#sorry if this isn't coherent

[sevens-evan]

i agree with you here. i'm actually not sure if you're adding onto the post or arguing but i am very sleep deprived so that's probably on me. but here's my thoughts on the idea of, like, men's support groups or whatever:

in a vacuum, it is not a bad idea for people with shared life experiences to have spaces to talk about those experiences, obviously. in reality, the vast majority of men's self-help spaces, content online, and what have you are recruiting grounds for the alt right. jordan peterson came out doing self help stuff for young men, for example. and these people often reaffirm the idea that feminism has 'ruined' women and made them unsupportive, as you said above.

but how do men fall into those spaces in the first place? i think it's worth pointing out men are often driven out of progressive and especially feminist spaces. a lot, and i do mean a lot, of men will come to their first insight about patriarchy and how it hurts them, maybe framed in imperfect language, maybe it's an insight that feminist theory has covered thoroughly before, and they'll try to share that insight within feminist groups or similar and be quite literally laughed out of there. this is something bell hooks talks about some in the will to change. i see it myself online all the time; some guy will say something about how it sucks that he can't talk about his feelings, and a bunch of people reply to it going "well whose fault is that???", meaning that it's men's fault and therefore his fault, and not a worthwhile feminist cause.

that guy is probably not going to be interested in thinking any further about patriarchy or feminism. trying to do so got him victim blamed and mocked. and when the jordan petersons of the world swoop in and go "you're right, women won't support you, and here's why", they're willing to listen.

obviously none of that excuses bigotry, or any negative action taken by these people as a result of being sucked into alt right thinking. it's also Mostly inapplicable in the case of trans men; it's a little difficult for us to turn alt right when they want us dead, too. not saying it never happens, just that we're probably less likely to do it than your average cis dude. but it does drive us, and the insight we have on gendered oppression, out of the spaces that need our voices most.

what this means, pragmatically, is that feminism has to take men's issues seriously. it has to treat our pain with dignity and humanity. we can't keep asking individual men to just "unlearn" toxic masculinity without confronting any of the systems which enforce it upon us (the vast majority of which include women, before anyone tries the "whose fault is that" line on me). on a philosophical reason as well, i think the idea that men's issues are men's problems to solve is a deeply antifeminist one, but that hasn't historically been the case pushed by feminist movements, at least the ones i'm familiar with, and i think it's more important to make the pragmatic argument. bigger tent, better progress and all.

and i think it's worth acknowledging that the "women won't support men" thing comes both from the right as a recruitment tactic and often from the left, from feminists saying "your problems aren't our problems, solve them yourself", which is. basically the same thing.

idk man i think that if you can read dozens and dozens of trans men talking about how their support systems abandoned them when they started getting too masculine on T or had top surgery or whatever, and queer spaces started treating them like threats or potential predators, and you find these stories going back to the 90s or even earlier, and you read all of that and come away thinking that there’s nothing wrong with how progressive communities treat men, you are just fundamentally beyond help dude. you don’t see us as people

[sharoo]

Self-knowledge as a theme in STP messes me up so bad, bros.

This all starts with how little the Princess can tell you if you ask her about herself. How little you can say about yourself, more often than not. Most of the time Quiet doesn't even know what they look like!

The Narrator makes it a point to make the Princess' cluelessness, her lack of self-knowledge, into deception, but really, both the protagonists don't know themselves. How could they?

The concepts of bounds, of something that isn't you, the distinction of "self" and "other", "you" and "I", the concept of something being not like yourself... this is the first time this deity which is now two has ever experienced it.

The Shifting Mound and the Long Quiet did not exist until the Narrator tore a whole into parts.

Now, this deity in twain has to reorient. It has only begun existing, it's not yet known itself. A toddler has to develop a self-concept, and the concepts of others.

Now imagine, for the first time in your solitary existence, that there is something that you are not. Unknowable, foreign.

What are they like, you think? Are they a friend? Should I get to know them? Are they a foe? I do not know them, I cannot trust them... Or can I?

This brings to mind, of all things, Contrapoints' video on Twilight, where she speaks about the concepts of Union and Division in relation to love. And while she speaks of it in terms of eros, it can apply here just as easily, romantically and platonically.

Love is the union of two beings. We love because something outside of us allows us to be more than ourself. In others, many seek that which they lack. We seek out people so that we may develop through our similarities and contrasts with them, to change an be changed.

We seek out people because there can be no I without a You. To exist in a void is not a fulfilling experience.

We cannot discover ourself if he have nothing that allows us to compare ourself. The mirrors elude us throughout the game, always leading to the princess - she is the only way we may know ourselves, the mirrors tease as they disappear. And at the end of the route, only then, can you see yourself, now that you have a complete knowledge of yourself in a given scenario, with a given persona.

Was the princess someone you decided to trust? Or to betray? Was she a foe? A friend? A nightmare? A victim?

You both try to find out who you are through your relationship.

The princess assumes many faces and attitudes in response to you, you assume voices and attitudes in response to her. You're two batches of clay shaping each other at the same time. It's almost like knowing someone your entire life, seeing them go through different phases as they try to find out their identity in the world, their place. The 5 routes, whatever they be, are your "adolescence".

