#sorry mommy sorry mommy to your own OC over and over again

[myladysapphire]

My Lady Strong (VIII)

Aemond had always been protective of his neice, obssessed even, insiting on keeping her sheltered, and purley his, he never let her stray far and following the incident at Driftmark, Aemma was rarley without Aemond as her shadow. How will the kind, sheltered girl fair in the dance of dragons?

word count: 3,115

CW: MDI 18+, SMUT, p in v, loss of virginity, oral (f and m receving), fingering, possesivness, corruption kink, praise kink (use of good girl) toxic relationship, manipulation, mommy issues, co-dependancy issues, not proofread!

Fem!oc x dark!Aemond Targeryen

Masterlist | series masterlist | previous part | next part

disclamer:  i do not own any of claim any of the A song of ice and  fire characters, all rights belong to GRR MARTIN, all characters are his except for my Original characters

a/n sorry it took so long to update...but heres the wedding night!, next chapter will be a time skip!

(go to the divider by @zaldritzosrose, to skip the smut)

The feast passed over in the blink of an eye and before she knew it her and Aemond stood in his, or now their shared chambers.

Her belongings had been moved over during the ceremony, though they all seemed slightly out of place amongst his things.

Before, in the rare times she was in Aemond’s room, everything was always neat, nothing out of its designated spot, though his rooms lacked anything too personal, with no tapestries or rugs, nothing to permanent too show they were his.

Though it was no surprised that he seemed to have been own personal library in his rooms, with a whole wall dedicated to his collection.

Now the rooms seemed warmer, with his bookcase draped in her tapestries, the floor covered in her rugs. And his bed filled with her mountains for pillows and blankets. His room was bigger than hers, and it allowed everything, even her seemingly endless wardrobe to fit in effortlessly.  Though apart of it still felt strange. Perhaps it was how the furniture was so different from hers. Where her bed was carved with sea horses and dragons, his was bare, bar the one carving at the centre of his bed, a dragon, Vaghar.

Her vanity had been brought in, all her belongings placed perfectly, her new chemise placed carefully on the bed.

Her maid, Jeyne, had accompanied her. Taking of her dress and her jewels.

She already missed her gown, hating that she only got to where it for a few hours and would never be worn again.

“Would you like to keep it?” Jeyne asked softly, as she brushed through Aemma’s hair.

“yes” she nodded, it was such a beautiful dress, weeks and weeks had gone into the design alone. With its ivory coloured, laced with gold designs of dragons. The way the were sewn in away that they almost looked as if they were dancing, some beaded with emeralds, some with sapphires and the others beaded with black opal gems. “its too beautiful to be discarded off, may haps we could have the dress made into another gown.”

Jeyne smiled softly, “of course, princess”.

The door opened then, and Aemond entered.

Jeyne stepped back, curtsying before leaving the room.

They were alone, truly alone. It was different than all the times before, this time she stood before him, in a sheer chemise, that left almost nothing to the imagination.

“Aemond” she whispered as he stepped into the room.

He wore a rich red robe, where he had changed you did not know, but the sight of his bare chest peaking out from his robe, caused all thoughts to cease.

“Aemma,” he moved towards you, smiling, his eyes filled with something akin to a predator watching its prey. “you look stunning” he hummed, his hands coming up to play with the straps of your chemise.

You gave him a shy smile, “i-I so are you?” she said, nervously.

He hummed again, moving her strap to fall of her shoulders, “are you nervous?”                                

“yes”

He hummed, his hand reaching up to grab her breast, she gasped. “good” he whispered, “it will hurt, but only the first time, and then…then my sweet Aemma you will feel nothing but pleasure” he vowed, moving up to take her lips in his.

She moaned into his mouth, her feet stumbling backward until she landed on the bed. She gasped softly as she did. He leaned over her once they had reached the bed, his hand gasping her chin as he pulled her into another kiss, before pulling back and standing between her legs.

He kissed his thumb as he moved back to look at her, taking in her form. Her hair messed slightly, her chemise had fallen slightly, only one move away before falling off and revelling her breasts to him.

“off” he said, motioning her to stand up, nervously she did, her hands going to pull her chemises up, “no,” he said, stopping her, “I shall see all of you”

She looked down at the floor nervously, before reaching once again towards her straps.

As she pulled her chemise down, Aemond let out a loan groan.

“gods, you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen” he said, causing her to blush.

“I want to see you to.”

Aemond smirked, reaching to pull of his robe, he bared himself to her. His full form, the muscles on his chest, his half erect cock.

She blushed even more taking him in. “I think you are most handsome, Aemond” causing him to smile, a true smile. “but I want to see all of you” she insisted, moving her hand towards his face. He grabbed her hand as she reached for his eye patch. “please” she asked.

He hesitated, “why?” he almost sneered, “tis your brothers fault I lost it”

“but its not mine.” She sighed, “please Aemond, I wish to see my husband, all of him”

He sighed, before letting go of her wrist allowing her to remove his eyepatch.

He had expected her gasp in fear, retreat away from him. Instead, though she gasped, it was more in awe than anything else.

“is that a sapphire?” she asked coming to caress his scar. He nodded. “its beautiful” she sighed, before placing a soft kiss below it.

She smiled softly, as she took a step back, “have you…?” she asked, shyly, she did not know much of what was to come, bar what her septa had told her, and though she grew jealous of the idea of Aemond lying with another woman, a apart of her hoped he had, hoped he could guide her and teach her. All she wanted was to please him, make him happy, and how could she if she didn’t have him to show her how?

He nodded, smirking slightly, “of course, wife” he nodded, moving to grasp her chin, “but worry not non of them shall ever compare to you” he said as he kissed her once more. He held her face to him, gripping the back of her neck, his tongue teasing entrance into her mouth before finally pushing his tongue into her mouth. And ever submissive, Aemma allowed him to dominate her mouth. She moaned softly into his mouth, as she once again laid back on the bed, his body effortless slotting over hers.

His mouth slowly left hers, moving to kiss the nape of her neck before slowly dropping to his knees.

He sent her a smirk, as he buried himself between her thighs.

He licked her folds teasingly at first, savouring the taste of her.

She was growing wetter and wetter with each motion of his tongue, moaning softly as he started to focus his ministration on her clit.

He gripped her hips as he gave fast and quick licks to her clit, his eyes meeting hers as she gripped the bedding in pleasure.

“Husband” she moaned, and it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, for so long he had worshiped the sound of his name on her lips, but hearing her call him her husband? The possessive in him became tenfold. She was his, in the eyes of the gods and the realm, she was his and he was hers and nothing could change that. And gods did he love it, love her.

His tongue moved faster, realising in her moans. His arm still griped her wait, stopping her from moving his hips, though his second arm left her waist, moving his fingers to tease her whole.

She was tight, completely untouched. She gasped as he entered her, her walls clenching his fingers as they entered her.

Groaning as he imagined how they would soon feel wrapped around his cock.

Pumping his fingers in and out of her at a leisurely pace, as he sucked at her clit.

“Aemond” she moaned this time, reaching her hand to grip his hair.

He groaned as she did, before reaching out to grip her hand alongside her waist.

His fingers clenched around him, her peak approaching.

Her moans came more present, getting louder and louder before she let out a high-pitched moan, her whole body reacting as she came.

Aemond moved back slowly, taking in her messy hair and bliss ridden face.

She was out of breath, collapsing fully on the bed.

“wife” he groaned, his body moving over hers.

She smiled softly as she looked up at him.

“is that what it always feels like?” she asked, breathless.

He smirked, “It can”

“I want to do the same to you?”

He looked unsure at her request, though he had imagined fucking her face countless times, he craved to feel her hot cunt wrapped around his cock.

But as she moved up to kiss him, her hand slowly reaching down to grab his cock. He groaned as she nervously touched his cock, her face determined to please him.

“Aemma.” He groaned, as his face buried himself into the nape of her neck.

He shoved himself off her, her hands slowly falling from his cock to her thighs as he moved.

“up” he demanded, as she nervously stood from the bed. ”kneel”. She did so hesitantly, looking up at him with nervous doe eyes.

The sight alone was enough for him to cum.

his hand gripped her jaw as she looked up at him, his thumb pushing into her mouth slowly. “suck” he demanded, as her reached to tuck her hair behind her ear.

She complied without complaint, gently sucking on his thumb as he pushed it into her mouth. He groaned as she did, moving his thumb out of his mouth.

“kiss it” he said, pushing his hips so his cock moved closer to her face.

She looked up at him unsure as she kissed his tip. Her lips were soft an gentle as they kissed the tip of his cock.

“again” he groaned, as she kissed it again, her hands laid pliantly on her knees , her hair now gripped between his hands as he made a makeshift bun as he held her head to his cock as she started to pepper kisses across his cock.

“fuck, Aemma” he moaned, “open” he said, and as she did, he slowly pushed his cock between her lips.

her mouth case warm, the feeling of her mouth felt almost as delightful as he imagined the walls of her cunt would feel like wrapped around his cock.

her hands slowly moved up from where they say on your knees. One hand gripped his waist, in an attempt to stabilise herself as Aemond moved her head to bob up and down his cock. the other went to reach for the base of his cock, he barley fit in her mouth, and as she gagged around his cock, causing him to groan and the eyes rolling back.

“fuck” he groaned again, “use your hand to grab what cannot fit” he moaned, moving your head faster, “move it up an- yes like that, good girl” he moaned as she started to motion her hand up and down on the part of her cock she couldn’t fit into her mouth.

He moved his hand to grip the back of her neck, his hips now thrusting forward as he slowly started to fuck her face. Though he didn’t for long as before he knew it he could feel his own peak approaching.

He tore himself from her mouth, causing her to groan at the loss of him in her mouth.

She looked up at him, bewildered, before reaching forward in an attempt to take him back in her mouth.

“no, Aemma” he laughed, pulling her body up from the floor. “on the bed.” He said, as he himself moved to lay back, patting the space beside him.

She crawled across the bed to him, stopping in front of him. His legs were spread, and she crawled into his lap, softly kissing his lips.

She could taste herself on his tongue and she was sure he could taste himself on her own tongue.

She could feel his cock between her thighs, edging closer to her cunt.

“lay back” he said against her lips.

Laying down on the bed, Aemond once again crawled on top of her. His hand moved down to her cunt, his finger gathering up her wetness as he once again teased her entrance, he pushed two fingers into her slowly, stretching her more so that he had before, preparing her for his cock.

She moaned as he did so, the stretch delightful as he pumped her full, but she still craved more, she craved his cock.

“please” she begged.

“please what?” he hummed, pumping her slowly.

“I want you” she moaned.

“you have me.” “no…I want your…your cock” she whispered the last word, feeling dirty from saying it .

“my cock?” he teased, as he removed his fingers from her.

“Yes!” she groaned, moving to grab him, “please”

He hummed, smiling softly as he positioned himself between her thighs.

He kissed her softly as he slowly pushed into her.

Her face scrunched discomfort as he stretch her and broke her maidenhead. He pushed into her slowly, allowing her to adjust to his length.

He moaned as he fully entered her, her tight walls encasing his cock in such a delightful way.

“gods, Aemma” he moaned, as he buried his head into the nape of her neck.

“move, please” she begged after a moment, her hands moving to grip his arms, as he slowly started to thrust his hips into her. He started of slowly, allowing her time to adjust, but as she started to roll her hips into his. He began to pick up his face, slowly setting a fast rhyme. His hand moving from her sides to grip the head board as he started to pound into her.

Her moans grew louder and more high pitched, her legs moving to wrap around his waist.

“keep your eyes on me” he groaned as she closed her eyes in pleasure, her legs fell from his hips, her eyes fully fixed on his as she started to reach her peak.

The eye contact was like nothing she had experienced before. His eyes were dark, possessive, and yet also filled with love. The pure amount of emotions in her eyes pushed her to competition, as she let out a high pitched squeal, her arms gripping his pack, living small scratches as she came.

Her cunt wrapped tightly around his cock, causing Aemond o let outa moan of his own as he worked her through her orgasm, before finally letting go himself, filling her with his cum.

They got little sleep that night, with scarce few minutes before being awoke once more to heated touches, her cunt stretches with his cock in more ways than she could count. She have never felt anything like it, the pleasure beyond imaginable.

As she awoke now she traced the lines of Aemond’s face gently, taking in his beauty. He was truly spectacular, all sharp lines and edges, his silver hair and purple eye.  She envied his beauty, how Valyrian he looked and how little she did.

She hoped there children would inherit his beauty and not hers. She adored the idea of carry a little Aemond.

She smiled softly as she played with his hair, only stopping when a knock was sounded on her door.

Grabbing her robe, and quickly brushing her hair she opened the door, only to face her mother.

She smiled softly as she greeted her, “mother” she said, motioning her to step inside, her mother grimacing slightly as she took in Aemond’s sleeping from. “what can I do for you?”

Her mother sighed, looking down in shame “ we are leaving…now”

“what?”

“I- we cannot be here much longer, the- we are unwelcome so we have decided it best to leave.”

“but I just got married, I thought you would stay at least a few more days”

“I know…im sorry”

Aemma scoffed, “sorry? You do not write me, show up for a few days and then leave again! You are not sorry! You just don’t want me! I doubt you ever did!” she cried in aguish.

“no.. no Aemma, dōna riña, that’s not true.” She moved towards, her reaching for her hands only to be met with Aemma’s rejection, nyke bardutan ao naenie letters, kīvin zijo.  nyke dōrī jiōraton aōhon se nyke pendagon bona se greens- alicent se aemond hid zirȳ hen ao naejot gūrogon ao hen nyke” her mother spoke, chaing to high valyrian as if to keep what she ahd to say a secret.

i wrote you many letters, i swear it. i never got yours and i think that the greens- Alicent and Aemond hid them from you to take you from me.

“daor daor, nyke ȳdra daor belive ao!”

No no, I don’t believe you!

“iksan telling se truth, ñuha jorrāelagon, emā issare torn hen nyke se kostan daor bare naejot ūndegon ziry.  eman issare vēttan ezīmagon iā issaros se kicked hen ñuha own lenton, istin henujagon”

i am telling the truth, my love, you have been torn from me and i can not bare to see it. i have been made into a stranger and kicked from my own home, i must leave.

Aemma scoffed, “nyke- nyke, aōha verdagon bē excuses muña! Aemond vestās ao would, skoro syt shouold nyke believe ao? especially skori īlē sīr adere naejot jikagon nyke qrīdrughagon?”

i-i, your making up excuses mother! Aemond said you would, why shouold i belive you? especially when you were so quick to send me away?

Her mother let out an irritated sound, “have I lost you complete, Aemma?” she asked sadly “I have been so blind, I should have come with you, should have stayed here-“ “then stay!”

“I can’t”

“I don’t understand! What have I done?” she asked, she was confused she didn’t know what she had done, why her own mother couldn’t stay, why she had left her.

“i- you have done nothing” her mother insisted.

“so you are leaving just because you do not like me? Or is it because of Aemond? You were always against our friendship, and yet you were the one who proposed we wed! you are so-“

She was cut off by Aemond, their shouting waking him from sleep, “get out!” he demanded, “all you do is upset my wife, I shall not have it!”

And her mother left, with no complaint only sad eyes and the word goodbye. The way she said it made her feel as if her mother felt like she had lost her forever, as if this was there final goodbye.

Next part

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[deathmetalangel]

HARDLY SEEMS FAIR

robby keene x fem! reader

warnings: "casual" relationship", swearing, arguments, crying, heavily ldr coded, implied hookups, slut shaming, cheating, angsty

“in what world is that fair robby?"

oke so this is kinda a retconnned chapter from my wattpad book that i'm just extending and making more ambigious instead of clearly x oc. i hope y'all like it tho. i am sorry i have been gone for so long :(

Y/n plays with the ends of Robby's hair. He was laying with his head in her lap while they just relaxed in her room. It was calm, domestic. A small and very rare moment for just the two of them. No outside force would intrude and break their safe haven. There was no what if's that lingered in the air. Nor past resentments that hung over them like an ominous cloud determined to damper their moods. 

It was just Y/n and Robby. And that's all they'll ever be. No labels. She figured that much after the last time she'd brought it up. But she's become so full of him she can't even bring herself to care. She'd rather have what they have now, whatever it may be with him. Rather than risking losing him, and the routine she's started to build around him. 

She hums softly. Her mind far off. "Y/n?" She hymns in acknowledgement without turning her head. "Something happened this weekend."

He was lying. This had been going on for weeks. He had been having doubts for weeks. He'd been seeing her for weeks. "What happened? Another karate fight?" She wasn't the girl who got heartbroken. She was never the second choice. She got what she wanted. And she wanted him, however she could have him.

"I kissed Sam Larusso."

Y/n freezes. Her body betraying her as she tenses up. She has no right, she knows that. They were 'casual'. Just her and Robby. Non-commital.

"I mean big deal right? We were drunk anyways. Just felt bad not telling you. I know were not dating so it's really not your business, but don't worry about it. I mean we've fucked so often what does a kiss even mean?"

A kiss. To her it meant everything. An act of intimacy that they rarley ever shared. So innocent, so pure.

"Get out of my room Robby." Y/n mumbles, her voice above a whisper. The teen sits up from her lap and looks at her incredalously. He was only telling her to keep her in the loop. She didnt have the right to be mad. So why was she making a big deal about this?

"What?"

"You heard me. Get the fuck out of my room Keene."

He furrows his brows in a toxic coctail of anger and confusion. "Why? You can't get pissed at me for this Y/n. We aren't fucking dating. Don't get all aggro on me like you're some psycho girlfriend when you're a friend with benefits at best."

Y/n stands up and pushes the boy out of her room. "Get the fuck out of here Robby! If it didn't mean anything why don't you go fuck her then? Go whine about your mommy issues and daddy issues to her and leave me the hell alone."

"You have some nerve you know that right? Don't act all high and mighty now. You're a whore. Why the hell would I ever actually take you seriously when I can get everything I want without the label or work. You're easy, I could never do that shit with Sam."

Her breath was stuck in her throat as the boy she truly thought cared began to berate her as if she was a random person on the street. The boy she suffered for. The boy that was really never her's to keep. Y/n forces herself to wipe her anrgy tears and push Robby once again.

Y/n's hands were shaky, she desprately wanted to cry. To scream. To give in and give him the satisfaction of getting to her. "Oh so you can come over whenever you want, make me listen to your shitty life, and basically force yourself into my own life, but all that means nothing right? Well guess what Kenne. You kissed her, and she still doesn't want you!" She presses her finger into his chest while her voice level rises. "That same girl is still with Miguel. So just because you wanna jump ship and 'upgrade' doesn't mean she wants anything to do with you. Face it babe, you're just white trash."

"Shut the fuck up Y/n." Robby practically spits back.

"Oh, so you can disrespect me and belittle me in my own fucking room, but when its you its a problem? Grow up Robby. You're a man baby and a hypocrite. In what world is that fair Robby? Maybe in your little made up fantasy where Sam picks you and you leave me for dead. So go stay there. Cause you're sure as hell not welcome here."

Y/n throws everything he's given her at him. Every last peice a memory they shared together. Posters, drawings, braclets, anything that adorned her room. All of it thrown to him and crashing down like victims of a violent storm. Tears streamed down her face as he backed up to her door.

She opens the door for him and grabs his sweater and keys before shoving it in his chest. The boy watches her dumbfounded.

"Stay away from me Robby. Go back to some other slut that can put up with your baggage and shitty attitude for one night stand status. Because I'm done."

He looks at her, but there wasn't the girl he knew looking back at him. Not with how she glared, not with how she stood, and not with how she felt. Her eyes, the e/c irises reflected love, now they were dark. Harbors for her contempt. The grimace on her face was unforgettable. Especially as the last thing he seen before she slammed her door on his face.

Robby swallows the spit in his mouth, a hard lump of guilt not wanting to go down. He didn't think any of this would happen. He wanted her to care, but he didn't want to fight. His temper, his father's god forsaken temper, and his own damned ego.

He wanted what he had with her, with Sam. The girl next door with a rich family and big house. Like something out of a book. Not the girl that did whatever he said for the sake of making him happy. He really did want to just abandon her, didn't he? After everything.

Choking back his frustrations the boy marches down her stairs and lets himself out. He liked what he had with her, but he wouldn't fight for her. Guys only did that for the girl they want.

[linniewrites]

We all have our issues | Chapter 2

idol!jungkook x chubby!student!reader

Summary : you ask Jungkook to go grocery shopping with you, but the day doesn’t end as nicely as it started.

Words : 1684

Warnings : mommy and daddy issues, scolding, “fighting” in public, body shaming, crying, jealousy.

Notes : kook’s jealous, oc’s nervous, and sad, she gets bad memories and does something pretty bad, there’s some mean ladies in the store, and Jk is still just as whipped for her.

“No, I’m sorry… you know I love Bam. But, she’s my cat, Kook. You can’t blame me for loving her more.” You argued over the phone, he wanted you to admit you liked his dog more than you did your own pet, Meimei.

“Yeah, I get that. But does she run to you when you come home ?” He asks in the most condescending tone. “I don’t think so…”

“Bam shits on your floor, so I really don’t know what point you’re trying to make.” He let out a surprised scoff and laughs at your reasoning. You twist open your lipgloss and apply a good layer of it before taking your phone into your hand and taking it off speaker. “I need some groceries, d’you want to come with ?”

“Sure.” You heard shuffling around and keys jingling. “Want me to pick you up ?”

“No, don’t bother, I’m just gonna take the bus.” You put your sandals back on and head out to the bus stop. Today had been a pretty short day, you only had classes in the morning and had been free since one pm. The weather was also really great, hence why you wore the long flowery summer dress that your friends always complimented you on.

“I’ll meet you there then, be careful baby.”

“You too, bye.” You hang up and shove the phone in your purse.

⭒

“Ooh, I’ll go get candies !” You giddily slap Jungkook’s arm as you point towards the snacks aisle. You each had gotten a small basket, because he had realized groceries were well overdue at his house.

“Get me some of those peach rings, yeah ?”

You nod and hurry to the where the sweets were stocked, softly humming to the tune that was playing around the store. When you reach the range of choices, you scan it quickly and finally find the one you were originally here for. Cherry, as well as coke for you and peach for your friend. Once your goods had been placed in your basket, you decided to go in search of new sweets to try.

"Look at kids nowadays, always trying so hard to set a bad example." An older woman mutters to her friend, pointing at you, in what she thought was a discreet way. You frown, confused as to what she meant, and finally notice that her gaze was set on your body, and on the candies you're holding in your hands in addition to those in your basket. Your shoulders noticeably fall, and you drop the candies back where you had found them. The two women are gone by now, but you’re still in front of the bright colored packagings, debating whether you should buy them, or restrain yourself. Exactly how were you actually setting a bad example ? By eating food you liked, or maybe it was because they didn’t allow their kids to have any type of “unhealthy” food. You’re shaken out of your thoughts by a warm hand on your shoulder, and you turn around to see Jungkook looking at you with a confused frown.

“Are you okay ?” He asks chuckling a little.

“Yeah.” You hold up the basket with the candies and point to his peach rings. “I got the candies.”

“Did you want to try these, too ?” He takes the flower shaped treats you were staring so intently at and throws them in his basket.

“No.” You quickly shake your head and reach to put them back on the shelf. “I was just thinking about something.”

“It’s fine.” He stops your hand from grabbing the plastic bag and laughs. “Baby, just leave it. If we don’t like at least we’ll know not to buy it again. Also, you love all candies, so I don’t think we should worry about that ?”

“Whatever, but you’re gonna eat them all alone, then.” You pout and turn back to continue shopping to stop him from asking more questions.

You both quickly take what you need and immediately head to the registers, where you’re greeted by a kind looking man.

“Hello.” He greets you with a smile, which obviously makes one appear on your face, kind people make you happy, what can you say ?

“Hello. How’re you ?” You ask as Jungkook’s stare wavers between the two of you.

“Very good, thank you.” He asks you how your day is going, and from then on starts a conversation between you two, further excluding your friend. Jungkook is snapped out of his trance by the sound of your credit card going through.

You and the cashier continue your conversation as he mindlessly scans Jungkook’s articles and with his eyes still in you, asks him for his payment of choice. Your friend remains silent and pulls out his black card, quickly paying and grabbing his bags to get away as quick as possible.

Just as you’re about to bid goodbye to your new friend, Jungkook wraps an arm around you and lead you out. He takes your groceries and puts them in his car, muttering something about him driving you home. Which he does, and after the long ride back to your apartment, he stops you at your door to ask you something.

“Baby, you wanna go out for dinner tomorrow night ?” His hands hold onto yours tightly, and he’s looking at you with his big, starry eyes, and yet, that doesn’t stop you from getting lost in your own mind.

“And a salad for the lady.” The kind woman sets your plate down in front of you with a warm smile. You ogle at the five different types of Syrian salad set on the plate and take your cutlery in your hands with a happy dance. Your younger brother snickers at your attitude but you pay him no mind, and start eating your meal.

“Ooh, that looks good.” Chuckles your dad, cutting a piece of bread and scooping some olives and hummus, groaning at the flavor. You bring the pate closer to the middle of the table, so that everyone can have some of it, and take some rice from the larger plate next to it.

A few minutes later, you go back for more salad, and gasp when you find the plate empty. “What ? You ate all the salad ?” You ask your father with a teasing smile, although it did bother you a little, you could still order another plate.

“You’re so mean, seriously. Why can’t you, for once, be nice and I don’t know, try to be a part of the family ?” Your mother rolls her eyes and wipes the edge of the plate with a piece of bread to taste the dish. “I don’t know where I messed up with you. Such a selfish brat…” She mutters, but makes sure she says it loud enough so you can hear it.

Everyone at the table is now staring at you, silently chewing their food. You set down your fork and put your hands on your lap, sending a smile her way before fixing your eyes on your hands for the rest of the evening. Throughout the whole dinner, you could feel your siblings stealing glances at you, and even people from other tables were now staring, wondering why everything was so quiet now. Once it’s time to pay, you stand up, but your parents push you away and pay before you can get a word in. “Swear to you, this kid is unable to get out of her house without causing a scene.” She sighs, letting her head rest against your dad’s shoulder.

Your body deflates even more after hearing her, and you were convinced you now looked even sadder than the deflated balloon men in front of the car sales shop two blocks from your house. You didn’t wait for anyone and simply left to get in your car, and go back to your apartment to cuddle with your cat.

“___ ?” He calls, bringing your attention back to him.

“Yeah ?”

“Dinner, tomorrow night, just you and me ?” He repeats with a hopeful look in his eyes. After seeing you laugh with the cashier, he wanted to make sure to shoot his shot so he’d get you all to himself. Not in the bizarre way, of course, if you rejected him, he’d accept it and try to move on, but you wouldn’t, he kept repeating to himself.

“Oh.” You stop yourself from truthfully answering and blink away the small teardrops that has found their way in your eyes. “I don’t think I’m the greatest person to go out with, Kook.” You chuckle awkwardly and wrap your arms around him in a hug that feels more suffocating than comforting. “I’ll see you another time, though.” You gently kiss his cheek and get inside your apartment building before he can say anything else.

You hurry back inside your home and quickly take off all your clothes to hop in the shower and wash away all the bad thoughts you were getting. When you step out of the room, Mei is here, meowing for you to cuddle her, and you do, but soon the tears can’t be stopped. So you just lay on your couch, you cat licking your hand in hopes of making you feel better, and tears staining your fluffy pink pillows.

Jungkook stands there dumbfounded, his eyes staring at the door with shock written all over his face. The shock doesn’t last long before it gets overwhelmed by sadness and disappointment. Still, he finds himself smiling like an idiot at your reaction. Even while rejecting him, you still gave him a hug and kissed his cheek, he brushes his fingers over the emplacement of your kiss, and blushes. It’s fine if you only want to be friends, Jungkook can accept that, as long as he has you in his life, nothing else matters.

taglist :

@gothvkth @beigerin @babycandy111 @jjanjankook @joonsboy

[ash-whimsicalfanfic]

You Betrayed Me

Tom Riddle II X Fem OC/Reader

Word Count: 1832

Warnings: Mild Language, Violence, Death, Angst, Sad, Heartbreaking/Happy ending, Baby, etc.

Prompt: After graduating from Hogwarts, Tom begins to go down a dark and angry path. His love for you is questionable, however your main focus is your shared son, Mattheo...

“How is our future dark lord?” Tom asks, stepping into Mattheo’s nursery.

Things have been rocky between the two of us since we graduated from Hogwarts. He was unhappy with his current job and now was on an angry, dark path. I was fine with letting him do his own thing, however I draw the line when it comes to my son.

“Stop calling him that, Tom. He is a baby and even when he is older, he won’t be apart of this.” I say seriously as I continue to rock Mattheo.

“He is my heir, Y/N. He will be a dark lord.” He says seriously.

“What has happened to you? You use to be the man I loved, but now your just a shell of the man I once knew.” I say in disbelief.

“I’m the same man you married.Your just being overdramatic.” He says, rolling his eyes.

“Just go.” I snap.

“Do not talk to me that way.” He yells, pulling his wand out and pointing at me.

Mattheo instantly starts to wail, however I couldn’t take my eyes away from Tom. His eyes that once shone with love and adoration for me, now held hate and a coldness to them. 

“You would actually kill me.” I say, still in shock.

“I am the dark lord! I will not tolerate your disrespect! You are with me or you are against me!” He shouts.

I look down at the son we share who was screaming louder. I gently shush him, rocking him slightly. This boy needed me. Tom wouldn’t give him the love and care he needed in this world. Tom would do what was necessary to keep him alive while forcing him to do whatever he pleases. 

“I will stand by you, but I do not want to be your wife no more.” I say, turning to place Mattheo in his crib.

He was calm now, looking around curiously. He didn’t look as happy as he did before Tom came into the room. I frown, gently caressing his cheek before I lift him enough to place a kiss on his head.

“Look at me.” Tom seethes.

“I love you, Mattheo. So much. Mommy is always going to be here for you, sweet boy. Get some sleep.” I murmur, gently caressing his cheek before I turn to Tom.

“You have betrayed me. Even my own wife can’t stand by me.” He says, tears welling in his eyes as he grips his wand tighter.

My own eyes water as I know what is going to happen before it happens. I didn’t even have a way to defend myself. My wand was put away in my room. 

“Tom, you don’t have to do this. Mattheo needs his mother. Please.” I plead.

“Avada Kedavra!” He shouts.

It all happened so fast, the green light filling the room. I stood and looked down at the floor where my body lied before looking at Tom. He was staring down at my body before collapsing to the floor as he sobs. He crawls towards my body, cupping my cheek.

“Wake up…wake up, Y/N! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I lost my temper! I’m sorry!” He cries. 

Mattheo starts to wail and I look over to see him standing in his crib, grasping the bars as he stared at me…not my body, me.

“Oh sweet boy. It’s okay. Mommy will always be here, watching and protecting you. Don’t you ever forget that mommy loves you.” I murmur as I step forward and stroke his cheek.

He quiets, looking up at me as he giggles and reaches up.

“Mattheo, what are you doing?” Tom mutters, standing at the end of the crib.

“Mama!” Mattheo cries again as he reaches up.

Tom looks at where I’m standing now, looking confused and lost before looking at Mattheo who was still looking up at me. I push a curl out of his eyes, smiling softly at him.

“Y/N…” Tom mumbles. 

“Mattheo! Choose a side! Just know your mother died choosing the wrong side!” Tom shouts. 

I frown, watching Mattheo. Choose his side. Choose it. 

“Mattheo! Please!” Narcissa pleads.

I smile sadly, she has protected him and raised him. I knew I could always rely on her.

“Issa…” Mattheo pleads.

“Your mother would want you to live.” She says.

“Choose a side son!” He shouts.

“I choose mom’s side!” He shouts back.

My eyes widen before I lunge forward in front of him as the spell casts. Everyone around us gasps including Tom and I knew they could see me. I looked at my hand to see it was translucent. It was like how ghosts in the stories were described.

“Mom.” Mattheo whispers. 

I turned around and saw that he was looking at me in surprise.

“My sweet boy.” I whisper, reaching out to caress his cheek.

He leans into my touch, a tear falling down his cheek. I smile softly at him.

“I miss you so much.” He says.

“I’m always with you, sweet boy. And I will always love you and care for you. I can’t tell you how proud I am of you.” I murmur. 

“Y/N?” Tom finally says.

I turn and face him, the smile falling from my face.

“You have lost your mind, Tom. I hoped and prayed that you would stop this reckless path of yours, especially after seeing the way you fell apart after you killed me. But, you’ve lost it. He is our son. I told you that I never wanted him a part of this dark and angry path you’ve paved for yourself. I wanted him to make his own choices. Even if he decided he wanted to follow in your footsteps, I never would let him.” I say.

“Mattheo, you will die just as an agonizing death as your mother.” He snaps and I see that Mattheo was trying to get closer to Narcissa that was sneaking off.

I nod at her and dive in front of Mattheo, taking her wand and pointing it at him. Narcissa’s hushed hurries to both Mattheo and her son, Draco were all I could hear. 

“Y/N, move.” He warns.

“Never.” I say.

“You chose the wrong side once, don’t tell me you're doing it again.” He says.

“I’m willing to sacrifice my life, even as a spirit.” I say, my eyes watering.

If I didn’t play my cards out right, Tom would remember some of the old legends about the spirit of a wizard. As a pureblood, magic ran through me indefinitely…even dead. It is what allows me to show myself briefly, however the killing curse triggered something to make me be able to show myself like I was now. This wasn’t brief…it wasn’t temporary…this was permanent. 

Tom seemed to be calculating what to do. He was trying to figure out how to get rid of me once and for all. I couldn’t let him do that. Mattheo has me and he is going to need me. He needs to be protected from Tom. Tom still held a place in my heart even after everything. I find myself reminiscing the love we use to both share, before it was just me.

“How are you doing this?” He asks.

“A mothers love is something no one can explain. I knew once I found out I was pregnant with Mattheo, that I’d die for him. He became my world in a heartbeat and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I say. 

“Mom!” Mattheo shouts.

I glance over to see him throwing something my way. My wand. I throw Narcissa’s back and catch mine, quickly mouthing “I love you” to Mattheo. I turn back to Tom, gripping my wand tighter.

“Expelliarmus!” We shout.

A green stream of magic shoots out of his wand as a blinding white shoots out of mine. I step forward, gripping my wand tighter as my magic starts to overpower his. 

“You are not more powerful than me, do you not forget how you died.” He seethes.

“Don’t forget you played an unfair game. My wand was in the other room. Otherwise, I’m sure you’d be the one dead.” I seethe back, my eyes watching a young boy destroy the last horcrux: Nagini.

His magic begins to overpower mine and I focus on what I’m doing this for. Mattheo’s life. I focus on the anger I had for Tom taking away my ability to raise Mattheo. I focus on the anger of Tom killing me in front of Mattheo. I focus on my pain of loving and hating Tom Riddle. 

My magic overpowers him, sending his wand flying out of his hand. I catch his wand, glaring at Tom who looks at his hand that starts to turn to ash.

“It’s over Tom.” I say.

“I’ll be back.” He says.

I step forward until I stand in front of him and I grab his face as I look down at him with a blank look.

“No, you won’t. The dark magic you’ve used and using horcruxes for yourself, has ruined your chance of ever being a spirit. You're going straight to hell, Tom.” I whisper.

“And you say you loved me.” He says.

