#sorry so long

[froot-batty]

So we know that the dork squad exists in this universe, but what about other groups like the Gotham girls, and such? Joker and Harley also seem to be on good terms, so how did they meet?

oh, definitely! sorry this one's gonna be long i love talking about lore

the dork squad is definitely the most major of them, because out of the entire rogues gallery they're the ones that can stand to be around each other the longest, but we got some others

the gotham city sirens are kind of a group. it's more just a title bestowed upon selina, harley, and ivy. the thing stopping them from becoming an actual friend group is that ivy hates all of humanity, and if she has her way she's either avoiding the other rogues entirely or actively causing them harm. she can reluctantly tolerate harley and selina sometimes, but that's about it. selina and harley are decent friends though

an example of an actual, proper group though is my pair of my favorite c-list delinquent rogues, firefly and maxie zeus. they are as thick as thieves, and they have tentatively named themselves the "elementals" (though they fight over changing the name constantly). attempts to recruit freeze and ivy to their totally awesome themed friend group have been wildly unsuccessful, but they (mostly firefly) are DETERMINED to win them over

there's also the Guys That Live In the Sewers. being down there with your fellow rogues, you kind of get to know your roomies. this includes killer croc, ratcatcher, solomon grundy, and, occasionally, clayface, though clay prefers to stay in an abandoned theatre if possible. they're not really a group, but they're pals

lastly, there is my kind of cobbled together batfam. there are no robins and no batgirls in my universe, as my bruce doesn't believe in child crime fighting, but the red hood and spoiler (and kind of oracle) do exist. they just both have completely different names, backstories, and red hood's a lady. also they gaaayyy

ANYWAY, JOKER AND HARLEY

their backstory is pretty typical for a harley and joker story, except without the swooning on joker's part. they met in arkham while harley was a psychiatrist there, and eventually she sided with the joker blah blah blah

the thing about the joker is that she is, like, an exceptionally good speaker. very cult-leader-esque in the way she can speak and subtly manipulate the thoughts and feelings of others through what she says. the joker was able to sense that harley deep down wanted to go cuckoo bananas and used that to her advantage - not only to bust herself out of arkham, but to gain a friend in the process

they both do genuinely enjoy each other's presence. harley is the can-do-no-wrong golden apple of joker's eye, and the joker is little less than a king in harley's. they do tend to get a little possessive because of this

[climbingthefloors]

obsessed with this baby hippo from thailand's khao khew zoo.. she has been so utterly betrayed by the world

[whiteshipnightjar]

Zoozve, my beloved

[fishfingersandscarves]

they've never had sex

[soaked-doors]

happy birthday zoro 🎉🍾

[thorinds]

1000 Books You May Have Actually Read

[gongyussy]

studio trigger understood the assignment. i would let her wreck me.

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower

[specshroom]

Some rather unlucky investments have landed you in a tad of debt. However, you have know of a way to get out of it that requires very little work on your part.

The "Pussy Portal" company are always hiring after all.

All you have to do is have a portal directly connected to your pussy that any paying customer can use at any time. What could go wrong?

Just realized u didn't actually say it had to be monsterfucking specifically but I made it that anyway lmao.

At least you thought it was going to be very little work on your part.

But now you're not so sure as you sit on the train ride home trying to act like there isn't a monster cock reaching deep in your cunt.

You curse yourself for not reading the terms and conditions of the contract properly. You thought they were just being hyperbolic when they said "Prime Pussy Anywhere, Anytime!" Surely they would have down times right?

No. There are no down times unless you call in a sick day of which you only have few. You shoulda known that pay was too good to be true.

At least whoever's using your portal seems to only be cockwarming themselves for the time being, although that could change at any moment. Every jerk of the train makes you tense up as you try and act as nonchalant as possible. The cock sits so snug and warm inside you, it twitches every time you tense around it.

On the customer app your portal is advertised as specifically "Human pussy" so you like imagining the kinds of monsters who would pick that out specifically. You haven't figured out what monster this one might be, it's rather thick and hot with a very generous amount of precum.

When you get to your stop the train jerks more than you expected and you have to subtly cover your mouth and grab the railing to avoid making a sound. Your customer definitely felt you clench down in panic as their cock jumps in excitement.

They start grinding down slowly on the portal, their cock thrusting shallowly. You speed walk straight for the train station bathrooms and lock yourself inside a stall. Close call but you made it and just in time for their shallow thrusts to turn into full pumps into your slick pussy.

You lean your back on the wall of the stall as your cunt is now being thoroughly pounded by this stranger. You have to crouch to your knees as your orgasm builds up, rubbing your clit with one hand while the other covers your mouth.

Just as you're about to tip over the edge you feel something bigger at the base of the shaft bump against your pussy with each hard thrust. You gasp in realization but it's too late as the monster thrusts their knot past your entrance and you cum hard with a silent scream, spasming and shaking against the bathroom stall.

Their cum fills you to the brim, kept inside by their inflamed knot. They don't stop cumming for several minutes but when they do it takes you several more to compose yourself enough to step out of the bathroom on wobbly legs.

You make the slow and embarrassing walk home while the monster's knot sits snuggly inside your pussy, keeping all that warm cum inside you.

The knot inside you doesn't deflate fully until you're already home and making dinner. You have to grip the counter, shivering slightly as your customer pulls out and goes on with their day having been properly satisfied. The thought makes you feel a strange sense of pride. Just then your phone beeps with a notification from the Portal companies app.

The customer left a tip!

How nice! They also left a review on your page,

"10/10. Best stress relief. Would fuck again."

[sentate]

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[not-available-for-comment]

Ah, I have been waiting to see if anyone with more knowledge of Twitter bots than me would have a debunking for this. Happened to scroll through the tags this morning when I should’ve been asleep and here you go.

Spoofing the phone clients sounds like so much work! But I guess they must be harder to detect and throttle that way.

I do think the general chaos of the previous week could’ve had a suppressive effect on Elon’s engagement either way, but it’s good to know my initial guess was definitely wrong.

Honestly a relief to see someone be really nice about my unintentionally viral post being inaccurate! Thank you for the extra info, @tevruden!

lmfao this is so funny 😭

[blee-bleep]

took time out of this finals week to redraw this precious frame. i love marcille and izutsumi's big-sister, little sister dynamic, so precious

[piesafterdark]

I hope riot drops arcane 2, the longer, not cut version of arcane. All deleted scenes, the originals of shortened scenes, extra episodes if need be. It's such an incredible world and it sucks they had to cut things down, especially since this may be the last we ever see of these characters.

[hinamie]

mwah

[stellarphileistic]

“Vétkesek közt cinkos, aki néma”

from the book “Jónás könyve” by Babits Mihály. Although the phrase itself cannot be directly translated, it is what best fits this topic in my opinion. Vaguely this sentence means that someone who chooses to stay silent in a situation is still at fault. Curly, who enabled Jimmy’s behaviour and actions towards Anya is guilty as well, however he did not deserve any of the things he had gone through after the crash.

[buggachat]

Part 187 of my bakery “enemies” au!

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Kofi