#sorry if this sounds rlly depressing I’m good!!
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joonberriess · 10 months ago
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⋆ TAGS — really soft and domestic, TW: this deals with postpartum depression, baby daddy!jk, soft lil kisses, insecure!oc, angsty as hell, this is more of a comfort fic, mentioned baby, oc rlly struggles but jk is super supportive, mentioned past pregnancy, this made me cry, soft hours, jk pampers his lovely gf, CANON AUUUU JK’S JUST JK HERE LMAO
⋆ WORD COUNT — 2.4 k
“vámonos a comer un heladito, tu princesita, cómprame cositas. en mis tacones casi todo el día, dame un foot-rub and ice out mi tobillo,”
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Your eyes fluttered under the feeling of lips sliding across your forehead, eyelid, and nose. You hear Jungkook laughing quietly as he envelops you in his strong arms and tugs you close. His murmurs and pestering have you pulling a face in your sleep, nose scrunched cutely given the way he coos teasingly.
“What time is it?” You mumble softly and blankly stare back at him, eyes heavy from sleep.
“Noon.” This has you going stiff, “Relax baby, he’s okay your mom came early to pick him up.” He comfortingly strokes over your side and backside.
You sink back into the sheets and nod, “Why didn’t you wake me?” You mumble under your breath as your eyes flutter shut.
Jungkook pressed more gentle kisses to your forehead with a low rumble, “You need a break, figured maybe we could go out–do some shopping, go to that sushi place you’ve been dying to try.. That sounds good, yeah?” He murmurs.
You hum, “It does, feels like I haven’t been out in forever.”
He waits with a bated breath and smiles softly when you open your eyes and stare back with more clarity, all traces of sleep etched away. “You’re so pretty, y’know that?” He brushes a strand of hair out of your face.
A subtle heat rises in your cheeks as you smile back, “Even with baby barf and spit all over my shirt?”
“The prettiest.” He leans over to kiss your nose, looking into your eyes with a twinkle in his own. He looks at you like you’ve just hung the stars for him.
Shyly, you press a soft smooch to his lips before flopping flat on your back with a sigh, “The fridge’s nearly empty isn’t it?” You mumble, “I’m sorry, I meant to go the other day but I ended up—”
“You’re fine, it’s okay. You know I’m here too right?” Jungkook reaches over to hold your hand, “Don’t worry about it baby, you’ve got your hands full right now and I get it. ‘s okay to ask for help too.”
You look at him with a soft smile, “I love you.” You lay a quick kiss on his cheek and roll out of bed to head to the bathroom.
Jungkook huffs, “Only one? On the cheek too..” He grumbles like a petulant child, sitting up in the messy sheets tangled around his hips and his bare chest out for your viewing.
“Get ready, it was YOUR idea to go out too so don’t make us late.” You fondly roll your eyes, you can hear him whine about something else behind you as the door shuts.
“…..” You pass in front of the body length mirror, pausing for a moment to observe your appearance. Your hands come up to rest over your tummy as you stare long and hard. “…”
You better get ready.
.
“y/n.”
“y/n?”
You snap out of your daydream and look over at Jungkook curiously, “Yeah?”
“I asked if you wanted to check out the fruits, it’s strawberry season and I’m sure they brought out all the fresh stuff.” Jungkook doesn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that you’ve spaced out for a second time since entering the store.
You shake your head, “I don’t like strawberries.” You say disinterestedly.
‘But you ate them your whole pregnancy, what’s wrong now?’ Your brain is screaming at you to just say yes and deal with it but you can’t.
He gives a soft hum, “That’s fine. Is there anything you wanted to get?” He steers the shopping cart away from the fruits, leading you down an aisle filled with spices and other cooking ingredients.
“Um, what was that thing you bought last time? When you made that white stew.” You scrunch your nose, “Ugh I forgot.”
“Ohh, you mean the cream stew mix? Uhh I think it’s down this aisle lemme check.” Jungkook leaves the cart with you as he trails down the aisle looking up, down, and around.
You pick out a few things to try out later on and happily make your way over. “Did you find it?” You curiously peek over his shoulder, damn near yelling because he shoots back up with a ‘ah-ha!’.
“What?” He innocently says after noticing the scowl on your face.
“You scared me.” You huff and punch his arm gently, “C’mon, I wanna get some chips and the aisle is back that way.” Jungkook happily trails after you, telling you all about his upcoming Calvin Klein campaign.
.
“Look,” Jungkook snorts as he holds up a pair of lace g-strings, “you mean to tell me this tiny triangle covers your entire pus–”
“Jungkook!” You hiss quietly after noticing a few older women turn their heads, “Put those down.” You snatch the panties away and toss them back into their respective drawers.
He cheekily grins and picks up another pair of underwear, “What? I didn’t do anything, I was just asking.” He chuckles.
“You are so dumb.” You giggle quietly, “Stop!! You’re going to get us kicked out, I thought I had one baby not two.”
“But babyy this is so boring, jus’ a bunch of girlie stuff and these women keep lookin’ at me like I’m a creep but I swear I’m just trying to help you.” He pouts.
You shake your head fondly, “Here, go find something to buy or do while I finish up here.” His eyes light up and he presses a messy smooch to your cheek before practically sprinting out.
Your eyes slowly turn over to the mannequin sitting tall on the platform donned in a new lingerie set. You stare at it for what seems like eternity while the world goes on about their day around you. Eventually a staff comes to break you out of your bubble.
“Is everything okay miss? Were you interested in our new spring collection?”
“Oh, um yeah, well I’m trying to surprise my boyfriend you know? I don’t know if he’ll like it ‘n stuff.” You murmur softly, eyes lowered and averted from the mannequin.
“Mmm.. what do you like?”
“Silk, maybe a babydoll or teddy..? I think.” You can’t stomach the idea of wearing a two piece, because then that means your….
“We have just the set then, we got a ton of new items for this spring. ” She grins while leading you away.
When you come out of the store, Jungkook’s barely walking back. He has this goofy little smile on his face as he stops in front of you, barely containing his excitement. “Guess what.”
“What did you do?” You giggle softly and eye the bag in his hand.
“I got this for you.” He brings out a large shirt and holds it up proudly, “It says: Best Milf Ever.”
You stare at the words with disbelief and then you’re breaking out into uncontrollable laughter. People around you look in curiosity but you can’t stop, you feel like you’re about to pee from how hard you’re laughing.
And Jungkook?
He stands there with a fond smile, gazing at you lovingly as he puts the shirt back, “You like it?”
You haven’t laughed nor felt this much joy in a while. “I love it.”
.
After having dinner Jungkook takes you out for ice cream. You were a bit burnt out from being out all day so you waited in the car while he went inside to buy the ice cream.
You think back to everything that happened today, it feels nice. You make a mental note to ask Jungkook to take you to a cat cafe sometime later on in the week. “Oh my god.” You mutter in embarrassment.
Jungkook’s walking back with a monstrosity of a ice cream sundae and then your perfectly NORMAL scoop of sherbet with gummies on top. “Jungkook what is all that mess?” You whine.
“What? I wanted triple chocolate with sprinkles and fudge.” He slips into the car and hands the small bowls over, “C’mon you gotta try it.”
“Hell no! This looks like it can either send me to do number three or I’m gonna puke my guts out.” You hiss.
“Number three doesn’t exist, nice try.” Jungkook scoffs softly while pulling out of the parking lot.
“It does now.” You mumble, ignoring his loud laughter.
You can’t hide the face you make while Jungkook eats that horrendous dessert. He doesn’t even care that you’re judging him as he happily watches his little Netflix show he’s been yapping about as of lately.
“I knew it, it was her all along..” He mutters to himself as he eats a large spoonful of ice cream.
“I’m going to the kitchen, you want anything?” You can’t take it anymore as you stand abruptly and pass by.
“No.”
You put your ice cream away and drink a glass of water in the kitchen. You enjoy the peace and quiet, it’s been a cool minute since you’ve had some time to yourself. Between caring for a newborn and balancing your everyday life, shit’s been hard.
Not that Jungkook doesn’t help, but sometimes you feel like you put too much on him. He says he doesn’t care but.. you do.
With a heavy sigh you leave the cup in the sink and trail over to your bedroom. The dainty lingerie bag sits on the corner of the bed, you have yet to try it on but you don’t know..
“Fuck it.” You mutter while stripping down and slipping on the pretty babydoll top and matching thong to go with it.
The soft pink and silky smooth feeling of it has you smiling to yourself over how pretty it is on you. The set even came with a robe so you slipped that on too and tied it securely around your waist before heading back out to show your lover.
“Jungkook.” You call out, “What do you think?”
He pauses his show and looks over, his eyes visibly glaze over as he takes you in from head to toe. “Pretty, I like it—pink suits you.” He beckons you over.
Right, he thinks it’s just a robe.
You walk over with a soft hum and stand between his legs, “I got something else, it’s under.”
His eyes darken and he licks his lips, “Can I?” His hands hover over the sash. You can’t help but shiver with the way he looks at you like he wants to eat you alive. Makes you feel hot.
“Yeah..” Your voice comes out breathier than usual, a hint of excitement underlying your tone.
Jungkook unties the knot and slowly pulls your robe off. “Fuck.” He whispers when he sees the pretty babydoll underneath, he gets a peek at your thong too and he’s nearly drooling.
“Shit baby you look so fuckin’ pretty, look at you,” he gently twirls you around with a low whistle.
His hand hovers over your ass, not quite touching but there. You gently pull his hands closer with a soft, “You can touch.” You murmur.
Jungkook audibly gulps and grabs a fistful of your babydoll, he lifts it up enough to slip his hands around both cheeks. He gives both doughy cheeks a tight squeeze before he’s jiggling it in the palms of his hands.
“Can I baby?” He asks softly, “I wanna take you to bed.” To that you nod.
Before you can get another word out, he abruptly stands and hauls you up into his strong arms. You squeal in shock and hit his shoulders, “Jungkook..! Put me down!” You whine.
“No.” Jungkook smirks as he lands a sharp smack to your ass, “Let me take care of you yeah? Just sit ‘n look pretty for me.” He carries you down the hall and kicks the door open, gently tossing you onto the center of the bed.
You bounce back on the mattress with a soft ‘oof’, he doesn’t let up because he’s already crawling over you and landing a sweet yet heated kiss on your lips. You wrap your arms around him and hug him close, enjoying the soft touches.
Jungkook takes his sweet time kissing you, the kiss is slow and his touches are light and feathery. He holds you like you’re made of glass or something, gently cupping your hips and massaging them. It tugs on your poor heart strings and you find yourself tearing up for no reason..?
He pulls away with a soft pant, pressing his forehead to your own as he stares into your eyes with devotion. “Why are you crying baby? Hm? Why’s my pretty girl sad?” He wipes your tears with his thumbs.
“B-Because, you’re so good to me.” You softly hiccup, “Feel safe with you.”
He brushes your hair out of your face and smooches your nose, “Yeah, what else baby. Talk to me.” He murmurs patiently while cupping the side of your cheek.
“You don’t make me feel alone.” You whisper, and his heart breaks seeing you this vulnerable, “I-I know I haven’t been there for you b-but with the baby and–”
“And who said you needed to take care of me? You already have enough with the baby, you spent nine months carrying our baby and you worked hard to bring him into the world my love. Makes me proud of you baby, strongest girl I know.” He softly smiles.
Your heart races and you feel a knot in your throat as you continue listening to him, “You’re going to be okay—we’re okay. You know I’m always going to be right here for whatever you need, you’re doing so good my love.”
You let out a soft sob and bury your face in his shoulder. These past two months of silently struggling with coming to terms of your newfound motherhood and changes with your relationship finally come to a stop. You feel good knowing that Jungkook is so understanding and supportive.
For a while you thought you were going insane, that it was your fault and you were a horrible mother for feeling so…bad.
Even when you were bedridden for days, void of any life and emotion, Jungkook is still here.
“I love you.” Jungkook whispers.
“I love you too.” You sniffle.
Jungkook helps you slip into one of his shirts as the two of you cuddle for the rest of the night watching silly rom-coms. You know the future will be okay.
Everything is okay.
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TAGLIST: @fragmentof-indifference @jungkooksseuphoria @kooliv @angelarin @jjeonjjk7 @lilliankoo @pb-n-juju @ellesalazar @saweetspoiled @laylasbunbunny @prettyprincejk @cherrysainttt @hyunjinswifeee @joongraduatewithonor @hellbornsworld @leire-mia @m1sss1mp @lissful @winkii @lifeless-firefly @exactlygreatcoffee @taestoess @ayalies @floweryjeons @softtcurse @lilspinachwrld @tearyjjeon @littleobsessedkitty @lovelovelovebts @angeljmnie @rerefundslocals @bangtans-mama @thvhoe @maddkitt @tvse @ohjeon @teteswtnr @jkslovey12 @kelsyx33 @milfpo1ice @sluttydidi @ztyur @beomgyuult @shescharlie @sweet-sourhotcoco @lalita-7 @hazzzelsdimension @p34rluv @kook-net @bonita0-0 @vmapy @dahliadaenerys @frieschan @lilyflowerguk @sayokodiary @babycandy111 @looneybleus @ash07128 @gyukookswhore @rrosiitas
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0omillo0 · 3 months ago
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Oki so Im like searching fics all day long and u said i can request and im never getting enough of ur fics anyways so here luv 💕
Sooo Chan x reader
where maybe reader is already feeling horrible lately. And today smth appens at the studio and chan gets rlly frustrated so he comes home and today yn has been feeling even worse and feels like she can’t even get out of bed but like Chan comes home, not even seeing yns horrible stadium so he lets all the anger out on her wich rlly gives her the last push to like feeling just entirely depressed. Then she is standing crying and totally drained in front of one of the other members door, breaking down totally.
I’ll let the rest up to u, pls make it really really angsty but pls i just need a good lot of comfort at the end ❤️
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BANGCHAN X READER
a/n: I’ve already made a vv similar story but I like this one so much better! let me know what you think ♡ also this is for my beloved @hannamoon143 tysm for your request and sorry for the wait!
genre: angst, comfort
The day had already been heavy, dragging you down like you were walking through thick mud. Lately, it seemed every breath took more effort than the last, and today, it had reached a peak. You couldn’t even get out of bed. The weight of everything pressed down on you, making the air feel like it was suffocating. It wasn’t like this was new—this lingering sadness had been with you for days, like a dark cloud refusing to lift.
You curled up deeper into your sheets, staring at the wall. You hadn’t moved in hours, hadn’t eaten, hadn’t done anything but exist in this space of nothingness. The world outside your room felt miles away, unreachable. The only sound you heard was the occasional muffled voices from outside your apartment.
And then there was a slam. You heard the front door being pushed open harder than usual, and you knew Chan was home. The sound of his keys hitting the counter was sharp, followed by a frustrated sigh that cut through the quiet air. You knew that sound—something must’ve gone wrong at the studio. His day hadn’t been any better than yours, apparently.
Your body wanted to get up, wanted to greet him, but you couldn’t. It was like you were glued to the mattress. Even when you heard his footsteps approaching, your body wouldn’t listen.
The door to the bedroom opened, and without looking at him, you knew he was tense. His energy radiated frustration, the kind that made rooms feel smaller, the air thicker.
“God, today was insane,” Chan muttered, not noticing how you barely shifted under the covers. His voice was rough, filled with a mix of exhaustion and irritation. “Everything went wrong. Absolutely everything.”
You bit your lip, the words you wanted to say caught in your throat. Maybe if you said something, anything, it could stop what you knew was coming.
But then he turned, finally looking at you, his eyes glossing over the state you were in. He couldn’t see it—he couldn’t see how you were breaking inside. All he saw was a person not responding, and it made him snap.
“Can you at least say something?!” His voice wasn’t loud, but it cut deep. His frustration had reached its peak, and you were the closest target. “I’ve been dealing with so much today, and you’re just lying there. Not a word, nothing. Are you a fucking emotionless doll??”
You flinched at his tone, at his words. Your chest tightening even more. The tears that had been sitting at the edge of your eyes began to spill over silently.
Chan didn’t notice right away. His anger kept him blind. He sighed. “I’m sorry if I sound harsh, but it’s been such a mess, and I can’t—” His words stumbled to a stop when he saw the way your body shook, the way you were crying silently beneath the covers.
“Y/N?” His voice softened, the frustration vanishing as quickly as it had come. “Hey, hey…” He moved closer, but it was too late. The weight of everything—his words, your own struggles—it all collapsed in on you like a tidal wave.
You sat up slowly, the sobs shaking your frame as you tried to wipe the tears away, but they kept coming. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely audible through the storm of emotions. “I’m sorry, I didn’t— I just… I can’t…”
Chan’s face fell as he realized what he’d done. “No, Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t see it. I was so wrapped up in my own head that I didn’t see how much you were hurting. I’ve made it worse I’m so sorry—“
But his apology couldn’t stop the breaking that was already happening inside you. You needed to escape, to find some sort of relief from the pressure that was crushing you from all sides.
Without saying a word, you slipped out of the bed, your legs unsteady, and you walked toward the door, each step feeling heavier than the last. Chan’s voice followed you, concern clear in his tone, but you couldn’t stop. Not now.
You found yourself in front of one of the other members’ doors. You didn’t even know how you got there, your vision blurred with tears. Maybe it was instinct, seeking comfort somewhere, anywhere, that wasn’t the suffocating silence of your room or the crushing weight of your mind.
You knocked, barely registering the sound of your own fist against the wood. And then, as if the last string holding you together snapped, your body gave in. You slid down to the floor, your arms wrapping around your knees as the sobs came harder now, uncontrollable, raw.
