#leaning towards colourblindness again….

[radioroxx]

thinking about the colour stuff in isat again bc it is strange to me. i know its supposed to be, magic or whatever, that they cant see colours anymore. but scientifically ….

option A would be that the entire population had their eyeshape permanently damaged (achromatopsia-type colourblindness if i am correct), which carried over into human evolution forever OR option B that everything (like. EVERYTHING) had its atomic make-up jiggled around to remove colour.

option B feels less likely to me on account of, like. in that case, why keep the greyscale specifically? if its based on electron arrangement alone i feel like. there is bound to be SOME variant that allows for a mistake. ESPECIALLY since white light is technically made up of all coloured lights, black is an absence of light, and grey is made up of half-colours. these colours would still have to exist in order for there to even be a greyscale.

option A makes more sense considering those… the idea that colour DOES still exist but just cant be Seen,,, but then you consider the wish stuff, that broken wishes can reveal colours to people, and like. i dunno. feels a bit ridiculous to me the hypothetical that broken wishes can temporarily cure your colourblindness just because.

oh well though <3 i am just throwing thoughts around. also to be clear i am not an expert on this i have been googling info as i go

[earthflaxmachina]

wen-ciety reupload

this is a repost of the first essay from my website. 9/12/21.

OK this is the first manuscript thing ever cool. I'm gonna be talking about various aspects of the world in which Wence Boys is set. Many of these aren't that important to the story, but it's still fun to imagine what a world where (most) animals evolved into bigger, biped organisms.

First thing's first, there are absolutely 0 humans in this world; apes are still just apes, but more civilized. Secondly, microorganisms are still microorganisms, it would have to be some fucked up futuristic setting if they had working arms and legs - that said, there are plenty of Wence people who are less physically evolved than others, since (season 1 of) Wence Boys is meant to be set in 2019, hence the Boys being listed as slightly younger than they would be now. And I gotta clear this up - the world in which Wence Boys is set doesn't have a name, I'm not good with those, so let's just call it Earth2.

Take these two for example:

So Jeff is an East Pacific Red Octopus, he has 2 fully-evolved arms and 4 tentacle arms. This does not mean at some point he'll have 6 fully formed amrs with fingers and stuff, it's more of a generational thing. There are probably other octopuses with more fully formed arms, just not his bloodline - yet. Luciano's bloodline, for example, is very evolved! They're all super tall, lean, and can breathe on land, with his gills basically acting as "nostrils" on his neck.

Is this important? Not really. But it implies the existence of people without legs - just a fish tail (like a mermaid lol)! In that world this would probably be considered a disability on land, which means there would be accommodations to make Land more accessible, e.g wheelchairs. Similarly... water tanks for fish who cannot breathe on land, special glasses for colourblind dogs, etc. I don't know where I'm going with this, it's an interesting thought though.

So does that mean there's ableism? - not exactly: on an interspecies level, no; within a species, maybe. At least with physical handicaps, there isn't many issues - the animal kingdom is enormously diverse, there would have to be a hundred accommodations for communal areas to be accessible to *everyone*, not just the disabled. An example would be the delivery thing for giraffes in Zootopia. In short, no - Earth2 is a diverse world (there are roughly 9000 species of birds!), and so everyone is different and respects each other's differences and works towards a world where they can all coexist within 1 civilization.

The geography of Earth2 is the same as Earth. Unlike Earth, this USA is actually run by animals native to that area, with the exception of immigrants. Wence is the name of the state the Boys live in, the Earth equivalent would be California - meaning Wence Boys directly translates to California Boys.

Where do they get food? Here's the thing, when you die in Earth2, you're either chopped up and prepared for the markets, left to decompose somewhere, or donated to science. It is randomly selected by the folks at your city hall, some exceptions apply.

1) You're food - your body is cut up, organs are harvested and off to the grocery store it is. People are still animals, so they still abide by food chains. Some animals cannibalize, others don't, however this is taboo now. Apex predators rarely get eaten, an exception might be whales, who are sometimes eaten by Orcas. Again, you could theoretically try eating something that would've eaten you thousands of years ago, but it would be pretty awkward, given they even sell it to you. This means there are *rarely* burial traditions for people, excluding apex predators.

2) You rot - this is the only occasion for burial traditions, you get put in the dirt and decompose. This is a control measure to keep the food chain balanced. Cremations are never a thing.

3) You're donated to science - there is no kind of consent form needed, the ethics pretty much stopped at corpses getting turned into food.

Since there isn't a statistic to the total number of animals there are in the world, I don't really have a frame of reference for what percentage of the global population of Earth2 is mincemeat.

That's it for now, I hope you had fun reading, lol.

[pachitoherrera]

Pacho // safe – pt.2

a/n: alright my lovely angels, here is part 2! you can find part one here although it is not necessary to read it beforehand, as this part can be seen seperately! I hope you guys like it, and let me know what you think !🌸

You knew he was trouble from the moment you laid eyes on the self-confident smile and the gun that flashed under his jacket as he walked in. In fact, you should have seen it coming even before that, when the sound of motorcycles drowned out the music inside the bar and heads were turned to find the source of the disturbance, conversations ceasing.

You knew he was trouble before the whole country knew. You could tell by the expensive watch on his wrist, the golden chain hanging from his neck and by the way his eyes were watching you over his glass, dark and cold, hiding depths that you would slowly get to discover in the following years. 

You knew he was trouble the closer you got to him, slowly becoming one of his confidants, inevitably being dragged into the glorious and dangerous life of drug business. But never had you realized the reality of the danger until the wedding night of Gilberto Rodriguez’s daughter. It wasn’t the first time you had seen death, yet it was the first time you had felt true terror, fear for your life, fear for his life. 

The shuffling of footsteps outside your room made you snap out of your nostalgia trip, and soon a knocking was heard on your door. “Come in.” The man – one of three assigned by Pacho to guard you, endearingly labelled as Babysitters by you – appeared at the opening, his gun in its holster. “Navegante is here to see you.” “Oh?” You immediately got up, following the man to the entrance room of your small house. Navegante was no stranger to you, a peculiar man, although you always assumed he was hiding much more behind his silence. And so you knew that he was no man for small, insignificant message deliveries. 

“Don Pacho sent me to get you. Please pack your bag.” You scoffed, shaking your head. The events of the wedding hadn’t changed your mind about leaving the country, Pacho knew that. “Where to?”, you asked as gently as possible, trying to cover your annoyance. 

“A safe place.” 

“Thanks to these gentlemen” – you gestured towards your personal guards “ – my place is quite safe too. So I would prefer to stay here.” Navegante’s eyes hushed over the other men before looking back at you, nodding sympathetically. “I can’t allow that. Please understand that my orders are to not leave this place without you, no matter how. But truth is, I would prefer without force.” 

With a small suitcase containing your most important travel baggage and you in the backseat, Navegante drove up the driveway to the luxury villa. You faintly remembered this place, away from the city, surrounded by wild fields, a small paradise in the middle of nowhere. 

Pacho was already waiting, hands in his pockets, and by the cocky smile you could tell he was expecting your mood. “What‘s that all about?“, you asked slightly irritated, even before having fully stepped out of the car. He greeted you with a kiss on each cheek, his hands on your shoulders to hold you in place, knowing very well that else you would resist in your current state. “Change of plans. It’s safer for you to stay here.“ You stopped moving, eyes seeking his, looking for a hint to give away any worries. “What happened? Did you do something again?“ He tilted his head, fake indignation written on his face. „It hurts me that you think it is something I did.“ “Because most of the time it’s true. You attract trouble like a magnet, Pacho Herrera”, you said, watching Navegante carrying your suitcase inside. “So, where is my champagne reception? Is that how you treat your guests?” He laughed – a sound that had become rare lately, but made your heart smile – and leaned closer to you, lowering his voice. “Only the special ones.” His left hand gestured towards the entrance while his right hand found its place on your back, softly pushing your forward. “Why did you send Navegante?”, you asked while allowing him to lead you inside, admiring the paintings on the walls. “I figured he would be better at persuading you than I am.” “How right you were.” 

The place resembled a small holiday resort, big pool outside, even a small inside pool, a bar, own cooks, only the heavily-armed guards disturbing the picture of tranquillity. To your surprise, you spent a great amount of time with Pacho. Your conversations came naturally, reaching from complex political and business discussions to – after one or two cocktails too many – playful flirtations. When he was away, you tried to befriend the guards, engage them in small-talk or deeper conversations. You even managed to get Navegante to talk, and came to the conclusion that there was, in fact, a lot more behind his silence, true to the saying still waters run deep.

On the eighth day, you woke up to find yourself alone in the house, save the usual amount of guards. Pacho was gone, and to your surprise, it saddened you. Even though this place was a small paradise, the only reason that made your stay enjoyable was the time spent with him.

To make time run faster, and occupy your mind before worrying thoughts of Pacho’s whereabouts would start driving you crazy – after all, you cared about his safety as much as he did about yours – you decided to bring your baking skills to use, as long as the kitchen staff was absent. 

Humming to yourself, absorbed in your work, you didn’t hear the footsteps approaching. If you had turned around, you would have seen Pacho leaning in the doorway, his eyes soft and a smile on his lips that was so different from the smiles he usually wore. And maybe you even would have noticed the hint of confusion, as he tried to come to terms with this unusual feeling caused by your presence, the feeling that was the reason he felt as if every ounce of breath was taken from his lungs when you smiled at him, the feeling that ached his heart, but at the same time drove out the anger to replace it with warmth.

But you didn’t turn around, didn’t see the way he looked at you like a colourblind man, seeing a blooming garden of flowers for the first time. And when you finally did turn around, he was gone.

On the tenth day, you grew weary of your shortened wardrobe and sneaked into Pacho’s closet, a neatly organized room, filled with the most extravagant shirts. You let your hand slide over the different colours and fabrics until you pulled one out. The silk felt smooth under your grip, and you recognized the pattern immediately. He wore it on the day you first met, years ago in that small bar, a day that would forever change the course of your life. Unsurprisingly, the shirt was too large, and so you decided to leave it unbuttoned, only tying the ends together to cover what needed to be covered.

Pacho was on the phone in his office, by the tone of his voice you figured he was speaking to Gilberto, so you casually waved at him while walking past the room. He raised his hand, and just before you went out of view again, you saw his expression change. With quick steps you rushed to the living room, before he could stop you, picking an apple from the fruit basket. 

You barely had time to take the first bite before the soudn of steps could be heard behind you. “Why are you wearing my shirt?” You shrugged while swallowing.  “I ran out of clothes to wear. Besides – ” with a smile, you twirled around. “It looks much better on me.” The corners of his mouth twitched, but his expression remained the same, and for a short moment you wondered whether you had hurt him. And then you remembered who you were talking to, and that it took more than that. “I will send someone to get your things”, he finally said, earning an eye-roll from you. “Just let me go home already.” “No.” He leaned closer, face inches away from yours. “Just be patient, alright.” While you were trying to figure out why this physical proximity drove heat to your cheeks, he grabbed the apple out of your hand and took a bite while walking back to his office, leaving you frowning at him.

On the twelfth day, over a strawberry daiquiri, you admitted that you didn’t know how to dance properly. Through a detailed argumentation about the great importance of dance in Colombian culture, especially in the city of Cali, Pacho had persuaded you to “exclusive dance lessons – a once in a lifetime chance”, as he called it. The carefreeness evoked by alcohol prevailed against embarrassment,  and so you allowed him to take your hand and lead you to the dimly lit lounge.

You wouldn’t be able to recall what you talked about that evening, when his hands felt so naturally around your body, the familiarity between you bordering on intimacy. All you’d remember would be the way his body felt against yours when you touched, the way his eyes seemed to stare into your soul, his voice – husky but soft, and ultimately, the moment you realized that maybe it had always been more than just friendship.

Two weeks after you first arrived in this place, the news channels talked about the end of Pablo Escobar. Medellin went back to normal, life and laughter rising once again in the streets, the fear that had previously ruled the city was slowly disappearing, although the terror that was caused by one single man would never be forgotten. He wasn’t caught yet, but left without anyone to support him. And even though you grew used to this place, you came to the conclusion that spending any more time with Pacho would be challenging. Your latest realization only scared you, and as a natural human reaction to uncomfortable truths, you decided to avoid it. 

It was one of the hot days, where you spend the late morning lying by the pool and reading one of the many books you found in Pacho’s office. El viejo y el mar – the old man and the sea. “A classic.” You looked up to see Pacho standing in the entrance to the house, hands casually in his pockets. “Didn’t know you were that literate”, you said nonchalantly, putting the book aside. “All the good things in life.” He walked over to the sunbed next to you, sitting down. “My men find it quite distracting when you walk around half-naked, trying to engage them in conversations.” A short laugh escaped your lips, surprise mixed with confusion, the serious expression on his face indicating discontent. “Maybe you have the wrong men for this job then.” This time he laughed, face soothing, although the laugh didn’t reach his eyes. “Or listen, Pacho, maybe it is just time for me to go back home. Pablo Escobar is done”, you carefully started while watching him, noticing the subtle tensioning of his jaw. “He is still out there. As long as he is alive, he will be a threat. I don’t want to keep you here against your will, but it is for –” “Just for my safety, yes I gathered that”, you cut him short. “But is it really? For me? Or are you doing it for yourself, to have a clear conscience?” His eyes widened, only for a brief moment, but you had noticed. Body frozen, he then lowered his gaze, cigarette in his hand left to burn out. You waited, expecting him to brush you off, telling you to not be ridiculous in his usual sophisticated tone. But after a long pause, he just looked up, no words needed to express the guilt in his eyes. You stood up, taking the cigarette out of his hand in the process. Leaving Pacho speechless was not an easy achievement, and under these circumstances, you wouldn’t want to call it an achievement even. “I am tired of being treated like a prisoner, Pacho.” With a long drag, you finished the cigarette and leaned forward to put it out in the ashtray before walking back inside.

“Wait.” You stopped, turning around to face Pacho who was coming up to you, relieved that he didn’t let you walk away. “Do you really feel like that? Like a prisoner?” His voice was softer than usual, containing an insecurity that was new to you. It was strange, the way he managed to make you feel bad like no other, almost like out of the two of you, you were the cold, ruthless one. “I – no, I’m sorry. It’s nice here, but it’s not home”, you said, trying to take the weight out of your earlier statement. “We can make it your home.” You opened your mouth, but couldn’t think of an answer, astonishment sitting deep in your bones. “You are right”, he continued. “I am being egoistic, because I like this place better when you are here, and even the thought of something happening to you out there sickens me.” More than once had you tried to avoid the idea of the two of you being more than friends, afraid that it would be a ridiculous wish, which, in the end, would cause you more pain than a bullet in your body. And so, because it had been such an absurd notion, you had never thought of the way you would react in case it actually happened. You slowly forced yourself to awake from your trance-like state, knowing that Pacho rarely talked about his feelings, and your silence would only be unsettling him. And that’s the last thing you desired, because actually, you wanted him to know that he was the source of your happiness, that no safe houses, no amount of guards would make you feel as safe as being by his side. But you were afraid of blurting it all out, years of friendship and trust at risk. So instead, you reached for his hand, bringing it to your lips. “As long as you walk this earth, I refuse something happening to me”, you whispered against his skin, “after all, I need to look after you and all the trouble you cause.” He smiled, visibly relieved, and pulled you closer to place a kiss on your head. Moments of silence passed before you spoke again. “If I am to stay here longer now, we have to make a few changes to this place.” “Anything you want.”

