#sorry im frustrated abt this
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sotd! when will plans i make to see this guy stop falling thru due to extenuating circumstances i am TRYING to upgrade our relationship to boyfriends here
#sotd 2023#IM SO FUCKING SICK#I FEEL SO DAMN AWFUL#I WAS GONNA GO TO HIS PLACE AND WATCH SOME MCYT UPLOADS WITH HIM TOMORROW BUT NOOOO#MY IMMUNE SYSTEM SAID FUCK YOU HAVE THE WORST COLD YOU'VE HAD IN YEARS#HAVE A HEADACHE AND CONGESTION AND ALSO A LITTLE BIT OF A FEVER BECAUSE GOD FORBID YOU GET BITCHES#sorry im frustrated abt this#im not gonna go over. i dont wanna get him sick im considerate like that#but FUCK MAN!!!!!#am i asking for too much. i just want cuddles#i want to sit in a cute boys arms and rant abt how ethoslab is so babygirl.#siiiggghhh#im gonna go sleep for 12 hours now
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anyway in the past week the irish government has voted down two motions which would have condemned the genocide in gaza.
i need everyone to stop lionising ireland as if its not also a european government with strong ties to the us. american weapons pass through shannon airport and will continue to, because yesterday the motion to stop that was voted down 83 to 50.
other governments have done much more but somehow people still act as though ireland is the ultimate palestinian ally and exempt from criticism on its handling of palestine bc it was once colonised, even though that past experience clearly isnt being taken into account by the irish government when creating policy.
i live here i know there’s a lot of public support and sympathy for palestine, which is great, but that isnt reflected in government, and i think ireland should be treated like other countries whose governments have done nothing.
#i mean i think theres also a discrepancy btwn the govt and the people on palestine bc there hasnt been a general election since early 2020#before the last few rounds of aggression by israel brought it back into mainstream western discussion#but also theres a degree of privilege in ppl not having felt the need to think abt it in 2020 yk. palestinians have been thinking abt this#since 1948#there’s also the fact that ideological support of palestine absolutely doesn’t equate to better treatment of muslims#i can promise you this country is still very islamophobic and racist no matter where you go#and i feel like that gets glossed over when ireland is treated as the ultimate ally of palestine when. realistically. it isnt#be quiet b#sorry this is like paragraphs but im becoming frustrated 👍#ive seen other posts abt this im not the first to say it they were just unrebloggable. understandably
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sinking to the floor.... i really want to explain my thought process for my voice designs but i need to draw them first.... raughhhhh
#it's been 11 months since i first drew broken! and so so so much agony since then!!!!#please... i need to justify all the anime tropes i shamelessly indulged in...#sorry to any of you frustrated i keep talking abt my designs without actually posting any art#im equally frustrated gfhfzhkhg#isn't depression so fun :softsmile:#♡. txt
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get that guy away from isat
#vagueposting abt a video#i will not watch it bc ive seen what my friends have said it sounds so dogshit HELP#convinced this guy barely played the game/hj#sorry its my favorite game i can be a bit gatekeepy protective over it#BC ISAT IS GOODDD#pastell speaks#im still frustrated abt it the convo abt it was a bit ago but grr
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hi….! any chance we can see your art process ? it’s fine if not! i was wondering if u do a sketch before your lines or you just skip directly to lineart? your art is very beautiful!
HI!!! AUGGHHHJHH THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH T__T my art style is kinda simple imo so my process is pretty bare-bones ^^;; there's not rly much too it!! it also kinda changes depending on how uhhhh lazy im feeling in the moment HAHA
probably around half of my drawings are straight to line art bc they're rly just doodles or things i decide to draw without any planning (but also im kinda impatient so i try to skip the sketching step if i can LOL...). but if i DO have a specific pose in mind for a drawing, i'll start with a sort of mannequin sketch or loose pass, then depending on how messy it is, ill either do the lineart pass on the layer on top or duplicate the sketch and then clean it up.
