#Also the dual versions thing is fucking awful

[kob131]

Hot Take about Pokemon below. Just letting you know so you can scroll by.

There is barely any difference between 3rd games and DLC in Pokemon. Both add in new content, bring back old Pokemon as a selling point and are made to make up for the fact that the original games are betas they sold. The 3rd games may fix more but they still effectively sell the SAME game twice...thrice actually.

The only 3rd games that geniunely have a reason to exist are BW2 by virtue of being sequels. They actually did something new and didn't just repeat the same game but with polish and fixes that would have been implemented if they spent another year on the games.

Pokemon has been cutting corners and selling incomplete games for decades now. SV is the tipping point where they couldn't cover it up anymore. Acting like modern Pokemon is uniquely bad about this instead of it just being where it was the most obvious is kind of depressing.

Proof: Emerald fixing the Gym Leader teams to not be awful and Platinum's...everything.

[mountmortar]

i know this is my pokémon blog but i gotta say it. if you use windows i'm so fucking sorry i don't know how you guys deal with it

[bakersfield-row]

Am a Windows user, have never used anything but windows, am comfortable with windows.

Convince me to linux. Explain

I’m going to keep this short because I could make this infinitely long.

In a world where you really cannot trust big companies, windows has gotten very self conscious that they could track and sell every piece of data from their customer and add unnecessary features and no one would notice it, even though it actually makes the user experience worse. If you don’t have a key, you probably also have to over a hundred dollars just for some basic amenities, like changing a wallpaper.

Linux, in the other hand, is free and open source software (FOSS), which, in its simplest form, means that all the code is there for you to change and revise. Because of this openness, most Linux distros usually never have features to sell your data, and if they do, someone’s bound to make a patch to have that not happen. This means that Linux is much more safe and secure than windows by a long shot, and you really don’t have to worry about your information being sold to dubious companies.

Linux, with all its FOSS-ness, also allows anyone to make theirs distro look anyway you want. For instance, I personally prefer the look of MacOS to Windows (I know, probs controversial opinion). On windows, it’s be a pain in the ass to get it that way, especially without a key, while in Linux you can easily do that with relative ease, as long as you have a guide. Linux is just more freedom, something probably over said but still very true.

There’s other reasons why people would want to switch to Linux to. I didn’t really note that it’s less “bloated” than windows, which means that it has a lot less unnecessary features and thus will run way faster on any computer, especially old ones. Bloat has been kinda a controversial word in the community, since people like to argue that some distros are worse because they have more features. However, no matter what you choose, it’ll probably be better than windows.

The biggest drawback to Linux, in my opinion, is obviously app compatibility. I’ve mentioned gaming before, but that’s something that’s seedy vastly improved over the years. However, some popular apps are just incomparable with Linux, most notably the entire adobe suite and (unsurprisingly) Microsoft office. There’s a couple other things you can do to circumnavigate this.

You can try to find alternatives. GIMP works as a nice alternative to photoshop, Davinci Resolve has native Linux versions, and libreoffice is probably capable enough to replace word or PowerPoint.

You can try to install wine and pray to god it’ll work (though it probably won’t).

You can run a virtual machine and run windows with that, thought that’s not GPU accelerated and thus might be laggy.

OR, and this is the best option in my opinion, you can dual boot windows along side linux, so if you really need to use it, it’s there as an option. If you’re going to do this option, make sure to install windows first before Linux (because of some stupid thing where it erases it in grub or smtn) and that the two operating systems are on separate drives. Also try to debloat windows though guides on YouTube, but know that it won’t be as private as Linux.

Honestly, that’s as much as I have to say about the subject matter. Others are free to add on, since I probably missed a few things. You might not like it at first, but I do encourage you to at least try it. Hell, you might even like it so much that using windows is now alien to you (like me, lmfao).

Hope this helped, and remember, never type “sudo rm -rf /” in the terminal. (Aw fuck, I forgot to explain the terminal. Oh well, I hope someone can explain it to you, and if you get stuck on it there’s always guides online)

[chthonicgodling]

~*Seph's Daughters*~

first - next - last

cranking out Melinoe content as the one person who knew abt her before Had2 comes out - JOAKS,, anyway fr do you too forget all the time that Maci and Meli are half sisters bc OOPS!! though of course Meli's since been adopted by Euriales so -

weeelll for the uninformed, since i dont talk about Meli much here (anymore ah), lets delve into a very long recap<333 for you new people but also for you old people for funsiess – ahem! underr the cut! This is a massive lore dump!!!

FIRST: Melinoe! version: BLANK.  the backstory – 2,000 years ago, she was born the daughter of persephone and ZEUS, who saw an awful "opportunity" when the Underworld royal family was in turmoil immediately following the thanatos debacle and seized it :(( Melinoe was born with two physical souls inside of her, one of them the embodiment of all good and the other the incarnation of all evil, prophesied by Fate to lean one way or the other but ONLY one at a time depending on how she was treated

Her “family”… fuckin ignored this and proceeded to neglect and ignore her for eight solid years – mostly Hades but YES also Maci who 1) is not always the best person im sorry you had to find out this way fjfhfhg but also 2) was heavily influenced by Hades who was manipulating the fuck out of her too so idk I guess she cant fully be blamed??? She certainly should be tho cmonn. The Blank Early Melinoe, while the dual souls inside of her each waited to seize control of her vessel, did not speak (actually fun gross fact whenever she’s Blank shes got no physical tongue fhfhg), or sleep or really do anything, just quietly haunted the palace. Her aura was split down the middle black and white! and then!

SECOND: iiits OrigiMel! version: EVIL. “origiMel” is not a real name first of all its just Melinoe but she is considered the ORIGINALL incarnation of Melinoe hence the OoC nickname to differentiate, by age 8 the evil side of her had had enough and wrested control of the physical vessel and assumed her role as Goddess of Ghosts, Most Evil Creature In the Universe and thus began a reign of terror that would continue for two fuckin millenia. Her aura turning black. She murdered lots and lots of mortals and has done SO many awful things! Shed also hypnotize their ghosts of mortals she killed to serve her as endless slaves and playthings forever. Bc she reached her full powers so goddamn early thanks to Hades and Seph an Maci treating her like shit, Melinoe is forever 8 years old (out of universe this is. Because when I created her 15 years ago I was fucking obsessed with the ring that’s literally it. Self callout ig whatever lmfao) but was theeee most physically powerful being in the entire underworld.

Eventually due to her persistent hatred for Maci and family she focused all of her evil energies on the mortal Maci was DATING 2,000 years later – this of course was Tory – and she terrorized HIM specifically in some really really awful ways, before they got together, AFTER they got together – shes actually a huge part of Maci and Tory's story as their main villain forget about fuckin Thanatos,,, well this all culminated in the absolute last straw when she murdered Tory’s mother :((( in,, front of him,,, , eventually the Elysium gang figured out that by erasing her memories, they could reset her Blank again and give the good half of her a chance to take over, so after she was captured following that murder, Epi and Maci and Tory and Lethe forcibly erased OrigiMel's memory which turned her Blank indeed and then-

THIRD: finally, Meli! version: GOOD. That’s exactly what happened! When OrigiMel’s memory was erased, she was taken in by Epi and Eury (before they had other children, she was their first ,,) who adopted her as their own and cared for her lovingly, eventually the good half of her seized control. This is the Meli of today! She is sweet and kind and compassionate, still eternally eight years old, she has a family who she loves and so many siblings (including Ty and Bel who are her BABY BROTHERS no matter how old they get!), she loves to draw and hang out with her best friends whomst are all ghost children fggkgkh.,, The first thing she did as new Meli was cut her hair.

Meli’s aura glows white – WITH PATCHES OUT OF IT, becauuuse well oh god it’s a very long story but years later the evil half of her briefly escaped and umm killed Epi and eury’s first bio baby Melanie, before she was immortal in utero, tearing her soul to shreds as goddess of ghosts and uh. Aahh. Meli found all the pieces and glued them back together using parts of her own aura :’))) Melanie’s soul was reincarnated into Ty and Bel hence why they’re one split into two!!! Anyway as for Maci and Meli – i guess tbh they never really formed any sort of formal sisterly relationship since Seph's so disowned her and Meli is so completely Epi and Eury’s daughter, but Maci does love her and uh. Is super embarrassed and regretful of allowing all that to happen so. Happily ever after now!

Aaaaand that’s it weeooo. Anyway enjoy these three pictures rffjghjgjhkgggjkfgj i didnt need to write all that if you made it to the end. hi. thanks.

[cursedalthoughts]

PR6 PREDICTIONS - Northern Parliament

Honestly, I am surprised it took us until PR5 to get any Northern Parliament PR. Wargaming does love their imaginary Soviet warships, and they notoriously love shoving them all around the place; so I genuinely expected them to arrive at AL earlier. But no, the first one was Chkalov.

They have a lot of choices, some of them redundant, some of them would make some of their existing ships redundant, and some of them original. I am not going to speculate on which ones could be PR or DR because it's always a 50/50 chance with these.

As always: I would not bet on any of these. These are just the ones I believe to be likely to be added, if we ever get another Northern Parliament PR.

Borodino

A fast battlecruiser with a surprisingly shitty main armament arrangement, and even more awful secondary gun layout.

Borodino has 2 triple 406mm turrets that are almost identical to those found on the Soyuz. She also has 2 dual 180mm turrets on the back. That's it. She's weak when it comes to firepower.

However, where Borodino excells is at bow-tanking (this will be a theme for all Soviet battleships btw). With some clever island cover and angling, you can tank pretty much all damage thrown at you.

Lenin

Borodino, but better, and funnier.

Her turrets (and her rifles) aren't as advanced as Soyuz, they are Vladivostok-type, meaning they are less accurate and the shells are slower. And her side armor is good on paper, but bad on practice.

With her 3 triple 406mm on the front, however (and the middle one being able to rotate 360º), she can fire her 9 very hard hitting shells in a very tight grouping (meaning, with very little dispersion).

Slava

A larger Soyuz with a ludicrous main gun range and an even more insane almost laser-accurate dispersion.

This thing is a sniper. She puts Champagne or Yamato to shame, in my opinion only Satsuma (a Superbattleship variant of the Yamato) is better.

Unlike Kremlin, she has 406mm, but that hardly matters when these guns hit 90% of the time compared to 60% of the time Kremlin fires.

Kremlin

The less accurate half-sister of Slava.

However, she has 457mm guns instead of 406mm. That's more considerable.

Petropavlovsk

A large cruiser notorious for having 220mm guns that hit as hard as Bismarck's 380mm guns (because she is Very Balanced, yes. Balansk). Petropavlovsk is a fast large cruiser with turrets that can all rotate 360º, with radar and hydroacoustic search, that can and will fuck you up if she fires at you.

Oh, btw, get ready for a lot of Soviet supercruisers.

Sevastopol

"But we already got Sebastopol?"

Yeah. Maybe they could add her with a different name, but now she's Sevastopol.

A half-sister of the Kronshtdadt that replaces her 305mm guns with actual, legit German dual 380mm guns. And funnily enough, this ship is more historically accurate than Kronshtdadt (at least from what I've seen). Honestly, I don't know if we could get her as a PR; maybe a gacha UR with a different name due to how historically accurate she is, but I would love a PR version of her due to her gimmick.

She's a zombie ship. She can heal around 50% of all the damage she takes.

Normally, only damage caused by HE can be mostly healed in WoWs, with AP damage being more severe and permanent. Sevastopol works differently, she can heal almost all damage of all types; but her heal ability is very contrived and has to be utilized properly lest it gets wasted, as she only has 2 charges and the heal lasts, like, a minute or two (can't remember). Normal heals last 30, maybe 40 seconds.

Stalingrad

The Ultimate Cruiser Spanker.

The Stalingrad is yet another large cruiser. This one is also surprisingly historically accurate.

