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lostbetweenvampiresandmusic · 1 month ago

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Changes chapter 28

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Max was quiet as he heard his sons and daughter upstairs, looking at his two dinner guests with an apologetic smile.

"Julie has been through a lot," was all he said as he motioned for them to start eating. The boy, Laddie - Max reminded himself, did so immediately, digging in as if it was the first proper meal he had in ages. Come to think of it, Max thought, it probably was. The boys had absolutely given the two people food, but to call take out a proper meal when you eat it every day? He shook his head, looking at Star.

"You don't have to feel guilty. You didn't harm her."

"My family did."

"Yes." Max nodded. "And it's good you realise that that's the reason why she refused to see you."

"What- What did they do to her?" Star asked, a scared look on her face. Max put his cutlery down, sighing as he looked at the young woman.

"It is not my place to tell you. They broke her, took everything from her, and more. That's all I can say." He shook his head, wondering if he had already said too much. "I understand from David that you know what we are, and that you think of us as monsters."

Star nodded, not looking at the man. She had considered the boys monsters, after seeing what they had been capable of. But Max? Max seemed like a very normal, everyday kind of guy.

"If you think of us as monsters, you can consider the ones that did this to Julie to be demons. We may be bad, but they are way - way worse."

Star swallowed hard, nodding as she looked at the table in front of her.

"And you're certain you're alright?" Shelly looked at Maria. Maria smiled, nodding as she rubbed her bandaged arm. The videostore she was working at was calm right now, which was why she had asked Max if she could fill that shift. Max had initially wanted to keep her from going to work by gifting her a couple of weeks of paid leave, but Maria had refused. She didn't want to be pitied. She liked the distraction, and besides, Max had offered to pay her double - which was a welcome gift. Not only did it mean she could buy what she wanted, but she could also go and get some much needed therapy.

"I am, really. Is Greg, is he treating you well? After the boys told me what he did-"

"It was horrible, especially when he ended up shooting the poor thing. But he's been an angel to me, making sure I am fine and protected wherever I go." Shelly rolled her eyes as she pointed at two surfnazis. "I keep telling him I survived that whole ordeal without him, but he can't get over the idea that I might not need him in order to feel and be safe."

"Well, at least he cares, right?" Maria chuckled, offering Shelly a cup of tea. The girl took it, taking a sip as she thought about what Maria had said. She shrugged.

"He's certain that there's more behind this all. He is still talking to that wannabe detective from the comicbook store, hoping he'll find out more."

"What does he expect to find? Proof that they were fucking assholes? Besides, last I heard was that he and his wife were charged with possession. I dont know what kind of shit they've been smoking, but I don't think this guy's intel is going to be reliable." Maria said, smiling at a shocked woman who rushed out of the store with her two young children. Luckily, Max wasn't here. Even despite the special circumstances, he didn't like profanities being used in the store.

"Fuck do I know," Shelly shrugged as she sighed. "Anyways, we should get some drinks sometime soon, or watch a movie or something."

"At least being kidnapped and tortured brought us back together as friends," Maria rolled her eyes with a teasing smile.

"You know what they say, those who get taken together stay-"

Maria laughed as she waved Shelly goodbye, looking at the clock. Fifteen minutes before closing. As she tidied up the desk and checked the register, she couldn't help but wonder if Shelly truly wanted to be friends again or if it was a coping mechanism for her. If it was, would she herself want to be a part of it?

Star was quiet as Max did the dishes, Laddie gleefully announcing he was going to watch the latest episode of Duck Tales. Star nodded and smiled before slowly getting up from the table. She felt hesitation as she eyed the stairs, wondering if going up there was a good idea or not. But if she was going to stay with them, like David and Max had said repeatedly, then she would have to get along with everyone. Even if it was just a little bit. She didn't need to be friends with Julie. They just needed to be civil towards each other. So, with heavy footsteps, Star made her way up the stairs, halting in front of the door she assumed would lead to Julie's bedroom.

The laughter inside stopped, and Paul opened the door, an unimpressed look on his face. He was about to say something, Star guessed something along the line of 'what are you doing here' or 'how long have you been listening?'. Before he could say something, however, she opened her mouth.

"Can- can I talk to Julie?"

Paul shrugged. "I don't know. Marko, can she?"

"Shit, do I know, let David decide."

Three boys chuckled.

"How about you let me decide?" A girl spoke up, and Star couldn't help but feel frozen to the ground. She had heard this voice before. A long time ago.

Julie got up from her bed, moving past Paul to stand in the doorway. She looked at Star, eyeing the purple skirt she was wearing, the large earrings. Star had felt confident in this outfit, but with the way Julie was looking at it, slowly picking it apart, she began to feel more insecure with the second.

"What do you want?"

Star didn't say anything as she looked at her, taking the girl in. "I remember you..."

"What?"

"I- I think we met before. At a summercamp."

Julie raised an eyebrow. "I don't know shit about what happened before your people took me."

"Julie," David said her name with a warning tone, causing the girl to give him a glare. "Give her a chance."

"Why would I? Her family fucked me up. Good for you to trust her, but I don't."

The door slammed shut in Star's face before it was opened again, Dwayne stepping out. "It's a sensitive subject." He said, not bothering to apologise for Julie's behaviour. Frankly, he understood, and he was certain that in time Star would understand as well.

"I didn't mean to - I just, she's so different and yet still almost exactly the same as she was six years ago."

"If she is the girl you met at that summer camp."

"Julie, you can't keep on doing this!" Marko sighed as he sat down on her bed. Julie glared at him, an unimpressed look etched upon her face.

"You just said that it was totally fine that I do not like her! Bloody hypocrit." She glared at him, anger burning in her eyes. "Her family took my human life!"

"Lucien was not a part of their family," David snapped, his tone ice cold. Julie froze, not liking the tone. She had noticed something was off when David had ignored her when he had walked towards the window. Now she realised what it was. He didn't like the way she acted towards Star, for some reason. Now that she thought about it, he was awfully quick to jump to Star's defence. Weird. And, Julie thought, why was it that they suddenly weren't okay with how she acted? How could they say they understood her feelings and then get angry because she felt them? Julie looked at him, her eyes widening a little as she listened to what he was saying to her.

"Star's mother was a cause, not the one doing it. Neither was Star. Lucien harmed you and tortured you. And if you start judging based on who their family is," David glared at her, his voice colder than before, "then you must have forgotten who your sire was. Did you know that a vampire childe often takes over some characteristics of their sire?"

He spat those last words out, a disturbing smirk forming on his face as he realised his words got to her. Tears were burning in Julie's eyes as she paled at the thought of ever turning out like Lucien. He had ruined her in so many ways, played her, toyed with her as if her whole being meant nothing. She looked at David with disbelief, biting her lip as she tried to hold back the tears. She shook her head slightly, not willing to believe that he had just said this to her.

"I don't care if you cry," he glared at her. Julie glared back, her expression hardening.

"Get out of my room."

"Julie-" Marko tried, but she slapped his hand away, ignoring the crushing sound it made as it hit the wall.

"Get out of my room!" She screamed, her pained, emotional cry so loud that the glass in her mirror shattered, the boys quickly leaving. Down stairs, Max looked up, startled by the sudden anguished scream coming from his daughter.

"What on earth did you tell her?" Max blocked David from leaving, causing the younger vampire to groan in frustration.

"I told her what she needed to hear. That Star isn't to blame for her part and that she -"

Max' nostrils flared as he felt his face transform, the familiar batlike shape coming out. His eyes burned yellow. "You inconsiderate asshole!" He growled, lifting David up in the air with a single hand. "As if you were so reasonable after changing. As if you don't know better. Or have you forgotten how you were tricked, betrayed, and left for dead?" Max' voice turned calm, deadly calm in a way that gave David chills. "You might have threatened me before to treat her well. So let me tell you this, David. I will destroy you if I find that you have hurt my daughter again."

Next chapter >

#the lost boys #tlb #marko #david #paul #dwayne #the lost boys 1987 #tlb 1987 #star #the lost boys x reader #changes #max tlb #julie tlb #tlb oc

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foreverautumn89 · 3 months ago

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Cali storyline Pt 3//Jonathan/Wasted potential

At this point I'm just posting all recent rants about this subject because I never posted them. Usually I rant and then edit the hell out of all of it to narrow it down for you guys so I'm not repeating anything, but if I do that, these will never get posted at all so here ya go:

re-cap: So ppl are btcing constantly about how Cali storyline sucked/was a huge waste of time/Jonathan was a horrible person this season ext ext you know the usual---just to explain what I am complaining about:

In S4, Jonathan FINALLY had a storyline that was about HIM as a character. And yes the writers still messed it up because they pushed him to the background and gave him absolutely no screen time. But it was nice to see Jonathan being more than just Nancy's 'accessory' or 'prop' this time around. For once, Jonathan's storyline wasn't all about Nancy. It's actually everything I wanted from a Jonathan storyline:

Jonathan's storyline being about him growing as a person, him with his family, having scenes with him and Will and Mike again [[finally where its actually them interacting and not Nancy talking to them while Jonathan is quiet in the background], making a new friend ext.. instead of is entire storyline being about a girl he has feelings for.

And to be clear no this isn't me attacking Jancy or Nancy, it's just that Jonathan should have his own storyline and be a main character like he was supposed to be instead of a prop in the background that sits quietly and doesn't say anything most of the time in Nancy's scenes. He was supposed to be one of the main characters of this show. Not all the new characters. And since S1, new characters have came in and are more of a main character with more screentime than he has. I get the ppl in charge hate Charlie Heaton but if it was this much of an issue, then just re-cast Charlie. I don't want them to but if thats what they needed to do then make this work then it is what it is.

I still feel like we didn't even get to really know Jonathan yet and now the shows ending. Thats bs. This show was supposed to be about the Byers. Not everybody else that ever breathed in Hawkins. And the writers in the past are like 'well we dont have enough screen time to give to everyone' ok….so then STOP ADDING NEW MAIN CHARACTERS THEN EVERY SEASON WHEN THEYRE NOT NECESSARY...... or….you could make the show longer since a season of your show is only 8h long usually [S4 is just the exception AND another funny thing is that Jonathan/Cali still got barely any screen time even when they made the season a lot longer just want to point that out] But a season of their show is usually 8h long ONLY which is ridiculous. other shows like this are all 22 episodes/ 1h long making it 22h or more in one season. Even DW has at least 14 episode/14 hours worth of episodes a season. If you don't have a lot of screentime to give then stop adding new main characters I guess so you can give screentime to the characters you do have.

