#sorry late night ramblings so tired

[sentientsky]

armand is so fucking pretty. genuinely WHO allowed tbis

[zhongrin]

it's hackathon week next week and there are so many things i need to do (passport renewal, accommodation stuff, dental appointments, packing for flight, chores, etc), so i apologize if i'm kind of inactive or off in this blog or discord!!

[skillzissue]

God damnit I hate it here- the ONE time I try to fall asleep ON PURPOSE to get at least SIX HOURS of sleep and do EVERYTHING RIGHT RO SCHOOL TMR, I turn on my sleepy playlist and around two hours of light ‘napping’ I hear a huge THUD and suddenly my phone is just. Gone.

Where is it, you might ask? Behind the bed, ofc-BUT get this. It’s not behind the bed where I call just reach down and grab it from the side where I’m at. After listening to the sound I discover that it is behind the head board.

The fucking head board. How did it fail there??? I DONT KNOW. 😭😭🙏

But since my sleepy time playlist is still playing and I’m rlly tired, I end up just falling asleep for a couple hours but then suddenly, for no reason at all, I JOLT awake in a PANIC.

Like my eyes fly open and I’m suddenly just. WIDE awake. As if I never fell asleep in the first place. Cue me trying to get my phone out from it being WEDGED between the head board and wall for a fucking hour 💀

I ended up having to grab one of my drum sticks, taping a piece of card stock paper to the end of it and putting a bunch of tape on the end of that.

Yes I walked around my house like a bird looking for things for its nests.

No bc seriously it was a long, long hour of trial and error using the most random household objects you can imagine 💀AND I had to try to be quiet bc guess what??

MY SISTER SHARES MY ROOM. so not only was I trying to do this quickly as possible, but as QUIET as possible and it literally was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced 💀🙏

Now it’s 5 am, I’m not tired despite at ALL (but I know I will be bc it’s not the insomnia type of awake but the adrenaline type) I have school in less than 3 hours, and I’m debating wether I should go back to bed or do my homework or AAAAHDHDJ THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE ANYTHING NICE 😭🙏

[that-was-anticlimactic]

just accidentally spilled an entire water bottle on my bed :)

took my sheets off and put a towel over it. then looked up what to do just in case and. like everything said "use a fan" and "mold could happen so be careful" and now i am Terrified of getting mold since so much spilled and since i don't have any fans. i am so tired oh my god i just want to go to bed

[tacit-semantics]

Trying to fall asleep at 11:45 in the morning deeply confused as to why it’s not working

[silverselfshippingchaos]

r.une is so awesome! he's the kindest guy ever and I always drop by the thieves guild whenever I'm not doing anything just to hear his pretty voice

[everybody-loves-purdy]

I'm never really satisfied with the discussions of ableism in this fandom, and I think its because not enough people akcnowledge the very foundation of the series, "a cult developed around choosing to live a harsher life they find more satisfying to live to the point of arrogance", is inherently ableist. The clans don't live in a vaccuum, they live in a world where they could go off and find a twoleg within a few weeks who would take care of them entirely, and the series, especially the first arc, entirely opperates under the premise that if a cat can't cut it as a warrior then they should go live a oft kittypet life.

At its core its a neutral fact, their lifestyle is harsh and not suitable for every cat, and more levelheaded cats in the series treat it as such, but their society as a whole puts itself on a pedestal and looks down upon amyone who isn't up to snuff. I think too many people act liek this is an unintentional problematic aspect when it is portrayed as being part of their flawed and problematic society. Especially firestar's story was about admiring the positives of this society and yet willign to step back and view it form an outside perspective to see where things could do better and this society could evolve instead of remaining in its current stagnant and insular state. That's why clan cats look at Cinderpelt and Snowkit and Brightheart and completely accept the terrible fates they were going to be given for being "weak" and why firestar stepped to at least try to change that. He creates a society thats better about it but still has many a flaw, in which sometimes they fumble backwards and sometimes they take steps forwards, and they learn to be a more complex and compassionate society. Its not so black and white or linear either, as before the prequels scrambled to justify them there was the implication that because of how they glorify warriors and defending their clan they also wear scars and wound slike badges of honour, being renamed in honour of them, and it was only through brighthearts case and firestars alternative perspective that they began to see how it wasnt so great.

This is a weird ramble and probably incoherent, sorry. Warriors has a lot of ableism problems, and I just would like to see it discussed more not in just the meta context, but in story as well. Its a very interesting thing to view the warriors society as the dynamic every changing society it is in the same way we examine character slike hollyleaf who change- maybe not always as the authors intended, but still making something worth examining and expanding on. I think if we think about it that way it is very interesting to see the push and pull of their society, and how it affects the characters that are most inherent marginalized and also glorified. I think looking at it in story more could add more to the meta discussion.

