matthewdward

[turtletoria]

the krampus incident from the book of bill if it was out of character and stupid

[disgustingtwitches]

MDNI

Working at a restaurant with 141! (pt. 3)

"All of us under one roof? Have you lost the plot?"

Gaz snorts, all of you sitting at the bar. You shake your head. The thought alone makes you dizzy.

"Just me and you is hectic enough."

Gaz stares at Soap. John laughs, sipping his scotch. You think for a moment before taking your shot. Wait a fucking second. You joke about how they have decided to make your flat nothing short of a base, and if they're gonna be at your place more than theirs they should at least pay some of your bills. They freeze. Johnny nearly jumps for joy, grabbing your face and kissing you,

"Smart fuckin girl. 'N' if we're paying 'er bills, might as weel move in aye?"

That is not what you meant.

"Who knows, maybe it'll stop them from trying to drag 'er in the walk-in."

John shrugs. They cannot be entertaining this bullshit.

"Doubt it."

Simon shoots back his glass. There's a pause. They look at each other. Oh my God they are entertaining this bullshit.

"I'll think about it."

Price finishes his drink. They talk like you're not even there. You're horrified. Four men and you. One apartment. Not just any men, them. Maybe this is all some sick joke.

"You can always say no."

Simon kisses you before you hop out his car. You're not sure if you believe that. Your phone buzzed in the middle of the night, it's the group chat. Soap sends a link to a three bedroom flat,

Thoughts?

Three dots pop up.

Ok.

Simon replies. That's the only they blessing needed to move forward.

Hectic does not describe the move-in process, there are arguments on who's furniture gets moved in, who sleeps where, who gets to use which bathroom. Eventually there was a vote held (not that it mattered, John always had final say).

Anything big enough to accommodate the five of you was moved in. There would be a bed rotation, making sure no one slept with Ghost and Soap at the same time (and if everyone got tired of their shit, there's three beds for a reason.) Gaz and Soap shared a bathroom upstairs, you shared the one downstairs with Ghost and Price (this made sure you and Kyle had enough space for both your skincare products.)

You barely wore your own clothes anymore; with a closet full of clothes that were comfy and looked good on you, why bother? All your love languages included physical touch, so at any given moment, someone was touching somebody in the house. Lots of shared showers to "save water". Simon mostly cooks with the occasional help of you or Johnny. Sunday roast meant the kitchen was off limits for everyone except Simon, God help anyone who even tries to step foot in his territory.

Holidays are chaotic, always loud with a lot of drinking. And sex. Your first Christmas together was particularly memorable. Of course everyone got gifts that they treasured, including you. But you didn't know what to get Simon. Of course he was the type to say he didn't want anything but, that wasn't right. He opened his gift from you, he stared at it, said a simple thank you and slid it into his pocket. There's a game of poker being played in the living room after gifts are opened. Simon leaves to the bedroom,

"M tired."

Everyone else says goodnight, too enraptured by the game. While there's an argument about Johnny's shuffling, you walk to the bedroom. There he is, cranking the little handle on the wooden music box you gave him; it played Danny boy, wasn't bigger than the palm of your hand, and had an engraving on the inside lid.

"It's the words on the first hoodie you gave me."

"Mhm. Didn't have to get me anything."

He says, still turning the handle. Avoiding eye contact. You sit next to him.

"Don't know if you know how much you mean to me, promise I'll show you though."

His voice the softest you've ever heard. He tucks the box back into his pocket. A quick kiss to your forehead before walking back to the living room with you. This was one of the many holidays Simon didn't have to spend alone anymore.

[sgt-tombstone]

the comedic potential of Simon Riley’s middle name being John is unparalleled

He doesn’t tell anyone at first, but it’s definitely why he calls Soap “Johnny” and Price by his last name or rank only, because it’s weird that two of his teammates have the same name as his middle name

When Gaz finds out, he’s livid. The 141 is 75% John; he can’t fucking get away from them. Price points out that his name is actually Jonathan, thinking he’s being helpful (he’s not) and Johnny thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world

Simon seriously considers a legal name change just to keep the peace; he’s always loved the way John Riley sounds, but the ring in his dresser will make sure he hears that particular combination for the rest of his life

[brairslair]

a/n: pov i can’t stop thinking about giving bucky barnes head! but like, in a sappy romantic and fluffy kinda way ! <3 not proofread

18+ ONLY (minors dni)

please feel free to like, comment, reblog, and follow to support my work! it always makes my day xx

You leave feather light kisses along his skin, trailing your lips closer to where he needs you. Neither of you dare to break eye contact, feeling safe in each other’s gaze. As your affections move their way upward, so do your hands, taking your time to cover every inch of skin you can reach until you meet the hem of his boxers. You watch him closely, scanning for any sign of discomfort, delicately gliding your fingers beneath the elastic waistband. With a flick of his tongue, you pull them slowly down his thighs, and a shaky sigh leaves his lungs. You smile.

