#sorry it's hard to remember everyone
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yyh shipping opinion charts (NIGHTMARE MODE)
blank versions below cut
#anyway this is the first time i've done one of these and there's just. so many yyh characters that get shipped in all kindsa ways and it's#cool + i thought this'd sum up my opinions nicely. if there's no lines between something 1) i forgor 2) i didn't think it was worth mention#the first chart is just a highlights reel of the second. basically focusing on the ships i see the most#everything else is highlights reel since idk if anyone ships like. tarukane and raizen yk#anyway ft some of my crack ships (usually in light blue or green sometimes boiling down to haha i fucked ur mom/gf)#some of them i waffled on a bit. i think i like kurahi and yusukeiko Roughly the same amount? ish? eh whatever#also the best ship is obv suzuki x rando x shishiwakamaru x suzaku bc i think they're all losers who deserve each other#i kept forgetting characters so sorry if your blorbo isn't on here. kaito and kurama would be green btw. nerd violence...#yyh#yu yu hakusho#shipping chart#yusuke urameshi#kazuma kuwabara#kurama#hiei#botan#shizuru kuwabara#yukina#keiko yukimura#atsuko urameshi#younger toguro#genkai#uhhhhh#yoko kurama#sorry it's hard to remember everyone#mukuro#yomi#raizen#kuronue#koenma
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Leo learns something about himself 🏳️⚧️
Based roughly on this old post.
Bonus:
[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#trans leonardo#trans leo#rottmnt headcanons#turtle art tag#rise draxum#happy pride everyone~#if you’re wondering why there’s no backgrounds that’s because my files got messed up so just blankness in the bg sorry#but yeah!#this is forever and always my fav headcanon for Leo it makes too much sense to me#I wanted to make sure I got it done in time for pride haha#I don’t know if it’s obvious by the end but Draxum ran off because he was for once doing something nice for Leo#that being leading him somewhere else not in front of everyone so Leo can process the fact that he was born female in peace haha#(but he also just - wanted to avoid the ensuing awkward Talk as long as he could lol)#“how would Leo NOT know’’ he had an inkling but never thought much of it because he’s a teenage turtle mutant with no access to healthcare#also yeah that’s splinter’s hand at the end there I just KNOW he’d want those pics#also also - Leo here can technically be trans or even intersex in some way too#both is good#making this made me remember why I never do color#at least for comics#it just takes sooo long#but it was fun and worth it for my fave hc#this is like the first time I’ve drawn Draxum and man he’s kinda hard to draw#also their sizes are just 1 2 and 3 because Draxum had a simple system in place for sizing his subjects#(aka I was too lazy to think of anything else to put there)#also dunno if anyone noticed but look at Raph’s paper and look at his baby’s self’s photo
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I don't know how everyone isn't also always constantly thinking about how burial rites seem to be potentially one of the few things Siffrin instinctively remembers about their culture. But rest assured. I am in fact always thinking about it.
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Textless version where they're just hanging out. It's fine!
#love how i said id slow down on fanart. and then didnt. anyway. the bg is supposed to be a ocean shore but its vague intentionally.#ALSO SORRY FOR DRAWING EVERYONE FACING AWAY FROM THE CAMERA ALL THE TIME? WHY DO I KEEP DOING THAT IN MY ISAT STUFF. HELLO? HELLO??? WHY???#in stars and time#isat fanart#isat#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#isat loop#siffrin#sifloop#lucabyteart#hi again sifloop tag. read this as you will. go nuts. i know you people are here for the crumbs.#if you want other thoughts re: what they do/do not remember on instinct. i wonder what their culture's bonding ceremony equiv is.#since they dont seem to have any answers to that. perhaps since not directly asked during that conversation. hm. feels like a cute fic idea#not that ill be executing on that.#ill be damned if i bare my ass on ao3. i can barely write about my ocs without feeling like im naked on stage. i salute your kind's bravery#also sorry if the dialogue here is hard to parse what order its in. its a zigzag of some kind im not fighting my absolutely ass typesetting#samdontlook
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Who is the best TARDIS team?
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TOURNAMENT MASTERPOST
propaganda under the cut
12, Clara, Missy
Imagine the 3 worst people you know, who are simultaneously exactly the same and completely different. The epitome of the "Wow These People Are So Weird, Thank God I'm the Normal One" meme. Now imagine putting them together in a box and shaking it around. It's so funny, I love them
#top team: semis#come on 2 jamie zoe#i love 12 clara missy i do#but 2 jamie zoe are the all time greats#they all vibe with eachother so hard#nobody does it like them#im so serious#they're all having so much fun the whole time#im sure nobody needs to be told about the 2 jamie dynamic#but i love 2 zoe so so much#they're both running away from societies they hate#that were way to rigid for them#i mean everyone in zoes first story thought she was cold and unfeeling#a walking talking calculator#she thinks that of herself but she isn't that at all#i mean she clearly loves doing all the maths and science#she and the doctor vibe about it so hard#and jamie and zoe#peak sibling energy#i mean the idea jamie doesn't remember zoe is abhorrent#at least they both get one memory of the doctor and zoe one memory of jamie#sorry okay i think im getting of track#fuck the war games for real#i mean amazing television but heartbreaking ending#anyway vote season 6
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you’re laughing. kaishin got cousin-zoned in the newest detective conan movie and you’re laughing
#ok i know I KNOW this is a mass fandom genocide committed directly via word of god and it’s horrifying#my condolences to the affected families your sacrifices will be remembered etc etc#but i genuinely think this is so hilarious. no cap i’m laughing so hard#sorry that happened but also why would they do this after 30 years. absolutely bonkers move great job everyone#also who cares if they’re cousins i think that should make people ship them harder#dcmk#kaishin
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fave creators' art challenge: 2024
based off of this post: the premise is simple. just think of your fave creators on this site and write a post listing some of your fave creations that were made by them. tell them why you like it, if the coloring is pretty, if the blending is top notch, if it inspired you or just gush about the characters... and don't forget to tag them so they can see it. (being tagged puts you at no obligation to do this yourself! just spreading the love).
