#sorry if this isn't what you wanted but i have actual Opinions on this lmao

[etherealstar-writes]

I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 4

pairings: lionesses x reader

summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.

part: four

part one here

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

elton

how is everyone on this fine evening?

the REAL karate kid

great until you rudely woke me up

from my peaceful nap

stairway

L

the imposter

eh not too bad

but my friend keeps on spamming me

with these tiktok edits

neev

tiktok edits you say 👀

what of?

the imposter

these girls she's kinda obsessed with

and finds them incredibly good-looking

and wants to know who my fav is or

who i find the most good-looking

elton

ooh really?

i wanna know who

let us google em and say our opinions

the REAL karate kid

and which one did you find

the most good-looking?

the imposter

i don't really know who any of them are 😭

but they're playing football in some clips

so i'm guessing they're football players?

elton

oh 😳

stairway

this will be interesting

earpsy

ah well describe them

so how many were there?

and who was the best looking?

i wanna keep an eye out if they

turn up on my fyp

the imposter

well there were quite a few

there was this one specific blonde

that she continuously spammed me

edits off the most

and i think she was the captain idk?

willybum

i feel like i've seen that blonde before!

i reckon she's everybody's favourite

since she's the most good-looking

stairway

what a big fat lie

elton

as if

the imposter

eh, everyone's fav?

i mean i see where people are coming

from but that's kinda stretching it ...

there are so many more players

that seem to be just as great if not better

the REAL karate kid

see

thank you

you get it

just like everyone else

someone just needs to knock

some sense into leah

and i'll gladly do it rn

BACK TF UP ���

lotte

who is your favourite player tho, y/n?

neev

i'd love to know too

stairway

come on, that's easy

it's gotta be stanway

right?

the REAL karate kid

y/n, my love

it's russo isn't it

elton

hey hey hey

we forgetting toone too

the REAL karate kid

shush

the imposter

um i'm still uncultured okay 😭

i don't know any of their names yet

oh but i do know one of their names

i think she's pretty cool

neev

ooh do tell who this lucky person is

that you find pretty cool

the imposter

it's lucy bronze

willybum

NAHHH

SHUT UP

stairway

NOT THAT OLD RUSTY GRANDMA 😭

OUT OF EVERYONE ELSE SHE COULD PICK

rusty metal

OI

who you calling an old rusty grandma?

stairway

YOU

WHO ELSE

rusty metal

i'm very delighted that

she is your favourite y/n

she's mine too <33

earpsy

LMAO 💀

just so you know y/n

you've broken a lot of hearts today

the REAL karate kid

lemme just go and find the nearest cliff

and fling myself off of it

stairway

i'm joining you

willybum

count me in too

the imposter

IM SORRY 😭

ALL THE LIONESSES SEEM AMAZING OKAY

I JUST ONLY KNOW ABOUT HER YET

elton

nah

you've made your choice

the imposter

YOU GUYS

it's really not that big of a deal

you all are acting like i've

personally rejected you guys

lotte

this whole thing was so funny to read omg

meado

honestly

top tier entertainment

made my day

thank you y/n

the imposter

you're welcome ...?

part five here

[redr0sewrites]

If you desire 😂 please do a Fic of Reader rarely shaving their legs and Lucifer finding out from their first time (sex) or better yet what would Adam think? (I don’t think he’d care since the concept of shaving wasn’t a thing then but still) also I’m sorry I scarred you with the knowledge of bee movie fanfiction 😭💜

AKSJDJEJ DWWW THE FIC MAY BE TRAUMATIZING BUT ITS NOT THE WORST IVE HEARD OF LMAO- also i kinda combined the idea of like not shaving ur legs and also not shaving in general, so it's basically how they'd react to a reader who doesn't shave

🥀Cw: smut, fluff, slight crack, adam being adam (he slaps ur ass)

🥀minors dni

Lucifer

lucifer is def the type to not care at all whether or not you shave, hes such a sweetheart and loves u regardless of your bodily choices

he made a mental note of it the first time he saw it, but didn't mention it because he didn't want to make you embarrassed

if you bring it up, hes quick to reassure you that he doesn't care! its your body, so the choice is ultimately yours

lucifer also doesn't care about body hair when hes giving you oral, he'll go down on you whether you're clean shaven or not shaven at all

in his mind you're perfect in every way, nothing about your body could ever turn him off tbh

soft pants and whines filled the room as lucifer nipped at your collarbone, trailing kisses lower and lower down your body. he fiddled with the hem of your shirt, slowly assisting you in pulling it over your head. lucifer started at you for a second, speechless at the sight of you. "my dear, you truly are divine~" he murmured, pressing kisses to your chest that trailed lower down to your navel. his lips trailed low, slowly and sensually kissing your stomach, so close to where you wanted to feel him. lucifer's sinful lips brushed over the tip of your happy trail that was exposed from your pants, and he pressed a lazy kiss to the area. your hips jerked slightly in response, grinding into his touch. slowly, his hands crept up to the waistline of your pants, his eyes looking up to see if you were okay. "wait," you whispered into the darkness, and he immediately paused. "luci, i haven't shaved.." lucifer chuckled softly, still fiddling with the hem of your bottoms. his eyes flicked back down to your body, then returned to yours as he replied, "i don't mind, my love, whether or not you shave is completely up to you. every part of you deserves to be worshipped," he whispered smoothly, but added in a genuine tone, "if you truly want to stop, we can, my darli-" he was cut off by an insistent shake of your head as you began to slowly take of your pants. "i want to continue," you confessed, blushing as he smiled up at you. lucifer pulled your pants down and discarded them to the side, leaving you in only your undergarments. he hooked his fingers into the hem of your underwear, and met your eyes. you nodded, and he slowly pealed away the barrier between him and your aching sex. he stared at you, entranced and intoxicated with lust as he rubbed soothing circles into your thigh. "beautiful," he whispered huskily, leaning in to press a kiss to your inner thigh. lucifer's hot breath fanned against your aching sex and you whined at the sensational. he licked a stripe up your inner thigh, and you burrowed your hands into his hair. you were in for a long night...

Adam

this man rarely shaves either, so he isn't one to judge tbh

if adam found out during sex that you don't shave he would not care, especially since shaving was not a thing when he was created- if he's attracted to you, you're body hair isn't going to change his opinion of you at all

when it comes to your body hair, he doesn't have a huge opinion or preference, i actually think he would enjoy having a partner with body hair

while he can have a misogynistic side, if you're fem, he would understand that you're body is your choice and i def don't think hes the type to try and enforce any opinions on you when it comes to your body

adam may ask a few (stupid) questions about it but all in all i think he just wouldn't really care either way

you matter more to him than just your body, and whatever choices you make with your body are attractive to him simply because you made the choice

adam's helmet crashed to the floor as he tore it off his head, his hips grinding into yours as you moan, and he pushed you down against the bed with ease. his wings spread above you two, and the flapping motion made you shudder as a rush of cold air fills the room. adam smirks, and you pull him down into a sloppy kiss. his hands begin to work at both your guys' clothes, removing layers until you were left in just your pants and undergarments. all the while, a battle of teeth and tongue occurred as both of your mouths' clashed together in a sloppy, needy kiss. as adam begins to remove your pants, you paused, pulling away as you gasp for breath. "wait- adam, i haven't shaved," you gasped out, chest heaving and face flushed with lust. "do ya really think i care about shit like that babe? i mean, i'm the ORIGINAL dick after all, i can handle some hair~" adam smirked cheekily, and you grumbled at his cockiness. yet assisted him in removing your undergarments. adam groaned, cursing under his breath at the sight of you. "fuck, all this f'me, huh doll? you're so fucking hot," he whispered, ogling your exposed sex and giving your ass an appreciative smack. you moaned, shuddering at the sudden contact and he chuckled. "ya like that, huh? well, theres more where that came from, sugar tits~"

i haven't written graphic smut in a minute and it shows 💀 i tried to make it as gender neutral as possible but ITS SO HARD TO WRITE GN SMUTTTTTT 😭 anyways yall hope u enjoyed!!!! this was sm fun to writeee hehe

[landograndprix]

everybody talks ✾ m.v

summary – in which max's teammate & girlfriend isn't as loved as she should be.

a/n – requests are open, also don't know what this is but felt max was the perfect guy for this 😭 had to channel my fuck red bull & fuck max persona for this, warning a lot of sour men in here 😂

☆☆☆☆☆

y/nusername

Barcelona, Spain

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 218,761 others

y/nusername barcelona'23 ☀

tagged: maxverstappen1

view all 376 comments

victoriaverstappen have fun you two ❤️

y/nusername ❤️❤️

y/nnmax99 my favorite couple 🥰

jamesxvier I was today years old when I found out these two are dating

charloss1655 have been dating for a while now actually Don't blame you though, they don't post a lot about it.

verstappenmaxie ...because of the shit they both get for it, I would keep my relationship private too

mercgirl how much does red bull pay you to be his girlfriend? 🤡

y/nusername a wdc, don't tell him though.

landonorris can i get the same when I go out with Max?

y/nusername I'll ask..hang on

hannahhh having my fingers crossed for a good weekend for both of you!

☆☆☆☆☆

☆☆☆☆☆

redbullracing

Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya

liked by yourbestfrienduser, victoriaverstappen and 115,762 others

redbullracing another phenomenal race for our favorite paddock princess, p1! 🏆

#F1 #RedBullRacing #BarcelonaGP

view all 426 comments

zhoueey let's goooo women for the win 🏆🏆🏆

maxverstappen1 the best there is!

redbullracing she sure is 👏

cal092 🤮 🤮

sarahh1 @/cal092 you're a grown man, are you not embarrassed.. 🤮

timothytim sad we didn't get a 1-2 for redbull but we'll keep fighting!

teamy/n that's our girl 🥰

y/nusername just me and my lil' illegal car 🥰

maxmaxverstap in your little illegal rocketship 😭

chilisainz not a red bull fan but would die for this woman :')

frank1971 disgusting, women don't belong in f1.

y/nusername sorry you feel this way frank, however your opinion doesn't make me want to switch carreers. Hope you sleep well tonight, i certainly will. 😊

landoscar 💀 💀

bott-ass lmao that's some queen shit

tifosi200 I hate redbull. 🤮

yourbestfrienduser you're aware you're on the redbull page? You follow them, you stalking them despite it all?

