#sorry not sorry for that mini cliffhanger by the way | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wintaerbaer · 11 months ago

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things we don’t say: part 5 (kth)

banner credit: @itaeewon

summary: Three years after graduating college, everything seems to be falling into place for you: stable job, cozy apartment, and a long-term boyfriend with a ring box hidden in his desk drawer. But when a mutual friend makes a remark that your best friend of nearly two decades is clearly in love with you, you realize that life may not be as simple as it seems.

pairing: Taehyung x Reader (with some VERY brief Seokjin x Reader and Yoongi x Reader)

rating: 18+

genres: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slow burn, angst, fluff, eventual smut

word count: 12.1k

chapter warnings: jeon jungkook, seventeen is here because i needed fill-ins (also they’re not singers but their music still canonically exists in-universe so good luck figuring that one out), a wedding!, tae is WHIPPED, the infamous butt debate, jealousy (plural), jimin has terrible timing, alcohol consumption ft. a drinking game, a mega cliffhanger i’m so sorry

a/n: while not required, i highly recommend reading the prequel drabble if you haven’t yet as it has some heavy relevance to this part and the next! special thanks to @btsborahaee and @jeonwiixard for beta-ing this chapter and letting me gush and brainstorm in their inboxes on the regular <3 also, shout outs to @animeniacss and @taegularities for sprinting with me all the time (and a forehead kiss to rid for coming up with the idea for the bathroom scene, mwah)!

PREVIOUS // SERIES MASTERLIST // MASTERLIST

Read on ao3

"After today, I never want to see a ribbon ever again."

Jimin fumbles his fingers over the thin string, throwing his hands up in a huff when the slippery material resists his efforts to tie it. With Hoseok and Sunny's wedding only two weeks away, you'd offered to help out with some of the prep work, and Taehyung suggested hosting a mini prep party at your apartment as part of his efforts to make new memories since you'd moved back. True to his word, he’s been at your place nearly every day the past few weeks, cooking dinner with you and rewatching your favorite shows from high school.

You have to admit it’s been pleasantly domestic.

"It's not that bad," you say, finishing off your own ribbon around one of the tiny boxes of chocolate which will be distributed to each of the two-hundred-plus guests as a wedding favor.

"No, I'm serious. I don't even want to tie my shoes anymore. I'm a Crocs guy now."

"I've heard girls love sport mode," Taehyung quietly teases. "Is that right, Y/N?"

The flirtatiousness of his tone startles you, and your eyes snap up to meet his where he sits across from you at the dining room table. He's smiling one of those mischievous grins that makes your stomach churn, belly lurching when he stuns you with a wink before turning back to his own tiny box.

What the fu—

"If any of you show up to my wedding in Crocs, I'm kicking you out," Sunny grumbles.

Hoseok smacks his lips as he ties off a ribbon. "Does that also go for—"

"You as well, yes."

Your group settles into a momentary silence at her declaration—not a sound besides the ripple of ribbon and paper. At least until—

“I got laid wearing Crocs once.”

The entire table groans in unison, and you toss a bit of balled up wrapping paper at Jungkook's chest that bounces pathetically to the floor as Jimin boos. “No one cares about your sexcapades, Kook.”

“What, it was impressive!” he argues. “Just be thankful I'm not bringing any of them to the wedding.”

“I almost wish you were,” Hoseok grumbles. “You'd better not be picking up anyone inappropriate that night. Sisters, cousins, aunts—”

“That was one time!”

“—and anyone else even remotely close to family are off limits.”

Jungkook is quiet for a long moment, pouting to himself, before he says, “Moms?”

The table boos again, more bits of wrapping paper flying his way.

“I'm kidding! Kidding!”

“Actually, Y/N,” Sunny murmurs, leaning towards you. “I hate to bring it up, but are you planning on bringing anyone else in Jace’s place?” Her expression is one of compassionate regret, with pursed lips and a furrowed brow, but the question still hits you low in your chest, knocking the wind out of you.

“I feel terrible asking,” she continues, “but one of my friends from high school originally declined a plus-one, and now she’s asking if there’s any way we can squeeze in this guy she met two weeks ago, and normally I’d tell her no, there’s no way I can change the head count two weeks out and who is this guy anyway, but then I figured that we do technically have an extra spot so we could fit him in, but I’d definitely give you the option to bring someone else first if you wa—“

“It’s fine,” you say, trying to ignore the way everyone else around the table is now looking on in sympathy. “I have no one else to bring. Let her guy come.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” It feels like you’re dying inside, but you try to look unbothered, especially since you can feel Taehyung’s eyes on you. “I don’t mind.”

“Okay,” Sunny quietly agrees, just as Hoseok suddenly jumps in at her side.

“You know, Tae isn’t bringing anyone to the wedding either,” he says, looking between the two of you. “Why don’t you just go together?”

“I’m also going alo—“ There’s a thump under the table and Jungkook immediately shuts his mouth.

You glance at Taehyung, who’s looking back at you with a dip in his eyebrows and parted lips. It was probably a given that you would spend time at the wedding hanging out already, but wouldn’t going together mean something else entirely? A promise of dancing and proximity and a label the two of you have never shared?

Perhaps that’s the reason why he’s staring at you with a touch of discomfort. Your own skin prickles at the thought, and so you scratch away the itch at your chin and deflect.

“That’s okay. We don’t have to.” Then you stand from the table sharply, hitting your limits with this conversation. “I’ll be right back.”

You head for the bathroom, not even needing to do anything in there, but sure that you can busy yourself for a few minutes to get your emotions under control away from your friends. But as you’re about to swing the door shut behind you, a large hand reaches out to stop it with a thud, and Taehyung quickly slips in before closing the door himself.

“Tae, what are you—“

“Come with me.”

You’re practically chest-to-chest, and if not for the fact that you’ve stopped breathing with his question, you’d probably be pressed up against him in the tight space.

“What?”

He licks his lips, pulls in air through his nose like he’s bracing himself.

“Come to the wedding with me.”

The room is heavy with silence as his request fully sinks in, the air between you thick and hot as you try to get some of it into your lungs. It’s hard, though, to develop a coherent thought with him standing so close—his scent engulfing you and dark, searching eyes fixated on your expression.

“I don’t kno—“ you begin, but he’s quick to cut you off.

“Why not? Like Hobi said, neither of us is bringing anyone already.” His fingers brush yours—an apology for mentioning it again. “So why not go together and…not be as alone.”

You shift on your feet. “But you do know that you don’t have to do this. I’m fine without a plus one. There’s no shame in it for me.”

“Y/N,” he huffs. “You know that I like being around you, right?” He nudges gently against the underside of your chin, making you look at him directly. “I wouldn’t have stuck around this long if I didn’t.”

You’re still skeptical—nervous about the implications of what this would look like, especially when you just got out of a relationship. To you, it feels very much like teasing a boundary. But Taehyung is all nerves in front of you, gaze darting up-and-down your face and a tiny pull at the corner of his mouth telling you that he’s chewing on his lip.

And of course, because it’s him, you cave.

“Okay.”

He beams and, not for the first time, you feel your chest lighten at the sight of his boxy smile. “Okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” you say, smiling back.

“Okay.” Almost impossibly, his grin gets even wider, and you can see the wheels begin to turn in his head. “Do you have a dress picked out yet? What color is it? I can match you.”

It takes you aback. You wouldn’t have even thought about that. “Emerald green.”

“Emerald green,” he repeats, something registering behind his eyes, and he licks his lips again. “Okay. Great.”

He shifts like he's getting ready to leave, but you catch his fingers to reel him back. And you hate to put it out there, hate to even bring it up, but after everything you’ve been through, you need the clarity.

“And Tae,” you say, “this isn’t a date, right?”

He gives a slow blink, a wave of unknown emotion rippling from forehead to chin before he smiles gently at you, eyes softening at the corners. “Of course not.”

You nod. “Okay.” And a small part of you feels…disappointed?

But there's no time to dwell on it as he exits the bathroom, and you follow him out in spite of doing exactly zero bathroom things. You return to the dining room together, your friends clearly trying to look nonchalant as they diligently work on their party favors but being way too quiet to not have been trying to eavesdrop on your conversation.

“Sunny,” Taehyung says as you take your seats, looking positively brighter. “Just make sure we're sitting next to each other, yeah?”

She snorts. “As if you were anywhere else to begin with.”

Blue skies stretch endlessly in front of you, wind running through your hair and sunlight filtering in through the sunroof as you and Taehyung make the trip to the lakeside resort where Hoseok and Sunny are to be married. He's the absolute picture of relaxation in the driver's seat, wearing sunglasses and a mindless smile with his fingers wrapped delicately around the steering wheel like vines.

He'd opened the door for you when he picked you up, a seemingly spontaneous gesture that had left you both shy and blushing. But if the afternoon started with a touch of unusual awkwardness between you, the prospect of your “not a date” wedding date making itself known, it has since evaporated in the hot summer air. At this point, you’ve spent the past hour chatting, playing road trip games (Taehyung somehow destroying you in the alphabet game in spite of having to focus on driving), and burning through three boxes of Pepero.

“These are an addiction, I swear,” you say, crunching down on a chocolate-filled stick and clapping your hands in delight. Taehyung’s eyes leave the road for a second as he takes you in and grins.

“Was that the last of it?”

“Oh.” You peer into the box. Empty. “Yeah. Sorry. Did you want it?”

“No, it’s fine. You can have it.”

“I sure hope so since I already swallowed it.”

He laughs, whole face lighting up with it, and you feel something turn over behind your ribcage as if someone’s flipped your heart like a pancake. It makes you think that even though you were supposed to be making this trip with a different person, you’re glad it’s him instead.

My love only amounts to this.

The lyrics ring out through the car, and Taehyung leans forward suddenly, turning up the volume on the stereo.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s your favorite song!” he joyfully says. “I know you like to sing along.”

You stare at him blankly, taken aback because you don’t think you’ve ever mentioned this to him. When did he notice…?

“C’mon, sing with me. Play a song I know and one step. Hold my hands and put my feet in, two steps.”

His sweet baritone sounds out beside you, and you feel a grin break out across your face. You always forget what a joy it is to hear Taehyung sing.

“The person to know all my secrets is you,” you sing, joining along. “So I’m even more thankful.”

“Sometimes when you get tired, and I see you crying with your head down, I don't know what to do. What can I do?”

You’re both belting it out at the top of your lungs by the time it gets to the chorus, and you think the sun has somehow moved inside the car with how bright and warm you feel.

My love only amounts to this. But thank you for staying by my side, my baby.

Your car charges down the road, trailing laughter and joy in its wake, and your chest feels light for the first time in weeks.

Even if my love only amounts to this. I'll be your umbrella in the rain. I'll protect you on all your days.

Jimin, Maya, and Jungkook meet you in the hotel lobby—a marble behemoth with wrought iron staircases and sofas that definitely cost more than your rent—and you all line up to check in, gawking at the elaborate chandelier that hangs above your heads.

“How did they even afford this place?” Jimin wonders.

Maya sucks her teeth. “At this rate? I think they might have mob ties.”

“Feet pics,” Jungkook says simply.

Once everyone has obtained their key cards, you set off to find your rooms. You’re all on the same floor since a certain section was booked specifically for the wedding, but with you having a room with only a single queen-sized bed, you’re down the hall and away from the others who booked doubles.

While Jimin, Maya, and Jungkook break off to get acclimated in their own respective rooms, Taehyung follows you into yours with a touch of melancholy, your luggage slung over his shoulder.

“Are you sure you’re fine here alone?” he asks, setting your bag on the ground. “I can room with you if you’d like. I’m sure Kook wouldn’t mind.”

“There’s only one bed,” you point out, blushing.

Taehyung also goes slightly pink. “Well yeah, but the other week we just…or I can take the couch. Or we can ask Kook to swap rooms?”

“It’s okay,” you say. “I’m alone at the apartment all the time anyway.”

He nods, looking oddly shot down. “Alright. But if you change your mind, just ask.”

“Unlikely,” you tease with a wrinkle of your nose. “You snore.”

He gasps, feigning hurt. “I do not.”

He doesn’t. But you still tilt your head solemnly, pressing your lips together as if preparing to deliver bad news. “You do.”

“Shit,” he sighs before the two of you break down in giggles.

A few hours later, the five of you wind up at the resort’s restaurant for dinner, lamenting the exorbitant prices but enjoying an incredible meal. The night dwindles down as you settle in at the bar, figuring you can have a couple drinks before resting up for tomorrow’s big day. With a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows, you have a perfect view of the lake outside and the glow of the sunset spreading out above the trees. It tints the room orange, seeping onto every surface, including Taehyung’s forearms resting atop the bar.

You trace his veins with your eyes, study the way they trail to his hands curled lightly around his low ball glass. Your friends are talking about plans for tomorrow, but you’re not paying much attention; you’re far more interested in trying to figure out when your best friend’s arms started looking like that.

“And don’t worry, Chim. If I have the chance to get lucky, I’ll make sure not to use our room,” Maya says, placing a hand over her heart in pledge. “No locking you out because I’m a good friend.”

But Jungkook has tensed up next to you, and in spite of the cute pout of his lips, the creasing of his forehead suggests that he’s genuinely upset. “Hook-up? You’re going to find a hook-up?”

Maya looks at him incredulously, drink paused halfway to her lips. “Possibly. Aren’t you?”

“I…” His teeth bite into his lip. “It’s a wedding.”

She barks out a devilish laugh. “So? When has that ever stopped you?” A spiteful glare is sent his way that even has you shrinking behind him in secondhand shame. “Since when do you have morals?”

Taehyung’s knee squeezes against yours under the bar—a warning, probably, but your brain momentarily becomes fixated on the weight of it, on how nice it feels to have his warmth pressed against you. It’s not until he taps a finger against your thigh, signaling with his eyes at the sullen man behind you, that you pass on the touch, giving Jungkook’s elbow a gentle nudge in support and encouragement. He takes a quick look at you with sad, vulnerable eyes, and you’re reminded of how flustered he’d been during your conversation a few weeks ago.

“I was actually thinking,” he begins, more serious than you’ve ever seen him, “that maybe we could go together since neither of us have dates.”

Maya snorts, setting her drink down firmly on the countertop. “Why, so you can ditch me halfway through for the first woman that flutters her eyelashes at you? No thanks.”

Jungkook physically recoils like he’s been slapped, the force sending him back so far that he practically winds up in your lap. “You really think I would do that?”