And growing means you will hurt each other, intentionally or not. There will be fights, disagreements, there will be heartache, and comfort and love.

And everything will pass.

Shifty, before she's complete, before she discovers her godhood, makes this point so clear.

How could she not be kind to you? You are the only thing in this place that is not her. What reason could she have to hate you? To make the only friend she could have into an enemy?

That's why, at the end of every route, all hurts are forgiven. All the heartache is acknowledged, understood, and then she moves on. So that you may continue being together, so that she may see what else you do.

Even godhood can become a phase. The Shifting Mound recognises what you both were, but it need not be you unless you accept it. Because self-knowledge is unending. You are always changing, and you can always change.

You can accept being a god, and that becomes you.

You can reject being a god, and that becomes you.

You are by that point an "adult". The figure trying to dictate who both of you are is gone, and you can decide for yourself.

I think this is partially why I love the Leave with Stranger ending the best of all the endings. You begin it by avoiding knowledge of yourself and of another. The self can only exist as far as it is not like the others.

And you meet the Stranger, this being who knows so little about herself, because she too has been deprived of another. The route is quick. It really cannot amount to much, because if you don't know yourself, it's so hard to build a relationship.

But at the end, they've matured. You gave each other time to become fuller beings. You met this person again and they seem so much happier with themself than they were in youth.

I love how they say "We're just a stranger.", and the voices point out how it needn't be sad that you don't know her, unless you make it out to be. You can get to know them, the real them, and they can do that with you.

The way the Stranger speaks if the position of a God only underlines how much the heart of the Shifting Mound can understand self-knowledge.

They speak of how they feel themself be pulled towards taking the position of godhood, of being everything, yet find it confining. Restricting.

"We want more. We want whatever might be on the other side of this door. Something new, that we'll experience together. With someone who exists outside of us. Someone who can see us in a way we can never see ourself."

Self-knowledge through relationships and reflection on how you impact other people.

[earthtooz]

x : ABUNDANCE :*+ﾟ

in which: rin doesn’t know when to stop spoiling you and you don't know how to stop him either.

warnings: rich pro-athlete!rin, gn!reader- reader wears lip gloss and perfume but i am an avid believer that they are gn, rin is dramatic (tm), fluff, swearing. 1.6k wc

a/n: rin is a clown in my eyes LMFAO no but this was kinda self-indulgent and i just can't stray too far from itoshi rin before he inevitably pulls me back. haven't written anything for him in a while so it feels good to be back to my roots. also no i'm not off break lol i did say that i was still gonna write and come back to post hehe. ENJOY!! rbs appreciated !!

itoshi rin doesn’t know when to stop spoiling you.

and you didn’t know how to get him to stop spoiling you. you could never resist his presents no matter what shape or size, whether they were little nendoroids of your favourite anime characters to the latest designer bags, you would always accept them with a grateful smile. 

however, there’s always a tug of guilt at your chest that makes you little hesitant, not wanting rin to waste unnecessary money on you. yet whenever you make this feeling known to rin, he scoffs and waves your concerns off, ending the conversation there as he urges you to open his presents, more concerned about your reaction than how much money is being extracted from his account.

what’s the point of money if he can’t spoil you with it? that’s always been his philosophy. besides, it’s not like you’re forcing him to, so what’s the big deal?

if there was a certain brand of perfume you wanted, he was going to buy it. if you needed a bigger monitor then he’ll buy it. if you needed a streaming platform to watch a certain show on then he’d buy it too, not a problem. in fact, you’re sure rin is funding the spotify premium for your account because he got tired of all the ads he had to listen to when sharing headphones with you. 

despite rin’s insistence that he was more than okay to spend money on you, it didn’t stop the growing feeling of guilt festering in your gut. so eventually you stopped bringing up things you wanted to buy in front of rin, leaving to write them down in your notes app instead.

the pro-athlete doesn’t question the abrupt lack of complaints about things you needed to buy, leaving him blissfully unaware of the things you had been buying for yourself and him. 

this dance continues for a little and it’s not until date night three weeks later that he figures you out. you never stood a chance against rin’s perceptiveness especially when one of his favourite things to do was watch you get ready for said date nights, leaving it only a matter of time before he’d realise,

“looking gorgeous as always,” he compliments whilst walking up to stand behind you, dressed handsomely in a crisp suit with his hair swept sideways- a hairstyle he began to wore more often when he realised how often you stared at him during a boring sponsorship event which turned out a lot more eventful thanks to the simple hair change.

you smile at him in the mirror as rin places a kiss on the side of your head, hand going to your hip before situating himself on the bed, glancing down at his watch to check that you were still on time for the dinner reservation.

when he looks back up at you, his eyes zero in on the foreign lipgloss you were holding in your hands and the small smile rin wore falls into a scowl. rin knows he didn’t get that for you, and judging from the sleekness of the packaging, it looks new. he withholds his suspicions, brushing them off.

alarms blare in rin’s head again when he notices the foreign highlighter in your hands. contrarily, you remain ignorant to rin’s inquisitive stare as you lean in close to the mirror to apply the product, too used to the usual intensity of his gaze to bat an eye. 

the last straw is the perfume you use, spritzing it on your wrists, behind your ears and neck, doing a little fanning motion with your hands once you were done.

