#sorry this got long but AW
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
chloesimaginationthings · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
FNAF movie Mike meets Jeremy Fitzgerald
6K notes · View notes
14dayswithyou · 7 months ago
Text
💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
Tumblr media
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
Tumblr media
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
Tumblr media Tumblr media
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮‍💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
2K notes · View notes
wilddwcrds · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
vissers aren't raised with fear. but esje's sits uncomfortably in her lungs, restricting her quiet breaths as she looks across to the camp. the quiet doesn't help her uncertainty, a constant question of her capability in the back of her mind. and yet, she doesn't think she would trade any of it for the world. since being reunited with other members of the pack, esje is certain she's never been freer. it's bittersweet for her, desperate to find adrie and cas yet dreading the day if it comes. back to having to fight for a thread of independence. she wishes her senses could speak to her at times, tell her if her brother and sister are in the camp she watches so closely. will all of this be worth it, she wonders. and if they are here, what happens next? she's back to being the youngest grimm, watched with cautious eyes like her bones are made of glass.
loki's voice and touch stop her thoughts from descending any further and she has no choice but to look at him. a smile lifts at his encouragement, but slowly esje shakes her head. "i know i am but you all have...years." her eyes shift to the other wolves, all granted the right to be fighters. "i do not want to be a risk." she mutters in a determined tone, moving her glance back to loki. her own hand raises just as his lowers, fingers catching against his for a brief moment. but she trusts him, and his words about visser spirit resonate. she has that in abundance, and she knows it. a soft snicker escapes though, knowing exactly who loki's comment is aimed for. "hij is niet zo slecht. hoe lang is het nu? jaren?" an outsider becoming beta, even if temporary, is never something she thought she'd see. but he's lasted this long and that's a testament to something. either to ruben's capability, or the war. she isn't sure which.
loki can speak so certainly of things that used to be alien to her. it's in part why esje has been drawn to him. to live vicariously through his tales, take his adrenaline as her own. "i will be right beside you, make no mistake of that." she laughs slightly, giving him a sure look. "do we have a plan if we are separated? any of us?" and if it comes to it, esje is determined that it isn't her again. she looks to the camp again but not for long as loki's question follows and her head is shaking in a quick no. "why would i be? you said yourself. i am ready." but esje's hand moves to her chest, wanting to beat loki to the comment. "i know you hear it. it is excited, promise."
Tumblr media
@wilddwcrds loki x esje - idk somewhere watching the holding camp dec 31st
-
Impending conflict charges the air. A crackle of tension, a shiver of anticipation in the night’s frost. Loki’s senses sharpen to his surroundings, his whole body morphing into a snarling hound that strains at the leash. He’s lived so long like this that the fire in his veins is barely noticeable as he sits in serenity, but keen eyes are locked onto prey.
The holding camp looms before them while they lurk in the shadows of trees, and suddenly Loki can feel Esje’s trepidation as if it echoes in his own chest. His gaze shifts to her, studying the way she’s mesmerized by the camp. Subtlety has never been his forte, and their unspoken bond has long since transcended formalities. Which is why it’s all too natural for his hand to take a gentle hold of her chin, tilting her head so she looks at him. “You have trained every day. You are ready.” his head lowers into a solemn nod, letting go of her face with a caress of fingertips before he glances briefly to the other wolves with them. “Visser spirit can not be taught.” he adds when his attention pulls back to her, a smirk forming as it’s obvious who he speaks of. It’s his duty to follow Alpha and Beta, but it doesn’t mean he can’t have opinions. Ruben is a strong wolf, but he seems clumsy to Loki. Like a pup still growing into massive paws.
“This will be an easy fight.” another glance to the camp, where movement has slowed thanks to the howling snow and plummeting temperature. “Just stay by me, you will be fine.” he speaks not to her but he doesn’t need to. The previous months since finding her, despite riddled with violence and danger, have been a blessing to Loki. Not a single interruption from meddlesome Grimms. Having Esje to himself is a reward, he thinks. A gift that he isn’t ready to return. “Are you scared?” Loki asks as if he can’t hear the thumping of her heart, but he predicts that she’ll insist otherwise.
Tumblr media
10 notes · View notes
acesammy · 1 year ago
Text
The thing about how sam’s arc in season 4 is often discussed is that people simultaneously acknowledge that the angels are bad, while claiming Sam is an idiot for rebelling against them.
like I have listened through three (3) rewatch podcasts and they always seem to fall into this loop of going ‘hey the angels are Obviously up to no good’ while also going ‘Sam is really stupid. Why would he trust a demon when literal angels are telling him to stop’
idk man. Maybe bc the angels are Obviously up to no good????
179 notes · View notes
oh-no-its-bird · 5 months ago
Text
Someone said Hokage Tora and now I'm thinking about what would need to happen to make that a reality.
Ok so we're gonna shuffle the Hokage's and their timelines around.
(Also note: at this point, Tora very sympathetic to the Uchiha bc of his relationships w Shisui Itachi and Sasuke)
So Sarutobi dies and people are going "oh noooo someone go and get Tsunade back"
And Tora gets PISSED.
They want another Senju to have the hat?? Are you fucking kidding him??? 2 in a row was bad enough but 3 sets a standard. Choose literally anyone else! Anyone!! Fucking Kakashi would make a better Hokage!!!
And then he stops.
Hmmm. Kakashi as Hokage.
That... wouldn't be too bad, actually?
Long story short: Tora starts to campaign for Kakashi as Hokage.
Kakashi does not appreciate this. Stop immediatley.
Tora is on the civilian council at this point (at the terrifyingly young age of like 17) and lowkey has them under his thumb. So he's able to get them all aboard, meaning Kakashi is officially civilian approved.
The Uchiha are into it to, with him lowkey being the closest they've been able to get to the seat since fucking Madara. He has one of their eyes, he's lead/taught both of the clan head kids, and hes visibly, publicly close to multiple Uchiha/Uchiha sympathizers (Itachi, Shisui, Tora)
He's the yodaime's student which gives him major points in the politics department, + he actually knows what it is like to be in the life of a Hokage, he has seen and been involved in that life firsthand
Hes also on good, personal terms with a few clan heads and solidly neutral terms w the other clans
His clan is innofensivley small (read: fucking wiped out) so there's no concern with biases of a guy coming from a specific clan, working w a bias for that clan
Perfect candidate!!