[breakingsomething]

the fall part seventeen - the sky is falling

basic summary: exactly what is says on the tin.

trigger warnings: stabbing, hypnotism

tagslist: @synonymsforzombie @spicydanhowell @skyewardlight @dreaming-of-stories-and-stars @cest-mellow @graveyardlettuce @lower-your-expectationss (i got so fucking close to forgetting the tagslist again but!! i remembered are y'all proud!!)

well, this certainly wasn't normal.

it looked like the sky was made of colourful lava. that was the only way marvin could think of to describe it. trails of thick magma looking chunks falling and hitting the ground, almost glitching but never actually harming anyone. it seemed that none of the nomags could see it, which wasn't surprising, given the veil, but with the way it had been collapsing recently, it had affected them in other ways. the nomags were starting to glitch the same way that anti did, the way everything seemed to do now that jackie has fucked things up. nothing stayed still anymore. marvin was really beginning to worry.

"if it's not hurting anyone, then we're ok," chase said to him uncertainly, holding louise and connor close to him. "right?"

chase had called stacy already, but she had no clue what was going on, the veil seemingly shielding her too. "why can't mama see the falling sky?" connor had asked him, and then the lot of them had tried to figure out why louise and connor could see through the veil when no other nomag's could. chase was certain it was just their blood relation to him, and the reason he could see it was his blood relation to marvin, jackie and henrik. none of them were quite certain how that worked, but they honestly had bigger problems to deal with right now.

the first call marvin had received was from naomi. "have you seen the fucking sky?" she shouted immediately, and marvin pulled the phone away from his ear, wincing. "it looks - it looks like -"

"sky lava?" marvin guessed. "and there's no need to shout, i'm right here."

"sorry," she said, much quieter. "and i was gonna say "fire clouds," but lava i guess i can see. anyway, what the fuck is this shit? is it to do with jackie again? i'm trying to contact lucas, but he won't pick up."

marvin sighed, listening to chase and henrik attempt to reassure connor and louise about the sky. difficult to do when none of them knew what was going on. "lucas was round with us for a while, but he left a few hours ago. he was texting chase not long ago too, so don't worry. i'm gonna try to contact kazuki or someone else from hecate, katy or charlie or mateo, just someone. hopefully we can somehow sort this."

"ok, ok," naomi said slowly. "ok. unrelated, but - i think anti was just round at my shop? asking for your address?"

marvin frowned. "when was this?"

"like, five minutes ago, not even. he left before i saw the sky and called you." something clattered on her end. "shit. so what's up with him? he was acting so weird."

marvin was about to answer when he saw a sleek white car pull up outside, and blinked when he saw who was inside. "naomi, i think i might have to call you back. i'm pretty sure kazuki just drove to our house."

"kazuki?" naomi asked. and sure enough, a tall woman in jeans and a perfectly sized white hoodie had stepped out, making eye contact with marvin through the window. marvin furrowed his brow, throwing both hands up in a what the fuck? gesture.

"yep, it's her," he said, stepping away from the window and marching towards the door purposefully. "i'll call you back soon. love you."

he clicked off and threw open the front door. kazuki was already there, chin lifted and a serious look on her face. "mr mcloughlin," she said. "i take it you've seen the sky."

"i have, yes," he said, raising an eyebrow. "never seen you dress so casually, kaz. the world must be ending."

"ha, ha," she said dryly. "i got dressed quickly. and don't call me kaz. now, the main problem." she waved a hand upwards. "i believe this is -"

"- to do with jackie?" marvin sighed. his eyes flickered to the ground. "it always is, isn't it."

kazuki nodded grimly. "may i come inside? the clouds are on fire and i have gotten three hours of sleep. i may need coffee."

marvin stepped aside to let her in. "i was just on a call with naomi. she actually said the same thing about fire clouds. personally, i think it looks like sky lava."

"naomi who?" kazuki asked, marching briskly through the kitchen. chase, connor and louise looked up in shock, and marvin shrugged, grimacing. "also, that's ridiculous. fire and lava don't even look the same."

"uh, hello," chase said faintly, blinking. "nice to see you here, uh - connor, louise, this is miss kamata. she's a magician like uncle marvin."

at those words, connor promptly leapt from his papa's lap and bounced up to kazuki excitedly. "oh, oh, you do magic too?" he squealed. "can i see? uncle marvin does such cool stuff, he lights his hand on fire and makes cool shapes appear in the air like uncle jackie does, only uncle jackie is way better at it and he can draw glowing dragons in the air!"

kazuki raised an eyebrow at the boy, who was practically vibrating with excitement. "well… i do air magic. i make things fly."

connor's eyes bulged, and his jaw dropped so far his mouth formed a perfect o. "no! way!" he gushed. "that's - that's so, so cool!"

chase chuckled, tapping the table to get his son's attention. "come on, con. miss kamata is busy right now. maybe you can see another day, but not now."

connor deflated. "these fire clouds are ruining everything," he mumbled, slinking over back to his father's lap.

marvin took that opportunity to restart his conversation. "it's naomi gudmundson," he explained. "agrokinesis magician? she's with hecate? how can you not know your own members?"

kazuki had recovered from connor's brief word dump, and was now leaning against the washing machine, shrugging. "i may know her. i recognize the last name, and i doubt it's all that common here. anyway, that's not what i'm here to talk to you about."

"are you here to talk about the the fire clouds?" louise piped up, to everyone's surprise. as soon as she'd said it she snuggled back on her father's lap, watching her legs swing under the new kitchen table. kazuki smiled at the child softly.

"i am," she said. "i do believe your… uncle jackie may be involved in this. are you…" she hesitated, and glanced towards marvin. she lowered her voice. "what do they know?"

"they think he's moved away," marvin whispered. "chase panicked. we couldn't just tell them - it would fucking kill them to find out what he did, so we told them he went to ireland for a while."

kazuki nodded, then turned back to the kids and smiled again. "your uncle might have come back. but… he's a little bit different now."

chase shook his head suddenly. "hey - hey, we don't know that," he said weakly. "he might not be - we haven't seen him since the incident at hecate, how would we know if he was coming back?"

kazuki gestured towards the window. "fire clouds," she deadpanned. "this isn't normal weather magic. it's something to do with the veil and we only know of one person who's been involved in that."

"jackie can't have anything to do with this," chase said firmly, seemingly having forgotten about the kids on his lap. "i've seen his magic, me and henrik both, it was nothing like this. i don't give a fucking shit about the goddamn veil. this is all -"

he suddenly remembered himself and flushed, shoulders shooting to his ears. "uh… don't use any of the words papa's using right now," he said quietly. connor and louise just looked at each other and giggled, bouncing on chase's legs and making him wince.

"i'll take them," henrik said, getting up quickly and clapping his hands. chase smiled gratefully, and the kids happily bounced to their feet to follow their uncle out into the hall and up the stairs to the kid's room, leaving marvin, chase and kazuki alone. a short, awkward silence followed.

"sorry for - that," chase mumbled, not looking up. "i'm stressed and being an asshole. god, i think i'm getting a fudging migraine too, christ."

"it's alright," kazuki said, also not looking up. "this is a lot. i have hecate members attempting to track the source of this whole sky thing, but there… doesn't appear to be one. it's everywhere. although, a few people have told me they are detecting some sort of magic signal somewhere. but apparently that's untraceable too, because of course it is." she sighed, flexing her hands and blowing hair out of her face. "i… i don't know what to do now. and i don't say that often."

marvin bit his lip, clicking his tongue softly. "mm. i - don't know either. i mean… i guessed we just have to wait and see what happens."

and they did. about fifteen minutes of small talk and awkward tea/coffee drinking passed, the three of them politely discussing everything but the weather as, funnily enough, that wasn't a great topic to help distract them from the issue at hand. however, they were all surprised to hear someone knock at the door, breaking the silence. marvin looked to the others for confirmation on what to do. both of them shrugged. marvin rolled his eyes and cracked the door slightly, startling when he saw who it was on the other side.

"anti," he sighed, breathing out slowly. "not sure who i was expecting. this is a bad time, man."

anti just raised his eyebrows. he looked worse off than when marvin had last seen him: hair yanked behind his ears, a bruise on his cheek, yellow scarf even more dirty looking. "i take it you've seen the sky lava?"

marvin gave a small, disbelieving laugh. "i fucking knew it looked like lava! kazuki, chase and henrik are saying it looks like fire -" he caught himself. "anyway. yes, i've seen it. kinda hard not to, wouldn't you say?"

anti shrugged. "i don't know, i'm partially colourblind and didn't notice until the bloody meteors or whatever started falling. speaking of, the things might not hurt, but they are very annoying. can i come inside?"

marvin threw his head back and sighed. "this shit again? seriously? i said it was a bad time." he wasn't sure letting anti in while the kids were here was a good idea, even though they were upstairs with henrik and most likely wouldn't hear or see anything. "can't you… i don't know, go bother… whoever it is that you bother when you're not fucking with us?"

"whatever people i bother when i'm not fucking with you are dead," anti signed flatly. his eyes flickered from an orangey brown to a dark blue, and marvin resisted the urge to step back. for a moment, he looked just like jackie. "i don't have shit else to do, and as much as i despise coming to you for help, i don't have much of a choice these days, do i?"

marvin suddenly frowned. "man, are you ok?"

anti blinked. "why?"

"i - you're shaking," marvin pointed out. "i don't know, you just… kind of look like you're in the middle of a panic attack."

anti scoffed and rolled his eyes despite how pale he had gone. marvin could hear his quick, laboured breaths from where he was standing. "no," he signed, like marvin was being ridiculous. "i'm fine. let me in, bitch."

marvin didn't believe him. but if henrik was upstairs, he figured it should be ok. first, he had a question. "why were you bothering naomi?"

anti frowned. "i... wasn't?"

"yes you were," marvin said. "she said you were just round at her shop."

"was not," anti scoffed. "i was halfway across town. walked all the way here. now let me in, i'm not used to feeling human temperatures and it's bloody baltic out here."

marvin sighed and finally stepped aside to let him in. anti slipped past and immediately froze, eyes wide and pupils dilated, fixed on kazuki still leaning on the sideboards. his hand immediately flashed to his side, bringing out a small switchblade and holding it out in front of him.

"woah - woah, anti, put it down!" marvin cried, jumping between him and kazuki. "she's not here to hurt you, we're just trying to figure out what's wrong with the sky, nothing more, ok? let's just - calm down, ok?"

anti didn't move. despite his uninterrupted trembling, his hand was steady on the knife. kazuki had barely flinched at his reaction, and stayed very still so as not to alarm him. "i'm just here to help marvin, anti," she said gently. "i'm not planning to hurt you, even after your little escape. i swear. i know you've been through a lot, and i'm not going to make it any worse for you. if it helps any, i'll stay right here so i won't scare you."

anti's face contorted with anger, but he couldn't sign while holding the knife, and after a moment he flipped it closed and put it back in his pocket, not blinking. "you don't fucking scare me," he spat once he'd freed up his hand. "you're just another pathetic fucking magician who relies on others to do your work for you. i could kill you even without my magic and the use of one of my hands."

marvin didn't translate any of that. "ok, so now what?" he said instead, glancing out the window behind kazuki's head. "sky's still going and we don't know why. kaz - kazuki, are you sure you don't know anything?"

she sighed, closing her eyes for a second. "sit down," she said, gesturing towards the table and pulling out a seat for herself. "i might be able to try and explain."

marvin sat down across from her and chase, who was on his phone and had been silent this whole time. he turned round to see anti still hovering hesitantly, hands hanging in the air. marvin pat the seat next to him. "you can sit down," he said, trying to keep his voice light. anti slowly shook his head, eyes darting back and forth to the door behind him, and marvin decided it'd be best to leave him be.

kazuki cleared her throat. "so. that necklace your brother has… i recognized it before i even saw it for that split second in new romney. i'm not sure of its actual name, but i am aware of its uses. i believe… it's some kind of soul holder."

everyone went very quiet for a moment, until marvin spoke again. "ok. please elaborate."

kazuki took a breath, tapping the table with her fingernails. "well. many years ago, there were all sorts of black magic artifacts that were used to enhance, give or take power. those who later split from hecate wanted to use that magic. we - the rest of us told them it was a bad idea. eventually, when the split happened, we took as many artifacts as we could and destroyed them." she let out a small sigh, closing her eyes. "it seems that some were… left. i'm not sure how many they still have, but jackie has gotten a hold of one and given his lack of previous black magic use, it seems that it's becoming too much for him to handle."

"you said soul holder," chase suddenly said, the first words he'd spoken since anti had arrived. he rubbed his temple, wincing. "are there… different types of these artifacts? and how do you know this one does, uh, whatever you think it does?"

she nodded grimly. "there's a few types, yes. some destroy. some kill. and some… do what your brother's one does. i believe that it takes souls into the necklace and, well, holds them there." she leaned her head back, sighing. "i can't think of a better way to explain it except that it's… hundreds of years old. who knows what types of magic has been contained in it? what people? we have no idea how powerful he could be."

anti suddenly clapped his hands, drawing their attention to him. "so hold on," he signed, still using the one hand. "this bitch has stolen a part of my fucking soul and that's how he's using my magic?"

kazuki looked to marvin, who loosely translated for her. once he'd finished, she sighed and glanced up to anti again. "i'm afraid so," she said. "from what i've seen, that's all it could be. i'm very sorry."

"motherfucker," anti signed, which marvin chose not to translate.

just then, they heard loud yelling from upstairs, and two sets of pounding footsteps racing down the steps above. "papa, papa!" the voices of two children cried, giggling all the while and getting louder as they got closer. "papa, uncle henrik just showed us something super cool, look, look -"

the children ran into the kitchen, laid eyes on anti, and froze.

anti didn't move.

there was a long moment where connor and louise just stared at him, confused looking. marvin held his breath, making eye contact with chase across the table. neither man said a word.

it was connor who eventually spoke. "uncle jackie?"

henrik appeared in the doorway behind them and also froze. "christ, him again?"

"oh!" louise suddenly shouted. "it's the london man!"

"oh yeah!" connor cried, grinning. "the man who wasn't papa who took us to london!"

"took you to london?" kazuki said, frowning. "what do you mean?"

"we're seriously just going to let him in yet again?" henrik said angrily, glaring at marvin. "seriously? after all the times we agreed not to trust him?"

