#sorry it's modern!AU
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This man is like a girlfriend to me
#sorry it's modern!AU#not sorry enough not to post it tho#fallen london oc#elliott marsh#no image id#look at my art boy
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🩷💛🩵 Pan Pride 🩷💛🩵
astarion is grumpy because he thought there would be more naked twinks and debauchery based on the complaints in the editorial section of the baldur’s mouth gazette
jaheira and minsc are on the side doing that tiktok “talk valentina!”/“ally!” bit
#me: i will dumb this down so i dont spend too much time on it#also me: SPENDS 11 HOURS ON THIS#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#bg3 modern au#baldur’s gate#bg3 companions#the tadfools#wyll#karlach#shadowheart#astarion#gale#bg3 tav#tav:horith#laezel#minthara#halsin#Sorry if those last three show up in the tag theyre so small in this aksjdfl;aksdj;#my art#bg3 fanart
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modern link and zelda because they’re cute and i can do what i want <3
#autism boy and their lovely tall gf#mmhmm#sorry my internet connection has been iffy lately hhhh#so what if I just wanted to draw link with a prosthetic arm huh what about it#the legend of zelda#loz#zelda#tears of the kingdom#totk#breath of the wild#botw#modern au#loz au#totk zelda#totk link#botw Zelda#botw link#botw zelink#totk zelink#zelink#loz fanart#totk fanart#art#my art
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Childhood friends AU: Reunion.
For anon, who donated to @bingyuanserver's Commissions for Gaza.
#bingyuan#scum villian self saving system#childhood friends au#modern au#my art#thank you for the donation!#also very sorry for the late posting#hope the piece is to your liking
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Traveling modern AU Chilshi
There was more but I’m too lazy to finish it right now
#my art#artwork#digital art#art#artists on tumblr#digital arwork#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#chilchuck#senshi#chilshi#modern au#dungeon meshi modern au#flertom#meijack#puckpatti#izutsumi#sorry to asks I haven’t gotten to yet I’ll be drawing more soon
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✦ All ears ✦
#sorry about being so syrupy#own art#own characters#CanisAlbus#art#artists on tumblr#Vasco#Machete#anthro#sighthound#dogs#canine#animals#modern au#gehtsis#Vasco has a penchant for dad jokes#Machete has heard every ear pun in existence
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Your Roommate Sukuna
“That Time He Sabotaged My Date”
Modern no curse AU, Sukuna X Reader
Synopsis: This housing crisis sure is no joke huh? Rent is just too expensive to live alone, so you put out a listing for a roommate and ended up living with none other than the tattooed bad boy Ryomen Sukuna! This is part of a series of drabbles and oneshots showing glimpses into you and Sukuna’s living situation!!
Contains: yandere(ish)!Sukuna, fluff but he’s kinda very toxic, stalking, fem implied reader (wearing a dress and heels), brief mention of a bomb (there aren’t any bombs present), narration is from Sukuna’s POV
Word Count: 1.78k
Series Masterlist - My Full Masterlist
Whoever decided this dingy shithole is a decent place to take you on a date should be fucking shot.
Maybe it was wrong of Sukuna to eavesdrop on your private conversation this morning, but in his defense you were talking on the phone loud as hell in the middle of the living room. Should’ve been quieter when you were telling your friend about the date you had planned for tonight.
And maybe it’s weird that Sukuna secretly followed you here to keep an eye on you, but it’s not like he has nefarious intentions. He’s heard of this place and one, it’s fucking gross, and two, it’s got one hell of a reputation to say the least. Definitely the kind of place for someone to get murdered, he’s just watching out for your safety!
Oh christs sake, who is he fooling? No, he followed you here because he’ll be damned if you get a boyfriend.
He feels like a creep, sitting at the bar behind your table in a black hoodie and an old baseball cap, eyes fixed on the back of your head. The guy sitting across from you is so bland, yet for some reason you’re still giggling and twirling your hair around your finger as if you don’t know that you can do so much better.