His voice is tiny, hurt dripping from every syllable, and it makes Maya finally look up, face dropping as she seems to realize the wounds she’s inflicted upon him.

Her brows draw together, and she opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted by the bartender popping up to ask if anyone needs a refill. By the time he leaves, the moment’s passed, and Jungkook briskly stands up, throwing some money down on the bar.

“I’m done. See you guys tomorrow.” And he strides out towards the hotel lobby.

You hop to your feet, shaking your head at Maya. “That was uncalled for.”

She looks guilty but says nothing, rubbing a finger along the rim of her glass, and you follow Jungkook out, calling his name as he approaches the elevators.

“Jungkook!”

He spins to face you with a frown, thumbs hooked in his pants pockets like he’s trying to look casual, but his eyes betray his discomfort. “What?”

“She didn’t mean that,” you say, slightly breathless from your jog across the lobby. “I know she didn’t.”

“Sure she did. That’s who she is. Always speaks her mind.” He shrugs, shirt rippling over his shoulders. “It’s fine. I don’t care.”

“Don’t you though?” you ask. “You’re not a bad guy, Kook. You deserve simple respect at least.”

“Maybe I don’t.” The elevator dings, and he steps inside, turning back to you with a final sad smile. “Night, Y/N.”

A sense of dread taps into the back of your skull, fear that your original inkling on this relationship was perhaps correct. Though you’ve since warmed up to the idea of Maya and Jungkook as a potential couple, it was this exact tension that you were worried about—their fire and gasoline dynamic harboring implications that could blow up your entire friend group.

Taehyung strolls up next to you as the doors roll shut, sighing as he comes to a stop. “He okay?”

“No, but don’t try telling him that.”

He purses his lips. “I had a quick talk with Maya. Reminded her that just because she’s had bad experiences with guys in the past doesn’t give her the right to take it out on him.”

“Good,” you say. “She probably needed to hear it.”

A nod as he assesses your figure and asks, “Are you coming back to the bar? I already covered your tab.”

“Oh, I’ll pay you back—“

“Don’t worry about it,” he says. “You can make it up to me a different time.”

You smirk at him, stepping closer. “How about I roll it into your Christmas present?”

“Deal.”

You let out a soft laugh, and he offers to walk you up, pressing the button to call the elevator back. The two of you chat about nothing in particular as you make your way to the third floor, commenting on the ridiculously patterned carpet in the halls and laughing about the strangely risqué photos that you noticed hanging in the rooms.

When you arrive at your door, you swipe your key card over the sensor, turning the light from red to green and wishing Taehyung goodnight, but he loops his fingers around your wrist to lightly tug you back.

“Y/N.” He curls his bottom lip over his teeth, head dipping towards the ground in a shy smile as he searches for his words. “I’m…really looking forward to tomorrow. It’s going to be fun.”

He’s adorable; he truly is. Seventeen years of affection, and he still finds ways to endear you to him even more, bits of gold from the lamps catching on the browns of his eyes as he stands before you.

“It is,” you say, tongue tied around your own apprehension. He hums and looks like he wants to say more—tangles his fingers in front of him and chews on his lip as he fidgets. But after a moment passes—you still stuck on his eyes—he jerks his chin down in a nod, says goodnight, and leaves you standing at your door in confusion, taking one look back as he swipes his own key card down the hall and disappears into his room.

You enter your own space with your mind whirling, not sure what the hell just happened but also sure that you’re not upset about it. And once you’ve gone through your bedtime routine and settled in for the night, you fall asleep thinking about brown eyes and shy smiles, welcoming the most restful sleep you’ve had in weeks.

You awake to the sound of Maya knocking on your door promptly at 9am with her suitcase in hand, casually making her way to your bed when you let her in and picking up the hotel menu from the side table while you stare at her. "What are you doing?" "We are going to order room service and watch some shitty TV, and then I am going to help you get you ready for your date." "It's not a date," you say on impulse, though you're internally tamping down the involuntary flutter that's tickling your stomach. "If it's anything, it's a guy taking pity on his unexpectedly-single friend." "Pity date then." She says it with a nonchalant wave of her hand and doesn't give you the chance to speak when you open your mouth to protest. "Y/N, please, just give me the chance to make his jaw drop. If there really is nothing there like you say there is, then what's the harm?" The harm, you think to yourself, is the tingling feeling that's been increasing in intensity when you've been around Taehyung recently, warmth flooding your body at just the thought of him. Your brain has been desperately explaining it away, chalking it up to years of familiarity and comfort being stoked by the emotional trauma which (you're quick to remind yourself) you're still working through. No, Y/N, I don’t have feelings for you. It's these thoughts that, in the end, have you acquiescing as Maya lets out a joyful squeal. At the very least, you make your friend happy and get some well-deserved girl bonding time. Really, what's the harm?

The idea has barely finished running through your mind when you’re already beginning to regret it and wondering what the hell you just got yourself into. Maya wheels her entire suitcase to the foot of your bed and pulls out no less than seven bags of make-up, a curling iron, hairspray, four different brushes, and a straightener.

“Are you doing the entire wedding party after this?” you ask incredulously. “Why did you bring so much?”

“Needed to be ready for anything,” she says, organizing her tools into neat rows. “When I’m done with you, every straight man and half the women will be falling at your feet.”

Your face heats, and you subconsciously rub at your arm. “That’s really not necessary.”

“Okay, then just one man.” She raises her arms, fingers arranged into a square through which she peers at you like she’s sizing you up for a photograph. “Hmm, where should we start?”

You and Maya make your way to the resort's event hall a little while before the ceremony is scheduled to begin. Seating doesn't seem to have opened yet as guests mill about the entryway, the buzz of conversation filling the space above your heads, and the two of you pause at the top of the stairs to see if you can spot your friends. "I think Kook's got a purple tie," she says, peering around. "And you know what he's wearing why?" you ask, but she ignores you. "Oh, look, there they are." Maya's goal may have been to get Taehyung's jaw to drop, but you're left stunned when you look over to where he's standing with Jimin and Jungkook, the now-familiar tingle rippling through your veins once again. His black suit is perfectly tailored, accentuating his broad shoulders and narrow waist, emerald green tie wrapped around his neck to match the color of your dress as promised. He's slicked his hair back and away from his eyes so you're able to see how they nervously dart between Jimin and Jungkook, clearly not listening to whatever it is they're enthusiastically saying. Actually, once you look more closely, everything about his body language screams nerves for some reason, his hands moving back and forth to play with the hems of his jacket before smoothing the lapels over and over again. Maya waves, grabbing Jimin's attention, and you watch as he grins at the two of you before leaning in to say something to Taehyung, pointing at where you're standing. Maybe, you think, just maybe you appreciate Maya's plan from this morning after Taehyung glances up at you. His incessantly-moving fingers finally still—halfway through re-adjusting his tie—and his perfect Cupid's-bow-lips pop open, eyes wide as he soaks you in in your floor-length gown. Maya’s worked your hair into loose curls cascading over your shoulders and bare back, and while you convinced her to not go wild with the make-up, she strong-armed you into agreeing to a deep red lipstick that’s only accentuated by the green of your dress. A smug cough comes from your right (clearly Maya's pleased with her work) as you descend the stairs and approach the trio of men. Jimin and Jungkook greet you brightly while Taehyung still looks mildly concussed, continuing to stare at you with his mouth half-open. "Alright there, Tae?" you ask, reaching up to adjust and smooth out his tie, messy from where his hands had frozen on it.

The pads of your fingers are hot where they brush against the hard muscle of his chest, and you try not to read too deeply into the pounding of his heart. Taehyung makes a weird noise akin to what you'd imagine a drowning fish would sound like, and Jungkook gives him a sharp slap on the back, which seems to knock him out of whatever trance he'd fallen into. "Incredible!" he blurts, and you almost want to laugh at the reset-button-like effect Jungkook's smack seems to have on him. He clears his throat, composing himself further. "I, um—you, I mean. You look incredible." You thank him, ignoring the second wave of smugness that comes from Maya's direction, just as the event staff open the doors and begin ushering guests into the hall. Taehyung offers you his arm, and you gladly take it as he guides you to sit alongside your friends.

The wedding hall is as grandiose as the rest of the hotel, with columns ornamenting the sides of the room and a massive flower arch constituting the altar. You all talk as you wait for the ceremony to begin, admiring the decor (the bright bouquets of red, purple, and blue flowers pop against the stark white of the venue) and trying to see if you recognize any of the guests.

“Oh, there’s Sunny’s cousin Chan,” Maya says, peering out over the room. “Remember we met him at that party one time?”

“Didn’t the two of you drunkenly make-out?” you ask.

Jimin frowns. “I thought they hooked up.”

“No, Y/N is right.” She fixes her hair, oblivious to the way Jungkook is now staring at the man in question, hackles raised. “Wouldn’t say no to that happening again; he was good with his hands. Tae, are you alright? You’re looking at Y/N like she’s sprouted four more arms.”

You swivel your head around to see Taehyung next to you, entirely flushed red above the shoulders. He licks his lips as he meets your eyes, blinking furiously like he’s trying to clear his thoughts. “Sorry, I spaced out.”

“Uh-huh. Sure.” Maya waves a dismissive hand, shuffling her attention to Jimin to ask if he knows about the music choices for the ceremony.

A throat clears on your right. “You do look nice. Really.” Taehyung looks utterly sheepish, his head tilted low as he softly pays you the compliment, and it reminds you of how shy he was last night as well. A butterfly takes flight in your chest, and now you’re the one blushing.

“Thank you. You cleaned up nicely, too,” you reply, and he blinks at you in a way that has you second guessing your words. “Not that you don’t always clean up nicely. And not that you don’t normally look very handsome. Because you do. Look very handsome, I mean. All the time.”

His bashfulness morphs into amusement, lips quirking up in an affectionate smile. “Oh, really?”

Your face heats up even more, mouth opening to respond with you don’t even know what, and you’re grateful when a hush falls over the room, the beginning notes of a wedding march signaling the ceremony’s start.

Hoseok appears first, looking dapper in a full tuxedo and grinning ear-to-ear. He walks down the aisle with long strides like he can’t possibly get to the end fast enough, bouncing on his toes as he settles into his spot.

The officiant is next, followed by Iseul and Seokmin, one of Hoseok’s childhood friends. Hana and Namjoon stroll in arm-in-arm after that, then Yumi and Jiho, and finally, everyone rises to their feet as Sunny appears at the entrance and begins her walk in, gaze finding only her groom.

Just as Sunny reaches the head of the aisle, a teary-eyed Hoseok taking her hands in his, another image, one which had once occupied your mind almost constantly but hadn't plagued you in weeks, takes hold: you and Jace in a similar setting, pledging forever to each other in front of your friends and family.

Maybe you had gotten ahead of yourself—the discovery of the ring box in his desk along with the natural longevity of your relationship sparking your imagination—but in the weeks leading up to your heartbreak, you had allowed your mind to plan—what kind of dress you'd wear, the colors you'd pick out, what you might say in your vows. It seems stupid now, dwelling on a future that's already evaporated into nothingness, but seeing the echoes of your dreams being played out in front of you, it’s like you can feel the sand physically slipping through your fingers.

Right as it starts to become too much, as you feel your chest tighten and heart ache, there's a brush of skin against the side of your hand, and glancing down, you see that Taehyung's reached over to quietly hook his pinky with yours. You turn to face him, but he keeps his eyes directed on the bride and groom, face neutral and unreadable, and you know he's giving you the chance to pull away, no questions asked.

But the gesture has warmth flooding through you, thawing the ice of your previous thoughts, and so you move to slip your hand under his, lacing your fingers and pressing your palms together tightly.

Taehyung looks at you then, a shy smile crinkling his eyes and twisting up the corners of his mouth, and you grin back, the previous ache in your chest replaced with a steady flutter as he begins to skim his thumb back and forth in a gentle caress.

You stay that way for the rest of the ceremony—watching your friends vow eternity to each other, Taehyung's hand tethered with yours.

Classical music drifts from the speakers at the back of the room as you find your seats for the reception. The ballroom is tremendous, with tall, arched ceilings, a gorgeous chandelier, and a wide dance floor that you’re sure will see a ton of action later. With the tables seating eight, you see that you’ve been placed in a grouping of you, Taehyung, Maya, Jimin, Jungkook, and three of Hoseok’s medical school friends, who introduce themselves as Wonwoo, Joshua, and Mingyu.

Thankfully, your group hits it off immediately. Wonwoo is rather reserved, more an observer of those around him than anything, but Taehyung and Jimin quickly strike up a conversation with Joshua about college after the latter mentions having gone to the same school as you, albeit never crossing paths. Maya and Mingyu, meanwhile, immediately fall into their own introductions, talking about how they know Hoseok and Mingyu’s studies to become a doctor.

“If you ever need a headshot or something, let me know,” Maya says, laying a hand on his arm. Across the table, Jungkook's head shoots up. “I do work as a photographer and would be happy to help.”

“Oh, really?” Mingyu makes no move to remove her hand; if anything, he shifts even closer. “What are your rates?”

“For you? Free of charge. Any friend of Hoseok is a friend of mine.” They're in their own little bubble now, Jungkook watching wide-eyed. “Besides, you'd be doing me a favor. With a face like that, you're a photographer's dream. Perfect model.”

Mingyu smirks. “A face like what?”

“Dangerously handsome.”

“HEY, WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT TO SPECIALIZE IN?”

Jungkook practically screams it, and not only do Maya and Mingyu turn to look at him in bewilderment, but so does the rest of the table and a few guests in the neighboring seats.

Joshua clears his throat awkwardly, eying Jungkook like he might be rabid. “I’m trying for pediatrics.”

“Surgery,” Wonwoo says.

Maya turns towards her new companion. “What about you, Mingyu?”

He leans back in his chair. Gives a light tug on his tie. “I have a residency lined up in obstetrics and gynecology.”

“Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me—”

“Jungkook,” Taehyung says, cutting him off as he slides his chair back from the table. “Why don’t you help me get a round of drinks?”

“But—“

“C’mon.” He says it gently, like he’s trying to coax a toddler, and rises to his feet, giving you a gentle tap on the shoulder as he goes. “Cosmo?”

“Yes, please,” you say, and he nods, dropping a quick wink your way as Jungkook joins him, grumbling under his breath.

Joshua watches them walk away in the direction of the bar. “Is he always this…”

“Annoying?” Maya scoffs.

