#I think I hate it sort of idk anywayssss

[ghostbeam]

1.5k, charcoal artist!dabi (again I’m so sorry), mentions of alcohol, dabi and reader are awkward, idk what this is but I kept it under 2k and that is a win for me

It’s been two weeks.

You haven’t seen him by your tree since then, but you haven’t taken him up on his offer and showed up at his place. You transferred the address from the pen on your skin to a scrap piece of paper and hung in on your fridge before you could lose it forever after washing your hands.

It would be weird to show up without calling, only you can’t call him because you don’t have his number. You don’t have classes in the same building, and you think it would be even weirder to walk around the art department to find him instead of just knocking on his door, like he asked you to. 

So, you do end up at his front door, double checking the address with the numbers outside, because Dabi seems to live in some kind of warehouse, and you would assume he wrote down the wrong address if it didn’t make complete sense in your mind that he lived here. You decided on a Friday night, because you assumed a guy like him would be out, and the thought of him answering his door right now is mortifying. 

But he does answer it, and his hair is sticking out in different directions even worse than before, and he’s yawning into his fist, and you’re realizing you’ve just woke him up. 

It stuns him a little, to see you. You’re cute all bundled up from the chilly night out, chin tucked into your scarf as you let your eyes fall over his form. 

“I didn’t think you’d come.” He tells you, leaning against his door frame, voice heavy with sleep. “Figured you thought it was weird that I gave you my address.”

“It was weird.” You nodded, shivering a bit from the cold. “Can I come in?”

He opens the door wider and lets you through. It’s mostly dark inside, one lamp in a far corner illuminating just a little bit of the room. He mutters a sorry as he passes by you, turning on lights overhead, half of the lightbulbs needing to be changed and not helping to illuminate the place much at all. 

“It’s usually brighter during the day.” He shrugs, turning back towards you. “The windows.”

He gestures behind him and you notice the large panels of glass against both walls. It must be nice in the day, all of the natural light, especially for an artist. 

You continue to look around. It’s mostly one giant room with ceilings as tall as the sky. There’s a small kitchen on the right side of the place, art that you assume isn’t his hung on the refrigerator, handmade mugs hanging on a rack by the sink, boxes of sugary cereal on the wooden island you think maybe he or someone else built.

There’s a bathtub to the left, just out in the middle of everything. It’s strange, and completely out of place, but looking at it gives you some sort of weird vision of the future in your mind. Reading in it, leaning back against Dabi and falling asleep, him peering over the edge and kissing you goodbye. A fond smile crosses your face.

Easels, and standing desks, and giant canvases full of abstract paint fill the rest of the room. A tarp on the floor in the middle of everything is covered with charcoal and red paint, pages and pages of unfinished sketches. Paperbacks lay on tables, stacked up against walls, three on his bedside table, all with bookmarks inside, unfinished.

“It’s a mess, I know.” He shrugs. “I kept it nice for a while, you know, in case you came, but then I kind of figured you never would. But you did.”

There’s something guarded about him this time, less open than he was when you met him on the grass. You can understand it. After all, you’re intruding. He was asleep. You should go home. 

“Maybe I should go home. It’s probably a bad time. It’s late, and—” You feel his hand wrap around your wrist, stoping your nervous ramble.

“Stay. Please, I want you to stay.” He tells you, and you can see that bit of vulnerability shine through, a little bit in his eyes. You nod, unable to look away from him. “You want something to drink?”

You don’t trust your voice, so all you do is nod, and when Dabi disappears into his tiny kitchen, you walk further into the room, entranced by his art. You wish you knew more about it, then, that you had something to compare it to, though you think maybe there’s nothing like what he does. 

He brings back a bottle of beer, and you take a long gulp because you suddenly feel hot alone with Dabi in his space. He chuckles under his breath and tugs on your arm.

“You wanna take this off?” He asks you, tugging on your scarf. You hand him your beer and take your scarf and coat off, letting him take them from you and laying them across his bed. He walks to one of the desks in the room, pulling the spiral sketchbook from the day before and a portfolio with handles from behind the desk. He hands you the book and drops the portfolio heavy on the floor. 

