#sorry if this doesnt make sense i just woke up like a half hour ago

[scariercnidaria]

another kerapin modern au where lapin is a medieval history professor at a uni and keradin is a financial lawyer who took one of his classes because he was interested in the crusades and he needed a history credit 8 years ago. he ended up dropping the class after a semester and a half at his therapist (pastor) (who just so happened to be a friend of the police officer assigned to the case) polite "suggestion" (restraining order threat), after developing a bit of a psychosexual obsession with lapin and doing a little trolling (targetted harrassment/stalking). in the interim keradin got another therapist (real one) (court mandated) and is on mood stabilisers now but still has not stopped seething about professor cadburys evil woke cultural marxist agenda.

lapin in this scenario is living with amethar in theos Eternal Bachelor Pad. he was living with amethar and caramellina (with reduced rent in exchange for tutoring jet and ruby who are probably like 14 in this scenario [so sorry for de aging them all a little bit i know im committing old men yaoi crimes it just makes slightly more sense this way. itd still be like. lapin 56+, keradin 31, amethar 44, theo ~46, caramellina 49]) until The Divorce (over finanicial disputes - amethars business is crumbling and is bringing caramellindas down with it as she just cant keep funnelling profits from her business into amethars in order to keep it afloat any longer; amethars purported unfaithfulness is not really an issue here because um This is just politics).

theo is trying to find an excuse to kick lapin out without making amethar feel worse about the situation but the only thing he has on him is that hes a bitch and smokes weed outside the laundry room sometimes but its been legalised and anyway lapin is never late on rent cause he has like 700 jobs (on top of being a history professor, lapin also has a side hustle leading bdsm/consent workshops at the library and also moonlights as a professional dom at a local sex club) (he also is still tutoring jet and ruby (for money this time) and has a positive relationship with caramellinda (they bitch about amethar) but she wont let him move back in because she "needs space"). theo thinks they have a weird gay thing going on (and hates it) and lapin is aware that theo thinks this and plays into it (because its funny) (and also hates it)

meanwhile in the keradinosphere, he has been consistently working ~60 hour weeks at his one (1) job at the same law firm for the last 5 years with no (0) promotion. his life is literally: work (10 hours), gym (2 hours), commute (2 hours each way), doomscroll on The App (5 hours), sleep (3 hours) every day forever.

on saturdays he works from home and on sundays he has church and then spends 3 hours sitting on a bench at the park "chilling out" (staring into the distance) (he doesnt own any books) before going to his court mandated weekly therapy session. his apartment is a textbook r/malelivingspace populated with an absolutely obscene collection of anime posters, lifting equipment, nerd shit replica medieval weapons or something and also an ever-rotating cast of Windowsill Plants Of The Month because he cant stop accidentally killing them and bursting into tears. his therapist tells him this is progress and that his drywall & security deposit will thank him

at some point some disaster hits keradin or something and they make him take sometime off work, and strangely without spending 10 hours under high stress bullshit every day + some melatonin he is actually for once in his life able to get more than 3 hours of sleep per night. at the same time, keradins The App experience starts being psy-op'ed by a memepage called xXsugarPlvmF4IRY_ who has infiltrated his niche internet tradbulb /fit/ microculture and begun flooding it with """ironic""" grecian gay sex "RETVRN" propaganda. this is a big hit as far as engagement among terminally online perpetually enraged historypilled incel-adjacent men such as keradin, and 6 hours of seething at ancient femboys combined with 8 hours of sleep and his brain unshrivelling somewhat results in him starting to have Gay Sex Dreams, which metastatises into him having Regular Gay Thoughts in the conscious world. he is too mortified to tell his pastor (because it is a liberal church and hes worried hell be supported) so he tells his therapist instead in hopes that they will recommend conversion therapy.

spoiler alert they dont. they encourage him to test the waters at his own pace by passing him a flyer for a consent workshop at the library later in the week in hopes that it will help him Get Comfortable With Sex As A Concept. keradin shoves the flyer in his sock drawer hoping to ignore it but is so haunted that he stays up all night doing some inspired googling and eventually learns about bdsm and is like woah! just like bulbo from my self-flagellation! he tries his best to resist the urge but he cant stop thinking about it and hes found he quite likes getting 8 hours of sleep and this New Stress is compromising that. eventually he looks up the number for a local sex club and books an hour and a half-- the following day, so he doesnt have time to chicken out-- with "father candi" (priest roleplay) ($120 out of pocket) (he tries not to think about having to face his actual pastor after this).

keradin goes there and surprise surprise its lapin.

keradin thinks he seems a little bit familiar but he cant quite put his finger on from where... so he discards the thought, and lapin straight up doesnt recognise him either so it all goes ahead.

lapin asks about boundaries and keradin is like "what are boundaries" so lapin spends the first hour and 15 minutes explaining boundaries and trying to get keradin to come up with something, anything dear bulb please. eventually they settle on a very rudimentary list and lapins like. ok that took ages we have 15 minutes left if you want to try and scene and keradin made it this far he isnt going to leave without at least trying gay sex It Would Kill Him. so they do an incredibly light d/s scene involving a confession booth or something and keradin comes within 2 minutes and then hits lapin with the old "if by my life or death i can protect you i shall". and lapin is like. um ok. thats nice. your time is up tho do u want a warm wet towel and a glass of water. ok. cool (<- his ass is clocking out immediately)

keradin immediately goes home and books another time slot precisely one month to the hour after the last one. during that month he goes back to work, is assigned to do some donkey work noone else wanna do on some fraud investigation around some local failing businesses, replaces his windowsill plant again, spends marginally less time on The App and somehow manages to look his pastor in the eye. he doesnt tell his therapist about the experience but they do ask how the consent workshop went and keradin lies and said it was good it was interesting and they ask like is that it so he badly paraphrases something lapin said about boundaries to get them off his back. they give him a flyer for the next one and keradin still doesnt go.

the month passes and he goes back and has another epic gay sex moment with father candi. and it becomes a regular occurance. every month, on the dot, like clockwork. for a while keradin is fucking crushed under the pressure of trying to come up with a non-gaysex reason for why he has to leave work before 7pm for once every month on the exact same day but nobody actually cares enough to ask him. and hes relaxed. hes not on The App. his windowsill plant lives for 2 months this time. so its just. like. good. its just a good situation.

...maybe too good.

[EXTREMELY LOUD BULBIAN GUILT SFX]

lapin, largely unaware of this, thinks the whole thing is pretty amusing. he knows that keradin works some stuffy office job and has some major religious hangups but he mostly just wants to be beat up a little and then praised and he always walks out 5gorillion % less stressed than he came in and its like ok. lapin can do that. its literally the least weird thing anyones ever asked him to do in a scene. yeah keradin is hot but mostly lapin wants to put him under a microscope and study him like a bug. its like having a favourite customer. he doesnt really think about it outside of when he knows its coming up its literally not that deep.

besides, he has other things to worry about like more pressingly: that amethar is being investigated by the IRS for being bad at running a business and if he goes to prison then theres no way theo will let him keep staying at his flat (the novelty of playing along with theos "weird gay thing" suspicions wore off, like, so fucking quick). he could go stay with his old scene partner "sugar plum mommy" but her whole place looks like serial experiments lain and he will not be able to grade papers over the sound of her bumping grindcore out a subwoofer she stole from a nightclub 4 years ago for 13 hours straight while she joshua citarellas the target audience for europa universalis into getting gayer than they already were.

meanwhile keradin literally cannot stop thinking about hot gay sex gay religious old man sex in your area click here right now and he feels crazy wazy and conflicted and awful about it and on the verge of getting psychosexually obsessed again. he decides to bring it up with his therapist finally because what are they gonna do? court mandate that he gets More Therapy? they end up being like ok yknow what would be really good for this actually is if you Went to the consent workshop ive been telling you about all this time. it would definitely help. its at the library its free. theres one in 30 minutes. ill drive you there (maybe not precisely).

either way. keradin goes. and guess whose fucking running it.

keradin stays but sits in the back and only feels slightly awkward but for once its like. no this is. it would be a good thing if father candi saw that i was here. i am listening and learning.

and he sits there.

in the back of the library.

set out like a lecture hall.

listening and learning.

and it slowly dawns on him exactly why "father candi" seemed so familiar.

[im-a-goddamn-cat]

Normally I don't get involved with fandom drama (sorry, that's probably not the right word for this but idk what else to use) but I saw the replies/comments on this and just wanted to say something: Both sides here are correct; not everyone against Annie and Negan's relationship is racist but also there is some racism in the way that some people have reacted to it. I do disagree with the way anon worded it as not EVERYONE who disagrees with the relationship is racist/because of racism but I have seen some racist comments in response to them just like I've seen in response to Rick/Michonne and Carol/Ezekiel sometimes so there is no denying that racism does play a part sometimes. Personally, I'm neutral on their relationship; I do like Annie and I think she and Negan are sweet together from what we've seen but I also hate that they just threw her in without any sort of backstory or build-up to her or their relationship, so I can see how some people would be fully against it in that aspect. Would people accept it more if Annie was white? Possibly, sadly it wouldn't surprise me if so. I would feel the same either way and so would some other people and some would still be fully for or against it but I know that there are also those out there who, whether unintentially or not, would react more positively if she was white.

But basically, the tldr of what I'm trying to say is, both sides of this argument are correct; some of the hate for Annie and Negan's relationship is indeed because of racism, but also, not everyone who is against it is because of racism/racist reasons.

I'm still convinced anyone that hates Negan with Annie is racist. If Annie was a young white girl, they would be going crazy for the relationship. This fandom has had a lot of issues with racism. Michonne & Rick, Ezekiel & Carol, Annie & Negan.

[thewritetofreespeech]

Can you do a scenario Obey Me were MC has a accidental nip slip that she doesnt notice, but the brothers do.

For the sake of an even playing field, all 7 boys will be reacting to the same scenario: coming to wake MC up in the morning for school only for their titty to be half out.

Lucifer

His knock was polite, but stern. Three short raps, followed by a long pause, before he let himself in. “[Y/N], I have to insist you get up now. You will be late for classes.”