Everyone says they hate the Cali storyline/it was a waste it shouldnt have been in there at all: I feel the opposite. The cali storyline should have been a lot longer and it was bs that once again Jonathan who is supposed to be the main character was once again shoved to the background/given very little screentime/and ppl who are new to the show once again get more screentime than him.

So I was happy we finally finally we get to see Jonathan interacting with Will and Mike again which should have been the majority of the show to begin with btw. This show used to be about the Byers family and Jonathan and Will used to be main characters too. They should be front and center not in the background.

It also annoys me when ppl complain about the Cali storyline because its bad enough it only lasted 5 minutes, but you can't even let us have that without shtting on it every five seconds? You dont want to watch it cool then I guess skip over those whole 5 minutes that the Cali storyline actually got then.

I'm glad they finally gave Jonathan a storyline again especially one that contained what they should have been doing on this show the entire time. I continued watching ST in S2 BECAUSE I thought that Jonathan was going to continue being a main character and he was going to have all these scenes with Will and the boys and I wanted to see what Jonathan was gonna get up to next and what kind of adventures Jonathan was going to have. And I got really excited when I saw Samantha chatting him up at the Hallloween party. And then he was just turned into a prop in the background who had barely any lines and no screentime. There is so much wasted potential on this show when it comes to everything Jonathan.

#jonathan byers #st 5 spoilers #stranger things s5 #netflix stranger things

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thenixkat · 4 months ago

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apparently, Booster's not a fan of having rude women cling to him but he is a professional and he's gonna pretend to be friendly and excited about shit

the 1000 kidnapped the makers of the Booster Gold comic in-universe to drain what info they have on Booster Gold b/c teh senator is still very pissed off about Booster ruining his plans

huh say what you want about Booster Gold but his villains be killing people. Like killing people killing people, on a frequent basis

also Superman is in this town and apparently not investigating any large underground lead lined structures after the last one got publicly revealed to be a villain's lair

also its wild to me that the senator is going through all this effort when he could just plant a bomb in Booster's apartment. Like Booster doesnt have a secret identity, his address is findable

like you dont have to go through all his associates and their families again Booster's villains dont play around.

Senator yer beefing with a celebrity who doesnt even know yer the bad guy

Again Booster doesnt know how big yer organization is or even what it does. He's not investigating you. He's minding his own business and stopping the very blatant crimes yer guys are committing. He didnt even know who was behind the assassination attempt for the president and yall might have gotten away with it if the Legion hadn't been there instigating

again yer beefing with a dude who's been minding his own buisness and do more commercials than patrolling. You could literally just bomb his apartment or poison his food instead of all this convoluted fuckshit

the Boostermobile got repainted to match his costume

Booster's secretary makes him dress like a normal person to avoid getting press if they're gonna eat together

also why are so many of Booster's villains visibly disabled/deformed? That's certainly a choice that the writer and artist are making

sure he's joking but between that and bith him and Dirk having her work way outside of her shift hours I dont think Booster Gold is a good boss

yeah teh way Booster mangles phrases does suggest that he's some kind of foreign. But frankly, it should sound like he has an accent of some kind given that he's speaking English from several centuries in the future (and a later comic says that his first language is Esperanto so dude would have def an accent)

also Booster feels comfortable enough to tell his secretary some of his secrets like his birth name Just, Booster Gold should have a hell of a notable accent given everything. Facetiming Skeets, a robot that doesnt have a face

I'm going to assume that floater nets are for catching people if they need to jump out the windows of a highrise building or skyscraper as like a safety feature or used by emergency services

also the star on Booster's costume is different now again Booster's villains be killing people

like its not like villains werent killing people in Ted's comics or in JLI and stuff but like those didnt really have impact panels of corpses or bodies in the backgrounds of panels or a page with cops pulling a vehicle out of a ditch and describing exactly how the folks in it died.

Also, DC comics have a lot of coloring errors for something that explicitly has editors supposed to be checking shit also how the fuck did the Senator get more goons after one minion killed 900 of them at once and another minion melted a guys head for mentioning something he didnt like. Like yes, yall have benefits but i think a workplace that homicidal you just dont sign up for it

Again where the fuck is SUperman for half teh shit happening. WHy is Superman not showing up to help with a burning highrise apartment? Does he hate Booster Gold that much?

huh, would Skeets like more robot friends?

Booster's put together that the 1000 is after him b/c they sent some chatty ass robots

huh. Are you telling me Booster hasnt been charging his suit's batteries like he should be

…did he bring a charger for those power rods from teh future? …pls tell me Booster is aware that batteries lose charge over time that his 'powers' would decrease if the charge goes down. That he should be keeping track of the charge on those power rods

writer… if yer implying that yer tech using superhero doesnt bother upkeep for the suit that gives him his powers to the point that he doesnt know why he's gotten weaker… that's …

secretary lady, why are you crushing on yer boss? Why are you upset about him being asked questions about the celebrity that he's fake dating for publicity?

why you mad that Booster is a slut for the camera? you know what he's about why be mad about it if you like him? why date a model if yer gonna get upset about people openly drooling over him and him playing into it b/c it gets him paid more?

yer bad mouthing him for doing the shit that gets him money

#nix meows #nix reads comics #booster gold #booster gold 1986 #dc critical

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forwantofacalling · 7 months ago

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hsr yanqing for 3, 7, and 14? and perhaps our girl katniss for 20 and 24? :3

:0 omg hi garnet

3) Least favorite canon thing about this character?

I'm going to be honest with you i rarely remember anything canon about a character if i dislike it unless its TRULY abhorrent. but if we're going with LEAST favorite canon thing...probably that we don't get to see him enough :( where is my jing yuan yanqing post-ghosthunter event closure.

7) What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

draw him small and excitable like a puppy. he's truly just a littol guy. im also a HUGE sucker for whenever someone draws him standing/sitting/flying on his swords i just think its so cool and fun. ALSO i think ALL THE TIME about that one comic in which he keeps calling jy General even when they're alone and at home. and the follow-up one in which jy keeps calling him ANY other title except for his son. theyre so cute.

14) Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

oh god are you TRYING to get me killed on tumblr dot com. i mean i think he looks great in wuxia/xianxia style clothes 🥺 i also think it'd be fun to put him in techwear for an au or something. but other than that i have no notes LOL

20) Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

oh i swear i dont remember enough of the hunger games to answer this. wish i could give you a clever answer of "side character #41 and heres why" but personally im very soft for cinna and katniss's friendship,,, i think a lot about the fact that he requested his mockingjay sketchbook only be given to katniss if she decides to take up the mantle herself because he knew seeing his work would compel her to make the decision even if she didn't truly want to...wish we got to see more of them.

24) What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

god i suddenly have never been in any fandom ever in my entire life. uhhhh. god i think i have to say margaret nearl arknights for refusing to win the Major and instead carrying her competition down the path to the champions hall together. she doesn't do a lot of ground work herself in the trenches but she uses her status as a symbol to lead the charge for other resistance groups in kazimierz. because she's a nearl. all eyes are on her when she steps onto the screen and she knows it. the difference between her and katniss though would be that she wields her identity as the Radiant Knight very intentionally and without outside influence. hm. lots to think about.

anyway thanks for the questions :)) this was fun!

#silver talks

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turtlemagnum · 6 months ago

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there's this online recreation of the sans fight that i played religiously back in middle school before i even owned a device capable of running undertale, still up. i got good enough at it that under normal circumstances, i can usually do it first try. a bit of a banging my head against a brick wall thing, but damn did it eventually break. honestly i think doing that before ever actually playing undertale was a bit like goku training in 100x gravity, except instead of landing on namek to fight frieza he went and fought raditz again and just absolutely wrecked his shit. at least, until i got to undyne, still not great at her. god i love her. adhd, getting distracted, i had a goddamn point i was trying to make. so, notice that i said "under normal circumstances" as a caveat. what i would consider not normal circumstances would be, say, playing with fucked up arrow keys. such as, the ones that seem to be on every goddamn modern laptop where up and down are both collectively taking up the same amount of real estate as a single normal key, because apparently right shift needs that extra fucking space. like seriously who the fuck even uses right shift, top 10 useless keys right there, right next to caps lock and most of the function keys. guess i've just gotta suck it up until i can afford to get an actual gamer laptop and not a budget office clunker that i got for the admittedly nice CPU

honestly like, i think my ideal laptop would be halfway between the Ultra Gucci Gamer shit and what i have now. give me like, 16 gigs of RAM, a decent CPU for emulation, a low end but modern and power efficient discrete GPU, and a big fuckin SSD. no RGB shit, just a power waste, though i do like having backlit keys at times i think the more efficient way to go about it would just paint em with something glow in the dark. is glowstick fluid toxic to get your hands on? i remember hearing about a guy who died because he injected that shit at a rave, but i don't know how much of that is This Shit Is Poison vs Dont Put Things That Arent Blood In Your Blood Sacks You Moron, y'know. for some reason radium popped into my head, but after thinking about it for more than an instant i'm like 85% sure that shit's what done killed marie curie, and now i can't help but imagine that's something elon musk would tell his engineers to do. "yeah. just a, uh, gamer key-board. with, radium paint on the lettering. saves power, good for the planet." what was i saying

anyways yeah like. the only other specs i can think of would be just having as many ports as possible, 1080p screen @ 60hz, y'know the bare minimum in Current Year. i will say that my current laptop has given me problems with screens i've never had on a computer before, there have been times where i see something i know for a fact is a different, more saturated color on other screens and having it be barely different from the background. also? i want that motherfucker bulky god dammit, i'm tired of everything being thin and light and having absolute dogshit battery life. i miss when i could charge my gameboy once a week and have it entertain me the entire goddamn time, y'know. i'm lucky if i get half a day of consistent use out of a laptop or my switch without charging it, y'know. to be honest, you should be able to murder someone with your technology. i could kill a man with a gamecube or the PC my dad left me as a kid, if i tried to bash a man's skull open with my laptop the laptop would take more damage than the skull. like don't get me wrong, it'd fucking hurt, but i'm not sure there's any singular component in this thing less than 95% cheap polymer by volume. a goddamn disgrace, lemme tells ya. back in ancient rome we had the technology to build bridges strong enough to still be used today, there are guns from the world wars that you can shoot to this day, you're tellin me you can't make a laptop sturdier than a saltine cracker? well, i'm pretty sure they're mostly designed by crackers, so i guess i can't blame em too hard for their inadequacies. such is lief i suppose (sic)

#i feel like i get my most stream-of-consciousness-y when i'm some degree of sleep deprived #my sleep schedule is in a bit of what we in the biz like to call a transitory period. absolutely wretched livin like this lemme tell ya

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bnpd · 5 months ago

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Tenkyu sm for responding to my yippe yapperps asks so eargerly!