You want tonight to be about Bucky. Your sweet, selfless, wonderful Bucky.

You want to show him all the love in the world and more, and you want to help him understand that he deserves every bit of it.

You delicately wrap your fingers around the base of his shaft, gently squeezing before licking a long stripe up the side. His eyes close momentarily before opening right back up to look at you. You can tell by the way he’s eying you that he’s trying to soak in every little detail.

You’re sure your pupils are in the shape of hearts.

His breath wavers as you wrap your lips around his tip, gently swirling your tongue around it before experimentally licking the slit. His shiny lips part in a gentle moan, breathy and light, and you feel your confidence boost when he relaxes further into the bedding.

You continue swirling around the head a few times before you take all of him. You slowly sink down, watching his jaw drop lower and lower, until your nose brushes against his skin. You watch him through watery eyes, glowing at the way his head lulls back. His breathing picks up, letting out sweet little sighs as you start to pick up your pace with it. You already feel dizzy at the sight of him, lips parted and chest heaving, glistening with a thin sheen of sweat.

You let your tongue flatten against the underside of his length, heart squeezing in your chest when you notice his fingers twitch at his sides. You intertwine your fingers with his, placing his left hand on the top of your head. The warmth of your skin against his grounds him.

Your unwavering eye contact is all he needs to know that you’re okay with him touching you. He’s allowed to touch you like this.

It’s just him and you.

His cool mechanical fingers tangle lightly in your hair as you continue your ministrations. You can tell when he stops himself from being vocal, and you squeeze his hand to reassure him that it’s okay. That you want him to feel good. You want to hear him.

The closer you bring him to release, the more relaxed he becomes under your touch. You’re sure to keep your pace nice and steady; Just enough to gradually bring him over the edge. You want to make sure he feels it in his bones.

His moans are soft, gentle sighs, and groans, and whimpers of your name tumbling from his lips. You hold his hand through it all, never looking anywhere but at him, even if his eyes need to shut for a moment or two.

You can tell he’s right on the edge when his hand moves from your hair to cheek, gently holding you still with “I love you” falling from his lips. He happily lets you take him apart and put him back together again.

my asks are open!

[rotthepoet]

More Bsf!theo

Pt 2 where he sneaks you into his common room too talk bcs your still friends but when you fall asleep on him and everyone questions it he's just very smug

Im a little bit obsessed with bsf!theo 🫣

Everyone knows to leave you and Theodore alone when you have common room gossip time. Theo is a sassy Italian man, and you are a sassy you, and together your side eyes could send a grown man to his grave<3

So lets say you’re not a Slytherin, not a problem. Theo’ll dress you up in his spare robes and pronounce you an honorary Slytherin for the night. And no one dares question him. The green robes help with the narcs(prefects) trying to do their jobs, but Theo will pay off anyone who tries getting in the way of the two of you hanging out.

If you are a Slytherin, no worries, but it’ll be harder to separate you two. Practically conjoined at the hip, in class together, in the dining hall, and its not even the littlest bit suspicious because you’re both in the same house! Duh! (Its really suspicious, rumors are spreading like wildfire)

Nevertheless, it’s really not uncommon to find you and Theo chatting on the couches in front of the fireplace, or even tucked away beside one of the stained glass mirrors looking into The Black Lake. You’ll sit there for hours on end running your mouths, playing chess, or even just sitting in comfortable silence as you both work on schoolwork. Theo’s friends may come by time to time, eyeing you suspiciously, glancing back and forth at your every micro-expression. Blaise and Lorenzo have a 10 galleon bet on whether or not you’re exclusive.

When the hangouts lead far into the night, when the fire burns until it’s nothing but embers, when the last prefect had been paid off to leave you alone, Theo feels adventurous. He gets handsy, his lips attached to your neck, warning you to keep still and quiet.