You groan and cruel further into yourself under the covers. Trying to hold on to your sleep, but it was already slipping away through your fingers. With a huff you uncoil yourself and come out from under the covers. “Alright. I’m up.” You announce. Awake but still dreamy eyed as you rubbed the sleep from them.

When your eyes refocus, you see Lucifer staring at you. His face it’s normal placid expression, but definitely staring. “What’s wrong?” You ask. Was your hair some sort of crazy way?

The demon smirked and walked over to you. You blush as he came close to your bed and bent over, rebuttoning your pajama top that had come open in the middle of the night and left your left side exposed. How embarrassing?!

“Perhaps I should come wake you up more often.” He said with a sultry smirk. “Or at least not on a day when you have school. Now, I must insist you get ready. Our model exchange student can’t be late for their day.” He gave you a peck on the cheek and saw his way out. You have to wonder if he was really going to ‘wake you up’ on Saturday…..

Mammon

The loud sound of your door being flung open startled you from your sleep, and practically out of bed. “Hey, hey, hey! Time to get up sleepy head!”

“Mammon!” You growl from under the covers. “What the hell are you doing?!”

“I came to wake you up. Lucifer told me to make sure you’re ready for school. Even Belphie beat you downstairs. Come on. Chop chop!”

You groan and fling your covers off. Sitting up to scratch your head. Hopefully your day was more peaceful after this.

“[Y-Y-Y/N]! What the hell?!” You look over at the demon who had gone from horribly confident to horribly red & stammering in a matter of moments. “Do you always sleep like that?!”

You look down, trying to see what the big deal was, and realizing your chest was exposed. “N-No! It just came off in my sleep! Who are you to judge anyway?! You sleep naked!”

“Yeah! But not with anyone around!”

“You’re not supposed to be around!” You pick up a pillow and toss it at him, which he easily dodged, before shouting, “get out!” The demon did as he was told and scampered off, like a rabbit with his tail on fire.

He avoided you for the rest of the day. Making eye contact but fervently darting his gaze away. Mammon finally came up to you after dinner to apologize, and promised that if he had to wake you up again, he would knock first.

Levi

You were dreaming about pancakes when there was a knock at your door. Quiet, at first. Almost like someone’s knuckles barely touched the door. Then they knocked again, seeming to realize that the first few knocks were no good, knocking with confidence.

“[Y/N]-chan? Are you awake?” You open your eyes from your blanket nest to see Levi poking his head in. “It’s time for school.”

“Oh…yeah…” You yawn after that. Cutting off whatever else you were going to say after that. You shouldn’t have let Levi talk you into watching an anime marathon with him. You’d only gone to sleep a few hours ago. “What time is it?”

The demon looked down at his watch while you got out of bed, and when he looked up his face was completely red.

“[Y-Y-Y/N]! Y-Your….! Ah! I’m so sorry!!”

You blink in a start as Levi slammed the door as he ran away. You wonder what happened, but then catch sight of yourself in the mirror. Your top half exposed. You blush yourself at realizing why he had taken off, but get over the mortification quickly as you had to get ready for school.

Poor Levi couldn’t come near you for several days after that without turning beet red or becoming a stammering idiot. You have to assure him several times that it was really ok, and that your honor was intact, but he promised never to come get your up for school ever again.

Satan

There was a sharp rap at your door that awoke you from your slumber.

“[Y/N], are you awake?”

“Satan?” You question. Hearing his voice from the other side of the door. What was he doing here so early?

Seeming to sense your question, the fourth eldest brother replied in kind. “Lucifer sent me to get you. He was concerned you would be late for school since you weren’t down at breakfast yet. May I come in?”

You chuckle lightly at his polite request and tell him he could come in. Your arms stretching over your head as the door opened and the blonde walked in. “Ah good. You are awake. I was concerned that…uh….um….”

You blink curiously as Satan seemed to lose his train of thought. Unusual for him, as he was typically such a word smith, so you had to ask. “Satan? Is something wrong?”

“I ah…ahem!” The demon cleared his throat. Covering his face with his hand, hiding his blush, as he looked away. “I uh…apologize. I should have given you more time to get ready before I let myself in. Or at least properly dressed.”

Your brow furrowed and you look down to see your pajama top open and blush. Quickly closing it with an apology. “I’m so sorry!”

“It’s...quite alright. I’ll uh…ahem…leave you to get ready now that I know your awake. I’ll see you at school.”

The demon, who normally walked with such purpose and confidence, seemed to stumble in his walk out of your room. Seeming to want to stay, but fighting the urge and forcing himself to leave. Apparently after he had left, he’d gotten into a fight with Mammon and threw him into a wall. You suppose that energy had to go somewhere.

Asmo

A light, delicate rapping on your door woke you up from your peaceful dream about cupcakes and French lattes. The sound was whimsical. Almost like a bird. After that, the smell of roses filled the room as the door opened and the Avatar of Lust appeared.

“Gooood morning darling~!” Asmodeus cheered as he let himself in. Practically gliding across the room and perching himself on the edge of your bed. “Wake up sleeping beauty! Classes will be starting soon, and we don’t want to be late. You need to get up, so you can get ready and look your best.”

You groan softly, but come out from under the covers as requested. He was right. It was time to get ready.

“Aaahh~! [Y/N]! You naughty thing. Tempting me this early in the morning.” You blink the last big of sleep from your gaze, and look down to see where his was trained. You yip as you realize he was staring at your exposed breast, and smacked his hand away when it inched closer.

“Asmodeus!”

The androgenous demon giggled at your scolding, but pulled his hand away in surrender. “Sorry, sorry. I was only kidding.” You have to wonder if he was only ‘kidding’ now that he got rejected. “Let’s just keep this our little secret, ok? I don’t want my brothers getting super jealous about seeing our beautiful [Y/N] in their morning glory. They’ll be banging down the door every morning to get a peek.” Asmo then winked, leaning in to steal a quick peck on your cheek, before he jumped up. “I’ll be waiting for you downstairs~! Unless you need help getting ready. I have too good hands and a lot of enthusiasm for a chore like that.”

The demon giggled brightly all the way out of the room as your tossed pillows at him like rose petals to show him the door.

Beel

The knock on your door was loud, though you could tell not intentionally. It was more a factor of the large fist knocking on it, rather than the force, of the largest of the seven brothers coming to wake you.

“[Y/N]?” You heard Beel’s voice from under your blanket nest. Smiling soft at the gentle way he’d come to wake you up. He must have a lot of experience with Belphie. “Lucifer asked me to come get you up for school. I brought you some breakfast. I didn’t want you to miss out.” You hear what you assume is a tray being sat on your desk. “Some of it didn’t make it all the way here, but most of it did! I tried to keep your favorites safe for you. Mammon wanted the last Hellfire sausage, but I got it for you.”

Your soft smile increased as you pictured the bright, sun like smile on the gentle giants face. Proud of himself for getting it and keeping himself from eating it for you. “Thanks Beel,” you tell him. Coming out from under your covers to see that smiling face in person.

You see it for a moment before his face feel. His eyes averting away from you, and his cheeks turning around as red as his carrot top. “Uh..[Y/N]…your top is kind of falling off.”

You look down and gasp, quickly covering ourself up. “I’m sorry!!”

“That’s ok.” Beel said with a soft laugh. “It happens. Plus, you’ve seen me with my shirt off all the time. It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s not exactly the same….” You mutter quietly into your blanket.

Beel just laughed jovially again, and came over to pat your head. “Come on. Your breakfast is getting cold. I’ll leave so you can eat and get ready. Do you want me to walk you to first period when you’re done?” You nodded into your blankets this time. “Ok! I’ll meet you in the lobby when you’re done.”

With another big smile, your big guy left. Letting you change and enjoy your breakfast, with Hellfire sausage.

Belphie

“Oy…[Y/N]….wake up….”

“Mhmp….Belphie?” Your eyes crack open as he gently shook you. When had he come into your room? You hadn’t heard him knock, or even the door open. Had he just let himself in? “What are you doing here?”

“Stupid Lucifer told me to come get you up for school.” He told you. “I don’t know why. I’m not good at waking people up. I’m barely awake myself.” His statement was punctuated with a long yawn.

You sleepily chuckle and sit up. “Well, you are up. So you’re doing better than me.”

His droopy eyes were looking at you, or perhaps more specifically in your direction. He seemed to be looking at something totally other than your face, and you were about to ask him what when he said, “your boob is sticking out.” Pointing for affect.

You look down to where he was pointing and squeal. Closing your pajama top tight with both hands. “Belphegor! Don’t stare!”

“Why not? It’s nothing haven’t seen before. Remember when your top came off at the beach last summer?”

“That is not something I want to remember right now! And it is not the same! Get out!”

The Sloth demon picked at his ear in annoyance of your yelling, but gave a soft ‘yeah, yeah’ as he saw himself out. Mission accomplished.

He doesn’t seem to understand why you were annoyed with him for the rest of the day, but still made an effort to apologize after a while so you would talk to him again. Only he was allowed to do the silent treatment.

[markpellegrinoimagines]

Ruined fun?

Pairing: Lucifer x reader

Warning: kidnapping, frenzied!Lucifer, smut,

-if your tired of the smut, sorry, but it's a smut series, and theres gonna be few without it, you can just skip it if you like-

%@^#

For the last few weeks y/n and Lucifer had made a home in an abandoned small hotel. Lucifer had fixed it up cleaned all the rooms and made sure everything was modern and fit for his mate.

He had even removed several of the rooms to replace them with a library, the kitchen was up to date and many rooms were tuned into activity rooms and many on the first floor were removed and made into a living room.

The hotel had been refurbished and in its place a beautiful home filled with his mates favorite colors and designs.

When y/n had first been shown around she was amazed. She spent hours thanking him and staying attached to his side. The master bedroom was previously the presidential sweet and the room next to it was turned into a nursery, for the little future arrival.

Present time-

You were lounging in your shared room snacking and rubbing your belly whispering little praises and love to it. You rocked slightly and started to hum, a random tune with no name, but sweet and calming.

This is the site that met Lucifer when he walked in to check up on you. You looked so serene and beautiful, no angel had ever compared to you in his eyes. Your h/l h/c hair, contrasted against your skin and your eyes such a rare shade of e/c. He was lucky to have a goddess such as you.

