#I think I hate it sort of idk anywayssss

[ghostbeam]

1.5k, charcoal artist!dabi (again I’m so sorry), mentions of alcohol, dabi and reader are awkward, idk what this is but I kept it under 2k and that is a win for me

It’s been two weeks.

You haven’t seen him by your tree since then, but you haven’t taken him up on his offer and showed up at his place. You transferred the address from the pen on your skin to a scrap piece of paper and hung in on your fridge before you could lose it forever after washing your hands.

It would be weird to show up without calling, only you can’t call him because you don’t have his number. You don’t have classes in the same building, and you think it would be even weirder to walk around the art department to find him instead of just knocking on his door, like he asked you to. 

So, you do end up at his front door, double checking the address with the numbers outside, because Dabi seems to live in some kind of warehouse, and you would assume he wrote down the wrong address if it didn’t make complete sense in your mind that he lived here. You decided on a Friday night, because you assumed a guy like him would be out, and the thought of him answering his door right now is mortifying. 

But he does answer it, and his hair is sticking out in different directions even worse than before, and he’s yawning into his fist, and you’re realizing you��ve just woke him up. 

It stuns him a little, to see you. You’re cute all bundled up from the chilly night out, chin tucked into your scarf as you let your eyes fall over his form. 

“I didn’t think you’d come.” He tells you, leaning against his door frame, voice heavy with sleep. “Figured you thought it was weird that I gave you my address.”

“It was weird.” You nodded, shivering a bit from the cold. “Can I come in?”

He opens the door wider and lets you through. It’s mostly dark inside, one lamp in a far corner illuminating just a little bit of the room. He mutters a sorry as he passes by you, turning on lights overhead, half of the lightbulbs needing to be changed and not helping to illuminate the place much at all. 

“It’s usually brighter during the day.” He shrugs, turning back towards you. “The windows.”

He gestures behind him and you notice the large panels of glass against both walls. It must be nice in the day, all of the natural light, especially for an artist. 

You continue to look around. It’s mostly one giant room with ceilings as tall as the sky. There’s a small kitchen on the right side of the place, art that you assume isn’t his hung on the refrigerator, handmade mugs hanging on a rack by the sink, boxes of sugary cereal on the wooden island you think maybe he or someone else built.

There’s a bathtub to the left, just out in the middle of everything. It’s strange, and completely out of place, but looking at it gives you some sort of weird vision of the future in your mind. Reading in it, leaning back against Dabi and falling asleep, him peering over the edge and kissing you goodbye. A fond smile crosses your face.

Easels, and standing desks, and giant canvases full of abstract paint fill the rest of the room. A tarp on the floor in the middle of everything is covered with charcoal and red paint, pages and pages of unfinished sketches. Paperbacks lay on tables, stacked up against walls, three on his bedside table, all with bookmarks inside, unfinished.

“It’s a mess, I know.” He shrugs. “I kept it nice for a while, you know, in case you came, but then I kind of figured you never would. But you did.”

There’s something guarded about him this time, less open than he was when you met him on the grass. You can understand it. After all, you’re intruding. He was asleep. You should go home. 

“Maybe I should go home. It’s probably a bad time. It’s late, and—” You feel his hand wrap around your wrist, stoping your nervous ramble.

“Stay. Please, I want you to stay.” He tells you, and you can see that bit of vulnerability shine through, a little bit in his eyes. You nod, unable to look away from him. “You want something to drink?”

You don’t trust your voice, so all you do is nod, and when Dabi disappears into his tiny kitchen, you walk further into the room, entranced by his art. You wish you knew more about it, then, that you had something to compare it to, though you think maybe there’s nothing like what he does. 

He brings back a bottle of beer, and you take a long gulp because you suddenly feel hot alone with Dabi in his space. He chuckles under his breath and tugs on your arm.

“You wanna take this off?” He asks you, tugging on your scarf. You hand him your beer and take your scarf and coat off, letting him take them from you and laying them across his bed. He walks to one of the desks in the room, pulling the spiral sketchbook from the day before and a portfolio with handles from behind the desk. He hands you the book and drops the portfolio heavy on the floor. 

“Here.” He tells you, rubbing his palms on the sides of his pants out of what you think is nerves. “It’s obviously not everything, but you can start here, I guess. Or stop there, too. If you get sick of it.”