everything under the cut below (because long post)
rules (that i made up):
sets should be those posted in 2024
one set per creator (otherwise i will put everything from everyone here)
picks do not need to be mutuals
* just going to go ahead and add in here now that i absolutely forgot people, but please know that i love everything you all make! please check out the other talented people i follow for more quality content. ** also this is in no particular order and i will absolutely be me repeating myself with the praise chosen because hot dang are these people talented.
@imogens-temult's super pretty set of moiraine. the color parallels are amazing, font combo is gorgeous, and just perfect. [FLASHING TW]
@shadowhaert's shaunanat set, featuring amazing green/black duotones, with a purple accent. i love the layout on this, and it works so well with the blending.
@nicknelosn's jackieshauna set. i love the typography on this sosososo much (also the blue and pink combo is so nicely done???) [FLASHING TW]
@khaotungthanawat's set for meet you at the blossom. i am not familiar with the show (read the ln awhile back), but there is something about the simplicity? it's beautifully done (and also the color yellow - my beloved).
@crowley-anthony's rio vidal/death set. the entire layout of everything is perfect: the triblends are top notch, the icons and font choice are amazing, AND it is just a nicely done set. also, again, the color yellow my beloved.
@mikelogan's super pretty flanagan formula. it is so pretty and well done. amazing layout, b&w my beloved, and also... there should always be more mike flanagan content. [FLASHING TW]
@dramatical's ghibli palette set. something about the simplicity just gives me joy. also, just gorgeously colored. amazing.
@alicenthighstower's siuraine set. the 3rd gif is so amazing with the framing. i love it so much i just- [FLASHING TW]
@ruanbaijie's set for snowfall. a very underrate cdrama, but also i just love how the text is laid out. the chinese characters being combined so nicely with the english, the coloring... truly just in love with it. (FLASHING TW)
@beetlejuce's beautifully done set for chappell roan. beautifully laid out, gorgeous coloring, and i adore it.
@tommykinard's set of maddie buckley. i love the soft blue (and, of course, the typography). i love how the font is laid out, and the transitions. forever obsessed with the lines/circle on the 3rd gif.
@eddiediaaz's set for buddie. the blends on tthe albums, the typography... beautiful. also - ever so slightly biased because a song i recommended is one of those featured. but that does not minimize the amazingness.
@maines' wizard of oz x agatha all along rainbow set. the coloring is so freaking beautiful, and is absolutely one of my favorite rainbow sets of all time. it is truly just... gorgeous. also - some of the missing scenes... still cheering on a pt. II.
@trueloveistreacherous' poker face set. i actually had something else picked originally, but my love for yellow won out again. PLUS - this is a show that needs so much more love. beautifully done.
@rosamundpkes' siuraine set. am i biased because this is set is based off a quote that i sent hella a month or two ago, and told her to make a set of? yes. BUT ALSO - do you see those tri-blends? do you see that pain in the 3rd gif? exactly.
@antoniosvivaldi's maisie peters set. there is slight recency bias, but i am obsessed with the gradients on this. it's so pretty, guys.
@guildfordd's rebelcaptain's set. this is just so pretty? and so well done? yeah, yeah, yellow bias - but i love the last gif's tie in with the icon/burst. it is just so pretty.
@henwilsons's morgana set. i am... i am so obsessed with the blending and coloring here that it's unhealthy. [FLASHING TW]
@robin-buckely's stranger things robin/steve/nancy set. this is just so amazingly laid out, and gives such good insp. just how (/positive)
@vidalharkness' obi wan set. the typography and coloring are just... so nice. also loving the overlay/texture going on in the first and last gif.
some other blogs that create amazing/inspiring content (w/ a set to showcase their work):
@taiturner's taissa turner set during tv appreciation week. amazing layout and gorgeous duotone coloring.
@magnusedom's 911 season 2 posters. they're all so unique.
@nataliescatorccio's chappell roan set. amazing layout and gorgeous blending.
@thereigning-lorelai's nancy drew/nace set. the typography is always on point, but the blends and design of the gifs are just gorgeous.
#idk what to tag this#fave creators 2024#<- good enough#no but seriously go follow all of these people they're amazing#and all the other people in my following list (because remembering things is... really hard)#i tried to put tws where i could i am so sorry if i missed any#no clue if everyone will get the notification but... we tried#text
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I got inspired by @rosehippiefield's post about Shin's advice on how to deal with Midori and his own behavior towards Sara (that you can find here!). It made me want to analyze more his reasons behind all of his cruel acts. And how some other people from our main cast were affected because of the death game. So.
People can act very differently in different situations. Their emotions and behaviors are always connected to something they go through. No matter if we understand why and how.
So people that are aggressive, cruel, judgmental, rude, miserable, or every other negative adjective usually have a reason for being the way they are. Knowing the reason is really important for understanding others behavior. Of course understanding the reason doesn’t automatically mean we should like this person or forgive them!