“okay, i’m ready, let’s go before we’re lat-” you say, turning around to look at rin, cutting yourself off when you notice the look of distraught on his face. “what’s the matter?”

walking over to where he sat, you leisurely lay your forearms on his shoulders, pressing a kiss to his cheek whilst doing so. the smell of your foreign perfume enters his nose and although it was a very nice and charming scent, the athlete’s nose scrunches in displeasure, eyebrows furrowing further. 

“do i have something on my face?” you ask, backing away. rin grabs your hands before you can stray too far. 

“no, not that,” he puts your hands on his shoulders again. “did you always have this lipgloss? and i don’t recognise this perfume.”

“oh, i bought it not too long ago.” 

he looks at you as though you’ve committed the most blasphemous offence against him, which, you did. “excuse me?”

“i bought it?” you reaffirm, a lilt of confusion in your tone. 

rin narrows his eyes, combating your confusion with scrutiny. “you bought it.” you nod. “with your own money?”

“duh.”

he exhales loudly through his nose and you can feel the judgement oozing off him. “no that’s not right. i have to fix this.”

abruptly swapping your positions so that you were now sitting on the bed, rin disappears into the bathroom, emerging with a pack of makeup removers before sifting through your numerous products, that look of concentration never leaving his face.

“we’re gonna be late, rin,” you say from where he planted you, watching helplessly as your boyfriend approaches to stand in front of you, crouching down to be eye level with you. rin takes out a wipe from the packet before gently rubbing it on your lips, touch contrastingly gentle to his fiery gaze. 

“don’t care. this is more important.” 

rin fiddles with the highlighter that he bought for you, opening it cautiously and using the same brush you always use as he carefully paints your skin with the glitter. it amazes you just how observant rin is as he traces all the spots correctly, knowing you down to of the most insignificant, tiny details.

he does the same with the lip gloss, opening the familiar bottle before putting a luxurious amount of the product over your lips. you don’t complain about it, not when rin’s nose scrunches in concentration and not when he makes a disgruntled noise because he overlined the lip gloss, wiping it from the corner of your mouth.

nevertheless, when rin pulls away, he admires his handiwork with a content grin, the scowl now fading. “much better,” he mumbles, grinning slightly. before you could say anything though, the athlete stumbles away to put your makeup away, returning with a bottle of perfume that he also bought for you.

“do not spray that on me. the scents will clash,” you threaten. rin blinks at you before grabbing your wrist, spritzing a small amount before repeating the same step on your other pulse points.

his actions were sweet and you understood that rin had good intentions, but through the endearment you felt for your lover, there is an undeniable feeling of dejection settling within you. “i liked the products that i bought,” you murmur, tone slightly downcast as you express your thoughts. “i like using my own money sometimes too, rin.” 

the smile rin wore falls ever so slightly as he looks at your somewhat-dejected form, crouching in front of you instinctively as to get a better glance at your face. 

“i feel horrible whenever you use your money on me. especially on things that are way too expensive and way out of my budget. i don’t want people- i don’t want you to get the wrong idea of us,” you confess the last part breathily, rubbing your arms awkwardly. “and i hate feeling like i owe something to you.”

“hey, you know that will never happen, we’re not like that,” he rubs a hand on your knee reassuringly. “i buy things for you because i know, and don’t talk about this lukewarm shit about ‘owing’ me. if anything i owe you for putting up with me.”

you let his words sink in with a sigh, focusing on the warmth of rin’s palm. 

“and i also buy things for you because you only deserve the best. none of that mediocre crap that anybody can buy.” 

“but what if i like the ‘lukewarm shit’?”

“then you need better tastes, but i guess i have no choice but to buy it for you.” he stands up ever so slightly to kiss you.

you back away, cutting him off with a press of your finger against his lips. “rin. no.” 

he gives you a withering glare for denying his affection. 

“that’s not the point. as much as i love and appreciate it when you do buy things for me, i would also appreciate it if you let me use my own money too.” 

the soccer player backs away, eyes scanning your expression to decide on what to say next. he sighs when he sees the determination in your face and like a dam giving out, it’s the first sign of rin’s stubbornness surrendering to your pleas.  “fine, i’ll respect your choice, but it doesn’t mean that i like it.”

you grin, pulling him back in for the kiss he wanted earlier, catching rin off guard briefly before his shock subsides, letting him melt right into you. your lipgloss was now effectively ruined but you didn’t have it in you to care much. rin could always reapply it for you. 

“but i’m paying for dinner,” he asserts against your mouth. 

“deal.”

you return home tomorrow to see the same products you bought for yourself on your shared bed. except brand new and still in their sleek packages. 

what were you going to do with rin?

[followerofmercy]

Oh my God I just realized the reason Arlecchino is Like That is because she's never known a parental figure as anything but an antagonist. Essay incoming:

I saw some really good analysis pointing out that Crucabena's existence was almost certainly a retcon for the Knave/Director of the House of Hearth's unforgivable behavior, and I agree. Nobody's ages make any sense without having to do a mental contortionist act and there was a distinct vibe of the Chasm Hearthlings being particularly brutal.