Yeah I think I get where you’re coming from

One detail I find a lot of people forget is that ThunderClan never pressured Jayfeather into the medicine den, StarClan did. Firestar was very open to the idea of Jaypaw training as a warrior and never tried to put a barrier in place for him. And Briarlight was going to move back into the warriors den and presumably try and take on more responsibilities as she felt more ready to but that was just something that got completely forgotten once Vicky left, who knows what Briarlight’s fate could have been if that plot thread wasn’t literally just forgotten.

I think the main issue people have is that we yet haven’t many prominent characters who have managed to escape from the box that the clans’ integrated ableism wants to keep them in. Particularly cats who have disabilities related to loss of limb function, hearing impairment, and sight impairment in both eyes. Sure we have Deadfoot and Volewhisper but this was almost all done offscreen. And while we do have characters with missing tails, apart from Halftail, these characters just aren’t treated as disabled by the narrative, half the time the books forget they’re not supposed to have tails!

I feel at this point like you say if we were to have a significantly disabled main character warrior, they probably would have to face in-universe ableism to some degree (as horrible as it is) because it just would be odd not to considering the ableism that has just continuously existed within the clans. If a deaf cat decided to become a warrior, there would definitely be those in-universe who wouldn’t approve because there hasn’t been a deaf cat born in the clans (that we know of) since Snowkit. Several characters probably just wouldn’t be able to comprehend the idea of someone functioning perfectly fine without hearing because it’s a concept almost completely new to them. It would be a very satisfying story I think to see this deaf character just ultimately prove them wrong, obviously they would face challenges and need to adapt differently to their clanmates, but in the end once they get the hang of things their own way, it could be a very satisfying conclusion. I think this or a similar concept would be something interesting to see tackled and challenged in-universe. But given the track record for author ableism with these books, I wouldn’t hold my breath about it being non-offensive and actually good representation.

[elytrafemme]

feelin anxious nd not like a person. i need to sleep before 2 am these days more but whenever i get stressed i want to resolve it and i should probably realize that this isn't going to happen and my anxiety is maybe bad again. or something

[the-kipsabian]

done with the second worst part of cleaning, i have vacuumed

[whyoneartheven]

yknow the fact that my tiny doodle of edward elric got so many notes is actually pretty great because it turns out he is very fun to draw

[kimmimaru]

So, I struggle to sleep. My brain will just refuse to shut the fuck up, basically. So I started listening to sleep stories, just to give myself something other than my own thoughts to focus on. It’s worked ok so far, found some that have helped. Anyways, the issue I have is that there are some pretty long pauses between paragraphs in some of them, so the voice will fade away and there’ll be soft music or rain sounds and I’ll be juuuust on the edge of sleep and then the guy will start talking again. It scares the fuck out of me lol. Makes me jump every bloody time. His voice isn’t even loud at all, its very soft and gentle sounding but it’s so unexpected that it jerks me awake again.  Also I use youtube because I don’t know anywhere else (no, I won’t use audible. I already pay for prime, don’t want to fork out extra). I did find one story I enjoy read by Stephen Fry, there’s just something so nice about his voice. And he doesn’t do the long pauses so that’s a bonus. And I really hate that ASMR stuff. It’s weird and uncomfortable.  I just wish I wasn’t so sound sensitive because any deviation from the usual night time noises wakes me up and once I’m awake, I’m awake and there’s no chance I’m going back to sleep. For example: People outside. I live in a usually quiet place, countryside close to some woodland. So when my neighbours come home drunk from the pub and stand outside chatting (I say chatting, its more like they’re so pissed they have no concept of ‘quiet’ and are just shouting at one another) if I was asleep before, I will wake up as soon as I hear their footsteps. The pair of owls who seem to live in the trees outside my house? Loud fucking birds. They like to scream at one another for a good long while. Foxes? Also loud fuckers. Hedgehogs? The worst. Grunting and sniffing. Cats? Ffs no one needs to hear that. My neighbour deciding to cook a whole fucking meal at 3am? Chop, chop, chop, bang bang bang, crash. Microwave ping. Jesus christ. (not to mention the thuds as they walk around in their flat, that’s not their fault though). People opening their windows? So. Loud. Ever listened to big ass Victorian mental hospital windows open? It’s not fun when you’re trying to sleep and then suddenly have the awful feeling that its not a neighbour and someone is, in fact, breaking into YOUR house, through your window even though it’s locked and you have a massive dog who hates other people down stairs. So then you have to get up and wobble your sleepy arse down stairs to make sure. Also the noise from the pipes, the general sounds of other people’s TV’s (is that ghosts having a meeting in your living room? No, it’s your neighbour watching some late night television). And then...and then there’s the sound of electricity. That shits annoying. No one ever believes you either, you can insist until you’re blue in the face that yes, the walls ARE making sounds but no, you’re crazy. It hums. And it’s not tinnitus either.  And yet...and YET, I also can’t sleep in perfect silence either. Because it drives me insane and it comes back to having to listen to my own thoughts. Which is not good. Night time me is mean. So, thank god for fans and sleep music/stories. So long as its not ASMR, don’t have long pauses so you end up with an accidental jump-scare and it sounds like Stephen Fry.