She excells at removing enemy cruisers from the map. Her AP hits incredibly hard and has flat shell arcs, meaning it can find the citadel of close-range ships very easily (something American ships don't tend to have).

She has the usual suite of radar + hydro + good AA.

Ochakov

An HE spamming light cruiser that isn't very good at HE spamming.

She has 4 dual 152mm turrets. Her shells are nice and she reloads somewhat quickly, but she only has 8 cannons. Mainz has 12 and takes less than one more second to reload (and has more range). The only good thing about her is the usual Soviet combo of radar + hydro, but honestly, she's irremarkable. Even if I love her.

She would be somewhat similar to Chapayev, but better.

Grozovoi

A sneaky Soviet destroyer oriented towards smokescreens, hiding and setting fires.

I don't play destroyers. I don't know what to say, but I would love her in AL.

[goldeneyedgirl]

Hybrid/baby-verse question: so, I suppose these two fics are some kind of alternative universe of each other, but are they, like, the same fic with a baby in the middle or two different stories that just fit right for the same concept? I ask because I have such a weak spot for hybrid Alice and I wanted to know if the Main Version Alice is the same as Mom Alice (which is also something I didn't know I'd like that much, to be honest). And also, are any of these in your list for ficmas? Because I'd absolutely love to read more of both of these fics!

Hi Anon!

So, Hybrid and Baby-verse are two separate fics with separate plots but in the same universe. It's very much a situation of "if Cynthia hadn't needed a lift home from the res that day, Alice and Jasper would have fooled around without birth control." The plots have a small amount of crossover (Renesmee and the Volturi are players in both), but I wouldn't make anyone sit through the same fic twice. I don't even like writing dual POVs of chapters unless there's brand new information to be presented.

I honestly haven't spent a lot of time on baby-verse yet - I have the OG variations on my hard drive, dot points on this new version that has a unique plot of its own, and what I've posted. Things I've posted can and will still be retconned in the Official Version.

I really, really need to write Hybrid in full to establish the lore, the world-building, and the dynamic between the characters, especially since Alice's family plays such a large role, as well as Alice herself. This is a version of Alice that has lived a hard, inbetween life with dreams of Jasper being her little light of hope. She never knew she was going to end up with her fathers and her sister. (I think my no-good outline for it tapped out at 64 chapters, unfinished? It's unusable, but it gives you the idea of the scale I was working with.)

I like to think that Hybrid Alice as a mom is still fundamentally same character with interests and aspirations and a life outside of her kid. I want her to be. To start with, I avoid Baby Fics like the goddamn plague. I think the majority of them are fucking awful and inherently stupid. Baby-verse only came about because I was on some really fun sleep medications. I don't want anyone to have to suffer through the typical gross tropes and OOC nonsense that we already have plenty of and I myself hate. And second of all, there's no point building on Hybrid-verse if Alice isn't, at her core, the same character.

I think when you write characters are parents, it's really important not to let the kid eclipse the characters and the plot. They still need to be themselves. I think it's also important to note that the story is predominantly about Alice and Jasper. I don't want to spoil anything, but no one is bringing a baby along when there's a Crisis. That's just shitty parenting.

And there's no shame skipping a fic you don't enjoy. I want anyone who reads my stuff to be having a Good Time. I usually have at least 2 fics going concurrently, so when I start to upload this, there will be an Alternative. Even if I am the slowest, most inconsistent updater in history.

There's a strong likelihood that something from Hybrid will show up because I have so much of them. I don't know what, but I honestly haven't finished compiling my list yet and I'm also not going to tell anyone exactly Ficmas will contain because that spoils the surprise.

[shortcircs]

#shortcircs, a cyberpunk dual muse by k (25, she/they). featuring a very specific interpretation of v and a surprisingly canon-compliant version of song so-mi. private & selective. variable activity—when the brain rot arrives, so do i.

rules-wise, please be normal. i have a lot of things i would like to improve with cyberpunk as a genre, as a franchise, and as a game.

general rundowns and blog notes under the cut until i code together something unhinged like usual.

blog notes:

i am, again, cyberpunk critical! i love cyberpunk! there's nothing i love more than high tech, low life! but god are there issues! the orientalism, for fuck's sake!!

i am preempting this because i have a feeling johnny is a popular character. i have one (1) johnny silverhand i trust at @s0ulkillers. i'm sorry but i don't do johnny apologia and i'm mainly interested in how he and a corpo rat of a v parallel and contrast with each other.

i am still playing through the game but like. i know about where it goes. everything's been out for too long.

don't be surprised if i walk in with an unhinged post reworking the arasaka plotline a bit. sorry guys. the way 2020/red/2077 all handle japanese nationalism is fucking bad.

first up, v.

v (she/her) is a little nightmare freak of a guy. ex-corpo rat (it works thematically, listen to me) who crawled her way up the ladder through a mix of 'doing the movie saltburn her own way and basically taking over an inherited corpo rat's position'. intensely capable. chromed out all to hell because when you're on a fairly specific time limit, you might as well worry way less about normal degradation. surprisingly not a netrunner and really good with a very large gun. i'm still writing out everything and i need to bullet point out all the choices later on. also, for various reasons, japanese v matters a lot to me personally.

on the other hand: songbird.

song so-mi (songbird) (she/they) is also kind of a nightmare, but in a different way. she's a netrunner who was scooped up by the fia (think the fbi) and basically turned into a spy because it was that or, you know, everyone you love will be Taken Care Of. on one hand, she was too daring with it. on the other hand, by her late twenties, she'd end up being a walking weapon of mass destruction for the u.s. government. so-mi was ordered to breach the blackwall and engaged with rogue ai on the other side. this has kept happening, and more and more of her body has had to be replaced with cyberware to keep up with the strain. now it's to the point where the rogue ai is basically eating up her memories and destroying her consciousness. she's not well. a lot like v, she is basically fighting and clawing for her life any way she can, including betraying the fia and doing truly fucking awful things.

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

So… what classes do you think the other Pandavas should be?

they could all probably class for basically any knight class anyway but off the top of my head

yudhishthira- he was known for being a master spear fighter (actually known for it, unlike karna) so lancer would make sense (it would track w his awful luck as well.) you could also easily class him as a ruler, both bc he ends up as one but primarily bc he has this whole thing where he’s the only pandava who’s able to ascend to heaven while still retaining his mortal body and was incredibly well known for being virtuous and having high spiritual power. Tbh I could see his younger self prior to becoming king (so dice hall/exile) being a lancer and the older more mature version being a ruler

bhima- berserker lol. Def more of a beowulf type than a lu bu type if you get my drift though-he’s kind to his family, allies and those he has no reason to quarrel with but he loves fighting and will literally never forget a grudge

Nakula- if he wasn’t a dual summon with his twin brother probably a saber? He doesn’t have as much info as his siblings other than being considers the most handsome lmao, but they do mention his skill with it. He also seemed to be pretty good with horses so rider is also a possibility.

Sahadeva- caster or saber imo. He was the (book/wisdom) smartest of the pandavas and also had extensive knowledge of astronomy and medicine, and depending on the interpretation could either predict or straight up see the future, so caster makes sense. Inb4 he’s a grand caster candidate for some fucking reason

I do feel like Nakul and Sahadeva would probably be summoned as a dual unit before being summoned separately, but if I had to say I’d say rider for Nakul, caster for Sahadeva, and when summoned together they class as saber (though we already have two sibling saber duo units lmao…)

[daxieoclock]

Top 5 KH keyblades

ty for the ask! almost all of these are gonna be from Days djhbfgjhb cause that game had the best keyblades

Honorable mention goes to Oathkeeper and Oblivion. Neither of these two are that amazing on their own, they're probably the best of KH1s blades but neither are my favorite in the series, but together? Holy shit, together they're AMAZING. It's like they're made to be used together. Roxas getting to dual wield these bad boys just about broke my g-ddamn mind as a kid, and I was always so sour about the fact that we only got access to that moveset for one boss fight. And back then, we didn't even have the fight against Dual-Wield Roxas, cause it was a Final Mix addition and was still exclusive to Japan.

#1. Myosotis Horizon. This one doesn't have an actual canon name, but it's Xion's final form keyblade in Days. The name itself was something I came up with, and i got david my friend @maverickflare on the name train as well hehehe. As for why I like it, besides that Xion is still my fav character of all time, it's just...elegant. It's got a simple and beautiful design, the color scheme is absolutely gorgeous, and it includes the Nobody symbol in a really subtle way that doesn't distract from the core design. Just...fucking awesome.

#2. Missing Ache. Another of my previous tumblr URLs, Missing Ache is a Days blade that managed to make it into KHuX, and as much as I hate that game for its greediness, absolute horseshit nonsense story and awful awful paper-thin art style...having a mechanic to evolve Keyblades into stronger and cooler-looking forms? That was a fucking genius idea and I hope it comes back in a future game that doesn't suck.

And Missing Ache is one of the best examples, going from gorgeous and simple to an Ultima-contender with tons of ornamentation and really pretty colors. Blue and green were a phenomenal additions to the gold and black color scheme, and I love the way the evolved guards feel like they're opening up and spreading their wings. It's so good. Character development in a keyblade.

#3. Two Become One. Just...look at this fucking thing. It's the Roxas keyblade, and I fucking LOVE it. It's got such a cool base design, with...I don't even know how to describe that guard, it just looks awesome. Ridged and spiked ring. It's rad. And then the blade??? What the fuck even is that!?!? I don't know and I don't care, it's fucking awesome. It's got the cool black and silver dealio, Roxas's chess-board pattern as the handle, and his necklace as the keychain. It's amazing.

4. Aubade. Another Days blade, and this one is probably my favorite take on an end-game weapon in the series. As much as I enjoy the different Ultima Weapons in theory, in practice their designs have always felt way way way too busy for my liking.

5. Lost Memory. This one is probably the worst-utelized blade in the series, and I'm still so grumpy about it. For those who don't know, in Birth By Sleep, each of the main 3 characters (Terra, Aqua and Ventus) start with a unique keyblade, and then near the end of the story receive a "true" or upgraded version of that keyblade. Terra's Earthshaker becomes Ends of the Earth. Aqua's Rainfell becomes Stormfall. And Ventus's Wayward Wind becomes Lost Memory.

EXCEPT IT FUCKIN DOESN'T. While Aqua ends up losing her keyblade near the end of BBS, and carries Eraqus's Masters Defender into the Realm of Darkness, Stormfall is treated as her canonical keyblade, being seen both next to her armor and wielded by her during KH2FM's added cutscenes and secret ending. Ends of the Earth is even more definitive, as it's wielded not only by Terra's Lingering Will during 2FM's secret ending, but also by said will AND by Terra himself during KH3. But Ventus? STILL has Wayward Wind the entire way through BBS, the secret ending of 2FM, and his appearance in KH3. He never actually uses this upgraded keyblade, which is hot nonsense because it looks AWESOME.