The door opened, and the blurry shape of someone—was it Felix?—stood there, eyes wide in shock. “Y/N…?” he asked gently, his voice like a balm, but you couldn’t respond. All you could do was cry.
“Hey, hey, what happened?” Felix crouched down beside you, his hand hovering for a moment before gently resting on your shoulder. His touch was warm, comforting in a way that made you feel safe enough to let it all out. “It’s okay, I’m here. You’re not alone.”
His words broke something else in you, but this time, it wasn’t painful. It was a release. The tears kept falling, but his presence kept you grounded, kept you from drowning completely.
Behind you, you heard Chan’s hurried footsteps. He stopped when he saw you on the floor, a mix of guilt and worry etched into his face. “Y/N…” His voice cracked. “I’m so sorry.”
Felix looked up at him, a silent exchange passing between them, and Chan knelt down beside you. “I didn’t mean to—” He stopped, choking on his own emotions, before continuing softly, “I should’ve seen that you were hurting. I was selfish.”
You looked up at him, your vision still blurred, but you could see the regret, the hurt in his eyes. And it wasn’t just because he’d had a rough day. It was because he hadn’t been there for you when you needed him most.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered again, your voice shaking.
Chan shook his head, reaching out to take your hands in his, his grip gentle, tentative. “No, no, you don’t have to apologize. I’m the one who wasn’t paying attention. I love you, and I should’ve been there for you. I’m so so sorry for calling you.. the way I called you. I’m sorry baby”
You shook your head. “Do you think I’m useless?? Am I just a doll to you??”
Chan realised how much his words hurt you. At this point he felt so guilty, his expression softened, his big glossy eyes looking directly at yours. “Y/Nie, my love, I didn’t mean to say those awful things to you. I understand if you’re not going to trust me anymore, but I swear I love you more than anything and I’ll do anything to make it up for you.. for us..”
Felix gave a small nod and stood up, retreating to give the two of you space. Chan pulled you closer, resting his forehead against yours, his breath shaky as he spoke, “We’re going to get through this. Together, okay? I’m not leaving you to deal with this alone.”
And for the first time that day, you felt a small sense of relief, a small flicker of hope. It wasn’t going to be easy—these feelings, this heaviness—but you weren’t alone. Chan was with you, and that made all the difference.
As you sat there, held in his arms, the storm inside you slowly began to calm, the cracks in your heart starting to mend, piece by piece.
“I’m here,” Chan whispered again, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “I’ll always be here.”
taglist
@hannamoon143 @intartaruginha
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chelseeebe · 2 years ago
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fatefully.
summary: your roommate is incessant in setting you up with his friend. when things get tough, can he persevere through your anything-but-normal life?
i acc liked this and then the more i kept writing, the more i started to h8 it but i hope that you can appreciate some eddie fluff hehe. i have had the worst eddie brain rot recently idk what’s goin awnnn i acc rlly want to do a p2 w some angst (obviously) but i don’t know.. potentially.
modern!eddie au
smut(18+), mentions of hospitals and sick brother ! erm alcohol n weed usage 2 no use of y/n!
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ❤︎ ❤︎ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
you were losing the will to live. the continuous banging had been going on for what seemed like hours. the pillow doing nothing to muffle the sound either.
the roommate situation with steve had been going well so far. he kept to himself, kept his shit clean and seemed to be an incredibly polite guy from what you saw of him. not that that was very often.
trying to balance an internship and a supposed to be part-time but was something more like full-time bar job meant that you rarely crossed paths. mostly coming home in the early hours and crashing before you had to be up again in a number of hours to do it all again.
either way, it all seemed well and good until tonight. he'd bought some girl over before you got back. you could hear the giggles through the door the second you walked in. rolling your eyes and hoping that they'd at least shut up when they heard you were home.
nada.
you could hear every second of their session and the subsequent pillow talk that followed. making out that her name was georgia and she had an incredibly high-pitched, whiny voice that made your teeth clench.
though, you must've dozed off at some point, waking to the god-awful sound of your alarm. ready for another twelve hour long day on four hours of sleep. oh goody.
-
when you finally get home after what felt like the longest day ever, steve’s still awake, slumped on the couch watching some intense movie. he was alone, no georgia in sight. so you thank the high heavens that you might actually sleep tonight.
‘hey,’ smiling politely as he pauses the tv, sitting up properly.
‘what’re you still doing up?’ you ask, he’d normally be asleep, or at least in bed at this time, most people were.
‘ah, i got way too into this movie,’ he chuckles, ‘you always get back this late? you must be exhausted.’
you hang your bag on the hook, shimmying out of your jacket and placing it on top. spending far too much time focussing on making it sit perfectly, rather than having to look him in the eye after everything you’d heard last night.
‘i am.. especially after last night,’ rolling your eyes at the wall.
‘yeah.. shit, sorry ‘bout that,’ he adds sheepishly and you can hear the couch shift as he stands up.
you shrug, spinning around at last, having spent an awkward amount of time fiddling with your jacket, ‘your friend not staying tonight?’ wiggling your brows at him.
‘nah.. it’s not like that.. y’know.. she is just a friend,’ flashing you an awkward smile from across the room.
‘hmm you seem pretty friendly for just friends,’ walking into the small kitchen and opening the fridge. steve’s shelf fully stocked with a shit ton of organic food while your shelf laid empty.
he follows, lingering a few steps behind, ‘she is! what? you don’t have friends like that?’
‘friends that i have extremely loud sex with? no, no i don’t,’ you didn’t really have friends full stop. not since moving to the city at least.
closing the depressing fridge and sighing, adding grocery shopping to your already miles long to-do list.
‘whaat? c’mon that’s like the best part of your twenties.. wait, you have.. haven’t you?’ he asks cautiously, leaning against the doorway.
you scoff, now slightly offended at what he was implying, ‘are you asking if i’m a virgin?’
‘no! well- kinda,’ he holds his hands up in innocence, ‘i just.. you don’t y’know, go out a lot.. i’m just digging myself a hole here,’ shaking his head as the words keep tumbling out.
‘no, i am not a virgin.. if you must know, i just don’t have any time to waste on finding moderately attractive guys to have disappointing sex with.. so i don’t,’ trying to formulate how you can escape from this awkward conversation so you can crawl into bed and die.
he ponders for a second, pushing himself off of the frame and blocking your exit plan, ‘don’t shoot me down straight away, okay?’
you roll your eyes, the clock on the wall indicating that you’d have to be awake in seven hours time and with whatever nonsense was about to come out of his mouth, who knew when you’d actually get to bed?
‘what?’
he nods to himself, a smile creeping onto his face, ‘i think you should meet my friend, he’s the perfect person to bring a bit of fun to your life..’ he can see the stern look on your face, ‘no, seriously.. i think you should meet him.’
you try to hide the annoyance on your face, ‘no,’ his face falls at your immediate dismissal, ‘i mean, i don’t have the time.. in fact, i need to go to bed now..’ taking a few steps towards him, hoping the low light would hide your flushed cheeks.
humiliating that he not only saw you as some pathetic virgin but that he needed to actively help you make some friends.
‘please,’ standing still in the doorway, ‘meet him, i’m sure he’d be very happy to meet you.. i know,’ face lighting up, you could almost see the lightbulb going off in his head, ‘i’ll have some friends over and it can be like.. completely natural and casual, yeah?’
no i don’t want to fucking meet your strange friend. i want you to stop pitying me like i’m some lonely child that desperately needs friends. how about that?
you don’t say it, obviously. instead shaking your head and attempting to slip past the small gap between his body and the door. his arm extends to fill the space, completely blocking you in.
you huff, frustrated with his stupid games, ‘i have work,’ the only rebuttal you knew he couldn’t argue against.
‘when?’
‘..all the time,’ you look up at him, his chestnut eyes already boring into yours, it knocks you sick just how beautiful they were.
‘that’s a lie,’ raising his eyebrows.
‘it’s not,’ it was. but hell, you’d pick up an extra shift if it meant you wouldn’t be forced to socialise with his friends and especially not whoever the hell this mystery man was.
‘c’mon.. you deserve to have fun, you work so much.. call in sick.’
see, steve had the privilege of not having to work for survival. he’d been handed a cushy job at his dad’s law firm the second he’d turned 21. never had to worry about bills or rent or getting fired. one day he’d be the one running the company and he could sit back and watch the money roll in while he did nothing.
lucky him.
‘steve, i really can’t.. maybe another week,’ it was like talking to a child, empty promises to get him to relent.
he frowns, arms crossed over his chest which gave you just enough room to get past him and speed walk to your room.
‘you’re boring,’ he calls after you, sighing when your door shuts.
breathing a sigh of relief knowing that you could now avoid that awful conversation for at least another week.
-
you hadn’t thought anything about the quiet music from the hallway, assuming maybe ms. georgia was over again and he’d finally learnt just how much other people could hear.
so when you open the door and god knows how many people are milling around in your living room you want to strangle steve fucking harrington and his conniving little face.
he grins when he notices you walk in, coming over to the door with a red cup full of something. you mouth a bunch of obscenities, hoping only he could see.
‘you left your schedule on the counter.. you’re a liar,’ smirking as his plan had worked perfectly.
there aren’t even any words to describe how pissed off you are, ‘you’re an asshole,’ you hush, slinging your jacket on the hook rather aggressively.
his friends all eye you, trying not to listen to your angry whispers. you wonder which one he was trying to set you up with. already dying thinking of the awkward conversation that was inevitably coming.
‘c’mon live a little..’ he nudges your arm, spinning you to face the group and you want to die. hoping that somehow the earth would open up and swallow you whole.
‘i’ll introduce you,’ he smiles, leading you over to the group with his hand firmly on your arm, making sure you couldn’t slip away.
if you hadn’t wanted to die before. you definitely did now.
his friends all seemed lovely, muttering about how much they’d heard about you and other fake pleasantries. you’d apologised for looking like the way you did.. gritting your teeth that this was all very much a surprise for you.
georgia’s here again, perched on the end of the couch, sipping on her drink. separated from the rest of the group. she’s nice enough, smiling as he introduces you properly. a little bashful as she’s well aware you were in the apartment the other night.
he gets round everyone and you can’t figure out who he was so desperate for you to meet. either they were in relationships with each other or just completely not the fun loving guy he’d been so incessant about.
you don’t bring it up, hoping maybe he couldn’t make it and you’d only have to sit there and politely chatter with these strangers and not have to try and graciously let some guy down. that you could deal with.
‘i’m gonna get changed,’ you nod, pulling away from steve who flashes you a look, a warning not to just disappear into your room which you’d highly considered.
you do prolong getting changed, sitting on the end of your bed with your blouse unbuttoned, contemplating whether barricading yourself in your room was viable. dealing with an annoyed steve would be ten times better than the night you would have.
a knock on your door throws you out do your self-pitying session, jumping up and rushing over to answer the door before steve could barge his way in.
‘i’m literally nearl-,’ you stop, interrupted by a face that did not belong to steve, a pair of kind brown eyes staring back at you, obviously not really sure what he was expecting on the other side of the door.
‘uhh.. the bathroom’s down the hall,’ pointing to closed wooden door, hoping he’d just been mistaken.
‘oh,’ the stranger smiles, ‘no.. steve told me to tell you to hurry up,’ he shrugs, ‘i don’t know, i just got here,’ relinquishing himself from any blame.
'right, tell him i'm nearly ready and that he's an asshole,' going to close the door on him before his boot catches it, keeping it open.
'i'm eddie.. by the way,' sticking his hand out through the gap for you to shake. which you do gingerly, catching sight of your white work shirt which you'd rather embarrassingly remembered was half unbuttoned.
your hand flies up to cover your exposed chest, 'oh my god, i'm so sorry,' cheeks flushing a deep scarlet. he'd done a great job of not staring down your shirt at least.
he laughs airily, watching as you shrivel up in pure embarrassment, 'i'll let you get dressed,' he announces, sauntering off to the living room with a shit eating grin on his face.
you manage to cool your face down and get changed. by process of elimination you could guess that eddie was most likely the guy steve was so enthusiastic about you meeting and now you'd have to sit there for hours trying to be polite after he had definitely just seen your tits.
coming into the living room, it's clear that steve's conspired with everyone and made them shuffle, leaving the only free seat the one next to eddie on the smaller couch. he was smart, you'd give him that. even if you did want to wring his neck as he smirked at your from the other couch.
you don't even want to look poor eddie in the eyes, still utterly ashamed about him seeing you half naked. fortunately, he breaks the awkward tension first, offering you a drink and a small, reassuring smile.
steve's friends are all lovely, making you feel slightly guilty for how cold you'd been when you'd walked in. they'd all been well aware that this was one of steve's tricks. even eddie which made everything so much worse. knowing that they'd all been brought here in an attempt to force you two together.
they get into a heated conversation about something you don't understand, leaving you to find solace in the lukewarm drink in your hand. steve and georgia take themselves off into the kitchen and there's a collective groan and a shared look.
'what?' you ask, watching as their faces speak a thousand confusing emotions.
one girl rolls her eyes, leaning in to speak in hushed tones, 'how long has she been back around?'
'uh.. i don't know, she was over thursday?' still confused at their sudden change in attitude.
'hmm,' she nods, giving the brown haired girl a look you can't pick up on, 'annoying as fuck, right?' she snickers, glancing over to make sure they were still in the kitchen.
well, yeah. but you weren't going to outright state that you were annoyed. it wasn't really any of your business. so you just shrug in response, a smile creeping onto your lips when she laughs loudly.
'you won't have to deal with it for long,' the girl, robin her name is, laughs, leaning back in the armchair to watch the pair in the kitchen, seemingly innocently bickering about something.
'oh?'
she turns to give you her full attention, 'they do this every few months or so.. she'll tell him to fuck off, so he does.. and then a few months later she'll crawl out of the woodwork and want to be friends again,' she rolls her eyes, 'we don't like her.'
that'd explain why you'd never seen her before. it was finally his turn in the rotation.
'right.. seems pretty complicated, why would you be friends with someone like that?'
'oh babe, no one knows.. just gotta let him do his thing, it never lasts long,' she laughs, nudging your knee with hers as they walk back over, jumping back into her seat with her eyebrows raised.
-
everyone had sorta gone off into their own little pockets of conversation, leaving you and eddie to chat between yourselves. it was slightly uncomfortable at first, through no fault of his. the thought of you flashing him still playing heavily in your mind.
'it's awkward, isn't it?' he leans in, looking at his circle of friends, none of them paying you any mind.
his straightforward nature strangely putting you at ease, 'a little.. at least you knew what you were walking into, i had no idea you'd all be here,' finding some hilarity in the half-assed blind date steve had tried to set up.
'he's a prick,' eddie laughs, swigging on his beer, 'it's funnier if you play into it, make him think he's winning,' tapping his finger on the side of his head.
'well, how d'we do that?' asking curiously, wanting nothing more than to antagonise steve.
'mm, follow me,' clearing his throat as he stands from the sofa, holding his hand out for you to take, narrowing your eyes at him but obliging. his fingers are calloused as they encase your hand, but it's almost comforting. he felt real.
he doesn't say a word as he walks through the living room, their eyes all following as he guides you over to your bedroom without so much of a look back. the silence is deafening as their conversations quieten, all trying to eavesdrop, figuring out what the hell just happened.
once the door is shut, he holds his finger over his mouth, listening out for the sound of voices again knowing they'd be doing the exact same thing on the other side. you can pick up on steve's voice faintly starting up again over the music and he nods, that same shit-eating smile on his face from earlier.
'now what?' staring at him in amusement, now unknowingly trapped in your bedroom for the foreseeable.
he shrugs, taking a seat on your bed, gazing around the room, 'now we wait.. you got anything to drink in here?'
you ponder for a moment, 'no.. d'you smoke weed?'
his eyes light up at the very question, grinning from ear to ear.
-
you're mid wheeze when someone bangs on the door, laid back on your bed, eddie sprawled out on the other side laughing maniacally at the shitty impression of steve you'd attempted.
'come in,' you call out, trying to catch your breath and stop laughing, though his face was only making you giggle more.
the door swings open to reveal robin stood on the other side, peeking through her fingers, 'oh,' she looks baffled, not expecting such innocence, 'what're you doing?'
eddie runs a hand over his face, trying his hardest not to start laughing again, 'smoking.. you want in?' offering what must have been the third spliff to her.
'i'm good.. we're going out, jon's got some underground club he desperately wants to go to.. you coming?' her face still very much not understanding what you two were giggling about.
you shake your head, 'nah.. i'm okay,' smiling up at her, hair fanned out around your head.
eddie looks over to you before answering, 'i'm gonna stay here,' slotting the joint into your lazily spread fingers.
your heart beats faster when his fingers brush against yours, though, that was a hard feat with how much the weed was slowing down every other part of you.
'alright well, goodnight losers,' robin calls out, closing the door behind her.
you only need to look at eddie and you're roaring with laughter again, clutching your stomach, holding the spliff in the air so to not get ash all over your bed.
you hadn't imagined your night ending like this but you were pretty glad it did.
-
a muffled argument pulls you from your sleep. pulling your face from the comfort of eddie's back, you must've rolled over in your sleep and decided to cling onto him. it doesn't feel as weird as it probably should have, in fact, it was pretty comforting. he groans and you can feel the vibration in your cheek.
'what the fuck?' you mumble sleepily, hazy with sleep and honestly probably still slightly high.
you don't even remember falling asleep, but you must've pulled your jeans off at some point in the night, your bare legs strikingly obvious as you sit up slightly, trying to listen to the bickering. you can't really make out any words, just a lot of angry, hushed tones.