[simonambroise]

I know its just super uber totally late at night talking but just think about........ how big the universe is. And how tiny human people are. But also don't forget we are also tiny human people. Atoms are so small we can't see them, but they still have an effect on life, on things that are so much bigger than itself.

There are eight billion people on a tiny rock in the void. Eight billion, living, breathing human people. Isn't that amazing? Isn't that beautiful? We aren't alone, because we cannot be alone. There are EIGHT BILLION PEOPLE LIKE US. They may not speak our language, they may not dress the same. They may have different gods, or no gods at all. But its an indisputable fact that we are the same, because we are human. Good, bad, come hell or high water, we're human. Isn't that amazing?

We are never alone. We can't be alone. There are eight billion of us. There's always someone out there for you, you just haven't met them yet.

Think about the effect eight billion atoms could have. On each other, on the world.

There are eight billion of us. God, we're going to be amazing.

[maskedkara]

This list ticks me off so much because a huge part of art is pushing boundaries, expressing complex emotions and addressing/reflecting/discussing all aspects of reality, even those that may make us uncomfortable and upset. That's literally the importance of art: a means of reflecting on and communicating about our world, including its flaws! It's supposed to make you feel and think about any subject, be it happy, enraging, terrifying or depressing (or any other feeling really). Art doesn't always need to be beautiful to be considered valid and meaningful as art. It just needs to convey a message. It can be a very simple message or a complex one, a happy or sad one, an easy or painful one...anything. It just needs to mean something.

For example, Everywhere at the End of Time is 100% an artistic masterpiece exploring the devastating effects of dementia through music. Does it make me feel good? Heck no! Stage 4 is probably the most gut-wrenching auditory experience I've ever had! I experienced a sense of calm and acceptance near the end (halfway through stage 5 to the end of stage 6) but, in the back of my mind, the fact that I felt that way was still deeply terrifying in context.

The important part of EatEoT wasn't whether or not it was beautiful (though, admittedly, I do casually listen to some tracks in stages 1-3 because they sound cool), it was the awareness it tried to raise regarding the struggles of those dealing with dementia and the empathy it sought to inspire. I learned about dementia my first time in college (I'm not an expert; we learned a bit about it since it was a field with a lot of elderly clients and we needed to know a bit about it so we could better understand and help them) and, while it did provide me with plenty of empathy already, EatEoT was what really drove home for me how devastating dementia is in a way that simply describing a list of symptoms and retelling a few anecdotes could not. That's a very valuable message but it doesn't feel good. It's heartbreaking. It's capacity to express the grim reality of its subject matter to the extent that I feel genuine heartbreak for even a moment, followed by that peaceful, grim acceptance that nothing else has ever made me feel before or since, is what gives it artistic value. Legit, I'm half-convinced that the eerie peace I felt is what accepting the inevitability of the end is like! I don't think I'll be feeling that again for a long time, nor do I want to, but the fact that a piece of music is what brought that out in me is simply awe-inspiring!

To sum it up (in case you skipped over my rant or it wasn't as clear as I wanted it to be), art's value doesn't come from which specific emotion it makes you feel or how 'pretty' it is but it's capacity to communicate things in a way that makes you truly feel and understand them on a deeper level than just reading about it in a stale, boring textbook or dry, no-nonsense article. It's about whether or not it makes you think about or consider it's subject in a way you otherwise wouldn't. Will you always feel or think what the artist meant you to? No, but the fact it made you feel any emotion or think about any interpretation is what matters here.

Anyway, disorganized late-night rant over. This list is annoying and I hate it.

Tag yourself as this list of “bad art” features, according to a twitter fascist

[taatdragun]

God just need to scream into the void real quick because I am so fucking tired of the state of the world currently

[sunhee27]

☆ Thing Enhypen do at night/ when they are sleeping.

• 엔하이픈 ୨୧ f ! r・fluff established relationship ・kisses, petnames (^-^) pls reblog if you like it and requests are welcome.

(Sorry some of the letters are big, I can’t change it) :(

• 𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 (이희승)

-Pouts

The man pouts! Yes he does, especially when sleeping. It’s honestly the cutest thing ever. Of course he denies it, and that makes it even more cute in a way. “I don’t pout!” He whines into your ear after he is begging for a kiss and you tell him that you will only give him a kiss if he admits that he pouts in his sleep. He hugs you and cuddles you while whining. He whines again at you. “Kiss me!!!! >:(“ He ‘cries’ into you ear to which you just give in. You can’t help but give him a little peck on his pouty lips when he is snuggled against you.