When you feel his weight settle in behind you, his cool skin pressed against your own heated flesh. His lips press light kisses into your neck as he lays you down, and begins a trail of them down your torso to your heated core.

Hooking his fingers into the elastic of your shorts he slides them down panties and all. The cool air of his breathe against your wet lips send shivers throughout your body. He swipes his fingers along your slit, once then twice before sitting up on his knees and undoing his belt. With baby bump in the way he cant lay across you like before but this position will work just as well.

He runs his hands under your knees and and angles his hips slush against yours, he pushes the head of his cock lightly against you entrance before sliding in. Th drag of him inside you was still as euphoric as the first time.

His pace is controlled and slow; his hands are firm against your thighs. Each thrust is met with a grunt and a moan.

"Lucifer...you feel so good." Your eyes shine up at him with love, his eyes mirrored yours, this wasnt about lust.

"Shh...let me worship your beautiful body mate, just lay back and relax, this is all about you tonight." His hips pick up a faster pace his eyes search her expression for what she likes and what feel the best to her. When she suddenly arches her back with a loud moan he knows he hit that special spot, angling his hips he thrust in harder hitting it over and over until her wet heat clamps down on his length and his hips stutter filling her with his cool seed.

He pulls out their shared juices running down her thighs as he rolls onto his side and pulls her into his chest.

"Sleep little mate, the little one could be here any day now, you need rest."

Your responding laugh cause a smile on his face, "alright alright, I'll rest more my protective angel."

Only when your body relaxes and your breaths even out does he allow himself to follow you into sleep.

-your pov-

A feeling of unease and discomfort arouses you from your sleep. As your senses return to your there is an ache in you back and you cant move your hands or feet.

Looking around you, your surroundings are unfamiliar. It's an old warehouse, the light through the windows is hazy at best, and there dangling hooks covered in what you presume to be dried blood.

On the floor next to you is a man with his eyes burned out, and across from you a woman was slumped against a wall, blood covered cracks formed in the wall behind her. She had been thrown into it. Hushed whispers grab your attention, turning your head your met with twonken you've never seen before, but the overwhelming stench of sulphur gives you the idea of them being demons. Staying silent you listen in to there conversation.

"How are we supposed to use her against Lucifer if we cant even get with 10 ft of her without being smited."

"I dont know, but asmodeus will have our heads if we cant get ahold of Lucifer, hes been more violent then usual since gabriel got away and nearly killed him."

You were shocked, 'asmodeus is still alive.'

"..maybe we can give her to asmodeus instead, look at her, shes pregnant with obviously a nephilim, maybe he could use that things grace instead."

Hearing this pissed you off. No one threatens my baby! Scanning your surroundings once again you notice the room doesnt have any warding put up, probably because they were attempting to lure Lucifer. You begin praying to your angel, hoping he can hear you.

Lucifer pov-

He had woken hours ago, not seeing his mate anywere set him off, searching the entire area of their home, he couldnt find her anywhere. Panic was starting to take over.

"Y/N. MATE!" He began flying to all her favorite cafes and parks nearby, but she wasnt there either. Sending out his grace, he couldnt feel her soul, the only thing telling him she was alive was he could still feel the bond. He was so panicked that the sky was beginning to darken, lighting flashed and rain pelted the earth, "Y/N!!"

He spent hours looking everywhere, even slammed himself through the warding of the bunker, and checked everyone of its rooms, only when he couldnt find her there either did he crumple to the floor in their library.

The winchesters and several Angel's as well as God and amara, who had been visiting, followed him around trying g to get him to speak. Finally dean yells.

"What the fuck do you want asshole!"

"Not here...shes not here...y/n..."his body shakes and then he breaks, they all look upon him in shock as the great Lucifer begins to sob into the floor. "My mate...shes gone...I need her.."

Gabriel and sam are the first to react, "what do you mean she/y/n is gone!!"

"I woke up this morning and she was just gone. I looked everywhere, I cant feel her soul...only our bond...was she tired of me??"

Chuck was worried for his son, this behavior was not like him, "no she hasn't left you son...I made her for you...please calm down so we can think of a way to help her something is obviously not right with this."

Michael snorts, "father is correct. Now stop acting like a fledging and get off the floor, my rebellious little brother does not cry like a child. He rips apart the people who dare take his things away."

Everyone gathers in the war room and they start planning, they have been talking for hours when Lucifer receives it...a prayer.

"Y/n! Shes praying....." they group watches as his relief turns into anger and hatred.."asmodeus!"

Sam was confused, "what about him, gabriel turned his ass to dust"

"Apparently not, now come on let move. I will not wait to find her any longer." Before any of them could make an argument there surroundings had changed and they were now, in a falling apart warehouse. Two demons were mid argument and they could see y/n strapped to a metal chair, her belly rounder than ever.

The demons notice there presence first and attempt to escape their vessels but castiel and balthazar are quick to react and grab them.

Gabriel and lucifer make there way to y/n and begin untieing her. "Its ok mate..Ive got you"

"Bout time luce, my back was getting sore," her smile filled him with relief.

"They didnt hurt you did they, they pay if they have."

"No, I am fine, jack is strong, he smited anyone that got to close."

Everyone looks upon her in confusion, "jack??"

You just giggle, "call it mothers intuition, its totally a boy." Lucifer face lights up and he picks her up out of the chair. He is ready to lead her out of the ware house when you freeze midstep.

...

"Lucifer..."

"Hmmm..what is it"

"My water just broke" every one in the room looks at me in horror and Lucifer goes into a full panic.

'What!? Now...no.." he leans down to her belly, "you cant come put now, y/n cant you just hold it."

"It doesnt work that WAY! NOW GET ME OUT OF HERE" Lucifer quickly lifts her in his arms and flys her to the bunker, everyone else follows suite cas bringing the winchesters.

When the others arrive, chuck and Lucifer had already entered your old room with you, they can here you yell and curse Luce out through the door.

They spend the next half hour waiting in the war room for any sort of news.

%#^#

Aaand cliffy.

Next installment might be the last.

-alex

@ace-of-black-hearts @bloodstained-porcelain-doll @blakechaos08 @blackswan90265 @cracked-treetopper-angel @captain-winchester-27 @deputyash @eggsywin @hisbrvkenwings @iamalekstraordinary @lucifer-in-leather @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @lucifers-perfect-angel @lucifersrosegarden @slashertrasher @tree-of-blue-squirrel

[skizmin]

Ravenclaw Woojin

genre: fluff of course, sorta?? enemies to lovers but?? not really???, an adamant y/n and a soft woojin,,,, none of the other members appear which i didnt even realise until i finished

okay so woojin is ravenclaws most trusted prefect as hes the eldest one and literally does The Most to make himself available for others

seriously once he asked the defence against the dark arts professor for a 2 week extension on his assignment so he could tutor 5 people for the upcoming charms exam 

like,,,,,,,, damn

anyway so you actually do this extended course of charms, youre in the same class as woojin and for some reason??? the fact that hes so naturally good at it pisses you off

especially when youre falling slightly behind in that class

okay a LOt behind

your like,, only friend in that class is dropping it next term to focus on her divination classes and she doesn’t get it either but it doesnt affect her grades not nearly as much as it affects yours. 

shes all “dude just ask for woojin to tutor you” and youre like 

No NO no

no way are you being tutored by kim woojin. the idea just embarrasses you

you’re usually fine with getting help from peers but woojin?? everyone goes to him for tutoring and you sorta just dont??? wanna put yourself into that group???

you feel like it makes you inferior to him for some reason which is the worst feeling ever

(even tho you totally arent bc youre beating him in potions anyway)

anyway so its a wednesday morning and the class is about to end to allow the students to go have breakfast (you know how extended courses are out of normal school times ye??)

you’re tired as fuck

confused as fuck

hungry as fuck

everything as fuck

but then “y/n!” called you to your senses and you stopped packing your things

your professor had just called you up, an ancient tiny little man who was apart of the great battle of hogwarts some time ago

“yes sir?”

“come here would you?” 

you shoved your ink jar into your bag and nodded, walking out from behind your desk and saying bye to your friend who was leaving already

god she really did hate this class you thought lmao

the majority of the students were still packing their things away in a slow drawl probably instigated by the dim, sleepy light of the chilly morning

“anything i can help you with?” you awkwardly asked your professor who smiled at you, stepping down from his place standing on books to look up at you

“yes actually, ive noticed you’re falling behind.”

you cringed, hard, not even wanting to turn around and see who was watching

“i suggest you get a tutor if you wanna get an A for this semester, y/n.”

“sir, i don’t have time to be tutored!”

“well then i guess you’re going to fail this course y/n. just be tutored enough to catch you up on the syllabus and then i can help you with the rest, okay?”

you internally groaned. this was bad

“you’re smart, it’ll only be about 2 weeks before youre caught up. im sure theres plenty of people that would tutor you.”

you nodded and politely fare-welled the teacher before turning to walk out of the classroom

the classroom was surprisingly empty, and you were happy to see that, not really excited about your professor sharing the fact that you were failing the course

sighing to yourself, you walked out of the door, planning to go meet your friends in the great hall

“hey! wait! y/n!” 

you whipped around, half scared to death

the halls were practically empty yet

there was kim woojin

standing right next to the doorway you had just exited

your head tipped back. had he really been standing there the whole time?

“do you wanna meet tonight or something? we can go to the library?”

you gave him a pointed stare

“what? why?”

woojin was a little taken aback, he grew smaller under your gaze.