“Transparent.” Wonwoo quietly smirks.

A gentle laugh sounds on your left as Jimin hears. “I don’t know that anyone has ever described Jungkook as subtle in his life.”

Maya frowns, Mingyu looking downright perplexed at her side. “I don’t think I quite understand what’s going on,” he begins, but Maya soothes him with another press of her hand to his arm.

“Don’t worry about him. It doesn’t matter,” she says. “Tell me more about your residency.”

The reception passes in a swirl of music and drinks and food—and oh goodness, the food. Plates heaped with calamari, crab legs, and tiny filets wrapped in bacon are placed at the table by wait staff as your group digs in. Even Jungkook is placated, no longer scowling at Maya and Mingyu.

"Ughhh, I am never eating this well again," Jimin groans, stretching back in his chair and giving an exaggerated rub to his belly.

"You'd best get ready to," Taehyung says from your other side. "This isn't even dinner."

"This isn't even dinner?!"

Dinner turns out to be just as delicious and lavish as the appetizers, and it's no surprise that once dancing starts, your friends opt to stay seated for a while longer talking and digesting. As the party climbs to a full swing, Mingyu asks Maya to dance, Jimin and Jungkook start a debate on whether the butt is one body part or two, and Taehyung excuses himself to the restroom.

“It’s one part that’s split!” Jimin loudly exclaims. “The top is connected!”

“Jimin, go home, stand in front of the mirror, and pull your right ass cheek up. See if your left cheek comes up with it, and then get back to me, you absolute clown.”

“Do they do this a lot?” Joshua asks, the two idiots arguing between you.

“At least once a month.” You take a sip of your drink as you look on, bored. “I’m pretty sure this one is a rerun from last Halloween.”

“It’s one,” Wonwoo says, amused.

A flash of green catches your eye, and you look up to see Taehyung standing by the side of the bar, speaking with a woman. She's about your age, you think, and pretty, wearing a low-cut dress that certainly accentuates her chest.

She and Taehyung are talking excitedly, and you can tell he's putting the charm on—eyes bright, signature boxy smile lighting up his face. Nausea simmers in the pit of your stomach, and you force your attention back towards Jimin and Jungkook, trying to focus on whatever nonsense they're debating now.

This isn't a “date-date,” you remind yourself. And Taehyung hasn't had a relationship in a year—not since he was so torn up after Luna. He deserves to meet someone.

You’re spaced out next to your friends, still only halfway listening to them jabber on about butt cheeks, when a slow song starts up over the speakers and, within seconds, a hand is being extended over your shoulder.

You look up to find Taehyung's eyes gazing steadily down at you, a small but confident smile playing on his lips.

"Dance with me?"

And in spite of the unease that had plagued you only moments ago, you don't hesitate to let him wrap up your small hand in his large one and lead you to the dance floor. His palm settles on your lower back to pull you in close, and maybe it’s the proximity or the intoxicating smell of his cologne that weakens your resolve, but you find the words spilling out.

"Did you get her number?"

Taehyung looks at you quizzically, brow furrowing in confusion. "Whose?"

"The woman at the bar."

His face relaxes as he realizes. "Oh, yeah. I did."

"Good." You manage a smile. Why does it feel so hard? "It really is…good you're getting back out there. Are you going to ask her on a date?"

He laughs, mischief in his eyes. "I don't think her fiancé would like that." And now it's your turn to look confused.

"Her fiancé?"

"I met the two of them through Hoseok a couple times so we've chatted. Nice people." He nods his head, and you look over to see the woman now dancing with a man not too far from you. "They just got engaged, and she knows I'm a photographer so she asked if I'd be interested in doing the wedding. I said I'd call her this week to talk about it."

"Oh." You can feel your face flush, but there's no doubting the relief that floods through you. And Taehyung surely notices, grinning down at you in amusement.

"Were you jealous?"

"No!" you say, but perhaps a little too quickly because Taehyung laughs, his fingers applying a gentle pressure to your back to pull you closer.

"I'm here with you," he murmurs matter-of-factly.

You shake your head at him. "It's fine, Tae. If someone catches your eye…like I said, it could be good—"

"I'm here with you," he repeats, more firmly this time. He releases your hand for a moment to tuck a stray curl behind your ear, and you have to look away. You spot Hoseok and Sunny swaying together in the middle of the dance floor, pressed closely together and smiling at each other like they're the only two people in the world. What it must be like to have someone look at you like that, you think, to hold you like you're something precious to be cherished. You had thought Jace made you feel that way, but now, watching your friends gaze at each other so delicately, so in love, you're no longer sure he even came close.

"What are you looking at?" Taehyung's voice rouses you out of your thoughts, and you suddenly notice his hand has drifted a little higher to where the back of your dress dips down low, exposing your bare skin.

Trying to pass off the shiver that involuntarily runs through you as a nod, you gesture at the newly married couple. "They're so good together."

Taehyung follows your line of sight, watching Hoseok lean down to murmur something in Sunny's ear that makes her giggle and press her face into his chest. "They are."

"Can you imagine loving someone like that?" Your voice is a bare whisper as if the words slipped out on their own accord, like a wish you didn't even realize you were making.

Taehyung's fingers splay at your spine, gently tugging you in until your hips are bumping his. Startled, your eyes snap back to him, breath catching in your chest. He's gazing at you intently, but as opposed to the intense fire that you've seen from him at times, there's only a deep warmth to his brown irises that you're not sure you've ever seen before. He looks at you with softness, with both a sense of familiarity and wonder that can only be attributed to your many years of companionship, and you see it all swimming behind his eyes—every day spent together seeking refuge from your families, every stupid childhood fight, every time you comforted each other through the bad days. And before you can deflect, can explain away the question as a rhetorical slip of the tongue, you hear his answer come out on a breath.

"Yes."

There’s a weight to it, the word landing from his lips like a stone into water, and you suddenly forget where you are. The world around you fades away: faces, music, and noise all receding into the background until it’s just him and you, you and him.

Just like it’s always been.

Taehyung's head dips towards you as if pulled by gravity, and your body responds in turn, hand sliding from his shoulder to the hair at the nape of his neck and eyes fluttering shut. Your breaths mingle together, his nose lightly brushing against yours, and you find yourself on the brink of keening forward, on the brink of diving headfirst into a place of no return, when—

"Hey, we're going to step outside for some air. Do you guys wanna—oh."

You spring apart. Jimin is staring at the two of you, eyes so wide you're worried they might fall out of his head. His hand is still half-raised, pointing in the direction of the doors behind him, and you use this to make your escape.

"Yeah sounds good I'll come outside definitely," you babble before speeding towards the exit. Glancing back over your shoulder, you see Jimin say something animatedly to Taehyung, but the latter shakes his head and mumbles something back, his face pink.

The night air is cool on your skin, and you could not be more grateful for it because what the fuck was that?

Were you really about to kiss your best friend? Or was he going to kiss you? Things had certainly been…different between you two recently, but this surely would have been an awful idea. If something went wrong or there was a misunderstanding, you'd likely never be able to come back from it.

He said he doesn't have feelings for you.

…But do you have feelings for him?

Maybe yes, his smile has always set your heart alight unlike anything else and yes, your brain seems to have been lingering recently on how damn handsome he is and yes, you'd do anything for him at the drop of a hat—follow him anywhere—but given your history, of course you would, right? He's your best friend.

And he deserves to be more than a rebound. Because that's what this must be—lingering heartbreak amplified by the emotions of a wedding. You may have even imagined Taehyung leaning towards you, a desperate fantasy of a mind just wanting to be loved.

That's it, you decide. Your brain must have finally snapped into a world of delusion.

You're so caught up in your thoughts that you don't hear Jungkook approach you, practically jumping out of your skin when he places a gentle hand on your arm.

"Y/N—shit—you okay?" He looks at you with his big doe eyes wide and apologetic.

"Yeah," you say, as your racing heart begins to calm. "You just startled me."

"Sorry, I tried to call you, but I don't think you heard. We're back over there if you want to join us." He nods his head in the direction of a patio area behind him, and you spot Namjoon, Joshua, and Wonwoo sitting around a table next to an elegant fountain, its ornamental lights illuminating the magnificent swan sitting atop it. They’re all laughing and, for some reason, the sight makes your chest tighten.

"Um, maybe in a little bit. I think I might just need a walk right now."

Jungkook studies you, biting ever so slightly into his bottom lip, and you think you see something in the way of understanding behind his eyes (you wonder if it has anything to do with the notable absence of Maya and Mingyu). "Do you want company?"

When you just give him a small smile and shake your head, he nods.

"Okay, well…you know where to find us." He moves to rejoin the others, but then turns back towards you, taking easy steps on his heels. "And just shout if you need a friend."

You meander around the outside of the hotel, following the stone path that paves its way around the perimeter. There's a certain kind of peace out here. Though the summer is nearing its close, you can still hear crickets chirping in the grass and spot the occasional firefly dangling in the air. You focus on the swishing of the cars out on the main road and try to let the sound clear your mind, but as you settle on a short brick wall overlooking the property's enormous lake, you realize it's no use.

Your eyes drift closed as you sink into the grief once again, let it slowly overtake you like quicksand until your lungs are crushed and burning. But more than anything, you’re simply exhausted—perpetually drained by the demons which have once again arrived to feast on your psyche.

At this point, you think most of your frustration lies with yourself. Maybe you’re being overdramatic, maybe you should be over it by now—if only you were stronger, more resilient. Not the miserable pushover you feel you’ve turned out to be. Harsh? Yes. Unfair? Perhaps. This does feel like the breaking point in your life’s long line of abandonments, digging up feelings you haven’t felt since you were a child.

But that being said, it also makes you feel like you should be used to it by now. Should be used to having to bounce back—what else can you expect from the world at this point, really? What a fool you were to even think that this time would be different.

The sound of quiet footsteps has you opening your eyes again, and you’re not sure whether the man in front of you is the first or last person you want to see right now.

Taehyung has his hands in his pockets, watching you with that calculated expression he always has on when he’s trying to gauge your mood. But all you can see in his face on your end is concern, not a hint of awkwardness or trepidation after what just transpired between the two of you in the ballroom.

So it really must have been all in your head.

“Are you okay?” he asks. “Kook said you seemed upset.”

“I’m fine.” You try to push out a smile, but he unsurprisingly sees right through it, closing the gap between you and gesturing at the spot to your right.

“Mind if I sit?”

You’re still not entirely in the mood for company but you can’t bring yourself to say no to him, so you give the tiniest of nods and Taehyung settles on the wall next to you.

The two of you sit in silence for a bit, the buzz of the surrounding trees continuing its serenade. Taehyung doesn’t push, doesn’t say anything, only provides a steady presence. On particularly bad days when you were kids, you’d both wander down to the local playground and sit on the swings for a while. Sometimes you’d talk—either to rant and let it all out or make each other laugh to distract yourselves—but most nights, you’d just sit in the quiet and enjoy the feeling of not being alone.

It feels like that now, with Taehyung’s warmth radiating at your shoulder and the stars hanging above, but tonight, you’re compelled to speak.

“I’m really pathetic, huh?”

Taehyung’s eyes flash as he looks over at you, but he doesn’t interrupt, sensing you want to say more.

“I’m at my friends’ wedding, I’m supposed to be celebrating them and their love for each other, and instead I’m out here having a pity party.” You scoff. “It’s pathetic and selfish.”

“First of all, we are out here having a pity party,” Taehyung begins, and it draws a sudden laugh from you that you think sounds halfway deranged, but he only smiles.

"Secondly, you're not pathetic, and you're not selfish. You just went through a traumatic event, you know? You're allowed to have emotions."

"I know, but I just don't…want to," you sigh. "I just want it all to stop. I'm so tired of feeling weighed down especially on a day like this, but it's like it just doesn't end. The reminders don't end."

"You thought he'd be here," Taehyung says softly, and though his head nods slightly in understanding, his voice is tinged with sadness. "You miss him."

"I—that's not exactly it, no," you quickly say, not wanting him to think that you somehow regret being here with him. "Given what he did…like you’ve said, it's not forgivable, so it's not like I wish he was here. I mean, sure, are there some days where I reflexively think about him and stuff? Of course—we were together for four years—but I…still would prefer to never see him again."

Taehyung lets out a short sigh that you interpret as approval, but he stays quiet, giving you time to work out your thoughts.

"I think it's more the loss of security than anything. Seeing Hoseok and Sunny up at the alter…I couldn't help thinking that I was so, so close to that—to having that one person that I could commit to walking through life with. A partner, a friend, just someone to have day-in and day-out. Forever." You choke up, a fresh wave of tears lodging in your throat that you try to keep down. Taehyung is stiff next to you, staring down at his hands in his lap.

"And I want that, Tae. I want that so bad. But it's…so scary to start from scratch after feeling that close. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm just constantly overwhelmed and feel like I can't outrun it, and then I feel guilty on days like this because I shouldn't be letting it get to me, and—"

"Hey, hey, Y/N, shhhh." Taehyung finally jumps in as you begin to spiral, reaching out to take your hand in his. "You don't have to worry or feel guilty because you are going to have all of that. Okay? You will."

"You can't know that."

"I do." He slips his pinky around yours briefly before his hand comes up to cup your jaw, guiding your eyes to his. "I promise you. I don't know how far out it'll be, but one day we'll all be together again at a place like this, and it'll be your turn." He gets a faraway look in his eye, seemingly perceiving something that you're struggling to even grab a glimpse of right now. "It'll be everything you've ever dreamed of—intimate and outdoors, right? I know you always said growing up that you were going to get married at the Spring Day Gardens. If you still want it, it'll be yours."

You let his words draw you in, painting you a picture so beautiful you're afraid to even let your heart believe in it. But his baritone voice presses on.

"And it'll be perfect. Not a cloud in the sky—nothing but sunshine. And we'll all be there, and you'll have your favorite lily bouquet and your perfect dress…"

Something stops him, and he blinks at you, dropping his palm from your face and glancing away at the lights from the party before resuming his tale.

"And the guy…" He licks his lips, and you feel the hand that's still holding yours tighten ever so slightly. "He's going to love you so much. Properly love you. He's going to see you come down that aisle and weep because he's just going to know that he's the luckiest guy in the universe. And if he doesn't cry right away, I'll kick him in the shins up there until he does because in spite of what Jimin and Jungkook think, we all know that I'm actually your best man."