and then my coloring process is not sophisticated at all i just create a new layer and then paint bucket tool away LMAOOOO
here's an example of a drawing where i did sketch first ^_^
#clarification on the second image: usually when i make changes to the sketch i just go straight to lineart rather than doing a second pass#which i what i did for this drawing. i just like to minimize how many sketch passes i do (again bc i am impatient and lazy lol)#but also bc personally i get frustrated when my lineart doesnt turn out like my sketch so the solution my brain came up with is to..#...skip sketching i guess LMAO;;#idk if this was helpful or not AHGHAAH my process is rly nothing fancy and there's not much to show T_T;#ALSO OMFG IM SOOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND TO GKJFHDJG THIS WAS SENT LIKE A MONTH AGO I THINK T_____T#i saw this when i got off the plane coming home from a trip and then i remembered it a few days later#but then in the middle of writing my answer i left to eat dinner and forgot to save so when i came back the page refreshed#and deleted everything i wrote T____T AND THEN IFORGOT ABT IT AGAIN
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If you want my opinion, I think we should give Lone Wolf the benefit of the doubt, yes it does look a little bit cheap in some areas but the game does look pretty fun and both the art and characters are still on point. Alice and Sammy are also returning so that’s a plus! I think it’s best that we stay optimistic for this game and Bendy’s future.
That's fair and I respect your opinion, I think my thing is I'm worried people are too optimistic about Bendy's future games being better than the ones they've already created because the team behind Bendy is very anti-listening to feedback. Which means it's likely these games won't improve unless fans make a bigger push to be more critical of them and show the devs they won't spend their money unless the team can prove they care about this franchise and aren't gonna let the polish drain just because it makes more money.
I criticize Bendy not because I want it to die or be bad, I only do it because I hope one day either 1. A competitor rises up and gives the fans essentially a better version of Bendy that they deserve and they can use my feedback and others to see where it can be improved. or 2. The bendy team listens to my feedback and the general fandom's to make future games better. Plus generally get their act together.
As it stands the trailer is rushed and cheap, which is bad because a trailer for a game should be the most polished part of the affair. I mean this is what is supposed to convince people to buy the game when it comes out! I had the same problems with The Cage and I'm unhappy to see this becoming a pattern. [I mean that's a game I'm even more confident is going to horribly crash and burn cause I honestly don't know why'd they make a midquel to a game which everyone hated the ending of-]
Look. I understand some people feel a sort of loyalty to the Bendy devs, it's hard not to feel like you're in some sort of friendship when it comes to such a small indie team. But at the end of the day you have to remember defending them when they mess up only gives them more reasons to ignore feedback and most of all you don't know Mike or Meatly as people outside of what they Choose to show in their public image. So when the public image they've crafted is one that's bad and leaves people worried about how the games they're making are gonna turn out. Nobody can be blamed but them. And if you really care about them and/or Bendy it's better to boost feedback even if it's negative.
Like sure Sammy and Malice are returning but look at the treatment they got in Dark Revival! Meatly and Mike have never addressed how poorly done the original characters were in that game and I think it's cause far as they're concerned it was perfectly fine and people are complaining about nothing. [That or enough people didn't seem to care for it to matter to them whether that point was valid or not] Despite the fact Sammy was shot down for a gag after finally speaking up [and was in a ton of Dark Revival marketing material] and Malice was nothing more than a rip off of her chapter 3 self with no interesting changes, we never got to hear her thoughts on how the world is doing, on how she feels now hearing her enemy, the ink demon, was supposedly killed, or on Wilson, the keepers, etc. I mean it was a huge waste and with the promise Sammy will be 'restored to his Chapter 2 glory' I want to call this poor writing out now rather than wait for the cage to come out and pretend I never saw it coming.
Criticism is a good thing for Bendy, we should embrace it rather than shunning or discouraging it. I hope most of us can agree on that. Even if I seem harsh, I would rather lean towards that, than risk going too easy with my words and being ignored by the devs.
#ramblez#feel free to reblog!#batim#batdr#bendy lone wolf#bendy and the ink machine#boris and the dark survival#bendy and the dark revival#I hope this doesnt seem too harsh this person was being fairly polite its just that its a little frustrating when ppl are like#but why cant we just ignore the red flags and its like I understand ur trying to say think positive#but ignoring red flags esp abt a game people are gonna spend money on just feels kinda crappy#like no I dont want to mislead people into thinking I liked this trailer I did not and I wanted to say why and why I think Bendy is getting#worse by also talking abt the trends its following with recent releases and such#if others disagree thats fine but telling me I should be more positive just kinda feels sometimes like Im being told to shut up#esp being told to give the benefit of the doubt to a team who has not earned it at all like Im sorry but no I will not#they are not to be trusted I dont trust them and I dont think anyone else should either#I cant stop those people obviously but like u cant tell me to give them the benefit of the doubt and then have the most mild#defenses of the trailer on how it brought 2 characters back and looks fun#also Im not sure I agree on the art considering the animations look p bad but agree to disagree I suppose#anyways if anyone reads all this um if u check my ramblez tag u can see the og post I made on that trailer the ask is refrencing#okay bye-
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I'd like to improve my art but I often find myself getting frustrated due to inconsistency and general dissatisfaction and frustration with what I draw. I have a lot of vivid ideas of what I want to do, but I have a hard time actually doodling them down and I was wondering if you had any advice? Of course it takes practice, I know, but it's hard to consistently practice when you just feel upset with how most of your drawings turned out after putting a lot of effort into it.