'this happens everytime,' turning over to face you, curling one arm beneath the pillow.
'what does?'
'those two arguing, every single time,' rolling his eyes, 'watch this,' he bangs his fist against the wall a couple times, making the row to silence. he grins into the pillow, closing his eyes again as he'd won the who can be louder war.
you put your head back down onto the pillow, smiling at his smug, sleepy face, 'thank you,' you say quietly, watching as one eye peaks open, just staring at each other in your darkened room, small rays of sun beginning to peek through.
it's a few small minutes, gazing, sleepily at one another before the feud begins again.
'fuck me,' eddie moans, bursting into laughter as he extends his arm, pulling the blanket over your heads, stifling at least some of the irritating sounds from the other room, giggling as you both drop off back to sleep.
when you wake up again, at a more appropriate time of the morning, your bed is empty. you’re not sure why you’re disappointed but your heart drops slightly when you turn to the empty mattress.
until something crinkles beneath your body, fishing out the small piece of paper from under your arm.
had to go 2 work, didn’t want 2 wake u
text me (476) 781-7759
scrawled on the page messily, brushing the tiniest hint of a smile on your face as you roll out of bed, swearing to yourself to at least leave it a few hours before texting.
-
eddie’s not the best texter but he makes damn sure to respond to you. even though it is just mostly silly, irrelevant texts about what you were doing. being sent occasional pictures of cars or whatever it was he was working on. the conversation lasts all weekend, concealing your phone from steve’s curious eyes.
once monday hits, your texts become less frequent and you feel slightly guilty. especially when he’d double text, thinking maybe you hadn’t received the first one.
it was sweet really, which only made you feel worse for not getting back to him in a normal time frame. a rare moment of peace meant you could finally catch up on his tirade of texts and sling back a lazy reply before getting back to editing some of the worst articles you’d ever seen.
what r u doing on saturday?
another text pinged through, following the last one from about an hour ago.
I’ve got work :(
where do u work?
firing back almost immediately after your response. you scan the office before replying, making sure no one was watching.
In Simmon’s😖
ohh okay
you lock your phone, promising to respond properly on your break. slightly stumped by his short reply.
-
you’re on autopilot, dashing up and down the length of the bar, faking a smile at the slimy old men ogling you from the other side.
so much so that you don’t notice who exactly is stood at the register.
‘what can i get for you?’ tapping at the screen to send another order through before giving the customer your full attention.
he doesn’t respond, pulling your eyes from the screen, the familiar chestnut eyes staring back, slightly widened as your customer service voice was in full swing.
‘oh my god, what are you doing here?’ immediately switching off, repressing the growing grin.
‘i thought i’d see if you wanted a ride home? i was just passing,’ eddie chuckles, eyeing your beer stained uniform.
‘oh.. yeah,’ smiling fully now, ‘i don’t finish ‘til twelve though,’ you’re sure he had better things to do on a saturday night than sit in the rundown bar waiting for you to finish.
‘it’s okay, i’ll wait,’ he nods, sliding into the empty bar stool, ‘i’ll take a drink though.. if you’re offering,’ smirking over the bar.
you feel giddy, having to excuse yourself for a moment while you recollect in the kitchen. waiting for the butterflies to subdue but they never do.
-
the engine idles as you sit outside of your apartment building, neither of you wanting to be the one to say goodbye first.
‘d’ya wanna come in?’ you proposition, steve’s car wasn’t in his usual spot so you knew you’d at least be away from his prying questions.
‘do you want me to?’ you hadn’t sounded entirely confident in your question, it had been a while since you’d done this, okay? it’s valid.
‘i wouldn’t have asked if i didn’t,’ smiling as you try to hold your nerve.
‘okay,’ he laughs, turning the engine off.
he follows you into the building, holding the door and letting you enter first. desperately struggling to not swoon at the very basic level of chivalry. walking into your dark apartment with eddie at your heal, eternally grateful that steve wasn’t home.
slinging your bag onto the floor, keys rattling as they land in the shared fruit bowl turned key-bowl. sidling into the kitchen knowing that you still had not gone grocery shopping.
‘have you eaten? i’m starving.. i can cook.. uh,’ leering into the barren cupboard, ‘..noodles,’ wincing at severe lack of food.
‘sounds good to me,’ he slides onto one of the tall chairs, watching as you grab a saucepan. he couldn’t believe that you were offering to cook for him even after your long day.
the door slams shut, jolting your attention from the stove as steve walks in, grumpy and feeling sorry for himself, his navy bag slung over his shoulder. he comes trundling into the kitchen, questioning if he was actually seeing this.
‘whoa-ho-ho, what’s going on here?’ nudging eddie with his elbow, shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
‘i’m cooking, genius,’ stirring the pot of simmering noodles, choosing to ignore his implication.
‘wha- you don’t cook for me,’ jutting his bottom lip out, leaning across the kitchen counter.
‘you don’t pick me up from work.. so no.’
‘oh, so it’s like that now, is it?’ wiggling his eyebrows, elbowing eddie once again.
you roll your eyes, pretending that you didn’t hear the teasing tone in his voice.
‘where are you going?’ eddie asks, eyeing steve’s large duffel bag that now sat on the kitchen floor.
he lets out the biggest groan, slapping his hand on eddie’s shoulder, ‘i was going to george’s but.. well, that’s done,’ expelling all of the breath in his lungs in the most over dramatic sigh.
‘again?’
steve gives him a look, ‘yes again.. i’ll tell you all about it in the morning,’ he sounds deflated, like an old balloon, ‘i’m going to bed, enjoy your shitty noodles, don’t do anything i wouldn’t do.’
you glare at him as he backs out of the room, threatening to throw the wooden spoon at his head.
eventually flopping down onto the sofa with eddie, the pathetic bowl of noodles in your lap, ‘sorry.. it’s kinda shit,’ prodding your fork into the pitiful meal.
‘noodles are actually my favourite food,’ smiling as he digs in.
you appreciate it, even if it was total bullshit.
‘how was your day?’ he asks, eyebrows quirking up as you exhale rather dramatically, ‘not great then?’
you chuckle quietly, ‘not really..’ shrugging, ‘both of my bosses are assholes, i hate my job- jobs, and i have this.. fucking column to write if i want a permanent one.. there’s fifteen of us all going for the same position,’ covering your mouth as you’re well aware it’s probably highly unattractive to babble on with noodles in your mouth.
‘well shit.. i mean, if you wanna rant, i can listen and offer shitty advice,’ a short, breathy laugh leaving his mouth.
so you do. you tell him everything, rambling on about your dickhead boss and how you’d expect a much better wage for slaving over a bunch of established journalists, practically doing their jobs for them. going on about being forced to pick up another job or go back home. he listens intently, placing your empty bowls on the coffee table gently.
‘and then my mom..’ you stop yourself, having already dominated the entire conversation, ‘sorry, ive just made you listen to all that..’
‘no, carry on,’ nodding encouragingly, it felt so good to just have someone so interested in what you were saying, even if it was just ranting.
you look at him, genuine interest in his eyes, sighing before you continue, ‘it’s just, since i’ve moved out.. she seems to think i’m earning a shit load more than i am.. she needs the help so i just send it, but it’s just.. frustrating,’ frowning slightly, fiddling with the hole in your tights, ‘sorry.. too much,’ grimacing as you’d just laid bare your problems to an unsuspecting eddie.
he sits for a moment before beginning, ‘do you ever do anything for yourself?’
‘huh?’
‘what do you do that’s just for you?’ watching intently as you shuffle awkwardly.
you shrug, not really able to think of anything, ‘..i don’t know,’ it wasn’t a lie, but it felt awful to say.
‘i think, and this is just my opinion so ignore it if you want.. but i think you should stop living for other people, and start doing things for you,’ he shrugs, ‘like i said, that’s just my opinion.’
you ponder for a second, your idea of a fun time is getting to go to bed before midnight. sometimes you’d indulge in a little marijuana if it was a particularly bad day or had any spare money at the end of the week. that was about it. you didn’t really have time for all of the things he and steve would do for fun, pretentious clubs and the like. hell, you didn’t have the money for that shit.
‘i don’t think i know how.. i’ve helped my mom since my dad left.. and it’s not like i can just stop working or get a new job, like.. i have to or i’ll be homeless,’ chuckling slightly though the words just sounded depressing coming from your mouth.
‘it doesn’t mean you have to stop doing those things.. just.. do something for you too,’ lips curling into a small smile, it was genuine advice and you appreciated it but you weren’t sure your idea of enjoying yourself was the same as his.
‘okay.. how? tell me how to have fun,’ turning to face him properly, legs pulled under yourself, watching as he thinks for a second.
‘i could show you,’ his smile slowly turning into a soft smirk and you’re sure you know where this is going next.
‘okay,’ it comes out quieter than expected, swallowing as his eyes never leave yours, his hand slides across the back of the couch cushions.
his face now mere inches from yours, lips parted slightly as his eyes flit to your lips. you instinctively lean in, eyes fluttering closed, his breath tickling your cheek.
your nose brushes against his before your lips meet, hesitant to make initial contact. this would mean that you couldn’t just string him along on text, it would become something.
his lips press against yours before you can make the first move, pulling you closer by the neck, hand resting on the bare skin.
you sigh softly when they meet properly, it’d been a good while since you’d done this, now suddenly afraid that you were doing it all wrong. though there wasn’t chance to do much thinking, his lips leading the kiss, moving against yours in a fashion that felt completely natural.
fingertips pressing into your neck, trying desperately to pull you even closer than you were. the feel of his tongue swiping across your bottom lip makes your mouth fall open, allowing full access. you can feel the hint of his smile against your face, pushing his chest to yours.
steve’s door swings open and he stares down the hall at the sight of your faces smushed together, peaking just above the sofa.
‘oh,’ his voice echoes, pulling you apart, blood rushing into your cheeks, not sure how much of that he’d seen, ‘well damn, i didn’t mean to interrupt,’ laughing.
you don’t avert your eyes from your lap, embarrassed to look at your gormless roommate. you can feel the heat soaring in your cheeks, eddie’s fingers ever-so-slowly leaving your neck while he clears his throat.
‘did you want something?’
‘nope.. i’m just gonna-,’ disappearing back into his room with a quickness.
eddie turns to look at you, finding the humour in it all, ‘hey,’ placing his fingers underneath your chin, tilting it upwards to look at him, ‘it’s just steve,’ trying to ease some of your unnecessary embarrassment.
you let out a tiny giggle, nodding along with him, because at the end of the day it was just steve.
‘d’ya wanna stay?’ you ask timidly, blinking at the bambi-eyed man sat in front of you.
he nods quickly, stroking along your jawline with his thumb, soothing and gentle. his sweet, bambi eyes causing those darn butterflies to flap around your stomach again.
spending the night sharing soft kisses in bed, allowing yourself the undeniable feeling of falling for someone that you’d denied yourself for years. giddy as his hands explore the more hidden parts of your body. it wasn’t inherently sexual, but loving and intimate.
falling asleep on his chest, with a grin painted on your face.
-
you sit cross legged on the couch the next morning, eating the eggs eddie had foraged stolen from steve and very kindly cooked for you.
steve makes an appearance mid-way through the morning, looking disheveled and highly displeased when he realised those were his eggs you had enjoyed.
‘and you didn’t even leave me any? i can’t believe you, both of you.. assholes,’ he whines, coming into the living room with a pout on his face, flopping down into the spare love seat.
eddie offers the nearly demolished plate out to him, ‘here.. i’m finished anyway,’ shaking his head at the grumpy boy.
steve takes the measly piece of toast, ‘oh thanks..’ tucking in to the scraps, pleased with himself.
‘so, you and georgia? over for good or..?’ eddie asks, wanting the full story. getting in there first before steve could mention you two.
‘for good,’ he mumbles, mouth full of toast.
‘no shit,’ eddie exclaims, leaning forward to place the plate on the small coffee table, ‘you ended it or she did?’
mindlessly, you stretch your leg out over eddie’s, tuning into steve’s stupid story. you don’t even realise you’ve done it until he starts mindlessly playing with your leg, running his fingers up and down the smooth skin.
completely tuning out of whatever steve had begun to say, focussing on the way eddie’s eyes followed steve, frowning as he told this elaborate tale of the breakup-not breakup.
you’d found yourself doing that often, gazing at eddie, enamoured with the way his entire face seemed to tell you exactly what he was thinking and feeling.
it didn’t help the way his perfect, plump lips moved and you practically could feel them pressed against your-
‘are you even listening? or are you too busy making kissy faces at eddie?’ steve stops in the middle of his pacing to question you, hands stuck mid-air.
your head snaps to face him, shocked by his direct call out, ‘i- i was listening.. carry on,’ nodding to get him to continue, your cheeks once again flushing with colour.
he narrows his eyes at you before getting on with his spiel, ‘okay so, i told her.. no, no this is it and then she cried.. but i didn’t give in, nope- i left,’ he nods in satisfaction, a smug smile on his face.
from what you’d heard about their situation, he had never been the one to end things. it had always been her. so this must have been a monumental thing, and he was well worth his dues for finally growing some balls and getting rid.
eddie slaps his hand against your calf in celebration, smiling at steve, ‘good for you, y’know she’s bad news.. always has been,’ shrugging, still slightly in disbelief that he had been the one to end it.
‘robin’s gonna be so annoying.. i don’t even wanna hear it,’ shaking his head, ‘but thanks, we’re going out tomorrow, to celebrate,’ pointing at the two of you sat on the couch.
-
you’re actually ready early for once, sat glancing at the time on your phone. okay, twenty minutes til you needed to leave, a quick lie down on your bed couldn’t hurt, right? hell, you could leave in twenty five and not be late, why not?
you’d said you’d meet the guys at the bar at ten, assuming you’d be finished at nine. but then david had let you go early so you’d gone home to make yourself slightly more presentable. a little power nap couldn’t go wrong. right?
well actually, a lot could go wrong.
you’re only aware that you had dropped off to sleep when a banging at the door jolts you awake. whoever was on the other side sounded frantic, as if they were using their fist to pummel the wood.
you step quickly through the apartment, still disoriented from sleep, only just getting your bearings when you fumble for the lock, opening the door to reveal a worried looking eddie.
‘eddie? wha- what’s going on?’ eyes stinging from the bright hallway lights.
‘jesus chr- you didn’t show up.. i thought something happened,’ sounding relieved, you were confused about what all the fuss was about.
‘i fell asleep,’ realisation setting in, ‘i fell asleep, oh my god.. i’m so sorry,’ your ten minute rest had turned into a two hour long nap, completely missing your meeting time.
your heart pangs with guilt, you’d fucking slept through your first real date and without so much as a text to let him know. he must’ve thought you’d ditched him. or died. he’d definitely thought you’d died.
‘hey.. it’s okay, i just thought something had happened to you,’ giving you a reassuring smile, relieved as you stood in front of him rather than a ditch somewhere, never to be seen again.
‘i am so so sorry.. i didn’t mean to fall asleep i was just resting my eyes i literally lead down for one minute i’m so sorry,’ babbling on, one long run on sentence.
‘it’s okay,’ taking your thrashing hand into his, ‘i promise it’s okay.. okay?’
you exhale, chilling out slightly as his hand clasps yours, ‘i’m basically ready.. we could still go out?’ looking down at your slept-in outfit.
‘do you still wanna go out? you obviously need the sleep.. i don’t mind if you don’t want to,’ fingers rubbing your hands, soothing any possible lingering worries.
‘i- uh, we could just stay in? steve’s not here so..’ shrugging, you weren’t entirely confident that your suggestion had come across the way you’d planned but he nods anyway, smiling as he walks into the apartment.
so you eat pizza in bed, cross-legged with your shitty laptop playing the cheesiest rom-com you could find, much to eddie’s protests, ‘my laptop, my rules.’
but it doesn’t take long and he’s enthralled, eyes glued to the screen while yours stare at him, taking in every detail. the way his eyes crease when he smiles or the soft shadow of stubble across his chin.
‘stop staring at me and watch this stupid movie,’ smirking, not once looking over at you.
your eyes snap to the laptop, cheeks flushing as you’d been caught and rightfully called out for it. finding it hard to even focus on whatever was going on when he was sat mere inches away with that smug look on his face.
‘i was actually looking at.. your hair,’ nodding to yourself, satisfied with your excuse.
‘my hair? what about my hair?’ turning his attention to you who was now pretending to be thoroughly interested in the movie.
‘watch the stupid movie,’ you smile, throwing his own line back at him.
‘no,’ he snaps back quickly, ‘tell me what’s wrong with my hair?’ nudging your arm with his elbow.
you slowly slide your gaze to him, ‘you really wanna know?’
‘i really wanna know.’
‘it’s..’ mouth opening and closing like a fish, finding something to say, ‘curly,’ pleased with your bullshit answer.
his face contorts into pure confusion, before bursting into laughter, ‘shut up,’ lunging over to you, pushing you backwards onto the mattress, moving on top of your body.
your heart pounding a million miles an hour as his face lingers above yours, ‘you can stare at me for as long as you like,’ gaze lowering to your lips, his muscular arms either side of your face, enveloping you in.
you cut the tension first, reaching up to connect your lips, legs instinctively opening to welcome him between them. hands snaking up his arms and coming to rest on his shoulders.
you shudder when his rough hand crawls underneath your shirt, sliding up your waist until it meets your bra. he pulls back just enough to keep your lips lazily connected, looking for permission to touch you properly.
‘i don’t- i haven’t.. in a while,’ nervously gripping onto his shirt, afraid he might laugh at you for being such a shy prude.
