#or if I forgot to answer to something

[lokh]

note: i mean do you leave the oven door open, not whether you leave it turned on

[darqx]

Aren't you tired of being nice?

[rendevok]

The feeling of butterflies 🦋💕 - my piece for the @unfoldingmelodyzine, a kapollo charity zine

Also please check out the fic, of metamorphosis and butterflies by cosmicpoet on ao3

IDs in alt texts. More deets & a breakdown under the cut! ^^

This zine also offered a separate, behind the scenes breakdown of pieces; so you can see my thoughts & step-by-step process here!

It was a real honor to be a part of this project, as well as collab with Gabe on this very romantic scene for klapollo; we even made a playlist together (which u can enjoy)! There are so many things about this work that really pushed my skills and made me really proud of it, but i have to say… my favorite detail is the butterflies! If you can find all 29, then bravo!

[aquanutart]

She is offering water to any lost travelers! However, it's so hot that the water has become tea, so she's adjusted accordingly!

[arom-antix]

Me? Posting finished art? Ain't no way :O

No but @korruptbrekker reached out to me and asked if I was interested in doing a collab (go check out their piece here, I implore you), and you know I could not say no to such a wonderful artist asking lil ol me to do something fun like this. We ended up doing a swap @laugaheim and I came up with ages ago that I so sussinctly refer to as a moodboard-sketch-lineart-render swap. Rolls right off the tongue, right? Nah but it's exactly what it says. Make moodboards, swap and sketch from the other's, swap again and line the other's sketch, and then swap once again and finish the piece you sketched.

Very big thanks to Brekker for reaching out! This was so fun, I hope we can do something together again in the future!

[jicklet]

Elemental (2023)

[ninyard]

Currently obsessed with the question of exactly when Kevin stopped thinking of Riko as his best friend.

(Don't think Riko stopped thinking of Kevin as his best friend until he walked onto the court with his new tattoo.)

I absolutely fully believe in my heart and soul that until Kevin stepped onto that court for their final game together, Riko still believed in some way that he was going come back to him. Riko still saw Kevin as his best friend until the moment he saw that queen piece on his cheek, and it was then and only then that it hit home that he'd lost him.

Riko's feelings towards Kevin don't make sense, they never made sense; He wanted to kill him, he loved him, he can't wait to see him, he can't look at him, he wants to make his life hell, he can't lose him. He's mine, I hate him, I love him, I want to hurt him.

Riko knew Kevin wasn't ever coming back. But he kept his bedroom untouched and undisturbed. He wanted him back, but he wanted him gone. He's obsessed with him, and he's his biggest competitor.

I don't know if he actually wanted Kevin back, either. Was it a control thing? A need to have him in arms reach, to keep him in line, to own him again, just like how it used to be? They used to be best friends. They used to laugh with each other before interviews, they used to sit next to each other on the bus and talk about exy like it was the only thing that mattered - there were only ever three things that did matter in the world: Him, Kevin and exy.

But Riko forgets how he treated Kevin, or he doesn't want to remember it, or he knows and he doesn't care, or he thinks it's only right that Kevin looks past it all. Kevin is his best friend, after all. Kevin is his brother.

Without Kevin he has nothing, but with Kevin he is nothing.

I think Riko gets a thrill out of seeing Kevin. I think his lips twitch into a smile every time he waits for Kevin to turn the corner at a banquet, or a match, or a TV interview. That's Riko's best friend, that's the only person who knows him, the only person who has ever looked at him like he was worth anything (when Kevin only looked at him like he was a monster).

Then Kevin turns the corner, and his tattoo is bigger than it should be, and then it's on every screen around the stadium. And there it is. That queen piece. Everything is ruined, everything is over, everything is different now, and it's never going to go back to the way that it was. Every little thing that he'd kept sacred, waiting for it to be okay, to be fixed, to be back to normal, just destroyed in front of his eyes in an instant (while proving that it was never, ever coming back)

[radioroxx]

thinking about the colour stuff in isat again bc it is strange to me. i know its supposed to be, magic or whatever, that they cant see colours anymore. but scientifically ….

option A would be that the entire population had their eyeshape permanently damaged (achromatopsia-type colourblindness if i am correct), which carried over into human evolution forever OR option B that everything (like. EVERYTHING) had its atomic make-up jiggled around to remove colour.

option B feels less likely to me on account of, like. in that case, why keep the greyscale specifically? if its based on electron arrangement alone i feel like. there is bound to be SOME variant that allows for a mistake. ESPECIALLY since white light is technically made up of all coloured lights, black is an absence of light, and grey is made up of half-colours. these colours would still have to exist in order for there to even be a greyscale.

option A makes more sense considering those… the idea that colour DOES still exist but just cant be Seen,,, but then you consider the wish stuff, that broken wishes can reveal colours to people, and like. i dunno. feels a bit ridiculous to me the hypothetical that broken wishes can temporarily cure your colourblindness just because.

oh well though <3 i am just throwing thoughts around. also to be clear i am not an expert on this i have been googling info as i go

[lycandrophile]

hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs

i have one question for you: so fucking what?

i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”

i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.

what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.

if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.

like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.

and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.

this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.

who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?