(Something something Kakashi quietly touching his eyelid and mumbling to Obito that he guesses he'll be able to show him even more of his dream than even he'd expected)
Danzo tries to intimidate him into not accepting it and while Kakashi does agree that he would be one of the worst options, the conversation kinda... leaves him a little less sure he'd really be the worst option.
Anyways, Kakashi as the godaime hokage!!
He hates it.
Tora Shisui and Itchi have to hunt him down the day of his ascension and fuckin wrestle him on stage (he's gonna go home and scream into his pillow later)
How would Naruto canon change with Kakashi as the Hokage so early?? Until this point, the au has mostly been sticking to the script (minus the Uchiha massacre) but this is a HUGE status quo change for a character decently central in the cast list, and it's a change that'd impact just about everything going forward! Don't ask me how exactly because I know very very little about the actual specifics and events of canon but holy shit it'd sure change the course of history, huh? If you wanna get really down to the nitty gritty technicalities, we could take serious liberties and kill off and or save several characters with the simple explanation of "different Hokage, different people assigned to different missions"
Anyways:
Team Ro gets to be his personal guards,, they need a replacement for the team since Kakashi left, maybe we can throw in someone else to join them and add some more chemistry in there
I don't think it'd be anyone on team 7 (I don't live in a world where I can see Kakashi tossing specifically THEM in ANBU that young, no matter how more powerful or better taught than cannon, sorry) also conflicting interests w THREE uchiha on a team or the Haruno siblings. Also, Naruto is Naruto, so. *political noises*
Actually the slot is a very valuable one since they're basically Kakashi's special little guys (anbu eddition) so it's really hard to think of a character that'd even conceivably be put on it. (Part of me wants to add Neji for literally no reason other than I suddenly want him in the AU but that'd bring a whole mountain of implications with him if Kakashi chose HIM specifically to join his personal guard + he's suddenly in ANBU, what??)
Wait would Kakashi even choose the replacement personally.
Wait wait ok. Record scratch. Rewind. Let's try this again.
So. With Kakashi's promotion, Tora gets to he team leader. One of the first things he's told is to find a new replacement for the team
"Shouldn't you do that yourself?" Says Tora
"You've got me to take the hat I refuse to move so much as a single fucking finger more at your request." Says Kakashi, who then delights in bodily removing Tora from the room via the window.
I don't know Neji's actual age but for the sake of this fic he's suddenly Tora's age or only a year younger (Tora is like 17 at this point)
Him and Neji do not get along!! At all!!!! Actually it was kind of hate on sight.
Uhh insert montage where they become grudgingly almost friends but still mostly frenemies
Neji is very talented and Tora is frustrated by how he seems to be being "held back" in some way. Like, he doesn't like the guy! But damn if he doesn't know how it feels to have the system itself fighting you, no matter how good you prove you are and how hard you work.
Anyways, Tora finding out Neji was skipped over and denied for different promotions or smthn bc hyuuga second class or whatever.
And him going "hmmmmmmmmm...."
He hands Kakashi a form with Neji's name on it and Kakashi signs without even looking.
When he scowls and asks if he's even going to look, Kakashi just gives him a dry look.
"Like I dont know whoever you've picked won't be for whatever plot you're cooking up next. Just don't set anything on fire where I can see it and I don't care."
A very, very confused Neji is suddenly told he's not only going to join ANBU but also the Hokage's private guard.
Hey Tora !! What the fuck !!!
They have one of those "You don't even like me??" "I don't have to like you to want to see how far you can go." moments
Queue Neji angrily revealing that it doesn't matter "how far he can go" or how many opportunities are afforded to him bc his limits are fuckin branded on him, and shows Tora his seal mark
Hey Neji !! What the fuck !!!
Hyuuga reformation arc,,,
Ok so not sympathetic Hiashi Hyuuga but like,, rational (deeply fucking flawed) person Hiashi who is able to leverage the "Neji has been ordered to work directly the Hokage" @ the Hyuuga clan elders to at least slightly loosen the seal on him.
TONNS of political drama in the Hyuuga house w Neji being chosen for such a huge position, but w the complications of "they can't fucking voice it outloud" bc ANBU identities are supposed to be super top secret, so it's kept to the really high ranks only
(There's an AU of an AU out there where instead of stopping the Uchiha coup, Tora went "ok but are they wrong tho", decided to help instead, and got the Hyuuga lower cast to join them)
(Look he wants to reform the government, right? Ok so why SHOULDNT he support an attempt to rip it up by the roots?? The Uchiha want equality but Tora wants reformation. They do not know what they just let into their homes.)
What the fuck did I come here to talk about again?
Right, sorry, Hokage Tora
Uhhhh pivoting again here we go ->
So Kakashi is Hokage!!! And he !! Wants !! Out !!!
Tora is a very very clear contender for "the next Hokage", even early on in Kakashi's career. He's basically the guy who MADE Kakashi Hokage (both arranging it and forcing him to accept) and most important people know it.
I'm ngl I kind of don't know how exactly we'd get to hokage Tora.
Maybe Kakashi is temporarily taken out of commission and he's just the obvious replacement. Maybe we do a proper Hokage switch and promote him when Kakashi got the job in the original. Dunno! But Tora for Rokudaime all the way !!
If not Tora I think Rokudaime Neji could be suitably dramatic and fun. Also has similar themes of "rising from the lower ranks against the odds" and just in general tons of interesting implications both politically and like,, character interaction wise.
Everyone expects Tora for the next hokage but Tora decides he likes being the powerful guy in the shadows to a Hokage who knows both how to listen to him and how to lead with a strength and surety he can trust. And decides Neji is apparently that guy who has the leadership and wisdom he can trust.
Callback to the earlier moment where Neiji, voice cracking, goes "you don't even like me."
And Tora gives him a smirk and goes "I don't have to like you to want to see see how far you can go."
Mmmm actually I think I like that ending best, it has the most weight to me. Like, yeah Tora as Rokudaime is cool and a kind of ironic "full circle" moment, but Neji as Rokudaime has that gut punch energy that will leave your skin buzzing and your eyes tearing up with written right
Have to get going but I might try to draw that scene tommorow if I find the energy in me after work (doubtful tbh)
I love a good call back through dialogue in different character defining moments that leave you pointing at the screen shrieking "HE SAID THE THING!!"