You say nothing, but you move to sit on the floor, opening the spiral sketchbook. It’s not all pretty or refined or finished. It’s a hand and an eye and the face of a friend and a tree and a body of water. It’s all scribbled and jagged, and there’s bits that are smooth, smudged over and shaded in a way that makes you feel like if you touched it, it would feel like skin. There’s splotches of red and yellow, blues and greens, a random water color on one page, ink on the next. 

And when you get close to the end, it’s all you. 

It’s not much, but it’s more than you expected. There’s no more mistakes here, nothing unfinished or crossed out or scribbled over. He’s careful about it. You’re speechless. 

You pull the portfolio into your lap and open the flap. Pages of all varying sizes and textures are stuffed inside. These pieces are much more refined. He’s worked on them for longer, maybe for a class. He has an unbelievable eye for the human body, how it bends and folds. You hate to think about how these are hidden away behind his desk. You’d put them up around the city, and on bulletin boards in cafe’s, and over every inch of your walls in your own apartment.

It makes you feel a little bit emotional, here on his floor with his soul in your hands. There’s this urge you have, to hug him, to push his hair from his eyes, to kiss his hands. You hold one page in between your fingers, the torso of a man and his arms around a woman, her head lying back against his chest. You stand up, and you look at him with your watery eyes, and you turn to walk away. 

You swing a leg over the weird, out in the open bath tub, and settle down inside, looking down at the piece you took. Dabi’s footsteps are slow as he approaches you, crouches down next to the tub and rests his forearms on it.

“You can have that one.” He says, resting his chin against his arm. “Or any of them. Tell me, and it’s yours.”

You don’t know how to tell him you want it all. Selfishly, you’d take every single piece if he gave them to you. 

You look at him, thumbing the corner of the page, yours now. You keep opening and closing your mouth like you want to speak. You want to tell him thank you, and you probably should if he’s really letting you keep it, but it’s more than that. Thank you for letting me see you. I have nothing like this that can show you the inside of my soul, but you can reach through my ribs if you want to.

His hand comes up to rest behind your head, the brush of his thumb against your neck, tender. You lean into it and close your eyes. When you open them, he’s much closer now, so close that leaning forward makes you bump noses. He smiles. 

“Will you stay?” It’s not a question of just to night, but forever, you think. Or at least that’s how it feels to you. You nod. 

“God, yes.” You answer, like you’ve been waiting for him to ask, like you’re whole life has led up to this moment in this empty bathtub. He brushes his lips against yours like he’s asking permission. You give him the slightest nod. 

He kisses you. 

[activesplooger]

ʜɪꜱ ɴᴇᴡ ᴏʙꜱᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ | ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ!ᴠᴏx x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ | Blurb/me rambling about idfk

cw: talk of non-con, hypnotism, manipulation

MDNI

__

hi ok so idk if ygs saw the agenda or not but part 2 of this is 3rd on my list of to-dos!

the projects before hand are pretty bigs ones tbh so its gonna be a bit

im making this post to sort of feed the yandere vox fans since some people were aksing ab it

so yeah

i often think about what would've happened if reader hadn't accepted vox's little financially stablility + protection deal (↓ excerpt from HNO)

"C'mon, don't try to deny how enticing life with me would be," he explains in a low voice, "I'd take care of you, you wouldn't have to worry about work or money ever again.". He circles around behind you, soft hand massaging your shoulders as he speaks into your ear, "You wouldn't have to live in that crappy apartment anymore. No more worrying about rent, food, anything. It'd all be taken care of.". You turn your head and meet his gaze, your expression unconvinced. He scowls at your expression, red rings appearing in his eye in a pattern. Shit, he's trying to hypnotize you. You have to fight it.

"You will be mine. Your role here at VoxTech has changed, alright?" he commands, the once repulsive idea now sounding strangely enticing. You close your eyes and shake your head, "No! Stop, you can't manipulate me like this.". He scoffs, tired of hearing your rejections, "Oh, be serious! Do you really wanna live out the rest of your afterlife being nothing? Face it, without me, you can't get out of the dull life you have.". As much as you wanted to yell at him, tell him he was wrong, you didn't... You hated yourself for even considering his deal. On one hand, you'd be with someone unfathomably unstable... on the other, you'd be financially stable for the first time in your life... you'd be protected and loved, something you've never had. "...Fine," you hesitantly agree."