Aggression can happen as a natural response to stress, fear, or a sense of losing control. People also react harshly and negatively when they feel like they are mistreated, people don't listen to them, or they are just frustrated. Fear is a really important factor in how we act too.
In Your Turn To Die we have a really specific situation. A few unsuspecting people got kidnapped and put in an unknown place to fight for their lives.
Death itself is a really strong stressor. So adding to it that basically everything is unknown is really not helping with the pressure.
Like was said before, people can behave differently even in similar situations. Really important are the personality, previous experience and predispositions.
Our main cast experiences different things, and because of that, their perspective and way of going through their current situation can be even more different.
Each of them will react differently because of the trauma and reactions of the body to the situation. Some of them even had traumas before landing in the Death Game by Majority.
There, of course, will be feelings connected with experienced trauma (during and afterwards). There are some that we can also see in the game:
Anger
Numbness or difficulty feeling any strong emotions
Lost
Fear or panic
Grief
Worried
Irritation
Confusion
Restless
Hypervigilance
Shock or horror
Shame
People may be affected by trauma in many different ways. There may be problems with looking after yourself, not being able to have a stable job, being distrustful, forgetting things or they can struggle with low self-esteem. People like that can experience flashbacks, panic attacks, dissociation or suicidal thoughts.
After this long introduction, let's take a closer look at some of our characters!
NAO Nao lost someone very dear to her. She even went a little crazy for a moment. But she is so strong mentally she moved past the death, she didn't give up.
A lot can be said about Nao. That she is rational, really smart, selfless and she is not afraid of making sacrifices for a greater goal. That's why it was her that pushed fake Reko down the pit, saving Sara from making the decision.
She doesn't hold a grudge against Shin. She really pays attention to details, so she notices Reko behaves differently. But she still hits Shin because she got scared (Kai's making) and, more importantly, we get the Massacre Ending.
It is not the greater good, this is not selfless. It is selfish and only for her (and Sara), so she can live. Because it is not fair for anyone to be destined to die.
KANNA Kanna was searching for comfort from Sara. She viewed her as someone safe and trustworthy. Someone she can look up to as a big sister.
I am not saying she was replacing Kugie, but at that moment she needed a sisterly figure and Sara suited this role so well. She gave her support and spent time with her. Sara was the one that was there for Kanna and was from the very beginning.
We see Kanna as someone cowardly, shy and innocent. Maybe a little too trusting. The death she experienced at the beginning didn't help and only made the whole experience worse. But she was with people that she trusted and wanted to help. That she was so brave in the second Main Game, making her death a choice. And even if she lived, her demeanor changed. At least a little. She wants to live for those that died for her and it is making her stronger.
Kanna will always be Kanna, but thanks to all the people that support her, she could show her real self. The prettiest flower in the game.
Q-TARO Q-taro is someone who changed his ways. He could escape with the tokens he got (and did), he could leave Gin for dead. But he wants what he thinks is the best. Being alive was the best he could think of at the beginning.
He is an easygoing and friendly giant with high levels of anxiety and selfishness. He has his moments of doubt, like with the tokens.
When we give him enough tokens, he escapes. Even when Rio tells him that, if he inserts all tokens, everyone else will die. Even when he is offered his tokens back. He just apologizes and turns away from Sara.
When we won't do the trade with him, he can't go with his plan. When his doll talks during the coffin roulette, he admits he wanted to abandon them all even if it meant killing someone. And when he talked with Mai after she woke up, he said that he would do the same as her, but he didn't have the opportunity.
He trusted Mai and didn't blame her for the stabbing because he understood. He made the whole plan of saving others by dying himself. Sacrifice from a guy wanting to live hits so hard.
KEIJI The thing with Keiji is complicated. He is a liar, a murderer and a skiver. But he also is so full of guilt and anger. He is still grieving. Years passed, but he still feels guilty about the death of Mr. Policeman.
He is angry, desperate, lost in the dark thoughts. And he acts on them during his First Trial. But Megumi was his friend once, someone really important to him. They drank together, worked together, spent a lot of time together. So he had another's blood on his hands and the whole death game on his head.
He isn't trusting anyone because he knows he himself has something to hide. But he suppresses all the emotions and hides behind humor and fake flirting. He lies about being a policeman because he thinks that would be the way for others to not think he did anything horrible.
He doesn't feel like someone who can do anything about his situation, let alone theirs all. It is easier to give responsibility to another person, even if she is only 17 years old.
He acts how he believes is the best. He acts without telling the person that is supposed to trust him the most his plans. For the best or for the worst.
The death game isn't really a good supplement for therapy.
SARA Sara is very strong-minded, very befitting for a leader. She is our main character, so it is obvious a lot will revolve around her. But even this is too much. There is just so much on her shoulders.
She is only in high school but she almost died a few times (and she did, probably, as we are the players, so the GAME OVER screen isn't strange for us) in a very short time. She got people she can trust and those that hate her and make her life harder. She became a leader for all of them and they look up to her.
"Are you going to be our goddess of victory... or our angel of death?”
A lot of pressure is put on her. She will be the reason everyone will survive or die. Isn't that comforting, Keiji?
But okay, some may say that she is a born leader anyway, but she holds onto Keiji really hard. He is her anchor after Joe. It is also a way to destroy her if she will ever lose him. Because while Sara is she's extremely competent, she makes mistakes. But we know she will always get up.
