#sorry there isnt much my little is only long distance <3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eligaxy · 3 years

Text

Wind

☆ℜ𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔭 : Venti x gn!Reader

☆𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 : near death experience, you’re confused asf about everything, bad writing cause i suck, spoilers for the we will be reunited quest!! And also for venti’s backstory, venti is serious for once (yes it’s a legitimate warning🤚)

☆𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 : Some angst, some fluff? Idk bye🤨

☆𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 : "It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask." (2.8k words)

♪𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 : i’m an idiot simp, i did this in one sitting and half asleep, english isnt my first language BLA BLA IM SORRY FOR MY POOR WRITING BUT HAVE THIS

basically you don’t know if you can trust venti or not, head says no, heart screams yes

Also, I was listening to stormterror’s lair ost while writing it, just because its fucking amazing, you might wanna listen to it too

I’m nervous to post this?/&:! This is the second fic i’ve ever finished in my whole life

i love venti and he’s hot in his god outfit i don’t make the rules

KAY ENJOY <3

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

Saying you were exhausted would have been an understatement. After reuniting with your sibling, you had been frantically searching for clues about khaenri'ah and ways to Inazuma. With no luck, you couldn't find any traces of Dainsleif or of your twin. The ruins had been sealed and you had no idea what happened to the inverted statue or the corpse you had found there. Desperately, you clung into every little information you had, you would have turned every rock on this archon damned continent if you had to, which is what led you into those ruins near Guilli plains.

Walking along the destroyed buildings your eyes caught sight of a dandelion and you froze. You missed them so much, why couldn't they go back home with you? All you ever wanted was to be by their side why, why were they running away from you?

You remembered your travels, the moments you shared together, their protectiveness over you, the fondness in their eyes when you smiled at them. You remember the times you got hurt and healed one another with your now missing powers. You remember sleeping by their side and being grateful to the universe to let you keep your ray of sunshine everywhere with you. How ironic.

What had they meant 'once you reach the end of your journey' ? What does that even mean? Stupid twin, if they knew you were here the whole time, why hadn't they come to you? Why were they always leaving just when they were within your grasp? Why? Did they know how much you missed them and how much your heart broke when you finally saw them? Did they?

You only realized you were crying when a small gust of wind had your wet cheek react to the cold, breaking your train of thought. Wind.

The wind is everywhere, you think, free as a bird, always accompanying every citizen of this world, never truly alone. With this in mind, you resumed your exploring, slower this time.

A sigh escaped your mouth. You didn't want to admit it, but the wind did comfort you a little. Almost as if he was here. God of freedom and of the breeze, he was more a singer than a protector and you couldn't bear to think about him. Was it true? What Dain said... Did he destroy this nation? Was he the cause of the scenery that still haunted your nightmares up until 500 years later? Your brain simply couldn't accept that Venti, your Venti, you catch yourself thinking, could have made such an act of wrath. He was the epitome of freedom, why would he take the very thing he based all of his existence on from mere mortals? Barbatos simply couldn't be afraid of being overpowered, he didn't even care about power. All he wanted was freedom and happiness for his people. Surley this couldn't be right?

But then again, who were you to deny the wipe out of an entire nation? The gods did it. They were afraid that Celestia would be overthrown by the pride of humankind, the destruction of khaenri'ah by divine beings was a fact. There was no misunderstanding about this. That was the one thing you were sure of. So why did you feel like crying even more now?

The mere thought of a gentle soul such as Venti committing innocent people to an eternity of suffering didn't sit right with you. Even when his dearest friend Dvalin had turned against him, he didn't try to stop him, didn't even ask the dragon to save him. He healed and helped him, gave him a choice.

'What is freedom if demanded of you by a god?' was the same person that asked this question the same one who committed mass murder? Genocide?

Did the little wine-lover bard you had grown fond of destroy all hopes and light your kin had?

You remember that night when he freed Stanley from his burden, freed his and his friends' spirits. You had marveled at his action, in that instant he was a god, and he definitely hadn't struck you as a murderer. You remember that look of silent pain and grief in his eyes when he sang the tales of the nameless bard he had taken the appearance of. You knew he trusted you enough to share his story, something so personal, you could almost feel the war that took down the tyrant of Mond. Oh how much you cherished that evening, treating him to some well deserved dandelion wine afterwards, his favorite, and asking him to sing you more about the time where was nothing but the spirit of a breeze.

Your heart broke a little, remembering his rosy cheeks and drunk smile, you wish you could talk to him, ask him what happened. What did he do, was he really as dangerous as you had been told? If so, then why did you feel so good around him? Why did you feel like you could give hi-

You stopped walking upon seeing a ruin guard up ahead in the distance. You're so stupid, you think. Feeling this way is not gonna get you anywhere, especially with how the bard had been missing for a few weeks now. Ever since you had last seen your sibling.

Where was he, where was he wandering off to? You walk towards the disabled ruin guard, not really paying any mind to it, still thinking about the god you longed to meet with. If you could see him, what would you even say? Would he even answer your questions? Why did your stomach feel so light and funny when you thought about seeing him, why aren't you angrier?

You're almost at the killing machine's level now, so lost in your thought you don't notice the five other similar robots hidden behind a wall next to it. You notice them only when it's too late and you've already turned them on while thinking about examining them and collecting their serial numbers. When you hear the familiar tick of the mechanism turning on, you internally panic and think about running away only to calm down moments later and think to yourself that you can simply beat it and take what you came here for. Even if you are emotionally and physically tired, you can manage, you think.

That was before hearing five other consecutive ticks right after it, and all around you.

Turning around, your gaze falls upon the small army of field tillers. Fuck.

Paimon wasn't with you today, you had asked for some time alone which she hesitantly accepted, so you couldn't ask her to go fetch help. You would have been worried if you had all your capacities but with the state you were in, you were wondering how you were going to survive this fight. You were alone, none of your companions with you, and deeply weakened by the busy day you had and the few hours of sleep you had managed to steal away from the night. Was it today you would meet your doom, with all your questions and uncertainties unanswered?

You tried your best to fight with the strength you had left, but quickly grew desperate after what felt like hours of efforts to swing your blade and being able to only take one monster down out of the six. It didn't help that you got injured along the way, their blows becoming harder and harder to dodge. After being thrown on the grown for the third time, you understood you had at least two broken ribs and that your shaking legs would soon fail you as well.

Fear crept upon you, you would die here today, alone. Alone. You couldn't talk to your sibling after all, couldn't understand. You didn't even get to talk to him one last time. Him... You would die without the knowledge of the truth about your bard. You would die alone. You didn't want that, you couldn't look death straight in the eye.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

In Mondstadt, there was a musician, a weird singer everyone had heard about at least once. He lived off of his songs and was mostly known for having a great story-telling and being an alcoholic.

The number of people who knew the true nature of his identity were few and he was perfectly content with that. He didn't wish to be a god anymore, his gnosis had been taken away anyway and it's not like he had any power over the city of wind nowadays. Even if his people still worshipped him as Barbatos, it didn't sit right with him to be called a god anymore. It actually never did, he thinks to himself with a smile, he never really took any responsibilities that came with the divine title which is why he was so weak today. But it didn't matter to him, his smile turns into a soft giggle.

Sitting on a mill that was once born from his steps he looks fondly over the city he founded. Even if they were godless, the citizens were still thriving and free. He cared oh so very deeply about the place even if he rarely, if not never, showed the affection within his heart. He remembers the day he grew strong enough to dispel the storms over his actual Mondstadt, and made the weather gentle enough so that there was no need for fireplaces. Nowadays, he loves watching birds nest into the chimney tops and seeing them found their own home. It gave him a sense of belonging like no other, not above his people, but walking among them and watching them nest into this cocoon he created. He was proud of what happened to his land and would do it all over again if he had to.

Especially since it led to him meeting you. This thought doesn't catch him off guard, you often roamed around in his mind after all, and it's not like he didn't write at least three songs about you and your feat, your smile, your courage...

Ah there he goes again, rambling about you in a whisper. He turns around to the statue of him his people erected in his honor, chuckling at how they never made the connection with his signature braids. His, but not really his, since he had stolen this form from someone who was much more deserving of this power than him. Seeing his friend being honored with the statues of the seven around the land made him happy, he hoped that it was a good enough thank you gift in return for everything that the bard whom he couldn't even remember the name of anymore did for him.

Upon gazing at the statue, he remembered telling you of his long gone friend. It was the first time he had talked about him to someone else, he didn't even mention it to Venessa, she who made him believe in himself again. He could ask himself why, but he simply knew that you had something different, more than meets the eye. Perhaps it was because you weren't from Teyvat, or perhaps it was just you being as simple as your natural self but he was simply and utterly captivated by your being. You inspired him to no end, at first he thought it was because he had never met someone like you and he loved new things! But as time grew and he got to know you, he understood quickly the meaning and depth of his passions. He thought of it with a light chuckle, content with your presence alone. He really did need and want you around.

So why did he purposely avoid you like the plague?

The wind had brought to his ears that you had met with Dainsleif.

And your twin.

His first reaction was to search for you, talk to you, he wanted to be here to know what happened! You had searched so long, he couldn't contain himself, still listening to what the wind told him, he started running with excitement but... But wait, Dainsleif was... He told you what?

Oh.

So you heard about Khaenri'ah. He had stopped dead in his tracks and turned back, only sending a warm current of wind your way, hugging you from afar.

He wasn't ready to talk about this yet, not ready to face you and absolutely not ready to answer your questions. He was a coward, he thought, running away like that but what else could he do, really. It was only natural for him to be as uncatchable as air.

A sorry excuse to avoid the fact that even if his past had marvelous story like the one of the nameless bard, it also had its share of darkness, something he wasn't ready to dive back into. Especially not now when your arrival has been shaking this world up like it hasn't been since at least 500 years.

But oh, how he longed to see your face or to hear your voice. So he asked a breeze to report to him what you were up to, and where you were. Just in case! he tells himself, what if you needed help ehe? But he knows you're competent and you won't need the help of a weakling coward like him anytime soon. Or so he thought.

Because when the breeze only gives him a few words back, his blood runs cold.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

As you murmured these words in your desperate state, not really for anyone but yourself as a last resort, a prayer of some sort, you tried to stand by leaning yourself on your sword and failing miserably. You didn't dare look up as you heard the loud footsteps of the metal giants coming your way. It was over, and you barely managed to accept it.

As you rested your forehead against the cold handle of your sword, you closed your eyes, tears starting to make their ways out of your closed eyelids. All you could feel was remorse.

A soft breeze moved your hair slightly and your chest felt like a black hole had taken place where your heart used to be, regretting to not have been able to meet him under the tree at Windrise one last time.

The breeze quickly grew stronger, until it felt unnatural and you looked up from the ground, only to close your eyes again immediately when you realized the wind was too powerful for you to keep them open. If you had struggled to see though, you would have been blinded by the white light that soon illuminated the whole ruins. You didn't have enough time to register the situation when you felt a hand being laid atop your shoulder, snaking around your collarbones and pulling you back into... nothing? Another arm circled your weak form and a voice you immediately recognized said

"I've dealt with things worse than you, now crumble."

You realized that if you couldn't feel a chest behind you while still being embraced by his arms, it was because he was floating above you, and not standing behind you. A look in his direction confirmed your suspicions but what stunned you wasn't the fact that he was flying, but the attire he wore. Barely covering his body, a white set made of materials that seemed like clouds and liquid gold contrasted perfectly with his regular green clothes. His hair was glowing green and his eyes that were focused on the ruin guards up ahead had a marvelous shine that you had never seen before. He had that same aura he did the night he freed Stanley, but there was also something different about the way his hands gripped you a little too tightly or the way his voice sounded.

"Venti.." You muttered his name, relief and affection flooding you all at once, in his presence you felt as if nothing bad could happen to you. How foolish could you be, just a few hours ago you were speculating wether or not he had wiped out an entire civilisation and now here you were, being saved by him and feeling safer than you had in months.

"Close your eyes, I don't want give you a headache" he said, slowly floating legs first towards the ground. His unusually serious voice surprised you (and him) but you did as he told you. Letting go of your sword and leaning back into him, you let him deal with the monsters ahead of you.

"It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask."

Being protected by a god really didn't feel that bad. Especially when you were in love with said god.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Thank you so much for reading whatever this is until the end :’)

Don’t hesitate to comment or reblog, tysm <3

Ps: venti loves u and so do i do pls take care of urself mwah

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact #genshin impact angst #genshin impact scenario #venti x reader #venti x traveler #venti x lumine #venti x aether #el writes♡

298 notes · View notes

woolieshubris · 3 years

Text

Aquarium Date Fic !! Kagehina, but kag!asd. Kageyama pov. 2k words, oneshot. Tw : Sensory Overload! (it's present throughout the whole fic) Made partially for @spixi and partially so i could prove to myself that i can If there's a typo no there isnt <3 If you are an IRL this post doesn't exist <3

I typed out my message and pressed send, throwing my phone onto my bed.

Maybe I should go grab a snack or something... I think to myself, when I suddenly hear my phone buzzing against my pillow, and I dive to grab it. He replied to my message. That was fast.

Me : Hey we should go to the aquarium tomorrow.

Hinata : Okay :D sounds good 2 me!

Quickly, with my face quickly going beet red, I drop my phone and go to the kitchen to grab something to stuff my face with. I'm shaking, but as long as I walk quietly, I doubt my family will notice I'm even out of my room.

How should I reply? A thumbs up might be good, but it might be too cold. Any other reply is probably too much... Whatever. I'll go with the thumbs up.

I head back into my room and pick up my phone, typing a thumbs up emoji before covering my face again.

F/ck, I need to come up with something to wear, don't I..?

---

I arrive at the train station, feeling like I probably packed too much. I brought a backpack with an extra phone battery, 2 charging cables, (because Hinata has an apple phone,) and a bunch of snacks, as well as a water bottle.

Did I put on deodorant today??? I can't tell... If so, I'm probably already sweating through it. I start to feel sick to my stomach, but I don't have time to finish that thought when I spot Hinata walking in from a distance. He seems to be wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt, and suddenly I feel overdressed in my jeans.

"Hey! Don't worry, I already bought my train ticket. You ready to go?" He asked while walking up to me. He didn't bring as much as a backpack, and I'm suddenly relieved that I brought so much.

"Yeah. It's coming in 2 minutes. I half expected you to be late." I stated, before realizing what I said. Sh/t! That was rude, wasn't it? I have to be nicer. Ugh. Hinata punctures my worries with a laugh.

"I'm not late that often, am I?" He states. This makes me feel a little worse about my comment.

"Hm. Just often enough." I state, carefully picking my words. I can't backtrack now, but I can try to redirect my speech to seem less biting.

"You only say I'm late because of last time!" He keeps laughing, keeping the mood light. I wish I could speak as easily as him.

"And possibly the time before that?" I reply. This is probably what he wants me to say.

"Shhhhh. What matters is I got here on time AND I have my ticket ready. Don't worry, I also brought enough for the aquarium ticket too!" He states, smiling. His smile is adorable, almost cute enough to distract me from what he just said.

"Oh, I was planning on paying for that." I reply without thinking.

"Ehh? Do you owe me or something? Should I be asking you for money?"

"No, no. I just thought...?" I'm really confused now. I was the one who asked HIM out, right? He knows how these things usually go, right? Maybe he just doesn't know...

"By the way, where are the others? I thought they would have arrived by now."

The... others? What others? The team??? This is a date, right? Wait...

I DIDN'T TELL HIM. I DIDN'T TELL HIM THAT THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A DATE. F/CK.

"I didn't invite them." I respond, my subconscious taking care of what my brain is trying to catch up to.

"You really find them that annoying? I know Tsukki and Yamaguchi can be a bit much sometimes but...?" Confusion flashes across Hinata's face.