Although, i dont really know the reason on how my monitor broke. But uh, i remember turning it on—then suddenly it flickered, the monitor itself.

Then shocks! Everytime i try turning it on, it always ends up flickering.

I reallyyy think that its got something to do with all the gaming apps installed there...since some of my siblings use my computer (hehe its not like actuallly my computer but my brother—the one who's trying to fix my monitor actually the one who owns it but then gave it to me, i hope it makes sense lol).

On the gaming one! I dont really play that ever since vacation or technically the computer broke, but i do play a little bit of farlight, or uh roblox if i wanna feel cruel and bully kids haha, but i do remember playing my siblings' game—Valorant.

My first time on Valorant was engraved in my mind because of the humiliating act i did.

I was playing as sage, the agent thats kind of similar like elsa 😭 idk how to describe her—i apologise, but uh, i used this skill of hers where she can slow down people by using an orb. Then i kind of mistook the slow orb as a healing skill AND USED IT AGAINST MY TEAMMATE WHOS ASKING FOR A HEAL—I FELT SOO BAD BECAUSE WE FAILED THAT ROUND BECAUSE OF ME, AND THE FACT THAT THEY DIDN'T BLAME ME ADDS POINT TO MY GUILT SCORE HAHA

anyways, have u ever had an embarrassing moment like that while gaming? LOL

P.s, my brother didnt charge me yay

YYAAASSSS OFFCCC!! monitor flickering is actually a nightmare and then SHOCKS?!?!??!?!?! i doubt its the gaming apps installed i feel like that would be more related to your ssd card! also that makes sense so dont worry!!! thats so real of him to have given it to you fr

ive never played farlight! ill give that game a try, and we should totally play roblox sometime! i just started bloxburg because it became free

valorant is so scary to me i never want to play </3 ALSO LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the fact that you could actually harm your teammates would fuck me over because i shoot my friends on fortnite even when we do squads id be cooked

i have a lot of embarrassing gaming moments i fear, like yesterday, my friends and i were playing my friends reboot card got stuck in the storm so i went back to get it, and i like rush out of storm just to realize i didnt even pick it up and then as soon as i got back into the safe zone some guy one shotted me </3

aLSO TRUUEE so glad your brother didnt make you play

#bnpd tumblr #bnpd asks

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bi-buck-coded · 2 years ago

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WIP Wednesday

✨Thursday Edition✨

Important note/question at the end under the cut?? Please read it :( it's important to me. Here's potential scene one to NPC fic (it will most likely change if im being honest but I need feedback).

Tagged by: @honestlydarkprincess @buddiearemydads @ebdaydreamer @usercowboy

Sara speed-walks her way to the ping pong table, almost tripping, but catching herself before any of the others can see. “Guys- guys!” she says, “You will not believe what I just found!” Her voice comes out half whisper half yell. At the ping pong table Stan is writing a tally on his score-keeping note pad while Jess and Tom argue over the last play. When they hear Sara coming they turn their heads.

“This isn’t over, I swear we’ve never played with those rules,” Jess says to Tom as Sara reaches them.

“Well Stan’s already given the point out so I think I’ll let him decide-”

“The point went to Bradshaw.”

“-nothing. He will decide nothing because you can hit the ball before it bounces.” Tom crosses his arms and looks defiantly at the other two. Jess looks over to stan and rolls her eyes. “I saw that!”

“Guys! Can you listen to me?” Sara looks around before pulling out her phone. “I know I said I was taking a break from online dating after that catfish incident, but I went on this hookup app last night - for reasons - anyway and look what I found.” She turns her phone relieving a profile boasting the username firehose. A shirtless mirror selfie in black and white shows at the top of the profile. The flash and the phone block out the user’s face.

“Okay so you found some guy with the cheesiest username known to man why do we care?” Jess asks. Sara turns the phone back to herself, scrolls down a little, and then flips the phone back to her awaiting crowd. “Oh my god, why did he choose a blowjob angle?” She takes the phone into her own hands and stares open mouthed.

“I’m sorry, he chose the name firehose?” Tom scrunches his face in confusion. “I get the joke, big dick or whatever, but why would you ever swipe on a guy who chooses the name firehose?” Stan laughs and grabs the phone for himself to scroll through the phone. Picture after shirtless picture stare back at him. Jess smirks.

“Maybe it actually means he com-”

“I mean he looks good in these pictures, sure, but then his prompts are so bad! ‘I go crazy for…’ and then he just put ‘you’. ‘My biggest regret is…’ ‘the opportunities I didn’t take’.” Stan pauses to laugh at that. “What? That one doesn’t even sound right!” Tommy takes the phone next.

“Would it be bad to say I’d swipe right?” The group looks at Sara and she turns her head to look away. “As if you wouldn’t,” she mumbles.

The sound of an engine backing into the bay startles them out of their bubble. Sara takes her phone from Tommy and locks it before putting it in her pocket. They watch as Buck climbs out of the engine and jogs up the stairs. “Oh my god,” Sara mouths at the others who all have wide eyes. They stand there quietly for a second, too scared to breath. It feels as if someone could tell what they were just talking about from any sudden movement.

“They charge you extra for the full detail?” They hear Chimney say above them. Tom holds back a laugh while Sara clamps her hand over her mouth and stares wide eyed at Jess who’s biting back her own laugh.

“So the game was 3-0 Bradshaw-” the alarm blares, cutting Stan off, and they’re off getting into their gear and the engine. “Do you think it was on these seats or-”

So I dont really know how I feel about this, writing third person omniscient (or kind of really third-person objective because idk how to write omniscient well) was weird for me and idk if I can really make it better? I'm thinking about just switching to text threads only? Idk read this and if you want in the tags you can give feedback on what might make it better or if you like the idea of just texts, because in my head texts would just make more sense? / I could make it funnier? idk in my head I feel like it'd be funnier if it were texts. Please give thoughts im begging.

#I mean I think the back and forth of text could be quicker #making it more fun to read / funnier #but I wont be the one reading it so #I need opinions #does part of me also just want to code html again?#ya a little but if people hate reading texts then what would be the point?#wip wednesday #on a thursday #911 #911 fox #911 abc #911 on fox #911 on abc

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s0lar-ch3ri · 5 months ago

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hes "stupid" like a cat but as "loyal" as a dog

(spoilers below)

no cause hes the kind of "stupid" a cat is because he looks at the world around him with what we see as stupidity but its not being stupid is it. its trying to understand. its trying to get objects like phones or cups, or actions like when were laughing at some stupid joke we heard or were charging at our friends with a syringe in hand knowing we dont know what were doing. he knows hes not "stupid" but at this point why wouldnt he be? hes a cats kind of stupid because no matter how many times you tell to them they dont seem to get it, but they just need to be reminded. they just need to be properly taught it and not explained it once, then be looked at like a failure when they ask questions because They Didn't Understand A Part They Didn't Properly Learn. however, hed be super labeled as an idiot and doesnt even realize how horrid that feels, to be called an idiot over and over because you cant understand something everyone else can. its a cats kind of "stupidity".

he also has the "loyality" of a dog. its honestly like the loyalness of a stray one. itll stay with you if you feed it and care for it, and it will take time, but it can run yet again if shown a single sign of danger. whether or not it wants to it has grown to only trust in the idea that people are cold and cruel like the streets, like everything else is. and its painted as such, uncaring and mean when it does what other things do: play rough to survive. why is it the one painted as bad for doing the opposite of "what it should"? to fight and not run, then when it runs and doesnt fight it still is bad? its a loyalty to himself and what he knows. a loyalty that when given to others is paper thin even if he could trust them with his life. he does the things he does to survive, to live, not to care. sure, he cares for those who care for him, but unfortunately for himself, he cant find himself caring for another above himself. eventually, maybe it does care enough about someone to care about them more then himself, but in the end, put in a situation of danger by that someone, he cant help but worry for himself. its a dogs kind of "loyalty".

how confusing must it have been, to have been learning murder is not a suitable option, and violence should be avoided, yet he is a coward and wrong for running. to learn when he killed beano, he was wrong and should be ashamed, but when he didnt stand by wills side, it felt wrong, and probably someone would have told him that. to run being the move of a coward, to fight being the move of the wreckless. how do you do that. how do you be a hero then. you know heroes save people, and you have an idea on how people are saved, but no, thats the wrong way! you have to trust our way! dont fight them! oh, why arent you fighting them? and it makes it worse that this was a guy he trusted. he SHOULD have stayed by him. hes his friend, his teammate, and vyn was strong. he could have stopped will. he could have done some kind of outcome change, whether it be good or bad. but instead he ran. like a cowardous kid he ran. he ran to care about his own safety over the one who showed the stray dog kindness and understanding and patience. and he ran from it. because in that moment he was like everything else, cruel and cold. and he wasnt running from will, he was running from that cruel and coldness. he was loyal to will, just not the unjustness he didnt want to face again. he was not loyal to the system thatd yell when hed kill a dinosaur hybrid but be upset to "not" trust his teammate. im just. im mentally ill guys

i ahve more ill put in like another reblog later

did i ever say how i love vyncent sol. i love vyncent sol!!!!!

#jerwee supreme #vyncent sol #jrwi pd spoilers #pd spoilers #these were taken from discord thats why lmfao the other is a 7 or so minute recording

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hopeymchope · 2 years ago

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2022: The Rise of the Sneering, Manipulative Protagonist!

...and I mean that in the BEST possible way.

Based on my other writings on this Tumblr, you might read that headline and expect this to be a teardown of the characters I’m referring to. After all, you might think that a certain purple-haired lad with a checkerboard scarf could be described with the same words. But I say thee NAY! I come not to condemn the heroes of Tomadachi Game and Trapped in a Dating Sim, but instead to praise them!

So: Over the past couple of months, I’ve fallen in love with two boys who have truly embraced the notion of being the hero people need even if they’re not the one people want. Not only are they really compelling characters in their own right, it’s also interesting to see how their attempts to “playing the bad guy” contrast with somebody I’ve previously ragged on in this blog quite a bit.