‘okay,’ nodding, pressing tender kisses to your lips and jaw, ‘can i?’ hand still lingering just underneath your bra, itching to move up just an inch.
‘mhmm,’ rolling your head back when his lips find their way to the sensitive skin of your neck, finally gripping onto your boob from over the bra.
nibbling and sucking at the nape of your neck, pulling the lacy bra down exposing your nipple to the cold air of your room. you exhale sharply, not quite expecting the sensation of his thumb messing around with your already hard nipple.
‘i want to..’ dotting kisses down to your chest, ‘..make you feel good,’ face lowering from yours, leaving a trail of kisses on your stomach, still palming your breast on the way down.
you can’t respond, words caught in your throat as your melt into his touch, putty in his hands as his lips stop just below your bellow button, looking up for some confirmation to carry on.
‘do you want me to?’ sliding his palm down to the waistband of your jeans.
you nod hurriedly, ‘yeah.. yes,’ peering down to watch him smirk, hooking his fingers into the elastic and pulling the denim down at an excruciatingly slow pace.
your eyes fly to the ceiling, not wanting to watch as he pulls your jeans off fully, missing the excitable look on his face when he sees the lacy panties you’d worn. already sodden from his pitiful touch, embarrassed by your excitement, you squeeze your eyes shut.
the panties are next to removed and you can hear him shuffle around, placing your thighs on his shoulders as arms wrap around them, holding you in place.
‘you just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?’ he mumbles, planting gentle, teasing kisses to the inside of your thigh.
‘mmm,’ you hum in response, aching for him to just touch you already.
his tongue travels between your folds, causing your thighs to clench together, essentially trapping him between your legs. this is all the encouragement he needs, repeating the action, fingers making indentations in your skin.
‘you’re.. huh,’ circling his tongue around your clit, finding the perfect spot to have you clinging onto the bedsheets, ‘soaked,’ middle and index finger leaving your thigh to tease your hole, edging their way in.
your whimpers are music to his ears, relishing in the high pitched wail he pulls from you the second his fingers enter. tongue still lapping at your clit, moving in the most unholy manner.
‘holy shit,’ you whine when his fingers curl up inside, pumping in and out painfully slow. balling the cotton sheet in your fist, desperately trying to ground yourself.
he’s relentless, swirling his tongue up and down your folds, paying particular attention to your clit and the way your thighs tightened around his head when he found the sweet, spongy spot inside.
your eyes rolling back into your head at your impending orgasm, pleasure coursing through your stomach, unable to find the words to warn him of what was coming.
he knows when your thighs begin to shake and you clench around his fingers, grinning into your pussy as the most unholy sound escapes your lips, echoing through the tall room.
eddie emerges from between your legs, satisfied with himself, finger tips still digging into the pliant skin of your thighs. watching dutifully as writhe, the evidence of you all over his lips as the glisten in the dim light.
‘you good?’ he asks, carefully pushing himself up to perch above you, leaning on one elbow.
you nod, still trying to get your bearings from the earth-shattering orgasm he’d just given you. blinking up at him when you eventually come back to this earth, his eyes full of lust and wanting.
‘i am happy to do that anytime.. by the way,’ a deep chuckle erupting from his throat, hand coming up to brush the sticky hair from your forehead.
you could feel him in between your bodies, sort of taken aback that he hadn’t even done that for his pleasure, but yours.
‘please,’ you whisper bashfully, suddenly coy before the man who was just between your legs.
‘gladly,’ smiling as your lips connect, the taste of you all over his mouth. it was probably the filthiest thing you’d ever done, but you enjoyed it, hell, you were proud of it.
-
you’re sweating bullets on the subway, clinging onto the bag on your shoulder. it’d be the first time you were staying at eddie’s house, solidifying that this wasn’t just a casual, situational thing.
it wasn’t like you’d never shared a bed or even been intimate for christ’s sake. staying at his place just sorta felt like the next step to being something else.
you’re almost trembling when you lift your hand to knock, checking that you’d got the right place for the fourth time.
when the door opens you’re relieved to see eddie on the other side, already grinning and rushing you inside, taking your bag from your clutch.
it was nothing like you’d imagined, slightly cluttered but with much more character than yours and steve’s apartment had. he’d made it his home, even with a roommate.
‘d’you find it alright? feels weird seeing you here,’ chuckling awkwardly, watching as you glance around the room, noticing the guitar leant up against the wall.
‘yeah.. sorry, you play?’ surprised that you didn’t know this about him, shocked that he had never bought it up.
‘ahh.. yeah, used to be in a band,’ his hand rubbing on the back of his neck, all bashful. you loved it, normally so confident and assured in himself that seeing him practically shrink in front of you was so alien.
‘and you didn’t tell me? i thought we were friends,’ it sounds weird to say but technically it was true, not entirely sure where you stood in terms of your relationship status.
‘we’re friends? did i just get friendzoned?’ his lips curling into a smile, the confident eddie rushing back.
‘well,’ you struggle with words, ‘as far as i’m aware.. we’re just friends,’ hoping that it didn’t seem like you were deliberately dropping hints. even though you totally were.
he saunters closer, ‘what’re you saying?’ smile growing, leering down at you with those sickening eyes.
you shake your head, unable to contain your own grin, ‘nothin’,’ craning your head up to look at him properly, the creases by his eyes only increasing.
‘hmm.. kinda seems like you were,’ teasing in the way he spoke, words dripping with sarcasm.
‘okay, so we’re not friends.. what are we then?’
‘well, you could be my girlfriend? does that sound better?’ his hand hovering over your waist, not wanting to preemptively celebrate in case he had got this completely wrong.
‘sounds perfect to me,’ fully grinning as one hand clamps down onto your waist, the other tenderly caressing your jaw, pulling your jaw up towards him.
you can feel the warmth of his breath on your forehead as he exhales, ‘thank god you said yes,’ the cold of the ring on his thumb tracing along your jawbone.
you chuckle quietly, ‘don’t be silly,’ pressing your lips to his in a soft kiss, arms coming up to snake around his neck, keeping him as close as can be.
your boyfriend.
-
eddie had gone to take a shower, leaving you in his bed, in his shirt, grinning away like a mad woman. it’s nauseating how happy you were, stomach bubbling with excitement and slight nervousness.
rolling over to grab your phone from the nightstand, your stomach dropping the second the screen lights up.
five missed calls from mom
two new voicemails
you sit up against the headboard, dialling the voicemail box, already imagining a hundred and one horrible things that may have happened.
hey baby, i uh, i tried to call you but i couldn’t get through.. ross is in the hospital, we’re not sure what it is yet.. please call me when you get this, okay love you
her worried tone sets alarm bells ringing immediately. your little brother had been sick the past couple of weeks, just the flu she’d said.
you don’t even listen to the next voicemail, hopping out of bed while you ring her number directly. the dial tone pissing you off as it rings and rings.
‘hello?’ you rush down the phone the second it connects, trying to shimmy into your jeans one handed.
‘oh my god,’ she breathes down the phone, ‘baby are you okay? i couldn’t get ahold of you.. we’re still waiting on results,’ your mom sighs shakily, you can hear the faint beeping of the hospital in the background.
‘i’m coming home, i-i’ll get the train or something.. wha-what’s wrong with him?’
eddie appears from the bathroom, towel draped around his waist, obviously alarmed by your distressed tone and holding his hand out for you to balance on as you wriggle into your jeans.
‘we’re not sure.. one of the nurses thinks it could be pneumonia, they’re doing some blood work.. how long will it take to get back?’
you weren’t even sure if there were trains at this time of night. maybe you could a bus? or a couple of buses? it was already the best part of an hour to drive, that’s without relying on public transport.
‘i don’t know.. there might be a train, uh- shit,’ rushing around eddie’s room searching for your shoes, ‘i’ll be there as soon as i can, okay? i’ll think of something,’ sliding your feet into your dirty old sneakers.
‘okay baby.. i love you, text me when you know, okay?’
‘okay.. okay, i love you too,’ you mutter into the phone, sliding it into your pocket and looking frantically around the room for your jacket.
‘what’s going on?’ eddie asks, still none the wiser and now dripping water onto the carpet.
‘my brother’s in the hospital.. i need to go home,’ voice shaking, becoming increasingly frustrated at your missing jacket.
‘i’ll drive you,’ he says without hesitation, springing into action.
‘it’s like an hour- i was, i can get the train,’ you rush, watching as he gets changed, a million times calmer than you were.
‘no, i’ll drive.. there’s no trains at this time,’ retrieving a new shirt from the drawer, patting his jeans for his keys.
it’s only then that you stop, everything hitting you all at once. completely overwhelmed by his selflessness and the calming nature he was exuding even in such an intense situation.
the tears spill over onto your cheeks and he’s immediately pulling you into his chest, arms encasing your shaking body as you sob into his clean shirt.
‘hey.. it’s okay, he’s okay.. you’re okay,’ large hand rubbing circles on your back, soothing you as you attempt to catch your breath.
you nod into his chest, collecting yourself just enough to pull away, anxious to get there and see your little brother.
‘i know,’ you babble, not believing the words coming out of your mouth, ‘are you sure? i’m sure there’s a bus..’
‘i’m sure,’ he nods, ‘you ready?’
‘mhm,’ you squeak, ‘my jacket..’ looking around aimlessly.
but he already knows where it is, obviously. grabbing the leather jacket and swinging it over your shoulders as he leads the way out of the door and to his van.
-
the journey is awful. your mind racing over every single possibility. guilt making your stomach churn, feeling as selfish as ever because you weren’t there when they needed you.
eddie’s hand creeps over to rest on your knee and it helps for a moment, knowing that he was there even in your self-loathing, pathetic state.
he most definitely broke a number of laws getting to the hospital but you couldn’t care less. screeching into the parking lot and into a space. you barely give him time to turn the engine off before jumping out and speeding into the hospital.
the lady at the desk is as helpful as possible, directing you to the intensive care unit with some vague directions.
you make it there eventually, eddie trailing behind as you ask another doctor where they were. he takes you to a room on the corner, opening the door to reveal your mom curled up on the chair and your frail looking brother asleep in the bed.
she looks up, relief washing over her face as you step into the room, bounding over to her and pulling her into a tight hug. squeezing your eyes shut so to not let the tears fall.
she smelt like home. like all the comforts you’d missed in the city. warmth and peace.
her hands clutch your shoulders, pulling you apart, ‘he’s okay.. he’s okay, it’s a bad bout of pneumonia but he’s okay,’ smiling ever-so-slightly, ‘we’re just waiting for him to wake up now.’
you can feel the air expel from your lungs, you weren’t even aware that you’d been holding your breath until it all came out.
‘oh my god,’ you sigh, pulling her back into your arms, ‘he’s not gonna die..’ really only saying it to confirm it yourself.
she chuckles tearfully, ‘no baby..’ her eyes move to eddie who was lingering by the door, pulling away once again, ‘sorry.. who’s this?’ completely bewildered by the long haired stranger stood before her.
‘oh uh, this is eddie, my.. boyfriend,’ watching as he offers his hand out for her to shake, ‘he drove me here,’ smiling at the sight of them even interacting.
‘hello.. eddie,’ shaking his hand before glancing back at your shirt, ‘..boyfriend,’ she utters to herself. you could decipher the exact look in her eye and will most definitely collar you later for not telling her about him.
he gives her a tiny, tight lipped smile, he’d never have imagined meeting your mom tonight but here we are.
you take her attention back before she can probe him, ‘have you eaten? why don’t you go and get some sleep and we can wait until he wakes up? i’ll call you as soon as he does.’
she pauses before nodding once, ‘yeah.. yeah,’ narrowing her eyes, ‘the minute he wakes up, okay?’ squeezing your arm, affirming that she was just so grateful for you being here.
she collects her things, reiterating that her phone will be on loudspeaker and you must call as soon as his eyes open. she’d be back at seven if you hadn’t called.
giving eddie another polite smile and a quick thank you before leaving. she’d looked exhausted and slightly dazed, probably thankful now that you were here to watch over ross.
‘sorry ‘bout my mom..’ you smile, ‘you don’t have to stay.. if you need to get back, i’ll be okay,’ he’d already done so much for you, asking him to stay would be too much. even if you were dreading being here all on your own.
‘i’m staying, as long as that’s alright with you?’ cocking his eyebrow, taking a seat on the uncomfortable, brown hospital chairs, settling in for what was going to be a long night.
you nod quickly, ‘of course,’ choosing to perch on the side of your brothers bed, trying your hardest to swallow the growing lump in your throat.
he looked sick. pale and sweaty with tubes coming out of every part of him. it didn’t matter though. he was going to be okay.
-
your head rests on eddie’s lap, his fingers playing with your hair as you doze in and out of sleep. too anxious to properly rest. the nose of the machines doing you no favours.
‘shit,’ you exclaim, your other responsibilities had just dawned on you. it was deadline day and your final column was stuck, wedged in a bag on eddie’s bedroom floor.
‘hmm?’ he hums, shuffling as you’d startled him from his daze.
‘my column..’ you shake your head, it didn’t matter, not really. not when your brother was still stuck in here, god knows how many tubes coming out of his body.
‘what about it?’
you exhale softly, temple brushing against the rough denim of his jeans, ‘it’s due today.. it doesn’t matter,’ shrugging, accepting the loss.
‘when?’ he asks, fingers still weaving through your hair.
‘at five,’ the columnist position disappearing from in front of your eyes, ‘it’s okay.. i’m sure there’ll be another job.. somewhere,’ trying to hide the disappointment in your voice.
frankly, you’d be lucky if you had a job at this point. simmon’s wouldn’t keep you on if you didn’t turn up tomorrow night and the internship had finished.
‘have you finished it?’ adjusting in the seat, tilting your head up towards him.
you nod, swallowing as you’re sure you can guess what he’s going to say next. there’s not a chance you’d let him drive back just to hand in your stupid column.
‘i’ll take it, you just gotta tell me what and where to go,’ lips twitching into a soft smile, massaging your cheek with his thumb.
‘no, i can’t ask you to do that,’ jutting your bottom lip out.
‘you didn’t, i offered.. it’s different.’
you pause, stomach fluttering and all you can do it nod. brain turning to mush as his eyes study your face, the slight curve of his pretty pink lips was entrancing. snapping back to reality when you remembered where you were.
‘i’ll go when your mom comes back, yeah?’
‘if you’re sure.. it’s in my bag in your room, i can text you the address.. you really don’t have to,’ blinking up at him, astounded by his kindness, the pure calmness he exudes.
‘shut up, i want to,’ reassuring you with a smile, brushing the hair off of your forehead.
he goes the second your mom turns up, looking slightly more like herself, giving him a small appreciative hug for staying with you all night.
the inevitable grilling is cut short when ross opens his eyes, coughing and spluttering as he comes to. both of you rushing to his bedside, being ever so gentle to not hurt his already fragile body.
he’s still sleepy, but so grateful to see you at his side. you swear to yourself, and to him to not ever be away from him for so long again. your heart wrenching at his weak smile, clinging to his cold fingers and reaffirming a million times that you were here.
-
you’re milling around the bright, sterile room. waiting for the nurse to administer the next round of drugs when your phone rings, startling you.
it’s eddie. stepping out of the room into the silent hallway and answering.
‘hello?’ smiling to yourself the second you hear his voice.
‘hey.. did you do it?’
‘yup, all handed in.. she said something about an email? i don’t really know.. but yeah, it’s in,’ you can hear the slam of his van door.
breathing a sigh of relief knowing that maybe all hadn’t been lost, ‘thank you.. thank you so much.’
‘i spoke to.. fuck, i think his name was david? he said to take the week off and he hopes your brother’s okay.’
‘you went to simmon’s? eddie i- you didn’t have to.. thank you,’ your heart bursting through your chest, you weren’t sure that anyone had ever cared about you this much.
‘now.. i’ve got you some clothes, d’you want me to bring them now or i can come later?’ his jury’s jangling in the background.
you want to tell him no, to stop being so kind, to stop making your heart swell with every word, every thoughtful action. but you can’t, instead nodding enthusiastically though he couldn’t see you.
‘you can come now.. thank you, i owe you my life,’ listening to the engine turn on, already on his way back to you.
‘you owe me nothin’.. i’ll be about an hour, okay?’