You let out a watery giggle, the tears flowing freely now, and Taehyung reaches up to swipe a few off your cheeks, letting out a chuckle of his own.

"I want to believe you," you say quietly. "And hopefully one day I will. I just…I need more time."

"Whatever you need, you know I'm here for you," he murmurs, and you nod.

You fall back into silence for a few moments, Taehyung dutifully continuing to hold your hand while you lightly sniffle and wipe at your cheeks.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to go back to the party like this—I think you ruined my make-up," you joke, trying to lighten the mood.

"Maybe, but you're the prettiest raccoon I've ever seen."

You laugh in earnest now, your shoulders shaking with it, and Taehyung smiles at you before suddenly rising to his feet.

"Wait here," he says, and then he's jogging back up towards the venue.

The silence envelops you again as you continue to mull over Taehyung's vision. Your battered heart is hesitant to dream, all of your imaginings coming in with fuzzy edges and blurry details that you just can't seem to place. But you're sure Taehyung was definitely right about one thing—you can't imagine a situation where you get married without him standing by your side.

It's a handful of minutes later when the man himself finally reappears with a hand behind his back and a mischievous smile on his face. When you raise your eyebrows at him in question, he comes to a halt in front of you and presents a full fifth of your favorite whiskey.

"What do you say we get out of here?"

The dim hotel lights cast a soft glow about the room as you and Taehyung pass the bottle back and forth, the mood significantly more casual than the extravagant party you just ditched. The decor may be fancy—Hoseok and Sunny certainly didn’t skimp when it came to location—but the two of you are perfectly rumpled, stretched out on the expensive sheets: you having removed your make-up and changed into your pajamas and Taehyung propped up against the headboard with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his jacket and tie tossed over the couch.

You’ve started up a game of Truth or Drink, a somewhat milder version of Truth or Dare, where you get to take turns asking each other questions, and the respondent has the chance to either answer the question or take a mouthful of whiskey. Normally, between you and Taehyung, such a game would be low stakes, with your shared years and few secrets between you making it hard to ask challenging questions. But something about tonight and the need for a distraction seems to have made both of you competitive, going for questions that you know the other wouldn’t want to answer.

“What was the last thing you cried about?”

“One thing you don’t like about me?”

“Favorite position?”

“Did you really lose your virginity in a tree house?”

“What’s your greatest fear?”

"If you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?"

"Oh God, one of those cupcakes from Sweet Night Bakery," you groan. It was a place you had passed every day on the way to school, the wafting scents of cookies and cakes playing pied piper to your youthful noses. You had always dreamed of one day being able to afford the expensive pastries but had fled your hometown before having the adult money to do so.

"Seriously? Anything in the world and you want a cupcake?" Taehyung laughs, pink tongue poking out from behind his teeth.

"It's not just anything, it's one of my life's dreams," you counter, playfully shaking a fist at him for emphasis, but Taehyung seems unconvinced. "Fine then, if you have such a good answer. Same question."

He tilts his head at you, a mild haze in his eyes that tells you that while he's not drunk-drunk, he's definitely tipsy. A beat passes and he takes a drink.

"Ooh, mysterious," you slur. "But I win."

"Alright, alright." He grins at you. "I concede to your sugary dreams."

You mirror his smile, observe the way his fingers curl in his lap as you try to think of your next question. He’s always had nice hands—so delicate and careful with everything he touches. It’s odd, you think, how such gentleness could emerge from a home and upbringing that was anything but. How someone as bright as Taehyung could come from such darkness.

“Do you want kids one day?”

The question takes him by surprise when you ask it, and he physically startles, turning the bottle in his hands slowly. “I don’t know. Why?” He looks at you then, and you feel like you can see a riddle being worked out in his head. “Where did that question come from?”

“I don’t know,” you echo. “You spent so much time earlier imagining a future for me. I realized that we’ve never really talked about what you want for yourself outside of your career.”

Growing up, you’d discussed your dreams for the future, of course. But while you have always skewed towards the romantic, envisioning rings and weddings and vows, Taehyung’s always been much more practical and career-oriented—his plans always involved degrees and promotions and retirement funds.

A beat passes as he continues to fidget with the whiskey bottle before he again says, “I’m really not sure.”

“Well think about it now,” you challenge. “Or drink up.”

He chuckles to himself, some private joke in his head. “It would terrify me, I think. But I’d love them with everything I’ve got. Want to give them everything I didn’t have and be better than my parents were.”

You hum in agreement; you’ve had the same thoughts on occasion. Some who grew up in your situation may have been turned off the idea of children—and the idea does scare you in certain respects—but you’ve always been stubborn. “It’d be a chance to prove that it doesn’t have to be that hard. That you didn’t deserve what you went through.”

Fingers graze against yours in a subtle show of kinship. As always, you understand each other. “Exactly.”

And he may be struggling to imagine it, but you can see it so clearly: a small boy with big, brown eyes and a boxy smile riding on Taehyung’s shoulders. The two of them playing in the sand at the beach house or walking down the street together—the boy’s tiny hand tucked safely in his father’s.

The image chokes you up, fills you with so much warmth you think you might burst.

“You’d be an amazing father, Tae.”

There’s not a single doubt in your mind about it—that this incredible, thoughtful, selfless man would also be a wonderful dad. He doesn’t look so sure, but a flicker of recognition passes through him.

“You’ve said that to me once before,” he murmurs.

“I did?”

A nod. “One time when you were drunk junior year.”

You don’t remember it, the memory lost to the alcohol. “I guess drunk me has flashes of brilliance.”

“Maybe we’ll see someday.”

“I hope we will.”

Suddenly nervous, he swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing in the long column of his neck. “But it’d have to be with the right person.”

“Has there ever been anyone who you thought was close?”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “You’re asking a disproportionate amount of questions.”

Reaching over, you pull the bottle from his hands, drink down a mouthful of burning liquor, and set it right back in his lap. “Answer.”

Wide eyes appraise you through the dim light; he looks almost impressed. “No.”

“No, there’s never been someone you could see a future with, or no, you won’t answer?”

“The first one,” he says. “I’ve never been with someone I could imagine having kids with.”

You frown, the blunt despondence in his tone cutting. “Not even Luna?”

A look is thrown your way—pursed lips and creased brow telling you that’s a stupid question.

“What happened with her?”

He scoffs, lips immediately wrapping around the bottle as he takes a gulp.

“So something did happen.”

“We broke up,” he states. “That’s what happened.”

“Yeah, but you’ve never said why.”

He shrugs as if it’s no big deal. As if you’ve just asked him what he wants for dinner and not why the longest relationship of his life ended. “We weren’t compatible.”

You can’t help but sigh, a small part of you hurt that he still refuses to talk about it, that he’s closed this part of himself off to you. “You don’t trust me?”

“Y/N, no.” He shakes his head, looking genuinely remorseful to have given you that impression. “That’s not it. It’s just…impossibly complicated—“

“Was it me?” You’re suddenly reminded of a conversation with Maya from weeks ago, when she’d suggested that you were the reason all of Taehyung’s relationships had failed.

His lips part, tongue pushing into his cheek like he’s trying to hold words back.

“It was, wasn’t it?” you push, and his teeth dig into his tongue now, chewing. “You can tell me. I can handle i—“

“You were part of it, yes.”

In spite of what you’ve just said, the words land like a blow. You’ve spent years watching him go through breakup after breakup, and now you find out that you were a source of that anguish all along—helped fuel that heartbreak in his life.

It pains you to think you’ve been holding him back.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” you whisper.

“Because there was nothing to tell. It didn’t matter.”

“It does matter, Tae. If I’m getting in the way of your relationships…I want you to be happy.”

“You make me happy.”

That silences you, the sincerity in his voice leaving you blinking at him, and he continues.

“She didn’t like how close we are—most of them haven’t. But it doesn’t matter because at the end of the day, I’ll always choose you. And that’s the end of it. Nothing left to tell.”

You feel like you should protest this, insist on him putting himself and his future first.

But given similar circumstances, wouldn’t you do the same for him?

“Did Jace ever give you shit about us?” he asks, reading your mind.

He had, ranting about Taehyung that night in some fucked up attempt to explain away why you’d found him in bed with another woman. Before then, you hadn’t noticed the signs: hadn’t picked up on his reluctance to spend time with your friends, hadn’t read into the way he stuck close to your side on the rare occasions he did, a possessive arm always tight around your waist.

It all made sense afterwards, and you hate that the vulnerability and anguish of the moment made you question your own actions. You never would’ve shut Taehyung out—never in a million years—but it initially made you think that maybe if you’d been more attentive towards Jace, had been more sensitive to his feelings, that maybe you wouldn’t have wound up in the situation you did.

You recognize now that he didn’t deserve it in the end, obviously, but heartbreak is a funny thing.

Not wanting to have to admit to any of that out loud, you whisk the bottle from Taehyung’s hands again and drink. He watches the movement of your throat with heavy, knowing eyes, immediately taking the whiskey back for his own sip once you’ve finished.

“I must admit,” he says, the alcohol clearly loosening his tongue as he sags against the headboard. “I’m a little relieved about things ending for you and Jace. Aside from him being a certified douchebag, I mean.”

You frown, not sure where he’s going with this, and the look on your face must come across as offense because he’s quick to clarify.

“Not that I liked seeing you hurt.” He shakes his head, and you can see some anger at the situation still lingering under the surface. “No, never. But I just…now I get to keep you longer at least.”

“Keep me?”

“Yeah, this…” He wags a finger between you. “You know this has to end one day, right?”

The whiskey should be warming, but your veins fill with ice at his words. Losing Jace was one thing. Losing Taehyung would be a different matter entirely.

“You’re always going to have me,” you say, reaching for his pinky.

But he pulls his hand away.

“Not like this.” He smiles with what you assume to be intended comfort, but his entire demeanor is tainted with sadness. “One day, when you have the dream guy and the family and the white picket fence, there won’t be room for me. Not like this.”

It feels like earlier—him trying to paint you a picture of a possible future for you—but unlike earlier, you can’t picture this future. You don’t want it. Not if he’s not there.

“Tae—“

“It’s okay, Y/N.” He gives another sad smile, takes another drink. “No husband is going to want a third wheel hanging around. I understand. I want you to be happy, too.”

But you wouldn’t be happy without him, and in many ways, you’ve always known that to be true. But that knowledge hits you now with such force, such raw truth, that it renders you speechless and leaves you staring at him, drunken eyes laser-focused as if discovering the very center of the universe.

You want to challenge him on his statement, make him see that he’s wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But the alcohol muddles your thoughts, has your brain dropping half-formed sentences through your mind like Scrabble pieces that you can’t quite wrangle into a coherent thought.

Taehyung takes your silence for agreement and, seeming to suddenly realize that some kind of line has just been crossed, takes the quiet opportunity to flip the conversation back to your game.

“The shoes you gave me for my seventeenth birthday,” he begins, the words tipping out slow and oddly calculated for someone who’s had as much to drink as he has. “Where did the money come from?”

You know where he’s going with this. And it’s perhaps the only secret you’ve kept from him in the entirety of your friendship. “Christmas money, I told you.”

“No, really.”

“Why don’t you believe me?”

“I never saw that house decorated for Christmas even once.”

“Could’ve been from an aunt or uncle.”

“But it wasn’t, was it?”

It wasn’t. You snuck the money out of your father’s desk one day knowing that he wouldn’t have even noticed it was missing. Absent-minded in everything aside from work, your father had misplaced things constantly. You drink. And even though it’s supposed to be an avoidance of the question, it gives him his answer.

“I knew it.”

“They weren’t going to miss it, and you needed it more.”

“You could’ve gotten in so much trouble.”

“I knew I wouldn’t. I didn’t. And it was worth the risk regardless.”

Looking back, you wish you’d had more of a fear of getting caught—wish your parents would’ve scolded you, screamed at you, anything. It would’ve been better than the indifference you’d been met with day in and day out. As if you were invisible.

Taehyung’s head swings from side-to-side. “You shouldn’t have. I would’ve been okay.”

“And you shouldn’t have punched Jace in that club, but you did anyway, didn’t you?”

“That’s different.”

“It’s not. You’re not the only one who gets to put your ass on the line for the people you care about. You were worth the risk.”

He blinks, regarding you as if you’ve presented him with some outlandish concept. Like you’ve asked him to explain rocket science or open-heart surgery. “Then you should’ve told me then.”

“You would’ve given them back.”

“Maybe, but then at least we would’ve been in it together instead of you lying to me.”

“And you’ve never lied to me?”

He hesitates, tongue tracing his bottom lip. “No.”

“Okay, then. Truth or drink: what’s the worst lie you’ve ever told?”

You know there must be one, can read it in the way his shoulder is suddenly pressed against yours as he tilts into you. Fingertips skim the bare skin of your knee, tentative in their movements, and you can smell the alcohol on his breath as the distance between you closes to mere centimeters, his gaze roaming your face and snagging on your mouth.

And you feel it—the pull that you’ve always felt towards him, the gravitational force that’s kept you in the same orbit since you were children. Two souls that intertwined the moment they sensed the other’s presence with a flash of awareness and said, You, you, you.

Thinking back on the entirety of your life, you don’t know how you possibly could have made it through without him: your best friend, your partner, your sanctuary. In such a volatile world—a turbulent youth marred by uncertainty and sorrow—he took your hand and held you steady, made sure you didn’t go through it alone.

In hindsight, you can’t truly regret it. Yes, there will always be a part of you that will resent your parents, wish that they would have loved you enough to spare you the hurt and stress they put you through. But just like the night when he brought you back to your apartment—held you close as you fell asleep in his embrace—your memories with him far outweigh the trauma you endured. When you think of your time spent growing up, he is by far the brightest star, outshining any darkness that may have lingered at the corners. It’s not the empty house or your parents’ stony faces that you think of first, but him: blanket forts and starry nights and walks in the park and blurry photographs and sometimes tears, sure, but only with him there to hold you.

Looking at this man in front of you, in every familiar line of his face and body, you know, without a crumb of doubt, that you’d do it all again. Screw Jace and Luna and your parents and anyone else who’s expressed disdain at your closeness with him. He’s written into every line of your history, every memory that’s worth something. And he may fight you on it, but he’s worth every risk you’ve ever taken—you would’ve stolen a thousand pairs of shoes for him. You’d move mountains and drain the oceans if he needed you to. You’d do anything.

You couldn’t live without him. You don’t want to live without him.

