him. A picture of perfection. He would never get tired of gazing upon you. Even when the two of you had grown old and grey, you would still be the most beautiful thing, sculpted by the poets themselves.

You watched as his eyes traced your body, and you began to grow self-conscious. Before you could even attempt to close yourself off from him, he grabbed onto your thighs and looked deep into your lust-blown eyes.

“Please, don’t hide from me.” He begged you. “You are the most exquisite being, never forget that. I feel like the luckiest man in the world to be able to even glimpse your beauty.”

Sentiments swelling your throat, you nodded up to him and relaxed into his touch. Seeing your newly eased state, he kneeled on the ground as he pulled your legs over his shoulders. Gazing upon your core, a growl emerged from the back of his throat. Your slick heat was practically begging to be filled by him, and who was he to deny such a pretty little thing?

He kissed up the innermost parts of your legs, inching closer and closer to where you needed him most. Before you could issue a complaint to stop teasing, he licked a warm stripe up your pussy, and you gasped. Head thrown back and hands immediately finding purchase in his hair, you were hooked.

He nuzzled his nose into your clit as he began to touch your core with his tongue, forcing out mewls and whines from your mouth. Reaching up his hands, one gripped onto your legs to prevent them from wrapping around his head, while the other spread your lips so he could dive even deeper into you. Flicking and cooing, his tongue continued to taste your slick as he moaned into you from your flavor.

You began rubbing your hips up and down his face as you continued to chase your high. He was too good at this – you’d never last long at this rate.

“Finnick, ahh,” you chanted his name like a choir of angels, and your voice went straight to his cock.

Wanting nothing but his name on your mind, he inserted a finger to begin loosening you up. The slight stretch already elicited a whine of pain from you. His digit was so much longer and thicker than your own, and you had a feeling his length was even more so.

As soon as he felt you relax around one, he slipped in a second. Scissoring around your cunt, he sucked on your clit to keep you slackened. You already felt so full. But as soon as all the discomfort turned to pleasure, you wanted more than just his fingers in you.

“Fuck,” you moaned out. “Finnick, I, shit, I want to feel you.”

He sighed into your pussy at your pleading state. Closing his eyes, he continued slipping his fingers in and out of you, getting you even further toward your orgasm.

“Not yet, love.” He insisted in a gravelly voice. “I want to taste you on my tongue first. You can do that, yeah baby? Want to cum in my mouth? I know you can do it. You’re such a good girl.”

You whined as you shut your eyes and continued stirring your hips on his face. He placed his lips back over your clit and thrust his fingers even faster into your heat. The sound of his knuckles squelching against your wetness was driving him insane, but he wanted to– no, needed to taste your essence before putting his cock into you.

As you felt your climax crawling nearer, your pussy clamped down around Finnick’s fingers, not wanting to let go. Your hips became erratic as you felt the familiar tightening in your lower abdomen – rising from your toes to the tip of your head. Finnick moved and slurped like a man starved, aching for you to lose yourself on him.

With a few more movements and a cry loosened from your lips, you released right into Finnick’s waiting mouth. He cleaned up every last drop, not wanting any to go to waste. You continued to ride out your high as he removed his lips from your bud. Once he felt you tire from your spend, he slipped his fingers out of you.

You watched with hungry eyes as he licked his fingers clean, eyes rolling back as his cock leaked from the wonder of your taste. Moaning as he popped them out of his salivating palate, he quickly moved to rid himself of his shirt. Reaching his arms back behind his neck and tearing the shirt from his torso up around his head, his eyes never left yours.

“I knew you would taste absolutely fucking divine.” He proclaimed to you as he started stripping his pants off. “I bet you feel just as good.”

Gasping, you finally laid eyes on his cock. Thick and girthy, you had no idea how it was supposed to fit in you. While it wasn’t ridiculously long, the stature of it made up more than enough. And as Finnick saw you fixed upon his hardened length, he twitched, which made you whimper up to him.

Bending back down to hover over you, he covered your mouth with his lips, allowing you to taste the salty remains of your own release. Moaning into his mouth, you gripped onto his bronze locks once more, lifting your hips to graze your now swollen clit against him.

He groaned and swiftly grabbed onto your hips to push you down. Backing from the kiss, he asked you one last time, “Are you sure?”

Breathless, you answered. “Yes. Please. I’ve never been surer about anything.”

Staring into your eyes and seeing nothing but certainty, he nodded.

“This is going to hurt, at first.” He stated. “Just try to stay relaxed and I promise you, you’ll start to feel good soon enough.”

Bobbing your head, you dug your nails into his shoulders to brace yourself as he glanced down and began to line himself up to your still-sweating heat. As he pressed the tip into you, you inhaled a sharp breath. Finnick immediately looked up to your face.

“It’s okay. Breathe, my love.” He took his hand and caressed your face. Settling a tender kiss on your lips, you started to breathe normally once again. Taking it as his cue to continue his insertion, he pressed back into you.

Slowly, so achingly slowly, he rocked his length into you. Taking the time to pull back and forth, he was easing you through the tight pain in your cunt. You were biting down on your bottom lip and your eyes were sealed shut from the sting of it.

“Fuck,” he breathed out. “You’re doing so good, baby. Just a little bit more and, shit, I’ll be all the way. God, you’re so tight, fuck.”

Finnick was trying his hardest to go slow for you, but the way that your cunt was compressed around him was like a drug. He wanted more, he wanted to move, but he would never place his own needs above your own. He watched your face for any sign of unordinary discomfort, but he saw none, so he inched further and further until he was fully sheathed into you.

Groaning, he dropped his head into your neck and panted out. As you adjusted to his size, the discomfort subsided. Sighing out as well, you started to lift your hips in your attempt at receiving friction. Finnick moaned and bit down into the softness of your neck.

“Move, Finnick, please.” You whimpered into his ear, already drunk on the feeling of his cock in you. You were so full, practically pushed to the brim, but you wanted more of him. You wanted him to make love to you.

Listening to your words, he dragged his cock through your walls as he moved in and out of you. Feeling your warmth rub against him was nothing short of amazing – there wasn’t anything that would ever compare to the feeling of you.

The two of you moaned in tandem as he thrust a particularly harsh plunge into you. You were scraping his back, leaving red angry lines as you wrapped your legs around his fit waist. Even in your inebriated state, you couldn’t help but admire him. For more than just his handsomeness, Finnick was the most gorgeous thing inside and out, and you couldn’t believe that he was yours. You would do anything for him to smile at you, to give you soft kisses to your temple, to just be.

So, you took hold of his head from where it was leaving marks on your neck, and you clashed your teeth together in a heated kiss. He was quick to reciprocate and grip onto your ass as he continued drilling himself into you, mouth never leaving yours.

You were the one to break the kiss as you leaned back to moan from the feeling.

“Fuck, Finnick. I love you so much.” You were rambling now, high off nothing but the way he was making you melt into his arms. “Please don’t leave me. I couldn’t, ah, live without you. Need you here. Always here. Mmm, my Finnick.”

He continued his movements as he gazed at you, love and lust battling for dominance in his sea-green eyes. “I’ll never let you go, Y/N. You are mine as I am yours. God. I was made to be by your side. Oh, Y/N. To always be with you. Would never leave you. My heart, fuck, is yours forever.”

The two of you were incoherent, rambling sentiments of love and sweet nothings to the other. Both of your climaxes were approaching, wanting to cum at the same time as the other. Skin on skin and sweat dripping upon each other, this was a plea of love, a confessional. Never to leave, always to stay – your hands were tied together as Finnick kissed you softly once more.

In contrast, his hips picked up the pace, as his fingers found your throbbing clit once more, pushing you to reach the top with him. His movements became inconsistent as he grew closer, knowing you were on your way as well by the way you were clenching down on him.

“Come on, baby,” he cooed at you. “Cum with me. You’re so close, love, I can feel it.”

“Yes, yes!” you whined at him. “Wanna cum, wanna cum with you. Ah, almost there, Finnick, don’t stop.”

Moving your hips with him, you both panted as the light grew brighter. He sped his twirling fingers up around your bud, begging you to peak with him. And as the two of you whined and whimpered louder and louder, Finnick thrust hard and deep into you. With this one last push, you both roared a moan as you came in and around the other.

Slowing his motions, Finnick allowed you to ride out your orgasm as he spilled his seed in you. Your legs twitched around his hips as you came down from your high. Head tilted back, you breathed hard and fast as your heart pounded. Finnick wrapped his arms around you as he held you close, still buried inside you.