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lotties-ashwagandha · 1 year ago
Text
CHRISTMAS WITH THE YELLOWJACKETS (headcanons)
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SHAUNA
will forget to wrap your gifts until the very last minute and then spends hours wrapping , chugs a whole pot of coffee in preparation as if she bleeds espresso
her gifts are very thoughtful tho she gives the best christmas presents. shes perceptive to things you like and want, even if you don’t tell her she’ll notice if you’re eyeing something in a store while you’re out and will get it for you when you’re not looking
she can’t be fucked w christmas cookies though she’ll buy some at the store and plate them up all pretty and tell everyone she made them herself
anyway. she is passionate about the christmas tree (why does that sound dirty?) she needs the ornaments to be all in the right place and the lights to be equally distributed or else everything’s coming off and she’s putting it back on the right way
LOTTIE
NEEDS the entire wellness center to be decorated or else her seasonal depression makes her want to be chasing bitches through the woods with knives (again)
from the 5 exact same fics in the lottie tag i think we’ve all established that she can’t bake cookies even though she tries exceedingly hard
she buys all the seasonal coffee creamers that are all the fucked flavors , you’ll get in the fridge and be faced with “gingerbread candy cane sugar cookie mcgriddle subway sandwich taissa’s fresh farmed dirt” flavored coffee creamer
i can also see her getting hyperfixated on those “christmas baking championship” series , you don’t watch the show but you know everyone who’s eliminated each week by name
TAISSA
prepares a whole pot of dirt for the two of you
“I got this bucket of dirt from outside the boxing gym, it really packs a punch”
i’ll never not make fun of this bitch for eating dirt I’m sorry
anyway she probably hides your christmas presents but forgets where she hides them and then she has a little easter egg hunt for everything she bought you
you’ll be doing spring cleaning a few months later and be like oh my god look at _____ i told you i wanted this for christmas have you been hiding it???? and she’s like oh
she also has the BEST christmas songs playlist , possibly even better than van’s
VAN
if she buys you clothes they’ll be thrifted and she has this whole thing about how she doesn’t support fast fashion and at this point you’ve stopped asking for clothes bc girl keeps giving you dusty ass 60s shit and not the good kind
has old copies of all the good vintage christmas movies tho and you have movie nights with popcorn and blankets
she has a favorite peppermint scented candle that she always lights when you’re doing something christmassy, baking cookies or watching movies or whatever it may be
decorates the shop for christmas ‼️ and you help her and it’s absolutely gorgeous , she plays christmas carols all day during work
NATALIE
will probably buy you some rlly expensive alcohol tbh and you guys party like hell for christmas
will also get you something sentimental tho and act like it’s nothing when it’s everything
she’d be less into christmas than you but would be down to use it as an occasion to get lit, give you gifts, and tell you she loves you
and sex . just saying
MISTY
now LISTEN this girl goes all out
caligula has a miniature christmas tree in his cage and she reads the christmas carol to him every year
she really enjoys those little 5-7 minute vintage disney christmas shorts and will make you watch them with her because she thinks they’re so cute and funny
chip and dale reminds her of her and nat
she’s obviously chip in her mind and nat is dale
anyway
she’ll also hand make your presents, not all of them but I can definitely see her crocheting you something or smthn like that
in any case I’m going to bed my loves im exhausted and writing this before christmas bc i probably wont be active on christmas but MERRY CHRISTMAS i hope you all enjoy the holidays, thank you for reading and supporting <3
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thatstoomanysausages · 6 months ago
Note
is Scott in your funky life thing (can’t spell sorry)
He is not! But not for long‼️‼️💥💥
GAY RIGHTS🏳️‍🌈‼️‼️‼️😭😭(Tomodachi Life)
- CuteGuy has been changed to Ariana Griande just because of how feminine I made CuteGuy😭, bear with, I’ll make CG again)
- As always I have short term memory loss and I forget if I have said this but: Lizzie and Pearl are besties
- I feel like I’ve said it before
- Getting Deja vu
- Just let it happen
- Grian: “It feels like I’ve known Joe all my life” The duo I never knew I needed
- Cuteguy has a fucking incredible poker face btw
- Iscared a fart out of BigB
- I gave Etho a ballet manual and now he is spinning in pirouettes around the room😭
- Tango is dreaming about being seaweed… good for him ig😀
- I got fried seafood as a gift😭
- Tango told me to go to Pearl cause she had a story to tell me and she’s saying FUCK ALL😭😭
- All men do is lie
- Joe and Ella (Pearl and Ren’s child) are friends ‼️‼️‼️‼️ COOL UNCLE VIBES‼️
- Martyn did an impression of Timmy and he just sounded the same but I can’t tell if the impression was shit or I made them have the same voice😭😭
- Joel wants to take Jimmy on a date oh my god😭😭
- The beach for sure😍
- HotGuy and Poultry man have had a fight guys
- I gave HG crisps and he calmed down instantly 😭😭 me
- Okay they made up
- That was rlly anticlimactic ‼️
- Joel and Jim are on the beach while they are both wearing dresses, one of which being a maid dress😭😭😭 PLEASE
- So… did a a judgement bay thing which is basically “choose a side”
- I drew a dick and vag on each side
- 16:4 (dick wins)
- Here are some honourable mentions:
- For dick:
- Etho: A kid would definitely choose this (😨 I mean… he’s not wrong😭)
- Tango: I went on my instinct (okay… go king..?)
- HotGuy: this is basically the only choice (gay rights‼️‼️ bisexual allegations destroyed in one fell swoop)
- Jimmy: This choice just feels right (I wanna say a slur rn…😟)
- Martyn: It makes the most sense (to you babes… to you)
- Grian: This is okay, isn’t it? (The internalised homophobia is crazy😭 (so real))
- Ariana Griande: There’s more than one correct answer (BISEXUAL QUEEN😍😍😍)
- And for the vag side (the correct one):
- Skizz: This one! My reasons are secret (my first day at high school, I hope no one notices I’m straight!!🥺🥺)
- Joel: A kid would definitely choose this (Pls Joel not you too😭😭)
- Lizzie: This one is so grown up (real! Liking vag is a very maturing experience😍😍😍😍 (I’m aroace))
- Okay, now: 3rd Life vs Last Life vs Double Life vs Limited Life
- 4:2:9:5‼️
- Mumbo (3rd): To tell the truth, I have no idea (yh cause you weren’t there babes😭)
- Grian (Double): This is basically the only choice (Yeah okay😭 Gayass)
- Scar (Double): Unbelievably, it’s a good choice (why both of you😭)
- Impulse (Double): I was under pressure to go here (😭HAHA)
- Pearl (Limited): A noice wouldn’t know to go to this one (SO TRUE‼️ LIMITED LIFE🔛🔝‼️)
- Did a men vs women vs both vs none
- Both won🩷💜💙 bisexual rights
- And to the surprise of no one, Grian and Scar were in the men’s section😭
- Ren, the only one in none: I was under pressure to go here (okay aroace with a wife king)
- TANGO IS IN LOVE
- WITH JOEEEEEE
- GAY RIGHTTSSSSSS
- yes confess in your flamenco dress
- JOE GHOSTED HIM
- OH MY GOD
- “He didn’t even show up…” ARE YOU FUCKINF SERIOUS😭😭😭😭😭
- HES DEPRESSED
- I’ll hyponise him… yes😍
- It did not work👍😍
- He’s kinda a buzzkill to be around😬
- Anyway
- SCOTT SMAJOR IS HERE‼️‼️‼️
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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 7 months ago
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oooof ask for hozier recs and i shall deliver!! i've been obsessed with him i fear...
my personal rn is probably Too Sweet, but my most played song of 2023 was All Things End. beautifully moving (as in i was sobbing for the entire song the first time i heard it), i just adore the way he describes love.
more personal favorites: Through Me (this song is insane actually!! can't describe it with words.), From Eden (one of the best love songs i've ever heard), Angel of Small Death (soo insanely addictive, his voice in this one ugh) and Movement (soft and beautiful and the very first song of his that I heard). The Eat Your Young EP is a wonder in itself but tbh so is everything else,,,,
now for some specifically sugu coded songs: Through Me and All Things End, Who We Are from his last album (the lyrics... my days the lyrics are so beautiful), Blood Upon the Snow!! (written for God of War Ragnarok, it's so good ??), Almost (Sweet Music) (be still my foolish heart, don't ruin this on me ✊😔)
but like i said, every time i hear a Hozier song it's sugu coded in my head... the lyrics always make sense to me. the way they're always so poetically romantic, yet in many of them there's a lingering pain underneath, wether it's because the love is already gone or because the love is simply way too much for just one heart to handle... i'm not okay.
fun fact, i once fell asleep listening to him and dreamt that it was suguru singing... and you know what it makes so much sense, i'll take it.
this got kinda long i'm sorry :(( anyways i hope you have a great day/night
(perhaps i shall write a lil' sugu thing inspired by too sweet)
NOE !!!! finally getting to this……. thank you so much for the recs!!! 🥺🥺 i appreciate it sm…… putting some of my thoughts under the cut hehe
I LOVE TOO SWEET . SO MUCH. it was the first song of his i listened to and wowwwwwww does it go hard….. so catchy and good and just. augh. IT’S SO SUGUCODED TO ME…. esp depression era sugu….. the lyrics are just gorgeous and so him. “but while in this world // i think i’ll take my whiskey neat // my coffee black and my bed at three // you’re too sweet for me”…. :’3 my baby
FROM EDEN IS SUCH A BOP . i loveee the instrumental ……. AND THE LYRICS . ”honey you’re familiar like my mirror years ago // idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword” <- BANGERRRR I CRIED . i am thinking many knight sugu thoughts ngl…. “i slithered here from eden just to sit outside your door” THINKING MORE SUGU THOUGHTS but specifically cult leader sugu …. aughhh 😔😔
angel of small death & the codeine scene……… tell me why this one made me so insane . such a tasty title and instrumental and lyrics i’m just????? i feel this way abt all of these but this one is so sugucoded too 😭 “freshly disowned in some frozen devotion”…. that’s our guy <333
EAT YOUR YOUNG IS SO CRAZY GOOD OUGHH….. i love love loveeee the “seven new ways that you can eat your young” part 😵‍💫😵‍💫 soso addicting. the lyrics are great and his voice is just soooo……. i don’t even know . i’m a little obsessed . “it’s quicker and easier to eat your young”…….. hhhhhhhhHH very sugucoded too ofc . any mention of eating is automatically a sugu reference 🙏
movement is super catchy !!!!! kinda relaxing too…… very soft. i rlly like the chorus :33 gives me waltz vibes…… kinda haunting…….
all things end + through me are soso pretty!!!! goshhhh his voice is nice……. i love the final part of all things end!!! w the synchronized clapping!!!!! so good …. and the lyrics for through me are so tasty . “with each grave, i think of loss // and i can only think of you // and i couldn’t measure it”…….. nomnom
ohhhhhh who we are is so beautiful :(((( his voice sounds so tender ….. i def get the sugu vibes here too!!!!! the feeling of something important slipping through your fingers …. “this phantom life, it sharpens like an image // but it sharpens like a knife” 😵‍💫😵‍💫 vert tasty . very sugu.
I’VE HEARD BLOOD UPON THE SNOW BEFORE BC OF RAGNAROK….. godddd it’s so. chillingly beautiful. the instrumental scratches my brain just right …… and the LYRICS . “too all things housed in her silence // nature offers a violence”….. “the parent forced to eat its young before i grows”…… it’s very . Raw . i like it a lot :3
AND FINALLY….. almost (sweet music). SO GOOD. i adore this instrumental and vibe so much + the lyrics are obv super pretty….. “i laugh like me again — she laughs like you”…… i love how light this one sounds in comparison to some of the other ones!!! a summer song for sure… a lil bittersweet….. and the chorus is literally SO addicting i can’t stand it……. BUT YES THIS ONE IS SO VERY SUGU. NOE. IM TEARING UP 😭😭 “be still my foolish heart // don’t ruin this on me”…. the idea of sugu thinking this…. maybe an au where he slowly recovers after his almost-defection….. or a childhood friends to lovers au…… i dunno. but my brain is spinning. i love him :(((((((
PHEWWW THOSE WERE GOOD . i love his voice sm….. i think my favs out of these options are too sweet, almost (sweet song), from eden and maybeeee angel of sweet death/eat your young…. but they were all super catchy :’3 thank you sm for these recs noe… sugu has invaded my brain
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hotroadkill · 5 months ago
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saw this and wanted to make my own post real quick bc i’ve gotten some questions abt my art before & now that i feel a bit more secure in my style i thought i’d give a few tips to anyone who wanted that :)
first i have to address how the submission is phrased: i'm sorry & i know no one wants to hear this but “keep practicing” is not a platitude that is always going to be the best advice 😭 the real question is:
how do you make practice fun?
1. challenge yourself in a way you find enjoyable/fulfilling :)
i liked doing things like art prompts from inktobers, and to draw comics of the stories i wrote, but mostly the answer for me was “set random number goal, meet random number goal, inject the validation from completed goal directly into my bloodstream, repeat.”
i worked on things kind of systematically, which just made my brain happy; i spent one summer when i was 14 doing nothing but drawing 10 full bodies a day, all with references of course. did the same throughout the fall with hands, then eyes, then expressions, then clothes, etc etc. it always had to be 10 diff angles and positions.
i did a repeat of this 10-drawings-of-10-angles rule throughout quarantine in 2020. failed all my online classes cuz i was drawing 6-10 hours every day and ignoring my homework but still passed the year in the end 💀 i got the idea from yumeii-art; it's been over 7 years since, so idk if i remember right, but she had given a similar rule of thumb as a response to someone's question about drawing without a reference, i think.
is this the Best path? probably not, idk. and it definitely lead to awkward phases where i was much better at drawing bodies than faces, for example — but it worked for me. i liked breaking things down like that, it felt more manageable.
the other number goal was. in 9th grade i saw this post:
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and i was like. y’know what? yeah. i keep feeling bad abt my art, how about i put that feeling on pause until after i’ve filled 14 sketch book. i hope this user knows i owe all my achievements to the phrase “fill 14 sketch book” powering me through years of depression and art block.
so i did fill 14 sketch book!
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i met that goal between ages 14 and 19. obv this doesnt include the doodles on my homework, on other random surfaces, or the ~150 digital artworks i’d done in that time, so maybe it was more like 16 sketch book? but that doesnt matter, i had 14 labeled & organized sketchbooks that were full, and i did feel better about my art by then. this was my anime training montage. this was 90% of my improvement. this was the best art advice i’d ever gotten.
so i guess what made art the most fun to me was numbers? which sounds lame but i guess since i’m competitive & love competing against myself the most, it just worked for me.
comparisons, with 2016 on the left and 2020 on the right:
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(the new sketches are still rough and lack some detail ofc but i have terrible ADHD and always found it hard to sit down and keep working on a sketch once it was “done enough” — for some reason i dont rlly have the same impatience with digital art & have less of a problem completing pieces on my ipad now) (the point is. 14 sketch book level complete. 1000% worth it)
then my 2021-2024 improvement, when i had bought my own ipad and again spent most days drawing instead of doing my schoolwork (i.. did end up failing that first year of uni):
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2. try out different mediums aimlessly!
what i mean is just go ham with some charcoal or whatever you have on hand, without the determination to Make It Good. i can’t say if this helped my actual art get better but what it did do was keep the joy of it alive & i had fun which lead to more practice & therefore improvement. color pencils weirdly were my favorite. hell, my school had us do a project with linoleum printing (is that how u spell it idk) and it gave me months’ worth of art inspo.
i also recently got a gift card for a stationery store and got some nice markers and those also gave me a ton of motivation. markers r good
3. if u do digital art, find ur fave brush; it will be ur familiar ur trusted companion ur lover in a past life
for lineart i mostly use the IGB office pack, favorite ballpoint. you’ll have to buy & download it online tho i think it was like $7? but yea it was worth it. (i did a lot of work with the gesinski ink brush in past years but i think it’s a bit too “sharp” now)
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but also go crazy try them all it’s fun!
4. in my opinion it’s fine to do redraws of ur fave artist’s work now and then — as long as u keep it to urself and dont take credit for it
i’ve had ppl ask to use my art as a ref and my answer is always Not Sure Why You’d Want To Bc It’s Not All That, But Yes Of Course. as u can see most of my 2021 work was redrawing panels of the “gangsta.” manga; it didn’t even end up influencing my style much, my style was already based on all the manga shit i drew at 13, but it was the only thing i was motivated enough to draw at the time, and it was valuable practice.
art teachers still stress that the best reference is to draw from life & yeah thats true maybe but idc sometimes ur just not feeling that! so mix it up, whatever works. obviously respect it if an artist says not to reference their work and don’t only reference ur art from one artist but generally i think it’s harmless.
especially when there’s a specific thing an artist does very well that’s hard to find other examples of; personally i was fighting for my life trying to find how to best translate references of dynamic movement into art of dynamic movement. and i think the bnha mangaka does this wonderfully so i often referenced thise action panels as practice. and i think it helped loosen up my art style. (and… i was extremely ridiculously mentally ill about hawks so that…. contributed…. my fave ask to date is still the person who clocked hawks as my old fave character based purely on how i draw eyes 😭😭)
tracing is a diff conversation and my advice there is it is not actually helpful and it's. idk it feels very Against Artist Code. sometimes, and i havent done it in a couple years, but if a piece REALLY isnt working i've done the thing where u trace the general movement of a pose then go from there but i've never posted completed works where i used that method bc it felt wrong. but yeah that's a separate thing that i don't wanna go too deep into
5. another fun thing that motivated me to practice was doing speedpaints!
if you draw on procreate, it's probably set up automatically already. i don't have the storage to record everything, but when i do have it on, the knowledge that i'll have a speedpaint of the finished piece pushes me to put the last necessary touches on it. (if you'd like to see some of my speedpaints i have a few on my instagram)
some more technical advice:
1. flip your canvas flip your canvas flip your goddamn canvas i KNOW it hurts i KNOW it’s like ripping off a bandaid that’s superglued to ur skin i know but YOU HAVE TO FLIP YOUR CANVAS
(when i didn’t have an ipad i’d do this by taking a picture of the drawing on my phone and flipping the image in the photo app)
IT IS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD AND IM NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT I’VE RAGE QUIT SOME PIECES OVER SEEING THE CANVAS FLIPPED BUT LOOK AT THIS ART BEFORE AND AFTER I’D FLIPPED IT AND FIXED HOW WONKY IT WAS: desaturated so tht the colors dont distract so much
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like it's the BEST and honestly often the ONLY way you're going to catch things that were off/out of proportion/etc. flipping your canvas gives your brain a "new eye" and it's invaluable.