A moment of clarity, a wave of revelation as you lock eyes and are met with your favorite color. And at long last, you find the words.

I love you.

Your heart throws itself off a cliff…

And you lean in to press your lips to his.

a/n: happy holidays to all who celebrate 😊

#taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #bts x reader #bts x you #bts imagines #taehyung imagines #taehyung fic #taehyung fanfic #bts fluff #bts angst #taehyung #bts fic #bts fanfic

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nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 9 months ago

Note

thank you so much for writing my Valentine’s Day request! I would definitely love to see a part 2 or a mini series (if you’re up for it ofc). maybe where they are wedding planning and then the day of the wedding and all the girls help the reader get ready (Chad helps Ethan ofc) and Quinn is super excited to have a sister in law… and maybe at the end the new wedded landrys will announce baby landry on the way 😉

Okay, this is MASSIVE. I hope you like it:) I had a lot to fit in lmao

Perfectly Perfect - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader - Part 2

Summary: After Ethan asks you to marry him, you learn that he wants to marry you as soon as possible. He also mentions how badly he wants kids soon, but it happens sooner than expected.

Part 1

Contains: Fluff, pregnancy, suggestions to sex, and if I didn't use the word 'fuck', it wouldn't be a fic I wrote :)

A/N: Jesus, I hope y'all like this. I've spent a couple days on it, and it has SO MUCH in it. Like 8 months worth of stuff in 6.7k words(I double-checked for grammatical errors, and if you catch something I didn't, I'm SO SORRY). I didn't want to leave it on a cliffhanger like I love to do. I'll be working on a couple fics tomorrow, one of them will definitely be smut:)

After Ethan proposed, you didn’t want to get back to your normal life. You couldn’t wait to start talking about wedding planning, but he wanted to wait for the weekend so he could completely focus on it and not be stressed about his work project.

On Friday night, you sat on top of his kitchen counter as he made you dinner. You offered to help, but he knew your day was stressful, so he wanted you to relax. You smiled as you watched him, thinking back to the first time he ever tried to cook for you.

He tried to make pasta with this sauce that he made from scratch. He wanted it to seem like he knew what he was doing, even though the most he’d ever made was ramen and instant mac and cheese. The gesture was sweet, but the food tasted terrible. You didn’t show it though, until he finally spoke up.

“This tastes awful…how are you eating that?” he asked as you started to laugh a little.

“You worked hard on it, babe.”

“Fuck it, let’s order Chinese,” he said, pulling out his phone. “One day, I’ll be good at cooking.”

“I can always cook for you, though,” you smiled, as he shook his head.

“One of these days, I want to be able to cook for you and our kids,” he said, placing the order and sitting his phone down on the table. Your eyes widened, because that was the first time he’d ever hinted that the two of you would have a long future together. You’d only been together for a little over a year, but you knew you wanted to be with him forever.

“Kids, huh? How many are we having?” you asked, taking a sip of your water.

“I think five is a good number,” he said, as you started to choke on the water. “Okay, maybe not five. But I know I want a family with you someday.”

“I’d like that,” you smiled, as he leaned over to kiss you, “But five is definitely a lot.”

His cooking skills improved after he discovered that salt and pepper weren’t the only seasonings someone could use. When he walked over and reached around to grab some spices out of the cabinet, you started to move your head.

“You’re fine, baby,” he said, kissing your forehead before he grabbed what he needed.

“I’m absolutely dying to talk about wedding stuff,” you said dramatically, as he went back to his place in front of the stove.

“What do you want to talk about first?” he asked, smiling as he focused on dinner.

“When do you want to get married?” he started to laugh a little at your question.

“I’d marry you right this second if we could pull a wedding together that quick.” He said, “I’m thinking October.”

“Like, eight months away October? Or next year?” you questioned, getting a little nervous.

“This year,” he said, sautéing the veggies he was cooking in the pan.

“Uh, I don’t know if we could pull that off. We’d have to find a wedding venue, a photographer, a DJ, a florist…I’d have to get a dress. Plus, October is a busy wedding month,” you sighed, “Most of the venues are probably booked up already.”

“I can pull some strings,” he said, as you curiously eyed him. “One of the guys at work has a cousin that’s about to open their own wedding venue this fall. He mentioned it when I told him I was going to propose.”

“Really?” you asked, “But there’s still so many other things to do.”

“Let’s eat first, then we can look into it.”

The food he made was delicious. He smiled proudly as you wouldn’t stop complimenting his cooking skills. It was definitely an improvement from what he tried to make for you four years ago.

“I told you, I was going to get better at cooking for you and our future kids,” he started to laugh, but then he got quiet as he started to think. “How do you feel about trying for one soon?”

His question caught you off guard, your cheeks turning pink. “Oh, um…” you were so flustered as you tried to compile your thoughts, “Yeah, I’d love that, but we need to get the wedding stuff squared away first, then we’ll talk about it.”

“Deal.”

After dinner, he sat down with you on the couch and pulled out his phone to show you the pictures of the new wedding venue that was almost finished.

“That’s beautiful!” you said, looking at the tall ceilings and the spacious outside area.

“They’re going to get the landscaping finished this week, and then they have to do a few more things to the inside. I’ll ask him if we can tour it when it’s finished,” he said, his arm draping around your shoulder as he pulled you closer. “I want our wedding day to be everything you’ve ever dreamed of, so if you hate it, we could always push it out a year.”

“I’m sure I’ll love it just by how gorgeous it already looks,” you said, snuggling into his chest, “but yeah, ask him about touring it.”

“Oh, Chad has a friend that’s a photographer, too,” he said, as you raised up a little to look at him.

“Have you been wedding planning without me?” you joked, as he playfully rolled his eyes.

“No…well maybe a little,” he sighed, “His work is really good. I’ve also been looking at flowers and stuff on my breaks at work…don’t hate me.”

Your heart started to melt as you realized exactly how excited he was to marry you. You knew he wanted to and that he loved you, but him wanting to officially start your lives together as soon as possible made you feel so special.

“What do you think for colors?” you asked, interested in what he had to say.

“I haven’t thought about that yet, I wanted you to pick them.”

“I’m thinking a really pretty deep red and maybe some orange would look really nice, especially if the leaves are going to be changing,” you smiled, as he nodded.

The two of you continued to talk about your wedding ideas, and how big you wanted it to be. You knew some people that went all out and had hundreds of people at their weddings, but you and Ethan decided to keep that number at one hundred or less. You wanted it to be intimate, but still have all the people that meant a lot to you to be there.

“What about your bridesmaids?” he questioned, as you started to think.

“Well, of course Tara would be my Maid of Honor, and Mindy and Anika, but do you think Quinn would want to be the fourth one?” you asked, as he started smiling.

“She’d love that, babe. She loves you, and she’s always asking about you whenever she calls to check in,” he said, “It makes me so happy that you’d want someone from my family to be one of your bridesmaids.”

He started to talk about Chad being his best man, and you wouldn’t expect anything less. They were so close, and Chad was the reason the two of you got together in the first place. Ethan was shy, so Chad encouraged him to finally ask you out.

As the months started to fly by, you were surprised at how quickly everything was coming together. Between you and Ethan’s busy work schedules, you still found time to tour the venue, meet with a DJ, do your engagement shoot with Chad’s friend, and get your dress. You didn’t think you’d be able to pull off everything as quick as you were, but with the help of your friends, it was easy.

“Babe,” you called out as you walked through Ethan’s front door, “Where are you?”

He didn’t say anything, but you heard the faint sound of the shower. You walked into the bathroom as he was stepping out.

“Hey, babe,” he said, drying off as you hopped up onto the bathroom counter, “How was your appointment?”

“It was good. It didn’t hurt as bad to take it out as it did to have it put in,” you said, referring to your IUD. “Don’t get any ideas, though. We’re still four months away from the wedding.”

You wanted to wait until it was a lot closer to the wedding, but your doctor was about to have her own baby and was going to take a few months off. You were eager to start a family with Ethan, but you wanted to fit into the dress that you’d spent a lot of money on.

“Fineee,” he sighed out, wrapping his towel around his hips before standing in front of you. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you said as he leaned in to kiss you. After he pulled away, you started to panic, remembering things you still had to do. “Fuck, I forgot to email the caterer!”

You tried to slide off the counter before Ethan stopped you. “I already did it, babe,” your mind was still racing, “And Tara stopped by work today to grab the invitations. She dropped them off at the post office for us.”

You sighed, relaxing a little as you smiled at him. “What else do we still have to do, then?”

“The only thing I want us to worry about tonight is spending time with each other,” he said, his hands resting on your thighs, “No wedding talk, no stressing. I just want to hang out.”

“Okay,” you said, as he stepped back so you could slide off the counter.

“I’m going to get dressed, then I’ll order food, and we can watch a movie,” he said, pecking your lips as you walked out of the bathroom.

You had a great night with Ethan. He knew how to calm you down and take your mind off things, even though the little voice inside your head kept reminding you of the few things you still had to do. When you woke up the next morning with Ethan spooning you, he was starting to stir awake himself.

“Good morning,” you giggled, as he kissed the back of your neck.

“Good morning,” he said, his curls tickling your bare shoulder, “We have stuff to do today.”

“Do we have to?” you asked, “Because I just want to stay in bed with you all day.”

You adjusted in his arms to face him, his sleepy eyes meeting your mischievous ones.

“Oh? Well, we do have a couple hours before we have to be at the bakery to decide on our cake flavors,” he said, his hands resting on your hips. “What about the possibility of getting pregnant?”

“I highly doubt that it’d happen that quick.”

A couple months later, you realized how wrong you were. Your period didn’t show up, which you assumed was because of the stress and your body getting used to no longer using birth control. After the second month of not getting one, your boobs really started to hurt.

“Uh, are you pregnant?” Tara asked, her eyes going wide as she helped you put together your wedding favors, “I know you mentioned wanting to have a baby soon.”

“I don’t think so,” you sighed, “I think it’s just the stress of the wedding has everything out of whack.”

“It can’t hurt to take a test to be sure. I know you’d feel bad if you were and you weren’t taking the vitamins you need,” she said, “Plus, it’s best to know sooner rather than later if you’re going to fit in your dress.”

“My doctor put me on the vitamins when I told her I wanted to get pregnant soon, so if I am, everything should be okay,” you sighed, getting a little anxious, “But, you’re right. I’ll take a test when Ethan gets back from tux shopping with Chad.”

“I love seeing Chad in a tux,” she gushed, “Maybe one day you’ll be helping me with my wedding…if he ever asks me.”

“It’ll happen. I thought Ethan would never ask, even with me hinting at it all the time.”

When Ethan and Chad made it back to Tara’s, she was practically pushing the two of you out the door. She knew that Chad and Ethan would probably get caught up in video games, but she knew you had more important things to do.

“Did you get your suit?” you asked from the passenger’s seat as Ethan drove.

“Yeah, I think you’ll like it,” he said, glancing over to you. “You okay?”

You sighed as you looked over to him, “Can we stop by the pharmacy on the way back to your house?”

“Yeah, are you feeling sick?” he asked, his voice showing concern.

“No, not really…but Tara thinks I’m pregnant,” you said, as Ethan almost ran a stop sign.

“Wait, what?” he asked, the both of you jolting forward as he came to a sudden stop. “We’ve been safe until a week ago.”

“If I am pregnant, it happened the morning we went to the bakery,” you said, as his hand reached over to grab yours. “I haven’t gotten my period, either.”

“Okay, um…yeah,” he stammered, trying to hide the excitement over the possibility.

“What if I am? I’ll be four months along and probably showing by then,” you sighed, “I won’t fit into my dress. I’m running out of time for alterations, too.”

“Well don’t freak out until we know for sure, okay?” he said, trying to calm you down.

After you made it back to Ethan’s, you went straight to the bathroom with the pharmacy bag in your hand.

“I’ll wait out here,” he said, leaning against the wall to give you your privacy.

He was hoping that the test would be positive, but he didn’t want you to be unhappy about it. He knew it would add even more stress if you were as far along as you thought. He started to get lost in his thoughts as he heard you squeal.

He opened the bathroom door to see your eyes watering and a huge smile on your face.

“Babe, I’m pregnant!”

“No fucking way!” he yelled, picking you up and spinning you. “Oh shit, okay. We’re going to be parents.” He sat you down on your feet and kissed you. “We can turn the spare bedroom into a nursery after the wedding!”

“Oh shit,” you said, your mind going back to the wedding, “I don’t mind being pregnant, and if I’m showing, I don’t care. But I need to figure out something for my dress.”

“Let’s make an appointment and make sure everything’s okay, then we can worry about that.”

You called your doctors office the following Monday, begging to be seen. With your normal doctor being out on maternity leave, they were able to schedule you with another doctor that same day that had a cancellation. You and Ethan both left work early to go because you didn’t know what to expect. You were happy he came with you because they realized that you were about ten weeks along and wanted to do an ultrasound to make sure the baby was measuring correctly.

“There’s not a whole lot to see right now, but the baby is measuring the way it should be,” the ultrasound technician said, as your eyes started to water. You looked over to see Ethan wiping his tears as he watched the screen. She occasionally paused so she could print out the sonograms from different angles.

When you went to walk out, she handed you a tiny little folder with the images she’d printed out. The cover of it said Baby’s First Photo’s, and when Ethan saw it, he lost it. You had to take a few minutes in the room as you tried to get him to stop crying.

“I’m sorry, I’m just so happy,” he said, as you reached up to wipe some of his tears.

“It’s okay, baby. I’m happy that you’re this happy,” you said, as he grabbed your hand.

“I love you so much. You’re going to be such an amazing mom,” he said, as he started to pull himself together.

“And you’re going to be an amazing dad. I love you too, babe.”

After the appointment, you talked to Ethan about telling Chad and Tara. Now that you knew the baby was okay, you just had to tell your best friend.

“That’s fucking awesome, dude! Congratulations,” Chad said, pulling Ethan into a hug.

“I knew it!” Tara said, wiping away the few tears that were slipping out.

“Show them the pictures!” Ethan said excitedly, as you grabbed the folder out of your purse.

“Aww, little baby Landry,” Chad said, flipping through the images.

“What do you think you’re having?” Tara asked, “Because I need a reason to go shopping.”

Chad rolled his eyes, “You always have a reason to go shopping.”

“We won’t find out until after the wedding, but I think we want to announce our pregnancy then,” you smiled, looking over to Ethan as he nodded.