“I don’t love this version of you. I love the Tom Riddle I was with when we attended Hogwarts. That is the Tom Riddle I am in love with.” I say, stepping back. 

I watch as the rest of him turns to ash, looking down at the wand I held. My eyebrows furrow, noticing this wasn’t his wand. This was the Elder Wand. I turn and walk towards Professor McGonagall.

“I believe this goes to you.” I say.

“You always were…have been an incredible woman, Y/N. Go be with Mattheo…and then come back and let's talk about you staying here at Hogwarts.” She says.

I smile, before stepping away and turning to see that Mattheo was already watching me. He breaks into a sprint and I smile, opening my arms up and wrapping him in a tight hug. We sway back and forth, the both of us hugging each other like it was going to be our last time.

“I didn’t realize you were this tall. It’s different when I’m standing here with you and not off to the side.” I whisper.

“Please tell me you aren’t leaving me.” He pleads quietly.

“I’ll probably be joining Moaning Myrtle and the others here at Hogwarts. At least until I move on…but I’m not going to be moving on for a long while.” I say.

“Are you unhappy you can’t move on?” He asks quietly.

“No, no of course not, sweet boy. I’m here with you and that is all I could ever want. The day I move on is the day that you join me on this side…the spirit side. However, I hope that won’t be for a really long time. I hope to see you do many great things, Mattheo.” I say, smiling softly at him.

[kookwashere]

A december kind of love

paring: reader x jungkook, wife/husband

sum: you and jungkook have been married for almost a year and this is your first christmas coming up together as a newly married couple, how will you both spend the start of your holiday season?

warnings: cute nicknames, smut later on in story (big dick jk and unprotected) explicit language, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of oc's trauma (r*pe and abuse), story in lowercase on purpose, please keep these in mind.

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the mistletoe, the little piece green plucked from nature decorated with holiday berries and a bow, hanging in front of a door.

you're arms were wrapped around his neck, his hands resting on your waist, staring in each others eyes in the doorway.

"it's a mistletoe, pretty girl, you know what that means?" he asked, his voice soft.

"of course i know what it means, what about it?" you whispered to him.

he leaned in and kissed your plump red lips. "you know, i've dreamed about spending this holiday for you for as long as i can remember." he said while pulling back

you smiled and played with his hair while looking into his eyes, "it's going to be a good season, huh?" you said.

"the best." he said while leaning in once again to kiss you under the mistletoe.

you smiled and kissed him back again, then your little niece came running in the room. "ooooh! mommy, aunt ____ and uncle kook are kissing again!" you heard her little voice and pulled away from jungkook.

"what are you doing haley? weren't you with your mom?" you asked bending down to her level. "mommy doesn't know i got out of the room...well i guess she does now that i called for her..." she realized. you just giggled and came back up to jungkook.

haley's mom come out, your older sister. "____, sorry she got out, i really tried to keep an eye on her but i got a call and turned around for one second and-" she started rambling "hey, hey- don't worry, i love my little haley." you said and smiled down at her. "and i love her too." jungkook said as he picked up haley in his arms and blew raspberries on her cheek, her cute little giggles filled the room.

"wow, i can't believe it's december already, i feel like all the months went by so fast, i cannot be the only one." you said with your hands on your hips. "no, i agree, it felt like yesterday i asked you to marry me." jungkook said with a smile on his face

"oh please, that felt like 1910." you said jokingly. "did it really feel that long ago?" he asked. "well, i was joking but in some ways it kind of does, i can already see your grey hair koo." you teased, fingers curling around his raven locks.

"what?? no, are you serious?" he panicked and ran to the bathroom to see. "koo, baby- i was just kidding, your still my handsome late 20 year old hubby." you said and pecked his cheek.

"shit, don't do that to me baby, you know wasting money on hair dye is not my thing." he breathed out with his hand over his heart.

you giggled and continued to put up more decorations around your house, your sister was just staying over for the holidays, "trust me, i know jungkook." you said walking away, still giggling.

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you and jungkook were lying in your shared bed, your head resting against his bare chest, his arm around your waist and hand resting on your hip, his other arm under his head, you drew circles on his chest in a pattern that he liked.

"i can't believe it, our first christmas coming up as a married couple." he mumbled out. you nodded and smiled. "crazy, isn't it?" you said against his chest. "i wonder if like 5 or 7 years from now, or whenever, we'll have our own little family, them jumping on our bed christmas morning saying 'santa came!'...i don't know, it's kind of stupid isn't it?" he chuckled.

"no koo, it's not stupid at all, i'm just shocked because i thought you said you didn't want kids." you looked up at him.

"yeah in my junior year of high school silly, but now that i met the love of my life and matured, that's my second big dream." he looked down back at you. "your second? what's your first?" you asked curiously.

"to spend the rest of my life with you until we are buried next to each other 6 feet underground." he smiled.

"hmmm, you little romantic dork." you flicked his forehead. "ow! what was that for?" he said putting his hand on his forehead.

"it's my love language if you forgot, i thought you knew that!" you pouted. "nah i didn't forget baby, just startled me." he chuckled and looked into your eyes. "do you remember my love language?" he asked softly.

"no i don't, do you maybe mind showing me?" you said just as softly back. he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and slowly leaned in, connecting your lips.

your hands found the back of his neck and the kiss melting ever so softly, it just felt so right. he knew he was getting carried away, you both did, but you both needed this right now.

"kook- haley is right next to us in the other room..." you said breaking the kiss. "i guess you'll have to be quiet then, yeah?" he said kissing down your neck, sliding his hands up your night gown.

you held onto his shoulders as he kissed right between your breasts, his hands discarding the night gown.

he came back up to you but his fingers didn't, no, his fingers went down, under your panties, finding your excitement that came from that heated kiss, and just him himself.

"already wet? we just kissed baby, how cute..." he teased. "stop jungkook, please..." you said while gripping his shoulders tighter.

he kissed you again, tongues interlocking, his fingers sliding into your entrance, you moaned but you quickly stopped when you remembered haley or your sister could wake up any moment.

jungkook slid another finger in, shortly a second one, his index finger, middle finger and ring finger all in there. "gotta stretch you out again, it's been awhile." he groaned out. you moaned at his words. "you liked that huh? you dirty girl..." he teased sexily. "kook, g-gonna-" you couldn't finish your sentence because he pulled his fingers out. "i don't think so, cmere." he said and flipped you onto your fours. he quickly took off his boxers, grabbing his heavy length and slapping it against your ass cheek.

"i don't have a condom, is this okay?" he asked quietly. "yes, fuck jungkook, just please put it in." you whined desperately. he bit his lip and lined up his member, sliding it in easily because of your wetness.

"oh my fucking god, fuck baby..." you heard from behind you, your hands pressed against the headboard, moaning as quiet as you can.

his thrusts started to get meaner, but still gentle with you. your moans were started to get louder. "shhh, i should've put my cock in your mouth before to teach you what it's like to be quiet, you disobedient girl." he slapped your ass while thrusting into you. "i-im sorry, i-i- oh my god... i'm trying..." you moaned out, your hand cupping over your mouth to try and be quiet. "mmm." he moaned out, each thrust against you, your ass rippled against him.

"yeah? you like this huh? i do too, i fucking love it, i fucking love you." he said moaning. "i- fuck! i love you too." you whined put. "i'm gonna cum baby, can i cum inside? can i cum inside your tight little pussy?" he said, his thrusts losing that fast steady pattern. "fuck, please jungkook..." you said about to lose it. you felt a pressure in your belly, your eyes rolling back while letting out the sluttiest, beautiful, hottest moan jungkook has heard. just a few seconds after, jungkook came inside you with a loud groan and a strong grip on your ass.

you felt over, breathing heavily, jungkook doing the same. after a few minutes he got up with a warm towel, gently cleaning you both up, with the bed.

"go pee baby." jungkook said gently patting your thigh. you groaned, you were so comfy though. "okay, stay here." you said wrapping a towel around your body. "of course." he smiled tiredly. you went to the bathroom and came back, and joined jungkook in his open arms.

"thank you." you whispered while hugging him. "no, thank you." he said back, hugging you even tighter.

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you woke up in the morning, and yawned, looked over to your side to see your husband beside you. "hey baby, good morning." you whispered, pecking his forehead. he's out of it. you giggled seeing him snore like a beast." you got out of bed, and went over to your full sized mirror, seeing all the love marks jungkook left on your body. your neck, your breasts, your thighs. you sighed, you didn't sigh because you were mad, fuck, you felt like a canvas that was painted by the best artist. you sighed because these marks were good, unlike previous ones you had.

"baby, what's wrong?" you heard a deep voice behind you. "oh good morning! it's nothing." you said looking at him and smiling. "i know when something is wrong, tell me, please." he said holding both of your hands. you hesitated a moment, looking into his eyes.

you sighed giving in. "do you remember i told you the relationship with my father was not good, at all?" you asked tilting your head. "you mentioned it a few times, what's wrong?" he said squeezing your hands.

"when i was 9, my father was always out, he went to clubs, he drinked, cheated on my mom numorous times, it was like that every night. he would come home and throw me and my sister in a closet, locking us in there until we 'learned our lesson'." you looked down your lap. "he burned cigars on our skin, he slapped our mother right infront of us, he threw us and slapped us aswell, it was like that until one night, he was super drunk, more than usual, my sister and mom were already locked in a closet, god knows what happened to them, i was playing with the only barbie i had. i remember him randomly grabbing my arm, throwing me on the bed..then..." you couldn't finish the sentence.

"i'm so sorry, i knew i should have told you earlier but i thought you would think of me differently and then-" you cried "hey, ___, baby- it's okay, shh, your okay baby." he said and pulled you to his chest. "that's why im so close with my sister, just a couple years after that we found out our mom had died and our dad eventually was put in jail...my sister was the one that took care of me, she was always there for me, that's why i'm trying to do the same for her right now." you said, still crying but not as much.

"awww baby...," he whispered. "i don't think any differently of you, if anything...i think your so brave, your such a strong, intelligent, brave woman, that's a reason i fell in love with you, more than you would ever know." he whispered connecting your foreheads.

you smiled and hugged him. "i love you jungkook, i love you so much." you said in his neck.

"i love you more, ____."

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you were still decorating the christmas tree when you realized you forgot to put the star on top, how silly of you. you couldn't even fucking reach the top. "jungkook?" you yelled. "can you help me put the star on the tree?" he came almost immediately, "don't worry, i got you." he smiled.

"thank you." you stepped back so he could work his magic. the star lit up on the tree and it really did pull all of it together. haley came running into the room. "mommy, look! it's a star!" she said with a big toothy smile. "sure is haley, isn't it beautiful?" your sister said. "yes! it's so beautiful like me!" she said confidently.

all three of you giggled agreeing. "i have a really good feeling this is going to be a good christmas and that 2024 is going to come with wonderful things." you said to your sister and jungkook. "i agree." your sister nodded while smiling, staring at the beautiful tree.

jungkook took your hand and kissed the top of it. "as beautiful as this tree is, i have something more beautiful that i can look at every single day." he said looking at you. "maybe in 2024 there will be surprises, sadness, joy, love, but whatever it is, im in it with you, and for the rest of the years to come." he said smiling, taking your hand and leading you under the mistletoe once again.

"you slick boy." you said smiling, leaning in to kiss him again, of course with haley teasing both of you and showing her mother. "you cute girl." he said back, leaning into kiss you again.

yeah, this will be a good year.

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that's it!! i hope you liked this little christmas treat, i'm just posting this now because i'm going to be busy the rest of december but wanted to do something 🥺 i hope everyone has a merry christmas and a happy new year! 💜

[the-bad-batch-baroness]

Where's Mommy?

Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Part 11

Summary: Wolffe's wife suddenly dies, leaving him a single father in the middle of a war.

Pairing: Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Characters: Wolffe, Cara (child OFC), Comet, Sinker, Boost, Warthog, Plo Koon

Tags & Warnings: heavy angst, mention of death, off-screen death, spousal death, grief, hurt/comfort, family fluff

Word Count: 1.3k

Author's Note: PLEASE READ! I have made the decision to change this series from a reader fic to an OC fic. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this and it's not something I decided on overnight. I don't believe I can do the narrative justice by staying in the constraints of a reader fic, and my first duty is always to the narrative. I'm sorry if this upsets anyone, but trust me, having to go back and re-write everything into third-person past-tense was not on my to-do list. I realize I do not have an OC option on my taglist sign up form. This has been fixed. If you would no longer like to be tagged in this series, please let me know. All of the parts will be updated along with the corrected tags before the next part is posted in two weeks. I apologize for the inconvenience. As always, please enjoy 💚

Beta: @beating-a-dead-plot

Part 1 || Prev | Next

Series Masterlist

After the long trek up the Jedi Temple steps, Wolffe placed Cara down onto the ground and let her walk beside him, but he securely held her hand. The Temple still made him feel uneasy, but with a little gentle prodding from Plo, and after passing by several clone troopers, he decided to release Cara's hand and let her walk on her own. He kept one eye on where he was going and the other on her to make sure she didn't wander off on him. She had always been a curious child.

As Plo guided the group through the Temple halls to their new quarters he told Cara a little story that made her giggle and laugh. It warmed Wolffe's heart to hear her laugh and he soaked up as much of it as he could. She had been through so much already, and the funeral was going to ruin any chance of him hearing her laugh in the near future. It wasn't like he laughed much either. His wife was the one who laughed the most, but it was contagious and he always caught it from her.

Along their journey, Wolffe had to stop Cara from touching things that didn't belong to her. She wanted to touch everything within reach and most of it belonged to the Jedi or someone else. The rest of the Wolfpack found it amusing and snickered every time Wolffe veered off from the group to grab his wandering child. He'd never been on babysitting duty before, but his wife made it look easy when they went out together so he thought it wouldn't be an issue for him. He was dead wrong.

"Cara," Wolffe sighed as he sprinted over to her once again. This time it was a cube-shaped shiny-looking object sitting on a table. "If you don't stop walking away from me, I'm gonna have to carry you."

"Look! It's pretty," Cara said as she picked up the cube and admired it.

"It's not yours," Wolffe said. He took the cube from her and placed it back down where she found it.

Cara pouted, turned away from Wolffe, and crossed her arms. "But it was pretty…"

Wolffe's eyes softened and he crouched down to her level. "I know, but just because something is pretty doesn't mean you can take it. That's called stealing."

Cara turned back to face Wolffe, still pouting. "Is stealing bad?"

"Yes, it is," Wolffe said. "The Coruscant Guard can put you in jail for that."

"I don't want to go to jail!" Cara gasped and put her hands behind her back. "I don't like Fox."

Wolffe tried to hide a snort, but failed miserably. "Don't worry, baby, you won't. As long as you stop touching things that don't belong to you."

"Okay," Cara said. She reached her arms up for Wolffe to pick her up and he obliged.

Wolffe fell back into step with the rest of the group as Plo continued to direct them through the Temple. With so many twists, turns, and hallways it wouldn't be easy for Cara to leave the temple, even by accident, which was one of Wolffe's major concerns about getting deployed. Actually, he had a whole list of concerns, but he could only focus on one at a time. He never used to be such a worrier, not with his wife around, but now, so many things could go wrong if he wasn't there with her.

"We have arrived," Plo said as he stopped and turned to face a plain door in the hallway.

Wolffe was pulled away from his thoughts when he heard his general's voice and realized that he'd been walking on autopilot for the last stretch of the journey. He'd have to access the Temple maps later to make sure he knew where all of the entrance and exit routes to and from the room were. He'd memorize the entire Temple layout if he had to. He refused to leave any of this up to chance. There was too much at stake. He couldn't stay focused on a mission if he was thinking about Cara's welfare.

Wolffe placed Cara down and took a hold of her hand. This was new for the both of them, but they'd do it together, even if it was scary. Plo opened the door and Wolffe did an immediate visual scan for threats and initial observations. It was spacious compared to any living quarters the GAR had ever given him, but it looked rather restricting for Cara, who had lived her whole life in a multi-room apartment. It was a simple layout with a bed, a desk, a wardrobe, a window, and, thankfully, no enemies.

Cara grabbed Wolffe's leg and stepped behind him to hide. He could tell she was nervous, but so was he.

"Daddy," her voice trembled. "I want to go home."

Wolffe twisted his neck around to look down at her and sighed. He gave her an encouraging pat on the back and walked forward into the room with her following behind. "This…" he began, but hesitated. "This is home now." The words tasted bitter even for him, but if he was going to convince Cara, he needed to convince himself first. It definitely wasn't home. Not by a longshot. Home was their apartment. Home was pretty curtains and smelly flowers. Home was a warm meal. Home was his wife.

"Out of the way!" Sinker shouted as he barreled past Wolffe and Cara. "Man with a box coming through!"

Cara giggled and Wolffe shook his head as the rest of the Wolfpack filed into the small room.

Boost plopped down onto the bed and bounced on it with exaggerated motions. "This bed is super soft. Softer than any bed I've ever slept on. You should feel it!"

Cara let go of Wolffe's leg and ran over to the bed to try it out for herself.

"Look at this!" Warthog exclaimed over his shoulder. "There's a window too. You can see all of Coruscant from up here!"

Cara hopped off of the bed and ran over to look out the window. She was just a tad bit too short, so Warthog picked her up so she could see.

Comet walked into the room last and pulled open the doors of the wardrobe. "Wow," he said with a big smile. "Lots of space in here, too. You're really staying in luxury, ad'ika."

Wolffe crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe, shaking his head as a small smile crept onto his face. What was once a terrifying situation was now an exciting adventure thanks to the Wolfpack. They knew he was scared just as much as Cara was, even if he'd never admit it, and their exaggerated display had not only eased her fears, but some of his own as well. She was smiling, giggling, laughing, exploring, and seemed fine right now. They saw her fear and shot it point blank like the good soldiers they were.

"Commander," Plo said, interrupting Wolffe's thoughts. "If you will excuse me, I have a briefing to attend."

Wolffe's small smile turned into a grimace. "Understood," he said. "I'll grab my kit."

"No need," Plo dismissed with a wave of his hand. "I will take the sergeant with me. You are much more needed here."

Wolffe looked at Sinker, who nodded in agreement. "I'll report back when the briefing is over."

"And I will meet you all on the terrace in a couple hours," Plo said, a sadness invading his voice.

Wolffe nodded in response and watched as the two left. He worried his lip and wondered what the briefing was about. Normally a briefing meant they were about to deploy, but he hoped that this time it was the slim case where it wasn't a deployment order, because the thought of leaving Cara so soon burned a hole straight through his gut. They still had the funeral to deal with, and he couldn't abandon her after that. It would make him a deplorable father and human being, but a very good soldier.

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Hide and Seek -> Pt. 1 [Hawks] (Fluff)

(One-shot 25/? in a collection of My Hero Academia one-shots posted regularly on Saturdays - and sometimes Sundays.)

Read on AO3.

Tags: Keigo Takami, Takami Keigo, Hawks, Original Female Character(s), Ichijiku Aoki, Tigress, Fluff, Angsty Fluff, There's a Little of Both Okay, It's Bittersweet, Pining Hawks, Childhood Friends to Lovers, It's Actually So Cute, Takami - Keigo's Father Mentioned, Tomie Takami Mentioned, Bookstore is Mentioned, OC Works at a Bookshop, She Lives in Kamino Ward, The Bad Part of Town, Hawks Gets Protective, Pinky Promise, I'm Bad at Tagging, But I Blame That on the Fact that You Kinda Need to Read the Prompt Itself to Understand, What Else Do You Want from Me?

Word Count: 3,137 words

Summary: Hawks' childhood was not unlike that of Ichijiku Aoki, and she would know because she was his best friend. Ten long years after leaving her to train and be a hero, Hawks suddenly pops up in Ichijiku's life again.

Author's Note: This one-shot is a little different. Normally when I write multiple parts of a one-shot, I just include it in a separate series. However, this one just happened to run a little longer, so I decided breaking it into chunks would be helpful. I may end up deciding to make it its own series anyway, who can say? For now, you get part 1/2 of this tasty delicious prompt!

Ichijiku (Tigress)

Mommy doesn’t like emotional brats. That’s why when she and Daddy fall asleep, I sneak out the back door and start running down the trail behind our house. I make it to the broken tree before I see a blurry house. 

I step closer, the house getting clearer until it’s obvious it’s more of a shack, wooden and decrepit. It looks like the perfect place to play House, or Superheroes, or even Tea Party! Looking over my shoulder, I crawl beneath a lonely window and peek in. 

A little boy with red feathers looks back at me and I crouch as my heartbeat makes it hard to hear. I look up after a moment to find him when his shadow hangs out of the window above me.

“What are you doing here? You have to go before you get in trouble!” He whispers, turning over his shoulder. “My dad will be really angry if he sees you.”

“My mommy can’t find me, or she’ll whoop me good.” I hiss back.

We stare at each other for a minute before his pretty red feathers swirl around me. My face slips into a smile as I reach for it.

“This your quirk? What are they for?”

“I can move them around and hear things with them, but…Mom and Dad say they’re pretty useless.”

“Can you fly?”

“I dunno. Never tried.” He shrugs. “They don’t let me leave our house.”

“You should see if you can–” A limb snaps and both of us freeze, eyes snapping towards the sound.

“KEIGO!” 

I wave at him before hopping into the closest hidey hole I see: a barrel. The loud voice inside reminds me of Mommy. I expect the yelling and the smack! that follows, as well as the sharp scolding about being respectful and listening to adults.

I’m not expecting the silence that follows to be tainted with soft sobs from the sassy little boy from the window.

It makes me sad.

I peek out of my barrel and climb out, before looking into the broken window. The boy - Keigo? - faces away from me with shaky wings. He sniffles every few seconds as I listen for footsteps, eyes latched onto the woman sleeping on a mat beside him.

When I climb through and pad over to him, I pat his shoulder and pull on his arm. He pulls back and shakes his head.

“You have to go–”

“Who are you?” A tired voice asks.

I whip my head around to find a lady and two extra eyes watching me. Those two eyes float and circle around me, coaxing me to move closer to Keigo. I swallow thickly and hide my trembling hands behind my back.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m Keigo’s friend.”

“I asked who you are, Keigo’s friend. What’s your name?”

“Ichijiku.” I answer, looking at the floating eyes. “What are those for?”

“None of your business, kid.” Dark circles line her eyes as she glares at me. “Why are you here? How do you know Keigo?”

“I just met him. I was playing Hide and Seek outside when I found this house.” I explain carefully, glancing away. 

“Well, you’re not welcome here, kid. Keigo doesn’t have any friends. And if you don’t move your ass, my husband will kick you out personally.”

“Can I come visit Keigo another time if I promise not to bring nobody?” I plead.

“Tch. You can certainly try, kid.”

“Okay!” I lock her pinky with mine. “I pinky promise I won’t bring no one next time. See you later, Keigo!” 

. . . . .

The next time I see Keigo, I make extra sure I don’t see any eyes as I sneak in. No one else is in the house as I tiptoe over the wooden floorboards. Keigo’s still curled up in the same spot he was before, red feathers fanned out behind his back.

“Hi, Keigo.” I whisper.

“Huh?” He turns over and his eyes widen as he jolts to a standing position. “Ichijiku?”

“Yep!”

“What are you doing here?!” He hisses, squeezing a plushie against his chest. “I told you, my dad will kill you if he sees you here!” 

“He won’t see me.” I assure him. “Besides, you’re my friend! Do you wanna go play Hide and Seek outside?”

“I’m not allowed to go outside, ever.” He frowns.

“Oh.” I rub the back of my neck as I look around. “Well, do you wanna play Superheroes in here, instead?”

“What if my parents come back and you’re still here?”

“We can listen to hear when they’re coming and then I’ll go hide!” I say quickly, before I gasp and point at his feathers. “You said you can hear stuff with your feathers, right? Maybe you can listen for them?”

Keigo looks around the house one time, before he turns back to me with a smile.

“Let’s do it!”

It becomes our ritual to see each other at least once a week playing as the world’s greatest superheroes: Tiger and Birdie! Since Keigo can’t go outside and find me, I make the trek every Thursday to go visit.

Until one day I find the dilapidated shack empty.

My shoulders slump. My little legs scour the surrounding area and all over the house with no luck. No floating eyeballs. No loud, red-haired man. No Keigo. 

I return to my house feeling more lonely and worried than ever. Did he leave because he got in trouble? Did I get him in trouble? Will he ever come back? A few weeks pass and answer my question. As the little shack remains vacant, it becomes clear he's not coming back.

Mommy and I are waiting for the train when I spot it.

A small, red feather.

“What the hell are you looking at? Hurry up!” Mommy jerks me forward. “Pay attention so we’re not late!”

I see Keigo huddled up against the wall with his mom and my face smiles so wide it hurts! I look up at Mommy, scrolling on her phone, and get an idea.

When the train doors open and we make it to the platform, I duck and squirm between the people behind us to wiggle back into the train station. I dart over to Keigo as soon as the train doors close.

“Keigo-kun!” I call, sliding to a stop on my knees in front of him. “I found you!”

“Ichan?” His head lifts and his eyes sparkle.

I yank him into my arms, hugging him so tight. I don’t want to let him go. I want to take him home with Mommy so that he can stay with us forever!

“Where did you go?” I whisper, pulling back and wiping my face. “Your house is empty!”

“Endeavor saved us from my dad, Ichan! Endeavor’s real! Like…really real!” Keigo exclaims, holding out his Endeavor doll. “He helped us get away from Dad!”

“Yeah, and now we’re homeless, Keigo.” His mother scoffs, turning her head away. “We have nothing. Nothing to eat, nowhere to stay. Why do you have those feathers if you’re not gonna use them?”

 Keigo and I look between each other and then his mom. We remain silent. I turn back to the train to make sure my mom hasn’t come back for me yet. 

She’s going to be so angry.

“Where’s your mom, Ichan?”

“I hid from her so I could say hi.” I admit, rocking back and forth on my feet. “Is this where you’re staying?”

“For now, yeah. We move around Fukuoka to find places to stay warm or get food.” He pauses to look behind me before he adds. “You’re not gonna get in trouble are you?”

“Probably. But it’s okay. Maybe…maybe if I talk to my mommy you could stay with us! And then you wouldn’t have to look for food or blankets!” I offer.

“No way, kid.” Keigo’s mom snaps. “I’m not staying somewhere with another brat to take care of and a stranger. Get lost.”

I open my mouth to disagree, but Keigo’s eyes widen and he shakes his head. He uses a feather to turn me around.

“Ichijiku Aoki!” My mom snatches me by the front of my shirt as I flinch back with scrunched eyes. “What on earth did you think you were doing? What if I hadn’t found you? Now those bastards are looking into the custody case on the grounds that I’m not a competent parent. Get your ass back on that train!”

The following pop on my butt burns, but not as much as it burns to wave goodbye to Keigo.

. . . . .

“Pardon me, ma’am. Is your daughter home?”

“My daughter? What is this about? I’ve been getting her packed to move in with her father, you bastards. Why are you here?”

I peek around the corner of the dining table as I see men in black suits talking with Mommy. My stuffed tiger stays squished against my chest as I watch them.

“Ma’am, I’m afraid you’re mistaken. We’re not here to take your daughter. We’re here because a friend of hers would like to say goodbye.”

“Who?”

When Keigo comes into view, I gasp and pop out of my hiding spot, running over to him. This time, he’s the one that pulls me against his chest.

“Did you come over to play, Keigo? I’ve got–”

“I’m sorry, young lady, but he’s not here to play. He’s here to tell you goodbye. He won’t be speaking to you anymore.” A man behind him says.

Keigo stands there with his feathers looking sad. They drag on the ground as he tilts his head down.

“He…” I look at Keigo. “I won’t get to see you again? Never ever?” 

“Not never ever!” He says confidently, lifting his head. “Just…not for a long time. It’s like Hide and Seek. But this time, I’ll be the one to find you.”

“You pinky promise?” I ask, holding out a small digit while my eyes burn. Sticky tears dry on my face before he ever leaves, before he ever links his finger with mine.

“Pinky promise.”

. . . . .

“That was years ago, Sacchan, I doubt he remembers who I am.” I whisper to her over a crowd of fawning girls.

Years following Keigo’s abrupt removal from my life, I’ve walked the streets every day hoping for a glimpse of red feathers. By the time Hawks made his debut, I’d all but given up hope in ever seeing him again.

But now? Seeing the familiar floating feathers and the swarm of fangirls on a morning stroll with Sayuri could only mean one thing.

“There’s no way he’d forget you, Ichan! It sounds like you were his only friend as a kid. You don’t just forget that.” She presses, urging me forward against the claustrophobic hoard of warm bodies. “At least say hi. Don’t pass up the opportunity to meet #3!” 

At her insistence, I worm my way through the crowd; people scream his name and reach for his feathers. I know I have no shot, but I still raise my hand to get his attention when he looks in my direction.

Immediately, our eyes lock.

“Ichan!” His eyes widen and he surges forward, rendering me frozen. “Hey! Ichijiku, yeah?”

“Y-Yes. You…remember me?”

“Definitely! I told you I’d find you again, didn’t I? I’d know your face anywhere.” He smirks, red feathers circling around me. “Remember these?” How do I tell him that my every waking moment has been filled with the hope of seeing them again? That every thought in my mind has been tainted with his promise, with his smile?

“I do.” I grin, giggling as they tickle my face. “Did you ever figure out if you could fly?” I taunt.

“Haha! Sure did! Turns out you had the right idea.” His laughter settles in my bones and heals every ache. When he leans in close to me, the smell of springtime and cologne invades my nostrils as he whispers in my ear. “Meet me on the roof of this building in two hours.”

“Okay.” I breathe, exhibiting maximum self-control to keep from reaching for him when he pulls back.

“We’ve gotta catch up sometime!” He beams.

“For sure.” I nod.

As I’m shoved back into Sayuri’s side by the thronging mob, she gives me a knowing smirk while I pinch myself to see if I’m stuck in a dream.

“Told you he’d remember.”

“Shut up.” I flush. “We need to finish shopping quickly; I’m busy in 2 hours.”

. . . . .

Between my attention span and restless limbs, I simply can’t wait. I’m reclining on the roof well before the time I’m supposed to show up. For one lonely hour, I bond with the sky, voicing my insecurities and long-lost desires to the clouds as I gaze over the streets of Japan. 

“Breathtaking.” Keigo’s voice ricochets through every muscle.

“Y-Yeah.” I squeak, hopping onto my feet and rubbing the back of my neck. “I don’t often get a view of the city from this high up.”

He chuckles, warm and inviting, as he steps within arm’s reach of me. “I wasn’t talking about the city, Ichan.”

I don’t have time for this. I can’t have time for this. The feeling of home that saturates every limb with this bittersweet reunion clashes with the reminder that a year ago I’d given up hope. I’d given up hope and decided to try and move past my age-old crush on a childhood friend that I’d never see again.

Now, here he is.

And the man waiting for me at home is not Keigo.

Yet, here I am. I am on top of a building looking out over Japan with Keigo. He thinks I’m breathtaking. And even though I know Akuma should be getting off work in a few minutes and heading to the apartment, my temperature skyrockets as I laugh off the giddy feelings building in my bones. 

“You grew into a charmer, I see.” I nudge him. “At any rate, it’s really good to see you again, Keigo.”

“Hawks, please. At least in public. My real name has been scrubbed from existence.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets. “I’ve been looking for you since I became a hero, you know? I promised I’d find you, and I never forgot about you.”

“I never forgot you either, Birdie.” With every inhale, I get minutely closer to him until our arms touch. “I’ve missed you. I was starting to worry I’d never see you again.”

He envelops me in his arms and holds me against his chest. The warmth of his aviator’s jacket mingles with the heat of longing I’ve smothered over the years. 

“How have you been?” I ask.

“Busy.” Keigo loses a bit of his smile as he pulls back. “Being #3 calls for a lot of work. It’s exhausting.”

“I can imagine.” I peer up at him and focus hard so I don’t get lost in him. His smile. His eyes. His broad wings surrounding the two of us in our own little bubble. “You do an amazing job, for what it’s worth. I’m grateful for all the hard work you put in for everyone.”

“Heart of gold, just like I remember.” He pauses. “What have you been up to, then, Tiger?”

“Ugh…I’d hoped you’d forget that nickname.”

“Aw, come on! I’d never forget our first hero names. Tiger and Birdie fight for justice, remember?”

“Yeah.” I reminisce. “But I’m working at a local bookshop now. I’ve always enjoyed books. Being surrounded by them all day brings me a sense of peace that I’ve only ever found with you.” I turn away from him, facing the bustling view of the city.

“Nice! Following your dreams, yeah? Which bookshop do you work at? Which part of town?”

I stiffen and his feathers vibrate. 

“Honshiro, it’s a second-hand bookstore in downtown Kamino Ward.” I try to evade. “I’m also–”

“Woah, wait. You live over there?!” His wings stretch wide, large and captivating. “But it’s so dangerous over there! Why are you staying there, of all places? Why not further east where the neighborhood is safer? Isn’t there a Honshiro there, too?”

“Well, yeah. But, I mean, ideally we would have stayed in Fukuoka, but Akuma had a better work deal downtown.”

“Akuma?” Keigo’s feathers twitch and his eyes glow. “Who’s he?”

I look down, feeling my world crashing around me. What if I’d just waited? What if I had held out hope that Keigo would come back for me? Would I be living better than I am now? Would I be happier?

Would Keigo be mine?

“Akuma is my boyfriend.”

“Oh…” I don’t miss the way his wings droop. “Right. But, well, you can’t stay there. That place is crawling with villains. Fukuoka is my agency’s base of operations. You’d be safest there. I mean, even Kumamoto would have you in Ms. Joke’s territory.”

“I know, Birdie, but I can’t.” I sigh. “Akuma’s on the brink of a really big promotion. We’ll only be in Kamino Ward for a couple months tops. I’ll ask him what his position will be and if we can go somewhere safer, okay?”

“A couple of months?” He frowns before it melts into a little smile. “Well, I guess that’s better than nothing. But do me a favor and talk with him about it sooner rather than later…please? See if he can afford to move somewhere else.” “Hawks…” I sigh. “I really want to, but Akuma has a really good proposition there.”

“Is it a good proposition for you, though?” “Why does it matter so much to you, Birdie?” The distance between us suffocates me.

Silence stretches between us as he extends a gloved hand out to me. His lips part to say something before he clenches his hand into a fist and drops it to his side.

I deserve the pit. I deserve the lowest circle of hell. Because at that moment, I would do anything to make him reach out again and tell me he loves me.

“We both lived through similar childhoods. I was given an opportunity to be freed of it. I just want the same for you.”

“I know. I appreciate that you still care about me after all this time.” I look up at him, begging him with my expression to be mine even though I shouldn’t. He’s busy looking over the city, the collar of his jacket hiding his expression. “Can we keep in touch, then? If you give me your number, I can at least promise to call you anytime I think I’m in trouble.”

“Deal.” He taps his phone against mine and our contact information is swapped. “Promise me you’ll call me the second you’re in trouble.”

I hold out my pinky for him as a grin twitches on my lips. “Pinky promise.”

And with a crooked grin, he links his pinky in mine.

Want More Hawks? Try: Elysium

[bebepac]

The Last Part

I am participating in @choicesflashfics prompt: If you think I’d ever love someone after you, then I have failed in showing how much you mean to me”  will appear in bold.

I am also participating in @choiceschallenge-may2023 for engagement.