"listen, i didn't want to," marvin argued. "but in case you hadn't noticed, circumstances are slightly different now -"

"can everyone just shut up?" chase suddenly cried, clutching his head and leaping to his feet. "i have a bloody migraine and god, you're all so fu- so loud, christ, i'm…" he shook his head and marched over to the door, grabbing a brown jacket off the coat rack. "i'm going for a walk or something, fire clouds and sky lava be damned. i don't… i'm done with this." he turned to face the room, which had gone very quiet. his eyes landed on henrik. "henny, will you come with?"

henrik hesitated, glancing at the kids. "it's - i don't know if it's safe, and -"

"i'll look after the kids," marvin said quickly. he smiled at chase reassuringly, who smiled back. "be safe out there, if you really have to go out. and be back within, like, ten minutes, preferably. please."

"we will," chase said gratefully. he opened the door and stepped outside. "thanks, marvy."

marvin flinched at the name. only jackie calls me that, he thought, but chase and henrik were gone before he could say a word.

-

"so where are we going?" henrik asked, practically jogging to keep up with his brother. chase was walking very quickly, which worried henrik slightly, especially given that he'd said he had a migraine. however, he brushed off his concerns with a small laugh. "slow down, chaser. i'm not in the mood to - ha, to chase you."

he could tell something was wrong when chase didn't laugh at his pun. "sorry," chase mumbled instead. "i'm just… feeling weird. i don't know… it's too much."

henrik slowed, heart suddenly racing. "uh, chase? i think we should go back. if you're feeling this unwell -"

"no," chase interrupted, and it sounded almost like a sob. his eyes were oddly dark. "no, i can't. don't - leave me."

he sped up the pace, leaving henrik to race after him. "chase - wait!" he cried. what was happening, why was he acting so strangely? he got the feeling this wasn't a normal migraine at all. "chase, slow. where are you going? chase!"

they rounded a corner, and chase suddenly stopped dead. his expression had gone totally blank, eyes wide and unfocused. his mouth was hanging open very slightly, hands dropped by his side.

henrik waved a hand in front of his face, breathing quickening. "chase? bruder? hello, are you -"

"henrik," came a voice from behind him. henrik's blood suddenly ran cold. "you're just in time for the show."

-

this was beginning to get very awkward.

marvin had attempted to usher the kids back upstairs, but that would leave kazuki and anti alone in the kitchen, which not only was a horrendous combination of people to leave alone, but was very rude to do. so they were now sitting in the living room watching octonauts on the tv, with marvin dithering in the doorway between the kitchen and the hall, trying to keep everything and everyone together. thankfully, connor and louise had stopped questioning anti's presence as soon at the familiar theme tune had started playing, leaving marvin to mostly focus on the other two. anti was pacing the kitchen ignoring kazuki, who was trying to talk to him. it was starting to become slightly annoying.

"is your arm still hurt?" kazuki was saying, as anti pretended he was suddenly deaf. "i can try to help if you'd show me it. we have healers in hecate - in fact, isn't your brother a healer? the doctor?"

"not my brother," anti suddenly signed. he flipped his hood up over his head, turning his face away from them. "fuck off, gods. always in other people's business."

there was a sudden noise from outside. a bang, like an explosion. kazuki stood and followed marvin to the window, looking outside to try and figure out what it was.

"i don't see anything," marvin muttered. the sky looked the same, and nothing seemed to be out of place. "what the fuck?"

"uncle marvin?" connor called from the other room. "what's going on?"

another bang sounded, and this time they could see a plume of black smoke rising over the buildings not far off from where they were. "ah, crap," marvin hissed, hands flying to his hair. "chase and henrik - we have to go after them, they could be in trouble."

kazuki shook her head. "the little ones," she reminded them. "we can't leave them alone."

connor and louise had padded into the hallway to see what was happening, eyes wide. marvin hesitated. he needed to make sure henrik and chase were safe, but he could need kazuki's help, and anti obviously couldn't stay with them. "oh - i don't know!" he despaired. "i - i have to see they're ok."

"papa and uncle henrik?" louise said softly. she was clutching her sonic teddy in her hands, her bottom lip quivering. "we wanna go make sure they're ok too! did the sky dragons get them?"

marvin glanced back into the kitchen at anti, who had stopped pacing and was staring out the window in there, and then back to kazuki, who looked slightly worried. he hesitated. "kazuki - can you stay here with them?"

"me?" she sounded shocked. "i - i am the leader of hecate's international network of magic, and right now there is magic related events happening that i need to -"

"please, kaz?" marvin turned to her with wide eyes, pleading. "just for a little bit? please, i'd owe you so so much, i just can't leave them alone, kazuki…"

kazuki inhaled sharply, then blew the air out her cheeks, groaning. "fine! you better not be long. i don't think i'm all that good with kids."

marvin threw his arms around her briefly, grinning. "thank you so much, kaz, i owe you!" then he turned to the confused looking kids, smiling at them. "kazuki is going to look after you two for a little bit, ok?"

"can we see the magic?" connor gasped. he grabbed louise's hand, squealing. "louise, we get to see the magic!"

kazuki laughed nervously, making a face in marvin's direction. "yes, i can show you some magic. let's go in here, uh - the living room, yes? what's this playing on the tv?"

marvin took the opportunity to leave, pausing at the door to look at anti. "well? are you coming?" he asked. anti jumped, and marvin raised an eyebrow. "come on, i'm not leaving you here alone."

anti shrugged, but followed him out the door, marvin locking it shut behind him. the smoke plumes were rising even higher, and the resounding booms were still sounding from not far off. "fucking hell," marvin muttered. anti glitched in agreement. "let's hurry up and -"

"marvin! marvin!"

he recognized the sound of chase's voice immediately. "chase!" he raced down the pavement, struggling not to slip as he followed his brother's voice. "chase, chase - shit!"

because fuck, jackie was standing in the middle of the street with aaron by his side, henrik and chase standing in front of them and staring blankly, eyes black and unfocused. it was such a scene that all marvin could do was stare. taking it in. his brothers, hypnotized, standing in the street, just… here. he couldn't breathe.

anti made a loud choking noise at the sight of jackie, taking an unwittingly step away. jackie smirked at him. "aw, anti, good to see you again. are you seriously afraid of me now? i thought you were above fear, isn't that what you told me once?" he laughed, and turned to marvin. his black eyes flashed coldly. "hello, marvy."

"jackie," marvin blurted. his chest tightened, taking in his older brother's form. his hair was shorter, almost as short as henrik's, and he was wearing a black jacket over a dark grey hoodie. so unlike his normal colourful clothing. it made marvin's head spin. "jackie, what have you done to chase and henrik? let - let them go, please."

jackie inhaled, dragging out his breath and tilting his head back. the silence was fucking deafening. all marvin could hear was the blood rushing in his ears and the silent, agitated hum of static rising from anti's direction.

"i can't do that," jackie said softly. "i have to protect them. from him, and apparently... from you."

marvin's heart stopped. "what do you mean?"

jackie laughed harshly. "look at you. you're with him, aren't you?" he nodded towards anti, a look of disgust crossing his face. "this pathetic, glitching mistake of a being who's brought nothing but harm on our family, and you want to befriend him. clearly, henrik and chase aren't safe around you if you're willing to put them in such constant danger."

"you're - you're more of a danger to them than anti is right now," marvin stammered, trying to keep his voice steady. "jackie, this isn't you. you're not like this. please, listen -"

"i don't think it's up to you to decide who he is, magician," aaron interrupted. he was leaning on a bright blue bat, grinning cheekily. like this was a game. marvin didn't spare him a breath, keeping his eyes trained on jackie.

"this is… the black magic talking," marvin faltered. his hands felt very warm. he hadn't used any magic since he'd nearly hurt chase, and he was suddenly scared. "jackie, this is the black magic talking. we - we can get it out of your head! we can! you - we - this can be fixed, ok? just let our brothers go and we can help you."

jackie's expression softened. "marvin," he murmured, and marvin took a shaking breath, hope rising in his chest. "oh, marvin. i'm so sorry. you… you really believe in me, don't you?"

anti growled, the sound of static spiking. jackie grinned at him, and for a moment marvin couldn't see him any differently than the man who had always been so sweet to him, the man he'd called his brother. then it vanished, and jackie was a stranger, sneering at anti's rising rage. "i did miss you, aiden. five months is a lot of time to bond! we were so close, wouldn't you agree?" he laughed, a real, loud laugh. "and put the butter knife away, unless you're planning to make toast."

marvin had been so thrown by the "aiden" comment that he hadn't noticed anti taking out his switchblade again. it took a second for marvin to register what anti was about to do, and by then it was too late. "anti, no!"

the knife was flying towards aaron's face before marvin could blink. but the man was ready; his bat was raised to his face to block the blade in an instant, a swoop of magic covering his body. jackie stepped forwards and threw his arm up, creating a black shield to cover for anti's sudden attack.

"stop it!" marvin screamed as anti kicked out at jackie's shield, knocking him off balance. aaron immediately lunged for anti while his back was turned, and marvin made the split second decision to throw out a burning hand and shove aaron back, standing between the two of them.

aaron flashed a white grin. "you don't have to be involved in this fight. really, just let us take the glitch and you and your brothers are free. why is that such a hard decision?"

marvin gave a breathy laugh. "oh, i wish i knew," he said, and let the magic in his body loose.

he had been so afraid of this. of his magic exploding the way naomi's had. but now, he suddenly hated everything about this man, this smirking blonde idiot who'd helped take jackie away from them. he hated him and his magic reflected that. great swirls of concentrated power that wrapped around aaron and squeezed him, making him gasp. but it didn't last. aaron lashed out, and a solid black whip hit marvin in the face, burning into his skin. he screamed in agony, dropping his own magic to fight against the pain. aaron laughed and knocked marvin's legs out from under him, kicking him down to the ground.

he could see anti fighting - trying to fight - against jackie above him. jackie had seemingly overpowered him easily, lifting him into the air without even touching him. "pathetic!" he giggled, darkness trailing down his skin from his eyes and hands. "aiden, aiden, you used to be so powerful. what happened to you? oh, wait." he tossed back his head and roared with laughter. "i did, didn't i? it's funny, cause i'm powerful enough without your weak ass magic in my body. i don't even need it. but i truly do enjoy the irony of being able to do - this!"

a glitch ran through jackie's body and through his wall of magic, reaching anti and throwing him to the ground like a ragdoll. he slammed to the road beside marvin, crying out as his back cracked. aaron turned to jackie and straightened, his boot digging harder into marvin's chest.

"well, that was easy," jackie joked, grabbing aaron's hand. the two of them laughed for a second, and marvin managed to slowly turn his head and make eye contact with anti. turquoise eyes meeting brown. it reminded marvin of the day he'd freed anti from the music shop basement, of the exact moment jackie had discovered that marvin knew. the shared moment, the single shared thought.

we're fucked.

but they'd gotten out of that situation. and how had they done that? oh, oh, shit. he remembered. he remembered.

"now what?" aaron said, as he and jackie leaned over them. anti weakly tried to get up, and aaron whacked his chest with his bat to make him fall back. jackie grinned at him, the two sharing a knowing smile.

"well, now i take the glitch and…" his expression wavered as he looked at marvin. "well, he can go, i guess. all we need is this guy!" he kicked anti's side again. "hear that, marv? you're home free."

he clicked his fingers, and marvin heard chase and henrik both gasp, collapsing to the floor. he'd almost forgotten they were still standing there, black eyed and hypnotized. hopefully they now wouldn't be conscious enough to see what he was about to do. "come on, anti, up you get!" jackie said cheerfully. he reached down and grabbed anti's right arm, delighting in his pained cry. "oops, almost forgot you were still injured! almost. right, let's go -"

"you forget a lot," marvin spat. jackie's head snapped round to look at him, and marvin scowled. "you get on at me for not noticing shit, but hey - i can at least remember what types of magic my brothers specialize in."

jackie didn't manage to get another word out before marvin unleashed a wave of the magic he said he'd never use again. his own black magic. not as strong as jackie's, but he knew how to control it better, and it was just enough to shock him and aaron away, leaving marvin a gap to leap to his feet and fight back again.

a second chance, he thought. don't waste it, marvin.

aaron made an instant dash for anti while jackie went for marvin, but he was too quick for them this time. a fiery shield rose up in front of him, and marvin managed to reach out a hand to yank anti up before one of them got to him again. "you ok?" he asked quickly, and anti managed a nod despite the clear pain he was in. marvin nodded back. "good. stay back."

more magic. so much of it, marvin wasn't sure whose was whose anymore. aaron was the one he was concerned about; he clearly had far more control and practice with his magic, and was forcing marvin back with hit after hit of his crumbling black whips that arched from his bat like a wicked extension of himself. marvin couldn't seem to take him out. he panted, cursing under his breath, beads of sweat dripping down his face from the exertion of the fight. he couldn't take them both at once. he wasn't sure he'd even be able to just take jackie if he had to. he couldn't do this, he couldn't, he just couldn't -

and then aaron fell back with a gasp, all his magic dropping at once. and anti, pale and shaking but grinning smugly, yanked the knife he'd picked up out from his back.

"butter knife," he signed painstakingly with his bruised right hand. "how's that for butter knife?"

"shit -" jackie gasped, but marvin hadn't let the distraction pass him by, and cried out a spell that froze jackie to the spot, wrapping him in a tight rope of magic. the spells were so exhausting that he almost passed out then and there - he hadn't used dark magic in so long, and it had really drained him. luckily, anti scrambled to his side and grabbed his arm, keeping him upright. his hands were stained with blood. marvin watched as aaron fell to his knees, clutching at his chest in pain.

"bastard," jackie spat, writhing to free himself of marvin's bonds. his eyes had melted back to their original blue, and they were wild, focused on aaron now groaning on the ground. "bastard, bastard, let me go, don't you dare hurt him! you have no idea what you've done! no i̢d̸ea ͝at all!"

jackie let out a frustrated scream, tearing at the ropes with both restrained hands. anti and marvin glanced at each other, stepping back silently as blackness seeped out from jackie's chest and began to form into a solid shape in front of him. marvin held up a protective arm in front of anti as something began to create itself, the magic knitting into the shape of what looked to be a person. over the roar of magic, they could hear jackie laughing. "this one's for you, anti!" he cackled. "have you missed him?"

and oh, oh, oh shit. it was a person. a real person who had formed from jackie's magic, a man with curly black hair and blank brown eyes, staring ahead at nothing. marvin heard anti's breath hitch at the sight of him, and a single look at him showed he'd somehow gone even paler, mouth hanging open slightly in disbelief.

"that's right!" jackie cried, looking pleased despite his current situation. "i've seen your memories, anti, i've seen -"

and then marvin saw -

"you're… you smell like magic," came a voice. it was him, the curly haired man, speaking with a warm scottish accent. "harsh, like fire, or an overheating computer." he snorted, trying to keep eye contact with - with anti, because anti was there, different looking. no scars on his face, no scar on his neck, hair much shorter and a dark green colour. "do you do magic?"

and then both of them were sitting in what looked like a park, eating sausage rolls out of paper bags, two guitars abandoned on their laps as they talked faintly, eyes sparkling. "you're a dumbass!" anti laughed, and marvin had never seen him smile so genuinely before.

and then they were sitting very close to each other on the floor in a dark room, a song playing in the background as their faces touched, eyes closed and lips brushing -

"stop!" marvin yelled, struggling to shake himself from the memories. anti had all but collapsed, clinging to marvin's arms and shaking badly, terror and anger both making rounds on his face. "stop, how - jackie, stop, why are you doing this?"

marvin's magic had faltered, leaving jackie to step out of the bonds and fall to aaron's side. he lifted him in his arms, looking worried, feeling the blood on the man's back. "because he ruined our lives!" jackie screamed, and his eyes had turned black again, tears gathering in them as he clung to aaron's unconscious body. "how, how can you stand to be near him? he deserves to be hurt!"

the curly haired man hadn't moved since jackie had formed him, but now he was crumbling, dissolving into black dusty magic and retreating into jackie's body. like he had been there for nothing but show. through it all, marvin could still see chase and henrik, passed out on the road. at least they were safe. at least there was that.

