#sorry this is a rambly mess half formed thoughts and all

[owlbear33]

gotta wonder how the bar on the enterprise works, specifically talking about the bar on TNG era Trek, Ten Forward

like I can see reason for a communal drinking location but why is it a bar, why not a self-service canteen

I'm discounting capitalist reasons (it's not a business in the we don't use money society) and I can't imagine it being a restricted supply thing (replicators??) but like there are obviously bottles of beverage, and bar staff to serve them, you can probably replicate any drink you want, like functionally There's no need for the bar to be anything other than a stack of replicators in a room

so then does the bar and the bar staff and the unlabeled bottles of beverage serve a social function, does talking about what to drink and then watching them pour it do something, is it part of the culture much the same way the communal drinking locations are, is it a safety feature, the bar staff are there so Starfleet doesn't drink itself into a stupor (bars are after all a safe consumption site), are the replicators in other parts of the ship blocked from replicating booze, some or all of these things

[mintaikkcorpse]

Okay, so, we're all freaking out bcuz this is the first time a beast has used the word "love" to describe what they feel for their ancient, right?

The other beasts all have some kind of obsession with their ancient, bcuz they have the other half of their soul jam, which would make them soulmates in some fucked-up way. But, obsession is still a form of love. So, I really want to go over how the Beasts "love" their ancients, even if it is kinda (EXTREMELY) fucked up.

Also, before I go on with this, don't spam my replies and reblogs with, "But it's toxic-" I KNOW! THAT'S THE POINT! IM EXPLAINING THE WAY THE BEASTS HAVE SUCH A TOXIC, TWISTED LOVE FOR THEIR ANCIENTS.

(This is going to be such a rambly mess, and I'm sorry)

Burning Spice

Burning Spice is obsessed with Golden Cheese because he's bored (he's actually depressed bcuz history is just a cycle of evil people hurting each other and innocent people only for the civilizations to all crumble in the end because of those evil people, but saying he's bored is easier than saying all of that), and he believes that Golden Cheese will make him feel alive again (by hunting her and having both of them fight each other to the death but you know-).

His kind of obsession torwards Golden Cheese is the (literal) destructive kind. He wants to kill her, but he also wants her to try and kill him.

The first time he meets her in person, he congratulates her for beating up Nutmeg Tiger Cookie and says, "Yes, excellent! I like my prey to have a little bit of fight in them!" He literally gets DISSAPOINTED when she was easy to defeat, but he doesn't kill her, nor fuse their soul jams, because he wants to keep her alive so she's angry enough to try and actually kill him, because he believes that it will be "electrifiying" to fight her (his words, not mine). He speaks of hunting her like it's all some fun game, because he believes that she is exciting, and he hasn't felt excited in a long, long time. He even gives her nicknames when he talks to her such as "Little bird", and he even calls her "his" and "his prey." And, I'm sorry to say this, but you could read their battle dialogue as some version of flirting-

Burning Spice: "Oooh! I see you still can channel the power of your Soul Jam! Good... I'm glad I didn't make it mine yet!"

Golden Cheese: "Hmpf... Yes. Yes, that might just be your greatest achievement! Know that I do not give praise lightly. You really should be thankful!"

Burning Spice: "Ha ha ha ha! Ahhh, lovely! Keep going, I'm thoroughly enjoying our little dance!"

He gets excited when he realizes that she isn't weak and can still fight him. He literally compliments her by calling her, "lovely", and then refers to their fight as a dance. That's flirting. That's literally flirting.

Anyways. Back to destruction as love.

I know, I know, I've said he's completely obsessed with destroying her multiple times in this post, but, for the person reading this who doesn't play the game or keep up with the lore (why are you reading this then???? Like, I'm happy, but huh???), I cannot stress enough that when I say "obsessed", I REALLY DO MEAN IT

SHE DEFEATED HIM. I THOUGHT SHE KILLED HIM WHEN SHE DID! SHE DROPPED A WHOLE AS BUILDING ON HIS HEAD.

And this motherfucker LAUGHED, when she did.

This mf is down bad, and NOT in a healthy way.

Tldr: Burning Spice loves in a incredibly destructive way, since he believes that fighting and killing Golden Cheese will make him feel alive again.

Mystic Flour

Mystic Flour has an obsession with Dark Cacao bcuz she wants to show him apathy, though, I honestly don't see them in a twisted romantic kind of way. More honestly a fucked up, misguided person trying to teach another person. She even mentions that she's old, and she talks to him as if she's a teacher. But, don't think that just because her care for him isn't romantic that it isn't interesting.

The thing about Mystic Flour Cookie is the fact that she believes that everyone embracing apathy and turning into flour is the only way the world can be at peace. She wants the other half of Dark Cacao's souljam so she can gain the power to do so, and, the easiest way to do that is for him to embrace apathy himself and give her the souljam.

But, despite her being apathetic (though she is definelty not beating the "Igaf" allegations. I see you being sweet to Cloud Haetae, girl), there is some sort of care when she talks to Dark Cacao. After all, even though she says she feels nothing, what she wants to do to the cookie world, she does because she cares. She just goes the wrong way about it. She believes that Dark Cacao's resolution and determination are only weighing him down, and she wants to help rid him of it.

Throughout the entire story, Mystic Flour guides him like a teacher would to a student. She takes him down the path of apathy; telling him the story of how she came to her conclusion, turning his soldiers into flour, waiting atop the mountain as a sort of test to see if he still had his resolution, and telling him about how everything suffers for no reason and apathy is the only way you can stop it. And, when those don't work, she keeps showing him and teaching him and trying to get him to return to flour. She goes so far as to show an illusion (I think it's an illusion? Could be an alternate timeline or smthn) of his son, Dark Choco, ruling the Dark Cacao Kingdom, and how, if he crumbled here, no one would miss him. She says that his kingdom is a moment in time, and that with time, he will be forgotten, and all of his efforts in his kingdom will be forgotten as well. And, for a brief moment, Dark Cacao accepted apathy. But, that's when she took his soul jam.

The thing is, if this was all a ploy to take his souljam, Mystic Flour would've stopped there. But she didn't. When the Dragon's escape, and he no longer has his souljam, nor his sword, Mystic Flour asks him how it feels to finally see the world of white. She then explains to him her plan of how she wants to guide everyone into Enlightenment.

This is the scene where she gently cups his face, and says this to him:

"Would I not be doing you a favor by relieving you of the burden you have carried your whole life? Now, there is nothing holding you back. Live the rest of your life free from any burdens, sorrows, and responsibilities."

She believes she is doing him a favor. She wouldn't go through so much to explain what she is doing to him and to comfort him in (what she thinks are) his last moments if she didn't care about him.

Tldr: Mystic Flour Cookie cares for Dark Cacao in the way a teacher would care for a student. She takes the time to teach him about apathy, even after she got ahold of the souljam, and even tells him that she believes she is doing him a favor. She wants him to turn the flour, just like she wants the rest of the world to turn to Flour, because she doesn't want him to be burdened in his life anymore. If he is flour, he no longer feels pain.

...Fucking. Shadow. Milk. Cookie

Oh God, where do I even begin with this-

Okay, so Shadow Milk's obsession with Pure Vanilla DEFINETLY goes beyond the simple "I want my soul jam back", no matter how hard he tries to make it seem that way. If that was the case, he wouldn't trap PV in his spire and play games with him and give him his own room which he made sure looks EXACTLY like his room in his kingdom and being all happy and giggly when PV says the he is his forever-

Yeah, it's a lot.

Shadow Milk Cookie is lonely. Once the Fount of Knowledge, forced to hold the horrifying truths of the world and realizing that the cookies would much prefer a nice lie over a bitter truth. He fell to deceit because of that realization. And throughout all of it, he was alone. He never had a normal life, because he was baked as an adult and immediately thrusted into a world to be the Fount of Knowledge. He never got that choice. He was always a god, with everyone else being below him, whether he liked it or not. It's difficult to make regular connections when everyone Worships you.

And this obviously had an effect on him. Shadow Milk is incredibly lonely (one of the devs even said that himself), so when he saw Pure Vanilla Cookie with his soul jam, someone who was like him all those years ago, who is worshipped as "the perfect hero" and only wants to seek the truth, his mind was filled with the emotions of rage, jealousy, but also hope. Pure Vanilla Cookie is just like him, after all. He can finally find someone who understands him.

Except his version of "You're the only one who understands me", is making Pure Vanilla Cookie suffer, telling PV that he'll just end up like Shadow Milk (a beast who sees no meaning in truth and who just wants to watch the world fall into chaos), and taking away everything he once loved. #justgirlthings🥰🥰🥰

But that doesn't stop the fact that Shmilk still yearned for someone to understand him, and Pure Vanilla is the closest thing he'll get to that, bcuz they have lived very similar lives, and now, they share their soul jam as well. And trust me when I say that his obsession with Pure Vanilla goes beyond the soul jam. Shadow Milk really wanted them to fuse their souls, and knowing that makes a lot of his dialogue make much more sense.

"You and I are bound..."

"Why, you've said it yourself! We are like the two sides of the same Coin!"

"Oh but it's inevitable. In the end, you will become... me! And it's gonna feel good!"

And, while Burning Spice and Mystic Flour wanted to destroy their ancients, Shadow Milk doesn't. He wants to keep Pure Vanilla alive, and have him stay with him in the spire. ("Why don't you stay for another day? Or FOREVER")

Since a lot of showing that him and PV are the same, he also took great pleasure in psychologically torturing PV and deceiving him. He tortures PV because he wants to know how far he can push him before he snaps, so, while he relishes in the game, he also is excited for when PV finally admits that Shmilk was right. It's why he was so damn excited when PV became Truthless Recluse, and started using his own deceiving tactics.

To survive the Yogurt River of Rebirth, one has to embrace deceit, he congratulates Pure Vanilla Cookie for surviving it and coming out on the other side, even though, if he died, he could take his soul jam back

When Pure Vanilla tricks him in the game of Chess and cheats, using his own methods against him, he is ESTATIC! He is laughing, and his sprite is blushing, and he talks about how he "wants to keep playing with his new favorite toy." Even Black Sapphire is surprised because, according to him, "He doesn't give multiple second chances." So, obviously, PV is a special Cookie to him

Shadow Milk also has an obsession with Pure Vanilla being "his." For Burning Spice, he meant like, "his to destroy", but Shadow Milk's version of it has a lot more romantic-coded undertones.

"Indeed, all this time, you've been my most treasured marionette!" (I think it's doll in KR, which I think is better. You control your marionettes, but you hold dolls close to you)

"Ah, there you are! My long-lost other half!"

"YES! YES! YOU ARE MINE!"

Anyways, to the point that made everyone lose their shit: fusing their damn souljams.

"Pure Vanilla: "Is this what you wanted? or is it even better? Instead of one Soul Jam of Knowledge, you will have two Soul Jams of Deceit. And me, forever by your side"

Shadow Milk: "You would do that, after what I just did to your friends?"

Pure Vanilla: Hah! It's no longer important. Now it's clear as day. There simply is no point in denying it... You and I... We are meant to be together.

Shadow Milk: Ah ha... Ah ha ha...! HA HA HA HA HA!

Shadow Milk: "Yes, YES! Now, you are mine!"

They fuse their souljams together. Shadow Milk didn't just want the soul jam; he wanted Pure Vanilla along with him. But then, in the ultimate deceitful betrayal, PV tricked him, and takes back the soul jam, separating their souls, and becoming even more powerful. Shmilk is completely heartbroken and tries to dearroy PV (and the souljam in the kr dub), but of course, PV defeats him. But, instead of going away after that, PV says that he felt how lonely Shadow Milk was, and that he's the only one who can understand him, something that Shadow Milk hws been looking for for a long, long time, and asks if he wants to be his friend. The worst part is that, with the way Shmilk's voice softened, he actually thought about it.