Thanks @peonierose​ for sending me an ask that helped a part of this fic come to fruition

This is the next to the last chapter of the Rotten Apple.  I decided to make the final, the Wedding be it’s own chapter on its own.  A lot of stuff is going to happen in that chapter.  Sorry it has been so long since updates, hopefully, you will believe the wait has been worth it.  

The Book: TRH

The Series:  The Rotten Apple 🍎

The Pairings: Eleanor x Nico (Eleanor x M!OC) 

Word Count: 2500ish

Warnings and ratings: Brief mention of mental illness/ Teen

Mood Music Monday Song Inspiration: The Call : Regina Spektor

Summary:  Elle and Nico have their first huge fight as a couple. Liam comes to visit Ellie and her family in Greece. 

Original post: 05/20/23 at 7:57PM  EST.  

She stared at him in silence focusing on his eyes; they were completely unreadable.  

 She could always tell what was going on in his mind when he let her see him.  The two of them were identical in that aspect.  He could hide his true feelings from her, if he wanted to, and so could she. The look in his eyes scared her, until they brightened, and twinkled at her and a smile filled his face and more importantly his eyes. He had the most endearing smile line crinkles, which in turn made her smile.

Elle sighed in relief.  

“You’re happy.”  

“Of course I would be! Were you worried?”

“We didn’t plan this Nico…”  

“We didn’t plan Ana either, and I don’t regret how she came to be for a second.  Are you sure? How long have you known?”  

“Just since this morning.  I took a test, two to be exact, because I have been feeling off for the past few days. Both were positive. My doctor would like me to come in to confirm.  They might need to adjust some of my medications to make sure everything is safe for the baby, and for me. The earliest she could get me in is this Friday.”  

“I would like to go with you.  I want to be at every appointment with you. I don't want to miss anything. We both missed crucial points of Ana's life. Let's not make that mistake again."

The way he was looking at her now, enamored and proud, the way he gently caressed her stomach, was the way she had wished he had looked at her, when he had found out about Ana…. but those were different circumstances. Their life together was progressing in a natural way.

Wednesday

Elle rolled back over in bed, It was barely dawn. When she moved, she felt Nico's grip tighten around her. He softly kissed her earlobe and whispered softly in her ear.

"Go back to sleep, she's not up yet."

"Just because she's still sleeping doesn't mean that we have to."

"Mmmmm….wonder what's on your mind?"

Nico softly kissed her neck, nipping at her skin, grinding his hips into hers.

"Feels like the same thing that is on your mind."

Elle licked her lips pulling Nico's shirt off.

"A little delight to keep you in a good mood at work?"

"Yes, I love that idea."

“Then maybe you should lock the door?”  

Nico jumped up quickly turning the lock before returning to bed with Elle.

Ana was out of school home with Elle for the day.  

“Stay home with us Papa.”  

Elle still had that nonchalant look  that she always did, softly shrugging her shoulders, with a little smirk to her lips, 

which had Nico grinning.

“I would if I could Honeybee, but you and Mommy don’t get many days alone together, and you two should take advantage of it.”

Nico winked at  Elle as he kneeled for a moment to kiss Ana’s forehead.  Then he stood and kissed Elle’s lips, grazing her stomach with a feather light touch.

“You could stay home with us, if you want. We don’t mind.”  She emphasized the word 'could' to him to let him know he was wanted there by her.

“No it’s alright.  Have a girl’s day together, and I’ll bring you each a surprise home later.”  

Ana pushed Nico towards the door.

“Bye Papa!!!!”  

Nico lightheartedly laughed.

“Guess I’m being kicked out then.” 

 “Have a good day.” 

 Elle smoothed down the lapels of his uniform tugging him close to kiss him once more.

“I’ll be back home soon.”

“With a surprise at lunch?”  Ana chimed in.

“Mayyyybe.”    

Both Nico’s girls watched him walk down the driveway to his vehicle.  He gave one last wave as he drove out of sight.

Elle began her day of  cleaning 

entertaining Ana, trying to make it a special day just for them,  unfortunately her stomach did not want to let that happen. Morning sickness happened throwing a monkey wrench into all of her plans. She remembered having bouts of sickness with Ana, but this was every day, now, multiple times of the day.

Elle was doubled over in the bathroom hugging the toilet when she heard the door open.

She couldn't speak as another wave of nausea hit her again.  

"Mommy are you okay?"  Ana's voice was full of fear.

"I'm just feeling a little sick. I'll be alright."

Ana burst into tears.

"Are you going back to the hospital?"

"No Ana. I'm not. It's not the same kind of sickness as before."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. I'll be out in a minute."  

Ana slowly closed the door behind her, leaving Elle alone.  Elle decided to make some more tea to make her feel better, better yet maybe it would be a good idea for her  to just drink some every afternoon. Ana looked truly mortified at the fact that she was sick, and afraid of the thought of her going away again.  They hadn’t told anyone about the pregnancy yet, and were waiting after Elle’s doctor’s appointment to share the news with everyone.  She tried to cheer Ana up

 before Nico came home from work to no avail.  

Ana was still unusually quiet at dinner, and Nico being so perceptive and intune with Ana, noticed immediately.

"What's wrong Honeybee?"  He playfully nudged her, smiling down at her.

She looked at Elle for a moment, then turned to him  shaking her head, shrugging her shoulders.  

Nico’s smile immediately faded, his facial muscles tensing slightly, an overwrought look taking over his face.

"Ana? What's wrong baby girl?" Nico was concerned.

“Nothing.”  Ana whispered, still failing to make eye contact with him while picking at the food on her plate. Something was wrong, and Ana was upset enough that it was affecting her appetite.

"Don't lie to me. You look at me when I talk to you, young lady."

Because of the sternness to Nico’s voice, Ana immediately  looked up from her plate.

"Tell me the truth Ana." he urged.

Ana's eyes filled with tears.

"Tell me Ana."

"Mommy's sick again."

Surprised flashed in his eyes as he dropped his fork, it hitting his plate with a loud clatter.

"Elle? What is she talking about?"

"I'm fine. I have been going to my therapy check ins. I haven't….seen him, Nico, I promise. I wouldn't hide that from you. You believe me right?"

Nico looked from Ana to Elle.

"What did you see Mommy do Ana?"

Elle gasped.

"Nothing! It can't be what you’re thinking! I didn't do anything Nico. I didn't."

Nico completely ignored her, focusing on Ana.

"What did you see her do, Honeybee?"

“Nico…”  Elle’s voice was low, pleading and timid. 

“I didn’t do anything…”

Ana looked at Elle. “Mommy…..”

"Nico…don’t do this."

Again, Nico ignored Elle speaking to Ana sternly.

“Don’t look at her.  You look at me and tell me the truth.” Nico raised his voice. “NOW! Eliana. I mean it.”

“It’s okay Ana.  Tell him whatever it is you saw.”

Immediately Ana’s eyes shifted to Nico’s.

"She was throwing up in the bathroom. She’s been sick a lot."

Relief washed over Nico’s face, and his smile returned.

"That's all you saw Ana?"

Ana nodded.

"Will Mommy have to go away again?"

"We should tell her then. I think it's time. We don't want her to be worried."

"You're right. She's scared."

"The reason Mommy is sick is because we have a baby on the way. Sometimes the baby makes Mommy's tummy upset."

"Did I make you sick when I was a baby?"

She looked between both of  their faces, but Nico couldn't answer because honestly, he didn't know.  Elle answered for him.

"I was sick a lot, but it was worth it because we have you now."

"And you know what this means Honeybee?"

She shook her head not understanding.

"You're going to be a big sister and you'll be able to help with the baby, like you do with Aunt Athena."

"Not with dirty diapers."

"Especially dirty diapers!"

Elle rose from her chair to walk around the table to Ana.

"I realize now how much I scared you, and how worried you were about me, and I'm sorry Ana."  

"It's ok Mommy, I just want you to stay with us, with me. Don't leave me."

Ana hugged her middle, and Elle gently stroked her hair.

"Never again."

Later that evening in their room Elle was giving Nico the cold shoulder.

"Elle, I'm sorry."

“You really thought I had hurt someone?  And that I wouldn’t care enough about our daughter to let her see me do it? Really Nico? Why am I even here if you have that little faith in me?”  

Nico looked absolutely ashamed of how he had reacted. He took her hands, pulling her closer to him.

He was met with silence; Elle was livid with him.

"What do you want me to say? What should I say right now?"

She yanked her hands free from his.

"I wanted you to say you believed me! But you didn't Nico! You looked to Ana for a confession of my wrongdoing!"

"The truth Elle....is I thought it might be the baby. You told me they might have to adjust your medication and that would have been my fault. Your medication was working just fine before the pregnancy ....…. And you’re pregnant because I got carried away in the moment and didn't use protection. That was my fault for not being careful."

He wasn't winning her over, Elle still looked angry.

"Nico, what we are building is supposed to have trust as a foundation, and what you just did to me in front of our daughter was the antithesis of that!"

Nico hung his head for a moment.

"I know…. All I can tell you is the truth, Elle. I was afraid. Every single time I get too happy, something goes wrong. And I thought…this is it. Here it is. The proof that we were fooling ourselves thinking we could do this… be together after everything that happened between us."

Elle's eyes that were filled with tears met his.

"You feel like that too?"

Nico nodded. 

"I feel like I don't deserve this. Like I don't deserve to be happy. But the only times I've been truly happy in my life is when I am with you."

She nodded.    

"I agree, even when I was trying to fight it Nico.  I know things are not perfect for us. Far from it. Maybe this is something we could think about working on together in therapy. Since it's something we both struggle with. Maybe it will help us both to work on it together."

"I've never been to therapy before."

"Never?!? After everything?"

"No, my family just looks at it a certain way. We deal with things on our own."

"Getting therapy doesn't make you weak Nico."

"I know that but…. It's just not what we do."

"Therapy really helped me, when I really made an effort and was honest with myself, along with taking the medication prescribed to me. I wouldn't be here now with you and Ana without those two things in conjunction. We should do everything in our power to make us stronger."

"I'll do this for you Elle. For us. We'll go."

"Okay."

Nico studied Elle's face.

"There's something else. Tell me Elle."

“The way Ana looked at you Nico.  She doesn’t look at me like that. She’s never looked at me like that.”

“It’s because I've had to discipline her when she has misbehaved. It usually doesn’t take much more than a stern voice to get her back in line. Ana has a very sensitive soul.

 She reminds me of your sister Liberty in that aspect.  Like Liberty, Ana was trying to protect you. She loves you so much Elle. I love you so much. I'm sorry that I had such little faith in you when you are showing me every day you have truly changed.”

That Friday appointment confirmed what they had expected it would, meaning their little family in seven more months would have a new little baby boy or baby girl as a new addition.  Nico had made a request.  The first person he wanted to tell was her father.  He wanted to invite him there for a visit.

Her father had agreed to come into town for a visit. In less than a week’s time he arrived on her doorstep smiling carrying a bag of gifts, and an even bigger surprise.

“Hi Father…. OH MY GOD!!!!!  LIBBY!?!?!?”

"Hi Ellie!"

She made the first gesture giving Libby a hug first and then her father.  

“Father, this is an amazing surprise. Thank you!”  She hugged him again.

"When Libby found out I was coming to see you here in Greece, she wanted to visit too.  You look very well Eleanor."

"Thank you Father. I feel better. Come in. Nico is not home yet, but he’s on the way. And dinner is almost ready."

"You're cooking?"

"Yes, I really enjoy it."

"It  smells wonderful."

"Thank you."

“How are things?”  Libby inquired.

"They're wonderful. I really love living in Greece, with Nico and Ana."

"You always did love Greece, even as a young child.  Are you happy Ellie?"

"Yes I am. The happiest I've ever been in my life.  It’s a dream come true.”

Ana came running up to Liam to give him a hug.    

"Pappoús!!!!"

Liam kneeled immediately, catching her in a hug.

“My beautiful granddaughter.  How are you?”

"I’m good!”  

Father’s guard Tomas did a check around the perimeter of the house.

“All clear Your Majesty.”

“Thank you Tomas.”  

“You look very well, Your Highness….’

“Thank you Tomas, but you can call me Eleanor, or Ellie.”  She still liked it that only Nico and his family called her Elle.  It felt very special to her.  

They decided to eat on  the patio since it was a wonderful night.  Conversation and laughter filled the night air.  

Elle smiled as her father heaped seconds of her meal onto his plate.  

“Ellie, this is amazing.  I’m genuinely in awe of your cooking skills, in such a short period of time.”  

“Well, I’ve had the best teachers here, and I really enjoy it.”  

Nico patted his stomach.  “I’ve gained over four kilos since she’s been home.”

“And I don’t mind that at all.  We both have gained some. The food just tastes better here.”  

“But that’s happiness. You two are happy together.”

“We are.”  

“Speaking of, would you mind taking a walk with me King Liam, there are some things I wanted to discuss with you.”  

“Of course. Let me just finish….”  He took a few more bites of the food from his plate.  

“There is dessert father.  Your favorite.”

“Let’s get this walk in Nico, it might need to be a spirited run.”  

“We’ll start  at a fast paced jog and see how that goes."

Elle and Libby laughed as the two started to jog down the driveway.

"What do you think they're going  to talk about?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

Libby stared at Ellie in silence waiting for her to connect the dots.

"You silly!!!!  Father insists the two of you have an announcement to make since you invited him here. Are you engaged? I know you're not wearing a ring unless you’re hiding it?  Are you engaged Ellie?”  

“No, he hasn’t asked.”

“Would you say yes if he did?”

Elle opened her mouth to speak but Libby immediately cut her off.  

“Of course you would!  I don’t even know why I even asked that. Well if you’re not engaged….”  Liberty’s eyes went wide.

“Are you pregnant again?”  

Elle choked on her drink.  “Why would you say that?”

“Could it be your mini me, that’s playing in the yard with your dog Icarus right now? You’re not denying it.  And you’re drinking water, not wine.”  

“So what? Nico is drinking water too.  He doesn’t drink anymore.  He only keeps wine in the house for company.”  

“You’re still not denying it Ellie….”

Elle nodded. "Yes, I'm pregnant.  He wanted to tell Father first."

"Think that's all Nico wanted to talk to him about?"

"I don't know, that’s all he told me he was going to tell him."

Nico and Liam

“I think this is a great spot to take a break.”  

Both Liam’s and Nico’s jogs stopped, pausing at the dock.  Both were relieved for the breather, neither were in the same shape they had been in when miles were easier to run and after a run, the two had spared for hours on multiple occasions.  

Before Nico could begin speaking, Liam spoke first.

“How is Eleanor doing?”

“She’s fine, she’s happy here, with me and Eliana.”  

Liam shook his head.  “How is she really?  We both know that’s how it started before, and then she started losing her grip on reality; she needed help.”  

“She is really doing well, King Liam.  She takes her medication daily, she goes to a therapist, we even see one together.  This is the most emotionally healthy she’s been in a very long time. Honestly the both of us are in a better place because of it.”  

“That’s really amazing to hear Nico.  And how is she with Eliana?”  

“Like no time has passed.  Ana loves her mother  as much as I do, which is why I wanted to talk to you alone.”  

“Alright, what do you wish to talk to me about?”

“Elle has been living here with me and our daughter for the past four months as a family and the past two of those, we have rekindled our relationship. With your blessing, I would like to ask Elle to become my wife. I have had my mother’s ring for her all this time, and now I feel like we are ready for this.  We’re having a family get together tomorrow night, and I would love to ask her while you and Liberty are still here visiting. She won’t say it, but she needs and misses all of you.” 

“We have missed her too.  I talked to Eleanor for a bit before you came home, she is very content with her life here with you. That’s all I ever wanted for her, was to find her happiness, and she has.  You have my blessing Nico.”  

“There’s more.  We also wanted you to be one of the first to know.  The home we are creating for ourselves, and our family is growing. We just found out last week Elle is pregnant.”  

“Then congratulations are in order. I would have never thought the two of you then, would have found your way back to each other now.  I remember telling Eleanor not to expect anything from you, because of what she had done.”  

“I love her, and I see her even when she has the broken pieces, and she sees me, even though I have mine, and somehow this just works.”        

“I see that now.”  

Party at the Karahalios Home

“Who is he?  Another of your cousins?  You have so many I can’t keep track of them all.”  

The young man had asked Liberty to dance for the fourth time.

“Actually no, he’s the son of a friend of the family.  We’re not related.”  

“He seems rather taken with Liberty.”  

“A little too taken.”  

“Father please!  Let her have some fun.”  

Liam crossed his arms over his chest.  “I’m watching him.”  

After more dances were enjoyed by all, Nico got the attention of the family crowd.

“Thank you everyone for coming out tonight, I can honestly say I’ve never been more content with the life I’ve been given and it’s all because of you Elle.   Can you come join me please?”  

“Go!”  Liberty gently pushed Ellie, she looked surprised as she walked across the lawn to  take Nico’s outreached hand, Ana stood by his side.

“If you think I'd ever love someone after you, then I have failed in showing you how much you mean to me.  Together we have made a family and a happy home.   The time we spent apart did both get to this moment.    I found love in your laugh Elle. And we both know, and remember a time when you didn’t laugh or smile a lot.  But that’s over now, because I’m here, we’re here. It’s just us Elle.  It’s always been us against the world.

You are a loving mother, and you have put Ana first, from the moment you found out about her existence.  Even when I couldn’t see.”

“What are you doing Nico?”

“What I should have done the moment you walked back into my life again.  I love you Elle.  I love everything about you, including the little broken pieces, that somehow heal when we’re together, in both of our hearts.  

Say yes to the next question I’m about to ask you, because I need you to, I want you to, and I believe you might want to, too.”  

Elle’s eyes filled with tears as Nico got on one knee.

“What is your question?”  

“Elle, will you marry me?”

“Yes!”  I will marry you!!!”  

[tinkabelle24]

Mixed Signals

Chapter 1: 'Tis a bit awkward...

A family emergency forces Raph to confront his feelings.

Universe: TMNT (2007)

Relationship/s: Raphael/OC

Tag/s: Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, Awkward Flirting, Banter, Babysitting.

A/N: This story takes place prior to the events of Chapter 9 of my main story, To Build a Home.

TW! No trigger warnings.

---

🎵Roses, I walked in the corner with the body screamin'-🎵

Huh?

It was 3:30 on a Tuesday afternoon; Val was ambling home from her café job when her ‘shell-cell’ suddenly began ringing. Removing her earbud, the brunette retrieved the hot pink Motorola from her purse to check caller ID – it was April.

“Hey, you,” she greeted cheerfully. “How’s it going?”

“Hey, Val...”

Uh oh.

Val frowned as concern promptly took over. “Everything alright?” She enquired, moving aside to clear the walkway. “You sound upset.”

Her friend ummed and ahhed for a few moments, before finally coming out with it: “Are you busy right now...?”

Val shook her head, then mentally slapped herself. She can’t see you, dummy. “No, I’m not busy. What’s up?”

April heaved a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank God... Are you able to watch Tyler for a few hours? Casey's had an accident at hockey practice - he’s in the hospital.”

The brunette’s eyes grew wide. “Shit! Yes, of course, I’ll help. I’ll be right over.”

Hope Tyler doesn’t mind the smell of coffee...

---

“That was fast!” April exclaimed as she let Val inside. Glimpsing the latter’s coffee-stained uniform and apron over her forearm, the redhead visibly deflated. “Did you just get off work?”

Val waved her off with a smile. “Don’t worry about it. Seriously.” She reassured. “I wanna help.”

The brunette took a moment to admire the apartment, again. She'd visited once before (when they had their cocktail night. April loved her Cosmos; perhaps a little too much...), but she couldn't get over how big and beautiful it was. It had the mid-century modern feel she aspired to interpret in her own home one day.

“I’m so sorry about the mess,” April tittered nervously as she scrambled to gather her things. “I haven’t had time to clean up.”

What mess? A few dirty dishes in the sink, crumbs on the table, toys on the floor... It looked like a lived-in space – cosy, not messy. Not sterile and boring - like hers.

"April, it’s fine.” Val insisted gently.

A flash of colour drew her toward the living area. She finally spotted a familiar mane of jet-black hair dancing about in front of the television. It was April and Casey’s 3-year-old son, Tyler, watching what she assumed was ‘Toy Story’.

He must've sensed her presence as he suddenly whipped around to face her, eyes wide with shock. He dove face-first into the sofa.

Val giggled softly. She didn't expect him to recognise her; he was often already asleep whenever she visited the Lair.

Setting her purse and apron on the table, she slowly approached the youngster, kneeling to his level. “Hey, Ty,” she greeted, tilting her gaze to meet his. He grinned bashfully, raising a finger to point at her.

"My name’s Valerie,” she smiled, gesturing to herself. “Do you remember me?"

Tyler shook his head, still grinning.

“That’s okay. Your mommy’s gotta go out for a little bit, so you and me can hang out, if you like? Is that okay?”

“Uncle Raph will be here soon, too!” April chimed in, obviously exaggerating her excitement. Val fought to keep the rush of heat from her cheeks as she turned to face the redhead; she'd not realised he would be coming...

April gave an apologetic look. “I’ve asked Raph to come relieve you once he can get out here – around 5:30- 6-ish. He knows Ty’s routine... I’m sorry, I should’ve told you, what with everything going on...”

“Don’t be silly,” the brunette smiled, shaking her head. “Whatever’s easiest for you guys... Go look after your hubby; we’ll sort it out. If I run into any trouble before then, I’ll just give Raph a call.”

April, who was looking on the verge of a panic attack, finally relaxed. “Thank you... Uh, so he’s in training underwear; he just went to the bathroom, so he should be good for another half hour or so... There’s stuff for spaghetti in the kitchen... Um, the bathroom’s down-”

“-April,” Val interjected, voice low and commanding. “We’ll be fine – go!”

“Alright, alright! I’m going...” the redhead knelt to give her son a quick kiss and cuddle. “I love you, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow... You be good for Valerie and Uncle Raph, okay? Okay, bye...” She pulled Val into a tight hug. “Thanks, again, Val.”

“Bye, mommy!” Tyler called. “Have a good day!”

So cute!

“Bye, baby!” With that, April was out the door.

Val finally turned back to the youngster, whose eyes were once again glued to the screen. “Can I sit with you?” She asked, petting the seat beside him.

“Yes,” Tyler replied, nodding enthusiastically.

“Is this Toy Story?” She asked, gesturing to the screen.

“Yes.” He nodded again, before holding up three fingers. “It’s number three!”

“Very good! Is number three your favourite movie?”

“Yes!” His grin grew ear-to-ear as he nodded a third time.

Val gasped. “Mine, too!” She exclaimed excitedly. “Who's your favourite toy?”

The raven-haired boy abruptly pushed away from his seat to strike a power pose. “Buzz Lightyear, to the rescue!” Shooting a fist into the air, he proceeded to ‘fly’ about the living room.

Val laughed. “Buzz is super cool, isn’t he?”

“Yes!” Tyler cheered, jumping up and down. “Super cool!”

Their conversation continued similarly until the film’s conclusion. After a successful bathroom break, Val decided it was time to fix dinner. She was gathering the necessary ingredients when her 'shell-cell' chimed, notifying her of an incoming text message.

To her surprise, it was from Leo.

That’s weird; he rarely talks to me on here...

[Hey, Raph is on his way now. Are you okay?]

Val frowned at the screen, anxiety setting in. First April, now Leo. It wasn't that obvious... was it?

The brunette’s fingers hovered over the keypad for what felt like forever, mentally drafting one response after another. She eventually settled on:

[Hey, Leo. Thanks for the heads up, and for checking in. I’m fine. Enjoy your evening. :)]

‘Fine’? You used the word ‘fine’??

Please be ignorant to the female code...

[Okay... Well, we'll see you Thursday, then. Get home safe.]

You're an idiot.

Tyler accompanied her at the kitchen counter, eagerly presenting her his vast collection of Hot Wheelz monster trucks. "This one is named Megalodon - chomp, chomp!"

“Oh, no! Ahhh!” The brunette cried, carefully setting the knife down to nurse her ‘offended’ arm. “You got me! I’ve got one arm, now! How am I supposed to make dinner with only one arm?”

Tyler giggled. “You have two arms, silly! See – one, two.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re right! I’m all fixed now-”

A sudden sliding sound drew Val’s attention to the window. Her breath hitched – it was Raph, climbing inside.

“Uncle!”

“Hey, bud!” The terrapin crouched to greet the youngster, biceps flexing as he scooped him into his arms. “How’s it goin’? Aw, nice! Is that a shark truck? Megalodon? Very cool... Hey, Val.”

“Hey.” Val gave a small smile, still a touch distracted by the sweet interaction and - let's not bullshit ourselves - the handsome hunk of man before her.

I hope I don't smell...

“How’ve you been?”

“Yeah, good.” Raph replied simply, returning Tyler to his feet before mussing his hair. Unsure as to what level of physical interaction he was currently comfortable with, she let him make the first move.

The terrapin approached; convinced he was about to hug her (their usual greeting), Val took a tentative step forward.

Imagine her embarrassment when he paused at the kitchen’s entrance - several feet away.

Their relationship took an unforeseen turn the day they got a little too close...

Raph remained professional regarding their training but essentially washed his hands of the more ‘intimate’ manoeuvres; he started subbing April in for those, whenever she was around. Val tried not to take it personally; it was awkward for them both.

What tipped her off was their more quotidian interactions.

Before, they'd text regularly (mostly GIFS; they were easier for his larger digits); she held fondly to his daily ‘Forest Gump wave’ or Joey’s ‘how ya doin’?’. The past couple weeks have been nothing but [Hey, u free this Thurs/Sun?], [See u at X time] or [Have a good day].

Not one GIF.

One of her favourite aspects of their relationship was their banter. His smartassery rivalled hers, so witty arguments became a regular thing for them (admittedly, she often used this as an excuse to shamelessly flirt with him).

Well, it all but dissipated; replaced often by grunts or one-worded answers. She stopped engaging him in this way after a few failed attempts.

“I’m fine,” was his answer whenever she asked. A bullshit excuse (she'd know), but she didn't want to risk pissing him off by asking the same question one too many times.

Palm resting atop the counter, Raph peered over at the ingredients on the cutting board, then the pot of simmering water on the stove. “Whatcha makin’?”

“Hm? Oh, uh...” The brunette averted her gaze to conceal her embarrassment. “April left stuff out for spaghetti, so I’m just making that...”

“Okay.” She could feel his gaze burning into her. “Well... I can take it from here, if ya need to go...”

Val's tongue shot to the wall of her mouth as she stifled a scoff.

C'mon, Raph, I'm a big girl; if you want me to leave, then just fucking say it.

"Okay, then," she murmured; struggling to hide the venom in her tone as she pushed away from the counter to wash her hands. "I'll put the pasta in before I go; all that'll be left for you to do is the sauce. Everything's already cut up - shouldn't be too hard."

When she finally turned away from the sink, he was still staring at her; now, with a very crowded forehead. "You're upset."

You reckon??

"I'm not having this conversation with you right now, Raph-" She nodded to the youngster on the living room rug, playing with his trucks. "Not in front of him."

The terrapin compressed his lips, nodding stiffly. "Fair enough..."

"I'll just grab my stuff, then..." Returning the dishtowel to its usual spot over the oven handle, Val proceeded past Raph (giving as wide a berth as possible) toward the dining table. "H-hey, Ty?"

Tyler's head snapped up at his name, turning to her quizzically.

The brunette smiled apologetically as she knelt before him, purse and apron in hand. "I'm gonna get going now, okay? Uncle Raph is gonna stay here with you. I really enjoyed playing with you tonight; could we do it again, sometime?"

Tyler pouted; dark eyes glistening as he slowly turned Megalodon in his hands. "Why...?"

"Cos I've gotta get back to my own house, now - I need to water all my plants." She reached out to gently nudge his chin up. "We'll see each other again, soon, okay? I promise."

Shooting Raph one last side glance, Val slung her purse over her shoulder as she stood, then turned for the front door. She barely made it a step before a pair of little arms seized one of her legs, halting her in her tracks.

Raph's eyes widened as he stepped forward. "Ty, c'mon, bud-"

"No!" The youngster clung to her for dear life. "I want you to stay!"

"Ty..." Val began stroking his soft locks, in an effort to soothe him. "It's okay-"

"Stay!"

Unsure what else to do, the brunette finally looked to Raph for guidance. She could stay, but she didn't want to be where she wasn't wanted.

She needed him to say it.

"I'm jealous," he remarked, with a half-mustered chuckle. "He didn't take to me that easily... You can stay, if ya want." Her dispirited expression must've been enough for him to realise that was the incorrect diction, as he rephrased. "... Please, stay."

There it was.

Val exhaled shakily as she lowered her gaze to Tyler, whose little face was still squashed against her hip. "Okay, okay - I'll stay." She murmured, petting his head gently before kneeling to his level. "Can you show me where the knives and forks are? You can help me set the table, if you like?"

This is gonna be a looong freaking night...

---

After an incredibly awkward sit-down dinner (fueled by a an embarrassing number of stolen glances, and a fussy child refusing to eat the not-so-hidden vegetables), the adults agreed to divy up responsibilities to make Tyler's bedtime routine run smoother.

"I can do these," Valerie took Raph's plate and cutlery from his clutches; separating them, then setting them atop the others along her forearm. "Should we get Ty into the bath now? It's almost seven."

Nodding, the terrapin peered across the room at Tyler; who'd snuck out of his seat to resume playing with his trucks. "Sure... Hey, Ty? Bath time, bud. Leave your trucks, please; you know your mom doesn't want you playin' with them in the bath - it chips the bottom."

"Need me to get his pyjamas, or-?"

"Nah, we're good."

"Alright, then..." Val trailed off as the pair disappeared upstairs, leaving her in relative peace with a sinkful of soiled dishes.

Right, let's get 'er done.

---

Tyler was still in the bath by the time Val finished up; judging by the frenzied splashing and echoey voices.

Intrigued, the brunette climbed the floating staircase; craning her neck in a vain attempt to peek inside the cracked bathroom door.

"Ready? Here it comes..."

Her ears pricked up at Raph's voice; finally unburdened by the lump that plagued his voice box the past couple weeks. As she stepped onto the landing, she heard him suck in a breath, then a shrill squeal pierced her eardrum, making her wince.

Pushing open the door, Val found Raph crouched in front of the tub, blowing bubbles out of the foamy circle he fashioned from his fingers.

Tyler was having an absolute ball. Her heart swelled at the sight.

"Bubbles!" He giggled, reaching up on his tip-toes to catch them all. "So fun!"

A low rumble emanated from Raph's chest as the closest thing to a smile she'd seen in weeks crossed his lips. "Yeah, so much fun!" As he lathered up his hands for another round, he finally caught her creeping into the room. "Oh, I'd be careful; it's a bit-"

The heel of Val's boot suddenly caught the edge of a small puddle, sending the offended leg sliding along the tiles. Raph whipped around, clutching her arm as her other leg collapsed beneath her.

Grip slipping, the terrapin instinctively snatched her waist. He braced himself against the tub as she fell, catching her just before she hit the ground.

"Thanks..." she tittered, face as red as his mask as she weakly pushed against his grip. Realising he was still holding her, he quickly let go.

Readjusting her uniform, the brunette found her shirt covered in wet, soapy, three-fingered handprints. "At least now I smell better, heh..." she quipped, with a tentative smile.

Coffee grounds or no, you smell beautiful to me...

"Are you okay??" Tyler's eyes darted between the pair.

"Yeah, Ty..." Val reassured, avoiding Raph's gaze. "We're okay, thank you for asking... Are you ready to hop out, now, or what? You're lookin' pretty pruney."

---

"Alright, what've we got... Pull-up?"

"Check."

"Socks?"

"Check."

"How many feet have ya got?"

"Two!"

"That's right! I'm havin' trouble countin'; can ya count with me? One... five?"

"Two, silly!"

"Oh, sorry! Now, pants?"

"Check!"

"Shirt?"

"Check!"

"Where's Ty? ... Where is he- there he is!"

Val giggled softly as she watched the pair play, from Tyler's bedroom door.

He's so good with him...

I wonder-

No!

Nope.

Don't even go there, Valerie.

"Pete the Cat!"

Another squeal snapped her out of her reverie. Lifting her gaze from the floor, the brunette hummed quizzically.

"I'm tryna get him to read somethin' other than what he always reads," Raph explained. If he had hair, he'd be deepening his widow's peak with all the forehead rubbing he was doing.

"Pete the Cat!" Tyler insisted, attempting to push said book into the terrapin's unwilling hands. "Pete the Cat, Pete the Cat, Pete the Cat-!"

"What do ya need to say, Tyler?" Raph jammed his hands onto his hips as he fixed the youngster a stern look.

Ooh, Uncle Raphie means business!

"Please..."

"Pardon?"

"Please."

"That's better... Look, bud, you can't just bark orders at people - it's not nice. Come sit down, please... under the blankets. Thattaboy."

"Does he get you to read that one each time you babysit?" Val enquired, nodding to the opened book in his lap.

Raph groaned softly in affirmation. "Without fail," he answered. "He's been doin' it to his mom and dad as well; six months straight, he's asked for it. You wonder why a man drinks..."

"I can read it, if you like?" She offered, setting that last comment aside for later. She often wondered why he was the only sober one, whenever everyone got together...

Raph looked up at her; his eyes were screaming "yes!", but his lips said:

"Nah, it's alright - I've got this."

"No, do it prop-ley!" Tyler insisted, flipping the page back to the previous one. He wanted Raph to sing the words "like you're s'posed to", but it appeared the terrapin was too flustered to comply.

"I told ya, Ty - I ain't singin'. You can sing, if ya want."

The youngster harrumphed as he slumped back, shooting Raph the deadliest side-eye Val had ever seen.

"C'mon," the brunette giggled, motioning for the pair to scoot over so she could sit down. "I'll sing, Ty... But, you've gotta sing it with me. I don't know the words, so I'll need your help... Promise?"

Tyler nodded enthusiastically as they pinkie-swore; she caught Raph giving her that look, again.

She ignored it, again.

"Pete the Cat was walkin' down the street in his brand new white shoes. Pete loved his white shoes so much, he sang this song..." She nudged Tyler gently. "You ready?"

🎵"I love my white shoes, I love my white shoes, I love my white shoes, I love my white shoes..."🎵

---

"What the heck was that sorcery?? You got him singin' the whole thing by himself??"

"I have two much younger siblings, Raph," Val smugly whispered back. "I'm a professional, at this point."

"Mmhm, and a humble one at that."

"Jealousy's not a good look on you."

Raph quirked a mischievous brow ridge. "Are you implyin' I have a good look?" He teased as they sauntered down to the main floor.

"You're dreamin', buddy," the brunette retorted, playfully rolling her eyes.

Raph paused at the foot of the stairs, the dreaded lump ballooning in his oesophagus as he watched her walk ahead to collect her belongings. Whiffing her citrusy sweet perfume, he had to clamp his hands together to keep from demonstrating his true feelings...

"So, I'll see you Thursday, then?" Val enquired. "Same time? ... Any requests for movie night snacks?"

"Uhhh..."

"Other than the usual, that is."

"Nope, no..." The terrapin shook his head slowly. Terrified she might disappear if he did so, he refused to blink; though his poor eyes screamed for it. "...I think we're good."

"Okay, then..." The brunette eyed him warily as she retrieved her regular phone from her purse, opening the rideshare app. "Well, if you think of anything, could you let me know by knock-off tomorrow? I'll be stopping by the supermarket on my way home-"

"Would you like to stay, till Case and April get back?"