that’s a tough question! i think i used to be in a very similar rut about a year or two ago (and it’s something i can guarantee EVERY SINGLE ARTIST goes through!), and the honest truth I can give u about how i got out of it was a complete change in mindset.
a good question to ask yourself is: what am I drawing for? For fun, for engagement, to improve? none of these are necessarily a wrong thing to draw for, but they can, and DO, affect how you interpret your own work. the best thing I ever did for myself was when I shifted my focus from engagement to fun (it’s not an immediate change— I was in nearly a 2 yr drawing dry spell to re-find myself and my passions!). i abandoned my old art account of a different social media platform bc while i had good engagement there, it didn’t make me happy. I decided that id draw what i love and id draw it just for myself, and later down the line i might share it w people (like I am now!) now none of my art either disappoints me or makes me proud, I just draw to draw! all I can do is draw something, decide if there’s something to be improved on, and keep it in mind when I draw my next thing.
A cute piece of advice I heard once was from an artist who thought of drawing as “taking their pen for a walk”. If you approach pieces with a detailed composition in mind, ur bound to be disappointed! bc how can we possibly achieve smth exactly as we see it in our mind?? I really encourage you to just draw for the sake of drawing and just walk ur pen around ur canvas. I have like 10 canvases on my procreate that are just me drawing the same kendall face/head with different goofy fucking ugly ass smiles bc guess what!! I LOVE DOING IT !!!!
please just remember that u are on a road all artists end up on. there are artists who’s work u find flawless and beautiful who most likely think the exact same way you do! draw bc it’s fun and bc it’s what you love, and if you feel it isn’t, take a fat ass break from it and reevaluate what you love just like I did!
#not the best advice im sorry 💕 im not v good at that#it’s inevitable to be frustrated by ur art when ur taste for art surpasses ur technical skill#it really becomes a matter of drawing just for u#and sometimes the only way to do that is to do it completely removed from social media (if ur someone that has an art blog#feel free to chat w me more abt this if u want! ill help how I can but I don’t consider myself a professional advice giver 💕#chitchat
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by the lighthouse.
dividers
#alright i suppose i should tell what's up lately! im mostly posting this like a mini update or whatever haha#so - since i made that last post on my disappearance i worked endlessly to finish my animation project and thank goodness it's finally over#i had to take a break from trying to be social here and just stay in my own space and i did that by having a smaller side blog to ramble#the project was very... tiring - definitely took out so much energy from me post physically and mentally and i was just frustrated everyday#so i just took my time to be alone with a few close people and i like to think im okay now?#i like to think so - since i was able to deliver a few commission drafts today so i'm relieved that im back to my usual pace#I'll post a few of my doodles here i did during my project just to fill the void haha#i've acquired a minor familial from another video game and i care for him a lot :] idk ill bother to talk abt it here but yeah thats funnn#also indulging a lil bit of t.n.m.n content as of late also thanks to my friend who knows abt it hehe#soo yeah! I don't know if ill be active like the usual but know that i'm doing alright now! hope everyone's doing okay too xoxo#ill probably still stay in my smaller blog for a little longer but will occasionally pop in here!#sooo yaaa#~ art#💚 memoryshipping#also yea i think no.rton only had like. 10 days worth of being the blog brand here until i switched back to the usual guy lmaooo sorry 😔
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the process of character design can be difficult and arduous and you can have pages and pages of iterations that you explore as you try to figure out what you want, what works and what doesn't, what reads well and what's confusing.
it can be so complicated and it can require so much research and so much thinking and attempting to think outside the box, to try to do new things and not the same tired ideas that you might have started with or sprung from.
it's so much, it's so complicated, it's so MESSY, and I love it. I don't know how to explain why I LOVE this process. it's a challenge my brain just wants to chew on and pull apart. I talk to myself in my notes, I hop from idea to idea and I do shape studies and body studies and silhouette studies. my lines are loose and free as i try to capture gesture. I feel like I'm pushing myself to make decisions on what I want to convey with a design. what do you get at a glance? what can you find on a closer look?
it's a messy, weird, confusing process. I love it to pieces.