“Let me know what I can do to help once you guys decide what you want to do,” Tara said, taking one last look at the pictures before she handed them back to you.

“I will.”

A month later, you stopped by Tara’s to try your dress on to see if it still fit.

“Fuck,” you said, as she tried to zip the back. It wouldn’t budge above your waist. “What am I going to do now?” you sighed, looking at her in the mirror of her bedroom.

“We can get it altered. We’re cutting it close though, and we still don’t know how big you’ll be on your wedding day,” she said, as panic started to set in for her, too. “The bridal shop is open today; I’ll call them to see if their seamstress can fix it.”

As Tara paced on the phone, you really thought you were going to have to buy a whole new dress, until she screamed “Yes! Thank you so much!”

She ended the call before walking up to you, “Okay, we have to take it in right now, but they believe they can put something into the sides of the dress that will make it a little stretchy.”

“Thank god,” you said, sliding the dress off and putting it back on the hanger.

When you arrived at the bridal store, the seamstress took new measurements and used her experience with other brides in similar situations to decide what to do.

“This won’t be ready for a few weeks, but I assure you that you’ll have it before your wedding,” she said, as you sighed in relief.

“Thank you so much!” you said, “You’ll call me when it’s ready?”

“As soon as I finish it, I’ll call you in so you can try it on,” she said, as you nodded.

You were still stressed, but you were hopeful that you’d still be able to wear the dress.

After a few weeks went by, you got the call to come look at your dress. As you tried it on, and the seamstress zipped it, it fit perfectly.

“Thank you so much!” you smiled, “I didn’t doubt you, but I know I’m a little bigger now, so I wasn’t sure if that would work.”

“You’re lucky I have experience with this,” she laughed, helping you back out of the dress.

“You can’t even tell I’m pregnant!”

The day before your wedding, Tara and Chad helped you and Ethan get everything set up in the venue. The boys were in the corner decorating the arch because they were tall enough to do so, as Tara helped you decorate the tables.

“This is so cute!” she said, looking at the burnt orange cheesecloth table runners were draped across the tables.

“It’ll look even better after the florist delivers the flowers tomorrow morning. The red and orange roses are really going to make everything pop.”

Ethan walked over to look at what you and Tara were working on. “I hate to rush you, but we have to start the rehearsal soon,” he said, “But these tables look amazing, babe.”

When he kissed the top of your head, you heard a squeal come from the main entrance.

“Hey, guys!” Quinn said, as she walked in. Ethan ran up to hug her before she came over to you. “Are you excited? Because you’re totally glowing.”

“Yeah, I am,” you smiled, glancing down at your oversized t-shirt. It’s taken everything in you to not put your hands on your belly whenever you were around anyone the didn’t already know you were pregnant.

“Thank you for asking me to be a part of your day tomorrow,” she smiled, “So we’re staying at Tara’s tonight?”

“Yeah, we’re having a slumber party,” Tara laughed, joining the conversation. “It’s bad luck for the bride to see the groom before the wedding.” You and Ethan both rolled your eyes at the superstition, “Hey, I want you two to last forever.”

“We will,” Ethan said, pulling you into a kiss.

“Gross,” you heard Mindy yell as she walked into the door. Anika was right behind her, the excitement evident on her face as she looked around the room.

“Wow, this is gorgeous,” she said, as they walked up to you.

“My people are here, where’s the rest of yours?” you asked Ethan, remembering him wanting to start the rehearsal.

“They’re on the way,” he sighed, as Chad started to yell for his help. “I’ll be right back.”

You laughed as they were struggling to get the lacy orange and red fabric to stay on the arch, along with the few fake flower decorations you got from the craft store.

“This isn’t funny,” Ethan said, trying to fight his own laughter as Chad started to get pissed.

The other two of Ethan’s groomsmen walked in and greeted you before walking over to Ethan and Chad to help.

“How many men does it take to hang some fabric and fake flowers?” Quinn questioned, watching the scene unfold in front of her.

“I don’t know, but hopefully the answer is four, because that’s all we’ve got,” you laughed, as the guys started to cheer.

“Ooh, they finally got it,” Mindy said, wrapping her arm around Anika as she giggled.

The officiant, DJ, and wedding coordinator were ready to go when Ethan walked up to you.

“You ready to fake marry me?” he asked, grabbing your hand.

“Yeah, let’s get this over with. I’m starting to get sleepy,” you sighed, as Ethan nodded. Your newest pregnancy symptom was extreme tiredness, but you’d take that over being nauseous.

“Okay, we’ll be doing this outside tomorrow, but because it’s raining, we have to do it inside tonight,” the wedding coordinator said, “I want to make this as painless as possible.”

Ethan followed the bridesmaids and groomsmen down the aisle, standing on his side as the music started for you to walk down the aisle. You took your time as you were instructed, finally making it to Ethan.

He started to laugh a little, as you rolled your eyes. “You’re laughing now, but if you don’t cry when you see me in my dress tomorrow, I’ll walk down this aisle a hundred times.”

“Sorry, this is a little awkward,” he said, grabbing your hand as the officiant started to speak.

He started to go through his spiel, skipping over the vows you and Ethan were going to recite for each other and the ‘I now pronounce you husband and wife’ part.

“Are we done yet?” you asked through a yawn, the tiredness being too much.

“Did you want to look at the slideshow tonight, or no?” the DJ asked as he pointed at the projection screen.

“No!” you and Ethan both said at the same time, knowing that the last slide was the one announcing your pregnancy.

“I think it’ll be fine to wait until tomorrow,” Ethan said, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“Okay, cool. We’re done, then,” he said, shutting his laptop.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, baby,” Ethan said, turning to you. He leaned down to kiss you when your friends walked up.

“We need to get her out of here,” Tara said, as you pulled away from the kiss. Ethan subtly rubbed his hand over your tummy, which he’d done every single night before bed since you found out you were pregnant.

“I love you,” he said, as Tara grabbed your hand to pull you away.

“I love you, too!”

When you made it back to Tara’s, you were struggling to keep your eyes open as everyone sat around and talked. You finally excused yourself to the guest bedroom, falling asleep the second your head hit the pillow.

The next morning, you woke up before everyone else. You showered and ordered coffee before you snuck into Tara’s room to grab your dress out of the closet. When the coffee arrived, you were debating on peacefully waking everyone up, but decided on yelling.

“I’m ready to get married, wake up!” Your voice echoed off the walls of the house as you heard Mindy groan in the living room. Tara soon turned the corner, grabbing her drink out of the holder.

“Thanks for the coffee,” she said, as you took a sip of yours. “Are you supposed to be drinking that?”

“It’s decaf,” you sighed, “It’s not as good but it’ll get me through the day.”

She nodded as everyone else walked into the kitchen.

“Someone’s excited,” Quinn smiled, “I can’t believe I’m getting a sister-in-law today!”

She pulled you into a hug, “I hope I got your coffee order right. I was trying to remember it from college.”

“No, this is perfect,�� she said, taking a sip.

“We have to be at the venue in two hours,” you said, looking around at everyone’s tired expressions. “Can you guys get ready soon?”

“I expected the bridezilla antics to start before now,” Mindy said, sarcasm in her tone as you glanced over to her.

“I just don’t want to be late,” you sighed, as Quinn remembered something.

“I don’t know if you’re doing the normal wedding traditions, but,” she said, running to her bag in the living room, “I’d love it if you’d wear this.” She opened a jewelry box, showing you a beautiful diamond necklace. “This belonged to Ethan and I’s grandmother.”

“Oh my god, Quinn! This is gorgeous!” You were in awe, the sweet gesture showing you how excited she was for you to be a part of her family. “I’d love to wear it.”

“I hoped you’d say that. I know it would mean a lot to Ethan.”

After everyone finally got ready, you headed to the venue. Tara ran into the main building, looking around for Ethan.

“You! Stay right there for the next five minutes,” she said as she saw him, before running back to the car.

Ethan laughed to himself at her determination to keep you from being seen by him as he helped the florist finish decorating the tables.

“Okay, we gotta move,” Tara said, grabbing stuff out of the trunk of her car as you walked through the back entrance to the bridal suite.

You hung your dress up and waited for the rest of your friends to make it inside.

“Geez, T. What is all of this?” Mindy asked, sitting one of the heavy plastic bins down on the floor.

“It’s all the stuff to get our beautiful bride ready,” she groaned out, setting down another box.

“I think the key word is beautiful, which she already is…she doesn’t need all this shit,” Mindy said, opening the tote to look inside. “Wait, what’s up with these favors?”

“Don’t look at those!” Tara said, as Mindy eyed her suspiciously.

“What’s going on?” she asked, as Anika and Quinn made it in with the rest of the stuff.

“Those are another set of favors we’re giving out after,” Tara said, looking over to you.

“What do you mean?” she asked, as you tried to discreetly change into something that wouldn’t mess up your hair and makeup after it was finished. “Wait, what the fuck?”

Mindy walked over to you as Quinn and Anika were showing off the dress styles they chose in your colors.

“Are you pregnant?” she whispered, taking in the way your lower abdomen was sticking out.

“Mindy, please don’t say anything to anyone,” you said, motioning with your eyes to your other friends, “We’re announcing it today.”

“Wait, seriously?” she asked, as you started to laugh.

“Are you going to keep asking questions?” You whispered as you smiled, “Ethan and I wanted to get pregnant. It happened quicker than I thought it would, but this was always the plan.”

“Oh, well congratulations,” she said, trying to hide her excitement.

“Why are you congratulating her?” Anika asked, as she walked up to join in the conversation.

“She’s getting married, babe, duh.”

When Tara helped you get ready, you could tell she was trying hard not to cry. She was so happy for you, and knowing how much Ethan loved you made it hard for her to keep her emotions in. You felt awkward trying to talk to her as Chad’s friend came in to snap pictures of everyone getting ready.

“Thank you for doing this for me, Tara,” you said, as she finished up your hair.

“You think I’d let just anyone glam you up for your special day?” she asked, spraying a thick cloud of hairspray over your head.

“You know there’s a lot of chemicals in that, right?” you laughed as her eyes went wide.

“I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay, I just wanted to distract you. You’ve been fighting tears since I sat down in the chair,” you said, as she started to let them slip out.

“I’m just so happy for you,” she said, as she started to put primer on your face.

“Well, just know that when Chad proposes someday, I’ll do the exact same stuff for you that you’ve done for me. I’m so thankful for our friendship.”

“I think that’s coming sooner rather than later…” she trailed off as you stared at her.

“Okay, spill. What’s going on?” you asked, as she shook her head.

“Today’s your day. We can talk about it after the honeymoon.”

“No, tell me! I don’t care what day it is,” you said, laughing.

“Well, I found a receipt for a jewelry store when I was doing Chad’s laundry the other day,” she said, as you cut her off.

“You’re doing wifey shit, but continue,” you said, as she started to blush.

“It was for a ring. So, unless he’s buying it for someone else, I’m pretty sure he wants to marry me.”

You started to squeal as she shushed you.

“Sorry, I’m just so happy for you!”

After your makeup was done, and you helped everyone else get ready, Tara was about to kick everyone out when Quinn ran up to you.

“I’m leaving, but I wanted to give you this,” she said, handing you the jewelry box with the necklace in it.

“Wait, I think you should help me put it on.”

She smiled as she took it out of the box and put it around your neck, clasping it in the back. The photographer started snapping pictures of the sweet moment. She was trying not to cry as she looked at you wearing it. “Thank you for being so good to my brother. I know he’s a little dorky, but you really brought him out of his shell. He’s never been this happy.”

You felt your own eyes start to water as you fanned your face with your hands, trying to keep the tears in. “Thank you, Quinn.”

You hugged her before she went out to join Mindy and Anika in the reception area of the venue.

“Let’s get your dress on,” Tara said, grabbing it off the hanger.

“Is it bad that I’m nervous it wont fit even though it did a week ago,” you sighed, unbuttoning your shirt and sliding your leggings down.

“It will, don’t stress,” she said, as you stepped inside the dress.

“See, still fits,” she smiled after she got it zipped.

“Are you ladies almost ready?” The wedding coordinator asked, as she walked in

“Yes,” you said, slipping your heels on. “Is he ready?”

She started to laugh at your question, “Honey, that man’s been ready for over an hour. His best man was in there…what do you kids call it…hyping him up?”

You started to laugh, “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“Well, if you’re ready, I’ll let them know that we can begin,” she said, looking you over in your dress. “You look gorgeous.”

“Gorgeous enough to make the groom cry?” you asked, as she nodded.

“He’s already cried a couple times,” she said, walking out of the room.

Tara looked at you and stuck her lip out at the fact that Ethan was so emotional.

“Aww, that’s so sweet!” she said, helping you put your veil on.

“I’m hoping these pregnancy hormones don’t get the best of me today. I don’t want to mess all your hard work up,” you said, fanning your face again.

“That’s what setting spray is for,” she said, giving your face a second coat of it. “Just in case.”

The coordinator came back in the room to grab you as you heard the music start to play.

“I know this is a little different than last night, but you’re just going to walk down the path to the arch,” she said, as Tara walked past you to join the rest of the bridesmaids.

“I love you,” she said, “Don’t be nervous.”

After everyone cleared out, you waited for your cue.

“Alright, sweetheart. This is all you,” she said, gently nudging you towards the door.

As you walked out, you noticed all the people standing, and couldn’t help but think about falling in front of all of them. The second Ethan was in your line of vision, and he covered his face as he started to cry, it gave you all the confidence you needed to make it to him.

You noticed that Tara and Quinn were trying so hard to keep it together, and Chad too. He was just so happy for his best friend. You smiled at him as Ethan pulled his hands away from his face.

“So beautiful,” he said, wiping away the tears that just kept slipping out. Chad reached over to pat him on the back as you made it to the end of the path, standing across from him.

As the officiant started to speak, your breath hitched in your throat. You were trying so hard not to cry, but you knew you were going to lose that battle once you and Ethan read your vows.

“The bride and groom have written their own vows. We’ll start with you,” he said, turning to Ethan.

“I didn’t write anything down, because I wanted to speak from the heart,” he said, laughing a little, “I love everything about you, from the way you look when you first wake up, to the way you argue with me over the remote. You’re my best friend, my soulmate. You’re everything I could’ve ever wanted and more in a partner. You were patient with me when I was shy and didn’t know how to talk to you when we first met. Now, I’m a more confident person because of the man you’ve helped me become. I’m so happy I get to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you.”