“oh, so i can- you know, tutor you? i heard you were behind by a bit.”

he looked almost embarrassed at how you were responding to his offer as you sharpened your gaze on him

“i dont need you to tutor me. i can find someone else.”

and with that you left a frowning, dumbfounded woojin standing in the hallway as you stalked off to the great hall

stupid woojin

who did he think he was asking you to meet him in the library

surely you can catch up on your own, you really dont need his help. you’re like, shaking your head lmao

smh

but anyway, the end of the day comes and you grab all these phat stacks of parchment and take you study charm books to the library and sit at the farthest ever table away from literally everyone

you start studying properties of all the spells youve learnt this second term

you get to the third spell, aparecium, one youve been having a lot of trouble remembering

you groaned, looking up in your book what exactly the spell meant and remembering it was in fact a revealing charm and you didnt have any pages with invisible ink on them. 

you began flipping further into the book, trying to find the incantation for concealing ink writing so you could practise 

“h-here.” 

you fuCKING LEAPED IN YOUR SEAT

BITCH TF

THAT SCARED YOu oh my god what was he doing here

“s-sorry for scaring you b-but, its got concealed writing on it so you can, like- practise?”

he sounded sorta hopeful as he slid the paper over to you, hands nervously twining with each other in front of him afterwards

your pride was getting to you tho so

“i’m good at that spell, i don’t need to practise it.”

woojin blinked and squinted at you a little, trying to figure out whether or not you were lying

“ooookayyyy. anyway, anything else you want help with? i can explain it a little bit for you?”

you resisted the MASSIVE urge to roll your eyes at him

we get it, youre good at this

“im okay, thanks.”

you expect woojin to leave then, and it seems he does too as he stutters in his movement before clenching his eyes shut

“do you not l-like me or something? or did i-, did i do something to you?” he peeked an eye open to gauge your reaction

he looked almost

scared?

oh no, oh no

what was this guilt? you could feel your glare softening in an instant

why are you liKE THIS

“n-no! i dont!” you stuttered out a reply, eyes widening slightly

and then, he smiled. and he smiled wide

you felt blinded almost, your heart started palpitating. so this is what it was like to have woojin smile at you, and you only.

you were fucked

“oh! okay then! sorry i just-, i just thought i’d annoyed you or something so..” he trailed off, tapping his shoe on the ground suddenly very interested in the lamp on the library desk

“anyway!” he spoke up again. “i’ll uh, i’ll leave you to it. and don’t forget to practise aparecium. it’ll be on the next test for sure.” he grinned at you again and you sorta maybe might have felt heat crawling to your cheeks.

“t-thanks woojin.”

he nodded at you, still smiling before leaving

you banged your head on the table, what in the world was that interaction

whilst burying your face in your hands you noticed he had left the enchanted paper with you, you shrugged

might as well use it, right?

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, shit

1 and a half hours later yu were groaning out of pure frustration with yourself. no matter how perfectly you practised the incantation or how directly you swished your wand at the page, nothing appeared

no writing or anything

you were beginning to wonder if woojin gave you the right piece of parchment, that this was the one with the invisible ink

you shook your head, looking at the clock closest to you and deciding it was too late to be studying and that your brain mustnt be working right,

you packed up your stuff and went back to your dorm, making sure to get as good a sleep as possible because you had another extension charms lesson tomorrow morning

,,,

anyway so you woke up late in the morning with a sore neck and red eyes. 

this was Not Good

quickly tugging on your robes and frantically shoving things into your bag whilst brushing your teeth you rushed out of you dormitory and ran all the way to the charms classroom

you ran in out of breath, your professor looking at you with an unimpressed look. “glad to see you could make it y/n.” he drawled before turning back to the blackboard

you whined as you saw him writing a test warning for 2 weeks time, sleepily stumping your way over to your friend who was laughing at you loudly

unpacking your things, you glanced around the room. eyes landing on woojin who had a hand resting under his chin staring right back at you

your cheeks went a bit red when he smiled at you, giving you a small wave before turning his head to the board again

your friend next to you shoved you a little bit, when your turned your head you face her she simply mouthed an i saw that

you rolled your eyes and paid attention to the rest of the lesson without any distractions

anddddd thennnnnn it was over

you blinked, your notes were cleaner today than usual

“hey, y/n!” you looked up to find woojin standing in front of your desk, toothy grin on his face as per usual

your heart sorta skipped a beat before you were able to tell it not to

“hey woojin :))” you smiled, trying your best to sound friendly whilst not looking like an absolute fool

he sorta squinted at you a bit before “so uh, how was studying?”

it was your turn to look at him sceptically this time

“it was,,,,,, good??” you questioned, unsure of how to respond

woojins smile sorta falters before coming back with a somewhat sad lilt to it

“ah, right. well i gotta go. my friends are waiting.” and with that he nodded at you and left

you were confused as fuck

well, that was certainly weird

anyway, for the next week and 3 days, woojin completely avoided you

you’d be fine with this of course if you hadnt gotten that little soft spot for him a while back

it sorta hurt when your smiled at him and he sorta just sadly smiled back and looked away, or if you were gonna say hi to him he’d scurry away before one word could leave your mouth

you were really down about it honestly

bUT you also didnt have time to worry about it

your test was in FOUR. DAYS. 

AND you had studied everything else to the best of your ability apaRT from the revealing charm, aparecium.

you wanted to cry, no one could explain it well enough to you and you could say the incantation right bc everyone spoke too fast and apparently you had to use it MULTIPLE times on the tes to maKE QUESTIONS APPEAR. 

QUESTIONS

INVISIBLE QUESTIONS THAT COUNT TOWARDS YOUR MARK

basically, you were having a mental breakdown and you knew there was only one person left to try and explain it to you

kim woojin

again, he was A V O I D I N G    Y O U

which made you angry bc you neED TO GET AN A

anyway, so your class on a tuesday was an afternoon class and you sorta just planned to corner him there after class

flitwick usually left 10 minutes early to arrive at his choir practises on time and put a charm on the door so no student could leave early

so the time comes, the bells ring and students rush out of the class you go and lie in their beds or whatever most teenagers do nowadays

and you make your way over to woojin’s desk as he packs up his things, he was always the last to leave

you coughed to get his attention, when he looked up his eyes widened

“i need your help.” you stated, eyes boring into his, you could swear you saw pink flush over his cheeks

“im uh, im busy. sorry y/n-”

“just one charm? please? i really need it, no one else can explain it.”

woojins eyes softened and he bit his lip. he was contemplating.

“okay.” you smiled at him widely “lets try now, okay?”

you nodded, placing you bag down and grabbing out some enchanted pieces of parchemnt, including the one he gave you

you sat down next to him and he look confused

“whats the paper for?”

“the aparecium charm.” you replied simply, turning to face him

a look of realisation dawned over his face

“i thought you said you were good at that charm?” he muttered

you looked at him weird, why was he acting so strange?

“i lied, i didnt want help back then but i do now. so,”

and then he grinned widely, taking a piece of paper that wasnt the one he gave you and telling you to watch closely

“aparecium.” he said, clearly. swishing his wand almost expertly

you looked at the paper in front of you and saw the writing of hello appear on it in your cursive handwriting

you looked up at him in aw.

“can you say it again? slowly? i dont think im pronouncing it right.”

woojin giggled

G I G G L E D

and repeated himself, clear and slow. you nodded at him, taking a random piece of paper and clearing your throat

“wait!” woojin yelped “use this one!” 

you furrowed your brows as he shoved the piece of paper he gave you in the library in front of you

“uh, okay?” you replied, glancing up at his smile

clearing your throat again, you swished you wand and spoke clearly. “aparecium.”

nothing happened to the paper and you groaned loudly

“oh, y/n, your pronunciation is perfect. its the swish thats wrong.”

you bored your eyes into him “what?”

“youre doing it this way. youre supposed to do it this way” he flourished his wand to demonstarte to you the wrong doing

you still furrowed your brow, not really seeing the difference between the two

“here, i’ll show you”

o hMY GOD HE 

HE JUST GRABBED YOUR HAND HOLY SHIT

SIRENS CALL THE AMBULANCE

YOU REALLY ALMOST CHOKED ON AIR

suddenly you felt fire all over. red surely covering your face as you tried to concentrate but holY SHIT

“okay so youre going like this.” he moved your hand in his own, making out the movement you made before

“but you should be doing this.” 

o h

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

now you get it

you wanted to bang your head on the table for being so dumb about it

“oH RIGHT! woojin you’re literally a life saver!”

he laughed again, retracting his hand from yours as red splashed over his cheeks and onto his ears

“well, go on! try it!

you smiled, looking down at the paper and saying a strong and clear incantation whilst moving your wand exactly how woojin showed you to

you squeALED in excitement as ink dotted onto the page! 

you grabbed woojin by the forearm and raised it above both of your heads in celebration

he laughed and cheered along with you before you settled down, beginning your massive thank you speech.

“seriously i couldnt have done it without your help i could have faile-”

“y/n, read it.” woojin smiled at you

“what?” you replied, confused

“read the parchment.”

eyebrows furrowing once again you looked down at the parchment with now visible ink

do you wanna maybe go to hogsmeade with me this weekend?

your eyes widened

no way

no way no way no way

you snapped your eyes up to meet his

this is why he avoided you! he thought youd rejected him in such a selfish cold hearted way!

“i’ve uh, actually liked you for a while. we missed last weekend but im down to go next weekend if you want?”

“i- i, i mean, y-you! of course! i’ll go with you, yeah! oh my god i am so sorry you mustve thought i was such a bitch i shouldnt have lied im an awf-”

oh my fUCKING GOD

CODE FUCKING RED HIS HANDS WHERE ON YOUR CHEEKS

AND HIS LIPS ON YOURS

BREATHING? WHOS SHE

your eyes clenched shut as you reached to grab the front of his robes, kissing him back

you felt so goddamn dizzy, your mind cloudy at the absolute bliss of the feeling of his lips and how they moved against yours

he started smiling against you and had to pull away, his eyes glimmering and heart beating out of his chest

“i’ll pick you up at your dorms at 10, okay?”

god, youve never smiled harder.