"I just wanted to hang out with you. Is that a crime?" I answered before my brain could filter out that last comment. It would be useful in getting him to stop pushing, but it's far too rude for a date. Not that Hinata knows that last part anyway. I wish I could take my words back.

"You should be honored that I said yes in the first place." Hinata teases, my face turning red.

If only he knew what he said yes to.

---

Hinata and I managed to keep from fighting on the 30 minute train ride, which was a feat in and of itself.

I can't ruin this date.

"Hey, Kageyama? It looks like there is a student discount, and it also seems like there is a discount for groups. What do you think would be cheaper?" Hinata elbowed me, bringing me back into focus. I look up. He and I are both equally sh/t at math.

"Uh... Let's do the group discount? I'll pay for it. You can pay me back later." As if I'd let him do that. Hinata bought my excuse though.

"Okay! I can buy you lunch or something." He quickly walked up to the desk, and I followed him. "Can we have 2 tickets?"

Wait. Wasn't I supposed to buy them? If I was the one paying, aren't I supposed to ask? Is Hinata planning on paying???

"Oh, sorry, He'll be paying!" Hinata stated, gesturing towards me.

"Yes. Here's the cash." I quickly press down the bills that were almost getting damp from stress. I had already looked online at ticket prices, and made sure to set aside the perfect amount of money for two tickets in my pockets.

"Great! Let's head inside!" Hinata grabs the tickets, holding mine for me. We go up to the metal detector and I get my bag checked. Hinata, possibly because he has my ticket, or possibly out of kindness, waits for me.

"Can you hand me my ticket real quick?" I ask, throwing my bag back onto my shoulder.

"Sure, let's go in." We walk into the main lobby area, waiting to get our tickets checked. The aquarium is beautiful, and oh so huge. The high ceilings, and smell of saltwater, the giant whale sculpture that I can only assume is life size, and the concrete flooring, these things that on a glance are grand, start to give me a pit in my stomach.

"Kageyama! Come on!"

I look at the horizon line, and recenter myself. A quick yet deep breath and I'm ready to go. I walk up, and turn in my ticket in order to get a wristband.

"Kageyama?" Hinata states, causing me to look over at him. "Can you help me put this on? I can never do it by myself." He holds up the paper slip.

"Yeah, sure." I say without thinking. I wrap it around his wrist.

"Hey, make sure not to make it too tight. They are a pain to get off if you don't give them enough breathing room." I nod my head, and make sure to give him a gap.

"There you go." I let go of his arm, realizing just then how warm my hand is. I can feel my face getting warm too.

"Okay, let me do you now." He quickly fits the bracelet to my arm. "It's perfect! Let's go inside. I wanna see this penguin exhibit that I've been hearing so much about. I keep seeing ads for it and I've wanted to see it forever-"

Hinata kept talking. I don't think he ever stopped talking. It's nice though. It makes it easier to not focus on the huge building, or the shifting lighting, or the crowds, or the ambient music that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Yup. I'm not focusing on any of that. Not. At. All.

My feet keep walking, despite my worrying. Hinata eventually slows, stopping before the largest piece of glass I've ever seen in my entire life. A giant tank filled with fish. The glass is taller than my house, longer than 3 busses, and blue and endless enough to make my heart stop in my chest.

F/ck.

Hinata turns around, and finds a bench to sit on, patting the seat next to him, while staring into the blue void. You feel like you have to bow down to its majesty. It is terrifyingly blue, terrifyingly enormous. I have never feared the ocean before, but I fear it in this very moment. A spotted whale shark swims past, paying no attention to the many people standing right against the glass.

"I could sit here forever." Hinata practically whispers. The giant tank orders your complete and utter silence. Even amongst a giant crowd, even with the littlest of children, everyone is quiet. The large speakers playing calming bass tones over the crowd of people, barely vibrating the floor.

"Hm. Me too." I reply. I could sit here forever, I feel like I already have sat here for infinity. Like its presence is something I could never escape. The pit in my stomach grows further. I break eye contact with the tank, reaching in my backpack. The zipper can barely be heard over the ambient noise of people shuffling. Was there always that sound? I bend down to look in my backpack. What was I going to get?

"Do you want a snack? I brought some granola bars." I state as I feel Hinata's eyes looking down at me.

"Actually, that sounds really good right now. I was just thinking about food." He states, bringing his head down to meet mine. I rustle around in my bag, and grab out a bar. It is barely bent. Passing it to him over my shoulder, he grabs it and unwraps it, sitting on the bench with his legs crossed.

"Sooo, what exhibit did you want to see?" He asks, taking a bite after.

"What do you mean?" I reply, choking down the pit in my stomach.

"Like... you invited me out here. So, what was it that you wanted to see?" He takes another bite.

"Uh. I just like fish, I guess." I look over at the tank, trying to avoid his gaze. I doubt he'll buy it, but it doesn't really matter.

"Me too! Let's go into the jellyfish room next? I can see the entrance to the penguins here and it looks packed. Explains why it's so much emptier here." He set his feet back on the ground and stood up, waiting for me to join him.

I leaned back down to zip up my bag, and we walked through a doorway into a smaller, darker room. Blacklights lit up the moon jellies as they calmly glided across the tank. Hinata seemed to drift off, but I didn't mind. It would probably be a good idea to be apart for a bit. I could calm down and collect myself quickly.

I walk up to the tiny seahorse exhibit, and look into the tank. I can't see them at all... I thought, when suddenly, I felt my forehead bump up against the glass.

How did I get close enough to bump up against it?

I go to look for a wall to lean up against. Leaning against something should help keep the pit down. I do a quick glance around the room. There are no walls. Only glass, and only fish. I hate fish.

Taking yet another deep and quick breath, I go back to meet up with Hinata. He was looking at a different kind of seahorse.

"Okay, I think I'm ready to go to the next section now." Hinata said, glancing away from the fish and over to the exit door. I nodded, and lightened up the scowl that was forming on my face. I didn't even notice it was happening until I felt my eyebrows aching from the effort. I just hope he didn’t notice.

The exit of the jellyfish room led to a balcony overlooking a lower floor. This must be the back of the aquarium. Below us there seemed to be a small cafe overlooking the sea.

"Here, let's go get some food! I can pay you back for the ticket that way." Hinata pulled my arm over to the down escalator. I step on right after him, and look down at the cafe.

It was very large, and honestly reminded me more of a cafeteria than a cafe, with lots of seating. After we reach the end of the escalator, he walked over to stand in line and stare at the menu. Looking for a good seat, I grab one right by the large window facing the water and set down my bag. I pull out the small amounts of snacks I've already brought to claim the seat and go over to Hinata.

"Hey, so I'm thinking about getting a sandwich. What do you want?" He stood, facing the menu.

"Honestly, just get me whatever you think I'd like." I state. I can't focus on the menu right now; I just don't have the energy to.

"Hmmm... Okay!" Hinata walks up to the register, while I go back to our seats. I'll probably regret that choice very soon, but I have backup food anyways, and I'm sure he'll eat whatever I don't, so it's not like the food will be wasted.

---

What the hell did he order??

I look at my plate, not quite understanding what the dish is even supposed to be.

"You said to get you whatever." He said with a smile, taking a bite of his sandwich right after.

"Whatever I might LIKE. What even is this?" I poked my dish with a spork, and it seemed to swallow it whole.

"No idea. I just pointed at the dish in the buffet." He shrugged. "I thought it might be funny, but it's less funny than I hoped. I expected more of a reaction." He looked up with the last sentence, making eye contact with me, which I broke a moment after.

"Sorry."

"Sorry? What are you saying sorry for? Since when did you say sorry anyways?" There was slight worry behind his voice, though it was hard to tell through his wide grin. To avoid answering, I quickly shove the food in my face. It's not great, but it's not really all that bad either. It's a little cold from sitting out.

"It's.... good." I say with a stuffed face. This causes him to start laughing again.

"You look super angry! That's the sort of reaction I was expecting." When did I even start scowling again? When I took a bite of the food, probably.

"You try it." I say, stealing a chip from his bag.

"I was the one who bought it anyway. I was half expecting you to make me eat it." Am I really that predictable? He took a bite, and made a variety of expressions, before settling on confusion.

"I wouldn't call it good. Maybe okay? It's definitely at least okay." He nodded to himself, taking a sip of water after.

"So, where to after this?" I ask.

---

We ended up on the train home while the sun was setting. It's almost to our stop. It felt so short, but we ended up hanging out for 5 hours. I almost forgot that I wanted it to be a date. I had to give up on that a while ago.

"Hey, we have to get off soon, get ready." I say, tapping his knee.

"Hm? Oh." He wakes up, blinking a few times and leaning forwards in his seat. He glances out the window.

The train stops, and we walk off onto the station platform.

"See you at practice tomorrow!" He says with a large smile, walking backwards towards the exit.

"See you." I reply, gripping the shoulder straps of my bag. I looked down

"I had a nice time on our date!" and with the last word, he turned around, running out of the station.

My head immediately turned upwards to where he was, as I feel my blood starting to rush to my face.

He... HE KNEW?!?

#dont mind me constantly changing the tense #im terrible w word tense

27 notes · View notes

phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust · 3 years

Note

I’d disagree with the anon that Paul was “incapable” of love, but I do agree he was very distanced, and pretty cruel (to women) when he was younger. (It was unfortunate they bought into the love at first sight myth, but he was also a charmer, and dropped affection and got colder after fucking them.)

But I just can’t see romantic interest on Paul’s end. I’m sure he loved John, but a lot of the “sexual/Romantic evidence” really can just be as construed as platonic love. I feel there may be some confirmation bias looking for “clues”. (Not an attack on anyone, but some of the analysises seem to try too hard, really).

He does make references, with the whole “calling him babe during concerts”, and “in bed” but that could just mean he’s not uncomfortable with coming off “gay”. He has a quote about it somewhere I think. He’s supportive of the community at any rate.

This is kind of my own bias, but at times I think he…plays it up a little during the present day? Again, I’m positive he did love John a lot, but with how he is, a charmer, good at manipulating his image, he knows there is a benefit to building up the “magical” Lennon McCartney dynamic. John’s dead, and the old conflicts have faded, so he has no reason not to. I don’t think he’s anti-social, or a psycho or anything, but he certainly does put a lot of thought into his image, especially now, with how he wants to leave his legacy.

I’m less knowledgeable about John, and the speculation about his mental illnesses, but on his end, I can certainly see it. Maybe he’s just blind, but the looks are very much…yeah. He does seem to rely Paul a lot, and hold him in very high regard (REGARDLESS of what those old male biographers might make of him). You just know he was suffering over Paul, poor bastard.

Not sure if anything happened. I think Paul knew though, and either ignored it, or was kind, knowing John wouldn’t act on it. OR he didn’t notice! With the whole “we shared beds A LOT. you would think he’d make a pass at me, darling~”

I guess that’s how I see it. I don’t really have strong feelings on the nature of their relationship, or want them to be “confirmed”, so I try to be as objective as possible! Not a shipper, but not a male biographer. In fact, I was very put off learning the ship was a thing at first! With every fan base “having to” ship the main male leads, that’s what I thought this was. But after three years, reading actual books, primary stuff, I’ve began to change my mind on its legitimacy, and this was my conclusion. But new information can always change!

(Sorry for the long long analysis, god! I just took my adderall and I should go eat! Feel free to block me for spam/harassment.)

Yeah, this is basically my big mclennon dilemma: did Paul love John?

Of course he loved him, but I mean did he harbour any homosexual feelings towards John - and I just go back and fourth on that a lot.

In my last response to an anon I wasn’t necessarily trying to argue that Paul was romantically/sexually attached to John, because all in all, I don’t believe he did - but it probably came off that way because I didn’t particularly like the way the anon had phrased some stuff (like calling him “a master manipulator” and “incapable of love”) and so I just sort of wanted to show that the relationship was more nuanced then just “john was simping for paul”. My overall point with that response was more so that whilst I think Paul struggles in showing real affection and emotions, I don’t think he was incapable of love prior to Linda. I think he did really love John (in whichever form of love you want to take it: romantically, platonically etc.)

And so my point I guess wasnt so much that Paul was always capable of love (because I think he did at least love his family, his close-friends, probably Jane etc.), but maybe more so that he was always capable of intimacy with another person, though he struggled with it.

But yeah, he was quite cruel to a lot of the girls he slept with in the 60s, but I wouldn’t say that suggests he was incapable of love (i know thats not what you’re saying but other people might interpret it through that lens) I would just say he was young, dumb, ridiculously rich and famous and not emotionally mature enough yet to really empathise with most of those girls. Not trying to completely excuse him, but like, i dunno, i always just try to view people from the most human perspective. Everyones an twat sometimes yknow

I also really struggle to see romance on Pauls behalf towards John - the only times I think “wait but maybe he did fancy john back” is when I read some of his lyrics (like in ‘Coming Up’, ‘Yvonne’s The One’, and to some extent ‘Here Today’ - though I think interpreting Here Today as strictly platonic love is still a valid interpretation). I mentioned this in a different post though, that analysing his lyrics just isnt particularly convincing for me, because it feels more like speculation - and also as someone who does write songs, I know that a lot of lyrics just arent as deep as we wish they were. It is really difficult to be truly introspective and honest in a song, without exaggerating or hyperbolising or fictionalising any autobiographical aspects.

I do see your point with Paul possibly playing up the “Lennon/McCartney m a g i c” - im not entirely sure how much I agree, but I do agree to some extent. I think he’s always been very image conscious, and being in what is probably the all-time most famous pop band definitely wouldve heightened that. Even as a teenager I think he’s always just had this natural charm about him, and that tends to stem I guess from a need to be liked; I think you can see it in every interview he’s ever done to be honest. Its not necessarily a bad thing, (because id take a charmer over a rude knobhead any day) but I guess it sort of just shows that Paul is flawed like everybody else. Also, just read @mothernatures-sons tags and I agree with her - Paul just knows when to be a nice person! Nothing wrong with that! It isnt manipulative like the last anon suggested, its just how most people are: polite :) Ive heard a lot of anecdotes from people who have worked with or met Paul and the majority of them say he was a just a nice guy. Not saying he was never an arsehole (cause yeah he was pretty cruel to those girls in the 60s) but I think overall, hes a pretty good guy 👍

On the other hand though, you could also say that superficial journalists are looking for superficial answers - and Paul knows what the people want to hear. But occasionally ill hear an interview that does seem more intimate then most - I havent listened to it in awhile, but the interview he did with Sean I remember felt more honest to me then most. And when he said he’d like to spend the day “in bed” with John, to me that felt like a genuine and fitting response. Because, whilst it has sexual connotations, it also just feels like he’s saying he’d just like to sit around, chat, dont chat, just whatever with John for a day. Like he would just like another moment of intimacy with him.

I think we are pretty much in agreement on most of this though! At first I was also like “nah, mclennon isnt real, teenage girls just love shipping guys!” (I am a teenaged girl and I can confirm this lol) but then it just sort of became apparent to me through reading more and more about their relationship that there probably was something more on Johns behalf. If John wasnt in love with Paul, then it feels as though a lot of things he said and did just dont add up (the big one for me is him marrying Yoko so soon after Paul married Linda - like I really cannot come up with a heterosexual explanation for that!)

But when it comes to Paul, though ill have moments of doubt, I dont think he was in love with John (homosexually) and I do think a lot of the evidence on Pauls behalf seems like a stretch (but like you, im not having a go at anyone, because I understand that it is easy to carried away, plus its fun - but realistically, most of Pauls evidence just is not convincing to me). He’s comfortable with his sexuality, and I really do try to respect that and not force a gay interpretation of quotes or songs from him, unless it is genuinely making me question his sexuality and mclennon.