“Wouldn’t want us getting caught now, hm?”

He lets you squirm against his chest while he stuffs his hands into your robes, playing with you. He’ll whisper sweet nothings in your ear, humming about how obedient and sweet you are. He’ll talk you through orgasm after orgasm until you’re shaking and begging him to stop in a quiet, broken voice. He’ll lick his fingers clean of your cum, tracing his warm and wet hands under your shirt to rest on your stomach.

He just wants to hold you. To feel you. Theo craves skin-to-skin contact. Helps him to ground himself, to focus on shoving down and stomaching the feelings fluttering in his heart. It always comes back up, and he often bites his tongue to stop the word-vomit from falling from his mouth. To stop himself from ruining everything. To stop himself from losing you. You’re just a friend. A friend he sleeps with. A friend he wishes would hold his face and tell him he’s loved. The feelings never stay buried for long, and Theo’s learned to accept that.

So, while he forces each confession of love down, he traces soft circles into your skin, humming a song he remembers his mother used to sing when he couldn’t sleep. He doesn’t move when you do slip into peaceful slumber, and he won’t move until you wake up again. It would be unfair to stir such a lovely thing.

Naturally, as all good things must come to an end in Theodore Nott’s life, his jaw clenches when Mattheo walks into the common room, quite loudly I must add. He walks with a stupid smirk on his face, sitting down on a chair opposite of Theo.

“Really? Nothing going on here?”

“Not a thing.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

Don’t get me wrong, Theo and Mattheo are like pb&j. Best friends since the beginning. Theodore knows everything about Mattheo. And Mattheo thought he knew everything about Theo. He doesn’t like this secret-keeping.

“I would tell you if there was something, Matt.”

“Really? So you don’t care that I overheard someone saying he was going to ask them out?”

Theo looks down at you, still sleeping in his arms, stomach still wet with the mixture of your own arousal and Theo’s saliva. In that moment, you were completely Theo’s, and no one could take you away from him. Not now. And nothing else matters right now. Not when you look so happy. Not when you look so comfortable. Not when he knows no one can bother you while you sleep in his arms.

“Nah, doesn’t bother me.”

[charleezard]

Wishing everyone a very happy Pride month!!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Also wishing every Jewish person a double happy Pride month. I know we're going through a hard time, and many of us won't be able to attend Pride events irl, especially the people who look visibly Jewish.

Personally, it breaks my heart that I haven't been able to go to Pride events that I've been going to for years. But either I go as fully myself, or I don't go at all.

Lastly, it's been an amazing experience and an honor helping organize our own Queer Jewish Pride month. I hope I can make it as positive and memorable as possible. Any moment I'm helping the Jewish community find joy is a moment I am truly proud of. You have all given me so much, and I hope to be able to do the same for the rest of my life.

I love you all, happy Pride month and Shabbat Shalom 💜

[whumpasaurus101]

“Do you miss me?” The hero croaked. Their voice was rough as sandpaper, throat bobbing with the lump in it.

Villain scoffed, not even looking back at their nemesis. Their feet kicked a previously discarded cigarette.

“It’s alright to miss me, I-“

“What are you talking about?” The villain growled, their head whipping over to glare at Hero, “I’m more than fine that you’re gone- in-fact, I’m bloody better than I was when you were here!”

Villain hated how perfect Hero looked. Absoloutely perfect. The wind ruffled their hair just right. The city seemed to just be… quiet for a moment.

The hero slowly stepped forward, leaning down and picking up the cigarette. They held it up between the two and spoke, “This… is not better… Its okay to miss me… I miss you too…”

Villain hated themself for the pain that burnt in their chest as they watched the illusion of Hero fade.

They felt the empty space, the hollowness of what once used to make them a whole.

Their hand dug into their pocket, their fingers digging into the cigarette box as they flung it out into the city under them.

I miss you too.

[toads-treasures]

"You touch me like I am everything you asked god for. Underneath your hands I become poetry. This is the alchemy that you do."

—T. James

These two would either have the fanciest, the biggest the sappiest wedding Waterdeep has ever seen, or they would have the DND equivalent of a Vegas wedding. Maybe I’ll draw that version later.