[some-rfa-imagines]

TW: Blood mention!! I woke up at 2 in the AM with a bloody nose. Funny thing is, I can handle blood UNLESS it comes from my nose. A nosebleed makes me feel faint real quick, which is super inconvenient, because if I pass out I’ve just gotten blood everywhere. I spend like an hour trying to distract myself so I don’t faint. I was wondering if you could write the RFA’s reaction to something like that? It’s totally fine if you can’t, me sending a request was very impulsive. :P

lkjhgfddhgkgk what a mOOD

a) im upset bc i wrote this and then delETED IT ON ACCIDENT so im vvv sorry if it seems repetitive, im real tired and so done with rewriting kjgfddklasd

b) i’m the exact same anon! anyway, i hope you’re okay //hugs

tw: blood

Yoosung:

its approx 1:29am when you wake up to taste blood trickling down your throat

gdi not again

you quietly slip out of bed, careful not to wake yoosung as you stumble around to look for a tissue

suddenly you’re hit with a wave of dizziness and you trip, hitting the edge of the bedside table with a BANG

 “…MC? what was that?”

yoosung wakes up as your swear profusely under your breath, trying to cover your face before you get blood everywhere

he turns on the light and faces you

and promptly shREIKS

“MC OMG YOU’RE BLEEDING”

“really. i couldn’t tell.”

after getting over the initial shock, he helps you over to the bathroom, cleaning you up gently and grabbing you some tissues and a towel

how on earth did you get blood on your elbow MC

oh no wait thats just a cut from the bedside table nvm

wAIT-

he dips the towel in cold water and rests it against your neck, changing it when it gets too warm (idk thats just what i do to help my bleeding noses so ┐(´∀｀)┌)

talks with you and distracts you by drawing little patterns on your skin for as long as it takes for your body to stop inconveniencing you

will wait up all night if necessary

many tissues were sacrificed that night

Zen:

ahhhh no shit shit shit this is the worst possible time

you’re backstage at one of Zen’s shows, waiting for him when you sneeze into your elbow

when you pull away, you see the familiar red liquid and promptly sigh, holding a hand t ot. he bridge of your nose and wobbling as you get to your feet

thats when Zen bursts into the dressing room, chatting excitedly. he sees you and stops short

…..

quick say something MC!

“Nice show, Zen.” (really MC?) “Thanks babe. You alright there?” “Yep. Just peachy.” “You sure?” “Uh-huh. positive.”

you take a step forward and immediately c o l l a p s e

Zen catches you in his arms (looks like you fell for him //slapped) and guides you back to the couch, laying you down

“yeah, nope. just stay there, i’ll grab a towel and some tissues” “yeah, okay, good plan. thanks zen”

he brings you some water and chocolate and distracts you by singing and talking about what he thought went well during the show and what could’ve been done better

you give your input every once in a while, half struggling to stay awake

its ok bc even if you faint (which would still suck), Zen will still take care of you

bc he loves you

many cuddles until you feel better

Jaehee:

[she likes to consider herself a rather prepared person

but nothing could prepare her for this]

she wandered into the kitchen late at night, wondering why you weren’t in bed yet

she didn’t expect to see you passed out, sitting on a stool, resting against the sink and covered in blood.

actually screams in terror (she thought you were dead

rushes over to you and panics, immediately checking your pulse

you’re still alive, oh thank god

relief for a second before realising that jhghjk you’re still bleeding

she props you up and carries you to the bathroom, laying you down in the bathtub before washing you off

there goes that outfit rip

googles what she has to do from here bc does she wake you up? does she wait for you to wake up?? she is Not Prepared

settles on waking you up by gently shaking you and talking to you until you wake up

So Relieved when you begin to stir and open your eyes

you’re hella confused as to how you got into the bathroom but it all begins to make sense when you see jaehee sitting on the edge of the tub, worried as all hell

oh beb, MC didn’t mean to make you panic im sorry

stays with you and comforts you everytime it happens so she never has to go through that fear ever again

Jumin:

it had to be now, didn’t it? this very moment. of course. it just had to be during a celebratory ball.

you felt it coming as you chatted with some friends and you instantly began to panic

okay, okay, stay calm MC. You’ve done this before, it’s okay. everything’s okay.

“If you’ll excuse me for a moment. I just need some air.” you left the conversation, ducking into a nearby hallway and leaning against a table. you stayed like that for a while, beginning to feel faint

~meanwhile~

jumin is wandering around the ballroom, looking for you. he meets up with your friends who tell him you stepped out for a little fresh air maybe 20mins ago.

oh okay

he knew you so he knew that you were most likely fine but there was a little nagging voice in the back of his mind that told him something was wrong. so, he gave it another ten minutes or so before he began to worry

excusing himself, he stepped into the same hallway that you were in before stopping dead in his tracks at the sight of you

you were collapsed in a chair, almost unconscious, with your nose still fuckin bleeding

jumin.exe has stopped working

needless to say, you immediately left the ball and went straight home

he ran his fingers through your hair as you rested, helping you wash your face and just whispering sweet nothings or sitting in silence w/ you until you finally fell asleep

contacts many doctors to figure out this problem so your health doesn’t decline

helps distract you by talking about new projects or funny things he overheard at the office or wine

Saeyoung:

oof this is untimely

you were just getting out of the shower when you glanced down and noticed a steady trickle of blood making its way down your chest

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME”

you could’ve sworn it was just water like three seconds ago

asdtyjkl now you have to go back and shower agAIN aaagghhghh

you go to hop back into the shower when you’re suddenly overwhelmed by dizziness

CRASH

seven jolts at the massive bang that echoes through the house. even saeran sends him a text to ask what the hell that was

it sounds like it came from the bathroom,,, and wait, weren’t you taking a shower?

the worst case scenarios flash through his mind and in half a second saeyoung’s up and dashing to the bathroom

when he gets there his eyes widen and he starts knocking on the door frantically

he can smell that very familiar, metallic crimson scent. (lololol seven is a bloodhound now its canon bc i said so)

“MC!! MC!! It’s me, open up!”

picks the lock when you dont get the door

literally freezes on the spot when he sees you on the floor, surrounded by bright red blood

“Holy shit, MC!!!!”

panics. a lot. he doesnt even care that you’re naked, he needs you to wake up and now. he needs you not to be dead.

basically faints from relief when you groan in pain, bringing a hand to your head to shield your eyes from the light.

“seven, what are you doing in here?” “i thought you were dead MC!” “huh? ah- oh… that… i’ll explain that later… first could you, uh, hand me my towel?” “What? …!”

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

anyway, he shows you all his gadgets whenever you have a bleeding nose so you don’t have a repeat of the above incident.

he helps you clean up the blood afterwards. he’s,,,, surprisingly good at it,,,,

whoops i had a nap while rewriting this

Askbox Open || Requests Open || i love feedback! and also pls chat w/ me i’m v lonely

[garethito]

You know... I've been meaning to ask you about this for a while, and yesterday's tag thing that you did with those Bale gifs only like... fueled? My curiosity? Lol, if that makes sense. Could you like... relive? The Champions League final from this year for us? Like, your perspective on it? Or maybe even the actual whole day of the final? Sorry, God, I know this is weird, but I just love how you tell stories from your life! I have seen you do it with some other anons once!

First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH for this like, you guys always send me such interesting questions and Im so??? and OMG no this is not weird stop this is such a wonderful question to ask!! And omg you liked how I told the stories to those anons that is so sweet thank you so muchhhhh ❤️❤️💝❤️💘💘💞💞💘

But also this is making me really emotional I dont think I will be able to write this without tearing up but here we go!!! I was at school today and we had a special day so we didnt make any classes, so I had time to formulate an answer to this, and to complete it at home 💞

Quick WARNING?? Yes I am perfectly aware of how crazy and overdramatic this whole story sounds, but the thing is that this is how I truly feel about this day in my life. So yeah lol. Football is basically my life!

I would like to start this by saying that the day of the 26th of May 2018 is the most important day of my entire life as a football fan. There is nothing that could even come close to this. Absolutely nothing. Never in my life have I cried like in that night. Never. Absolutely never. I have looked at my life as a person, at my hardest times, when I cried a lot, but not even that can even slightly compare to the amount of crying that I have done on that glorious day of May 7 months ago. When I say crying, though, I dont actually mean crying, no. I mean violently sobbing, screaming at the top of my lungs, shaking and feeling numb. But in the best way possible, the happiest tears that I ever shedded.

My actual perspective, like you said, though, starts from the 2nd of May, a day after our semi-final second leg against Bayern. From that day, until the 26th, my mind, my body, my soul only thought about the final. I could not even focus on the Clasico on the 6th, neither on the last La Liga match. I was so fucking nervous, words are not sufficient to describe….. At least once every 2-3 days I would go to the bathroom with severe stomach aches and sit there until I would try to calm myself down so that my grandmother wouldnt get worried. I thank God, the Universe, or whoever you think invented life for the fact that highschool had nothing special during that period, just a few tests, that I got the best grades on, because had there been something big, I would have surely failed. That was a nightmare. Just think about it. Horrible La Liga season, then those fucking shaky as fuck second leg matches against Juve AND Bayern. I was literally so pessimistic that I am scaring myself right now thinking about it. All these bad scenarios played through my head ”What if Zizou loses his job? What if this will be the start of our downfall? What if this is the last Champions League final we will play? What if, what if, what if….”. I always tried to tell my brain how stupid I was, that we are Real Madrid and that we will win, like we always do, that we are the best fucking team in the Universe and that nobody even comes close to being like us. But its like these voices in my head wouldnt stop, it was so scary.

Come 25th of May I was an actual lifeless corpse. No matter how much I tried to call my best friend, who was in Bulgaria at that time, and telling her that I cant take this anymore, and her telling me that its going to be okay like it always is, that she doesnt really know my team well but she knows we will win, no matter how much of that was happening, I couldnt fucking stop being nervous and constantly thinking about this match.

On the morning of the 26th I woke up with a severe headache at about 8:30-9 AM. The only things that I remember from that whole day are the constant empty feeling, the amount of times I listened to Hala Madrid Y Nada Mas and the amount of pictures, videos, promotional/support videos I saw and watched. I called my friend one last time and I told her that now I am optimistic, that we will win.

My whole emotional state was ruined, however, by Gareth not starting. I dont need to explain the whole February-May Gaz-Zizou situation because I think everyone knows it too well by now and what I fucking felt about it. I have never been so enraged in my entire life. After all he has done, still no place in the starting XI. Though, this is pretty much the only thing that has ever angered me about Zizou. I love that man too much, I dont think there will ever be a coach that will ever come close to him, a coach that I will ever love as much as I loved him, but this whole situation really, really angered me. As I said, not going to get into details, I think that is enough. Though, I tried to only focus on my hardly achieved positivity about the match. 

The match started and my emotional state reached its lowest point. I couldnt take it anymore, I felt impossibly sick from being so nervous, I got the most severe migraine ever, my eyes were literally about to pop out ugh again, remembering that gives me chills. Dani got injured, and I got angry again, because he didnt deserve it, the World Cup was literally about to start like God give this man a break!!!