49 notes · View notes
strangersatellites · 1 year ago
Text
pride, envy, sloth, gluttony, greed, lust, ao3
Seven Deadly Sins Series (NSFW 18+)
wrath (noun): uncontrolled feelings of anger, rage, and even hatred. wrath often reveals itself in the wish to seek vengeance. in its purest form, wrath presents with injury, violence, and hate
cw: rough sex, unhealthy relationships, blood, unsafe sex, choking, slapping, dacryphilia, angst (????) on accident, probably more tbh they genuinely fucking hate each other in this universe
This thing they’d had going on for three months now really had started off fun.
It started out soft and sweet. Stolen kisses in the back of The Hideout, quick, messy blowjobs in the backseat of Steve’s car, booty calls late at night when one or the other couldn’t sleep.
He can’t really identify what went wrong or when. All Steve knows is that the butterflies that he used to get when Eddie came around have turned and twisted into something sharp and heavy. Now when they’re within earshot of each other it's all biting insults and low-blows.
Somewhere along the line, the happiness that Eddie planted in his heart morphed into bitter resentment. But Steve’s nothing if not self-sacrificial, and the sex was too good to give up. Who is he to deny himself of the only good thing Eddie has left to offer him? So now he finds himself shoved into bar bathrooms and left high and dry, bruises mottled up and down his chest and dark bags under his eyes from a fitful sleep. Somehow he’s convinced himself it's better than nothing.
On nights where he can’t shake the memory of Eddie’s lips on his and his heart fluttering pretty and soft, he goes out. 
He goes out to a seedy club and he finds someone that he won’t remember the name of in the morning and he tries anything to clear his mind. Nothing’s ever as good.
Tonight he’s found himself a few beers deep and tracing water stains on the bar top at some place he’s never been just outside of town. He’d spent the last ten minutes or so talking to a guy that looked like he’d show him a good enough time. Dark, curly hair cut so that it flopped down into his face, pretty blue eyes that went a shade darker when they looked Steve over, and a shirt cut low enough that Steve could see ink swirl across his collarbones in vines and leaves. 
Steve thinks his name is Adam, but he wasn’t really listening and still really isn’t. He’s found that a few soft laughs and hums while guys talk is usually enough to feign interest long enough to coax them to a bathroom. 
This guy, Adam maybe, is about two seconds away from dragging him there himself, he can tell. It’s written all over his body language. Steve smiles his prettiest smile and flutters his eyelashes.
But as soon as he opens his mouth to purr something like “Do you want to get out of here?” There are strong arms snaking around his waist and teeth scraping at his throat and Steve’s blood runs hot in an instant. He’s well-accustomed to it no longer being a good sensation.
Steve shoves his elbow back with as much force as he can muster and it all goes red before he even hears his chuckle.
“Strike out again, Harrington? I made it just in time then, huh sweetheart,” Eddie coos in a tone dripping with condescension.
He’s on his feet and shoving at Eddie’s chest with enough force he knows it’ll bruise, sees it knock the wind out of him a bit. Gets right up in his face and would do anything to rip that self-satisfied smirk right off of it.
“You miserable fucking prick,” he spits, uncaring of the way Eddie flinches back the tiniest bit. “I was not striking out, and I never am! And yet here you come acting like you’re saving some damsel in distress when it’s you crawling back to me. Every. Single. Time,” he punctuates with jabs to his chest. 
Eddie’s smile doesn’t leave as he huffs a laugh. His tongue swipes across sharp, sharp teeth and he leers at Steve with narrowed eyes. Predatory in a way Steve liked once upon a time but now makes him want to punch out his teeth. He’s got his hands in his pockets and he looks entirely too comfortable with the fact that he just ruined Steve’s night. Again.
“God, sweetheart. You’re so wound up,” he whispers, face pinching up in faux concern. He brings his hands up to smooth down Steve’s biceps and digs his fingers in tight enough that he doesn’t budge with Steve’s attempts at shaking him off. “Tell me. When was the last time someone fucked you good enough that you remembered his name the next morning, now be honest.” He leans in close and that smirk is back and Steve hates it. “You can say it was me, honey. It’ll be our little secret.” 
And Steve’s seeing red again because he’s right. 
It was him. It’s always him and probably always will be. 
He gets back up in his space once more and makes sure he’s looking at his eyes when he whispers a sharp “Fuck. You.”
And it's only for a split second but he swears he sees hurt flash through brown eyes. Gone in an instant and replaced with a real, raw indifference that Steve thinks might be worse. 
He feels a hand at the back of his neck and Eddie’s lips brush his ear. 
“Yours or mine?”
And it was always going to go like this. Steve’s not under any illusions. Knew this time wouldn’t be different. But it still stings the way that he knows in an alternate universe that question might’ve been accompanied with giggles and a kiss. 
But then he remembers the way that Eddie looked so proud when Steve first said he hated him and the rage is back ten-fold.
He turns on his heel and knows he’s being followed.
“Yours. Don’t want you in my fucking house.”
*****
Steve’s got Eddie’s wrists pinned to the wall above his head and his teeth raking down his neck. Wants to leave a mark. A memory. 
He hears Eddie gasp as Steve’s hips shove hard against his own and he shoves harder in retaliation.
“Remember when you used to kiss me?” Steve asks, Eddie’s breath against his face enough to pull some bricks from the walls he’s spent months building.
He feels more than hears Eddie’s hum. Feels his knee come up to shove him backwards until he’s the one pressed against the wall, face turned sideways and arms pinned behind his back.
“Yeah sweetheart.” He leans in to bite at Steve’s ear and make him hiss.
Steve’s grinning, ugly and mean when he grits out “Worst decision of my fucking life.”
But now Eddie’s the one smirking, he can hear it when he speaks. “Mine too. Liked my life a lot better when I didn’t know what you taste like.”
Steve aims for the shin when he bucks a foot backwards, nails it if Eddie’s grunt is anything to go by. He spins around and shoves at Eddie hard enough to send them both to the floor, grateful for a second the fact that his muscle mass makes it easy to manhandle his way into what he wants. 