"please," marvin croaked in a weak last ditch attempt to stop this. "jackie, you're my brother, i love you, i don't want to hurt you."

"you see good in anyone," jackie whispered. the sky above was almost screaming now, the colours beginning to whirl above jackie's had. despite the noise, marvin could still clearly hear his brother's voice. "even him. even me."

marvin was about to say something - something, anything, he wasn't sure what - when he stopped, listening, smelling the sharp scent that was suddenly filling the air. like a storm, like rain. judging by the look on jackie's face, he could smell it too. he stood unsteadily, lifting aaron in his arms. "what the fu-"

the black magic still lingering in the air parted. silver sparks clearing the air, even clearing the sky above, warming everything and bringing about that smell, the smell marvin realized was familiar. he gasped, almost laughing as jackie whirled round, looking to see who it was who dared to challenge him.

a man. messy dark hair and freckled skin, a mustache underneath his nose. a dark blue hoodie hanging off of him. eyes that glowed silver, hands that glowed silver, magic that stayed suspended in the air, silver. the world seemed to stop.

jameson jackson.

"you again," jackie spat. he couldn't even raise a hand to defend himself with both arms wrapped around aaron, who had stirred slightly and was moaning in pain. "my god, don't you get a hint?"

jamie raised a hand in front of him, not saying a word. the threat hung in the air along with the silver particles of solid magic that carried the weight of time in them. he looked so tired. he looked so powerful. marvin almost wouldn't have recognized him.

jackie growled softly, looking back and forth between marvin, anti and jamie. he seemed to realize how outnumbered he was, and shrank back, hoisting aaron higher in his arms. "watch your backs," he hissed angrily, eyes blazing. then he was gone, really gone.

anti pushed himself off of marvin, swaying on his feet. he couldn't take his eyes off jamie, who had lowered his arm and let his eyes return to their usual grey. he was staring back. for a long moment, the two just stood there, unmoving. afraid to break the year long silence.

"jamie," marvin suddenly said. and it was hitting him now that this was really him, his little brother, the artistic time traveler who he hadn't seen in so long, who had just disappeared without a trace. "jamie, oh my god, jamie!"

he raced past anti and threw his arms around jamie, muffled sobs escaping his lips as he buried his face in the smaller man's shoulder. jamie hugged him back tightly, and then pulled away with a huge grin. "marvin," he signed. "it's you."

he looked over marvin's shoulder and frowned, pulling the magician over to chase and henrik, who were now starting to regain consciousness, eyelids flickering. "jackie did this?" jamie signed, concern flickering across his face. "help me, we have to take them home. they should be ok, but just to make sure."

marvin had so many questions he suddenly wanted to ask. but he instead lifted chase into his arms, helping him stand while jamie did the same with henrik. questions could wait. jamie was home. nothing else mattered.

and when marvin turned to say something to anti, he had disappeared.

end act three - mind games.

[letsbenditlikebennett]

Mister, I’ll Make a Wolf Out of You || Ariana & Simon Chatzy

Ariana sniffs Simon out at the farmer’s market and the two become quick pals. @inconvenientsimonstrocity 

Why Ariana was going back to Nightshade Farmer’s Market, she couldn’t quite say. After the whole watermelon debacle last time, she was curious about what sort of other supernatural things they had going on in there. Maybe this time she’d just avoid buying anything unless she actually came across the black garlic she’d been looking for the last time. As she walked around, her nose was confronted with a variety of different smells from seafood to herbs and spices. There was one scent in particular that caught her attention and instinctively her feet followed it. It definitely wasn’t Ulfric or Lucas, she’d recognize them long before she ever neared them. This was someone new and she could feel herself perking up. There was a small grin on her face as the scent of the other wolf became stronger. As she rounded the corner, she saw him standing there at the cursed produced stand with the stupid watermelons. Ariana gave the woman running the stand a dirty look before she approached the man. He appeared to be around Ulfric’s age and had very sharp features. She knew he had to be able to smell her, too. “Hey,” she said, greeting him with a warm smile, “I’m Ariana. I think we may have some important things in common if you’d like to chat for a bit.”

Speaking of the variety of scents, Simon was curious about why he hadn’t thought of this before actually arriving at the market the… girl on the internet suggested to him for finding venison. It was strange how quickly the smells in the air could go from the alluring aroma of garlic to the oppressive odour of fish and the combination as they were were almost enough to make him consider just giving up and going home BUT… he endured. Because he really wanted some deer meat. Hopefully jerky. What he was currently in front of… was not jerky. Rather, he WAS contemplating to see if these watermelons were the aforementioned cursed objects spoken of by others or not, rubbing his nose absently. Suffice it to say, he was caught off guard when he was suddenly approached by a short, younger girl and he jumped back slightly, turning to regard her. “Oh, er… hi,” He replied, noting her smile before her scent, quickly becoming unmistakable to him, backhanded him in the face and he coughed in further surprise, torn between his body’s instinct to take a few generous steps away from her and his minds curiosity to lean in further and try to memorize it. “Ariana,” He replied quietly. He cleared his throat and straightened up. “I’m-- yeah, we might so…” He glanced over at the woman at the stand briefly before looking back at the girl-- the wolf Ariana. “Llllead the way,” He offered awkwardly as if this were the first time he was talking to another person.

Ariana could tell that the man before her seemed to be a little bit thrown off by her approach. She wondered if he was new to this. Could this have been the werewolf that Luke had been referring to. She supposed she would find out soon enough once they found somewhere a little more private. She nodded and led the way to the spot her and Winston had sat down to eat the last time they were here. “Yeah, there’s some tables and stuff that are pretty quiet over this way.” As they passed through the stands, she kept a careful eye and ear out for anyone around them. Could she be putting this wolf in danger by being around him? She wasn’t sure how much truth there was to there being a bounty on her head. Still, this was important. Their kind was meant to stick together. When she found the little area in back with the tables, she was relieved to see no one else was there. “We can grab a seat over here.” She sat down and studied him. “Do you know why I wanted to speak with you and what we have in common?”

Simon couldn’t help but feel a little awkward as he followed Ariana astutely through the market; a tall, scruffy-looking hobo man tailing after a girl who he guessed was likely still in high school probably would’ve turned heads in a more formal environment. Even if he lost her visually, he almost took comfort in the fact that he had picked up her scent well enough that he could probably track her on a better day. And with antihistamines. He’d probably need to tell someone about that one of these days. He tilted his head slightly when they approached the empty area, also internally thankful that there weren’t any bodies to listen in on them and he sat across from the girl. He set his hands on the table in front of him and chose to be invested in her outfit rather than look her in the eye. “You’re… Lucas mentioned you.” He replied softly. “You’re a werewolf. I’m assuming that’s the topic of this discussion.” He said before adding “Unless it’s not that at all and you want to mention my jacket, which I understand. It’s kind of-- it’s no looker,” He chuckled.

Ariana was relieved to have found the man that Lucas told her about. No one should have to figure this out alone. She had been lucky to have not known life any other way. As he spoke, she was sure to keep a close ear out for anyone that may have been approaching. She wasn’t sure how if he had a full grasp on his wolf senses yet. She made herself comfortable at the table and placed her elbows on the table. With a raised brow, she said, “Yes, Lucas mentioned you as well, but didn’t give me a name. He said you were pretty new to this whole thing. I’m sure that’s a pretty big change. How are you adjusting?” Prior she hadn’t actually noticed his jacket, so she laughed and added, “Damn, you found me out. I really just wanted to know where you got your jacket. Looks hella comfy.”

At least she seemed friendly, which appealed to both sides of Simon and the latter felt himself relaxing slightly from his formal position, especially as he noticed her do the same thing. “Yeah, it’s also ‘hella’ ugly and old.” He replied lightly, wishing they could keep talking about fashion instead of things everyone else seemed to think was important. Well, no, that wasn’t correct - he loved to hear about what other people thought were important topics. The more he thought about it, the more he just felt awkward to talk about himself like he had anything interesting to say. “I, uh… can’t complain,” He said mildly, itching his nose as if his body was subtly trying to call him out on the lie. “The deuteranopia is frustrating but that’s really a nitpick in the grand scheme.” He said, not untruthfully. “Oh, um. I’m Simon.” He introduced, thinking maybe he should’ve started with that. “Sorry.”

It was good to see the other wolf relax a bit. Ariana knew if he was new to all of this, the sensory overload may have been a lot to deal with. She wasn’t sure what having human senses felt like, but she knew the hearing and scent was extremely dull in comparison. She couldn’t help but laugh as she said, “You said it, not me.” She rested her head on her knuckles as he spoke. She listened closely, genuinely curious about what his experience with this whole situation was. Her face scrunched up in confusion when he mentioned deuteranopia. “Wait, what’s deuteranopia? I don’t know that word. I know there’s got to be a lot about this that takes getting used to, but it’s good to meet you, Simon.” She needed to get insight to determine if he was safe. He definitely shouldn’t be going through the full moon alone. “So, how long have you been a werewolf? What are your plans for the next full moon?”

“Oh, sorry. It’s uh, red-green colourblindness,” Simon explained. That was the terminology most people were familiar with, after all. BUT at least he couldn’t say he didn’t teach someone a new word. “I didn’t have that until about seven months ago. I can’t tell for sure because I don’t… remember the last handful of full moons,” He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “Lucas made a couple of helpful suggestions about the next time, though. He said I should hang out with you guys and we could go for a run,” He couldn’t help but let a small, timid smile cross his sharp features, if only because no one had offered for him to ‘hang out’ with them before. “He told me what it was like, being a wolf. He also said that that was a big part of their family and that he’d been turning since he was a child. What about you?” He asked, curiosity evident in his tone. “I figure you’ve been a wolf a lot longer, too. What does that make you feel? And you can be as honest as you want, I’m obviously not going to judge,” He chuckled again.

“Oh,” Ariana exclaimed, she nodded and said, “Yeah, I guess I’m used to it since I’ve always been colorblind. Throw in some dyslexia and it makes school a blast.” Her tone towards the end hinted at her sarcasm. It had to be strange to go from seeing the world in full color to seeing only part of the spectrum. The rest of her senses were already so sharp, she didn’t quite mind having dulled vision. She noted that it’s been seven months and the not remembering the full moon was concerning. With the hunters out and about, he definitely needed to be with her and Ulfric to ensure his safety. “That means you’ve been a wolf for seven months now then. Spend it with Ulfric and I. There are people in this town who don’t think we should exist. It’s not safe to be out there on a full moon on your own.” It was a relief that danger hadn’t found him yet. Though maybe she wasn’t the best person to be around to avoid danger. She had to remember they were safer in numbers. “Yes, we’d love to have you run with us. It’ll be fun. I’ve been turning since I was a child as well. My parents were both wolves.” She skipped out on mentioning how they were killed. This whole thing had to be overwhelming enough without taking hunters into account. When he asked how she liked being a wolf, she offered a soft smile. “I’ve always been a wolf so I don’t really know anything else. I enjoy it though. I remember the full moons at this point and have fairly good control when it comes down to it. I find the full moon to be liberating. There’s something about running through the wood that just feels… right. I also like the advantage when it comes to strength, smell, and hearing. Comes in handy being well… short. How has the experience been for you? What you can remember of it at least.”

There was a brief glance of sympathy on Simon’s face when she mentioned dyslexia - that combination couldn’t have been that easy. She seemed bright and optimistic though; not the type to let anything keep her down. That was just the impression he got as he listened to her talk about her experiences, about what being a born wolf felt to her - that made at least three wolves now that were born with it. He took a mental note of the name ‘Ulfric’ and the usage of her past-tense mentioning parents - estranged? Passed on? She hadn’t mentioned it so he chalked it up to a negative memory at best. He also noted the similarities of experience between Ariana and Lucas - it felt right. A literal second nature, something Simon and other normal humans only thought they understood. The smile he hadn’t realised was on his face by listening to Ariana faltered when she asked about him, however and his gaze dropped back to his hands. “N-not as… exciting, I don’t think,” His brow furrowed as he struggled to remember even the following mornings of the first moons; he only vaguely recalled the most recent one and he really wished he didn’t. “I don’t remember the nights but… the next day, there’s usually blood and I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or pushed off a rocky cliff.” He explained, trying to sound plain about it but his fingers intertwined with each other nervously.

It dawned on Ariana that the soreness was probably from the transition itself. The body took a long time to get used to it. She wasn’t actually sure on the timeline of that herself. Ulfric grew up with other wolves, he probably had a better idea than she did. She hoped that wasn’t something that lasted too long. When Simon spoke about it, there seemed to be a certain amount of tension. She wished she had more answers, but she knew eventually it would get easier for him. That didn’t make it suck any less that he clearly wasn’t having an easy time with things right now. “I think the soreness is supposed to get better the more you transform. The same thing with your memory. Your hunting drive will be really strong in wolf form. I usually catch deer or some sort of other game.” She shifted away from leaning on her hands to convey what she had to say next was serious. She kept a close ear out for anyone who could be approaching as she spoke. “We have to be careful though. There are people out there who kill our kind. Especially on the full moon, we’ve gotta stick together.”

Though the aspect of it hurting less physically brought Simon a small level of comfort, he still felt himself withdrawing from her. Lucas had said similar things about feeling a drive to hunt, to be on top, about how freeing it felt and about how being together was imperative because of the Hunters, he believed Lucas referred to them as. It all sounded fantastic, for lack of better terminology. Ariana, Lucas and his family, they had an important aspect of this: Control. They had exposure to this side of themselves their entire lives. Simon, frankly, was a nobody and he was perfectly fine by that but he wanted to be a nobody who just happened to be friends with a bunch of werewolves. He didn’t feel free, he felt like his body had been pulled on a torture device. He didn’t feel control, he felt the exact opposite from the lack of memory, waking up covered in blood. He was turning 43 in November; his life was half over and he was just now being pulled into a circle of brotherhood he didn’t even know was a thing until a few days ago. Maybe Hunters existed because of people like him; he was fully ready to acknowledge and defend that Ariana and Lucas were sentient. He wasn’t - when people pictured werewolves, he was that picture. Mindless, aimless killing machines. And he didn’t think it was appropriate to discuss these things with Ariana… She was young and spirited, a promising individual for a good future. He didn’t feel like it was his place to be such a downer, not to her or really anyone else. “Yeah, you’re right,” He said quietly, feeling like he wanted to say more but he couldn’t bring himself to.