There was no need for you to doll yourself up for this fuckin’ loser; you’ve got on a pretty red dress and stiletto heels, probably anticipating him to take you somewhere nice, decent, at least. But he brought you to some run down shithole restaurant that hasn’t been renovated since the 70’s and is definitely bearing several health code violations. It’s honestly embarrassing, Sukuna would take you somewhere so much nicer than this, he knows what you deserve.
He’s been sitting at the bar sipping on his drink for the last half hour, watching the way you prop your elbow onto the table, cross your legs in your seat, tap your heel against the leg of your chair, listening to you laugh and chat about your job. Meanwhile, mister nobody in front of you is chewing with his mouth open like some kind of ape, not realizing how much of a privilege he has by being able to treat you to dinner. Un-fucking-believable.
Finally the moment he’s been waiting for happens. Bland And Boring stands up from his seat and leaves you at the table to go use the restroom, so now it’s time for Sukuna to get this fool away from you. His eyes follow the man as he walks past the bar, not even trying to be discreet. He gives Sukuna a quick glance and nods his head politely, making his way towards the bathrooms near the front of the restaurant.
There’s no time to waste.
Sukuna stands from his seat at the bar, trailing behind your date and following him into the bathroom. As the door clicks shut behind him he realizes that it’s just the two of them. Perfect, no interruptions.
He walks up behind the man, watching him through the large mirror above the sinks. Now that he’s up close he can really see how pathetic this guy is, nervously looking up towards Sukuna as he absolutely towers above him, his stature menacing and the look in his eyes bordering on deadly.
“D-do you need some-”
“You should leave.” Your date jumps at the sound of Sukuna’s voice; dark, deep, and serious.
“Um… why?” His eyes flicker around the room, definitely praying to whatever god he believes in to come save him.
Sukuna is surprised he isn’t immediately obeying. Has he grown soft? Surely not, this guy just needs a little extra push.
So Sukuna says the first thing that comes into mind.
“I have a bomb.”
Maybe that’s a little dramatic, but god damn does it do the trick. The guy looks like he’s about to fucking piss himself, eyes widening in terror as he quickly nods his head and runs out of the restaurant.
Sukuna keeps a keen eye on him through the windows, watching him nearly leap into his car and hearing the tires screech as he speeds out of the parking lot. It seems you also had an eye on your date, your jaw nearly dropping to the floor as you assumed that he just ditched you with the bill.
Now’s his time to shine.
He stuffs his hat into the front pocket of his hoodie and strides up behind you to your table, bending down to be eye level with you in the booth and putting on his best mildly surprised and kind of amused expression, “Well look at that.”
“Ugh, god.” You bury your face into your hands, “And here I thought my day couldn’t get any worse.”
He can’t help the smirk that grows on his face. It is his fault you’re in this situation, but I mean come on, that guy was no good for you anyway. “You sample the whole fuckin’ menu or something?”
You groan and roll your eyes, perfect, you took the bait, “I just got dine and dashed, asshole.”
Sukuna lets out a laugh as he flops down into the seat across from you, god if only you knew. A man would have to be a real idiot to stand you up, but he has to try and keep his act together, “Yeah? Guys are fuckin’ assholes, surprise.”
The pout on your face is too sweet, makes it hard for him to really feel bad, “I was really liking him too.”
Oh, he definitely doesn’t feel bad now. He pulls his card out of his wallet as the waitress approaches the table, handing it off to her nonchalantly as he continues the conversation, “Don’t know why you bother going on dates with these guys.”
You try to interject the waitress but she walks away before you can stop her, a defeated frown pulling down your lips, “What are you doing here anyway?”
He plops his elbow onto the table, shrugging his shoulders casually, “What? Am I not allowed to go to my favorite shitty restaurant?”
You perk up slightly, “Right? I saw a roach on the way in, I can’t believe he recommended this place.”
The waitress comes back and hands Sukuna his card, he quickly scribbles his signature on the receipt and stands from his seat at the booth, “Let’s get you out of here before you get ringworm or some shit, nasty fuckin’ place.”