But we’ll get there. First, let’s talk about these two guys with their somewhat-similar solutions to problems as well as their obviously-similar hairdos.

We begin with Yuuchi Katagari, the protagonist of Tomadachi Game. (Which should really have been translated as “Friendship Game” for English audiences, but I guess someone in localization did precisely 1/2 their job and then rolled over for a nap or something.) Tomadachi Game is about Yuuchi and his friends getting trapped in a series game “rounds” where huge amounts of money are on the line — and unfortunately, huge amounts of debt are given to them from the outset. The kind of amounts that could destroy them and their families. I’ve given a VERY spoiler-free shout-out to it before. (And dont worry. I’m not gonna spoil either of these anime/manga/light novels beyond their setup details.)

The rest of the jist is that it soon becomes clear that the game is rigged towards making them all lose, and Yuuchi? He’s not going to let his friends destroy their lives. But he’s not going to let whoever’s behind the scheme get away with it, either. He wants justice.

A face you can trust. Clearly.

So, although Yuuchi starts off seeming pretty wholesome, once the titular game gets underway and shit begins to get real, he is soon looking a lot more... unhinged. He starts using his intelligence to manipulate everybody around him in such a manner that will lead to exposing more and more information about the game and its mastermind. Yuuchi is willing to act like an absolute maniac if that’s what he thinks the people in charge will want and need to see. He’ll embrace the role of villain externally, but at the same time, he’s working to keep his friends from suffering for their involvement — that is, provided their involvement is innocent. In the course of his actions, he appears to be manipulating all of his friends at times. And sometimes, it’s true. But even that manipulative appearance might be a maneuver in itself in certain cases — cases where, in reality, he’s being totally being upfront and honest with some of them while fronting for other people’s sake.

It can sometimes be hard to figure out when he’s legitimately winning a game and when he’s legitimately losing one, because he just fronts so goddamn well. He’s easily one of the smartest characters I’ve seen in an anime — I’ve seen one YouTuber compare Yuuchi to the likes of Lelouch from Code Geass or Light from Death Note. And who doesn’t enjoy watching these sorts of master manipulators? .... Especially when they get to unload on people who’re much, much shittier. Having to act like a douchebag to other decent people? That may be necessary at times, but it kinda sucks. The complete jackasses though? Those are always the highlights.

Sure, he’s probably not gonna do it, but I mean... he’d be pretty justified if he did.

Even as things get tougher/darker for Yuuchi and he questions his own morality, starting to think that he really is a bad person at heart... the audience at home never has much reason to doubt his goodness. Even when he reveals some dark secret about his past, it inevitably seems to lead into a context that is actually NBD. And even when some of his friends seem to turn against him, he’s quick to forgive and bring them back under his protection — which they readily embrace. The result is surprisingly heartwarming.

Aw, see? He’s just an innocent lil’ fluffhead.

It just takes a little bit of honest communication to make his manipulative “villainy” into twisted teamwork. And sure, he stumbles a little bit — at one point he’s mean to one of his friends just because he wants to drive her away from him so she’ll be safe. But that same damn night, he rushes to be there for her and makes it all up to her. So even when he’s legit acting like an asshole, he can recover from those events pretty quick. Just because he’s playing 4D chess and acting like a psycho for external observers doesn’t mean he’s being a selfish dick about it for those who matter to him, and I love that.

I might love Leon Fou Bartfort even more, though — it’s hard for me to say. I just *might*.

Claims to hate “hot guys.” Is actually kinda hot though?

Leon’s the protagonist of Trapped in a Dating Sim: The World of Otome Games Is Tough for Mobs. YEAH, it’s one of those overlong titles that tells you “Oh, this is based on a series of light novels.” And it’s even a dreaded isekai story.

Historically, I don’t care for isekais much. Not only are they WAY overdone these days (and even when I write it in all caps and/or bold it, “WAY overdone” feels inadequate to explain just how fucking much isekai is out there currently), but I’ve found precious few of them do much with the conceit that feels unique. I do think Konosuba is pretty funny overall (though it has its obvious downfalls), and I adore the reverse-isekai The Devil is a Part-Timer! But in truth, I think I got more deeply invested in TiaDS than either one of those. This damn thing is something special.

The setup: Leon finds himself reborn in an otome game in which the matriarchical society allows noblewomen to attend an academy in their young adult years. Said academy is ostensibly about academics and etiquette, but it’s really about the men trying to impress the women that they’d make good husbands. Leon’s sister made him play this otome game to completion back in our world, and now, Leon hopes to use his knowledge of the game’s world and events to avoid any danger or drama. Initially, that seems like it’ll be easy because he’s just a background NPC of lower birth. But naturally, he soon finds that he’s going to face a horrible fate if he doesn’t achieve some level of nobility that will get him out of his predicament. And when he swiftly pulls THAT off, he’s forced to attend the same academy as all the game’s central characters. So once again, he tries to stay away from them and avoid their problems. And once again, he predictably cannot leave well enough alone. Both his moral code and his extreme irritation with the school’s highest nobility make him unable to stand aside and let things play out. That’s when he realizes that if he wants to both monitor what events are coming/what “route” the game is on AND also give some comeuppance to those who treat others as “lesser,” he needs to embrace acting like a douchebag. He must vilify himself to become the hero this world deserves.

“Do you ever wonder why there are so many treasure chests throughout these dungeons? Like: Who put them there, and why?” “Nope. Sure haven’t.”

Leon is nowhere near as smart as Yuuchi, though. Even as he attempts to manipulate events through his behavior, his plans seem to backfire almost as often as they succeed. Sometimes he self-sabotages by acting impulsively. Leon is also probably a worse person than Yuuchi because he lacks Yuuchi’s self-doubt and self-awareness. It’s not too surprising when Leon starts to genuinely enjoy his cruelty on occasion, turning him into something of a “toxic gamer” type who verbally abuses others as he takes them out. (Yes, this supposed otome game has combat in it. Combat with mechs, even. Go figure.) But honestly, if gloating over people he beats in combat is his biggest sin? I think we can handle that. .... Though it is pretty rude, tbh.

Even with that character flaw, however? Leon waffles on his ability to fully play the villain role he’s assigned himself. Yuuchi is much more dedicated; Leon can’t help but make moves behind the scenes to help his enemies out so they don’t suffer overmuch for his actions. Even when he’s in the midst of a fight for his life, he refuses to kill anybody — something which his A.I. companion notes could definitely come back to bite him in the future.

That’s right, Leon has an A.I. companion: Luxion! Luxion was once housed within a robot that attempted to kill Leon. After a simple bit of reprogramming and a transition to a far less intimidating body, he now serves Leon with politeness that only barely masks his grumpiness and loathing. Their back-and-forth is really funny, and it’s cool to see how they gradually come to like each other at least a little more with time.

Leon gives Luxion the privilege of naming his mech suit.

Even better, though, is Leon’s personal growth as he learns things about himself and how to treat others by comparing his behavior to that of the people around him. You see other characters in this world who first appear one-note come to show FAR more nuance, too.

Plus, as I’ve said before, the English dub for this show is just insanely fucking good. Top-tier.

As much as I think Leon is great? I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how cool Angelica is, too. By the end of the season, she was my second-favorite character. Angelica is the otome game’s ostensible villain — the girl who has it out for the protagonist and tries to prevent her from getting with any of the various pretty-boy nobles. She is also, like many of the characters in this show, deeper than she appears on the surface. Viewing the scenario from a different angle gives Leon a new perspective on her whole deal. The same goes for us viewers, presumably.

“Evil” is in the eye of the beholder, my guy.

But let’s get down to business (to defeat the huns): You might be inclined to wonder why I love these guys but despise Kokichi Ouma. After all, isn’t Kokichi ALSO publicly playing the part of the villain in order to draw out a mastermind and end a game — which sounds just like Yuuchi, who I claim to love?

To some of you, I bet the difference is already obvious.

Yuuchi and Leon are both keeping people in the loop on what they’re doing, and they avoid unnecessary cruelty (plus they try to make up for it with quieter acts of kindness). Yuuchi does try to do the “convince his friends that he’s evil” thing a couple of times, but he swiftly backs down on it in less than 24 hours. Because as soon as they need someone, he can’t help but be there to stand up for them. And Leon? Leon never tries to push his friends away. His initial pals at the academy, Dan and Raymond? They are ALWAYS in the loop on his plans. HIs newest friends, Olivia and Angelica? Even though he just met them, he’s still constantly open with them about what’s going on and why he’s doing it. His performance is only for the people he doesn’t know at all or just doesn’t like.

Part of the fun is in watching them maneuver other people by pretending to be evil and/or psychotic while simultaneously being good-hearted people who show obvious care for others. Yuuchi and Leon are never going to be relentlessly cruel to the people around them without swiftly making up for it, and they’re never going to withhold information that could save lives for personal amusement. That’s only Kokichi’s jam, see?

Be Warned, Though: Neither “Tomadachi Game” or “Trapped in a Dating Sim” are currently a complete story as an anime. Both animes end with the door wide open for future seasons. But if you wish to keep going, the option to explore the source material IS there. Tomadachi Game’s manga is widely available in English online, and the series of Trapped in a Dating Sim light novels even has an official English publication that will take you far beyond the limits of the show. I don’t believe either of those source materials has wrapped up, however. So at some point, you’ll have to hit that wall.

Personally, I’m going to start digging into those light novels first.

#tomadachi game #anti-kokichi ouma #anti-kokichi oma #yuuchi katagiri #leon fou bartfort #trapped in a dating sim #trapped in a dating sim: the world of otome games is tough for mobs #anime #anime reviews #anime gifs #personal essays #essays #danganronpa

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illfoandillfie · 3 years ago

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How about “Actually I just miss you” (from the 5 word prompts) with pedro?

oooo cute okay! kinda did something i dont normally do with this one and flipped back and forth between reader and pedro so hopefully it works skfjksjfksdjs also she a fluffy one

Pedro’s eyes were tired and he had to squint at his too bright screen as he typed, the fluffy comfort of his hotel suite bed beckoned to him. But he couldn’t sleep until he was sure you knew he was safely back on the ground. Of course you’d be asleep now anyway and wouldn’t see his messages until the morning but now that he’d had the idea to message you he couldn’t let it go. If he’d had his way he would have made a stop back home for a night or two just to see you. He’d tried to fit it into the itinerary but between two different production studios requiring his presence, the timing hadn’t worked it. It never did. **

You had to rub your eyes a few times before you could properly read the messages displayed on your phone. They’d come in while you were asleep and you were not yet ready to get out of the comfort of you bed so lay there, body twisted awkwardly, groggily attempting to read them while the phone remained plugged into the charger. As your brain slowly woke up you realised they were from Pedro (and that your phone was completely charged and could be unplugged.) The first had come in around one in the morning.