(That is part of why I don't usually get into super long-running stories. There will inevitably be some half baked ideas that you have to introduce early on for foreshadowing, but then the rest of the story moves in a way where there's a better option, and then you have to find a way to make the new idea work with the groundwork already laid. Personally, I think a footnote saying "We changed our minds - this is the edited version" is perfectly acceptable. A story is a conversation between the audience and author but whatever)

ANYWAY! It feels so fucking weird saying this because while I'm on the "they should be Worse, Actually" train 99% of the time, this is that 1% where I think Arlecchino being on the very very light side of morally gray makes for a way more interesting story than if they had've kept her true to the original idea.

I love evil women more than the next guy but I think the continued operation of the House of Hearth being a spit in the face to the Fontainian government and the Fatui and the idea of how a 'normal' family should look - because none of these kids are normal and that has directly led to their abuse - and that being a good thing is. Idk. Refreshing? I think it's a much more powerful message that Arlecchino was the only goddamn person that actually got results trying to do something about all these abused children. She is actually doing some incredible work in a terrible situation. In a world where these kids’ options are “being trafficked” and “Fatui pawns,” I think “Independent child soldiers operating under the Fatui banner but staying true to themselves” is a pretty damn good alternative. 

It’s also important that the rest of society’s lack of care is directly responsible for the continued existence of the House of Hearth as it is. I mean fuck’s sake, Fontaine has a community of people living in the SEWER. If there was a public orphanage that wasn’t operated by predators, I’m sure most children would be there instead! But no. Nobody wants these kids. And, God forbid Wriothesley decided to do something about being sold. The victim blaming is off the charts. There is no way for Arlecchino to operate peacefully within the existing system, so she made her own. 

So the actual point of this essay: It’s everywhere in Arlecchino’s story, dialogue and actions that she wants her children to support each other, but because of how Crucabena raised her, she can’t really envision herself as part of that family (even if she actually is part of it and the majority of the kids love her dearly.) A parent is something to be feared, eventually killed, and removed from the path of their successor. Everyone likes to highlight little Perurere asking if it’s normal for biological mothers and daughters to argue. On some level I think she knows it’s wrong, but still. Literally all she’s ever seen is a parent as an obstacle to overcome. None of the children in her care had good parents and, if they did, the parents are dead. 

(Also hot take that Crucabena probably thought extremely highly of Arlecchino and gave her special treatment. She felt that Clervie was holding her actual favorite daughter back. I imagine Arlecchino also has very complicated feelings in Crucabena’s role in raising her to be as strong as she is while also being an objective monster, but that’s a topic for another time.) 

Even Arlecchino’s constellation talks about her being alone while instructing her children to care for one another. That separation ties into her being outwardly contradictory about rules. In her story quest, she spends the majority of it aware that her children are disobeying her, but as long as she doesn’t catch them, she can’t rightfully punish them now can she? Now excuse her while she makes herself scarce so they can get up to their mischief. She lip services - and by that I mean lies - about the importance of rules. She Actively Encourages her children to disobey her so long as they do it smart, which is a way to teach them how to circumvent the unjust laws of Fontaine and the Fatui without getting caught. If her kids fuck up bad enough she’ll “punish” them before they get actually killed by something worse than her, and if they successfully trick her (with her blessing), then there’s a good chance they’ll live. (Or, yk, if they wanna leave she’ll let them asldfj) 

So, again, I'll keep preaching that Arlecchino's whole MO is that she is setting herself up as an antagonist for her children, and her children's allies, to test themselves against. She actively encourages rebellion against her, unfair rules, the system, the Fatui, Fontaine, etc, because that's how she survived her own upbringing and the only way she knows for her family to protect themselves. She is keenly aware that she is Not Gentle, Not Fair (even if I do neglect that part in my own writing), and that there probably is a better way to do things. That’s why she wants Lyney specifically to succeed her. She cannot envision a perfect Hearth with her in it because she is the Parent, and historically, Parents are obstacles to be removed. 

Arlecchino’s greatest wish as the King of the House of Hearth is to be dethroned, and I think that is WAY more interesting than the abusive, violent tyrant Hoyo teased at first.

[emme-likes-words]

If Kendrick Lamar can use almost the same beat and style in "man at the garden" as Nas did in "One Mic", then I can use almost the same beat and flow in "SPEND!" as Stupendium did in "Ad Infinitum".

Hey there, friend! Are you sitting on your own? Waiting for the end? Are you feeling alone? Here's what I would recommend:

SPEND!

Follow a trend that you pretend to comprehend! Transcend all your worries as you begin to depend! On a frontend! I intend to defend that you should tend to a page, and don't you dare unfriend, 'Cause you don't want to offend, So the truth you will bend!

YOU'RE A LOW-END COMMODITY!

Mend all your oddities! Never mind quality, think about the quantity! You've gotta be the one to win the lottery! Inequality increases with velocity but you don't care for generosity! Monotony is a monstrosity, atrocities are only comedy! Who cares about philosophy, autonomy or ideology? The world is a colony for pathology's methodology! Pay for your psychology! Technology is theology!

PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG!

And stand for the flag! It's nothing more than a rag! Buy a mag, don't check the price tag! Brag about the fact that your job is a drag!

YOUR SOUL IS MINE!