He then proceeds to crash out and try to destroy him again, but we still saw what we saw. Shadow Milk really just wanted someone who could understand him.snd be by his side so he wouldn't have to feel lonely anymore...

Also, I feel the need to point out that this is the only time in the story where Shmilk gets upset at PV for deceiving him, and that's bcuz it was emotional. The other times were a fun game to show that he is becoming him, but this time, he lied to him about being by his side forever, only to leave.

And then, other things I couldn't put in here that alludes to a romantic kind of love

Candy Apple Cookie is jealous of Pure Vanilla Cookie, and she canonically has a crush on Shadow Milk

Shadow Milk gave PV a plushie of him in his room

The story for Shmilk's special cakehound is that he is a wolf who fell in love with the cream sheep, and just wants to be closer to it. All I'm saying is that Shadow Milk already has multiple "wolf in sheep's clothing" things in his story, and Pure Vanilla is associated with cream sheep

The KR voice actors for them doing a duet together as their characters????

Anyways, I truly do not have the energy to talk about Shadowvanilla for millionth time. I'm moving on now.

Tldr: Shadow Milk loves Pure Vanilla like how someone would love their favorite doll, so he constantly dotes on him and plays games with him, but, as you own a doll, you control whatever it does and stop it before it gets out of line. A doll is also what helps someone feel less lonely (why do you think traumatized kids are always given dolls in therapy?), so there's that as well.

ETERNAL GOD-DAMN SUGAR COOKIE

Oh, baby, you thought that Shadow Milk was bad? WAIT TILL YOU SEE ETERNAL SUGAR COOKIE!

But, out of all of the Ancients, Sugar's love for Hollyberry is probably the most obviously romantic one out of all of them. She constantly dotes on Hollyberry, is really sweet to her (even if a bit twisted), looks at her through her crystal ball and smiles, calls her "her other half" (just like shmilk), and "my love", is constantly in her personal space, talks a out how she just wants Hollyberry to be happy, makes a song which she says "is just for you (Hollyberry) alone," etc, etc. Yes, she wants her soul jam back, but why not just take the soul jam and be done with her? Yet, Sugar asks for Hollyberry to "stay by her side", which isn't something you ask someone you supposedly hate and see as your enemy to do.

__________________________

Okay, so like, I wrote all that BEFORE the other half of ET'S update came out. And now it's confirmed she has feelings for Hollyberry so....

I think Eternal Sugar Cookie has BPD, and that VERY much affects how she loves. If you're curious, here's the full BPD symptoms list. I'm going to make a post that goes over how these symptoms apply to her, so look forward to that ig.

But anyways! Eternal Sugar's story shows that she is INCREDIBLY lonely and has an INTENSE fear of abandonment. She didn't want the other half of her soul jam; she even let Hollyberry leave without it. She gently just wanted Hollyberry by her side forever.

I think she has this toxic, romanticized view of Hollyberry. I've said it before, but the Beasts and the Ancients are LITERAL soulmates because their souls are both tied to the souljams. Sugar must've also seen it like that, because she constantly refers to Hollyberry as "her other half", and again, didn't even wanna take the damn souljam away from her. She says that she felt like her soul was "missing something", and, now that Hollyberry is here, "everything feels complete!" She doesn't need her souljam to feel complete, because Hollyberry Cookie, her other half and the one who wields the other half of their soul jam, is right there beside her.

All she knows is that Hollyberry Cookie makes her feel complete. Combine this with her genuine want to make a paradise for cookies, and this leaves the belief that Hollyberry can only find happiness if she's with Eternal Sugar, and that creates the belief of, "She doesn't know what she wants. If she stays here with me, both of us will be happy! But if she leaves, both of us will be miserable."

And, because she's a god whose gone insane, anytime Hollyberry tries to escape, she always does something that she thinks is helpful, but she knows will make her stay.

Giving her and her teammates a scent that will attract monsters so they come back to her garden for safety

Harming Wildberry Cookie via the monsters so she has an even bigger reason to stay

Showing how happy that Hollyberry Soldiers are in the garden

Attending to her every want and need

Bringing the Hollyberry Kingdom to the garden so she won't leave, and then giving them something that will make them happy to show that they would be miserable if they go back

Trapping her teammates in jars, because she knows that she will not leave without them.

One thing I love about Eternal Sugar is that she isn't manipulating out of malice. She isn't thinking, "Hehehee, I'm going to manipulate this cookie for funsies." She's doing it because she genuinely believes this is what will make both of them happy, and because she does love Hollyberry in some fucked-way. Her mind is probably going, "Hollyberry Cookie is misguided in what she believes in. I will do all those to show her she is wrong, and that she can only find true happiness if she stays here with me."

Because that's how a lot of abusers work. A lot of abusers do love their victims. But, the love they feel is so, so incredibly toxic and not the way someone deserves to be loved. Eternal Sugar's love for Hollyberry feels like how an obsessive abuser would feel about their partner, and I love it.

So, when I go over this scene, please know that I don't think that ET is doing this because it's fun. She's doing this because she believes it will make Hollyberry stay with her. Even Shadow Milk did that to an extent. While yes, he did enjoy torturing PV, it was all so he could get him to embrace deceit and stay by his side. For most abuse cases, there's always another reason.

(Not defending abusers, I'm explaining things. You don't have to sympathize with your abuser AT ALL. And I'm not just saying that to say that. This is the bitch who still holds grudges from the assholes in middle school who made her feel like her body was an object meant to be ridiculed, judged, and to be eyecandy for horny men who dont understand consent. YOU DONT HAVE TO FORGIVE YOUR ABUSERS).

______________________________

At the end of their story, Eternal Sugar says that she will let her leave with the cookies she holds dear, as long as she sees what will happen if she does, and if she takes a bite from the Golden apple. Sugar then shows Hollyberry a world where Dark Enchantress Cookie takes over her kingdom, with all of her friends and family dying trying to protect her. This, obviously, horrifies Hollyberry and she feels conflicted about leaving, and Sugar tries to convince her to stay, by reminding her of her past emotions and how awful she felt, and saying she won't have to feel those in her Garden.

What she did is a manipulation tactic. She made it seem like she gave Hollyberry a fair choice, but in reality, what she did was manipulating Hollyberry's emotions because she knows that most cookies would refuse to after seeing that, and then she tells her that, to make that go away, she can stay here. What she showed her probably wasn't even real (GingerBrave would NEVER let that happen), so she purposely gave Hollyberry a false idea, which she thought would make her stay.

So, when Hollyberry STILL chooses to leave, and Sugar's begging and pleading don't work (she also pulls the "no one understands you like I do" card while doing though, and I do think that she genuinely believes that), she crashes out. HARD

(I showed this to my sister who doesn't play crk, and she went on a rant about how "any yuri that toxic should just end in a join suicide" and "what the fuck? Is this supposed to make me want to play the game?" But, you know)

When she realizes that Hollyberry doesn't want to be with her, she starts flooding the entire Garden with jam, and only stops after they defeat her. Even then, she keeps repeating, "Don't leave. Don't leave", because she is so, INCREDIBLY hurt at the thought of being abandoned.

And that's another thing. Eternal Sugad has a MAJOR fear of abandonment (BPD symptom as well) and will do anything to keep those she loves from abandoning her.

Sugar says that she cares about everyone in her garden, and I really don't think that she's lying. But, it's because she cares about them that she keeps them trapped in her garden because she believes that if she doesn't, they will leave her and go into a world of pain and suffering.

And now, someone who she loved so much to call her her love and other half, has left her. After she tried so, so hard to make her stay.

But, lucky for her (or unlucky depending on how you see it), Hollyberry has still given her hope when she decided to save her.

Instead of being mad, Sugar is overjoyed that he other half decided to save her. She asks Hollyberry if she changed her mind for her, and, even though Hollyberry doesn't answer her, she tells Sugar to think about her advice (waking up and understanding that this isn't healthy), and, to my surprise, Sugar said that she would! She even lets Hollyberry go, without any of that weird monster scent stuff!

I think it's because, in that convo, Hollyberry said that she would come back. Eternal Sugar now knows that Holly isn't leaving her forever, and she will come back at some point. So, she wants to focus on making the perfect place for her when she returns.

Tldr; Sugar's love is obsessive and tied to her belief that what she is doing is right, her major fear of abandonment, romanticization of Hollyberry, and the fact that she's incredibly lonely.

_____________________________

Has it ever occurred to you that, with each update, it appears as if the beasts wanna fuck their ancients more and more? Atp, I'm half expecting White Lily and Silent Salt to just nasty fuck on screen...

[hughes-your-daddy]

UH OH!

paring: quinn hughes x fem reader

warnings: swearing, labour, pregnancy

summary: your summer trip to the lake house ends in one extra person coming home with you.

it all started with a movie night. the whole family together for the first time since everyone made it out to michigan. jack, luke, quinn, ellen, jim and you. all bundled up on the l shaped couch, drowning in blankets and snacks.

quinn lays to the side of you on the l - shaped section, head resting on your chest, unconsciously tracing his fingers over your swollen 8 and a half month stomach.

one of the jurassic movies plays in the background, your eyes starting to droop, ready to fall asleep until a sudden quench of thirst hits you.

slowly, you peel off of quinn, a small pout forming on his lips as you giggle at him.

“you alright sweetie?��� ellen asks, as quinn helps push you up from the couch.

“oh, yeh all fine, just need a drink. anyone want anything?” you ask, looking over to the others as they all decline.

you make your way into the kitchen, moving to open the cabinets and grabbing a cup to fill up with some orange juice. opening the fridge, you see some pickles which automatically catch your eye, completely forgetting about the orange juice and grabbing the jar instead.

you move around the kitchen to grab a plate before placing a few pickles on it, moving around to rest your elbows against the island.

so far, your pregnancy has been smooth sailing, all scans were prefect, any tests done came back clear. the nursery was set up at your shared apartment back in Vancouver, jack and luke even coming over for a few days to help paint and build furniture.

you had even gotten close to a name, but without knowing the gender yous didn’t want to commit to anything right now. saying that, yous also haven’t found the right options for a girl or boy, none of the names seeming to sit right with yous.

your eyes float back over to the empty glass, groaning when you remeber why you came here in the first place. pushing yourself off the island you move back over to the fridge leaving your 2 pickles to sit on the counter.

you go to open the fridge, startled by a sudden release of liquid between your legs. frozen, you slowly look down seeing a off-coloured liquid leak down between your legs. you snap back into reality just as you hear

“hey y/n, your nearly done-“

the sound of your fiancés voice rounding the corner of the island, freezing at the sight.

“quinn,” you say meeting his eyes, “i think that’s my waters.” your voice wavers slightly, a twinge of panic settling in your chest.

“shit shit, umm ok,” he mumbles rushing over, taking your hands and walking you over to a bar stool at the island, “your ok, just take a breath yeh?” he settles you on the stool, gently pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“i-it’s still going, why’s it still going? i thought it came all at once? do you think-” you begin rambling, only to be cut off by lips on yours.

“breathe baby. you’re ok,” he repeats, pulling back to look directly in your eyes, “i’m gonna get my mom and we’re gonna go to the hospital ok?” he says, voice calm and smooth. you manage to nod, feeling speechless.

you hear quinn call out to his mom and footsteps plodding down the hall, as all thoughts and panics swim your head.

“quinn it’s too early, im only 8 months, i-i don’t even have any contractions.” you ramble once again only to be cut off by a different voice this time.

“hey honey, you need to take some deep breaths for me,” your eyes focus to see ellen stood infront of you with her hands on your shoulders, “it’s not too early trust me, i’ve done this three times and none of them were anywhere close to their due date.” she sends a soft smile over to you, your eyes wandering over to see jack and luke mopping the floor with paper towels.