[sanstropfremir]

what do you think makes someone have good stage presence? do you think it's something that can be taught or something one just naturally possesses?

i read your answer to the other ask. and re. super m, i like lucas. don't get me wrong. he's very much a hong kong beauty that i love (sm is really missing out by not putting him in more editorials).

but in terms of stage presence, he isn't a standout to me? maybe that's because he's in a group with, in my opinion, two of the best performers (taemin + kai). i put him in the same category as baekhyun. like you mentioned, he doesn't stand out but makes up for it by screaming. but for lucas, he's not the best rapper or vocalist and isn't given a lot of lines.

also, what do you think about nct's infinite concept? this is a bit random but wanted to group together since we're talking about nct members. nct2020 was a whole mess for me (as someone who absolutely LOVED nct2018 concept wise and thought maybe, hey this could work). watching nct2020, it seems... asjhdakjhlgds for a lack of better words. like if i was a member and wasn't taeyong/mark/ten/lucas/doyoung, i would be :/ there's definitely a reason why sm pushes them the most because they're just better in capturing the audience. the other members feel like glorified background dancers.

in my personal opinion, stage presence is how well a performer can convince the audience that they are alive, and that they belong there. the stage is an artifice. it isn’t real, nothing you do on it is real, all performance is just that: performative. a human being’s natural state is not on a large platform being stared at, obviously anyone put in that situation is going to find it difficult to act in a natural way. why do you think people hate public speaking? why stage fright is a thing? those of us that can make it over that initial hurdle of being looked at have dual challenges; we as the audience know this whole scenario is fake; what makes it real is our willingness to be convinced that it is real, and the performer’s ability to make us believe that it is real. a huge part of this is making their bodies move and respond in a way that we recognize. this includes making facial expressions. it also includes exuding the confidence that you belong on that stage. that we should be looking at you. this is no place for timidity or nervousness. yes, i do think this is something you can learn, it’s acting and anyone can learn to act. do some people have an advantage over others? absolutely, it's the same with any skill. are there some people that despite being on stage for years never learn? also yes. i don’t think it's a ‘you have it or you don’t’ scenario, like with all reductivist binary statements, it belittles the effort of the people that work extremely hard to get where they are. this is the fallacy of mozart***; those with a high level of natural talent cannot coast by just that talent alone - a true artist is dedicated to pushing their own boundaries and skills regardless of what others deem you as. no one is born a genius, but we all have predispositions that, if applied cultivation, can become fully fledged ‘genius’ level skills. 

i’m gonna put the rest of my responses under a cut because i got extremely deep in the weeds on that one, whoops.

i can totally see why lucas and baekhyun would fall into the same category for you, that's valid. obviously a lot of how effective someone’s stage presence can be is pretty subjective. my standards have a slightly different skew than the average kpop fan, since my life has been working and making performance for over a decade. yes, lucas doesn’t have the same presence as taemin or kai, and yea he's not the best rapper or best vocalist by far, but i think he carries himself extremely well despite that. he's got advantages from the start; he’s the tallest in the group and he’s pretty, but the few times that he is in center i am absolutely paying attention to him. ‘im the other one chilling with them other ones’? no idea what the fuck that means but i absolutely believe him. honestly i can't even remember any other parts of that song. if sm ever decides to give him more parts i think we’ll see a uptick in his skills. he really knows how to work a camera; his expressions and body language are already really strong and he exudes confidence like an overeager puppy.

i think nct’s infinite concept is ridiculous and a bit disrespectful to the original members who’ve done the lion's share of the work building the brand. obviously i understand why sm did it, when you have an established brand that you can keep plugging new members into you essentially never have to take the risks involved with debuting a new group ever again. plus with nct’s whole.....new culture + technology thing, they’re primed for any of the weird awful tech updates that are inevitably coming in the next decade. no shade on the girls in aespa, i just find the idea of debuting a girl group with overly sexualized ai robot versions of themselves into a world where the boundaries between idol and fan are already constantly violated uhhh...........distasteful. to put it mildly. i also think the concept is disrespectful to the new members that constantly get added in; because they get added into a system that has a clear working structure based on those original members, who are going to be in every iteration ever. because they’re the proven selling points. at least when you debut a totally new group you’re giving those idols a clean slate. any of the new nct boys will never really have a chance to truly establish themselves outside of that context. plus they will forever be plagued by exclusionist stans. if you’re lucky and charismatic and pretty like lucas you might get the chance to get beyond that (he made it to superm after all), but for pretty much everyone else? anon you said it not me.

*** i know this is not actually what the mozart fallacy is. hence the wording change. but as far as i'm aware there isn’t actually a name for this phenomenon so i'm calling it like how i heard it first described, which was using mozart as an example.

[pokemonruby]

all of the least favorite ones. i want to see some violence

oh no, i'm about to have some Opinions™

putting this under read more because there are a LOT of questions --

2. least favorite type

bug simply because i'm not overly fond of them in real life (that is an understatement, i have a full-blown phobia) & i just don't think there are a lot of interesting bug-types in general... with the exception of say, volcarona, leavanny, and golisopod, which are all pokemon i thoroughly like.

4. least favorite dual type

i'm not sure, actually.

6. least favorite trainer

lusamine. i cannot stand her. it's difficult for me to get through the alola games because i have to be reminded of her existence... and recently my hatred of her has only amplified because pokemas thought it'd be a hilarious idea to give me her instead of steven when i pulled for his summer alt. which i haven't been able to acquire TWO years in a row.... the fucking audacity.

but my reasons for despising lusamine are pretty personal. of course, there's also the fact that she's a child abuser which is more than enough reason to not like her but again, it's mostly personal for me.

8. least favorite gym leader

the one that immediately comes to mind is lt. surge and that's mainly due to my overwhelming hatred of the military. also his gym puzzle is stupid.

10. least favorite elite four member

i have beef with lucian because of his stupid fucking alakazam outspeeding me and kicking my ass every single time i challenge him. fuck you and your dumb purple hair, lucian

12. least favorite trial (sun & moon)

i haven't played sumo in awhile so i don't remember the trials all that well... but i didn't really care for any of them that much i don't think.

14. least favorite antagonist team

kind of a foreseeable answer but team flare wasn't that memorable as the entire plot of x/y was poorly executed, especially in regards to its villains. cool hair though.

16. least favorite shiny pokemon

just.... any of the shinies whose color palettes has no visible changes. like why do those even exist... especially for popular pokemon like garchomp it's just infuriating. did they get lazy or something?

18. 3 least favorite pokemon

the only pokemon i "dislike" are the ones i find forgettable or just visually unappealing. like, barbaracle for instance... crabrawler... and then my absolute least favorite pokemon, the one i can say with full confidence that i actually hate is intelion. it's design is so bad and it destroyed my hopes for sobble who i love and care for so much.... like where did it all go wrong. you were so cute. what happened.

20. least favorite pokemon game

let's go pikachu/eevee was so unnecessary i'm sorry... and it physically hurt me to play. like, by the time i was finished with it i was dealing with excruciating wrist pain because of the awful catching system. and really, kanto didn't need it's 5th remake. they literally just made a 60$ version of pokemon go... the only thing i like about that game is the art style which a lot of people actually didn't care for but i found it cute. oh and dressing up your partner + ride pokemon... that was good too. but little features like that can't save the game from its painful boredom and redundancy.

other than that, the upcoming sinnoh remakes may just end up being the firs pokemon games i've ever skipped since i got into the series... which says a lot considering i've been hyping them up for the last five years..... sighs heavily

22. least favorite legendary/mythical pokemon

hmmm ... i guess volcanion just because i always forget it exists. which sucks because it's the only water/fire type in existence. that's such a cool typing. but it just didn't leave an impact unfortunately.

23. least favorite design of a pokemon

intelion is a crime against this universe.

28. overall least favorite generation of pokemon

kanto... i'm sorry, it is boring. the only fond memories i have of kanto are from the anime mostly. i got into the franchise during gen 3, so...

30. least favorite normal type

gumshoos, probably.

32. least favorite fire type

pyroar, if only because i find it a little boring-looking... i definitely think they could've done something more interesting for a fire lion.

34. least favorite fighting type

sawk/throh... they are literally just dudes. i love gen 5 but i have to cross the line somewhere, i'm sorry. at least the machop line looks somewhat fantastical. sawk & throh are just dudes in robes.

36. least favorite water type

intelion :)

38. least favorite flying type

delibird

40. least favorite grass type

carnivine

42. least favorite poison type

ariados

44. least favorite electric type

stunfisk

46. least favorite ground type

diggersby

48. least favorite rock type

graveler

50. least favorite ice type

cryogonal

52. least favorite bug type

beedril

54. least favorite dragon type

turtonator

56. least favorite ghost type

this one was actually a bit difficult for me since the majority of ghost-type pokemon are just... really good. but i guess... misdreavus.

58. least favorite dark type

there's just... something about crawdaunt that i don't like. i can't put my finger on it i just don't like the giant lobster.

60. least favorite psychic type

drowzee and hypno....... i suppose i appreciate how creepy they are but their designs leave much to be desired.

62. least favorite steel type

bronzong

64. least favorite fairy type

MR. MIME. GOD FORBID.

66. least favorite pokemon movie

now i've actually enjoyed the majority of the pokemon movies, i don't think i necessarily dislike... any of them. but if i had to choose, probably the i choose you movie (haha, unintentional pun)... it was just... really bizarre and incoherent. though i will say the animation is stellar and that fucking backstory with the luxray made me sob like a baby.

[lux-talks-a-lot]

New Episode Reactions!!! Pt 1

AHHH, I have so many feelings ya'll!! This episode was so awesome and the art was absoulty suberp! Thomas and the whole crew worked so hard to get this out and it really paid off! I just wanted to run through all the amazing things in this ep now that I've watched it once!

I'm warning you now this is mostly just me gushing about amazing and great everything is because it's very amazing and great! Strap in for spoiler central!!!

First of all the thumbnail is just amazing

Starting off with Thomas being incredibly relatble and awkward, we love to see it!

ROMAN!!!!

VIRGIL!!!!!

I love that this confirms that the sides just pop up in Thomas's day to day life and bully him, it's great

Side notw: I love how the artists drew Thomas in this, he looks adorable

OMG prinxiety poping out the godamn clothing hanging thing to call thomas old makes me very happy

I love that this whole episode is Virgil and Roman bonding, it is fabulos.

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT I LOVE YOU MEANS TO THEM?"

"You told me to say it!"

"STOP PLAYING YOU PEOPLE'S HEARTS THOMAS"

I love this so much

There is a whole lot of lying here but I have yet to spot a single snake boi :(

I know Jan had a whole thing last episode but like... I miss him :(((

HEART EYES ROMAN!!!!! BEING SO GODAMN DRAMATIC!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

"*long poetic description of feelings*"

"What?"

"*SIGH* Cutie at twelve-o-clock."

Prinxeity's dual calling of bullshit when Thomas says he's not interested

WHY IS ROMAN ME WHEN I SEE A CUTE GIRL IN PUBLIC

Virgil pulling fucking boniculars just out of nowhere

"He's got some stickers on his laptop."

"Pretty gay~" *finger gun*

Virgil laying down introvert laws on stickers is great and very true (in unrelated news, I need to buy more stickers for my laptop)

Nico's a disney fan too!!!!

I kind of love that it was the Nightmare Before Chrismas sticker that sealed the deal for them because it's something that's very Roman and also very Virgil

Also how can you not take that sticker as clear sign from the universe that this will end in roman and happily ever afters, I'm with Roman here (when am I not tho?)

"You can live like Jack and Sally..."

I don't why Virgil calling Roman doofus is so funny and dorky to me but it is and I love it. I want them to get along but I want to keep the banter and little insults that don't mean much

"Why forget your spectacles at the retirment home?"

"Those jokes are getting old..."

"You would know..."

I love the gentle bullying

YOU SEE SOME BUTTONS; YOU BUTTON IT!!!!!

PINTERVERTS!!!!

THIS IS WHY I LOVE SEEING THESE INTERACTING!!!!

Seeing Roman and Virgil with the head sets and mics really makes me want to like make a rodio hosts AU, they'd defintly be interesting pair to listen to. Oh! or like a podcast thing or something! I'd listen to it!

Also the backseat driving from prinxiety is great

"I'M NOT MAX! I'M PRINCE ROMAN -"

Also that godamn, you got five seconds thing gave ME anxciety

"great."

"great indeed."

"GREAT INDEED!"

boiled. mayo. carrots. what the heck thomas.

"The only logical next step. Go home and regret everything." Virge, buddy, pal, chill for like five seconds.

"No man!"