Get in line, pay the fine! It's my design! It's a sign! The divine is in decline! Your workplace is a shrine to the swine that dine and confine! Lose your spine to survive the benign!

DELAY! DENY! DEPOSE!

Pose to the camera! Gotta show off those clothes you chose! This goes and shows terrorist manifestoes expose the way the world will decompose, I suppose! Leave living to the pros!

PUPPET ON A STRING.

[auuwmk]

what kimcom was doing with the group regression was the same as what kdj was doing with twsa:

using all their knowledge of the scenarios and changing the course of the story

hsy literally takes kdj's role as the "protagonist" and kdj (49) gets sidelined -> kdj taking yjh's achievements and role as a protagonist and yjh gets sidelined (somewhat)

doing it to save someone and change someone's fate (because he deserves be happy, because his story shouldn't end this way, its just not fair)

[veifei]

xia fei is (was?) on scholarship for an applied physics course which means he must be fairly smart/hardworking — i wonder if he genuinely had passion for his degree but then reality sunk in (no money, trying to fend for himself alone in yingdu). or was he just going through the motions because he had a knack for the subject and thought it would lead to a good, well paying job.

other people only seem to fixate on his looks though, without recognising his talents. and he himself doesn't seem to like people pointing out his appearance. maybe after years of trying to prove he's more than a pretty face, he grows tired and concludes maybe his beauty really is the only thing that will get him anywhere in life

[jamandjazz]

I've been thinking a lot about Steve lately. I really like thinking about how situations and family dynamics shape people. These quotes specifically, "and Steve— his hatred for his father coming out in his soft, bitter voice and the violence of his temper" and "We never could tell who we'd find stretched out on the sofa in the morning. It was usually Steve, whose father told him about once a week to get out and never come back."

And I know how strange it feels to have parents that are shitty but give you a lot of things materially. He has a car and gets a lot of pity money but his dad never does anything but try to push him to the side and forget about him. There's nothing canon that shows his Dad physically abuses him in any way so there's a good chance he told himself to just be grateful he got so much and his dad wasn't 'that bad.' He's resentful and angry and impulsive and so damn complex and we should talk about that more.

"I thought of Soda and Steve. What if one of them saw the other killed? Would that make them stop fighting? No, I thought, maybe it would make Soda stop, but not Steve. He'd go on hating and fighting," Steve is described as hateful and angry but what else is there for him to do? He can't just leave, he's too attached to where he is but staying isn't good either.

He's mad at the world he was born into, who wouldn't be? Greasers get all the rough breaks but he can't fix that, he's just one kid. (Also he definitely feels like a character that thrives off of being able to fix things, cars, problems, anything that he deems needing 'fixing')

And despite his temper being a big part of his personality that's not all of it. He's friends with Soda, and likes to indulge him. He's got a dry sense of humor and cares so much about anyone that cares for him back. He's protective he's caring and sure sometimes that means he gets violent and angry but that's a lot of what he knows, he's so so so much more than just someone that's just mad all the time despite the fact that that's what he gets boiled down to a lot. In the fandom and in the book, honestly I think that's why he's so close to Soda.

Soda's good at seeing past that sort of thing, he's good and understanding and when your whole life everyone just dismissed you as the kid that was always mad for no reason that's so fucking refreshing. Being seen as more than just your flaws helps you feel human. Helps you remember you deserve just as much care and affection as anyone else, and seeing how the Curtis's treated their kids was honestly probably where a lot of the resentment for his dad started building up.

Anyways this is super long but basically Steve's super complex and I love him.

[oldworldghost]

Are requests still open? If yes could we maybe see a jealous P please? Like he’s learning his emotions and he learns he doesn’t like jealousy or something

Jealous Pinocchio! ☆

↳ Hello nonnie! Requests are indeed still open, and I love jealousy prompts >:3 also sorry to everyone who has sent in a request that I haven't answered yet, I have been sick and busy, well, playing the game </3 Under the cut because this is a long boy

➸ Okay so jealousy with Pinocchio obviously depends, much like you said, on how human he is; how much he knows about not only his own emotions, but emotions in general. It's because of this that, at first, there really isn't a lot of instances of jealousy on his part, and what instances there may be are not going to be immediately recognisable as such. And of course this is due to the fact that Pinocchio just doesn’t have a good grasp on his own emotions initially; he knows he’s feeling something and that that something is almost unpleasant, he just doesn’t know what to do with it or even what to call it.

➸ The main way jealousy at first manifests with Pinocchio is a little off putting, almost. You could probably mistake it for a sort of increased protectiveness; when he sees you talking to someone he stands close, glares at the other person or just watches like a hawk for the duration of the conversation. He doesn’t say anything or really do anything and it gets a little creepy. Don’t get me wrong, Pinocchio doesn’t mean it in a bad way whatsoever – he just wants your attention – but to everyone else it looks like he’s waiting for whoever you’re talking to to suddenly attack or something. It’s his eyes that do it, they’re so dead that is just doesn’t inspire any form of ease when it happens. Luckily, these instances are rare and fairly easy to handle. Just give him your attention and he’ll relax. And of course, as he grows this habit of his simmers down and changes.