PS dont worry, I didn’t take this is spam at all!! And also, I would never block someone just for disagreeing with me! I enjoy discussion and I think its good to engage with people who disagree with you! To be honest, id only block someone if they were purposely being a real arsehole <3

#mclennon #discussion

24 notes · View notes

dissociativediscourse · 2 years

Note

1 and 3 for the ask game - sys-beehive

fair warning this post is ranty and im not being explicit or anything but its kind of just a fuckin dump of a bunch of words man

1. Do you have an inner world? If yes, is it something you consciously made? What is your inner world like?

i do have one, kinda. its something i had to work on in therapy, and its really just like… brain organization. ive always kind of had ‘places’ and rooms in my head id kind of just pop off to em or theyd feel associated when i tried to look for someone else if that makes sense, but my work helped me to put them together into a place i could imagine and navigate and it helped me learn a lot about my system

i ended up figuring out a lot about structure because of placement and organization of this inner space and it helps us communicate sometimes even though it can be hard

inside i dont really wanna go over all of it because a lot of its pretty closely trauma linked or personal

but youve got a kinda central square that goes off in four directions and im gonna be 100% honest i only know whats in one and it goes down this alley thats got a kind of apartment area, go further and theres a weird carnival thing that isnt like a carnival you have fun at but like if an actual carnival had all the usefulness of a cardboard cutout 99% of the time and heres where the fucked up part of the trauma comes in its populated by scary ass clowns and a guy whos stuck in a memory/flashback of being on xanax

anyway that was a lot theres also a forest that has a field behind it and a safe place to imagine is imagining the inside of the house there

theres a mountain that makes me feel like im gonna cry but also really peaceful for some reason when i think about it

theres a view off in the distance i like to speculate about but it makes me head hurt because its walled off mentally

idk its not like fun or interesting or anything its just how i organize my parts system and try to communicate theres a lot more but id rather not delve into that neverending pit of deeply personal intimate shit my partner doesnt even get to know about

man this is already long

3. Do you experience your disorder as overt or covert? What does that mean to you?

it depends on who you ask and when

i think its pretty overt and shit takes effort as fuck to hide from people especially when i dont like people knowing pretty much ever except in recovery spaces and this kind of shit or if theyre extremely extremely close and then they only get a little bit as a treat

we rapid switch a lot because this system has a shitload of fragments and we all do the worst job ever at being stable or agreeing on anything, and everyone in general likes to be fucking loud as fuck whenever theyre around and something isnt going their way

this causes a lot of problems when im trying to look normal or think or do anything and i have others out loud literally making shushing noises at each other and telling each other to shut up.

i guess its also pretty overt in my opinion because a lot of us have pretty noticeably different postures dispositions facial expressions voices opinions you name it

its that sexy high degree of separation for me baby making therapy harder whenever possible

yeah so anyway this turned into a huge fuckin rant sorry but thats a lot about my system

#tw #just like generally ig #ask game #dissociative identity disorder #inner world #kinda venty #but not really #im just like this

1 note · View note

togalovesdeku · 4 years

Text

So I have a theory about this latest development and it goes like this:

Izuku is a time traveler!

Allow me to explain.

After the latest battle, (that happens around February) izuku has continuously wrecked his limbs far beyond their breaking point.

Remember how the doctor said that after the muscular fight that he would lose the use of his limbs if he kept breaking them. Well in the last fight he did, a lot.

So much so that even after every other non dead hero has recovered izuku is still in a coma

And then the next time we see him (outside of his introspection with OFA) is on top of a skyscraper.

This is a massive time skip with very little information provided about the the In-between. These are just some of the details that nag me:

1: The Costume; the last time we saw izuku wearing this, there wasn't as much damage to it as there is now, the legs, shoulders and hood all have tears on them, showing that it's gone a long time without repairs.

2: His gloves; the last time we saw them they were the Wolverine-esk ones that allowed him to use black whip, these ones could potentially be his old ones after he wrecked the others or these could be new and izukus decided not to use black whip.

3: His scarf; this ensemble appears to be a replica of Nana's Cape, where he would find such a thing and why he would add it to his image is still unknown.

4: his backpack; izuku is now wearing his classic yellow sack as part of his hero attire, I think the only reason someone would do this is because it hold all of his belongings, meaning he has no where to go.

5: his mask; in the entire time we've seen izuku there is only one instant of izuku donning his mask. That was all the way back in the first battle training, the one where he wears the jumpsuit his mother gave him. The only other time his mask has been put on was when togata casually flipped it over izukus head after overhaul had already seen his face.

Izuku has never hidden his identity as a hero, so why start now.

6: the licence; izuku by this time has only earned a provisional hero licence which means he can use his quirk publicly in a heroic capacity with supervision. It does not allow him to go gung hoe and turn vigilante.

The only reason izuku would Don his mask and go fight was if he had a full hero licence.

7: his injuries; so he's just healed now? After horikoshi set up serious repercussions there's no consequences? Sure you can say that eri healed him but why would that be told and not shown.

8: the goodbye; izuku as he has been portrayed would not give such an impersonal farewell as a letter with a minimum of information as a goodbye. His letter to his supposed best friend doesn't include that he's sorry for leaving or that he will miss her, just a my powers all mights. Strange.

And so here is the proposition:

The izuku we see at the end of 306 is not the 16 year old boy that was in the hospital but a 18/19 year old hero deku who has been sent back in time. This would account for what we are shown in the last panel

It is logical to assume that all izuku had when he was sent back was his hero outfit and his backpack.

The damage to his suit is explainable if he has never had it repaired due to it being dangerous to be recognized.

His body is completely healed, which at the moment can only realistically be achieved via eri or overhaul. Eri isn't ready yet and chisaki isnt helping anytime soon.

The dead look in his eye is also explanable. He's been sent to the past, however he cannot change anything, otherwise the events that transpired to send him to the past won't happen.

The hero deku has had to stand by and let people get hurt, had to let all for one run terror into the people. And for izuku, the boy who for his entire life has only wanted to help others, being forced to stand and watch as people die must have broken him.

Now though, with his younger self unconscious in the hospital he can finally be a hero again.

Now a lot of you will say 'how can he be from the future if he looks young?' and good question, my answer is that eri has healed him, and while trying to fix him accidentally set izukus body back to the entrance exam, to before he used OFA. And potentially more than once, this is how he can have a full hero licence yet still look young.

'then how did he get to the past?' I don't know, either a quirk we don't know of yet or the classic fanfic of Eris power not being rewinding biomatter but rewinding time takes effect. And she's run izuku through time rather than time through izuku.

The fact that the letters seemed so impersonal, that his mother or all might didn't get one and that we didn't see a letter of withdrawal sent to nedzu. It would make more sense if the older izuku was protecting his younger unconscious self by distancing himself from everyone. That way the traitor (probably Vlad king) would report to AFO that izuku isn't at yuuei, leaving the future hero deku to catch his eye while the current izuku is recovering in a hospital.

#mha 306 #AFO #izuku #mha theory #vigilante deku #deku

10 notes · View notes

foronceleavemealone · 4 years

Text

Long time no see

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

A/N: First time writing. Really wanted to write, but I think this is very bad. I don’t know how repetetive this is, but to me it seems very repetitive. Please be kind, but also I’m open for roasting. This isn’t a reader insert, this is more of an OC, but not really either. I feel like it’s somewhere in the middle. The watch that I wrote about is inspired by this watch. Also I don’t know much about 90s fashion, especially work fashion/clothing, I just think those type of necklaces that I made her wear look very neat.

Summary: She’s very done with work. On her way out she sees an old friend and they begin to catch up.

Pairing: Javier Peña x OC (I guess? But it can also be an insert. Seems somewhere in the middle for me. idk..)

Genre: angst(ish), fluff(ish)

------------------------------------

She layed in her bed on her left side staring into the distance of the room. Her heartbeat felt a lot more annoying than usual and even in a way painful. She looked at the clock. 4.37am. Not too bad?

‘If I fall asleep right now I'll be able to sleep for 3 hours and 23 minutes, which isnt that bad. I've had worse’. But she couldnt fall asleep. Various thoughts were plagueing her mind. After a couple more hours she couldnt take it anymore.

“For fucks sake” she mumbeled to herself and looked at the clock. 6.42. “good enough” she got up and went to the bathroom. Getting ready took up quite some time. She did want to look professional one last time. White button up, with a couple upper buttons undone, black blazer, black pants, black heels, a lariat necklace and a watch completed her look. She never liked pencil skirts. Not that it was a statement of some sort, more so that it made her feel uncomfortable. The hip hugging sensation, the way it looked, it just wasnt her cup of tea. Also she couldnt get much field work done in them.

She looked at herself in the mirror.

‘Looks like I'm going to a funeral’ a thought ran through her mind. In a way this was a funeral. The funeral of her career.

She thought about having breakfast but was too afraid to ruin her clothes.

‘Why didn't I think about this’ is all she thought mentally cursing at herself for not planning the little things.

She grabbed an apple, took a few bites and realised that that was not going to work, the nerves were kicking in and food didn't seem like their right companion. She grabbed her keys, her bag and went to take the last trip to the HQ.

------------------------------------

“Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?” her boss asked.

“Absolutely. I don't have any doubts” she said with a smile forming on her lips, but she knew she wasn’t sure.

“Well, it's difdicult to let such people like you go. It's tough losing good agents. But I wish you luck”

“Thank you. It was an honor working here and with you, sir” she said as she stood up.

“Likewise” her boss put out his hand and she reached out a shook it.

They nodded to each other and she walked out of his office.

It's not that she was a bad agent. Like her boss said, she was good, great, fine. But not great enough. She always felt underappreciated, but that wasn’t the reason why she decided to resign, or so she thought. It was everything else. Both physical and mental trauma. Getting shot left it's toll. She was never severely injured and thank goodness for that, but a couple of bullets pierced her arm once, one went to her lower abdomen and not to mention the times the tac vest saved her life, only leaving a pain in her chest rather than a gaping wound. All of these incidences made her think that maybe she was not only a lousy shot, but also a bit shortsighted, not quick enough, yet she never spoke about these worries and kept everything to herself. The physical scars were fine, they healed and stopped hurting, but the mental ones... She never forgot those moments when she got shot, or when she shot someone else. Losing coworkers left a mark. Losing partners, now that left a huge mark... After working for what felt like centuries, she started thinking whether this is really making any difference. Is it actually doing any good? So many people dead, so much blood shed, so many lives ruined. Being morally gray? Yeah, seems about right..

Working overtime surely didn’t help the situation. She wasn’t a workaholic, at least that’s what she had told herself. Working overtime, obsessing over details and usually getting little to no progress at all led her right into burn out teritory. And one day, she had enough. She talked to her boss about quitting after she finishes off one last case. He tried to talk her out of it, somehow drag out the case, giving her more paperwork or by making her chase loose ends, hoping she would change her mind. She did her job, being the great agent she is (or was), and finished everything yesterday. As she handed the case report to her boss, a letter of resignation was attatched to it. Today she only came in to gather the rest of her stuff from her office and tie up any loose ends, and say goodbye to her coworkers.

She didn’t have that many things in her office. She kept it simple, nothing too personal. She didn’t even need a box, she had cleared most of the framed honors yesterday. She looked through the rest of the office to see if she forgot anything. She checked the drawers of her desk and in one of them there was something she’d left yesterday, not knowing whether to leave it there, throw it out or take it with her. It was a watch. She hesitated.

“Oh what the hell” she said as she took it and put it in her pocket.

Finally she was done. She didn’t even stop to look at the now empty office. She was quite done, she had been for a while. She started walking down the corridor. As she reached the first floor she glanced at her watch.

“11am, not too bad” she mumbled to herself.

She looked up and a few meters right in front of her she saw a man. They locked eyes and something felt so familiar, so nice, so heartwarming. A smile formed on the man’s face.

“My my my, what a sight for sore eyes” she said with a huge smile which almost made her chuckle.

“Sad to hear your eyes are sore” he said and chuckled a little bit himself while going in for a hug. He smelled like he always had (she could never tell the exact composition, but it reminded her of cardamom and cedar) and she found it comforting in a way, especially on this day.

“How have you been?” she asked pulling away from the hug.

“I’ve..” he hesitated for a bit while looking at her. “I just resigned. Had enough of this bullshit”

“Oh wow. How come? I heard you did a great jo-”

“I did what I had to do. Or at least what seemed right to do” he said as he looked at the floor. “Anyway, what about you, how have you been?” he asked trying to change the subject.

“Oh I... I actually quit today too” she said, with a little quiver in her voice.

The man looked at her and raised an eyebrow. This not only surprised him, but made him a little bit upset. He was never big on picking up emotions and feelings, but this just felt somehow a bit off.

“You? Quitting? That doesn’t seem like you”

“Well, I had enough of this bullshit too”. She forced a smile.

“So, are you done for today then?”

“Yeah, pretty much so. I was just about to head out. Go...home.” she said with a sudden wave of sadness washing over.

“Wanna get a drink?” He thought that whatever she was going through could be washed away with a drink, at least for a moment.

“It’s like 11 am”

“Right... and I forgot you don’t drink”

“Yeah, I don’t drink. So how about some coffee?”

“Yeah, sure”

“Javier Peña, man of many words, like always” she smiled with some memories flooding her mind.

“Shut it” he said smiling, feeling surprisingly blissful at the sight of her smiling.

------------------------------------

“So why did you quit?” Javier asked bluntly.

“Straight to the point, huh”

He tilted his head a bit and smiled.

“It just doesn’t seem like you. You always seemed to love the job, the rush it gave you”

“It did once. But it was getting too much. And I couldn’t take it after I lost my partner” she said with a shaky voice. She visibly got upset, but cleared her throat “sorry” she smiled.

“No, it’s ok. We don’t have to talk if you do-”

“No it’s fine. I should talk about it. It’s been months. And the longer I keep it to myself the worse it’ll be”

Just as she was about to begin talking the waiter came and brought their drinks.

“Thank you” she said to the waiter and flashed a smile. Javier always loved how she was kind like that.

“Black coffee? I thought you hated straight up black coffee”

“Well, I thought I’d spice up my life with something I don’t usually get�� she said and took a sip, regret forming on her face.

“How’s that spice?” Javier said trying not to laugh.

“It’ll... It’ll grow on me”. They both giggle.

“I’ve heard that many times before. It’s been years and still no progress” he said still trying to control the slight chuckle.

“It’s really been years, hasn’t it?” she said and looked at him. They both stared into each other’s eyes for a bit, some form of nostalgia washing over both of them, until she reached out into her pocket and pulled something out. “Speaking of years, or well, time I guess. Here’s what I found”. She showed Javier that silver watch she took from her drawer before she left the office.

“No way.. is that? Is that my watch?” he said and reach out for it. She handed him the watch, their hands touching for a bit and she remembered that day.

------------------------------------

It was a hot summer day and the car surely wasn’t parked in a shade before they got in it.

“Oh fuck” Javier said as he sat behind the wheel.

“You could actually cook something in here” she said and fanned herself with her hand.

They sat in silence for a bit. Javier rubbed his face with his hands while she sat on the passenger side with the door wide open, rubbing her right temple.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Javier asked as he looked over to her.

“Yeah, I’m fine. He knocked the wind out of me, but everything seems fine”

“He would have thrown you out the window”

“He would have done a lot more, if it weren’t for your quick thinking. Thanks by the way”

“That’s the least I could do for a partner” Javier said as he looked her up and down.

They sat in the silence for a little bit.

“He tore off my watch, broke it” she said as she rubbed her left wrist, which most likely hurt since her facial expression shifted once she touched it. “It was my dad’s gift” she said with sadness in her voice.”I have a date tonight, and I don’t even know what time it is” she smiled a bit, thinking to herself that it was a bit absurd to think about such a thing after all that just happened.

Javier looked at his watch.