[amimuu]

to the disciples:

how do y’all feel abt narinder?

In reality they all hate his guts. With reason

[0rchidm4ntis]

[What if we just hadn't said goodbye?]

Some design notes below the cut

-both of their expressions are meant to represent the way they felt about the outcome of ep 24. shinji has his eyes on kaworu with an expression of hurt and betrayal meanwhile kaworu is at peace with his decision, eyes closed and unable to see how shinji may feel now

-i know the pilots are never seen wielding weapons themselves in the show and that evas haven't been shown using a sword at any point either however i kind of live for the fact that swords held blade down look like crosses. i couldn't help myself with that one it was too good an opportunity to pass

-hard to tell bc I couldn't put much effort into them but the flowers making up kaworu's bouquet are blue roses, often recognised as a symbol for secret or unattainable love

-whether the way kaworu holds a bouquet makes him look like a bride ready to walk down the aisle or a corpse laying in their casket. well. ill leave the choice up to you

-i also wanted the items they're holding to parallel one another. shinji holds a red sword dripping with blue blood meanwhile kaworu holds blue roses ever so slightly stained by fresh blood. shinji is the only one holding a weapon because he's the only one causing physical harm in the end, and kaworu doesn't have any because he's given up on fighting for his life

[arttsuka]

Tiny mer Jed: "Well they ain't keeping us in this bowl!" (jumps out of the bowl dragging Octavius along and they land with a small wet splat on the floor)

Tiny mer Octavius: (stunned, shakes his head) "Reckless fool! What in Neptune's name are you doing!?"

Jed: "We flop to freedom or we die trying!"

*tiny wet slapping noises as the duo flop away across the floor*

Ok who's gonna write a fic about that

[meltedmush]

how long does it take you to draw your sketches/doodles? also do you have any tips to draw faster? 🙇‍♀️

I generally take 30 - 60 minutes a sketch,,,, but honestly really depends on how detailed it is.

Like a Chibi will be done in 20 - 25 minutes (Counting in the extra time I spend on minute details like a perfectionist 😭)

I for some reason really like spending egregious amounts of time on random objects too??? Unless it’s the in the background, I’ll spend 40 minutes refining it.

Random characters that are fully colored and rendered with take like 80 minutes.

The comics take usually take an hour or two per page. (If I decide to cross hatch it, my entire day will be gone with 4 pages… so I’ve been trying to find shortcuts. But not without sacrificing the quality for time lol)

I don’t think there’s any trick or magic to drawing faster. It’s really about weaponizing your artistic knowledge, and finding what’s comfortable or convenient for you!

There was a period of time where I would spend 11 or 12 hours on an illustration, and it wASS UGLYYYYY. (Some of these artworks are still available on my tumblr,,, but it’s SO LONG AGO, AND IT WAS MY 1ST OR 2ND YEAR GETTING INTO DIGITAL ART)

Overtime I learned what worked best for me, and practiced till I felt more comfortable with what I was drawing. Eventually I managed to shorten the time to 4 hours or less! Ambition was my biggest enemy but at the same time my biggest motivator. (And it still is LMFAO) 😭

EDIT (bit more to my way too long tangent): ALSO??? BRO DON’T BE AFRAID TO USE YOUR MESSY SKETCH AS LINEART OR DRAW ON TOP OF IT. I’VE DONE IT FOR YEARS NOW AND IT ADDS SUCH A GOOD EXTRA BIT OF TEXTURE,, AT THIS POINT I DON’T EVEN USE LINE-ART ANY MORE UNLESS IT’S A COMMISSION,, (IT’LL ADD LIKE AN 2-4 HOURS TO MY WORK)

[codemiracle]

Wait...I'm a little confused, wasn't Yuuta's father the leader of a cult or something like that? Then, do Yuuta and Tatsuya have this in common? Or are they related in some way?

(Sorry if this ask is a spoiler!)

I-I completely forgot I said that Yuuta's father is a cult leader Hahahaha.... hahahaa... Uhhh yes, you're onto something.

[exotic-dinostuff]

AHHAHSHSHS IS THAT WHAT IT'S CALLED? I just found the alcoholic cat eating angeldust funny I didn't know it was a ship 😭

This is what I get for only watching the music video ahhaha

[anonymouspuzzler]

Have you seen that new show on YouTube "The amazing digital circus?" (Or the pilot I mean)

Also, are you a fan of indie productions? Or more specifically surrealist ones like TADC or ENA?

heard of it