For just a bit, the two of you stayed like that – together as one. Your pants eventually withdrew and were left with nothing more than the beating of the blood in your veins. He tenderly pulled out of you, leaving you empty of nothing but the soreness in your hips. Rubbing small circles on the aching joints, he kept his head close to yours. He then started kissing all over your face, making you giggle.

Chuckling along with you, he saved you from the attack by pulling away and looking at you with pure love and adoration. Mirroring his visage, you tenderly stroked his cheek as he sighed into your palm.

“I’m going to marry you, Y/N.” It wasn’t a question, but a fact he knew true in his heart.

Your eyes widened at his words, stilling your actions for a moment.

“Not tomorrow,” he laughed at your shocked expression. “Perhaps not a week or month from now, but one day I will. And that day will be the happiest of my life.”

Tears brimmed along your eye line, but it wasn’t sadness blurring your vision. Joy, excitement, and love were making their presence known in this strange way, and you didn’t know how else to respond to his worrisome look except to smile at him. Smile with your heart and soul to the man who was everything to you. And he smiled back the way Finnick Odair only smiles at you: uninhibited and overflowing with fondness.

Nestling into him as he repositioned you both on the seat, you contently sighed into him. This is what you fought for in that arena. This is why you promised that you’d win.

For vulnerable moments like this. For nothing between you and the man you love except the warm skin of your bodies. For the chance to live and not survive. For him.

With those thoughts in your mind, there was only one way you knew how to respond to him: with your truth, not a secret, and not in fear.

“Yes, I will marry you, Finnick Odair.”

[bella-rose29]

Little Kipps

Lockwood had no idea just how lovely somebody related to Quill Kipps could be.

Might make this a mini series (translation: I am definitely making this a mini series)

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: swearing (i think that's it)

Tag list: @augustisintheair, @el-de-phi, @karensirkobabes, @tournesol77, @wordsarelife

Please let me know here if you'd like to be added to my Lockwood tag list <3

Quill Kipps was the most insufferable, annoying, arrogant, conceited man Anthony Lockwood had ever had the misfortune to meet.

So how on earth did he have such a lovely sister?

Y/n Kipps was everything that her older brother was not; kind, funny, caring, beautiful (not that Lockwood spent much time considering how attractive Kipps was, it was Y/n he couldn't tear his eyes away from given she was practically a goddess). In Lockwood's eyes, she was perfect, and in an ideal world he'd try and ask her on a date.

This wasn't an ideal world, however.

The first time that he'd met Y/n was after a case gone only slightly wrong, but involved Kipps' team showing up. Lockwood, George and Lucy had everything under control, of course, but he couldn't deny how grateful he was for the extra supplies of flares when the Fittes team turned up. Walking over to the pavement after the sources were contained, he sat down rather unceremoniously, then groaned when he saw Kipps headed his way, a smirk on that stupid face.

"Alright, Tony? I think it's time you considered giving up and leaving the jobs to the real agents, yeah?"

"Oi! Don't be rude, Quill. He did actually save your sorry ass out there! Biscuit?" Both boys startled at the new voice, and when Lockwood saw the girl that had approached them, packet of digestives in hand, he lost his breath.

"He did not," Kipps grumbled, taking a biscuit and munching on it like an angry rabbit. She turned and offered the packet out to Lockwood, who took one with a grateful smile.

"I did, actually. Remember when I told you to duck? You looked around for a quacking bird instead, so I had to shove you to the ground." Now it was Lockwood's turn to smirk, and the delighted laughter that came from the girl made his heart lift.

"Shut up, you pointed and I thought 'That's just the kind of stupid thing that Tony would do, see a duck and get distracted on a job that's clearly out of his depth'."

"Quill?"

"Yeah?"

"Please stop talking."

Lockwood watched the two of them talk, and wondered how they knew each other. She was clearly close to Kipps, but why he had no idea. Surely nobody in their right mind would willingly spend time with the guy?

"Why are you even here? You should be home," Kipps said, worry creeping into his voice. Lockwood's brow furrowed, and he wondered if they were maybe dating.

"Yeah, well mum's being a bitch again, and I have a rapier, so it's not like I'd have died, is it?"

"She's being a bitch again? I thought you said she'd stopped?"

"Sorry to interrupt, but maybe have this conversation where other people can't hear you? It just feels like it's about to get deep and as much as I would love to spend more time in your company," he sent a wink in the girl's direction, delighted when she blushed lightly, "I don't think you really want a stranger listening in," Lockwood said, charming smile working its way onto his face as he stood, brushing off the back of his trousers.

"Oh, yeah, of course! Sorry. Another biscuit for the road?" She offered the packet up, and who was he to say no to her? Taking a second biscuit, Kipps scoffed.

"Yeah, okay. This," he pointed a finger at Lockwood and the girl, "is never happening again."

"What? Have you finally lost your mind Kipps?"

"Nope. Good night." And he turned and walked off, dragging the girl with him. Lockwood stood staring dumbly at their backs.

"You okay, Lockwood?" Lucy's voice surprised him, and he nearly dropped the biscuit.

"Who's that girl with Kipps?"

"Why, got a crush?" she teased, then seeing his face her jaw went slack, eyes lighting up with glee. "Oh my god you do, don't you! GEORGE! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" Lockwood groaned, knowing that no matter what he said now, his colleagues would refuse to believe anything else.

"What? Why does Lockwood look like that? And how come he has a biscuit and I don't?"

"He's got a crush," Lucy said, and then George's eyes lit up.

"It's not a crush, I'm just curious why she's friends with Kipps," he explained, taking a bite of the biscuit.

"Oh, that's his sister," George piped up. "She's quite often in the Archives, does research on the beginning of the Problem like me. Pretty sure she's a freelance agent, our age. She mentioned she doesn't like the big institutions, but she has a rapier, so I'm just guessing."

"His sister?" Lockwood wilted a little. Kipps would definitely never let Lockwood anywhere near her now.

"Yeah. Her name's Y/n. And Kipps is super protective of her, so good luck asking her out or even looking in her direction while he's nearby."

George and Lucy walked off, taking the kit bags with them and loading them into the back of a night cab. Lockwood trailed after, still thinking about her.

"Y/n," he mumbled, and he decided he liked the way her name sounded.

~~~

The next time he saw her, he was in Arif's corner shop topping up on groceries. He'd just entered the bread aisle when the bell on the door dinged, and she walked in. She saw him, and a smile formed on her face as she waved.

"Hi! Lockwood, right? You look a lot better in daylight, I've gotta say," she said, coming over to where he stood. "Wait, not like that, I just meant that last time I saw you you'd just finished a job, not that you didn't look good, you're quite cute, oh my god I'm gonna stop talking now." She'd gone bright red as she rambled, and Lockwood was sure that he was the same.

"You're quite cute too," he replied, and where had that come from?! "Anthony Lockwood, yeah. I don't think I caught your name, though?" He knew exactly what her name was, but he didn't want to come across as a creep.

"Y/n, Quill's my brother. Oh, don't get that bread, that won't be any good."

He looked at the loaf he was holding and frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Uh, look at the use by date? It's for tomorrow?"

"Oh. Well there's three of us and none of us have had breakfast yet, and we can all eat for England, so I'm sure it'll be fine." She laughed, and he couldn't stop the smile coming onto his face. "You know George Karim, right?"

"Yeah! Do you know him too?"

"He's at my agency, has been for a while now."

"He did mention that, actually. Lockwood and co, right? Cool! Yeah, we quite often end up in the Archives together. Oh, I had something for him as well, but I left it at home," she slapped her hand on her forehead. "I'll bring it round later if that's okay? He said it was important for a case you're going on soon but he didn't have the time to research everything, so I said I'd help out."

"Yeah, anytime today," he smiled. "The next case we have is tomorrow night, so I'm going to assume it's that one." She nodded, then turned to leave.

"I'll see you later then," she waved, going off into a different aisle, leaving Lockwood to stare after her longingly.

~~~

That afternoon, Lockwood was reclining in his usual armchair in the living room, watching Lucy and George play cards with an amused look on his face.

"Stop winning! This is so unfair!" George was not happy, it was safe to say.

The doorbell sounded, loud and obnoxious, and Lockwood leapt up to answer it, reassuring the others that he would be just fine on his own, and George should keep playing. Lucy gave him a knowing smirk, which he chose to ignore, and when he opened the front door to see Y/n, he smiled brightly.