Ariana tried to think back over what she said that could have come across the wrong way. The fact people were out to kill them could definitely be enough to make someone uncomfortable. Then again, this whole thing was new to him. She wished she could relate to it a little bit better, but she knew between herself and Ulfric they could help him learn to be more in tune with his wolf side. More than anything, she wanted to make sure Simon was going to be safe. “Yes, I’m sorry if that was a lot to take in. We’ll help with both safety and learning to be more in tune with this new side of yourself.” She hoped it was comforting. It was hard for her to understand just what he was going through, but she wanted to try. She offered him a warm smile and tilted her head slightly, “It’ll be nice to have another wolf around. I’ve actually only recently started to meet other wolves.” She hoped maybe it could help her level with him to some degree though she did hate the look of pity people always gave her when she told them about her parents. She let out a soft sigh and explained, “I was really young when my parents died, so until recently, I hadn’t known anyone else like us.”

Simon’s eyebrows twitched faintly when she mentioned having lost her parents, piecing together more information. She was really young so they didn’t teach her; she had to learn by herself? That separated her from Lucas. She wasn’t aware of other wolves - she wasn’t raised here? The thoughts of Ariana having to grow and learn how to control and embrace the wolf on her own pulled Simon out of his temporary fugue and he lifted his head to look Ariana in the eye for the first time, his gaze conveying empathy with a gentle smile. “And yet here we are,” He said softly. He leaned back and sniffed thickly. “So tell me more about you, Ariana. What do you like, what do you wanna be when you grow up, that sorta thing.” He said as he knuckled his septum, turning his head slightly to keep an eye out on the exposed entryway they arrived from; he wasn’t sure why but he supposed he also wanted to be aware just in case someone who shouldn’t be overhearing their conversation wanted to listen in.

Ariana was pleased with how well this meeting seemed to be going. It even just felt good to be moving on to more normal conversation in the midst of everything that was going on. She leaned forward and rested on her elbows again, feeling eager to find out more about Simon, too. Wolf stuff aside, they were still people with hobbies and lives that weren’t centered entirely around being a werewolf. She started, “Well, I love soccer, cooking, and running a lot. I just started an apprenticeship at Trusty Wood so I’ll be going into carpentry. My sister still has some hope I may actually take some college classes, but I don’t know if I really want to do that.” She never thought she’d actually enjoy talking about school. She’d be happy to go back to a failing Algebra grade being her biggest problem, but that wasn’t how life worked. She solved the Algebra problem at least. Maybe they could solve this, too. She shook that thought. “What about you,” she said, “What do you like to do? And well, I guess you are grown up, so what do you do?”

Soccer, now that seemed like a good way to burn energy. Simon’s constitution never gifted him with an ability to play sports(until now, at least) but he found soccer the most entertaining to watch - it had the least amount of standing around and discussing superfluous things - he would’ve rather read a book during those times. He made a mental note to attend her games in the future. He also made a note that she mentioned having a sister. Didn’t bring her up when talking about wolves so he guessed she wasn’t one. That raised the question: Could one child be given wolf shifting as a trait but not another? Unless they weren’t related but either way, it meant Ariana didn’t spend her time entirely alone as either the wolf or the human. Oh, duh, she probably had an adoptive family-- but wait, did that work with orphaned wolf pups? He would probably learn some more of these answers in the future, so for now, just focus on THE now. “Me?” He asked. “Oh, uh... “ At least it wasn’t talking about being a wolf. “Well, I used to be a forensic technician but I’m a janitor at the Morgue, at the moment,” He decided to be honest with her. “I enjoy reading, learning new things… I need to get back into playing the piano. I’m out of practise,” He admitted, subconsciously clenching then unclenching his left hand as he said that.

Ariana had to wonder if the switch in jobs had anything to do with his transition, but for once decided against spewing out too many questions in one go. She had no doubt that they’d have time to get to know each other. Shifting focus to the piano thing would definitely be wiser. That had more of a physical aspect to it and she didn’t enjoy reading. Audiobooks were okay, but even so she usually preferred the sound of nature or a good song. She wondered if he hadn’t practiced because of the transition, too. She wasn’t sure how wolf hearing compared to human hearing other than it was intrinsically better. Once he got used to it, music at reasonable volumes was enjoyable. She really hated the piccolo though. Whenever she’d hear the marching band practice, the high pitches always sounded cringe worthy. “Piano, huh? Do you still have one you can practice on? I always enjoyed listening to music with piano in it. I’ve never played an instrument unless you count those god awful recorders they make you learn to play in elementary school.” She laughed a bit before she added, “Not sure if it’s our hearing that makes them sound so grating or if they really are just that bad. Is there a particular genre you enjoy playing most?”

Simon also laughed when she mentioned the recorders from elementary school. “You were right the second time; I couldn’t stand them as a child, either.” And he didn’t want to imagine how they’d sound nowadays given how much more sensitive his hearing tended to be. “And call me old-fashioned but I prefer classical - name any pseudo-famous pianist and I probably know a song or two by them.” As he talked, his right hand mimicked the motions of playing a simple tune on the table in front of him for a few moments before stopping as he sighed. “Unfortunately, I still don't… I didn’t bring a whole lot of things with me when I moved here,” He admitted, a dash of melancholy in his tone. “I’d like to acquire one soon though, just to give myself something to do in my spare time.” The feeling washed over him and he looked at Ariana once more. “I’ve never played a sport, myself - aside from what they made us do in P.E.,” He added. “What made you decide to choose… soccer--” He barely got the question out when he turned his head away from her suddenly and dipped it into the crook of his arm, sneezing twice. “Gah! Sorry--” He apologised hastily, keeping a hand over his face while the other fished around in his pockets and he felt something sink in his stomach when he found his packet of tissues but not the familiar bottle of pills. Of… COURSE he forgot them because why wouldn’t he have? It was just too convenient and a brief look of frustration crossed his features. “I’m sorry, that was terribly rude of me,” He apologised again as he applied a tissue to his face. “Um… sports. Yeah, that’s what we were talking about. Soccer.” He plowed right on through. Sports!

Ariana shook her head, shocked that they sounded that bad with human hearing and they were still forced to learn them. “Wow, they made us put on concerts with those things knowing how bad they sounded? Big yikes.” She nodded along and realized half the crap she listened to would probably not be up his alley. Post Malone was a far cry from classical piano music, but he was America’s Sweetheart. She did remember a few piano songs from her music history class though and responded, “The only piano song I remember by name is Moonlight Sonata… which may be for obvious reasons.” She laughed a bit at her own lame joke. Really anything that reminded her of the moon always stood out in her mind. “You should totally get one,” she said eagerly even though she had no idea how much pianos cost, “I’d love to hear you play sometime.” Her face lit up at the mention of soccer again, but quickly scrunched up in confusion at the loud sneeze. He seemed very thrown off by sneezing and apologized. She shook her head and said, “Don’t worry, we all sneeze. Unfortunately, being a wolf doesn’t give us a break from that… Well, clearly as you can see.” He seemed set on bringing it back to soccer and she was happy to talk about her favorite hobby. There was something about being on a team and getting to run around for long periods of time that really just suited her well. “I tend to prefer team sports and soccer is my favorite of them. Always running around and getting to be outside? Definitely a good way to burn off some energy. I’ve played basketball in the past, too, but I don’t enjoy it quite as much. Sports aren’t everyone’s thing though. Music is pretty badass, too. What inspired you to learn piano?”

‘Yeah, being a wolf is part of the problem, I think.’ The thought flitted through Simon’s mind briefly but he expressed genuine interest in Ariana’s enthusiasm for soccer though he made another mental note about her remembrance of Beethoven, giving her a small smile as she made the joke. Be that as it may, it was still a good song. “Tell you what,” He said first. “I’ll play Moonlight Sonata for you sometime if you teach me some of the ins and outs of soccer.” He absently took to scratching at his arms now as if the sneeze reminded his body that though his mind was having a good time, it wasn’t. It was fine, it was supposed to be a new moon. Maybe he was excited, bouncing back from that little pity party he threw. Was it a pity party? He couldn’t never tell. “I was… ffffive, I think, when I started playing and really, I only chose it because my mom told me I couldn’t be a velociraptor when I grew up,” He laughed, recalling the memory. “My parents both work in the medical field but I’ve always loved music.” That was when he wondered how different his playing would sound now given the changes in his… lifestyle. He also wondered how much a piano would cost. He would certainly look into it, now.

Ariana had decided that she thoroughly liked Simon. There was something about him that was sweet and endearing despite the fact he was a good deal older than her. He didn’t talk to her like she was still a kid who didn’t know anything about the world. They could level with each other and she looked forward to helping him learn the ins and outs of being a wolf. She extended her hand out to shake on it and said, “Deal. You play Moonlight Sonata and I teach you soccer. Sounds like a blast.” She grinned widely and was very glad that she found Simon. She noticed he seemed to be a bit uncomfortable as he was scratching his arms. She didn’t want to press too much so she focused back on his story about playing the piano. Five years old was super young. There was no way someone could have gotten her to sit down long enough to learn piano at five years old. “Wow,” she said, “That’s pretty cool you’ve been playing so long. Not quite as cool as growing up to be a velociraptor, but still pretty cool. I’ve always enjoyed listening to music, particularly on runs. What’s your favorite song to play?”

“Yeah, well… I guess there isn’t a lot of demand for professional velociraptors so piano it was,” Simon chuckled as his hand went up to rub at his jaw either out of irritation or contemplation - this question always made him think because he seemed to have a different answer every time. “I think to choose just one would be tantamount to only picking one book or one best friend.” Indeed, books and music WERE his only friends when he was a child. She did not need to hear this depressing-but-factual claim. “I’ll just be broad and say I’ve always preferred Chopin. Again, stereotypical but everyone has something. What kind of music do you like, whether on runs or just in general?” He asked, finding that it was rapidly becoming easier to talk to her; she seemed ambitious, forward, and eager. She had a ‘bull by the horns’ mentality about her, a trait he couldn’t help but appreciate regardless of the source. He recalled just earlier when he felt awkward following her and realised looking back, people might’ve thought that he would’ve been trouble when in actuality, he would’ve been the one IN trouble.

“What a shame,” Ariana said with a laugh, “It would’ve been really cool to meet a professional velociraptor.” Maybe she spoke too soon. Next thing she knew White Crest would reveal some dinosaur like monster that would make her eat her words. Oh, well, she couldn’t let it ruin her A+ jokes. She listened as he mentioned Chopin. “Huh, I’ve definitely heard of Chopin but don’t know if I can actually remember a song from them. Oh well, probably nothing you’d like. Unless you’re secretly a huge Post Malone and Khalid fan in which case, you’d really be full of surprises.” She giggled a bit at the thought of him jamming to Posty. Simon definitely seemed to be opening up a little easier now. He seemed a bit hesitant at first, but now conversation came easily. She had no doubt they’d be an awesome pack.

Simon opened his mouth as if to say something, paused, then closed it again. “Iiiii have never heard of either of those, so we’re even.” He admitted, making a note to look them up later. Was the man’s first name Post? That was interesting, certainly more interesting than his rising frustration with his immune system as he muttered a low ‘excuse me’ and turned his head again to sneeze twice more. At least he had a tissue this time. “Sorry,” He cleared his throat, finally relinquishing what he had been suppressing in the name of good conversation. “But is there any way we could walk and talk to the nearest corner store or pharmacy?” He swallowed what little pride he had. “My allergies aren’t happy with me.” He gave her a sheepish half smile, eyebrow twinging with embarrassment and no shortage of guilt, feeling like he was prioritizing things wrong and cutting their talk short. It was his fault, after all, that he forgot any form of medication.

Ariana laughed along at Simon not knowing who Posty and Khalid were. “I didn’t think you would, they’re pretty popular with my generation. Not sure they’re really up your alley.” They were a far cry from classical piano music. Both artists were fun though and she particularly loved Post. As Simon sneezed again, Ariana gave him a sympathetic look and said, “Bless you.” At the mention of walking to the corner store with him, she nodded enthusiastically. “Oh yeah, for sure! Want you to be comfortable. Seems like the allergies are treating you pretty rough today.” As an afterthought, she asked, “What are you allergic to?”

The weight that always sank to the pit of his stomach whenever Simon felt inconvenient lightened when she seemed willing to accompany him. Then again, part of him figured that she wouldn’t turn her nose up to a bit of walking - she did play soccer. He sniffled and got to his feet, pushing in his chair and he paused for a lengthy moment when she asked her most recent question. He could’ve said anything; indeed, they were at a public market full of conflicting scents and overwhelming aromas. It COULD’VE been anything but… it wasn’t and no matter how embarrassing or detrimental to his character information was, Simon didn’t like lying. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Dogs,” He said first, then exhaled and pointed to her slowly, then turned his finger to point to himself as he gave her a look that said ‘yyyyep’.

Accompanying him to the corner store was really no big deal in Ariana’s book. She was just excited to know another wolf and that her and Ulf would be able to help him adjust to this new life. When he answered the question on what he was allergic to, she looked at him incredulously. Dogs which translated to wolves. Which meant he was allergic to her and himself. Big fucking yikes. “Wow, I’m surprised the bite didn’t like… counteract that. I’m sorry, that’s gotta be not fun. Let’s go get you some allergy meds so you feel better.” Once again, she was directing the way so Simon could have everything he needed to feel comfortable and not sneezy. She didn’t want to be contributing to the wolfy sneezes.

“Yeah, you’d think being mauled then subsequently, er…” Well, Simon didn’t want to call it ‘cursed’ in front of someone who had been born with it though he felt like it would be a long time before he accepted being a werewolf as anything other than a ‘parasitic relationship’ or ‘curse’. “Biologically altered--” Nice save. “Would’ve negated that. I guess we can’t all be so lucky,” He chuckled with another sniff, tending to his face with the tissue again. He still felt guilty and immediately thought about how he could’ve translated that answer better or less awkwardly but he settled for a quiet “Sorry.” He was always sorry. What he was more than sorry right now though, embarrassing admittance of his body’s rejection against his own kind now aside, was thankful that Ariana both stayed and still offered to lead him given how unfamiliar he was with everything in town. Wolves really did stick together but he wondered just how big of a liability he still was - wasn’t the ‘pack’ only as strong as its weakest member? That’s how human groups worked, or… what managers would tell their beleaguered employees to scare them into being more productive. He had to stop being negative. “Er… Sorry if this isn’t the right time but I’m glad you sniffed me out, Ariana,” He glanced down at her with a gentle smile.

Ariana did her best to hold back a grimace at his mention of being mauled. That has to be traumatizing and it made her more determined to help him feel comfortable as a wolf. “We’ll just have to keep a hefty supply of allergy pills and tissues then,” she said with a sheepish grin. More than anything, she wanted to be good support for the transition he was going through. There was pep in her step as she directed them to the corner store. She was happy she found another werewolf and someone that she was actually able to help. Her’s and Lucas’ situations both felt hopeless. It was nice to have things with an easy solution like simply watching out for him and teaching him about being a wolf. “I’m glad, too. I think you and Ulf will be fast friends. Good to have you as part of the pack.” She gave his arm a playful punch as they made their way up the block. Their pack was really coming along and it left Ariana with a warm feeling. Maybe things could work out after all.