Halftime at 0-0, my optimism grew, believe it or not. I felt like we will have more urgency in the second half and that we will win this.

The second half came, with me just desperately hoping for a goal. Because we were playing so well, we deserved a reward!! And it did come, with Benzemas goal, God I felt so relieved and happy. I have seen people saying that his goal was not good but? You literally take everything that is being offered to you in a Champions League final! He scored, he gave us a goal, we were 1-0 up, and I was literally screaming from joy, I was shaking so much and I was the proudest person alive. God, I love my team. Then, Liverpools equalizer came. I didnt think anything of it. I wouldnt get rid of my optimism. I was looking at my boys and I knew we would win.

And Oh My God, here we fucking go. 

Minute 61. Gareth comes on. I was so grateful that he at least got to play 30 minutes, I literally only wanted to see him. At that time, considering everything that was happening, I was already emotionally starting to prepare for his departure to another team. I was watching him in those moments, flashbacks through my mind of all the glorious times I got to see him, all of his goals, everything.

And then…

All of a sudden…

62:58

That moment. The moment in which my soul has definitely left my body. The most beautiful moment I have ever lived in watching football. The moment in which I was the proudest person alive. A moment I will never, ever, ever forget, for as long as I get to live. The moment I have literally seen history being made, right before my eyes. The moment in which I literally evaporated, left the Earth, idk how to explain this but I hope you understand me. My idol, that had suffered so much that season, scored a fucking bicycle kick in a FUCKING UCL FINAL. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. The happiest, most full of joy, best, most emotional moment. Ever. No exaggeration.

My perspective on this? Oh well, brace yourselves. If you think everything that I have written so far seems insane, get ready for this.

I was on my bed, watching the game, shaking. I saw the passes, beautiful passes, that ended up with Marcelo controling the ball (incredibly, as he always does, my Brazilian sunshine). I saw him swaying to the side, and then passing a high, aerial ball in the box. Gareth came up to meet it, with… a scissor kick. That he scored. I literally fucking exploded like there is no other word. I jumped off my fucking bed and I ran literally across the house and came back, making the most inhuman noises ever I swear. I came back to my bedroom and I collapsed on the floor and I literally started fucking bawling my eyes out, and even that seems like an understatement. Screaming at the top of my lungs, bawling my eyes out, literally all of it happening on the floor. My grandmother literally came in and she thought something happened to me, but then I just pointed to the screen and she understood lmao. And from that point onward I cannot say anything anymore, because I dont remember anything else but me on the floor, literally. After like 15 minutes I hardly even managed to get back on the bed, and guess what?

82:41

AGAIN. 

A

G

A

I

N

???? I dont know what to say anymore. Like he literally toyed with everyone that night, he didnt care about anything. Again, with a pass from Marcelo, he literally goes from FAR FAR FAR away and he shoots and… scores?? How much do you think my poor fragile self can handle? Like, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU SAY TO THAT?? Except for bawling your eyes out even more, if thats even possible? Its been 7 months and I still dont have words for what happened that night, like 2 goals ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? LIKE DO YOU UNDERSTAND I WAS LITERALLY DEAD LIKE ??? I LOST EVERY SINGLE BIT OF MY SANITY THAT NIGHT. 2 goals, 2 goals in 20 minutes, he was about to get a fucking hattrick. A fucking HATTRICK IN HALF AN HOUR, but Karius unfortunately stopped that shot.

The match ended and… I dont remember anything other than barely seeing the screen, I literally had a blurred vision.

We fucking won it. We DID IT. THE DECIMOTERCERA WAS OURS.

In the moment in which Sergio lifted it I… I dont have words, did I go into another Universe, did I ascend, did my soul leave my body I dont even know but what I do know is that I spent the rest of the night, up until like 6AM, crying my heart out. And this is what I mean by ”I have never cried so much in my entire life”. Like I have never spent a whole night crying.

I went to bed at like 6:30, woke up at like.. 10?? I think you can imagine how I woke up, I literally felt like I was going to die but I spent the rest of the day catching up on everything that happened the entire night.

And then, of course, the celebrations, Cibeles, Bernabeu… of course your sensitive girl bawled her eyes out again lol!

Every day ever since it happened, I have always been thinking about this day. About all of it. No point in counting how many times I rewatched the goals lol! But I think you can imagine haha 💘

So yeah, this is pretty much it DSLKFDKJFKDFJKDFK. The story about my best ever day of watching football I made it unecessarily long (Im so sorry). I think the only conclusion that I can get from this is Hala Madrid Y Gareth Y Nada Mas lol! 💘💘

[shiny-craboo-blog]

@rockformed​ replied to your post : i keep goin away for a long time but theres a good...

what asshole?? 👀👀👀👀👀

WHOOO lemme tell you this is a long one (sorry about any spelling errors i was tryna get this done quickly)

it was actually that guy that we played overwatch with together once.

ive known him since about december, but he was saying lots of homophobic and racist shit, so i was like eh might as well try to make him a better person, but to do that, you gotta get close, and i started liking him (literally @ past me why?????)

so i flirt a little here, giggle a little there, and he falls in love with me. i liked him too, but he liked me to a point where it was obsessive. he was telling me i saved his life and that out of everyone on earth im his favorite. i come out to him as trans one day, and after a lot of thinking, he was like “okay yeah im okay with this” and i was happy

however, like i said, he was really obsessive. he wouldnt let me play games with anyone else unless he was there, and when i tried to watch a show with one of our mutual friends, he gets all upset about it.

eventally, even though he liked me, he started being a real ass. i told him that i didnt really like him anymore and that i wanted to stay friends, and he turned it into this huge fight and ended it with “Forget it... Good night.” - and he used that phrase every (and “goodbye”) every time he wanted a conversation to sound final or like he was going to die if i didnt give him all my attention right then and there.

the fighting continued for a few months, during which he called me a sociopath, narcissistic, not worthy off being called a human being, and all that typa stuff. he started feeling suicidal - even though he felt that way before i met him, he started feeling it stronger because he didnt have me constantly fawning over him to ease it out - and he straight up told me that he blamed me for his feelings.

the fights got reaaalllll bad, and eventually he had a set day and time, and every time i said i was going to call his mom about it, he got really defensive and acted like i was attacking him, saying “dont test me” and shit

he became really emotionally manipulative and just flat out malicious tbh

the day came around and i blocked him because i didnt want to hear about it, and he started yet another fight. he didnt do anything though because half an hour later he came crawling back saying that he needed someone to talk to and that he had this whole change of heart and that he realized what his friends were worth and how he acted really shitty and that he was sorry

but he didnt change his behavior at all lmao

he kept arguing with me, so i started just. not joining as much and not talking to him as often and he got really pissy, asking me if i was talking to other people and accusing me of talking with this guy who he hates (the guy he hates left to make another server with all the people this guy was an asshole to so they could have a place where he wasnt there being a dick and the guy im telling you about acts like the victim whenever he talks about it like?? literally if u were a better friend they wouldnt have felt the need to?) (and i totally was talking to the guy bc the enemy of your enemy is your friend and all that) but he was a real ass about it. 

and saturday!! this saturday!!! he was an ass the moment i joined the call so i left and he got mad saying like “you know how i get upset when you leave the call” and i was like “i just??? dont wanna be there if ur gonna be mean to me the moment i join??” and he said

THIS BITCH

said

“its a guy thing to be mean to your friends. but i guess you wouldn’t know about that ;)”

so i blocked him. he texts me saying that hes been mean because his dads been on his back about college, and i said it wasnt an excuse. a few minutes later, someone from the server messages me sayin that nick said if i dont unblock him hes gonna ban me. so i unblocked him and asked for a reason why i should stay. this bitch. this ass. says “because i thought we were friends” LIKE BIIIIIIITCH PLEAAAAAAASE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WE AINT

anyway we fought for 3 hours and rather than giving me any good reasons to stay he called me stupid and said i misinterpreted the message like?? how else am i supposed to interpret it????????

so im staying, making him fall in love with me again, then leaving.

bonus: i made a list of the highlights of some of the shit things hes said to me

"Forget it... good night." "i used to trust everyone then the thing happened with my cousin so i stopped sharing myself or exposing myself. then i did over the years with kii then she backstabbed me. then ness and it happened again. i didnt trust anyone and still wasnt ok with sharing myself. then u stepped in and made me feel happy and wanted and like i could trust people. then you said you loved me like you did. i opened up and pursued and got lead on for 15 hours a day for a month up until i got enough courage to try to stand and speak open heartedly and with courage and the next day you lose all interest." "you know what? you obviously dont like me anymore. im over it you win. im done chasing. the goalposts always change. its over." "i cant stop chasing you. you are literally my favorite person on earth." "im doing this once a day from now on. wanna go out" "1 reason i got on ow. *1 reason i got on ow off my psych. guess it doesnt matter to you." “For the record the reason im mad all the time is because im fucking pissed at you but cant take it out for some reason.” “reason im so shit ight now is caught i thought i was at rock bottom and you took me up the mountain just to fling me off. forget it. good night." "youre still online. just gonna pretend im not here?" "hope this doesnt wake you up but sorry for being a cunt." "i still want to die haha. life sucks" "im sorry." me: you purposely did something to make me mad and then get upset when i get mad "im hald zoned in rn im getting killed by bad vibes but im not gonna make you mad ever again." "why did you fool me. i fight with you a lot now and its because of what you did to me and how ive lost my sense of self and all emotions because of you. but then i remember this is just how i usually am and being happy is what people are supposed to be like and im not so this is normal and only my fault so. i forgot where i was going with this but take care friend." "if it was the concept thing then why do i still love you." "i get upset because i have to actively avoid falling for you." "im only angry and mean to you because i dont understand my emotions." "im gonna kill myself saturday at 7:32 pm" (<<<this was two weeks ago hes fine now) "im not gonna do it i just want attention" "to keep it 100 i just said that so you wouldnt call anyone." "dont test me" "eat shit" "if youre trying to make me unfriend you its working" "actual human beings dont pull that bullshit. they suck it up and stick to their word or break the news to the other and dont drag them along." me: every humans a human regardless of whether or not they feel "theyre a human. not an actual human. theyre a human but not worthy of being called one." "in 3 months you managed to fuck with my emotions and make me want to kill myself more than kii did in 3 years." "i think this is the last conversation were gonna have. if you got anything important to say speak now or forever hold your peace. alright youre in overwatch and missed your chance." "have fun with your game hope its worth losing me over."