Finally a smile creeps onto your face, lighting up the dreary atmosphere. You adjust your dress as you stand up and he can’t help but smirk at how good you look all dolled up, dark red dress hugging your figure as if you wore it for him. He leads you out of the restaurant, making sure to hold the door open for you since he noticed that your loser date let it slam in your face on your way in.
Droplets of rain were starting to sprinkle down, which is pretty unlucky considering it’s a ten minute walk back to the apartment. But that’s not a problem for Sukuna, if anything it’s a perfect opportunity. He catches the frown curling down your pouty lips as you fix your fingers through your nicely styled hair, probably trying to keep it from getting messed up, and without missing a beat he pulls his hoodie off, sliding it over your head and down your arms.
“I’m sure you spent hours dolling yourself up, would hate to ruin it.” His voice is smooth as butter, leaning down to eye level with you as he adjusts the hood to make sure your hair is covered.
A blush creeps onto your face, mumbling a quiet “Thank you” as you pull your arms through the sleeves. It honestly looks like you’re drowning in his massive hoodie, the sleeves too long for your arms that your fingers can’t even peek out and the hem at the bottom falling at your upper thighs.
Sukuna thought you looked good in that red dress, but god damn you look heavenly wearing his clothes. Why didn’t he do this sooner?
You both start to walk down the sidewalk to the apartment, the evening is quiet save for the muffled sounds of music and chatter coming from the bars and restaurants that you pass by. You’re walking right up against his side, your arm occasionally brushing against his and he can’t help but wonder if you’re getting closer on purpose.
Sukuna breaks the peaceful silence, “So was the food good at least?”
You look up towards him quizzically, squinting your eyes in a way that’s too fucking cute for him to handle, “Shouldn’t you be the expert?”
“Why t’fuck would I know? Never been there.”
“I thought that was your favorite shitty restaurant?”
Oops.
He got way too distracted looking into your pretty eyes. Lucky for him, he didn’t need to come up with an excuse to cover him because a loud snap rings through the air as you stumble forward. His arm quickly wraps around your waist to steady you before you can fall, holding you flush against him.
You look down at your feet and let out a loud groan of frustration, “Fucks sake, really?” You lift your foot up to inspect your shoe, your stiletto heel barely dangling by a thread as it snapped off from the sole.
Sukuna didn’t mean to laugh, but there was no containing it. You look up at him with an adorable angry face, cheeks burning red as you curse him out and it only makes him smile more. You’re just too damn cute when you’re pissed off.
“It’s not funny! These were expensive!”
“Yeah yeah, c’mere.” His arm stays wrapped around your waist as he leans down and hooks his other arm behind your knees, lifting you off the ground with ease as you squeal in surprise and wrap your arms around his neck to cling onto him.
Now he could bet that other guy wouldn’t do this for you, not just was he scrawny as all hell but he wouldn’t be nearly enough of a gentleman. Your arms tighten around the back of Sukuna’s neck as he starts walking to the apartment again, your cheek nuzzled against his shoulder as you slowly relax into his hold. He’s actually liking this a lot, silently considering purposely taking a wrong turn on the way home so he can hold you longer.
Hopefully after this you’ll stop going on stupid dates with worthless men, you’ve already got everything you could ever want right at home after all. Soon enough you’ll realize that you don’t need anyone but him.
A/N: This was SO FUN to write!! I love him he’s such an asshole askakksksk, I rlly liked the idea of doing a light hearted yandere part (even tho NOBODY asked for this skaksksk) Dividers by @adornedwithlight
Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!