Val blinked, taken aback. "I-I'm sorry?"

Real smooth, Raph...

After a long, unsteady breath, Raph reiterated, "I was wonderin' if you'd like to stay, till Case and April get back..." He then gestured toward the living room. "There's a show I've been itchin' to watch for a while now - would ya like to watch it with me?" When she hesitated, he sweetened the deal. "It's got zombies...?"

At that, a small smile tugged at her lips as she chuckled, shaking her head.

She needn't say a thing.

He knew he'd won her over.

@happymoonangel @miss-andromeda @android-cap-007

---

Chapter 2

[romanarose]

For the Longest Time: Chapter 8 Part 2

William Miller x Fem!OC (Lorelei Giang)

Masterlist : Triple Frontier Masterlist :Playlist

Join my taglist!

Summary: Bickering and THEN FUCKING!

Warnings: Bickering, Lorelei's issues WIIIIIIITH: Body image, her body count, her daddy and mommy issues, racist white men, military men, generational trauma, implied horrors committed during the vietnam war, trust issues. Will issues wiiiiiiith horrific child abuse, OCD, Benny, his back! Benny's issues wiiiith bulimia, ALICE. FUCKING. PIV sex, blowjob, dick so big it kinda hurts, lil cock waming, smooching smooching smooching, aftercare.

A/N: Okay now chapter 8 is fucking done. I cannot fucking wait for chapter 9 bc it's gonna be SO FUCCCCCCCKING DRAMATIC. We fianlly will get the full scope of what Alice is doing to our dear Benny and why Benny isnt himself.

**************

Lorelei packed her things in the hotel room in a fury, hobbling around in bare feet but still wearing her dress. She wanted out, she wanted to go home. 

After she had cried out all her tears on Frankie’s chest, he guided her over the table, his arm fast around her still. For a moment she worried Jana would be suspicious of her, but Jana wasn’t a jealous woman. She took a napkin, dipping it in water and stood to wipe off the make-up that had smeared. 

“I think I’m gonna just go to my room…” Lorelei mutters with a sniffle. Jana stands up and puts her flats back on.

“I’ll come with.”

“No, thank you.” She shook her head, gathering her things but not looking at either of them. “I’m just gonna go home. Thank you, both of you.” And she meant it. Lorelei left, heading out of the ballroom and around the maze of the fancy hotel until she found her room again.

Lorelei wasn’t sure what she wanted, she wasn’t sure why she was so goddamn mad. Maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was the frustration of a long night, worry for Ben, anger at Alice for what she’s doing to him and things she’s said to Laci. Maybe she was just tired. Or maybe she was struggling with the fact that when she allowed herself to fall into him, the vulnerability was betrayed. She felt bad that she didn’t ask what Will saw, and that she didn’t follow him to confront Benjamin and Alice, but she was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to carry that much further.

“Lore? What are you doing?” Will’s voice was soft and cautious as he entered the room. Lorelei kept her back to him, shoving her clothes into her bag. 

“I’m going home, Will.”

There was a pause. “...To Philly?”

Lorelei stopped, hanging her head and sighing before she turned around to face him. “No, William. That’s not my home. I’m gonna call a taxi back to town, you stay here and sleep outside Ben’s door or something, I don’t care.” She turned back to her work, trying to keep her make-up and skin care organized still.

“Lorelei, I’m sorry for leaving you on the dance floor, I am, Fish already chewed me out.”

“I get it. It’s fine. Ben or more important to you than me, that makes sense.”

“Baby, what are you-”

She was practically shoving things in her bag now, anger making her less organized. “He’s family. Chloe’s family. I’m just here to help you fulfill your dreams of fatherhood, although you parent Ben enough I don’t how much time you’ll have for her.”

“Don’t say-”

Lorelei didn’t mean a word she said, but the words poured out of her uncontrollably. “He’s your brother, I’m just some bitch you came inside.”

“Lore!” Will strode over to where she was, gently turning her to take a look at him, finding tears in her eyes as she gazed up. “Don’t you ever talk about yourself like that. Ever. You understand me? Do you really think when we had sex, it meant nothing to me? Lorelei Giang, I have wanted you since the day I met you, you know how disappointed I was when Ben said you had a boyfriend? Every time, every fucking time I ran into you, I ran those scenes through my head for hours, trying to memorize all the details because that is all I thought I’d have.” His face is earnest, pleading, begging her to understand what she meant to him. “What we shared that night was something beautiful, Lorelei, and out of it came our daughter, out of it came our friendship. Our friendship is something I value, but Lore, you’re crazy if you think that’s all I want.”

She was unsure how to take his words, standing there with his hand on her shoulder still. She took a step back, letting his hand drop. “What do you want, William?”

He sighed, exasperated. “I want you, Lorelei, why is that so hard for you to understand?”

“I have no doubt you want me,” She emphasized, crossing her arms and putting that symbolic barrier up. “That’s not the point. You think I don’t want you? You think that I haven’t gotten myself off to the memory of that night 100 times? You think I could watch you take care of Rosie, watch how you love your friends, see you smile and laugh and protect me and look so goddamn tall doing it and NOT fall in love with you?”

Her words fell heavy in the air, tension and frustration and love and longing all swirling around, suffocating the room.

“You love me?” Will asked, quiet and hesitant.

Lorelei threw up her hands. “Of course I do, William! Have you any idea what it's like to live with you every day and see the kind of man you are and not fucking suck your dick about it?” 

Will blinked in confusion for a moment before his brain caught up. “They whyyyy aren’t we together?”

“I DON’T KNOW!”

Will watched her for a moment, as beautiful as ever in her red dress, even though most of her make up was off. Perfection. 

“Lore… I know you’ve been hurt real bad. I know your dads, Tyler, all the men in your life have failed you none fucking stop, but-”

“But what? You’re different? You’d be better? You’d never kick me out or hit me r call me a whore-”

“YES!”

“Do you have any idea the amount of men I’ve slept with, Will?”

“I don’t care, I really don’t.”

She threw up her hands. “I’m 34, only a few relationships in my life, several men  per year, several per month sometimes-”

Gentle, Will stepped up, gathering both of her hands into his. When she didn’t pull away, he brought them to his lips, kissing the knuckles as he looked down at her. After pause, he spoke quietly. “Why are you telling me this.”

The tears were hot down her face, streaming down heavily. Lorelei looked up at Will, his kind eyes willing and open. It all came out. “Because you don’t love me, men don’t love me. They want me. They want to fuck me, and that’s fine, I like to fuck but they always think they can change me. Men, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but especially white men and military men,” Will was both. “See asian women a certain way. They think we’re submissive, quiet, virginial. You ever watch 90-Day Fiance? The amount of men that seek out women from Asia, like the Philpines, they always say creepy as shit about what they want in a woman, and they are sorely fucking dissapointed when they realiz we are real fucking people not a fuck doll that cooks for you!”

Still holding her hands, bringing them to this chest, he made sure the grip wasn’t tight. He didn’t want her to feel trapped, like he’d hold her there. He’d never force her to do anything or stay anywhere she did not want. “Princess, do you think I think that way? Do you think I don’t see you as a person?” He tried not to sound offended, like it was a personal attack. While he knew he wasn’t the sort of man she was describing, and he hoped she didn’t see him that way, he knew that she lived an experience he would never fully understand. The best he could do was listen, and not be on the defense.

Lorelei shook her head, “No, I don’t think you are… it’s just… I’m Vietnamese, Will. Do you have any idea what happened to Vietnamese woman when American soldiers came?”

Will could feel his skin grow hot. He did know, he knows that sexual abuse of women in general by military men but especially the native women in foreign wars was a massive fucking problem, and he knew the Vietnam war was some of the worst out there. He knew that that sort of generational trauma would not just go away by him being nice.

“I’m not saying you’re like that-”

“I get it.” Will reassured. “I understand, I’ve heard and delt with men in my tropes that talked about wanting to get stationed in South Korea or other Asian bases. And for what it’s worth, which I know isn’t a lot, I’m really fucking sorry you have felt this way you’re whole life.” It all made sense. Her being sexualized her whole life, the push to be submissive, which is a word Will would never describe her as, nor would she want to. The abuse from her step-dad, abandonment from her bio dad… it was a miracle that she came out of it all as well adjusted as she was. Will was so fucking proud of her.

Lorelei sniffles, calming down more in Will’s firm touch. “It’s not just that. My mom and step-dad didn’t help, always making me feel like my worth was tied to my looks when I have so much more to offer.”

“You do, you are so fucking wonderful, Lorelei.” He let go of her hands and for a moment she lamented the loss, but was quickly comforted by a strong, bear hug, ever-careful of the swell of her stomach. “I understand why you’re hesitant to get back in a relationship. I understand if you don’t want to be with me, now or ever.” Will took her face in his hands, guiding her to look up at him. Her he loved her dark eyes, the way her face was full as she gained weight, he loved her thick, strong hair and those creases between her eyebrows and on her forehead from frowning. He loved her. “But I swear to you, Lorelei, I love you exactly as you are. I don’t need nor want whatever version other men have tried to force you into, I don’t love you because you are the mother of my children, I don’t want you to look or act any way other than yourself. I love you in all your badass, take-no-shit, sweet-as-pie, caretaking, punch-your-stupid-ex-until-he-lost-a-tooth” Lore giggled at that, making Will smile. “Pin-up model, strong-as-hell, James-Dean-loving, sexy-as-shit madness.”

He kissed her forehead. He kissed her nose.

Lorelei pulled on his tie and to her lips, kissing him hard, passionate and wet.

Their first kiss.

Will returned it with no hesitation, opening his mouth to her and wrapping her up in his strong grasp. He’s intoxicating, swallowing up her insecurities, her fears, her tongue, all in a desperate pursuit for Will to make her feel like she’s worthy, like she’s safe. Will explores every inch of her mouth, the chip in the the moller from her brother putting pebbles in her food, the snaggled canine and her uneven front teeth from her never wearing her retainer since the week she got her braces off. The faint taste of red lipstick.

He tries to pull away, but is still desperate to be close that Will keeps his lips pressed against hers.  “What does this mean?” He pants, “for us?”

“It’s means I wanna fuck you.” She pulls him close by his belt, feeling a hardening bulge against her swollen belly.

“Lorelei.”  His breath was hot against her skin, voice strained like it was taking everything in him not to fuck her into the mattress right then and there.

“It means…” She goes for his belt buckle, desparate and needy and so goddamn horny for him, having fuck no one but a vibrator in months, and that was getting more and more difficult. “That I want to be with you, Will, if you’ll be patient.”

“I will.” The belt slide off.

Next, she went for the maroon sports coat. “And you’ll call me out when I’m being a brat.”

She felt him smirk against her before going back to kissing, and undoing the corset top with a little tug. “I always do.”

Her touch slowed, just a bit as Lorelei’s voice dropped an octave. More gentle. “And will you let me take care of you, so you don’t gotta carry everything on your shoulders?”

His touch slowed in time with hers, the kisses less frantic, less consuming. Taking their time. “Y-” Will stops, almost like he’s hesitating in the promise. He swallows thickly. “yes…” He slowly unlaced the dress, fingers warm against her skin.

Lorelei begins unbuttoning his shirt, but stops when she remembers. Shirt stays on. “Sorry” She whispers, and begins to rebutton what she did, resting her forehead on the peak of his chest still exposed. “Sorry…”

Will’s hands stopped her fingers. She looked up at him. Will wanted her, he wanted her fully and she’d shown him so many harsh parts of herself… but this was something he needed time for. It had taken a long time before he was comfortable with Emily seeing this.

“Just… don’t touch my back, okay?” A compromise. A start.

“Okay.” Lorelei nodded and whispered, continuing to unbutton. “You can take off my dress.” She knew he’d want permission before making a move like that. Shaking fingers on her shoulders, sliding down her arms and over the floral tattoo on the upper half. He pushes the loose dress down gently. She takes on her black panties. Then, her body is exposed fully to him. Although they’d been nearly naked together before, this felt new/ Much more vulnerable. 

“Fucking beautiful.”

Looking in the mirror the last few months, she didn’t feel beautiful. She was growing accustomed with how her body was changing, she was bring a life into the world, for fucks sake. Still, she didn’t feel beautiful. Right now, with Will. She felt fucking sexy.

She went back to unbuttoning him, with every few inches of skin exposed, Lorelei planted kisses on his chest, never breaking contact with his baby blues. Lower, lower still she sunk down as she kissed him, down to the ever so slight swell of a belly. Hitting the gym couldn’t stop the fact he was nearly forty,, and they’d be snacking pretty heavily the last few months. She loved every inch. As she kissed down his happy trail, sinking to her knees and unbuttoning his pants, Will tried to insist she didn’t have too. Yeah, she knew that. But her mouth was fucking watering for it.

It happened slow, it HAD TOO, he was so fucking huge she had to take her time. And Frankie was supposed to be BIGGER? Jesus fucking Christ. As Lorelei swallowed him, lower and lower down his shaft each time, she felt him fully. The hair on his thighs as she licked the salt pre-cum off his tip. The scar, clearly a bullet wound, on his abdomen as she sucked on his balls. Her painted red nails digging into the meat of his ass as she gagged around him, attempting to bury her face in his blonde hairs, but not quite getting there.

It was only when she gagged hard that Will pulled Lorelei off him, slightly in awe as the strong of spit connected from her mouth to his cock. “C’mon, lemme feel you.”

“But I wanna take you all the-”

His large, pale hand found her golden brown face. “We’ll have plenty of time for that later, princess.”

Princess.

She kissed him, hard and passionate and all consuming as she pushed his naked, perfect body to the bed, making him sit. “Need you inside me.”

“Baby, let me open you up first-”

“William Miller.” She took the moment to be taller than him, admittedly still not by much. “I have wanted to fuck you so goddamn bad since the second your dick pulled out of me, and I opened myself up this morning on a massive pink fucking dildo because I am incomprehensibly horny every goddamn day.” Lorelei pinched his cheeks, dark eyes intense. “If you’re not inside me soon, I will literally cry so goddamn hard you have no idea.”

After a beat, Will burst out into bellowing laughter that Lorelei mirrored in giggles, squealing when he picked her up and placed her to straddle over his body. Loreilei knelt on the bed, excitement thrilling her, filling her with electricity that she couldn’t doubt for a second Will was feeling as he smiled up at her. “You know…” She spoke softly, cardingehr fingers through his blonde hair. “Our first time was special…”

“I know.” He matched her soft tone, caressing over her stomach. He loved Lorelei and Chloe with everything in him. “I know…”

“But this?” A kiss on the forehead, adoring the way his fingers squeezed her hips. “This feels like the first time. Our first real time…”

“I know exactly what you mean…” His voice was nothing short of wonder.

Eyes shut tight, Lorelei lined herself up with Will’s cock, gripping his shoulders and resisting the urge to hold onto his back. He was so much, was he always this much? She was definitely swollen, feeling much more sensitive as she slowly took him. Will didn’t pull her down like many men before, instead she realized he was holding her up with his hands under her ass, allowing her to go at her own pace. When she finally took all of him inside her, sighing in relief as she was spread across him.

“Let’s just stay like this for a minute.” William whispered in her ear, playing with her hair. He must have known how overwhelming it felt for her.

She nodded, eyes still closed tight, holding onto him. She felt full, so goddamn full it was unreel, her walls pulsing around him and struggling to adjust.

“I’m gonna touch you, beautiful girl, okay? Gonna make it easier.” While one hand never left her hair, Will’s right hand went between her legs, playing with her clit. Small circles, playing with the pressure until he heard her whimper. “Ah, just like that?” He continued at the pace she seemed to like, wet slick coking his fingertips. It didn’t take long for a small orgasm to take her over, just enough to allow her to relax and provide extra natural lubrication.

Still Will didn’t pressure her to move. Lorelei stayed like that, clinging to him like her rock in the ocean as her orgasm subsided. It was then she opened her eyes. In there frenzy, neither of them had taken note of the mirror right above their headboard. A well-placed mirror was nothing new to Lorelei, but this was not that scenario. She wasn’t admiring hers or a partner's body, she wasn’t using the scene as porn… she was looking at Will’s back.

All across it were lacerations. Broad or small, mangling his skin up and down his back. Whippings if she had to guess. And from his dad was her first guess. He said he was above, he said he hit them… she never could have imagined it was anything like this. She wondered how many of these lashings he’d taken for Benny. 

Slowly, she began moving, up and down on him, tears in her eyes. She couldn’t protect him as a child. She couldn’t protect him as a teen. She wasn’t there to hold him or nurse him back to health. But she’d be there from now on, taking care of him and his racing mind and their precious child.

With his hands on her waist, he aided her as she rode him. Up and down, he filled Lorelei up over and over again, turning her into a moaning mess as he gazed up at her in adoration. She was his everything. His two girls, in his arms at this moment.

“I love you, Will, I fucking love you.” She felt buried in him, just as he buried himself into her cunt, everything that surrounded her was William. Nothing mattered but William. She didn’t need to wonder why her dad left, because Will wouldn’t leave. She didn’t need to wonder why Tyler hit her, because Will would rather die. She didn’t need to wonder why she wasn’t enough for her family because she was enough for him.

“I love you, Lorelei, I love you so goddamn much and I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry this whole time I made you think I didn’t.” His eyes shone with tears, just as hers did. Their faces came crashing together, faces ever-so-slightly wet with a mix of soft tears.

Together, they orgasmed in unison. 

Together.

Will fell backwards on the bed, taking Lorelei with him in his arms. He pulled out carefully, so, so carefully, and even still she whimpered a bit. Will kissed her forehead with an apology, then went to get some things to clean her up. When he walked back, naked and broad, a sun god in all his glory, his stride stuttered a bit at he took note of the mirror.

He didn’t say anything at first. William cleaned between her legs, telling her how good she did, how pretty she was, how much he loved her. Then, after putting her in his sweats and t shirt and pulling pants on himself, Will nudged her exhausted body until her head rested on his lap. There, he did as much of her face routine as he could without a sink. He wiped up all her make-up, then used cotton pads to apply toner. Finally, he took out a serum she brought and her jade roller, dripping it on her face and carefully rolling it.

“So, I assume you saw my back then?”

“Yeah.” Lorelei whispered. “We don’t gotta talk about it.” She sounded sleepy, Will’s touch oh-so soothing. The jade roller felt nice. “I won’t touch your back or anything until you’re ready. Even if that’s never.”

William smiled at her, Lorelei’s loose curls falling all around his lap. “Thank you, princess. I’ll tell you about it, I swear. Just not now.”

“Okay.” Drifting off, she had enough energy to reach up and touch Williams face. “Baby?”

“Hm?” He asked, eyes steady on his work. He didn’t wanna miss any parts, but he didn't want it in her eyes or mouth.

“What happened with Ben?”

Will sighed, putting down the jade roller. He thought back to the moment he left Lorelei. It was stupid, he knew. Not a lot should be able to pull him away from dancing with the love of his life. But when he saw Ben, knuckles bright red and face puffy, he knew the signs. There was no denying it, and he knew it was Alice’s fault, with the comments she’d been making on his eating.

“He’s throwing up again.”

**********************

MAAAAAN THIS IS THE MOST LONGEST SMUT IVE WRITTEN IN A WHILE

I hope this all seemed to flow naturally. I was trying to hit all the points I wanted to ;-;

ANYWAY get ready to dread the next chapter lolololololol

Please let me know how you felt about them getting together <3

@pimosworld @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @whatthefishh @missdictatorme @milkymoon2483 @poeedameronn @itspdameronthings @miraclesabound @babymills16 @rayslittlekitten @kirsteng42

[samcrosfaith]

SUMMER NIGHTS 𝟎𝟑| 𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖐𝖘

Happy Lowman x fem!oc

a/n; I just realized that ia haven't posted chapter three, four and five but six 🤦🏻‍♀️ I'm sorry about that! Here you go. 🤎

tag list; @mamawiggers1980 @elmiramager

CALLIE'S GIGGLES FILLED the living room with warmth, her red hair, which sat in a neat bun on top of her head, looked almost golden under the sunlight that shone through the large window and cast a warm glow on the large carpet.

"Look mommy, he's making noises!" Full of enthusiasm, the three-year-old pulled on a short string that was attached to the dinosaur she was playing with. Shortly afterwards, a mix of a roar and a cooing sound was heard.

"Wow, that's scary!" June put on a frightened look and pretended to be afraid, her hand pressed tightly against her chest. "What kind of things is Daddy buying you?"

"Cool stuff!" When Callie burst into laughter and pulled the string again, June joined in and pulled the three-year-old between her legs with a gentle laugh. "Will you do me a favor and put on your ballet clothes? We have to leave in thirty minutes."

"I can do that", Callie answered enthusiastically as she kept playing with the dinosaurs and a doll. "Is Ally coming too?"

"Ally always comes with us, you know that, baby." June placed a kiss on the top of Callie's head before she sat the girl back down on the carpet and stood up. "And after the dance classes we go to the stores, you girls need new shoes. Does that sound good?"

"Yes!" The dinosaur and the doll immediately flew into the toy box that stood next to the round coffee table while Callie already jumped to her feet. There was pure joy in her eyes as she looked up at her mother. "I love shoes!"

"I know, sweetheart", June replied with a soft chuckle as Callie announced that she was going to change extra quickly and rushed into her room shortly afterwards.

With her hands on her hips, June shook her head in amusement. As soon as her children were around her or she saw one of the two girls happy, she was happy tooᅳ despite the complicated circumstances.

When her phone lit up on the coffee table, June reached for it and sighed to herself when she read the message from her lawyer, whom she had contacted a few days ago about the divorceᅳ just as Happy had wanted.

Lost in her own thoughts, her blue eyes wandered around the room, a room that had changed significantly after June took over the house. Not that there was anything wrong with Jax and Tara's style, but June was someone who wanted to feel at home, someone who needed warmth.

Most of the furniture was in a warm tone. A brown leather couch stood against the white wall, a beige blanket lay folded over one armrest, and orange and yellowish pillows with different prints provided another splash of color.

There were shelves on the walls with old books and plants on them. Different types of Monsteras, Succulents, Peperomiasᅳ anything that looked green and alive actually. On the wall above the dresser on which the tv stood was a large, oval mirror with a delicate gold frame, pictures of various sizes hung around it, giving the wall a nostalgic flair.

Already dressed in a black, long sleeved bodysuit and a black chiffon Ballet skirt with beige silk tights underneath, June snaked her arms around her petite body, probably to comfort herself as she looked at all the pictures with a wistful smile. One right next to the mirror, the largest picture of all, showed Happy with six year old Alanna on his lap while he held a newborn Callie in his other arm, the proudest look on his face.

In the picture next to it, they were all in it, looking like a real familyᅳ which they were. Everyone in the photo was laughing, even Happy. And seeing Happy laugh was one of June's favorite things. There was something about the Tacoma Killer's laugh that could heal all her worries.

The rumor that Happy was a cold-hearted, brutal person who didn't care about anyone was absolutely false. Sure, he was different, maybe even had a sadistic side to him when it came to getting people to talk. And yes, he didn't trust many people and seemed cold and dangerous to strangers. But not when he was around people he cared about.

As soon as Happy felt comfortable, he could even be quite funny and at home, around June and his children, he was like a different person. And that was what June missed the most. The carefree afternoons and evenings they had spent together, whether as a couple or with their children.

Tara had never understood why she had hung the pictures in the first place, after all, the two were no longer a couple and in the doctor's eyes June should've left town to escape the toxic lifestyle. But June didn't want to leave, she didn't want to take her children's father awayᅳ and Charming was her home, whether she was a fan of it or not.

Sighing, she shook off the thought of driving to Happy's and their old house and begging him to just start over. But she couldn't forget the pictures of that one night, even if for others it had been 'only' a kissᅳ for Gemma, for example.

Without answering the message of her lawyer, June put her phone aside and followed the dull rock music that, as so often, came from Alanna's room. Before she opened the door, she knocked twice and only entered when she heard a soft 'come in'. In contrast to her own mother, it was important to June to give her children some privacy.

In order to be able to talk to her daughter, June turned the control of the older stereo system down until the music stopped and a comfortable silence took over.

Just like her, Alanna had a weakness for vintage things and the boho style. A stack of Polaroid pictures lay on the stereo system that Jax had given her when they moved in a few months ago. He actually wanted to throw it away, but when Alanna discovered the stereo system in his garage while clearing out, she wanted it immediately.

Alanna's room, tidy but still a little chaotic, consisted of walls painted a soft yellow, exactly the opposite of Callie's room, which was literally bathed in pink. Pinks walls, pink bedding, even a pink carpet.

There were also plants on dark brown shelves and on the desk in the same color. A find from the flea market that June and Alanna always visited together. A hobby that both of them shared.

The mattress next to Alanna gave in as June sat down next to her and brushed some dark strands of hair from her face, which covered it as she kept her head bowed.

"Why are you still so angry with Dad?", June asked softly, carefully even.

Only a quiet sigh fell from Alanna's lips as she stared at the Polaroid pictures in her hand, memories of the weekend at the lake. A weekend that she had secretly enjoyed but didn't want to admit because she was just as stubborn as her father. Another thing she had inherited from him.

"He just left us", she murmured, and there was so much disappointment and sadness in her voice, so much anger in her words, that June had to swallow softly. "He promised me he would always stay with us and that he would never leave me like my biological mom didᅳ and he didn't keep his promise!"

"Aren't you angry at him anymore at all?" Tears gathered in the nine-year-old's doe-brown eyes, her head snapping up to look at her mother.

June, quite moved by Alanna's words and the little outburst of anger, squeezed her eyes shut to hide her own tears. Seeing your own children suffer was probably the worst thing for a parent.

"Of course I'm still angry", she answered honestly, sincerity but also a certain warmth in her blue eyes as she placed an arm around Alanna's shoulder.  "But you know, sometimes adults primise things that they just can't keep. I know that sounds like a bad excuse, but your dad just wanted the best for us, sweetheart."

Confused, and Alanna had every right to be, she shook her head. "So leaving us alone is the best thing? I don't understand, mom."

"God, you've grown up so much", June said with a wistful smile as the nine-year-old answered as if she were much older already. "What your dad did doesn't make senseᅳ but it made sense to him in that moment. Sometimes we're so blinded by fear that we do stupid things. And that's exactly what happened."

"Well, but if he knows he acted stupid then he can make it up to you, to us!" Despair evident in Alanna's frustrated voice, her lips began to tremble as she threw the pictures on the floor. "I miss him, and I freakin' hate that he just left!"

The moment the nine-year-old burst into tears, allowing her emotions to flow freely for the first time since her parents broke up, she threw herself into June's arms that immediately closed around her body. Sobbing and sniffling, the girl hid her face on June's shoulder.

"I'm here, baby", June whispered, no longer able to hide her own tears. This outburst of emotion came so unexpected that even June was overwhelmed at first. So she decided to just hold Alanna and give her the comfort she needed. "And Dad is always there for you, too, even if he's not here every day. You know you can call him anytime and he'll be here within ten minutes."

"It's not fair that he's not here!" Was all Alanna could choke out before another deep sob burst from her throat and tore June's heart apart.

How could she make a clean cut and draw a final line when she knew that her children missed their father as much as she did?

ᅳ

HAPPY ENTERED THE CLUBHOUSE, his kutte sticking to his back as he wiped the sweat from his forehead, finally surrounded by cooler air instead of the intrusive heat from outside.

It was quiet, most members in their rooms to rest after the exhausting morning and just unwind or let off steam, preferably with a Croweater.

Only Jax sat at the bar, having learned from his mistakes and now knowing better that it was smarter not to cheat on Tara again. But just like Happy, he just wanted to push his Old Lady away to keep her safe. But what worked for June had the exact opposite effect on Tara, the doctor clinging to Jax even more now.

"Hey." Happy sat down on the bar stool next to his brother-in-law and ordered a whiskey from Rat, who was standing behind the bar washing glasses. "You okay?"

"Nah man, everything is threatening to escalate and I just don't know what to do anymore." It was rare that Jax admitted to himself that he was overwhelmed by a situation, that he had no idea how to keep shit running. "The war with the Argent Devils, it's even worse than the one with the Mayans back then."

"Then we have to make sure that their club disappears, we gotta have to wipe them out", Happy answered, downing the glass of whiskey. After the breakup, he had drunk so much of the liquor that he didn't even feel it burn down his throat anymore. "I want my wife back, my kidsᅳ which means the Argent Devils have to go, fast."

"What?" Jax' eyes widened in surprise, his body now turned towards Happy. "You really want my sister back?"

"What do you think?" Letting out a snort-like sound, the SAA shook his head. "That was the plan from the start. As soon as there is no more danger, I'll get my family backᅳ and that has to happen soon before I'll lose them completely."

Happy was silent for a while, as was Jax, who noticed that Happy still had something to say. And Jax gave his brother-in-law the moment, curious to hear Happy's next words.

"June wants a divorce", he grumbled, tapping on the counter to tell Rat to refill his glass. "She gave me the papers three days ago, told me to sign them. Her signature was already on them."

"Shit." Jax ran a hand down his face, scratching his beard in thought. "She never mentioned anything about a divorce. I would've warned you, man, I hope you know that."

Happy just waved it off with a grunt, downing the next glass. "I don't think she told anyone. Maybe Amber, but she would never tell anyone if June wanted her to keep it to herself."

"Probably not, no", the blonde sighed, shaking his head before placing a hand on Happy's shoulder, squeezing it. "I'll talk to her, I wanted to stop by her studio later anyway to see if she's okay."

"Why? Did something happen?" Immediately alarmed, Happy swept around and stared at his Pres.

"Nah, she just had a few problems with Ma. Gemma doesn't want to understand why June wants her to stay away for a few weeks", Jax explained with a slight grin that faded as quickly as it had formed. "June's feeling like shit, man. She's not the same without you, but I know my sisterᅳ if you really want her back, you'll have to try hard. Cheating on herᅳ that's something June can't forgive, she's not Gemma or Tara."

"I didn't even cheat on her and you know that", Happy insisted stubbornly, tapping his glass on the counter. "Another one, Prospect."

"Uh, are you sure?" Rat asked carefully, visibly tense when Happy gave him his famous death glare. "Sorry", he mumbled quickly before he refilled the glass.

Jax just chuckled, amused by the little scene that had just unfolded before he became serious again. "But June doesn't know that you only hired Jenny, that the whole thing was agreed upon and only started when June showed up."

"You think she could forgive me if I explained everything to her?" Dejected, Happy finally drained the newly refilled glass before looking back at Jax. "You know that I'd never actually cheat on your sister. June was and still is the only one for me."

"I know that, bro, you don't have to tell me that." With a slap against Happy's shoulder blade, Jax folded his arms on the counter and stared at his beer with a frown. "And June actually knows it too. To this day she still can't believe that you really did it. So yeah, I think if you explain everything to her there's a chance that she might forgive you."

"I fuckin' hope so", Happy sighed deeply, rubbing both hands over his exhausted face before he stood up.

"Where are you going?" Jax wanted to know, his eyebrows drawn together in curiosity.

"Tell your mom to give June the space she needs", Happy explained as he was already on his way towards the door and shortly afterwards crossed the lot to get to the workshop's office.

He may have had a lot of respect for Gemma, but he had more respect for his wife, whose well-being was more important to him. And if she didn't have the nerves for Gemma right now, he would take care of it.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

[multipost]

Terf/transphobia discourse:

1. Sorry but sorry but terfs SHOULD feel unwelcome in hobby spaces the same way racists, homophobes and sexists should. This hobby is for everyone whether they like it or not. Unfortunately plenty of people who fit the description are very comfortable in this hobby and don’t face consequences for being shitty people. That doesn’t mean others are turning a blind eye.

~Anonymous

2. "Can people stop ganging up on G3an/Alyssvm/C@nticle/0neMoreLight? they're just an uwu baby gay who did nothing wrong everyone who disagrees with them is an old freak" yeah nah as an old queer I don't want baby terflings in the community. Fuck off tenderqueer, we didn't die for you to turn around and parrot the same conservative bullshit at us all over again a few decades later. Prejudice against our own fucking community doesn't magically become valid just because it's wearing a rainbow hat.

~Anonymous

3. the person who said people can’t call out gean/onemorelight/etc for being a terf because she’s a young lesbian and thus it’s ‘punching down’ are hysterical. She’s a spoilt rich white terf who buys multiple $1000 v0lks dolls on her parents dime. At least look up the meaning of ‘punching down’ because holy shit that ain’t it. People aren’t even ‘bullying’, they’re rightfully calling her out, not that terfs can tell the difference. ‘Punching down’ LMFAO.

~Anonymous

4. ‘uwu you can’t be mean to a terf if you’re over 30 it’s bullying’ oh ok so once I reach a certain age I’m supposed to just turn off my empathy for the young trans hobbyists literally scared to even post in the hobby spaces 0nemorelight/Em1l is active in. That’s fine and normal. Totally cool for -actual minors- to have confessed to me the they feel bullied out of hobby spaces because of terf bigotry but pointing this out is bullying! Get bent. I’ll be the voice of those too afraid to speak.

~Anonymous

5. Sorry but I’m not going to stop holding G3an/Alyssvm/C@nticle/0neMoreLight/Emil (you forgot a name!) accountable (which isn’t bullying) just because she’s an uwu smol lesbean. And not only just because she’s a terf, which is ideas that should never be welcome in inclusive hobby spaces. It’s also because she’s rude, unpleasant, loves the sound of her voice (or look of her text) too much while ignoring everyone else, self-centered and spoilt. Her self centered and entitled attitude is probably due to how much her parents spoil her - pretty much every expensive v0lks doll she owns was paid for by her rich mommy and daddy (and she seems to get new ones every other month).   Gean, maybe instead of smugly reblogging confessions about you and taking pride in being an unlikeable little shit you start to think about why people are uncomfortable with you, why people are hurt by you, and what is provoking these reactions. Work on your attitude because the whole ‘heehee everyone hates me xD!’ thing you’re doing is beyond cringe and just proves you think you’re better than everyone else. You being ‘young and queer’ doesn’t absolve you of anything. Take responsibility for the shit you say and do instead of hiding behind the ‘I’m literally a queer (almost) minor how dare anyone be mean you’re a bully?!?!’ shit. You’re an adult and I and the others who are done with your hurtful BS are treating you like one.

~Anonymous

6.  Friendly reminder that G3an/Alyssvm/C@nticle/catwithpizza (AKA Onemorelight on DOA and Emil on DollDreaming) bullied and harassed the user formerly known as Ruin-Lilien/SayosBox (not giving their current username for obvious reasons) out of the hobby by relentlessly attacking them for being a pedophile and accusing them of horrific things over literally nothing (their MDD that was their own ADULT OC), so it’s pretty damn funny to see her crying about being ‘bullied’ now (called out. Not bullying).

(By the way, accusing every second person of being a pedophile while all your icons on discord are underage characters from eroge (anime porn games) is also pretty funny.）

~Anonymous

7. I think "This BJD person is a terf" is different from just "Ugh TERFS fucking suck, I just hate them so bad." Are two completely different topics on this blog, though both are very valid. 1) Makes sense to confess on a doll blog. 2) Not so much, it's just a general statement about how much terfs suck, but has literally no relation to dolls. You can't even argue that you know who to support, bc it's an anon confession, so you can't even support the anti-terf confession.

~Anonymous

[jobrookekarev]

So I Showed up on Your Doorstep

Chapter Six of Nine: The only thing I wanna do, Is make it up to you.