[heartofjasmina]

hi, jasmina. as usual, i don’t have much for shameless saturdays, but here i am. i hope you’re doing well. <3

i’ve been dwelling on kiri and his fuzzy tummy chub. it’s so perfect and soft and snuggly, just like the rest of him. he’s a little self conscious about it and doesn’t really know how much you’re truly in love with his tummy. he thinks it’s cute when you snuggle up to him or shower him with kisses. he grins and blushes a little when you see him shirtless and tell him how attractive he is as your eyes fall onto that bit of pudge covering the massive wall of muscle he is underneath.

no, it doesn’t sink in fully until one day when you’re on top of him, riding until your thighs shake. he eventually takes over, and your hands go straight for his soft tummy. you can’t help it, running your hands over him and gently grabbing at him as his hips snap into yours until you fall apart yet again.

also lowkey dreaming abt age play with kiri but nothing special rly. you can ignore that if you want. 💀

Held into this cause whoo boy, but also I'm always happy to see you in my inbox even if you don't have much to say--

He starts to get the hint after that. Especially when you're regressed, cuddling into him with your head on his tummy and telling him, "daddy's cuddly."

He smiles as he plays with your hair, his heart melting as he finally accepts it as true. You don't mind he's a lil pudgy. In fact you pout whenever he mentions working out to get rid of it.

It's hard for him to let himself he loved as he is. Outside of what he can do as a hero.

But every day he gets better at believing you.

[glitchyko]

As of today, the Madoka Magica spin off game, Magia Record, has closed.

I have to be honest, I have issues with various aspects of this game, but I still loved it greatly. Madoka Magica is one of my favorite anime ever, and when it was announced Magia Record would be getting a NA server, I was ecstatic. I preregistered for the game, and I was there from beginning to end of the NA server. Magia Record was a huge source of fun for me, I loved so many characters, I was invested and curious about the story, and I had a great time with the gameplay.

So when the NA servers were announced to be shutting down, I was hit pretty hard. I had so many memories and feelings with this game, and now I wasn’t going to be able to play it anymore, but there was nothing I could do about it. Before I uninstalled the game, I took screenshots of every single character I had, to remember all I had gotten, screenshots I still have to this day.

But even after the NA servers shut down, the community came together to pick up where everything was left off, I am so grateful to the amazing people who would take time out of their day and work to make videos of transformations, attacks, translations of arc 2, events, quotes, etc. It’s because of the efforts of these people that even if I couldn’t play the game anymore, I could still connect with the characters and stories I have grown to love and I could not be more grateful. And I’m sure it’s the same for many other fans.

The story of Magia Record has ended, but the memories and feelings I share with it will always be there. Thank you for everything, Magia Record!!!

[pseudophan]

dan gay

[u3pxx]

[bad omens] here take these scribbles before i get dragged back to (college) hell— ah crap here i go again [gets dragged back

[steveharringtonsstrugglemeals]

Ok, based on this post about a bunch of college dudes putting up a craigslist ad for a "BBQ Dad" to attend their backyard barbecue:

A No-Upside-Down AU where the Party is in college, freshly of legal drinking age, and they decide to throw an end-end-of-year backyard barbecue bash. However, as a group composed primarily of hardcore nerds (many of them lacking in paternal figures), they're not exactly the most qualified when it comes to top-tier grilling. More than that, they need someone who can bring the 'it-factor,' someone who can work a crowd and really get the party going. So naturally, Dustin claims, the logical move is to put an ad out in the paper.

Robin is the one who finds it — she buys a paper every day, reads Nancy's articles, then skips to the funnies and the advice column and finally the classifieds. Obviously she has to show Steve — c'mon, he'd be perfect! Steve can work a mean grill, he listens to dad music, he yells at sports on TV and wears khakis... He may only be pushing 30, but Steve has the energy of a middle-aged father-of-three.

Steve is embarrassed, but he's never one to turn down one of Robin's dares, so he writes a reply. It's not like those kids are actually going to respond to him anyway, they're probably looking for someone older, a real dad. Right?

The Party proves him wrong (for the first time but not the last) — they call him almost immediately and officially invite him to the barbecue. And Steve is a sucker who can't turn down such a nice group of kids, so the next thing he knows, he and Robin are loading his grill into the back of Eddie's van and headed across town to the shabby little house shared by Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and Max.

(Eddie, by the way, is a grad student and friend of the Party's. He may be a 'real adult,' but he has no BBQ Dad vibes whatsoever and he downright refuses to be caught dead manning a grill.)