#once again I am writing Sukuna pov and I am NOT sorry about it#I think every time I write his POV I make him crazier askskams#my writing#nav ryomen sukuna#roommate Sukuna au#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#Sukuna#ryomen sukuna#Sukuna fluff#ryomen sukuna fluff#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#jjk modern au
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in honor of laika coming back from the dead to release a new movie, a kubo of mine with some questionable summer fashion. im love he
inspired by @/kittarts' coraline art ;o;/
#idk if tagging directly is rude/annoying#so ima play it safe#inspired by my summer fashion of choice (it is summer in australia)#he play banjo#he probably studies psychology or history or something#something super smart but you dont know that bc he spends most of his time busking and collecting bugs#maybe he's studying to be an entymologist#the bug people#idk how to spell it#kubo and the two strings#kubo: and the two strings#laika studios#laika#kubo#modern au#college au#SORRY TO EVERYONE THAT FOLLOWED ME FOR STORMLIGHT#ILL DRAW STUFF I SWEAR PLEASE DONT LEAV ME EEEEE
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No one's really surprised to see famous rockstar Eddie Munson show up to the 2024 Paris Olympics. His close friendship with three-time medalist gymnast Chrissy Cunningham had the press working over time when the pair were first spotted six years ago leaving a fundraising event.
However, no one can seem to figure out why- in Chrissy's down time- the metal head is frequently spotted at the men's swimming events. Everyone knows Munson's queer, but he's not the type to show up just to oggle some poor, unsuspecting athletes (he is, but the press don't need to know he's a bit of a freak).
Prime time news coverage chock it up to Eddie supporting the best of the USA's Olympians, including Steve Harrington, who just broke the world record for men's fastest 100m freestyle. They'd pointed out it wasn't odd he was there, since he also made appearances at other events with up and coming stars, such as Lucas Sinclair for men's basketball and Nancy Wheeler for women's skeet shooting. When asked about it, he'd laughed it off, saying swimming was Chrissy's favorite sport to watch and he promised he'd fill her in on what she missed.
That didn't stop fans online from obsessing over small details, including Eddie's repeat appearances at the swimming events, where he only showed once for anything else that wasn't Chrissy's competitions. There was no way he could keep Chrissy filled in on what she missed when he only showed up to meets Harrington competed in, not all men's swimming events.
Fan edits of Eddie Munson clapping a little too hard, screaming a little too loud, and overall just a little bit more excited for Harrington's podium than Chrissy's gold medal spread across the internet like wildfire. One blurry shot caught Harrington briefly look in his direction when he won his silver, but it was hard to be certain.
Tucked into bed after another long day of interviews, Eddie pulls up a few of the best fan edits Jeff and Gareth sent him earlier. It's become a bit of a habit over the past few weeks to watch his favorite ones before he goes to sleep. He feels the bed dip next to him, a warm hand slide over his chest and a leg push between his own.
"Aww babe," Steve coos, "did we get new ones today?"
Eddie leans down, dropping little kisses on his husband's forehead. "Apparently Jeff says these ones are even more convincing than last week's."
Steve hums a content little sigh before nuzzling into the crook of Eddie's neck. They've been riskier about public appearances this time around compared to Tokyo, but they've agreed to publicly come out after this year's games are over. So, why not have a little fun with it?
They release a fan edit of their own later that year posted on the official Corroded Coffin profile. It's a reaction video of them watching all of their favorite tiktoks and fanart and Tumblr posts. They laugh, point out inaccuracies, answer fan questions, and post a few pictures of their own, including the two of them standing under an arch of flowers exchanging rings.
#dont know where this came from#i know the olympics are over but *shrugs*#i literally typed this on Tumblr on mobile so sorry for the spelling errors#steddie#steddie olympics au#steddie fic#swimmer steve harrington#rockstar eddie munson#secret relationship#modern au#olympics au#established relationship#queeniewritesstories
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🤵GhostJade Wedding WIP! 👰
Y'all been waiting long for this 👀 Sorry for the long wait and hiatus, it's college and life beating me down.
I was watching Say Yes To The Dress on my YouTube recommended and oh my GOD my heart leaped outta my chest. I NEED to draw GhostJade's marriage right NOW ✍️✍️ (Not me squealing while drawing their rings lmao)
Anyway yeah! I'm gonna finish this sooner or later. Might write a fic on it 👁️👄👁️ Hope you like it!
man, Ghost and his mask. ck ck ck.
Pose and dress inspo 👇
Dress is of course gonna be floral, I wanted to take the right one's design, but the the left's color. Because red is usually a no no on a wedding. Jade's deffo going to rock that blue color!