He laughs, loud and fake. “Now see, that I just don’t believe, Eddie.” He’s got his eyebrows raised high and pout on his lips and he knows what’s coming and he relaxes into it.
And yeah maybe Steve’s strong, but Eddie knows him. Knows when his guard is down. He gets his knees up around Steve’s hips and flips them over, Steve’s back against the ground and there’s the fury Steve’s been after. Been trying to bring it out all night.
Eddie’s got a ringed hand pressed tight against Steve’s throat when he finally lets himself feel. Feel good the way only Eddie can make him. Lets the fight drain out of him as his vision goes spotty. Eddie’s spitting words in his face, “Do you ever shut the fuck up?” and saliva into his mouth and it’s so bad-good.
His next breath is heaving as he comes back down and Eddie’s already standing and walking away. 
“Get up. I don’t have all night.”
And now that he’s got Eddie mad, got him fired up, he knows he can let himself go. Lets himself fall even though he knows Eddie’s not going to catch him. Thinks it's worth it until it's not. Until tomorrow when he remembers the way he and Eddie won’t look at each other when their friends are around. They way they don’t talk.
Because this is how it's always going to go. He’s going to let Eddie rile him up, make his sharp, heavy butterflies flutter out in words he thinks he doesn’t really mean. He’s going to push and push and push until Eddie breaks. And even though he started it, Eddie always will. Break, that is. He’ll break out of his self-assured, indifferent asshole persona and he’ll turn into something real and mean. Someone that hates Steve back. 
Steve thinks it shouldn’t feel as good as it does.
There’s nothing gentle about the way Eddie stretches him open. The way he smacks the inside of Steve’s thigh hard enough it leaves a welt the shape of his hand. 
He’s got two fingers inside him and Steve feels so good and he can’t help but talk. Head thrown back, words fall from his lips between desperate moans. 
“Hate you so fucking much.”
A smack to his ass and a dejected huff. 
“Yeah. I know you do sweetheart."
Steve groans in annoyance but his back arches all the same.
“Hate it when you call me that.”
And he’s not looking but he knows Eddie is rolling his eyes. 
“I know you do, baby.”
And there’s tears pricking at the back of his eyes because sure he really does hate this man. Really does think he’d have been better off never meeting him. But all he can hear when Eddie calls him “baby” is the way he used to say it through laughter against his skin.
He knows he’s pouting but he thinks he deserves it with the bitter memories he’s fighting away. “Hate that even worse.”
Eddie pulls his fingers out and crawls up his body to squeeze at his cheeks until he fishmouths.
“I know. Now shut up and stop crying. You wanted me mean and you’ve fucking got it baby.”
Steve gasps high in his throat when Eddie grabs him by his hips and flips him onto his belly and something about this flavor of anger Eddie’s wearing sets Steve off again. But this time his anger isn’t a facade. It's raw and real and it's hurt that got brushed aside and became something else entirely.
“Hate what we could’ve been. Hate that I hate you.” He says into a pillow.
He hears Eddie groan and not in a good way. In the way he does when he’s annoyed. He feels his weight lay over his back and his hand on the inside of his thigh yanking upward and open.
“Well I hate that you don’t know when to stop talking." He grits out and the pressure as he presses inside Steve is enough to make him white out.
By the time he builds up a bruising rhythm, punching Steve’s breath out of him on every thrust, he’s talking again.
“Could’ve given you everything you wanted sweetheart,” and his tone is so patronizing, “But it just wasn’t fucking enough was it?”
And Steve’s barely holding on to his consciousness through the pressure deep in his guts and the hand pressing the back of his neck down, down, down. But he’s still got enough wherewithal that that strikes a chord.
Because no, having Eddie behind closed doors wasn’t enough. And Eddie knows that. He knows how that hurt him and chooses to use it against him anyway.
His voice is muffled into the pillow and broken up by whimpers and whines but he speaks anyway.
“Well it wasn’t my– shit, so good. Wasn’t my pride that got in the way.”
Eddie’s hips slow to a deep grind and freeze pressed to the hilt.
The hand at the back of Steve’s neck slides to the front and yanks him up on his knees, pressed against Eddie’s chest.
His chest is heaving where its plastered to Steve’s back and his voice rumbles through them both.
“Maybe not. But it was you that kept your mouth shut and made it my fault.”
Steve goes to argue but gets cut off by the sharp stinging of teeth breaking the skin against his shoulder blade. His breath goes ragged on a shriek and his vision whites out around the edges. Eddie’s shoving him back down, ass-up and face smushed sideways. His hand slips up and pries his mouth wide open and shoves in hard, stopping anything he could possibly say. Steve’s eyes are wide where he’s staring, gone glassy and wet.
“And it looks like now you don’t know how to do that, do you baby?” He asks.
And he’s got his fingers down his throat and his dick shoved deep.
There’s blood dripping from his teeth in that sharp, bitter smile. And he’s so pretty. And Steve hates him.
He chokes around his fingers on a sob as Eddie picks up his pace again.
Hates that it feels so good.
Hates that he comes back for this.
Hates that Eddie’s right.
Because maybe he can’t pinpoint when or where things went south, but he knows it has everything to do with the way he started needing more and not asking for it. Knows Eddie was letting him figure it out on his own. And instead of just going for it, he knows he started blaming.
So maybe he does hate Eddie. Hates him for the way he didn’t push him when he knew he needed it. Hates that he still uses him like this. 
But he really hates himself. Because he could’ve had what he wanted but he didn’t take it.
(Hates that tomorrow he’ll forget this all again, too far in his head and in the feeling of Eddie taking what he wouldn’t give. He’ll forget it all and go back to hating him again.)
A sharp smack to the outside of his thigh brings him barreling back down into reality and it's Eddie’s words that send him hurdling into release.
“Here you fucking go again with the crying. God I hate that you’re so fucking pretty.”
Steve hates that that’s what does it for him. Hates that his crying is what does it for Eddie. Hates the way he’s filled up and will have to go home messy, the way Eddie pulls out of him and throws him his clothes.
He hears the flick of a lighter and Eddie’s heavy inhale from far away.
“I assume you can show yourself out.”