"Uh, it's RO-man. With an R? You're really struggling today."

Ro, buddy, pal, princey, never change.

"When it comes to anti-social etiquette, I'm a triple expert. An ex-ex-expert!"

"Easy tiger" This is flirting right? This is defintly flirting. They are flirting!

GAY EYES!!!!

Roman doing the gay eyes and the little noises AHHHH, I'm dying, i'm deceased, my ghost is writing this

Side note: I'm really tempted to become a patron just to see the live action version of this scene alone, imagine my friends, imagine

Gay eyes have never worked for me either

DISASTOR!

"No DO look at youself Thomas. Because that was a test and you failed!"

"You were testing me!?!?!"

"Oh no, I was just panicking."

I love them

I also love all of Virgil's instenseness in this episode because honestly very relatable to my own anxiety but also the art was just really great

 “If you don’t have anything nice to say... you’re a dirty lier.”

God the whole pretend you’re leaving was so funny and gave me such secondhand embrassement, it was so good

“I hate to rain on your black parade, Gerard Gay -”

I missed him and his nicknames SO MUCH

Virgil and Roman literally pulling Thomas around and making him sit and stand is just so funny to me. it’s like Roman and Logan fighting over control of Thomas’s arms

“You’re making a mistake!”

“If I am I’ll add it to the list!”

Oh. My heart. Roman, darling, no -

Again with the pushing, guys

This poor random passerby who got accosted by Thomas’s awkwardness. I hope they had a good day at the mall at least

THE TRASH CAN!!!!

I love that it’s not just Thomas in the trash can but all three of them

This is another scene I would LOVE to see live action

“You were being a baby about the buttons and the pins had you panicking.”

It’s nice to see Roman helping Thomas get clean in the bathroom

“He’s got birds on the brain! You don’t wanna wing it, Virge? Alright let’s drum up a plan!”

I love the puns but I love Roman trying to help Virge feel better about this more even tho they didn’t end up going with this

“It’s like cyber-stalking but real life”

“So... stalking”

“... OH YOU’RE RIGHT!”

Virgil, sweetie, you’re doing amazing

“Speaking from the heart” Patton, buddy, is that you?

THE MONOLOGUE!!!!

“The mall is where you go when you don’t know what you want because the mall has everything...”

Roman’s face at that line really killed me fam. He is going through some stuff, huh

Actually Roman’ and Virgil’s faces during the whole speech really killed me

OMG THE DUDE IN THE BATHROOM!!!!

All those theories about the next ep being Ro & Virge bonding through mutual dislike of Janus were sorta right

Also it’s interesting that Virgil is clearly talking about Janus but is still calling him Deciet

Also generally enjoying the calm Prinxeity team up and discussion for once

“No, he’s better off without me.”

AH no, thomas!

Damn I’m so used to Sides Angst the character thomas angst really hit me by the wayside

GAY PANIC

NICO!!!!!

“HE FEARS THINGS TOO!?”

THE GAY PANIC!!!!

“I THINK I SAW A LOT OF WIDE VOWELS?”

“NEVADA????”

“MORE THAN THAT!”

“ANACONDA?????”

“ANACONDA!!!!! HE’S A NIKKI MINHAJ FAN!!!!”

They are such disaster gays

Mishearing the guy and then instead of asking for a repeat, just going along with it is so terribly terribly relatable but god the second hand embrasment

“another chance at happiness squandered.”

break my heart why doncha ya

 The whole sequence of Virgil noticing Roman being so godamn sad and miserable and watching Nico walk away and his breathing speeding up and the wide eyed panic before he pushes thomas is literally my favorite part of the whole damn video! that wasn’t easy for him to do but he did it. for roman and thomas. so that didn’t squader another chance. he was so brave and i’m so proud of him

I really love Nico! He seems so chill and adorable and he took thomas’s flutered rambling so well! and he’s a writer!!! and he winked at thomas!!!

Mr. Florez!!!!

He’s writing a song!!!!!

The song explanation calling thomas out is kind of adorable

this whole meet cute is kind of adorable

“THAT WAS YOU?” “ARE YOU OKAY?”

brusied ego, aw does that mean Patton’s gonna be taking care of Ro like the last time Thomas got a brusied ego

MY SECOND FAVORITE PART OF THE VIDEO: Ro’s soft little “Shut up, emo” and the little hearts and his hand on Virgil’s shoulder and Virgil’s little smile at him and the whole calling Virge brave!!! It was all so so so good!!!!

End Card Time!!!!!

Thomas calling Roman a punk is adorable

Also Janus’s Corridor Of Stored Rewards!!! Amazing

Everyone coming back all excited and giddy really matched my own excitement and giddiness and I love it

LITERAL SCREAMS OF JOY

Virgil’s purple sparkly eyeshadow because he’s happy is so so pure and amazing and I kind of want to try out that look myself

“Thomas I’m gonna need you to walk around the entire room - yes thank you- that helps somehow”

even more things to project onto Virgil with, thank you

I haven’t seen Virgil smile this much in one episode before and it is really watering my crops, clearing my skin, rasing my grades, saving my whole ass year -

The dark eyeshadow returning at Thomas’s subtweet is great and very relatable

Virgil asking what is things are never the same again but with light eyeshadow and the clearly more hopeful outlook on things makes me so very happy

I love Roman being excited but like we don’t see virgil so giddy nearly as often and it’s just so heartwarming

Roman trying to get them to go to France on V-day and Virge actually going along with the idea!!!

Virgil telling Thomas to do the happy flappies!!!!

Virgil’s face at ‘are u ready for this’ kills me

But the deepening panic voice when the dog barks and his reaction to Ro telling him to relax was great

in summary: I though based on the title this was going to be the other sides flirting with Virgil and honestly I wasn’t that far off

[huntsman-ash]

LiveThoughts: RWBY V8E6

Second attempt at this since last time Chrome just DIED for no reason...

Im going to put literally the entire thing with Cinder under one note; Called it.

Its a great set of stuff, sure, but it doesnt relaly tell us anything we didnt already know about Cinder, and I personally feel it doesnt really explain why she turned out the way she did. I feel like we’ve had another weird twist of the situation again...M+K? Coronas fault? Who knows. Either way, this section isnt great by my taste and I kinda skipped most of it. 

Few things to note though; Apperently in Mistral scrubbing by hand is still more viable floor cleaning tech than using Dust.

The wind vane on the roof has the Rooster Teeth symbols rooster on it. 

The hotel Cinder is bought by is named the Glass Unicorn, fittingly enough for...several reasons. 

The coffees behind the stepsisters when we first see them are the animated versions of the real life stuff RT put out just before this season went live. 

No one seems to notice the fact cinder has orange eyes. I wonder if weird eye colors are just a THING in Remnant?

The control collar/shock thing is incredibly inefficient in design, since it doesnt actually hold on to her very well. A more effective brace/choker design would have worked better.

The song that goes on during all of this is...kind of obvious and a little bland? Fitting for younger Cinder I guess. 

Mmm. Random greasy huntsman. 

I guess in Atlas its fine to laugh at struggling teenagers?

Im going to assume there’s a 3+ year gap here where she gets older, cause she stops being smol and gets closer to how we see her now.

Also even here, in Atlas...really? The most effective way to clean these carpeted floors is to have a TEENAGER SCRUB THEM BY HAND?

How do you scrub...I assume its carpet anyway?

And how you tell civilians are lame in Atlas; they are impressed...by a sword.  Just a sword. A boring, half-cut sword. Losers.

I assume this would be Cinder’s semblance manifesting. Also note on the desk; “we do not serve faunus”. Well THAT doesnt surprise me.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Get fucked Cinder. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

I dont even feel pity for her, this is funny to me.  Also the fact that this kind of shit aCTUALLY EXISTS is...amusing to me. Like, really? So I guess indentured servitude is a thing in Remnant too. 

And this is why Cinder likes to use swords. Really. Wow. LAMEO.

Huh. Dual maces. Interesting. Thats a prety cool weapon.  Looks like they open up too. Bet he could bash some skulls with that.

“Hurting them isnt going to make your life any better”. Um, excuse me? I think hurting them is the very best thing to do in this situation. At least, for the moment anyway. 

Huh. So she’s ten at this point? Even as a child, shes older than she looks. 

And training montage. Huh. Or at least I assume it is. I get the feeling being able to go where you want too and do what you want too is the main reason Hunters exist. There must be crazy tight immigration laws...or, maybe, its just that traveling between kingdoms is stupid dangerous cause of Grimm. I think the latter is most likely considering every form of public transit extra-kingdom we’ve seen (even between cities, see Argus Limited) has some kind of defensive weaponry. Limited and ineffective, for th emost part oddly.

So you can take the exam at 18. Okay cool. Pre-that must be prep school. Wonder what happens if you wash out? Also I like how this dude is just “yeah, 7 years of training, we got this.”

I think this is the first time we’ve seen the other side of the moon. Or at least, the proper other side...bloody hell I STILL dont know how all those piesces are still held in place, the thing looks like it should start yeeting bolides at Remnant. 

Better still we see it MOVE, rotate in time to the passing of years. So it literally does rotate on its own axis, and more importantly, unlike OUR moon, its NOT tidally locked. We only ever see the same side of our moon. REmnants rotates MUCH faster. Also it doesnt seem to have phases like ours does. I’ll check on why that is. 

Well at least we have an explanation for why Cinders so damn good at fighting people. Trained by an Atlas Huntsman.

Also as a note the device is quite literally just an electrical Dust crystal attached to a necklace. Things the most inefficent torture device Ive ever fucking seen. 

Wonder how often they have to change the crystal.

And there goes the moon rotating again.

I like how NO ONE comment on the blade going missing and that guy never came back for it. I guess he must have just bought a new one.

I get the very distinct feeling they wont just let her go honestly, permission or not. 

AWWW WE DONT EVEN GET TO SEE CINDER MURDER THE SISTERS. Also no blood. Odd.  Good kill on the  stepmother though. Oh, that NECK CRACK.  I like how all the bitch can do is try and shock Cinder, like, uh...adrenaline up? SHE HAS A SWORD? MAYBE FIGHT BACK?

Hah. Weak ass fuckin Atlas people.  Also the clock going off in the back ground twelve times. How fitting. Welcome to midnight. 

Also shes kind of glowing here cause the room is dark, and I find it amusing this is probably the last time she wears white.

And THERES the Cinder we know

Sick ass music, cool. Also THAT is an interesting semblance...I guess he turns himself to metal? Also DAMN his aura broke after THAT? Hes a Huntsman...ah who cares. Again probably in Cinders memory more than anything. Which at this point is probably about as reliable as a coked up hookers.

SHANKED. Sucker. You shoulda seen THAT one coming.

And thats all it took to get the shock collar off. Lol. 

So what happened to the hotel? Did they just...write it off? I mean four people got murdered in there...

And now we’re back on the whale. HOW THE SCREAMING FUCK DID CINDER JUST...

Wow. She just got up after eating that blast. Fucking plot armor.

Merc making the hard calls honestly.  Im actually gonna watch all of this now which is nice because I want to know whats happening in the real world. PITY MORE THAN HALF THE EPISODE WAS THIS FUCKING FILLER.

I like how Cinder just...goes quiet the moment she realizes shes lost Mercury. Not that he was USEFUL mind you but if I had to guess she liked being the boss. But now shes...basically back where she started. 

So the whale is basically a ship. It has a bridge. Probably Salems throne room.

Man, Oscars literally just RTs punching bag this season isnt he? Literally in this case. 

His clothes are still scortched too which I find interesting.  The black eyes also staying. Auras not back up then? Aura repair and regen seems...werid half the time. Like RT does what they want with it.

Ah so someone finally says it...but at the same time what exactly does Salem have to fear? If she cant fight the whole world...what could they do? Maybe overwhelming her? It...Im having a hard time putting the “she cant be stopped” with “shes afraid of fighting all of Remnant”. 