And here's the pose inspo by models for VMAN magazine, issue #21
#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#cod#cod mw#simon ghost riley#call of duty modern warfare 2022#charlotte jade le jardin#call of duty oc#ghost x jade#ghostjade#ghost x oc#oc#married!au#wedding#sorry for some inactivity#shit happened at life lmaaoaoaoa#sleepyconfusedpotato art
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Can’t get over how Kui almost let Fleki be Mithrun’s care taker in Melini
Bonus some Cithis being Cithis and stressed-out-of-her-mind Pattadol
#Fleki my dear I would be worried to let you care for a pet rock#Guess this is a modern AU#I wanted to draw Mithrun in tie dye I’m sorry#cithis#pattadol#kabumisu#mithrun#kabru#fleki dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#my art#pls excuse my worsening hand writing
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Steve arriving at a hotel for a work conference for his dad’s company. He hates it there, he’s miserable, he’s constantly trying to figure out what he actually wants to do with his life.
It’s late when he gets there and the hotel is fully booked because of a concert happening.
He gets his key card after waiting for 30 minutes to check in.
He opens the hotel room door to find it is already occupied by a guy with a whole lot of tattoos all over his very naked and still dripping from a shower body.
Obviously he panics a bit and wonders how the hell this could’ve happened and Eddie panics a little because of safety (turns out he’s the singer of the band performing the following night!)
They try to call the front desk but the line is busy and Steve already dreads having to go back and wait in the line downstairs.
Eddie offers to let him just stay and they’ll fix it in the morning.
“Plenty of room in a king for both of us.”
Which may be true, but Steve is an octopus when he shares a bed and he knows he will end up in Eddie’s space. Should he warn him? Probably. Does he? Absolutely not.
Steve rushes through a shower and hops into bed, making small talk with Eddie about his life in a band, ignores questions about what he does as much as he can because he doesn’t feel like explaining he’s just a puppet for his dad’s never ending business career.
He falls asleep listening to Eddie’s soft, deep tone.
And of course when he wakes up, he’s got his legs and arms wrapped around Eddie anywhere he can reach. His drool is drying on Eddie’s chest and he’s coming to terms with the fact that his dick was definitely pressed against Eddie’s thigh.
Eddie’s kind enough not to say anything about it, just squeezes Steve’s arm and continues petting his hair.
It’s nice, too nice.
Steve has to get up. He’s got things to do today and if he’s late, his dad will hear about it and berate him for hours.
Shit, even if he’s on time he’ll probably find some other reason to berate him for hours.
“What’s wrong?” Eddie asked.
“Hm? Oh. Just don’t really wanna get up.”
“Then don’t. I don’t have anywhere to be until soundcheck after lunch.”
And now Steve has no choice but to explain his job and why he’s here, how his dad is relying on him to network and find potential mergers. How he hates putting on the Harrington face to please everyone.
It’s easy to admit it to Eddie, especially with Eddie’s arms wrapped around him, holding him like he could actually protect him from anything his father tries to say to hurt him.
“You don’t like your job.”
It’s not a question.
“Does anyone really like their job?”
“I do.”
“Well, you’re a rockstar. Of course you do. But I can’t be a rockstar.”
“Maybe not. But what is your rockstar?”
Steve had never been asked that, not even by guidance counselors in high school. They all knew he’d work for his father. He got a business degree for his father. He owned more suits than sweatpants for his father.
“I…don’t know.”
“Maybe you could try figuring it out.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“No, it’s not. But you could still try.”
So Steve sent a message to his dad’s partner, let him know he was fighting food poisoning from the in-flight meal and couldn’t make it to the conference today. He watched as Eddie threw on some clothes, mussed up his hair instead of brushed it, and quickly shoved his things into his bag.
“I should get out of your hair, try to get the room thing fixed.”
Eddie looked at him, looked at the alarm clock by the bed, down at Steve’s bag.
“How many days are you packed for?”
“Uh, four, technically. Trip was supposed to be three, but I always have an extra in case there’s flight delays or-“
“Come with me.”
“To…soundcheck?”
“On tour.”