Pedro: Heading to the airport. SXSW was incredible, wish I was heading to you but still needed in Canada. Talk soon! 🛫

The second had been sent a few hours later

Pedro: So tired 😴 Flight landed fine, on my way to hotel. I know you’re alseep right now (like I want to be 😆) but I hope tomorrow’s a good one for you. ✌

You chuckled as you read them and sent off a quick reply telling him to sleep in or at least drink an extra coffee, and wishing him luck with the filming. It was sweet that he’d thought to tell you he arrived safely but you’d long given up hope that his considerate actions were a symbol of affection deeper than friendship. He was a considerate and sweet guy. So you pushed the disappointment about not seeing him aside and set about your day.

The next day, sometime around mid-morning, you heard your phone ringing and dug it out from under the work that had piled up on your desk. Your employer had decided to keep everyone working from home which was nice, though without Pedro around you were fast losing touch with the outside world. He’d always known when you needed to escape the confines of your place for even just a fifteen minute walk. So when you looked at the number flashing on your screen you thought maybe he’d sensed your growing frustration. “Hi Y/N,” he said as you answered, a smile clear in his voice, “Have I caught you at a bad time?” “Nope. Perfect timing. I was about to make a fresh coffee. I cannot look at my computer for another minute.” His chuckle crackled down the line as he pictured you leaning against your kitchen bench to talk as the coffee machine spluttered away. “How’s filming?” “Uh yeah, fine.” he said, pulled from his reverie, “They’re setting up the next scene now. I just wanted to ask you something quickly.” “Oh, yeah, what is it?” “Umm, well, d-, I was wondering if yo-” he paused for a second and then said all in a rush, “I think I left my headphones at your place, I just wondered if you’d seen them.” “Oh. That’s what you called me to ask? Pedro, you haven’t been here in like a month.” “I know, I meant to ask earlier but um...” he tapped his phone against his forehead, annoyed at himself, and let out a sigh before continuing, “Y’know, don’t worry about it. They were just my backup set, I can buy new ones. Anyway, they’re calling me I’ve got to go, bye!” You barely got your farewell said before Pedro hung up in your ear, leaving you more than a little bewildered.

The next day brought an equally baffling call from Pedro. You were on your lunch break when the phone rang and you barely looked up from your book to answer it, surprised when you once more heard his unmistakable voice. “Pedro?” “Yeah, hi,” “Long time no...chat.” You cringed at how awkward you sounded. “I know,” Pedro said with a airy laugh, “Quick question.” “I haven’t seen your headphones, if that’s what you were wondering.” “No, no, I wanted to ask...what was the name of that show you recommended?” the phone dug uncomfortably into the space between his thumb and forefinger as his grip tightened and he fought the urge to throw it across the room, “I’ve got some downtime and needed something new to watch.” You had to think for a minute, completely thrown by the question, before you could remember what you’d recommended to him before. “You know, you could have just texted me that.” “Yeah, I probably should have. Sorry for interrupting.” “No, it’s fine. Just a bit weird.” “Mmm, well, I should let you get back to work. Have a good day.” Once more Pedro seemed in a rush to hang up on you and you felt more confused than ever.

Three days in a row you received an unexpected call from Pedro and by the third you were a little annoyed. The man seemed so eager to stop talking you wondered why he’d bothered to call in the first place. And each time you picked up he asked you an inane question of absolutely no importance as if he were trying to waste your time or get your hopes up. So, when you got that third call you were already halfway to being pissed off as you picked up. “Pedro, really? What is it this time? Did you leave some useless object at my place? A travel mug maybe? Or is it that you need another tv show to watch and forgot how to text?” Pedro swallowed thickly as you ranted and blurted out the first excuse that came to mind, “I have a package being delivered and I forgot to reroute it so I was hoping you could pick it up for me.” “Oh.” You felt suddenly embarrassed about everything you’d said, “Yeah of course I can do that.” Pedro kicked himself for yet another terrible lie, he was getting no better at it despite how frequently he was doing it. Of course this was the worst one yet since there was no package en route. He held his breath for a count of three and slowly released it. “Actually...” The pause seemed to last much longer than it should and, already feeling guilty for getting snappy, you worried that Pedro was about to decide he hated it. “Actually, truth is there’s no parcel. I just miss you.” “Y-you miss me?” You were more confused than ever. “Yeah. A lot. I was going to ask you out when I got back home. On a date.” You felt your cheeks heat up and your heart began to pound at double speed, “I’d like that. I’ve missed you too.” For a moment Pedro couldn’t speak, his smile taking up too many muscles, “Okay then. That, uhh, that’s good. So when I get back.” “Maybe I could fly up to you one weekend instead.” “You could do that?” “As long as you promise to stop hanging up one me so fast.” Pedro laughed, he deserved your teasing, “Deal.”

#bday blurbs #my writing #my blurbs #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagine

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boydykedoctor · 3 years ago

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What do you think Eddie and Argyle are like personality wise? I think Argyle is the chill laid back stoner type but we dont know anything about Eddie...

yeah exactly i think argyle is a "just happy to be here" kind of guy who saw the most stressed out teenager in the world (jonathan) and was like "i can fix him." and it seems like argyle's pretty nice to will and el <3

i'd be interested in whether we'll learn anything about his family or if they'll pull another robin where they leave us to speculate about all that (aside from Rebel Robin). i have a hard time putting together anything further than that bc we never had audition tapes for him.

eddie is like fully going down in the jonathan byers jughead pretentious cinematic universe but at least this time he's a geek metalhead instead of an artsy softboy. in that same intro post where they talked about argyle, eddie was introduced as "audacious," and "hated by those who don’t understand him — and beloved by those who do." so he has a more polarizing personality than argyle does. i think he's someone who took the "i'm already an outcast so i'm just gonna do whatever i want and fuck what other people think" route, so i expect when all the satanic panic stuff is going down, he'll be irreverent and dismissive about it, which is going to piss off everyone leading the charge against him even more.

as for what i want from him that i don't have proof of, i would love him to serve as a kind of morally chaotic neutral character. we know he deals and he can be a little mean, but he's not abusive, a bully, or a bigot. i would also love if they could really go in for that 80s metal flamboyance/theatricality; he's sitting on a throne with lit candles all around him in the trailer, so i think that's a given. i think it would be cool if, at the beginning, he doesn't take anything seriously as a kind of defensive mask, but then that's forcibly taken down as the horrors of the season unfold.

#ask #literally every new teen duo this year is made up of foils its SO good #st4 spoilers #st4 #st4 speculation #argyle #eddie munson #anonymous

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jenrecs · 2 years ago

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yo !!!!!!!

This makes you smile. You’d been to that dorm once or twice, but you’d refused to hang out with Taehyung there because… well, dudes are stinky. And you’re not a clean freak by any means, but it was a little gross over there.

you're right miss girl. a house with 7 boys is BOUND to get disgusting 😷 i love little details like this lol

[4:56 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: sorry [4:56 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: can’t tonight

god. GOD. it's fine. i'm fine. this is because of the whole "i can live without her" thing isn't it MY GUY 😔

“You aren’t in charge of me!” you yell, and head for the bar at a clip, ankles crying for mercy in your heels. You grasp the bar in both hands when you get there, steady yourself, and then reach up to fix your horn headband, which had been starting to slide. You thought Taehyung was right behind you, but when you turn to look, he’s talking to a girl in a mermaid costume.

again, I'M FINE. I'M TOTALLY CHILL. *through tears* GO BONE THE MERMAID BEAR. LOVE U </3 jo why must you make me cry about this every single chapter

“Consequences like Taehyung would see?” he presses. His voice has gone hard. He’s tiptoed around this issue before, but it’s the first time either of you have ever really given it life.

oh my lord we're finally at this part omg i've been waiting for this since the snippet months ago omg omg omg og omg

You smile at him, relief giving you more of a high than anything else could right now. “No,” you say, and touch his chest lightly, just over his beating heart. You brush your hand down his chest, drop it to your side, and turn to stare out at the crowd. “No,” you say again, finishing the thought. “You aren’t delicate at all. You’re steady. That’s something I really like about you.”

i know they're having a semi serious conversation right now but all i could think was SHE TOUCHED THE TIDDIES 😭

“We have to go,” he pants. “Literally right now. Jungkook hit on some huge guy’s girlfriend, it’s about to be a thing. Help me find everybody?”

oh my gah jungo why r u cheating on me 😟 jungoo this isn't okay

It seems like Namjoon knows, and forgives you. He silently holds out a hand, waiting. You take it, keeping it tight in yours, not letting go even as you slide into the backseat of the Uber, as it weaves through the neighborhoods until it stops in front of your building, as it drives away, leaving you lit in red taillights before vanishing around the corner.

"namjoon knows, and forgives you." see i am living for this contrast between joon and tae. joon is undeniably more mature than tae and even tho he has feelings for her and wants her to choose him, he doesn't know everything about her relationship w/ tae and he understands that a lifelong friendship isn't smth that can and should be unravelled within a single day. when tae finds out about her and joon, i just can't imagine him taking it well at all even tho i know he doesn't have malicious intent. oh my god is taehyung the elyse of this relationship 😟

He tugs you towards the stairs, and you think he’s going to lead you inside. Instead he spins you and presses you back against the stone balustrade, one hand splayed across the middle of your spine, the other cupping your jaw as he kisses you insistently.

OH OKAY KISSING AGAIN MHMM OKAY. OKAY . HES FULL OF SURPRISES ISN'T HE okay dimples way to go

He looks at you for a long minute, expression unreadable. Finally, he says, “Goodnight,” and steps back out into the darkness of the living room. When he gets to his room this time, he closes the door behind him with a soft click. You stare at the inch of light that comes from under his door for a minute before hurrying to close your own door against the dark.

NO WHY DID HE CLOSE THE DOOR NOOOO JOON N HIS TIDDIES DONT SHUT US OUT

He gives a quick, self-deprecating laugh. “I wouldn’t get anything done. I’d just talk to you.”