“Well it’s currently 6:47pm. And as I remember you have that date at 8pm.” Javier looked at his watch for a bit too long and unclasped it. “Here, take it” he said holding out his watch.

“What? Javi, I don’t need a watch that desperately, I’ll manage”

“Just take it for tonight, I know you don’t wanna be late, you like that guy. And we always get too focused on paper work to pay attention to the lobby clock”

She looked at his hand with his watch in it and thought for a moment before reaching out and touching Javier’s hand.

-------

“Some last day of trainee work that was” Javier said placing the watch on the table and bringing her back to present day. It seemed like he was reliving that same moment. “And you’ve kept the watch for so long”

“I forgot to return it the next day. And then we were transfered to different locations. I couldn’t just throw it out. I always wanted to return it.”

“It stayed with you for that long you should keep it” Javier said and took a sip of his coffee.

“Well it did get me through that date”

“Some date that was. You married the guy” he said with some heartache and bitterness, regretting his words seconds after as he cursed at himself, he should’ve thought more before speaking, he didn’t want to upset her.

“Some marriage that was. We ultimately got divorced” she took a sip of her coffee to wash away those rancid words with the bitter liquid, but decided that she hated it.

“Sorry for bringing it up” Javier said and looked at his own coffee cup. He felt like he was hitting all of the wrong spots today. Like poking a wounded animal with a stick. He didn’t want to do that. He’s been fond of her from their academy days and the feeling always increased with their every meeting, especially when they moved up from being just trainees to special agents.They didn’t get to see each other as much, but they would run into each other from time to time, catch up. The last time they had a catching up session like this was after the Escobar case, right before Javi went to spend some time back at his hometown.

“No, it’s fine.. It’s fine. So what are you going to do now that you’re free?” she emphasised the word free.

“I’m going back to Laredo. Gonna spend some time with my dad, help him out. He’s not getting any younger. What about you?”

“Oh, I don’t....know” she said as she twisted the cup of coffee in her hands.

Javier didn’t like this mood she was in. Quitting her job, not having a plan on what to do next. She was always one step ahead, organised. He knew that something was wrong and it broke his heart. She was probably hurting, as he guessed.

“Why don’t you come to Laredo with me for a while?” this time he said it after some thought, but still it felt like a wild card to him.

She looked up at him, with surprise on her face.

“Javi I-”

“I’m sure some fresh air and good company would do you go. We have plenty of room at home, you’d be welcome. And you don’t have any plans so” he clears his throat “I think..I’d be a good..idea”

“But, Javi, I wouldn’t want t-”

“You won’t be bothering anyone”

“What about your dad? I wouldn’t want to impose”

“Trust me, he likes company. So what do you say?”

“I mean it’s a big deal”

“It’s really not. Just for a couple of weeks”

“Ok, fine” she said as she took the watch that was still laying on the table and put it in her pocket.

“Great” Javier said as he took a sip of his coffee. He finally felt some relief in his heart.

------------------------------------

When she got back home it was already 5pm. Where did the time go? They spent their time talking about their academy days, and their trainee days, also talking a bit about the trip.

“What did I get myself into” she said as she poured herself a glass of water.

She brushed a hand over the side of her blazer and was reminded of the watch that was still in her pocket. She took it out and looked at it, caressing it with her thumb as a smile grew on her face. And to think she wanted to throw it away. Gosh, what a foolish move would that have been. She never realises just how much she had missed him until they meet again and this time was to exception.

“Yeah... Some date that was” she said as she sat at the kitchen table still looking at the watch, contemplating the events of today. She stopped her thoughts and realised what she actually had agreed to do - travel to Laredo with Javi- and laughed to herself.

“Well... maybe it’ll be fun” she said to herself, as she took a nother sip of water, with somewhat forced positivity, but excitement too.

#Javier Peña #Javier Peña x OC #Narcos #fanfic

13 notes · View notes

letstalkaboutshtufff · 5 years

Text

Geralt x reader We're Married? Part 2

Ok here part 2! Its probably crap but anyway...

part 1

Pairing: Geralt x reader

Warnings: Blood, cursing, mentions of past sexual abuse, violence

**************************************

The second you entered the hall was the second you forgot who you were supposed to be..

"HOLY SHI-" a rough hand quickly clasped your mouth shut. "If you wouldnt give us away in the first 5 seconds that would be terrific" Geralt muttered.

"Mmmph mmmph- alright alright sorry" he removed his hand. You sighed and looked around, more quietly this time. You'd been to a party like this before, well snuck into a party like this before.. but never this lavish.

The royal family spared no expense it seemed considering every inch of the great hall was exquisitely decorated. Long tables were lined with delectable looking dishes, which you would definitely visit later...

And there were many eating tables that had beautiful flower petals atop them. In between was a large area which was meant for socializing and dancing most likely. Boy did you feel out of place..

The man on your arm felt the same you guessed by the way his face contorted watching all the "fancy people" socialize. "I have a bad feeling.." he spoke quietly to himself.

Curious you turned to him "why do you say that?"

His eyes scanned the room suspiciously, "Because something's not adding up.."

"Y/n listen to me" he suddenly turned to you seriously.

"Hmm?" You eyes rose

"This thing..whatever it is..is different from what we've encountered before" he started

"Yeah I know that.." What was he getting at?

He grunted before continuing, "Promise me something" he said with earnest eyes which was incredibly rare for the witcher. It always made you soften tho.

"Sure anything.." you were worried now.

"When the monster shows up-whatever it is. You will leave with Jaskier"

"Except that" you deadpanned. "Are you crazy?? Why would I leave??" You unlinked your arms and faced him fully.

He pressed his lips tightly and led you to a corner away from people who began to notice the dispute.

Jaskier sensing the rising tension, stepped away.

"Y/n listen to me" he said firmly, "we don't know what we are dealing with, and for that reason it's not safe for you"

You threw up your arms in disbelief, "When has monster hunting ever been safe Geralt?!"

He huffed, clenching his jaw, "You will leave when it shows up and that's final" his tone leaving no room for argument.

You decided causing a scene would not be wise so you settled for giving geralt your best, "I'm angry and this isnt over face" before swiftly walking away.

"Y/n!" He caught up with you and just as he grabbed your arm an older couple blocked your path.

"Why I don't believe we've met before?" The older man dressed in blue said with bright eyes.

Geralt forced a smile and stood beside me, "I suppose we just havent had the pleasure yet"

"Well allow me to introduce myself and my dear wife count and countess Barano at your service" he bowed his head slightly and his wife followed suit.

"A pleasure" you chimed in moving slightly away from Geralt. "This is my husband, sir Bartholomew Tristan, and I'm lady Lina Tristan." You gestured lazily beside you.

The next half hour went similarly like this, a new couple introducing themselves every now and then, and talking about nonsense. You could hardly focus on anything they were saying. All you could think about was how Geralt was being an absolute arse wipe.

How dare he try to keep you away from all the action?! You're training had been relentless since the incident with the visser. And you were more than ready to fight anything that came your way. Geralt has been this way the last few missions. Although he never told you to completely leave before. Maybe a stay back or a few to many be carefuls. But run away?? What's the point of training if you couldn't even use it!

The dinging of a bell shook you from your thoughts. Dinner time..great more boring conversations with people you didnt like.

Playing the part of the ever so doting husband, Geralt pulled out a seat for you. You didnt even spare him a glance as you sat down. He sighed as he sat beside you. Throughout the evening he had tried to talk to you but it always ended badly. You were both pissed and stubborn..

"Y/n-" he began but was cutt of by lady borano.

"So tell us about yourselves, it's not often we meet new friends." She smiled sincerely.

Geralt turned with a hand in the air, "What would you like to know?"

"How long have the two of you been married?"

Geralt thought back to the extra information Yavert told him, "3 years"

" Ah still practically newlyweds" sir Borano joked.

"Any children?" A beautifully wicked idea formed in your mind,

"Unfortunately no, my dear husband here can't perform."

The sound of a feminine gasp and the whip of his head made you smirk as you took a sip of the wine before you. Its contents easing your mind, and your tongue for that matter. He forced a smile in an attempt to ease the awkwardness.

" ah I see..." she responded quietly." Well children aren't everything" she also made an effort to improve the mood.

"And thank god for that, because she'd make a terrible mother".

This time you were the one whipping your head around nearly choking on your drink. That little!! "I'm sure that's not true.."sir Barono offered with an uncomfortable smile.

"Well you can't raise children by lazing around all day and eating crumpets" he laughed while the others laughed along too, awkwardly that is..

"Well at least you know where I am, on the other hand I sit at home all day wondering what you and our servant boy could possibly be doing taking so long attending to "business". All eyes shifted to a fumbling Jaskier who stood behind us, "that's uh...not...she didn't..." he tried defending himself.

If looks could kill you would have been a goner. Geralt fists clenched beneath the table. Good, he deserves it for being a butthead.

In a few sentences you had emasculated him and implied he was having a passionate affair with the servant boy. Not bad y/n, not bad at all..

To the relief of the table, the royal family entered cutting off all conversation as everyone stood up. Curiously you peeked over the shoulders in front of you to get a closer look.

The king and queen of servia were announced along with their daughter the princess Annora. She held her head high and had an unreadable expression. She was very beautiful, long flowing hair, slim figure, beautiful blue dress. Total cliche if you ask me. But one thing stood out, the cute little fluffy puppy she held in her arms, he wore a little golden collar with a bell. Awwww litte baby pooooo.

The rest of the family was dressed obnoxiously with large puffy sleeves and glittering jewelry. No question who they were. They were led to a large table in the front center of the hall with 6 ornately decorated chairs. Makeshift thrones basically. They stood in front of them but didnt sit, which meant that you couldn't either.

A moment later another set of doors opened. In walked what you could only assume was the king, queen, and prince of Targeris. There was nothing special about them, without the fancy outfits they would've looked like any other couple. The sons attention was immediately on the princess. His eyes raked over her body without a hint of subtlety. Ew have some class dude. She on the other hand kept a straight face, not acknowledging him in the slightest.

Finally they sat down and dinner went by rather uneventfully. You and geralt hadn't said a word, although the tension was definitely still there.

Most couples had taken to dancing for the rest of the night, you however felt suffocated and decided to escape outside for a breathe of fresh air.

This was not how you wanted the night to go, you let out a sigh, watching the air turn slightly foggy. Why was Geralt acting like this? Why doesnt he trust you? What's it gonna take for him to see you as an ally instead of a weight he has to carry around?!?!

Ughhhhh you dragged your fingers across your face and through your hair. This was so frustrating! Leaning your head back you closed your eyes and let the cool air wash over your flushed face, relaxing you slightly.

When you opened your eyes again a flash of blue caught your attention. You peered downwards leaning over the balcony slightly to see. Oh it's just some couple from the party..

Wait a minute..

You leaned over more narrowing your eyes, Is that?...no way it can't be...but...you quickly walked back into the party, eyes aimed at the royal families. C'mon where are you??

You scanned every inch searching for the princess but she was no where to be found. The other members were deep in a political conversation and hardly noticed that their daughter had snuck away.

So that was her?? What was she doing? Feeling something amiss you made your way to the entrance and down the long staircase. Ugh stupid heels, you kicked them aside on the steps feeling much more free.

Oh I hope no one trips on them..oops...

You ran around to the side of the castle where the balcony was above you. Frowning when all you saw was an empty garden. Now where did she go?? You stepped further into the garden listening for any out of place sounds.

All that could be heard was the wind rustling some rose bushes and the chirping of crickets.

A girlish giggle made you spring into action. Following the sound you discreetly peeked around a column of the garden.

There stood the princess flirtatiously pressed up again one of the Servian ambassadors you were forced to socialize with earlier.

The man himself was wrinkly and balding, why was the princess interested in him when all night she seemed to detest everything?

Why did her laugh feel...wrong somehow? "Let's go somewhere more...private" she smirked pulling him by his wrist. The puppy you noticed was there as well following behind her. What a well trained dog...

Lifting up your dress again you followed the couple at a distance until you saw them stop at a hanging tapestry on the wall. What are they doing?

Annora smiled and lifted back the tapestry, it revealed a small opening only big enough for one person. She led the way and they soon dissapeared from sight.

After waiting a few moments to be safe, you stepped lightly after them. The opening they went through was pitch dark and every bone in your body was telling you to turn back.

Then you heard the giggles again, sucked it up and moved forward.

You kept walking until you ran into something soft.

What? Oh? Another tapestry? You shoved the material aside and it took your eyes a moment to adjust to the light.

You were in a candlelit hallway with several doors on either side. You heard a door click close and laughter coming from inside.

Hmm well you couldn't just barge in now.. I guess she does like him..wonder what her fiance would think of this. Well anyway it wasn't any of your business..

What a waste of time geez.. you spin around in the direction you came about to pull back the fabric.

"WAAHHHHH" you jerked around when a loud scream broke out. And not the fun kind either.

Without a second thought you kicked open the door with a bang.

"What the fu-" the princess snapped her head around with a growl. "Who the hell are you?!" She hissed.

"Better question, what the hell are you doing?!" You questioned eyes wide in disbelief at what you saw. Annora had bound and gagged the pitiful man. He was tied to the end bed post and sat whimpering on the floor. Why was he so afraid?

"Doesn't matter, you're going to die soon anyway" she smirked and her eyes flicked to something over your shoulder. It was then you realized there was another presence in the room.

Whipping your head around you came face to face with a four legged beast. Its ribs protruded crudely and its body was covered in a sickly black goo. Its eyes were red and fiery and the realization came crashing on to you when you saw the same golden collar around its neck. Fuck...

You blindly felt around for the short sword hidden under your dress. You just managed to grab it in time before the "puppy" lunged. Swinging the sword you caught its face. It hissed in pain and you took the chance to bolt through the door.

A loud growl erupted behind you. You sprinted further down the hallway and about had a heart attack when you saw Jaskier casually walking. His eyes lit up when he saw you but then widened in horror. You grabbed his arm probably giving him whiplash and the both of your were running for your lives. There was no way you could fight that beast in the tiny hallway.

"Jaskier what are you doing here?!?!" You shouted panicking.

"I-I was just following you!! I saw you leave all of the sudden and got worried!!" You both sharply turned into a corner. Thank god for these long ass hallways.

"So mind explaining WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!!" He screamed frantically.

"Princess bad, monster bad, I'll explain the rest later when we're not about to be dog food!!" Fuck you were approaching a dead end, think think think!

"GROWWWWWWWWL" the beast was gaining on you two. You did the only thing you could think of, which was shoving jaskier into an open room and spin around to face the beast head on,

"Barricade yourself in Jaskier!" You shouted.

"W-what no! I'm not leaving you" he yelled back.

Ugh idiot! Theres no point of us both getting chomped! "Then do something to help!" He looked around frantically. Something to help something to help.."GERALT!!!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

Youd be lucky if he could hear that..

The beast was finally upon you, its row of razor teeth glinting in the candlelight. Fuck.. one bite and youd be literally chow.

You braced yourself as it charged forward, it leaped up and you waited until that moment to run and slide under it. You were successful but the damb beast was quick to turn around and catch your shoulder with a sharp claw.

"Aghh" you let out a welp of pain as it pinned you down.

"Y/N!" Jaskier shouted worriedly

You gripped your sword and thrust blindly upwards. It howled as the sword ripped through its flesh.

It reacted by throwing you across the hall. You rolled over in pain. Fuck, bad dog.. Its attention was on the frozen Jaskier who lamely held up a candle stick in defense.

"Jaskier run!" You winced getting up again and charging at the monster, you picked up your fallen sword and lunged onto it's back stabbing its head.

"GROOOOOOOOWL" it wildly whipped its head side to side trying to throw me off.

"JASKIER GO NOW!" he wasted no time and bolted around, "I'll go find Geralt!!" His voice faded away with his hurried footsteps.