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Fangs//When He Sees Me

based off this song (also go listen to waitress if you haven’t already)

“Y/n!!!!!” Fangs announced his presence as he walked into your house. “How is my favourite person in the entire world doing today?” He asked and sat beside you. Quickly you shut the laptop that was open in front of you before leaning on it slightly, and turning your attention to your friend. 

“Hi Fangs.” 

“What are you doing?” He eyed you suspiciously. 

“Nothing.” You shook your head. 

“Doesn’t look like nothing. What were you doing on the laptop?” 

“None of your business.” You replied.

“You sure?” He asked and looked over your shoulder. 

“Definitely.” 

“Then why did you close it as soon as you saw me? Were you watching something?” He wiggled his eyebrows. 

“No!” You defended. 

“Then show me what it was...if you have nothing to hide.” He tried to grab the laptop from the table but you blocked him. 

“Its nothing.” You continued and shoved him backwards.

“Come onnnnnnn. I’m your best friend. I’m not gonna judge you.” 

“Fangs.” You started. 

“Y/n, I think that pan is on fire.” He pointed to the kitchen and you turned around. “Ha!” He shouted and you turned back round. He was stood a few feet away from you with your laptop in his hands.  

“Fangs!” You moved towards him and tried to grab it but he moved it away from. 

“Nope. Not until you tell me what you were looking at.” 

“Fine.” You crossed your arms. “I was looking at online dating.” You grumbled and he looked at you shocked. 

“You? Online dating?” 

“Yes me.” You said angrily and snatched your laptop back. “All of my friends are dating so I thought I’d give it a go, turns out it’s not really my thing.” You sighed and sat back down on the sofa. 

“Have you had any dates yet?” He asked and sat beside you. 

“I haven’t finished my profile yet. Its all a bit confusing.” 

“Let me help?” He offered and took the laptop from your hands. “Its good!” He smiled brightly at you as he looked around. “You look hot in that picture.” 

“Thanks.” You shrugged. 

“You look hot in all your pictures.” 

“Don’t be stupid.” 

“I’m not. Now, explain to me how it works.”

“I put in all the information about myself and then its supposed to find me a soulmate from that. But what if I don’t like who they set me up with. What if we’re too alike. Like, we get on because we are completely different. What if whoever I go on a date with is too similar. I annoy myself sometimes, can you imagine two of me?” You shivered. 

“Nothing worse.” Fangs teased and you rolled your eyes. 

“I’m being serious Fangs.” You sighed. “I usually stick with real things. Thats just how I was brought up. Ya know, facts and figures. When informations in its place, I minimize the guessing game.” You started and Fangs raised an eyebrow. “Guess what?” 

“What?” 

“I don’t like guessing games.” 

“Right.” 

“Or when I feel things, before I know the feeling.”

“Like when you’ve eaten something that doesn’t agree with you.” 

“Fangs!” 

“What?!” He asked annoyed. 

“Don’t be gross.” You scolded and he laughed loudly, you couldn’t deny the smile that appeared on your face or the butterflies that erupted in your tummy. “It’s like I’m being tossed around by fate.”

“It wouldn’t be that bad.”

“On an unexpected date with a stranger, who could talk to fast. Or ask me questions about myself before I’ve decided he can ask questions about myself. Or he might sit too close, or call the waiter by their first names...or eat Oreos, but the cookie before the cream-” You rambled. 

“That’s really not that bad.” He shook his head. 

“But what scares me the most...what if he when he sees me, he doesn’t like it? What if he runs the other way Fangs? I can’t hide from that. What happens then?” 

“Y/n...” 

“What if when he knows me, he’s only disappointed? You panicked and his expression softened.

“Nobody could be disappointed when they look at you.”

“You have to say that.” You replied. 

“No I don’t. When have I ever said anything I don’t want to.”

“What if I give myself away-” 

“Wow, how far are you gonna go on this first date.” He interrupted, but you were too busy panicking. 

“To only get it given back.” 

“I don’t think that’s physically possible.” 

“I couldn’t live with that.” You shook your head. “So, I’m just fine, inside my shell-shaped mind. It means I get the best view, so that when he see’s me, I want him to.”

“Y/n. I love your shell-shaped mind. I really do, it’s one of my favourite things about you. But don’t you think you’re being, I dunno, maybe a litt-” 

“I’m not defensive! I’m simply being cautious.” 

“Oh, that’s what we’re calling it now.” He mumbled and you glared at him before standing up. 

“I can’t risk reckless dating. I don’t even know why I signed up for this. It was a stupid idea, nobody is gonna want a date with me.” 

“Anybody would be lucky to take you on a date.” 

“But what about my profile? What if I do it wrong and then they could know every single thing about me, and on the internet you can’t be too careful when it comes to sharing your life.” You paced. 

“Oh boy.” 

“I could end up a miserable wife.” You grabbed Fang’s shoulders, a worried expression took over your face and you looked at him.

“How serious do you think it’s gonna be?” He asked. 

“What are you looking for when dating?” You said confused. 

“I dunno, but it’s certainly not marriage.” 

“Well maybe you should start.” You replied and continued to pace again. 

“Sure.” 

“He could be a criminal.” You flailed your arms around. 

“I’m a criminal.” 

“Yeah, but you're different.” You said with a soft smile.

“Not really-” 

“Or some sort of psychopath that escaped from an institution somewhere where they don’t have girls.” 

“Riverdale is famous for those of course.” 

“He could have masterminded some way to find m-He could be colourblind!!” 

“Sweet Pea’s colourblind.” 

“Exactly, how untrustworthy is that?” You replied. 

“Now you’re being ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with colourblind people.” 

“I know. My cousin’s colourblind.” You said upset. 

“So, what are you talking about?” 

“I dunno anymore.” You sat down beside him. “He could be less than kind.” 

“I’m sure he’ll be great. When you stop panicking, finish your profile and actually meet him.” 

“Or even worse.” You turned to face him and paused. “He could be very nice, have lovely eyes.” Fangs looked at you and your breath hitched. “And make me laugh, come out of hiding.” You mumbled and leaned in to him. “Oh God!” You stood up and he fell forward. 

“Y/n...” 

“What if when he sees me, I like him and he knows it?” 

“Would that really be so bad?” He asked.

“What if he opens up a door and I can’t close it?” 

“Do you usually struggle with closing doors?” 

“Not an actual door, a metaphorical door. Like what if I tell him about that time I wet myself when meeting Santa when I was 6 and then I couldn’t look at Santa for years afterwards.”

“I can’t imagine that’s really gonna come up in conversation.” 

“Well, it could.” 

“Sit down.” He patted the space beside him and you sat down, before he wrapped his arm around you. 

“If when he holds me, my heart is set in motion. I’m not prepared for that. There’s only one person that does that.” You mumbled the last part and looked at Fangs. Fangs was already looking at you, a soft smile on his lips. “I’m scared of opening up to someone. You’re literally the only person that knows everything about me.”

“And you know everything about me.”

“Yeah...I don’t know if I can be that open with somebody else. What if they don’t like a part of me? I can’t change a part of me for some boy, no matter how cute they are.” 

“If they don’t like you for all of you then are they really worth your time?” 

“I suppose. I still can’t help hope that I’ll find someone to talk to. Who actually likes the way I am.”

“Hmm.” 

“Someone who when he sees me...” You leaned in towards Fangs. Your whole body was screaming not to, don’t mess up a good thing, but the way he was looking at you made you ignore this, especially when he started to move towards you. “Wants to again.” You whispered, his lips brushed yours before he grabbed your face and kissed you sweetly. “...wow.” You breathed. 

“Y/n?” He asked. 

“Yeah?” You replied, a bright blush had appeared on your cheeks, and it was getting worse the more he looked at you. 

“He’s already seen you, he did a long time ago, and he’s loved you ever since.”

[daily-felt]

A new Mod approaches!

Good day, or evening, to you all. I’m Mod Scratch (not affiliated with the former Scratch). I’ve been drawing Homestuck for about six months, and run several roleplay blogs within the community.

Either way, it is with a great honour that I join this blog. I’ve been following it for several months (almost since its’ start!) and absolutely adore all the Felt members. My art style tends to lean towards realistic, and do forgive me because I am colourblind, leading me to see in black and white. While I will do colour, I do ask that you be kind and if you have one that you would like me to specifically use, please send me the hexcode for it!

Thank you again for following this blog, and any questions that are directed at me will be done as soon as possible.

-D.Scratch

[poursomesugaronu2]

A Cup of Diamond Eyes (Chapter 1)

((Dan and Phil are real people, and by no right, claim that this is how they act or react to any given situation. As for the adoption process, my google searches were unhelpful.))

Six months later

"Luciano, wake up and come downstairs!" The voice of Mrs Pach could be heard from the outside of his door, accompanied by a few taps.

It would be another set of parents today, right? Another pair that would skip him over. They always want a child. A young child. He was... Twelve now. Was it the 6th? He'd have to ask.

He moved from his bed, pulling on his clothing and brushing his hair carefully. Did his outfit match? He wouldn't have a clue. He grabbed his white cane before making his way downstairs and towards the dining room for breakfast. The chorus of 'Happy Birthday' confirmed to him what day it was. He smiled a little and took his usual seat near the end of the table.

"Luci, we have a special breakfast for you," Mrs Pach said, setting a bowl in front of him and guiding his hand to the spoon. He frowned a little at the way she was helping. She wasn't sure how to deal with a blind child, but he could feel his way to the bowl just fine. He gave her a little nudge of disapproval, wanting her to leave him alone. He hadn't said grace yet. That annoyed him. She took the hint and Luciano settled to his bowl after muttering grace to himself. It was fruit loops instead of their usual rice bubbles, he knew that. It wasn't the best orphanage when it came to budget but he knew that there would be a cake later in the day. He hoped they remembered the simple danger of chocolate to him.

"Luci-Luci!" A little girl called out, running over to him. He smiled. His friend Ally did his hair every morning, as he didn't really know how. She pulled the usual brush from her pocket and began to brush his long locks.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your hair?" She cooed as her fingers pulled his hair into braided pigtails.

"Every day." Luciano's hair was indeed impressive. He had refused haircuts, and that had caused his hair to grow and grow and grow. He had a lot of split ends, yes, but it did reach down past his waist. His albinism had caused its shade of pure white, something the girls were in awe over. He didn't get it, being unable to see it, but he just let them do what they liked with it.

The albinism caused his skin tone too, nearly as white as his hair. He could see it if he pulled his hand very close to his eyes. He could see blocks of grey. It was like somebody had turned a camera to the blurriest setting. With the colourblindness, the grey came with the blindness. At least he knew a million and a half different shades of grey.

It was a Saturday, so there was simply the set meals. It was the common day for couples to come in and see children. There had only been two Saturday's over Luciano's six months when couples hadn't come in. He went to the recreation room for his age group. The five to ten-year-olds had one room, then the ten to thirteen-year-olds, then the teenagers. The orphanage didn't accept those under five, as there were simply not enough staff.

Luciano was in the corner of the room, playing his saxophone with a mute in. While his old one had been ruined in his accident, he had acquired a cheap one from the nurse who had taken care of him. It had been a leaving gift. He found it harder to play blind, but it kept him happy. He was never sure what he was playing. Not completely. With the mute in, he just heard a soft sound that gave him some indication. It was the only thing that he generally enjoyed doing anymore.

After an hour or so, his mouth was sore, so he sat down, letting the instrument rest in his lap. He could hear the children go quiet, which indicated to him that there was a set of parents. They stood up immediately and Luciano joined them, as they were meant to do when parents arrived. He used his stick to find his spot amongst the children, looking down, as he knew that nobody would want to adopt a blind child. Skipped over every time. It was always the special kids. He stood next to Ally, holding her hand tight. She had autism. He knew that he couldn't just gently hold her hand, as she might have sensory overload. If he could, he wanted to avoid upsetting her.

She held his hand just as tight. His saxophone was still hanging from his neck.

He could hear the speaking, but couldn't make out the words properly. He was shocked when his name was called and he was told to come over. He used his cane, making his way over carefully and standing in front of the pair, along with Mrs Pach.

"Luciano, will you come with us? These lovely people are considering adopting you."

Luciano swallowed, nodding. He took Mrs Pach's hand, allowing her to lead him to the office along with his possible future parents. He sat down on the couch, staring at the ground.

"Luciano, this is Daniel Howell and Phillip Lester. Dan, Phil, this is Luciano, though I believe he prefers Luci." Mrs Pach introduced them. Huh, he wasn't aware that English speakers used Daniel as a female name too, he thought that wasn't a thing here. Intriguing.

Luciano simply nodded at this.

"How old are you, Luci?" One of them asked, his slightly Northern accent masked by the typical London one. Luciano knew his accents, he could pick out the twang of the Machester area.

"Twelve," Luciano said softly, swallowing. His own Italian accent was clear.

"It's his birthday today actually!" Mrs Pach said, "This could be like a birthday present."

"Is it really? Well, how about we give you a birthday present," A different voice said. They were both surprisingly masculine voices if he was honest. There was nothing wrong with that. Some women were manly... His own mother had quite a deep voice. He shivered at the thought of her. The second voice had been more feminine, so he assumed that it was the one to be his new mother. Daniel.

After realising that he had spent far too long analyzing their voices, he swallowed and nodded, raising his head to look at the figures once again. "Sure..." He said quietly.

"Hold out your hands," Daniel-until-proven-otherwise said. After Luciano did so, he felt a soft fur touch his hands.

His eyes widened and he carefully felt the item. "A stuffie?" He asked. He had touched Ally's before.

"A lion stuffy, the best kind!" Phil-until-proven-otherwise said, his excitement clear.

"Th-Thank you," He hadn't be allowed to have toys with his own family, this was his first one... He held it close to his chest.

"Aw, no need to thank us. It was Dan's idea to buy something on the way here, and it had to be a cute little lion. It matches you too... Since you're cute... Like a potato! Potatoes are cute!" Now-confirmed-Phil said.

"Phil, stop," Dan said, sounding certainly disappointed, but they both laughed, and Luciano joined them.

He could feel the blush coming over his cheeks at the mention of him being cute.

"These two wanted a child who needed a little more help, and they picked you!" Mrs Pach said, he could almost feel her sickly smile. He had never liked her that much.

Luciano glared at her for a moment, "That's okay..." He finally said, relaxing and pulling the lion tighter to his chest. "When do we leave?" He asked. Would they be like his parents were? Or would they be like all the others kids' parents? The parents he had dreamed of having... A mama and papa who loved him... That wasn't what they said in England though, was it? He shook his head. He wouldn't want to call someone the title that reminded him of his family... Mummy and Daddy it was... All the other children spoke of having mummies and daddies. That had to be what they called them here.

"Oh, sorry... I... Was thinking," Luciano said softly, once he realised that he hadn't heard the answer to his question. "I'm really sorry..."