me: im going to call your mom and tell her right now "and say what? 'im a bad friend and now nick wont talk to me?'"

me: no. 'nicks planning on killing himself.' "and ill just say its someone im amd at trying to get revenge on me" "im not convinced that its not a whole thing made specifically to drive me to suicide." "in queue rather than fixing problems. typical. goodbye, asshole." "what if by trying to stop the outcome u saw you just pushed me away from one of the only people i trusted and now im on a path that ends in my inevitable self destruction." "no thats the depression but i am saying u took away what made me happy." "forget it, ill catch you later. apparently no goodbyes either lol." "bye oats." "the only thing you will ever love besides yourself is overwatch. bye." "are you there i just got back and i really need someone." "beause youre the middle man i guess and it was a test of allegiance i think in my mind." "idk i just feel like not many people actually like me deep down and its a shit thing of me to put that on others." "hows ness doing" "because im done walking on eggshells for you, snowflake. "its a guy thing to be a dick to your friends. guess u wouldnt understand ;)" "sorry for being a jerk. dad has been riding me all week and im mad all the time." "maybe you would get it if your dad ever punched you or woke you up by throwing shit at you." (i know for a fact his dad doesnt do this. there was a whole week where we were in a call 24/7 to see how long we could get one to last and his dad brings him dinner and plays xbox in the same room sometimes. i get that from an outside perspective this may seem mean to overlook, but if you knew this guy, you wouldnt put it past him to lie about shit like this just for attention.) "youre being such a baby over this. its not a big deal, its an argument." "considering you didnt write it id consider it awful stupid of you to think you can interpret it better than the author." "you dont know me"

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

Hello! I'm going to start answering the old ask first and then the one about the show, okay? Last week was busy? Because of Mother's Day? Or something else? I dont know if i have to cheer you up saying "dont worry, this week everything is going to go back to normal", or if i shouldnt because that will mean you'll get bored at work🙊 Did you brought the ballons finally? (1)

HIIII LOVE!!!! Ufffff, I didn’t realized Mother’s Day meant May was starting,jajajaja. May is our August. We have A LOT of places to go to make candy bars, do you know what it is? Well, we put it on communions, weddings… and we have a couple every weekend. So we make the things we put on the bar during the week. It’s a lot of work for all of us, but it’s the month we make the most money,jajajaja, so 🤷🏻‍♀️.I FORGOT the balloons 🤦🏻‍♀️😔. I totally did. I didn’t think about them till a bit before the show started, lol. It would have been so cool, but I totally forgot.  

U didnt go to a lot of concerts? Dont say that! I’ve only gone to 2/3 shows. Not much. & much less this days, with so many festivals. Oh, yeah. Ed came some years ago, but i was too young. Uh, i feel u, the sale of the tickets was crazy. Like, we were supposed to go to see him in Mdd, and we ended up in Bcn, & with another kind of ticket, not the one we had agreed to buy. But totally worth it!! I know he has a reputation for being tedious and repetitive, but his sound live is not like that. (2)

Oh, there are so many concert and festivals these days. I guess I never was a kid to ask my parents for a lot of things, and I never really had someone who I liked enough to ask to go concerts,so 🤷🏻‍♀️. But I love concerts. The ambient… well, I already told you,jajaja. It feels like you’re around your people, or at least to me, bc I don’t know anyone in real life who likes the same music as I. And I loved it the time in the line,jajja. It was like we were camping. I don’t know, jajaja, it felt right. Ed has that reputation? I dididnt know about it. I’ve see a couple of videos, and I found it so difficult what he does,jajja, with the guitar and the pedal he uses to record his voice and all that.

HAHAHAHA. I am laughing because now you have not only managed to find a Larrie at Harrys’s show, but also at Niall’s!! Either there’s many of us, or you are a Larrie Magnet😂 How can i do the same?? Show me. She keeps up because i have tumble, and her bffs also have tumblr and twitter and they share the news on the groupchat. I mean, she doesnt know everything (no one does) but we tell her the important things.(3)

Jajajajajja, I think I’m s larrie-magnet,🤣🤣🤣. Hey, you have your own larrie-pal at home, what more do you need??? Jajaja. (I have my own anti at home, so…). You tell her important things??? I hope you’ve tell her about Louis last night!!  Jajajja mymy, did you see him??? I missed him so much. He looked so good. And he’s so good. Ay, I could cry,bc he deserves a lot better from everyone, from life… You know “hay gente que nace con estrella, y gente que nace estrellada”? Well, I always think that about Louis. He never gets it right. But I really hope the future holds only good things for him. :/Well, your sister and her friends sound more organized than me, jajajajjaja. I’m now in a group chat, ajajaja, we’ll see how that works, or if I have Togo out bc they talk too much,jajajaja (I’m old, my phone ringing too much, makes me cranky🤣🤣🤣🤣👵🏻)

Yes, men suits tend to be more boring. Harry need to do something, but at the same time, dont. Harry + red carpets + cool suits + HQ pictures = my dead. Oh wow. You really are half-witch. JAJAJAJAA. Me as your sister trying to take profit of your hability. Isnt she smart?😂😂 did you really guess the birth of the little girl? How? (Can you guess the end of BG too? Pls end it). Oh! Okay, i get it now. He sounds pretty special then. (4)

Jajjaja jajajja, that’s true (I sometimes say things that louis (mostly) has said, jajaja, and that’s true is his response to Harry’s “the wind make nice waves”, jajajja, so read it with Louis’ voice😝). See?i almost had a heart attack yesterday when I saw Louis in a suit,jajajja.Well, she’s always looking at ways to make money of everything,jajja (no she doesn’t, but she does it more than me). I don’t know how,jajaja, we were making a “porra” and I thought that+and that+and that… it was more a guess, than a prediction, jejejeje. And I can’t control my predictions, they usually happen in my dreams. I wish I could end it. I’ve been wishing for it to end blowing my birthday candles for years, jajaja (and I can’t believe it’s been years 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Gay parade? JAJAJAJA. Listen, but why? Why would u take a cake to a parade? Do ppl usually do that? I’ve never seen it. Uuuh. Yes. Of course we are queer because its trendy, thats what we, dumb&young people do. Of couse. Being hated because of that is so cool!! I hate that logic. Uh. Not all changes are bad, and just bcs you dont see LGTB+ people doesnt mean they dont exist. I’m so sorry you had to stand that while you couldnt even yell at him! And you cake didnt deserve that insult either. (5)

Yeah, I don’t know his logic, but I guess he doesn’t use logic that much when he says things like that. And yeah, I mean, if you’ve never been hated for something like that, it can be hard to imagine. But also, I hate people who doesn’t care about their surroundings, y'know. I might never felt hated because my color skin (I’m white), but I know dark-skinned people suffer for it. So I’ll attend at whatever they say. And if I can make something to alleviate their pain or help them, I try to do it, y'know. But I can’t with people who only knows their own reality and doesn’t care to learn about the rest. (I don’t know if I’m making any sense bc I’ve been writing this sentence for a couple of hours,lol)

Oh no. She wasnt kind. It was meant to show me that she thinks i am to annoying and political, but i dont mind. It is what it is. What i found sad is that it wasnt even a boy who said that but a girl, but well. Whatever. Oh nono. Dont worry. I was just complaining because thats what i live for. I enjoy learning, but not this way. Anyway, it’s just one month and then summer!! I dont know if i will be working or not, but either way, it’s a great perspective. (6)

I feel like I have to say hi again, lol. I started writing yesterday (Tuesday) in the morning and now is Wednesday night 😒. May is so busy at the shop. And to add to that, today at 8am my cousin’s mom called me because he had woke up at 5am. He has a sleeping disorder, and sometimes he wakes up at 4-5am and he doesn’t go back to sleep. And I’m there for those days (bc the parents has to go to work, obviously). Anyway, I have to answer you now bc tomorrow will be busy too. I have to go to the shop to help my sister, bc we have TOO much to do.

Well, she doesn’t sound very kind. And I don’t know how good of a friend she can be if she says those things to you. And yes, I agree. I don’t like when people thinks like that, but when is a woman… I can’t. It’s like when some women say that “I’m sure she provoked him” when a girl is abused or raped. 😡😡😡.i, than am all for women solidarity, can’t comprehend how women can be “machista” (I can’t find the world in English?).And yeah, I’m the same. I love learning things, but I don’t like to be graded,jajajja. And, a free summer to go on vacation, or just rest, sounds amazing. But also, the money you can make working, sounds amazing, too,jajajjaja. Some people work for a month, and then enjoy the rest 🤷🏻‍♀️.

YEES. I SAW THE PICS. HE WAS SO CUUYTE. AND SMILING. Tought i feel bad because there was a lot of people around him and i dont like it. It gaves me the impression that people treat them as shiw monkeys :(. But anyway, i saw him!! 😍😍😍 Yep. I saw that theories too. Idk anything, but if that’s what he is doing, then i’ll wait. Of course i will. Did fhey really put For You in Pasapalabra? JAJAJAJA. He is trudly successing in life😂 Que nivel! (I sound ironic but I’m really happy internally). (7)

Awwwww, did you see him at that award show??? He is such a good person?? I hate that media doesn’t focus on that side of him. He’s kind, lovely, good amazing hugs, did you see how he kept rubbing her shoulder to keep her calm???? OMG! And,yeah, I hate that there’s always the same people around him, like he was a zoo animal.Yeah, I don’t watch Pasapalabra, but I got to watch it for a moment one day, and they have like this musical minute? And they played For You. I told my brother, and he told me that they play the same song every day for a week or more. So, I’m glad for Liam. He has a very good team behind him.

Surgery? Okay okay. Then i’m not asking, but i’m sending you luck and hugs!!! 🍀💕 I just saw that you did tell me about your irish nails. I must have not read that that day. Ups, sorry. I have finals, yes. I start tomorrow and i finish (if i pass everything at first try) around the 10th of June. I just have to suffer for a few weeks more.🤷 Thanks for asking!! (8)

Thanks love. I haven’t told anyone. Not even my friends know about it yet.