His smile grows. “Wouldn’t help. I’d still be able to look at you.”

His grin turns wolfish. “I assure you, that will not solve the problem.”

again, u're full of surprises aren't u dimples! why am i surprised that he's openly flirting with her even after their 2 make out sessions

You’re curious if Taehyung would have still asked you to join him tonight if Jimin hadn’t turned him down first.

You smile up at him, happy to have someone to talk to about this. Kris would listen, you’re sure, because Kris is a good human, but they would much rather talk about romance. And Taehyung… it’s November, and Taehyung has asked you about your classes or your thesis exactly zero times.

okay jo, RUDE. this is hurting me! but i feel like it's necessary so i'll allow it 😔 it's clear from the start that she isn't as big of a priority to tae as he is to her, but especially since the last chapter i feel like he's somewhat actively trying to pull away from her to prove that he doesn't need her, that he'll be fine without her (the same obviously cannot be said for her) which objectively speaking, is a bit of a childish approach bc she's his best friend 😭 it feels like he's pulling away but still expecting her to stay the same but i guess it's fine since my guy's just a lil dumb 😭

ANYWAY joon and his door thing. i might be reading into it a lil too much BUT it feels like as much as he wants to wait for her and wants her to choose him in the end and all that, he's starting to set some boundaries and trying not to put his all into this bc it might not even lead anywhere and he doesn't wanna get burnt again he doesn't wanna love someone more than they like him again ok bye !

VI. Don't Think About Him || KNJ

(banner by @/itaeewon)

Title: My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold (Masterpost)

Rating: NSFW - minors dni

Genre: college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, the absolute slowest of burns

Pairing: Namjoon x female reader, unrequited Taehyung x reader

Beta'd by @/kookstempo, @/casuallyimagining, and @/toikiii - thank you endlessly!

Summary: You know a lot about the many types of love thanks to Kim Taehyung. You love him as the only person you see as “family”, you love him as your very best friend, and you love him as the beautiful, funny man he’s become. But when a twist of fate during your senior year has you rooming with his good friend Kim Namjoon, you just might find that you have plenty left to learn about love.

Lesson One: there are such things as a right way and a wrong way to love and to be loved.

You try - and fail - to figure out who and what you want.

Section Warnings: excessive drinking, bar scenes, language, kissing, groping, maybe grinding idk

WC: 6k

The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold. - Journey | Edna St. Vincent Millay

Sunday October 28th

Fire burns low in the hearth, but my feet itch and beg to go, into the night where the wolfpack hunts, into the storm of wind and snow.

I can hear only their hunting song. The blizzard steals from me my sight. I have no map to traverse this land, But I peer wistfully into the night.

The wolves, the storm, the wild land, Even still I must decide. I know despite the dangers, I can’t afford to stay inside.

“That’s fucking terrible,” you mutter, closing your book and scooting it away from you in disgust. “Wolves? Am I fourteen? For fuck’s sake.”

Still, it does touch on how you feel: like proceeding forward will result in you getting ripped to metaphorical shreds - but staying here, stuck in the familiar just because you’ve deemed it safe, would somehow be worse.

“Talking to yourself?” someone asks, and you jump with a shriek.

“Namjoon!” you scold, as you register that it’s him in the doorway. “I thought you weren’t home for a few more hours!”

He crosses the room and tosses his bag onto his bed. “Yoongi has a lead foot.”

“How was it?” you ask mildly.

Namjoon wiggles his head, indicating both good and bad. “The brewery was really fun,” he says. “And it was nice for us all to hang out and talk at the house. We all used to dorm together… it’s been weird not living in the same place as them. I didn’t realize how much I missed it.”

“Well it was lonely and boring here,” you report. “I’m glad you’re back.”

You’re instantly unsure if that was too forward, too much. Namjoon going away the literal day after you’d kissed him had given you plenty of time to think in private, but it had also given you room to sow doubts in your own mind. But Namjoon smiles shyly, pleased, so cute it makes your toes wiggle.

“I’m glad to be back too,” he says. “I’m gonna go shower and unpack. Have you made plans for dinner yet? We could order later?”

You hadn’t, but you have a feeling Taehyung will want to hang out after two days away. “I have plans,” you lie, figuring it will end up being true.

“Ah, no problem then,” Namjoon says easily, and heads into his room, closing the door behind him with a little wave.

You text Taehyung - “welcome home!! dinner later?” - and get up to start some laundry. By the time it’s done washing, and drying, and you’ve folded it, he still hasn’t answered.

You try again - “hello??? this is y/n, looking for signs of life???”

This time, the response is almost immediate.

[4:56 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: sorry [4:56 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: can’t tonight

In the end, you walk to campus alone, eating by yourself in the far corner of the cafeteria. You’ve splurged on ordering too much lately when these meals are built into your tuition. Besides, you don’t want Namjoon to know that your “plans” fell through.

Friday November 2nd

Angel on the right… Devil on the left…

You look side to side, conflicted. Such a strong case for each.

“Are those for tonight?”

You jump, spinning away from the two Halloween costumes you’ve laid out on your bed. It’s not like Namjoon to come over to your side of the apartment; in fact, you’re not sure he’s ever talked to you while you’re in your own room. It’s usually you going over to his door to bother him, if you aren't both in the living room or kitchen.

“Yeah,” you say. “I can’t decide. You’re coming?”

“I think we all are, except Yoongi,” Namjoon tells you. “I’m going as a detective. I have a magnifying glass and everything.”

You laugh. “I can’t wait to see that. Any thoughts on which way I should go tonight?” You mean the costumes. You’d texted Taehyung for his opinion and he’d returned with, “flip a coin”. You’re not sure why you expected anything else from him.

“I think that’s going to depend on your mood,” Namjoon teases. “How are we feeling today? Naughty or nice?”

You raise your eyebrows. Was that… outright flirtation? “What if I’m feeling both?” you ask.

He laughs. “You need one of those half-and-half costumes. I’ve seen them in the stores.”

You have too, but you think they’re cheesy. “I think I’ll go devil,” you muse, a finger on your lips as you consider. “The angel wings are pretty cumbersome. And the bars are going to be slammed.”

“Naughty it is.” Namjoon flashes you a grin and disappears from your doorway, throwing over his shoulder, “No complaints from me!”

You slap a hand over your mouth to muffle the giggle. Well this is new, and damn, you want to keep playing.

You Uber together to the first bar of the town’s Halloween pub crawl, the guys waiting for you outside. Taehyung howls in laughter at Namjoon’s long coat, fedora, and magnifying glass.

“I see the devil won the coin toss,” he says to you, grinning.

You roll your eyes, still a little peeved that he couldn’t take anything seriously, even when you needed him to. This was a trivial thing, but still. It wasn’t a lot to ask.

Jungkook hands you and Namjoon a flyer with a QR code - it listed the locations of each bar and what time the group would move, in case you got lost or missed the exodus. Inside, you have to pay to get wristbanded, but the wristband earns you special prices at each of the stops.

“This does not go with my costume,” you pretend to pout, the bright yellow wristband glaring against your short, red dress.

“I think everyone will understand,” Namjoon teases. Taehyung appears on your other side, pointing out the little laminated sign that advertises this bar’s drink specials.

“You two need to catch up,” he insists.

Three hours and two bars later, you think you’ve achieved this. You and Taehyung cling to each other’s arms, holding each other up, somehow taking turns being the one who needs help staying upright. The first two bars had offered specials on shots, but this one only has special offers for mixed drinks and beer.

“Do we pay full price for shots, or do we let The Man tell us it’s time to settle down?” you muse loudly into Taehyung’s ear.

“Don’t start with that shit,” he tells you. “This is Halloween, not a hippie convention.”

“I see at least four hippies,” you sniff indignantly.

“I think you’re seeing double,” he counters. “No more shots for you.”

Of course.

It’s fine.

The bartender finally catches your eye and you flash your wristband, indicating you’ll take the special. He nods, turns and picks up a bottle. A body settles beside you; you turn, expecting that Taehyung caught up, or maybe Jungkook stopped by for a beer. Instead, a guy you’ve never seen before smiles at you.

He’s in scrubs, complete with a fake stethoscope (you think it’s fake, anyway) slung around his neck. His nametag reads Dr. Love. You laugh out loud. “That’s so corny,” you say, your filter well and gone for the night.

Luckily, he laughs too. “It’s sewed on!” he protests. “I honestly almost Sharpied it out, but I thought that would look even stupider.”

He’s really cute, you notice. He looks… clean. Older.

“You look…” he trails off, letting his eyes roam to your feet and back appreciatively, “phenomenal. Is there an angel wandering around here looking for you?”

You grin. “Just me.”

If Kim Taehyung can find a hookup everywhere he goes, why can’t you?

But as you lean against the bar and take a sip of your drink, your eyes scan the bar before you. In the mirrored wall behind the team of bartenders, you can see a slightly distorted view of the patrons and all of their costumes.

Your eye catches on a detective.

Namjoon’s eyes hold yours through the mirror, though he’s about six seats down from you. There’s a tiny smile on his lips as he sips at what looks like a beer. A smile that says maybe he should have expected this. It’s the same face he’s seen on you when Taehyung does exactly what he did tonight.

Beside you, Dr. Love is asking you something, but you don’t hear him at all. You don’t want to be here, in this spot, anymore. You want to be six seats over.

“I’m sorry,” you say, interrupting him, plastering a sickly-sweet smile on your face. “I just found one of my friends, and I’d lost them. Enjoy your night, though!”

You slip away before he can protest more than a syllable, before you can really register the disappointment on his face and feel guilty about it. Better luck next time, Doctor, you think, as you make your way to Namjoon.

As soon as you’re close enough he extends an arm, making a space for you right next to him. His arm tucks you closer, protective. He walks with you towards the far end of the bar, where it’s marginally less crowded. Once you settle into a spot there, he doesn’t remove his arm. His fingers rest on your bare, body-glittered shoulder, moving imperceptibly now and then, as if they have their own agenda.

“Are you having fun?” you ask him.

“Loud bars aren’t usually my thing,” he answers. “But the costumes are great.”

There’s a lot of alcohol in your system; your filter’s taken a hit. “I like this,” you sigh happily, closing your eyes for a second. You think you sway on your feet a little. The arm around your shoulders tightens.

“Like what?” His voice has gone deep, and you shiver a little. You want to kiss him again; you’d blame the shots but you’ve been thinking about it since it happened. The drinks just make it louder.