Words: 4,729

Summary: Jo and Alex finally talk and lay their hearts out to each other. 

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson, and Jo Wilson/OC. 

Characters: Alex Karev, Jo Wilson, Luna Ashton-Wilson, Izzie Stevens, Alexis Stevens, and Eli Stevens. 

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences. 

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Bruising, Porch Swing, Toddlers, Soft! 

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: Special thanks to @Iamtrebleclefstories for help with this chapter a few months ago. Leya wrote a couple of lines in the dialogue between Alex and Jo, and I’m really thankful for her help on this.

Also sorry for the late posting. It's been a long week.

…………………………………………………………………… 

“The brown one is named Misty, and the tan one is named Sally, and the other one is named Bailey. She's all black and she's really bossy!” Alexis said, counting the horses on her fingers as she described them to Luna. 

“‘orsey,” Luna said, and the girls shared a giggle as Jo wiggled the boot onto her little foot.

They were sitting in the entryway, putting on their boots. As Izzie was getting ready to take them to see the horses. Jo was a little nervous about Luna going to see such a big animal, but the farmer, William, reassured her that the horses were sweet as honey and wouldn't hurt a fly. Plus, Izzie would be with her the entire time.

“Bailey, now who came up with that name?” Jo asked with a smirk as she zipped up the zipper on Luna’s boots. She was once again borrowing a pair of Alexis's old boots.

“Mommy named that one. She said it was named after her mentor,” Alexis said with a smile as she slipped on her cowgirl boots.

“It seemed fitting,” Izzie said with a smile as she finished putting on her own boots. “Okay, is everyone ready? Where’s Eli?”

“Coming,” Eli said, running down the stairs with Alex hot on his heels. “I couldn't find my favorite cowboy boots, so Daddy was helping me look for them.”

“They were in the toy bin, of course,” Alex said, with a shake of his head and a laugh.

“Alright, let's go,” Alexis said, running out the front door as all of the kids got up. 

Luna quickly got up and turned to run after her before Izzie scooped her up and settled her on her hip. “Hold your horses, Luna. Let's say goodbye to your Mama.”

“Have a good time, baby,” Jo said, handing her over to Izzie and adjusting the knitted hat on her head that was out of place in the early spring heat, but Luna insisted on it.

“No, you have to come with us!” Alexis insisted, running back when she saw no one was following her.

“Yeah Jo, please come. You gotta see the chickens, especially Zoe,” Eli said, referring to the black and white spotted chicken and Jo’s least favorite.

“Oh no, I guess you'll just have to see Zoe without me,” Jo said, not looking the least bit disappointed as she ruffled Eli’s hair. “Besides, I see the chickens with you guys every day. I'll see them with you tomorrow, I promise.” 

Alexis and Eli nodded but hung their heads as they walked out the door. Both of the twins had become so attached to Jo and Luna in the past few days. They never wanted to do anything without either of them.

“Okay Luna, are you ready to go see the horses? Yes, let’s go see the horses,” Izzie said as she cooed at Luna and walked out of the house. “Say, bye-bye to Mama, bye-bye.”

“Bye-bye, my Little Moon, have fun,” Jo said as she waved Luna and Izzie off, watching them walk down the dirt road with the twins. 

Alex watched them all together as Jo waved them goodbye until they walked up the road. He knew why Izzie was taking the twins and Luna away for the afternoon. He suspected that the two of them had orchestrated this so Jo could talk to him. Since the night she showed up, they hadn't gotten a chance to be alone, and he knew Jo still wanted the full explanation for why he left. 

Then she looked back at him. She had that look on her face, that helpless little look with her lips slightly parted. It broke his heart every time he saw that look across her face. She parted her lips like she wanted to say something but no words came out. It was like she was frozen in heartbreaking silence. 

Finally, instead of speaking, she walked past him. Jo walked back down the hall to the guest bedroom that had become her and Luna’s room. Alex followed her, standing in the doorway. Jo sat down on the bed and sighed as she stared at the wall. It was then that he knew it was time to talk. As he walked up to her, he caught her eyes. In her eyes was a sea of hurt. 

The last time he messed up like this was when he hit DeLuca. That time they had several months to heal and talk. They kept going back to each other and talking a little more each time. Right now, it was all at once. Although Alex wasn't sure where they would go from here. He could still feel that pull between them, that thread of fate that kept bringing them together. 

He knew that he had to make it right, but he wasn't sure how. He wanted to speak first, but he didn't know where to start. As he looked at her, he knew the words he had always wanted to say, but as he opened his mouth, nothing came out. He wanted to say that he was sorry, and he knew what it would mean to her. 

Jo had always been one for words of affirmation, it was part of her love language. He remembered how she worried at the start of their relationship and how she needed a little extra reminder that she was loved and wanted. Even after they were engaged and later when they were married, she still liked to hear that he wanted her, that he loved her, that he wouldn't leave her. He knew that words alone wouldn't fix this. Still, he had to try.

“Jo,” Alex said before she cut him off.

“You left me. You left, Alex,” Jo breathed out, still in a state of disbelief. 

“I know,” Alex said, staring into her eyes, as much as he wanted to look down and hide his shame, he didn't want to look away from her. 

“So why did you do it?” Jo asked, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

“When I left to go see the twins after Meredith’s trial, I just wanted to meet them. It was such a shock to learn about them, and I didn’t know what to expect. So I went to see them without you. I thought that afterwards I would come home and tell you about them. Then we would figure it out together. I thought we would all work something out, but... Izzie didn't want me going back and forth between here and Seattle. And she didn’t want you to be a part of the twins’ lives either. She gave me an ultimatum. Stay and be a part of the kid’s lives or leave and never see them again. Since I didn't have any legal right to them, I stayed and sent you the divorce papers.”

“Bullshit, I know you didn’t just divorce me because Izzie told you to. That was your decision, Alex!” Jo said, her voice raising as she glared at him. “So tell me why? Why did you leave me after spending six years telling me you wouldn’t?”

There it was. The anger that she had for him. She was justified in it and Alex paused because he didn’t have a good reason as to why. In divorcing her, he had been a coward, and here he was facing his cowardness, but this time he wouldn't run away from doing the difficult thing.

“Every time I thought about going back to you, I thought about how I would only see them, my kids, part-time, maybe less. The longer I stayed here, the harder it was to leave. I had become their dad. I did all of the things that I had always wanted to do as a dad. I made their lunches, I helped them tie their shoes, I played with them, I read to them, and I tucked them into bed. I didn’t want to lose that and I knew that if I fought Izzie for custody, it would hurt everyone, me, her, you, and especially the kids.”

“I know why you did it, Alex. I know that you wanted to be with your kids. Now that I have Luna, I understand the kind of sacrifices you make for your child. I know that Izzie didn't make it easy for you, and I know that you had to move to Kansas to be with them. What I don't get is why didn't you tell me?” Jo asked, her eyebrows knitting together and her lips parted as she just stared at him. The desperate cry for answers in her eyes.

“I, I just… you… and I…” Alex fumbled with his words as he tried to find the right words. He paused and took a deep breath before he continued. 

“I thought about how I had betrayed you, and it just got harder and harder to tell you the truth. You had just gotten out of treatment for your depression. You were doing so well and I was so proud of you. I didn't want to take you away from your support system, from Meredith and Link, and your work and everything. I know how hard it was for you to trust people enough to let them help you when you needed it. You ran for so long, but you stopped running, and you put down roots. You built a home in Seattle. Telling you, bring you here, meant that you’d have to leave it all behind. Then all you’d have left was me, and we both know that as much as I wish I could be enough, I’m not. I can’t replace your friends, your family, or your home. Then the longer I thought about it, the more I knew I didn't want to break you again by taking all that away from you. So I sent you a letter and the divorce papers and... I left you. Just as I said in the letter, I knew that you would be strong enough to move on and find someone so much better than me. In a way you did, you found Luna and you poured all of the love that you had for me into her. And I know that because I know you and I know the way that you love. I'm so glad that you have her. Being a mother is everything I could’ve wanted for you, Jo.” 

“But you didn't think that leaving me wouldn't break me in a way that I could never recover from?” Jo whispered as tears welled up in her eyes. 

Jo stared at him with her eyes full of tears and tears collected in his eyes as well. The hurt between them was overwhelming and it spilled over in the tears on their cheeks. Jo took a shaky breath as she looked away from him, putting a hand over her mouth as she took a second. Alex sat down on the bed, just watching her before she turned back to him.

“No, it's just, I don't know. I thought it would be easier for everyone,” Alex said as he looked down and pressed his lips together. “I thought I was sparing you from a greater pain.” 

“But it wasn't easier for everyone, Alex! It wasn't easier for me. You leaving hurt me more than anything else in my entire life. And I get why you did it. I do. I don’t fault you for the sacrifices you made, but that sacrifice didn’t have to include me. You decided to let me go without even giving me a choice in the matter.”

“I know, I know I didn’t give you a choice and I should have. I should have told you about the twins from the start. I should've never left you. I should've done so many things that I didn't do. I should've done the hard thing and worked it all out between the three of us. And I don't have a good excuse to give you because there's no excuse for what I've done. I regret what I did every single day and for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry, Jo.”

“You left, and it was just so easy for you. And I want to trust you again, I do, but tell me. How do I know you're not going to leave me again?”

“You don't,” Alex said with a shrug and he knew he was breaking her heart again as he watched her face fall, but he continued. “I’ve broken your trust. I know any promises I make to you now are just going to seem empty. I don’t think you’ll ever truly know for sure that I won’t leave again and that’s my fault. I destroyed the trust that we had. But I want to try and rebuild that trust. I’m willing to try, Jo. I want to try if, if you’ll let me.”

Jo stared at him with that look, that helpless look that she always got. Her lips were turned down in a frown and slightly parted. Her eyes were wide and glassy with tears that had finally fallen down her cheeks in a silent waterfall. That look broke his heart every time he saw it across her face.

“Seattle isn't my home,” Jo whispered with a shake of her head.

“What?” Alex asked as he wasn't sure what she said.

“Seattle isn't my home,” Jo said a little louder as she stood up and took a step towards him. “You're right. I stopped running and I put down roots, but that was because I had you. You made me want to stay. My home isn't just a city, my home was you. And now my home is Luna. And yeah, it's Meredith and Link too, but we could have still kept in touch with them. We could have called and emailed and visited them all the time. I mean Meredith moved last month. She left too and it was hard but she did it. Everybody else left. Everybody from our intern class isn't in Seattle anymore”

Alex nodded, he knew what she meant. It was hard to watch everybody leave Grey-Slone. At first, it felt like a victory. You were the one that stayed and kept up the good fight. Then staying meant that you were the only one there. And it started to look a little less like success and a little more like surviving. 

Sometimes Seattle felt like a college town, especially when they were interns. It was just a stop along the way. It was the place where they went for a few years where they learned and studied and grew up into the surgeons they are now. Then they left for bigger and better things. They left to go where they were supposed to go.

“I meant what I said when I proposed,” Jo said, looking up at him with eyes pleading for him to believe her. “You're my home. You're half of my heart and I don't want to be without half of my home and heart.” 

Alex's lips parted as he slowly absorbed what she had said. He was her heart and he was her home. It wasn't those three little words of I love you, but it was better than that. His heart soared in his chest as he felt the same way he did the night she proposed with the same words. He felt the same way he did when he first confessed his love to her in the dark halls of the hospital, with the rain pounding on the windows. And just like he did that night, he took a chance and laid out his heart to her.

“I love you, Jo. I've missed you every day since I left. From the moment you got here, I’ve felt more at home than I have in a long time. You’re my heart and home too,” Alex said, taking a step toward her as well.

Jo didn't say anything, but she didn't need to. She let her body talk as she closed her eyes, letting the tears fall as she took another step forward and reached out to him. Alex didn't hesitate to reach out and wrap his arms around her. 

Jo leaped up and crashed into him with desperate lips and she kissed him. Alex kissed her back and moaned into her lips. He held her tightly against his chest as they kissed. He held her as they kissed until Jo’s knees gave out, and Alex picked her up and carried her over to the bed. She clung to him as he kissed her. Alex just kissed her and held her and Jo still leaned into him as they laid together. 

Despite their mutual confession of love, Alex knew it wasn't the right time to sleep with her. Jo seemed to feel the same and didn’t move her hands from his cheek. Instead, he just kissed her and relished in the feeling of being in her arms again. Jo was tired and it had been an emotional afternoon for both of them so he wasn't surprised when she soon pulled back and fell asleep. Her breathing evened out as she started to snore and he closed his eyes as well. He soon drifted off, falling asleep knowing that this was the first of many nights with her again.

……………………………………………………………………

“Okay guys, go grab a book and start reading. I'll be up as soon as I put Luna down,” Izzie whispered to the twins as she carried a sleeping Luna on her shoulder and they walked into the house. 

Izzie wasn't sure what to expect when they got back. She wasn't sure where Jo and Alex were as she stepped into the house. She just hoped that they weren’t naked on the couch. She figured it was a toss-up between screaming and fighting and the tearing of clothes and rustling of sheets. So she was surprised to find that the house was eerily quiet and that the main room was empty as the twins quietly ran ahead of her. 

Luna stirred on her shoulder, and Izzie paused, but Luna let out a sigh and quickly settled. The toddler loved the horses and even had a short ride on Misty with her. She then fell asleep on the short walk back to the house. It had reminded her of when the twins were little and she took them in the stroller to see the horses. Then they would fall asleep on the walk back. It was part of the reason why Izzie loved the farmhouse. She had wanted to give her kids the idealistic life in the country, and the little side house on the farm was the perfect place. 

Izzie had moved here when the twins were Luna’s age. She didn't want to raise her kids in the city and she didn't want to accidentally run into Alex somewhere. She had stayed in Chehalis with her mother as she finished her residency and fellowship in Olympia. After she got pregnant with the twins, her mother threatened to tell Alex about them. So when the Kansas City Hospital offered her a position, she took her kids and left. For the first time, she found herself leaving Washington. The state she was born in, the state she grew up in, and the state she had hoped to raise her children in. However, the moment she stepped onto a little farm in Kansas, she knew she was home. 

Izzie walked down the hall but paused at the doorway to Jo and Luna's room. Her intention was to put Luna down in the pack and play, but she didn’t want to walk in on them in bed. However, as she got to the door, it was still open, and Izzie peaked in. She was surprised to see that they were in bed together but fully clothed. They were lying together, on top of the sheets, wrapped in each other's arms, and fast asleep. 

She wasn't sure what this meant, but she hoped it meant something good, for Alex's sake and for Jo's too. In the past week that she had gotten to know her, Izzie found that she really liked Jo. She was fun and easy going and just so kind. As she watched the two of them together, she could see why they fell in love and got married. They were perfect for each other. She didn't know how Alex ever walked away from Jo, even for the sake of their kids.

She smiled at the two of them before she went over and laid Luna down in the pack and play, making sure to take off her shoes and put them on the floor next to the suitcases. If they were going to stay here any longer she should really buy a crib and a dresser for them. She laid a blanket over Luna before going over and putting a blanket over Jo and Alex as well. 

“Mommy, why are Daddy and Jo sleeping together?” Alexis whisper yelled as Izzie turned to see both her and Eli standing in the doorway holding a few books.

“I guess they got tired and wanted to take a nap too,” Izzie whispered as she ushered them out of the room, closing the door behind her.

“But when two adults sleep together, it means they're in love, right?” Eli asked as Izzie raised her eyebrows at him. She had no idea where he'd gotten that idea as she had never let any of her boyfriends stay over. “It means Daddy loves Jo, right?”

“Are they going to get married now?” Alexis asked, her eyes lighting up. 

“Daddy and Jo sleeping or taking a nap together doesn't necessarily mean they're in love,” Izzie said, although it was obvious to pretty much everyone that Jo and Alex were head over heels for each other. 

She often caught Alex staring at Jo throughout the day with that lovesick look. And when he wasn’t looking, Jo would stare at him with the same lovesick look. She knew there was a lot of hurt between them that they had to work out, but she hoped they did. After everything they had gone through, they deserve to be together.

“I hope they fall in love and get married. I want to be their flower girl,” Alexis said as Izzie laughed and pulled her over to the couch as they all sat down. “But either way, I want to keep Jo and Luna. I really love them, Mommy.”

“Sweetie, we can’t just keep people,” Izzie said with a smile running her fingers through Alexis's hair.

“Why not? We kept Daddy,” Alexis said, shrugging her shoulders as if it was that simple.

“It's different with your dad, you guys. Alex is your father. He should be a part of your life, but Jo and Luna…” Izzie trailed off not wanting to say that they shouldn't be a part of the twins' lives because they should be. 

She wanted them to continue to have a relationship with Jo and Luna. Still, she wasn't sure what to say. Jo was their almost stepmom. Izzie couldn't help but wonder if this was what it would have been like if things had worked out differently and Jo had been a part of their lives.

“I hope that Luna and Jo stay. You and Daddy haven't been fighting as much since they got here and Daddy’s been really happy,” Eli said, with a smile, as Izzie looked over at him. 

Eli was right though, as much as they tried to keep their arguments away from the kids, Izzie and Alex had been butting heads since he got there. However, she realized that they hadn't had a single fight since Jo and Luna had arrived. The things that would usually tick them off and send them into a fight just seemed so small now. Instead, they had been communicating better and working things out. Now that she thought about it, it was all because of Jo. 

Friday night, after they put the kids to bed, they were talking about who was going to take the twins to soccer practice the next day. Both of them hated soccer practice. The other parents were always so rude and judgemental, but the kids love soccer, so they put up with it. It was always an argument over who would take them, but this time Jo had told them just to start trading off every week, that way it was fair. She also asked if she could go with them. She said it'd be nice to get out of the house and go to the park with Luna, so Alex and Izzie agreed. The next day Izzie and Jo had taken the kids to the soccer field and they had all come back in high spirits. Jo said that she loved taking the twins to soccer practice. She even made a friend with one of the moms, and Luna played at the park with the other toddler. She asked to take them to soccer practice this week too.

“I hope that Jo and Daddy get married. Then we could keep her and Luna forever and I could be their flower girl!” Alexis said with a huge smile across her face as if she already knew it was going to happen.

“You know what, Alexis, I hope they get married too,” Izzie said with a smile as she gave in to them. “But it might be a couple of years before that happens.”

“If Daddy doesn't marry Jo, I will,” Eli said with that signature Karev smirk. Although he was only seven, he was certainly his father's son. He looked and sometimes acted exactly like Alex did and sometimes it took her by surprise.

“Okay Romeo,” Izzie said, putting her arm around Eli's shoulder and pulling him in. “Let's start reading. What book do you guys want first?”

Alexis and Eli quickly settled on a book and put it in her lap as Izzie began to read to them. It was rare these days that she got some alone time with both of them, but they each tried to have some one-on-one time with the kids. When Alex came, everything changed. Suddenly there was this whole other person in their lives who loved them and was a parent to them. 

As Izzie slowly accepted him into their lives, she realized that he didn’t intend to take the kids away from her. Alex didn't take anything from them, he only added to their lives. He added time and care and having him around was good. Now he added Jo and Luna, and Izzie knew it meant more love and a little sister for her kids. That was more than she had ever wanted for her kids. She hoped that Jo and Alex could work everything out so they could keep them, even if the two of them had to go back to Seattle.  

Izzie had thought about returning to Washington too. She wasn't sure if she wanted to go back to Seattle, but she missed her home state. Things between her and her mom were better. Robbie was a decent grandmother and the twins loved her. When she moved to Kansas, she was offered a position in oncology. She hoped to be chief of oncology by the time the twins were in school. However, the hospital had passed her over in favor of giving it to her rival, who had done his residency at the hospital.

A few months ago, Snohomish Medical had offered her a position as chief of oncology, along with a small grant for her research. At the time, she hadn’t considered taking it. Alex had just settled into their lives, and she didn't want to upend the twins' whole world twice in one year. Snohomish had recently contacted her again and told her the offer was still on the table. Now that Jo was here, Izzie knew she would ultimately pull Alex back to Seattle. She now considered taking the job and moving them all to Snohomish. Although she loved the farm, she knew that regardless of where her kids grew up, they would have parents who loved them, and that was the most important thing. 

[spacesquidlings]

Immeasurably

Christmastime means baking and cookies and most importantly of all, gingerbread. But sometimes baking doesn't always go to plan when you have 4 little girls trying to help

Pairing: Gavin Bai x OC (Rowan)

Warnings: None

Notes: Hello!!! Another Gavin piece featuring his 4 little daughters. They’re not canon to the game, but my own original characters and I simply love them so much so I have to write about them as much as I can. Have a wonderful day and I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmastime!!!!!

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“Mommy, can I help?”

Rowan looked over her shoulder to see Aurora clutching her pink step stool, making her way over to the counter.

“You want to help me bake?”

Aurora nodded furiously, setting the stool down and climbing onto it, her head barely above the counter as she peered at the cookie dough Rowan was rolling out.

“I wanna make cookies with you!”

Rowan couldn’t help smiling at the eagerness in her daughter’s face as she tried reaching for the cookie cutters at the corner of the counter.

“Be careful with those, little princess,” Rowan said, reaching out to grasp Aurora’s hand gently. “They’re sharp, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I won’t get hurt, mommy,” she sang, gently picking up a heart-shaped cutter. “I’ve got you here to keep me safe!”

Warmth spilled from her heart, and she felt as though she would melt into a puddle at the sweetness of Aurora’s words. “I’ll do my best.”

“Your best is always good enough,” Gavin said, surprising Rowan as he leaned over her shoulder to press a kiss to her cheek.

She gasped, her heart stammering for a moment. She hadn’t even heard him come in, hadn’t noticed he was in the kitchen until he was right behind her, pressing kisses to her cheeks.

“I missed you,” he murmured, kissing her again, nuzzling his face against her neck.

Rowan bit the inside of her cheek as she grinned, trying to focus on making sure Aurora cut the cookie shapes properly and didn’t accidentally cut herself.

“You weren’t gone for that long.”

“But I missed you,” he whined, his words tickling her skin. “Any moments away from you always feels far too long.”

She sighed, turning her head to the side to kiss the top of his head, unable to stop herself from smiling. “I missed you, too.”

“You know who else missed you?”

She arched a brow as Gavin pulled away, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he looked at the chubby little toddlers in his arms. “Who?”

“Two little tater tots,” he murmured, brushing kisses to their downy hair.

Gardenia whimpered, holding her arms out to Rowan, her bottom lip quivering. Meanwhile Cordelia, her twin, was still struggling to wake  up, her eyes falling closed as she slumped against Gavin’s shoulder.

“Hold on, love,” Rowan cooed, wiping the flour from her hands before taking Gardenia into her arms.

Gardenia whined, burying her face against Rowan’s neck as she bounced her gently.

“What’s wrong?” Rowan murmured, rubbing Gardenia’s back.

“Missed you, mommy,” she whined, her little hands clutching Rowan’s shirt tighter. “I was cold.”

“You were cold?” She asked, trying to keep her voice low and soft, not wanting to upset Gardenia anymore than she already was. Her littlest daughter didn’t like loud noises or voices, and she was prone to crawling into Rowan’s arms when anything was too loud.

Gardenia nodded. “Blankie fell.”

“Oh no, not blankie,” she said, kissing the top of Gardenia’s head. “When did blankie fall?”

“I don’t know,” she whimpered, sniffling as she spoke.

“Did daddy help you get it?”

She nodded, trying to wiggle closer to Rowan.

“I’m sorry blankie fell,” she murmured. “But I’ll hold you now if you want.”

“Gardenia,” Aurora said, keeping her voice softer, too. “Do you want to make cookies with me and mommy?”

Gardenia sniffled again, before peeking out from Rowan’s shirt. “Cookies?”

Aurora nodded, holding up one of the cookie cutters. “Wanna help me pick out the shapes?”

Cordelia opened her eyes instantly at the mention of cookies, her amber eyes bleary as she struggled to peer around the kitchen. “Cookies?”

But of course it was right then that Wisteria walked into the room, planting herself in the doorway of the kitchen and shouting at the top of her lungs.

“Mommy!”

Rowan winced, Gardenia going back to huddling against Rowan’s chest, a tiny sob bubbling from her mouth.

“Wisteria,” Aurora scolded. “Gardenia doesn’t like loud noises.”

Wisteria ignored her, crossing her arms as she tipped her chin up. “I have a annoucement.”

“What kind of announcement?” Gavin asked, chuckling as Cordelia started trying to climb onto his shoulder.

“I made a mess.”

Rowan winced again, her mind racing as she tried to figure out what kind of mess Wisteria could have made.

She had just sat her down in the kitchen with a bowl of fruit for a snack, and then Wisteria had wandered off, saying she had something important to do. Rowan had assumed she was going to the bathroom, since she’d started announcing every time she went.

Oh god.

Did she have an accident in the bathroom? Had she fallen into the toilet? Had she missed?

“Hey,” Gavin murmured, rubbing Rowan’s back, gently drawing her from her spiralling thoughts. “Come back to me, pumpkin.”

Rowan nodded, her lungs constricting as she tried to draw air into them. She had cookies already in the oven, she still had a few more batches to make, she had to clean the kitchen up still, and clean the dishes, and wash the girls’ laundry. She did not want to have to clean up a bathroom accident.

Gavin brushed her hair back from her face. “Rowan, come back.”

She nodded, leaning into his touch. “Sorry.”

Gavin shook his head, pressing a kiss to her brow. “It’s okay, pumpkin. Whatever it is, we’ll take care of it together.”

“Okay,” she murmured.

Wisteria remained in the doorway, bouncing from foot to foot. “Will you come see?!”

Sighing, Rowan readjusted Gardenia in her arms before walking over to Wisteria. “Show me the mess you made, love.”

Beaming, Wisteria turned on her heel and began marching down the hall. Apprehension was coiled in Rowan’s stomach, radiating oily anxiety through her veins as she struggled not to let her mind wander, trying desperately not to let her panic grow.

At least Wisteria hadn’t been hurt. She hadn’t heard any loud thumps, there were no tears beading in the corners of her eyes, no bruises forming on her little arms.

As long as Wisteria was safe she could handle whatever mess her daughter wanted to show them.

Standing in the threshold of the playroom, though, Rowan couldn’t quite wrap her head around what kind of mess Wisteria had been referring to. There were toys scattered across the floor, and pillows thrown haphazardly around where a pillow fort had once stood before Cordelia had accidentally knocked it down. And there was the bowl of fruit Rowan had given Wisteria not more than ten minutes ago, the leafy tops of strawberries tumbling onto the blue carpet.

Rowan tipped her head to the side curiously, trying to figure out what Wisteria wanted to show her. Gardenia peeked out from her hiding place again, her amber eyes scanning the room cautiously.

“What did you want to show us, baked potato?” Gavin asked, prying Cordelia from handing from his neck and repositioning her in his arms.

Wisteria huffed, showing as much indignation as an almost-five-year-old could. “My mess!”

Rowan arched a brow, still not understanding what Wisteria wanted to show her. “Could you point to it, love?”

Wisteria threw her head back, wiggling her arms as she groaned. “In da kitchen!”

Rowan blinked, looking back up to focus on the play kitchen they had gotten for the girls. It usually sat entirely unused unless they were trying to make “soup” for Stella or pretending to make snacks for their tea parties.

The plastic bowls and pots and pans were scattered all over the little counter and fake stove. The colourful cabinets were opened and the plastic food had fallen to the floor. There were plastic slices of cheese tossed haphazardly in a bowl leaning on its side, and the fake sink was filled with more dishes.

It was, without a doubt, a huge mess.

Wisteria beamed up at them. “I made a mess!”

Gavin nodded, looking just as confused as Rowan felt. “It looks like a big mess.”

“Now I’m just like daddy!”

Gavin’s brows shot up, his mouth hanging open.

Gardenia twisted around in Rowan’s arms, pointing to the mess Wisteria had made. “Like daddy!”

Gavin’s eyes widened and he flicked his gaze to Rowan. “They’ve been spending too much time with Shaw.”

Rowan pressed her face against Gardenia’s back, trying to stifle her laughter. But all it did was make Gardenia squeal and wiggle.

“What’s so funny?” Gavin asked, his eyes bright with mischief.

Rowan snorted, squeezing her eyes shut as she clutched Gardenia close. “N-nothing!”

Gavin set Cordelia down before grabbing Rowan, tickling her sides.

“What’s so funny?!”

“Nothing!” She squealed, Gardenia laughing now too. “Nothing is funny!”

“Then why are you laughing?!”

Gavin was laughing now too, the sound like music as it reverberated through the room. She could feel his laughter against her neck, could feel his smile as he squished his cheek next to hers while he held her fast so she couldn’t escape.

She heard the ringing laughter of Wisteria and Aurora as they chased each other around, their cheeks rosy and their smiles wide as they ran up to Rowan and tried tickling her legs and behind her knees.

Her own gasping laughter bubbled out of her as she tried in vain to wiggle from his grip, but Gavin held her too tight. After another few moments he stopped, curling his arm around her waist as she slumped back against him, heaving as she tried to catch her breath.

“That wasn’t very nice,” she pouted, her eyes falling closed as she breathed deeply.

Gavin chuckled, planting a kiss to her cheek. “You were making fun of me.”

“I did not.”

He poked her side and she gasped, elbowing his stomach. “I did not make fun of you.”

Gavin sighed, kissing her cheek again, one hand reaching up to brush the hair from her face. “Then why were you laughing?”

She shrugged, managing to pry herself free from his arms. But she was momentarily cut off from air as Gardenia wrapped her arms around Rowan’s neck, squeezing so tight she couldn’t breath.

“Princess,” she muttered, patting her back. “Mommy can’t breath.”

Gardenia loosened her grip, nestling comfortably back into Rowan’s arms, her eyes full of concern as she watched Rowan quietly.

“I’m alright, love,” she murmured, brushing her hair back. “Mommy is alright. She was just being attacked by daddy.” She cut Gavin a glare, wrinkling her nose. “He’s just upset Wisteria told him the truth.”

Aurora nodded, patting Gavin’s leg. “It’s true, daddy. You sometimes make a very big mess.”

He furrowed his brow. “Is that bad?”

“No!” Wisteria sang, making an even bigger mess in her plastic kitchen. “It’s more fun! You can make magic potions in the mess!”

Gavin narrowed his eyes. “Is that… a good thing?”

“Yes!” Aurora and Wisteria sang in unison.

“That’s how you make magic, daddy!” Aurora said, hugging his leg. “It’s how you make unicorns and fairies!”

Wisteria’s eyes widened. “Maybe daddy is a wizard.”

Gavin snorted. “I don’t know about that.”

Rowan watched Cordelia climb to her feet before toddling over to Wisteria, trying to take one of the bowls and plastic fruits. She looked back over at Gavin, a line between his brows.

“Hey,” she breathed, coming back over to stand next to him. “I’m sorry for teasing.”

He shook his head. “It’s alright, I know I’m a little messy.”

She reached up, gently pressing her thumb to the spot between his brows, wiping away that little line. “I love you. I love you messy or clean.”

He arched a brow, taking her hand and pressing a kiss to her palm. “What about after I come back from a run?”

“When you’re stinky and sweaty?”

He snorted, nodding.

“Of course I’ll still love you,” she said. “I always love you.” She poked his side. “I might ask you to shower, though.”

“I might ask you to come with me,” he murmured, his voice too low for the girl’s to hear.

She felt her face grow warm, and she pressed her face against his shoulder, breathing him in. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he said, wrapping his arms around her, rubbing her back as she leaned into his warmth. “With all of me.”

She would have stayed like that forever had Aurora not tugged on her skirt, drawing her attention to her distress.

“Mommy, what about the cookies?” Aurora asked, playing with the hem of her pink puffy skirt. “Are we still gonna make them?”

“Cookies?” Gardenia asked, once more roused from her hiding place to peer at Rowan with hope.

“We can still make cookies,” she said. “We’ve got lots of cookies to make.”

In fact there were some in the oven and they were probably just about done.

“Why don’t we go back to the kitchen and take a look,” she said. “There might be some all done and waiting to be eaten.”

Wisteria’s eyes widened. “Cookies?”

“Do you want one?” Rowan asked as Wisteria took Cordelia’s hand and dragged her over.

“I do, mommy! I wants one!”

Gavin watched her quietly, his lips sticking out in the smallest of pouts.

“You can have one too, babey,” she said, patting his cheek.

He smiled, taking her hand. “Okay, let’s go take a look at the cookies.”

Thankfully, despite their slight distraction, nothing had burnt in the oven. Which meant that when Rowan removed the cookie sheet from the oven they were the perfect golden brown, the sweet smell of the sugary cookies suffusing the air until it was warm, like something out of a dream.

Wisteria gasped, waving her hands in the air. “Mommy, can I have one?!”

“Not yet,” she said, scraping them from the sheet and placing them on the little wire cookie rack. “They need to cool for a little bit.” Wisteria pouted, crossing her arms. “I want a cookie.”

“Soon, little love,” she said, brushing a hand over Wisteria’s messy brown hair. “While you wait, do you want to help me and Aurora cut more cookie shapes?”

Wisteria hummed, her brow furrowing at the cookie cutters.

“Or,” she continued, settling Gardenia into her highchair. “Do you want to make icing with daddy? You can pick whatever colour you want.”

Wisteria gasped, jumping up and down. “Yes! Yes!” She spun around to Gavin. “Can we make icing?!”

His answering smile was soft as he nodded. “Of course. What colours do you want?”

She tapped her cheek, humming. “How about pink?!”

“That’s a good colour.”

“And purple, and red, and blue! And yellow! And green!”

Gavin laughed, scooping her into his arms and walking over to the cabinet where all the mixing bowls were.

They didn’t last very long before the twins started whining, and Gavin and Rowan each took turns playing with them while they tried making the cookies. 

Gavin ended up sitting on the floor while he mixed the different icings, Cordelia propped on his lap while he held her hands and helped her to stir the mixture. Beside him, Wisteria furiously mixed her own icing, tossing edible glitter and sprinkles and food colouring into her bowl.

For her part, Rowan ended up moving the cookie dough she was rolling out to the table, so it was easier for Aurora to cut out the cookie shapes, and Gardenia could watch what they were doing. She would reach over the table to take one of the cookie cutters sometimes, and Rowan would very gently guide her hands so she didn’t cut herself on the cutter. She would squeal in delight with every shape she made, staring in awe at it before moving on to something else.

Once all the dough had been cut into shapes and lined up on the cookie sheets, they were slid into the oven and the table was cleared so they could decorate the first batch of cookies.

“What can we decorate?” Aurora asked, tapping her hands on the table as she watched Rowan and Gavin set the cookies and icing on the table.

“Whatever you want,” Rowan said, putting paper towels down on the table, certain they were about to make a huge mess.

“I’m gonna decorate a magic snowman,” Wisteria said, with such confidence she rivalled her uncle’s belief that he was cool.

“How is the snowman magic?” Aurora asked, pulling a little bowl of pink icing towards her.

“Because it has sparkles and magic and it’s made of wishes,” Wisteria said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Aurora seemed to agree because she didn’t ask anymore questions, instead taking a butter knife and scraping out some icing for her cookie.

Cordelia and Gardenia were a little less delicate than Aurora, who decorated her cookie with as meticulous;y as an almost-seven-year-old could. They tried scooping out the icing with their hands, splattering it all over the cookies set in front of them.