Ohhhhh, you’re in the middle of your exams. I really really wish you the best. That everything goes well, and you stay calm. And I hope you pass everything at your first try, so your summer is a bit longer. 😚😚

[typologycentral]

[ISTJ] I need advices. Deal breaker circumstance.

Hello everyone, i'm not a native english speaker, but i hope you all understand what im going to say. I have some questions (that are driving me insane of course), i will try to give you all the background about it. ENFP female in here, and him ISTJ. Internet frienship: Background: 1. In the first year of conversation (we spoke or wrote, every single day for over 1 hour, usually was up to 3 and more on weekends). During that whole year he constanly told me we werent friends, but he assisted me in several things, we shared precious moments even with the distance between us, i.e watching movies together at the same time, or shared screen and talk about our families, etc, i even make him stay awake just to see the sunrise when he didnt want it, and even being so far away i always felt him.. next to me. I always consider him a friend even when he deny that each time. I started to feel something for him but didnt tell him about those feelings, just decided to cut the relationship (we are from different countries), i told him, since he didnt consider me a friend was no point in keep on going, he accepted my quit from the relationship. 2. Well, after 8 months of silence, with 0 contact to him, he suddenly was back in my life. He sent a message saying "can you forgive me?"... i replyed, "theres nothing you should be forgiven for". So we start again, like those 8 months never existed. Again, lots of hours, lots of debates. Problem was, i got the confirmation that my feelings were still there. After 6 months of his return, those feelings were making me insane, so, i just wrote him a message while he was offline, in that message i told him, that again i needed some "space" or "cut", because i had feelings for him, i never especified wich ones, he replyed something like "ok, i thought we passed this phase, but i guess we didnt, life is life, and i dont have another option than just wait for you". I was back after a month of "space", he still at that very moment didnt recognize that we were friends. Really. So here was him, with no feelings for me, and me totally in love. After a while we got into a fight, because i felt him distant, he said everything was fine, i pushed him until he finally said he was distant because he wasnt feeling "the connection anymore", since i was bitter, i told him... "i hope she makes you happy"... (he never mentioned another woman, i just knew), and then he said.. "dont worry, im getting bored of her already, i will say she wont pass 2 months". So, he blocked me, and everything was done. 3. Two years and a half later (the now moment), i couldnt yet, take him out of my mind, and out of nowhere i recieved a message in my cell phone (notice, he told me he changed his phone, he didnt have my number no more, this was during the first year of our friendship) the message said something as "hello, a lot of things changed in these two and a half years, and we really need to talk again". We chatted for an hour and i needed to go. The next day, he sent me a message, in which, he explains to me his "PLAN", he told me he was in a moment of his life ready to move on and make a family, but was something holding him on a physical level. He also told me, he met some women in these 2 and a half years, but with none of the them had not even 10% of the connection or whatever he had with me. His Plan: He told me, i was his best female friend ever and that he loved me in that sense. And that all that he was about to tell me after, for me would sound really really bad, but fits perfectly in his logic. He said, i woke up a couple of days ago with the idea of meeting you, let that idea developed in my mind and then another idea came to my mind, and saw that two pieces match perfect. I want you to come (to his country), no matter what, because that is the main goal, second goal is that you help me to become a man (sexually speaking), he said, you know i want to do this right, with someone i deeply care about, you always thought i was saving it for someone special but its more like i didnt knew how to give it away, i want to experience love with a person that is open minded and can even laugh in a situation like that, that had the experience in that particular field, and also a person that have all my trust, and you are all of that, we know each other really well, we had that deep bond, so you are the perfect match. I know if we do this, i probably fall in love with you, (he wants me to stay with him for 2 weeks or something) but eventually i will have to fight that feeling and break free, but that new perspective of experiencing love will make my life richier, i know this all sound crazy and selfish, but its only because is planned. Please don't you dare to think i'm somehow paying you, to get what i want, dont you even dare!, because you know i respect you, keep your mind open please. Even if you said "no" to this idea, the idea of the travel to meet me still goes, cause its relevant, i will wait for your answer, take your time, im not in a hurry. Question: was he lying the whole time before when he didnt call me friend? or? (i asked him this, and he said, he doesnt "remember", he say "i said we werent?") Question: "im not saving it for someone special and i want you to be the one cause i deeply care about you"... isnt it someone that one deeply care about ergo someone special? Question: should i take him seriously? by the book? when he say "i probably fall in love with you, but eventually i will have to fight that feeling and break free" Question: Would you dare to ask something like that to a person you consider a friend? My reply: (basically i told him NO, and also told him i love him) (so you can skip this part if you want) Of course, me being an enfp, or futhermore being a human being, a person, i felt totally insulted. TOTALLY. So, i didnt control my first reaction, and sent him a voice message, telling him all my feelings. I told him, that it sounded selfish, cause primarly it was. I told him, he was using our friendship and the feelings to get what he wanted, that i was surprised that now suddenly i was his best female friend that he deeply care about, that "this plan" was totally wrong, lacking of ethics, morals, etc, that he should never do again that to a person, he cant just get what he wants no matter what, that he wanted to used me and discarted me as garbage, and even more allow himself to say i shouldnt "dare to think" that he has bad intentions, that he really disappointed me, that i never expected such a horrible thing from him, that he indeed changed but for the bad, that i was surprised that he is smart enough for some things and so dumb for others, that he couldnt even replaced me in 2 years for another woman, that i could actually make the "favour" for him, of making him a man, but that i could never teach him how to love because he needs a heart for that, not a brain, that he will never experience anything for real if he doesnt allow himself to do something spontaneous for once in his life, that he doesnt have the "b... " to live without a plan, and that is half living, etc etc etc, and finished my voice message saying (while crying).. you know what? i cant do the trip and i cant help you with the other thing, for a simple reason.. i love you, i have always loved you, and you know this, i dont even have to said it, i wish things would be different, so i can actually have fun with this idea of yours, but my feelings are in the middle and are strong, and i cant allow myself to do this, because i know i will come back home eartbroken, im sorry, i wish you all the blessings that the universe can bring to your life multiplied by infinite. Now, if you really care about me, as you said you do, not even much, just a little bit, please dont come back to my life never again, because each time you do it, its more difficult for me, please! erase me from your mind, take care, bye. His answer: He said, that was somehow prepared for most of the message, except from the part in wich i was crying and telling him i love him, he said, i was "unprepared for that", he said "no words are right for a moment like this, you know im not a emotional person unfortunatly, but if i was i would probably be crying for the rest of the day, i cant say im happy because in my mind i lose a friend, cant say im sad either because i felt something in my heart for the first time and its beautiful, i cant live my life without a plan, im just too insecure for that, it doesnt matter if it is a good plan or bad, for me will always feel like a right plan, i wish you all the best, and also i wish you, that you follow your own advice and deleted me from your mind, maybe just a glance, if you see the sun in your face or a weird look that a cat is given you.. think "how is he going, i hope he is well and happy" and i will do the same for you, i promise". Oh! also he said, the "old him" in a situation like this will argue and debate why im "wrong".. but his "new him" understood everything i said. Question: deleting someone of your mind, is deleting them. Then, why he said maybe a glance.. is he trying to manipulate me into remember him? (i know this question is for interpretation, but i want to know all possible perspectives) So, after like 2 days, i wasn't block.. which i thought was weird, because i mean i asked him to deleted me from his mind, so i thought he would blocked my phone number or something.. but no. And since im stupid, i wrote him, told him i just needed to understand this to close the circle, just needed to understand why he was doing this to me, why, asked him if he actually planned this since the very beginning, asked him, lots of thing, i was full of "why". He said he was always honest, he didnt plan this from the very beggining and was exactly as he told me prior, that just one idea came after the other, that i shouldnt worry, that the "man" deal he will figure out, but he really thought was a good idea and blah blah blah. Question: why he didnt block me? Do you people expect the other part to make the cut in a situation like this?-- Because he told me "i will do as you ask me to, and erase you". then ... Why he didnt? Important details in my opinion His family expects him to marry a particular type of woman and i dont fill any of the requiriments that they ask for, except from being human and woman, he never told his parents about me or our relationship, because according to him, they are very conservative and they will push him to drop me, so they dont know of my existence. Also, when we talked about his "second part of the plan" i make him notice that he doesnt have any physical attraction towards me, and he said, well i give that importance but neither i felt that "attraction" to other woman. He claims, he doesnt like man in that way neither (he strongly denied that in several times), and when i brought the subject of "asexuality" he completely ignored it, and even change the subject. The NOW Im still in touch with him, even changed my mind about the travel part, so we argued about the travel part for weeks, and since he is a control freak, and we were getting nowhere in negotiation, i told him, we should take some space and later i will put in contact with him, he accepted. In those 2 weeks almost without talking to him, i cried and thought a lot, also i went to do my passport (just to confirm to my mind, that the decision was taken). Since he never called me "friend" until now days, and he strongly denied that word with a lot of arguments for many years, to now suddenly admit it, then, that tells me that maybe his mind is more confussing than mine. Question: can that be the case? that he is confused regarding a couple of things? that he doesnt have in his mind everything solved? So, i contacted him, i told him i got the passport. We were planning things, and once again, he bringed the "second part of the plan" into the table, i was upset, he told me it wasnt a condition, but he was still thinking about it, cause he wanted to gain some "experience" out of all of this, and he is pretty confident that is going to happen.I told him i can't guarantee NOTHING on that matter, and that apparently for him, that was the most important thing, he said "is not the most important but i still didn't get to a conclusion about it" I really always trusted him, cause he was always honest, but i cant help to think, in this particular situation that he really doesnt care about me, not as a person, not as friend, even when he says he does, and the thing that he put that subject again in the table is telling me, that actually that is his main goal, so i would be just a tool in this machiavellian plan. Question: can he be a total liar, faking everything, and really in his mind im a tool? How far would you guys go for achieve a plan? what are the signs that you guys show when you are lying? how can i pick a lie in an istj? Is really hard for me to read him, or maybe im readed him totally well, but i just cant believe this whole thing. Any advice, suggestion, view, perspective, analysis, or even answer to the questions i made, will be very much appreciated. Im sorry for this long message and for all the grammar, and typo mistakes, and once again, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=92617&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr