#sorry im drinking and in a Mood.
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"toxic codependent terumob" "mogamiland terumob" what about terumob get boba. what about terumob nice day at the park. what about terumob grow and heal. then what.
#sorry im drinking and in a Mood.#but like. what if they were happy.#i cant help but feel partially responsible but like.#my whole point w smtwo was that in a circumstance w a power dynamic that imbalanced#and a version of them who hadnt gone through their respective arcs it COULDNT work
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feast (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#im posting this so late because october escaped me Suddenly.. hello....#i wanted to make it a photoset with this other vampire vw wip but i don't think i'm finishing it any time soon and the mood of it is#completely different anyway. also i don't think i ever shared anything about my vampire au on here !!! it's all old art by now so im shy lo#but maybe i'll do a photodump of it. long story short vash is a vampire since birth and ww is a human vampire hunter that turns during thei#travels together due to EoM experiments + getting vash to drink from him at some point.#humans turn once they get bitten but bc ww has been experimented on#& got bitten by a bunch of human turned vampires thruout his hunts he thought it wouldn't be a problem for vash to drink from him but alas.#theyre both ok though theyre traveling together definitely not hating themselves for what theyve become and feeling guilty for what theyve#done to each other. theyre completely normal about it. the biting part is really appealing to me in vampire aus so i draw it a lot but#in reality vash only drank from ww once and ww mightve done it twice under the realization he might actually die otherwise#since he wont drink from humans after being turned.... he's combatting the 5 stages of grief at all times#if this is all nonsense im sorry DMGKSDF I'M NOT good at explaining and this au came from nowhere in the depths of my mind its a mess#ruporas art
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i like ms paint but i like mspaint-esque pressureless brushes more.
exclusive never before seen art process snapshot under cut.
this is what it actually looks like in the canvas. it was a warmup for a larger thing and took way too long so my frustration is justified i think
#homestuck#hom3stuck#home24uck#home2t4ck#dirk strider#jake english#dirkjake#decapitation cw#gddddiiii ialways forgett that one. fuck#admin draws#fanart#anywways uhh tags! context!#first one is post tussle. because i am living vicariously through them#i too want to laugh with a friend and have that soothe the sting from the scrapes and aggrevate the bruised ribs#second one. heat map. pieces of you that you left behind#its something ive been thinking about a lot lately as a framing for trauma. a part of you thats still back there.#the way these two step on each others toes in a more general way too. neither means to. it still happens#i saw art a while ago that speculates on dirk being reminded of the disappearifier whenevr jake is on his shoulders and that stuck with me#im in such a mood with these two again sorry. this is what joining a discord 4 the alpha kids does to your brain#drinking sparkling water straight out of a liter bottle and jamming out to verka serduchka rn what can u do.#guess what im drawing. smile :)
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mighty dragon (and fledgling)
#rewatching atla to ease my insanity#zhao showed up and asked zuko to come to his tent for drinks#and i wanted to reach thru the screen and hit his forehead with a pan so hard his eyeballs popped out of their sockets#hes so WEIRD i wish he died more brutally sorry#i know hes going nuts in the fog dimension or whatever but he needed to be beaten with hammers#ANYWAY. im gonna keep drawing iroh until i can do it in my sleep i guess? Hes really fun to draw i have so much fun drawing him#maybe ill even draw him in a good mood someday.... someday.....#also book 1 zuko is hard asf to draw i hate the armor brah#iroh#zuko#atla#avatar the last airbender
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this is probably one of the most wonderful videos ive made using capcut
★ feat : @chamom1le-t3a . @thecultoflove nd @jumjum-crafts 's tonys
#FOR THE RECORD. hv tony does not know what the act colloquially known as “throwing it back” means#alright . great ? great.#i got one of those super bad mood swings that make me want to fuck shit up last night and i tried to make something to distract myself#yes i started making this at midnight . im sorry that it looks kind of rushed#and im sorry if none of my wonderful friends wanted to be included in this – you can tell me to delete it and i will no problem#though frankly you could even ask me to stab myself and tbh id do it#I HAVE PROBLEMS BUT THATZ OKAY !!!!!#i remembered my colin crossover posts and i thought “why not do one for my FAVORITE LITTLE GUY !!!!”#thought it worked because tony already has a connection to fish in the dhmis cannon or smth#anyway . my favourite tonys !!! all in one place !!! wowow !!!#okay well i guess im gonna go now#please stay safe . drink water . bye-bye#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#dhmis tony#tony the talking clock#dhmis hv tony#capcut#suggestive audio#sort of ? i just want to cover my bases :3
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Being gay and transgender is the first step of being an Adventure Time fan. Next, you must find a group of people you love and beat the shit out of an eldritch beast
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need a boyfriend tht lets me bite him and suck his blood 😔
#sorry im really in a blood drinking mood idk why (can it be bc of my period? maybe?)#haha make me shut up challenge#u know what i wld totally take bf applications for this. probably not actually but maybe
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im gonna die istfg i need to take my pills but i don't want to
#sewercide#im dying#i need a drink#jesus christ#omfg#im just a girl#girl interupted syndrome#girlblogging#hell is a teenage girl#mentally fucked#self destructive tendencies#tw sh destructive behaviour#im in a mood#minor#idk#sorry for being depressing#im so tired#im so ugly#i don't wanna live anymore
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#a post thats in the tags so I don't take up space. Sorry for not being as active the last few days. got another thing piled onto the#'Kaden can't stop having things wrong with their body' So I'm dealing with bs. This one hit suddenly and I spent the day trying to get#into walk in clinics (and failed) they either weren't open or they were already filled for the day.#hoping I can get in sometime tomorrow and if not then its back to urgent care which is really something I'd not do as the wait times#are astronomically long. but if I have too I have too.#If I ever feel a little better I'll be here to bombard you with content and rb your stuff. please keep tagging me. i won't get to it#straight away but usually when I see I'm tagged I will rb it into my drafts so they don't get lost 💜#I feel like I haven't been existing lately irl and its really got me at an extremely low mood point.#sleep pain sleep pain eat/drink sleep pain repeat the cycle and I'm just so mentally exhausted.#I love you all /pl and I hope I can start being a little more cheery soon and I'm sorry a couple of my posts havent been. im just having a#real rough go of it rn#cosmic chatter
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GREAT news for drdi ranboo
#they cant drink but maybe they can get high off their ass <3#tw drug mention#fic blogging#sorry im in such a goofy mood
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anyone else ever get in those silly goofy moods where u just hate urself sooo much that u instantly feel physically almost violently ill just thinking abt urself and also even tho u worked a 12hr shift w no breaks or water running off of the 2 cups of coffee u had for breakfast 20 hours ago, the thought of eating instantly sends bouts of nausea coursing thru ur soul while churning in ur stomach bc ur brain hates u so much that its convinced ur body that u don’t deserve sustenance or anything else that’s life sustaining or promotes ur physical well being because u subconsciously convinced urself that ur such a shit excuse for a human being that u neither deserve nor have any right to anything regarding maslow’s hierarchy of needs bc u r such an awful thing u deserve to be neglected n treated like the nonliving object ur own brain sees ur living body as or am i just mentally ill lol
#laying in bed everytime i think abt myself i feel literally nauseated n like it’s so weird#this feeling comes in waves intermittently just even .01 sec of ‘hm i’m hungry’ FFFFFNOPE HRRGRHFFF VOMITTY#i want to curl up in a ball and die forever i don’t care about me i don’t want to take care of me anymore i’m not even good at it#whyyyyyyyy did i stop taking my meddsssssss i guarantee y’all this is why i’m being such a crybaby on the dash lmaoooo#i have a headache i’m def dehydrated from crying n sniveling n barely drinking any water today while sweating like a mf at work#imma go to bed 🛌 if i don’t wake up i will be soooo pleasantly surprised y’all have no idea FINGERS CROSSED🤞#real talk tho can someone tell me why my body is literally reacting this way for like no real reason#like am i truly that disgusted with myself i make myself nauseous just thinking abt me#ok yeah the answer is yes lol BUT LIKE WHY THATS SUCH A DRAMATIC BODILY RESPONSE TO MY BRAINS DUMBASS THOUGHTS???