"Hey, don't worry about! I was just saying that we can fill out the paperwork now, and if you pack your stuff up, we can go after that..." Phil spoke, trailing off as if it was an unasked question.

"Yes, you can. Your background checks and assessments were successful. Do you want me to help you find your things, Luci?" Mrs Pach asked.

Luciano glared at her, "I'm blind, not useless." He said, a little harsher than he intended. "I mean... I'll be alright." He said, standing and moving towards the door, able to see the blurry shape. He used the cane to make his way to the bedroom, where he recognised the shape of a person on the bed. "Ally?" He guessed, cocking his head.

"Yeah, it's me," She said quietly.

Luciano sat next to her, and she clung to his arm tightly. "You're leaving me, aren't you?" She asked, her voice a little shaky. He felt her face press into his shoulder.

"Yeah... Yeah, I'm being adopted..." He murmured.

"I'll miss you, Luci-Luci..." She muttered into his shoulder, and he could hear her sniffles.

"Don't cry, Ally... Don't cry over me... I'm just starting a new chapter of life, and you will be starting your own soon..."

He felt her arms wrap around him tightly, hearing her sobbing into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Maybe in a different life, he would have been arranged to marry her... That'd be nice.

"Will I ever see you again?" Her voice could be heard against his chest, muffled by his shirt.

"I can... I can ask my new parents if they can bring me here... I'll see you... I won't go if I'm never seeing you again. You're my best friend."

Ally nodded, "Let me help you pack your things at least."

Luciano nodded slowly, moving to grab the small backpack he owned. He didn't have much. A few sets of clothes, his stick, and his crutches. He didn't always use them, but he had to when his leg began to hurt. There was silence between them then, comfortable silence. Luciano soon had his backpack on his back, his crutches leaning against the bed along with his stick. He was hugging Ally close to him, and they stayed together quietly.

"Luciano, it's time to go!" Mrs Pach called out, knocking on the door before coming in. Luciano swallowed, standing up. He hugged Ally once more before making his way out with Mrs Pach, not ever being one to really say goodbye.

He didn't even realise that there were tears in his eyes until he heard Phil ask if he was okay.

"He was just saying goodbye to a friend, nothing too major," Mrs Pach said simply.

Luciano just nodded and moved towards where Phil's voice had come from, head down. He ended up bumping into one of their legs. "Sorry..." He muttered.

He felt a hand run through his hair, and he couldn't help but smile. "Don't worry about it. Come on, we have gummy bears in the car!" It seemed to him that Phil was more talkative, so he just nodded. He felt his hand being taken, leaving his other hand to hold his stick, which he used for the orphanage steps.

He let one of them take his bag, to (he assumed) put it in the car. The other opened the car, and the voice confirmed it to be Dan. "Come on, Luci... You can hop right on in."

Luciano smiled at that, "Thanks... Mummy."

The was a moment of pause, followed by an awkward cough as Luciano felt around, getting in the car. Would Dan hurt him like his own mother had? He wouldn't, would he? Would he be beaten for calling him mummy? He swallowed hard, taking in deep breaths.

"Here you are, Luci," Phil spoke, from where the driver's seat was. So he knew that Dan was in front of him, and Phil was diagonal. He reached forward finding the bag that he was offering. "Gummy bears. Make sure you eat them two at a time so that they can die with a friend."

Luciano laughed, but he could hear a smack, "Phil! That's a terrible first impression for our child!"

He swallowed. That sounded painful. "D-Don't hit daddy..." Luciano muttered under his breath, carefully eating two gummy bears.

He could hear muttering between them, but couldn't make out the words. He knew they'd heard him. Bad idea. Was he going to be yelled at? Hurt? What would happen to him?

"I'm not hurt, Luci, don't worry... Dan didn't hurt me, I promise. It was just a little smack at my joke. Dan would never hurt me or you." Had Mrs Pach told them about his background? She must have. He knew that Phil wouldn't have brought it up otherwise.

Luciano finally just nodded, curling up and slowly eating the gummy bears, two at a time.

Maybe things would be okay.

[rncloughlin]

Colours from an Achromatic’s Eyes

title: colours from an achromatic's eyes

warnings: very slight mention of depression, like two swear words

word count: 4k

summary: Dan is colourblind. He has been his entire life, but that changes when he meets his internet friend for the first time and suddenly he can only see the colour of his eyes.

read it on ao3 or

a/n: thank you to my best friend julie for introducing me to the cool word "achromatic" ilysm and my other best friend aussie for just being a super cool and supportive dude

some notes about this fic: i wrote it a year ago and only now just decided to go back and finish it, so it's going to seem a little older than it did back then.  

in this fic, phil is a youtuber, but dan's not, and tabinof is just phil's book (which is super weird to think about). also, my main idea for this fic was that in this world, you don't see color until you hear music, which is why i made dan deaf. however, i literally had NO idea how to fit that into the fic, so he's just deaf as a backstory. whoops ! it's nice to have a lowkey deaf story without it mainly abt him being deaf, though, so i just kept it in there.

-

When you've never seen colour before, I suppose you'd have no idea if your world was in colour or not. Without having someone to look through your eyes and go, "no, that's not right," you just have to figure it all out on your own.

Dan had learned the names of the colours just like anyone else. Purple was darker than orange, and orange was darker than yellow. Light green was only slightly more dark than yellow. Simple. That's just how colours were for him. Occasionally, he would get his blues and reds mixed up, so they just ruled him out as colourblind. So that's just it. He was just plain colourblind.

Being colourblind wasn't that unnatural! Dan's eighth year gym teacher was too (or that's what his translator told him. It could've just been a way to make him feel better, for some odd reason). No, it wasn't unnatural at all. It was just the fact that he was colourblind and deaf that bugged him. It was like, at first he didn't get to enjoy sound, but now it was colour too. It was something that kept the thought, "then what is there to live for?" in Dan's mind at four in the morning as he sat up all night, browsing through the depths of the internet. That thought remained in his mind for years.

But, the thing is, he was "colourblind" for all of his life until the day he met Phil, a boy he had met on Tumblr and had been talking to for months, face-to-face (not on the grainy Skype conversations they rarely had because it was hard to read sign when the video keeps lagging), and he was introduced to new colours. Ones that, at first, he couldn't describe due to his lack of knowledge in the section but later identified them to be greens and blues and golds.

Dan looked into his eyes and there they were. And when he left on a different train, he could still see those three colours - but only those three. He saw the blue of the skirt of the little girl on the train a few seats away and the gold ring her mother wore, and when he looked out the window he was greeted by a very light blue sky and so much green, and he was amazed the world was this beautiful without him knowing.

-

He remembered the first time Phil grabbed his hand. It was the second time he visited, and Dan remembers himself being stressed out about something at home, so Phil was trying his best to distract him.

"Maybe we could... Watch some television?" Phil had signed (slowly, since he was still learning). Dan shook his head. It was hard to focus on subtitles and the show at the same time, much less try and read their lips. It was something he avoided often, although he did have exceptions for some shows.

Phil got a thoughtful look on his face, then suddenly lit up. "We could play..." He signed, gesturing towards the game of Mario Kart (it was easy to figure out that it was Mario Kart, seeing as it was his only game besides Crash Bandicoot). Dan's face had lit up, and he nodded excitedly. Phil stood up quickly then reached his hand out to grab Dan's to help him up as well.

The moment their hands touched resulted in a burst of colour from all around Dan; the colours that before this moment he just plain couldn't see. The purple of a shirt that hung over the back of a chair, the red on Mario's hat on the cover of the game, the yellow of a Kill Bill poster on Phil's wall. All the greys had become actual colours instead of shades. Dan was so damn surprised that he nearly toppled back over onto the ground, but Phil's hand kept him from doing so. 

Then Phil had pulled away and all the colour drained so quick that Dan had thought he had hallucinated it, and he just brushed it off. He thought that it was a hallucination up until Phil grabbed his hand again while walking around the city, and it all came back as quickly as it had gone the first time. While trying to memorize what all these colours looked like, he had decided right there and then that he never wanted to let go of that hand.

On the train back home, this time he wasn't watching the green and the blue mix outside his window. This time, Dan was trying to recall the warm feeling that Phil's hand cast, and he was giving names to all those colours he had seen before and wondering if maybe, maybe, he would ever get to experience that moment again.

-

Dan loved the days where they didn't have to go anywhere. He liked getting up in the afternoon and roaming around their flat in his pyjamas and the bitter cold coffee that Phil had prepared for him hours before, because Phil just knew. 

He liked sitting on his favorite spot on the couch with his laptop, Phil reading a book in the same room, and just spending hours in neck-cramping positions. They didn't even really need to talk through hand movements or Dan reading Phil's lips because they both were just content with being in the same room.

Phil liked the silence, and it was the only thing that Dan could hear, so it was all good.

It were days like these that Dan got to think. He would think about how much he craved to hold Phil's hand. He told himself for years that it was just because he craved to experience something he had experienced back in 2009 and that all he wanted was to see colour, just one more time.  Except that wasn't it, because it was also days like these where Dan would look at Phil from where he was sitting and would just feel this pang of something he couldn't identify in his chest. 

"Are you alright?" Phil asked him one time when Dan was staring at him for just a bit too long, setting his book down besides him so he could use both hands.

Dan just nodded, suddenly finding his laptop interesting again.

He laid in bed that night, thinking that yes, he was alright, but maybe, maybe, he was lying to himself. He noticed how much he wanted Phil to be laying next to him and how much he had wanted that from the first day they met and Dan was introduced to new colours and along with that new feelings, too. 

So, for once he labeled those feelings with "love" instead of "platonic friend stuff" but put those feelings in a box and pushed it to the back of his mind, because Dan and Phil's friendship didn't need to be ruined, even though deep down he knew it wasn't really just a friendship in the first place.

-

Something Dan and Phil had in common was they both didn't like going out, since neither of them had many friends anyway (it was more like Phil had a few friends, but Dan just had Phil), so instead of doing that they decided to just have a party of their own. That is, if you can call two boys in their twenties, one who just released a book, both of them just extremely tipsy a "party".

So, there they are, just sitting in silence (and close proximity). Dan's three drinks in, Phil two, and Dan's just thinking about how maybe this was a dumb idea when Phil turns towards him.

Dan's vision is slightly swimming, so it takes him a few moments to make out that Phil just signed "can I ask you something?" at him. Dan nods, setting down his drink on the nearest table and turning to look at Phil so he can see him better.

Phil thinks for a moment, most likely trying to think of how to sign the question, and then gives up. "Have you accomplished your life dream?" He mouths at Dan slowly, so he can figure out the words.

That question throws Dan off, and he's forced to sit for a few minutes and think: what is my life dream? He thought about how when he was six he wanted to be a firefighter, when he was twelve he wanted to be an actor despite his mother telling him it was impossible, and when he was sixteen all he wanted to be was happy.

Was he happy? Yes, but he was missing something, and because of that Dan shook his head. He had not accomplished his dream.

Phil leaned into him. "What are you missing, then?" He mouthed, and Dan was going to reply. He was going to but Phil was so close, and he could feel his breath on him, and Dan knew if he lifted his fingers to say "you", then it would ruin the moment, and Phil would pull away. He didn't want Phil to pull away, because Phil's eyes were looking straight into his, and all he could think was love, love, love, and his eyes were the only colour he could see, and even if they were grey like everything else, he would still find them the prettiest eyes in the world just because they belonged to Phil. Everything about Phil was just so pretty, and it overwhelmed Dan, because there was nothing he could do about it.

Dan slowly leaned forward, but once he realized what he was doing he shot back faster than lightning speed and rose to his feet, nearly falling over from how fast he got up mixing with how tipsy he was.

"I am going to bed," He signed to Phil quickly, not giving him enough time to react before he was out of the room and down the hall, softly closing his door shut behind him.

Dan didn't sleep that night, like many others before. Except, instead of browsing through the internet until the sun peaked over the horizon, there was no laptop next to him, and the only thing that kept him up was the simple question "did Phil accomplish his dreams?" even though the knew the answer was yes, because, hell, he just released a book.

In the next room over, all Phil was thinking about was DanDanDan, not his dumb book.

-

Back in 2009, before they lived together, whenever one visited it was just a silent agreement that they would sleep in the other's bed. However, once they started living together, the only time they did that was when one of them accidentally fell asleep when watching a movie together in one of their beds, but by morning the other had moved to a different bed anyway. That, too, was a silent agreement, in an "I really don't want to make the other person uncomfortable" sort of way (even though neither of them would be uncomfortable).

With this knowledge, Dan had no idea what possessed him to wake up in the middle of the night, shivering and in a cold sweat, and move to Phil's room. He, of course, blamed it on his sick mind for being, well, sick, but in the end that didn't really give him an excuse for why he didn't really regret it.

He gently shook Phil awake and then slid into bed next to him, curling into his chest. Phil's arms immediately wrapped around him (Dan also blamed that on Phil's sleepy state) and Dan fell asleep instantly.

Dan awoke in another cold sweat, Phil not next to him anymore. He noted that it was only eight in the morning and was about to call out for him (Dan barely used his voice) when Phil poked his head through the door. He noticed Dan was awake and pushed the door open with his elbow, holding a soup bowl in both hands.

"Hey," He mouthed slowly, sitting down on the bed carefully next to Dan. "Please, eat all of this." He handed the warm bowl to him and watched him as he ate it, spoonful by spoonful. 

Phil waited until Dan looked up at him to start talking again. "I figured you were sick, since your whole body was quite cold against mine." He smiled sheepishly. "May I feel your forehead?" He mouthed, waiting for Dan to nod before leaning closer and placing his hand against Dan's forehead to compare it to his own.

It was the first time in three years and the third time in general Dan had seen colours again. They were all around him and they were on him. He's never seen the colour of his own skin besides now (he noted it was very pale). Dan completely forgot about the raging pain in his head and his neck, because he was so taken aback by how pretty everything was. 

It was gone as soon as it came.

"... definitely have a fever." Dan caught Phil saying. "Should we take you to a..." (he didn't understand the last word, but he assumed it was "doctor" or "hospital").

"No," Dan signed, his neck hurting too much for him to shake his head. 

Phil smiled. "Alright," He signed back. "Lay back down." He made a move to get up, but Dan grabbed his hand, mumbling (and stumbling with his words because being sick and not talking in years is not exactly a good combination) something along the lines of "you should stay."

When Dan would wake up every once in a while throughout the day, Phil would still be laying next to him, sometimes reading and sometimes sleeping. He never let go of his hand. Phil never pulled it away.

It just feels right, Dan noted to himself when he woke up one of these times. However, he didn't voice his thoughts out loud, instead just getting more comfortable and falling back to sleep.

-

Oddly, Dan didn't even know Phil had always planned for him to come on his book tour until he was asking Dan if he was all packed. And then they were off to cities in America, and Dan's never been out of the UK, and it's so cool, and he's so glad Phil invited him.

They go from warm and sunny California to slightly less sunny Florida to some small town in New York and then they're on a beach in New Jersey, laughing about some odd joke on the internet that Dan can't even remember now when Phil stops him.