Rowan tried wiping icing from their cheeks, but it was no use as the toddlers wiped their faces with their sticky hands, or splashed more icing onto each other.

“Once we’re done here I think we’re going to need a bathtime,” Gavin said, smiling as Gardenia tried creating a flower on her cookie.

“I think you’re right,” Rowan said, peering down only to find a massive green icing stain on the hem of her skirt. “How did that get there?”

Rowan was too busy trying to figure out when she got icing on herself to notice Gavin scooping a spoonful of pink icing from one of the bowls and creeping up beside her.

“Pumpkin?”

She turned, only to be met with icing being smeared across her face.

She gaped at Gavin in disbelief as the girls giggled.

“There’s a little icing on your face,” he teased, looking far too proud of himself.

Rowan didn’t think as she sunk her fingers into the closest bowl of icing before wiping her hand across Gavin’s face, smearing light blue icing over his cheek and forehead.

“It looks like there’s a little on your face, too,” she said, grinning.

The girls snorted with laughter, falling over the table giggling.

“Careful,” Gavin said. “You all might be next.”

Aurora and Wisteria shrieked, collapsing against each other in a fit of giggles. Cordelia and Gardenia snorted, slowly pulling the green icing bowl closer to themselves.

“Just what do you two think you’re doing?”

Gardenia giggled as she wiped icing over Cordelia’s cheek. “Decorating!”

“Decorating, are you?!”

Cordelia snorted, wiping her face and smearing the icing back over Gardenia’s forehead. “Decorating!”

It was, without question, a mess that rivalled the fake one Wisteria had created. But everyone’s smiles were so bright she couldn’t help smiling, couldn’t stop the warmth that spilled into her heart.

They were so happy, all her girls, her Gavin, they were all so happy. Her heart ached, her chest tight as golden sunshine spilled through her veins. She wanted to kiss all their pink, rosy cheeks. She wanted to wrap her arms around Gavin and never let go. Wanted to gather her daughters into her arms and hug them until they squealed with laughter. Wanted to tell Gavin how much she loved him over and over again.

It was after Rowan had set the second batch of cookies before the girls and let them loose to decorate them however they wanted that Gavin peeked over his shoulder from where he was washing the dishes.

“You know what would be fun?” He asked, setting the mixing bowl into the dish rack.

Rowan tipped her head to the side, gently nudging Stella away from the table so she couldn’t eat the icing and crumbs that were spilling to the floor. “What?”

“If we tried making a gingerbread house.”

The girls’ heads snapped up instantly, Aurora’s eyes wide. “A gingerbread house?! With a gingerbread me and Wisteria and mommy and daddy?!”

“And a gingerbread Stella?!” Wisteria chimed in, covering her mouth with her icing covered hands as she gasped.

Rowan hadn’t even considered it. She’d made a gingerbread house or two when it was still just her and Gavin for Christmas, but they hadn’t made one with the girls yet.

“If we make a gingerbread house we won’t have time to make dinner,” Rowan said, worry twisting her stomach. She wasn’t even sure what to make tonight. Macaroni maybe, since it would be easy.

Gavin shrugged, wiping his hands on the dish towel. “We can order takeout.”

Again Wisteria gasped. “Can we get McDonalds?!”

“A burger! Ooo, and a milkshake! And a toy!” Aurora sang, standing up on her chair. “And fries!”

“Fries!” Cordelia chimed in.

Gardenia, for her part, didn’t look up at all, too focused on her cookies.

“Is that okay?” Rowan asked, even though the thought of a burger and fries was far too enticing right now. She would love a burger and a large size of fries, and maybe a chocolate shake.

“Of course it’s okay,” Gavin said, kissing her brow. “I think we’re allowed a treat.” He closed his eyes, bumping his nose against hers. “You deserve a treat.”

“It would be really nice,” she admitted. “And I do kind of want a burger really badly right now.”

“Burgers it is, then,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

“And,” he continued, softer now as the girls cheered. “Once we’re done with the cookies I can clean it all up and finish the laundry, okay?”

“You don’t have to do that,” she said, even as exhaustion at the idea of doing all that cleaning and laundry weighed on her. “You work so hard, and you don’t have that much time off for the holidays.”

Gavin shrugged. “I don’t mind. And I’d much rather spend my time off helping to give you more of a break. You deserve to rest.” He brushed a kiss against each of her cheeks. “And watch some Christmas movies with the girls.”

She smiled, curling against his chest. “So do you.”

“I will,” he murmured, rubbing her back. “I want to spend as much time with my girls as I can.”

“Mommy?”

Rowan turned around at the sound of Gardenia’s voice, the first time she’d spoken in a while.

“What is it, tater tot?”

Gardenia held up a pink cookie with a messy icing flower. “For you.”

Rowan’s eyes burned as she plucked it from her daughter’s hands. “You made this for me?”

She nodded furiously. “Yes.”

“Thank you, love,” she said, kissing the top of her head. “I love it.”

Gardenia beamed, turning back to the next cookie she wanted to decorate.

“And I think the girls would rather spend time with you right now.”

“What about you?”

He hummed, squeezing her hand. “I’m happy if you are. And I know relaxing with the girls makes you happy.”

It did. Spending time with their girls, cuddling with them and helping them with their tea parties and braiding their hair and listening to their elaborate play adventures for their dolls and stuffies made her so happy. Falling asleep halfway through a movie with the girls all snuggled with her made her so happy.

But spending time with Gavin made her happy, too.

“Hush,” he said, seeming to read what she was thinking before she said a word. “I want you to be happy. Let me help.”

“Okay,” she murmured, letting him draw her back into another hug.

“Good,” he breathed. “Why don’t you get started on the gingerbread dough and I’ll order dinner.”

She nodded, holding him tight for another moment before he pulled away.

“I’ll be right back, pumpkin,” he said, brushing her hair back from her face before heading from the kitchen.

Gavin returned after about ten minutes, waving his phone in the air while Rowan mixed the cookie dough. “Everything is ordered! It’s going to take a bit to get here, though.”

“How long?!” Wisteria asked, her eyes wide and pleading.

“An hour,” Gavin said, tucking his phone back into his pocket.

Wisteria groaned, falling against her sister dramatically. “I’ll die!”

He chuckled, ruffling her hair as he walked past. “You won’t die.”

“Did you order milkshakes, daddy?” Aurora asked, clasping her hands together.

“Of course I did, sweet potato,” he said. “And fries.”

Cordelia and Gardenia frowned at him, wrinkling their noses.

He chuckled, patting the tops of their heads. “And chicken nuggets for you two.”

Gavin came over to kiss Rowan’s cheek. “How’s it going?”

“Pretty good,” she said, showing him the dough. “It just needs to be kneaded and then it needs to chill for about two hours.”

“Perfect,” he said. “That means we’ll have time to finish up icing the other cookies and have dinner while it chills.”

He kissed her again, nudging her out of the way. “Why don’t you go sit down? I can do this.”

“But I’m almost done!” She whined, elbowing his side.

Gavin pouted, pressing his face against her shoulder. Rowan reached up to run her fingers through his hair, giggling.

“Why don’t we finish it up together?”

He whined, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“I’ll give you a little kiss.”

That seemed to cheer him up, and he moved to stand beside her, holding his hands out for the dough.

She separated the dough into two portions, and together they both kneaded it until it grew stiff, then wrapped it up and tossed it in the fridge.

“Now we wait,” she sighed, leaning against him. She felt a wave of exhaustion roll over her then, as though she had been barely keeping it at bay until she had finished the dough. And now that she was done, the dam had burst, fatigue leaching through her veins until her body was heavy as lead.

She blinked, and she struggled to open her eyes again. Gavin was warm too, and it didn’t help her sudden drowsiness. He had wrapped his arm around her waist, had tugged her closer, and she could feel his heartbeat against her back, felt the warmth of his body seeping into her.

She yawned, turning her head to press her face against his cheek. “I’m sleepy, babey.”

“Why don’t you go take a nap,” he murmured. “I can handle things here. Go lay down.”

“Are you sure?”

Gavin took her hand, drawing her from the kitchen and into the living room. He scooped her into his arms, and she found she didn’t have the energy to fight against him, to whine and argue that she wasn’t that tired. Gavin took another few steps, gently laying her down on the couch.

“Rest,” he murmured. “You look like you can barely keep your eyes open.”

She pouted, hating the fact that he was kind of right. Her eyes felt heavy and she could hardly keep them open anymore. But still she didn’t want to waste any time, didn’t want to lose any time with her Gavin and her daughters.

“For me?” He pleaded, kissing the back of her hand. “So I know you’re rested?”

She groaned, rolling her eyes as she fought off a yawn. “Alright. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

He chuckled, taking one of the blankets from the back of the couch and draping it over her. “I’m lucky that I have you.”

She didn’t think she would actually sleep. She assumed one of the girls would come over and talk in her ear until she got up. Or the delivery would arrive and the driver would ring the doorbell incessantly like the kid that delivered pizza a week before, who leaned his entire hand on the doorbell until Gavin had swung the door open, his expression so hard the kid had sprinted away before they could tip him.

But the one thing she hadn’t expected was that she would actually fall asleep. Or that she would fall asleep so quickly. There was nothing she hated more than falling asleep when the day wasn’t over, wasting daylight hours that could be better spent working on her own projects, or spending time with her daughters, or sharing precious moments with Gavin.

But she did fall asleep, drifting into a misty, dawn-coloured dream moments after Gavin had tucked the blanket around her. She didn’t even wake up when Aurora crawled onto the couch with her, curling against her side. And she didn’t wake up when Gardenia crawled onto her chest and promptly fell asleep, too.

It wasn’t until Gavin knelt beside her, gently kissing her face that she awoke. The living room had grown darker, the Christmas lights glowing in the gloom. But she felt so much warmer too, like more blankets had been wrapped around her.

It took her a moment to realize two of her daughters were snuggled up against her, Gardenia snoozing peacefully on her chest while Aurora cuddled against her side, sighing in her sleep.

Her eyes were so heavy she struggled to open them, and she felt like it would be far too easy to fall back asleep. To let sleep drag her back under with its irresistible siren song. Her daughters were cuddling with her, Gavin’s fingers were tangled in her hair, she was warm and comfy.

But Gavin wasn’t having any of it, chuckling softly as he kissed her eyelids as they fluttered closed. “Wake up, sleeping beauty. The food’s here.”

She groaned, squeezing her eyes shut tighter. “Sleeby.”

He snorted, nuzzling his nose against her cheek. “Sleepy? Too sleepy to eat.”

She cracked her eyes open, groaning louder, her voice still thick with sleep. “Carry me?”

“Of course, whatever you want,” he murmured. “Although we’ll have to move these little potatoes, first.”

Aurora whined, wiggling closer against Rowan’s side. “Mommy’s warm!”

“Mommy has to eat,” Gavin chided, gently prying Aurora from her side. “And so do you.”

Wisteria popped up from nowhere, squeezing herself against Rowan’s side now that Aurora had vacated.

“Mommy,” she said, in the loudest whisper Rowan had ever heard. “Our food’s here!”

“So I heard,” she murmured, trying and failing to keep her eyes open.

“You gotta get up!” She sang, loud enough to make Rowan’s ears ring. “Gotta eat! Daddy says you gotta eat!”

Rowan wrapped her arms around Wisteria, drawing her against her chest and squeezing her tight. “First I need some cuddles, or else I won’t wake up.”

Aurora squealed in protest, and soon Rowan felt another little pair of arms trying to hug her. “No hugs without me!”

Gardenia, for her part, was miraculously still asleep while Wisteria giggled, chattering about the food and that Rowan simply had to get up! Get up so she can eat! Daddy said so.

Eventually Gavin pried the two little potatoes from Rowan’s arms, shooing them to the kitchen.

“Come on,” he murmured, sliding his arms beneath Rowan’s legs and against her back. “I ordered all your favourites.”

She nodded, cradling Gardenia against her chest as Gavin lifted her up. She let her head fall back against his shoulder, sighing as she felt the ghost of a kiss against her brow.

“I’m glad you got a little rest,” he murmured. “I think you needed it.”

She tried pouting, but he pressed his lips to hers, the pout dissolving before it had even formed.

“Don’t do that,” he breathed, cradling her closer. “Don’t pout.”

“Why not,” she whined, struggling to keep her eyes open and not let them fall closed and fall back into her dreams.

“Well first because you did need some rest,” he said, and she wrinkled her nose, glaring at him at the sound of laughter in his voice. “And I know you’re about to argue that you weren’t actually tired, but you fell asleep in less than a minute.”

“It wasn’t that fast,” she grumbled, cuddling Gardenia closer.

“Pumpkin, all four of the girls tried cuddling you and you didn’t wake up once.”

“I didn’t wake up to hug them?!” She whined, her eyes widening as she realized she’d completely ignored her poor, sweet little daughters.

“It’s okay mommy, you needed sleep!” Aurora sang, patting the table as Gavin gently lowered Rowan into a chair.

“Now you can make cookies!” Wisteria added, clapping her hands together.

Rowan couldn’t help smiling, leaning over to rustle Wisteria’s hair. “You’re right, now we can make lots of cookies.”

“Second,” Gavin breathed as Wisteria’s giggles quieted, brushing a kiss to the top of Rowan’s head. “I love your smile more than your pout.”

She was halfway to sticking her bottom lip out again when he kissed her gently, and the pout melted away into nothing.

“Nice try,” he muttered, pulling away.

She shrugged, smiling up at him. “But you think both are cute, right?”

“You’re always cute,” he said, chuckling as he sank into his seat. “You’re always the most beautiful.”

Wisteria gagged, wiggling her fingers as she reached for one of the burgers. “Daddy! We all know mommy is pretty. You don’t have to be yucky.”

“It’s not yucky!” Aurora protested, her eyes dreamy as she peered up at the ceiling. “He’s like a prince in a fairytale.”

“Does that make mommy the princess?” Wisteria asked, successfully grabbing one of the burgers and dragging it towards her.

“Gardenia’s a pwincess,” Cordelia sang, pointing to her sister.

“You’re right, she is,” Rowan said, booping Cordelia’s nose. “And so are you! And Aurora and Wisteria.”

“Well then mommy would be a queen,” Aurora said, sounding pensive.

“And daddy is a king,” Wisteria said, taking a massive bite out of her burger.

“Chew your food carefully, baked potato,” Rowan chided, wiping Wisteria’s cheek as lettuce spilled out of her mouth.

Gavin chuckled, setting fries on Aurora’s plate and handing her a milkshake. “Your mommy is a queen. She’s the most important person in my world.”

Rowan felt her cheeks flame and she stared down at her plate for a long moment, feeling silly and lightheaded, like the first time he’d ever held her hand, the first time he’d told her she was pretty, the first time he’d held her in his arms like she was the most precious thing in the world.

“Well that would make daddy a king,” Rowan said, her voice soft as she looked up, meeting his amber gaze, as warm and brilliant as the summer sun. “Because he’s my most important person, too.”

Gavin’s ears turned red as a sunset sky, but his gaze remained warm and soft as an embrace, as the arms that always held her so close.

Wisteria cleared her throat, drawing everyone’s attention to her. She leaned forward, giving a gap-toothed grin at her family. “Do you know who else is a queen?”

Aurora groaned, rolling her eyes as she slumped back in her chair. “Is it Sailor M-”

“IT’S SAILOR MOON!” Wisteria screamed, waving her hands wildly as she jumped up on her seat. “SHE’S A QUEEN.”

Covering her mouth to stifle her laughter, Rowan leaned over to take Wisteria’s hand. Her shoulders were shaking as she struggled not to laugh as she squeezed her daughter’s hand and drew her back down.

“Inside voice please,” Gavin said, but his face was red, and he turned around quickly, disguising his own laughter with a handful of coughs while Wisteria wiggled back into her seat.

“Sailor Moon is a queen!” She said again, looking perfectly unperturbed while Aurora made a face. “She’s queen of the moon!”

“Technically,” Aurora said, dunking a chicken nugget into a puddle of sweet and sour sauce on her plate. “Neo Queen Serenity is a queen.”

“But Sailor Moon becomes her,” Wisteria whined, taking a pickle from her burger and tossing it onto Aurora’s plate. “They’re the same person!”

“I guess,” Aurora grumbled.

“I thought you liked Sailor Moon too,” Rowan said, confusion twisting in her mind. Hadn’t Aurora been just as excited as Wisteria when they’d bought the boxed set of the show?

“I do,” Aurora said, sighing dramatically. “But all Wisteria talks about is Neo Queen Serenity.”

“Cause she’s COOL!” Wisteria shouted, earning a chorus of giggles from the twins who parroted her shouts.

“Well what do you like about it?”

Aurora hummed, tapping her cheek. “I like the talking cats. And the pretty transformations. And that they’re all princesses!”

“Like us!” Wisteria sang, jumping up to stand on her chair again. “Crime fighting princesses! With sparkly crowns!”

“And handsome princes that help,” Aurora added, staring dreamily to the side.

“Yuck,” Wisteria said, wrinkling her nose. “No princes for me.”

“Wisteria Faye,” Rowan chided. “You don’t stand on your chair. You have to sit.”

“Sorry mommy,” Wisteria said, pouting as she sat back down. “I’m just excited about Sailor Moon.”

“I know you are, love,” she said, smoothing her hair back. “But you can’t stand on your chairs like that. You could get hurt.”

“Okay,” she said, nodding.

“We don’t want you hurt,” Rowan said, kissing the top of her head. “You’re far too precious.”

Wisteria nodded again, leaning into Rowan’s embrace. “Will you watch it with me?”

“Watch what?” She asked.

“Sailor Moon?”

“Of course I will,” Rowan said, pulling back. “But you have to eat all your dinner first so we can make the gingerbread, okay?”

Aurora peaked up from over her burger, looking a little shy as she asked “can I watch it too?”

“And me!” Gardenia cried, waving her hands much the same way as Wisteria had moments ago.

Snorting, Rowan nodded her head. “Of course we can. But everyone has to eat their dinner first, okay? Daddy ordered it special for us.”

“Thank you, daddy,” Aurora said, her voice soft as she took a fry directly from his plate.

Gavin chuckled, ruffling her hair. “Anything for my potatoes.”

Cordelia’s brow furrowed, her hand reaching past her highchair table, towards a bag of fries on the table. “Potatoes? Please?”

Rowan handed her a fry, watching as her expression shifted into pure delight. Cordelia lifted the fry up, showing it to Rowan as though she hadn’t just handed it to her.

“‘S a potato, mommy!”

“You’re right,” she said, bobbing her head. “It’s a potato!”

Cordelia nibbled at her fry, seeming perfectly content holding it between both her hands for a few moments.

“Rowan,” Gavin said, drawing her attention to where he sat, flanked by little girls trying to steal his food from his plate.

“Is everything okay?”

His eyes were soft as he reached across the table, taking her hand and squeezing it. “I just wanted to see your face for a moment.”

Her cheeks grew warm again, but she couldn’t look away, not as he held her gaze, his smile as soft as morning sunshine.

“Also,” he continued, speaking a bit slower, the corner of his lip twitching up. “You should eat before your food gets cold, or the girls steal it.”

Rowan looked down to see Wisteria fully leaned over her plate, her eyes wide as she stared up at Rowan, her little hand bunched around the fries on Rowan’s plate.

“And just what do you think you’re doing?” Rowan asked, arching a brow as Wisteria froze.

“Wanted some fries?” She asked, giving Rowan a tentative smile.

After a very long moment of silence Rowan waved at Wisteria, letting her rob her of her fries. “Go on and take them, but be careful if you fill up before the cookies are done.”

“You don’t have to worry about that mommy!” She sang, stuffing the fries into her mouth. “I’m never full!”

Gavin started to chuckle, but his eyes widened as Rowan reached across the table to steal his fries.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”

Rowan pouted, drawing the fries onto her plate while Gavin watched with feigned shock. “I’m hungry.”

“I am too!”

“There’s more fries in the bag.”

Gavin closed his eyes, sighing. But there was still a smile on his lips, and she was sure he would get revenge for this later.

“Whatever you wish, pumpkin,” he said at last, his eyes glittering like stars as he opened them.

She narrowed her eyes, glaring at him as he pulled another packet of fries from one of the takeout bags. But Gavin didn’t respond, merely giving her a knowing look that told her he would get his vengeance soon.

Fries fell to the floor, cups almost tipped over, Wisteria and Aurora traded tomatoes for pickles while Gardenia kept trying to take a sip from Rowan’s milkshake. It was a loud, messy dinnertime, and Rowan spent more time catching food before it fell into Stella’s waiting mouth and wiping cheeks and asking Wisteria to pretty please sit down on her butt she’s going to fall off her chair.

But she didn’t mind. She didn’t mind the little voices trying to drown each other out. She didn’t mind the way Stella whined as she tried to find scraps. Or how she had to wipe little mouths and remind the girls to chew their food before they started talking.

They were all smiling, all happy and loud, all made of sunshine and light and the sweetest joy. Even though her ears were ringing a little when Cordelia mentioned a rock she had found in the backyard and Gardenia started sobbing.

She looked up at Gavin as she finished her food, catching the warmth of his gaze as it swept across the table.

“What are you thinking?” She asked, her voice soft, barely heard above the cacophony around them.

But Gavin still smiled, tipping his head to the side as he considered her question. He hummed, the sound soft and warm, reverberating beneath the noise like the bass line of a song.

“I was just thinking about how happy I am,” he said, his words carried on the evening wind as it rustled her hair and her clothes. “To be here with all my favourite people.”

She chuckled. “What about your friends? Or your brother?”

Gavin snorted, gently shoving Stella back to the floor as her front paws landed on the table next to him. “They would probably make a bigger mess than the girls.”

Rowan bit back a laugh, remembering the last time the girls had been left in the care of their uncle, or the day Minor had insisted on helping out to give Gavin and Rowan some time alone.

Both occasions had ended up with paint drenched across the back of the house, and all the girls racing around on a sugar high while they’d struggled to chase them down to bathe.

If she’d had a nickel for every time that had happened, she’d only have two nickels. But it was still weird that it had happened twice.

“And anyways, you’re my favourite people,” he continued, drawing her from her paint-splattered memories. “And so are our girls.”

His voice was so soft, so earnest, and it made her feel like she was melting a little. Like he was the golden morning sun, or perhaps like he was made of starlight and stardust and she had stepped close enough to feel the warmth of all that light.

“I don’t want to spend my time with anyone else.”

She wanted to get up and wrap her arms around him. She wanted to curl up in his lap and rain kisses over his face until his cheeks were pink and he was laughing. She wanted to be closer, to hold him, to be held in his arms.

But she couldn’t do any of that as Wisteria toppled over from her chair and into Rowan’s lap, peering up at her with the widest, fakest look of innocence she had ever seen.

“Mommy,” she said slowly, fluttering her lashes as if that might get her out of trouble for truly tumbling from her chair. “Can we make the gingerbread now?”

“Yes yes!” Aurora squealed, jumping down from her seat to dance in excitement. “Can we please? We finished our whole dinner!”

Wisteria twisted in Rowan’s lap to snuggle against her, a trick Rowan sometimes used on Gavin when she wanted to watch a specific movie, or visit a store, or order something for dinner instead of have the leftovers in the freezer.

“Please mommy?”

She sighed, wrapping her arms around Wisteria and drawing her closer. “Of course we can. But no more standing on chairs.”

“Okay mommy,” Wisteria said, having the good sense to look away in remorse even as Aurora whooped.

“Will you two help me pick up the plates?” She asked, even as she cradled Wisteria in her arms, pressing a small kiss to her soft, messy hair.

But before either girl could respond Gavin was already standing and clearing the table, crumpling the empty takeout containers and bags and piling the plates and utensils up and carrying them to the dishwasher.

“Let me handle the cleanup,” he said, kissing Rowan’s head as he passed. “Why don’t you start taking out the cookie dough? And the girls can cut up some cookies.”

“Are you sure?” She asked, trying to stand, Wisteria clutching at her shirt as she moved.

“Of course I am, sweetheart,” Gavin said, turning the sink on to rinse the plates. “I’ll help with the cookies in a minute.”

She nodded, shifting Wisteria in her arms as she made her way to the fridge.

“Do you want to make some cookies now?” She asked, booping Wisteria’s nose with hers. “Make some gingerbread Wisteria’s and Stella’s and Aurora’s?”

“And Cordelia’s and Gardenia’s!” Aurora sang, carrying the cookie cutters over to the counter.

“Oh of course,” Rowan said, nodding.

Wisteria nodded, covering her mouth so she didn’t scream. “I am, mommy.”

“Good! Will you help me roll the dough?”

Rowan carted Wisteria and the cookie dough over to the counter before setting her down on one of the stools Aurora had dragged over. She started by rolling the dough out, blowing on her hands every few moments to warm them up from the chilly dough.

Wisteria made grabby hands at her, wanting to try her hand at the rolling pin. And she had only just handed Wisteria the rolling pin, telling her to be careful because it was heavy, when she felt fingertips ghosting against her neck, brushing her hair back. She gasped as Gavin grazed his lips against her skin, sending warmth spilling through her, reaching deep into the marrow of her bones.

“I’m finished with the dishes,” he said, his arms wrapping around her waist. “And I’ve cleaned up the table. Do you want to move the dough to the table? It’ll be easier for the tater tots to make cookies there.”

She nodded, smiling as he trailed kisses along the line of her jaw. “Will you help me carry it over? Wisteria’s already done such a good job of rolling out the dough.”

Wisteria beamed up at the two of them as Gavin murmured a quiet “as you wish.”

He lifted the dough up and carried it over to the table, where both the twins and Aurora were already waiting. Cordelia and Gardenia had been released from their high chairs, and now stood on their chubby toddler legs, bouncing as Gavin settled the dough in front of them.

“Do you want me to show you how to cut a cookie?” He asked, grinning as they both bobbed their heads furiously.

Rowan couldn’t help smiling as she helped Wisteria up onto a chair, listening as Aurora babbled about how she was going to make fairy princess cookies for the gingerbread house and family. Wisteria asked if they could make Sailor Moon, and Aurora groaned, rolling her eyes so hard Rowan thought they would pop out of her head.

But then Aurora scooted closer to her sister, tearing pieces of dough and rolling them between her hands until they looked like Sailor Moon’s pigtails.

“Do you want a cat too?” Aurora asked, her nose wrinkling as Wisteria whooped loudly.

“Sorry,” Wisteria said, clapping a hand over her mouth as she realized how she’d shouted in her sister’s ear. “Yes please, ‘rora.”

Rowan smiled, watching as the little gingerbread people piled up on their cookie sheets. Gardenia stretched out her hands towards a star shaped cookie cutter and Rowan handed it to her.

“Mommy, help?” She asked, her eyes wide.

“Of course, love,” she breathed, guiding Gardenia’s hands over the last of the dough and pressing the cutter against it.

“Now pull back like this,” she said, her heart aching as Gardenia squealed with delight when the cookie came out perfect.

“Look at that! Look at how well you did!”

“Another please?” She asked as Rowan set the star down onto a cookie sheet.

“Of course!”

While the four of them worked on the cookies themselves, Gavin and Cordelia had started on making the walls and roof of the gingerbread house. Gavin had already split the dough so there was already enough, and his brow was furrowed as he checked his phone for the reference he had pulled up.

Cordelia, for her part, kept patting at the dough and pulling at the corners. She would squeal everytime Gavin took her hands, kissing them gently before guiding them through cutting the pieces into the perfect shapes.

Once they were done, Rowan and Gavin slid the cookie sheets into the oven. Heat blasted their faces, washing away the evening chill that had started to creep into the house.

“Do we need to make any icing?” Gavin asked, arching a brow as Rowan shut the oven and set a timer.

“I think we’ll just need some to stick the pieces of the house together.”

He nodded, grabbing the mixing bowl from the dishrack and toting it towards the blender. “I can do that if you’d like.”

“That’s okay,” she said, grabbing icing sugar from the pantry and carting it to where he stood. “You’ve already helped so much.”

He kissed her brow, taking the icing sugar from her hands before she could object. “Let me do this, pumpkin. Why don’t you sit down?”

She pouted, crossing her arms as Gavin started measuring out the icing sugar and pouring it into the mixing bowl. “I’m not a delicate porcelain doll, babey. I can make a little icing.”

“I know,” he said, turning back towards her. “But I want to help, too. And I want you to relax with the girls.”

He cupped her face with one hand, stroking her cheek with his thumb. His smile was bright, almost teasing as he leaned close, his lips practically brushing against hers. “Or maybe do you just not trust me to make the icing?”

She opened her mouth to respond, but she never got the chance before Gavin was pressing his lips to hers, catching her in a slow, gentle kiss.

She felt her breath rush from her lungs, felt her eyes fall closed as she melted against his chest. She felt his chuckle rumbling through him, reverberating through her bones. Her hands fell to his chest, gripping his shirt between her hands as his other arm encircled her waist. Her thoughts turned to mist, and she tipped her head back, sighing as Gavin kissed her deeper.

Her legs felt like jelly, her entire body like it was made of spun sugar and sunshine and fluffy clouds. She felt so insubstantial she thought she might dissolve into nothing the moment he let her go.

She was so consumed by the embrace that she didn’t even notice as Gavin gently led her back to the table. Didn’t notice even as the back of her legs hit a chair. And even as he broke away, pressing his lips to her brow, she was far too dizzy to realize he was gently pressing her into the chair.

It wasn’t until Gavin’s warmth was gone and the mixer was screaming did she realize he had duped her.

“Hey!” She cried, irked by his trickery.

Gavin turned to look at her over his shoulder, his grin filled with impish delight. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“You tricked me!”

He shrugged. “I did want to kiss you, though.”

She narrowed her eyes, glaring at him.

“And you always look adorable when your face turns red like that.”

Rowan wrinkled her nose, turning away so he couldn’t see her face at all.

“You tricked me into sitting down!”

He snorted. “Well now you can relax with the girls. I’ll be done in a minute, anyways.”

Rowan would have played with the girls, except they had all dispersed by then, leaving the mess of flour and used cookie cutters scattered across the table. She could hear Wisteria and Aurora giggling together, and Stella was chatting while Cordelia rambled on about what sounded like rocks.

Gardenia poked her head around the doorway, smiling when she saw Rowan at the table.

“Mommy,” she whined, toddling towards her. “Up?”

“You want up?” Rowan asked, scooping her into her arms. “Are you okay?”

Gardenia didn’t answer, instead burrowing against Rowan’s chest.

She snorted, rubbing her daughter’s back as she huffed a very big sigh for such a tiny person. “Let me guess. Cordelia is carrying her rock around again.”

Gardenia huffed again, confirming Rowan’s suspicions.

“It’s okay,” she said, rubbing Gardenia’s back. “You’re still Cordelia’s best friend.”

She could practically hear Gardenia’s pout as she tried pressing herself closer to Rowan, her little hands balling in her shirt.

“Do you want to watch a movie while we wait for the cookies?” Rowan asked.

Gardenia nodded her head, and Rowan stood, carrying her into the living room.

“What movie should we watch? A Christmas one?”

A tiny gasp burst from down the hall and suddenly Aurora was standing in front of them, her eyes wide. “Can we - Can we watch Barbie Nutcracker?!”

A dull thud sounded from somewhere in the house and then Wisteria barrelled into the room, her cheek bright red as she clasped her hands together. “Mommy, no! I wanna watch the Miraculous Ladybug Christmas!”

Aurora wrinkled her nose. “That ones yucky.”

“But we watched Barbie yesterday!”

“That was Rapunzel.”

Wisteria furrowed her brow, thinking hard for a moment. “Oh, okay!” She shrugged her shoulders, her expression clearing. “We can watch Nutcracker then.”

Gardenia wiggled in Rowan’s arms, glowering at her sisters.

Rowan arched a brow, plopping down on the couch and reaching for the remote. “Well, if we all can’t agree, why don’t we watch Rudolph? That’s a good one.”

Wisteria gasped. “Yes, a very good one!”

Gardenia nodded, snuggling against the crook of Rowan’s arm as she scrolled through their movies before finally finding Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Aurora and Wisteria both snuggled up next to Rowan, pulling blankets around them so they were all extra cozy. She sighed, doing her best to wrap her arms around her girls, contentment wrapping around her like the fluffy pink blanket Aurora had dragged out from her room.

Not long after the movie had started Gavin strolled into the room, carrying a wiggling Cordelia over his shoulder like a tiny sack of potatoes.

“Look at the troublemaker I found,” he said, tickling her side as she giggled. “She was having a tea party with her new rock friend.”

Gardenia glowered, looking away from her sister.

“But I told her that her friend had to go to sleep early,” he said, grunting as he dumped her onto a pile of pillows, Cordelia shrieking with laughter. “Since the rock is so little.”

Gardenia still wouldn’t look at Cordelia, glaring at the floor.

“And anyways, it’s not a very good tea party if none of her sisters are there,” he said, nestling against Rowan’s other side. “Right girls?”

Aurora bobbed her head furiously, but Wisteria didn’t make note of Gavin at all, her eyes already drooping with sleep.

He kissed Rowan’s cheek, ruffling Gardenia’s hair as she continued to pout. “I took the cookies out of the oven. They’re just cooling now.”

She nodded, resting her head against his shoulder. “Thank you, babey.”

“And,” he continued. “I finished the icing and cleaned up the table and put all the icings and some spare candies I found on the table.”

She tipped her head back, planting a kiss against his jaw. “You’re amazing, babey. Thank you.”

His ears burned red and he smiled. “Anything for you.”

They made it over halfway through the movie before the girls started to grow antsy. Wisteria, for her part, had fallen asleep not long after the movie had started, the warmth from the cuddles and the blanket that had been draped over her making her drowsy almost instantly. But Aurora was bright eyed and wiggling in place, flicking her eyes from the movie to Rowan and Gavin then back.

Cordelia had already gotten up and was wandering around on her chubby toddler legs. She would fall over on the carpet and squeal with laughter before looking up at her twin, trying to get Gardenia to play with her.

Gardenia however, was not paying attention to her sister, still upset by being ignored in favour of Cordelia’s new best rock friend. Instead, she was still nestled in Rowan’s lap, but she kept pulling at her shirt, asking about what colour the icing would be, how big the gingerbread house would be, how much longer until they could decorate the cookies.

Rowan leaned over, her head falling against Gavin’s shoulder as she peeked up at him. “Maybe it’s time to decorate the cookies?”

He hummed, peering down at their girls, either sprawled out on the couch or stacking a handful of dolls on top of each other on the floor.

“What do you think, sweet potato?” He asked Aurora, drawing her attention. “Should we make our gingerbread house?”

“And our gingerbread family?!” She asked, bouncing in place.

“And Stewwa?!” Gardenia asked, pointing to Stella, who had curled up near where Cordelia was stacking her dolls and toppling them over.

“I think there’s a Stella-shaped cookie in there,” Gavin said, leaning over to press a kiss to Gardenia’s head. “Should we go and see?”

There was a cacophony of noise as three of the girls leapt up at the same time, amber eyes wide and sparkling as they raced off towards the kitchen.

“I’ll take that as a yes?” He asked, chuckling as he pressed a kiss to Rowan’s brow.

She snorted, cuddling closer to him for one stolen moment. “It’s almost like they’re excited to make a gingerbread house or something.”

“I can’t promise it’ll be as nice as our house, but I’ll try my best,” he said, kissing her again, wrapping his arms around her as he closed his eyes.

“I’m sure it’s going to be fantastic,” she said, sighing as his warmth enveloped her, as the simple smell of his soap and the smell of the wind and pine filled her senses. “And no matter what, it’ll be tasty.”