Sara is also even more interesting, because we know her rate of survival is 15.5% (and the % of our participants is really curious in itself and deserves its own post). We saw a lot of faces of Sara thanks to simulations. She could be merciless, manipulative and ready to do anything to survive. She is obsessed and selfish, not caring for anyone else, just herself.
And we can't blame her, she wants to live. When we are desperate, we do things that aren't good. Those horrible situations, life-threatening ones, make us different people.
Have you ever heard about the Johari Window?
The Johari Window is a quadrant diagram that is used to show how we know ourselves and how others perceive us. It can be a tool to understand ourselves—how we behave, our character traits, skills, attitudes, knowledge and reactions.
Like the name suggests, there are four parts to this model.
Open Part - there are things that are known to you and others. If you know you are shy and you act shy towards other people, all of you know that you are shy. We know Nao is an artist. She knows that and tells others she went to study art. She was completely Open with that.
Hidden Part - is when there are aspects only known to you. You keep them hidden from others so others won't know those things about you. For example, you can be very opinionated, but you don't show it to others. Then they can't know that your opinions may be different than theirs because they can't hear your thoughts.
Blind Spot - it is the complete opposite of the previous part. There are things that others know about you, but you are not aware of them. Kanna is really clever. She figured out the password to Kai's laptop when Shin had a problem with it and she knew that Shin tampered with her sister's message. But she still thinks of herself as not smart (she says that in chapter 2 part 2).
Unknown Part - this one is really interesting, because about this part neither you nor others know about yet. Mostly it stays a secret, but sometimes, where there is a really unpredictable situation that can, for example be life-threatening, that Part may come to light.
We never can know how we will behave during those situations that we never lived through. We don't know if we will fight, flight, freeze, flop or fawn.
Q-taro and Sara are perfect examples of the Unknown Part of the Johari Window.
Q-taro's high level of stress pushed him to do some horrible things. When he had to actively choose if it was him or Gin that would die, he didn't do anything. He let Gin get hit because he was afraid to die, even if the poison would work slower on him. Some shame him for this, but if we were in his place, would we do differently? Click a button that could kill us. We don't know and we hopefully won't.
We may say we would do or not do some things, but until the situation happens to us, we won't be sure.
Similar with Sara and her behavior. All the things she did, all the thoughts, emotions, relationships and ways of doing things we see are a result of some really important factor. She changes after the logic route, why?
Because of Joe. He is her tranquilizer, her anchor, her morality. He was the person that made Sara care during the death game.
Her whole behavior switched only because of one person.
When we pick Kanna to live, Sara is how we know her. Compassionate, strong, mature. But when Shin lives, Joe dies again, but this time in her memories. It makes the situation similar to those in simulations.
Even Sara is terrified by what she is doing.
SHIN (+ Midori)
And that's why Shin is so suspicious of Sara all the time! But let's start at the beginning with him.
Shin is, like every character in YTTD, a very complex character. We know him as an annoying, scary and cruel man for most of the game. Some of us hate him still and some took him as their favorite.
What he did and his reasons aren't forgettable. But it is nice to see a reason behind his behavior.
Midori is sadistic and really cruel. He torments others for his own amusement and loves to watch them break. He loves to make others be afraid of him—and that's why he always tries to be intimidating by holding eye contact and saying unsettling things. He is mean and childish, but he also is really good at reading people. He uses that for his own use, to push the limits of others, control them and let them fall in desperation.
Shin spent a lot of time with Midori. He was his only friend in school and he was so scared of him. Midori did everything to make Shin uncomfortable, but also unable to leave him.
But thanks to that, he knows a lot about him. Shin knows Midori loves control, so taking it away from him is lethal. He knows that Midori is so afraid of death (even if Midori thinks nobody will ever kill him), he is a coward that cares only about himself.
When Shin gives Sara advice, it is so ironic. He tells Sara she should act how he acts towards her. To try to intimidate Midori, make him scared, take away his control.
The advice is important, because only thanks to that can we see how Shin sees Sara and his situation.
Sara is so similar to Midori. Shin can see in her all those cruel acts that never happened. She is in so much control because she is the leader and makes a lot of final decisions. She can be so intimidating. She has sometimes emotional outbursts (that are entirely justified). Additionally, she has a really high % of survival that automatically makes her the most dangerous enemy.
Of course Sara isn't like Midori. Their reasons are different and Sara is genuinely a really good person. But Shin has problems with distinguishing them.
Shin definitely got traumatized during his "friendship time" with Midori. It affected him so much, he is searching for danger in anything remotly similar to what he already knows. His defence mechanism and heuristic try to save him, but it does more harm than good.
He got hurt by someone close to him, so he is extra careful. He doesn't want to be too close to people, prefers to be distant and mean. He prefers to act as someone he hates and is scared of, why?
Because he is afraid. In his own eyes, he is weak and easy to get rid of if he is useless. He thinks the way to survive is to act as the only person that made him feel the worst.
Intimidation, cruelty, cunning, manipulation, lies. Those are the keys to survival in the world where it is kill or be killed. If he is those things, he may live longer than if he were himself.
But as we know, Shin also isn't like Midori. He cares—for Kanna, Gin, even for Keiji and Sara. And he wants them all to escape, despite everything. But going back to old Shin isn't an option anymore. Too much has happened.
Fear is infinitely connected with anger. Anger makes people mean and impulsive. That's why after Kanna's death, he made the worst Joe experience for Sara. That's why he was so mean to Kanna when it turned out that she isn't the Sacrifice and is ready to die for him.
That's why he hates Sara. He is so, so afraid it hurts.
He wants to destroy any possibility that could hurt him and the only way, in his opinion, for that to happen is to hit first. And that's how they should fight with Midori.
Fight fire with fire.
But if anyone knows how extinguishing fire with fire works, then they know that at the end both fire dies and the forest will still be burnt. There will always be victims, no matter if they are main or side characters.
Fire destroys. Midori is so widespread that he can't be stopped by using only water. Sara is a small fire that Shin wants to nip in the bud before it is greater than the forest itself.
But we are heading towards the end slowly. There are fewer and fewer people. Relations will always be strained but also deeper, on another level. Let's see how they will act in the final chapter!
THE END
Finally, I just want to say: there always will be choices to choose, decisions to decide and fires to fight. We can hate, love or like anyone for any reason, but it is important to understand the other person.
Sometimes life is so unpredictable. We won't know what will happen and what we will do. We don't know ourselves as well as we think we do.
But let's be kind to ourselves and others. We don't know what they went through and what will happen to us.
#it took me so long to write holy shit#i don't even know if it makes sense#and it is so long damn#this post was written for uhhhh 2 people?#yes. i deserve 2 notes under this#good luck reading it all#remember it is only for fun!! it is not real diagnosis or anything#i used my psychology degree and sleep deprivation to write this shit#i called sara a “he” two times in this#so i guess new transmask sara hc is real for me now#also if you were looking for your fav character in this and they arent here sorry#it would be too long if i talked about everyone#i just wanted some examples#sara chidouin#shin tsukimi#midori yttd#nao egokoro#kanna kizuchi#qtaro burgerberg#keiji shinogi#i might went a little hard on him sowwy#the man deserves a beating but also a hug and therapy#like all of them tbh#psychology#character psychology#game analysis#johari window#the johari window#your turn to die#yttd
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Slowly but surely, I got some more writing today. I'm hoping that now that I'm getting used to the orientation schedule, I'll be able to finish at least another two chapters of Once Bitten in the next 2.5 weeks before orientation ends, because if not, then I probably won't be able to write during my EM-Peds rotation. I think ortho after that is "only" 50-60 hour weeks, so maybe then?
I dunno, it just feels really weird to know that I'm hitting that part of my training where inpatient rotations are going to be 72 hour weeks (12 hours a day, 6 days a week) and it's a genuinely relevant part of our orientation to be reminded that we have to let our attendings know if we're going to break the 80 hour workweek limits. We get lectures on wellness from admin people who have never worked more than a 40 hour week, and then the psych program director comes by and says, "Yeah, no, you guys are going to be unwell. You will get burned out, and when you meet all of the clinical criteria for depression and think that you need medication, here's my personal number. Call me with whatever you need, and I will also be able to tell you whether you're depressed or if it's residency," because that's the actual triage he can offer given that the problem with resident wellness isn't that we don't know how to take care of ourselves, it's that we're worked to the bone across the board.
Isn't it just wild that this is, like... considered normal?
Anyway, I know that I'll be able to handle it, I appreciate that the actual social culture of our program is full of nice people, and I'll get through it and it's temporary, etc, etc, but I just really want to finish Once Bitten before I get too tired to write for another extended period of time. I don't mind taking breaks from writing, but I like for my projects to be finished so they're not hanging out at the back of my mind. So that's my goal!
#personal#dear diary#this turned into a bit of a vent sorry#sometimes I feel like a crazy person for hearing “12 hours a day / 6 days a week” and thinking that's absolutely fucking insane#because EVERYONE is like “yeah it's hard but it's normal”#but then my mom texts me like “is that legal???” and I remember that I am not crazy it's residency training that's insane lol#I think part of it is that it's very normalized in medicine to NOT HAVE A LIFE outside of medicine#so not having time for hobbies or sports or spending time with family isn't like. considered nuts.
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I just need to be told "You Can Do It" right now.
#I've gotten about 3 hours of sleep within the last 48 hours and I'm still behind in my classes#I don't know how I'm supposed to keep up at this point#Just grinding constantly for hours every waking moment of my life#I'm stuck wondering the same things#'When will it slow down?'... 'Will it actually ever slow down?'#If it doesn't i don't think i can keep up#Full time in college and full time in work#However#every time i try to speak my troubles or stress to someone they just chuckle#and ignore me saying ''well college is like that. welcome to the adult world''#Why does college have to be like this? why is everyone so fine with this?#I'm very unmotivated right now#My grades are all low despite the numerous 100%s I've been getting#And they're not going back up no matter how many A+ s I get on assignments#I don't like talking to people - it scares me terribly#So i don't like it when I'm constantly forced to talk to over 10 people every time i go to school (talk to your professor they say#I like to think of my job at my second home#at least that's not too hard and i love the people#But I just need things to get less intense school-wise#Just for me to get a decent amount of sleep please#Just a little bit#Please#i don't know#I'm not going on hiatus no worries#I love my blog dearly and cannot abandon it for my mental health#I just need encouragement#Because I'm so tired#Sorry for the rant I hate to vent#I'll delete this later if i remember#💬
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which yakuroom am i voting for??
proooobbabbly (in order of preference) 1. vampire yaku (i REALLY wanna hear yakumo lash out. AND the goofy mirror training) 2. idol yaku (lots of lore in this one, along with potential for snake-language yakumo. bonus: panicked whisper yaku in R1) OR 3. iced coffee yaku (give me more of that dulcet service voice)
deliberations under the cut
when they launched the poll, my immediate answer was SHADOW LINEAGE YAKUMO! I WANNA HEAR HIM SCREAM AS HE PLUMMETS FROM THE CLIFF but, not so hasty... did he ACTUALLY scream while hurtling to his doom? after i checked the rooms, no. no he did not. in fact, he was quite coherent throughout the crisis. that simply will not suffice. so, scrap shadow lineage. i must now go through room by room...