Somethings missing here. I know it.

The sound of the “door” opening reminds me of the Flood doors in High Charity in Halo 3s Cortana. Fleshy twisting.

Mention from Hazel, but AGAIN...no details. I guess if you nail down how she can do stuff its harder to write? 

Glad someone made a comment on the futility of the Hunter academies. 

I really hate how Salems giving us creepy mommy shades. 

Hmm. So yeah the bridge IS the throne room/command deck. I like how Neo doesnt give a fuck is just casually kneeling. 

Ah okay THATS why he grabbed the scroll. 

Heh. Interesting. How exactly does this work I wonder. 

...Why does Salem have a ring. Has she always had that ring?

Neo looking at the Hound like “oh, I could ride this thing”. 

Oh cool the Ace Ops. And they’re arguing, shocker. Sounds like Elm doesnt trust tech either. No shock there.  Idiot.

Atlas elite. Yeah, right.

Huh, is this a Manta with landing gear? I guess they do have them...seems kind of silly to have them so high up though. I guess thats what the thing under the door is for, so they can deploy a ramp. Man, I really dont like Atlas’s airship design.

Hare needs some fuckin suppresants. 

Annnnddd...here we go, things go straight to hell. I was warned of this. I am going to try and not be mad...but from what Ive heard the incomptence of the military in this particular section is astronomical.

Huh. So...Grimm can be convirted into a rock-punching liquid? Interesting. Has that always been a thing or... Also why the fuck are you jsut standing there in awe, go kill the fucking thing! Fucking Specialists.

...that is all it took to get through Atlas’s shield? THAT?

I also love how no one does anything. Ironwoods like “wait what the fuck”. Come on bro. 

And...thats the Atlas navy. Everyone. Two lasers. One of which missed. Remind me again what exactly these things are used to shoot?

Wait, no, that took down part of it, and then the rest is, surprise, hitting the soft rock on the outside. 

THERE goes the shield. 

Hang on a second, how long have those giant squid things been there?

And...what. The whale just approaches, nothing happens? You’ve got 12 fucking ships there, shoot the fucking thing.

Again, WHY IS NO ONE DOING ANYTHING?

Oh, it just beach-headed. Okay fine, whatever. 

Im not really worried.

Lets see how RT makes this WORSE though...

And thats this weeks episode.

[fostersffff]

Can Xbox win next gen?

Thank you for asking me this anon, I’ve been dying for an excuse to talk about console war stuff.

With what we know right now? I don’t think there’s a fucking chance.

To begin, based on what I’ve seen, Sony genuinely internalized their lessons from the PS3′s wack ass cell architecture by talking with developers about what they want out of the system, which has led to people like Epic’s CEO Tim Sweeney- a man who could not possibly have less of a reason to pick sides in a console war- praising the PS5 and talking about how incredible it is, whereas Microsoft has made A Very Strong Box... perhaps even History’s Strongest Box.

A Very Strong Box would be perfectly fine, but there’s a problem: because they have said and reconfirmed that the Series X isn’t going to have any first-party exclusives for at least the first few years, every game is going to have to run on an Xbox One, and Microsoft just discontinued the One X, meaning that games are going to have to run on the One S. This will result in one of two things happening: either they’re going to primarily develop for the Series X and downgrade games for the One S, which will almost certainly result in HILARIOUS jank like the PS3 version of Shadow of Mordor, or they’ll develop for the One S and just crank the hell out of the settings for the Series X, which will absolutely result in incredible resolutions and framerates, but model/texture work won’t be nearly as impressive as it could be. Compare the reception of Halo Infinite’s graphics versus the the big-budget stuff on the PS5 showcase like Ratchet & Clank and Miles Morales. Plus, in either situation, first-party games won’t be able to be developed around having a Solid State Drive, the benefits of which are immediately apparent if you go watch that Ratchet & Clank trailer- the only way they can get environmental swapping like that without loading screen is because of an SSD.

Speaking of SSD, there’s another problem: Microsoft has yet to formally announce the Lockhart, which according to leaks is a budget Series X, and we know it exists because there are references to Lockhart in the Windows 10 OS. There’s a possibility that one of the budget cuts Microsoft will make is using a standard optical hard drive instead of a SSD. This would cripple not just Microsoft but possibly the entire industry for the whole generation, because for as good as those PS5 games look now, they’re only going to look better down the line. A possible future is that third-party developers won’t take full advantage of SSDs since they’ll want to make sure their games will run well on everything, and as a result Sony’s first-party output will blow everything else out of the water because they know they always have an SSD. Even if the Lockhart does have an SSD and make cuts elsewhere like the PS5 with no disc drive, a lower spec Xbox Series console almost certainly means that developers are going to be required to make sure it runs on both, which will just cause more issues for them. I guess the positive side to both of these problems is that they are technically consumer friendly- making sure people who don’t want to upgrade to a Xbox Series console will still be able to play games like Halo Infinite, and making sure people are able to afford some kind of upgrade even if they can’t afford the Series X- but I don’t think most people are thinking of it like that, especially when the pomp and circumstance around a new console generation has always been about how much better the new hotness is.

On the subject of new hotness, Microsoft’s marketing strategy is very bad. Xbox has never had the best names, but this holiday Microsoft will have the Xbox One S, the Xbox Series X, and whatever they call the Lockhart, presumably the Xbox Series S or Series L. Maybe you and me can distinguish that with relative ease, but there’s going to be no shortage of tech illiterate parents and grandparents stumbling over themselves to remember what their kids wanted, or kids writing down and asking for the wrong thing, or even people buying for themselves trying to remember if it’s a One X or Series X or Series One or whatever. And we know this kind of thing is a problem because it 100% contributed to the Wii U’s abysmal sales. The other aspect of their marketing strategy is that they really... aren’t doing much to celebrate the Series X being new hotness. They’ve announced the Series X UI is going to be identical to the Xbox One, and just by looking at game boxes you’d have a hard time knowing if the Series X is a brand new console or just an enhancement the One X because of how identical it is:

Same banner, same smaller black banner advertising what console to use, little white text in the top right advertising graphical fidelity. It’s nearly identical. Compared with the reveal of what PS5 boxes will look like:

It’s still blue plastic, but check out what white banner and black text! No more “Only on Playstation” text so there’s less to distract from the box art! Even if you want to argue that no one but turbo nerds really care about the boxes- and you’d be correct to do so- there is something to having them look even slightly different to signal “THIS IS NEW!” Also, going back to marketing, Smart Delivery is a terrible name for Cross Buy/“you own it on the old thing and the new thing”, and they’re not even enforcing that name for consistency despite featuring it heavily in their advertising because EA is calling it “Dual Entitlement”, which is actually still a better name:

Also, the OPTIMIZED FOR SERIES X sticker. Madden 21’s box art is already fucking awful enough without also needing that big ol’ OPTIMIZED FOR SERIES X sticker making it an even bigger mess.

Then there’s all those studios they bought up: your tastes may differ, but the only studio in that bunch that I think can produce worthwhile games is Obsidian. Ninja Theory’s got Hellblade but not much else, Double Fine is going to be a fucking money pit because Tim Schaffer just revealed they were going to CUT ALL OF THE BOSS FIGHTS OUT OF PSYCHONAUTS 2 BECAUSE THEY SPENT ALL THEIR MONEY ON JACK BLACK until they got bought and funded by Microsoft, and the other studios they acquired like inXile and Compulsion are kinda just… fine. Even if they did have an absolute killer’s row of developers, I think about what Rare’s been doing since they were acquired (although people seem to like Sea of Thieves now that it’s had some updates, and I sincerely hope Everwild is as cool as it looks), and I think of this recent quote from the head of Xbox Game Studios:

“It’s kind-of a phased thing. Take Compulsion. They’re working on their next game and have spent the last year on early ideation. I try to keep us as far away from that as possible. And then, as it starts to get exposure within the organisation, feedback will come in and things will start to steer. But it’s important to leave them alone for as long as possible, until they’ve got something that can walk on its own. And then there’s no shortage of feedback within Xbox.” (emphasis mine)

… which makes me think about what happened with Platinum’s Scalebound, a game that somehow transformed from a single-player action RPG to an online multiplayer hunting(?) game and was cancelled because Platinum just couldn’t meet deadlines and am overwhelmed with dread.

The last thing is to think of that really just completely undercuts Microsoft is that fact that all of their Xbox games are also going to be playable on Windows 10. Obviously, gaming PCs are more expensive than consoles- even if both consoles wind up at a super high price point, getting comparable or better performance on a PC will cost just as much, or more- but it still cuts out a portion of people who might otherwise be persuaded to buy an Xbox if they wind up with a lot of good exclusives.

I think the only things Microsoft can claim as an inarguable advantage is the fact that the Series X is A Very Strong Box... perhaps even History’s Strongest Box, and that Xbox Game Pass is an insanely good deal (but again, Windows 10). Right now, they also have the Xbox One’s backwards compatibility baked-in, which is excellent, but Sony could potentially pull out the “PS5 can play PS1-4 games” card, which would nuke Microsoft’s “largest launch line-up in history” from orbit. Their only other possible advantage would be price, which is why despite the fact that we’re roughly four months out from launch, we know nothing about price of either console. I think they’re playing chicken to see who reveals their price first, and how low they can go before it would be suicide for the other company to go lower. And- this is wild, baseless speculation, but fuck it- Sony recently announced they’re increasing production of launch PS5’s up from 6m to 9m. It’s true that gaming sales have actually gone up despite/because of the current state of the world, but who knows what things are going to be like in four months, and either way the average person still probably can’t afford a huge purchase… which could mean that the PS5 isn’t such a huge purchase. I don’t know the cost of the PS5 components, but Sony might be willing to go absurdly low and sell at a loss for a while just to put Microsoft in that position, where they literally can not go lower than them (or they COULD, because Microsoft as a whole has theoretically infinite money, but I can’t imagine them wanting to accept that much of a loss).

tl;dr: Naw, man.

[halfgclden]

Sharkboy, Lavagirl, Yeast-Man, and Bacteria Boy | Jack&Parker

Summary: Jack and Parker watch a movie together, Parker is excessively awkward, don’t talk about it.

Walking down the tree-lined promenade, Jack felt very out of place. This was a nice neighborhood built for nice people, which he certainly was not. Trying not to feel too out of his depth, Jack had put on a fairly nice shirt and combed his hair. What did somebody wear to a social event based on Sharkboy and Lavagirl? "You can't grow if you don't let yourself blow," Jack whispered to himself before buzzing apartment 6C.

Did Parker wear a long sleeved shirt because Jack was coming over and he didn’t know how much one would want to lean on the other? Possibly, but he’d just say that he looked good in underarmor. He hooked his computer up to the television, which took a while since he didn’t fully understand how an HDMI cable worked. He jumped when he heard the buzzer and ran over to press his palm against the button to open the door.

Halfway up the elevator ride, Jack wished he had taken the stairs instead of sharing this small car with a stranger who was very clearly avoiding any sort of eye contact or human-to-human acknowledgment with the burn victim standing two feet away. Of course, they were both heading to the 6th floor. Sighing in relief once he stepped off the elevator, Jack waited a full 30 seconds before walking down the hall to Parker's room. Jack took a deep breath to collect himself mentally then knocked three times on the door.

Should he have done something else with his hair? Parker ran his hands through it a few times. He kind of felt like an idiot worrying about how he looked before watching Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Could he have latched onto a different thing that Jack talked about and asked him to watch that? Probably, but instead he’d chosen to watch a movie that he was pretty sure was not going to be everything he remembered it being while he was drunk from white wine. He pulled the door open and flashed a smile at Jack. “Hey!” He stood to the side so Jack could enter. “What’s up?”

Jack grinned at Parker's greeting. He stepped inside, instinctively making sure not to accidentally brush against Parker. "Uh, not much. This," Jack chuckled. The apartment was gorgeous—well kept and well decorated. Jack was used to cleanliness by way of owning few possessions. It was refreshing to a see a room that had artifacts of life and love. "Oh, this is for you." Jack pulled a pair of old Spy Kids 3D glasses from his shirt pocket and held them out toward Parker.

Parker closed the door behind Jack and smiled at him as he admired the apartment. It would be a lie for him to say that he didn’t take pride in how nice his apartment looked. He almost laughed as he took the fragile glasses and unfolded them. He felt like he could rip them in half. “Wow. I’m amazed you still have these.”

"I have a folder where I keep all my nostalgic paper stuff, like drawings or whatever. It was in there." Jack gestured toward the TV. "I like your set up. I should have brought snacks or something. Like... Shark gummies or... Lava cakes?"

“That’s so cute.” Parker exhaled a laugh. He pushed himself away from the door so he could actually move toward the couch rather than standing awkwardly in his doorway. He laughed again and shook his head. “I don’t have either of those, but if you want snacks I can grab some?”

"Uh, that's okay. I'm not really hungry, I'm just trying to be cute and thematic," he confessed. Jack took Parker's lead and sat down on the couch. "Here, let me text you the link for the movie and you can pull it up on your laptop." Jack pulled out his phone to send the text.

Parker smiled. “You’re doing a good job of it.” He raised his eyebrows a bit and nodded quickly as he moved forward to the computer. He pulled out his phone so he could tediously type in the exact link into his computer. “Funny that they have a 3D version of this movie to pirate. They assume you have the glasses?”

"It's one of those DVD rips, so I guess? Honestly I've never seen it not in 3D." Jack pulled his feet up onto the couch, sliding his feet out of his old Converse. He looked around the room again, trying to deduce which parts were Parker and which were Kieran. "You guys have a lot of DVDs."

“Uh, yeah.” Parker bobbed his head as he typed in the link and searched it. “I guess I’m just behind then? I just watched regular old disney channel.” He glanced at their collection and exhaled a laugh. “Uh, yeah, they’re all my brother’s. I bought him a few? If that counts.”

"I'm guessing none of the ones you bought were in 3D?" Jack grinned. "I didn't always have TV, so I kinda just watched whatever DVDs I could get my hands on." Jack tried intently not to stare at Parker's back muscles through the fabric of his shirt. He tugged on the sleeves of his button down, suddenly feeling awkward for picking such a formal outfit. Trying to be discreet, Jack pushed up his shirt sleeves and mussed his hair.

Parker shook his head. “I just watched whatever was on cable.” He shrugged. Did that sound pretentious? He didn’t think it did, but after Jack saying that he didn’t have TV, it seemed so. He watched as the link loaded and he had to click out of a number of unsavory ads. He didn’t normally pirate movies. He was more the type to watch whatever he could find on whatever he could legally find. He clicked the movie, then clicked it again, and then again until ads stopped popping up and he could pause it. “Um, should I let it load?”

"Uh, sure." Aw fuck. Jack hadn't prepared any topics of conversation and could feel his nerves jamming up the part of his brain that controlled his speech. "So, uh, if you could be an animal-based superhero, what would the animal be?"

Parker turned slightly, still squatting so he would be ready to play the video, though the longer he sat the longer he found it strange. “Uh...” Parker had to think about this one. “Based on personality or based on what I’d want?” Were the answers different, or was Parker trying to buy himself time?

"Uh," Jack hadn't thought it through. He didn't think that such a dumb question needed any explanation, but he was glad that Parker seemed to be taking his idea and running with it. "I guess like a combination of personality, vibe, and what you feel in your heart?"

“Um...” Parker had no idea, if he was honest. He didn’t want to seem lame, but also, he didn’t know what exactly what compromised a ‘vibe’. “Maybe, like, yeast-man? Because then I can bake bread super easily. Does that count?” He laughed. “I don’t know, I’m never good at stuff like that. What are you?”

Jack cackled. "Ew, what? Yeast Man?" Jack applauded Parker's answer. "Wait, how would that work? Would you be like, part-yeast or would you shoot yeast beams out of your body?"

Parker dropped his face into his hands, as though he only realized how dumb his answer was when Jack repeated it back to him. “Ugh, no, nevermind. Please forget I said that. Let me be bear-man or something.”

"What? No! No take-backs!" Jack was curled up in a fit of laughter. "Yeast Man is incredible! You have to own it!"

Parker felt his face grow hot under his hands and he groaned quietly. He lifted his face and peaked at Jack from between cracks in his fingers. “I just mean because I work in a bakery!”

Jack shook his head. "You don't have to explain yourself, I'm all for it. Yeast Man, protector of gluten, dual wielder of baguettes." Jack laughed at his own joke.

Parker sighed and moved to take a seat next to Jack again. “You didn’t say what you’d be.”

"Um..." Jack tapped his chin. "If we're going with this theme, I could be like, Bacteria Boy. We could form the Scoby Squad."

Parker couldn’t exactly tell why he was absolutely charmed by everything Jack said, but he pushed the feeling aside as he smiled as he ran a hand through his hair. “It’d be like Osmosis Jones.”

"Uh..." Jack wasn't sure what Osmosis Jones was but nodded anyway. "Yeah, sure," he laughed. "Oh, we could do the power rangers morphsuits and then when we tap rings we just turn into bacteria and yeast. And then that's it."

Parker groaned again and shook his head. “Please never bring up the power rangers morphsuits again, thanks.” He briefly wondered why he sounded like an idiot every time he opened his mouth.

Jack laughed. "Okay." Jack rested his chin on his knees, his arms hugging his legs. "Is it loaded?"

“Ah, yeah.” He had almost forgotten that’s why he’d paused the movie. He stood to press play before settling back down on the couch. He slid on the paper glasses and he rested his hands in his lap.

Jack smiled wide when Parker put on the glasses, but refrained from making any comment just in case Parker might get self-conscious and take them off. "I'm really hoping this movie is as good as I remembered it to be."

Parker pulled one leg up onto the couch and wrapped his arms around it. He smirked and looked at Jack. “I doubt it, but here’s hoping.”

As the opening scene came on the TV, Jack sprung up off the couch. "Uh, let me get the light." Jack circled the room flicking a few switches on and off until the room lights flickered off, leaving them lit up only by the blue light of the TV. Jack returned to the couch, sitting a little closer to the middle now, casually and discreetly.

Parker turned to watch Jack and scooted an inch closer to where he was sitting while his back was turned. He rested his right ankle over his left knee. “It’s... Woah, it’s really 3D.”

Jack chuckled. "I mean... Yeah. Did you not watch any 3D movies growing up?"

Parker shook his head. “Not at home. Just in theatres.” He pushed his glasses down his nose and came to a realization. He looked at Jack. “Is... Is this giving you a headache? We can watch a non-3D version.”

"No, that's okay!" Jack didn't want to admit how much enjoyment he was getting out of seeing Parker with the 3D glasses on. "I can like, do one of these." Jack circled his thumb and pointer fingers around his eyes like glasses.

Parker exhaled a laugh and pushed the glasses back on. He smiled and shook his head. “Okay, but tell me if you do get a headache, I don’t mind missing out on the 3D.”

"I'll let you know." Jack turned to watch the movie. It was not, in fact, as good as he remembered it to be, but Jack still found himself smiling at some jokes. Every now and then, Jack turned to watch Parker, to see his reactions, to smirk at the way he looked in the glasses. At some point Jack pulled his legs up into a criss-cross applesauce, maybe not-so-accidentally letting his knee cross over into Parker's space.

The movie was... It was something. Parker couldn’t say that he wasn’t enjoying it, but the effects and jokes were... Not great. Much less high brow than the jokes in the movies he and Kieran would watch, but that did make them easier to laugh harder at, even if it was just at how ridiculously they were delivered. He pulled his sleeve down with his thumb so it was covering half his hand, somewhat unconsciously, as he stretched his arms out behind him on the couch. He was nowhere near actually touching Jack’s shoulders, but he had a moment of faint panic as he tried to focus on a young Taylor Lautner performing his song and dance scene.

"Dream, dream, dream, dream," Jack muttered along with Sharkboy. Jack turned to look at Parker. "Is it weird to say that Sharkboy was like... My gay awakening?"

Parker choked out a laugh and covered his mouth. He looked at Jack. “I hope you mean, like, as a kid.”

“Ew, duh, of course I mean as a kid.” Jack laughed. “Unless you think I’m only just now realizing I’m a homo.”

Parker smiled and moved his hand from behind Jack to rest on the back of his own neck. “Um,” he exhaled a laugh. “It was a joke. I’m still not great at them.”

In the corner of his eye, Jack noticed Parker's hand move away from the back of the couch. For a moment, his heartbeat stumbled. "You're better than you think." Jack nestled his face in his palms and turned back toward the screen to hide the red rising in his cheeks.

Parker leaned his upper arm against the back of the couch and rested his head against his hand. He glanced at Jack and smiled at him, seemingly engrossed by the film. He turned back to the movie. “Who was your favorite character?”

Jack leaned back into the seat of the couch. "Do you mean like, in this movie? Or just in general? Because definitely Sharkboy if we're talking Sharkboy and Lavagirl."

“Because he was your gay awakening?” Parker laughed. “Do you have one in general?”

"Yes! Exactly. How could he not be my favorite?" Jack laughed. "In general though, if we're talking childhood, I'd probably have to say... Miranda Priestly?" Jack laughed again, not sure if the reference would even land with Parker. "How about you?"

Parker rested his hand on his cheek. He didn’t know who that was, so he just nodded and hoped Jack wouldn’t want to talk about it too much. “Cool. Uh, I don’t know if I have one. I probably do, but not off of the top of my head.”

Jack tapped on the couch between them, watching his fingers. "You'll have to figure it out. And then we can watch your movie next." Jack slid his hand back onto his lap. "So we're even."

Parker watched Jack’s hand for a moment before looking back at him. He felt his ears grow hot as he grinned, so he turned back to the movie. “Yeah, cool.” He couldn’t stop smiling. He moved his arm back to the back of the couch. “I can look through the movies I have here. Unless we want it to be another childhood movie.”

"Whatever you want!" Jack answered a little too quickly. He didn't want to seem too eager to spend time with Parker. Or did he? He felt his face go red again. "I just want to know what you like."

Parker continued to smile and only glanced at Jack, afraid that he might be watching him instead of the movie too much. “Um, I like watching films with my brother, but I really like funny, shitty movies like this. I mean, not that this is shitty, it’s great. It’s just... I’m enjoying it.”

Jack turned to look at Parker. "You can say the movie's shitty, Parker. I know it's shitty," he laughed. "I hope you don't, like... Think that I think this is a masterpiece."

Parker laughed and pressed his cheek into his shoulder, a bit embarrassed. “I don’t, it’s just, I don’t want you to think that I’m not enjoying it, because I am. And sometimes I’m kinda rude with what I say, I’ve been told.”

Jack grinned and shrugged. "Eh. Words are just words. Sticks and stones may break my bones but just don't burn my eye out."

“Um,” He exhaled an almost-laugh at that, feeling bad for doing so, but feeling worse if he didn’t. “Yeah.”

Jack snorted. That was the first time he had ever made a joke about the incident out loud to another person. Despite Parker's reaction, Jack still felt a little rush come on, as if he had finally released a weight he didn't know he was carrying. He pushed his fingers into his cheeks, trying to get himself to stop smiling so hard. "Sorry. Just kidding." But not really.

“Oh, yeah, I mean.” Parker shrugged. He wondered how Blue would feel about Jack sitting on his couch right now. He swallowed. “Um, I’m gonna grab water. Did you want anything?”