1990m your ferrari ain't doing so good stfu

☆☆☆☆☆

y/nusername posted on their story

☆☆☆☆☆

y/nusername

Zandvoort, The Netherlands

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbestfrienduser and 198,002 others

y/nusername zandvoort'23 🇳🇱

tagged: maxverstappen1

view all 291 comments

yourbestfrienduser okay..where was my invite?

supermax33 hoping for a great weekend for both of you!

norrlan loving all this max content you've been putting out, love you two together 🥰

zaza29 heard you were sick, please tell me you're well enough to be on the grid this weekend 🥺

char_lec let's hope not lol let others have a chance..hope she'll be sick for a couple of weeks

zaza29 wtf? hoping people stay sick? 🥴

☆☆☆☆☆

y/nusername

CM.com Circuit Zandvoort

liked by redbullracing, yourbestfrienduser and 236,542 others

y/nusername p2 this weekend wasn't something I was expecting this weekend since I wasn't feeling 100%. A big shout out to my doctor for fixing me up the best he could and a big shout out to the team for guiding me through the struggles that I experienced today!

tagged: redbullracing, maxverstappen1

view all 361 comments

maddieb sis struggled to breathe over the radio, looked like a hot mess when she got out of that car, looked like she was about to empty her stomach and was visible shaking and still managed to get p2..and y'all still want to tell me she ain't got no skill 💀

maxverstappen1 proud of you ❤️

y/nusername ❤️❤️

carlitosainz stop making me like you dude omg 😭

redbullracing beast mode was on! 👏

lucie2000 I'm not a fan of max but the way he waited for y/n to drive into the pits with a big fat smile on his face was adorable

norrisoscar enemies to lovers always hit different 😂

lucie2000 true true 😂

danielricciardo you might be good at this.

y/nusername yeah, you think I can make a carreer out of this?

danielricciardo with a bit of training? Absolutely.

Tiffie2 pregnant maybe, does look like you gained some weight?

charlus16 wtf is this question, what's wrong with people?

y/nusername it's called bloating tiff, something that happens to a female body when they're ovulating. I thought a woman your age would've known this by now.

bott-ass and I oooop– 💀

supermaxmax @/maxverstappen1 if you don't marry her, I will 😭

yourbestfrienduser another 1-2 with your man 🥰

☆☆☆☆☆

y/nusername posted on their story

☆☆☆☆☆

y/nusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 278,761 others

y/nusername december'19 – december'23, four years of us. Hoping I can be your pain in the ass for for many more years and may I be able to stop myself from driving you off the track when you once again 'forget' to do the dishes. love you lot, hou van jou ♥︎

tagged: maxverstappen1

view all 401 comments

maxverstappen1 love you lots and hou van jou ❤️

maxiel333 congrats you guys 🥰

dannyricric the cutest couple for sure

danielricciardo ❤️

lunaferrari 4 years already?! 🤯 happy 4 years!

norrizz4 happy 4 years you guys 💞💞

posiexo power couple for real

bennyd14 man bagged his 3rd wdc, drives for the best team AND bagged the prettiest woman of them all. He won for life.

yourbestfrienduser and now get married..

charlie16cl honestly, what's this man waiting for? 😂

bott-ass @/maxverstappen1 you better before I do

[zettaireido-emotion]

Camus character analysis: games VS anime

If you finished the Uta no Prince-sama anime and your opinion of this man is "wow, he's kinda terrible," I don't blame you. in fact I've seen a lot of people say this

In this post, I want to talk about his characterization in the games and give my two cents on what the anime was trying to do with him, especially in his single focus episode Saintly Territory (S3E6).

Disclaimer: I wrote this on a whim because I'm sick and stuck at home so if anyone reads this, sorry I might go all over the place

Spoilers for all of the games!

The "be my slave" thing

Starting with Anime Camus's most egregious crime: treating Haruka like a servant/slave (however you want to translate it)

Basically in his focus episode, Haruka is tasked with writing a song for Camus. She wants to learn more about him in order to write it, but Camus will only let her follow him if she acts as his servant. She accepts without complaining, Cecil is rightfully angry, Haruka continues anyway and the song gets completed.

Now, am I about to say that Game Camus would never do this? No because he literally does lmao.

The anime doesn't pull this "servant" plotline out of nowhere, here's the context in his route:

Haruka accidentally overhears Camus talking about a plot to assassinate Saotome on the phone. When he notices that she heard everything, he basically tells her that he has to kill her now. But if she served him, he'd be able to keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn't leak anything, so she could escape death.

Okay uh "work under me or DIE" isn't exactly better, nor is it a good start to a love story, but I'm not finished!!

(A side note: I have to add that the anime made him look like an even bigger asshole and borderline dumb when it came to the things he made her do. Like he expected her to know that snapping your fingers means you want coffee without prior explanation. bro

^This might have been for comedic effect but I promise he can be actually funny and endearing.)

What the anime couldn't cover

The Camus episode wraps up with Haruka pulling through and writing a song that makes Camus "sincere," he says it's cool at the very end and that's the episode. I think the problem is that we technically didn't see him being sincere or what that even means to him, besides when he was singing (banger song btw)

It's a shame because in a 20-minute episode you really can't show the game experience of slowly piecing together what this man's problem is.

First of all, in Debut and AS you'll be quick to notice that he always has homeland and duty on the mind, constantly reminding himself that he's in Shining Agency/Japan for a reason, and it's NOT to have fun or make friends

The truth is, he slowly starts to appreciate the banter with his colleagues, music, and working there in general.

But because of his initial mindset, he has to rationalize & justify every connection he forms, like "it's just for work" or worse: "actually it was ALL A LIE and I NEVER ENJOYED A SECOND OF THE TIME WE SPENT TOGETHER, I'm such a great actor haha"

He uses that to fool himself and to push the other person away so it doesn't happen again. This scene is probably the best example:

(I'll be using google lens because it's faster but I checked that the tls were okay)

He also does this in the Non-Fiction drama, which may or may not have actually happened, but I think it's still a pretty good reflection of what could happen in reality because he tells Ranmaru their bond was a lie, then mopes around in his guilt thinking about the good times and wondering why he's sad, and THEN later doubles down on the "it was a lie, I don't care about you" because he just can't let himself get attached to anything.

Basically, he's terrified at the thought of forming actual bonds because he genuinely thinks he's nothing if he stops being a cold weapon:

At one point he does admit he sucks (as a love interest)-

-which is pretty huge by utapri standards. I love these games, but the amount of times where a male lead does something icky, and everyone, including Haruka, acts like it's normal or like it's Haruka's fault is ehhh but I digress

Upbringing

Of course he's very proud of his homeland and status, but sometimes it's to the point of thinking he can't be anything other than his title. So why is he like this?

We got to hear about his childhood from Camus himself a few times, and it often ended with Haruka thinking "wait? that's kinda messed up?" and Camus insisting it's nothing/it's normal so yeah that's something...

His parents were in an unhappy arranged marriage, and his mother was forced to birth an heir which traumatized her so much that she can't see Camus without falling ill. Overall it's a pretty tragic situation since what happened to her was horrible, though not Camus's fault either. Even now she refuses to see him, and I wouldn't say that makes him sad because he never really met her, but simply knowing of her sacrifice probably adds a lot of pressure. As in, he only exists for this one purpose (inheriting his father's title and serving the country), so if he doesn't play his part correctly, it would have all been for nothing.

He was raised by his father not as a child or son but as the heir, always treated and judged as an adult (even during physical training apparently, make of that what you will)

When Haruka asks about childhood memories he has a very hard time finding something that doesn't have to do with his duties or the nation. And then admits he didn't truly have a "childhood" since he was never treated like a child

As for the queen, I think his love for her is sincere: she taught him a lot of things growing up, and according to him, she's also a victim trapped by her duties so he wants to ease the burden.

So hypothetically, if he found things or people that made him happy in Japan, he would feel obligated to lock them away because that happiness is incompatible with his life: he'll have to leave when his mission ends, he shouldn't be spending time on things that aren't "useful" as he doesn't have the free will to pursue them

In his mind he's completely tied down by the fact that he was born and raised for a single reason, and the fact that he does want to serve the queen.

(This is Saotome describing him btw)

Also it might sound ridiculous to bring his self-worth into question because of how pretentious he is, but I've counted a few situations where he seemed to have complete disregard for his own life, only worrying about Haruka and Cecil's safety in scenes when they were present. And he thinks wanting to be loved unconditionally is a childish thought he shouldn't have.

"Double Face" was a lie. There's like at least 10 layers

On the surface he does have two personas, his perfect polite butler act for the media, and his cold bitchy attitude off camera. But honestly, even when he's not acting as a butler, he's often putting up a front to hide any form of vulnerability (from himself as well)

His main struggle is finding who he is outside of what he's being told to do. Before, he never actually stopped to think about what he WANTS because it just never occurs to him, or if it does he ignores it.

That's why realizing that he has his own desires is essential to his character development, and him staying with Quartet Night (and Haruka in his routes) is so important. It's why Reiji feels the need to reach out and when he does, Camus either freezes up or tears up;

This all makes him the opposite of Ranmaru (being true to yourself and sincere), and similar to Ai (gradually learning to view the world in a less cold and logical way), but I kind of want to save that for another post lmao

He is especially hard on Cecil because Cecil says & does whatever he wants, and everything still works out for him, which is a way of life that Camus can't imagine for himself at all (despite maybe wanting it?)

That he can realize this and eventually admit out loud, despite all his pride, is also one of my favorite things about him

Season 2 does hint at something, so that's pretty cool!

Side note, I really love that his theme in the new Oracle series is "Change," the melting of ice.

So what was the anime supposed to do??

Of course there's no way to show all this in a single episode or even during the runtime of the anime, and I never expected them to because the story is very surface-level (that goes for all characters).

It's just unfortunate since the anime is the most accessible and well-known utapri media in the western fandom, and the character's main episode is bound to leave the biggest impression.

I understand the choice of being laser-focused on the servant plotline, it's supposed to be funny (?) and waters him down to a trope that's easy to understand at first glance (the step-on-me guy I guess)

Still, I can't help but compare it to Ranmaru's episode, who was also hard to work with in the games but was chill in S3E7 and got to pet cats. Anime onlys will never know how much Camus loves to dote on his dog smh.....