Steve was an idiot, his father made sure he knew it as often as possible. But he couldn’t just go on tour with a stranger.
Could he?
What was he really doing here?
He hated his job, hated his dad, hated not having a clear path in front of him.
And this certainly wasn’t a clear path; He barely knew this guy, and hadn’t even heard his band. But it was a trail, the start of a path that could lead him somewhere he’d actually like to be.
Maybe he could take this chance.
Robin would tell him to do it, if she weren’t in Antarctica studying penguins for three months, only able to call once a week to check in.
What would she say if she called him and he was backstage at a heavy metal concert?
She’d probably say he’s lost his damn mind, but she’d be glad he did.
“Well, I am a rockstar. I could afford to have you around.”
“I’m not sure I could really afford to when my dad fires me,” Steve sighed, reality hitting him a little too quickly.
“I’m not really willing to be, like, your kept boy or anything,” Steve felt himself flush.
“I’m not really willing to have a kept boy,” Eddie smirked, joining him on the bed again, legs crossed in front of him. “But I’d definitely be happy to have someone who can help our tour manager out. You’d be working, though the jobs kind of boring.”
“More boring than sitting in an office five days a week and meeting with old white dudes who haven’t done anything but work their lives away for 40+ years?”
“Nah, way better than that. Sometimes you’ll have to deal with Gareth’s moods, but I promise to make it worth your while.”
“How’s that?”
“I’ll leave that up to you,” Eddie very obviously checked him, eyes trailing over Steve’s bare chest. “I’m open to negotiating.”
“And if I want a kiss?”
“Then a kiss you’ll have.”
“And if I want you to fuck me?”
“Then you’ll have to sign some paperwork,” Eddie laughed. “But that can be arranged too.”
So Steve left with Eddie, four days of clothes in his bag, no idea what he’d even tell his dad or anyone else, and no clue exactly what his new job would entail.
All he knew was Eddie seemed to be made just for him, chaos and hyperactivity included, and Steve wasn’t gonna give that up now. Even if it made no sense, even if it was ridiculous to gain a new job and new rockstar boyfriend in less than 24 hours, even if his next call with Robin was a combination of her yelling about his impulsive behaviors and congratulations for finally doing something for him.
Even if he was more of a VIP groupie for the band than an employee of the tour manager.
Steve finally found something he wanted.
If he sent his dad’s calls to voicemail, that was because he was too busy walking his new path.
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#headcanon#drabble#modern au#rockstar eddie munson#meet cute#unrealistic timeline of falling in love#and I’m not sorry for it
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Modern au scenario where Grian has relatively higher alcohol tolerance and out drinks everyone most of the time.
One day Boatem is having fun at a party and Scar decided to prank Grian by mixing just one more shot in his drink, just to see what happens.
Grian downs the shot before almost spitting the drink out, coughing sputter and furiously complaining about how concentrated the drink seems to be. Scar feels guilty and along with the party assures Grian that nothing is wrong.
Two minutes later, Grian face plants on the floor and has to be carted off to the hospital for alcohol poisoning.
Scar looks absolutely demolished that he cause all this and Impulse notices, and asks him what happened. He confesses his crime, almost breaking down in guilt (under the influence of alcohol) and Boatem folks just freezes up and simultaneously asks, “you too??”
Turns out everyone in Boatem had the exact same idea, and Grian downed 5 shots of tequila in a go that night.
#boatem#hermitcraft#modern au#Grian#goodtimeswithscar#hc s8#impulsesv#pearlescentmoon#mumbo jumbo#implied#sorry folks#fic ideas#boatem crew#hazel’s summer house
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Modern AU but devil fruits are still a thing
#one piece#kidlaw#trafalgar law#eustass kid#comic#this happened to my friend's brother and im sorry but it was for a good cause#modern au
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au in which robert, the starks and the lannisters play monopoly instead of going hunting and pushing each other‘s kids from towers.
tyrion implements a tax system to make things more interesting and fights cersei over the cat for a solid ten minutes.
around thirty minutes into the game, catelyn realizes that she has free will and stops paying taxes.