Tears were slipping out, as hard as you tried to fight it, before the officiant turned to you.

“I also didn’t write my vows down,” you giggled, “but I guess that’s what makes us so special. I’m so thankful for you. When you finally asked me to be yours, I never had a doubt in my mind that we wouldn’t last forever. You say that I boosted your confidence, but you helped mine so much. I don’t worry about what people think of me, because I know the one that truly matters is always in my corner, no matter what. I know we can make it through anything the universe throws at us, as long as I have you by my side. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m so happy that I get to be your wife. I’m so happy that you chose me. I love you, too.”

Ethan nodded as he fought off the tears again. You almost missed everything your officiant was saying, because you were so focused on him.

“If there are no objections, by the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife,” he announced, before turning to Ethan, “You gonna kiss your bride or not?”

Everyone started to laugh as Ethan leaned in, his hands going to your hips as he kissed you.

Cheers erupted from your guests as he lifted you off the ground before gently sitting you back down. That’s when he noticed the necklace.

“Babe, is this…”

“Your grandmothers,” you said, finishing his thought. He started to tear up all over again.

He looked over to Quinn and mouthed ‘thank you’ before he took your hand and walked you back up the aisle.

You were quickly whisked away by the photographer, who wanted to get some beautiful shots of you and Ethan in the wooded area on the edge of the venue. The red and orange accents in his suit and boutonniere looked beautiful against the orange and yellow leaves.

“Can I have a minute with her?” Ethan asked the photographer. He nodded, stepping back a few yards but still snapping a few photos as the two of you talked. “You look so beautiful, and your vows were beautiful.”

“Yours were too, babe,” you said, standing on your tippy toes to kiss him.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, rubbing his hand across the well-hidden bump.

“I feel great right now. Hopefully I won’t be too tired later,” you smiled, as he took your hand in his and walked towards the photographer.

“Well, Mrs. Landry, let’s go to the party,” he said, as you smiled.

“I like the sound of that…Mrs. Landry.”

“Well good, because you’re stuck with me forever.”

When you made it back inside the venue, you immediately went into your first dance. The slideshow started, and it was perfectly timed out to the music as your arms were around Ethan’s neck. It showed pictures of the two of you as kids, before moving on to the pictures the two of you had taken as a couple. As you saw the engagement photos, you knew what the next one would be as the music stopped. You and Ethan both turned towards the screen as the picture of your sonogram popped up, with the words ‘Baby Landry coming soon’.

The gasps were audible, before everyone started to clap for the two of you. That’s when the DJ invited everyone else out to the dance floor to join you and Ethan.

“Wait, you’re pregnant?! That’s why you’re glowing!” Quinn said, looking down at your stomach, “I’m going to be an aunt!”

She was squealing, so excited for you, but also, her new title. “This dress is hiding it well. I’m sixteen weeks along,” you said, rubbing your hands across your belly.

“No way! Well, I guess I’ll be moving back to New York,” she smiled, “I’m not missing all the important moments of this baby’s life.”

“What about the guy you’re seeing?” you asked, as she rolled her eyes.

“I’ll make him come with me.”

After the wedding was winding down, the tiredness fully started to kick in.

“You okay?” Chad asked, as Ethan mingled with the guests.

“Yeah, just exhausted,” you sighed, as he looked at the ground.

“When you two get back from Mexico, I kind of need your help with something,” he said, flashing a smile.

“Oh?” you asked, waiting for him to say more. He glanced over to Tara, who was laughing at something Mindy said.

“Yeah, I hope this is okay because Ethan suggested that I talk to you tonight before you leave…but I’m going to ask Tara to marry me.”

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #scream

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thatfreshi · 1 year ago

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"Quit" (Uni AU P. 17)

GUYS IT'S BEEN SO LONG BUT FRESHIAU IS BACK! Sorry for the hell of a cliffhanger I gave you, whoopsies :)

tw - mentions of abuse, hospitalization

The next half-hour is a blur unlike any you've known before. You, Gale, and Karlach pile into the art student's shitty mini-van.

"I'm sure he's okay Tav."

Karlach tries to give you an assuring hand on the shoulder, but you think back to the phone call, the way the nurse wouldn't tell you anything, how you yelled in the middle of a damn cafe. It would be embarrassing if you didn't know the stakes that were in this trip to the hospital, that Astarion isn't the type for medical assistance unless it's absolutely necessary.

Other than Karlach's comment and the occasional flick of a blinker, the car is almost entirely silent. Gale drops you off at the front before leaving to park, and your tall friend stays by your side as you enter the sterile, sad building. When you get to the desk, she speaks on your behalf.

"We got a call that Astarion Ancunín was admitted here?"

"What's your relation to the patient?"

Karlach hesitates, before pushing you forward slightly.

"Well I'm just his friend, but my pal Tav here is his spouse!"

You give her a slightly concerned look, but soften when you know she just wants you to be able to see him.

"You can come back this way Tav."

It's all so quick and without feeling. Truthfully, you know medical professionals deal with this kind of thing on the daily, but the lack of concern for him makes you a little sick to your stomach. The words of your guide fall on deaf ears when you make it to his room, rushing in before she can even finish her sentence. She closes the door behind you as you're met with Astarion, your dear Aster, who looks far more beat down than usual.

"How in the hell did you manage to get back here?"

He asks with a slight smirk, the bags under his eyes far more noticeable than before. You can't help but smile at his charm, but replace it with a bitter expression soon after.

"That's not important right now. What happened?"

The urge to yell and scream is kept at a simmer, and instead your voice is kept soft, like plush moments of reading law papers, like falling asleep with your best friend, like cheap espresso and designer fabrics.

"Severe dehydration I suppose. I passed out, and Petras called an ambulance, which I'm sure got him beat to no end. Stupid decision if you ask me."

"Oh, so you quite literally pass out, and your first reaction is to think about Petras?"

He ponders your words for a moment as you finally sit at the edge of the bed.

"Trust me... I've already had plenty of time to think about just how bad this was. Thankfully when I lost consciousness I only bruised my poor arm, but the doctor said it could've been much worse. Heat stroke, seizures-"

"Okay, let's maybe not talk about all of that."

You start to cry, finally, after a panic-induced state of adrenaline begins to wear off. You get a notification from the group chat. Gale says Lae'zel, Shadowheart, and Wyll Ubered over. You show your phone to him.

"Look, everyone showed up."

You smile softly, feeling a trail of tears hit your lip. It tastes salty.

"Of course they did. You all are far too sappy."

"Oh shut it Aster. We were worried."

"Well it's fine now, right? The issue is resolved, so everyone can go home, including you Tav."

You scoff.

"Fat chance. Besides, Karlach kind of told the nurse that I'm your spouse, so it looks weird if I leave now."

"She did what?"

"Yeah, trust me, it was weird."

He gets a little nervous, showing his age for once, that deep down he's still a 20-something-year-old kid. It stays silent for a little bit, and you listen to the monitors in the room, the almost silent IV drip, the steps of people walking up and down the halls. Your listening is interrupted by a tapping on the bed, Astarion trying to get your attention.

"Yeah?"

"I know I struggle to say it sometimes, well, most times, but I do rather appreciate that you came... that all of you came, but you in particular."

You want to be able to appreciate his words, but the fear that lingers beneath doesn't let you rest.

"I don't want to do it again. I don't know if my heart can handle doing all of this again."

"What else would you have me do darling?"

You know what you want to say, and you know what his response will be, but the words leave your mouth anyways.

"Quit. I want you to quit."

He goes to interrupt you, but you put a finger up to shush him, and he obliges.

"I know it feels impossible. I know you've signed how many documents and that you need the money, but you six incredible friends now that can help you through this. Think about it: if you blackout all your socials, stop showing up, what can he really do about it? Cazador can't get on campus. You'd be safe there, and it will look so bad for his image if you suddenly disappear that he'll be scrambling for PR anyways! I think you can do this, that we can do this."

"And what about the money?"

"Student loans? And we can all pitch in when we have extra. And you could pick up a job on campus, maybe something in the law library?"

You're trying to be inspiring, but looking at him like this makes it hard.

"Why do you keep trying so much for me? Truly, you've wasted so much breath on me, even in this moment."

Somehow those sad questions still catch you off-guard. You put a hand on his.

"I don't think I can even word it right Aster. Even if I tried, I don't think the words would make sense, that any of it would make sense to either of us. Just accept that I'm here, trying for you, okay?"

"Okay... then I'll try too. I'll try your ridiculous plan Tav."

#astarion x tav #astarion x reader #angst #comfort #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #freshiau

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smallhiro-one · 5 months ago

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hey guys

it’s been a while huh😁😁

A lot of things have happened, and I got so caught up in it that I wasn’t able to post or anything (and my procrastinating problem or something)

one main thing is summer vacation. You might think that I have more free time, but nope. I also think I just might want a break

so in a way, I’m saying this is the end of my hiro hamada daily acc

but don’t get me wrong I will still keep this account. It will be more of a big hero 6 blog though or something. Maybe once in a while a dose of hiro

But for this summer I don’t think I’ll be posting much

Im sorry I left yall on cliffhanger or something😭😭😭

but I did do something fun which was also time consuming. I went on vacation to Lake Tahoe and to San Francisco! A whole week! I took a few photos (some are bad quality my bad😞😞)

In San Francisco I went to a very cool museum

(I’m sorry but the indoor rain forest was so cool) there was also an aquarium in there too as well as an art museum etc!! I liked it. Also this tiny miny park that was beautiful

and guess what I got there too??? BOTW OFFICIAL BOOKS??!??

(It’s kinda a new obsession but don’t worry I still love big hero 6)

I don’t want to tap any longer this post is already too long and I know none of y’all are reading all this my bad😞😞😞

hope you all have a good summer though!!! never stop loving big hero 6!!(this fandom is small enough)

#bh6 #hiro hamada daily #hiro hamada #daily hiro hamada #not daily anymore #bh6 fandom #big hero 6 fandom #big hero 6 #bh6ts #bh6 the series

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skyshroom · 11 months ago

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Fantasy high Junior year master post xx will update every week

!!!FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR SPOILERS, ALL FHJY SPOILERS WILL BE TAGGED #fhjy spoilers, #fantasy high junior year spoilers, #dimension 20 spoilers!!!

1. SUMMER SCARIES

Oh we are jumping straight into action

CANON NIGHT YORB DESIGN and it’s a fishy 🥺?! I’m in love

HANGVAN MINI IM GONNA CRY I missed u so much

Moggy the doggy!! I hope Adine just accumulates a truly irresponsible amount of little guys over the season

Baby mini (blursed)

Seated minis?!????

The new hangman art 🥺 puppy

Bloke mode Kristen applebees. Breakup hit you hard so sorry baby girl

After rewatching FHSY twice in preparation for this season I feel almost overwhelmed there’s so much stuff happening the set??? The battle map?? Seated and unseated minis?! I’m going into sensory overload

I need this battle music in my everyday playlist hello?

LOU’S FIRST ROLL OF THE SEASON BEING A NAT ONE (I recognize that dice)

First Beardsley 20 of the season we are so back baby

EMILY TOO LMFAO what is going on

These bits where a brand new character shows up and everyone already knows their whole deal are so fucking funny

Two Beardsley 20s!!!

This cliffhanger is going to be the absolute death of me omg what bad cheese did fig get into over the summer 👹

2. SUMMER BREAKDOWN

I’m a fool and tried to just add my live thoughts onto this post directly and lost all of it when the app crashed so lesson learned. Notes app first from here out. Anyways here are the highlights I can think of

The Ayda armor. Wow, we are so back Figayda nation

Riz hitting Fabian with the van twice is so bffs of them

Riz and Fabian are both breaking my heart already this season they are both so lonely but in such different ways ugh Fabian’s lack of connection with his mom and his security in the friend group while riz has a loving mom but feels so insecure about his place amongst his friends… zoo wee mama!!

Adine and Zayn’s friendship really means the world to me I hope that they explore it more especially now that Aelwyn bailed and left her at mordrid alone

Loving that Sklonda left the pig patrol behind hate that they’re screwing her over but what do you expect cops to do!

Gilear’s luck streak combined with fig’s weird bad luck with having to make a dex save on the stairs only to still wind up with her boot in a bucket of cement is making me nervous in a major way. And then the little blurb about doreen’s fishnet getting torn makes me think she’s got something to do with it and maybe bc Gilear was a lunch lad he is somehow connected I don’t know. I don’t know!

Kristen baby… lesbian canon event

Ayda and Arthur adventures Ayda I am praying so hard for you

The new ayda art 🥺 baby girl

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fh #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fhjy spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers #fabian seacaster #riz gukgak #adine abernant #figeroth faeth #fig faeth #gorgug thistlespring #kristen applebees

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quinloki · 9 months ago

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80k for a single chapter is ending me.

I mean, look I am 100% in the camp of "The chapter is as long as the author decides." 10000000% - this is a hobby sport, you do what you want to do how you want to do it.

but that's beyond a marathon length - I just - that's a whole ass book.

I can't comprehend, process, function - like - I just... I cannot BREATHE in the sense that it gives me ANXIETY to think about it.

It's like reading a story without any paragraph breaks, I just don't think I could do it. In the case of a lack of paragraphs it just wears my eyes out, I'm old yo, if you don't let me sit down a minute between thoughts I will get a very real headache.

Chapters are like that but on a larger scale. I mean, there's a rule of thumb for them in a professional sense, you generally want to change your chapter when you change your scene.

If you time, location, and people don't change, then you can have a very long chapter and that would result in providing a feeling of time passing - generally very slowly, unless there's a lot of action.

And none of this is me saying you *have* to do it that way, it's just kind of a generalized rule. A chapter could be 100 words and be a chapter, could be 10,000 words too, but that's usually pushing the limits.

But chapters, and paragraphs are a lot like composition and panels in art and manga. They're generally used to guide and control the flow of your experience, making sure you're not overwhelmed (or underwhelmed) giving you places to breathe, etc.

Using chapter ends to create mini cliffhangers is also solid. An abrupt end can lend weight to concerns or anxieties or curiosities.

Sorry, I went on a bit of a tangent, I just... man, 80k as a single chapter. I gotta sit down and catch my breath just thinking about that. ^^; But if it gave the author joy, then that's the important part!