[httpiastri]

NSFW alphabet – pa17

author's note: hello hello, finally finished this <333 (after idk how many months lmao) happy to finally post it! hope u enjoy !!! and please let me know if you have any opinions or thoughts, feel very free to fill in with what you think abt these prompts (or any other paul prompts 🤭) hehe

nsfw content below !! minors dni !!!

a – aftercare (what he is like after sex)

i see paul as someone who doesn't like to make a mess, so the clean-up process is important to him. he'll either want to clean you both up with a warm, wet towel, or take a good old shower. he'll find it super cute if you don't have the energy to shower because he'll love holding you up, having you lean against his chest as the water pours on you two.

but in general, i think he'll be very soft after sex. he makes sure to tell you how good you did, praising you and letting you know how much he adores you. it's a lot of smiles and giggles, a very lighthearted vibe. and he craves skin-on-skin contact, holding you close and brushing his fingers along your skin.

b – body part (his favorite body part of his and also his partner's body)

his favorite body part of his own is his hands – just because he knows how much you love them. he loves how he can use them to give you so much pleasure, and how much you tremble from just his touch.

his favorite body parts of yours are anything he can cover with his hands. he loves seeing how big his hands are compared to your body, so holding you in his hands makes him crazy. he likes your boobs, butt and thighs specifically. (boob man!paul headcanons here)

c – cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

like i mentioned before, he dislikes making a mess. so cum will go either inside of you, in your mouth, or possibly on your chest, but then he's gotta be ready to clean it all up quickly (or lick it up). he isn't a fan of the like stickyness of it, especially in combination with your sweat, so he'll want to clean you both up after your session.

d – dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of his)

i wouldn't say that i think paul is a switch, but he definitely enjoys being bossed around by you every once in a while. he loves it when you think you're in charge (when in reality, he's just toying with you, sorry), he thinks it makes you look so cute.

e – experience (how experienced is he? does he know what he's doing?)

hmmm honestly he's young so i wouldn't say he's got a ton of actual experience. though, i still think he knows what he's doing; he's a fast learner, good at adapting, and he listens well to your needs and wants. he's really good at picking up on your little signs and tells of how you like a specific thing, which i think makes him seem more experienced than he actually is. i also think he's learned a lot from watching videos, so don't be surprised when he pulls out some random trick that has you falling over the edge immediately and he just says "i saw it online"….

f – favorite position (this goes without saying)

mmmm paul will never be a more content man than he is when his girlfriend is riding him. is this a biased opinion? possibly, but i really see him enjoying it because 1. boobs on full display, so easy for his hands to cup. 2. he really enjoys not having to do as much work, especially after a long weekend etc. 3. again, he likes you thinking you're in charge when in reality, he's definitely going to be thrusting up into you.

though i also think he loves something where he can be more in control, setting the pace and just making sure you feel good. paul is a simple man, and nothing gets him going like a good old missionary where he can pin his girl's hands over her head and watch her gaze flutter as he thrusts into her.

g – goofy (is he more serious in the moment? is he humorous? etc.)

paul is a goofy guy but also very serious at times? which makes me think that he would be more serious during the deed. he'd of course be able to smile or laugh a little if something funny happened, but mostly he just wants to enjoy the intimacy and get as much out of the moment as possible.

h – hair (how well groomed is he? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

when i said i think he doesn't like things to be messy, his hair falls under that category, too. he wouldn't be completely clean-shaven, but he likes things to be neat and tidy.

i – intimacy (how is he during the moment? the romantic aspect)

i personally feel like he can be quite romantic? not over the top but a bit. i think half the time, it's just a good old fuck, but the other time he sees it more as lovemaking and he gets really soft about it. it depends a lot on his mood and the day, but if he's in the right state of mind, he loves having a long go where you're both just fully relaxed and he loves to make sure every cell of your body feels good.

j – jack off (masturbation headcanon)

oh he enjoys jacking off as much as the next guy. he's a busy guy and doesn't have time to be with you as much as he wants to (and maybe if you even live in different countries, it's extra hard). and therefor, his own hand is just the second best thing. esp during a bad race weekend when he just needs to get some of that pent up frustration out. you'll always be there with him though, no matter if it's in the form of a picture, a voice recording, a clip, etc.. and when you've spent a lot of time apart, he loves to have you on the phone with him….

k – kink (one or more of his kinks)

size. seeing you in his oversized clothes would make him go crazy. (size kink headcanons here)

l – location (favorite places to do the do)

anywhere inside the house. in his bed, on the couch, having you sit on the kitchen counter, in the shower, you name it.

i think he would be up for some teasing in public; his hands on your thighs inching up under your dress when you're sitting down for dinner, possibly even letting a finger drag across the soaked fabric of your panties. but i don't think he would want to go any further in public, because he would much rather have a real one at home where he can enjoy the moment fully and not risk anyone else seeing. you're his and only his, after all – he doesn't want anyone else to see you like that.

POSSIBLY in his driver's room if he needs to get off before/after a session. oh, and in hotel rooms during the season, but more about that later… AND OKAY LAST ONE: in his car. yes yes yes.

m – motivation (what turns him on, gets him going)

honestly, whenever you take the first step, it gets him going instantly. if you insinuate that you want to have sex with him, or that you want to try something new, he'll be jumping into bed instantly. he also can't keep his hands to himself whenever you dress up in certain outfits, especially short dresses (no matter if it's a sleek fancy one or a cute summery dress)…

n – no (something he wouldn't do, turn-offs)

he refuses to share you. he's possessive like that; you're his and only his. no threesomes or anything like that, just the thought of you with another man makes him icky. and it's not even like a funny thing, like "oh he gets jealous so easily, haha!". even teasing him by trying to make him jealous is a no-go zone, he doesn't find it amusing at all. he just gets mad and it's a huge turn-off for him. flirt with any of his friends and he will just leave the room.

o – oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

that's all i have to say abt this.

p – pace (is he fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

like i said before, i think it depends on his mood!! he can be both, depending on how a race weekend has gone or just his general vibe for the day. mostly probably somewhere inbetween though.

q – quickie (his opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

they're definitely a part of the equation, esp during race weekends. a must to get out some of that pent up energy he so often has. makes him relax more (and he says it improves his performance, too. he got like one podium once when you had a quickie before a race and now he insists on them every time he has an important race).

r – risk (is he game to experiment? does he take risks? etc.)

in the bedroom, possibly. i think he would be up to trying new things if you really want to, but personally, he could just as well do what you always do. nothing dangerous or something that could ever hurt you even the slightest, so like even if you're trying bondage it has to be with the softest of silk straps.

outside of the bedroom, nuh uh. especially not out in public. like i said, he doesn't enjoy the risk of you accidentally being seen.

s – stamina (how many rounds can he go for? how long does he last?)

he's a strong guy with good stamina, not sure how well it translates to the bedroom though. surely he can go for a few rounds but i think he's okay with just going all-in into one round instead. it doesn't really matter that much to him.

t – toys (does he own toys? does he use them? on a partner or himself?)

not a big fan of using them but he likes to watch you use them on yourself :)

u – unfair (how much he likes to tease)

oh, he enjoys teasing you quite a lot. especially with his hands since he knows they make you so weak; showing them off, flexing them, placing them on your thighs, etc. he loves to rile you up, pretending like he isn't sure whether he will give you what you want or not, making you whine and beg for it.

he also loves it when you tease him back. it's hard for him to pretend like your actions make him feel what you want, because he's always looking up at you with a big smile and showing off how much he enjoys it. this connects to what i wrote earlier about him liking when you're in control; you're just too adorable, he can't hold back his grin.

v – volume (how loud he is, what sounds he makes, etc.)

mmmm not too loud but not quiet, i feel? groans and moans a lot but also loves just talking and praising you. i also see him being… maybe just a little whiny……. when he's being teased etc. because as we've discussed on this blog before, i think he has a little submissive streak and just. there are some sounds he can't control.

w – wild card (a random headcanon)

there's just something about doing it in hotel rooms when he's racing that really gets him going. after a while, it's like he's one of pavlov's dogs because just being in a hotel room gets him going. celebratory, fluffy sex after a good race, or rough sex after a bad weekend – it doesn't matter. it's just bound to happen.

x – x-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

gonna let someone else fill in on this because i just can't 😭

y – yearning (how high is his sex drive?)

high, but again not over the top. he doesn't need to get going 24/7 but if he has a gf as hot as you, then it's gonna get high. idk he just sees you and boom, instant boner. doesn't need to act on it every time, but he could if you wanted to.

z – zzz (how quickly he falls asleep afterward)

quickly!! a sleepy boy, he needs his beauty rest. quick aftercare, and he'll make sure you're comfortable and good and resting properly on his chest before he lets himself close his eyes. but then it won't take long before he's dozing off…. he puts so much energy into the act that he's completely worn out after it, poor boy.

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

I always believed that the reason why Kenny never tried to tell butters at all about his “curse” was never that he wouldn’t believe it in fact I think he would whole heartedly believe but because Butters would get like VERY paranoid & stressed about it and that Kenny doesn’t want to put any more baggage on him than butters is already dealing with

Well, the reason Kenny never tried to tell Butters about his curse first and foremost is because Matt and Trey haven't figured they should make this into a canon interaction yet, but when we talk about hypotheticals I think there's a lot to unpack.

Kenny and Butters aren't significantly close in their current canon age, so the reason Kenny might not have told him is because he just doesn't see the point, plus he doesn't really care about Butters and his opinion. Post COVID and "Going Native" have proven there's very much an insanely big potential for their dynamic, so it might be an interaction that could happen in the future sparked by a number of things in different ways.

Mostly, I think Kenny would tell Butters in a moment of weakness. This was the case in my fic Chaos Plan (sorry to bring Chaos Plan into this lmao but my writing is how I explore certain headcanons/interpretations of characters so bear with me), because I doubt that Kenny would usually try to convince anyone again, so as to not be disappointed when they don't believe him. The line "I knew there'd be no point in telling you guys" (s14's "Coon vs. Coon & Friends") is pretty much proof to me for this, as is Kenny's apathy towards his curse by the end of the trilogy. But I think it's necessary that Kenny and Butters are close friends for this to happen, because Kenny should want to confide in Butters in the first place.

The point you make about Butters being paranoid & anxious is a pretty interesting one, but I doubt this would be a reason Kenny wouldn't tell him. Butters may have a lot of baggage, but at the end of the day I think Kenny wouldn't see why BUTTERS would be anxious about KENNY'S curse.