Things that , voiced, may INTRIGUE me? 👀👓:
White day yakumo: - eiden's weaponised incompetence while yakumo teaches him how to stir 😁
Idol yakumo: - blade and oli!! - yakumo ?happy!? it feels like it's been so long - yakumo speaking ancient serpent language - i can see the appeal in hearing yaku sing [ancient mating ball music], but i kinda prefer letting my imagination do the work. hmm...
Count drakumo: - yakumo losing his temper with eiden (I WANT TO HEAR HIM LASH OUT AT PRECIOUS EITO-SAN. JUST ONCE) - eiden talking about his hidden scalp scar and past anger issues - garu and aster!! often talking about food!! - eiden saying affirmations in the mirror about himself :)<3 - yakumo being forced to repeat eiden's compliments about his stamina and cuteness 😂
Nerdkumo: - some extra lines of being nervous and flustered never hurt anyone
Shadow Lineage: - a loooot of backstory but it's from Great Serpent POV/outside narrative, so it's not as relevant voice-wise - if they could squeeze in some distress noises every time yakumo nearly dies , that would be great
umbrella yaku: - yakuei being scared about ghosts and clinging onto each other - baby yaku? but... he's just crying again, in a pitched up voice probably. not the MOST interesting for me 🤨
Mermaid yaku: - the stupid sappy moment where eiden lies on yaku's lap and gets his tummy rubbed and theyre all disgustingly sweet n whispery
Iced coffeeyaku: - rei and blade!! - confident service yaku voice? talking with customers??? - yakumo switching between his calm happy-to-serve mode to being DEAD FLUSTERED by eiden's advances - idk something about yakumo acting as little coffee boy with a jingly collar .. bringing back this relevant line from the aster/yaku fic:
#NO RECENCY BIAS ALLOWED. WE'RE GOING BACK TO THE BEGINNING *examines every room*#i feel like i'm not great at matching up with popular opinion#dare i get what i wish for? unlikely. but i shall wish nonetheless#i wonder what the numbers will choose!#many rooms have yaku talking normally. conversationally. the classic eiden-clan member verbal jamgle#so i want to vote for something that will enrich the yaku vocal experience. something with... rare delicacies!?!?!#even if i don't get to hear angryaku. as long as i get to hear some flustered yaku or whispery yaku i'll be :)#i will defer to the mains of other chars for most cases. you know. consult the bladeguy the kuyaguy etc.etc.#i want to vote for units i have but i don't have enough of everyone :(#there ARE some units that i enjoy tho so i might vote for those#like sunburst dante . one of the few dantes i have but i really like that one. sulky eiden... wonderful...#and i'll have to revisit my rei rooms because i do not remember how much of a freak i am about maid rei. must check#for eiden it's gonna be bunnyboy timetraveller . no contest#THREE MR EIDEN. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TURN DOWN THREE MR EIDEN!!!!!!!#i'm sorry to eiden's va. god works hard but eiden's va works harder something somethin#fhishe listes#sorta rather kinda mad that vampire yaku managed to make it to the top of 2 of my lists.somehow.#ugh. EIDEN AND YAKUMO MIRROR PRACTICE IS REALLY FUNNY OK#and before that .yakumo cries while stuffing rice balls in his face. garbled crying#there's a lot i enjoy here despite the lot i don't enjoy here
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guys!!!!!! false god by tswift is so ranchers coded!!!!!!!!
#IVE BEEN POSTING SO MANY OF THESE#i'm sorry it's just. so them#i should make a tag for my song rambling i feel like i do enough of it to warrant that#nya's playlist#<- yes. using that now#anyways let me talk about false god#'we were crazy to think that this could work remember how i said id die for you honey'#HELLO!! tango saying id die for you about the canary curse.....#'we were stupid to jump in the ocean separating us' empires vs hermitcraft 'remember how id fly to you' the rift????#'i still do it for you babe' hmmmmmm yes Yes.#'they all warned us about times like this' they all warned them that things would be different between soulmates after double life ended...#since the bond/link/wtv was gone...... and everyone told them that but they Didn't Believe it#'the road gets hard and you get lost when you're led by blind faith'#blind faith that things will work out.... that the universe was right when it paired them together.....#'but we might just get away with this' !!!!!!!!#LIKE!!!!!#'even if it's a false god we still worship this love' EVEN IF THE SOULMATE PAIRINGS WERE TOTALLY RANDOM. WED STILL WORSHIP THIS LOVE!!!!!!!#'i know heavens a thing i go there when you touch me honey hell is when i fight with you'#NOTHING INTELLIGENT TO ADD TO THAT ONE. JUST INCOHERENT SCREAMJNG BC THEMMMMM!!!!!!!#sorry i love them so bad chat SO BAD#'you can't talk to me when im like this daring you to leave me just so i can try and scare you'#dies. crawls away and literally dies#trafficblr#hermitblr#solidaritygaming#jimmy solidarity#tangotek#solidaritek#rancher duo#nya talks
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what the actual fuck was Tikki thinking telling Marinette that Chat Noir is her soulmate. after seeing with her own two eyes just how obsessed she is with Adrien. like seriously is she stupid 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i want to know what the fuck was going through her head. like, obviously she couldn't have known Marinette would react the way she did but STILL. TIKKI. I AM GRABBING YOUR TINY HEAD AND POPPING IT IN MY FIST. IDIOT (i love tweos btw <3<3<3)
this pretty much
#you gotta remember that tikki is trying SO HARD to follow canon here. basically#the show is what is *supposed* to be happening. everyone is just doing their job poorly#wissym answers#you've been in my inbox forever anon i'm so sorry#tweos
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Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.