“Here.” He tells you, rubbing his palms on the sides of his pants out of what you think is nerves. “It’s obviously not everything, but you can start here, I guess. Or stop there, too. If you get sick of it.”

You say nothing, but you move to sit on the floor, opening the spiral sketchbook. It’s not all pretty or refined or finished. It’s a hand and an eye and the face of a friend and a tree and a body of water. It’s all scribbled and jagged, and there’s bits that are smooth, smudged over and shaded in a way that makes you feel like if you touched it, it would feel like skin. There’s splotches of red and yellow, blues and greens, a random water color on one page, ink on the next. 

And when you get close to the end, it’s all you. 

It’s not much, but it’s more than you expected. There’s no more mistakes here, nothing unfinished or crossed out or scribbled over. He’s careful about it. You’re speechless. 

You pull the portfolio into your lap and open the flap. Pages of all varying sizes and textures are stuffed inside. These pieces are much more refined. He’s worked on them for longer, maybe for a class. He has an unbelievable eye for the human body, how it bends and folds. You hate to think about how these are hidden away behind his desk. You’d put them up around the city, and on bulletin boards in cafe’s, and over every inch of your walls in your own apartment.

It makes you feel a little bit emotional, here on his floor with his soul in your hands. There’s this urge you have, to hug him, to push his hair from his eyes, to kiss his hands. You hold one page in between your fingers, the torso of a man and his arms around a woman, her head lying back against his chest. You stand up, and you look at him with your watery eyes, and you turn to walk away. 

You swing a leg over the weird, out in the open bath tub, and settle down inside, looking down at the piece you took. Dabi’s footsteps are slow as he approaches you, crouches down next to the tub and rests his forearms on it.

“You can have that one.” He says, resting his chin against his arm. “Or any of them. Tell me, and it’s yours.”

You don’t know how to tell him you want it all. Selfishly, you’d take every single piece if he gave them to you. 

You look at him, thumbing the corner of the page, yours now. You keep opening and closing your mouth like you want to speak. You want to tell him thank you, and you probably should if he’s really letting you keep it, but it’s more than that. Thank you for letting me see you. I have nothing like this that can show you the inside of my soul, but you can reach through my ribs if you want to.

His hand comes up to rest behind your head, the brush of his thumb against your neck, tender. You lean into it and close your eyes. When you open them, he’s much closer now, so close that leaning forward makes you bump noses. He smiles. 

“Will you stay?” It’s not a question of just to night, but forever, you think. Or at least that’s how it feels to you. You nod. 

“God, yes.” You answer, like you’ve been waiting for him to ask, like you’re whole life has led up to this moment in this empty bathtub. He brushes his lips against yours like he’s asking permission. You give him the slightest nod. 

He kisses you. 

[thechanbaeklibrary]

Fic Search #26

1) anonymous asked: Hi babies, could you please help me find a fic? I really can't remember the plot but bbh was friends with dks and they were like each other's families and there was a scene in which baek called kyungsoo over the phone and after he hung up, jongdae appeared behind kyungsoo letting us know that they had sex. I think kyungsoo was adamant on having a relationship so at first they didn't tell bbh about them. I can't remember anything else ;-; pls help

2) anonymous asked: Hi lovely admins! I’ve been looking for this fic it seems to be a wolf au where chanyeol is some sort of a king and baek is some sort of a queen? I cant remember much but there was a scene where baekhyun is pregnant and the pups (even when its still unborn) were so powerful that their enemies were under a trance? And they were on the knees just hearing baeks command? Thank you very much for reading this!

Inevitable by skynet

3) zesamani2 asked: Hii, do you know this fic where baekhyun was a model and he had a scandal (i forgot what it was) so his friends told him to make a bigger scandal so the fans will forget. So he kissed chanyeol in front of the camera and later on chan got mad cause baek was using him I lost it unfortunately

4) moonofzuly asked: Hey! Can you help me find this one fic that i read a long time ago but can't remember the title. I can't remember much but in the end chanyeol (or was it baek??idk :( wears red beanie and asks baek to wear one too if he likes him or smth and they both wear it another day at uni. That's all i can remember i hope you'll help me find out. Have great day!!!