“i’m so sorry about the mess-“ you start, ellen interrupting you by clearing your throat.

“the least we can do for you, your bringing our little niece or nephew into the world.” luke smiles up to you, jack agreeing.

“do you have your midwife’s number y/n?” ellen asks, you nodding as quinn goes back into the living room to grab his phone, dialling the midwife.

“quinn, you need to tell her y/n’s waters have broke but there are no contractions yet ok? she’ll probably contact the hospital here to ask whether to send yous over or not.” she instructs quinn with a calming voice,he hands gently rubbing circles over your shoulders.

“why isn’t it stopping?” you ask, feeling a slow but growing puddle in your stool.

“that’s completely normal sweetie, not like the films where it all comes at once.” ellen answers, moving across the fill up a glass of water, “ but you have to keep hydrated ok?” she asks and you nod, hearing quinn back beside you on the phone to the midwife.

“yeh.. ok.. thank you so much.” quinn finishes slipping his phone into his sweatpants, “she said it should be alright to go to the hospital. she rang and they said they have plenty of room.” he says sending a soft smile your way.

besides the panic and worry filling your whole body, there’s a warmth and joy, knowing your going to finally be able to hold your little baby.

“do you think i could change clothes?” you ask, knowing your (or quinn’s) sweatpants are soaked and most likely your hoodie too.

“of course honey, i’ll try and pack a few things for you, i know your hospital bags back in vancouver.” ellen smiles, pressing a small kiss to the top of your head before disappearing.

“you think you can walk?” quinn asks gently, as you nod. quinn takes one of your hands, while jack takes your other arm, weary of the still, very sloppy, wet floor.

“thanks jacky.” you giggle as you can sense he is so confused right now.

“just make sure my little niece is alright yeh?” shoots back, smiling at your chirping.

“we don’t even know the gender yet jack.” quinn says as you get back to the carpeted floor.

“i just have this feeling.” jack smiles before heading back to finish mopping with luke.

“ok, just up some stairs honey.” quinn softly says, the two of you slowly making your way up the flights of stairs to the room yous are staying in.

you make your way across to the bed and quit gently sits you down moving across the room to the set of drawers beside the window pulling out some clothes.

“are these ok?” he asks holding up a pair of his flannel pyjama pants. you match his small smile, knowing they’re your favourite before he pulls out one of his canucks training hoodies and making his way back over to your bed.

he gently pulls your hoodie off, the hem at the bottom slightly wet and throws it into the en-suite to deal with later.

“you wanna keep this on?” he asks, referring to the small cropped tank top underneath, you shake your head knowing it’ll come off anyway, leaving you in your bra before he slides the new hoodie over top. he then starts on your sweat pants peeling off the now soaked one, throwing them also to the bathroom before moving away to grab a towel and dry down your legs.

“your incredible you know,” quinn says, as he dries down your thoughts, you giggle at the random comment making him look up at you, “just wanted to let you know.” he smiles, tossing the towel aside and pulling on the new pants, before helping you back to your feet.

“any contractions yet?” he asks, gently pulling you into his arms and swaying the both of you gently side to side.

“mmh no don’t think so, i think it’s all still braxton hicks.” you mumble feeling that exhaustion come back to you.

together the two of you (mostly quinn) move move around the room only packing essentials into his backpack like phones, chargers and some extra clothes.

“you ready to have this baby?” he asks wrapping an arm around your waist the holding holding his bag.

“i think so?” he hesitantly nod, a small smile appearing on your face.

making your way back downstairs, ellen has managed to pack a few things that she had buggy as presents for the two of you like a few baby grows, nappies etc.

“i think this should do you to for now, we gonna head straight into town first thing tomorrow morning to get you guys a temporary crib until we can figure out how you guys will get home ok?” she asks and you’re set back speechless as she hands another bag over top quinn.

“oh guys, you really don’t have to-“ you start only to be cut off by jim.

“we love you y/n your carrying pur grandchild, yous two only deserve the best.” jim smiles moving around to give you a small hug followed by ellen, jack and luke.

“you got this alright?” luke whispers as you nod.

growing up the new kid in town was hard when you were younger. moving at the age of 12 had a lot of issues with school and friends, but luke made it his personal mission to make sure that wasn’t a problem for much longer. yous two became inseparably quickly before jack joined and finally quinn, you were the same age as jack so you fit in with the brothers easily, getting out in goal when they practiced hockey even though you didn’t.

they became your second family, until you fell for the older brother one summer.

now your being loaded into his car, as the family get ready to follow in their own.

quinn slowly pulls out of the driveway, offering his hand for you to hold to try and ground yourself. he turns the radio on, soft music playing considering it’s around 11:30pm, the streetlights making the road barely visible.

he starts to get closer to the town, seeing the hospital in the distance when a massive contraction hits you out of nowhere.

“quinn.” you let out almost in a whine, gripping his hand tighter, as he rubs his thumb over your knuckles.

“your doing great honey, we’re just pulling up now, keep breathing for me.” he says, pulling into a car parking space before turning the car off and getting out to come round to your side.

your hands move to your belly, gently rubbing underneath to try and soothe the pain.

“you ready baby?” he asks opening the door and reaching over to help rub your belly.

“give me a sec.” you mumble, trying to catch your breath after that contraction, it knocked you right over, “ok, yeh i’m good.” you smile slightly, taking a deep breath before letting quinn help you out the car, both bags already over his shoulders as he grabs on of your hands his other snaking around your waist as you slowly make your way into the hospital.

you manage to get checked in and settled rather quickly due to how quiet it is, the nurse already checking your dilation.

“your already about 5cm which is great, hopefully it won’t be too long of a wait. i’ll be back in around an hour to check you again. if you need anything before then just shout and ill come over.” she smiles, binning her gloves before leaving the room, silence taking over as quinn stands beside your bed, hands in pockets looking like a lost puppy.

“quinn baby,” you smile gently, his eyes locking with yours, concern written all over his face, “c’mere.” you mumble, putting your hand out for him to grab, as his cautiously makes his way over taking your hand and setting himself down in the small chair by your bed.

“you ok? an hour ago you were the one calming me down, but now you look like your gonna cry hun.” you say gently, hand unconsciously rubbing your bump, which is now hooked up to lots of monitors, quinn holding your other with both his hands.

“trust me, the only tears that you’ll see are happy ones,” he lets out a small giggle before looking up to meet your eyes, “just feels like this is happening so quick.” he mumbles, his finger drawing shapes on that back of your hands.

“it is, but just think, it might be nice learning how to do all this,” you say gesturing to your belly, “with your whole family with us. it’s less stress.” you smile, as he brings your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it.

“i’m so glad we have my mom and dad,” he lets out a happy huff, seeing your smile, before a knock interrupts you, “speaking of.” he smiles moving to get up and answer.

you adjust the light blanket over your lower half as you are now completely naked, only having your bra still on due to how hot your getting.

“hey guys,” quinn welcomes them, all of them here as they promised, ellen moving across the room to give you a hug.

“feeling any better now?” she asks pulling away as you give her a small smile and nod.

“said i’m 5cm and hoping it should go quick, so we’re just waiting.” you smile as they find seats around your bed, quinn moving to perch on the side of it, so his mom could have a chair.

hours pass from laying in the bed, bouncing on a yoga ball and now walking around the ward. the pyjama pants back on, hand low under your bump, now wearing quinn’s zip up hoodie over your bra as you hold onto your iv drop stand for support as you walk. quinn’s hand lays on the small of your back, slowly guiding you around the ward.

“i thought she said this would be quick.” you mumble slowly waddling along.

“they’re just being a little stubborn baby, wanna stay in your belly forever.” he smiles, moving to gently rub your bump with his other hand coming round to press a kiss against your temple, only for you to pull away, leaning against the wall with a hiss as another contraction hits.

“keep breathing baby, your doing so well.” he whispers, moving behind you to rub small circles on your back under his zip up.

“god it hurts quinn.” you whine, a tear falling down your cheek.

“i know, but your doing so well honey, not long now.” he says pressing a kiss to the back of your neck.

“ok, ok, i wanna go back, this isn’t helping.” you sigh, gaining composure after the contraction. he nods, guiding you back down the hall into your room, where jack and luke have crashed out on the small bench, jim out getting some coffees, leaving ellen on her phone.

“hey sweetie, did that help?” she asks as quinn sets you back down in the bed, putting the iv back by you.

“don’t think so.” you sigh, letting your eyes close for a moment.

soon the nurse drops by again, now 5:20am, as she checks your dilation once again.

“at 9cm now, not long sweetie, i’m gonna get the doctor ready as you should be able to push within an hour.” she smiles, moving to update your chart before leaving.

“it’s really time?” you ask looking up at quinn, as he pushes the hair off your forehead, placing down a kiss.

“yeh, baby, and then after you can get some rest.” he smiles causing a small chuckle out of you.

doctors and nurse begin filling the room, as family are ushered out leaving you and quinn, as they set up the stirrups.

he helps pull the pyjama pants off of you before the nurses get you in position.

“ok hun, when you feel that contraction you’re gonna push for me ok? i’m gonna count back from ten and once i reach zero you can stop but you gotta keep going for those 10 counts ok?” she asks, as quinn hand slips into yours, his other holding the back of your leg as he presses a kiss to your lips.

“you got this.” he whispers before you look back at the nurse, nodding.

as soon as that contraction hits, you begin pushing, pain radiating throughout your whole body, screaming and squeezing his hand to try and subside it.

“incredible job y/n, give me another big one.” the doctor calls out, as you catch your breath, small beads of sweat developing on your forehead.

once again you push and push and push until it feels like you’ve got nothing more to give.

“i can’t quinn, it hurts so bad.” you cry out, quinn coming down to rest his forehead on yours.

“you can baby ok? one more and then the head will be out and the rest is easy.” he says stern but soft, before moving to wipe a few stray tears from your cheeks.

so that’s what you do, keep pushing until you hear the cries of your newborn fill the room, tears of relief falling down onto your cheeks, as they’re placed into your bare chest

“that’s it baby, all done. you are absolutely incredible.” quinn laughs, a few tears on his own cheeks, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips.

“it’s a girl.” the nurse smiles as you cradle her close.

“hiya baby.” your voice wavers as your shaky finger comes to gently stroke her cheek, “she looks just like her daddy.” you whisper, before looking up to quinn who’s eyes are red and brimmed with his happy tears.

“gorgeous like her mama.” he smiles down before being called to cut the cord and having your daughter taken away to get cleaned and deliver the after birth.

the room quietens back down to a comfortable silence, only you, quinn and your newborn baby girl, cradled in your arms as quinn perched on the side of you bed, arm around your shoulders.

“what should we name her?” he asks, gently bring his hand down to brush the small tuff of hair out of her face.

“i did have an idea,” you mumble, quinn’s eyes meeting yours, “elleanor lucien hughes.” you smile seeing tears once again form.

“that’s beautiful baby. absolutely beautiful.” he whispers placing a small kiss onto the top of your head.

“but i guess now we’ll have to have another so jack doesn’t feel left out,” quinn mumbles causing a glare from you at the fact you’ve spent the last 7 hours in labour, “well wait a bit though, yeh?” he says hesitantly causing a smile to tug on your lips.

“i’d love that.”

[dcxdpdabbles]

Hi I love rereading all your fics and prompts! Like, multiple times throughout the day. I have a schedule. Your works are my literal bed time stories (wow that sounded weird).

Anyways (before I ramble any worse). Any updates for Child support? I just love it so much and wondering if there's more

John throws himself to the side, barely avoiding a grab from a fifth-dimension demon throwing a fit after he rejects its request to marry his son. He rolls across the ground, powering up a spell, as he mentally curses his age.

Maybe Batman was right. He should work on his physical form a little more.