➸ [Honestly though this could be so funny too because like, despite the fact that it’s both unnerving and rare I imagine that everyone would eventually end up catching on to what’s happening and god they have a field day with it. Especially Venigni. He doesn’t mean any harm but seeing Pinocchio look like he’s going to combust on the spot is a little bit funny. Do the rest help enable Venigni and this habit? Maybe, maybe. Eugénie is the main co-conspirator here.]

➸ As Pinocchio changes and becomes more human he settles into his feelings more, he learns and grows to not only feel them but process and identify them. And this, of course, goes for jealousy as well. Through both his own experiences and talking with humans Pinocchio is able to realise that yeah, he’s felt jealousy. That that's what that uncomfortable tightness was. However what is most interesting is that the more human Pinocchio becomes the more jealous he finds himself getting, and on a more regular basis. A part of this is because there is an increasing depth to his character and emotions, so naturally they grow more intense, but the more important part is the growing cause of his jealousy; that being his nature as both puppet and human.

➸ Now I do believe that Pinocchio never had an inherent desire to be human, and that it was something he strove to become because he believed that his father would want him as one, and because as a “special puppet” it would only make sense for him to try and change his nature. And so what Pinocchio was or should be never quite bothered him at first - more just filled him with a sense of confusion – but as he grows more human the more he genuinely wants to be one, and your relationship with him plays a major part in that and his jealousy. You see, Pinocchio wants humanity so he can truly love you, but it is this growing humanity and desire that places the weight of what he really is on him; a puppet and as such not enough.

➸ It is jealousy born of insecurity, the more he tries to change the more his faults become apparent to him. His perceived inability to emote, to understand; the disconnect between himself and you, the gap that Pinocchio wonders if he will ever be able to truly close. He is worried, very much so, about being replaced or cast aside, because if the choice came up between himself and someone fully human, well, why on earth would you chose him? This insecurity is only heightened post game, where – and of course spoilers – Pinocchio has been betrayed by his own father, the person he thought loved him despite his being a puppet. I don’t want to build it up too much, but being told you’re only there to be replaced and that you’re not enough by someone who you trusted has to leave its mark, especially when you share memories with the person you were supposed to be only to realise that they were never enough either. Like, yeah. Ouch!

➸ Of course as Pinocchios’ emotions grow so do the rest of his abilities, including being able to tell what he truly does vs doesn’t like feeling. He could always kind of do it, but now he is able to fully articulate the why of it, and jealousy has landed itself into the category of “I Do Not Like This”. Now that itself is fairly obvious, no one likes being jealous, but the main reason its there for Pinocchio is because it makes him feel bad, almost guilty. To him jealousy indicates a lack of trust in partners, but the kicker is that he does trust you. Despite everything that’s happened Pinocchio places his full trust and faith in you day after day, or at least he thinks he does, and on top of that even if you did end up finding someone better and/or leaving he would have no right to stop you. If you wanted to it would break Pinocchios heart, but he would let go because he would hate to try and control you; to force you into something you don’t want to be in. And so not only does his own jealousy make him feel bad but it confuses him greatly, because Pinocchio knows that he can’t control you and that he can trust you, so why does he still get that sinking feeling when he sees you with someone else? [It’s the unresolved issues, but you didn’t hear that from me]

➸ On a lighter note though, while Pinocchios jealousy is heightened and most frequent post-game it will naturally simmer out, much like how the whole protective-jealousy phase did. That is not to say that it is a fast process, naturally it is slow and time consuming - and that in part is due to simply how many things there are to do now that his father and Simon are dead - but with the support of yourself and a few makeshift therapy session with Gemini and Sophia [i.e. literally just talking about what he’s feeling], it ends up being something that he can handle a fair bit better than before. Still a slow process, but manageable [also PAUSE imagine Gemini on a table and Pinocchio laying on a couch like they’re actually in a therapists office with Sophia taking notes].

➸ Anyway yes, the main thing that helps is through talking to you. It gets to a point – and rather quickly at that – where Pinocchio finds that he just really needs to tell you what he’s feeling. He feels bad about it, of course, but I think what he really needs to be told at first is that it’s just natural. People get jealous even if they don’t want to or mean to and sure maybe not like he does, but that is something that can be worked on. Pinocchio needs support in his own ways and for his own things, even if he might not necessarily want to admit it, but luckily Pinocchio can also a very transparent lover, especially after becoming human.

➸Okay to drag this whole thing on let’s back peddle a teeny bit. How jealousy manifests at the heightened point actually shares similarities with how it initially manifested. However instead of coming off as protective it very obviously comes off as jealousy mixed with something akin to fear, for reasons already discussed. He also develops the habit of just quite literally pulling you away from whoever you’re talking to and taking you somewhere else. Pinocchio does this under the guise of “I’m human now so I want to spend as much time with you as I can to bask in it” but it is very obviously just Not That. Or more not fully that, anyway. It does retain a little bit of the humour it originally had, and yes there’s still a little bit of poking fun and riling him up [especially from Venigni] but that is rare, mainly because it’s kind of also just sad that he feels the need to do it after everything they’ve all been through together. And Pinocchio knows rationally that none of them are going to try and “steal” you off him, for lack of a better word, but that rational thinking just doesn’t help much here. However this is also not the only habit that develops, sometimes Pinocchio will simply avoid you for a little, a sort of self pitying isolation mainly because he doesn’t want you to see him upset or jealous. None of the hotels residents know which one is worse to witness, honestly it might be a tie.