You couldn't hold on much longer due to the stinging in your shoulder.

You fell off and rolled away nearly getting hit again by its claws.

"Y/N stay down!" A large whoosh of air shot over you as you pressed yourself flat on the ground.

"Geralt!" You exclaimed in relief. He ran over to you and helped you up. Before he could ask if you were alright the monster shrieked. God why wont it just die?!

Geralt grunted pulling out another sword and stepping in front of you.

Jaskier gently pulled you back, "Are you ok? Your shoulder-" he began but you gasped,

"Fuck!" You left him bewildered as you pushed him aside and ran back the way you came. The princess, the man, just what was going on?!?!

You flew into the room, eyes locked on the princess who stood over the unconscious man.

She tilted her head in your direction, and you narrowed your eyes noticing something that wasnt there before. Her eyes were an electric purple, and her hair was flowing around her slightly.

"You're....a mage?" You asked completely confused.

She chuckled sinisterly, "you managed to escape my dear pet, no one has been able before" she walked a couple steps in your direction.

"No matter, I'll finish you off myself" she raised a manicured hand up and the air around you seemed to get thinner.

You tried to step back but some invisible force was holding you in place. Fuck it was getting harder to breathe. Geralt I hate being the one needing to be saved but your appearance would be much appreciated.

"I-if I'm going to die anyway, tell me what's going on".you said in a hoarse whisper. The least you could do is have her distracted why you tried to find a way out of her spell.

"Hmm well I suppose it would be entertaining to watch the horrified look on your face". The side of her mouth flitted up.

"Lemme start by introducing myself, my name is Lisanna, and you're half right, I AM a mage, the princess I'm currently controlling however is nothing more that the poor dear that was too desperate to know better"

"W-what?!" You were on the floor now starting to feel lightheaded, you milked it a little so she wouldnt notice your hand creeping to the back of your head un clasping the long hair pin.

"Yes, it was some time ago I came to the princess in a dream. You see I was cursed along time ago, my soul was trapped outside my body, so I improvised. I summoned the power of the dark spirits and was able to enter whatever vessel I so choose. The only downside is they had to be dying or willing which was very annoying. If the vessel I'm in dies, I die along with it. And as you could imagine there weren't many willing people. But that's when I came across dear Annora here." She gestured to herself.

"T-the p-princess was willing??" you coughed out confused.

"Well, when I found her she was desperate you see. Her marriage had just been announced and she was willing to do anything to escape it. I very graciously, offered a solution. Let me temporarily control your body, and I'll make sure no one forces you to do anything you dont want to again."

You gripped the pin and brought it down by your side, "that still doesnt explain everything? The dissapeances the-" you coughed again.

She laughed to herself, "Oh that? That's just good old fashioned revenge, you see our poor princess has suffered at the hands of these perverted old men for years. No one cared enough to believe her, in fact they shamed her. Does that seem fair? No it doesn't" she kneeled before you and tilted your chin upwards.

"I rather enjoyed kidnapping them and torturing them till I put them out of their misery days later. It was the perfect plan, Runald, got a little excited though and killed the man right here on the floor. It was a truly gruesome sight, but dogs will be dogs" she shrugged as if it was the most casual thing in the world.

"W-why would y-you help?" You whispered shakily.

"Well you see it's all part of the bigger picture, the king is the one who needs to suffer" a look of disgust flashed across her face.

NOW! You jabbed the pin in her neck and the spell dissipated instantly. "YOU BITCH" she shrieked crawling back in pain clutching the bloody pin.

You gained your strength and stood back up running to her. "Why the king?! Answer me!" You tackled her binding her arms with the curtain tassels.

She struggled violently, her neck bleeding profusely. "If you keep moving you'll just bleed out faster.." you glared at her.

"Tell me everything and I might save you.." you stood back up allowing her some space.

"He deserves it! He fucking betrayed me!" She said angry tears beginning to fall down her flushed face. "He said he loved me! He said he'd leave her! And then she got pregnant and he threw me out like garbage! He let all those stupid men influence him! I begged him! And when I tried to kill his bitch which I had every right to do, he got a mage to put a curse on me! He has to suffer!! They all do!" She was shaking now.

You thought over her words for a moment, "So the men..the murders.." You couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"Two birds with one fucking stone, the princess and me have similar interests, we deserve justice! It doesnt matter how it happens, one by one or an all out war! They all must suffer! We didnt deserve this!" You looked down quietly ,

"You're right... you both didnt deserve that, but this.." you gestured to the unconscious man, "is not justice, it makes you like them, criminals.."

"So what!? They can call us whatever we want, it doesnt mean anything! If they get what they deserve they can call us whatever the fuck they want!" The angry tears were streaming now.

"No" you shook your head softly. "It does matter, because it's not over for you yet. I won't let it be.." you crouched beside her, "I'm sorry for what they did to you... to the both of you... but there has to be a way..a way to move past the pain and move forward"

She scoffed, "What the hell would you know! You've never suffered like I have".

Memories of your master flashed through your mind and without a second thought you threw your arms around her shaking form.

"I do.." you whispered quietly.."pulling her tightly against you, "Someone came along...someone stronger, and prettier, and better than me...and he threw me aside...like everything we ever went through never happened...he was everything to me and I thought I was everything to him..I felt like the whole world was going to collapse onto me. For a long time I was lost..and so so angry. I too wanted revenge..more than anything..but then I realized I couldn't let him control me anymore..that the best revenge was to live a better life. A life where I didnt have to depend on some stupid guy to give it meaning. And I was ok thinking that I would be alone for the rest of my days. But then things changed because I made them.. I found people who are truly good. And now I thank god that I didnt let myself be consumed by my feelings of rage, because now I'm truly happy...and I promise you" you squeezed her tighter, "your story is not going to end this way.." .

Her soft sobs grew louder as she buried her head in your chest. You smiled gently and with one hand untied her bindings. She immediately wrapped her arms around you and let out all the pain and sorrow she had built up.

"Its going to be ok" you gently cupped her head, "I promise".

When she finally looked up, her tear filled eyes met yours, "It hurts so much" you gently stroked her tears away, "I know, but amazing girls like us cant spend the rest of their lives obsessing over some scumbags now can we?" You laugh softly.

She matches your smile and leans in close to you, "thank you..." she whispers kissing your cheek.

A visible purple aura formed around her before altogether gathering and leaving the princess. You smiled sadly and watched Lisannas soul dissapear through the window.

The princess's body went limp in your arms, a moment later she stirred, "where am I?" She whispered confused and exausted. "Don't worry..you're safe now, everythings going to be alright" you held her close and tied a piece of fabric from your dress on her neck wound. Luckily it wasnt too deep.

That same moment 2 very disgruntled men rushed in, "Y/n?!" Geralt came over and knelt beside the two of you.

"I'm alright..we both are.." you smiled at him. "I'm getting the feeling we missed something.." Jaskier raised his brows looking at the man rousing on the floor.

You couldn't help but let out a laugh as the both of them gave you a weird look.

**************************************

After the events you had a long talk with the princess. You were proud as she stood in front of the room and told everyone of the scandalous crimes that the king didnt bat an eyelash towards. Anybody who looked as if they were going to protest were promptly shut up with one stern glare from the witcher.

Everyone agreed that a new era of peace could not begin with a foundation of crimes. The king and queen were arrested by Targeris guards and the princess was crowned queen right then and there.

There was actually alot of protest but a certain mage was able to convince everyone. Something about making the room dark and the floor quake made everyone agree that you couldn't argue with destiny. Thanks Lisanna, I hope to see you again some day. Well as long as your not possessing someone against their will...then again how will she really live without doing that? Eh whatever shes good now, its probably fine...probably..

The princess-well queen now decided that she would not marry the prince, however the peace had to continue. Everyone was too scared to "go against destiny" again so everything seemed to be ok for now.

As for the missing officials, we explained there was a monster but we swiftly took care of them. Actually, doggy poo was turned back to normal when the suffocating spell broke and he sat wagging happily by the queens side. Usually jobs didnt end this happy. Not bad y/n, not bad at all..

*************************

"Ouch.." you wince as rough hands rub a cool salve on your aching shoulder.

"Sorry.." Geralt apologized and tried his best to be gentle.

The mood was peaceful, the only thing illuminating the two of you was a few flickering candles. The two of you sat quietly on a bed in one of the guest rooms. You felt more vulnerable than usual as the dress you wore was pooled on the floor. A thin strapless slip was the only thing covering you. Geralt was gentle as he tended to your shoulder. You felt ashamed at the way you behaved earlier. He was being annoyingly protective yes but..you may have taken it too far.

"Geralt?" You said quietly turning to face him.

"Hmm?" His golden eyes like fire in the flickering light.

"I'm sorry for the things I said...and how I acted...but I'm not sorry for getting upset at you telling me to leave." I said truthfully.

He sighed and I expected a protest, "No I should be the one apologizing.." he finished wrapping your shoulder and gently stroked the bandage

"I know telling you to back off was unfair but.." he looked troubled.

"But?" You urged him on.

He looked down, "Everytime we encounter another monster, I cant help imagine that its going to end up with you almost dying" he looked back up and the look in his eyes was so raw you caught your breath. He was referring to the last time when the visser had almost killed you.

"Geralt..." you whispered leaning forward so his forehead was touching yours. "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere..." you placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned back smiling, "Besides who else are you going to engage in witty banter with? Jaskier?" You teased and a corner of his mouth lifted. "Dont think I've forgotten what you said.." he raised a brow.

"Hey it's not all my fault! Just dont leave me out of things again and we'll have no issues"

"Alright..I promise I won't do that again ok?" He offered.

You nodded your head happy now that you had finally come to an agreement.

He shook his head, "Well at least if you're by me, I can keep an eye on you......speaking of..."

Uh oh bad feeling. Geralt was shifting into scolding mode you could feel it..

You scooted off the bed slightly ready to escape if need be, "Why the hell did you go after the princess by yourself!?" He was more stern now.

"Jaskier? Is that you calling? I'm coming!" You dashed off the bed swinging open the door, "We can talk later Geralt! Jaskier needs me!"

You bolted down the hall ignoring his bark of protest behind you, "Y/N! Don't--ugh" he sighed shaking his head. That woman was gonna be the end of him...but he couldn't help the smile plastered on face. His fingers gently touched where her forehead was. She sure was a special one. He grunted and left the room, now where did she run off too...

*******************

Ok so there it is! I didn't feel very confident about this story but wanted to finish it anyway. Hope it was ok xoxo lemme know if I should write more stories, till next time!

@marvels-gurl @shane-isa-shame @waitingtobeimpressed @viking-raider @dream-alittlebiggerdarling

440 notes · View notes

epcot-anthony · 4 years

Note

ok since I need to invest my time in something Janthony other than the Anthony scandal because it’s still causing me anxiety here’s some reasons why and why not I think Jasmine is pregnant

Reasons why

new wardrobe that is noticeably looser than her previous clothes that she’s just now started wearing

^^^the above is significant because while she didn’t wear loose clothes very soon after coming back from budapest it’s rather recent. and if we’re going off of emmy’s night she’d be a little over 3 months pregnant (or 12 weeks) and on average first time moms usually start to show between 12-16 weeks. however I would guess she’ll start showing showing second tri if/when she’s pregnant mostly because if her height and body type

they’ve been providing less content and if u look closely almost every single picture she has posted in the past month has had something covering her midsection or the picture has been taken from the waist up. the exceptions including the beach pictures (in which she’s wearing noticeably looser clothing than she has in the past.) Looking at the pictures of her in the blind spotting pictures (where she has the braids i don’t remember what they’re called i’m sorry) her whole body is pictures BUT if you’ve seen meghan trainers pregnancy reveal she was 7 1/2 weeks pregnant and no one knew until her reveal because of the angles and clothes she used to hide it. (check her instagram or tiktok to see) so it’s possible to hide a pregnancy from the front, especially when you’re curvy which they both are.

Reasons why not:

realistically if she were to be pregnant I honestly doubt it would be from emmy’s night. mostly because they were both obviously exhausted, emotional and I can’t imagine the chances of them getting pregnant from that one encounter are very high

it’s always possible that she’s been pregnant for a shorter amount of time or even a little longer. but probably not by much since if it was much longer she likely would have been showing when she did her online concert (maybe i don’t know much about pregnant women or pregnancy in general.)

In the live with Jaylen she’s wearing a pretty usual outfit (the yellow crop top and black jeans) and we see a pretty clear side view with no noticeable bump, again though it’s possible this happened later than emmy night (if it’s happened at all) so she could be only a month or so and be buying loose clothes now so people don’t get suspicious later on

Thé consensus: I’d say it’s about a 75/25 or 80/20 chance that she’s pregnant. the deleting of that one black and white post was odd, and the change in wardrobe definitely makes me wonder buts it’s also possible she just wanted to try something new

Omg an entire analysis! All of these are wonderful points!! I may be wrong, but wouldn’t it be a bit more than 3 months if it was a Budapest baby? Maybe 4? Idk this month has also felt so long so I may just be confused lol. But I will say that an Emmys night baby isnt as possible, but I don’t agree that it’s impossible (like, that they weren’t doing anything). She left the next day I think, so I think *something* probablyyy at least occurred that day because they were about to be long distance for so long. But it is a good point that it would be very random for it to happen really at all right now. Very good points though!! We love an analysis!

14 notes · View notes

kyber-kisses · 4 years

Text

Southern Nights (3/4)

Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: a little angst, but mostly fluff🤷‍♀️

Summary: After a situation with the BMoL, Dean finds himself running towards the person he fears for the most besides his brother. But even when he finds her safe and alive, he can see that something isnt right.

A/n: So remember when I said it was gonna be two parts and then I switched it to three? Well now its gonna be four. . .Enjoy!

Part 1 Part 2

There is a split second after the words leave your lips that Dean thinks your joking, but then as he looks at you he can see you are dead serious. You don't make eye contact- instead you focus on the orange tabby still swatting at fireflies.

For as long as Dean and his brother had known you, you had loved hunting. You loved saving people. There was a method to your madness when it came to you constantly being on your feet and finding new cases. Keeping people safe, making the world better. That was what made you happy.

And Dean loved the hell out of you for it.

The older Winchester watched you with a concerned expression, your eyes still having yet to meet his. The glassy look in your pupils was the first thing he noticed though, even as you tried to avert your eyes.

You had been quiet because you were finding it hard to find the right words. The words that would help the person you loved so dearly understand. “You know-” You began, swallowing thickly. “I was supposed to leave her four weeks ago. Four. I was supposed to pack myself into my car and head off on a vetala hunt in Montana. I had my bags packed up and everything.” Taking a deep breath, you looked down at your hands, taking in the callouses and scars a lifetime of hunting had left behind. “And there I was- standing on the front steps, keys in my hand and bags at my feet. . .and I couldn't get myself to go. I knew I should, there was a job that needed to be done.” You shrugged. “But I couldn't do it Dean. I called a hunter friend, informed them of the case and went back inside. I guessed I had hoped the feeling would pass, that I just needed another day. But it didn't.”

Dean wasn’t sure which part broke his heart more, your next words and how your shoulders sagged as you said them or how your voice wavered and the tears finally raced down your face. Maybe it was both- either way it felt like a hot poker had been twisted into his gut.

“I'm crazy tired, Dean. . .and I think I have been for a long time.” Your voice cracked, eyes looking up from your hands and back to the front yard. “I think I’ve been running so hard and so fast for so long that I- that I didn’t realize how tired I was until I was burning on fumes. As much as I love hunting, I think I need to stop.” Your voice cracking once more before falling silent.

oh, Y/N.

“but if you guys need help with this men of letters stuff, I am one hundred percent there-” You quickly added, finally turning to look at him.

“woah, woah, woah hey pump the breaks-” he quickly shook his head as he rose from his spot next to you, only to move and squat down in front of you, his hands on your knees. “Don’t. Sam and I have got that all under control.” Sliding his hand into your own, he gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“But its not fair.”

Deans eyebrows drew together in confusion as he looked up at you. “Whats not fair?”

You inhaled another shaky breath, trying to find some sort of serenity in those jade irises. “I-”

“Take your time. I’m right here.”

For a moment you remained stagnant, gripping Deans hand tightly as if it were a life line. “That I decided to stop while you and Sam are still out there.” You paused when you saw the still clear confusion on his face. “ Dean, I know you're tired too. You even admitted it last night when I brought it up. Its not right that I should get the option to stop when you're in a similar boat. Its not fair.”

Dean couldn't believe the words coming out of your mouth. It was almost like you had stunned him into silence. “Are you saying you feel guilty for putting down your gun?”

“Yes!”

“Don’t be. Don’t.” He repeated, shaking his head again. “Sure I get worn out every once and awhile, sometimes worse than others- but I'm okay.” He gave you one of his soft reassuring smiles before placing a kiss in the center of you palm. “Sam and I can handle the monsters.”

“But-”

“No buts okay?” Slowly rising back to his feet, he extends a hand before pulling you up with him. Dean wrapped an arm around your shoulder before you could stop him, the hunter pulling you in close. Despite the still heavy feeling in your stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of being pressed against him. You sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. “you deserve everything good in this life, Y/N.”

“So do you.” You mumbled, yawning half way through the words.

You're not sure, but you think you can feel Dean smiling against your hairline. Luckily you're correct, your words managing to make something in Dean crack wide open. He lets himself drown for another moment in the complete bliss that is having you in his arm before he prepares himself to pull away, the constant voice in his head reminding him : Arms length away.

Either time had frozen since he pulled you into that hug or you were much more tired than he initially realized, because as he shifted he could feel you sink further into his arms, cheek resting against his chest.

“You falling asleep on me?”

The only response from you was a sleepy mumble, earning a soft chuckle from the older Winchester as he bent slightly to hook an arm underneath your legs, hoisting you up into his arms.

“Alright, let’s get you to bed, Sweetheart.” He mumbled softly against your forehead, placing one last soft kiss there before resting his cheek on your hairline. Using his foot to wedge open the screen door, he slipped inside before softly shutting it behind him. Sam was already passed out on the couch when he passed by, the hunter eventually making it across the living room and into your bedroom before laying you down on the bed.

Dean gifts himself one last look at you before turning to head out the door. He can sleep on the other couch, you deserve to have your bed to yourself even if you rarely sleep in it, plus once again the little voice tells him to not get any closer. Its already hard enough to pull away as it is whenever hes around you.

“Don’t even think about going to sleep on that couch.” You suddenly mumble, face pressed into your pillow, hair already across your face. “Its half the size of you.”

“I thought you were asleep?”

“Nah. I just wanted you to carry me in here.”

That earns a slight chuckle from him, along with a shake of his head. “You sure you want me as a bunk mate? I’ve been told I’m a cuddler.”

“Who the fuck told you that?” You mumbled, slightly confused as to who Dean had been cuddling. You pressed your face further into the pillow.

“. . . my pillow.” Dean huffed as he toed off his boots and against all his better judgment he allows himself to fall into bed besides you. “But it hasn't complained.”

“Mmm, I wonder why.”

You could feel Deans soft chuckle rumble in his chest as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer, allowing you to snuggle into his embrace. You should have pulled way, kept some sort of distance between you . . .but you didn't. After a moment you could feel his fingers brushing through your hair, his attempt no doubt at trying to lull you back to sleep.

“I’m sorry this life has worn so much out of you, Y/N. I really hope you find some peace here.” He spoke softly, pressing another kiss to your temple.

“You could too, you know. Find peace here. . . With me.” You tried, twisting your fingers into the fabric of his t-shirt. It was another moment in which you shouldn't have said anything but you couldn't help it. Staying here with Dean? Now that would be heaven on earth.

“Oh could you imagine that? Me, not doing anything related to hunting? I might go insane.”

“Maybe you could do what Bobby did, give other hunters advice ya know?”

“Yeah, maybe.” You couldn’t see it, but Dean had a faint smile on his lips as he rested his cheek against your head. He had to admit, that did sound nice. A calm life. . . And with you? That was a picture of paradise if he ever imagined one.

“I mean, you already got the grumpy old man part down.” You joked, smiling when you heard Dean suck in air through his teeth.

“Oh, not gonna lie. That one stung a bit.” He grinned.

“I’m just kidding, you know that right?”

“Yeah, yeah I do. Now go to sleep.”

carding your fingers through his short hair, you give him one last sleepy smile through the dark. “Good night Mo Ghraidh.”

Dean hums under your touch, unable to stop himself from smiling when you speak. For all he knows you could be calling him some rude name as a long running joke with yourself, (Because lets be real, that is something you would totally do just to drive him mad.) But then again he wouldn't care if you were because the way the words roll off your tongue brings a sense of calm. Its something reserved just for him, whatever it means.

And he loves it.

“Goodnight Y/N.”

SPN Taglist: (Still Open)

@familybusinesswritingbro@a–1–1–3 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @music-is-all-i-need @agusdoti @callmekda @jordangdelacruz @orphiceseum @andthatsmyworld @marvelfangirllll @fandomnerdespressourself @gladiosamicitias @castielsangelsx @lxstgxrl-ck @tis-i-the-wayward-idgit @amendoise @phoenixuprisingsstuff @ericalynne007 @kaitlaitlaitl @totallyluciferr @supernaturalenchanted @dolanfivsosxox@supernatural-ocs @emptycanvasposts @akshi8278 @defenderrosetyler @heyyy-hey-babyyy @supernaturalenchanted@emptycanvasposts @vicmc624 @all-will-be-well-love@busy-bee-angel-misska @starsandmidnightblue @lilulo-12fanfiction @beanie-beebo @xoxoaudreymarie @greenarrowhead @mrsjenniferwinchester @mysticalfuncollectorus @brebolin @biahblue @noahandthegiraffe @hhiggs @mila-dans @mrsmaybankhere @malindacath

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester one shot #SPN #spn x reader #dean winchester imagine #bi-danvers writing

47 notes · View notes

mychemicalaromanticism · 3 years

Text

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

#cat talks #lore #ok2rb but what a mess this post is

3 notes · View notes

abrakophile · 3 years

Text

I was looking through a bunch of junk and found some letters from my dad when he was in the army. I’m afraid I'll accidently toss them, so maybe I’ll put them here?

OPs Name JUNE 02 03

I LOVE YOU

THIS IS MY NAME IN KURDISH

*my dad wrote his first and last name, and under it, in Kurdish*

ILL TRY AND FIND OUT HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME AND MOMS TOO.

ITS STILL HOT. I WORK AND READ BOOKS TO PASS THE TIME AWAY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? GOOD I HOPE. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? DO YOU EVER HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? TELL THEM I SAID “WASSUP?” NAH, DONT TELL THEM. TELL ME WHAT YOUR THINKING. I’M TRYING TO SEND YOU SOME MORE OF MY DRAWINGS. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DRAW YOU? DID YOU LIKE THE DRAWING I SENT YOU OF YOU NAME? ITS ALRIGHT IF YOU DIDNY. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT ME TO DRAW YOU.

(Flip Page)

THIS IS WEIRD! (The page does not have lines on the left side of it) i WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS PIECE OF PAPER. HaHa

I MISS YOU ALOT. PLEASE SOND ME SOME MORE OF YOUR DRAWINGS, YOU CAN DRAW ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO.

ARE YOU BEING GOOD FOR YOUR MOM? ITS NICE IF YOU HELP HER OUT WHILE I’M AWAY.

HAVE YOU BEEN ANYPLACE NEW? HOW IS SCHOOL GOING FOR YOU? IS MOMMY GOING TO SCHOOL? I KNOW I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WHEN I GET BACK. HOPEFULLY I GET THE CHANCE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS TO KNOW. THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

ALSO, ID LIKE TO DO SOME FISHING? HOW ABOUT YOU? I GUESS ILL END HERE. BE GOOD AND STAY IN SCHOOL. AND JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS.

THEYRE BAD.

I LIVE YOU OP

*hearts and x’s* DADDY

---

(I don’t know if all these pages are in order or if it’s missing any, but this was the letter in the same stack as the last but this one was for my mom. In some places his indents indicate passage of time.)

I HAVENT HAD ANY TIME TO WRITE SINCE WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD, NOT TO MENTION THAT WE CAN’T SEND MAIL WHEN WE’RE MOVING ALL THE TIME.

WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT FIVE OR SIX DAYS, I HAVENT REALLY BEEN COUNTING. I KNOW I TOLD YOU THAT WE’D BE IN KUWAIT FOR A WHILE, BUT THAT WAS SO YOU WOULDNT BE WORRIED. I’M GOING TO KEEP THIS LETTER THOUGH, TILL I GET HOME.

ABOUT TWO NIGHTS AGO, WE DROVE THROUGH BAGDHAD, SOMEBODY SAID THAT THERE WERE PILED BODIES, I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE.

AND I GUESS YESTERDAY, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE SAID THEY SAW A MISSILE OR SOEMTHING SHOT AT US. I WAS TRYING TO FIX A TRUCK SO I DIDNT SEE IT.

ITS NOT AS DUSTY HERE IN IRAQ. IT REMINDS ME OF THE CONVOYS IN KOREA.

MOST OF THE PEOPLE WILL WAVE “HI”. SOME OTHERS DONT.

I SAW A KID OPEN HIS HAND ONCE WHILE MOVING, AND IT SAID “BUSH” THAT WAS KIND OF COOL.

OH YEAH. HERES A STORY. WHILE OUT DOING A MISSION, ONE OF OUR “BRADLEY” TANKS FIRED ON AN ENEMY AMMO TRUCK AND CLIPPED A KID. THE ROUNDS BLEW ONE OF HIS LEGS OFF AND SOME OF THE OTHER, FROM THE KNEE DOWN. SO THE MEDICS PICKED HIM UP AND BROUGHT HIM TO OUR RECONCOLIDATING POINT FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. I GUESS HE EVENTUALLY DIED FROM LOSS OF BLOOD THE NEXT NIGHT AND YESTERDAY THEY TOOK HIM OUT AND BURIED HIM.

ALSO WE PICKED UP ABOUT 25-30 P.O.W.s AND SENT THEM SOUTH.

IT GETS PRETTY COLD AT NIGHT. AND THE DAY’S ARE VERY HOT.

SINCE WE LEFT KUWAIT ITS BEEN ME AND MENDOZA IN THE FIVE TON WRECKER AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT ITS BEEN EXCITING. WE KEPT GETTING SEPERATED FROM THE CONVOY AND BREAKING DOWN. BUT I THINK THAT WERE BETTER NOW. HOPEFULLY.

IM STILL WAITING TO BE AMBUSHED TO MAKE ALL THIS SEEM REAL TO ME. A PART OF ME WANTS IT AND ANOTHER DOESNT.

AND IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY OUR UNIT HAS TO STAY IN UNIFORM, EVERYONE ELSE WEARS T-SHIRTS AND BANDENA’S AND RAGS ON THEIR HEAD

WERE STILL GOING NORTH. NOBODY KNOWS HOW LONG WE’LL STAY. ITS NOT THAT BAD HERE. MEANING, IT COULD BE WORSE.

I USED A “SHIT-CHAIR”. ITS JUST A METAL CHAIR WITH A HOLE CUT IN THE MIDDLE AND THE SEAT FROM A TOILET BOLTED TO IT, GROSS.

HELICOPTERS CAN BE HEARD ALL DAY AND NIGHT. I GOT TO SEE THEM DROP BOMBS ALL DAY ABOUT 3 DAYS AGO, FROM A DISTANCE OF COURSE.

ILL BE DRIVING AGAIN, IN A MINUTE. PROBABLY RE-FUEL AND BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN. IM ENJOYING IT.

I HAVE 8 MAGAZINES FULL OF ROUNDS. NO GRENADES, BUT I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.

SOMETIMES IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.

I GUESS ILL END IT HERE FOR NOW

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TWO TWICE IF NOT THRICE AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT MISS ME TOO.

HELLO AGAIN. WERE SOMEWHERE NEAR TIKRI + MOSUL. YESTERDAY, ME + MENDOZA WENT LOOKING FOR MOMENTO’S. WE BROKE A LOCK TO A NEAR BY BUNKER AND FOUND 6 A.K.47s! BUT ON OUR WAY BACK TO TURN THEM IN, MAJOR TATU GOT THEM FROM US. I WAS SO PISSED. BUT I GOT A GAS MASK w/ FILTER, A FULL MAGAZINE CLIP FROM ONE OF THE A.K.s AND A BERET WITH IRAQ 1 RANK ON IT.

I MADE A STENCIL FOR THE TRUCK WERE RIDING IN. ITS CALLED THE “GAMBLER.” YESTERDAY MENDOZA DROVE, SO TODAY ILL BE DRIVING.

IM NOT POSITIVE, BUT, I THINK WERE GOING TO TURKEY. NIETO SAYS THAT HE OVERHEARD SOMEBODY FROM S1 (or SI, I’m not sure) SAYING WE MIGHT GET PAID EXTRA FOR GOING THROUGH BAGHDAD.

I THINK NIETO’S MAD AT ME. CANT EXPLAIN WHY. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM RIDING WITH MENDOZA AND HE DOESNT LIKE MENDOZA TOO MUCH. OH WELL, WHATEVER REASON, HOPE THINGS GET NORMAL AGAIN. HAVE TO GO,

*hearts and xs*

TODAY IS THE 25th OF APRIL, I RECEIVED FIVE OR SIX (OR SEVEN) LETTERS YESTERDAY. THE LATEST WAS DATED 07 OF APRIL. THAT TELLS ME THAT ITS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO COMMUNICATE.

WE HAVENT RECEIVED MAIL BECAUSE WEVE BEEN MOVING NEVER STAYING IN ONE PLACE MORE THAN A DAY, OR TWO, UNTIL NOW. WE’VE BEEN IN THIS SPOT GOING ON FOUR DAYS TOMORROW?!

GIVE ME A MINUTE...

FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS IVE BEEN HELPING MENDOZA PULL THE ENGINE OUT OF A 5 TON TRUCK AND SWITCH IT w/ ANOTHER ONE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY BUT THE FLY WHEEL SEIZED UP INSIDE THE BELL HOUSING. ITS FINISHED NOW AND THE RUMOR IS WE’RE LEAVING (OR MOVING) AGAIN TOMORROW.

ITS 10:33 THURSDAY MORNING. YOUR TIME IS 12:32 JUST TURNING THURSDAY.

I ALMOST CRYED WHEN I SAW ELIS PICTURE. I REALLY MISS BOTH OF YOU. LET ME BACK TO BEFORE I GOT DISTRACTED. I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SEND MAIL BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN MOVING. BUT I GUESS THAT WHATEVER THREAT THERE WAS (IF ANY), ISNT SO THREATFUL ANYMORE, WE CAN START RECEIVING AND SENDING MAIL. NO PHONE TO CALL FROM, AND NO INTERNET TO E-MAIL FROM.

THE WHOLE UNIT IS SCATTERED, SO EVEN IF I GET WHAT YOU NEED IT’LL TAKE FOREVER TO GET IT TO YOU. LET ME PULL THOSE LETTERS BACK OUT. OH WAIT. I DID LAUNDRY AND SOME UNDERWEAR THATS DRY, FELT HARD, OH WELL, WAIT A SECOND, K

I HAD TO FOLD SOME T-SHIRTS. ALL MY SOCKS ARE STILL DAMP.