"Oh, hi! Is your doorbell meant to be that loud?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes. Just in case George is home alone and asleep. He's completely unresponsive when he is." She laughed, and Lockwood felt a heat crawl up the back of his neck. "Did you want to come in? I just put the kettle on."

"Tea would be amazing, thanks. And actually I wanted to talk to George about something I found this morning after I saw you," she said, coming inside and shrugging off her jacket.

"He's just-"

"OH COME ON! YOU'RE CHEATING!"

Lockwood was cut off by George himself, shouting at a laughing Lucy in the other room.

"He's in there," he gestured towards the door, then took her coat, hanging it on the stand. "I suggest you leave him a while though. Kitchen's this way if you wanted tea? I'm not sure how you take it."

"Oh, right!" She was so chipper it was infectious, and she was so different to her brother and his usual grumpy face that Lockwood had no idea how the two of them were related. She poured her tea, chatting the whole time about the papers she'd brought over, and Lockwood severely hoped that George would listen to her later or read the notes because he had been half paying attention and half thinking about how beautiful she was.

"Lockwood?"

"Hmm?" Shit.

"I asked how long you'd been here? It's a beautiful building."

"My whole life. It was my parents' house." He swallowed, fighting back the emotion that inevitably came with thinking about his family.

"Did they move out?" She seemed so genuinely confused and was so lovely the rest of the time he was surprised that he felt able to talk about it with her.

He shook his head. "My parents died when I was 6. My older sister died three years later."

"Oh. Oh. Lockwood, I'm sorry if-"

"It's alright, really. You didn't know, love." He offered up a smile, mind going blank after his use of the pet name. Where the fuck had that come from?

Her resultant blush was worth it, though, and Lockwood had just opened his mouth to say something when Lucy burst in.

"I won!" She declared, doing a victory dance. "I won, I won, I won! Oh, hi!" She waved, seeing Y/n leaning against the counter, cup of tea in hand. "Y/n, right? Kipps' sister?"

"Ugh, yeah. That's me," and Lucy and Lockwood shared a look at the girl's tone.

"Why do you sound put off by that? I mean, it makes sense, 'cause your brother is a monumental tw-"

"Lucy," Lockwood hissed, warning glance sent her way.

"A monumental twat? Yep, I know. But I'm always 'Kipps' sister', or 'Little Quill', which is infuriating, because I'm a better agent than him, and far better looking!"

"I agree on both fronts," Lockwood said, winking at Y/n. Where was all this bravery coming from? Normally he was hopeless around girls he genuinely liked.

"Y/n! You're here!"

George had entered the kitchen now, taking his mug from the counter and collapsing into a chair.

"Hi Georgie," she waved, laughing as he almost fell off the seat. "I've got those papers for you, I was just telling Lockwood about them."

"Yeah, you might wanna repeat all of it to all three of us," George said with a smirk.

"Oh, why?"

"Lockwood can't concentrate around girls he has a crush on," Lucy chipped in, hiding her smile behind her tea.

Lockwood himself stood dumbly, staring at his colleagues as his face went bright red.

"Uh... what?" Shit. Now Y/n thought he was weird, and he'd never have a chance with her.

"George, wanna play me at cards again?"

"Ugh, but you always win! It's not fair!"

"George!" Lucy said through gritted teeth, and hauled him out of the room. Lockwood heard his cry of pain as Lucy jabbed her elbow into his ribs.

"Sorry, I don't know why she said that, it's-"

"So you don't like me?" At her frown, he rushed to rectify it.

"No! I mean, yes! Wait, I do like you," he sighed, and dragged a hand over his face. "I do like you, and I'd like to take you on a date at some point if you'd let me."

When she didn't say anything, instead just standing and watching him over the rim of her mug, Lockwood tensed, already preparing to take it back.

"You're ready to deal with the fallout from my brother, right? Because when he finds out that we've gone on a date he's gonna lose his shit."

Nodding so fast he thought his head might fly off, Lockwood let a smile come onto his face. "Absolutely. So you'll go on a date with me?"

"Yes, I will go on a date with you, Lockwood. Here's my number," she picked up a pen and wrote it on the thinking cloth, "call me when you're free. If you get answer phone I'm probably in a meeting or on a case, but most of the rest of the time I'm available. Thanks for the tea!" She went to wash up her mug, but Lockwood stopped her, flushing when their fingers brushed.

"I'll do that, don't worry about it."

"Oh, alright then. See you, Lockwood." And before she left, she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"See you," he replied, still in a daze.

Kipps was definitely gonna kill him.

Part 2

[chlobliviate]

Wolfstar Microfics - Penpals

Words: 792

@wolfstarmicrofic

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

21st August

Moony,

Please tell me you’re still coming this weekend. Evans actually replied to one of James’ (many) letters, and not just to tell him to fuck off, and he is being unbearable. If I have to hear one more sentence that starts “She said” I might just unforgivable myself. Please put me out of my misery, I’ve been helping Effie cook just to get away from the lovesick prick. Note that I can cook now. I’ll show you this weekend, I asked her to teach me how to make Samosas and they’re surprisingly easy. So I can make you samosas now! Hope the moon wasn’t too bad, wish we could have been there.

Padfoot

✨✨✨✨

21st August

Pads,

I’ll be there Friday night, I promise.

To be fair to James, it’s a pretty big deal for him. But rest assured I’ll tell him to shut up if you need me to. Lily didn’t tell me that she replied to him, so now I need to fire off a letter to her and ask her if she sustained a head injury. Please don’t off yourself, I don’t want to spend the week with lovesick Prongs on my own.

Samosas! For me? I’m glad James’ arseholery has resulted in something good at least. I will never tire of Effie’s Samosas, so the bar is high! I hope you’re practicing ready for the weekend, I expect to be wowed.

The moon wasn’t great. I have two ugly new scars on my jaw/cheek, just to prepare you for the weekend.

The wolf misses his friends, and I miss mine.

Moony

🌙🌙🌙🌙

21st August

Dear Lily,

I have received news that you sent a letter to James, and I was so concerned that I had to write to you immediately. Are you alright? Were you injured? How bad was the head injury? Do they think you’ll ever gain back full brain function?

But seriously, what the fuck? He won’t shut up about it and he’s driving Sirius mad. I’m spending the week with them and if he’s as insufferable as Sirius claims, I will be blaming you.

Hope you’re enjoying France.

Also, I told you so.

Remus

🌺🌺🌺🌺

22nd August

Moons,

Sorry the moon was shit. We’ll be back at school by the next one and it’ll be better. Also, I won’t tell you again, your scars aren’t ugly. They’re cool and rugged, and make you look distinguished and mysterious. I will hear no arguments on this subject, thank you. I also meant to ask how many books you’ve read this summer. I think you’ll be incredibly proud that I have read seven whole books in the last month. One of them was mostly pictures, but I think it still counts. I’m agonised that your only issue with my death is that you’ll have to cope with Prongs’ pining alone. Do I truly mean so little to you, Remus? I fear I shall never recover from this slight.

Yours,

Pads

PS: I made another batch of samosas and honestly, you’re going to swoon when you taste them. They’re so good. Effie seems to love bonding with me over a hot stove, and it’s very sweet. I love living here so much. I try not to think about what I’d be doing if I wasn’t here, but sometimes the comparison is helpful. Well, that got sappy. My next letter will only be discussing Quidditch and boobs to make up for it. Counting down the hours til Friday.

✨✨✨✨

23rd August

Pads,

Not long to go now. Can’t wait to see you later, and for samosas.

Seven books? Wow. That’s impressive! I’m a few ahead of that, but I’ve literally had nothing to do but read since July. Moony and Padfoot book club, when?

Can you believe it’s been over a month since I saw you? Maybe you’ve finally had that growth spurt you’ve been hoping for. My mum seems to think I’ve grown, but she always says that.

It wasn’t enough for me to tell you not to top yourself in general? Do you need me to tell you how much I’d miss you creeping into my bed at 3 am and hogging the blankets? Or how sad it would make me to not have to share every cup of tea I make? Weirdly, I would actually miss that, to be fair, so please be alive when I get there.

If I wanted to hear about Quidditch and boobs, I’d write to Prongs. Please spare me. I’ll probably be with you before it arrives, so there’s little point. I might send this right before I floo so you don’t get chance to reply. If so, hi, I’m already here!

Looking forward to swooning over you! your samosas!

Your

Moony

🌙🌙🌙🌙

[im-out-of-it]

making a complete list of my thoughts of the show vs books since I finished it and will probably leave some stuff out since I’m super forgetful, sorry 💀

1. once again love that they upped the ages. glad we didn’t have centuries year old Magnus chasing teenager Alec or all the other inappropriate relationships in the books

2. Malec is fucking perfect on the show and it really showed that if any actually cares about them, they can make the characters much better and give the characters a better shot than the author ever did. I seriously love all the details Matt, Harry, and whoever wrote their episodes did. only one I cannot stand is when Alec doesn’t realize right away that Magnus and valentine switched bodies. but alec handled the immortality thing wayyyyyy better than book Alec ever could. book Alec (and pretty much TMI content and etc) barely exists let’s be real

3. Izzy and Simon are way too rushed in the series but at least they have more do a friendship and there’s no cheating storyline. but I kinda like Maia and Simon together. I feel that Maia understood Simon.

adding: I don’t mind Simon and clary in the show dating and the way they end things is not as harsh as it is in the books. maybe clary (I’m being kind lmao) actually cares about Simon in the show but still kinda uses him at times

4. might be the only thing I’ll say about the books that’s nice but it would’ve been cute to see the vacation storyline (eldest curses) in the show. would’ve been cute to see a Malec holiday and moving towards them having children 🥹

5. Maia doesn’t get enough credit. she’s one of the few sensible people on the show and gets more attention than book Maia ever did

6. speaking of Maia, I’m glad they didn’t go too extreme with the Jordan plot. in the books, I think she was made to feel to get over how Jordan treated her. but man, why does the actor have to be attractive 😭

7. I really like Maryse and Luke together. they fit each other quite well. Maryse has some of the best development in the show and I loved seeing her grow

8. glad Jocelyn was killed off. she was more insufferable in the books so glad the show decided they didn’t need that energy

9. Jace and clary are both clearly insufferable but it’s worse in the books. I feel like in the show they’re still pretty bad but it’s a little tamed

10. Alec deserved better than jace. dude had the audacity to act as though Alec is a fling, expected Alec at his beck and call to do whatever he wanted while not understanding or caring about Alec’s feelings and his needs, practically invites himself at Magnus’s place while being the worst roommate, and then taking for granted all the people who sacrificed (MAGNUS AND HIS MAGIC LITERALLY THIS LOVELY MAN LOSES HIS MAGIC AND HIS HOME AND HIS MIND) once again to help his worthless ass

11. wish they wouldn’t have killed ragnor off. we got to see a lot of vampires and wolves but not a lot of warlocks. would’ve been great to see more of Magnus’s friends. you could seriously make a whole show based off on Magnus and his life

12. kinda wish they kept camille around. I know she was drama for malec in the beginning but she’s still a very fascinating character

13. I’m 100% thankful for the show not following the books and creating their own world

14. I would’ve loved to see more of the alternate universe episodes. one of the best episodes

15. ALL THE MALEC PARALLELS. these two beautiful and desperately, devoted, in love with one another men are seriously the best part of the show 😭 the fact that there are no cheating stories (when Alec is all drunk, underhill is flirting and all Alec can talk about is Magnus. Magnus defies bisexual stereotypes when dot tries to kiss him.), no taking away immortality or throwing fits or bierasure, or any toxic storylines is one of my fav things about Malec. they’re just two beings who are so in love with one another, who communicate, and are just completely devoted to each other. and it’s one of the reasons why everyone was so hooked on Malec. they’re healthy but you’re also excitedly rooting for them 🫶🏼

16. Clary deserved to lose her ability with runes. the angels message was to not use her rune ability for whatever she pleased but she took advantage of it. but I will say, some helped but I feel that the rest she just used because she didn’t care

17. season three breakup wrecked me and I’ll not emotionally recover from that. it breaks my heart seeing Alec break his own heart and Magnus’s all so Magnus can have his magic and be whole again. I’m so glad they got married in the end 💓

18. I’m glad the twinning rune went to clary instead of jace because how many times does this worthless fucker need saved????? SERIOUSLY HOW MANY

19. I think Magnus recognizing what Alec needs at the beginning when they meet is beautiful. I don’t think it’s creepy (as some book fans state.) and it shows that Magnus understands that Alec is not ready to be out. I’m glad Magnus doesn’t get shitty with Alec on not being out like he does in the books

20. also book vs show thing. I actually like the whole marrying Lydia plot. I get the whole grand gesture of kissing in wherever they were- sanctuary???? (y’all cannot pay me enough to read TMI again, I will not go through that torture again) but I really hate that it’s not even in Alec or Magnus’s pov. CC makes a point of giving characters she chooses to have unnecessary pov

21. I probably forgot something but I mainly skipped all the clace content that didn’t involve Alec or Magnus but otherwise, messy show but so amazing for the Malec content. Izzy, Maia, Raphael, and Simon are a bonus as well. I’m just saying that the show could’ve been a whole lot worse lmao

[adamnablelittledevil]

Reacting to The Vampire Lestat - Part IV (with a bit of spoilers)

Lestat's narration has gotten so much better actually. I mean, I still don't care when he talks about stuff that doesn't have an effect on him, but when he describes things/people that actually do? It's great. It's just so vivid, rich, colorful, sometimes even abstract that simply makes me giggle and kick my feet. When he gets really thoughtful about life, vampirism, existence, religion, morality, feelings, theater, music etc, it feels like borderline insanity, but in a brilliant way? Feels like I'm tasting some crazy drug and tripping, but it's so good? It activates a very specific part of my neurodivergent brain and I love it because I'll also be having those crazy thoughts all by myself with nobody to talk to and Lestat just gets it.

I also love the excess of exclamations on this POV haha.

Sometimes it just feels like a naive child telling things and is kind of endearing.

ARMAND!

Armand in Lestat's words: he was beautiful, ethereal, sublime, exquisite, delicate, soft, perfect, a Caravaggio painting, a Da Vinci painting, an angel, I found myself in him, the possibility of him, I didn't pay attention to [whatever] because I was looking at him etc etc.

Basically calling him the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, really.

Like, I legit MEMORIZED some of them. Lestat was THAT repetitive lmao.

I don't know if it's because the words were so superlative or because Lestat had it that bad or because I have it that bad just thinking about it, but yeah.

I'm not even kidding when I say I need to take pauses because this is kind of unsettling.

I'm so serious, but I feel like reading Lestat's description of Armand has a bigger effect on me than the prettiest person I have ever seen in freaking R E A L L I F E? What the hell, WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?

Lestat, tone it down, I'm begging you.

Been told Armand is really that gorgeous and every character talks about him that way, so apparently he isn't exaggerating... I'm gonna lie down, bye.

It's even worse because I just picture show!Armand because he's even more handsome there so it makes me dizzy.

Also because Lestat won't miss an opportunity to talk about his beauty? He LITERALLY says it EVERY SINGLE TIME he sees Armand. I'm not joking, I swear on my own life. I'm like, OKAY, WE GET IT? ENOUGH!

Armand (Lestat's version) on season 3 will be insufferable and I'm so ready for it. But also not ready yk.

At this point I'm basically just drooling over him and I don't care.

PERFECT casting with Assad. He incorporates Armand like no other. Everyone on the show is talented and I can see them as their characters, but there's one thing or another that I imagine differently sometimes? But not Armand, like, my Armand looks, walks, moves, talks, stares etc the exact same way Assad does it on the show. Every single time. The others are like, 90% or something for me, but Assad is 100% my imagination? It's like he traveled in time, stole my 2024 thoughts, went back to the past, auditioned, got the part and then played it exactly the way I see it today. It's crazy.

Wouldn't be surprised if that's the case, they already have all these possessions going on, what's more to our little satanic show lmao.

Also, great casting with Assad because no man with red-ish hair has looked this good ever. It just doesn't make sense, I'm sorry.

Armand is a beauty God, but also a really good character and I love his lines. Even when I don't agree with him, I just find him fascinating, the role he has on the story, what he represents, the way he moves the plot, whatever the effect he has on Lestat etc...

Armand's moments are never boring. He'll probably piss me off later, but right now I'm having a great time and the book has never been better.

Lesmand's/Armandstat's moments are always heated. The tension is always there. I'm not telling you what kind. Actually, I don't even know it myself. Do THEY even know?

Sam said something about how you're never sure what they are and I think he's right? At least for now. Let's see it after all the books.

They also act like they've known each other forever, have this crazy history that goes through centuries and they already can push each other's buttons... But they actually, like, only know each other for 5 minutes? CHILL?!

They're sort of soul ties/mirrors/foils/two sides of the same coin-coded in an appealing way.

I guess I can say Armand is my favorite character right now. I always read it faster when he's there, I'm always looking forward to seeing him again, I'm fine when I don't see Gabrielle or Nicki, but I'm always like, BRING HIM BACK. I don't know if I should be worried I'll grow into hating him when stuff happens or if I'll just be an Armand apologist lol. I'm scared. But let's wait to see it.

Samssad on season 3 will be delicious. Specially on the 1700s flashbacks. I'm expecting almost, if not EVERY scene of them there to be INTENSE. Great acting potential there.

I really want to see a moment with Armand and Lestat in a church like on the book? Let's take their angelic faces and curls to the next level. Put them in a church, surrounded by religious figures, stained glasses, candles etc. I don't even care what the context will be. They can be talking, silent, killing each other, doing something else, doing all of it, but give me the heavenly visuals. Actually, if they want to film the entire show in a church they can, it would be so aesthetically pleasing. Bonus points if they use Gothic churches because I'm extremely obsessed with them. Bonus points if they use Sainte-Chapelle because I'm kind of even more hyperfixated on that. I mean, it would never happen, but it should *shrugs*.

Btw, the mess Armand made in the house and the way he was reading the books is very neurodivergent of him.

The way he prefers to talk telepathically instead of speaking out loud is very neurodivergent of him as well.

Nicki is soooooooooo doomed by the narrative, omg. Anne didn't even try to hide it.

I'm not really sure how I feel about Nicki except that he needs therapy...

This is probably the silliest comment so far, I'm no longer thinking clearly after Armand's introduction. Sorry, guys. It will happen again.

The next chapter has his name so I'm scared, but also excited.

P.S. Nothing is permanent, opinions might change and this is based on Lestat’s narration, which can be unreliable. I’m reading the books so I can find out more about the characters, what potential events might happen in the show, what I can expect etc. This is my favorite show in the universe, so I want to be as informed as possible. I have no idea if I’ll become a legit fan of the books or not, but so far I’m enjoying it. I’m posting these comments only for fun.

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole Part 13: I Couldn't Be More In Love

Previous part

Series Masterlist

a/n: completely ignoring the people who said this series is dead XD... to those still interested, hope you enjoy this :) love you for your continued support <3

Taglist: @scooby-doodoo @thereisaplaceintheheart @theoriginalwhatsername @eaglestar31 @thefrontofmymind @fallingforel @partoftheairforce @procrastinatinglikeapro @poisonmedaddy13 @xthe1975 @all-things-fic @jstbeeingme @rossgirly @juliardk @you-muppet @moodyyyychickx @k4tie75 (add yourself using the link in my bio 😊)

She never thought she would become dependent on them the way she had, she was unbelievably happy to be reunited with the whole gang. She was sat next to Polly, her legs swung over hers as Carly hooked her arm around her shoulders.

Matty was nowhere to be seen but she was too focused on the two girls to notice. She had missed them, dearly.

"How was Rome? Now Matty's not here you can tell us everything" Polly says and Lou smiles. She was happy to be back with the gang, reunited with her girls who she had missed a lot.

"It was amazing ..." Her words trail off and she looks at her hands, sighing.

"What's up?" Carly says, grasping Lou's hand in hers.

"Do you think we moved too quickly? He got my initial tattooed on his ring finger.... Don't get me wrong... I'm so happy... But I'm worried I'm too wrapped up in him to actually have a reasonable opinion" she says, her words rushed. The two girls share a look and then they look at Lou.

"I think... Everything that has happened has been intense... But I think it's good. It is fast but it's not too fast... Years worth of secret pining is going to lead to all this" Carly said and Lou nods, before looking at Polly, needing her opinion too.

"I think it's cute... He's so in love with you... I've never seen him this happy" she smiles at Lou and Lou smiles back.

"I really love him too... Sometimes I think it's just all too much to take in" Lou says and the girls both hug her. Matty was standing at the door, sad to be overhearing those words.

He avoids her the whole day, and what annoys him is she doesn't even seem to notice. She's spent most of the day with Polly and Carly and now is wedged between Ross and George, the three of them laughing loudly about something. They didn't have a show today, just catching up before they were wrapped back up in tour.

Matty enters the room, and her eyes find his, smiling at him, only frowning when he doesn't smile back.

"Excuse me a second..." She says to Ross and George, the both of them nodding at her as she stood, following the man who was walking away from her, back out of the room and into his own dressing room.

"Hey... What's up?" She asks, hand touching his back, he flinches. It hurts her.

"Oh so now you can notice me" he says and she frowns. He flinches at his own words, his face contorting, almost looking like he was in pain.

"Have I missed something? What's going on Matty" she says and he looks at her then, he slightly rolls his eyes before he sighs. She can see the battle going on in his mind, the storm brewing behind his eyes, before they soften and his shoulders slump slightly. He then walks up to her and wraps his arms around her. He feels small in her arms and it saddens her.

"sorry for being a dick" he mumbles into her hair. Her hands stroke up and down his back.

"Just talk to me" she says softly and he slowly pulls back.

"I heard what you said to Carly and Polly... About this" he gestures between them "being too much" she shakes her head a that.

"That's not what I meant Matty" she sooths her hands over his face, the stubble under her fingertips something she was used to now.

"I love you... You know that... It's just.." she pauses, thinking over her words, her hand absentmindedly grazing over his cheek.

"everything has happened so quickly and I haven't had time to think... Doesn't change the fact I love you" she says, offering him a soft smile in hopes he smiles back.

"What do you need to think about love? Tell me and I'll give you the space, you just need to talk to me" she scoffs at that because he didn't come to her and air his thoughts, instead he chose to be bitter and snap at her.

"Okay sorry that's unfair because I acted like a child not even two minutes ago... But we just need to talk things through okay?" She nods and her own shoulders slump this time.

"I don't know what I need to think about Matty... I just need to think, on my own. I've loved spending time with you but I haven't done much else... And I've had the best time. Truly" she smiles at him and he smiles too.

"Just need a little bit of space yeah?" He asks, holding her hands in his. She nods and then so does he.

"I can do that" she finds it very sweet that he's even willing to.

"Thank you"

"anything for you my love... Don't go too far though? Still need you" he speaks the truth.

"Of course not"

"I love you" he says and she smiles.

"I love you too" they kiss and the issue seems to be resolved. The next day she doesn't see him around as much, at some point during the day Jamie informs her that Matty was busy doing something for dirty hit. The most she sees of him is on the stage and he doesn't hold eye contact like he usually does. He's his true Truman Black self during the first half and his usual (if not slight withdrawn) self in the second half.

When they leave the stage he doesn't wrap her up in his arms like he usually does and she finds her shoulders slumping and a frown resting on her face. She watches as Matty follows the boys backstage, his arm hooking around George and Polly.

She suddenly feels a bit unwanted so makes her way to her dressing room. It's unusually tidy and bare, having not been used. She sits for a few moments, deciding that she's being silly so she returns to the group, finding a space next to Ross.

"You alright rockstar?" Again he could sense something was wrong even before she even had to say. She just nods, and Ross feels his heart pang a little, she usually would've confined in him, but right now she wanted Matty... And she didn't have him.

She stared at Matty as he laughed with George, desperately hoping he'd move his eyes across the room and hoping even more that they'd stop on her. Hoping he'd offer her a smile or excuse himself from the conversation and join her. But his eyes never falter and she's forced to look back at Ross', who's still looking down at her.

"I'm not really feeling it... Think I'm going to head back to the hotel" she informs Ross, who reluctantly hugs her and lets her leave the room. He immediately walks over to Matty, disturbing his conversation with George.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" The tall man says, looking down at Matty, who seems small in comparison now. Matty looks up at the man in shock, a look of pure confusion resting on his face.

"I just watched you completely ignore your girlfriend for the past day and now she's left and I know something is off with her but she won't tell me... Probably because she wants you and you're fucking ignoring her" Ross never spoke to Matty that way, his tone harsh and accusatory.

"She said she wanted space... I'm giving it to her" Matty says, sounding far too like the person he used to be, his voice is clipped and blunt, angering both George and Ross.

"Doesn't mean you ignore her mate" George says, making Matty's head snap to him now.

"I swear I cant do anything fucking right" Matty says, storming off, leaving the two angered men behind.

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

They get undressed in silence, Matty striping down to his black underwear, sitting on the edge of the bed as he removes his socks. Lou feels oddly uncomfortable pulling the Tshirt of his over her head, watching herself in the mirror, her underwear being completely covered by the material, resting above her knees. She'd usually smile or chuckle at herself at how the shirt drowned her and how it made her realise how tall Matty actually was in comparison to herself.

She applied moisturiser to her skin, watching Matty in the reflection of the mirror. His hair was wet from the shower he took and the room smelt like him. Her heart sinks as she sees the unbudging frown resting against his lips and the way he's worryingly tugging at his curls.

"Everything okay?" She says, finding his eyes in the mirror. They were the first words either of them had spoken and the sigh Matty lets out indicates that he wasn't happy.

"I don't know, you tell me" his voice is still clipped and blunt, making her spin in her place.

"what's that supposed to mean?" She asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You're the one that threw a tantrum and left" he says and she nearly gasps at his harsh words. Her mouth opens ready to speak but then she loses her words and her mouth shuts again. She turns back to face the mirror, not wanting to face him right now.

"So you're just going to ignore me then?" Matty says, making her whip her head back round.

"You're joking me right? You have to be joking?" She asks, she feels anger boiling in her blood.

"You're the one that's been ignoring me the whole day!" She snaps, her voice slightly raised.

"You started it!" He snaps back, standing from the bed sounding like an insolent child.

"Wow Matthew, real mature of you!" She says, taking a step towards him.

"Don't call me Matthew" he warns, taking a step towards her now.

"Don't act like a fucking child and maybe I won't" she snaps, heaving chest matching his.

"At least I didn't act like a spoilt brat... Surprised I didn't have you begging for my attention" he says, his words are harsh but there's something about his tone that's teasing and far too tempting. He takes two strides towards her now, chest flush against hers.

"You can be such an arse sometimes"

"oh an arse? Really?" He challenges. Their words fall short for a moment, the two of them looking into each other's eyes before snapping down to their lips.

Matty's eyes almost soften and she watches as his mouth briefly opens, about to say something before she interrupts.

"shut up" she forces her mouth to his, halting his speech immediately. He's quick to grip her hips, his hands moving round them until he's grasping handfuls of her arse, pulling her flush against his core. She could feel him steadily hardening beneath his boxers. He angrily moves his lips against hers, tongue powerfully pressing against hers, practically forcing them both down her own throat. But she loves it, pushing him by his shoulders in one strong shove until he's crashing down to the bed, catching himself by his elbows and watching as she draped herself over him, her thighs either side of his.

"love-"

"seriously shut up" she says, mouth pressing against his again.

"just wanted to say you look really fucking hot" he says and she has to resist the urge to smile against his mouth, instead she chooses to pull his bottom lip between her teeth, making him groan into her mouth.

Her hips press down against his making his hands snap to them, controlling her movements, forcing her to grind vigorously and firmly against him, until her head is snapping backwards and her mouth is falling open as a high pitch moan tumbles from her swollen lips.

"fuck I need you" he mumbles into her neck, one hand moving from her hip to tug the shirt over her head, revealing her pebbled nipples, his mouth claiming them in his mouth.

"oh so now you need me" she says, gasping as he thrusts his hips upwards, effectively shutting her up.

"always need you" he admits into the swell of her breast. She doesn't give in to his words like she usually would, she was angry at him, but her need for him was unfathomable and that overrode the anger. She was still going to give him a tough time for his behaviour.

"Don't think you deserve it" she says, making him pull back from her breast.

"don't act so innocent love ... You started it with this "I need space" bullshit" he says, her movements stopping.

"you know that's not what I meant" she says, resting her hand against his bare shoulder.

"Fucking felt like it" he says, his grip on her hip loosening slightly, his thumb running along the bone gently for a moment.

"I can't believe you" she says, pressing against his shoulder as she removes herself from him, bending over to pick up his Tshirt off the floor. He's quick to follow her movements, halting them with a hand to her wrist, not a firm grip at all but it stops her.

"don't leave" his voice is soft for a moment and she turns to find his soft eyes boring into hers.

"I don't really fancy spending the night with the old Matty thank you" she says, being honest with him.

"The old Matty?" His eyebrows raise and he smirks down at her for a second before his lips are moving into a frown.

"You're being an arsehole Matty, you asked me if I needed a little space and I said yes... That doesn't mean ignoring me all day and then acting like this' she says gesturing to him. He gently grabs her hand in his.

"felt like you didn't want me anymore" he says, eyes trained on the floor.

"Why didn't you just say that then? You can't just expect me to know how you feel all the time Matty" she says, still upset with him despite him telling the truth now.

"I know I'm sorry... I really am" he says, bringing her hand up to his mouth and pecking the knuckles.

"You can't just say you're sorry and expect me to come running back to you Matty...." She says, heart sinking.

"I know...." He says, eyes finding hers. She looks at him, not knowing what to say, hoping he'd say something so she didn't have to.

"I've had the best time with you and I love you so fucking much... I know it's happened quickly but it's been the fucking best. Just felt a bit shitty that you wanted space from that" he admits and she feels bad for him.

"I didn't want space from that Matty, I wanted all of that... I love you so much and I'll always want you... I just wanted a bit of space to think... To be with g and Ross and Hann and Carly and Polly and the rest.... Don't want us spending every minute of the day with each other and then realise were sick and tired of each other" she says, admitting the real reason why she asked for space in the first place.

"You're sick and tired of me?" He asks.

"no Matty" she sighs "are you even listening to me?" She pulls away from him.

"I'm sorry'

"stop saying you're sorry!" She snaps, watching as he flinches and steps further away from her, until he's sitting on the bed

"shit Matty I'm sorry" she says, stepping towards him, kneeling in front of him. The look in his face tells her everything she needed to know: he was acting this way because he was so frightened of losing her.

"Listen to me okay?" She asks, holding his hands that resting in his lap.

"I want you, I want you always Matty... These past couple of months... Everything that has happened ... It's been the best. The best thing that has ever happened to me, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me" she speaks slowly so he understands and she watches as he nods before continuing.

"but everything has been you... I've lived and breathed you everyday for the past... However long... And it's been incredible. But I guess I just needed some space... To see what that was like... And I don't want you resenting me for taking you away from everything else you should be experiencing right now, life with the boys and this tour... Do you understand that?" She says and again she watches as he registers her words, watching as he nods down at her. He gently holds her face in his palms.

"I love you, so much, I couldn't be more in love with you. You are my life now... I'm not going to feel bad about wanting to spend all this time with you... I've spent the last fuck knows how long with the boys... Pining over you in secret and wanting you in my life like this... I've never wanted something more than this band and being with my guys, until you. And now I have you I want to spend every waking moment making up for the time we lost. Do you understand that?" He asks and she nods up at him, he's quick to pull her up to him.

"I get that Matty I do, but we've got all the time in the world okay? I'm not going anywhere..." He nods at that, he's silent for a beat and takes the opportunity to place a kiss to her mouth, a gentle and loving one.

"You said you needed space to see what it's like not... Being with me all the time... Not living and breathing me..." He quotes her own words and she nods "what was it like?" He asks.

"I enjoyed being with Ross and George and everyone else... But I wanted you there too... Ross asked me how I was and... I wanted it to be you .. i wanted to tell you all about how I was feeling" she says and he can't help but smile at her.

"So.... What does that mean?" He asks, smiling at her, her face mirroring his. Neither know why they're smiling.

" I don't want space from you Matty. I want all of you... All the time.... And I know that's not exactly completely feasible... Because eventually I won't have you all the time... But up until then, I want you always... When I'm with the boys or when you are... Just... always" she says and he smiles a huge smile back at her.

"Sounds like a good idea to me" he says making her chuckle.

"I love you" she says.

"I love you too.... And I'm sorry for being an arsehole" he says.

"at least you're not an insufferable one...' she says, fingertips swiping the curls away from his face.

"Don't lie love, I'm completely insufferable" he says, making her laugh loudly.

"You're my insufferable Arsehole and I'll happily suffer you forever" she says making him laugh now.

"I'm your insufferable Arsehole" he confirms, smearing his mouth against hers.

note: guys we're so close to the end and i might cry thinking about that

[blixabargelds]

I was watching Ghost Adventures (guilty pleasure) and the frankiefic brain rot kicked in. Anything you can spill about the sftd boys? (No pressure of course) And do you believe in paranormal stuff at all? Have you been to any famous haunts even just for funsies? I’ve been to a few and they just make me sad but the aesthetics are nice. Anyways sorry to ramble your internet ear off! I hope you’re doing well and end the year on a good note! <3

hiii omg what a fun question thank youuu!! i love ghost adventures listen i like to think of sftd bucky as a smarter, sexier zak bagans. in fact they’ve for sure met and bucky found him insufferable but probably hard to stop talking to lmao

hmmm what can i spill about them hehe umm i can tell you some stuff coming up in chapter two 😈

john gets freaked out by something they see on their camcorder and tests its reliability afterwards in a very unprofessional way

they realise they’re in a signal dead spot

gale’s traumatic upbringing becomes more relevant (no his daddy was not just a guy who got drunk and sometimes violent)

john is failing at quitting smoking again

gale starts acting a lillll unlike himself !!

of courseee i believe in the paranormal! when i was about 7 years old there was something very unsettled in my bedroom which lead to the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me which was definitely not caused by a living human. my current house is haunted too. one of my best friends has very strong clairvoyance in their family. i don’t believe in ghost hunting shows, which is why i wanted to write something starting from the perspective that they’re obviously fake, but i do believe in ghosts and spirits very much. i think that not only do some souls cling onto this world but i also think this world clings onto them sometimes. it’s the same reason that i get a sick sort of euphoric feeling going out into the middle of the woods like there’s always something there you know. i don’t think science and paranormal/ spiritual beliefs have to be so one or the other. ive always held the view that science fiction simply predates fact (this is actually a pretty big reason i both spiralled with hypomanic delusions in october and found it hard to explain after that i still somewhat held the same beliefs, making it hard to convince my care team that i was feeling less manic fkhfkfj). like at one point everything we know to be scientifically proven now was a hair-brained theory so to rule out the idea of the paranormal when it’s not been proven or disproven yet is nuts to me.

i haven’t ever visited a place just because it’s claimed to be famously haunted. i actually don’t have much interest in doing so for some reason. i have been to a few famously haunted places, mostly just for history tourism reasons. i’ve been to the tower of london, which definitely felt unsettled but that could have just been the imposing nature of it lol, bodmin jail which i think was pretty dull, woodchester mansion which i didn’t notice any feeling at but i would really recommend going to because it’s a beautiful heritage site and does so much for bat species protection! the only famous haunted place i’ve been to that really creeped me out was the hms belfast. i stayed on it overnight as part of a school trip when i was about 15 and i didn’t sleep at all. really horrible feeling the whole time i was on it it was just dread. in the most part though ive had far more paranormal experiences and feelings in just ordinary places.

this is me rambling your ear off now!!! but thank u sm for the opportunity hehe i love my ghostie au boys and i love talking about ghosts in general weee i’ll welcome any excuse to go on about either! <333

[canonically47]

Dawn of the Final Review

DISVENTURE CAMP: ALL-STARS - THE FINAL REVIEW, AKA: THANK FUCK IT'S OVER!!!

SPOILERS!!! (no duh.)

this is a very long ramble btw. so so long. be aware!

the scene of marcus and nina in the cave was so useless i almost laughed. nina's delivery was so bad i giggled

tom's little shake was so fun, it's too bad the entirety of DSVC is in the same exact total drama style and ever took any fun creative liberties with their animation like those

thank you ONC for making the entirety of ashley's arc revolve around jake and his relationship drama, i totally wasn't interested in learning more about her. that half-assed background story does not make her deeper and in fact makes her appear even more shallow. your priorities are obvious and your treatment of your female characters is disgusting.

yay huntally!! so glad they got development as well! they were so fun for the whole time they argued

"you grew more than anyone here" ONC trying to make us think anyone had a worthy arc is laughable, but ALLY, GROWING AS A PERSON??? BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

"i'm sorry for being insufferable sometimes" "sometimes?" realest hunter moment ever

huntessally moment :( this is what we could've had :( fuck you genuinely ONC

ELLIE MOMENT ELLIE MOMENT ELLIE MOMENT IT'S ELLIE IT'S ELLIE TIME OMG I LOVE YOU ELLIE MY BELOVED ELLIE I LOVE YOU ELLIE ELLIE ELLIE

ew ally I MEAN yay ally... ally development moment... this is not at all half-assed or uninteresting...

LMFAOAOOAOAOAOAOOAOAOAO riya having nobody interested

ALEC MOMENT ALEC MOMENT ALEC MOMENT YAYAYAYAYYAYA ALEC ALEC ALEC

jake not choosing tom was fucking HILARIOUS. thank you jake

ewewewewewew why tom ewew ew why the fucking puppy eyes.. you're a grown ass man.... why is ashley entertaining this.. ONC WHY DO YOU FUCKING WRITE LIKE THIS

"why is this the most stressful thing i've ever done?" cuz you're a fucking idiot???

oh the poor patreons that waste their money on this shit :// sorry guys, my condolences again!! <33

this is going to be so historically inaccurate i can feel it

ok strong start, interesting premise

GO TEAM JAKE

i just know they put them in these costumes for fan service... they're so historically inaccurate it hurts like.. actually

YAOI MOMENT??? I BEG YOUR FINEST FUCKING PARDON???????

ONC trying to be hip with the kids is crazy

alellie crumbs omg i miss you dynamic duo

"don't waste your time being my shields" that's...that's their job.....??????????

alec would NOT back down from that

OMG OMGOMGOGMG FIORE FIORE MOMENT FATHER-DAUGHTER MOMENT I'M CRYING

OMGOMGOMG THE WAY ALEC GRABBED HER I'M GOING TO SOB

"YOU COULD'VE BEEN KILLED" "okay, now i'm hurt" MY LOVELIESSSSSSS I'M SOBBINGNGNNGNGNG I MISSED THEM SO MUCHHHHH WAHHHHHHHH

i'm ignoring what's happening to continue ranting about them I LOVE THEM SO MUCHHCHCHCHCH

YES ALEC GO KING

FIORE IS AN ICON

THEY'RE BOTH AAAAAAAAAAURHGHGHGHGH

WHAT IF I SOBBEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

YESSS GABBY MOMENT GABBY MOMENT I LOVE YOU GABBY GABBY MOMENT

not to be a bitch but this is kind of the most boring finale ever, they're not actively doing anything, they're just trying not to get hit, it's annoying how they're not actually like. having to work for this actively

oh my god riya i will kill you

GABBY NOOOOOOO

i love how the scar is totally inaccurate

OH MY GOD TOM ARE YOU OKAY

jake run tf are you doing

...............oh.

riya you are a MOTHERFUCKER.

GO OFF ELLIE

i fucking love you gabellie

i love how nobody is volunteering to help riya, at least ONC know how hated she has become both in and out of the show

"i just didn't think riya would go out of her way to screw me over" "do you hear yourself?" realest tomjake moment ever

urhghghghgh i just had to say tomjake moment...

EW WHAT WAS THAT SHUSHING...

they're disgusting. not for being gay but for being allo

TREMILY MOMENT!!!

what was that face trevor made lmao they couldn't afford a :3 face or what

ELLIE AND JAKE MOMENT?????

FUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAAAAAAAAA

THEY'RE SO BACK THEY'RE SO BACK THEY'RE SO BACK

yay finally they're actually doing something! we all know jake is winning come on it's kids cartoon logic that the one without the upgrade always wins

GO JAKEEE !!!

OMG BOTH HIS BOYFRIENDS CHEERED ON HIM JAJAKEDEN REAL <333

...aaand he's down. strong... start.......???

alec with his hand on fiore's shoulder :( <3

YAY GO JAKE!!!

the slow-motion looks so goofy lol

YAY JAKE

LMFAO HUNTER WITH THE 😃👍

sorry jake's wheezing is so funny to me

JAKEEE GET UP PLEASE GET UP

MAN FUCK TOM JUST GET UP

i hate how they panned to ashley after that, like yasss tell us her only role was being jake's bff !!!

"friendship speeches" she hates tomjake more than me iconic

FUCK HER UP JAKE

FUCK HER UPPPPP

NO

PLEASE. DO NOT.

.....oh my god.

oh. my god.

they actually did that.

...what the fuck.

jake :(

jake... what the fuck his whining is getting to me fuck i love him so much he's :(((

NOBODY IS HAPPY FOR HER I'M SO GLAD

"another incredible season" yeah sure

ugh whatever at least it's over who cares

oh yay wishley! who the fuck cares.

FIORE AND ALEC HOW I LOVE YOU SO <333

OMGGG LAKE AND JAIDEN <333

man yk what fuck it, i'll be the bigger person and admit tomjake was cute this episode. it doesn't take away from the fact that they fucking sucked all season, but it gives them some points in my mind. maybe in another universe ONC could've actually written them well from start to finish, but for now, i'll take my crumbs and admit i can fid them somewhat cute

not letting go of arospec tom though. never.

sobbing /pos <333333333

crazy how they got three polycules in the same shot woah. huntessally, tomjajakeden & gabgrellie real?!??!?!?!?!!!

they're literally girlfriends

FUCK YES CONNOR

YES STAND YOUR GROUND MY MAN

"i won" "was it worth it?" FUCK. YES. FUCK!! YES!!!!

"have a nice life, riya." THIS IS THE ENDING YOU DESERVE BITCH

HELL YESSS HELL YES HELL YEAH FUCK YES

not even mad she won !!! bc at least they despise her

yay quit i do't want more seasons

why is oliver so pressed

"the producers won't cancel the show if you leave" FUCK.

ughhh trevek again...

HOLY SHIT ROSA MARIA AND SOFIA

OH MY GOD LILL AND NICK??? HELLO??? HELL-FUCKING-O???

OH MY GOD :((( THIS SEGMENT :(((

OWHWUWUWHWHW... HUNTALLY...

TOMJAKE AND MIRIAM...

OH GRETT...

ORUHGHGHGHGHGH FIORE AND ALEC ALEC SHAVED :(( ALEC SHAVED :((((( HE MOVED ON FINALLY

lmao fuck you riya

wanna bet eesha will be in the next season

oh.. the soft piano.... it's........doing something to me......................

THEY PUT TREVEK MISSING TRUMP IN THE CREDITS LMFAOAOOAOAOA

crazy how i've seen like.. all this fanart.... i fw this fandom heavy

JAKEDEN IN THE CREDITS WE WON

JAKEDEN TWICE WE WON FR

sigh. so, it's over! i definitely have a lot of... mixed feelings on this season. as you've noticed if you've kept up with my reviews, i constantly went from loving it, to hating it, to despising it with every fiber of my being, to liking it, to disliking it, and then repeating that cycle numerous times in different orders.

disventure camp: all-stars was definitely bad. sadly, no amount of sweet piano music and decently-written moments will make me forget how much i have become frustrated with this show. i would not recommend this show to anyone purely because of DCAS and its surprisingly bad quality. the writing was inconsistent and messy, the character arcs felt forced and with little to no pay-off, the ships were badly handled, the female characters were always, without fail, put down or cast aside for the male characters, the WLW couple was brushed off for the MLM ones, and so forth.

disventure camp is imperfect in every way, but i will acknowledge the fact that it is made with love (because it's not care that's for sure SORRY, sorry i'll be nice). even though i joke about how i feel bad for the patreons or those that genuinely like it and do not see its flaws, i still find myself attached to this show. i can understand why others would be, too. as a writer, i can never brush past their many, many mistakes, but i will admit they have their good moments.

they have the occasional character that escapes their wrath - jake, for example, was probably the best character this season. i've seen many complain about him because they were unable to let go of their biases, but i genuinely believe he was phenomenal. after spending so much time stuck in the same mindset, he managed to grow as a person. he befriended aiden, he got over & forgave tom, and hey, he got the boy back. their ending also makes me feel hopeful for their spin-off, even though i wish they had never gotten one because there are much more interesting characters worth exploring.

grett's arc was close to being as great as jake's, but ONC cannot really write female characters. i guess they're listening to fresh TV's teachings? she had her moments, but she was held back from true greatness. she deserved to make finale, if not win - but that's maybe biased so i'll just leave it at this lol

we got some fun friendships this season, such as ashley & jake, grett & gabby, connor & alec, and i am trying so hard to be positive right now and ignore that two of them were ruined/not carried out to their full potential because of relationship drama

okay, super positive time, I FUCKING LOVE THAT FIORE AND ALEC MADE UP. OKAY. I WAS STARTING TO LOSE HOPE SO BADLY THAT THE BEAST ALMOST MADE ME INTO A TREE (hi corn are you proud i made a OTGW reference. love u corn) BUT ALAS I CUT MYSELF FREE BECAUSE FUCK YES WE GOT THEM BACK!!! WE GOT THEM BACK!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO HAPPYYYYYYYYY <333 <333 <333

their development was probably the best relationship development in this season and i am SO. HAPPY YOU GUYS. oh my GOD. i missed them SOOO BADLY <333 that last episode REALLY fed us alec & fiore father-daughter nation holy shit i love them

i really wish things were... so, so different this season. i wanted to see actual growth in characters and relationships, less petty drama and more actual strategy, and, you know, for the winner to not be the second-placing person from the second season. that. that was bad. we can all agree that despite everyone hating on her it was bad right. like that. should not have been the ending

i wish some characters hadn't just come back to be vessels for drama. ashley and connor were only there for the development of jake and riya respectively and it kills me how obvious it is. the only reason i dislike ashley is because all she is, is jake's bff who played a small part in getting him with tom. her entire role is just to be there for a gay ship. that SUCKS.

huntessally should've also been a bigger part of the season and have gotten together. i will never not be mad about ONC not giving us the polyamorous rep they kept teasing. because c'mon why confirm them all as mspec and promote them together in social media and pride posts if you just made ally & hunter the couple and not all of them together. i mean sure i'm okay with them being '''just''' friends, not everything has to be romantic & having even MORE allos on this show would've been exhausting but. huntessally :(((

ALEC SHOULD'VE BEEN IN THE FINALE there i said my bias there it is. also fun fact before DCAS my choice for the winner was actually tom. uh now i don't even like the guy so. yea i wish we had gotten a grett-alec and someone else other than riya finale with alec winning. he deserved it before they ruined him for that tiny bit but it's okay we don't talk about it

the finale gets 7/10 and, overall, DCAS gets a 4/10. not enough decent points to get it the, if you will, passing grade. again, i will never recommend it to anyone ever. i tried to be positive - and truly there are some things i like about this show! all that screaming i did above over gabellie, fiore & alec and so forth was real excitement i promise !! - but it's a fucking trainwreck.

for my sake, i hope i do not watch disventure camp season 4. i'm probably not leaving the fandom indefinitely, i will still lurk and maybe if i get any ideas post some fic fixing this show cuz god knows we need it, but yeah. when season 4 comes out, i'm officially out of the picture. i will hopefully never rewatch the first three seasons and if i do, it should be years in the future when i will have no emotional attachment to the characters and thus not be disappointed by how bad the show is.

sooo i guess i'll still be around for a while but i will NOT be watching any new content ever. for my sake. i hope you can understand if you wanted me to share any thoughts on the spin-offs or such lol

well, this has truly been a journey. i'd be lying if i said i hated every moment of it, but i definitely did not enjoy it for the most part. however, constantly getting asks about the show - and getting to interact with you all over on @disventure-rewrite-takes - has made this so, so fun. i'll be making a separate post on the rewrite takes account about what will happen next to it :)

thank you review anon for the asks, you have been amazing, i really appreciated you coming out every other week and requesting my review, it was so so kind of you <3

thanks to the anons on the rewrite takes blog, i'll get into more detail there when i officially drop the account though, so no sappy stuff juuuust yet but tysm for being a blast you guys!!

and also friendship wins so shoutout corn @cornfields-td-nonsense for being the best and ranting & rambling with me about the episodes, leaving fun asks on the rewrite blog, and just overall putting up with me. i love you man, you're great, and i love exchanging interests, ideas, reviews, and such, roleplaying with you is awesome and i'm so grateful you listen to me yap yap yap like crazy, you're amazing and again i love you !!!!!!

so yay! disventure camp! ....i am so glad it's over holy shit it's a weight off my chest.

we're back in the sanders sides phase and i have no idea how to end this so i'll just do it thomas style no matter how cringe it is IDC HOW CRINGE IT IS!!!!!!!!!! so until next time, take it easy guys gals and non-binary pals, and PEACE OUTTTTTT <33333