➸ Okay so on an actual actual lighter note [and because we cannot be here all day], once both Pinocchios’ relationship with his humanity is better his jealousy becomes something fairly rare, much like at the start. And by that point Pinocchio has also come to terms with it too, it’s a part of him he can accept and make peace with. After this, a lot of instances of it are just kind of cute. Like I will be absolutely real with you he is playing it up to get your attention; you’re getting puppy dog eyes, pouting, and in private Pinocchio’s going to go on some very light hearted spiel about how you no longer love him, all “woe is me” on you. As a human Pinocchio has grown a rather mischievous and sassy yet still gentlemanly personality and it so fucking shows here. A lot of these instances of jealousy are caused by, you guessed it, Pinocchio not getting enough attention, which is a little funny because by this point he’s very able to be alone by himself for a while. The other instances are people just getting too close [i.e. Venigni and Eugénie] or things of that ilk.

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

okay just because I'm losing my mind over Major Anthony Havers and the very horrible, bad, not good day:

I'm still kinda glad that he was there witnessing Cap's death. And not solely for the Captain's sake.

I mean Cap was not really subtle about his affection and yet when he said "I say, Havers!" my boy almost gave himself whiplash (I made a long as post about what follows before but let me just summarise). Havers looks at him expectantly and when Cap doesn't bring up the courage to tell him how he feels (two times in a row at that), Havers looks dissapointed and crestfallen but manages to keep a stiff upper lip.

In short he suspected and reciprocated but from what we have seen he never really got a real confirmation about Cap's feelings for him.

(Tbh I still think he would have been so so tempted to stay if Cap had said anything)

So now skip forward a few years. The war is over, Havers got wounded at the front line, he has to attend an event and then he sees Cap.

The man who corrected his "I shall miss you, Havers" , who tried to confess something but didn't, Mr. 17 points on the agenda, his stickler for rules and authorities Captain broke into an event, stole some medals and is clearly there looking for and trying to talk to Havers. Years after they have last seen each other.

And I think in that moment Havers got the confirmation he wanted. So when Cap tries to finally vocalise it, he stops him because 1.) The man should really not waste breath right now 2.) They are in danger because of where they are and whom they surrounded by and 3.) He doesn't need to say it. Havers finally knows what he kinda knew all along. What Cap just did to get to him speaks louder than words and it's finally a clear confirmation on how Cap feels.

And then to go even further Cap adresses him by his first name. Not his rank, or his last name. He adresses the man behind the uniform as an equal. And Havers does the same. No Captain, no Sir, just the name of the man he loves who is now dying in front of him.

And it's heartwrenching and horrible to think about but we all said that at least Cap died knowing that he was loved.

And that's why I'm a bit glad about it happening that way because now Havers has some closure as well. He can now live his life after all the horrors at least knowing that yes he was loved through all of it.

[aster-draws]

YOU.

I cant even begin to formulate a sentence to convey how much i adore better halves. I even started writing my very first fic beacuse of it.

On that note: i have no clue what I'm doing. Any tips for writing? I'm thinking specifically when it comes to dialogue, but any and all advice is appreciated!

consider me pinned to the floor like that one cat with the onions (sorry it took so long for me to reply- work school adult responsibilities ect)

Wow I'm so happy to hear you started writing! Genuinely it brings me so much joy and to know I'm inspiring others is like. you know. tear jerking or whatever.

I don't really have many tips apart from like, the fact that it's the same as any other skill, right- you're gonna suck at it a little at first. I wrote so much crap by volume it's insane. If you don't believe me there is evidence way back on my a03 page (and there's a lot more that isn't. hundreds of thousands of words in my google docs). Sometimes I still feel like I'm just writing trash. so you just keep on trucking and then it gets more and more decent. until eventually it's like. good. ish.

As for specific advice with dialogue- I talk through my stuff all the time. i read it out loud to myself and also anyone who will listen. I feel like better halves specifically takes a lot of cues from like early 2000's rom coms, specifically in dialect, most of MY favorites of which are adapted from shakespeare, and so I wouldn't exactly call the way they speak natural, if that makes sense? People don't talk like that. But I think it's fun and genre. But even with that, there's a lot of more of it that is? I just hear them in my head.

So yeah moral of the story is to just write all the time and read it out loud if you're not sure. It's gonna be a lot faster to figure out what's wrong than to figure out the way to fix it. The best advice I have for how to develop an ear about it is to read. A lot. The more you read and the more variety you read the better your ear/eye will get for it. unfortunately this means reading a broader variety of stuff. i read a lot of fanfiction, but also literary fiction, classics, non fiction. don't get stuck by genre and push to read more difficult things because it really can change the way you think and approach your own work

yeah xo you're gonna create amazing things I believe in you.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Could you elaborate more on akutagawa bringing out atsushi's cruel side and atsushi bringing out akutagawa's kinder side? Despite everything i do think there were moments where atsushi held akutagawa's strength in high regard and felt inferior to him but denies this by constantly mocking akutagawa and reminding him that he lost in their first fight. Ngl i really love how atsushi can be himself around akutagwa, he doesn't need to be the atsushi that everyone loves, he can be the atsushi that only he can love 😭