#sorry ive been thinking abt this for DAYS#character design has always been my thing i excelled at#and ive worried ive been in a rut of late so ive been trying to push it again#and the past week i've been really REALLY pushing myself in an area im not great at#and it was so frustrating in the beginning but Im really having fun now even if im not making tons of progress#because it's an exploration! Im making a map of where ive been while i figure out where im going
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maybe this is just me being annoyed but whenever i try to talk abt my ocs here [which i very rarely do for this exact reason] it always gets zero engagement whatsoever. like i dont come here for Attention i come here for interaction which do kind of go hand in hand but. getting like 7 likes any time i pour my heart out about my guys is. disheartening. and it sucks because talking abt them is part of the way to get people to care! but i dont have the motivation for comics all the time [and when i do they dont get much attention either]. i feel like i should just stick to discord but im soo desprate to be heard and i feel like its hard to find The Right People to talk to
#especially when some of the people i wanna rant to dont use disc much. so i just yell into the void#this is abt sparks in particular but im miffed in general. with the response i get.#sky rambles#its just. frustrating. not mad at anyone in particular ofc !!!!!!#i need a friend who is online all the time who is always willing to hear me talk about stupid shit /SILLY#im actually Deranged about sparks rn i wish someone who Clicked With Autism was online on disc rn . so i could yap .#whatever.#sorry.#i just don't get what my guys don't have ????/ i guess probably constant art#i wish i could explain things concisely so people would care at all
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LITERALLY FILLED OUT 2989947986 PAPER FORMS SO I CAN SKIP SCHOOL FOR A WEEK AND GO ON A FAMILY TRIP BUT MY UTERUS SAID NO. MY RAGE IS IMMEASURABLE
#tis one of those days when i wish i was born a creechur of unspecified gender instead of Hooman#no person on earth deserves to go through period cramps. it's unfair to uterus owners everywhere.#i say uterus owners because it's double frustrating when you dont even identify as female like GEEZ#i could not care less abt this organ being here. wdym i have to suffer for the rest of my life bc of it >:0#like.. i dont even want it.. Guy In Charge you could have given it to someone else who wanted it..#somehwere out there is a transmasc person who didnt get their uterus because it was assigned to the wrong person#i just want to say that person is me and im sorry#that went off on a very weird tangent. in my defense it's like 2 am and ive been sleep derpieved for days#vent#i think?? probably????#incoherent ramblings
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my fav persona games go from like persona 5 royal (3rd semester) -> persona 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -> p3/p4 (p1 unranked bc im not done yet) LIKE IF 3RD SEM DIDNT EXIST / if p5 was only base p5, p2 would DEFINITELY be showstopper favorite...........
#cele talks#its bc p2 is basically 3rd sem but 10 times as crazy sorry imthinking abt this again#the tragedy and loss and isolation and quiet and frustration and fear and most of all THE LOVE. yeah#but unforch royaltrio has me by the throat#edit: and its literally the way im only hyperfixated on p5r 3rd sem lawllllll like GIRL WHAT ABT THE OTHER 100+ HOURS
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bitches be like. i hate vegans so much that i’ve decided i like killing animals and its fine and i dont feel bad and animals dont have feelings and its fine and im cool subversive and different and edgy and like to post fucked up stuff to make vegans uncomfortable bc im just so cool
#you sound like every cishet republican man to me#you're not a Cool Subversive Leftist you're literally regressing by seeing animals as just objects of your pleasure and thats it lmao#im sorry but you dont just get to throw out all of veganism. it does infact have some roots in leftism.#you can sit there and cope with the fact you agree w some vegan talking point by calling it 'animal welfare' all you want#doesnt change the fact that a lot of those ideas in those circles were formed by vegans.#damn woooah vegans arent a monolith and dont all agree on the same shit woooahhh who knew#literally i have no idea how we even got to this point or how this would be surprising.#when i was on vegan twitter bitches were arguing all the fucking time within it. ur really gonna sit ther en tell me they're all secret#eco fash that hates native ppl and people who have to eat meat? ya sure???#you would think the individuals on tumblr- of all places- would understand how frustrating it would be to be grouped in with the worst#members of their community as if you represent them and are the sole spokesperson#you'd think they'd hate when someone jumps to conclusions about them based on their lifestyle#but naur. i think yall take it too personally. as if a vegan just being in a room is somehow trying to force you to be vegan.#literally grow tf up.#if a vegan being in the same room with you triggers feelings in you that you Have to stop eating meat- i really think thats a you problem#bud. homeboy hasnt even spoke to you leta lone look at you and apparently you feel this weird pressure now#idk man dont you think that pressure might be coming within?? maybe.... you do infact feel things and feel a lil guilty abt eating meat?#not telling you to stop... i still eat meat here n there. but at least im honest with myself about how it makes me feel to do it.#its infact normal to take a second to think about the loss someone made in exploitation to provide you with whatever.#if you can let yourself feel a lil guilt about buying a fast fashion thing you can sure as fuck finally extend your fuckin empathy to#animals and stop treating them like objects or toys.