As Steve pulls his shirt over his head and wipes the tear tracks from his face he thinks “Yeah. This is why I hate him.”
And from the other side of the room Eddie thinks that if Steve would say half of the things that run through his mind with Eddie inside him, maybe they wouldn’t hate each other at all.
138 notes · View notes
anotherpapercut · 21 days ago
Text
I am incapable of distinguishing left from right so recently I got L and R tattooed on my hands and earlier this week I went to the doctor and the nurse was gonna take my blood pressure so he asked for my left arm and my dumbass raised my right arm and the dude was so nice he said "oh sorry did I say right?" and I had to be like no. despite having it tattooed on my hands I still can't tell left from right
17 notes · View notes
bluegekk0 · 3 months ago
Text
Augh the last few days have been rough and it feels like it's only getting worse. I hope things get better before my birthday, just let me have one nice day after all this, please
11 notes · View notes
dxxtruction · 5 months ago
Text
I am kind of not seeing Armand wanting to kill Louis. This would be far too out of character for me to ever beleive. I'm thinking he was doing whatever he could to live in his definition of survival, or at least doing all this to maintain his bubble of control. The whole coven was against him, and I do legitimately believe Armand was oblivious due to love. Then when push came to shove he did make his choice, he did rehearse and go along with the play despite his feelings and his wants. Not out of character for someone who's used to being needless or same that he flood with emotion the moment someone [louis] actually cares about his needs. Or maybe more believable is that this plot - some version of it - started way before his feelings were ever real and this was a choice of following through with it. Under threat likely, him still not realizing the extent of the coven's desire for bloodlust. Him, maybe being misled to believe they'd hold off long enough to let it go if Louis was proven to simply stay with him. Maybe if it was his idea to begin with, and in this scenario he'd at least have been there when this was being thrown around, perhaps he really thought his power and ruling would dissuade its reality. And then the ball drops.
He didn't want to kill Louis, is my point. If he did he'd have done it way sooner, and he wouldn't have let him exact any kind of revenge. Though Claudia, Madeleine, I could see, but I also don't think by the time they're running off together he would want the alternative either. If anyone wanted this it was the coven. So, it's not a matter of wanting to Armand but choosing to do this despite that. The real question therefore is: Why would he choose to go forward with it/go along with it? That's what I think we need to be asking.
Is it that he makes the choice that he does, because it's easier to submit than rise up? It is because the choice really wasn't a choice at all? Was it practical to him? Don’t run to one thing when this other thing is guaranteed to stick around? Was he in too deep to back out by the time he thought it mattered whether they live or die? Much can be delved into there. Trying to figure out why he wanted it isn't going to bring up anything.
11 notes · View notes
master-kohga-dating-sim · 15 days ago
Text
new subnautica playlist ✨✨✨
6 notes · View notes
ltcdrmcgarrett · 2 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Unnecessarily big gifs of Steve McGarrett [13 of ?]
131 notes · View notes
kob131 · 3 months ago
Text
Hot Take about Pokemon below. Just letting you know so you can scroll by.
There is barely any difference between 3rd games and DLC in Pokemon. Both add in new content, bring back old Pokemon as a selling point and are made to make up for the fact that the original games are betas they sold. The 3rd games may fix more but they still effectively sell the SAME game twice...thrice actually.
The only 3rd games that geniunely have a reason to exist are BW2 by virtue of being sequels. They actually did something new and didn't just repeat the same game but with polish and fixes that would have been implemented if they spent another year on the games.
Pokemon has been cutting corners and selling incomplete games for decades now. SV is the tipping point where they couldn't cover it up anymore. Acting like modern Pokemon is uniquely bad about this instead of it just being where it was the most obvious is kind of depressing.
Proof: Emerald fixing the Gym Leader teams to not be awful and Platinum's...everything.
7 notes · View notes
boxwinebaddie · 3 months ago
Text
heeeeello party people!~ super bacteria uncle nina here using my silly tumblr to cope again ( my culture came back and it was...suuuuper fucking bad! like i knew it would be, lol! awesome! <3 thanks, god! )
but we're not thinking about, what were gonna think about is the time that ravenstan got a little Too tipsy topsy turvy on jerseyky boxwine,
( it's the cab sav one, fyi. i can't drink on all these Fucknut Antibiotics - they prescribed me the wrong one and i took it, if you can believe it; i luv doctors - can y'all believe i did this shit Sober? unREAL, brohs! )
and was on tiktok live, the dawn spawns of the world convinced him to do the 'White Boy Of The Month' filter bc he's too impressionable and what can i say;
The Man LOVES White Boys. ;) xxx
( helpsksdj )
so, he started doing it and was like 'nooooo, is /KYLE/ on this one?!?! You're Joking.' ( everyone said 'JK <3' because they all think they're jimmy valmer stand-up sit-down comedians, smh...but no, naught joking, Actually JK bc in my ncau-niverse, cd and the blondies gang are celebrities, so naturally they’re on A Lot of social filters )
so he was GOING to save The No.1 slot...for the no.1 slut ( if you will, ) my ginger gringo king, ceo of dark academic debauchery and bottom feeding ;), new jay's finest - literally - kyley b matthew broflovski; <33 ( buuuut! he's a reformed manhoe; so watchya mowtH! )
buuuuut x2 ( and i'd say it's a big butt, but it's not, it's ravenstan, so it's flatter than the sidewalk; luh you flat stanley ) Gaydhd Won Again and tipsy ravenstan got distracted by all the FINE ASS WHITE MEN and started getting philosophical about it ( that man put a lil too much #thot into those placings; he was born for it, soz )
had about two spots left ( the top and bottom spots; i am laughing ) figured that there was almost 'No Chance!' he would get jersey...
PUT /MATTHEW! GRAY! GUBLER!/ AT ONE ( Immaculate Taste, btw! he also put jacob elordi at number two because he is a fucking genius and that...really tells you Everything you need to know about my stan. like tall, could probably be a runway model, intellectual, kind of a jackass, stays fitted, accent or eccentric manner of speaking...yeah )
-- BUT HE WANTED TO BE CLEAR, HE HAD TO SPECIFY THAT HE WAS SPECIFICALLY REFERRING TO /DR. SPENCER REID/ OF CRIMINAL MINDS. WHEN I TELL YOU HE HAS NO IDEA WHO MGG IS BUT HE HAS SEEN EVERY EPISODE OF CRIMINAL MINDS SEVERAL TIMES. IT’S LIKE...HIS /FAVORITE/ FKN SHOW. AND HE DOES HAVE A FAT CRUSH ON REID. YES, I DOES TRACK; I KNOW. )
and RIGHT when he was rolling for the very last spot ranking on the filter ( that's the BOTTOM, i repeat, THE B/O/T/T/O/M of the tierlist )
...hE GOT KYLE
FUCKING
BROFLOVSKI
and had to place him at /TEN/.
-- riiiiiiight as Kyle /FUCKING/ Broflovski came out of the kitchen in the dorky ass star of david apron that sheila got him for hannukah, with his hair up and everything, holding a fork so stan could taste...
...T-THE PASTA HE JUST MADE HIM FOR DINNER BECAUSE HE'S A SWEET BEAUTIFUL /ANGEL/....and i'm talking The Very First Bite Of EXTREMELY DELICIOUS KYLE Pasta that he put ZUCCHINI IN JUST FOR STAN BECAUSE HE IS ( what? ) AN ANGEL!! FROM hEAVEN!!!!! AND THE WHITE BOY OF THE /YEAR/: TAKE YA JERSEY SLANDER SOMEWHERE ELSE: HE'S MY WHITE BUOY UVF FOREVA!
...proceeded to Blow On It ;-;, s-so stan wouldn't burn his mouth... ( bc rav always gets too excited and burns his mouth; nooo :c </3 ) and asked him why his phone was blowing up w/ people tagging him in thirst traps of 'That Supa Nerdy Guy From That One Crime Show' and asking him if stan tweeted something about him cooking bc people keep telling him that he's 'Cooked'. SHKDLDHLKS HEEELP.
And....
*rawr xd home mid/hschooled ravenstan vc*
Scene. <3
#nina speaks#sorry that ravenheadstannon makes me cry laughing everytime and i needed a distraction; he needs to go to jail#like he needs tall white boy behavioral therapy for his BAD BEHAVIOR he is down astronomically bad...i'm...SMHHHH#I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FUNNY PUTTING SCARY SWOLE AF TOPDOM STREET FIGHTER JERSEY KYLE ON BOTTOM IS#LIKE THAT IS SACRIFUKINGLIGIOUS THAT IS WRONG#all to put mgg on top SORRY SPENCER REID HE REALLY DID SPECIFY IT TOO EVEN WHEN JK ASKED IM CRYINGGG nOO#HE WAS LIKE ACTUALLY HIS NAME IS dR. SpENcER rEid!!!#like are u kidding...are you JOKING SUPER BEST FRIEND???#SAY!!! SIIIIKE!!!! and jk thought this was cute bc aw u know his name thats so dorky awh--oH IMMM SORRY!!!! *sarcasm vc*#i dIDNT KNOW HE WAS A DOOOOOOCTA MY BAAAD DOES DOOOOCTAH SPENCA REAAAAAD WANT SOME PASTA?!?!#SHOULD I LEEEEEEEAVE YOU TWOOOOOO TO GO ON YOUR DAAAATE?!?! YOU AN yAAAAAA bOOOOYFRIEND?!?!?#IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM SOOOOORRY FOR THIRDWHEELiN! ITS NAUGHT LIKE THIS IS MY HOUSE OR MY SB BOYFRIEND OR ANYtHIN!! >>>:/#help oh my god ATE THE FIRST BITE OF PASTA IN FRONT OF HIM EVERYONE WAS LIKE OH MY GOD MY PARENTS#ARE BREAKING UP NOOO RAVESEY NATION WE ARE SO DOWN OH MY GOD THE OTHER HALF WAS SHIPPING#REIDVEN#ravenstan tried to explain....He COULD NOT dkhflshfl so bad so funny RIP he was like wow i came home from a long day#of my internship i made you diNNAh and you put me aT tEN???!! ohhh it was so over oh my god rs was like mI AMOR BESITO BESITO BESITOoOOoOo#YOU ARE SO HANDSOME I LOVE YOU YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND SMART AND FUNNY I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS ( has a shrine )#WOWZA THATS SO CRAZY BABY PLEASE DONT BE MAD IT WAS AN ACCIDENT TE AMOOO PLEASE HAVE I TOLD U HOW HANDSOME U ARE ;-;;;;#insane...he still got his pasta too...jail for life...he did redo the filter and did it until he got jk first put him at one and closed it#i cannot believe it also i love cute domestic apartment husband jk he is the best he really is ravenstan Count Your Days#people joking about them breaking up and foreshadowing it...BRUTAAAAAAL! please note mgg sided w rs in the divorce#and made a video saying i love u to him <3 as a joke <3 bUT I KNOOOOOOW JK WAS PUNCHIN DRYWALL AND SCREAMIN#I KNOW THAT PISSED HIM AWHFF SOOOOO BAD OH MY GOD HE MADE SEVERAL MGG HATE ACCOUNTS#AND TURNED HIS STOMACH WATCHING CM EVEN THO HE HATES THAT SHIT JUST TO COMMENT#ON TIMES SPENCER REID WAS FACTUALLY INACCURATE#my chest hurts but i cant tell if its bc of the bacteria or bc i'm laughing too hard so i won help i love my criminal mind <3
7 notes · View notes
rysttle · 1 year ago
Text
Part 13 !!!
Tumblr media
Awww haha i thought we were gonna headbutt a guy but ah well,,,
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
god there is so much green in this one
link to masterpost
76 notes · View notes
running-in-the-dark · 7 months ago
Text
it's been a month since we moved into the new apartment -
I'm so stressed. everything is stressful. we're still not done building the kitchen but it's getting there (slowly). mostly we just need to wait until we get a couple parts that weren't in stock when we ordered the rest. I'm hoping it'll be done by next weekend.
some of it is very frustrating with my brain specifically. I'm so bothered by all the tiny little things that no one else would even notice - like, some of the handles on the drawers are very slightly crooked (as in, less than a millimeter higher on one side) - but for me it's so obvious that it's impossible to ignore. my husband didn't even know what I meant when I pointed it out to him. there's also been a few slightly bigger issues, but we've solved them now (I think).
my eye has been twitching for like three to four weeks. not all the time obviously, but every few minutes. it's very, very annoying.
we still have no new info about when we'll have internet finally. it could take a while still.
on Monday a guy has to replace something in the electric roller shutters in one room - but we don't know which one yet. so either I'll have to let him into my room (awful, uncomfortable, will have to tidy up tomorrow so he could even get to the window), or I'll have to get both our cats into their carrier if it's the one in my husband's room (awful, difficult, one of them doesn't like that so he'll be scared and I'll feel bad).
also on Monday the electrician will install our stove (if he has time). then we're getting two ikea deliveries. and I've got an appointment with my (new) GP because I need a prescription, and I'm very (verrry) nervous about it.
I miss watching TV. I miss tumblr and YouTube and messaging my friends whenever I want and sending them photos all the time. I miss order and structure and (some level of) routine. I miss using real cutlery (we still haven't found ours lol).
when I was finally starting to get used to the noises in this place, the family above us moved in with their baby that cries all the time very very loudly and most of the time right above my room. so now everything is different again and I'm not adjusting well and once again I can't sleep.
but, I've listened to 14 audiobooks since we moved! that's been nice. it was the same way when we moved the last time (just over a year ago..). my favourite by far was The Thursday Murder Club. I've got the other ones in the series but I'm trying not to listen to them too quickly, so I'm gonna listen to three other books first (one is done already, so I should get there on Monday or Tuesday hopefully).
9 notes · View notes
torchstelechos · 2 years ago
Note
Hi I’m curious what exactly do you mean by bingmei being extremely good at communication? I haven’t read sv in quite some time and don’t remember many of his interactions with anyone other than sqq
Tumblr media
Oh goody, I have validation to discuss this! First and foremost, I am studying western communication so I will be doing more general explanations when discussing theories. Second, the translated work I will be discussing is the Scum Villain Self Saving System; Seven Seas Entertainment translation. This is for clarification purposes on examples I will be using to explain what I mean. As for person being studied, I will only be discussing Lou Binghe's (Bingmei for the majority) communication style.
Alright, first off we will be discussing how Lou Binghe speaks to others. This is important because not all communication is *verbal* communication. Going in a chronological order for LBH's communication towards SQQ we see a very specific communication verbal style. LBH uses I-messages (or owned messages) to specifically state how he feels and how he hopes to fix or continue this in the future. Not unusual for students to use towards their teachers, as this is polite to do. However we can see that this continues even as LBH get's angrier with SQQ.
In the very first meeting, SQQ asks how LBH is doing with his cultivation and LBH says, "This disciple is stupid and still...failed to understand." (pg. 30, book 1) which is a perfect example of the I-message set up LBH has. "This disciple" is a statement of possession in his wording, what he is saying is that this statement is true of his own knowledge. "is stupid" is the modifier of this statement and "failed to understand" is the content. Essentially he is purposefully giving a statement that is non aggressive in communication theory of interpersonal relationships. Later, during the carriage incident before the Skinner Demon arc LBH also gives a non-aggressive statement towards Ming Fan "I wouldn't dare" (pg. 53, Book 1). This being another I-statement (added as it is known that SQQ is watching).
"Ning Yingying-shijie went with me to the city's market earlier today, Luo Binghe said. "Once evening fell, I urged Shijie to return, but she refused--then somehow she suddenly vanished. This disciple...searched the entire street once but couldn't find her, and he could only come to plead with Shizun for help."
This is another good example of said I-message use, LBH (even panicked) starts this by explaining the I-message owners (the people who know this info) and says "Ning Yingying-shijie" and "me" in a non aggressive statement opener. By then continuing to explain the situation and modified the information by his own feelings on the matter. By stating that evening fell and that she vanished, he is giving information (content) to SQQ but modifies it by stating that LBH "urged Shijie to return" and "searched" and "plead" he is modifying the information to suggest that he did his best and needs help in a non threatening manner. Another example of this is during the Skinner incident aftermath, where LBH asks SQQ if he may know the reason SQQ used him as bait. Upon given the promise that he would not die, he states, "If this disciple could give up his life for Shizun, it would be an honor." Once again this is a modified statement meant to be nonthreatening in communication theory. Now that we have gone over this era of LBH, lets jump to Meng Mo to explore the Dream sequence verbal communication.
A slight variation from the previous Communication! This era of LBH has made an assumption over SQQ's past actions and now is a tad looser than previous communication events. Instead of being timid with his questions, LBH specifically asks every single question he can to SQQ to verify whats happening and to gather more information. He continues, however to use the same I-mesage format for most sentences towards SQQ. Any and all variation of these statements are towards enemies (Sha Hauling's Demons, and Meng Mo) and when SQQ is harmed. LBH will give more aggressive statements that *demand* information, but rarely does he insult or do anything more aggressive than that in speech. The only times he has done so at this point are in defense of SQQ's life, as at that point he had been under the assumption he was dying. Skipping waaay ahead lets discuss verbal communication in the Abyss scene, as everything up to this point is very similar and does not have an emotional charge to it that would suggest a change in speech.
Noticeably, his speech pattern doesn't change but we get a new message type in this! A you-message are usually aggressive in communication style as you are stating something about someone else that might not be true, however in this instance it is a true statement. Probably implying that LBH would not have stated such a thing if he was not sure of what he was saying about SQQ. He states, "But Shizun, you said before that just as people can be good or bad, demons can be good or evil" which is a you-message with the content being people and demons with modifier being good, bad, and evil. Hes basically using past words to clarify an assumption in this instance, which isn't necessarily a wrong thing to do but there are better ways to ask this. He even continues this by saying, "But you said..." at a later part. Ending this scene he says, "Shizun, do you really want to kill me?" all around this scene is a rather good example of what I mean by LBH being a good communicator! Hes sticking to asking clarifying statements, and using I-messages to explain whats going on. Not only that, but hes not in the wrong for this scene and doesnt know that SQQ is agreeing with him in his mind. (pp. 248-249, book 1).