“Your arm around me,” you tell him honestly, and he ducks his head, dimples appearing along with a blush.

He shakes his head, still smiling. “You’re drunk,” he accuses playfully.

“It’s a Halloween pub crawl,” you point out flatly. “I’m supposed to be drunk.”

“That’s a fair point,” he allows. Then, he peers at you through squinted eyes. “Are you okay, though? How drunk are you?”

You consider this. “Drunk enough that I want to kiss you again, to hell with the consequences. Not too drunk to remember that there would be consequences.”

The playfulness leaves his face; it’s too obvious not to notice. “Consequences like what?”

It’s a challenge. He knows you know it.

“Namjoon,” you say, a little pleading. Don’t.

“Consequences like Taehyung would see?” he presses. His voice has gone hard. He’s tiptoed around this issue before, but it’s the first time either of you have ever really given it life.

You feel like you want to cry. “Are you mad? About Taehyung?”

He softens. His fingers brush your shoulder again, absently. “No,” he admits, deflated. “No, I guess I’m not. But we both know that’s what you meant.” He removes his arm from your shoulders. It hangs listlessly at his side. You feel its absence painfully, like it had kept you tethered and now you might float away.

“Hey,” you say sharply, and reach for his hand. You miss and get his wrist, but you hold it like your life depends on it. He looks at you curiously. “I like you,” you tell him firmly. “A lot. I’m trying not to mess everything up - with anyone. But he’s my family, and if I lose him…” You take a deep gulp of air, trying to will your pulse to calm, your stomach to settle, your eyes to clear of stupid tears. “I have no one left. It feels… delicate,” you finish finally. You need him to understand. You wish you were better at explaining.

Namjoon twists his wrist from your grasp gently, but takes your fingers in his. “What about me?” he asks, voice a little pouty. “We aren’t delicate?”

There’s a moment of silence that stretches between you, tension building like a bassline, and then he gives a tug to the hand he’s holding. You turn back to look at him.

“What do you want, Y/N?” he asks plaintively.

You open your mouth immediately to answer, but he cuts you off.

“Don’t think about him when you answer that,” he commands seriously, fingers clutching yours so tightly it almost hurts. “Don’t think about anything else but you and me. What do you want?”

What do you want?

“I…” you start feebly, unsure how you’ll even finish the sentence. “I want…”

Jimin rushes up to you, breathless, grabbing both of your arms. Namjoon drops your hand like it’s burned him. If Jimin notices, he doesn’t let on.

“We have to go,” he pants. “Literally right now. Jungkook hit on some huge guy’s girlfriend, it’s about to be a thing. Help me find everybody?”

“Where are they?” Namjoon asks, quickly setting his beer glass on the bar and reaching for your drink too. You let him take it, eyes wide.

“Taehyung grabbed Jungkook and ran - I think they’re outside. Have you seen Hobi? Or Jin?”

“Jin left with a girl two bars ago,” you supply, glad to be able to help.

“I see Hobi,” Namjoon says, craning his neck to scan the crowd. “I’ll go get him. Y/N, go with Jimin, we’ll meet up outside.”

He moves without waiting for an answer, wading through the crowd in what must be Hobi’s direction. Jimin takes you by the hand - it feels much different than it had felt a minute ago with Namjoon - and leads you through the crowd hurriedly, dodging people left and right. You look over your shoulder as he pulls you, trying to find Namjoon in the sea of people, but you can’t.

Outside, Jungkook seems to be arguing heatedly with the bouncer.

“Come on,” Taehyung is telling him, looking honestly pissed. “Let’s just go. The night’s already ruined, let’s just leave.”

You pull away from Jimin and head for Taehyung.

“Hey,” you say softly, resting a hand on his arm. He turns on you, still furious, but you don’t waver. “Take a breath,” you tell him softly.

His temper gets the best of him sometimes.

He shakes his head, angry, but you see his chest move as he obeys anyway. A second later he says, more calmly, “Come on, Jungkook, we can even go somewhere else if you want. We won’t have fun here, that guy’s friends are all worked up in there.”

Jungkook relents as Hobi and Namjoon join you on the sidewalk. You slide your hand off of Taehyung’s arm, feeling weirdly guilty.

“We rallying?” Hobi asks hopefully. “Or did we kill the buzz?”

“Rally!” Jimin cheers, going over and shaking a sullen Jungkook’s shoulder. “Come on! The night prevails!”

“I’ll go somewhere else,” Taehyung says.

“I think I’m done,” Namjoon says, glancing at his phone for the time. “I’ll Uber from here.”

“Y/N?” Taehyung asks, looking to you. For a second, you’re not sure why. Then you realize - you either have to Uber home with Namjoon, or opt to continue on with the rest of the guys.

The angel whispers that you haven’t hung out with Taehyung as much lately.

The devil whispers that you and Namjoon could be all alone.

0-2 for the angels tonight.

“I’m tired,” you say. “I’ll Uber with Namjoon. You guys have fun though. JK, try to keep it in your pants.”

He flips you off wordlessly, still sulking.

They all tell you goodbye, Taehyung giving you an extra-tight squeeze with his hug, and they walk down the block to find another bar. You turn to Namjoon, who’s tapping at his phone to order a ride.

What do you want? His question floats in your head.

You don’t know. You want too much, too many things, too many contradictions.

You’re standing on the sidewalk in front of your building’s front door, Namjoon’s hand in yours, your eyes sleepy but your pulse racing.

You open immediately for him, giving a happy noise low in your throat. His spare hand, the one not holding you up off the rough stone below, grips the back of your neck for the barest of seconds before continuing down - rubbing patterns past your shoulder blade, the middle of your back, down to the dip of your waist, the swell of your hip, the meat of your ass. He’d better appreciate every curve, you squeezed into spanx for this dress.

You grip at the lapels of his ridiculous detective coat, the earth spinning in circles around you in a blur. You’re aware of only where your hands bunch the fabric, of only where his teeth and lips and tongue clash with yours, of only the fiery path his hand traces up and down your body. You melt into his touch, wanting more, trying to pull him closer, trying to get lost in each sensation.

He breaks the kiss to nip a line of sharp nibbles down your neck. You whine, trying to give him more room. His hands come to rest on your ribcage, thumbs not quite reaching your chest, which has to be a conscious decision on his part. You can feel the cold night air on your thighs; your dress has ridden up. This snaps you out of the moment a little.

“Namjoon,” you murmur, but it comes out a little whiny as he continues to nibble down near the juncture of your neck and shoulder. “We should go inside.”

He stills, then pulls away, eyes seeking yours for any signs of discontent. “Yeah,” he says finally, one syllable all he can handle. “Come on.”

He releases your body gently, letting you find your balance on the pavement. Then, he leads you up the stairs and inside. In the threshold of the apartment, you look at him, a question on your face.

“We’re both really drunk,” he says apologetically, reaching out to brush some stray hairs away from your face. “We should probably cool down a little.”

He’s right - you know he’s right.

“Yeah,” you say, letting the front door close behind you. “Okay.”

You press one palm against the wall for balance as you fight with your shoes, sliding them off one at a time.

Namjoon’s in his room, but the door hangs open. You pause in the doorway of your bedroom, realizing you have a problem.

“Um, hey,” you call across the living room, and he takes a few steps to come look at you. He’s lost the hat and the long coat, and his button-down is undone, revealing a tight, white undershirt beneath. “I promise this isn’t a come-on,” you say, biting back a smile. “But I legitimately can’t reach the zipper on this. Can you-?”

“Of course,” he says, crossing the living room. You turn your back to him, presenting the zipper. He gently sweeps your hair off of your nape and places it over your shoulder. You shiver, goosebumps rising along your arms, and you hear him hum a pleased noise at your reaction. You feel him fumble with the hook-and-eye at the top, and then the zipper sounds. He pauses halfway down your back.

“That good?” he checks. “You can reach that?”

“Yes,” you say, turning back to face him. He’s still got a bit of your lipstick on his mouth, and it makes you have to fight off a smirk. Down, girl. “Goodnight, Namjoon.”

Sunday November 4th

You spend most of Saturday in bed, heart and head both pounding, which means you have a lot of homework to cram in on Sunday.

After you shower and eat, you set up in the living room to get some work done. Namjoon’s door is halfway open, and you can hear the clacking and bass thumps that mean he’s writing in there.

Midafternoon, he appears in his doorway, stretching widely. Your eyes skim the inch of stomach exposed with the stretch and then flick back to your page before he can catch you.

“How’s it going?” he asks, heading into the kitchen.

You twist your mouth, eyeing your laptop and the text spread open on your lap. “I guess it’s going. Sort of.”

“What are you working on?” he asks.

“A paper for one of the bullshit general classes,” you tell him. “Which makes it more challenging, because I deeply do not care.”

He laughs at this, then plops onto the couch a few feet away from you, a water bottle in his hands.

“How about you?” you ask. “It sounded like it was going well.”

“It was going okay,” he agrees. “I reached the end of a scene, so now I need to like… process, look at what’s coming next. I might take a short walk and let it marinate in my brain a little.”

You smile. “How come you never work out here?” you ask him, just curious.

He gives a quick, self-deprecating laugh. “I wouldn’t get anything done. I’d just talk to you.”

You flush, feeling your face heat up, and bite back a smile. “What if I refused to answer?” you offer. “I could just sit here like -.” You mime zipping your lips, still fighting a smile. For good measure, you lock it up and throw the key over your shoulder.

His smile grows. “Wouldn’t help. I’d still be able to look at you.”

Your blush intensifies; you’re tempted to go stick your head in the freezer to cool your cheeks down. “I’ll turn around, then,” you tell him.

His grin turns wolfish. “I assure you, that will not solve the problem.”

Your jaw drops. “Kim Namjoon!” you scold, but you’re giggling.

“I’m just being honest!” he defends, laughing deeply, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Anyway, why? Does it bother you that I stay in there?”

“No,” you say immediately. “You can do what you want.”

He gives you a knowing look, like he’s used to your bullshit and isn’t falling for it. When did that happen? “Don’t get prickly,” he warns.

“Don’t compare me to plants,” you grumble.

“Do you want me to work out here instead?” he asks gently, smiling at you like you’re adorable, which just sets your prickliness off even more.

“I don’t know what I want,” you retort.

There’s a long, stretchy silence as you both consider just how true those words are, on several different levels.

Finally, Namjoon gives you a nod in goodbye and heads back to his room.