5) anonymous asked: Looking for a one shot I read recently! It was about roommates Baek and Chan where Baek had a crush on Chan but he thought he was straight. Chan brings home three girls (from rv I think) and Baek joins in for an orgy. Baek gets pegged by one of the girls. I've looked everywhere but I can't find it on AGF or AO3. Could possibly be a tweet fic as I also read a lot on Twitter. I would be so happy if you could find it!

Tweetfic by @/stay_up614

6) anonymous asked: hi! I’m trying to look for a fic I read once! EXO was kind of a small criminal/drug group, and it was based on their Kokobop personas. Baekhyun was the ringleader and I think the idea was that they were on vacation to escape from the police. Chanyeol was his subordinate and in love with Baekhyun, but he knew it was only sex. One line I remember super clearly is Baekhyun saying “Just a little longer. I want to feel what it’d be like to be in love with you.” It was really feels-heavy ;-; thanks!

7) anonymous asked: Hi guys!! Do u know this fic where Chanyeol is a prince who fell in love with his servant and so he had sex with her but his parents want him to marry prince Baekhyun so he does but after that, the servant came back with a baby and Yeol thinks he’s the father so he asks Baekhyun to leave... thanks guys for helping

The Bonding by yousexypanda

8) anonymous asked: Hi, could you please help me finding this fic? The fic was still on-going but it starts with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo married or dating. But, for some reason Chanyeol felt like something was missing about their relationship. Then, Chanyeol remembered that someone suggested him to download this app or go to this website (I think). There he created a virtual boyfriend which was Baekhyun. In order, for Baekhyun to be human, Chanyeol must pursue Baekhyun until it reaches 100% love. Please please help.

9) prinuibe asked: Hello,,, finally i catch the ask box open after centuries of waiting,, anyways could you please help me find this story of chanbaek centered (have other pairings too), but the only thing i remember was kai is yeol's friend and soo is baek's, kaisoo is actually married (arranged)but soo hates kai, it's college or hs au, and they all come from rich family, helppppppp Oh, i love this blog, i love you admins for doing this wonderful recommendation blog, hugs and kisses, lots of it

10) angie-pkm asked: Hi! first of all thank you so much for all the work you guys put in 💕 I'm looking for an old fic, 2014 or earlier, I'm pretty sure it was on live journal but it might be aff. It was really angsty and was a disbandment fic all I can remember for sure is that the author stopped writing it because she spooked herself when she wrote about kris leaving before he actually did. Thank you!

11) anonymous asked: helloooo!! thank you so much for your hardwork admin-nims T_____T anywayssss, do you a fic where chanyeol is a mafia and baekhyun was brought by force (baekhyun was given to chanyeol by the boss mafia) and sehun kept on flirting with baekhyun. kyungsoo is the only tolerable "friend" that he has

Tweetfic by @/johannababe15

12) anonymous asked: do you know the fic where cy was betted to date bh and bh was a nerd. i think bh waked into a cafe and saw cy telling people how ‘easy’ bh was. thanks for your help!

13) anonymous asked: There was a fic posted i think in late 2018 on ao3, it was oneshote about basketball player cy who live with his bf bhh and he have to travel for a gameplay but bh wasn't happy about it because he wouldn't get daily sex does and he refused to watch porn so he comes up with idea of filming one and so he asks cy to film himself while bh suck him off and when they fuck. However when bh wakes up he found out that cy was filming him the whole time also i remember cy throw bh's porn magazine or smthn

thanks to @shimoshim0 , @verinchen , @justwanttobefreelikethewind, @firegodjrr  for your help!

[wildpokemon]

ML Season 3 Rewatch: Silencer

Production No. 307

This is the first episode I ever truly watched live, downloaded a VPN and everything to watch on RTS lol. I only know a little bit of French and I remember being really proud of myself that I actually understood like 80% of the dialogue, and I was all excited about being able to watch future premieres in French. Yeah that didn’t work out lol, turns out that Silencer just happened to have easier dialogue for me to understand than others lol. Anywayssss, let’s watch it again!!