-Switching spots

Do you know what I mean here? probably not. But like once you are asleep, you will turn to the other side, which Heeseung doesn’t like because he likes you facing him to hug you against his chest. Or sometimes he likes back hugging you. So when you turn around, he IS gonna scoop you up and put you on his side of the bed, and he will switch to being on your side of the bed, so that he can hug you in his desired position.

(Rest of the members under the cut)

• 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐀𝐘 (박종성)

-Stealing blankets

It’s tiring and it annoys you, but you kinda live for it when he steals your blanket. He doesn’t even seem to notice himself. It’s just a habit he picked up. If he steals yours, you steal his! And that goes on and on. But you don’t complain…only a little. “Stop stealing my blanket at night.” You say. “Man, but yours is always warmer.” He pouts. “Get over it. You can just hug me if it is.” You scoff. “I would…IF I COULD CONTROL MYSELF WHEN I AM SLEEPING.” He argues back pulling you by the waist. “Fine. It doesn’t bother me more than that. But only because I love you so much.” You give up.

-Strokes your hair

When he notices that you have fallen asleep, he will just stroke your hair as a reflex almost 😅 And sometimes you will stir awake, to which he apologises faster than light itself. But honestly you only woke up because it felt nice to have your hair stroked.

• 𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄 (심재윤)

-Talks

Who would’ve thought, jakey jakey talks in his sleep. He mumbles and talks, rambling about his day, about you 🥺 You voice recorded him saying that you were his princess. And it may have boosted his boyfriend ego. “Did I say that?” He laughs at it. ”Clearly yeah.” You giggle back, he connects your foreheads. “Do you know what that means?” He hovers over you in the bed. ”No” you giggle again. “That I am obsessed with you.” He smiles.

-Does tasks

Broski think you go to bed too early, even if he is the first of all members to go to sleep. So he will just cuddle up with you until you fall asleep, and then… get ready for bed. Doing tasks, all sort of tasks. And you would wake up slightly, still half in dream land. ‘it’s just an illusion’ he would say when he notices that he woke you up. Because he doesn’t want to make you feel bad for making him cuddle with you until you fall asleep, even if he loves doing it.

• 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍 (박성훈)

-Lightly snoring

Idols don’t snore… Bullshit! At least this man does. It’s cute when he makes small noises and groans at night. And he knows that he does it. And only just nervously laugh when the topic is brought up. His members tease him with it too. “I know I snore, but let’s just act like I don’t!!!” He says in an embarrassed tone. “But it’s cute.” You giggle. “No…” he pouts. But you will truly never stop teasing him about it.

-Swings leg around you

He sleeps late, looking at his phone. And out of nowhere he will probably swing a leg or two around you. Like they are heavy man! But you don’t mind it when he then pulls you closer with his legs :D Cute man indeed

• 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐎𝐎 (김선우)

-expressions

Believe me when I say. I think he dreams a lot. And his face shows it all, happy, sulky, mad, frustrated, scared. And as soon as you notice he is having a nightmare and breath is uneven, you will wake him up. And he will squirm before noticing it’s just his sweet girlfriend who is before his eyes. “You scared the shit outta me. But thank for waking me up.” He would say. And he would ask you to hug him for the rest of the night.

-Go to sleep early and wake up in the middle of the night

The title says it all. He would go early think it would be good for his beauty sleep. But he would then wake up in the middle of the night not being able to sleep at all. And would literally not give a shit about YOUR beauty sleep, and he would wake you up to gossip together until you both fall into slumbers again.

• 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐍 (양정원)

-Get cold and crawl under the blankets

It’s so cute to watch the little kitten crawl all the way under the blankets at night. Like he would roll himself into a little ball under the warmth of his blanket and then snuggle up to you. “Bllrr, it’s so colllddddddd.” He shivers. “Do you need an extra blanket.” You laugh sitting up beside him. “If you are the blanket, then yes.” He teases.

-Dry lips

Don’t ask me how he would literally, feel in his sleep, that his lips are chapped. But he would a million times in a night. And of course he would make sure to gloss up your lips too. So that his pretty girl is also satisfied with her lips in the morning.

• 𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐈 (西村力)

-Moves a lot

He would absolutely destroy you, crush you with his six feet long body. He would roll in his sleep without noticing it and before he knows it you are about to fall of the bed. “Nikiiiiii, you are so heavyyy.” You whine under him. And shit he would wake up and be so embarrassed by it. “Sorryyy.” He would laugh. Definitely forgiven 👍

-Get up and get snacks

He would do something like this. He would wake up hangry. So he would check out the fridge then the pantry and then whatever else there is, before deciding to just toast a piece of bread. And then you would pop up and you would end up sitting in comfortable silence eating bread together.

[wewillryes]

My brain is so fried from drawing when did art get so stressful the agony of it ALL