2. until you have color theory figured out…. i honestly depend on adding layers and setting them to color dodge, divide, multiply, overlay, etc…. i am cheating, perhaps, but it works
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3. this is how i draw front-facing noses because it's what a czech woman in an extremely bad mood taught me in a cramped overheated stuffy classroom in germany when i was 12
it was our only meeting but she changed my life. i do not know how common this method is but it's possibly the only thing i can concretely give you a tutorial for. after a few times you won't need to do step 1 anymore
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anddd i think that's all the advice i have that wouldn't be a repeat of every other art advice thing you've seen. i do know it boils down to "keep practicing" but again you won't get around that, and i just hope that concretely showing what's motivated me might help motivate someone else.
as an ending note, please take this sentence that motivated me just as much as the 14 sketch book rule: (via graveweaver, author of the webtoon "i'm the grim reaper")
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rouge-fauna · 4 months ago
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rsd is both common in adhd and autism also disliking self diagnosed people is weird. Not sure if you are aware of this but the dsm-5 is flawed for instance until 2014, professional psychologists and psychiatrists believed adhd couldn’t even be diagnosed if someone had autism and vice versa, psychologists didn’t believe dyscalculia was a thing. There was no need to imply that someone with an official autism and adhd diagnosis was misinformed. I dealt with being called slurs for years, I don’t rlly mind if people nowadays find adhd and autism as a silly fun thing because when I was a kid, I was hated for being autistic and autism was never talked about except in a neg way. The silly memes about it are by autistics themselves. And, it’s a good thing that more people are figuring out traits connected to autism and adhd that psychologists hadn’t figured out yet till recent. Autism or adhd is not a one size fits all, it’s different for everyone that has either, or both a fact that even psychologists will agree with.
[context]
I mean no profession is perfect, I wasn’t diagnosed till I was 20, despite seeing various therapists and stuff since I was 14, so especially psychology as everyone’s brain is different. But I have to base my information from somewhere and I’d rather trust more scholarly sources with years of research and experience, and real people who work in the field, then just any old information on the internet. But anyways, and no shade to self diagnosis either, I’m so happy if people can find some answers and community and stuff like that. What I’m concerned about is what has happened to OCD and ADD and things taken to the point of a stereotype norm, with Autism just becoming anyone who has an obsession with something obscure, ADHD becoming anyone who can’t focus, Anxiety Disorders becoming anyone who’s stressed… etc. And that concern is based on my real life friend telling me about how her friends are scrolling through tik toc and relating to something from some video and diagnosing themselves. And as someone who has been working on my mental health for almost a decade, struggling to get through life, it feels very trivializing for someone to say oh because they like anime they are autistic (that was what one of her friends thought). Or it becoming they are dealing with anxiety and stress they have an anxiety disorder or because they are depressed they have depression. Because anxiety disorder for me means multiple anxiety attacks a week, depression for me means struggling to get out of bed, autism to me means working everyday in professional clothes at the office is torture, adhd to me means trying to do one thing then starting five others and completing none of them or just struggling to stay awake - just some really really broad strokes of things… For someone to say they deal with anxiety when they are just stressed about a test, doesn’t feel very good when I’m trying not to have another anxiety attack… like yes mental illness looks different, the brain is different in everyone and I’m glad we are continuing to grow and build our knowledge. What I worry about is our struggle becoming glossed over, as someone who for almost my entire life has had it invalidated… and like I also said in my statement, it wasn’t really an opinion or take or stance, just an observation I had recently.
It sounds like you’ve had it rough, I’m sorry people have been cruel to you and I’m happy to know that society becoming more open and such has helped you. I can totally see why. For me, on the opposite end, I was told my whole life that I was not enough, that I needed to just get over it, that I just needed to stop being sad or negative, to stop being dramatic… etc I was told it was a failure of me as a person when as it turns out there was actually a lot of factors out of my control the whole time. So that’s where I’m coming from, I think both sides and things can be true. And I am blessed to have been diagnosed in a time when I am not surrounded by cruel kids and when society is becoming more educated in it.
Of course, I want other people to find that same peace, but I also don’t want us to flip the other way and be like well if everyone is autistic then your struggles aren’t real. Hopefully that makes sense. I don’t mean to hate or judge self diagnosis, I’m actually more so encouraging of it, as I have suggested to multiple friends that they should investigate and see if they find it to be true. But I do hope people do due diligence when doing so if that makes sense. And that’s from a place that, again, has seen this happen.
Per usual both things can be true. And of course mental illness looks different in people, I mean I wasn’t diagnosed till I was older and even my doctors disagreed at first, then now I often get people shocked when I tell them. So trust me this is not be trying to say it looks the same by any means.
As far as RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) goes, I talked to the therapists I know about it and none of them heard about it, so as far as I can tell it isn’t a recognized diagnosis. Now that doesn’t mean it isn’t real or the experiences of people claiming RSD aren’t real, that’s more so me saying that to me RSD doesn’t need to be a diagnosis or term because I’m pretty sure a lot of people feel the same way about rejection, especially neurodivergent people who have faced so much. It’s not me saying the struggle isn’t real, I certainly qualify, it’s me saying that it’s more so a symptom of a larger issue and one that doesn’t seem to to me to be extreme or unreasonable if that makes sense. If not, that’s fine I’m no psychologist so I’m not going to argue about it. This is just my perspective and fears. I think there a some good point on either end and like all things it’s complicated.
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roseblxsh · 2 years ago
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helllooo i hope you and your gf are both doing well 💕
hey bestie ! yes thankyou we’re doing fine how’re you?? hope you’re well 💕
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anyoneseenadam · 4 years ago
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Hi! Could you do an azriel x reader where they have a huge argument but it ends with fluff? Thank you!
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pairing: azriel x reader (acotar)
warnings: mentions of self harm and suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, shouting, swearing and a butt ton of angst but with some fluff at end
a/n: this is kinda self indulgent because i’m vvv depressed rn and for some reason angst rlly makes me feel better so i hope u enjoy!! pls comment it rlly means the world <3
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You knew Azriel was stressed. His hands clenched, lips red from excessive chewing, his gaze stormy and sharp words hurting anyone that pried to deep. You knew you should leave him alone and let him finish whatever he needed to do, but it had been a week and while you had noticed he was stressed, he seemed oblivious to your pain.
You had woken up a week ago with a heavy head, your entire body weighing you down, making everything seem too loud and too bright. The first day you had laid in bed all day, barely eating and when Azriel found you hours later he simply presumed you had just taken an early night.
But you couldn’t sleep.
A few days later you were practically withering away. You had barely eaten in days; you couldn’t sleep, and you missed your mate horribly. Every part of you ached as you dragged yourself into the shower, desperate to scrub away the layer of dirt you could feel on your skin. You stood under the scalding water, hands moving on their own accord to wash your skin, your head moving a million miles an hour as your eyes itched from the hot tears that were mixing with the even hotter water.
You leaned a hand against the counter when you got out, your legs shaky and weak from the lack of food you had consumed, you considered just getting back into bed, but you knew you needed help. You had gotten like this before and it always ended in some form of unhealthy coping mechanism, but you had promised Azriel you wouldn’t do that again so you instead you pulled your clothes on again, not bothering to dry your hair and dragged your feet to the kitchen.
When you didn’t find him there you frowned but went about making yourself some toast to quell the nausea brewing in your stomach. With your food you padded through your house but couldn’t find him anywhere, feeling more hot tears spill as you realised he was out.
You knew his job was hard, but your heart ached as you realised he truly hadn’t noticed the change. You sent a pulse down the bond as you sank to the floor in tears, your head heavy and heart numb. You didn’t get any reply, so you tried sending another one, to no avail, almost as if he were waving away your cries for help.
You cried for about fifteen minutes, before standing and going back through to your room, sitting on your bed, and staring at a blemish in the floor as you fiddled with the toy you had kept since you were young. You felt guilty for the thoughts running through your head, never wanting to make Azriel alone but feeling so lost in your own head that all you wanted to do was die, to feel the lightness you vaguely remembered enjoying as a child. You were standing to move to your bathroom, itching for your razor when you heard the front door open, relief flooding through you that he was finally home.
You walked out the room, fiddling with the sleeves of your oversized hoodie as you went to meet him. He was standing in the kitchen, shoulders tight and your heart panged at the sight of him, stressed and tired. You considered turning and leaving him but remembered that he told you to always come to him when your head was being cruel, so you shuffled forward, wrapping your arms around his back, and pressing your face between his shoulder blades, breathing easier as you inhaled him, your heart feeling some form of peace at last.
But he shrugged you off, moving away from you and you felt white hot dread fill you.
“Not right now (y/n), I’m busy.” His voice was cold as he made himself a cup of coffee, not offering you one as he usually would.
“I- I know I just haven’t seen you in a while.” You fought to keep your voice steady, but he didn’t seem to notice or care about the breaks. You felt your breathing getting deeper and your hands were tingling as the panic rose in you.
“That’s because my jobs fucking important!” he shouted and you flinched, tears swarming in your eyes as you wiped your sweating hands on your hoodie, stepping to him.
“But you said I should come to you if-“ he cut you off by slamming his hands down, shoulder hunched and glare furious as he shouted at you.
“Will you just fuck off! I have important shit going on.” You stopped where you were standing as he picked up his mug, storming out the room and slamming the door to his office behind him.
Tears spilled out of your eyes and you stumbled as you sat down, legs and hands going numb as you hyperventilated, the panic attack hitting you full force as you sobbed into your hands, trying to muffle the sounds so you wouldn’t bother Azriel anymore than you already had. You counted your breaths as you dug your nails into your palm, trying to calm yourself down and thankfully, slowly your breathing began to return to normal as you wiped at your eyes.
Of course he didn’t care. No one else does, you don’t deserve him, and you should be thankful that you have someone so good to you. Half your brain was arguing in his favour as the other half protested, but he hurt you, you can’t let him in again, this is what happens when people get to close.
Your head kept arguing with itself as you pulled yourself upright, walking through to your room and climbing under the covers of your bed, crying yourself to sleep, head pounding and somehow heavier than before.
--
You woke up to an empty bed and pounding headache. You dragged yourself out from under the covers and went to receive a glass of water and some painkillers, finding Azriel in the kitchen.
He smiled softly at you when you came in, but you averted your gaze, going to the sink and filling a large glass.
“Would you like a coffee?” he asked, his hand coming to your hip, but you shook your head, pulling out of his grip and clearing your throat as a weighted silence filled the room. “I’m sorry I shouted at you,” he muttered, desperate to get you to look at him again, but you just turned away, muttering a small “it’s okay,” under your breath and leaving.
You walked back to your room and sat down on the bed as you sipped your water and taking two painkillers. Azriel followed you in soon after, guilt gnawing at his insides and he stood quietly and watched as you pulled the jumper you were wearing over your head, pulling on a clean one.
He inhaled sharply as he saw the change in your body, moving closer to you.
“Have you been eating?” he asked, and you closed your eyes, facing away from him and staying silent as you no longer trusted your voice or temper. “Baby, you have to eat.” While he said it in a pleading manner, your brain heard it as angry, thousands of comments pertaining to how worthless you were springing to the forefront of your mind.
“It’s kinda hard to eat when you want to die.” You snapped and Azriel felt a pang go through his heart.
“(y/n). You promised me you would come to me if you felt that way,” he was frustrated, hating himself for getting annoyed at you but angry that you were ignoring him.
You laughed bitterly and you went to the bathroom, scrubbing the old makeup of your face, “I did. Or at least tried to,”
You stormed past him, pulling on a pair of joggers before moving to leave the house, but Azriel caught your arm.
“You haven’t done anything stupid have you?” he asked, worry and guilt filling him as your eyes filled with tears, finally looking at him enough that he could see the dark circles surrounding your hollow eyes, your skin dull and lacking its usual dewy finish.
“Why do you care.” You pulled your arm from his grip, stepping back and creating space between the two of you.
“Because you’re my mate and I need to know that you’re okay.” He tried to move closer again, but you stepped back so he stopped.
“Your mate huh? Then why haven’t I seen you in a fucking week, even though we fucking live together! Why are you only just noticing that I’m struggling!?” each word hit him like a blow and only his decades of training stopped him from bursting into tears, falling to his knees and begging your forgiveness.
“I was struggling so much, I couldn’t leave my bed, I wasn’t eating, I wanted to kill myself and as soon as I tried to reach out for help you shut me down.” You head was bowed, tears flowing freely as you sobbed into your hand.
He stepped closer his arms wrapping around you as you sobbed into his chest, “I’m sorry baby, I’m so, so sorry,” he kissed your head, his heart cracking at your next muffled words.
“You only care now because you feel bad. I don’t need your sympathy.”
“No baby, I’m sorry. I care so much I was just tired and stressed last night and I know that’s not an excuse, but you have to know how much I care about you. I love you so much and I need you to be okay.” He tightened his arms around you, bringing the two of you to kneel on the floor.
“I’m not okay Az,” you muttered, and his chest tightened as he stroked your back, allowing you to cry for as long as you needed.
“I know baby, but it’s okay. We’ll get through this, together.” He kissed your forehead lightly and you tilted your head to look at him, eyes wide and glassy with tears. He kissed one of the tears that was slowly trailing down your face away and you sniffed, before he kissed you lightly. He picked you up and carried you over to the bed, the two of you lying down together, tucked safely into his arms as he whispered sweet nothings and apologies to you as you fell asleep. Tears drying on their own.
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kuroos-moon · 4 years ago
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『  Mistaken Kisses 』
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a/n: i really suck at reading word per word huh, my eyes kinda missed accidentally 🤠✨ anon i apologize for being trash pls i’ll make it up to you anytime 😭 
part two | atsumu, sakusa, kenma
pairings: oikawa x reader, tsukishima x reader, sugawara x reader, kuroo x reader
warning/s: slight angst (for all except Suga), language
☾ Oikawa Tooru
unbelievable 
leaving the gym late at night and the first thing he sees is you being kissed by someone else
short-circuits, wanting to lash out and sink into the abyss out of depression at the same time 
it’s the ultimate heartbreak for him rlly and it manifests into ugly annoyance and anger
He watches you push him off, his hand twitching to slap the guy in the face as hard as he serves. “Kunimi-kun, can you hand me that ball over there,” he says, his junior quick to follow his demand at the rare occurrence of his serious demeanor. 
One minute you’re cursing at the person and the next he’s on the ground, groaning in pain with a bloodied nose, the volleyball now bouncing off somewhere. You look to the source and freeze when you see your frowning boyfriend who looked so disappointed in you. 
He only walks off as if he hadn’t seen anything, with you practically jogging in long strides to catch up with him. 
“Toru, I know how you must feel but I didn’t want it either!” You try to reason with him but he pretends to not hear, tightening his grip on his bag as he continues to walk away. 
You grab him by his wrist making him stop to look at you, “oh, y/n-chan didn’t see you there! Why’re you here, did you finish so soon with your other guy?” His smile doesn’t fool anyone at all with his eyes cold and piercing. 
“You saw how I pushed him away! He kissed me out of nowhere,” tears start to gloss your eyes, normally it would stop him from acting childish when you guys fought before but right now, he simply can’t shake off the feeling of betrayal. 
He scoffs, “how would you feel if I have other girls kiss me?” 
You glare at him, knowing fully well how childish and immature he could be but this was a tad bit too much. “I wouldn’t like it all! But I didn’t let him kiss me, you saw so yourself! Don’t be so difficult!” 
“Are we done here?” He spitefully says, withdrawing his arm from your hold. You watch him in disbelief when he actually walks away again, leaving you there.
To your surprise though, he turns on his heel and makes his way over to you with a frown, muttering under his breath and all you hear was “stupid, stupid, baka, everything’s so stupid.”
“Are you alright?” He asks, a small scowl on his lips as he refused to look at you. “I was surprised when he grabbed me, Toru, I really wouldn’t do that to you,” you manage to choke out despite the lump in your throat, and he looks at you in alarm.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” he coos, tucking locks of your hair behind your ears before cupping your face.
“It’s getting late, let’s go home, yeah?” He smiles, before you both walk in the dark streets hand in hand.
☾ Tsukishima Kei
first off, what the actual fuck
he stands still, unconsciously clenching his fists by his sides as he watches you push off the guy
“I’m sorry, I was dared to,” he explains and you hold the look of disgust, frightened when you finally see Tsukishima 
in a heartbeat, the person who kissed you was on the ground, having been kicked by Tsukki out of nowhere 
“Tsukki!” You hiss, going up to his side immediately while he looked down on the guy clutching his side. “Ah, gomen, gomen, did it hurt?” He says with false sincerity, a taunting smirk playing at his lips and you actually fear for what he was going to do next. 
“Tsukki, it’s fine, let’s just go,” you tug on the white shirt he wore, fresh from practice thus the sweat. He momentarily scans your face and he could tell you were frightened and disgusted all at the same time, but what was this bitter feeling he felt? 
Unreasonable jealousy that’s what. 
He sighs before wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he brings you inside the gym, leaving you in the care of Yamaguchi for a while before he exits the gym once more, grabbing the poor kid by the collar. 
“Who gave you the fucking right to kiss my girlfriend?” He sneers in a low chilling voice, scoffing at the terrified expression he wore. “Pathetic,” he tuts before letting him go, deciding it was best to check on you first. 
You’re both in the changing room now, and he had you drink water while he stood shirtless before you. “Next time you should really wait inside,” he tells you, the image burned to the back of his mind that was no good for his temper at all.
“I’m sorry Tsukki,” you guiltily say, looking down at your feet. It actually bothered him so much to have seen you being kissed by someone else, but he knows how none of it was your fault, he really does, that’s why he felt so bad for being slightly irritated at you but he can’t help it. 
“Whatever, let’s go,” he says, finally putting on a shirt and not waiting for you to stand up as he leaves the room first. 