"You have lovely eyes," Phil signs, and it's so weird, because Dan had never even seen the colour of his eyes nor has Phil ever said this before. And then Dan is grabbing Phil's hand to walk with him, and he just doesn't question it, because the sunset is something he's never seen before, and it's all so lovely. All he wants to do is kiss him, just for that one comment, but Dan knows he can't. So he listens while Phil points out which colours are which and doesn't tell him that he can see them as well.

-

It's one of those times again when they're partying without throwing an actual party. It's the end of 2015, and Phil wants to celebrate because so much happened for him in 2015, and Dan feels left out at that fact, but he doesn't want to rain on the parade. So it's just the two of them again, sitting on their couch as the clock nears midnight. Except this time, they're not sitting in silence and neither of them are drunk or even tipsy because neither of them have touched their drinks since they sat down.

Phil is going on about how weird it must be for elephants to have to wait a full year before having a baby, half-signing it and half-mouthing, when he stops in the middle of his ramble.

"I am going to refill my drink," He signs, standing up quickly and making his way to the kitchen. Dan finds it odd, because not only had Phil not even taken a single sip of his drink, he had left it on the table next to the couch, so he got up and followed him.

Phil is leaning against the counter when he gets there, staring at the clock mounted on the wall. Just as soon as Dan read the time (23:58) does he realize Phil had specifically came in there just so he didn't have to make things awkward for them. So, he turns around but then its one minute to midnight, and Phil is grabbing his arm, and he's mouthing something cliche like "thank you for making my 2015 great", but Dan isn't paying attention, because he's in that situation once again where he's just staring into Phil's eyes and thinking love, love, love. Phil is counting down, holding the numbers up on his fingers and then he's stepping closer to Dan, and Dan is paying attention to every move, because Phil is wearing a shirt that's the same blue colour as his eyes, and he loves that colour. Then his hand is on his cheek, and they're kissing, and everything is happening so fast, but so slow. The room grows darker, and suddenly Phil isn't wearing that shirt anymore, and Dan almost tells himself that Phil kissed him just to seal the moment, but he knows perfectly well why he kissed him and why he kissed back, and he just can't lie to himself anymore.  

When Dan wakes up under blue and green covers and everything isn't going as fast as it did the night before, the whole world around him is splashed in colour he's only seen momentarily four other times before. Phil is still laying next to him.

-

It's January 23rd, and Dan knew they would eventually have to talk about all their stolen kisses since that night, but he was almost hoping it wouldn't be so soon (of course, it could be three years later and Dan would most likely still think that).

Phil is sitting at their breakfast table when Dan gets up. It's the first question Phil asks when he sees him.

"What are we?" 

Dan has to stop in his steps and think about it. He looks at the brown of the table and the multicoloured chairs that go with it and almost gets distracted by how pretty it all is and how he went without those colours for all of his life, up until the first night they kissed.

What are we? is the question Dan had asked himself about Phil and him since day one when his heart had swelled at the mere thought of getting a message back from his favorite YouTuber. He had asked himself that the nights on Skype when Phil would fall asleep while talking to him and later when Dan slept over in his dorm, and Phil had already fallen asleep an hour before so he was up alone thinking. Sometimes, years back, before Dan had shut away all the un-platonic feelings he had for Phil, he would look into the man's eyes, and his heart would skip a beat, and he found himself thinking, what are we?

He shrugs.

Then Phil signs, "you love me, right?" and it's just the wrong thing to ask, because then Dan's panicking, and the only thought going through his mind is how he just can't ruin their friendship, because even though it's been determined it's not exactly just a friendship anymore, he had convinced himself for years that he couldn't use the word "love" or everything would be ruined. 

Dan crumples to the floor, and Phil quickly rushes to him, wrapping his arms around him to try and calm him down. By then Dan is angry, because how could he try and ruin this friendship so easily? and he's pushing Phil away and standing up quickly, nearly falling over in the process, just like about a year back when they almost, almost, kissed.

"I am going on a walk," Dan signs.

"Will you come back?" Phil is asking him, and in that moment he knows he will just as much as Phil does, even though he replies with a maybe.

Suddenly, Dan's outside, and all the colour is gone but the blue of Phil's eyes. The green on the sign of a nearby coffee shop is now grey, there's no gold in sight, but the colour of the sky is a bright, bright blue. A couple passes him, and they're wearing matching blue scarves, and a mother holding a blue cup, most likely filled with coffee, is being pulled by her excited child. It's almost like it was there to haunt him.

He sets off to the coffee shop and orders anything but his usual, since he and Phil got the exact same thing. When it was ready, he sat down with it, gagging at how bad it was, and then pushed it aside and stared at the grey table. That's when he realizes how dumb this whole situation was; here he was, sitting at a table in a random coffee shop in a colourless world with a drink he didn't even want but got anyway because the other option reminded Dan of Phil, the person he loves, and Dan was in this situation simply because he didn't want to tell Phil that yes, he did love him.

Because for years, he told himself he didn't.

Dan put off all the questioning and the emotions. He ignored the want to hold Phil's hand, to sleep in the same bed as him, to kiss him in those weird moments they had similar to the one on the beach. He did everything in his power to just brush it off, but now everything was hitting Dan at full-force, and it was like waking up from a trance that lasted seven years.

Of course he loves Phil. He has for years, and deep down, he knew that all along.

So, he trudges back home, the coffee discarded on the sad table. 

Phil sat at the table in the exact same place he was before, swirling the coffee in his mug around with a spoon. He knew Dan would come back. Of course Dan would. No angering thoughts, no bad question, no "maybe" would ever keep him away for long. Phil is Dan's home, and Dan knows that he is Phil's.

At the sound of the door closing, Phil turns. He waits, because he knows Dan will explain himself eventually. Seven years taught him that.

"I am sorry," Dan signs, mouthing along. He's tired and feels weak, but it still comes out of him all at once. "Of course I love you. I love you. I held that back for so long that, when you asked me if I did so casually, I freaked out. I love you. I only see in colour when I'm with you."

The last sentence seems to confuse Phil a bit, but Dan just figures he'll assume that Dan means it metaphorically. Ignoring it, Phil stands up from the table, his long legs getting him quickly over to where Dan stood. He stopped a few inches in front of Dan then slowly pointed his finger at his own chest before crisscrossing his arms around his chest and then pointing at Dan. He brought his fingers together. I love you... Same?

Dan laughs at the effort before showing Phil how to actually sign "too". 

He's so happy, he realizes. He's happy.

Later that night, Dan sits up in bed and turns the light on, waking a sleepy Phil laying next to him.

"You know when you asked if I had accomplished my life dream?" Dan mouths.

Phil nods. "You told me you hadn't."

"I have now," Dan signs, beaming down at the bundle of blankets which is Phil.

The other boy beamed back, grabbing the younger one's hand and squeezing it for a second before pulling away to sign back. "Good," Phil signs. "I have now too."

Dan smiles at his correct signing of too and then cuddles back into Phil and falls into a happy sleep.

[kennysgameplayprototyping]

Week 15 Test notes with Updates

This is a very long and detailed post so watch out.

These notes are included in the design documentation but have been added to the blog here as well.

During week 15 while staying with my parents in Edinburgh I tested the prototype a number of times with family members. Testing the prototype with people with vastly different experiences of gaming and input devices allowed for me to get detailed notes on all kinds of issues, ideas and feedback.

Dad

(little recent gaming experience, played PlayStation 1 games in early 2000s has knowledge and general muscle memory for analog sticks)

Much preferred orthographic camera angle, voiced the same concerns I had about others - top down looking less appealing and perspective making it harder to judge distances and angles.

Found suicide bug - When playing the prototype, if cornered he would spin erratically firing off shots and found he often killed his own tank. However, the strategy used in gameplay had not occurred to me and I would likely have not found the bug without this testing. This was found to be a hitbox size and bullet spawn location issue and was then fixed. 

The Player hitbox, if rotated fast enough as a bullet left its spawn point at the end of the gun could hit the new bullet, registering as a ‘player’ hit and killing the player. Moving the bullet spawn point from 1.5 units away from the player centre to 1.8 units fixed the problem and otherwise makes no noticeable difference to gameplay or visuals.

Asked about the possibility of dynamic arena elements - Asked for moving walls, appearing and disappearing walls, holes in the floor. Things I had previously thought to add but had not prioritised. 

Wanted simpler UI - Asked about a simpler UI (this was pre-simplified UI), didn't like the timers wanted something more understandable. This was already planned and in the works but had not been added by this point. I have not consulted him about the new UI yet.

Rusty with controller knowledge though picked up surprisingly quickly - While he has not played games with a controller in likely over a decade, the speed at which he picked up the gameplay and controls was quite impressive. Having a simple set of controls has made it much easier for people testing to pick up quickly and begin experimenting.

Mum 

Plays strategy and puzzle games on an android phone, occasionally plays mouse based simple puzzle games on pc. Enjoys simpler games such as Peggle. Has experience playing simpler games on a Nintendo Wii such as Wii sports but has little to no experience of analog sticks on controllers.

Suggested thinking about how the game would appear to colourblind players - Due to this we screenshotted the game mid gameplay including bullets midair. Putting this screenshot through colourblind filters to test the visuals. Red-green colourblindness looks especially confusing. This would be something to think about taking the project further and an option to allow for colourblindness of different kinds could be useful.

Noticed move distance was just too short to get between cover - Without prompt noticed an intentional element of the design and agreed that it made the game more fun having to use the gun to fully traverse between cover. When it was explained that it was intended to push players into using the gun as a locomotion tool as well as an offensive one, she agreed and understood how it worked.

Little to no experience of analog sticks on controllers - Due to largely playing strategy and puzzle games on mobile, has virtually no analog stick experience and has never been able to get to grips with the idea of controlling two axis of movement with different inputs. While she did play the game, she did not have the same amount of dexterity with the movement and aiming as other testers - though picked up the few controls quite well. Again showing the limited control scheme makes the prototype quite easy to pick up and play.

Wanted instructions within the prototype - Asked about the possibility of adding in instructions at the start, instead of having to either be shown them in practice or from a diagram in a notebook. Has not been added and likely will not before the deadline - though plans have been drawn up for how an instruction splash screen requiring input from both players to proceed could look.

Made a point that the tanks look like ducks in their current implementation, suggested using the name “ClusterDuck” due to the duck like tanks and how the gameplay devolves into a somewhat chaotic mess, which was both surprising and funny. Though I’ll likely stick with the working title for the prototype. Because I’m almost definitely not going to lean into the duck angle.

The controller instruction diagram

Brother (Steven) and boyfriend (Rhys)

Both play games fairly frequently - primarily on Xbox One so had no issue with control system. (Xbox One Controllers) Both picked it up with ease and showed different gameplay strategies.

Catching on the cover issue - Steven’s tendency to stick close to cover meant that he often found the tank getting partially stuck to the cover - having to move or shoot in an angle away from the cover as angles towards or with the shape of the cover would hold him in place with friction. There was also a tendency for the player hitbox to catch on corners of cover - acting as if it was sticking like velcro to the cover. Initially changing the hitbox to a rounded hitbox had no effect - proving it wasn't the edges that were getting caught. The corner issue was largely fixed when physics materials were added to the player hitboxes and cover to reduce friction. The cover sticking issue was fixed by adding some bounciness to the aforementioned physics material. 

Both enjoyed trying out the physics object cover that was thrown around with shots - This arena layout has proved to be fun in the short term but lacks any kind of strategy or ability to use any skill or knowledge of the game systems. It turns into chaos for usually only a few seconds before one player is inevitably hit. 

Enjoyed gameplay mutations - Whether it was ramping up the fire-rate, movement speed, recoil amount or fiddling with timers - some of the different methods of testing turned out to be quite enjoyable. Though both agreed that the main meat of the idea lay in the base gameplay but remarked that the other mutations could be used as selectable options if taken further.

Holding buttons through respawn issue - As the respawn mechanic literally just calls the scene to load again, there is not anything to keep track of variables between reloads. Steven’s method of play also included holding down the movement button rather than tapping it whenever he wanted to move. Since neither I nor any previous player had played like this, it was found that since the game does not keep track of variables in an outside script, he would have to let go and then re-press the move button every time the game restarted. While he found this annoying he did admit it was not game ruining. Though it would be something to fix if taking the prototype further. Talking to Gaz the following week (16th April) we discussed how I could implement an event system to manage button press values, scores etc, but that was too much of a time sink to try before the end of the module with other fixes/ additions to focus on and documentation to finish.

Notes from the discussion on the possibility of a game manager

Liked placement of title in the arena - Both commented on the placement of the title and casings around the arena noting that it gave the arena some life and decoration and kept with the lighthearted feeling. Both also preferred the title ‘Recoil’ to ‘clusterduck’ noting that the word Recoil had more relation to how the game was played. Both also preferred the title’s simplicity. Though they did also admit the tanks still look like ducks.

General Observations

Add sound - The lack of sound had the prototype feeling a little lifeless and limp, further visual and audio work could add more player feedback.

Respawn system - Adding the respawn system was a little troublesome - since this testing phase used my laptop that had an older version of unity on it. (something I only realised when I started the testing after gathering everyone) The Script is a single line within the bullet controller asking whether the bullet hit an object tagged as a “player”. Adding it originally I had to use an older script line from the Unity Manual - “Application.LoadLevel” This worked alright using the laptop during the testing. Though the lighting had to be changed to baked as the editor would switch off the world light on each scene load.

Bringing the prototype back to the right version of unity, ( I changed it over in a new folder on my pc as a back up in case of an error) I had to change the script to a newer loading method from the unity documentation. Using SceneManager instead - though the example within the documentation I found mentioned additive loading. After adding it I realised the additive loading was an issue - duplicating any surviving objects on each load, so I removed it. While the script should really be in an event manager of some kind it works fine in the bullet controller for the purposes of the prototype.

Possibility of laser sights - The difficulty aiming at a distance shown by some players did raise the thought of laser sights to alleviate the problem. Though this presents the problem that players could try and hold angles or quickly dash in and out of cover firing off accurate shots - which would likely ruin both the pacing of the game and the enjoyment.

Shown below is a GIF of a laser sight test - while the ‘lasers’ are simply extended cube meshes and clip through walls, the effect does exactly what was thought. The addition of the laser allowing fine aim slows the gameplay right down and encourages a peek and hide mentality. The addition of laser would likely ruin the feeling of the game if given as a permanent attachment. Though a timed pickup could introduce an interesting cat and mouse situation.

Instructions - Had to think about how to present instructions at the start of a match - I have made a simple UI prototype in Adobe XD that will be linked here and in the documentation as well as posted in image format in the blog showing how a run through of the game would appear with instructions and an end screen. 

Simple controls - The simplicity of the controls kept the games quick and simple but allowed for the players to try out new methods with each restart.

Multiplayer - This testing phase was the first series of tests with enough people to play the game without me - freeing me up to take notes and observe fully. People seem to genuinely enjoy the gameplay once they get into the swing of it - usually after a couple of rounds. Which is exactly what I was aiming for with the intention of this project - trying out a simple set of mechanics and seeing if I could make a small, enjoyable prototype. So it was quite nice to see the desired effect.

Notes from the testing.