Butters mirrors other people's emotions a lot when it comes to getting hyped or scared about something, (like how in "Poor and Stupid" he gets very "psyched" because Cartman is lmao), and Kenny isn't in any danger for Butters to be worried about him. He just has a pretty shitty situation going on that won't go away, and Kenny would treat it as such. All that Kenny needs here would be emotional support & someone who listens to & believes him, and I think Butters would recognize that.

Think of how Butters comforted him in "Major Boobage" when Kenny was addicted to cheesing. Butters definitely has the stuff to be an emotional crutch when he sees someone in distress, like in "A Boy and a Priest" or "Worldwide Privacy Tour" when he reaches out to Kyle after he sees him upset.

He's much less anxious and paranoid than people give him credit for, because most of his panicky moments are usually sparked deliberately by Cartman or his parents with unnecessarily scary threats of consequences that he's sadly learned to believe to be true. But Butters is actually awesome at emotional support, without letting the other person's problems get to him. He's more so than a rational problem-solver, which is where Kyle's strength lies, and is the reason Kyle isn't the person Kenny can confide in for this particular problem.

Butters, however, would be perfect. Kenny's problem doesn't need solutions, he needs someone to listen to him, believe him and maybe give him a hug so he can cry a little (a lot). And we've seen Butters is an incredibly emotionally intelligent guy, especially in the episodes "Raisins" and "Butterballs".

For all these reasons, I highly doubt Butters would get paranoid and stressed over Kenny's curse. Especially because he'd recognize there's no use in stressing about it, and I think he'd know right off the bat what Kenny actually needs.

Now, allow me to introduce a different hypothetical where your theory could definitely hold truth; another fic wip I have (sorry) where Kenny loses his immortality and develops a panic disorder. The premise is that Kenny can't stop seeing possible death causes anywhere he goes, and with his immortality gone, he's in constant fear that he's always on the verge of death.

(screenshot from season 3's "Tweek vs. Craig")

In this particular fic, Kenny and Butters are already together, but Kenny's never told him about his curse, or that he's lost his immortality. So when Kenny starts panicking about all the ways he thinks he could die, Butters mirrors this fear and unknowingly makes everything worse for Kenny, because he's accidentally reinforcing Kenny's irrational fears.

What I'm saying is; Kenny could very well THINK Butters would be stressed and paranoid if he knew about Kenny's curse, based on reactions Kenny's seen Butters have whenever Kenny is scared about a possible death cause. He could accidentally give Butters fears that Butters didn't have before because, again, Butters MIRRORS these kinds of emotions when someone convinces him it's rational/threatens a consequence that is supposed to inspire fear.

In these kinds of scenarios, your theory could very well hold truth. I think it's an interesting darker side to Kenny and Butters' possible dynamic, and I'm happy you pointed it out. I'm also excited to get that fic I mentioned out someday and hopefully spark more conversation about Kenny's possible anxiety issues originating from his curse >:)

[pseudophan]

“Don’t talk to me like that!!” The way I can just imagine their heated arguments in my head now LMAO very old married couple. Anyways period Phil, you tell him 😤😤

i'm obsessed with this insight into their arguments cause like.. both sides make so much sense bsdhjkfbskj personally i'm definitely phil, like sorry if i'm rolling my eyes or making a snarky comment that's NOT cause for you to start an argument sorry, it wasn't that deep and you should get over it. you're making it into a way bigger deal than it has to be. no i'm not disrespecting you, you're just taking everything super personally. omgggg get over it. etc etc etc. sorry i'm very annoying to have an argument with and evidently so is phil

genuinely though if i was to analyse this from a very very personal perspective that's definitely biased towards phil cause we seem to be on the same page - i think what happens is essentially, somehow someone says something that the other doesn't agree with, or otherwise in some way shape or form there's a discussion happening, they clearly don't agree on a topic, and dan is very determined and opinioned about something phil doesn't rly care about, and so phil, just wanting this to be over with, gets kinda bitchy about it, right? idk what he'd actually say but let's say he's like okay! since you're always right! sure! and he genuinely doesn't mean it that seriously, like he just wants to move on and he doesn't care all that much about the actual argument at hand. however dan DOES care that much, or rather he might not have been until phil was like Ok Since You Have To Be Correct Always, so now he's like. okay? bitch? fuck you? and phil is like omg. not that serious. i don't care. sorry. it was an offhand comment. and dan is like.. no please, elaborate.. and phil's like...... idgaf.......... but perhaps you have a tendency to sometimes. SOMETIMES. need to be right. and dan's like. no. and phil's like. yeah. and dan's like. . . .. . . no. and phil's like. ok no :) and dan's like >:( what are you saying. and phil's like ^_^ nothing <3 and then that continues for another like 45 minutes

my main point is i think a lot of their arguments stem from phil very seriously not thinking what they were talking about was all that serious whereas dan takes everything rather seriously, and so phil is like...... it just wasn't that deep.... and dan, unable to not see things That Deep, gets offended that phil isn't taking it as seriously. but phil genuinely just does not see it as a big deal. he's not trying to be rude they're just on different wavelengths when it comes to the topics at hand. yes this is based on every argument i've ever had why are you asking

[theblogwithoutfear]

karen page is so annoying in the show...is she better in the comics somehow or is she just like that

So I've actually wanted to talk about this forever, but I kept forgetting to make a post about it. Your ask is a perfect opportunity to write down all my thoughts. Brace yourself, because I have a lot to say. Sorry in advance lmao

I actually prefer Karen in the show. To be fair, I have not finished all the comics, but so far I think her TV counterpart is a lot better (I still like her a lot in the comics tho, don't get me wrong). The NMCU version of Karen Page also has a lot of Kirsten McDuffie (another comic book girlfriend) in her, which is great in my opinion.

A lot of people find her annoying, but to me it's her flaws that make her such a fantastic character. She isn't a caricature, stock-girlfriend character pulled from a box of tropes; she's a well-rounded individual, extremely realistic, a mirror of Matt Murdock, and a woman with real agency. Her actions have major consequences on the plot. In my opinion, a lot of superhero girlfriends (in comics, movies, TV, whatever) are written more like props than characters, and they don't have any agency or actual plot relevance. Which is why, when a lot of them die, their deaths feel so cheap and inconsequential. That's where fridging comes from. It's been a problem with superheroes since their very inception; and a problem in storytelling at large. So often in fiction, women are flat and unrealistic.

So to me, Karen's heavily-flawed character is refreshing. She is extremely impulsive; she's deeply intelligent, but makes such stupid decisions; she can be hypocritical, self-destructive, and petty. Sometimes she manipulates people, even unintentionally. She's very well-meaning, but constantly makes mistakes. And it's these mistakes that move the plot forward, and reveal important things about both her and Matt. Her actions have real consequences for the story, and she undertakes her own journey throughout the narrative. She is almost as much a protagonist as Matt is, in terms of her character development and growth.

For that matter, every one of the flaws that I listed are things that Matt does too. They are almost perfect mirrors of each other; people who are immensely concerned with justice and compassion, people who care for the truth, and people who want to make their city a better place. However, as they go about it, they stumble and make mistakes and endanger other people. They're hypocritical and contradictory and impulsive. They constantly have to call their own moralities into question, because they almost never live up to their high ideals.

(Also, as a side note, I think many of Karen's flaws—as with Matt's—come as a direct result of all the trauma she's been through: her mother's death, her brother's death, her alcoholism and drug addiction, her dad cutting her off, being framed for murder, almost getting murdered in prison, etc. So I think it's fair to give her some grace.)

But what makes both Karen and Matt so lovable, imo, is that they keep trying. No matter what mistakes they make, they get back up and try again. They do everything they can to atone for the blood on their hands.

I think also (and I'm not accusing you of this, just a certain subset of people in the fandom) that people are more willing to accept Matt's flaws than Karen's—because there's a lot of misogyny built into our society, and there's this ingrained idea that women have to be paragons of virtue. Women, both in fiction and in reality, tend to be put under a microscope and dissected, while men can get away with a lot more. So Matt and Karen have identical flaws, but only Karen gets hate for it, which makes me very sad.

It may be the writer in me, but imo flaws are what make a character—and a story—meaningful. A well-flawed character can take a ridiculous, implausible story and make it feel grounded and real and impactful. A well-flawed woman even more so. I love Karen for the same reason I love Jessica Jones and Wanda Maximoff; or, to go beyond Marvel, for the same reason I love Jo March and Katniss Everdeen and Miss Haversham and Katherina Molina. They all elevate their respective stories beyond the initial premise and plot. Flawed female characters are realistic and impactful, and therefore empowering.

Obviously, to each their own. Some people just find her annoying and don't like her personality, and that's fine. But for me, that's what makes her feel real, and that's why I love her.

[inkedberries]

Hey! Prefacing this by saying that this isn't meant to be an attack (which generally isn't a great way to start a message but I'd rather be clear about intentions) and more so genuine curiosity. Apologizing in advance for this being long; I have a tendency to overthink and overexplain.

I don't typically interact with fandom outside of like... carefully curated little microbiomes. As such I haven't really encountered the whole proship/anti shit with any amount of seriousness since probably around 2018. I personally don't put much stock into either of the terms because there's far too much grey area and for the fact that (as per my understanding) exist as ethical frameworks, and I don't care much for subscribing purely to a single framework to the exclusion of anything else in terms of personal ethics and morality. At most with friends we tend to colloquially refer to incest + pedophile ships as proships, because that's just sort-of what the term has evolved to mean most strongly (again, at least in the circles I run in). I don't consider myself anti or proship or whatever the fuck else, because I generally don't care to involve myself with that kind of fandom drama. I'll involve myself over like, matters of being anti-bigotry but the rest is just something I haven't wanted to deal with for 5-6 years. Tagging + filtering + block functions exist for a reason, and I don't need to do anything more than prevent my feed from showing me those things. I generally just hit block and move on with that kind of stuff, especially because I'm anti-censorship for a variety of reasons.