☾ Sugawara Koushi 
this baby’s lit up face as he makes his way over to your classroom contorts to a look of pain once he sees you
before the ache grew he had already assessed the situation though, seeing as how you’d pushed him off cursing
but what the fUck he is anything but chill 
doesn’t really show though as he makes his way over to you, hand resting at the small of your back
You instantly feel safe and secure, looking up to meet his soft eyes on yours, he wanted to reassure you that he understood and that he wasn’t mad at you one bit, it still kinda sucked though. 
“Koushi, he suddenly did it, I don’t know why,” you explain and he strokes your hair, “I know, don’t worry about it,” he smiles. He instantly looks at the pathetic excuse of a guy before you, and the still smiling Suga spooked him out. 
“Why’d you kiss her though, h/n-kun?” He politely asks, and you questioningly look at him, like how is he so calm and like?? not loud?? You’re very much aware how he is when he explodes. 
“I’m sorry man, I just kinda thought she’d like it,” he sheepishly says, avoiding his eyes. You’re both caught in surprise when Suga chuckles, and it almost sounded legit if not for the cold and vicious look pointed at him. 
“Daijoubu, daijoubu,” he says, making his way over to him, and you’re beyond confused when he sticks out his hand, the naive boy stupidly accepting it. 
“You better not come anywhere near her again though,” he warns, his voice dropping low and cold as he looks him straight in the eyes. “I won’t do it again, but we’re classmates so- ow,” he winces. 
You glance down at their hands, noticing how his was obviously being squeezed tight and hard by Suga himself. “I get it, I get it,” he huffs, taking his hand away. “Geez,” he mutters, eyeing Suga darkly before he walks off, and not soon after, he stumbles to the ground because of Suga’s stuck out foot. 
“You didn’t even apologize to her, where are your manners?” He frowns, “dirtbag.” 
Suga took you to an isolated hallway after that, doting on you, and once you’ve assured him you were fine and all, you’re embraced in a warm long hug. “It must’ve pissed you off, Koushi,” you say, guilt behind your voice. 
He merely hums in approval, running his hand up and down your back. “It did, I really really wanted to beat him up but,” he sighs dramatically, and you raise a brow. “I don’t wanna be a bad guy in front of you,” he offers a shy smile. 
☾ Kuroo Tetsuro 
like Oikawa, he would practically stop functioning for a while like what even- what tf in the world is he seeing
he could’t process it, you’d never do that to him but it hurt him so much
quick to catch on that it was without your consent though as you struggled to push him off 
needless to say, i think we all know how Kuroo with his towering height and buffed build could be scary and intimidating
“It was a prank, a harmless prank bro!” He defends, panicked as he was pinned to the locker door behind him with Kuroo clutching on his collar. 
“Harmless?” He repeats with a tone of disdain, and you could practically feel his shiver at Kuroo’s words while you watched their exchange. “Kuroo, please don’t start something,” you touch his arm hesitantly, worried about your teacher’s pet and perfect-deportment boyfriend. 
“I’d never,” he grins sadistically, yanking him before slamming him back to the locker. “Tetsu!” You hiss, trying to pull at him but it did absolutely nothing. “I swear it was just a prank, I planned to kiss any girl- 
“And out of all the girls you decided to kiss mine?” He almost growls, and they both had a resemblance of that of a predator and its prey. “Tetsu, stop it!” You demand, and he does, immediately letting him go and scoffing when he runs away. 
“Calm down,” you hold both his hands in yours, and his dark eyes look at you. He remains quiet, taking you with him as he walks off to the empty volleyball court. 
“Are you mad?” You hesitantly ask, looking at his back as he turned on the lights, “furious,” he shortly answers. He really was fuming mad, no matter how rare he got angry, the incident a while ago was like a stab to the chest for him. 
“I’m sorry,” you mutter, feeling small as you stood still in your spot. He halts his actions though once he hears you, “I wish I could turn back time to avoid him but- 
“Sweetheart I’m not mad at you,” he cuts you off, guilt consuming him as he reflected on his actions a while ago; not once had he asked if you were okay, instead he succumbed to his anger and disregarded how you felt. 
“You’re not?” You ask, looking up at him, and he sighs, “come here,” he opens his arms, and you’re more than happy to rush towards him. “I’m sorry for losing my cool,” he says after you practically threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his torso. 
“I’m sorry you had to see that,” you mumble against his chest, and he clenches his jaw, the mere memory of it making him feel hurt and angered at the same time. “It wasn’t your fault, but it totally sucked, I’ll give you that,” he groans, burying his face in your shoulder. 
“Let’s get you home so you could brush your teeth thrice, and then let’s make out,” he grins. 
________________________________________
General Taglist [Open]: @noyasbitchh​ 
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awhst-alt · 3 years ago
Text
I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL
it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3
so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)
mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)
so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.
so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.
and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.
AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY
so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike
so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that
mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it
so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"
then stella says "i like your painting."
will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"
"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"
"sure"
and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"
so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"
i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS
el says "how's will?"
mike says "idk he didn't call"
"he didn't?"
"no, he didn't"
"okay. well maybe he will call later"
"yeah mb"
"wanna come over"
"ok"
so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit
so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"
and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)
but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)
and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"
"we can by something for will"
"okay yay"
so then they go to starcourt yasss!!
anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"
and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"
"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"
she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN
and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"
she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"
so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch
"hi will"
"hi"
"hru"
"im good"
"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi
but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.
okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD
so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol
so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable
okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"
and she says "what?"
"i'm seeing someone!"
"oh i uh- i didn't know."
the whole cafeteria is staring at them
so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"
"he?"
will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no
"you're gay?"
"i-"
and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him
so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy
so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.
and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA
mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"
so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything
(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)
"i hated it."
"the school?"
"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"
"what?"
"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"
"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles
"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"
"WHAT"
"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"
and mike LAUGHSS
"what? mike? what's wrong?"
"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"
"oh. good. are you mad at me?"
"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"
and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"
so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"
so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"
"you? cursing?"
"yes."
"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"
will just smiles and says "i love you"
and mike says "i love you too"
AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED
ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH
edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol
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inklingofinspiration · 3 years ago
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hello may i have demon slayer match-up
my name is rex, i’m queer and use they/them pronouns and i’m 15. And i would prefer someone not over the age of 19 plz.
have like a caramel colored skin-tone (i feel like saying im black may be easier but 🤷🏽‍♀️) and im 5’3. Rn i have a purple-pink short mullet and i have pretty curly hair, im pretty chubby but i have an hourglass shape (but i have super noticeable hip dips) , i got pretty big fucking tittes (not even in a bragging way, im a fuckin k cup bro😭) and thicc thighs(thicc thighs save lives, sorry i’ll stop). I dress pretty alternative but i cant just choose one subculture tho, i wear a lot of heavy eye makeup. I could say i dress kinda “showy” but thats kinda what only fits me, but also who gives a fuck.
Honestly I don’t really have a type. Tbh most of my relationships have ended pretty badly cause they ether only wanted something sexual from me or I was “too clingy” when i just wanted basic ass affection. But the most I want is someone who is physically affectionate (like kisses, cuddles, and hugs for days) also im ok with pda to an extent like i will hug and like cuddle you but im not gonna make out with your infront of others thats weird af.
Im a libra sun, scropio moon, and gemini rising. This means that im a pretty social person and always wanna hang out with friends and just have fun, but moon in scropio makes my emotions rlly haywire and kinda boosts any sorta negative emotion, which is hard when you have chronic anxiety and major depressive disorder. Which also means i take medication for it, which i forget a lot. And because of these things i have anxiety tics, where it ranges to making noices and twitching a bit to full on hitting myself and saying random shit. But I really like making people laugh, it makes me feel helpful, but im also good at being to mother figure for people. I also like playfully bantering with people, like i love you but will full on roast you and get into fake fist-fights. I am a bit of a violent person at times but I have a punching bag and boxing gloves which help a lot. But I only get that angry when someone uses an insecurity of mine against me or is talking bad about someone i love, cause it you do that im beating your ass. I do have a bit of body insecurities mainly about my hip-dips and stomach. But because im curvy i get hit on by adults a lot and its creepy as fuck.
My hobbies include art (painting, drawing), sleeping (because i stay up mad late😭✌🏽), reading comics, Marvel and D.C superheroes, and super villains, cartoons, and anime/manga.
My favorite music genre’s are rock, alternative, emo, rap, and a little bit if indie music.
Personality: funny, sarcastic, creative, kind, inappropriate and the right times. Like im not gonna pull out a dick joke in front of your family
I don’t really have a type and im queer so i dont have a gender preference, but anyone who’s love language is physical affection cause im a clingy bitch
I have a couple ideal dates. So the first one is like an indoor picnic and a movie, an arcade date, and a stargazing date where you get take out or fast food and drive up a hill to see the stars and you like cuddle n shit.
A/N: I've been wanting to do a KNY matchup, so let's do this. But first, can I just say that you sound like such a stunning person?? (You cannot tell me that you're not, I know I'm right) Your hair must be fucking incredible, I absolutely love mullets, and don't even get me started on how nice and fun of a person you seem to be [/pos]. Your request was a blast to read through, so I was pretty hyped for this matchup and knew off the bat who you would pair well with.
*・⬪・──────・⬪・*・⬪・──────・⬪・*
I'd ship you with. . .
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Inosukue! Honestly, it would be so funny watching the two of you interact at first; when you guys first meet (if I'm reading you correctly), he would be challenging you to some random ass competition off the bat, it doesn't matter where the two of you are. After seeing you kick ass (you can't tell me you wouldn't) during a fight with a few high-level demons, he'd take it as an indirect challenge and there would be no getting out of it. He would probably want to actually fight you, but you'd probably have him on the ground in, like, a minute, so all that would do is make him even more fixated on beating you in something.
For the next few weeks, he will turn everything into a competition, whether it's who can eat their dinner the fastest, who does the best in training (assuming you're not a hashira), etc. You humour him for a bit, maybe even the first two weeks, but after a while, it just gets tiring and even Inosuke needs a break at some point. He'd probably end up stumbling across you painting//drawing after a long day of training at the Butterfly Estate, and would just kinda watch you for a minute. While it’s truly out of character for him to be stunned into silence, just watching you so at peace and makes him wonder how you’re able to switch between your social and robust self to. . . something like the quiet, tranquil ambiance you had about you then.
But once he snaps out of it, he'd march over to you and ask what you were doing, that kind of thing. When you explain that you're just drawing//painting, all your free will of drawing what you want to is over, you get no more of that. He is forcing you to draw him, no matter how much you protest, and after you're done, he's parading around and bragging to EVERYONE that you drew him. To be honest, he wouldn't stop talking about it for the next few days, and if he ever needs a boost in an argument with someone (Zenitsu), he's bringing it up.
"You can't just take my food!" Zenitsu cried, clearly agitated and distraught over the fact that Inosuke had taken over half his meal after he had polished everything else off. Tanjirou had gone off to give Nezuko some food, which had left you in charge of watching over the two to make sure they didn't wreck some ancient hashira heirloom that was left lying around, but not even five minutes after and they were already looking like they were about to start swinging at each other. Inosuke, who barely even looked up from the stolen food before continuing his fervent attempts to eat everything in sight, grunted a low chuckle, clearly only encouraged by the lightning-wielder.
"Why not? You left it sitting there, so I called it," He responded between vigorous bites, the entire scenario only making you watch in flickering bemusement, torn between whether you should intervene or let it continue on. Entertainment while you ate was never something you could complain about, and this was certainly better than any play you could go see; besides, nature had to work it's course somehow, right?
"Rex-chaaannn," Zenitsu whined, his voice instantly gaining a more sugary sweet tone, rather than the course, unchecked one he had used on the boar head just a few moments ago. "Tell Inosuke to give me back my food."
You bit your lip in an attempt to hold back laughter when the accused slayer shouted something from across the table, "Shut up, Monitsu!"
The clearly incorrect pronunciation of his name sent Zenitsu into a fit, shouting practically unintelligible things from how fast he was talking, looking as though he were about ready to jump across the table to try and fight him when you burst into laughter, unable to contain it any longer. Inosuke spared you a brief glance, but the somewhat proud smirk that took residence upon his features as he continued to eat wasn't something that you exactly missed but chose not to point it out.
"I don't think there's much for you to eat now anyways," You finally commented after recovering from your fit of laughter, heaving an amused sigh when Zenitsu let out a noise of dismay.
"You can't keep taking my food, you simpleton!"
"Yeah I can, they drew ME, not you, so that's just another reason that I'm better than you!"
It would just be a love hate relationship between you guys; while you have your playful fights (both verbal banter and physical), you'r always there to back the other up in combat and Inosuke appreciate the support in his own, odd little way. For whatever reason, though, he still feels like he has to prove that he's better than you and insists that he just lets you stick around to give you something to do. When really, it's probably just the other way around.
I get the feeling that you'd probably throw your arm around his shoulders after a successful fight and boast about how you two did more work than Tanjirou and Zenitsu (playfully, obviously). Whenever you do that, it fills him with so much pride and for a second it doesn't register in his head for the first time, like?? 'They're not challenging ME? The hell's this about?' before realizing what you're saying and it only makes him more egotistical. He'd put up a weak front and say something like "Lord Inosuke did most of the work, Krex!" (the incorrect name </3) but wouldn't say much against you aside from that.
When you guys start dating and he gets introduced to physical affection, he gets so confused by what the hell it all means, but secretly enjoys your hugs nevertheless. After the two of you confessed, he would definitely brag about it and hold it over everyone's heads, like he did with the drawing, and it's just beyond humorous at that point.
Inosuke would 100% finally get your name right, and whenever anyone complains that he gets yours and not theirs, his knee-jerk reaction is always to respond with; "Yeah, 'cause they're important". Would cause endless conflict among people, but it's worth it seeing him be so stupid, insulting and caring all at the same time.
He carries you around a lot, especially enjoys giving you piggyback rides or parading around the Butterfly Estate with you hefted up on his shoulders, announcing to everyone that the two of you are "coming through". He will probably show you off a lot, because he just finds you to be such a great person and wants everyone to know that you exist and will be sure that no one cuts you off when you speak!!
He teaches you his breathing technique, change my mind.
As far as your ideal dates go, you're probably the only person who would be able to get him to sit still long enough for that kind of thing, let alone ENJOY it, but he's willing to do whatever makes you happy. (Don't be discouraged by however begrudgingly he may act when following after you to go to them, he's hyped to get to spend time with you) While he has his different ideas of fun, you always manage to persuade him to do that kind of stuff with him, and he'll almost always agree.
*・⬪・──────・⬪・*・⬪・──────・⬪・*
A/N: I hope you enjoyed, this was super fun to write, and I definitely laughed quite a bit when writing it! I'm so sorry if this took a long time, I have six weeks exams, so I was busy studying, but I should be getting to these super soon. Thank you guys all for the requests, matchups are now closed, but will be reopened as soon as I clear out all the ones waiting to be done.
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sloppykyuu · 4 years ago
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im so falling back into my depression bc i was feeling rlly depressed and stressed when school started in quarantine and started getting Fs and Ds because i was locked in w my family and overall felt like i couldnt breathe. i dont have any friends aside from one person however we dont talk unless i initiate it (im now realizing that.)
and now i have 1 A, two Cs, 1 B, and one D, if anything thats improvement and i was happy until my mom got mad at me and isnt proud that i made progress,, so like thats fun ig .
anyways that was an emotion dump,, have to share my thoughts w u cuz i like it whenever u write and expand my thoughts using ur own, imagine giving gojo an aphrodisiac. you'll just pretend to not be in the mood while he is just panting, cheeks flushed, eyes dark and covered in lust, the damn tent in his pants.
he is just putting his hands all over u while trying to get ur pants off begging "pls baby, i really need u rn" 🥺🥺,, so he finally snaps eventually and just literally rips off whatever u are wearing, folds u in half, and goes feral on ur ass. filling u up until ur belly is buldging w his cum (and maybe a baby bc he is muttering and moaning something abt pregnancy) but ur too fucked out to notice bc he just broke ur cervix a while ago when he snapped and just shoved his cock into ur pussy.
and even after like 4 rounds (i know this guy is a pushover during sex) he is still fucking ur fucked out and overstimulated body. probably still would use ur body like a toy long after u pass out tho <3
Im sorry to hear that my love:( I know how horrible it feels to have other people disappointed in you when you felt like you were doing good, and you need to just be proud for yourself. You are doing better! School is tough as it is and being cooped up in your house all the time makes even harder because I was there too and honestly I’m still there, I’m struggling woth school more than I ever have. Im proud you, I’m really fucking proud because that shit is so fucking hard. You’ll find your people I promise (I myself am still searching) but even if you don’t, eork on yourself because in all honesty you’re the most important in your life because this is yours and no one else’s. Just thot I shuld say something sorry if I sound stupid.
His long fingers are attempting to push up under the fabric of your shirt and remove. Trying to slip down the waistband of your shorts and feel at your wet hole. His lips are attached to your neck, sucking bruises and kissing gently.
But he doesn’t understand why you want just give him what he wants, he’s begging you. And slowly losing his patience, with you pushing his hands away from your body and rejecting his adavances, his patience is wearing terribly thin.
Until he takes what he wants, rips off the tiny shorts barely covering your body and spreads your legs wide open for him. He can see how wet you are, so why wouldn’t you give in to him? He’s not sure and honestly he can’t be too bothered by it as he sinks his long cock into the tight hole of your cunt, groaning as he watches you suck him up.