#quin muses #creative writing #fan fiction #ao3

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makeste · 2 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 340: Now Where Were We

Previously on BnHA: Deku and Iida were all “hey Mei, I know you don’t have a lot of spare time in between constantly launching yourself at people boob-first, and singlehandedly MacGuyvering U.A. into the fucking Death Star, but we were wondering if you could lend us a hand in fixing our costumes.” Mei was all, “sure thing, here’s an upgraded pair of Movie 1 Gloves for you, anyways off you go and have fun saving the world!” Mt. Lady was all, “can you kids keep a secret?? so uh, just between you and me, I’m not a real teacher, and I’m not actually sure what I’m doing here hanging out with you guys right now.” Class 1-A was all, “don’t worry, your secret is safe with us Mt. Lady, well anyways time to assemble our CLASS 1-A SEARCH SQUAD!” The chapter ended with A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE getting ready to DO and/or TALK about A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT THINGS. Classic cliffhanger ending. lol this chapter really did not hold up on a re-read. I’m so sorry BnHA 339. You meandered so that future chapters could hopefully get to the damn point already.

Today on BnHA: All Might is all “time to reveal our shocking and completely unpredictable battle plan of splitting up all the villains for more easily digestible mini-boss battles, using our newly acquired trump card, the handy dandy U.A. traitor!” Aizawa is all, “[cracks knuckles] time to drop some motherfucking love and compassion onto my traumatized student in order to talk him into doing this INSANELY DANGEROUS TASK for us, except that somehow I manage to do it in a way that’s genuinely moving and heartfelt and somehow not manipulative at all lol.” Shinsou is all, “hello, it’s me, making my miraculous return after three whole years of plot inactivity, so anyway what have I missed.” Well shit. Glad I’m not the only one, Shinsou.

---

(just a handful of quick notes here since it’s been a while! (1) as always, these are my completely blind first-time-reading reactions to the chapter. (2) as of today, I am very much NOT caught up with the manga, but will keep you posted on my progress. currently I have read up to chapter 340, a.k.a. this chapter right here lol. and (3), I have been spoiled about one major thing (explained more in depth here) which will happen later in the series, and while there are no detailed references to said spoiler in this post, there ARE a couple of vague throwaway lines because I have absolutely no self-control. so just giving you guys a heads up for that! if you absolutely don’t want to risk getting spoiled, I would highly recommend catching up with the manga first before reading any further.

anyways, onward!)

OH MY GOSH IT’S SOME BUILDINGS!!!

WHAT A THRILLING WAY TO KICK OFF MY FIRST NEW CHAPTER OF BNHA IN ELEVEN MONTHS. TRULY HIT THE GROUND RUNNING

lol they literally just thumbtacked a handwritten “LOV/PLF COUNTER-FORCE HQ” sign on a wrinkled piece of paper next to the door. how far we have fallen from the days where the heroes were holding their war councils in huge NASA ground control rooms filled with hundreds of TV screens

okay good, at least they went out and recruited Hawks to be one of the people presumably planning this whole thing

one of only two people (the other being Momo) whom I actually trust to be able to come up with a reliably smart plan. fingers crossed this turns out better than his last big Ultimate Hero Final Battle Plan, though!

interesting! I assume they do still know about the whole Aoyama situation though, seeing as they even told Mt. flippin’ Lady lol

OH MY GOSH, RAGDOLL? heck yeah. great to see her finally back in the thick of things again. even if she can’t participate in the actual battle, she’s still a fucking hero goddammit

wow this entire next page sure is something

“every pre-cat-ion” breaking news, we’ve just been informed that there is a warrant out for Caleb Cook’s arrest

MEOW

MYEAH?

NOT YOU TOO, HAWKS

EVIL MEOW

I know that last part is just her randomly tacking her cute dattebayoisms onto the end of this entirely unrelated sentence, but unfortunately the damage has already been done. now all I can think about is the League of Villains out there rampaging in the streets and meowing menacingly at people

anyway, so on to the planning and stuff

lmao wait, what

DID YOU PAINT THESE BY HAND, ALL MIGHT?? DID YOU BUY THEM LAST MINUTE ON ETSY AND PAY A FORTUNE IN EXPEDITED SHIPPING. surely it must be the latter. but can you just imagine All Might sitting at his kitchen table at 3am, hand-painting a refrigerator magnet to look like an adorable chibified version of HIS MOST HATED ENEMY

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

I’m actually on the fence about this lol. I mean, it makes sense on paper. lord knows they had enough trouble taking on just one massively overpowered final villain, so who even knows what would happen if they added a second one to the mix

but the problem with the “just take them down separately” plan is that it means they’ll also have to split up their OWN forces, which are already heavily depleted. not to mention that the BnHA heroes are always at their best when they’re all fighting together. so anyways, yeah, I’m not too sure about this

so blah blah blah, Tomura is now stronger than crusty!potato!AFO, big surprise. and they’ve also figured out that the two AFOs can communicate with each other via radio waves or whatever. okay yeah, but doesn’t that mean that even if you do split them up, they’ll still have a big advantage? unless you figured out some way of jamming their telepathy somehow

“should they attack together, we have no hope of victory” lol if you say so. I’m pretty sure all of the U.A. kids combined with all of the remaining A-list heroes could hold their ground fairly well, but clearly I’m not supposed to be questioning the authority of this statement so ALL RIGHT THEN

OKAY BUT DOESN’T THIS JUST PROVE MY POINT THOUGH

“if they’re so powerful together then why didn’t they team up against S&S?” “because they definitely would have definitely lost.” ????????

anyway so now All Might is saying that they need to separate TomurAFO and Potato AFO (PotAFO, if you will) by at least 10km. so is that the max range of their telepathy or something then? that’s so oddly specific though

“oh and we also need to split up Dabi from them as well” ah okay lol, I see where this is going. it’s finally time for the final battle, meaning we need to assign each of the main characters to their personal final villain, yeah? great. awesome. except that they only JUST got reunited all together as a class again sob. you’re really going to do this to me again now?? just like that?? goddammit

LMAO I completely forgot that Nao’s right hand man is an actual literal fucking cat

oh my god. what I wouldn’t give to have seen his reaction to all of those puns and MEOW shenanigans from a few minutes earlier. just standing there in the corner with a disapproving frown. “I’ll have you know I find this all very demeaning and culturally insensitive” sorry about that Sansa

anyway so now All Might is all “YEAH EXACTLY, WE HAVE TO DIVIDE AND CONQUER ALL OF THE VILLAINS ONE ON ONE! WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SPENT ALL THAT TIME PAINSTAKINGLY BUILDING THEM UP FOR?? IT’S THE FINAL BATTLE FOR FUCK’S SAKE, WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU HAVE US DO, MAKESTE” okay okay fine I’ll shut up now, geez

oh shit lol

somehow I momentarily forgot all about Aoyama. possibly because I haven’t seen him in eleven months!! so this is where we’re finally going to get into the nitty gritty of that “let’s use Aoyama to set a trap” plan that Aizawa shamelessly stole from Kaminari all those moons ago

All Might is all “it’s actually pretty messed up of us to be using this poor boy when he’s already basically spent his entire life being exploited and manipulated by people” and he’s not wrong though, damn

but Nao is all “very true, but to be fair this is the literal apocalypse, and he did technically make his own bed, and also our backs are REALLY against the goddamn wall here,” which is also true. still leaning more toward All Might’s side in spite of that, though. poor Yuuga

OH SHIT, SPEAKING OF???

OH DANG

do they really have to keep him tied up like that?? he’s just a kid for fuck’s sake. and it’s not like they aren’t capable of handling things if he does try to escape, I mean this is Aoyama we’re talking about here, he’s not exactly an all-powerful criminal mastermind

man they both look so fucking sad. Yuuga looks so ashamed. this is every 1-A child’s worst fear. they can go toe to toe with the scariest villains out there and not be fazed. but a disappointed dad??? have mercy, sweet jesus

“so after going back and forth on it a bunch, we finally decided that he’s probably not going to blow up.” thanks for the update, doc. meanwhile I just had a completely unrelated thought about certain spoiler related things, oh fuck. but now is not the time to start speculating about that! not when we have the world’s saddest detention session unfolding right before our eyes

Aizawa Shouta is sitting here wearing an eyepatch and a hospital gown and probably hasn’t showered in like three days, and despite all this he is STILL somehow the hottest character in BnHA and it’s not even close

okay but there are like a thousand reasons why the threat of imminent murder would be infinitely more useful than an actual murder, though. like this doesn’t really make any sense. “why would AFO bother to threaten Aoyama if he could simply blow him up if and when he betrayed him?” uh, gee, maybe because he would much prefer if Aoyama didn’t actually betray him in the first place?? what, do you think U.A. traitors are so fucking easy to come by? in this economy??

awwww

I mean, of course he is? :( man, and now I’m wondering if there’s been a single day since his enrollment at U.A. that Aoyama has not spent being constantly terrified about a whole damn slew of things. this poor fucking kid. Horikoshi please be kind to him oh my god

oh my god, yes, exactly

he’s afraid that deep down he’s a bad person. he’s afraid that AFO will kill him. but interestingly, what he’s most afraid of, is BEING afraid. he’s afraid that if the others put their trust in him again, that when push comes to shove he’ll still be too cowardly to do what’s right

talk about ironic though. because to me, that’s a sentiment that basically confirms that he does have the heart of a hero deep down. I’m telling you guys, every single time you show me a character who is flawed and afraid, but is trying so hard to overcome their fears, and trying with all their might to become better, you will reel me in hook, line, and sinker every. single. time. seriously, how could you possibly not root for this kid now

OH MY GOD YUUGA NO

holy shit. hey Horikoshi, this is me, a certified angst-lover, asking you to tone it down just a little here, goddamn. yes we get it, he is tormented by years’ worth of accumulated fears and regrets and feelings of worthlessness and he doesn’t see any way that things can possibly get better, holy shit, we get it okay??? THIS IS MY FIRST CHAPTER IN ELEVEN MONTHS! THIS SHOULD BE AN OCCASION OF TRIUMPH, SO WHY THE HELL ARE YOU OUT HERE MAKING ME CRY

HOLY SHIT

somehow I forgot just how utterly ruthless this man is capable of being for the sake of his students. this is a dude who literally expels kids on a regular basis just to put the fear of god into them. also he is seriously so goddamn hot. it’s straight up ridiculous

oh wow this whole page just came straight for my heart

Yuuga’s fear as he tries to talk himself into what he fully believes is a suicide mission. Aizawa’s blunt assessment of the heroes being no less ruthless than the villains when their backs are to the wall. but then the way he just HITS him with that “you’re still my student and I’m still your teacher” line, and how he says it with such finality. and then the face Aoyama makes in response!!

OKAY, WOW

ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS IS FAIR YOU KNOW!! YOU CAN’T JUST HIT ME WITH THIS BRUTALLY SIMPLE PANEL OF THE TWO OF THEM JUST SITTING THERE WITH ALL OF THE OTHER VISUALS STRIPPED AWAY SO THE FOCUS IS ENTIRELY JUST ON THEM, AND WITH THE WALL BETWEEN THEM ALSO SYMBOLICALLY REMOVED JUST LIKE THAT

AND YUUGA BEING SO SMALL. AND AIZAWA BEING SO STRONG AND SAFE AND STABLE AND FIRM, AND HIM HAVING SUCH UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND COMPASSION FOR HIS STUDENT DESPITE EVERYTHING. “FUCK THAT, YOU’RE GONNA HAVE A HAPPY ENDING BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID SO AND I’M YOUR SENSEI AND THAT’S FINAL.” okay yep. tears coming now. thanks a lot, Horikoshi. wow. just wow

lol I truly believe that if Horikoshi ever did truly try to kill off one of the 1-A kids, Aizawa would literally come to life and emerge from the pages and straight up murder him

welp. there you have it. absolutely no room for argument there. SENSEI SAID YOU’RE GONNA LIVE, YUUGA, SO I GUESS YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT!

fsdljkf

yep. that’s right. deal with it. dlfkj don’t mind me I’m just gonna sit here dissolving into sobs again

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WARM FOND EXPRESSION GODDAMMIT

I AM ALREADY A PILE OF MUSH, HOLY HECK!! CAN I LIVE. CAN YOU JUST LEAVE ME BE HERE ALREADY HOLY SHIT

wait what

uh. the path of “none of you problem children are allowed to die on my watch, are we fucking clear on that”? that path?? or the path of marching headfirst into very real danger because they have no other choice, because they’re one of the lynchpins in the heroes’ desperate plan? because that latter path is one that I’d prefer to have as few children walk as possible, ngl

-- OH MY GOD

“HELLO, SHINSOU HERE” UH, EXCUSE ME, MISTER, DON’T YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO ME? AFTER BEING MIA FOR LIKE A HUNDRED AND TWENTY CHAPTERS AND FOUR AND A HALF ARCS?? YOU’RE JUST GONNA HANG HERE FROM THIS FUCKING TREE ALL NONCHALANT, WITH YOUR FANCY NEW HERO COSTUME AND YOUR SPIDER-MAN POSE THAT YOU STRAIGHT UP RIPPED OFF FROM YOUR DAD?? WHILE SAID DAD SITS THERE CHUCKLING OVER HIS “NEVER FEAR, WE’RE TOTALLY PUTTING SHINSOU IN AMPLE DANGER AS WELL” REVEAL? “DON’T WORRY AOYAMA, WE’RE NOT JUST RISKING YOUR LIFE, WE’RE RISKING MULTIPLE CHILDREN’S LIVES, BUT WE’RE DOING IT ALL TOGETHER AS A FAMILY” truly the most heartwarming of sentiments lmao

well damn. that hype and anticipation is definitely starting to build now. I am so damn fearful for all of these fictional kids’ safety, especially now that I’m watching the War arc play out again in the anime and remembering just how brutal it was. but at the same time I can’t deny that I’m super excited to see the culmination of everything. like, this is IT, though. this is THE moment, THE battle. no more safety arcs. no more training. we are done holding back, and that is as terrifying as it is exhilarating. I am so not ready for any of this, but IT IS HAPPENING WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT, so I guess I’ll just do my best to enjoy the ride

-- oh and lastly, I almost forgot. before we wrap up, there’s just one last thing I wanted to add here...

so it begins.

#bnha 340 #aoyama yuuga #aizawa shouta #shinsou hitoshi #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #pleasantly surprised to see that tumblr's image limit is still generous enough to allow me to do my thing here #'preciate it tumblr

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