#I can't remember the last time I took a Deadpool comic and genuinely had a good time about it#I hate the direction they took with his character and it's so disrespectful that I don't even talk about I don't even think *any* Deadpool#fan genuinely talk about it because were so tired of his kids characterization we all just collectively decided to ignore whatever hell#marvel through at him#but rant aside#it's just–#I am not sure if comic books are fun anymore I don't even know who I am making content for half of the people on my notes haven't touched#comic book and aren't pretending to do so#people who read the comics tend to be so mean or bitter about it that even if you follow most will be angry about something#comic or fan related and I don't know if I can blame them but following that is draining#and as much as I was trying to be a good sport about it you make a post about comic book characters and#and the overwhelming response is 'I don't read the comics but'– following up by a take about them that doesn't even recognize any core#aspect of their personality that you can't even grasp you can't even recognize them#you can't recognize them on tue cannon you can't recognize them on the fannon#and no matter how engaging you try to make content about the fandom people just–*refuse* to read it. And then– they *refuse* to tag fannon#content as fannon#and *refuse* to leave either#Yes we are all having fun but how can a character tag be so so filled with people who have no idea of who they are#how can a character can be properly loved and take care of and have content that respect them if no one makes any attempt to *know them*#and it's disheartening because *comics* are supposed to be fun *fannon are supposed to be fun*#but for aome reason it's really *really* hard to have fun here anymore#I created this page to share my love for the characters I care about and see more content of people who care about them too#but I can't even *find* people who care about them any more and when I do they're all so angry and upset– And I *cant even blame them*#I just... I don't know why I am doing this anymore or for who I am doing this anymore#sorry to vent but it's been a while since I haven't been had a genuinely good time™ enjoying comics#I don't think even people who write those comics enjoy those comics or care about those characters#Sometimes feels like everyone is projecting on those characters rather than *writing about them*. And I can't find them anymore#fanfics used to be about love petters to characters who you love#nowadays seems like a competition to see who makes more funny words with tropes pre-written since 2007#vent
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idk how to live so im going to talk to myself out loud until i do
#listen. take a deep breath. i know your bpm is high but you need to think with me for a second.#remember that you are paper thin. all your facets are sheets of paper and what you gave her is just another one.#make a new one. you dont need it. you dont need her to see you. i know you think you need her but you will be okay. i know its hard.#you wish you could have shown her how you loved her. listen to yourself. you are made of paper.#she might be concrete or maybe wood or maybe gold. you need to start laying your roots elsewhere. shut that thought down#and blink and listen. the parts you keep thinking of arent lost. they still happened and they are yours to keep.#there is beauty in this loss. tell me about the beauty in this loss. its okay to think about it. you got to see it all and nothing more#and this is great because it would have been bad. you know it would be violent in a way you dont need. you know this to be true.#you are going to look at that empty space in her shape and youre going to fill it with everything that happened when you knew her.#the memories with her but then also the the way your friends talked you through it. the game with the clovers.#your first allergic reaction you almost died and you couldnt stop laughing and you were held so close to their hearts.#learning the names for all the floursecent gene tracking dyes that everyone else knows already. about the exam - listen again.#i know you think if you fail your life is over but you need to try your best. youre not going to get a good grade in a uni test for the fir#youre going to make up for it. youre going to make sure you make up for it. do you understand? i love you. you have to do this.#right now you need to sit up. breathe. i know your heart hurts. go to the living room. grab something to eat. i dont care if you feel full.#youre going to clean your mattress heater. youre going to study a bit longer and then youre going to sleep. youre going to tell your mother#im sorry and i might genuinely fail a test. shes going to tell you its okay. if you do badly in this course you can just become a neurosurg#just agree. dont argue right now. its okay. youre okay. you are paper thin. i know any puncture hurts.#breathe. think of your friends. think of their hands in yours. it isnt eternal.youve lived through worse. the empty sky is still beautiful.#the lack of her is still beautiful
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If Piko's dress has//had pockets where do you think they are//would be? asking because I need to write that he put his phone in his pocket and I realized I Don't Know Where He Would Even Have Them on his clothes.
I feel compelled to add his boxart image here and I don't know how to explain why so I'm not gonna even try. Here. Have him.
#vocaloid#utatane piko#I don't know how to describe it but that strange grey thing above the semicircle triangle light#near the bottom of the 'skirt' part of the dress seems like the most likely area for someone to be able to put a pocket#on that outfit. Like kind of like a hidden pocket. esp with the black line connecting the two#which could act like a seam for the pocket#I am on pc since that's the easiest way to access this tumblr most of the time (I don't want to log out of personal on mobile)#so I can't go crop the picture to focus on just that area#that whole not wanting to log out thing killed my first and only attempt at an ask blog btw (that plus drawing fatigue)#I'm pretty sure that's a dress#Why do all my favorite vocaloids wear confusing clothes and have hard to remember designs#JUST LET ME DRAW YOU WITHOUT A REFERENCE HUYGHHYHHHJ#piko vocaloid#I'm also trying to figure out his heels//heeled boots but that doesn't matter to what I'm writing#Piko's design is so confusing#YukitA please make more art of him I know it's been like 13 years (?) since you last drew him but I need references#I feel awkward looking this over so I'm gonna stop worrying and just. post it.#sorry everyone /hj
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Take a gander at what has emerged from my drafts!! Finally getting around to posting the Post-Timeskip refs for Bun--
Artwork for Bun's Human-Beast; ie Bun-Beast form done in colaberation with @sun-uwu-kong!! [Please be sure to check out his blog if you like his work!]
🔽🔽!!Detailed Profile Below!! ⬇️⬇️
・❥・Name: Bun-Bun Silva [“Silver”] ・❥・Moniker: “Lucky Lepus” ・❥・Age: 27 [ Pre-Timeskip], 29 [pictured; Post-Timeskip] ・❥・Devil Fruit: Rabbit-Rabbit Fruit, Model: Wolpertinger ・❥・Haki: Conquer’s Haki; which Bun is able to utilize with limited ability. Mainly it contributes largely to how bun can both tame - and harness strong understandings with - the many creatures of the world. Alas, Bun never received the proper training to have complete mastery over her talent, which means it can’t be utilized to its fullest potential. Notably, Bun can only be formidable with her Haki subconsciously/in a signification state of distress. Bun is completely unaware of her ability- as are most others. ・❥・Spouse: La.ffitte ・❥・Affiliations: The Bl.ackbeard Pirates ・❥・Relevant Arcs: [Pre]A.labasta, J.aya, Post-En.ies Lobby, Ma.rineford, Post-War, [TIMESKIP], D.ressrosa, Z.ou, W.ano, Eg.ghead
・❥・Bunself: ・The very same Bun-Bun Silva that everyone knows and loves! Ah, granted, this version of Bun harbors a few negative traits, a few bad habits that come to the surface more often than even she would like to admit. Oh what, did you expect Bun to be nary a flaw? What a naive assumption to make. Regrettably, Bun is as human as the rest of us… ・If one is unlucky enough to cross paths with a Bla.ckbeard Pirate, then Bun is just about the only one a person would “want” to run into. She never quite got on board with the whole “pirating” profession. A simple offering will do in place of actual pillaging— Complimentary meals, free services, generous gifts from shops and vendors; nothing that would put too much of a hole in a business’ profits. And individuals/their residences [save for the immensely, ridiculously wealthy] will not be bothered at all. Areas of an island where she has personally wandered through usually remain surprisingly intact, and no worse off. Mostly, she just wants to be left alone when going about her day. ・Bun is still nice to those around her as a default. And more importantly, Bun is still kind. It is immensely difficult for her to be unkind… without a worthy reason, of course. Bun has changed- depending on whom you ask; for the better or the worse. And yet, some things never do change. She will always be soft for those who need it. She will always take the time to put a baby bird back in its nest, or carefully usher a wayward insect back outside. ・But be ever mindful about rubbing Bun the wrong way. Bun has a bit of a temper broiling beneath the surface. Mind you, it takes quite a bit of pushing to get bun to that point, but once somebody has… there is no reversing what has been done. No one really ever knows what to expect when Bun is pushed past the threshold, though a grand scale explosion is always an inevitable certainty. The fallout after the fact is a degree of consequence that many aren’t prepared to cope with. It behooves those in her presence to ensure they stay off of her shit list. ・An audacious little bucket of sass; even more so after eating the Rabbit-Rabbit Fruit, Model: Wolpertinger. Bun has always been playful, if not a bit verbally impish. However, after spending all of her time amongst a crew of morally corrupt pirates who encourage every maladjusted trait bun boasts, she’s become a bit of a mouthy menace. ・Bun is never to be underestimated. Do not be deceived by her tiny frame and innocent appearance; do not think for a second she’s any less capable of impossible feats than her devious associates. This prey animal bites back- and she’ll take a chunk outta ya when she does so, too.
For more overall info in regard to this version of Bun; please check out the #Forbidden Fruit AU tag on my blog! A few important info dumps are:
・On Bun's Dynamics with the crew [1], [2], [3]
・On Bun's thoughts on Teach [1]
#dividers by @/v6que#uh oh nobody look now but it’s time for another infodump pertaining to my Mary-Sue Era 🫣#hhhh I hesitate to post this even now because I just KNOW there’s context that I’m neglecting to share#tl;dr- this AU is an offbranch of my main OP selfship verse where Bun joins the BBP after the Al.abasta Incident#ack sorry I know I can’t expect everyone to follow the convoluted lore of all this nonsense#I’ve talked about it so much with select people it can be hard to remember what I’ll I’ve shared and what all has not been expanded upon#this artwork has been sitting in my drafts since July. no joke.#also the second ref is just to show off bun’s markings! she does wear clothing while in human-beast form!!#S/I: Bun-Bun Silva#Forbidden Fruit AU#one piece self insert#self insert au#self insert reference#self insert art#self insert#my art#my s/i#s/i art#s/i#ignore the typos in the tags btw lol#also pls check out Dev’s blog- he provided the sketch for Silva’s wolpertinger form!
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