Instiable is an understatement. He’s a fucking beast, knocking right into your poor cervix with each rough thrust of his hips, successfully fucking your brains out that you can’t even feel the snap of your cervix before he fills your womb up with his warm cum.
He’ll fuck you long past you passing out, he doesn’t care if you’re awake or not. He’s just so horny and so hard he needs to see you filled with his cum.
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bellfort3 · 4 years ago
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This is a vent fic i wrote ages ago. I don't have any plans for it, so I'm giving it to you. It's a gift. You can honestly do whatever you want with it. It's completely yours, add to it, read it, delete it, I don't mind. I think you might enjoy it and tbh i just want to be free of it. Its not published anywhere or anything. Uh tw for mildly implied suicidal thoughts.
Wilbur leaned back in his chair, taking a drag of the energy drink on his desk. He was streaming, and it had been nice and chill so far. Some QnA, some GeoGuesser and he'd promised to play a song for chat at the end.
"Thank you BXLBB for the 20," he exclaimed. "BXLBB" he repeated dramatically, and laughed. "Geez, put a vowel in your name dude. Do I plan on doing more chill streams? Yeah probably. We'll have to see how it goes, I'm not really going by too much of a schedule right now." He leaned forward. "Millie X, thank you for the 10. OK, so I think we-"
BRRRRNG!
Wilbur jumped violently in his chair, then giggled slightly. "Oh god that was my phone. I didn't"- he laughed again. "I wasn't expecting that chat, it made me jump. That's going to get clipped, isnt it. Jesus."
BRRRRING!
He looked at the phone screen. TommyInnit calling. Wait. Tommy calling? At 11pm, while  Wilbur was streaming, AND on his phone? With no texts or discord messages first? That was concerning. It was probably just Tommy being an ass, but the anxious part of Wilburs brain said he had to be sure. Ugh, if he was pranking him, he would kill that child. Tommy would just messing around, in which case the moment he started talking, Wil would tell him he was streaming and immedietly hang up on him.
"Oh fuck, it's the FBI," he yelped. He had to play it of as a joke for chat. "They saw how good I am at Geoguesser and now they're all after me. Hold on chat, let me just take this and make sure everything's alright. I'll be right back."
He muted his mic and picked up the call.
"Hullo TommyInnit."
No response.
He turned his volume up. Maybe it had been too low.
If he really strained, he could hear a very faint noise.
Oh fuck.
His anxiety was starting to creep in now.
"Tommy?"
Silence again.
"Tommy, I can't hear you."
More silence.
And then there was a muffled choking noise, and a quiet broken voice said "Hey Will."
For a split-second, Wilbur wondered if someone else had got his number by mistake. He had never in his life heard Tommy sound like that. But it had to be him by the call screen.
"Tommy are you OK?" Thank God he didn't ignore the call, thank god he didn't ignore the call. "Whats going on?"
Another beat of awkward quiet.
"It's nothing," muttered Tommy. "I-I'm sorry for bothering you Wil."
Oh fuck it must be bad. This was the teen who had told him his mother was dying to get him on stream.
"Tommy tell me what's going on."
"I don't- honestly Wilbur it's, I mean- I just-" Tommy stammered. He breathed out slowly and shakily. His voice was getting more watery and unsteady, in a very un-Tommyinnit like way. "I can't- can't seem to do-." He exhaled again and then he blurted out "Wil I want to delete my channel."
"You want to delete your channel?" Wilbur was trying to keep his voice level, but he could hear a tiny bit of incredulity and panic spill through.
Tommy was getting more worked up now. "I'm going to delete it Wil, I'm going to."
"Woah, woah. Don't do anything you'll regret. Where are you?"
"In my room. At my desk."
"OK. Sit on your bed away from the PC. Are your parents home?"
"They've gone out." He could hear a soft SCHMF as Tommy threw himself on the bed.
"So what-why do you want to delete your channel, Tommy?" The question 'what happened?' was clear in his words.
"I hate it Will. I... I don't like, I mean- honestly Wilbur, everything that's on there is shit. What is the point of keeping it up?" Tommy sniffed.
"Tommy..."
"Don't sugarcoat it Wil, I know- I know- I see how things are, you know. And I know I let you down and" Tommy's voice broke. "I'm sorry-I'm sorry, I've fucking failed Wilbur, I've let everyone down, I shouldn't even- I didn't mean to fuck everything up like I have, I dissapointed you-" and then Tommy was really crying, with sobs muffled by his hands and the phone.
Wilbur was stunned. Truly stunned. This was not a prank. Tommy was not OK. Tommy wanted to destroy everything he had worked for. Tommy was crying.
"Tommy," he said softly. "You haven't dissapointed me. Why did you think that?"
"Cos' y'know I-" he sobbed. "You-you like believed, you thought I could do good with my channel and my streams, but it's-" he sobbed again. "All of its so shit, and- and I've thrown away all my chances and I've limited everything and I just think it would be-" Tommy couldn't get the rest out. 
"Tommy, your videos are good. Maybe they're not all amazing, but you worked hard on all of them and they're all enjoyed by people." Wilbur was still reeling. "You don't hate all of them right?"
Tommy, save for crying, didn't reply.
"Right?"
No response.
"Tommy, trust me, you just don't see it now but I don't think your channel is as bad as you think. Did someone say something?"
"No!" Tommy cried, insistently. "No, no, you don't understand, this is just the way it is. Nobody told me, I came to this realisation myself."
"But," Wilbur started. "This realisation of yours is total nonsense Tommy."
Tommy sniffled.
"I don't know. I'm sorry Will."
"Are you doing OK? Is everything alright at school and home?"
"It's fine. Its... Fine."
"You don't think you're, you know, going through something? Are you depressed?" As Wilbur said this a realisation of his own hit him- he was still streaming. Chat was going crazy. He typed in chat: "everything is OK, but I have to end stream now. Sorry everybody. Go send Niki some love." Then he pressed the raid button. And watched the viewers drop.
"Wil I'm not-I don't know," Tommy said. "It would just be easier-well, better for everyone if it was gone. If I was y'know."
'End Stream.' Click. Hopefully the Internet wasn't too rabid. Then Tommy's words caught up with his brain. "Wait, Tommy you don't mean that," he said. "Thats really concerning Tommy. What about Dream and Techno and Tubbo and Schlatt? All these people you-"
"No!" Tommy screamed, immedietly distressed. "No, no, no, no, they don't, I can't-"
"Tommy, Tommy, calm down. It's OK." Tommys breathing filled the space.
"I'm getting Phil."
"No, please don't get Phil, please Wilbur I'm sorry, please Will-" Tommy spluttered frantically.
Wilbur typed a message to Phil with rapid speed, explaining what had happened.
Phil called immedietly, and Wil muted his phone.
"Will, what the fuck is happening? I saw you ended stream early. And you say Tommy's-." Phil was silent for a second. "Oh. Is he OK?"
"I have him on the phone, Phil, please talk to him."
Wilbur unmuted his phone.
"Hiya mate," Phil said softly.
Tommy quietly replied "Hi Phil."
//TW FOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS//
Anon what the actual fuck. I just read this while sitting in ap world and I’m literally like stunned. Anon how-anon-I-
This is rlly rlly rlly good. Like rlly good. It actually made me feel like I was there like I was Wilbur what the fuck this lowkey wrecked me what
Anon I know you have gifted this to me but please. I think it’s amazing and that you should continue with it if you want to. It’s very good.
Please come back and talk to me!! I’m invested in this now
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teacup-baphomet · 4 years ago
Text
G/t Drabble (Crash landed on a hostile planet trope but NOT via the a tiny vulnerable human in a planet of mean powerful alien bigs route)
tw: a bit of censored cursing. Uh. I’m not sure what else. Maybe broaching of sensitive tops such as sexuality and religion. But not really. Mostly it’s just rlly dumb word play/lame humor and a confused alien being confused (and kinda freaked/troubled due to the confusion? you’ll see if you read it i guess). there is some sad lorg boi times. idk. no romantic relationships. just a shaky friendship is forming between a crash-landed big-arse alien (a human! *gasp*  i woulda never guessed something as vile as that o: ) and one of the much smaller, very much not human locals. most want to kill the poor dude who got stuck on this planet of hostile lil guys who think he’s a monster and immediately decide they much off him asap. so like having this one ally is kinda important to him. But it’s hard. because. lots reasons rlly. culture differences. the language tech can only do so much. the size diff creates definite issues because trust is hard in general. and trusting a big being that could easily cause havoc on your planet mostly just cuz he /seems/ nice is not a very good foundation... there is much to learn between the two before they can be truly good frens. so uh good luck to them lol *raises glass* I mean. I don’t think I’ll ever write these two again. but I’m sure they’ll end up good friends. probably.
Anyway without further adieu, here have a disappointment (read: attempt to be creative but i’m kinda lazy tbh and still kinda bitter I can’t draw for more than like 10 minutes before I start spacing out :/ )
"We are called humans or the scientific name is homo sapiens" spoke the large alien, Lyle.
"Homo sapiens? That is rather long, is it not? Why is a "scientific name" even a thing? Why would that be necessary? Scientific name versus what kinda name? Emotional name? Why are these science names two words? Seems annoying. What is wrong with just calling yourselves simply homos? Or something else just as nice and concise. Straight to the point if you will. Probably. I... Uh.. I obviously don't know what exactly is the purpose of a scientific name as i already implied... Sooo..." The much shorter – and much scalier- native being (called Torrynts) awkwardly looked off the side to stare at the plain, blank, siding of their dilapidated, isolated house as if it were the most interesting thing in the entire vicinity. Which it wasn’t of course. There was a f***ing alien 15 times their size only a few them-sized lengths way…
 Lyle gave his new comrade – and only friend on this gawdforsaken planet that mostly wants him dead- th pondering, and possibly ironically, rather colourfully scaled Torrynt by the name of Kyvlar a bemused look, bordering on coy.
"Huh. 'Straight' to the point you say?" He paused with a small snort. "Well, my not-so-statuesque friend, do I got news for you~"
Kyvlar suddenly blanched, giving a Lyle a look that was like a knife to the heart while blurting out. "Wait, wait, wait! Hold up! We? There are more than one of you? Here? On this planet? Were you just a distraction the whole time. Oh... Oh no.... Have we really been victim a secret homo invasion this whole time! I-"
 Their panicked monologue was interrupted by a most horrendous noise. Like a slowly dying tornado with the hiccups or something.
"STOP. Stop I-I can't. I can't. This is too much much!" Spoke Lyle with his hand covering the bottom half of his  and his eyes scrunched shut.
 'Welp,' thought the Torrynt, 'This is the end. This is when I die. I should have known better than to immediately put my trust in such an enormous obviously dangerous specimen. Ho-'
 Kyvlar’s dramatic internal speech was interrupted when the alien surprised them by uncovering the his face, revealing a huge grin. ‘They weren't upset? Huh?’ The Torrynt blinked owlishly at the human in confusion.
 "Sh*t, bite-size (Kyvlar noticeably paled at the impromptu nickname not 100% the foreign joking tone, well it would have been noticeable to someone their size at least), I know you don't mean to, context-wise, but you reminded me of my great aunt Karen when my Uncle Todd and Uncle Copper decide to have their friends over along with relatives for a gatherin'."
Plastering on a faux distraught look and blatantly mocking tone, he  continue with exaggerated hand gestures. "Oh no, it's the...the...," he paused with snort, "... the homo invasion... No, no, no... Not here... not in this... this good, Christian neighborhood. Aren't just two of them enough? Oh woe is me!" The alien dropped the mocking tone and smirked towards the smaller being. "Heh. Good ol' great aunt Karen could never remember Uncle Todd was Jewish and so was the majority of that neighborhood.... It’s where my Uncle Todd was raised actually…"
 The said smaller being just stared blankly at the homo-no-human they supposed as just “homo” meant something else, they weren’t sure what else, beyond just something else.
 "Uhhm. Wh-what? U-Uhm, so what exactly is “homo” then? And what’s Christian? And Jewish too. What’s that? Are... Are those other types of -uh- intelligent, sentient creatures on your planet? Y-you know, b-beside hom-er-h-humans? Or are these subtypes of humans? What kinda are you? What is a great aunt? or Uncle? Does the great indicate a larger size? Oh gawd, a-aren't you humans b-big enough regularly? Oh... W-wait. O-or are you a great- uhm- great aunt, was it? E-er, g-great something? Ohhh. Zyntall (Torrynt swear). I'm sooo confused r-right now... " The timid tiny being, sighed in frustration before their eyes snapped open wide in a panic, and they did an immediate one-eighty with their behavior, and it was off all their previously trust, as wavering as it was, vanished in an instant, squeaking out a quick "sorry. oh, Z-zyntall... I'm so-so-sooo sorry. I-I hope I d-didn't offend y-you or anyth-thing... p-please, oh please, don't hurt me" while gazing everywhere except towards the much larger alien, hoping desperately the 'bite-size' nickname was just a bad joke...
 Clearly they not only didn't get what so hilarious about the whole thing but also thought he was a monster prone to violence – still. Lyle sighed, all the mirth that was previously in his expression draining out of him leaving him with an uncomfortable grimace on their face. How disappointing... They really wish there was another human here to share in the jesting. But alas, that was not meant to be. At least as far as they knew there was no "homo invasion" in the making. Lyle wasn’t naïve. He knew humans were easy to slip into a gray moral state, at best. The role of villains at worst. And many of his kind would likely take advantage of a planet full of tiny, vulnerable people. Lyle couldn’t help but inwardly cringe at the thought, getting nervous about something that wasn’t an issue. At least now. Currently, human-wise, it was just him on this distant planet. And as far as he knew, no one - well, no other human at least- had any clue where they were. It probably just seemed he simply disappeared. Never to be seen again most likely. Trapped on this random alien planet in scenario that is akin to some sort of a personal hell of sorts.
'Wow. Hello, major depressive episode that’s making me overly dramatic. I haven't seen you since I was - what - eighteen?' thought Lyle regretfully. Calling this planet a personal hell was probably a bit over the top. But still, he couldn’t even seem to keep the trust of his single native ally. It only adds to his feelings of lonely isolation. And he feared his lonely angst will only get worse and worse. But only time will tell.
Giving a small sigh, he mentally prepped himself to try and get back his small friend’s trust. At least he was able to laugh for a wee bit earlier. It had been so long since he had done such. It was nice. Hopefully next time it will not lead to a backtracking in his attempted friendly ships with an open local, or even worse, a hostile local. The little laser guns that native being had stung like a b*tch. It reminded him when he got bit a couple times by some fire ants during a vacation as a child.
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So yeah these were rando improvised characters made on the spot.
But Lyle is a guy (he/him. He’d be chill with they/them too)
And Kyvlar is… a Torrynt. So like they/them I guess. Torrynts don’t have genders. Like at all. I guess they hermaphroditic (intersex if talking by human terms but not really as they are capable of reproduction and they aren’t human so… I dunno… Not even sure if hermaphrodite is a useful term. As idk if hermaphroditic animals, in nature, are capable of reproduction… I don’t think so? But I’m not sure tbh…). There is no variants like there are with human “sex”. And male/female concepts are 200+% foreign to these wee reptile-like aliens (albeit warm-blooded minded, so perhaps more draconian than reptilian idk. Also aliens being described as reptilian gives me hives due to a conspiracy theory that is like super bigoted actually n’ stuff. Very yikes. Don’t want to talk it about it rlly…). Their reaction would def be “wtf. That’s the weirdest sh*t ever” to such a thought as male n female binary dynamics & whatnot. No exceptions. They’d be like why a lot of you guys limiting yourself because of whether or not you are a potential offspring vessel or not. I don’t understand.
So Yeah. Uh. Anyways.
Their conversation about this prolly (or close to this):
Lyle: Hi. I’m Lyle. Just some random dude form Earth I guess.
Kyvlar: a random dude what?
Lyle: uh. I’m a dude. I guess I meant that I’m a boy though dudes don’t really have to be boys I think. But not to derail too much… Yeah. I’m a man/guy/boy/brosef, whatever you wanna call the male gender. Please not by brosef actually, heh. Anyway. Yep. A boy. That is what I am. Uh. How about you. I can just tell… you ….you have uhm two legs. Oh damn. Wait. That sounded so stupid. I wouldn’t assume your gender or anything. I just… You don’t look exactly human so..uh. UGH. Nevermind. I don’t even know where I was going with that... Heh. ANYWAY, so yeah what’s your gender is what I’m trying to say. Sorry I’m awkward as f***. I’m not used to socializing much. Been doing deep space sh** on my own for a few years now and.. uh.. yeahhhh….
Kyvlar: *stares blankly*
Lyle: Uh. Yeah. So. A Gender? Do you, uhm, have one? Or…????
Kyvlar: Uh. I think so? I mean I’m mostly a day-by-day I’ll figure it out then type but I, I really want be able to fix my home up. I want to learn to cook. Kinda suck at it now. Uhm. I guess… Uh. I should probably help you get on good terms with my people so they stop trying to kill you. You seem nice n’ stuff… so yeah. There’s that. I could use a little more purpose in my life. Not to-
Lyle: wait. Huh? What are you talking about? Are you talking about an agenda?
Kyvlar: Yes????
Lyle: *snorts* I didn’t say an agenda. I said a gender. As in A. Gen. Durr. Like are male or female or maybe something off the typical binary track??
Kyvlar: Uh. Er. Huh??? I, I’m so confused right now…
Lyle: Hooo boy. I’m so not prepared for this discussion at all.
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One of these days I’m gonna have a character that’s silver-tongue and smooth af and not some bumbling awkward doofus (*cough* like I am *cough*).
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