#ik the body and mind have a super powerful link n the brain influences the body like crazy but like#why this why does my brain literally want me to berate and degrade myself and isolate me and make me cry alone n starve me that’s so mean#i’m not starving btw i’m literally always eating just these past 2 days i’ve been such a fuckup my body won’t let me do anything#i had a chocolate poptart for dinner last night (thurs) n threw myself to bed#i hope i don’t end up hurting myself that would be so lame#i literally don’t have time for that like i am Not doing wound care duty off the clock for my damn self lol#also don’t want to take care of myself so i wouldn’t bandage myself up properly sooo yeah i’m not gonna do anything actually#cleaning ur wounds r super important ok yall ur literally playing god if u don’t do good aftercare snfjfbdj#i can’t believe i’m in this nasty ugly depressive episode i hate this so much i don’t have time for this i hate this cycle#i hate being bipolar 2 n my moods n meds have been so fkcdd up lately that i don’t even have the rlly fun hypomanic episodes anymore#i’ve just been constantly having mixed episodes im unbearable to be around im so sorry for everyone that’s ever spoken to me im insufferable#ok that’s enough im done being dramatic lmao#im gonna give myself a bolus PRN dose of clonnie then i’m going tf to bed#ramblings#shut up cianna
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#got sad because i thought about how lonely i am and then that triggered me to think about [redacted] and that put me in a BAD MOOD-#especially since its christmas eve it was not a good combination#and then i had to go be with my family and not act like i wanted to disappear and so as im battling that every little thing is making me-#upset (because i get very irritable easily especially when in a triggered/anxious state)#i accidentally spilled my drink all over the floor and that just set me off right there#calmed myself down by watching some videos and then i started feeling better enough to go out to the living room to attempt to get-#some cookies (key word ATTEMPT) and as im walking into the kitchen to put my plate away (i finished eating in my room its just tragic reall#i tripped on something glass and it fell over on the floor#....i was SO done after that i put my plate in the sink and slammed my door (not my brightest move im sorry)#and so then my mom talks to me later (when were on our way to church) and shes like 'im not surprised you slammed your door honestly'#and then i started feeling better after i realized she wasn't mad at me at all for this (because im still trying to deal with new triggers)#so anyways then i went to church came home watched white christmas and finished wrapping presents#and now im ready to celebrate christmas#no one cares kristen
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Really is a coping kinda night huh lmao
#speculation nation#negative/#im not going to sit outside. im not going to do anything productive.#bc if i do i might just [redacted]#im going to go home. im going to eat. and then im going to do whatever my cursed little heart desires.#be it video game or drink myself stupid#ykno it's kinda funny that i have therapy tomorrow morning. i almost want to cancel.#it's supposed to be just general problems discussion. i dont even know this woman yet.#but im having. erm. secondhand response i guess#probably also having to do with personal stress with dnd group problems and imminent project due AND having to take on Even More hours#but im also like. it's a secondhand horror kind of thing. hearing about it and seeing people i know deal with it#and working to take on some of the burden for them bc theyre fucking traumatized like hell im going to make them work#and just... hearing about it in general. the knowledge that it happened. the aching empathy for what theyre going through.#it's got me all kinds of fucked up lmfaooo#im being bombarded on multiple sides rn and this really fucking sucks#couldnt have been a worse time for this to happen. bc i STILL have my fucking project & presentation due next week#i know drinking in this kind of mood isnt great. but listen lmfao it's better than me [redacted]. lesser of two evils and all.#sorry i keep talking about this here but it's kinda genuinely life disrupting. & very thoroughly disturbing.#and i cleaned the fucking fryer filter today. worst day for me to do that too. but it needed done.#too much stress not enough release. i really wish i could cry about it.#but nooo i have tear ducts of the desert. no emotional release for me lmfaoooo#at least i have food. im gonna eat plenty and take care of myself. it's the least i can do to try to make things okay.#alcohol ment/#continuing being vague about what happened but it's something that's wormed its way into my brain#dont have to experience it myself for the knowledge of it to negatively affect me. such is the reality of someone with Bad Brain.#wild to hate someone so much who ive never met and is already dead. you total piece of shit. i hope you rot in hell.
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my graduation is supposed to be in august + im requesting to graduate in absentia but i feel terrible abt it bc im not telling my parents 😑
#just bc if i do tell them they'll probably pressure me into going. and i dont fucking want to its my degree i can celebrate how i like#i wont even be living here in august!! and its a wednesday which is super awkward + im only allowed 2 guests but i have 4 parents lmao#which means i have to choose between my mum and dad. which will end up in hurt feelings either way#and theyre making us pay for our own robes which is stupid bc they literally have like 40k from me already#i cant sit in a stuffy hall through a two hour long ceremony that i wont even be able to hear with no one i know ill commit homicide#no point in doing drinks aftwr bc none of my friends have the same graduation date and i dont drink#like theres not a single reason why i would want to go. so im not going to#but i can already feel how disappointed theyll be.... and theyll be more mad if i dont tell them beforehand but i dont want to debate it!!#ik this is such a stupid thing but its making me stress like hell#ugh#my current plan of attack is not to tell them until they ask abt it and then the decision will be made so they cant do anything abt it#even if theyre upset abt it. but i HATE lying even by omission im the least dishonest person ever this is making me feel sick#and i have to tell them eventually bc ill need to get my diploma delivered to them so arghhhhhh#i technically got my degree over a year ago anyway bc i dropped out this is so dumb#they shouldve just been like sorry no ceremony for dropouts!! and then it wouldnt be my problem#whatever. deadline for registering is at 5 so itll be out of my hands once that passes thank fuck#.diaries#i think im getting unnecessarily worked up abt it bc im just generally in a shitty mood tbh#gonna go for a walk and find somewhere to sit and read outside until i feel more sane i think
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telling myself i get to buy a monster and/or a slushy today when we go out (bc we at least need to do recycling/bottle drop off and potentially groceries too since we'll be there)
bc i only slept five hours and yeah i can exist on five hours easily, have done before and god knows I'll have to in the future plenty, but also
sleeby boy deserves monster aussie lemonade bc sleeby
#text post#before anyone asks yes i have the worst joke idea that could fit into fotc abt this drink that would also be at my own expense akdnfkfkgn#i think abt it every time i have this damn drink and i KNOW exactly how the rest of the scene/sketch would go#it's maddening but also mildly off topic now i wonder what drinks like that#might be Aotearoa exclusives/local to the area that the fotc lads would miss while in the states#Brets mum could have filled his fave box with them and killed two birds one stone#also now i want to try any such drinks but tbh that's bc im in a Convenience Store Beverage Gathering mood#not unlike the early humans that came before me for whatever their version of that was for them personally akdndkkgng#oh god i need more sleep im so sorry y'all today is gonna Be Something Silly
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how do i politely tell my sister i don't want to stay up all night and drink and party with her
#when we bought it many weeks ago i was sooo looking forward to it#and now mom dad koi ni hai ghar pe#and she wants to drink#im not in the mood man#last time i drank it was with my bestfriend and we had fun for about like an hour and then she spent all night#talking to her ex boyfriend and her situationship guy and i was all alone#i mean normally i don't mind being alone i love hanging out with myself at night#but.#well im so depressed now so drinking isn't fun combine that with 3 am thoughts#and my sister is even worse than my bestfriend lol atleast my bestie cared about me enough to make sure i had a good time#my sister just. lol she won't look up from her laptop all day till like 7 pm even if i need for 2 seconds#and after work too she's on her phone she doesn't want to watch movies or anything together she doesn't want to go out for ice cream#she just wants to talk to her friends and scroll thru fuckinv insta rather than hang out with me#and like fine im used to it if you're really so busy then theek hai karlo kaam but then i hate that im supposed#to pretend everything is okay and we can have fun#she's nursing a broken heart too and im sick of being around broken hearts i miss having friends why does everyone prioritize relationships#over everyone everything#and she can be sooo unnecessarily condescending sometimes#like i was watching eras yesterday on tv while having dinner and i gave up on asking her to hang out watch stuff together#because im like sooooooo done with begging for attention#but she sat and watched it between her scrolling#and today she's like so what will we do not taylor swift eras lol i want to do something really rockinv and fun#like bhai sorry im not interesting and important enough to answer when i ask a question and sorry my interests are childhish and not fun#enough for you please just hang out with your friends then
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