Tl;dr on that: proship/anti aren't terms I really use or subscribe to, because I feel like they oversimplify everything and conflate "drama". From my understanding, I agree with proship ideology (????) in the sense that I believe censorship only fucks over everyone, and that you can just block + filter and move on. But at the same time I see this overall conception that 'proship' means you support/condone/etc incest and pedophilia and so on, which I really truly don't. But there is this really heavy perception that proship = this person ships (usually) pedophilic or incestuous relationships. A bit reinforced for me typically because when something like that comes across my feed and I go to block the person, they generally have 'proship' in their bio. That to acknowledge that I do have some bias in that, even if I know it's a correlation/not cause thing. That all being (over)said (and I'm SO sorry again about how fucking long this is, my twitter TL is having a meltdown and I've avoided all this stuff for so long I don't know if I'm missing something? Because ethically on my end there's no reason for me to block or whatever outside of just the word proship...? Two minutes for a quick search as as far as I can tell you don't participate in anything against my own comfort/moral beliefs. so) I guess I'm asking what your definition of proship is for yourself and why people are jumping to this conclusion of dislike so instantaneously? Obviously you're under no obligation to educate me on what I presume is fucking YEARS of fandom history, nor respond publicly or even at all. I'm only asking you specifically because this is the first time I've encountered 'being proship' ≠ shipping pedophilia etc etc. I think maybe I came across it way back when as a middle schooler, but I'm not about to trust any of my opinions/recollections from when I was that age lmao. But anyways. Just genuinely curious and wanting to understand because I'm wary of reacting too-quickly just because other people are, and especially so if it's actually a total non-issue for me. Sorry again for the insane rambling in this lol

hello!! i hope you don't mind me prefacing this response too by saying to please read this out fully, if you don't agree with the starting points i've provided, i hope you still continue on reading until the end💙 i think @/frownyalfred best words the defense i would most likely stumble on if i give it a go at answering your question with my own words

and this was a post made in 2016 (where a lot of ppl say is the year anti-shippers started sprouting up) and this is honestly what i mean when i say i hate antis

if anything, antis just started the propaganda that all proshippers are incest lovers and pedophiles and people ate it up like cats who haven't had wet food in three weeks. as proven by your friend group using the term as such? that's wild to me that ppl use the term proship like that, i hope the case i'm making will change that for you and your friend group.

no, proship literally is anti-censorship. ship and let ship. antis gatekeep, police shippers and harass anyone who doesn't ship their ship the RIGHT way. and it's not just the ships you say are 'harmful' or 'immoral'. i've shipped a rarepair before and the fandom at large did not like me shipping a rarepair so they started calling me a pedophile bc i aged up said characters???????? they'll find anything and i mean ANYTHING to twist everything i say and do to make it seem like it's "okay" for me to be harassed and bullied. "oh it's okay that i'm telling this person to die because they're gross," yeah no that behavior is So Much More Normal than a person shipping two fictional characters the "wrong" way. AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUCKED UP? ppl BELIEVED THEM LMAOOOO

and hey no sweat, i was like you once. i didn't define myself as proship or anti bc the real world exists but then in the one space i thought i'd be free from real life speculation and surveillance i get these anti policing assholes so yeah im a proshipper now lol just to get away from that bs. i honestly just want to have fun on here without judgement but i can't even have that lol that's why im all about blocking/muting.

you say your tl is having a meltdown? well shit, they're probably calling me names on there too. probably throwing out baseless accusations without fact checking bc i'm lowlife enough not be respected or given the decency of a fact check? or saying my art wasn't good anyway? bc gatekeeping their precious kudoichi is so much more righteous, top priority that they start slandering a real life person, right? no no no one disgusting should be touching or shipping our precious kudoichi lmao i hope you see how Not Right this is. kinda makes me feel sick for real lol

and i hope you understand how harmful this is not just to my mental state but my livelihood as an artist as these people would just start policing their fellow fans and just tell them not to support or view my art because im a 'proshipper' not even that, they'd probably just straight up say i support incest and pedophilia which are?????? such STRONG accusations to make????????? now they're just buzzwords. BUZZWORDS for antis to use to defame and cancel an artist! a real life person. over their precious fictional characters. over their precious kudoichi. oh man it makes it so much more stupid if i specify the ship, what is wrong with people sometimes😭

but hey im all about blocking and muting and unfollowing if you don't like my stuff i'm 100% for that but i hope they do it on their own terms. their own thinking. not because someone told them to.

and i dunno man that behavior of not even letting their 'friends' think for themselves, that they'd bash them too if they support me, my art, kinda seems like grooming don't it? or nah no im just looking into it. it might not be that deep. but i really yeah that's why i hate antis and why im more proship.

but hey i appreciate you even taking the time to come to me in the first place and uhhh idk i hope you found what you were looking for and that i answered your bit of curiousity there!

[hugemilkshake]

https://www.tumblr.com/hugemilkshake/746976766494720000/httpswwwtumblrcomhugemilkshake74666492724104?source=share

I love a lot of those ideas...and actually now got ideas for a part 2:

Imagine if the ancients visit y/n after a while of y/n just staying mostly in bed...and it's so they can dote on y/n too and make sure they are relaxed and happy and can imagine a little add on if you want...based off the "freshly baked cookie" part...

Like at one point dark enchantress shows up and ancients prepare to fight buuuut turns out she isn't here to cause stress for y/n by causing a war...she is here to help y/n learn to walk! Like she is holding y/n up and letting go so y/n slowly learns to stand and when they get the hang of it...they make a fun game to make sure y/n is having fun and happy while learning to walk (and so various cookies can have a chance to hug y/n...you'll understand why when I say game. Also it's so cookies can show their love for y/n and vent out a little of their competition through a fun game...aaaand remind themselves to keep their fight for y/n on the down low because...again want y/n to feel safe and happy.)

The game? A play obstacle course where each cookie is a 'check point' where y/n simply has to walk up to them and give them a hug before going onto the next cookie...and like the cookies are cheering them on "come on y/n! You can do it!" Ofcourse having some cookies nearby so if y/n starts to stumble, they can rush up to y/n like "hey hey its ok its ok...you're ok, we are here for you!"

And can imagine at the end, the cookies are all super proud of y/n lol!

Oooor maybe you can make up you're own 'y/n learns to walk' game where cookies can be more...competitive...buuut ofcourse maybe they mask it behind playful banter and so on so y/n doesn't feel the stress of having cookies fight over them lol!

Sorry if I'm being too descriptive or if I Sounded weird or anything lol! Just got thoughts flowing lmao!

Enjoy the milkshake! Don’t worry about sounding too descriptive, it’s actually more helpful for me since I don’t have to think of a plot- also dark enchantress might be ooc

How do you walk?

Part 1, part 3

Self aware AU

-platonic-

“ … and that’s when Blackberry Cookie came over to calm down Onion Cookie! After that everything was fine!”

You rested in the bed as Gingerbrave talked about recent events, this was a weekly occurrence, you didn’t hate it! But you wished you could walk around and talk to more cookie besides Gingerbrave, Strawberry, Wizard Or Custard lll…

Gingerbrave got up to leave before saying one last thing “Oh and one last thing before I leave! The ancient Cookies are going to be visiting! They might come see you to try and help you with your problem”

Huh… that was new… some cookies who might be able to help you out… only issue was that these cookies are some of the strongest in this game, or well this world you should say. So you were nervous about that.

A week went by the ancient cookie finally arrived in the cookie kingdom

You were nervous, an even a little scared

I mean these cookies could kill you if desired.

And you couldn’t even walk! So you couldn’t do anything against them!

When the ancients arrived, Pure Vanilla was the first to come into the room, along with Gingerbrave.

Dark Cacao and Golden Cheese came in next, followed by White Lily and Hollyberry.

Gingerbrave introduced you since you couldn’t talk

Now the vibe was meant to be nice and friendly, but it just wasn’t

It was VERY awkward

Now all the ancients had different opinions on you

Pure Vanilla wanted to help you get better since you literally couldn’t do anything but you couldn’t talk so he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries

Hollyberry wanted to lighten up you mood, so she told jokes and it worked for a little bit

Dark Cacao was very unsure of what to think about you. He’s not good with stuff like this

Golden Cheese was a bit like Hollyberry in a way but her jokes didn’t land that much

White Lily was very fascinated by your predicament. She has studied cookies for a while and has never seen something like this happen before

And Gingerbrave was there to have things to a bit more smoothly.

But in the end you guys didn’t get anything done. You couldn’t talk so it was to be expected.

The ancients bid you a farewell and left along with Gingerbrave

You were now alone…

It was the dead of night and you were reading since you were so used to staying up late and not sleeping, it was something you were working on.

But unlike all the other nights, everything felt off. Like there was a lurking darkness around you, it kinda give you anxiety.

No… not kinda…

It did give you anxiety.

You were reading when you heard your door open, and you saw a figure that resembled White Lily

You greeted her…. At least you thought you greeted White Lily…

When the figure responded, if definitely didn’t sound like White Lily

The figure stepped into the light and you froze in fear

Dark Enchantress was right in front of you

Now you were used to stressful situations but this was different

You were actively in danger.

You were going to scream before the sorceress shushed you

“Don’t scream. Im not going to hurt someone as pathetic as you.”

Ouch… but you weren’t in danger so that was good..?

Dark Enchantress told you that you needed to get up and walk. And without warning she pulled you up and got you to balance yourself

“Your not going to survive if you keep being babied by cookies. Now I’m going to leave you. Next time I see you, you better be able to walk”

And just like that she left.

You were left confused and started

And needless to say the next day Strawberry Cookie came into the room she had a heart attack since you were standing.

[butwhatifidothis]

I LOVED To Be a Creature, and it genuinely creeped me out to see the things Edelgard and Hubert said to Byleth (though it's the same as the game, stripped out of its voice acting and background music, the dialogue is so much more horrifying). Really makes me wonder if Edelgard's love for Byleth is genuine in any way. Do you think there's any real love there or is it just obsession?