Lets skip to the next book and discuss the Jinlan City incident. Which I can say with immediate disdain, is when Xin Mo comes out to play in LBHs speech patterns. Before the abyss, LBH used a lot of I-messages and only stated things he knew to be true about himself (what he felt) and what he knew about others (information shared or told to him by said individual). Afterwards, due to both Xin Mo and trauma, we have an individual who uses a lot more you-messages and makes a lot more assumptions about individuals around him. He still asks a lot of clarifying questions/statements however, and even makes some of his more aggressive you statements tilted in such a way that SQQ could deny it.
Examples of what I just said appear in the chase scene: "No, I should say, a relentless hatred towards me." (pg. 54, book 2). and "Does Shizun honestly think that I would kill, burn, massacre cities, and inevitably topple countries just because of that half of my lineage?" (pg. 55, Book 2)
Its also the first time we get something new new from LBH, he starts insulting people in book 2! Towards SQQ he says, "Utter hypocrisy!" which is a major first for a lot of LBHs speech patterns. If he did insult people before this, he did so in a polite conventional way (email style lmao). Speeding up to get to the prison scene, there are more notable moments in the accusation stage where LBH continues to use more you messages to state what he does know about SQQ. This reads more along the lines as a defense, and a way to subtly imply that he wants to make sure he wasn't misunderstanding SQQ previously. As all you message statements he uses tend to be more questioning in nature (unless about how LBH was treated or taught by SQQ specifically).
In the prison scene, LBH states direct facts to LPM (its in a month, what are you doing, etc.) while towards SQQ he asks more clarifying questions about why he did what he did and what he wants. Its only after being refused answers that he reverts back to using more I-messages. "I knew the answer, but I still asked Shizun. I'm so stupid." (pg. 100, book 2) (Again with the stupid comment, it would appear to be a theme).
In the confrontation on rooftop scene, a tad too long for me to quote if we wish to get to emotional bids and nonverbal communication in this post, LBH is spitting mad and Xin Mo is active to an absurd degree because of backlash. This also has an affect on LBH! (something I will continue to point out because I am losing my mind over fanfic after fanfic acting like LBH is always yandere girlfriend mode 24/7. Hes not!!! Its literally Xin mo!!) He states his feelings over his past, and what he felt towards SQQ at that moment in mostly aggressive style communication. This being a lot of yous and a lot of accusation speech. This leads to the explosion and Xin Mo being cleared from LBH. He almost immediately starts using only I-messages again and clearly goes into shock, but he does revert back from you messages at this point.
Ironically, I found that when LBH is talking to himself (presumably) he only uses you messages because he thinks hes talking out what he knows to himself. As such, he does not worry about being polite at all before he kisses SQQ in his dreams. Its only after that he uses an I-message towards SQQ, and its more or a clarification statement. At around this point in the novel we get a healthy does of what a stable Xin Mo carrying LBH, and its someone who uses equal amount of you and I messages.
Going to book 3, we'll just go over his ending monologue/breakdown because. Listen, we're a few pages into this and I highly doubt anyones going to read this far. I feel like Peerless Cucumber absolutely wailing about PIDW latest chapter, this is an absurd post.
Anyway, towards absolute desolation, we will start discussing this segment with "Is that so? But I don't trust Shizun anymore." (pg. 287, book 3). Almost every line in this segment is a picture perfect communication breakdown on what and why LBH feels the way he does in an interpresonal relationship. He specifically states how he feels about SQQ, how this happened, why this feeling specifically, and what this means for them now. He then states how he feels about himself, and why! This is very important, because this is the basis of solid verbal communication. LBH even states how they can continue and how all this can be fixed. Of course, none of this is healthy but hey! It's theoretical good communication, not healthy communication (the major issue I see in this fandom is differentiating the two). It's after this last breakdown that he defaults to I-messages for the majority of the Ridge arc. It becomes more childish as time goes on, I will admit, but Xin Mo is full influence on LBH at this moment in time. It's after the papapa to save the world that we see something interesting, LBH goes back almost fully to just I-message speech pattern. This is notable because this is after everything intense happened and he has had time to think it over. Before now, when left to his own devices and forced to reckon with SQQ almost dying he would revert to you-message centric speech patterns but this is after Xin Mo. Since this is no longer a factor, LBH has taken to falling back towards his disciple era speech patterns. Basically, LBH has begun to take on a healthier and theoretical amazing communication technique because this is forcing SQQ (and others) to acknowledge the scenario and feelings of the matter.
Now getting onto Emotional bids! This is something LBH does almost the entire three books, any and all times LBH has stated "Shizun" by itself was an emotional bid. (emotional bids being an act or word usage to get your relationship pattern to acknowledge you or to showcase that they care about you). It's important to note that LBH's main way of emotional bids is verbal, he almost never goes the physical route for emotional bids. Yes, he does use physical means to make SQQ pay attention to him but this is more along the lines of staying in the conversation than acknowledging LBH specifically as someone SQQ cares for. Its only during the hand holding time that LBH uses an emotional bid in such a way, its also why it hurt LBH a lot more when SQQ seemingly turned away from it. Of LBH and SQQ, LBH uses the most emotional bids and lets SQQ respond to them in anyway. SQQ is, however, an idiot and doesn't notice most of them or actively misreads them. Its actually funny how many times I can count an emotional bid that SQQ ignores in a chapter (more than 10).
Nonverbal communication, ah how I hate thee in this instance, it covers 60-90% of human communication. LBH is more of a verbal communicator but also does use haptics and proxemics to communicate. Touch and distance, he uses these to insinuate different scenes and feelings on SQQ as a whole. Basically, LBH uses verbal communication to clarify but uses touch and distance to set tone for this communication exchange.
Now, what does LBH do wrong in communication? Strangley enough he does one thing very wrong despite the fact that he asks for clarification communication a lot. He mind reads (the act of assuming what someone is thinking) a lot because of the mixed signals he gets from SQQ. SQQ lacks the ability to verbally communicate certain things because of the system, this makes LBH have to decode a lot of nonverbal communication in hopes of understanding things. He fails. A lot. This is fair to him, but this is the main problem that facilitates the miscommunication of the entire series. Both LBH and SQQ think they know the other better than they do, and thus lead to problems when they actually do try to communicate with the other. Frustrating! I know!
TLDR; LBH as a whole is a theoretical good communicator with a slight assumption problem, but I didn't say that its healthy communication :3
57 notes · View notes