YOU CAN USE MY CONTRACT TO SHOW THAT I ENLISTED IN TEXAS AND HOWS THIS

*On a separate sheet my dad wrote a detailed note for my mom to give to someone to confirm that he did want to buy a house. He writes “I AM ALIVE AND WELL.” and “PLEASE ACCEPT THIS PAPER”, then he signed it with his scribble signature, and underneath it wrote his name in print and added “1st SQUADRON 10th CAVALRY HEADQUARTERS TROOP (I have no clue what this means)*

HOW’S THAT? HOPE I SPELLED EVERYTHING CORRECTLY. IM ALMOST READY WITH A DESIGN TO COVER THE OTHER TATTOOS ON MY LEFT FOREARM.

I JUST FINISHED LOOKING OVER ALL THOSE LETTERS YOU SENT FOR ME

IM BACK! I GOT SLEEPY SO I TRYED TO LAY DOWN FOR A LITTLE BIT. NO SLEEP. I DONT THINK. I DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH WATER TO WASH MY DCV’S AND A PAIR OF BDV’S. BESIDES FOR DRINKING WATER, BUT WE HAVE TO CONSERVE IT.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE RUMORS. TOMORROW WE’LL BE LEAVING FOR THE IRAN/IRAQ BORDER TO DO “PEACE KEEPING” FOR 3 TO 6 mths. OTHERS SAY THAT THE 4ID (i think is what this says) GENERAL WANTS TO KEEP US HERE TILL NOV., THATS WHEN 1 CAV WILL COME TO REPLACE US. WHILE OTHERS SAY WE MIGHT LEAVE BY JUNE. NOTHINGS FOR SURE.

SMALLER RUMORS FLOATING AROUND THE SITE ARE; RAMSEY AND SFC BACON ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER. SGT SIREK HAS PLANS TO TAKE NIETO AS HIS APPRENTICE AND PADIWAN LEARNER OF THE DARK SIDE. LITTLE BLACK ARNOLD IS MILITARY INTELLIGENCE FOR SPECIAL FORCES OPERATING UNDER COVER A SURVEILLENCE AS PART OF

*the rest of the page is blank*

IM BACK. TODAY IS THE 27th. I GOT BACK TO THE LITTLE CAMP AREA ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO. I LEFT YESTERDAY MORNING TO, WELL, AS PART OF DE-CON (DE-CONTAMINATION) MISSION. HERES THE INFORMATION THAT I GATHERED.

A SITE HAD BEEN FOUND THAT WAS THOUGHT TO HAVE CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND 1-10 WAS APPOINTED TO GO TO THE SITE AND DE-CON THE CIVILIANS THAT WERE GOING TO OPEN THEM. AS IT TURNS OUT THE CIVILIANS HAVE BEEN DE-LAYED AND WOULD BE SET BACK 1 DAY.

THE NBC TEAM THAT I WAS WITH WERENT PREPARED TO STAY OVER NIGHT AND AS FORCASTED BY SSG MINOR WE MIGHT HAVE HAD TO STAY 3 TO 4 DAYS. EVERYBODY WAS PISSED.

LATELY ITS BEEN GETTING REALLY COLD AT NIGHT AND WE JUST HAPPENED TO BE NEAR A RUNNING RIVER. SO THE, ITS ABOUT 9 O’CLOCK AND IM BEAT, NO SLEEPING BAG OR ANYTHING TO COVER UP WITH AND I DECIDE TO TRY AND SLEEP. I GET AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE AND I GET ATTACKED BY MOSQUITOS. NOW IM PISSED SO I DECIDED TO JUST TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT. ABOUT 10PM ONE OF THE HEMTT (this might just say “hemi”, I don’t know) FUELERS SHOWS UP AND SGT TORRES SAYS HE HAS EVERYBODYS SLEEPING BAG! THE SITES ABOUT 45 MINS AWAY AND THEY LEFT SOMETIME MID AFTERNOON TO GET OUR SHIT, I HATE THESE PEOPLE.

RIGHT NOW ITS 9:01 PM AND ITS 11:02 AM YOUR TIME. I MISS YOU.

RIGHT NOW IM GOING TO ADDRESS AN ENVELOPE AND HAVE IT READY TO SEND TOMMOROW THE 28th. IM SORRY IF IT SEEMS THAT IM NOT WRITING VERY OFTEN. FOR A WHILE WE COULDN’T. AND NOW THAT IT SEEMS WE MIGHT BE HERE A LITTLE WHILE, THEYVE KEPT ME REALLY BUSY. LET ME ADDRESS THE ENVELOPES (he drew a star here)

ALL DONE. I THOUGHT ABOUT THE HOUSE A LOT TODAY AND YESTERDAY. IM SURE BY THE TIME THIS LETTER REACHES YOU, YOU’LL HAVE EITHER GOTTEN IT OR GAVE IT UP. IM O.K. WITH EITHER DECISION YOUVE MADE.

YOUVE KEPT THIS FAMILY TOGETHER, AND THAT MAKES ME PROUD. YOUR SMART, ATTRACTIVE AND FUNNY. AND YOU DONT TAKE ANY SHIT FROM ANYBODY. I LOVE YOU.

I HOPE THAT OUR DAUGHTER TURNS OUT TO BE LIKE YOU.

I GUESS ILL MAIL THIS TOMORROW, FIRST THING, SO

EVER YOURS

EVER MINE

*my dad signed it with his scribble, and wrote his name under it. under that are hearts and x’s with my mom’s name and then my name under hers.*

#very personal but where the fuck am i gonna put them? you know where i kinda cant lose them?#letters from the guy that was my dad #pt 1 #long post

3 notes · View notes

lunatic-fandom-space · 3 years

Text

Comparing RWBY and YGO DM: The Handling and Evolution of Themes

Hey! Its been a hot minute since I last posted anything RWBY-related but Im laying in my bed right now and Im sick and bored so I guess we're doing this. Today I will do my best to analyze what I percieve to be the main themes and messages of both of these shows, or more specifically, how theyre handled narratively. Im mostly focusing on that part because, while these series do have similar themes and messaging, they are still a few things in which they are wildly different. And with that, lets start with this essay-post-thing!

1. Theres something we need to adress first

Okay so, before we can really talk about this, theres something I feel the need to clarify here: Neither of these stories was "planned from the beginning".

Now, I dont think a story being planned from the beginning or not nesscessarily makes the story any better or worse by default, however, it is still important to acknowledge because the way the story is planned is going to affect every facet of it. Things are not going to be foreshadowed properly, things are gonna be set up only for nothing to come of it, the story might drastically change directions, characters might act differently, etc, etc.

And, this is bit off-topic but, it's much better to just admit that the story was not planned than trying to pretend that it was. Like, there are a lot of reasons why I tend to be so forgiving towards YGO even though its not very good, but one of them is definitely the fact that, as far as Im aware atleast, the guy who wrote it isnt pretending to have had this big master plan all along and neither is the fandom. With RWBY on the other hand... yeaaaah, its kinda the opposite. From what Ive seen of RWBYs fandom, there seems to be this pretty popular narrative that everything was planned even though it clearly wasnt. Thats pretty bad and honestly lowers my opinion of the writers so much more than if they would just admit to not having a proper plan.

Like, I initially consumed YGO like this: Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh (aka Season 0), like, a quarter of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga (I still havent finished it)

In all three of these we have the character of Yami Yuugi, or just Yami. Broadly speaking, he is an ancient egyptian gamer spirit who lives in a magical puzzle that has not been solved for 3000 years until this highschooler named Yuugi Mutou comes along and solves it, thus setting him free and allowing him to possess Yuugi and have access to the vague magical powers of the puzzle.

In Duel Monsters he's perfectly fine most of time, morally speaking. There is an instance of him almost murdering a guy and its a bit unclear what exactly happens to those he mindcrushes but overall he's very much a pretty good guy. In Season 0 most of what he does is set up these games for bad people, where they will go insane no matter what they do. From how I understand this whole Shadow Game, Penalty Game stuff, if you lose a Shadow Game, you get violent and intense hallucinations and you will always cuz yknow, gamer spirit. But if you try to cheat, which most of the bad people do in this show, you get violent and intense hallucinations as a punishment.

Since the two anime are generally considered two different continuities, its perfectly fine that Yamis characterization is wildly different in both of them. But in the manga both of these characterizations appear, basically one after the other with no real arc or consequences, for that matter. Why is that? Simply put, someone thought it was a good idea to try to turn an episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror manga into a more traditional, more plot-driven battle shounen. From what Ive heard, it was apparently largely because of network interference or something, but the point is, it changed directions incredibly drastically with little planning and everyone knows this and I can understand that for the most part.

In RWBY we have the character of Blake Belladonna, who, in the first 3 volumes/seasons atleast, was this aloof, more toned down loner-type character with a pretty strong sense of justice. She's an in-universe marginilized racial minority and she clearly cares about racial injustice. The way its initially framed makes it seem like she had a very hard life and no stable support system, which is what eventually pushed her to join a Civil Rights group/Terrorist organization (good god, the Faunus subplot is so awful, I could write a whole essay about it but Im already de-railing rn so I'll just save that for later).

Then, in volumes 4-5 it turns out her father is actually like, the mayor or chief of this island-place called Menagerie and she grew up in this big mansion with multiple guards/servants. Oh and also, apparently "space is a commodity" on there, so theres that. She still retains large parts of her personality but she's kinda like, worse somehow I think. I cant really describe it in a meaningful way but I hope you get what Im saying anyway. Then in Volume 6 she confronted her emotional abuser Adam (sorry for not mentioning him sooner but yeah, he was like, her abusive boyfriend, which is something that a lot of people disagree with but I wont really say anything about it either way because I dont really feel any specific way) with her friend, Yang, and ended up killing him.

After all that, she pretty much lost the rest of her personality, as well as her arc about all the Faunus stuff. She just kinda became the meek, generically nice, recovering abuse victim. Why? Well, the actual reason is that they didnt plan out shit and are just kinda flying by the seat of their oversized clown-pants and if they and the fandom just admitted it, I would have less of an issue. I still wouldnt be as forgiving towards RWBY as I am towards YGO because the crux of the issue, for me, is just that I dont particulary like RWBY but also like. Do you really expect me to take MKEK seriously as writers after admitting to not have a timeline because iT wOuLd CaUsE pLoThOlEs?

However, since they want us to believe that everything was planned out from the beginning, the explaination would be.... Idk, they deliberately butchered one of their main characters?? Because.. they hate her?? Maybe????

So yeah, that was quite a detour however, I would like you to keep this mind going forward.

2. Themes of the Early Series'

First, what do mean by 'Early Series' for both of these shows respectively? Well, for YGO that would have to be Season 0 or if youre reading the manga, everything pre-Duelist Kingdom. Basically, the part of the series thats a episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror series.

For RWBY that would be the first three Volumes, also known as the Poser-Era. Back then it was just kinda an action series that took place at Anime Warrior Academy (also known as Beacon) with some pretty bare minimum worldbuilding, character-driven plots and developments but now its more of an epic high-fantasy story with more of an emphasis on plot as opposed to just action.

The themes and messages in Early YGO are kinda vague, very confusing to me and if you were to follow any of it literally that would be pretty bad. For now Im just gonna say the main themes are Friendship and Identity and mostly focus on the Identity aspect.

Now, it took me a little while to figure out RWBYs deal but I think the main themes for Volumes 1-3 are also Friendship and Heroism. Once again, I'll mostly focus on Heroism and touch on Friendship more briefly later.

I dont have much more to add to YGOs themes right now, so I'll briefly go over Heroism in RWBY.

In RWBYs setting there are these man-eating monsters called Grimm that have basically infected the planet. In order to deal with that, they have people called huntsmen and huntresses that kill them and protect people. Theyre trained at special academies like Beacon and go on missions there and stuff like that. Our four main characters, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang, are training to become huntresses and one day they go on this mission to clean up a grimm infested city block with one of their teachers. Obviously, that takes a long time so they have to camp out in one of the empty houses. Weiss, Blake and Yang cant sleep because theyve been thinking about this question that their teacher asked them when they were fighting grimm: "Why do you want to become a huntress?"

They have a heart to heart and we find out about their motivations; Weiss wants to bring honour back to her family, Blake want to distance herself from the White Fang (that terrorist organization I mentioned earlier) and as an extension from Adam, Yang wants to have a life of adventure. They also talk about why Ruby wants to be a huntress and it turns out that she judt wants to help people. Unlike the others, she has no motivation besides that. We're meant to listen to that and look at her as a sort-of personification of Heroism: kind, but not naive, strong and most of all, selfless. The others on her team are not portayed as bad for not being like Ruby by any means but we are clearly meant to admire her the most out of all of them.

Okay, now comes the part Ive been looking forward to the most:

3. How did these themes evolve in the Modern Series'?

Alright, before we can really delve into the way they evolved in YGO I'll have to give you a brief summary of the character progression. At the start of DM, during the Duelist Kingdom arc, Yami Yuugi is just that; A darker Yuugi. Hes more confident, bolder, his voice is deeper, hes somehow taller, more ruthless, all that good stuff. Notably, he doesnt actually seem more skilled than Yuugi even at the start of this story, but he's still dependent on Yami. Yami on the other hand, has no identity of his own or even hints at one at this point. He's just The Other Yuugi.

Then during the Battle City arc, they find out that Yami was actually a pharao prior to being sealed in the puzzle, he just didnt know because of amnesia, I guess. So now they need to find out his real name and then send him to the afterlife because hes meant to be dead, but not before saving the world from being swallowed by darkness, which is also a thing they have to do now.

Then we finally get to the Memory World arc, where Yami, Yuugi and the rest of the gang astralproject to ancient egypt via puzzle magic. Yami is trying to figure out what the hell is going on and who all these familiar people are, while Yuugi & Co are trying their best to help him. Then some weird shit happens and it turns out that all of that is not just Yamis sealed away memories, but also a giant D&D Shadow Game that will destroy the world if Yami loses. So now theres Pharao!Yami who is still clueless on the metaphorical and literal playing field and Player!Yami, who is kinda controlling himself now? I guess?? Yamis opponent, The Spirit of The Ring, has something similar to that going on where hes both controlling and properly participating in the game. So Player!Yami is now fighting against Player!TSoTR, Pharao!Yami is now fighting against Thief King Bakura (who is like, the human, ancient egyptian version of the Ring Spirit) and Yuugi is now fighting against Yami Bakura (who is like, the human, modern japanese version of the Ring Spirit). Yuugi gets Yamis real name, he and the gang go over to Pharao!Yami and tell him his name, meanwhile Player!Yami is also somehow helping as well and they defeat the Ring Spirit, thus saving the world. Then they travel to modern Egypt, the Ceremonial Duel happens and Yuugi wins, sending Yami to the Afterlife where he can finally rest and that was the series!

I originally wanted to recount the stuff that was going on with the Ring Spirit and his host as well because they parallel eachother, but this summary is already far too long and I think youll get the point without me needing to explain any more.

My point here is, that the story went from being vaguely about Identity, maybe? to being very clearly about Self-Discovery and Learning to Be Independent. I think this is a very good way to evolve the messaging of your story. How does RWBY track on that?

Well, uh... its not great. I will acknowledge that they have tried to introduce new themes and ideas since, even though I wont really be talking about them in this post. But yeah, the whole Heroism thing really regressed.

Like, I didnt explicitly say it when I was explaining grimm earlier, but theyre not going away. The grimm have always been there and people who sign up to become huntsmen and huntresses are effectively signing up for a job that will never truly be done, no matter what they do. Characters like Ruby and even more minor ones like Phyrrah have shown us that that doesnt matter when youre a hero. No life isnt worth saving, no grimm isnt worth killing, no criminal isnt worth arresting. Then, in volume 6 they find out about Salem. Salem is the Big Bad of the show, shes immortal, controls the grimm and is supposed to be very powerful.