Gavin opened his mouth to say more, but it was then that shouts rose up from the kitchen.

“Mommy! Daddy! Come on!”

Gavin snorted, rolling his eyes as he gently untangled himself. “Why don’t I go get started with them while you wake up this little baked potato.”

Wisteria snored softly in response, the blanket twisted around her mouth as she slept.

He pressed one last kiss to her cheek before heading towards the kitchen, calling out to the girls that they’d better get ready.

Rowan gently drew Wisteria into her lap, rubbing her back slowly to rouse her.

“Wake up, my love,” she murmured, smiling as Wisteria cracked two sleepy eyes open. “You fell asleep.”

She yawned, rubbing at her eyes. “Is it cookie time, mommy?”

Rowan kissed the top of Wisteria’s head, nuzzling her messy, fluffy hair. “It is, love. Do you want to decorate the cookies with us?”

She yawned again, squeezing her eyes shut. “Yes please.”

“Do you want me to carry you?”

She whined in response, holding her arms out to Rowan.

Gathering Wisteria up, Rowan made her way back to the kitchen, telling Wisteria all about how they were going to make the gingerbread house and decorate the cookies, and that there would be a special Wisteria cookie and cookies of all her sisters.

When they got into the kitchen the scene before Rowan was nothing short of an absolute mess. In the few moments since Gavin had gone into the kitchen and Rowan had woken up Wisteria, the girls had managed to get icing all over their faces and in their hair. There sprinkles and candies littered haphazardly across the table, spilling from bowls and containers that she was sure Gavin had worked hard to set up while the cookies had been cooling.

Cordelia and Gardenia were giggling as they decorated a dog-shaped cookie together, all rock-related grievances forgiven for the moment. Aurora was leaning over Gavin’s shoulder, watching as he painstakingly lined icing over the ends of the gingerbread house walls and stuck them together.

“Looks like we’re having a fun time,” Rowan sang, depositing Wisteria into a chair before settling next to Gavin. “How’s it going so far?”

“Well,” Aurora said. “Cordelia and Gardenia are trying to decorate a Stella, and I started decorating a mommy and daddy!” She pointed to two half-finished cookies with pink smiles and icing for clothes. “And daddy is building the house!”

Wisteria wiggled in her seat, reaching for a star shaped cookie. “I’ll make stars! I love stars!”

Gavin paused his work, looking up to watch Wisteria start messily scoop icing onto a cookie, his expression soft. “I love stars too.”

Wisteria giggled. “I know! That’s why we watch Star Wars together!”

“And why we go to that cabin and look at the stars in the summer,” Aurora added, her attention back on the two cookies in front of her.

“‘Rora, can I help with the cookies too?” Wisteria asked, reaching over to the cookies in front of her sister. “I wanna decorate mommy and daddy too.”

“You said you were making the stars though,” Aurora whined, pulling the cookies close to her. “I wanna make mommy and daddy.”

“I wanna help!” Wisteria cried, sniffling as crocodile tears sprung into the corners of her eyes.

Rowan leaned forward, ready to intervene, but Gavin wrapped an arm around her, crushing her against his chest and tucking her beneath his chin.

“Wait,” he breathed, so quiet only she could hear. “Maybe they’ll figure it out.”

Aurora pouted for a while, twisting her head back and forth as she looked at the cookies and then Wisteria.

After what felt like ages, Wisteria’s eyes turning blurry from her false tears, Aurora finally sighed, her shoulders slumping.

“Okay, Wisteria,” she said at last, conceding as she wiggled closer to her sister. “We can share the mommy and daddy. But!” She pointed to the star cookies scattered in front of Wisteria. “I get to decorate stars, too.”

“Okay, ‘Rora!” Wisteria sang, wiggling in her seat. “We can share!”

Rowan felt her chest grow tight, her heart aching as she watched them lean over the cookies they were sharing, chattering amongst themselves as they decided on the colours of icing they would use on the cookies. They looked so happy, so content as they worked together.

Gavin hummed, pressing a kiss to the top of Rowan’s head. “Look at them.”

Rowan’s eyes burned, and she swallowed a lump that was forming in her throat. She loved them so much. Couldn’t believe how lucky she was, waking up every morning to her girls trying to crawl between her and Gavin for cuddles. Spending every day with them, listening to them and playing with them and cuddling them as they fell asleep before she’d even set them down for their naps. How lucky she was to share them with Gavin. To see their smiles every day. To listen to their laughs and share these little moments.

“They’re so sweet,” she breathed, wanting to reach out and wrap all four of them in her arms. “I love them so much.”

He kissed her again, his voice low, reverberating through her and sending warmth spilling through her, reaching to her toes. “They’re sweet just like you.”

She snorted, ready to counter with a ‘no they’re sweet like you.’ But Gavin pulled away before she could open her mouth, tipping her head back with one hand before pressing his lips to hers, cutting off her rebuttal.

She felt breathless when he broke the kiss, the world spinning and whirling around her as he smiled at her gently, one hand tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

“No argument,” he said, leaning forward until his nose bumped against hers, his breath ghosting across her lips. “You’re the sweetest person I know.”

She felt her face grow warm, and she closed her eyes, sighing. “If you insist.”

“I do insist,” he breathed, stroking her cheek. “And you have to believe me, okay? I would never lie to you.”

“Okay.”

She could hear the smile in his voice as he brushed his lips against hers one more time. “Okay, good.”

He pulled away, and the evening air felt cold as it washed against her flushed face. She had the urge to bury her face against his chest, to let herself be wrapped in his warmth, to breathe in the smell of him, to feel his heartbeat against her skin.

Gavin’s smile grew wider as he took in her face. “Don’t worry. There will be more of that later.”

Her cheeks burned hotter and she turned away, focusing her attention on the remaining cookies on the table. Wisteria made a gagging sound next to Aurora, muttering about how kisses were yucky, followed by a shriek as Aurora smudged icing on her cheek.

“It’s not yucky!” Aurora sang, wrinkling her nose. “It’s how mommys and daddys say they love each other.”

“Well I think it’s gross,” Wisteria said, sounding utterly perturbed.

“Mommy gives us kisses all the time.”

“It’s different!” Wisteria whined.

Gardenia and Cordelia looked up from their shared cookies, icing smeared over their faces and all over their little hands.

“Mommy?” Gardenia asked, her brows rising.

“What is it, love?” She asked, leaning towards the twins.

Gardenia grinned broadly, standing up on her chair and clapping her hands over Rowan’s face before giving her a big, slobbery kiss on her cheek.

“Kisses!” She exclaimed, looking very proud of herself. “Kisses for mommy!”

Snorting, Rowan scooped Gardenia up, covering her cheeks with kisses. “Now kisses for Gardenia!”

“Mommy,” Cordelia whined, holding her arms up. “Me too!”

Depositing Gardenia into Gavin’s lap, Rowan scooped Cordelia up to rain kisses all over her face too, until her cheeks were pink as a sunset sky and she was squealing with laughter.

She spun around then, plunking Cordelia into Gavin’s lap too, grinning as the girls started climbing over his shoulders.

She sat down, leaning over to whisper to them conspiratorially. “Don’t you think daddy needs some kisses too?”

Gavin’s eyes widened, but he didn’t have time to shake the twins off before they were trying to give him their biggest kisses. He snorted with laughter, his shoulders shaking as he tried to hold the girls steady so neither of them fell, even as they both tried crawling onto his shoulders. 

He laughed, his face red as one of them kissed his ear, the other squealing as she tried hoisting herself over his shoulder to climb onto his head.

Cordelia got one big kiss on his forehead before Gavin was finally able to pry them off, clutching them both against his chest as they wiggled, shrieking with laughter as he tickled them.

Wisteria and Aurora’s eyes widened, and they both giggled as the twins laughed, slowly inching away from Gavin before he could grab them, too.

Which did not work, not as he set the twins into Rowan’s lap and reached out to scoop the other two into his arms.

“And where do you two think you’re going?”

Rowan pressed her face against the top of Cordelia’s head, stifling her own laughter as Wisteria and Aurora shrieked. The twins breathed deeply, gasping for air before whining to get back to their cookies.

Aurora snorted so loud that Gavin laughed, and he hoisted her up and over his shoulder as she squirmed.

“What do you think, potatoes?!” He asked, snorting as Wisteria squealed in his ear as he tossed her over his other shoulder. “Should I tickle mommy next?”

Rowan jumped to her feet, backing away as quickly as she could while the twins giggled in her arms.

“Yes!” Wisteria squealed, kicking out her legs, barely missing Gavin’s face with her feet.

Aurora at the very least, looked concerned as she shook her head, her loose waves bouncing against Gavin’s shoulder. “But you love mommy.”

“I love her smile,” Gavin said, tickling their sides until they both shrieked. “I could see her smile then!”

“I have done nothing to earn this threat,” Rowan cried, biting the inside of her cheek to hold back her nervous laughter.

“It’s not a threat!” Gavin chuckled, but he did stand, taking an awfully threatening step towards her. “I love your laugh and your smile.”

“You can see them without attacking me!” She whined, clutching the twins tighter, as if they would do a thing to help her when they snorted with laughter whenever anyone fell into one of Gavin’s little tickling traps.

He bounced Aurora and Wisteria, earning a string of raucous laughter. “I wouldn’t be attacking you, pumpkin!”

Rowan arched a brow in disbelief, shocked he could even say that with a straight face.

Especially since it was very akin to an attack, with how fast he moved and how easily he grabbed her and held her until she was wheezing, utterly out of breath, her own legs unable to support her weight.

“What if we tickled you, daddy?!” Aurora shrieked, trying to twist in his arms. “Then you won’t attack mommy!”

Wisteria gasped, but quickly followed Aurora’s lead, trying to wiggle in Gavin’s grip and tickle his neck.

“Protect mommy!”

The twins squealed, clapping their hands together, delighted by this change in events. Gavin snorted, clearly not overpowered by the 4 and 6 year old tossed over his shoulders, but letting them climb all over him anyways. Wisteria slumped against his head, wiggling her fingers against his forehead as she giggled and snorted. Aurora tried reaching for his arms and the spots there and on his sides that were ticklish, but every time she got close Gavin just hoisted her up higher, earning a shriek of laughter as she was thwarted again.

Wisteria poked Gavin’s cheek, furrowing her brow as she licked her finger and stuck it in his ear.

“What did you just do, Wisteria Faye?!” Rowan asked, a little astonished by what she just saw.

Gavin’s mouth was open in a small O, his eyes wide as they slowly slid to the side, where Wisteria was snickering as she removed her finger and wiped it on his shirt.

“What did she do, mommy?” Aurora asked, leaning back, having momentarily forgotten about their attack on Gavin.

“She licked her finger and stuck it in his ear,” Rowan said, pressing her lips together to stop herself from smiling as Wisteria looked between them proudly.

“And I can do it again!” She announced, wiggling her finger in the air like it was the scariest, most dangerous weapon in the world.

Gavin continued to blink, looking utterly astounded as he slowly turned his wide-eyed stare fully on his daughter.

Wisteria giggled, patting Gavin’s cheek. “I win, daddy!”

A line formed between his brows as he turned back to look at Rowan. He looked lost, confused, like he’d just been woken up from a very vivid dream and didn’t recognize where he was.

“I think she won, Gavin,” Rowan said, her voice soft. “Why don’t you go and sit down again, babey?”

He nodded, gently setting the girls down before heading back to the table, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“I think you broke daddy,” Aurora whispered to Wisteria.

Wisteria only shrugged, skipping back to the table. “He’ll be okay! Won’t you, daddy?!” Rowan settled the twins back into their seats before walking back over to Gavin and wrapping her arms around his neck. “I think he’ll be okay. Right, babey?”

Gavin’s brow furrowed further, but his expression cleared when Rowan pressed a kiss to his brow. And he sighed when she kissed his nose and his cheeks.

“I’ll be okay,” he murmured, twisting around to wrap his arms around her waist and draw her into his lap. “Although I might need my favourite person for a while.”

Wisteria made a gagging sound while Aurora cooed softly.

“That’s yucky.”

“That’s sweet.”

The girls went back to chattering amongst each other, flicking coloured icing all over the table while Gavin returned to pouring over constructing the gingerbread house itself.

“What would you like me to do?” She asked, leaning her head against his.

Gavin hummed, pressing a kiss to her throat before returning to his work. “Hold me for a little longer?”

She tugged at his ear, earning a small grin. “I meant with the gingerbread. Is there any part of the house you need help with?”

He shook his head. “I think I’m alright. I just like when you’re close.”

“Well maybe I can help the girls decorate the cookies th-”

Wisteria and Aurora both looked up, shaking their heads furiously.

“No! We wanna decorate them!” Aurora cried. “We wanna decorate the cookies for you mommy.”

“We’re making a surprise!” Wisteria sang, wiggling in her seat.

“Don’t tell her!” Aurora hissed, covering the cookies in front of them with her hands. “No helping, mommy!”

Rowan pouted, but turned to the twins, figuring at the very least the littlest ones would want her help.

But they were already ahead of her, trying to hide their cookies too as they shook their heads in tandem.

“No help!” Cordelia cried, matching Rowan’s pout.

“Surprise!” Gardenia announced. “For a surprise!”

Rowan heaved a sigh. “What am I supposed to do then? Nothing?”

Gavin hummed again, pressing a kiss beneath her ear. “Once I put the house together can you help me decorate? As long as the girls didn’t eat all the candy there should be some to decorate with.”

“I can do that,” she murmured, slumping against him. She felt crestfallen, no one really needing or wanting her help. Not even the twins wanted her to help them, even as they dipped their fingers into the bowls of icing closest to them and smeared it over the cookies in hearts and star shapes.

Maybe it was from the dredges of sleep that still clung to her, but she felt a little useless, a little unwanted. She wasn’t as fun as Gavin, wasn’t as strong or silly or exciting. He would heave the girls over his shoulders and toss them around and play with them. He would take them out and race around and tickle them and let them pile over him. He let them sit on his motorcycle, he raced with their little wagon down the street while they all shrieked in joy.

What did she do? Tell them to eat vegetables and help them bathe and tell them to go to bed? Clean up their toys and put their favourite movies on and tuck them into bed. Brush their hair and pick out their outfits. But nothing fun, nothing that would make them really happy.

No wonder they didn’t want her to help.

Rowan squeezed her eyes shut, certain it was just the remnants of her earlier nap making her grouchy. Making her feel unwanted. But still she did, she still felt unwanted and unfun.

She sighed, pressing her face against Gavin’s hair, breathing in the smell of him, trying to distract herself with her favourite person.

“What’s wrong, pumpkin?” He asked, one hand reaching up to cover hers, his fingers twining with hers. “What’s going on?”

She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut tighter. “Nothing is wrong. I’m just a little tired.”

Gavin clicked his tongue, clearly not believing her. “You’re lying.”

“No I’m not,” she whined, trying to wiggle closer, trying to press herself closer against him.

“Yes you are,” he said, his voice dropping to a low whisper.

“Am not.”

He chuckled, prying himself away from her to meet her gaze. “Princess, I can tell.”

She pouted, glaring up at the ceiling as she wrinkled her nose.

His voice was gentle as he spoke again, his hand reaching up to cup her cheek. “Tell me what’s bothering you, sweetheart. Are you hungry? Do you want to lie down again?”

She sighed, letting him draw her attention back to him. His eyes were soft, the kitchen lights making their deep amber a few shades lighter, reminding her of buttery morning sunshine.

“I just feel a little useless,” she murmured, her fingers twisting into the fabric of his shirt. “There’s not much for me to do.”

He arched his brow, but his gaze remained steady as he listened quietly.

“No one really wants my help,” she said, fidgeting beneath his stare. “And I feel like, well, why would they? I’m not very fun so it makes sense no one wants my help.”

Gavin tsked softly, drawing her close again, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “That’s not true.”

“But I do all the boring, unfun things. Telling them to go to bed and eat their vegetables and pick up their toys. Get them dressed and put them to bed. I’m no fun, they don’t want me to help with the fun things.”

Gavin hummed, seeming to think for a moment. “Pumpkin, that doesn’t mean the girls don’t want your help. Or that you’re not fun.”

She pouted, looking away from him.

“Hey,” he breathed, turning her face back towards him. “It means that you take care of them. You make sure they eat, and that they have toys to play with, and that they’re clean and warm, and that they get plenty of sleep. That doesn’t mean you’re not fun. It doesn’t mean they don’t want you, or that they don’t love you.”

She sighed, slumping against him. “But I feel like I am.”

He abandoned the gingerbread house for a moment, rubbing gentle circles against her back. “You’re not, pumpkin. I promise.”

She pressed her face back against his hair, wishing her eyes didn’t burn. Wishing her body didn’t feel so heavy. Wishing her chest didn’t feel hollow and cold.

“What do you want for breakfast tomorrow?” Gavin murmured, pressing his thumbs on either side of her spine and sliding them down slowly, relieving some of the pressure she had been carrying there. “I’ll order your favourites. And you can snuggle with the girls for as long as you want. And we’ll watch all your favourite movies tomorrow.”

“What about things that you want to do?” She asked, her voice cracking.

He hushed her gently, brushing a gentle kiss to her cheek. “I want to make you happy. I want to do whatever will make you happiest.”

She sighed, nuzzling her face into his hair, breathing in the warm, clean smell of her most precious person.

“And,” he added. “I want to sleep in a little later with you tomorrow.”

Rowan pulled away, peering at him with bemusement. “You want to sleep in?”

He smiled up at her, nodding. “I do.”

“Babey, you wake up at 5 every morning to go for a run.”

He shrugged, pulling her close again. “Well I’m tired, and I think you are too. And I think the extra sleep will both do us good.”

He nipped at her throat, and Rowan giggled, butterflies flitting through her. “And it means a little extra time I get to spend with you.”

Aurora wailed, drawing their attention, distracting Rowan from the misery that had been slowly bearing down on her.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, standing from Gavin’s lap and kneeling next to Aurora’s chair. “What happened, little sweet potato?”

Aurora sniffled. “If daddy stays in bed to cuddle you, there won’t be any room for me!”

Rowan blinked, momentarily taken aback. She brushed Aurora’s tears from her cheeks, cooing softly. “What do you mean, love?”

She pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. “Daddy is so big, there won’t be any room for me.”

Rowan bit back a snort as the image of Gavin’s appalled face flashed in her mind. “That’s not true. There’s plenty of room for you.”

“Not with all of us,” she cried, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. “Not with Wisteria and Cordelia and Gardenia and Stella and daddy.”

She curled her legs up against her chest, glaring at the floor. “Besides, daddy always takes all your cuddles when he’s home.”

“Your mommy is my favourite person,” Gavin said, coming to kneel next to Rowan as they both tried to console Aurora. “Of course I want to cuddle her.”

“Wait!” Wisteria squealed, standing up on her chair. “Daddy you can’t cuddle her in the mornings. Aurora and Gardenia get one side, and me and Cordelia get the other! There’s no room for you!”

Gavin pouted. “You’re all so small, there’s plenty of room for me.”

“No!” Cordelia screamed, tears already streaming down her cheeks.

Aurora sniffled, looking up to glare at her sister. “No shouting! You’ll make Gardenia sad.”

Gardenia, in response, had curled into a ball on her chair, pressing her hands over her ears.

“Oh, little tater tot,” Rowan murmured, standing to scoop Gardenia into her arms.

Gardenia whimpered, nestling against her chest.

“You’re okay, love,” she breathed, bouncing her. “You’re safe.”

“Look what you did, daddy,” Wisteria whined. “You made Gardenia upset!”

Gavin scoffed, swivelling his head between his exasperated daughters and Rowan as she helped Gardenia to settle. “How is it my fault?”

“For trying to take all mommy’s attention!”

“Yeah!” Wisteria chimed in. “You get lots of it already when we’re at school!”

Gavin sat back on the floor, crossing his legs as he stuck out his bottom lip more. “Why don’t I get to cuddle her?”

“You can cuddle Stella!” Wisteria sang.

“No!” Aurora cried. “I need to cuddle Stella too!”

“Well what am I supposed to do?” Gavin asked, slumping his shoulders.

Aurora tapped her cheek for a moment, humming. She slid from her chair, padding out of the kitchen, the tuneless melody she was humming trailing after her as she vanished. She returned a few moments later with a stuffed unicorn, delicately placing it in Gavin’s lap before crawling back onto her chair.

“There you go, daddy. You can cuddle Princess Sparkles.”

Rowan bit back a laugh as she knelt next to Gavin, poking his bottom lip.

He raised his brows, looking at her hopefully.

“Tell you what,” she said in a conspiratorial whisper. “I’ll cuddle you extra when they go to bed.”

Gavin’s pout melted away, replaced by a warm look of contentment as his eyes fell closed. “I would like that.”

“Mommy,” Aurora whined, throwing her hands out towards Rowan. “I want cuddles.”

Her heart felt warm, like she was made of sunshine and starlight and all the wishes she had breathed in furtive moments when she had been alone. She balanced Gardenia in one arm, scooping Aurora up in the other before taking a seat on the floor next to Gavin to cuddle them both in her lap.

“How’s that?” She asked, pressing a kiss to the top of Aurora’s head. “Do you feel better?”

Aurora nodded, pressing her face against Rowan’s shoulder.

“Mommy?”

“What is it, little princess?” Rowan asked, brushing Aurora’s hair back from her brow.

“Do I have to go to school tomorrow?”

“Of course not,” Rowan cooed, rubbing her back, biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing as Gavin glared down at Princess Sparkles.

Aurora sniffled, clutching Rowan tighter. “You’re sure?”

“Of course. We’re all on vacation now, love. You don’t have to go to school.”

“I wanna stay home with you,” Aurora whined, snuggling closer.

Rowan’s eyes burned again, although for an entirely different reason this time. Her heart ached even as warmth bloomed in her chest.

“You want to stay home with me?” She asked, skeptical even as Aurora nestled closer.

“Yeah,” Aurora pouted, peeking up from her hiding place against Rowan’s shoulder. “I wanna stay home with you, mommy.”

Rowan opened her mouth, closed it again, her words stolen on a winter’s wind.

“I miss you,” Aurora continued. “It’s cold at school, and they don’t let me make crafts, or draw, or anything. And no one gives me hugs.”

Wisteria crawled down from her chair, flopping onto Rowan’s lap between Gardenia and Aurora. “Yeah, and everyone is stinky at school.”

Rowan snorted. “I’m sure not everyone is stinky.”

“No, everyone.”

Cordelia looked up from her cookies, her bottom lip trembling. “Mommy?”

Rowan’s eyes widened, realizing she was very much stuck on the floor with three little girls piled on top of her, and no way to get to Cordelia to comfort her for whatever had upset her.

But before she could say anything Gavin was already up, setting aside Princess Sparkles to scoop Cordelia up and set her down in Rowan’s lap, too.

“What’s the matter, little tater tot?” She asked, struggling to wrap her arms around one of her littlest girls.

“Was lonely,” Cordelia whined, even as her distressed expression melted away.

She leaned down to press a kiss to Cordelia’s downy hair. “You’re not alone anymore, my love.”

She couldn’t help smiling against her daughter’s hair, feeling very warm and loved. Did they really want her? Did they really love her so much, even if she wasn’t very fun or cool?

Aurora gasped, jerking away, her amber eyes wide as they flitted across the room. “Mommy! You didn’t see our cookies did you?”

Rowan furrowed her brow. “No. Why? Is something wrong with them?”

Aurora shook her head furiously, crawling from Rowan’s lap. “You can’t look at them, mommy. No looking!” She pointed to Gavin, who was watching this little scene with great amusement. “Stay with daddy!”

Gavin grinned. “I wouldn’t mind that.”

Aurora frowned. “Daddy, don’t let mommy see the cookies!”

Gavin nodded, dragging Rowan into his lap as the other girls vacated, quickly returning to their seats.

“Why can’t I see the cookies?” Rowan asked, pouting.

“‘S a Surprise!” Wisteria sang, letting Aurora drag her back to the table.

“Why are you pouting, pumpkin?” Gavin asked, pressing a kiss to her throat.

She crossed her arms, frowning. “Why won’t they share?”

Gavin tapped her lips with his index finger, grinning wider. “It’s a secret.”

She stuck her bottom lip out more, hunching over. “A secret from their mama?”

Chuckling, Gavin pulled her close, until her cheek bumped against his head. “It’s probably for a very good reason.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but he tapped her lips again, before running his thumb over her bottom lip.

“And if a distraction is what you need right now,” he murmured, his ears flushing a rosy pink. “I’m happy to offer one.”

Rowan tugged at his ear, smiling as his rosy blush deepened into a burning crimson. “I might take you up on that.”

Gavin reached up to cup her face, stroking her cheek. “That would make me very happy.”

“Mommy, you’re not looking, right?!” Aurora called.

“I’m not looking, love, I have no idea what you’re doing!” She answered, wrinkling her nose as she muttered quietly to Gavin. “But I wish I did.”

He chuckled, drawing her face close, his nose bumping against hers. “It’s a surprise. When they’re ready they’ll tell you.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but Gavin cut her off before she could.

“Just pay attention to me right now, princess.”

She felt her face growing warm, her stomach dipping as his quiet words brushed against her lips. Her arguments dried up on her tongue, and she was left nodding silently as a grin spread across Gavin’s lips.

He pressed a kiss to her cheek, to the corner of her mouth, to the tip of her nose.

“I love you so much,” he breathed, his hand trailed down her side, twisting into the fabric of her skirt. “I’m glad I get to spend this time with you.”

“I do too,” she murmured, sighing when his lips brushed against her jaw.

He hummed, sounding like he was on the verge of laughter. “Did you like that?”

He pressed his lips to the same spot, a little harder this time. Rowan’s eyes fluttered closed, letting herself sink into his embrace. But then his teeth were scraping against her skin, and she could feel a wicked smile curling at the corners of his lips.

“Gavin!” She gasped, her eyes snapping open.

But Gavin didn’t move away, his tongue swiping over the bite before he moved a little lower, his other hand flattening against her back. He hummed a melody she couldn’t quite place, and she could feel his smile growing wider as her back arched against her will.

She bit down on the inside of her cheek, trying to stop her little gasps from spilling from her lips. Her hands pressed against Gavin’s chest, her fingers twisting into the fabric of his shirt as she balled them into fists.

“You know you’re being awfully mean, teasing me like this,” she managed to grind out, starting to feel a little light-headed.

Gavin didn’t respond, instead sinking his teeth just a little harder than before into the skin above where her pulse was thrumming in a haphazard rhythm.

Her stomach dipped and twisted, like she had been shoved from a cliff, and her toes curled unconsciously. Her vision blurred for a moment, her mind clearing of everything she had been worried about earlier.

Perhaps the only thing she needed to think about was how warm Gavin was, how nice his lips felt against her skin, how the sharp pain that radiated from his bites sent shivers down her spine.

She hadn’t realized she’d made any noise at all until Gavin was pulling away, bumping his nose against hers again.

“That’s a really pretty sound you made,” he teased, his words ghosting against her lips. “I think I want to hear it again.”

She furrowed her brow, confusion swarming her mind as she tried to remember what she had done.

He brushed his lips against hers in a delicate, chaste kiss, her thoughts washing away like sand beneath foaming ocean waves once more. He sighed, smiling against her lips.

“There will be more where that came from,” he murmured, his hands falling to her waist.

Rowan stuck out her bottom lip, hoping she looked at least a little cute, as messy and tired as she was.

Chuckling, Gavin pulled away, running his thumb over her bottom lip. “You know I think you’re adorable, pumpkin,” he said. “But I love your smile more.”

Undeterred, Rowan merely pushed her bottom lip out more, whining softly. But Gavin only smiled wider, shaking his head.

“Later, princess,” he murmured, tucking a loose hair behind her ear. “Once the potatoes are asleep.”

“I’m not going to sleep!” Aurora shouted, sounding incredibly indignant. “I have too much to do!”

Gavin snorted, peering over Rowan’s shoulder. “Oh? And what kind of things do you have to do?”

“I have to make my cookies! And plan a tea party! And plan out the movies I’m watching with mommy tomorrow!” Aurora sang, the sound of her feet stomping chasing after her words.

“Hey! I wanna watch movies tomorrow,” Wisteria cried.

Rowan laughed, turning around to see how the girls were doing.

Or trying to turn around, anyways. Because before she could even  turn fully the girls were shrieking about their surprise and Gavin was grabbing her by the shoulders and yanking her against his chest.

Blinking, Rowan tried to wrap her head around what had just happened. But the girls were still shouting, demanding to know whether she had seen their surprise, crying about not wanting it to be ruined.

She couldn’t even defend herself, or tell the girls that she had not in fact seen their surprise, that she had hardly seen more than the messy kitchen counter that would have to be cleaned later. She could hardly speak at all, squished as she was against Gavin’s chest. She couldn’t even see past the fabric of his sweater, the dark material blocking out everything except a few stray wisps of light.

“Did she see anything?” Aurora cried, sounding incredibly distraught.

Gavin only chuckled, the warm sound reverberating from his chest and reaching deep into Rowan’s bones. “Not at all, sweet potato. I don’t think she saw anything at all.”

“Mommy, did you see anything?!”

She tried to say that she did not, but the words came out muffled, caught as they were in Gavin’s sweater.

Snorting, Gavin loosened his tight grip on her, letting her peel away enough to shake her head. “I promise I didn’t see anything, my love.”

“Promise?”

She nodded, keeping her eyes fixed on Gavin’s shoulder and not on her daughters behind her. “I promise.”

After a few tense moments where she wondered if she would be grilled by her tiny interrogators, Aurora made a satisfied huff before returning to her earlier chattering.

She felt Gavin’s arms tightening around her again, drawing her back against his chest, and she frowned, quirking a brow as she struggled to tilt her head up.

“I think you’re having more fun than they are,” she said, her suspicion lacing her tone.

Gavin shrugged his shoulders, tucking his head over hers. “I just don’t want to ruin the girls’ surprise.”

“Mhmm,” she hummed, pursing her lips. “And you’re definitely not having a good time distracting me.”

“Definitely not.”

She tried wiggling from his grasp, tried meeting his gaze so he would see how little she believed him.

“Okay,” he admitted, his ears turning red. “Maybe I am.”

She reached up to smooth out his bangs, her fingers twisting in his messy hair. “You act like I never give you enough attention.”

He gave her a rueful smile, reaching up to cover her hand with his. “It’s because I’m never satisfied,” he murmured, drawing her hand to his lips, gently kissing her palm. “I will always want more of your attention. I want all of it.”

Her heart fluttered like gossamer butterfly wings, her stomach dipping like she was in a freefall, her body feeling weightless. He kissed her palm again, the amber of his eyes turning gold, glowing brighter than the stars. His lips curved up into a smile as her breath caught, his eyes falling closed for a long moment.

“And,” he added, his voice so low she almost didn’t hear it as his eyes slowly opened, fixing on hers with their brilliant, golden light. “It’s not like you act any different.”

Rowan blanked, her mind reeling as the spell cast around her was broken. Gavin’s smile turned mischievous, the light in his eyes sharper, and her face flamed as she realized he was teasing her.

“Well what do you expect,” she muttered, scowling as she tried yanking her hand from his grasp. “You’re my favourite person.”

He held fast to her hand, pressing his lips to her palm once more before pressing it against his chest. His expression was impish, his words lilting with mischief as he leaned closer. “I’m your favourite?”

She turned her face away, realizing too late she had fallen into his trap. “Maybe.”

“Don’t be like that,” he whined, brushing his lips against her cheek. “I want you to look at me.”

She rolled her eyes, trying not to give in.

Although Gavin didn’t give her much of a choice, not as he gently took her chin and drew her face back to his, his eyes glittering with amusement.

“I said I wanted you to look at me,” he said, leaning close again. “I missed your face.”

“You saw it two seconds ago,” she countered, fighting against her smile as he held her gaze.

“And I wanted to keep looking at it,” he breathed, his words tickling her lips.

“You see it every day,” she protested.

“I could never get tired of it.”

She flicked her gaze towards the floor, where Stella had curled up under their chair, heat crawling across her body.

“Hey.”

She lifted her gaze to meet Gavin’s again, his eyes alight with mischief, a smile tugging at his lips. “You’re my favourite person, too.”

She bit down on the inside of her cheek to stop the giggles bubbling in her throat. Gavin looked far too pleased with himself, and far too delighted as he bumped his nose against hers.

“It’s okay to want attention,” he murmured, squeezing her hand tight. “I’ll always give it to you.”

She flicked her eyes away again, her brow twitching. “I don’t-”

He snorted, his chest shaking with silent laughter. “Then what do you call whining in the morning when I go for my run?”

She pouted. “It gets lonely in bed.”

“And what about when you ask me to shower with you?”

She thought her cheeks might catch fire as she glared at the floor next to Stella’s tail. “I get cold.”

He hummed, playing with a lock of her hair. “And when you ask me to go to the bookstore with you? When we get someone to watch the girls?”

She puffed out her cheeks, pouting more.

“And when you ask to hold my hand when I’m working from home?”

She heaved a sigh, admitting defeat as she slumped against his chest. “Fine, you win.”

He chuckled, kissing the top of her head. “I’m still always happy to give you all the attention you need, princess.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, wrapping her free arm around his waist. “You better. I deserve it.”

“Mommy?”

Rowan hummed, the sound muffled by Gavin’s shirt. Aurora sounded sleepy, her voice whiny and soft. “Yes?”

“Mommy, the surprise is ready now!”

“I can turn around?”

A tiny hand patted Rowan’s side furiously, as though annoyed that they weren’t being given much attention, as if the girls hadn’t shrieked at Rowan furiously for daring to turn around.

“Look, mommy!” Aurora cried, grabbing at Rowan’s hand and trying to peel it from Gavin’s side.

“Daddy, let her go!” Wisteria whined, sounding petulant as she stomped her feet. The sound of nails clicking against the tiled kitchen floors rang out as Stella stood, stretching before ambling over to investigate why the girls were on the verge of a fit.

“Okay, okay,” Rowan said, hoping to pacify them as she disentangled herself from Gavin’s arms. “I’m turning around, see? Now what did you want to show me?”

Aurora pouted as she yanked on Rowan’s hand, and Wisteria continued to stomp her feet even as Stella tried licking some of the frosting from her cheeks.

“You have to look at the table, mommy,” Aurora said, sounding more than a little exasperated. “Come and look at the table!”

“Okay! I’m looking, I’m looking!”

The twins were both curled up on the same chair, surveying their work as proudly as a toddlers could. Cordelia’s eyes fell shut for a long moment, and Rowan could tell she was beginning to doze off, even as the other girls chattered.

“It might be time for bed soon,” she said, wrinkling her brow as she moved to scoop Cordelia into her arms before she tumbled from the chair.

“No sleep, mommy!” Wisteria cried. “No sleep yet!”

“Okay, okay,” she assented. “No sleep yet. But soon.”

“Look at our surprise first, mommy!”

Nodding, Rowan let herself be dragged and pushed towards the table until she could easily survey the “surprise” the girls were talking about.

She couldn’t help smiling, reaching down to ruffle Aurora’s hair as she swept her gaze across the table.

The girls had taken the remaining cookies and iced them themselves, creating an absolute cacophony of colours for Rowan to take in as she tried understanding what they had done. There were snowflakes and flowers and snowmen with fat frosting chunks smeared across them. Bright pink smiles and golden eyes dotted the snowmen, swirls of green melted into blue on the snowflakes, bright red and pink hearts were painted on the stars, and what looked like purple flowers had been sketched onto the candy canes.