"Uh, water sounds great." Jack pressed his face between his hands. Oh gods, was the joke too dark? Jack exhaled, not too loudly, trying not to psych himself out. He let his feet fall back on the floor to give himself some better circulation. Jack wasn't used to feeling this many emotions at once and he needed to remind himself not to cease all autonomous bodily functions.

Parker stood and ran to grab two cups of water. He closed his eyes for a moment as he stood at the counter and sucked in a long breath, held it for a moment, and exhaled. He felt like he was doing well, but he could feel himself crashing. He swallowed and moved back to the couch. He took a seat noticeably closer to Jack this time, but still kept about half a foot between them. He held the cup out to him. “Sorry I didn’t offer this when you got here. Bad hosting on my part.”

"That's okay. Sorry about that joke, I wasn't trying to make things awkward, or like... Uh." Jack took a big sip of water and set the glass down on the floor in front of them. He shook his head. "We're both pretty shitty at words, I guess," Jack offered meekly.

Parker sipped his water and shook his head. “No, no, it’s fine, just, unexpected, I guess.” He shrugged and put his water down as well. “God, yeah. I called myself yeast-man earlier. I thought that was an appropriate thing to say.”

"I still do. I don't know why you wouldn't think that's an appropriate thing to say." Jack smiled at Parker. "Since you're a baker and all."

Parker dropped his head as he laughed quietly. He folded his hands in his lap. There were moments when he was overwhelmed by how much he liked Jack, and in this particular one, he felt almost guilty about it, like it was a mistake having him here. He forced the thought away and sat back. “I guess you’re right, bacteria boy.”

Jack chuckled, exhaling a sigh of relief. The conversation was back on track. He folded his arms across his chest and sat back, leaning ever so slightly in Parker's direction. Jack had forgotten entirely about the movie but he forced himself to look at the screen to avoid the risk of making any more awkward jokes.

Parker moved his legs up to criss-cross on the couch, his knee inches away from Jack’s leg. He rested his hand in his lap and didn’t look at his leg. “Um, do you watch a lot of movies?”

"Uh, yeah." Jack answered the question absentmindedly, not sure if he was telling the truth or not. His eyes had fallen to the small distance between his leg and Parker's, and his mind was singularly focused on deciding whether to close the gap. "I've been watching a lot of shitty 80's horror movies lately. Like, summer camp slashers and that kind of thing. How about you?"

Parker pushed the glasses to sit more securely on his nose. “I’m not really a horror guy? But it might be because I don’t watch any. I watch, like, early French cinema. Like, pre-Nouvelle Vague and it’s all in black and white. I watch some Spanish movies too. My brother’s really into film.”

"Oh my gods, you're, like, sophisticated." Jack laughed. "Do you speak French and Spanish? Because that's... Kinda hot."

Parker laughed. “I’m not, it’s all Kieran’s influence. I never really watch movies on my own. Don’t know why.” He bit his lip and smiled. “Ha, yeah. You know, romance languages. Pretty neat trick, I guess.”

"Wow. Really neat." Jack let his hand slide to the side of his knee, occupying the small space between them. "Can you, like... Tell me something in French?"

Parker glanced down at Jack’s hand and turned to look at him. “Do you speak French?” He tilted his head.

"Not even a little bit." Jack smiled.

Parker smiled back. “Je te trouve très mignon, Jacques.”

Jack bit his lip, grinning from ear to ear. "Um... Something, something, steak, Jacques?"

Parker smiled and rested his hand on the back of the couch again. “You got the jist of it.” He pressed his cheek to his shoulder again.

Jack gave a small chuckle and looked back at the screen. Lips pressed together, Jack held his breath and reached his pinky out to touch Parker's knee.

Parker watched Jack’s hand when he felt him poke his knee. He didn’t move his head, hoping that the glasses would somewhat cover his eyes. “Do you speak anything but English?”

"Uh, I don't." Jack retreated his pinky to his own leg. "Just 100% English and bullshit for me."

Parker let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when Jack pulled his pinky away. “Ah, I can always help you if you wanted to learn French or Spanish. I think when I speak French, you can tell I knew Spanish first.” He pulled a face.

"Sure, yeah. I don't think I'll be any good, I've never really learned any sort of language before, but I'm down to try." I'll take any excuse to hang out again. "If it makes you feel better, I definitely couldn't tell."

Parker grinned. He’d successfully managed to get Jack to agree to hanging out after this. “That’s good, it means my accent’s getting better.” He looked at the hand behind Jack and played with the hem of his sleeve. “I’m not the best teacher, so we’ll see if I’m any better than Duolingo.”

"Well, I'd rather learn from you than an owl." Jack pulled his feet back up onto the sofa, hugging his knees and curling up again.

“I can French better than an owl.” Parker smirked at his stupid joke and looked back at the screen.

Jack propped his chin up on his knees and did his best to focus on watching the rest of the movie. Whenever the 3D became tiring to look at, Jack would drop his eyes to the floor or steal small glances at Parker.

Parker stayed somewhat amused by the effects and storyline. He looked at Jack again as Max and Linus fought with brains. “Do you think this is what it’s like when the Morpheus cabin gets upset with each other?”

Jack laughed. “Like a pillow fight but with brains?” He looked over at Parker with a smirk. “You should give them the idea for the next time they fight with the emo guy.”

Parker laughed. “I hear they’re apparently fine with just punching him?” He shrugged. “I really like Lavagirl. I think she was my favorite when I was younger too.”

"Wait," Jack turned to Parker. "You've seen this movie before?"

“Yeah.” Parker nodded. “I watched it a bunch, just never in 3D.”

"And you watched the whole thing again right now?" Jack laughed, clapping a hand over his face. "Oh my gods, I thought this whole time you hadn't seen this movie before. I wouldn't have tortured you with it if I had known!"

Parker shook his head. “No, no, I thought I told you!” He shrugged, smiling. “This isn’t torture. I’m having a great time.”

"Ugh. Good." Jack's cheeks flushed red, but he was smiling ear to ear. "I'm... Also having a great time."

Parker ran a hand through his hair and shifted slightly closer to him. “Good. I’m glad you’re not regretting letting me watch something in 3D while you... Don’t.”

Jack laughed. "I mean, I can't watch 3D anyway." He gestured vaguely at his face. "It would just be all red."

Parker nodded. “Ah, yeah, I figured. Thanks for... Letting me experience it? Sorry you got shafted though.” He pointed at his own right eye. “Is this one red?”

Jack smiled. "Um, yeah. You can't see it?" Jack reached out and held his hand in front of Parker's left eye, careful not to touch Parker's face. "See?"

Parker held his breath as Jack reached toward his face. He shook his head ever so slightly. “I’m, uh, colorblind.”(edited)

Jack clapped his hands over his mouth. "Oh my gods, please don't tell me I just made you watch a movie you couldn't see."

Parker laughed and shook his head. “No, I’ve been able to see fine. I just don’t know what color everything is. Like, I kinda do? Just, not fully.”

"Okay, thank gods," Jack laughed. "Um... Do you have a favorite color then?"

Parker shrugged. “Probably red? I don’t know.” He laughed. “Do you?”

"Wait, I'm confused." Jack paused. "So you can see red?"

Parker shook his head. “Well, a little? I can tell what it is sometimes? Against other colors, most of the time? But people say I look good in red, so I like red.”

"Huh." Jack sat back and looked at Parker for a moment. "Yeah, I can see that." I mean, you'd look good in every color, he thought. "I think my favorite color would probably be like... Black. At least if we're going with the clothes."

Parker laughed. “That’s a goth answer, but it fits, I also like blue.”

"Ugh, black looks good on everybody, okay?" Jack laughed. "Blue is such a straight boy color. Very American."

Parker laughed. “Okay, so I like blue and I’m straight but you get to like black even though it looks good on everyone?”

Jack laughed. "Uh, duh. Black is inclusive. You mix all the crayons together and you get black. Blue is like, the color that Danny Rinaldi hoarded in 1st grade because blue was for boys only."

Parker didn’t understand half of the references that Jack made, but figured he should probably find them funny. “Shut up.” He grinned. “It doesn’t matter, I can’t see it right anyway.”

"Sorry," Jack held up a hand in surrender. "You're right, I shouldn't mock the color blind."

Parker shook his head. “It’s fine, I don’t mind when you make fun of me.” He paused. He couldn’t tell if that was a lie. “That much.”

"Um," Jack wore a look of amused skepticism. "I don't think I believe that Mr. Parker Porsche Valentine."

“Shut up.” Parker repeated and ran a hand over his face. “Okay, forget I said anything.”

Jack laughed. "Sorry." He bit his lip and looked back at the screen. "I just, like, talk a lot of shit. I'm not—you're not actually... You know." Jack decided to stop talking before he accidentally shaded Parker again.

Parker laughed and shook his head. "Ugh, no, I was kidding." He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't mind, I don't. I'm just sensitive. I think the Porsche thing is funny, I swear."

Jack snorted. "Ugh, these mixed signals. I can't."

Parker dipped his head and laughed. "I just think you're funny, that's it."

"Good. I am." Jack was beaming, his entire face bright red. He wondered if Parker would be able to tell through the 3D glasses.

Parker exhaled a laugh. "You are," he agreed. He looked at Jack and smiled at him before looking back at the movie. "I can't believe you thought I never saw this movie. It's like you thought I never had a childhood."

"I don't know! Some people are just, like, sheltered. I never saw Toy Story until like..." Jack scrolled back through his memories. "I... Don't think I've seen Toy Story."

Parker shrugged. “I don’t think the movies are that good?” He sighed. “Please don’t tell anyone that, though. They’ll probably yell at me about their childhood or something.”

"People are too sensitive about childhood stuff. It's like—I was just a snotty kid with two thumbs, I would've taken anything my mom put in front of me."

Parker smiled. “Same. I think it’s only when you start, like, actively choosing things for yourself that it matters.”

"Yeah," Jack smiled at Parker, his eyes lingering on Parker a little too long before flickering back to the screen. "And we chose Sharkboy and Lavagirl anyway."

“Yeah.” Parker smiled at Jack even when he looked away from him. He looked back at the screen after a moment. “The best movie.”

Jack's cheeks were aching from how much he had been smiling. As the final battle began wrapping up, Jack suddenly realized the window of time for an super casual movie cuddle was quickly closing. The butterflies in Jack's ribcage had evolved into bottle rockets. As subtly as he could, Jack leaned slightly more in Parker's direction, trying to minimize the space between them without making any obvious moves.

Parker couldn’t tell if Jack was actually moving closer to him or if he was just sinking into the couch. He wrapped his hand around his sleeve, what he’d kind of been preparing for. His heart skipped a beat in his chest. He felt like he was in middle school. He kept his arm on the back of the couch, but moved it slightly closer to Jack’s shoulders.

Jack felt Parker move slightly on the couch beside him and his heart lurched. With a little more confidence and intentionality now, Jack scooted an inch in Parker's direction until he felt his shoulder brush against Parker's body. Jack's breath was completely still.

Parker stopped as soon as Jack was barely touching him. He didn’t know how close he’d have to get to make Jack pull away. He didn’t put his arm around Jack, but turned his arm so his elbow was slightly against his back. A bit awkward, but enough contact to send shocks up Parker’s arm. He felt like an idiot. He kept his eyes glued to the screen.

Jack didn't quite settle into the position, but stayed frozen there. What the fuck is this right now? He was afraid of being too forward but too far in to turn around now. As the final scene flickered onscreen, Jack remained half-touching, half-not, his heart thunderously pounding in his chest all the while.

Parker closed the space between them, pressing his side into Jack’s. He clenched his jaw and kept his eyes on the screen.