"Wait! Wait! I'm sorry! Can we talk about this-" Whatever the demon was going to say is lost after John's spell slams into its chest, throwing it back out of his dimension and sealing him from his Earth for fifty years. The spell is helpful, but fifty years doesn't mean much to demons, and it will wait decades to come back and bother them.

Thankfully, John will likely be long-dead before then. It's always been his solution for most of his problems. Pushing a problem to a later date where it can become someone else's problem.

But what about his son?

Danny, who was half of Time itself, would likely be around in fifty years. If there was one thing he didn't want, it was to leave Danny with all his messes. He'll have to learn a new banishing spell and find some instructors who could teach him an entirely new magic dueling technique.

It was the responsible thing to do. Ugh, fatherhood was making him an accountable bore.

John heaves himself off the floor, sweat pouring from his forehead, and grimaces. On the stove, the eggs he was cooking for Danny's breakfast are smoking, burnt into a dark black smudge. The House of Mystery's old wood groans, displeased with all the smoke, and a second later, the stove and counter vanish as the house creates a hole to drop them out of.

"Now that's just plain rude," John tells the house, dusting his knees. "It's not like I asked to be attacked first thing in the morning. What am I going to feed Danny now?"

The house's floor tiles shift in what John has come to learn was meant to be a shrug. The blasted thing has started copying Danny's teenage behavior, including that of his son's friends, and now seemed to enjoy rebelling against John whenever possible.

Thankfully, the house also seemed to really like Danny because one of the drawers opens, and a local Gotham breakfast dinner menu is flung at him. John catches the sheet with a sigh. He won't have to go too far when dropping Danny off at school.

"Morning, Dad," Danny greets, walking into the room wearing his Gotham Academy uniform. The dark night blue blazer, black tie, and dress trousers make his son look like the heir of the second most powerful being. It only took one glance to see that Danny came from nobility.

John knows he's a handsome bloke, but he had nothing on Clockwork's human form. That man was a temptation itself, and it looks like Danny has inherited his beauty.

John will never know how the brats in Danny's other schools could not see that. His son was perfect. John fights the urge to summon a camera. He always thought the fools always showing off the children's pictures were idiotic. Now that he's a father, he understands.

He smiles, "Morning, love. How about we go out to eat for breakfast?"

__________________________________________________________

They arrived at the dinner just as it was opening. John told Danny to order some black tea and went to the bathroom. He was only gone for a few minutes, but when he returned, he found his boy surrounded by a group of teenagers wearing the same uniform.

There was a splash of angry red on Danny's face as a girl gestured to him, obviously mocking him, and the rest of the teenagers laughed. Danny's hands were clenched in his lap, shoulders hunched, and head lowered as another teenager reached out and flickered his ear.

This one was wearing those ridiculous American leather jackets for some sport. He was also the biggest teenager there, a boy who thought himself too important for his own good.

John's jaw clenched.

Bullies.

Danny had bullies at Gotham Academy. Why can't his son just be left alone?!

John was just about to march across the room, ready and willing to fight a group of children, when Danny suddenly raised his head to yell in the face of the leather jacket git.

Alarmingly, the teenagers don't have the reaction that John expects. The large boy blushes, and the teenagers all seem to grow flustered.

No, John realizes with horror. No, they fancy him. The little rats bothering Danny are into him. Were all the other bullies just dumb kids who were terrible at flirting, too?

He is so stunned by the realization that he misses the way Danny attempts to push past the boy and somehow ends up tripping over his own two feet. He tries to catch himself on the table but the thing tilts over and their drinks fly.

Danny ends up half on the ground covered in drinks and looking bloody misaberle as the rest of the children snicker. John draws to his full height, deciding that it didn't matter what these kids felt for Danny.

His son thought they were bullying him because they made him feel terrible. So they were all going to feel the wrath of the one human who bullshits his way to being one of the mightiest spell casters in history.

"What the bloody hell are you urchins think you're doing!?" He yells. The kids all take one look at him before they scatter, rushing towards their posh cars outside.

"You alright, love?" He helps the boy to his feet, wiping some liquid with a napkin.

Danny looks small as he wipes away at his eyes. There weren't any tears; he was just taking the tea that had run down his face off. "I'm okay. Thanks, Dad."

"Do they bother you a lot?" He asks, anger growing in his chest. "We can go to your headmaster."

"No! Telling the principle will only make things worse!" Danny shouts, looking up in alarm. "Besides, they don't really bother me that much. Damian can usually scare them off. They should go for me, I can handle it; most other kids don't."

Fuck, where has he heard that phrase before?

It's alright if he hits me. I can handle it better than Mum.

John takes a breath through his nose, willing it to calm him down. This is another change that has come to be ever since he learned about Danny. Before, John would have gone off the handle, started a fight, yelled till he was red, drank, or slept through his issues, and damn the consequences.

He's got to think with a clearer head now. He owes Danny because of what his other father will do and because John wants to be the kind of father he never had.

The waitress rushes over, helping them get things set to right, and Danny apologizes for repeatedly knocking on the table. She waves away his worry, stating she saw the group and that, as someone who's worked near Gotham Acadamy for years, she knows what kind of students go there.

She also mentioned seeing what happened to the scholarship students over the years after nodding her head to Danny's pin. John hated that it was a requirement for Danny's uniform as a "show" of his accomplishments when all it did was single him out as a target.

While his son is distracted, John sends a quick text message to Bruce, informing him of the bullying Danny is going through.

Bruce responds with a single message: "It shall be handled." for once, he doesn't roll his eyes at the theatrics. A small thump on the window makes him glance up from his phone screen.

Pressed up against the glass is a blond teenage boy with wide eyes, breathing heavily and looking like a child staring at a feast of their favorite foods. John makes a face as the teenager's palms' and nose lean more into the glass, disorientating his image, but nothing could top the manic grin on his face.

John follows the boy's eyesight to where they practically devour his son, who is busy looking at the pasty bar. The waitress told him to pick anything he liked in the house to try and cheer him up from his bully.

Danny takes his sweets very seriously and studies his options with hyper-focused determination. He bends at his waist to look at the far-back brownies, and the teenager in the window lets out a cat-like growl of approval.

Alarmed, John steps in front of Danny, blocking him and his bum from view. The teenager, wearing the same uniform as Danny, and John was pretty sure he's seen this kid at Gotham High School when they had been touring the place before deciding to take Burce's offer, locks eyes with him.

John doesn't have to see into the stranger's scowl to confirm what he already knows.

That was not a human in control of the body. A demon likely took the unfortunate human for a joy ride. John raises his hand, spell crackling at his fingertips, and the scowl turns darker as the demon wearing the stolen face seers.

Just as he is about to fire off a spell, Danny's voice cuts through the tension, stepping around John with a happy "Bernard!"

His son walks up to the window before freezing and then looks back at John with the same bone-chilling expression of anger that he has only ever seen on one other being. That one being who could make the very fabrics of the universe fall apart despite not shouting or rampaging.

Danny inherited Clockwork's anger, it seemed.

"That thing is overshadowing my friend Bernard Dowd." Danny's voice is low and echoing. Somewhere behind him, John can hear the waitress gasp for air as the room's pressure increases, to Danny's displeasure. "I'm going to kill it."

John's knees shake as he fights to stay upright. "Alright. Make sure you finish murdering it before your second class. You have a chemistry test today."

Danny nods, walks outside, and grabs Bernard's arm to drag him into a dark alley. The dumb thing looked pleased, spraying something into its mouth. I thought Danny was going to snog it.

Fool.

As soon as Danny left, the pressure disappeared from the dinner, every human inside sighing relief once they could breathe better.

"What in the world was that!?" The waitress demands, her voice strained with fear.

John turns to her with a shrug. "Puberty."

Outside, a loud honk is heard as a certain teenager in a leather jacket slams his head against his steering wheel with a wail. His friends are quick to comfort him to the best of their abilities. They likely saw Danny drag the possessed human into the alleyway.

Good.

"Do you have any alcoholic drinks?" He asks the horror-stricken woman. "I need something strong."

"It's seven in the morning."

"Ah, a coffee then. Black. Strong. Anything to help me raise my boy and get through the day."

There is a long pause before she responds. "Of course, and it's on the house. Not easy being a single parent to....whatever that was."

At least she has a heart.

[everythingblackblack]

Hakuba should propose to Kaito then the white imagery would fit his civilian identity too via giving him his surname. Plus Kaito keeping people in the dark and operating in the shadows (black) and Hakuba recognising the good in him and being determined to bring everything about Kid into the light (white), also the Kuroba or clover on the black hat accessory reference in Kaitou 1412's original costume as well as the black feathers (translation of Kaito's family name) being used by Corbeau while he traumatised Kaito with his father's appearance. It just has lots of satisfying symbolism of Kaito finally being able to part of with the weight of his family's tragedy and his father's legacy. Because Kuroba-kun and Kid are just means of getting to know Kaito, Hakuba has no investment in Kid or the Kurobas beyond Kaito himself. Kaito isn't a generic civilian identity that's just another fabrication to hide the criminal secrets or the punniest name for a Japanese phantom thief (because he was literally born and raised for this purpose even with his parents' absences they, including Jii, only enter Kaito's life to help him be Kid for his mother and father's mistakes or lie/escape into another life via Vegas or Poker Face) it's the name of the person Saguru loves and he's his and no matter what name he goes by or what he lies about and hides Saguru will love him, figure it out and find the truth. He'll always ask Kaito for his honest answers and give him Real options to be Himself in it's realest form.

A funny thing happened to me while I was reading your question, I happened to have my playlist on shuffle and "Good Luck, Babe!" started playing, so if you see me rambling a lot, attribute it to that funny coincidence.

You made me think of an arranged/convenient marriage. Not exactly though.

Kaito, who feels hurt and lost after finding out his father was alive and mom knew about it, doesn't want to talk to Jii at all because he can't stand the thought of him taking his father's side (he's not sure if he will or not, so he just chooses not to deal with it), can't ask Aoko or her father for help, doesn't feel worthy of their help.

So he desperately and insecurely chooses Hakuba. He wants something that feels close.

Hakuba is probably having a cup of tea while enjoying a book, hears knocking on the window in his room, and is surprised to meet Kaito.

"You still want to know my reason?" Kaito doesn't mention KID, he doesn't need to, Hakuba has a bad feeling, something very serious must have happened for someone like KID to even consider revealing his reasons for stealing, he rushes to let him in, offers him tea, but Kaito rejects it.

They both sit in silence.

"I don't know how to start, it's a mess, actually, my life is a mess."

After a couple of minutes, Kaito begins to tell Saguru about his love for magic and his father, the history of KID, and everything else.

The word that Saguru thinks fits well in this situation is “Sad,” and of course, he is so upset.

“Marry me.” The words are out of his mouth before he can process them, it’s not an unfounded request, but it was a proposal made by his emotions.

“What?”

“I’m sorry if I was so abrupt, still, I mean what I said, I definitely need to think it over better, but I can’t just leave you like this.”

"But how would getting married help?"

"First, because you could adopt a Western name if you wanted, and because it seems very cruel to me that they named you like that… as if your destiny was sealed from the day you were born and you couldn't change it."

"But we're not in love."

"I am."

"Oh."

"You can think about it, meditate on it if you want, I would never force you to do something you don't want, even if you don't accept me that way, I will watch over you, and I won't let you get hurt again. Take my name, my contacts, and whatever you need to get back on your feet."

Kaito thinks Hakuba is being kind, he doesn't want him to be a second choice or receive a half-hearted love. He has nothing to gain by accepting, instead, Kaito would be the only one to benefit.

[ghostbeam]

1.5k, charcoal artist!dabi (again I’m so sorry), mentions of alcohol, dabi and reader are awkward, idk what this is but I kept it under 2k and that is a win for me

It’s been two weeks.