And right in the very centre were six little gingerbread people surrounded by cookies dripping in pink and red icing. They each had matching icing smiles and the girl-shaped cookies wore identical red sweaters and green skirts. The lone boy-shaped cookie, which Rowan assumed was meant to be Gavin, was decked in a white shirt with a messy black stripe down the centre and red pants. There was even a gingerbread dog she was certain was meant to be Stella.

“Oh these are beautiful,” Rowan cooed, looking down to find Aurora beaming up at her. “You all made cookies of our family?”

Aurora bobbed her head, bouncing on her toes, her excitement bubbly and effervescent. “And did you see the cookies around them?”

Completely at odds with Aurora’s energy, Cordelia yawned in Rowan’s arms, rubbing at her eyes with two tiny fists. Rowan pressed a kiss to her forehead, nuzzling her downy hair as she took another look at the cookies, this time trying to focus on the ones surrounding the gingerbread family.

They were all the different shapes they had cut and baked, each one smothered in pink icing and pink sprinkles.

“They’re all pink!” Rowan sang, smiling back at Aurora. “They’re all very pretty.”

“They’re for you, mommy!” She announced, wiggling her shoulders as she beamed up at Rowan. “We made them special with your favourite colour!”

Rowan blinked, her eyes burning a little as Aurora continued to grin, as Wisteria came over and clung to her leg.

Wisteria sighed dramatically, waving a hand at Gardenia, who sat wide awake licking yellow icing from a spoon. “It was hard to get Gardenia to do it. She wanted to use yellow.”

Gardenia looked up from her spoon, her amber eyes wide as she looked up at Rowan.

“Mama?”

“Yes, love?” Rowan asked, perching on the chair next to Gardenia as she waved her hands in the air.

Gardenia crawled into Rowan’s lap, levelling the most severe glare a toddler could manage.

“What is it?” Rowan asked, struggling to hold back the laughter bubbling in her chest.

“Yellow,” Gardenia murmured, clutching Rowan’s shirt. “Yellow next.”

“You wanna make something with yellow?” Rowan asked, wiping a splotch of icing from Gardenia’s cheek.

Gardenia nodded furiously. “Yes. Can we paint?”

Rowan leaned down to press a kiss to the top of Gardenia’s head, smiling against her downy hair. “It’s a little late now, tater tot. How about tomorrow?”

Gardenia whined, squirming in place. “Wanna paint.”

“Tomorrow,” Rowan promised. “We can tomorrow.”

“Pwomise?” Gardenia muttered, pressing her face against Rowan’s arm.

“I promise,” she said, kissing the top of her head again.

“Mommy,” Aurora whined, patting Rowan’s leg. “Do you like the cookies? The cookies we made you?”

“I love them,” Rowan sang, smiling at Aurora. “They’re so pretty, I don’t even want to eat them.”

“But you have to!”

“I can eat them,” Wisteria offered, reaching up to grab one of the cookies. Although she didn’t make it very far before Aurora was smacking her arm and dragging her away from the table.

“Those are for mommy!” Aurora scolded, handing Wisteria a snowman shaped cookie. “You can have one of these.”

Wisteria pouted, crocodile tears pooling in the corners of her eyes as she turned to Rowan, her bottom lip trembling.

“Aurora Rose, we don’t hit,” Rowan scolded, struggling to stand as she balanced the twins in her arms.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, gently pressing her back into the chair. “I’ve got this,” Gavin murmured, squeezing Rowan’s shoulder once before crouching in front of Wisteria and Aurora, both glowering at each other now.

“We don’t hit,” Gavin said, taking Aurora’s hand gently. His brow was furrowed, but his voice was even. Firm, but not unkind. “You use your hands for making things, right?”

Aurora nodded, looking like she was also on the verge of crocodile tears, her usually rosy cheeks bright crimson.

“Like decorating those cookies, and painting with your sisters, right?”

She nodded again, sniffling.

“And you use them to hold your favourite toys and to hold mommy’s hands, right?”

She pulled at the hem of her skirt, her bottom lip sticking out. Beside her, Wisteria whimpered, sniffling louder despite no tears falling down her cheeks.

“Then your hands are for good things. Not for hurting your sister. You need to ask her, gently, not to touch something you don’t want her to.”

Aurora nodded again, ducking her head. “I’m sorry, daddy.”

He tipped his head to the side. “You need to apologize to your sister, not me.”

Aurora furrowed her brow, peeking up from her lashes at Wisteria. “I’m sorry, Wisteria. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Wisteria sniffled again before wiping her eyes, her previous pout replaced by a brilliant smile. “S’okay, ‘Rora! I’m sorry for trying to grab the cookies we worked on!”

Gavin let go of Aurora’s hand and stood, the corners of his lips twitching as he turned back to Rowan.

Wisteria and Aurora went back to chatting amongst themselves, splitting the star cookie in Wisteria’s hand between them as they curled up on the floor. Stella tried wiggling between them, but they managed to shoo her away. Although this did mean they sent her straight for Rowan, headbutting her legs in a desperate attempt to earn herself some ear scritches.

“And what do we have here?” Gavin mused, crouching again to scratch between Stella’s ears. “A puppy in need of some pets, and two very sleepy girls.” He tipped his head up, his smile pure bliss as he caught Rowan’s gaze. “And my beautiful wife.”

Rowan smiled, her cheeks growing warm as Gavin reached up to squeeze her arm.

“Not sleepy,” Gardenia protested, drawing Gavin’s attention towards her as she twisted in Rowan’s arms. “Not bedtime.”

Gavin chuckled as he scooped her into his arms. “It’s actually way past your bedtime, tater tot.”

“No!”

He snorted, bobbing his head. “Yes. And you need a bath to get all this icing off of you.”

Gardenia wailed, wriggling in Gavin’s arms until he threw her over his shoulder. “No bath!”

“You’ll be stinky and sticky if you don’t!” He said, seeming far too high-spirited as he stood, turning towards the older girls, still chattering together. “You’ll all be stinky if you don’t take a bath.”

Wisteria gasped, scrambling to her feet and trying to dash towards the living room. “You’ll never catch me!”

Rowan narrowed her eyes, listening to the sound of a wooden lid opening and shutting dully.

“She’s hiding in the toy box,” Rowan said, giggling as Aurora gaped at her, realizing their “secret” hiding spot had been found.

Gavin hummed, scooping Cordelia up into his arms next, cradling her against his chest as she yawned. “Do you want me to bathe them and you can handle the other two?”

Rowan nodded, smoothing out her skirt right before Stella put her front paws on Rowan’s legs, staring at her intently, waiting for pets.

“They’ll need clean pajamas,” Rowan said, scratching Stella’s head. “They spilled all over them this morning.”

Gavin nodded, bouncing the twins gently. “Hear that? I get to pick out your pajamas tonight.”

“They have to be the flower ones,” Gardenia grumbled.

Chuckling, Gavin nodded. “As you wish, tater tot.”

Rowan had to suppress her grin as Gardenia stared at her with the biggest pout and the fakest tears rolling down her cheeks as Gavin carted her away. She’d stopped whining, but Rowan was sure it would start up again the moment he tried putting either twin in the bath.

“Do I have to take a bath too, mommy?” Aurora asked, curling her legs under her.

Rowan nodded, gently shoving Stella to the side when she tried jumping up into her lap. “You’ve got icing in your hair, love. You’ll need to wash that out.”

“Can we use the pretty bubble bath you bought?”

“Of course we can,” she said. “The one that smells like cotton candy?”

“Yes,” Aurora sang, clapping her hands together. “And can I wear my sleeping beauty nightgown?”

“Of course you can,” Rowan said. “But first why don’t we find your sister, and then we can pick out both your pajamas and soaps.”

Aurora turned her gaze towards the floor, her nose wrinkled. “I don’t know where she’s hiding.”

“Oh? You don’t?”

She shook her head furiously, her hair flying around her face. “No, I definitely don’t.”

“So you don’t think she’s in the stuffed animal toy box?”

“No! She can’t be!”

Rowan hummed as she stood. “Sure, okay. Then where do you think she’s hiding?”

Aurora tapped her cheek. “Maybe behind the couch?”

Nodding, Rowan ruffled Aurora’s hair. “Okay, well while I check behind the couch why don’t you run upstairs and get out your pajamas.”

Bobbing her head, Aurora took off, Stella at her heels, their footsteps ringing out as they raced up the stairs.

Rowan did not find Wisteria behind the couch as Aurora had suggested. She’d known Wisteria wouldn’t be hiding there, but figured she would give both girls the benefit of the doubt.

Wrinkling her nose, Rowan headed towards the playroom, muttering to herself as she narrowly avoided stepping on a doll. “Never trust a 6 year old.”

Wisteria was exactly where Rowan thought she would be, curled up in a nest of stuffed animals inside the toy box. And she sobbed as Rowan dug her out, going limp as Rowan tried lifting her up.

“No bath!”

“You need a bath, love. You didn’t take one last night!”

“Daddy doesn’t take baths!” She cried, clutching the edge of the toy box.

“Daddy showers in the morning after his run!”

Wisteria glared at the ground, squealing as Rowan finally managed to drag her from the toy box. “I don’t wanna go to bed!”

“But the sooner you go to bed, the sooner we can paint and watch movies tomorrow, my love,” Rowan promised, sighing as she struggled to keep her squirming daughter in her arms. “And we’ll use the nice new bubble bath you picked out, okay? Aurora is using her cotton candy one, and you can use the sunshine one. And I’ll make sure you have your duckie.”

Wisteria continued to pout, but at the very least she had stopped trying to wriggle out of Rowan’s arms. And her little scowl practically melted away when Rowan tossed her onto the little pillow-covered bean-bag in the room she shared with Aurora. All her favourite blankets had been piled onto it, and it was practically submerged the frilly pillows and oversized plushies dumped onto it.

Wisteria quickly burrowed beneath the blankets and plushies and pillows, curling up into a little ball until only the top of her head was visible from where Rowan stood.

Wisteria sighed, long and loud, squeaking as she nestled deeper into her nest.

“You know you can’t stay in there for long,” Rowan said, snorting as Wisteria whined, yanking a blanket over her head so she was entirely hidden from view.

“We’ve lost her, mommy,” Aurora said, her voice soft as a feather as she padded over to the castle-shaped bookshelf next to her bed. It had been painted when Aurora had been barely a year old, one half a warm ocean blue, complete with white trim that was reminiscent of the frothing ocean waves. The other half had been painted a bright bubblegum pink, with simple white flowers trailing up the sides.

They’d stocked it full of all the books they’d read Aurora before she’d been born, and with all the books she had gotten her little hands on afterwards.

She pulled out a picture book, the cover illustration nearly drowning in pink glitter and different shades of pink. She fell back on her bed, sighing wistfully as she held the book above her head.

Wrinkling her nose to stop herself from giggling, Rowan quickly turned around to search for the girls’ pajamas in their dresser. “What are you reading there?”

Aurora sighed again. “My favourite book.”

Rowan peeked over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of the book clutched in Aurora’s hands. It looked completely different from the book she had said was her favourite the week before.

“I thought your favourite was the space princess one.”

“Mommy, that was last week,” she whined. “Now it’s this week.”

“I see, I see,” Rowan said, humming as she draped two nightgowns over her arm. “And is that the story you want to read before bed?”

“Yes please!”

“Wait!”

Stuffed animals and pillows went flying as Wisteria sat up, roused from her nest by the mention of a bedtime story. “I wanna pick the story!”

“I wanna read my book!” Aurora cried, clutching her book to her chest and wiggling her legs.

“‘Rora you always pick princess stories!”

Aurora sighed. “I love princesses.”

“Well I wanna read the moon book.”

Rowan furrowed her brow, trying to figure out which book Wisteria was talking about. “You mean the one with the moon princess? That one?”

Wisteria puffed out her cheeks, looking away. “Maybe.”

Rowan was setting out the girls’ pajamas and gathering the books they wanted to read before bed when the sound of squealing laughter echoed from down the hall as the bathroom door swung open. Twin voices bounced through the air, hiccuping with laughter at whatever Gavin was doing.

Rowan poked her head into the hall, catching sight of Gavin bouncing the twins in his arms as they squealed. His shirt was glued to his chest, his hair dripping water onto the hardwood floors. He’d clearly tried wrapping them in the little matching towels with the hoods for their hair and the snaps on the towel corners to keep it wrapped around them until they got to their room. But Cordelia had managed to yank the towel off and now Gavin was struggling to keep her wrapped up while she was busy trying to crawl onto his head.

Gardenia hadn’t managed to get her towel off yet, but Rowan could see the focus in her tiny furrowed brow as she picked at the snap. Gavin would yank her hood over her head and she would laugh before trying to pull it back off.

“Cordelia you’re going to get cold,” he wrapped his arm around her middle, tugging her from his shoulder while she shrieked with laughter, trying and failing to keep her from trying to crawl back up to her earlier perch.

Rowan couldn’t manage to stifle her own laughter as Gavin sighed loudly as Cordelia yanked on his ear. His amber eyes flicked to her, noticing her for the first time since she’d peeked out from Aurora and Wisteria’s room. The lines in his brow smoothed, his smile turning soft as he met her gaze.

“You look like you’re going to need a towel too, babey,” Rowan said, grinning as water snaked in shining rivulets down his throat.

“He does!” Cordelia cried, again trying to yank her towel away. “Daddy, take my towel!”

“I don’t need your towel, tater tot,” he said, wincing as she slipped in his arm. “I need you to stay still for a minute.”

Both girls laughed louder in response, squirming more furiously than before.

Gavin shook his head, pausing long enough to press a kiss to Rowan’s cheek right before Gardenia’s foot smacked against Rowan’s stomach in her effort to wiggle as much as possible.

“Your turn now,” he said, sucking in a deep breath as he bounced both twins again, their laughter peeling through the hallway like bells.

A long, drawn out groan came from behind Rowan and she turned to find Wisteria flopping back against her pillow and plushie nest. “Don’t wanna!”

“Come on, baked potato,” Rowan said, scooping Wisteria up into her arms before she could burrow back beneath the plushies. “Let’s go! I’ve got your pajamas ready to go, and we can use your new bubble bath!”

Wisteria flopped back in Rowan’s arms, going limp, as if that would somehow change her immediate future.

“Mommy, can’t I go first?” Aurora whined, clasping her hands together. “Wisteria takes so long.”

“Yes! ‘Rora should go first!”

Rowan narrowed her eyes at Wisteria, who peered up at her with wide, innocent eyes. As if Rowan didn’t know this little scam, as if Wisteria wouldn’t run away while Aurora was in the bath and hide somewhere new and convoluted she’d have to be dug out of.

“I’ll make sure we’re quick, okay?” Rowan said, hauling Wisteria over her shoulder. “It’s already late and you girls need to go to bed.”

Wisteria continued to whine while Rowan grabbed her bath towel and the bottle of bubble bath perched on the girls’ shared dresser before carting her into the bathroom.

“You won’t melt, love, I promise,” Rowan said, shutting the door before she set Wisteria down.

Wisteria continued to pout, looking skeptical as she stared at the bathtub.

Rowan went to get the water running, to warm it up before she set the stopper into the drain, but paused when she stepped in the largest puddle she was sure she had ever seen.

She furrowed her brow, peeking down into the tub to see the remnants of bubblegum pink bubble bath and messy, squiggly lines from the bath-safe crayons the twins loved to use.

It looked a little like a warzone.

Rowan snorted, splashing water around the tub to finish rinsing it properly of all the earlier suds. “It looks like your sisters had quite a good time in here.”

Wisteria huffed, and Rowan heard as she collapsed onto the floor in a little ball.

“Why don’t I get duckie for you,” Rowan offered, heading towards the cabinet where they kept their bath toys. “She’s probably very excited to see you.”

Wisteria sat up, the lines in her brow smoothing out. “Duckie missed me?”

“Of course duckie missed you,” Rowan said, plucking Wisteria’s purple rubber duck from the cabinet. She squeezed it a few times in quick succession, the duck letting out a string of short little quacks.

“See? Duckie is saying how much she missed you!”

Wisteria held her hands out for her duckie, and Rowan placed it into her little hands, relief flooding through her as Wisteria relaxed. She talked in a soft, hushed voice to duckie, updating her on all the gossip a four year old could be involved in.

Once Wisteria was placated it was relatively easy to get her through her bath. Rowan filled the tub with bubbles before dunking both Wisteria and duckie into the foamy water. She was able to wash her hair and rinse it with relative ease, and even managed to get the washcloth between Wisteria’s toes without getting kicked in the face.

Her relief only grew when Wisteria didn’t put up a fight as she drained the bath, gently settling duckie onto a soft, dry cloth and wrapping Wisteria in her fluffiest towel before carrying her back to her room. She got Wisteria changed and snuggled back into her little nest with her favourite books, draping an extra blanket over her, knowing the warmth would make Wisteria extra drowsy.

Aurora was much easier to bathe, and she chattered at Rowan as she prepped the bath and the bubbles and the few bath toys Aurora loved the most. Aurora loved her baths, and used to dance every time Gavin or Rowan got her ready for one when she was smaller. Now she just wiggled aimlessly until the tub was filled, squealing when she was dunked into the rosy pink bubbles.

She did whine a little when the bath was over, but she didn’t put up a fight as Rowan helped her from the tub after and wrapped her in her towel. She only clutched at the plastic doll with the bright pink bathing suit painted on, asking about the crafts she wanted to do over the week, and what presents did Rowan think she would get, and did she think there would be snow for Christmas?

Rowan answered Aurora’s questions as best she could as she scooped her up and carried her back to her room. She couldn’t give much away about the presents, but she did know they would be heading up to a little cottage Gavin had found years and years ago, and there was almost always snow for Christmas there.

The tricky part was how they were going to sneak all the presents there without the girls noticing.

Aurora started singing a medley of her favourite songs, all from different princess movies, as she got ready for bed. Wisteria shot her a withering glare from beneath her nest, but Aurora only ignored her, purposefully singing louder.

“Hey,” Rowan murmured, tucking the blankets up around Aurora’s chin. “Time to stop singing now, love. Your littlest sisters are probably already asleep.”

In fact, now that the room had grown silent, she could just make out the warm cadence of Gavin’s voice as he sang softly to the twins. She could hear the creak of the floor, could hear Cordelia’s little snores, and knew he was probably creeping across the room now, settling them into the cribs.

Aurora pouted, but Rowan quickly picked up one of her favourite plushies and wiggled it in her face. “Hey! You can’t pout, you’ll make Lady Sparkles sad.”

“No,” Aurora squealed, clutching the plushie to her chest. “She needs to be happy!”

Rowan pressed a kiss to Aurora’s brow. “Then you can’t pout, love. You’ll make her sad. She’ll think going to sleep is bad.”

“But I don’t get to play with you and daddy,” Aurora muttered, flicking her eyes to the top of her canopy bed. “It’s lonely.”

Rowan tilted her head to the side, to where Wisteria was still glaring out from her nest. “How can it be lonely when you have your sister?”

Aurora arched a brow, her expression reminiscent of some of Gavin’s incredulous looks. “But she’s in her nest mommy, she’s not here with me.”

“I’m right here!” Wisteria announced, standing up very suddenly and immediately squeezing her eyes shut as she readjusted to the light. “I’m right here ‘Rora!”

Aurora’s expression melted into a soft smile and she sighed, turning her face back towards Rowan. “Okay, mommy. I have my Wisteria back.”

Smoothing back Aurora’s hair, Rowan pressed a kiss to her brow. “I’ll be right back. Let me tuck your sister in.”

Wisteria squealed as Rowan gathered her up before tucking her blankets tight around her.

“Do I have to sleep?” Wisteria whined, wrestling her arms out from beneath the blankets as Rowan piled plushies around her, hoping they would give Wisteria a good enough reason to stay put.

“You do,” Rowan said, settling the weighted turtle plushie Wisteria loved most on her chest. “So you can have lots of energy for tomorrow.”

“What’s tomorrow?” Wisteria asked, yawning as she wrapped her arms around her turtle.

“We’re going to watch lots of movies tomorrow,” Rowan murmured, kissing Wisteria’s little cheek. “And do some crafts. And maybe it’ll snow and we can go and make snow angels.”

Wisteria gasped. “You think it’ll snow?”

“It might,” she said, pulling the blankets up around Wisteria’s chin. “It’s almost Christmas after all, love.”

“Stella loves the snow!” Wisteria sang, seeming to forget about her earlier resistance as her eyes began to droop closed.

“She does! She loves to eat snowflakes!” Aurora added, squealing as the sound of tails clicked on the floors. “Stella!”

Rowan turned just in time to see Stella hopping up into Aurora’s bed, curling up at her feet. Aurora sat up, scratching between Stella’s ears, smiling wide.

“Stella wants to hear a story too, mommy.”

“Well I would never want to disappoint Stella.”

Stella wagged her tail in response, giving one soft woof as she nestled her head against the side of Aurora’s legs.

“The question is though, what story should I read first?”

Wisteria whimpered, her eyes falling closed, her brow wrinkling as she tried and failed to open them again. “Mine… Please, mommy.”

And how could Rowan say no to that?

Perching on the edge of Wisteria’s bed, she read Wisteria’s latest favourite book. About a moon princess who had to save her friends. The pictures were drowning in glitter and vibrant gemstone shades. When she was more awake Wisteria enjoyed running her fingers over the illustrations, gasping at the way the different textures felt beneath her hands.

“They feel like stars,” she would say, speaking in an awed whisper, utterly enchanted by her book.

By the time the story had reached its conclusion, promising a happily ever after for all its characters, Wisteria had fallen soundly asleep, her cheek smushed against her pillow and her turtle clutched safely in her arms.

Rowan brushed Wisteria’s hair back, whispering a quiet I love you, before moving to Aurora’s bed, who’s amber eyes were still bright as the stars hanging in the velvet darkness of the sky. Stella snored soundly on the bed at Aurora’s feet, but Aurora herself remained wide awake, her mouth pulled up into a crescent moon smile as Rowan plucked her book up from the nightstand next to her bed.

“You have to go to sleep too,” Rowan said, arching a brow when Aurora sat up again to run her hands through Stella’s fur.

“I just wanna hear my story,” she whined, keeping her voice low as she flicked her gaze towards Wisteria.

Although there wasn’t really much of a need. Once Wisteria was surrounded by her blankets and plushies, nestled comfortably in a makeshift nest, it was usually only a matter of time until she fell into oblivion. Only the darkest of nightmares or someone scooping her out of her den would wake her.

Rowan kissed the top of Aurora’s head. “You’ll hear your story. But you have to lay back down.”

Sighing, Aurora curled up on her side, tugging her blanket up over her nose. She fluttered her lashes as she peeked up at Rowan, her brows raised expectantly.

Snorting, Rowan took that as her cue to begin reading. Aurora’s chosen book was a bit longer, the illustrations painted in powder pink and baby blue and soft ivory. The colours melted into each other, the edges of each character softened so they seemed to glow. It was a simple princess story, quite similar to Sleeping Beauty, although there was no dragon and the princess and the prince went on an adventure together instead of getting married.

Aurora sighed again, sounding almost dreamy as Rowan reached the last page, her chubby cheeks rosy as she smiled up at Rowan. “That’s a good story.”

“It is, my love,” she said, letting Aurora take the book and tuck it under her pillow. “Are you ready for sleep now?”

Aurora nodded. “I hope I dream of nice fairies tonight.”

“I’m sure you will,” she murmured, kissing Aurora’s brow once more. “Sleep well, my love.”

The girls’ night-lights glowed softly in the shadows of the room as Rowan flicked the lights off and crept quietly from the room. She left the door slightly ajar, for when Stella inevitably got up to go to the bathroom before Rowan and Gavin went to bed, too.

But Rowan had only just turned the hall lights off, not wanting the warm golden light to bother the girls when she felt arms wrapping around her, sweeping her from her feet.

She gasped, wanting to cry out at the surprise, but catching herself at the last minute. She could feel the rumble of laughter in Gavin’s chest, felt his breath tangling in her hair as he pressed his face against the top of her head, trying and failing to keep his laughter quiet.

“Gavin Bai,” she hissed, narrowing her eyes as she tried to wiggle in his arms to glare up at him. Although it was of no use, as he was holding her so tightly against him and his face was completely buried in her hair. All she managed to do was jab her nose into his neck as he walked towards the stairs, shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

He carried her all the way to the kitchen before setting her down on top of the counter, loosening his grip on her enough for her to pry herself free and smack his arm.

“What was that?!” She asked, struggling to keep the smile from her face. “You scared me!”

His brow creased for a moment, concern flashing in his starry eyes, but it soon vanished as he caught the smile spreading across her lips. “I don’t think you were scared.”

“Well I was surprised at the very least,” she said, tipping her chin up as she crossed her arms. “I could have woken the girls.”

He arched a brow. “As if Wisteria would ever wake up after being tucked into bed. And the twins wouldn’t be able to hear you from down the hall and over their white noise machine.”

“I mean they could have,” she retorted, pouting.

His brow rose higher. “And was Aurora still awake?”

She flicked her eyes to the floor, where a splotch of icing was congealing on the tiles. “Yes.”

“Then I don’t think you would have disturbed anyone.”

Rowan wrinkled her nose, glaring harder at the icing. But Gavin didn’t rise to her bait, instead pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I just couldn’t wait to hold you now that they’re asleep.”

She felt her pout slipping away as she slowly slid her gaze back to his, finding his golden eyes alight with joy. “Now we can have time just the two of us.”

Rowan started to smile, right as a yawn caught in her throat, forcing her eyes to squeeze shut as a wave of fatigue washed over her.

Gavin hummed softly, tugging her back against his chest, her head falling against his shoulder. “Although maybe you’re tired, too.”

“I’m not tired,” she whined, even as she melted against him, her eyes falling closed as he rubbed her back.

“Now where have I heard that before?”

She rolled her eyes, her gaze bouncing around the kitchen. “We still have to clean up in here. It’s a mess.”

“I can handle that if you want,” he offered, his words brushing against her ear. “And you can go and shower and get into bed if you’d like. I can bring you something to eat and we can watch anything you’d like.”

She whined again, squeezing her eyes shut. “You want me to shower alone?”

Gavin grew still, his breath catching. His voice was lower when he spoke again, sending gauzy-winged butterflies scattering in her belly. “I can go with you, if you’d like.”

She pulled away, just enough to catch sight of the rosy blush crawling over his cheeks and blooming on the tips of his ears. But her eyes shifted to a splatter of green icing peeking out from beneath his still-wet bangs. She brushed his hair back, delight bubbling in her chest as she swiped her thumb over the stain, smearing it across his brow.

Any headiness that may have suffused the air for a moment dissipated as she giggled, showing him the icing clinging to her thumb. “I think you might need the shower more than me.”

He blinked, bemusement flashing in his eyes. But it was quickly replaced with an impish light as he reached behind her for something, the sound of plastic bowls clattering together. Before she could think, he had swiped his own thumb across her cheek, grinning.

Now it was Rowan’s turn to blink in confusion until he unveiled his thumb and the red icing still staining his skin.

“Now we match,” he teased, swiping it again over her brow. “Although I think you’ll be the one needing that shower most.”

She giggled, trying to turn around to find the bowls of icing he must have moved to the counter when she’d been putting Aurora and Wisteria to bed. But Gavin caught her wrists, stopping her from searching for any more ammunition. He drew her back towards him, his face and ears flushed crimson now.

Which was a shame. Because she had already imagined what he would look like with canary yellow icing over his face.

“Why don’t we head upstairs,” he murmured, still smiling as his eyes flicked to the icing on her face. “And get cleaned up.”

“What about the kitchen?” She asked, shooting another worried look around the room.

It really did need to be cleaned up. And the sooner they did it the better.

“I’ll handle that later,” he said, taking her chin and drawing her attention back to him. “But right now I just want to spend some time with my wife.”

She opened her mouth to argue, the messiness of the kitchen making her stomach churn with anxiousness, but Gavin cut her off before she could.

“Let me help. Let me take care of you.”

She wilted, not having much energy left to argue as she let her head fall against his shoulder once again. “Okay, you win.”

She could hear the smile in his voice as he lifted her up again. “Good. And I believe I remember saying I would take care of the cleanup anyways. And the laundry.”

She sighed, closing her eyes. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything.” He paused, kissing the top of her head. “Except when I knew I wanted to marry you. And when I did marry you.”

She giggled, pressing her face against his neck as happiness danced through her veins like warm summer sunshine.

“And when we decided to have each of our girls.”

She tried pressing closer, smiling against his skin. “You’re sounding awfully romantic right now.”

He coughed, and she felt his heartbeat tripping over itself in his chest. “I’m just telling you the truth.”

She peeled away to peek up at him, catching his warm, bright eyes. “That you really want to clean up the kitchen and finish the laundry?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “No. That I love you. And when it comes to you, to making you happy, I’m always sure.”

She nestled back against him, feeling a little like she was made of sunshine and spun sugar and glitter stars. Like she was all the vibrant colours and sparkles in Wisteria’s book, and all the soft colours melting together in Aurora’s.

“You do make me happy,” she murmured, holding his gaze. “You always make me happy. Whenever you’re close.”

“Then I’ll stay right by your side,” he breathed. “I’ll stay at your side forever.”

“And that includes in the shower?”

He laughed, the sound bright and cheerful, the seed from which all her happiness could bloom. It reminded her of the wind in the trees, of the melody of her favourite songs, of the light of the first stars filling the midnight sky.

“Especially in the shower,” he said at last, still grinning.

“Just in case I trip,” she said, feigning seriousness. “Showers are dangerous, you know.”

“I’ll keep you safe, then,” he said, voice soft as feather down.

“I’ll keep you safe, too,” she whispered, her body starting to grow heavy as the last of her energy began to drain away. “I’ll stay by your side forever, too.”

“That’s all I want,” he said, shouldering their bedroom door open before setting her on the bed for a moment. He paused, leaning down to peer at her. “Although there is one more thing I want.”

She furrowed her brow. “What is it?”

He cupped her face in both hands, his bangs tickling the skin of her brow, his breath tangling with hers as he leaned close.

“I want this.”

And when he pressed his lips to hers, she felt nothing but the warmth of his love, of his happiness, of the embrace he wrapped her in. She was swathed in his unwavering love, and her heart felt as though it were overflowing with her own. The world melted into pinks and reds and blues and brightest golds.

And as he embraced her, as one of his hands slipped into her hair, as her lips parted for him, as her hands twisted into the material of his shirt, she knew that this was everything she could ever want. She was not a moon princess like in Wisteria’s book, or a magical princess like in Aurora’s. She wasn’t a hero or a powerful fairy like in the girl’s cartoons, or a noble lady or sorceress like in her own shows.

But she doubted very much that she needed anything particularly special, because surely none of that could create the happiness that she felt with Gavin. None of that could compare to him and to the life they had made together.

She didn’t need to dream of fairies when she fell asleep at night to feel content. She just needed to know she would wake up and he would be there beside her. And she didn’t need to live in a storybook to know that, even when she was tired or grumpy or sad, today was her happily ever after. And tomorrow would be too, and the next day and the next, and every day after.

She was tired, and her face felt itchy from the icing as it dried, and the messy kitchen still worried her. But she had her beautiful daughters. And Gavin was here beside her. And that made every moment utterly, immeasurably special.

[vilify]

LIGHTLESS

[cas-kingdom]

"You did this to get my attention and now you fully have it. Let's hear it"

W/ John (Winchester) and your OC ❤️

A/N: This is the same reader as my other SPN fics, but since she’s so young I decided to keep her as my OC.

"You did this to get my attention and now you fully have it. Let’s hear it.”

Lily stood trembling behind her father’s legs, gripping the material of his jacket. He had one hand grazing her shoulder, a needed reminder that she was still alive and hadn’t been taken by the damn shifter just ahead of them before he’d arrived, the other gripping his gun.

He could tell it was a weak shifter, perhaps out alone for the first time in its miserable life, because it seemed to be flickering between reality and illusion. The image it had possessed to lure Lily out had John warring with his conscious and whatever was beneath that. Though he had the gun in his hand, loaded with silver bullets, he was struggling with his instincts. Because if the shifter had taken the form of anyone other than her, it would have been dead the moment he’d seen it.

The fragility of his mind was dangerously proved when the shifter’s crooked mouth opened and a silver blade suddenly ripped through its heart. The world seemed to stand still as John watched it crumple to the floor, a familiar wave of emotions spilling over him as he stared at its dead body. 

“The hell, Dad?” 

John snapped his gaze up to see Dean, holding the bloody knife in his hand. He looked surprised, and John knew it could be a reaction to one of two things: the fact he hadn’t killed the shifter while he’d had an obvious opening, or the sight of his ten-year-old sister standing behind him.

When John didn’t reply, Dean circled the shifter and bent over to peer at the face. His expression warped immediately once he caught it and he straightened quickly and swallowed, twisting his face in displeased understanding.

Before he could ask anything further, if that had indeed been his intention, John sobered and spun to face Lily. He grasped her little shoulders and shook, once and hard.

“What don’t you understand about ‘stay in the car’?” he all but yelled, the danger of the situation finally rushing back to him. He and Dean had been flushing out a shifter nest in Illinois, one of the first hunts since Sam had left for Stanford. John had parked the impala in the trees and given Lily strict instructions to stay put while he and Dean did their job, Sam not being there to stay with her at a motel. Lily had done as she’d been told for the first half hour, writing in her notebooks while she munched on a makeshift dinner of cereal bars and sandwiches, but the shifter had made her forget. She’d seen its face, its blonde hair, its blue eyes, and she’d opened the door. She was only lucky John had been on his way back, and they’d both been luckier that Dean hadn’t been far behind.

“Did you wanna get killed? Huh?” John shook his daughter again, his face the picture of terrified rage. He saw her bottom lip quiver and her brows knit together above wide, cloudy eyes as she stared up at him. 

“Sorry,” she muttered, her voice shaking, “but I—it was Mommy—Daddy, I saw Mommy and I wanted to say—just to say hi!”

John pressed his lips together in a thin line as his own vision became clouded with tears. Lily looked so much like her. So much like his Mary. The real Mary, not the obscured picture he’d seen just seconds ago before Dean had destroyed it. He often forgot that Lily had seen her mother in photographs alone, never having been privy to the beautiful reality of her hugs and her voice and the face that no shifter could truly replicate. Lily had been taught of the dangers of the world. She knew how to shoot a gun and how to throw a knife. But she’d never been taught that her mother had been anything other than safe.

With a quick, releasing breath, John pulled Lily to him, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her feet from the ground. “That wasn’t Mommy, baby,” he whispered. Lily nuzzled into the crook of his shoulder, her own tiny arms gripping the back of his jacket.

“Looked like Mommy,” she mumbled back.

Dean had made quick work of removing his jacket to cover the shifter’s face. He squeezed one of his sister’s hands with a sigh, recognising that John was still reeling.

“It looked like Mommy,” he said, “but it wasn’t her, Lils. It was a monster pretending to be her, you know that, right?”

Lily blinked so innocently it made Dean’s heart clench. The words were cruel, but he knew they’d stick with her.

“I know,” she spoke barely audibly. “Mommy has a prettier smile.”

SPN Masterpost

send me the first sentence of a fanfic and i’ll write the next five, except i don’t know when to stop writing so i guarantee there’ll be more than five