for a little background, life for reader hasn't been easy. they live paycheck to paycheck trying to make a living for themselves but they weren't interested in being an overlord and its pretty hard to climb the latter to success in hell. they live in a shitty apartment, which is livable 'till the exterminations.

in pt 2 im gonna write a bit about the exterminations and how readers financial instability led her to this unfathomable "relationship" with Vox (maybe idfk guys jioewu4fkbj).

vox reallllyyy manipulated reader into being with him. keep in mind, he had observed her for a while non-stop, he knew that readers living situation was a sorce of insecurity in their life and knew exactly how to use that against them. most of the things that vox does are meticulously planned to get what he wants in one way or another.

if reader hadn't accepted his deal, oh he fs would've force-hypnotized them into being with him.

i had a whole scenario written out where that happened actually, but i thought it wouldve been more interesting if Vox had manipulated reader to show off the power dynamics between the two. yeah reader thinks vox is fucking crazy but what were they supposed to do? Vox could easily get them to do whatever he wants anyways, hence the non-con that would have occurred.

i got a wee bit sick to my stomach writing out that sequence and how gut-wrenching reader felt afterward so i scrapped it bc omg i wanted to barf ajwhdajd.

anywayssss

guys if u have ideas for this lil mini series please collaborate w me becauseeee idk what im doing LMAO. any ideas for part 2 are greatly appreciated and im happy to hear your guys' thoughts and theories.

ok bye

[thechanbaeklibrary]

Fic Search #26

1) anonymous asked: Hi babies, could you please help me find a fic? I really can't remember the plot but bbh was friends with dks and they were like each other's families and there was a scene in which baek called kyungsoo over the phone and after he hung up, jongdae appeared behind kyungsoo letting us know that they had sex. I think kyungsoo was adamant on having a relationship so at first they didn't tell bbh about them. I can't remember anything else ;-; pls help

2) anonymous asked: Hi lovely admins! I’ve been looking for this fic it seems to be a wolf au where chanyeol is some sort of a king and baek is some sort of a queen? I cant remember much but there was a scene where baekhyun is pregnant and the pups (even when its still unborn) were so powerful that their enemies were under a trance? And they were on the knees just hearing baeks command? Thank you very much for reading this!

Inevitable by skynet

3) zesamani2 asked: Hii, do you know this fic where baekhyun was a model and he had a scandal (i forgot what it was) so his friends told him to make a bigger scandal so the fans will forget. So he kissed chanyeol in front of the camera and later on chan got mad cause baek was using him I lost it unfortunately

4) moonofzuly asked: Hey! Can you help me find this one fic that i read a long time ago but can't remember the title. I can't remember much but in the end chanyeol (or was it baek??idk :( wears red beanie and asks baek to wear one too if he likes him or smth and they both wear it another day at uni. That's all i can remember i hope you'll help me find out. Have great day!!!

5) anonymous asked: Looking for a one shot I read recently! It was about roommates Baek and Chan where Baek had a crush on Chan but he thought he was straight. Chan brings home three girls (from rv I think) and Baek joins in for an orgy. Baek gets pegged by one of the girls. I've looked everywhere but I can't find it on AGF or AO3. Could possibly be a tweet fic as I also read a lot on Twitter. I would be so happy if you could find it!

Tweetfic by @/stay_up614

6) anonymous asked: hi! I’m trying to look for a fic I read once! EXO was kind of a small criminal/drug group, and it was based on their Kokobop personas. Baekhyun was the ringleader and I think the idea was that they were on vacation to escape from the police. Chanyeol was his subordinate and in love with Baekhyun, but he knew it was only sex. One line I remember super clearly is Baekhyun saying “Just a little longer. I want to feel what it’d be like to be in love with you.” It was really feels-heavy ;-; thanks!

7) anonymous asked: Hi guys!! Do u know this fic where Chanyeol is a prince who fell in love with his servant and so he had sex with her but his parents want him to marry prince Baekhyun so he does but after that, the servant came back with a baby and Yeol thinks he’s the father so he asks Baekhyun to leave... thanks guys for helping

The Bonding by yousexypanda

8) anonymous asked: Hi, could you please help me finding this fic? The fic was still on-going but it starts with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo married or dating. But, for some reason Chanyeol felt like something was missing about their relationship. Then, Chanyeol remembered that someone suggested him to download this app or go to this website (I think). There he created a virtual boyfriend which was Baekhyun. In order, for Baekhyun to be human, Chanyeol must pursue Baekhyun until it reaches 100% love. Please please help.