arya and sansa haggle over new york avenue, which ends up being bought by theon. this causes the two to completely cast aside their differences, ally and subsequently start doing everything in their power to make theon‘s life hell.
theon himself is quite severely stoned the entire time throughout.
ned enters horrendous debt pretty much immediately and, after two hours of being financially sucked dry by both cersei and his tax evader of a wife, decides to just place his figurine in jail and never leave.
jon, playing the dog, controls the railroads and makes jaime, playing the ship, go completely broke within minutes. being beaten by a bastard and officially the first to lose the game makes jaime so mad he spends the rest of the evening perched on the family‘s ancestral armchair eating flaming hot cheetos and stifling sobs.
cersei is holding onto her last two dollars and her one house in atlantic avenue like a maniac and evades taxes like it‘s an olympic sport. she claims ownership of kentucky avenue on the grounds that red is her house‘s color at least twice. after three hours, she‘s consumed enough vintage red to kill a large mammal and keeps quoting the art of war. fascinatingly enough, she never goes completely broke.
robert, just as broke and drunk as his wife but not nearly as ferocious, proposes marriage for tax advantages to bran, who is in possession of the boardwalk and lets him dangle on his proposition for two rounds before accepting and feeling like a benevolent god.
sansa sees this and immediately proposes to arya, who accepts, only for them to be sued by their mother for public indecency („you‘re siblings, jesus christ!“). arya argues that this is just a game and that one could argue that robert‘s and bran‘s marital alliance is just as if not even more inappropriate, considering that bran is seven and robert thirtyseven. sansa countersues her mother for tax evasion, who promises she‘ll drop her lawsuit if her daughters let her keep hoarding perverse amounts of wealth. „love wins!“ arya says, which causes jaime, still perched on the armchair but now eating old nan‘s home made whiskey truffles, to hysterically sob. cersei stares him down.
robb, in a rare moment of almost prophetic foresight, excuses himself one hour in and goes on a very, VERY long walk with grey wind.
tyrion, whose tax system has spectacularly backfired in his face, proposes marriage to catelyn, jon and cersei in rapid succession, who all turn him down. „i wish i was the monster you think i am. i wish i had enough poison for the whole pack of you. i would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it.“ he screams before he leaves the table.
at that, joffrey, who has refused to participate and instead sits on the couch playing doom on his nintendo ds, starts hysterically laughing. tyrion turns on his heel and awards his nephew with the bitchslap of the century. this causes cersei to completely abandon the game and chase after him with a broom. catelyn makes sure that everyone is distracted by the lannister antics and then reaches across the table and bags cersei‘s money and properties.
with a heavy heart, myrcella trades arya and sansa one of her limited edition bayala schleich unicorns for park place.
at this point, the game is between the tycoons that are catelyn and jon, the bran-robert alliance, the arya-sansa-alliance, and ned, who is still in jail and watching ice hockey on his phone under the table. that is when catelyn hears rickon gagging and discovers that he, in the absence of tyrion, the self declared bank manager, has managed to eat all bank notes from the box.
rickon gets his stomach pumped, cersei and tyrion have both been arrested, theon is still stoned, arya, sansa and myrcella have wandered off to go play schleich horses, and jon remains at the table, alone, content, and quietly considering himself the winner.
#asoiaf#asoiaf au#asoiaf modern au#eddard stark#catelyn stark#ned x catelyn#cersei lannister#jaime lannister#tyrion lannister#robert baratheon#robb stark#jon snow#bran stark#arya stark#sansa stark#rickon stark#joffrey baratheon#myrcella baratheon#sorry for the tommen erasure :(
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AU that takes place in 1999 in which Dutch and Hosea make shitty western movies as tax write offs
#im going to make more of this au just trust me#the entire gang makes western movies together and lives in a small apartment#chaos ensues#people might die idk#im sorry i made dutch look like a pimp. its just inevitable in every modern au that he has to have the pimp look#rdr2#red dead redemption#dutch van der linde#arthur morgan#hosea matthews#vandermatthews#modern au#my art
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