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#meg talks#just venting#im in so much pain it’s not even funny#im sorry for being inactive for so long i really was not anticipating this#the good news is ive made a lot of progress on compiling the spreadsheet for vetted gaza funds#so that once ive cleared out the dms i can add additional mods and get the ball rolling properly again#the bad news is that my insomnia is back and my pain is getting so bad i can barely get out of bed or eat#i don’t think it’s related to the fundraising work so much as… everything else -_-#i didn’t want to be out of a job for this long#and having to send so many applications and make so many fucking unhelpful phone calls a day to doctors and help centers…#idk. this isn’t me complaining abt the fundraiser work if anything it’s the only rewarding thing im doing rn#but im frustrated w myself and with my body and with. everything#it’s not just my own family relying on me anymore#and that makes it hard to deal with all this. like i could be using my time and energy way better than this.#but instead im playing phone tag to try and prove that im disabled and need to feed my brothers.#im just cjdhxgxjcncj sigh. whatever if i can just get over this hump then the rest will be downhill#and my friend is going to help me w cooking this weekend so that me and my bros can eat better#so hopefully that will give me a boost too#idr where i was going w this. probably nowhere jdgdjdnxnc im just miserable rn bc i can’t sleep and my leg hurts
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doctor thinks i have hypothyroidism which would make sense (my mum has it and my brother had it) and it would explain some of my symptoms (the tiredness/depression, dry/painful skin, poor appetite, cold sensitivity and joint pain) but typically it doesn't cause the stomach pain & sickness i'm getting.
he's More worried now abt my continued weight loss since hypothyroidism typically causes weight gain, but still can't give me any advice or resources on being able to actually Eat.
They're super understaffed so it takes a long time to get any appointments, which i know isn't his fault, but I wish he could do Something or book Other types of tests while I wait on the blood tests.
i'm just worried that he's going to focus on This and not keep testing for other things that could be causing me to be unwell, esp since every test i book takes Weeks to happen. ik this needs to be fixed but. can we. also check for other things please
#zac sickposting#sorry abt last night i was exhausted and sad and frustrated#im doing better today mentally#its just frustrating. i wish he was willing to do more
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blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl
#I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE BLOCKED ALREADY. i am TRYING to curate my experience 😭😭😭#and i have so many tags blacklisted fjdsjkl like. so many. every single variation of tag to do with those chuckleheads#which helps avoid them a lot of the time tbh bc it'll flag posts that ppl rb if the original post was tagged w any of those#so i can avoid rbing posts that have chuckleheads as the op most of the time#i also usually double check OP's blog before i rb stuff now bc man this place is rife with these weirdos#ANYWAYS. yes i want to try to engage w the community but i do not think i can handle it if theres gonna be so many edgelords jkdslfl#the only way i follow new ppl now is when yall do promo hour and i sometimes see a new face pop up fdsjkl#every now and then i have energy to try to engage with new ppl but its so difficult when so many ppl are such insufferable edgelords !!!!#''im the nasty pr-sh-pper your parents warned you about 😎'' cool man you sound like the most insufferably obnoxious person ever. :/#''if you like CENSORSHIP-'' i am hitting block immediately bc u have a fundamental misunderstanding of what censorship actually is 👍#I'M TIREDDDD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUMB ABOUT THIS STUFF. ''fiction doesn't affect reality'' I GUESS PROPAGANDA DOESNT EXIST THEN ????#what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly.#vent //#SORRY FOR THIS ONE IM JUST. ARGH. ppl talk abt encouraging community but i think maybe im not cut out for community#i want desperately to partake but i cannot handle it if it means dealing w all these bozos#it frustrates me to no end fdhsjkl and it upsets me so much and i wish i could deal w it better but. my nervous system is broken fdsjkl#i will try to expand my circle every now and then but i cannot do it often bc of this 😭 im not going to give up entirely though fdsjkl#(also this is partially why i dont tag my posts w community tags anymore bc i am just. so scared of these freaks getting their hands on it)#(the most i'll do is s.afeship or variations every now n then bc supposedly they're not in those tags fdsjkl)#delete later#dandyshucks
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