This time, he closes the door gently behind him.

–

Taehyung invites you out that night, to see a movie you’d been talking about. You tell him yes, as long as you can go to the earlier showing. But then you start to feel… guilty. Unsure.

You want to ask Namjoon if he cares if you hang out with Taehyung still. He’s bothered by some aspect of your friendship, obviously, but you don’t know what it is. Is it only the fact that Taehyung is a bit of a barrier for you two? Or is he threatened by the whole friendship?

You lay sideways across your bed in the fading late afternoon light, considering this. You imagine asking Namjoon. You think his answer would probably be, do what you want, I’m not your boyfriend.

Which, fair. That conversation needs to come first. Are you together, do either of you even really want that?

In the end, you don’t bring it up. When it’s time, you do your best to sneak out of the apartment, hoping to avoid any conversation about it at all.

Taehyung’s car idles on the street below, and you let yourself in the passenger side and buckle up. You’re anxious, you realize, as Taehyung starts complaining about an argument he had with Jimin back at their place. You’re afraid he’ll ask something that will lead the conversation to Namjoon, afraid that he’ll catch you tripping up, clue in that there’s something worth his attention there.

You can’t lie to him. He knows this as well as you do.

That’s why he never asks you questions he doesn’t really want the answers to.

You’re anxious for nothing, because Taehyung talks about his own shit for the whole drive to the movies, and the whole time you’re in line for snacks, and for the whole time before the movie starts as you sit in the back row of the theater munching on overpriced popcorn.

But the movie is good, and you get pulled into the fictional world, and when the lights come on you find Taehyung’s arm casually over the back of your seat. You hadn’t even noticed it was there.

“I can’t believe Jimin wouldn’t come see this,” Taehyung scoffs as you file out of the theater and back to the lobby. “That was so good! Just because he doesn’t like that one actor?”

You’re curious if Taehyung would have still asked you to join him tonight if Jimin hadn’t turned him down first.

But, like Taehyung, you don’t ask questions if you aren’t prepared to hear the truth. So you don’t ask. What would be the point?

You wonder during the drive home if you’d feel better talking to Taehyung about what was going on with you if the guy in question wasn’t his friend.

Maybe.

But only a little better.

Monday November 5th

Unlike the Monday before, Namjoon leaves for campus without you on Monday morning. You aren’t sure if he’s upset with you, or if he just needed to be there early. You’re too cowardly to ask.

You need some support.

If it’s not coming from your “best friend”, you’ll have to outsource.

You trudge through your morning class, eat as fast as you can - alone - in the cafeteria, and head to the student center. You get to the store well before your shift starts.

You aren’t allowed to clock in yet, so you kill some time doing reading for class in the stock room. The second your shift starts, you’re at the front registers, uncomfortably close to Kris’s personal bubble.

“Yes?” they ask you archly, eyeing your proximity suspiciously.

“I… have a confession to make,” you say, your voice as quiet as you can make it. You’re barely moving your mouth, you’re trying so hard to not actually say these words. “There… has been… perhaps… some kissing.”

Kris is stunned into silence for the first time since you’ve known them. Eyes wide and jaw slack, they stare at you. Then, they clarify loudly, “By you?”

You growl in exasperation. “Don’t be cute.”

Kris beams. “Can’t help it, it’s ingrained in my DNA.”

“I need you to be just a tiny bit serious,” you tell them, “because I am having a full-blown crisis.”

Kris sobers instantly. “Wait,” they whisper. “Crisis? Explain.”

“I kissed…” you cast your eyes around the bookstore, making sure no one’s lurking, “...the one I live with.”

Kris gasps. “You did not! You kissed him? Not the other way around?”

“I did,” you admit, feeling yourself flush again. “Twice. Well, the second time he started it, if you want to get technical.”

“I do want to get technical,” Kris whispers, voice almost reverent. “I can’t fucking believe this. So, why the crisis?”

You take a deep breath. Which factor to start with? Because you don’t want to give up on Taehyung yet? Because you don’t want to risk altering that friendship beyond repair? Because you don’t know if Namjoon will be able to handle your best friend being a guy - a guy that you’ve had feelings for?

“Because I don’t know what I want,” you say, the simplest truth. “I can’t get my head straight.”

Kris cocks their head. “If you didn’t know Taehyung - if you removed him completely from the situation -.”

“Impossible,” you protest.

They hold up a finger to silence you. “If you removed him from the situation,” they continue over you, “would you want to pursue things with Namjoon?”

Guilt hits you like an ocean wave, tugging you down, down, down. “Yes,” you whisper, because that part is just true. There’s no wiggle room, no if’s. You like him. You want to see where it will go. If there were no chance of losing Taehyung in the mix, it wouldn’t be a question at all.

“Y/N,” Kris says insistently, leaning towards you. “You are not doing anything wrong here. Taehyung is your friend. Nothing else - and that’s his fault. You aren’t, like, betraying him by catching feelings for someone else. He can’t expect you to sit around waiting for him until you die!”

“He doesn’t expect that,” you say, still in a whisper, because suddenly your throat is tight in that way it gets when you’re upset.

“You need to talk to Taehyung,” Kris tells you gently. You groan. “And the conversation should not be you asking for permission, either!” they continue, impassioned. “You need to tell him I’m seeing someone and you need to be okay with it.”

“But they’re friends,” you protest. “It’s so messy. I’ve never had messy before.”

“You’ve never had anything before,” Kris points out.

“That wasn’t nice,” you grumble. “Yes I have.”

“Nothing that mattered,” they correct. “Nothing with feelings.”

You slump onto the counter. “I hate this.”

“I’m telling you,” Kris says airily. “If you don’t talk to them, this is all going to blow up in your face. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.”

“Why do you have to be right all the time,” you complain. Kris smiles beatifically.

When your shifts ends, your feet take you not towards home, but towards the academic building where Namjoon’s “office” is.

You’re thinking about your conversation about Kris; you’re thinking about the idea of fairness.

It isn’t fair, as Kris said, for Taehyung to expect you to wait indefinitely for something that was probably never coming, to hold you emotionally hostage.

It isn’t fair for you to do the same thing to Namjoon - to keep him waiting, wondering, unsure if you’ll ever be completely in it. You know that’s the reason things have kept progressing so slowly between you. You’ve felt guilty letting it get any further, felt afraid of those damn consequences. And if you had to bet, Namjoon has been trying to wait for you to sort it out, to make the choice - to choose him.

You can hear the low tones of his voice as you approach down the quiet hallway. Only the staff are normally back here, sometimes one or two students who need to speak to a professor, so there’s not a lot of foot traffic.

You linger in the hallway, leaning against the wall and messing around on your phone, far enough away to not be able to tell what Namjoon and the student are discussing. When the student - a young guy who looks absolutely dejected as he passes by you - exits, you slip past him and lean against the doorway. Namjoon doesn’t notice you right away. It’s clear that his hours have ended and he’s packing up his stuff. When he does notice a body in the doorway, he jumps, inhaling sharply in alarm.

He slumps against the back of the chair when he registers that it’s you.

“I’m usually the jumpy one,” you giggle.

He gives you a sideways smile as he leaves over his bag on the floor, messing with the clasp. “I didn’t expect to see anyone else. What are you - I mean, what’s up?”

“What am I doing here?” you tease, catching his slip. You feel a little nervous, but you’re determined to do this correctly, to treat him better. “I came to see if you wanted to walk back together.”

Namjoon goes a little still, and you hurry to add, “It’s okay if you don’t! It didn’t make my walk longer or anything to come here first. I just thought I’d check.”

He lets you babble. He does as he’s been doing since the beginning - he waits you out with a patient smile.

“So…” you finally finish, the nerves fluttering and hopping around your stomach. “Do you? Want to walk back with me?”

He stands, lifting his bag from the ground and hoisting it onto his shoulder. “Yes,” he says simply, giving you a tiny smile.

You follow him down the narrow hallway, back down the stairs you’d climbed a minute ago, and outside. It’s a nice day - bright and sunny, chilly but not freezing. Campus is busy, and you have to people-dodge a little as you cross the main section, the crossroads of the two main paths.

The second you cross through the front gate and step onto the city sidewalk on the other side, Namjoon silently reaches for your hand. It’s different from last time, in the rain - not urgent, not pulling. It’s gentle and tentative and, weirdly, somehow sensual the way his thumb runs over your knuckles as he glances sideways at you to see if you’re okay with this.

You give his fingers a tiny squeeze.

You walk together in silence for a few minutes, and then Namjoon asks you quietly. “How was your day? You had class this morning? Was it for Thesis?”

“No, not for my thesis,” you tell him. “Just a regular lit class. It was okay! I was so tired, I could barely stay awake… I think I’m still recovering from the weekend.”

He laughs. “Can’t imagine why,” he teases, voice going a little deeper. “I’m sure you were a perfect angel all weekend long.”

The joke - that you’d dressed as a devil - is not lost on you, and you grin up at him. “Clever,” you say.

He beams back, proud. “Sometimes,” he allows.

“How about you?” you ask. “Did you have class before your TA hours?”

“Yep,” he says, nodding. “Unfortunately, it was a research-based class.”

You groan in sympathy. “First thing on a Monday morning? Fucking ouch.”

“Tell me about it,” he says with a shake of his head. “I’m not much of a napper, but damn, I could use a nap.”

At the apartment, you decide to watch a show you’re in the middle of, and you settle on the couch with a throw-blanket over your legs. Namjoon appears in the doorway of his bedroom, looking at you a little balefully.

“Can I… do you mind if I read out here?” he asks.

You scramble to sit up a little making room on the other side of the couch. “You don’t need to ask,” you say, a little appalled that he’d felt the need. “You live here! I never mind, I promise.”

Appeased, he makes his way over and gets comfortable on the other side of the couch. It occurs to you that this is how you and Taehyung usually spend your time - on opposite ends of the couch - but you shove the thought away.

You glance at him now and then as your show plays, and a few times you think you catch him watching more than reading. In between episodes, you notice his book face-down on his chest, rising and falling in deep, even motions. His head leans back against the arm of the couch, and his eyelids flutter as he dreams.

Smiling a tiny smile, you fluff your blanket to cover his legs, and press play for the next episode.

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Thank you so much for being here!!!!! What did we think of what I lovingly call "the Halloween Pub Crawl Fiasco"?!

Section VII will drop on Friday, February 24th! I hope to see you there!!

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