Thank you!!! I had a feeling that placing Edelgard and Hubert's words in a context that isn't meant to make them look flattering would really let their casual racism shine, and I'm glad it's seeming like that is in fact the impression people are getting lol. SO sorry for the late answer btw 😭😭😭

As for whether Edelgard's love is genuine... I got opinions lmao.

got a bit long lmao under the cut it goes

If Edelgard felt the way she does for Byleth on exclusively SS and CF, I could maybe see how this is a "genuine" love (insofar as a love steeped in "I may hate your race but you're special and Not Like The Other Ones because I think you're special to me" can, uh, ever be genuine, in any case). But because Edelgard still feels as strongly towards Byleth on AM and VW where she quite literally never talks to them directly in any meaningful way, it becomes waaaaay more like she's just weirdly obsessed with this person who saved her one singular time ever five years ago from an attack Edelgard set up. It makes the "love" way more forced and contrived and obviously trying to squeeze tears out of the player for standing up against the cute girly trying to murder them. Or, alternatively, it makes Edelgard come off as manipulative, saying that she just wanted to walk with Byleth and it makes her so sad to HAVE to fight Byleth because BYLETH wouldn't stand by HER - and she's saying this on AM/VW to a person she's talked to in conversation a cumulative, what? Hour? Two? Maybe a few days, being nice? Over the course of, being as absolutely generous as physically possible and not counting the five years Byleth was missing... two fucking years? She's shitting herself over fighting this stranger she doesn't fucking know? Yeah, sure buddy, whatever you say - you see what I mean?

And honestly even outside of those two routes, I think it's more that she sees Byleth as being hers rather than actually liking them for who they are. A body to stand next to her and tell her how right she is and comfort her - who doesn't have the background of "I was literally raised to think this is my only purpose in life" muddying the sincerity of the brown-nosing - who also happens to also act as The Perfect Fighter and The Perfect Strategist to actively help her get what she wants. That view of Byleth being a tool doesn't really go away unless they marry her, seen by how they quite literally get nothing for all they've done for Edelgard should they go unmarried to a noble (guess they just weren't meritable enough once their use to her was done).

As well as how much more Edelgard doesn't like Byleth disagreeing with her or otherwise going against her flow than pretty much anyone else in the game - you lose supports points if you don't think the Black Eagle Strike Force name she made is good, she quickly denies the notion that Byleth isn't detached from others/emotions and insists they are just like she is, she gives them the same callous and thoughtless words she was apparently given once in her life while they are in the midst of mourning their recently murdered father so that they get over it already and get back to being useful to her (directly saying she will only reach out her hand when it's time for HER to move forward, not when BYLETH heals from WATCHING THEIR DAD DIE IN THEIR FUCKING ARMS MAYBE A WEEK AGO). She never treats Byleth kindly unless they do everything she wants, which like. Isn't love???? At all????

There's just this... weirdly possessive air Edelgard has around Byleth that always threw me off, especially with how easily she admits to have been willing to kill them so far into CF and how readily she cuts ties with them the second the fighting's done (which is particular because how just how clingy she was to Byleth everywhere else - you know during all that time Byleth had a use to her). Incorporating that into being an intentional part of her character is certainly interesting, but not in a way that's flattering to the idea of Edelgard genuinely being in love with Byleth lmao.

Personally tho, even disregarding almost everything else, the simple explanation is that I don't think you can really sit there and say you love someone while openly hating part of their racial heritage. Wild thought, I know lmao

[karlachismylife]

character ask thingy for konig, thank you sm I hope your day is going great! <3

Oooh, König! I'm not talking about him much on here, am I? Might have something to do with the betrayal of my friend whom I dragged into the COD fandom for my Karlach x Soap team or at least Ghoap only to lose her to the Ghost x König gang... (I'm joking, we're still having fun, ship whomever you want). Thanks for asking!! And also thank you, my days are pretty okay lately, hope yours are too <3

If anyone else is interested, I'll be glad to talk about someone else from COD and BG3. The game itself is here if someone wants to reblog!

So, König, the big Austrian that has literally a couple parapgraphs of bio on the wiki but a ton of fans to make up for it, eh?

favorite thing about them

I'll do two, because one is mostly canon based and the other mostly headcanon, but not fully. The canon favourite thing is that he's imperfect at his job. It's not just his size that prevented him from becoming a sniper, it also says he is "unable to stay still". I think it would be easy to make him a total machine and just slap the social anxiety on top as the only "imperfection" he has, especially since he is a minor character in a fucking pew pew ka-boom game. But they literally said he's actually not that good at his job (like, if he's unable to stay still, this won't impact just his sniper abilities, you know?). So that's neat, I love when people are allowed to be not that perfect at their job. And the favourite headcanon thing is that he's a gentle giant, I just love the type. Yeah, he's huge and kills people, but he'll also cradle a little bunny like it's the most precious creature on Earth.

least favorite thing about them

Uhh apart from the fact that people for some reason (ahem, racism) replace Gaz with him instead of just adding him?.. I think he either compensates for his anxiety or just feels much more confident at work and it makes him a little too cocky without needed (for me at least) charisma/unseriousness towards himself. Judging mostly from his body language. I know he has a sense of humour, but yeah... maybe calm down a little big guy.

favorite line

Any of the few lines in German he has. Or the "pick your guts off the floor", lol. I just like German and König is a funny fella, especially when he sounds angy.

brOTP

König x Gaz! There have been a couple arts on the theme and I absolutely adore them. Stop pretending they can't coexist! Also, Kyle would definitely find a way with words to make König feel more at ease off duty or would handle the way König is in the field easily.

OTP

I don't actually have any preferences at all, I like everything I see with him simply because people explore different dynamics and it's the most fun part for me. BUT I'll say like what I saw from Ghoap x König less because everything I saw puts Soap into a position/dynamic I don't really enjoy that much. Doesn't mean there isn't something I'll like a lot tho!

nOTP

As always, nOTPs are not my thing, but toxic stuff upsets me.

random headcanon

Also giving you two: he loves wearing lingerie but is a little bit ashamed of it and definitely hides it and he's generally a sweet tooth, especially for chocolate, so a slice (several) of good Sachertorte will make him really happy.

unpopular opinion

Uhh... he doesn't have a huge dick?.. No one in my universe does cuz I don't see the appeal (we have huge straps in my universe tho. but toys are separate). I don't know what's popular opinion lmao, sorry.

song i associate with them

Oooh, I actually have one this time! It's from my favourite German band Oomph! - "Kleinstadtboy". I like the whole album it's from because they experimented with their sound and quite successfully in my opinon, and this one has both the lyrics (yeah it's about gayyyys but also toxic masculinity in general. fits him well I think) and the according sound. The overblown dry electronics crackling/rasping just suits him, I think. I think he smells of static electricity too.

favorite picture of them

I don't really have one? But I like him doing different finishers. Looks impressive thanks to his size.

[rivkadreamer]

Push and Pull.

a/n: I actually have no idea what is this, I'm sorry. This was supposed to be a short drabble since I've been wanting to post something to Tumblr for quite some time and then...I got carried away, ahaha. Also I'm posting this through my phone, so if the formating is weird...ops.

Warnings: None, this is not proof read.

Genre: Hurt/comfort (?), light angst, fluffy at the end.

Summary: Scaramouche isn't the best with words, but for you, he's willing to tone down a little.

Alternatively: where his darling is fed up with his bad attitude and give him a scare to make him man up lmao.

Words count: 1.18k

Imagine Scaramouche with a significant other who does exactly just what he asks for.

He tells you to leave? Sure, right off the door.

He tells you to not talk to him anymore? Okay, you stay silent like a mute person until he cracks and asks you a question.

He tells your presence is annoying? Watch him crawl back after weeks you went aloof, ignoring his presence in your life. Begrudgingly, he will start to tell you that he had some matters to attend in the specific area he found you, acting like it was a big coincidence you two end up meeting.

It's not as if you don't know that most of the stuff he tells you, he doesn't mean it, not really. You do know it, but that's the thing.

You are a human being, someone who has it's own thoughts, opinions and feelings. And since the beginning of this relationship, Scaramouche made a point quite a few times to ignore it, not trying to apologize or understand that even if you know he doesn't mean it, his actions still might hurt.

How did you two even got in a relationship, in the first place? You, yourself don't know. Sometimes it feels like he sees you more as a subordinate than a lover.

That's when you started taking the approach to stop reading between the fine lines of his words, trying to save some face and dignity he stole from you by crossing and neglecting the boundaries of your good will again and again, discarding your words when you tried to talk to him about it.

Honestly, he's similar to kid throwing a tantrum sometimes. Except he just narrow his eyes at you or gives you a hard glare when you fail to meet his needs. Scoffing when you not bother to try to understand the hidden meaning behind his harsh words, everytime he throws them rudely at your face.

The day he finally got your message through that stubborn head of his, was the day he blew up at your face and took his rage out on you after a particular stress inducing week.

Screaming at you how useless you are, how he didn't need you by his side and how you were a nuisance for foolish thinking he needed some kind of comfort. He told you such humans silly rituals and interactions where bellow him, to just stop nagging him and finding something better to do if this was what you interrupted his work for.

You tried to reason with him, saying that being here for him was just what you were for, what lovers do, they support each other. You just wanted to help him.

Then, he told you that you could help him by getting out of his life, since all you did was get in his way, distracting him from his goals by forcing your unwanted affection down his throat. His words cut deep and managed to finally shut you up, much for his relief.

You noticed that and frowned. You knew he didn't mean it, you knew that. But there's a limit to everything and you have reached yours. Getting the memo that he wants to be alone, you quietly left his office and made your way to his Fatui headquarters, determined to once more do just what he asked of you.

Scaramouche's blood run cold when he saw the empty room, devoid of any of your belongings or clothes. Many scenarios took a turn to settle upon his head, making his thoughts scatter all over the place as the initial shock wear down. The likely scenarios of you being kidnapped or leaving and abandoning him as many others did in the past, always betraying on the bitter end of everything, left him reeling and fuming on the very same spot he lost you.

He frantically searched for you all over the place, sending his Fatui underlings to look through every leaf and hole around the area, not leaving a single rock unturned.

When he finally found you, he was seething with fury, eyes practically bulging out of his face as he angrily demanded to know with a dark voice just what were you thinking and how dare you abandon him just like her did.

Scaramouche righteous anger quickly died down, however, when you threw at his face the same words he spoke earlier on his spur of the moment outburst, reciting letter for letter the painful words he spat like venom at you, wounding your heart in the process. That's when he noticed the hurt flashing through your eyes, a hurt dangerously alike to his.

His face fell.

He was quiet for a moment. Digesting your words wasn't easy. Scaramouche was never good with feelings and he always runs away from whatever situations that require him to face with the complex bundle of emotions that swirls just inside him. They're the moments he's forced to face the fact that he feels just as much as any human he so readily declares bellow him, feels.

And he hates himself for it. It reminds him too much of the time he was but a wandering vagrant of Tatarasuna, eyes sparkling full of wonder and curiosity. In all his glorified naivety, hopeful and yearning for the love of a family he could never attain.