I hate XY and freakin Bob Roth (also why’d they name him that lmaoo)

XY and Nino having the same voice actor in the English dub throws me off every time lol

“you know I never have any ideas ahaha ah” what a little asshole. and he legitimately doesnt know his songs all sound the same?? lolwut

kitty section!!! they make me so happy

and i really like how marinette designs the costumes, theyre so fun!

alsooo luka complimenting her and their little shy looks at each other are v sweet

lmao at luka saying that their song about unicorns is totally sincere loll

fuck XY and his shitty ass ripoff. with all the money he has his costumes are still made of cardboard?? like at least be GOOD at ripping them off smh

ivan pretending to be akumatized as a distraction lolll great idea

luka and marinette so angery

FUCK Bob Roth

calling kitty section an amateur garage band when his son is standing right there covered in newspaper

love that marinette is more mad about them stealing lukas music, and hes mad about them stealing her costumes. theyre defending each other first, and it’s nice

oooo he so madd, ripped it right of XY’s face

this part in the french dub was more powerful imo, when luka says it’s fine and marinette like wrenches herself back around and yells “ce n’est pas NORMAL!!” her voice was so intense. like YES girl, fuckin fight for it!!

luka says grr

really interesting that hawkmoth points out luka as having a “pure soul”

i wonder if the original concept for luka’s akumatized form stemmed from the whole “not good with his words” thing that he says when he’s first introduced back in Captain Hardrock. I really like that concept for his character, and that he like, lets his music do most of the talk for him - and then as an akumatized victim he steals the voices of other to let THEM do the talking for him. But, in the execution of his character it seems like that’s gotten lost a bit. Like, he was talking a lot so far in the episode, and seemed to have a pretty good handle on himself and expressing himself accurately. Idk, this is something I’d like to see explored a bit more with him eventually. Just to see him have a bit more flaws and be more of a presence outside of just liking Marinette, because I like his character a lot and I think there’s potential there but the writers are just sort of letting it fall to the side a bit and over focusing on his feelings for her instead

lolll at Bob Roth trying to hide behind Marinette

the haaaaaand

she looks so disappointed when Silencer asks her where Ladybug and Cat Noir were when they needed them. But she was therreee, trying to help lol

silencer’s love confession with XY’s voice is so unsettling lol

but marinette’s reaction is so cuuuuute, her realization and then little blush?? and squealing to tikki in the bathroom?? adorable

watching this back to back with Weredad is a little interesting, seeing how adrien/chat reacts to a love confession compared with how marinette does here. they’re both excited, and unsure what to do about it at first. although, the show purposely leaves marinette’s true reaction to be pretty vague - feels like they wanna leave us in the dark on the full depth of marinette’s potential feelings for luka, and don’t want us to overanalyze anything (which everyone does anyway of course lol)

luka got tiny little chicken legs lmao

fuckin bob roth straight up shoving ladybug into silencer ugh

i actually love when LB gets hit during a fight, always makes for more tension and a more interesting solution for her and chat to figure out how to get out of the situation

lolll plagg just hanging out, bouncing on the tv remote lol

how come we never see marinette just chillin at home when chat runs by chasing an akuma?

“me-ow my lady sent me some messages” chat...no one is listening right now, you can lay off the cat puns

so if they never use their powers, and never say their de-transformation words, they never transform back? man, there goes any ideas for fics where they fall asleep in costume but wake up back in civilian form cause plagg got tired or something lol

lmao she hits him with the yoyo

“meanwhile i’ll be able to babble to my hearts content” lmao poor boy just wants to talk to someone

bob roth called andre on the phone and i was SO confused why he was calling the ice cream man, until i realized it was andre bourgeois, not glacier. whyd they give them the same name lol

chat yelling lucky charm aldkjsls. tbh i liked that better in the french dub too

honestly idk wtf ladybugs charades meant either lol

as comical as the hand talking thing is, the animation on them is sooo good. the detail in the shine and texture of his suit is so amazing

lmaoo chat telling LB she’s not much fun, but she’s right anyway

....wait a minute.. was that one, luka’s voice?? when he was fighting chat: “keep your nose out of other people’s business kitty or i’ll silence you too” that sounded EXACTLY like luka’s VA, especially the way he said “kitty.” he still used the hand to talk but still? and if he can still use his voice, why’d he choose to confess to marinette with XY’s voice instead of his own? lol idk, i mean it’s not really relevant, it just threw me off lol, i thought he wasn’t supposed to talk. 