9) prinuibe asked: Hello,,, finally i catch the ask box open after centuries of waiting,, anyways could you please help me find this story of chanbaek centered (have other pairings too), but the only thing i remember was kai is yeol's friend and soo is baek's, kaisoo is actually married (arranged)but soo hates kai, it's college or hs au, and they all come from rich family, helppppppp Oh, i love this blog, i love you admins for doing this wonderful recommendation blog, hugs and kisses, lots of it

10) angie-pkm asked: Hi! first of all thank you so much for all the work you guys put in 💕 I'm looking for an old fic, 2014 or earlier, I'm pretty sure it was on live journal but it might be aff. It was really angsty and was a disbandment fic all I can remember for sure is that the author stopped writing it because she spooked herself when she wrote about kris leaving before he actually did. Thank you!

11) anonymous asked: helloooo!! thank you so much for your hardwork admin-nims T_____T anywayssss, do you a fic where chanyeol is a mafia and baekhyun was brought by force (baekhyun was given to chanyeol by the boss mafia) and sehun kept on flirting with baekhyun. kyungsoo is the only tolerable "friend" that he has

Tweetfic by @/johannababe15

12) anonymous asked: do you know the fic where cy was betted to date bh and bh was a nerd. i think bh waked into a cafe and saw cy telling people how ‘easy’ bh was. thanks for your help!

13) anonymous asked: There was a fic posted i think in late 2018 on ao3, it was oneshote about basketball player cy who live with his bf bhh and he have to travel for a gameplay but bh wasn't happy about it because he wouldn't get daily sex does and he refused to watch porn so he comes up with idea of filming one and so he asks cy to film himself while bh suck him off and when they fuck. However when bh wakes up he found out that cy was filming him the whole time also i remember cy throw bh's porn magazine or smthn

thanks to @shimoshim0 , @verinchen , @justwanttobefreelikethewind, @firegodjrr  for your help!

[sunshinez]

16/02/2021 14:32

hii friends... i'm back again. sorry i've not really blogged recently; i totally forgot and have just been mentally unstable if im being honest. right now im sat in bed, with my pyjamas, watching glee in one tab, a roblox tab of tower of hell open and then im writing this. i straightened my hair today! first time i straightened it in 10 days. to think i used to straighten it every day.. where did i get the energy? i noticed my roots are coming in now too which sucks but, it was inevitable lol.

my rooms a HUGE mess right now. i really have to tidy it soon. but once again, it's just finding the energy/motivation to do so.

oh! my computer cut out 3 nights ago. i freaked out but my mum took a look at it the day after and fixed it.

i decided to start a diet yesterday. so far i've been good. i had 2 slices of bacon, some beans, a potato scone, an egg and a slice of buttered toast. it was good! i actually just finished a coffee i made. maybe should've skipped the whipped cream. but the breakfast was only like.. 450 calories! and it filled me up alot, as did the coffee i just had. im really just feeling crap about my weight. i can't remember the last time that i felt good about myself, just when i think i can't feel any worse i always manage to. at least when i was like 16, i thought my face was fine. now, i hate it more than my weight. i wish i could get some sort of surgery without getting the surgery if that makes sense. auckkkk. but yeah, right now i'm trying to focus on the diet and then maybe if im good all week ill order a takeaway on saturday! i was watching this woman on tiktok and she was showing her dominos takeaway she got and omg... i was just DROOLING! If I only get one takeaway a week then I would think i'm able to afford that.

i've been thinking about moving alot this year. of course im planning on moving to edinburgh with tara and tymon in the summer. taras mum anjali is thinking of just buying an apartment for us and then we pay her rent every month, which in fairness would be a much more ideal situation than just renting it from someone we don't know. I really feel like when I move i'll come out of my shell. I'll be able to do what I like, and i'll be in the city I love most.

ah, and i forgot to say ; i'm gonna make my own bucket list! i know there are a few things but i've never actually written it out, so once i get back from safehouse i might get started on it and make it all cute. i remember one of the things on my bucket list was to drink out of a red solo cup. thankfully i can cross that off now! i know it might seem like a silly one but i feel like thats something so simple yet quite monumental. or maybe not. idk. ANYWAYSSSS... i've definitely been rambling on for far too long. i'll finish up here.