But he hates your absence even more. It exudes such a gruesome, hollow emotion, it brings a hateful sting behind his eyes. Bringing himself to sit down by your side, and for the first time in all of the duration of your relationship, admitting that he was the one in the wrong. He apologizes and begs for you not to go, to not leave him alone.

He truly doesn't know if he can outgrow the pain of being without you, and surprises himself with how earnest he is being, realizing in the process he's much more attached to you than he initially thought.

His own metaphorical heart quivers with the notion, drumming forcefully and shaking the electric cords of his handmade body to it's core. It scares him, the vulnerability of it all, right now feels the same as being completely naked before your eyes. But the fact that you were about to slip away from his reach was terrifying, so he presses on...

After this incident, his behavior do not do an whole 180° turn, but he mellows out quite a bit.

He listens now. He stops with the unnecessary rude comments and have actual talks between the two of you, paying attention to your body reactions to assure himself he hasn't spout anything harmful.

The most noticable change is how he looks more for you and, how he doesn't push you away anymore, when you come to see him. He doesn't outrightly say he enjoys your presence, but he doesn't put a tough facade just to drive you away and prove his point about being "superior", either. He's still serious, but gentler. A soft expression on his face that is reserved for you and these quiet moments with you, and you only.

Talking and communication are still a sore spot for him, being truthful and honest about his emotions not coming as naturally to him as it comes to you.

But he's trying, and for the time being, that's enough for you.

"Where are you going? No, you can stay. You aren't distracting me, how arrogant of you to think so. Contrary to the bumbling fools I hesitate to call co-workers, your presence is much more calming. I feel reassured when you are by my side, so stay."

There's a quiet murmur at the end.

"Please, darling." ~♡

End note: My first fic ever posted on Tumblr 🎉 (PS: I have no idea how Tumblr works LMAO)

[@rivkadreamer on Tumblr, please do not steal my works.]

[randomthefox]

(about the wildly inconsistent line) I understand you are annoyed with the complaints, hopefully you don't mind my two cents on this line.

Personally my issue with this line is well, I feel like the fanbase kinda ruined things like people complained about 2010's and calling it "meta era" (a name that I find really nonsensical) and yet glaze on Ian Flynn's writings when he does meta stuff like "sonic cycle" and "project remaster" just to name a few.

So when this line comes, I guess a part of me feels a bit throw out of immersion lmao.

Of course Flynn being the writer of frontiers certainly didn't help and thus feels like a doomer in my head.

Anyway these are my thoughts, feel free to disagree with me and sorry if I accidentally said something that might annoy you

have a nice day/evening.

I don't see how the fan base being a bunch of morons is somehow a problem with the game.

Tails ISN'T inconsistent. So the complaint about the line being some "meta acknowledgement" of Tails' bad writing doesn't make any sense. Because Tails isn't and hasn't been badly written in any Sonic game. The fact that MORONS think he was, and then those MORONS decided to act like some out of context line of dialog was some kind of acknowledgement of support to them isn't a problem with the game.

Those same MORONS also think that the game was some kind of redemption narrative for Eggmans character, which EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF OFFICIAL SONIC MEDIA PRODUCER SINCE has IRREFUTABLY demonstrated to be an incorrect interpretation. And those same MORONS also think the game "fixed" Sonic and got him "back on track" when Sonic wasn't written any differently in Frontiers than he was written in Forces or Lost World or Colors or Black Knight before that. So I don't see how "yeah well a bunch of MORONS were being MORONIC about the series" is somehow a valid criticism of the line itself or the game in general.

If I let what a bunch of MORONS think about Sonic influence my own opinion about Sonic, then I wouldn't enjoy literally anything about Sonic whatsoever. Because MORONS are MORONIC about literally everything regarding the franchise. Why do you give a shit what MORONS think? Why are you letting the voice of MORONS ring in your head while playing Sonic Frontiers? (You have actually PLAYED THE GAME, right?)

I have been very public that I don't believe Ian Flynn had much if anything to do with the way Frontiers was written. Based on everything he and Sonic Team staff members have said about it, and based on the comparison of quality between the games writing and the writing of the comics which Flynn has near infinite creative control over in comparison, it pretty much sounds like Ian Flynn wrote what Sonic Team told him to write. Everything that is in the game every line of dialog of the main story cutscenes is in there because Sonic Team wanted it in the game. I find the way both HATERS and PRAISERS of Sonic Frontiers act like this is Ian Flynn's game to be incredibly disrespectful towards Sonic Team and it frustrates me to no end.

You really think that Sonic Team had a line written and put into the game, and then rigged animated and voice directed the scene where that line was said, that was included to be some kind of dig against Tails's handling as a character BY Sonic Team in previous games? In a scene that was THREE CUTSCENES REMOVED from THIS scene, wherein they directly acknowledge and discuss the way Tails' character was written in Sonic Forces?

If you want to suggest that the "wildly inconsistent" line was some kind of wink and a nod to the audience about Tails's previous writing, then are you also then going to agree that THIS line of dialog is a direct CONFRONTATION of people's complaints about the "Sonic Help Me" scene from Forces? Am I allowed to say that this line of dialog is Tails looking at the camera and saying "I WAS EMOTIONALLY TRAUMATIZED BY SONIC BEING SUPPOSEDLY KILLED BY INFINITE RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES AND THAT'S WHY I COWERED FROM CHAOS 0 YOU ILLITERATE FUCKS"? If YOU'RE allowed to act like the "wildly inconsistent" line is some kind of statement to the audience about the franchises writing quality, then that means you will happily and readily accept my interpretation of THIS line and how it's telling everyone who criticized Tails in Sonic Forces to shut the fuck up and fuck off, right?

Frankly I don't care what people's reasoning is for why they think Tails saying "then I'm wildly inconsistent" is bad. They're wrong. Source: I played the fucking game and you didn't. End of discussion.

[bookwyrminspiration]

hello have you read that keefe rant if so then what's your take on it

I've only read parts of it, mostly because I felt it got repetitive. Of what I read I think there's parts with merit, some that are personal opinion, and some that I disagree with. (this is MY take, not an end all be all)

For example, Keefe does consistently violate boundaries and trust with little to no consequence. And he doesn't learn from those mistakes or feel bad--I brought this up while chatting recently, he's sorry that they (or more specifically Sophie) are upset by what he does, not that he did it. Which is not the same thing. It'd do him good to not be forgiven and be forced to really reconcile with what he did--I love when Sophie actually snaps back concretely. He's very self-focused and everyone around him has to compensate and account for reigning him in and dealing with the aftermath of his mistakes. They'd very likely be in a noticeably better position if it weren't for Keefe

There's a lot that's subjective--which the author disclosed at the beginning, so that's not a strike against her. Nothing wrong with that. It just meant reading through all the critique of his nicknames and potty humor were just kind of there. Like okay I see you really hate that👍. I did find several instances where I thought his jokes were taken with bad faith--like his joke about pushing Sophie off the cliff. Saying it's him admitting he likes making her uncomfortable feels like a stretch. He does say that, but using that joke doesn't feel like the best example to me. Or, this isn't a joke, but him not wanting to show Sophie his memory in Lodestar--I think spinning that as not holding up his end of the deal doesn't properly acknowledge that was a personal moment he was incredibly ashamed of. Of course he doesn't want to show her.

Then in terms of disagree, there's parts like the critique of Keefe's plan to infiltrate Ravagog. Which while, yes, incredibly stupid, feels like "why did this 14 year old make a highly emotional decision in a highly emotional moment >:(" type thing. Like yeah it was fucking stupid, that's the point. Same with his actions in Lodestar. He was desperate and thought he could do something and couldn't and caused a shit load of problems trying. All the slams to his intelligence I found tiring and overly mean-spirited (though to be fair, this was a rant); calling him dumb for lashing out and making mistakes during the worst time of his life (so far) sits wrong with me. There's critiques with merit, but the "lmao is he fr?? is he fr that dumb??" attitude is just like. Okay I'm skipping that.

Anyway. I do have my own critiques of Keefe, some of which the rant touched on, but I also think the rant has a bad faith reading/interpretation of several traits/moments. Kudos to the author for putting it together, and I respect her vitriol, it's simply not for me.

[willowser]

i received this lovely lovely lil thought from a lovely lovely anon in response to this question, and i think we ALL should get to enjoy it 🥹🩷

(Tw:Abuse / Manipulation (kind of; it's not overly gratuitous, but better safe than sorry))

Will! !! So I was thinking about your "would Bakugou chase after you, even after you're engaged" post (loved it! spinning it around in my head), and while I do think he'd probably let you go if you were truely happy with this other person, y'know what might change that? If this other person wasn't making you happy. (I’M SO SORRY FOR THE INCOMING WALL OF TEXT – please just delete if I’m being annoying!!) To explain; I think in this scenario, maybe you're still getting over a long-time unrequited crush (👀), and you're looking for something with a normal, sweet guy to help get over it. He's not the type you would usually go for, but he's nice enough (idk, maybe he has blonde hair, or red eyes, and maybe that makes it easier). And while you initially thought this would just be a short fling, it just kind of... gets away from you? A few dates turn into a few more, and then lots more and before you know it things are getting Serious. He's talking about moving in together, and you're taken aback by it (weren't you just starting to go out together? Isn't this too soon?). But it's not like you have anything real to complain about! He's not horrible to you or anything! He treats you well enough! It's just that you don't seem to feel anything... deep? for him. You don't daydream about a future together, you don't go out and wish he was there with you; Honestly, if he's not there with you, you don't think much about him at all (not the way you used to with him 👀). And hey, maybe sometimes (frequently) you end up doing things you didn't want to do, maybe he knows what to say to get you to acquiesce to his wants and needs, without coming across as manipulative. Or maybe you're just nervous! He isn't "rushing you long term commitments, which would dissuade you from leaving", the two of you are just caught up in a Whirlwind Romance! /Sarcastic. Being honest, that kind of thing grinds a person down after a while; you bend much more easily to his whims. He is, after all, so Normal and so Sweet - and how often do guys like that turn up? You'd be a fool to dump him now, now he knows you so well, and really. What are you expecting? Some Prince Charming(👀) to come and sweep you off your feet? Get real. So you get the flat together, and later on (though sooner than you'd like), you accept his proposal.