What do our heroes do? They give up. Sike! They were just mindcontrolled by monsters or some shit, of course they didnt give up their mission (which is to bring an Important Macguffin to a city called Atlas, sorry I didnt mention it)!

But then they arrive in Atlas (which is llike, a city thats floating over another city called Mantle) and yknow, they do some plot stuff thats not really important right now until the city gets invaded by Salem and this big grimm army she has.

What do our heroes do? Well, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and some side characters are chilling, drinking tea in a mansion and Yang and the B Team were actually trying to do something, but even those efforts seem incredibly minimal.

Oh wait, I also forgot to mention that Ironwood (a fairly minor, vaguely antagonistic character up until now) wanted to lift Atlas even higher to save Atleasian civilians from danger while leaving Mantle vulnerable to Salems invasion.

What would be the most heroic thing to do?

A) Let Ironwood lift Atlas, get as much support as they can down to Mantle and save as many Mantle civilians as they can from the invasion

B) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas but then split up in order to protect both Atlas and Mantle civilians

C) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas and then dont do anything else

Congrats! If you choose C, you think exactly like the writers!

And I just

This is so mindboggling to me, I feel like I shouldnt even have explain how this is bad. And like, it wouldve been so easy to actually make them seem herokc through their actions, to make it seem like they did try but no.

I have never seen a central theme be this botched, how in the world did they do that? Why did they think it was a good idea for Ruby "The Embodiment of Heroism" Rose to sit in a mansion doing nothing, no planning, no organizing just ..... God, how are they this bad? Like, this doesnt even have anything to do with it being planned in any way, this is just straight up incompetence

4. Very briefly touching on friendship

The friendship is awful and its not solely because they all have the same opinions. They barely interact with eachother outside their designated pairs which leads to it all feeling incredibly hollow. Theyre also practically indistingushable from one another now, which is a shame because it wasnt always like that. Like, I dont think the characters were that well-developed in earlier volumes but they were very well-characterized. But now we've gotten to a point where you can literally copy and paste one characters dialogue onto another and literally nothing changes, it really sucks.

5. Some closing words

Damn, this took way longer than I thought it would and now Im pretty exhausted. I have no idea how yall always write these but props to you! I feel like this ended up a bit rambly but overall, Im pretty proud.

Please let me know what you think of the points I brought up! Id also really appreciate some tips on how to get better at these longer posts because I am planning on writing more in the future (not the near future, probably but yknow).

Thats all I have to say for now, thanks for reading!

#rwde #rwby critism #anti mkek #yu gi oh #ygo duel monsters #yu gi oh analasis

2 notes · View notes

moltenhair · 5 years

Text

Season 3 minus Gothel

So here’s the deal... I don’t have the energy to finish this complete rewrite. And I don’t know when i will... But I wanted to share what I’d written so far. Or most of it anyway. There’s still a lot I haven’t written- like where the canon Captain of the Guard comes in. I have explanations for everything that isnt featured here I just... Haven’t been able to get around to getting them in writing.

But here it is! My much talked about new backstory/rewrite for Cass that has absolutely nothing to do with being related to Gothel or even knowing her. Enjoy.

It was surreal. Like stepping into a different moment in time. Too real to be a dream. No.. This was a memory. But whose memory was it? And why was Cassandra here?

Olive colored eyes scanned the world around her. The door she’d walked through gone from sight and mind. Something inside her compelling her to drink in her surroundings. The sights, the sounds, the smells. A tiny farmhouse. A barely impressive plot of land but it looked like the owners were getting by. The land had clearly seen better days, the animals and crops were few and the home was crumbling at the foundations. But it radiated warmth and comfort. Cass couldn’t explain it but she was drawn to it. Like it was something she knew once. Like this place was safe.

“Hello, Cassandra.”

Cass turned quickly, her black hair whipping into her face as she looked for the sudden voice. Who was there? No one, at first glance. But then her gaze fell, and standing before her was a small child in a frilly gown. Ethereal in a way and an almost transparent blue. Like a ghost from another time. It stared up at the lady in waiting with big, shining eyes and a sweet, innocent smile. Tiny gloved hands folded as she waited for Cassandra to speak.

“Who are you?” Cass asked, her brow furrowing suspiciously. This was some magic trick, she knew it. And magic rarely worked in her favor. The ever stinging wound that was her right hand was a constant reminder of that.

“A friend.” The girl happily replied, walking around her, a bounce in her step that shook the twin buns atop her head. “Or at least I’d like to be.”

Cass watched her walk away toward that farmhouse, only for her to turn and look back. Waiting with an expectant look for Cass to follow. She glanced around before taking that first reluctant step. This was really weird but it didn’t seem like there was anyone else around to talk to. And even if Cass had to follow this child, at least she’d get a closer look at that farm. Find out why she had such a familiar feeling about it.

The two walked together up to the misty glass of the farm house and peered through. It was dimly lit inside. Whoever lived within clearly didn’t have the money for candles and relied on the sun for light. There was movement in the shadows but Cass couldn’t make out what it was. She leaned in, closer to the glass, and squinted to try and see. But that was when she felt small fingers curl around her hand. A gentle touch that drew her gaze away. The child’s smile remained as she pulled Cassandra toward the door. Guiding her through it. Literally. The wood gave no resistance and they passed through it with ease. Like it was nothing but smoke. Even if it looked very real. Something that would have alarmed Cass in any other moment.

Once they were inside, the woman could get a much better look around. The walls were bare except for some flowers that hung to dry and some shelves stacked with jars and baskets. The fruit of the home owner’s labor. Meager vegetables and preservatives. The air smelled like sweet bread. A rare treat from a distant part of Cassandra’s memory. She couldn’t recall a time she’d eaten it, but she could vividly remember the taste.

“What is this place?” Cassandra asked, taking a few more steps, “It feels so-”

She stopped mid-stride as that moving figure came back into view. A little girl, no older than 4 years old. Smiling brightly with one missing tooth and carrying a handful of fresh flowers. Her hair was long and messy, but those ebony curls and olive eyes were unmistakable.

“Do you recognize that child?” The ghost asked.

“That’s… Me.” Cass all but whispered as she continued to watch the child move about the room.

“I got some fresh flowers, Mama!” her past self chimed, holding the humble boquet up to an unseen figure behind a closed door.

Cassandra’s heart leapt into her throat. ‘Mama’? Her mother?

The creaky old door opened and a tired looking woman appeared. Her long brown hair tied up in a messy bun. Loose curls dangling in front of her face.. But despite her clear exhaustion, she smiled tenderly at the child before her. She took the flowers and brought them up to her nose for a long sniff. As if they were the finest flowers she’d ever smelled and not common wildflowers from the neighboring field. The sight pulled at something in Cass that she wasn’t aware she could feel. Or maybe it was something she’d always tried to suppress.

“These are lovely, Cassandra. Thank you.” She sighed, reaching down to smooth a hand over her daughter’s hair. “These will look very nice on the dinner table tonight. I’ll go fetch some water.”

“Okay!” the little girl scurried out of the way to dive into the kitchen cabinets to find a vase. There weren’t any but she found a wooden cup that worked just as well.

Cass watched, emotions bubbling just beneath the surface as she watched this happy little family go about their lives. Without a care in the world. Her gaze followed her mother. When she came closer Cass could see her mother’s eyes matched her own. But they were tired. Worked to the bone, all alone on the farm. Cass’ father… His absence said everything Cass needed to know about him. Everything she never cared to remember. But her mother… It flooded back. The love she had for Cassandra in her youth. The days slaved so that her child could have a good meal or new clothes. Her mother had worked so hard for her…

“They look happy, don’t they?” The ghost spoke again, her voice almost somber. “You had a wonderful family, the two of you… Didn’t you?”

Watching her mother strain to carry a pail of water back into the house, a small, gentle smile curled Cassandra’s lips. Yeah… They do look happy. They were happy. It wasn’t much… But it was all they needed.

So what happened?

“I don’t understand… If this was my life, why don’t I remember this?”

“We all have things we repress to protect ourselves…” The ghost told her, big eyes turning to her once more. A sadness Cass wasn’t used to seeing directed at herself. “You made yourself forget her so you didn’t have to remember how you lost her.”

Lost? Cassandra’s confusion must have been apparent on her face, because the spirit child continued as if she knew.

“The fire.”

The world shifted suddenly. In a bright flash, like lightning striking where they stood. In the blink of an eye the home around them changed. The roof opened up to reveal a dark, reddened sky. Pillars of smoke reached for the heavens. Red flames licked at the walls and climbed toward the crumbling rafters. Like a great, ravenous beast it devoured the house. The beautiful flowers the little girl picked lost forever to the flames.

Cass looked around to try and find her younger self. Was she trapped? Where was her mother?

“Mama! Mama, where are you?!”

“Cassandra!”

It almost happened too quickly to see. A beam broke free, falling heavily from the roof. Beneath it stood a frightened little girl looking desperately for her mother. It was only with the quickest of reflexes that her mother dove in to save her. Taking the four year old into her arms. Her mother shielded Cassandra with her own body as she ran through the smoke and fire. Her shoulder collided with the front door and broke it free so she and her child could get out. Never flinching at the pain it must have caused, nor letting her ragged coughing slow her down.

The grown Cassandra was in awe. She’d never realized her mother was so brave.

But they’d gotten out… What happened? Why didn’t her mother stay with her?

Cass followed. The flames passed right through her as she chased. It looked so real but she felt none of the heat. All that mattered was finding the truth. Learning what happened to her mother. Why Cass had ended up alone. How she ended up as the Captain’s daughter. How her life had gone so wrong.

She followed her mother down the dirt road. She watched as her mother looked desperately for a Guard with young Cassandra held tight to her chest. For anyone to help her and her child. Then, in the distance, guards on horseback came into view. Armed with crossbows and riding furiously through the woods. On a mission from the king.

“Sir, please help!” Cassandra’s mother called, running up to one of the men. An older man with white hair and a taller helmet than the rest. The old captain, maybe? Cass couldn’t remember anyone but her dad ever being Captain. “My house. You have to-”

“Ma’am there’s no time!” The man growled, yanking on the reins of his horse to move around the frantic woman, “The princess has been taken and we need every guard to track down the kidnapper. By order of the king!”

Cassandra’s mother’s face paled. Her heartbreak clear as the man just rode away. Leaving a pleading woman and her child standing alone in the darkness… Helpless as their home and livelihood burned to the ground. And Cass felt as gutted as her mother looked.

She fell to her knees, eyes wide and shining with stinging tears as she watched her home burn beside her mother. How could this happen? How could the king order all of his men away from their posts and leave the rest of his people defenseless? For Rapunzel? For one girl? She was more important than all of his citizens? Didn’t the people who lived in Corona matter too?

“I’m so sorry this happened to you, Cassandra.” The ghost murmured, joining her at her side once more. “Do you remember now…? How you lost your mother?”

… Yes… She did.

“She… She had to give me up.” Cassandra croaked, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Without the farm she… Sh-she couldn’t provide for me, s-so-”

“So she left you in an orphanage. In the hopes that someone could give you a better life.” The spirit child added. Cass squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to remember. “But they never could, could they? All your life you’ve had to face that you would never matter as much to them as Rapunzel..”

Bitterness swelled inside Cass, mingling with the pain in her heart. Maybe the fire could have been fought if every last guard hadn’t been looking for Rapunzel. Maybe if the people in charge hadn’t decided that the citizens didn’t matter. All they cared about were their own people. Anyone less than royal was disposable.. They always had been.

“I know it hurts.” The child soothed, resting her small hand upon Cass’ shoulder. “But there is a way you can make that pain go away... To make sure it never happens to anyone else.”

Cass’ eyes opened. Staring ahead to the smoldering remains of her childhood home. The images of herself and her mother were gone. Leaving Cass alone in the smoke and rubble.

“How?”

A/N delete later: (there is a reason the Captain we know is absent.)

_______

Power surged through Cassandra’s veins. Burning like the fires that destroyed her life and of her passionate hatred. Years of being walked on, cast aside and belittled had all come to this. This moment of sweet catharsis. After twenty years of being passed by in favor of people with “power”, now she would be the one with real power. And a kind of power money couldn’t buy. An authority no birthright could give her.

THIS was her destiny.

“Cass… I had no idea what happened-”

“Of course you didn’t!” Cass snapped, the moonstone embedded in her breast flashing with violent, angry light. “It never mattered. I never mattered.”

Rapunzel stepped forward, hands raised and eyes pleading. Her hair had stopped glowing the moment Cass seized the opal for herself. Now it hung loose off the bridge they stood upon. Dipping into the darkness below. Behind her Eugene, Lance and Adira looked on in awe and horror.

“Of course you matter, Cass-! I’m your friend! But this is dangerous! The moonstone-”

“-Is the only way to fix the damage done by people like your father. By people like YOU.” Cass cut her off, clutching the stone tightly. Rapunzel’s eyes widened and she froze in her step. Shocked at the words she was hearing. “I thought when you came back that maybe YOU might change things. That maybe you might actually care what I had to say.”

Black spikes, glowing with blue energy burst from the ground around Cassandra. Illuminating the inky black armor that now consumed her from head to toe. Covering any weakness she may have held.

“But I know now that trying to make your kind listen only leads to pain.” She held up her right hand. The grave injury now concealed behind stony armor. “But no longer...”

“Cass-”

Rapunzel took another step forward only to be met with a spike jutting out toward her. Her hair illuminated, shining bright and golden as it moved to defend her. The princess flew back at the impact, tumbling painfully against the ground and into Eugene’s arms. He caught her, eyes wide and horrified at what he was witnessing.

“Blondie-! Rapunzel, are you okay?”

Adira jumped into action, placing herself between the princess and “fishskin”. Her shadowblade drawn. Without a shred of hesitation or fear for her own life she lunged at Cassandra, pinning her back to the black rocks with the flat side of her blade.

“Release the Moonstone, Short Hair. You have no idea what you’re dealing with.”

Rage flared in Cassanra’s chest, the opal flashing with white-blue light as her glowing eyes narrowed. Still people dared tell her what to do? Still no one would take her seriously?! “No… YOU have no idea what YOU’RE dealing with.”

In a blast of bright light and black stone, Cass threw the other warrior away. Adira’s previously superior size and skill now useless to save her. Her back struck the wall and the air was knocked from her lungs. She collapsed into a slump on the ground. Lance- the clinging fool he was- rushed to her side. Cass didn’t care what he had to say to Adira. None of them mattered now. She took up Adira’s sword, dropped after that pathetic attempt to stop her. A fitting weapon for Cass to shape the world with.

Rapunzel groaned, her hair falling out of her face as her eyes opened. She was hurting in more ways than one and winded… But she was okay. It was Cass she was worried about. As she sat up, Cassandra charged the bridge, running in a sprint. Each step summoning black rocks to guard her. To keep her “friends” from getting too close. But Eugene was on his feet regardless. Ready to stand his ground and square up with one of his best friends. To defend Rapunzel’s honor and possibly the entire world-

But chivalry was cut short as a large black spike shot upwards before him, colliding hard with his body and sending him flying backwards into the wall. The wind knocked from his lungs, he fell to the ground with a groan. Cass didn’t look back as his pained noises reached her ears. She only ran further. Away from her “friends” and onward toward freedom. Everything inside her was twisted and angry. Angry at Rapunzel, at Eugene, at this broken world, at herself. But she couldn’t stop so soon. Not after finally having the tools she needed to do what needed to be done.

No one would stop her now. No one COULD stop her now.

#rapunzel's tangled adventure #tangled the series #cassandra #Season 3 minus gothel #my art #sorta #I do have art to add to this later #it's just in sketch form #it's the first full chapter #I have one more full chapter but Cass isnt in it

130 notes · View notes