You haven’t seen him by your tree since then, but you haven’t taken him up on his offer and showed up at his place. You transferred the address from the pen on your skin to a scrap piece of paper and hung in on your fridge before you could lose it forever after washing your hands.

It would be weird to show up without calling, only you can’t call him because you don’t have his number. You don’t have classes in the same building, and you think it would be even weirder to walk around the art department to find him instead of just knocking on his door, like he asked you to. 

So, you do end up at his front door, double checking the address with the numbers outside, because Dabi seems to live in some kind of warehouse, and you would assume he wrote down the wrong address if it didn’t make complete sense in your mind that he lived here. You decided on a Friday night, because you assumed a guy like him would be out, and the thought of him answering his door right now is mortifying. 

But he does answer it, and his hair is sticking out in different directions even worse than before, and he’s yawning into his fist, and you’re realizing you’ve just woke him up. 

It stuns him a little, to see you. You’re cute all bundled up from the chilly night out, chin tucked into your scarf as you let your eyes fall over his form. 

“I didn’t think you’d come.” He tells you, leaning against his door frame, voice heavy with sleep. “Figured you thought it was weird that I gave you my address.”

“It was weird.” You nodded, shivering a bit from the cold. “Can I come in?”

He opens the door wider and lets you through. It’s mostly dark inside, one lamp in a far corner illuminating just a little bit of the room. He mutters a sorry as he passes by you, turning on lights overhead, half of the lightbulbs needing to be changed and not helping to illuminate the place much at all. 

“It’s usually brighter during the day.” He shrugs, turning back towards you. “The windows.”

He gestures behind him and you notice the large panels of glass against both walls. It must be nice in the day, all of the natural light, especially for an artist. 

You continue to look around. It’s mostly one giant room with ceilings as tall as the sky. There’s a small kitchen on the right side of the place, art that you assume isn’t his hung on the refrigerator, handmade mugs hanging on a rack by the sink, boxes of sugary cereal on the wooden island you think maybe he or someone else built.

There’s a bathtub to the left, just out in the middle of everything. It’s strange, and completely out of place, but looking at it gives you some sort of weird vision of the future in your mind. Reading in it, leaning back against Dabi and falling asleep, him peering over the edge and kissing you goodbye. A fond smile crosses your face.

Easels, and standing desks, and giant canvases full of abstract paint fill the rest of the room. A tarp on the floor in the middle of everything is covered with charcoal and red paint, pages and pages of unfinished sketches. Paperbacks lay on tables, stacked up against walls, three on his bedside table, all with bookmarks inside, unfinished.

“It’s a mess, I know.” He shrugs. “I kept it nice for a while, you know, in case you came, but then I kind of figured you never would. But you did.”

There’s something guarded about him this time, less open than he was when you met him on the grass. You can understand it. After all, you’re intruding. He was asleep. You should go home. 

“Maybe I should go home. It’s probably a bad time. It’s late, and—” You feel his hand wrap around your wrist, stoping your nervous ramble.

“Stay. Please, I want you to stay.” He tells you, and you can see that bit of vulnerability shine through, a little bit in his eyes. You nod, unable to look away from him. “You want something to drink?”

You don’t trust your voice, so all you do is nod, and when Dabi disappears into his tiny kitchen, you walk further into the room, entranced by his art. You wish you knew more about it, then, that you had something to compare it to, though you think maybe there’s nothing like what he does. 

He brings back a bottle of beer, and you take a long gulp because you suddenly feel hot alone with Dabi in his space. He chuckles under his breath and tugs on your arm.

“You wanna take this off?” He asks you, tugging on your scarf. You hand him your beer and take your scarf and coat off, letting him take them from you and laying them across his bed. He walks to one of the desks in the room, pulling the spiral sketchbook from the day before and a portfolio with handles from behind the desk. He hands you the book and drops the portfolio heavy on the floor. 

“Here.” He tells you, rubbing his palms on the sides of his pants out of what you think is nerves. “It’s obviously not everything, but you can start here, I guess. Or stop there, too. If you get sick of it.”

You say nothing, but you move to sit on the floor, opening the spiral sketchbook. It’s not all pretty or refined or finished. It’s a hand and an eye and the face of a friend and a tree and a body of water. It’s all scribbled and jagged, and there’s bits that are smooth, smudged over and shaded in a way that makes you feel like if you touched it, it would feel like skin. There’s splotches of red and yellow, blues and greens, a random water color on one page, ink on the next. 

And when you get close to the end, it’s all you. 

It’s not much, but it’s more than you expected. There’s no more mistakes here, nothing unfinished or crossed out or scribbled over. He’s careful about it. You’re speechless. 

You pull the portfolio into your lap and open the flap. Pages of all varying sizes and textures are stuffed inside. These pieces are much more refined. He’s worked on them for longer, maybe for a class. He has an unbelievable eye for the human body, how it bends and folds. You hate to think about how these are hidden away behind his desk. You’d put them up around the city, and on bulletin boards in cafe’s, and over every inch of your walls in your own apartment.

It makes you feel a little bit emotional, here on his floor with his soul in your hands. There’s this urge you have, to hug him, to push his hair from his eyes, to kiss his hands. You hold one page in between your fingers, the torso of a man and his arms around a woman, her head lying back against his chest. You stand up, and you look at him with your watery eyes, and you turn to walk away. 

You swing a leg over the weird, out in the open bath tub, and settle down inside, looking down at the piece you took. Dabi’s footsteps are slow as he approaches you, crouches down next to the tub and rests his forearms on it.

“You can have that one.” He says, resting his chin against his arm. “Or any of them. Tell me, and it’s yours.”

You don’t know how to tell him you want it all. Selfishly, you’d take every single piece if he gave them to you. 

You look at him, thumbing the corner of the page, yours now. You keep opening and closing your mouth like you want to speak. You want to tell him thank you, and you probably should if he’s really letting you keep it, but it’s more than that. Thank you for letting me see you. I have nothing like this that can show you the inside of my soul, but you can reach through my ribs if you want to.

His hand comes up to rest behind your head, the brush of his thumb against your neck, tender. You lean into it and close your eyes. When you open them, he’s much closer now, so close that leaning forward makes you bump noses. He smiles. 

“Will you stay?” It’s not a question of just to night, but forever, you think. Or at least that’s how it feels to you. You nod. 

“God, yes.” You answer, like you’ve been waiting for him to ask, like you’re whole life has led up to this moment in this empty bathtub. He brushes his lips against yours like he’s asking permission. You give him the slightest nod. 

He kisses you. 

[randomlywanderingmoth]

FANSERVANT: Caster of Blessings

(picture created in picrew)

SERVANT CLASS: "Are- are you seriously asking that? Go back up the header and read that again." ALTERNATIVE NAMES: Kat. "Kat for the English speakers. Phonetically sounds like Cat. Yes I'm human, these are just a funny blessing." Neko-chan. "Neko-chan for the Japanese speakers, cuz Neko means Cat, heheh." Emma. "Wait, how the heck do you know that? I mean- it IS my name, and I don't mind you using it, but… that's the name of my Pseudo half… I mean, I guess if you're referring to the very normal human me, then that's fine I guess?"

TRUE NAME: "- woah woah woah hold on a hot minute here, I was gonna do a whole song and dance! Lemme have this!" True Name information presently sealed. "Thank you, dossier."

===

"Anyway, let's rip the band-aid off now, I'm a Pseudo-Servant. To make an extraordinarily long story short, I was a Master in a Grail War, and Caster was my Servant. A whole buncha buncha stuff happened, and I ended up inheriting her Saint Graph. Obviously, I didn't have the cat-ears or cat-tail prior to inheriting my Saint Graph. Don't worry about them too much."

"Oh- oh right, I should give a long-form description of what my deal is. Anyway, I'm the Caster of Blessings. I was gonna be cagey and tell you to call me Kat, but since the dossier blew my cover yeah you can call me Emma. I'm a hedge mage- was a hedge mage- that got tangled up in a Grail War. I ended up summoning the original Caster of Blessings, the one that wouldn't have been a Pseudo-Servant. We bonded, as people do, and I learned that she… didn't exactly like being the Caster of Blessings. It almost didn't matter, except that it turned out I was also compatible to hold that Saint Graph."

"Anyway, at one point… well, my memories are a jumble. I blame either the Throne or the Kaleidoscope, maybe both, but either she gave it to me after taking a fatal wound to let me keep being in the Grail War because she found my wish beautiful, or I took a fatal wound and she sacrificed her life to infuse me with her Saint Graph so I could survive, or I ended up waking up to my own potential as a Mage and we won the Grail and her half of the wishes on the Grail was to let go of her Saint Graph and it peeled off her and stuck to me… I'm rambling, sorry. Presumably, every path in the Kaleidoscope that lead to me becoming the Pseudo-Servant holding her Saint Graph merged, hence my jumbled memories. Presumably there's also memories in there of me being the Caster of Blessings that I summoned, but I'm thankful to be deprived of those memories in this summoning- I don't need that existential recursive headache, please and thanks."

"As the bearer of her Saint Graph, I incidentally also inherited her memories. And, lemme tell ya, I get why she wanted to leave. How many years, decades, centuries, millennia, do you think you could spend, trying to help people? How long can you work, in- I was gonna say in a Sisyphean effort, but even Sisyphus would object to this. I remembered all of it. All the effort, to try to help Humanity. To fix the mess I made- er, she made. Erm- disregard that."

"Anyway, as the Caster of Blessings, her job was as the name implies. To travel the world, to impart blessings unto humanity. To help fix the problems of the people, then to flee when they learned those problems were, on some level, her fault in the first place. Before you ask, no, her legend will never make mention of any of this, I wouldn't be saying it all if I thought it would."

"Anyway, she traveled, as you do, blessed people, as she could, and learned that… well, it's remarkably difficult to permanently quash the darker natures of humanity. She would say impossible, but I've a pedantic mindset to say it technically isn't impossible. But anyway. To give humans wealth is to invite greed, to give them talent is to rouse envy. Attempting to reconcile conflict only planted grudges to incite further outrage. Perhaps none of those in the moment, but given time, good things seem reluctant to ever last. The apple will always find its way to rot in the end."

"Eventually, she gave up. Because of course she did. Because you can say that, after seeing every attempt to help people crumble and fail, you would still keep trying, but immortality does not typically include immortal determination and willpower. Those are still very mortal, and, trust me, after thousands of years your resolve would also falter."

"One day, though, she met someone. Or, someone met her… the memories are difficult here. That someone didn't want to be remembered, if I had to guess- but anyway. They suggested a simple idea to her. The living person can retire, and her ever unending self-appointed task can be left to her memories. Engrave her existence on the Throne of Heroes."

"… she had the tiniest sliver of resolve left, and it was enough to do this final deed. To leave her task to a Saint Graph. But the Ghost Liner who held that Saint Graph, for a time, was her. Her memories, given form. Still uncontent. Still left to meekly tend the ever-turning nature of humanity."

"And then she was summoned to a silly Grail War by a silly girl with silly aspirations that were barely alive. And that silly girl wanted… so many things. And the Caster of Blessings had one more blessing that she hadn't ever given before, not in this way."

"And so, the original Caster of Blessings took her final retirement, and her erstwhile Master was stepped up to the line. The Pseudo-Servant, Caster of Blessings. That's me."

PARAMETERS:

Strength: E+ "… what's with that look? I'm a Caster. Base STR is what you get." Endurance: D+ "Wow, even as a Caster I have better than base Endurance. Neat." Agility: C+ "I know I have cat motifs going on but I am also a Caster. Be glad you got this." Mana: A+ "Don't be fooled, I can actually blow through my mana supply in a real hurry if I mismanage it." Luck: B- "My luck is actually pretty okay. That malus? I have a faint-but-constant urge to Test My Luck, and you don't need a bad luck streak to get screwed over, you just need one really bad hit." Noble Phantasm: EX "Okay so we can get back to this if I ever I pull out my True Name but even without it, the Noble Phantasm that I DO make regular use of is also still EX rank. It's pretty buckwild."

SKILLS:

"Now, disclaimer, I'm not giving you the proper names of my Skills. Those are sealed up along with my True Name. Don't worry, you'll still get an idea of my deal from the listed."

Item Construction (B+ Rank): "My primary Magecraft allows me to command, manipulate, and reinforce thread and fabric essentially at will. You'd be surprised how strong and durable cotton yarn is when reinforced by such high level Magecraft. It's a point of note, I can't just use straight fabric like shirts or jackets, but if I can unravel the yarn from like a scarf, I always have a weapon. And yes, the stuff I make is quantifiably powerful. Cool magic swords and axes, suits of armor? As long as I have enough thread, sure. The original Caster of Blessings was a lot more deft with this, but I'm capable enough in my own right."

Territory Creation (A- Rank): "I'm also able to delineate and define a 'home' territory, making it my Workshop- and it's a pretty ridiculously powerful Workshop at that, Temple-grade. The only issue, aside from the ritual to delineate that Temple, is that I can only denote one 'home' at a time. Make a new one? Old one stops being a Temple. Pretty sure there's some mythology somewhere about cats being protectors of homes. That's my excuse for now, anyway."

Presence Concealment (B+ Rank): "Ever seen a cat get sneaky? Yeah, I can do that pretty good. What's funny is, even if I get into a fight, if I just put a bit of mana into maintaining my concealment, I don't lose ranks after entering combat like standard Presence Concealment! Ever tried fighting someone your mind refuses to stick to? It's buckwild."

Golden Rule (C Rank): "Ah, erm… quick come up with something- right, y'know those Japanese lucky cats? Maneki-Neko? Sure, this is totally based on that. Anyway, it's not that I have cash, it's that I have, let's say, a remarkable talent for falling into wealth as needed."

Natural Body (A Rank): "Neat, huh? I get pluses to my STR, END, and AGI stats cuz of this, and my body is way more fit than it was when I was alive! Bonus, hostile effects that would negatively impact those stats don't work unless they can bypass this skill! No half measures were taken in the creation of the Caster of Blessings, and that sure as heck is reflected in this skill!"

Clairvoyance (A- Rank): "A byproduct of my Noble Phantasm, my eyes can even theoretically perceive the future if I try! The, uh, the minus is because… I'll take the blame on this, pretty sure original Caster never had this problem, but I'm not as good at controlling it. I can restrain it, and I can use Mystic Eye Killers on it to basically turn it off so it isn't quite so distracting, but… I'll be honest, I give full props to all the Servants who can use a skill like this on the fly, no problem. Clairvoyance is not nearly the free win that I used to think it was."

Divinity (B Rank): "Oh if I didn't have this it'd be real freakin' funny when I started passing around blessings like candy. The only reason I'm not A Rank is because my Saint Graph doesn't make it to god level, and both the original and I take serious umbrage with that. I mean, after everything she's done, hasn't she earned the right to return to- ah, sorry, nearly spilled the beans there, eheheh."

NOBLE PHANTASM:

Fatal Curiosity: Mystic Eyes of Observation

"Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. That's the whole phrase, by the way. Bet you've only heard the first half, heheh."

"Anyway, my eyes are capable of completely deconstructing the information presented to it in nearly any situation. A single glance and I can fully discern anything about anyone. Presence Concealment, True Name Concealment, Illusions, and similar effects basically mean nothing to me. I can read off nearly everything about any Servant or similar hostile in a matter of seconds. True Name, Parameters, Favorite Ice Cream Flavor, Skills, Fears and Weaknesses, Noble Phantasms, so on and so forth. It's a matter of seconds and not instantly because I need a bit to process and filter out the junk data from the tasty stuff, but the more mana I pump into it the faster the processing goes. At full power, yeah, it's basically instant."

"Speaking of stuff I can process instantly, the moment I see any sort of hostile action- an attack, a directed curse, a trap, or so on, my Mystic Eyes will instantly process and provide autonomous countermeasures. Oh, and bonus? If it's Magecraft, my Eyes will reverse-engineer it basically automatically. As in, if I see Magecraft used, I can use it too. Sadly, I can't take the information from previous summonings, and it's only the information of my Pseudo-Servant self, so I don't have all of humanity's Magecraft at my fingertips, but it's still a whole lotta lot to work with."

"Oh- that all does take a bit of a toll on mana, but even at rest my Eyes are constantly processing information- just at a slower rate than near-instant. At rest I could tell you the weak spots in the local construction or geography, I could autonomously counter minor Magecraft, I can even read minds. Or- rather, I have to. The Eyes never fully power down. It's… rather distracting at times, so I wear the glasses to turn it off when it's not needed."

"No secrets, no deceptions, nothing may be hidden from my eyes. Let us bear witness, together, to what happens next- FATAL CURIOSITY."

[inthemiddle0feverywhere]

Bad Batch Season 3 Episode 4 thoughts (scattered) and initial reactions (rambling)

Nothing is even proof read and my brain is faster than my fingers so

Also I have very long nails and often click the wrong button

Anyway

Spoilers below the cut

(Update I rewatched and had more thoughts)

SCREAMING SCREAMING THE WHOLE TIME

God I was so stressed now I need to rewatch because I know how it goes and I don’t need to be anxious

Batcher kicking crosshair’s seat lmaoooo

Needing to change outfits “isn’t this better?🥰” “No” 😂😂 we officially have ray of sunshine and grumpy black cloud dynamic (my favorite)

Also only being able to see his eyes 🔥🔥🔥 (even if it looks like he’s wearing a toilet seat- seriously what is that thing)

I love that omega’s pony tail has a little bump at the back, thinking about when I was little and trying to put my hair up by myself god it was such a lumpy and bumpy mess. I doubt anyone would have shown her how on tantiss only telling her she needs to keep her hair out of her face. She’s just a little girl who had to take care of herself all those months. Like the kaminoans were bald, the other clones were men. Where would she have even learned how to do a pony? Emrie? (Hunter? 🤭)

“I can take half of them out before they know what’s happening” “how about we try not killing everyone in sight? 🥰🤗” “booooooooo”

I just know Cross is secretly proud of his gambling sister kicking ass and hustling money

The captain gave me such gross vibes I just know he smells bad

Crosshair clicking his tongue at batcher idk it did something to me it was so cute

And then her licking him later like sorry crossy you’re a dog dad now

Speaking of dads: “I’ve never seen you or your dad before” *nick miller screams.* CROSSDAD! CROSSDAD!!! 🥰🥰🥰

WELCOME TO JURASSIC PARK

I know Dee is the voice of Batcher- do you think he made all the animals sounds? Is he just in a sound booth making animal noises

Ugh sobbing at the reunion 😭😭😭 literally water works

Noooo what is this face off at the end everyone put your eyebrows back up in a relaxed position and unclench those jaws and fists

Does Omega’s glove have a bottle opener on it?

I can’t wait for the reaction to the new puppy 😄

Also guys, omega kept saying we need to contact Hunter and Wrecker (sad she doesn’t say echo :/) so I think Crosshair knows about Tech. Either she told him while she visited him or perhaps Hemlock told him as another form of torture, that his brother fell trying to rescue him (maybe that’s why he look soooo terrible in the hallway on ep 1) I’m sure omega confirmed it also

Also I was expecting the clone cadets to pop out, I know they said they were taking them to pabu but still

Imagine omega does meet them and gets a lil crush on one omg Hunter would lose it lmaoooo

[birthdaycakeplate]

same anon asking for Blitzbee fic recommendations, tried to message you but unfortunately your account is set to only people you follow doing that.

but hmmm, I'd say my personal taste in fics are actually slow burns, I really like fics that focus on Blitzwing and Bee forming an unlikely relationship based on their 'home lives' in a sense of it, where neither are understood and often viewed as annoyances/loose canons leading both to a feeling of isolation and a mild desperation/willingness to connect with anyone even at the risk of 'treason' for interacting with the other side.

I also enjoy the progression for Blitzwing of seeing Bumblebee as a harmless amusement to him somehow becoming a bit of a hyper focus that causes the big bad con to develop some empathy and *gasp* morals.

Meanwhile Bee is just a cocky little bastard who refuses to accept Blitzwing as the actual threat he is and then feelings are caught when his view of the world is shifted and he finds out Decepticons are also actually just people with complex feelings and motivations (also bonus if break down of autobots 'all warbuilds are evil because' bs is broken down)

I realize now I'm rambling so apologies its just a very fun ship to babble about.

If I was to ask for any fic, if you could set one in your Nemesis AU that be amazing, the size difference you give in that is spectacular like omg I stare so politely.

Also the concept is just very fun to me and I'd love to see that au world expanded.

As for spicy content I don't really have any ideas? Sorry I'm actually terrible at writing it my only preferences are Blitz top and preferably consensual.

for ease if we keep talking like this I'll sign off as

Curiosity

GOD, of course I invited you to talk with me and then blocked you from doing that elekkeem 🌝 I think I fixed my messaging where I’ll get your stuff now, if you’d like to try again 😭 I swear I’m always this dysfunctional.

But anyway, your message here is good, true, andfantastic. I CRY. Your view on the ship is perfect and pure D,8

I LOVE when Blitzwing is stunned when his desire to squash the useless yellow gnat and be done with him is suddenly evaporated by the sudden realization this guy is slowly becoming the only thing in his life fun and full of life (and kind of precious if he’s being honest, ok???). Because their chemistry is crazy- they’re both wrekcless little freaks when left to their own devices, but full time loyal, fucked up little creatures to the ones closest to them. The handful Blitzwing can afford to let in to his life, even if ‘friends’ isn’t the word he’d use, and the few Bumblebee can make real connections with, when he’s a mischievous ant with a complex to make ‘something great’ of himself.

But he already IS great and bad boy Blitzwing needs to make it his immediate life’s goal to get that through to him and give him lots of love. (I ramble, too, you’re in good company)

I’m bad at stating my thoughts, I get overwhelmed when it’s my own emotions. But I typed and retyped something along the lines of how I’m noticing we have lots of similarities here in terms of what our favorite flavor of Blitzbee is 🩷🩷🩷 I bet lots of ppl who read this would agree with you and appreciate you throwing out there the love language of these complete messes of men✨

Does that mean my attempt to translate these tastes into fiction beside my ideas will make for good reading and also provide you a happy source of top Blitz/blitzbee? God, I HOPE so. You deserve it and I’m going to try.

I have the first chapter half written, because-

OH MY GOD, YOU LIKE MY AUTBOTS JOIN THE NEMESIS AU STUFF EKEKKEE

OoooOOOHhhh aAHHHHHHHH

I SCREEEEEEAM 💕💕💕 thank you???!!! That means so much to ME and makes me insanely happy, because I was so surprised when you said that, and I REALIZED how amazing it is to hear a thing like that. That I’ve got a thing going I didn’t imagine would become liked enough for a fic request for it.

I’m hoping to finish this first chapter by next Friday. Probably sooner than that? But I’m scared life won’t allow it. Thanks for your messages💕

(The other anons who messaged me, too, about some top Blitzwing fic stuff, I see you and I’m elated to hear from so many of you, thank you✨)

[fortunatelychaoticphantom]

Oh my god oh my god oH MY GOD

I was going to wait for the opportunity to rewatch Barbie so I could make sure my opinion was solidly based and not just vibes, but with all the nominations talk right now I am losing my god damn mind.

Barbie is a shit movie.

I've said before that I was extremely excited about the movie and genuinely enjoyed every single second of it but was absolutely completely and irrevocably disappointed with it. It was a bad movie for so many reasons, and I'm gonna start talking about it (despite it not being as fresh in my mind, unfortunately).

Barbie is an incoherent mess that has no idea what it actually wants to be;

50% of the movie is Barbie having an existential crisis, that turns into a quest, that turns into low self esteem issues, that turns into anti-capitalist and anti-establishment shenanigans, that turns into parental issues, that turn into feminist issues about societal expectations of womanhood, that turns into civil rights issues, that turns into absolutely nothing because not a single one of these issues is actually addressed in any sort of meaningful way, depends on handwaving solutions, if it bothers to give solutions at all, and is just a product low shelf bullshit feminism.

And then the other 50% of the movie is a meticulously crafted satirical metaphor for the treatment of women under the patriarchy, with intense emotional gravitas, unbelievably incredible acting, and a(n almost) perfect and complete narrative arc for the characters and the main conflict.

And yet, watching this shit show I am contantly asked by the narrative to take the first half of it seriously, but not the other half.

That's not how a movie works.

You cant make half a satire and half a hartfelt exploration of womanhood in post-modern society. It doesn't work like that. And the very simple fact is that only one of those narratives was actually well crafted and coherent, and it wasn't Barbie's. Don't even get me fucking started on that bullshit America Ferrera speach. I hate it. I hate so much. I was actively enraged while watching it. It was bullshit crowd pleasing half baked ramblings that literally had nothing to do with the godamn movie!!! The whole point, the whole Barbie storyline was about America's relationship with her daughter!!! What the fuck was that speach even about???!?!? At no point in the movie was the things she talked about an issue!!! I hate it. I hate. And I hate anyone who likes it. It's bad writing. It's bad storytelling. It's bad bad BADDD!!! The movie wanted it so much to be the emotional pinnacle, but it wasn't - I'm Kenough was. It's just so bad in so many ways that I can't even fully express here yet.

Look. There was a lot of potential in this movie, and so much love went into crafting it. But the bottom line is that this is a bad movie, created by a conglomerate for the sole purpose of selling products, while trying to be cool with kids and self critical without actually being critical (I can't even begin to form coherent thoughts on the mess that was in-movie Matel, so I just won't). This made the honest part of the movie a fucking mess, while leaving the metaphor close to a masterpiece, and yet I am expected to think otherwise for some reason unbeknownst to me.

This is a bad movie. Barbie is a bad character. Neither Greta Gerwig nor Margo Robbie deserve a nomination for this, no matter how talented they are, and they are.

Ryan Gosling is literally the only good thing about this movie. This was one of the greatest performances I have ever seen in my life. Award shows are absolutely pointless and stupid, but his is a worthy nomination nonetheless.

I really am sorry if you loved this movie. This is absolutely not about you. Like I said, I truly enjoyed watching it. I just don't think it has any merit beyond the Ken storyline.

[ghostalope]

getting used to living alone and not with my abuser has been kind of wild on reflection. Like I still get scared when I hear loud noises upstairs. Sometimes I feel like I’m anticipating hearing her footsteps and trying to workout where she is, waiting for her to leave so I can go outside.

(Rambling abt abuse under the cut)

I think about how she used to tell me all the basic things I couldn’t do - she made out that I always messed it up, I was too disabled to do my laundry, or shopping, or whatever. Basic shit I wasn’t allowed to do because she could use it to complain on Facebook about how hard her life was, because of me. I think about how easy it’s been. I could always do it - maybe I’m such half a person, but she made me out to be such a slither of a person. It’s strange to realise you are more alive than you thought.

I booked my first dental appointment in 9 years yesterday - It feels embarrassing. I used to beg her to take me to the dentist, but she wouldn’t let me. At first I understood, because it’s expensive, but then I find out we had the money. She had my money for my disabilities, and she kept it for her. I don’t think she would’ve ever taken me to the dentist unless my teeth actually started to fall out - she didn’t take me to the opticians for 3 years - until I caused such a big fuss she couldn’t Facebook-mum her way out of. My pain only existed to her if she could get money from it, or use it to look like more of a victim. It’s weird not having her kill my plants out of spite when we fought her. I had this one plant I grew for five years, when I stopped talking to her, she’d killed it within the next week. She killed all my plants. I had about 20? 30? When I moved out I had one left. She’d use anything I used to cope against me - I was 18 and I begged her to let me go horse riding. We went a few times to groom the horses first, it was the only social interaction she’d let me experience in 5 years. But then I had a panic attack at the stables and she took it away as punishment.

It’s so strange to not live with that. I wonder if I’m too hard on her? I get my BPD from somewhere and it’s not my dad. I know how hard it is to have BPD, and not know what’s wrong with you. But also, I think about how she tried to kill me, said my dad would be ‘better off’ without me, how she’d pin me in corners and grab me during arguments when I’d try to leave. She’d film my breakdowns, play them back to me as a form of humiliation. She’d tell random people that I had an ED, and that I SH’d, and then she’d grab my arms and roll up my sleeves to show them. One time I refused. But only the once.

I’ve done some bad things because of my BPD, because I was being abused and I didn’t know it, but I think maybe being emotional and clingy on the internet is different to trying to kill someone? I don’t know. Am I as bad as her? I feel like I have some things inside me that say I’m not - my mother never said sorry when we were ‘close’. Her trying to kill me was nothing to her. She still tries to get to me. She sent me letters because I refused to talk to her, and she’d say ‘sorry’, but I don’t believe she knew why she was saying it. I’d try to tell her why I was so upset, and she’d say it wasn’t that bad, she’d get annoyed, she’d ice me. She was my primary carer and if I tried to tell her she was hurting me, no matter how gently, she’d stop talking to me for the week. I didn’t have anyone else and she knew that.

I try to hope it was subconscious - did she know she was hurting me? But she did so much to me. There’s a part of me that wonders if she knows, somewhere, exactly what she was doing. And then then I think about how much energy I have given to this woman - to trying not to hate her unfairly, and I wonder - has she ever given me such an understanding? I feel like I was always just a bad seed to her. I was just Difficult. I think she thought that when I was born. I was always a naughty kid, but I can’t remember why. I just remember being shouted at, I just remember being recorded. I just remember being a problem.

So it’s difficult. Living alone, I realise now how bad things were. There’s so much I think about, everyday I remember more. Everyday, I feel like it gets harder to understand her. I hear about what she does to my brother, my dad, and it’s hard. I consider myself quite understanding, and I have tried to understand her. But I feel like I can’t anymore. I don’t think she wants to be understood.

Idk. It’s hard to move from. I never thought this would happen to me. You never think - Oh I was abused. It doesn’t happen to you. It happens to other people, right? But doesn’t everything?

It feels like she’s a ghost in my flat. I’m haunted by the memories of how I’d live with her. I think it’s dying, but it’s slow. I have so many ghosts inside me. I hope one day, I’ll live alone and it will just be me.

[emeryvell]

Distractions

Carol Danvers x she/her character

tags: tiny tiny bit of angst, oh? oh.

words: 737

small note: OC doesn't know about Carol's past, she joined the Starforce shortly after Carol, otherwise, she is anything you want her to be

please, let me know of any errors you may encounter

‘’You promised me there was nothing between you and him!’’ She couldn’t believe it. It was one thing to wake up alone in the middle of the night after a night of whispered promises and intertwined breaths, but to walk into her (maybe) partner and their commander sharing a kiss was a thought she never wanted to entertain. Yet, it happened. 

Yon-Rogg was a jerk. He presented himself as this benevolent leader figure with a genuine desire to help others, always having the right word to say to those who needed it and she didn’t like him. Not just because she could see through his facade, but because when he was around Vers, Yon-Rogg seemed like a different man. As if he was trying to penetrate her soul and suck out every thought she had. He needed something from her and she could read his calculated moves. Vers was, however, blind to it. At least she thought, they never talked much about him.

‘’And at that time it was the truth,’’ Vers threw up her hands like whatever because she didn't understand why was the girl so upset. In Vers’ mind, they were just sleeping together; de-stressing, as the girl once said while grabbing Vers’ hips to turn her around, and make her see stars. ‘’I thought you and Minn-Erva had another bet on.’’

‘’We only ever had one bet, which I won by the way, and-’’ she suddenly stopped because she didn't know what to say. The girl suddenly realized how strange she sounded. She and Vers were not a couple, they spent a couple of nights together and that was all, she had no right to ask  for an explanation. But it hurt. She thought that something had started to develop between them, but it was probably only in her head. 

‘’I’m sorry, I was stupid and I thought- I believed there was something forming between us.’’ There was no point in lying, she had already made a mess of herself. The girl was almost crying. They stood in Vers’ room,  it was the closest room where they wouldn't disturb anyone in the middle of the night. Vers was fully dressed in sports clothes, which meant that she had another nightmare and, as was her habit, went to work out. The girl was only in her robe, hugging it tightly to her body as the nights on Hala became colder these days. There was silence.

Until Vers broke it. ‘’Yon-Rogg kissed me, I didn't kiss him. He has been watching us for a long time and he thinks that this ‘thing’ between us makes it impossible for us to concentrate and improve in our duties. That we distract each other.’’

Oh.

‘’I guess his kiss was supposed to be some kind of power move? I have no idea, maybe he though that his kiss would magically erase my feelings? I mean, my head is a mess and my memory sucks but I do have a strong feeling that I know how it feels like to like someone-’’ Vers kept rambling and moving in circles, and didn't notice at all how the girl was looking at her with big eyes and a half-open mouth.

‘’Oh,’ the girl stopped her rambling and caught her hands lightly. She knew Vers. She is decisive and has a strong spirit, she likes to argue but always only about small things, she respects the decisions of her superiors and even if she sometimes tries to be a rebel, she remains loyal to her people. But what is most important, she listens to her guts. And if her guts told her to doubt Yon-Rogg, that’s a step forward, and the girl was winning.

With their fingers intertwined, she pulled her close, put her mouth to Vers’ ear and whispered: ‘’He’s a dick.’’ Her mouth continued lower, across her cheek, until it reached the edge of her lips lifted in a smile. 

‘’'Will you let me continue to be your distraction, this time officially?’’ They could not maintain eye contact, both girls' eyes on nothing but the other's lips. Their breath began to mix and they could hear each other's heartbeats.

‘’Only if I can stay as yours,’’ Vers’ hands began to drift freely under her robe, ‘’officially!’’

As they fell back onto the unmade bed, the sound of their breaths and whimpers filled the room, echoing the warmth of their whispered promises.

[myers-meadow]

"so what im struggling with" *perks up in 'I overthink everything about fantasy'* May I offer my two cents? *heaves up a tome of thoughts*

"does raphael sleep in human or cambion form?" Material Plane snooze are in human form. Nine Circles snoozes are in cabion form.

"but horns" "how does he sleep with them? theyre quite large and tall and wide. extra soft pillow?" *points to that last thing* Yes! And/Or uses his arms like pillows on which to rest his head/cheek/chin.

"then theres the wings" "does one sometimes go underneath? when spooning are u in between the wings? or is he a belly sleeper?" *clears throat* Spooning the fiend can mean you get to be nestled between a pair of powerful wings. Since fiend is big and might sleep on either belly or on side, you either spoon him by laying on top of his back like an undersized security blanket or by laying on one of his wings and it feels no different to him than having slept on one of his arms. Alternatively, big fiend sleeps on side and you spoon him by laying underneath both wings and either scoot further up his body with your arms around his shoulders or scoot further down his body with your arms wrapped around his midriff. Final option (and my personal favorite) is big fiend sleeps on his side, you spoon him by scooting further down his body with your arms wrapped around his midriff, and you use the strong base of the fiend's lower wing as a pillow for your head rather than resting your whole body on it.

"is it easier/more comfortable to then sleep in human form? or are devils so used to cambion from that it doesnt matter to them at all?" Matter of opinion. Not having to deal with horns, tails, wings, and taking up more space has its advantages, but fiends tend to see mortals as lesser (think Raphael's 'I am no mortal!') and I can see a fiend's fiendish form being a point of pride. Also, working around their horns, wings, and tails is indeed likely just second nature to them.

*tome closes with a satisfying 'thud'* Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Sorry for the rambling mess that you didn't ask for.

AAA thank you!! bless!!!!!! ✨🌻

this is actually a GREAT help and a great inspiration!

I do have follow up questions though; so strap in. If you lay underneath his wings, are they heavy? I imagine a pleasant kind of weight, bc i do find weight on top of me when sleeping to be comfortable, but it must also be somewhat inflexable bc of the cartilidge, and it has a few pointy spots as well (as does most of him seemingly).

Aww poor Raphael with pins and needles in his wings after you slept on them half the night 😭 hahahaha. Perhaps you should massage the feeling back into them? :))

Arms around his midriff sounds like heaven.... *dreamy sigh* As well as the 'undersized security blanket' option. I'd love to be his undersized security blanket <3. That also sounds comfy tbh, esp bc im a belly sleeper as well.

i was thinking about the horns being kinda a nuisance sometimes bc i have quite long hair, and despite having lived with it for a while, I still snag it at stuff, sit on it and yank by own head and stuff. It's not the same of course, but playing as a tiefling does make me think so frequently how i would step on my own tail, get it dirty, sleep on top of it awkwardly etcetc sdkfjsdkf.

Speaking of this is making me sleepy.. Wish i could go to bed with Haarlep and have him fuck cuddle me to sleep 🥺💞

Thank you again, this is so helpful and really nice to be able to hear your thoughts!!

xoxo

meadow up past her bedtime looking at images of the (half) devils for references of their wings

[ryuuarchives]

“Brain Dump – Casual Thoughts & Random Ramblings (Nyaa~)”

Okay, so here’s the deal. You’re about to enter the mind of Ryu-sama (beware) in its most unfiltered form. Brain Dump is where I toss all my random thoughts, half-formed ideas, and awkward musings that don’t really fit anywhere else but still need to exist in the digital ether.

Expect:

Weird thoughts about life that make me question my own existence.

Short posts that are probably too deep for a Tumblr post.

Things I need to get out of my head before I burst.

Bad writting, this is blurbn!!

Casual updates on my struggle with being human.

This is my mental purge space. The place where I let my brain wander and trip over itself. It’s messy, it’s weird, it’s Ryu.

If you’re here for some deep, life-changing revelations, sorry—it’s mostly ‘I should end myself tonight?’ 'did i called my grandma today?'

But hey, we’re all weird here. So welcome to the mess. 🌀

Updates whenever the brain feels like it.

[viviennevermillion]

Cuddling Headcanons

notes: reposting bc I’m deleting my archived sideblogs

contains: azul ashengrotto x gn!reader

warnings: none

First off Azul is touch-starved™ and receiving affection especially if it’s early on in the relationship will make him melt.

Secondly, you don’t believe how easily this man cries out of happiness. He doesn’t want to but more than often he will shed at least a few tears when being showered with love. Especially if he had a stressful day. Especially if it’s during long cuddling sessions. Especially if it’s late at night because he gets sappy when tired.

Poor guy comes back from a dorm leader meeting with everyone arguing for a solid hour and a half and Crowley going on a long rant about how generous he is; so Azul’s all the more glad when he finds you having fallen asleep in his bed after waiting for him to come back. You have your own room key which is technically not allowed in NRC but we must not forget that Azul was somehow able to bribe Crowley so one room key isn’t going to get him into trouble.

He didn’t intend on waking you up, but you did when he put his arms around you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” His apology gets cut off by your lips softly pressing onto his own. Kisses already make him melt but getting them unexpectedly makes his heart beat faster and makes him lean into your touch even more.

You both smile into the kiss and you run a hand through Azuls hair, helping him unwind after the dorm leader meeting.

He’s laying on the side, pushing himself up with his lower arm and slightly leaning over you; gently laying a hand against your cheek and putting soft kisses to your forehead.

This is the point where one of you tells the other you’ve missed them. Sometimes you end up speaking in unison.

You look into each other’s eyes with a smile on your faces and you press a kiss onto the tip of Azul’s nose, which makes his smile widen.

You pull him down into your arms and he wraps his own arms tightly around you. He starts quietly telling you about his day or the dorm leader meeting or his work for a while with you occasionally placing kisses onto his forehead and running your fingertips across his back.

At this point he’s still the smooth talker he presents himself to be in public; smirking a lot and adding the usual level of drama to his voice when he tells you about something.

Azul talks a lot when you cuddle, unless he’s overwhelmed. He enjoys getting his thoughts out to someone he can trust in a comfortable setting and it helps him de-stress at the end of the day. You listen to eachother attentively while being tangled up in each other’s arms.

At some point your sentences become more quiet whispers. You talk about your feelings, saying you love each other and throwing in the occasional compliment. Once Azul knows he can trust you and that he can be open with you, these things come easy to him and he never gets tired of them.

Ever since you two got together he doesn’t lose his composure anymore when being confronted with lots of compliments or being teased by you. Before that verbal affection used to catch him off guard and occasionally make him flustered.

A very different story, however, is anything that involves his octopus form. It took him ages to even be willing to show you this form or get comfortable being around you like this and it’ll take him even longer to stop being a flustered mess and calming down when he’s in his octopus form.

It’s always the same thing over and over again: he transforms, you start reassuring him that he’s beautiful and that you love him while holding him tight and he’ll eventually start to ramble about how “maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all” or awkwardly trying to cover his tentacles with the blanket in an attempt for you not to see the form he dislikes. It usually ends with him turning onto his stomach and burying his face in the pillow so you can’t see his flushed cheeks.

Place a couple of soft kisses between his shoulder blades and you’ll make it worse. He loves it so much but he’s still self-conscious about his merman form and the goosebumps on his skin aren’t making it any better.

So he’ll eventually turn around and bury his face in your neck instead, wrapping his tenctacles and arms around you.

Which is great because Azul has 10 limbs. He can hug you with 10 limbs instead of two.

Azul Ashengrotto also lowkey reinvented the concept of massages because again, the man has 10 limbs and 8 of them are highly flexible. He doesn’t even need to change his position to do that, he can just keep being wrapped in your arms comfortably and kissing you while he’s massaging your arms, legs and back all at the same time.

Azul is a very affectionate partner, for one because he’s so touch-starved and on the other hand because he needs a lot of validation and love to heal from his past. And he might get embarrassed easily or struggle to wrap his head around the fact that you love him no matter what but receiving care and kind words when he’s in this form helps him a lot in getting more comfortable in his own skin and putting a few positive comments about it into his mind in contrast to all the negative ones he so vividly remembers.

Kiss one of his tentacles and he’ll break. In, like, a good way. I headcanon they’re really sensitive and receiving touch like this to a part of himself he has struggled to accept for so long and still struggles to accept in addition to being emotional overall in this form and also in love with you will make him a mess™. This is the point where he starts crying. It’s as much of a contrast to his usual calm and witty facade as his state after his overblot was to the shady business man people knew him as.

So there you have Azul Ashengrotto, curled up in your arms and pressing his face into your shoulder while he’s letting out quiet sobs out of happiness.

“Please don’t stop”, he mutters quietly, face flushing red immediately when he realizes what he said. Azul apologizes and you reassure him that there’s nothing wrong with what he said and that you enjoy making him feel loved.

After a while he’s just shaking his head and repeating “I love you” at least once every 2 minutes because he’s feeling so much and can’t put it into words but he needs to express it somehow.

If you’re as emotional as him it happens that you two just end up smiling at eachother with tears in your eyes, unable to comprehend all you feel for one another. (crying together can in fact be a bonding moment)

You always notice when he’s having doubts about himself or his octopus form and you’ll make an effort to reassure him that he’s perfect for you the way he is.

“I will love you until you learn to love yourself, Azul” “How about after that too?” You smile at him. “It’s a deal.”

[robodove]

SHOW US THE PIRATE STUFF DO THE MERMAID STUFF ALKNASDAS

OKAY I FINALLY HAVE A LITTLE TIME ARRGAGRG I hope this aimless infodump is readable

so! Their designs and junk are a mess rn but I do have some stuff of them!!

Ignore the little dragon in the last I'm still working on Lloyd's whole... business. And! Don't mind the text in the pink one, I was just tryna think up silly nicknames!

Anyways! They aren't really... Traditional pirates? Y'know.. cause their crew size is like 5 + a child and ancient beast.

Under division is a small ramble

Cole's the "captain" and is a selkie (although I know they're usually seals I accidentally chose a sea lion)! He's the sea lion in the pictures and I'm desperately trying to work his skin into the design. I thought it'd be silly since he was raised in dance and entertainment.. and hey! Sea lions are known for that too!

(he wasn't meant to look so forsaken here, sorry Cole)

Jay is a mermaid (thing?) When in the water, he has the lower half reminiscent of an electric eel (I saw reminiscent as there are some major differences)! No one really has powers in this but he can still shock like that,, Ed and Edna are still human in this and I'm trying to remember if they still lived at a scrapyard or a shipyard.

Both Kai and Nya are only half mermaid! Nya ended up inheriting way more mermaid traits than her brother, who doesn't even have a tail in water, but still has a lot of human drawbacks. She can only breathe underwater for so long and ironically Kai can last down there longer. He just chooses not to since I thought it'd be funny to still let him be scared of water in this 😭 sorry Kai. He still has the recognizable sharper teeth and has bits and flashes of shimmery scales but is overall the most human of the bunch once you count out Cole's unskinned form.

I couldn't resist myself on Zane and ended up making him a siren. Mainly because.. bird! And also if he was going to be organic, I wanted to isolate him from the other sea related creatures. He has the wings and feathers of a gyrfalcon and can't swim as well in the ocean! He ends up bonding with Kai over this Kai originally hadn't liked him too much! Reasonably so since.. y'know.. sirens eat people. And mermaids in this.. although Zane eats human things as he was raised on it by a still very human Dr. Julien (who I guess is more of a bird-oriented wildlife scientist in this? ornithologist?). insert joke about him being a hand raised bird.

I don't have my sketchbook with me right now so I'm scrambling for pictures but ! Like all their designs, he's still a work in progress. Will most likely make his legs longer or something but this is just my ideas LOL

And anyways! Onto Lloyd! (And the others?)

I was struggling to decide what Lloyd should be,, like? A dragon could still very much work and his normal version is already so cool?? However, I ended up on leviathan.. a baby one. The serpentine aren't decided but Lloyd's still pretty much not taken seriously by the town. Still winds up being taken in by the "ninja!"

Garmadon is still locked up, although now at the bottom of the ocean! The Skulkin are drowned/dead pirates?

Wu is who I've been struggling to decide on as well! For whatever reason I've been contemplating making him like just some statue in the Destiny's Bounty that speaks to them.

There's plenty of other things going on,, Kai and Nya come to them on accident and Jay is over the moon to see other moons and wants to show them their "ways" despite having never even met others before. Cole is desperately trying to keep everyone in one place as they've accidentally made the perfect collection of the world's most valuable pelts.

Kai still raises Nya at the forge (which in this, is beachside), but years later there's a rise in pricing for the scales of mers and the boy decides that they need to leave in effort to protect her. Nya is devastated because this is their home! Where else would they even go?? They barely have any cash! Kai's decision is further inland AND with the money they get from selling the forge. Yadda, yadda, the buyer turns on them and they wind up in the ocean near their home! Kai's knocked cold, which is for the better as Nya swims them further and further into open ocean.

For the first time, Nya meets another mer as she tries to save her brother, and he helps them aboard a ship! The Destiny's Bounty! (Or perhaps a ship before it? It's all still up in air)

I'd expand more but I'm out of time </3 please give any suggestions if you'd like to! I'd always appreciate criticism