1 / 7 (I'm so sorry)

2/7 To my mind, this is the kind of diverging path for Bakugou. I think, if this was a genuine whirlwind romance, and it was recognised by the people around you, he'd probably back off. For all his brashness, he wouldn't want to hurt you by ruining your wedding day to the person you actually love. TBH I can kind of see him pining for you for the rest of his life, and hoping you become a widow/er so he get another shot to confess his feelings lmao. In that situation he could write off his own negative feelings towards your fiance as his own jealousy, right? If the fiance were actually bad for you, at least one other person from your respective friend group would notice. But!! I think that would change if his opinions were backed up by his friends (because it would demonstrate that it isn’t just his jealousy tarnishing his opinion of your boyfriend) Let's imagine that maybe he isn't the only one to think something Weird is going on. Maybe he's hanging out with Denki and Sero, because he's so obviously miserable about not confessing in time, and they're trying to cheer him up (it's been a month and he's mouldering. He is suffering). In walk Eijiro and Mina, who - while they were out getting snacks that Bakugou would never even consider eating if he wasn't in the depths of despair - just so happened to run into you and your new... boyfriend? Kind of? You seemed kind of reluctant to say the two of you were dating, but he seemed nice. Eijiro thinks he's kind of bland, and Mina knows you can do better (which she says both for Bakugou's ego, and because it's true), but nice enough. And you know, maybe, for the first time in a month, Bakugou stops sitting so rigidly. He doesn't slouch per se, no. He relaxes in the same way that tiger might relax before pouncing, in the way that a hunter might breathe out before pulling the trigger. A month of dating, and you still won't call the guy your boyfriend? When you'd introduced them to each-other (after your third date), Bakugou assumed it was his jealousy that made him hate the guy. Kind of boring, kind of pushy (a/n: no, he wouldn't clock the fact that he looks like off-brand Bakugou). He didn't think it would last too long, but it still felt bitter that that was the guy who beat him to the punch.

But seriously; a month of dating, and you still won't call the guy your boyfriend? That's... interesting >:)

3/7 So months roll by, and Bakugou keeps his eye on you. He flipflops between anguishing over his jealousy, and making sure that your “boyfriend” is treating you right. Of course, it’s made harder by the fact that he doesn’t see you that much any more. Your other friends notice it too; You’re not being kept inside your (shared) flat, but you always seem busy, and a bit tired. Ochako and Iida can usually grab you for lunch, Momo swings by your flat pretty often, but your social calendar seems so full now. Full of dates and outings with your new boyfriend. Apparently, you barely have a minute for someone you’ve been friends with since childhood.

It pisses Bakugou off to no end, but he’s keeping his distance (for now). Because the thing is, Bakugou – above anything else – respects you. If you want to waste your time on some loser, he’s not going to presume that he knows better for you! Bakugou’s many things but he’s not “fuckin’ presumptuous”. Besides, if you really were in dire straights, or needed help, you’d reach out. It’s not like you don’t still send him little messages every other day; memes you think he’ll like, little scenic photographs of your dates (conspicuously, your boyfriend is missing from every single one👀). He’s Fine. He can Be Patient. (Reader, he’s been seething for months).

4/7 HOWEVER. Flashing forward to The Proposal. I think it shakes him; firstly because the person he loves is getting married to another man, and he somehow thought you’d have ended it by now. But secondly because everyone else seems to agree that it’s weird! It’s way too soon for marriage to a guy that you don’t even seem to like all that much, and while everyone gently float their concerns to you that maybe it’s just a teeny tiny smidge too soon to get married (which you rebuff half-heartedly), the group-chat is popping the fuck off. It’s definitely too soon, this guy is Too Normal in a very weird way, they barely know him, the wedding is taking place really soon, they should stage in intervention (Eijiro&Tsuyu&Sero), they should kidnap you until you realise what a mistake it would be (Mina&Denki), they should kill him (Deku&Ochako&Iida), etc. It’s pretty weird, then, that Bakugou comes in as the voice of reason; you’re a grown up, and you can make your own decisions. If you really, genuinely want to marry him, that’s up to you; After all the freedom to make your own decisions comes with the responsibility to accept the consequences. (a/n: obvs it would be phrased in a far more Bakugou-esque fashion, but you get my point). So they relent, although they’re still concerned.

So maybe a few days before the wedding he sends you a message (because it’s tricky to get a hold of you in person); he just wants to know what you see in your fiance. He wants to know if you’re really serious about him, or if you’re just settling. It’s not phrased cruelly, but it’s blunt. The message he sends isn’t nice and sweet, but it’s honest, and it comes from a place of concern.

You read it and you don’t reply.

Flash forward again, and it’s the night before the wedding. Wedding Eve, if you will. Bakugou’s in a sour mood and tries to ease his pain by heading to a bar, but it doesn’t really get any better throughout the night. He’s conflicted now more than ever; Is this guy actually awful and bad for you, or is he just jealous? Is he not stepping in because he wants to be respectful of your wishes, or because he’s afraid that by doing so he’ll reveal his own feelings, and suffer the consequent (possible) rejection? Why didn’t he just tell you how he felt before this mess started? He has a few drinks to many, and falls into a dreamless sleep.

5/7 MERRY WEDDINGMAS. It’s the day of the wedding, and because of he hit the bottle too hard last night, Bakugou’s overslept (for the first time in his life, probably). He goes to check his phone – maybe he can still make it to the wedding the venue on time?-

TWO MISSED MESSAGES.

He didn’t realise, but last night you finally replied to his message: You don’t know if you want to get married to this guy.

It’s a long, winding message, but what it boils down to is this- You threw yourself into a relationship with someone you know you don’t really love (you like him well enough, but there’s no spark), because you’ve been spending years muddling your way through a hopeless crush on someone you think will never like you back. So you’ve let yourself go along with this guy, but now you’re on Wedding Eve, and you’ve never been so uncertain of yourself! Your fiance’s a sensible choice (He’s Bland, and he’s Pushy, but he’s Nice, and he’s Normal, but maybe you’re losing yourself in your relationship with him, but maybe you just have cold feet), but you’re not sure that you care any more, and it’s now or never, and it’s ‘You, Bakugou, It’s always been you’, and you’ve been too afraid to tell him, because when does real life play out like the films? When does the years long pining, the roller-coaster of emotions, the ‘I’ve been in love with you since the moment I saw you’, have a happily-ever-after in the real world?

The next message was sent a few hours later. Evidently, you’d calmed down somewhat, because you tell him that you’re sorry for sending him all of that on Wedding Eve, that you’ve had feelings for him for a long time, but if he doesn’t feel the same it would be the kind of closure you’d need to move on. If he doesn’t want to attend the ceremony, you’ll understand and leave him alone. But if he wants to “talk” (👀!!!), then you’ll be waiting for him.

Bakugou feels raw after reading your confession; All this time, and the two of you – despite sharing the same feelings – were so afraid, and for what? The relief, the fear, the hope, all spur him into action.

He’s hungover, he’s in his pyjamas, but all the same he’s rushing towards his expensive, fuel-efficient car as fast as he can, because he has a fuckin’ wedding to stop.

6/7 Meanwhile, you’re stressed, mentally twisting into knots. Bakugou didn’t even read the messages you sent last night, which is both a relief (now you can just get married and move on) and a heart wrenching disappointment (because if you’re being honest with yourself, you were hoping he’d stop you).

You’re wearing an outfit you don’t really like, and your fiance’s family are beaming at you, although you don’t really know them so well. The venue is pleasant but not what you would’ve chosen for yourself. As you walk down the aisle, the band sounds kind of off. Your family and friends are… what? Grimacing? Smiling? Both Smimacing? You aren’t sure.

The ceremony passes in a kind of blur, and you go through the all motions. Mostly, you think of the messages you’d sent to Bakugou. You’d felt so courageous when you finally – finally! - confessed your feelings to him, so hopeful that maybe instead of replying, you’d hear a knock at your door, and he’d sweep you off your feet and- then hours had passed without a word, and you’d been left wondering. Conflicted, and unsure.

As you wait for your fiance to finish his vows (that he wrote himself, but sound like he stole them from a Pinterest board), however, you have a mild epiphany. Did it really matter so much if Bakugou loved you back? Sure, it’d break your heart, but one day you’d heal from it. Besides, he wouldn’t want to settle for some nobody! Bakugou was loyal to his friends, and he wanted the best for them, and that was one of the things you loved most about him! Surely, you owed it to both him, and more importantly, yourself, to put an end to this madness!!

You steel yourself as it gets to That Part of the wedding. The officiant turns to you, and asks if you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband. You face your fiance, and open your mouth to say “Actually…. I DON’T” when-

The doors slam open, and who’s standing there in a matching pair of pyjamas, still holding his car keys? It’s Bakugou, and you only have to lock eyes with him for him to shout – in true romcom fashion – ‘I FUCKIN’ OBJECT’.

7/7 Everyone’s stunned, although the guests on your side of the venue look more thrilled than scandalised.

In truth, I wouldn’t normally peg Bakugou as the “Objecting at a wedding” type, but in this scenario – when the two of you have been pining for so long, when he knows you’d appreciate the spectacle, when he gets to show up that nobody who wasted your time for so long – I think maybe he’d make an exception. Maybe he wouldn’t make some long, protracted speech about how much he loves you, but he MIGHT run to the alter full tilt, and tell you that you’re making a mistake. I do think MAYBE he’d hold out his hand to you, a silent question in his eyes, all while your fiance sputters and rants.

Idk, maybe you say something to the effect of “Looks like he beat me to the punch – I object, too :)”, tell your ex-fiance you’re sorry, but you can’t do this. PERHAPS – after all of the years of wondering, and stressing about whether Bakugou would reject you – you’d just quietly take his hand. And maybe to two of you would scamper off down the aisle to the raucous applause of your friends and family, get into his hatchback or w/e, and drive off into the sunset, certain in the knowledge that – yes, there would be ramifications to running off together like this, but that whatever might come your way you’d face it together! MAYBE.

Idk, I just feel like if he was going to confess his feelings for you after you’d already been engaged, it might be in the form of kissing the back of your hand, pulling off your cheap, shitty engagement ring, throwing it out of the car window, and going for a long drive so you two can finally Talk.

Listen, this really got away from me, and I’m so sorry for flooding your inbox like this. I was just really caught up in the scenario, and wanted to share it with you. Much love 💖