Jack could have squealed. In fact, he had to bring a hand up to cover his mouth to stop the intense urge to giggle. Jack silently cursed his instinct to laugh in times of nervousness and intimacy. He tried his best to breathe deep and enjoy the sensation, but very quickly, the movie ended and the credits already began rolling onscreen. Oh, fuck you Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Jack sat still, waiting to see what Parker would do.

Parker pressed his lips together and closed his eyes, chest tight for a moment. He tilted his head back and laughed before turning to look at Jack fully, his face hot. "Apparently this movie has me acting like I'm in middle school. Is it cool if I have my arm around you?"

Jack laughed in return. “So cool.” Fully beaming, Jack nestled a little closer into Parker.

Parker draped his arm around Jack much less awkwardly, happy that he'd worn the long sleeved shirt to make that possible. He felt a bit awkward just staring at the credits roll across the scene, and finally took his glasses off. He folded them and held them back out to Jack. "Oh, here. I almost forgot I had these on. Next time we can watch something that you can actually see."

Jack laughed, taking the glasses. "Thanks." He let them fall onto his lap for the time being, not wanting to adjust just to slide them into his shirt pocket. "I guess they didn't make old French movies in 3D?"

"You know, surprisingly, they don't. I think me and my siblings should wear the glasses next movie night, though. Great accessories."

Jack gasped and nudged Parker’s leg with his own. “Parker Valentine, trendsetter. I’d die.”

Parker pressed his lips together to keep himself from smiling too much at Jack’s leg against his own. He wasn’t sure if he was more or less satisfied now that Jack was pressed against his side. “My family already makes fun of me for how I dress, couldn’t get much worse.”

"They're just jealous." Jack folded his arms across his chest and let his head fall back onto Parker's arm. He closed his eyes, wishing he could screenshot the way he felt in this moment.

Fuck. Parker almost felt like yelling. Jack was so cute and so close and yet... He scanned his eyes over Jack's features. He turned his head to press a quick kiss to his own shoulder and then leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "Yeah, probably." he sighed.

For a second, Jack thought he heard... “Did you just...” He hadn’t felt anything, so he second guessed himself and decided not to finish asking the question.

Parker shook his head, doing an awful job at pretending he didn't know what Jack was talking about. "I didn't do anything." He squeezed his eyes shut and wished for a moment he could act like a normal person.

Jack chuckled. His heart was pounding out of his chest and not even Parker’s awkward quirks could stifle the amount of joy he was feeling in the moment. Jack shut his eyes once more, smiling ear to ear.

[siriusist]

 tagged by @anathenma WOO GIRL <3

rules: tag 10 followers you want to get to know better

name: Lauren

gender: Female

star sign: Virgo Sun || Leo Moon || Leo Ascendent, which basically means I have the usually quiet reserved personality of an analytical, organised virgo on the fact of things, am usually the goofy, chill friend amongst my friends, and don’t like to take anyone’s shit, but if I am disrespected, I’m a sensitive six foot flower and withdraw from the world until I can get over it. xD I don’t like conflict.

height: 183cm/6 feet 

age: 27 (YIKES XD)

wallpaper on my phone: (I had to check XD) A calendar of May 2020 stylistically arranged around ribbons

house: Slytherin

ever crush on a teacher: Both my parents and my uncle are teachers and consequently I knew every teacher in my school as actual human people and not ‘crushes’ growing up. So no. XD

coolest halloween costume: I went as the Starbucks logo one year when I was eight, a gigantic Lady Luck die one year with a top hat covered in poker chips and cards. I had some good ones I made: I was creative as fuck when I was 9-11 especially, and I had to be, because I was already around 5′7 and people assumed I was just some weirdo dressing up to get candy (Hearing ‘AREN’T YOU A LITTLE OLD TO BE TRICK OR TREATING’ at eleven CRUSHED me XD)

Favorite 90s tv show: 

Okay. So there’s one’s I watched actually as a child of the 90s, and ones that were just always ON in the 90s that I ended up watching. It’s debatable whether these are actually good NOW. XD

That being said, the background ones were Saved By the Bell (ZACH MORRIS IS TRAAAAassssh~~), Boy Meets World, Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond.

As a kid, I loved the Aladdin Animated Series, The Hercules Animated Series, CHIP AND DALE RESCUE RANGERS (Which didn’t really hold up sadly but still has the best theme song of all time, fight me), and Timon and Pumbaa.

One I rarely caught but really liked was All That, The Wonder Years, Sabrina the Teenage Witch- occasionally Fresh Prince.

Out of all of these, I still have a super fond spot for Saved By the Bell, especially with the ‘Zach Morris is Trash’ series on Youtube (Seriously, go watch it. It’s fucking hilarious and basically breaks down how much of a serial killer in the making Zach Morris is XD). The clothing is ridiculous and no one really dressed like that in the early 90s outside of commercials and TV (unfortunately). Maybe one shoddy item out of the bunch. Meanwhile Saved by the Bell is like LETS PUT IT ALL ON. XD It was terrible once they got to college, but it was stupid and fun and made me feel ‘cool’ watching it because I was like three and being like, “YEAH, IT’S BRIGHT AND THESE PEOPLE ARE COOL AND I CAN FOLLOW THE PLOT. I’M MATURE.” XD It’s literally still the only one of these I actively watch now in the form of Zach Morris is Trash, so I’ll go with it. xD

Last kiss: Never had a consensual kiss. Make of that what you will. xD

Have you ever been stood up: Nope.

Favourite pair of shoes: 

I have terrible plantar fasciitis from sports, so I’m a shoe snob, and have to have properly fitting/constructed shoes. It depends on what I’m doing in them, really. I got a pair of trail running shoes for trail running during COVID, but they’re not the most aesthetically pleasing. I’d say the best mixture between comfort and style are either a good ol’pair of black ankle boots with a slight heel (so I can be 6′2 and intimidate people with my height muhahahaha), or more practically on a day to day basis, I have a pair of Reeboks that are 90s-styled with pastel pink and blue triangles on the side. They’re pretty dope. xD

have you ever been to vegas: No, but my parents have. Basically, they said you tire of shopping after two days, and then you’re just stuck inside hotels and shopping malls there. If you’re not a gambler, drinker, or have a ton of money to splash out on stage shows, I don’t think it’s particularly worth going.

favorite fruit: Mango or raspberry, but they’re super-expensive in the land of Maple Syrup so I usually don’t get them any other way other than frozen in smoothies.

Favourite book:

 I could never choose a favourite book. It’s literally like choosing between children. It’s my microcosmic version of Sophie’s Choice. xD Tasteless joke aside, it’d honestly depend on the occasion. There’s a huge difference between entertainment reading, literary exploits, and educating yourself through books as a whole. 

My ‘plane’ book (which I’m terrible at flying, so that was a joke), as in, an easy, fun, instantly rereadable read to read on the plane when I used to have super long fifteen hour flights to Australia, was always Mario Puzo’s ‘The Godfather,’ because I also had a huge crush on Michael Corleone. 

But it’s also not the ‘best’ book and literally spends an inordinate and honestly disturbing amount of time on the fact that this poor woman in the story (which thankfully in the film, it gets cut down), but the bridesmaid Sonny Corleone has sex with, and how you see his wife indicating his ‘size’?

THAT’S LITERALLY AN ENTIRE SUBPLOT OF THIS BROAD’S STORY I SHIT YOU NOT BECAUSE NOTHING IS ‘BIG’ ENOUGH FOR HER AFTER HIM AND THEN YOU FIND OUT SHE HAS A MEDICAL CONDITION AND GOOD FOR HER SHE’S ABLE TO FIND LOVE AGAIN BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MARIO PUZO XD IT WAS A LOT OKAY.

(Footnote: I also suffered through his horrific sequels because I love Michael Corleone and will take him in any form he comes in, even horrifically written Sicilian backhill exploits that were never told to us in the original book and were clearly just written because Puzo needed another pay check but I digress.)

Horrific subplots aside, I really enjoy The Godfather for its sheer pulpiness. The book is essentially what Andrew Lloyd Weber is to musicals. xD (Yes, I come with musical theatre burns. Fight me.)

In terms of a piece of literature that I think is amazingly well done? Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, or Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.

Stupidest thing you ever done: 

Um, maybe when I was at Cambridge I tried to dye my roots to match the rest of my ‘blonde’ hair at the time, and it turned out bright orange? And because it’s Cambridge, they had this super-strict attendance policy, so I was literally trying not to hyperventilate because it was running close to class (which was across campus) and I was trying to find some way to remedy my hair without it falling out/ someone asking about it. So, I grabbed a toque-cap-thing despite it being literally one of the hottest summer on record in the UK (It was like 35 degrees, it was MENTAL), and had to sprint to class all the way on the other side of campus from my college dodging dodgy tourist groups blocking the sidewalk while I went. Then when I sat down inside, I had to be weirdly rude and wear my hat inside the lecture hall even though the professor was looking at me (it was a specialised program in German Literature) like, “Are you going to take that shit off?” xD THEN I tried to dye it back to brown, and it literally looked like mud mixed with a runny egg had exploded on the top of my head; it was AWFUL. XD So FINALLY I did my research and found a salon, but by THAT point I had done 250 pounds worth of damage to my hair (WHICH IS LIKE 400 DOLLARS CANADIAN AT THE TIME), and I almost had a heart attack and thanked my lucky stars that I had money put away so I could give my parents the ‘parent price’ when they asked why they hadn’t seen me on FaceTime or Skype for like, three weeks, and I replaced my face with a photo of John Cleese from Fawlty Towers, which they tease me about to this day. xD

The other dumbest thing I ever said was when I was so desperate for friends in grade six when I moved to a new school (and because being American was ‘cool’ at the time, apparently), I told everyone I was a dual citizen because my mother LITERALLY GAVE BIRTH TO ME ON THE BORDER CROSSING WHAT. XD And bless this poor bespectacled girl named Mara (who was actually a little class friend of mine), who just said timidly in the back, “That’s not how citizenship works.” xD It basically came out of attempting to be cool and failing, but I’m still SO embarrassed about THAT one that I’d never admit it to ANYONE besides shouting it out into the Tumblr black hole. xD I’m still embarrassed to THIS DAY.

All time favorite shows: 

 I’ll go for the original run of The Twilight Zone, which has some schmaltzy episodes (I’m really not a fan of any of the episodes entirely dedicated to the Space Race or the weird cowboy fanaticism of the fifties/ sixties, or anything that’s overtly like “ALIENS DID IT SO THERE”), but I LOVE their psychological horror episodes or Dystopian episodes. It’s when Rod Serling’s writing and narrative voice is the strongest and most prophetic, and the twists are usually the best. Other shows have tries to imitate it, or reboot it, but I really think the original, due to Rod Serling’s unmatchable voice, in every sense of the word. There’s lists of some of the greatest episodes, but I remember LOVING the episode ‘A Stop at Willoughby.’ The twist literally made me clap my hands in horror and delight, it was amazing. xD

Other than that? Off the top of my head, Mad Men and Band of Brothers, even though I haven’t rewatched either in ages.

last movie you saw in theaters: 

Oh God, before all THIS hit? Probably Rise of Skywalker. I get agoraphobic and itchy if a movie theatre is too busy, and we only have really pokey sort of ones nearby that you’re guaranteed to see someone you went to high school with (terrible), so now that I can properly drive I go out to the big redneck theatre out in the boonies. I miss living in Montreal though, because when you live in a big city like that downtown (and can actually afford to live there), you could see blockbuster movies at like ten in the morning. xD Which would be AMAZING because I’d go to see any of the early Avengers/Marvel movies when they opened, the day of opening, and it was literally me, one old man who fell asleep halfway through and sat near the back, and maybe an elderly couple on a morning date to the movies. xD I get really annoyed with obnoxious movie-goers, and I’m really picky about just being completely absorbed in the movie, so I tend not to go unless I’m guaranteed that space. 

tagging: Anyone who wishes to tag me back so I can learn about them <3