As far as the Party is concerned, Steve is the 'prophesied-hero' of paternal figures. He's the stuff of legends, the kind of father (in spirit) that all dads aspire to be. He shows up wearing khaki shorts and a polo shirt. He brings not only his own grill and grilling tools, but also a sun-powered radio already tuned to the local baseball broadcast. He calls the Party members 'kiddo' without a hint of irony on his face, and has the lamest but most contagious sense of humor they've ever heard. Just standing next to Steve (and what name is more dad-like than 'Steve'?) feels like shooting hoops on your driveway until the sun goes down, or washing the car as an excuse to hose off on a 90-degree day, or getting picked up after soccer practice, dirt-stained and weary, but happy down to the bone. And yes, his burgers and brats really are that good.

Naturally, Dustin immediately takes credit for finding him and doesn't hesitate to crow about it.

By the end of the evening, they've already made plans to throw another barbecue in a few weeks. Steve quickly becomes the official Party Dad, an inseparable member of the group. He doesn't just do barbecues either — whether they need a reliable ride, some sage advice, or a necktie tied, Steve is there for his kids.

[starstruckodysseys]

play it by ear fandom i love you.

and i know i say that a lot. but it’s always true. i think it gets truer every time i say it, actually. i love creating this world with you guys from the ground up. i love that you’ve all helped me reignite my passion for writing, especially fics. i love making our goofy little headcanons about characters nobody knows and rambling about ships between characters that never meet. i love how supportive you all are, how it’s helped me get over the fear that what i say is stupid and stop overthinking sending my little messages. i love how this feels like a community more than a fandom. i don’t know if that makes sense, but it’s true.

i love u guys <333

(unless that is too strong for u in which case ur very cool <333 )

[nyoomfruits]

for the kiss prompts: 30 for norrix please?

30. kiss for comfort

They take different routes back to the hotel, after Zandvoort. Martin hates it, knows Lando hates it, but. It’s for the best. It’s to protect their peace, protect themselves. Just until they’re ready.

(And Martin’s been feeling it, recently, creeping up on him. The urge to show Lando off to the world. To say look, look this one is mine. I love him. He loves me. We love each other. It’s not the right time yet, but soon. Soon. And isn’t that horribly exciting?)

So, separate cars, separate journey, separate tracks back up to their hotel room, until finally, finally, together again.

Lando shrugs off the hoodie he’d draped over his shoulders the second he steps into the room and walks straight into Martin’s waiting arms, tucks himself there like he belongs (and he does).

Martin pulls him close, holds him for however long he needs, lets Lando breathe out a little shakily against the collar of Martin’s hoodie, presses a soft, comforting kiss to his forehead.

“Hey there, race winner,” he says, and he would be embarrassed about how proud he sounds, maybe, but like. It’s Lando. Martin’s pretty sure Lando knows how gone he is for him.

Lando pulls away, grinning. His eyes are still a little red and small from the champagne sting, and his hair is fluffy from the shower. He’s the most beautiful thing Martin’s ever seen. “Multiple race winner,” he says, beaming. “God, I can’t believe you could actually be there this time.”

And it stings, a little. He knows Lando doesn’t mean it that way but. It still gnaws at Martin, that he wasn’t there for his first win. But he also knowns that way madness lies, and there’s no use on dwelling on the things they miss out on because of their busy schedules. It’s better to focus on the moments they do get. Like this one.

“Technically a home race, too,” Martin says, to lighten the mood, points between them, wiggles his eyebrows.

Lando laughs, shakes his head. “You’d have to put a ring on it first, mate,” he says, as he walks over to their suitcases, starts picking through the selection of clothes.

“Don’t call me mate right now, oh my god,” Martin says, following after him, notices Lando is firmly searching through Martin’s suitcase instead of his own. He doesn’t comment on the ring thing, but he can’t help the little bubble of excitement he gets at the thought.

Lando makes a triumphant little sound and pulls a worn hoodie out of Martin’s suitcase, gleefully pulling it over his head, only briefly getting stuck inside it.

Martin smiles at him, proud and fond and so incredibly in love. Rings can wait. For now, he has this, and it’s already more than he ever thought he’d have.

[askchilchuck]

Hallo meester Chil of the Chuck

I come with an offer

💵 one dollar

or

🪙 weird looking coin bug that is for some reason gray

Hold on, let me see it. Interested, he looks the “Coin Bug” over.

I think it’s just a normal coin. Where did you get these…? I hope you didn’t pay money for them…