Okay I've talked about this plenty so you might want to check out these posts (1) (2) (3) (4); on Akutagawa's good nature (1) (2); on Atsushi's mean nature (1) (2) (3)

My final take is: it's true, Atsushi brings out Akutagawa's kind side and Akutagawa brings out Atsushi's cruel side. But it shouldn't be left at that, risking of running into the error of reducing their relationship to an oversimplifying formula. It's true, Atsushi is mean around Akutagawa and Akutagawa is kind around Atsushi; but what we should really focus on is the fact that they manage to bring out a side of each other that other characters don't. Which is a good thing! It means that they can be their true selves, letting go of the fear of judgement and abandonment, because they know they're okay with each other. And I'm positive that yes, although it initially manifested with Atsushi being straight up a jerk to Akutagawa, it's not going to stop at that; because if it's true that Akutagawa brings to light facets of Atsushi's nature that don't usually emerge, it's also true that Atsushi's true nature isn't all evil and nothing else. First off, Atsushi is also manifestly more confident around Akutagawa, he's more brave and cool. He's sassy and sharp, he's blunt and stops overthinking things. Who knows if, once he's grown more affectionate of Akutagawa, once he's changed his mind about him, that will also translate in him being more open about how much he admires Akutagawa? Personally, I like to believe it will (Atsushi's love language being words of affirmation which is exactly what Akutagawa needs, eheh). After all, the “If you asked me, I'd say Dazai-san has already recognized you long ago” (which I've said, probably made Akutagawa fall right then and there) likely didn't come from a place of high esteem as much as it was just Atsushi honestly expressing his thoughts, unfiltered in front of Akutagawa. Then, just think of what he could tell him once his feelings for Akutagawa have morphed from simple animosity to something positive!

To me sskk really is:

It's unpealing each layer till they're completely naked in front of each other, but God knows if having someone they can be utterly vulnerable with isn't exactly what they need. And yes, that started off as Atsushi being extremely rude to Akutagawa, but I'm sure it's not going to stop at that. It's going to develop in Atsushi being comforted by Akutagawa saying “do we need any more?” because having each other is truly all they need, and it's going to develop in Atsushi softly smiling at Akutagawa because no one else could make him feel safe and serene as he does.

[yoo-joonghyuks-big-naturals]

Forever mad about how little background we get for the bsd women. Margaret says she wants to restore her family's honor but we have no idea what happened with her family, or why she chose to do this herself. We have no idea why louisa joined the guild or what her life was like before it. Kouyou is literally one of the highest ranking members of the port mafia and we only have crumbs of a backstory for her, and none of it mentions how she got to be where she is now. Gin is one of the only prominent characters with no special ability and is part of the black lizard, yet we have nothing for her backstory despite how much we have for her brother. Naomi is in a similar situation. Several characters, including Higuchi herself, have mentioned that being in the mafia doesn't suit her, yet how did she get there? We have no knowledge on her ability beyond knowing that she has one. And she has a sister! That she lives with! Does her sister know anything about all this?? Haruna has no special ability (that we know of) yet ended up not only in the ada but also being the one natsume chose to stay with (at least for a period of time). And even among the women that do have more fleshed-out backstories like kyouka, lucy, teruko and aya, there's still plenty of gaps that could be filled in/expanded upon. Yosano has the most detailed backstory but even with her, I still feel we could have some more (and in my humble opinion, we could have dwelled on her backstory at least a little more). I just!! I'm tired of the 5d mental chess games. I want to see the ladies get some backstory

[mothsintherain]

listening to malevolent with my friend (its her first time) is the funniest shit

she sent me this in the middle of part 40:

and then an updated version when noel got shot:

needless to say she was not too happy about it. i still have all my limbs (for now) which i am quite grateful for

anyways watch out fanartists powerful competition is coming your way

[owlyflufff]

haikyu's dumpster batte is only going to be around 1 hour and 24 minutes, oh it's genuinely bokuakaover

[batbeato]

Brief rambling about intersex Erika. This is a headcanon of course but the way she's so short despite being Jessica's age (so around 18), artists often drawing her with a flat chest (this varies, some official art has her with large breasts)... Her sexual trauma ties into this headcanon for me too, the way she seems to see sex only as an act of coercion (Natsuhi/Kinzo) that's "naturally" what happens between a man and a woman, and as a tool of control and violence (Erika/Battler). Not only because her boyfriend was probably abusive in general, given that he tells her to kill herself and insults her, but because intersex bodies are seen as less desirable and her boyfriend doesn't seem like the type to affirm her beauty or to learn how to have pleasurable intercourse with her if her body doesn't function the way a perisex woman's might.

It all fits together nicely for me to see her as intersex. Which also ties into how i write and view her relationship with Beatrice/Sayo (in shipping and otherwise) and with Bernkastel. Rika had some strong theming about being stuck as a child, pre-pubescent but longing to grow up and 'become a woman', which also lends itself to intersex lenses, and how that spills over to Bernkastel who is often drawn as still very short or even doll-like, still denied womanhood...