Ladybug is so pissed she can’t just yell at bob roth while he goes on and on about how annoying he thinks kitty section is

yes girl. tie him up and leave him there. fuck that guy

LOVE the fake lucky charm lol, what a great idea

where’s that post about chat being naked without his belt lol. just looks weird

i wonder what the little voice blobs taste like

awww poor chat is so sad without his voice lol

get fucked bob roth. what an idiot tbh lol

that smug fist bump??? LOVE it

“my kitty” just doesnt have the same affection that “mon chaton” does imo

marinette’s blush and shy little way of asking luka if he meant the things he said?? she’s so cute. also, her having the courage to ask him about his feelings is more than we’ve ever seen her be comfortable enough to do with adrien (besides the confession gone wrong in Backwarder). but she asked luka without any real hesitation or worry, which tells me she still needs some time to be a bit more comfortable around adrien before she’s ready to be with him for real (and that’s okay!!)

i love that his speech is exactly the same as when he was akumatized. even when he was under hawkmoth’s control he knows his feelings for her, and isn’t afraid to voice those exact feelings to her as himself either.

oooo and there’s the pink sparkly background. she’s got the feels

I really like this episode overall, it’s a nice little break from our usual bunch of characters (also like, where is Alya this season lol, I miss her), and I do like seeing a bit of development for Luka and Marinette’s relationship (although, like I said, I would like more of Luka himself at some point) And this is two episodes in a row where we haven’t seen Marinette interact with Adrien really at all which feels sort of strange when I think about it lol.

A lot of these earlier episodes don’t feel like they have direct lead ins to later episodes, but I do feel like the order so far is still the best flow of the ones I’ve watched. And this episode does make the most sense to me as being the first of the “Lukanette” episodes this season - it definitely feels like it comes before Desperada at least. Otherwise, I didn’t really see much else to pinpoint it’s location.

[sunshinez]

16/02/2021 14:32

hii friends... i'm back again. sorry i've not really blogged recently; i totally forgot and have just been mentally unstable if im being honest. right now im sat in bed, with my pyjamas, watching glee in one tab, a roblox tab of tower of hell open and then im writing this. i straightened my hair today! first time i straightened it in 10 days. to think i used to straighten it every day.. where did i get the energy? i noticed my roots are coming in now too which sucks but, it was inevitable lol.

my rooms a HUGE mess right now. i really have to tidy it soon. but once again, it's just finding the energy/motivation to do so.

oh! my computer cut out 3 nights ago. i freaked out but my mum took a look at it the day after and fixed it.

i decided to start a diet yesterday. so far i've been good. i had 2 slices of bacon, some beans, a potato scone, an egg and a slice of buttered toast. it was good! i actually just finished a coffee i made. maybe should've skipped the whipped cream. but the breakfast was only like.. 450 calories! and it filled me up alot, as did the coffee i just had. im really just feeling crap about my weight. i can't remember the last time that i felt good about myself, just when i think i can't feel any worse i always manage to. at least when i was like 16, i thought my face was fine. now, i hate it more than my weight. i wish i could get some sort of surgery without getting the surgery if that makes sense. auckkkk. but yeah, right now i'm trying to focus on the diet and then maybe if im good all week ill order a takeaway on saturday! i was watching this woman on tiktok and she was showing her dominos takeaway she got and omg... i was just DROOLING! If I only get one takeaway a week then I would think i'm able to afford that.

i've been thinking about moving alot this year. of course im planning on moving to edinburgh with tara and tymon in the summer. taras mum anjali is thinking of just buying an apartment for us and then we pay her rent every month, which in fairness would be a much more ideal situation than just renting it from someone we don't know. I really feel like when I move i'll come out of my shell. I'll be able to do what I like, and i'll be in the city I love most.

ah, and i forgot to say ; i'm gonna make my own bucket list! i know there are a few things but i've never actually written it out, so once i get back from safehouse i might get started on it and make it all cute. i remember one of the things on my bucket list was to drink out of a red solo cup. thankfully i can cross that off now! i know it might seem like a silly one but i feel like thats something so simple yet quite monumental. or maybe not. idk. ANYWAYSSSS... i've definitely been rambling on for far too long. i'll finish up here.