#sorry if the quality if iffy I tried so hard..

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Race Of Champions - Day 1 (Sebastian Vettel & Mick Schumacher)

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Bering and Wells Reunion Panel Transcription (4/17/2021)

This is from the ClexaCon Virtual panel with Joanne Kelly and Jaime Murray, with Dana Piccoli as moderator and Mark as ASL interpreter. I spent around six hours on this and there were really only a couple of brief bits I couldn’t make out - I tried to make this as thorough as possible even though the audio quality was iffy at points and there was a lot of overlapping talking. I also included all of the ums and uhs in the interest of thoroughness so sorry if that gets annoying. Let me know if I’ve gotten any screen names wrong.

Content notes: brief discussion of on-set injury, allusions to homophobia from higher-ups, discussions of hostile workplace experiences due to gender, brief discussion of the ovarian cancer subplot, Jo misgenders Mark once and then corrects herself.

Dana: And I think we are live! Hey everyone, welcome, welcome, this is day 2 of ClexaCon Virtual. So glad to be here with you for our Warehouse 13 Bering and Wells panel. What a great video! I believe that was Mal that made that. Fantastic work! [They showed a fanvid prior to the panel on the stream.] Uh, I want to take a second to introduce Mark, our ASL interpreter. Thank you so much for being here, Mark. Well, I know that the Bering and Wells fandom is still going strong and, um, I’m so excited to be able to present this panel to you today, so without further ado, let’s get started. It’s been seven years since we last embarked on the wonderfully quirky world of Warehouse 13 and we’re thrilled to have not one, but two of the show’s stars here with us, Bering and Wells in the flesh, please welcome Joanne and Jaime!

Jo: [laughs] Hi!

Jaime: Hi guys!

Dana: Hi!

Jaime: Oh my goodness, I was tearing up watching that, that was just...

Dana: It’s so good, right?

Jaime: And Mal made it, of course, I mean just, the fandom is so amazing, that we have a fan who made that amazing movie, and I’m sitting here... were you tearing up, Jo?

Jo: Yeah... [laughs]

Dana: She’s like, I can’t talk right now!

Jaime: Aww.

Jo: Yeah, it’s, you know, it’s like, it’s like a, a wormhole, it’s like going in a wormhole, really, to see that put together in that way, and just, that somebody did that is, um, crazy, wonderful.

Jaime: Yeah.

Dana: When, when we are in person in, uh, in, in Las Vegas, I’m often backstage with the actors as they see these videos maybe f- for the first time, and your reaction is the reaction that everyone has. They all get teary, they all just like hold onto each other, it’s, it’s really sweet and wonderful.

Jaime: Oh my gosh, I, I wish I could go back in time and like, we film more of it and, and enjoy it more, because sometimes when you’re in it, you’re just going so fast and, you know, you don't even realize the meaning of, of, of what you’ve created until you see it through the eyes of the fans and what it meant to them, and then I, I wish I could lean into it more. [laughs]

Dana: Well, we’re certainly gonna get into that. [laughs]

Jaime: [laughs]

Dana: Alright, well, let’s kick things off! Uh, as of a we- a week ago, I was prepping to interview Jaime, and then suddenly the heavens opened up, and what was one became two. [they laugh] Joanne joined the party! How did this crazy kismet even happen?

Jo: I’m trying this new thing where I say yes. [laughs]

Jaime: [laughs] Well done!

Jo: Thanks. [laughs] Um, it’s a new thing I’m trying. Um, Jaime texted me and she’s like, I'm doing this thing, we had talked about it, I think the last panel we did at Dragon*Con maybe?

Jaime: Yeah.

Dana: 2018.

Jo: And she had told me about ClexaCon and I was like, that, because I really enjoyed that panel that we did, it felt, you know, I think one of the reasons, and I think that the work between us is, and I look at it now and I’m so touched because I, and I also just think the world of Jaime as an actor, I think she’s brilliant and her choices are so clean and-

Jaime: Ditto.

Jo: -full heart forward, like I, I’ve always been a fan of what she bought, and just personally on set I was in a, it was a very male environment, and Jaime came and I was like, oh my god, like, someone to talk to, someone who cared, and she took care of me, like she really - so I just, I don’t know, when she reached out I was like, of course, yes, yes.

Dana: Like it’s in two days, sure! Let’s, let’s go!

Jaime: We missed each other as well. It was also an opportunity to hang out, like, we missed each other!

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: We had this flurry of texts of like, checking in with each other, and what-

Jo: What have you been watching? what are you doing?

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: Where are you?

Jaime: Yeah, so.

Dana: Oh, that’s amazing! So you’ve maintained this really wonderful friendship since, since the end of the show.

Jo: Yeah, I mean, actors are nomads and we’re very sort of, I feel, Jaime, I don’t know if you feel the same way, but it’s like those friends that you have that you don’t see forever, but when you see them you fall back into a rhythm automatically, there’s never, it doesn’t feel push or pulled, it’s just, it’s just nice.

Jaime: I, I think also for us, um, I think there’s a sisterhood as well, you know, I think that, you know, Jo just touched on it. You know, often in a cast there’s, um, it’s changing and it’s evolving all the time, and this was seven years ago, and it was seven years before that, it started, so like fourteen years ago-

Jo: Oh my god. [laughs]

Jaime: But there’s, ninety nine point five percent of the people behind the camera are men, the majority of the parts are often men, or it’s, it’s male and women, but the men have the more heroic bits and the funnier lines and you’re kind of struggling with that and you’re glad to be working so you’re kind of making good and making it okay, but you’re kind of like, you know, getting feels, and, you know, as, as Joanne said, it, you know, you’re laughing at dick jokes when you don’t find them particularly funny- [all laugh]

Jo: Like wow! Oh! [sarcastic thumbs up]

Jaime: And so when I came in, I saw Jo - I had been on shows, like I was on a show called Hustle, I was the only girl in the cast, and then everybody, uh, behind the camera was, um, all men. Um, on Warehouse we had one female writer on some episodes, um, we never had a fe- uh, um, a female director on anything or a producer-

Jo: No we had, we had Tawn- [presumably about to mention Tawnia McKiernan] we had two fem- we had a few, but we were-

Jaime: No- no- not on my, not on my episodes.

Jo: Oh, on yours.

Jaime: But it was just like, I came in and I saw Jo and I understood, and I knew what her experience was, and so there was this kind of kinhood, this sisterhood, and I think it, it’s not a male-female thing, but it’s, it’s a minority and majority thing. When you’re in a minority and the majority is doing something, you either have to get down with the program and go with that flow, or you get kind of fe- you feel like you’re difficult or annoying to everybody. And I kind of came in and I just was like, oh like, I get it, it’s hard, and I’m gonna give this woman, like, my, my energy and my love and, so it was-

Dana: So you were like I- you looked at Joanne and you were like, that is someone I can smash the patriarchy with!

Jaime: [laughs] Yes.

Dana: Let’s do it!

Jo: No, I read a lot of books [laughs] when we weren’t filming. I would like get on my chair and just be like this. [mimes holding book in front of face]

Jaime: Yes!

Jo: [laughs] Like I’m doing this now, I’ll see you guys when we’re rolling again, you know, it was really- and, but also, you know, it’s so, and it is changing, it’s changing and evolving in a really, um, at a wonderful rate, but also I would get so excited to be in a scene with another woman that wasn’t about a man, you know, or that we weren’t- uh, it was just so nice to have girl-girl scenes. That never happens, it hardly ever happens. Like, the majority of scenes that you do are about love or acrimony with men, um, and it’s so nice to have a relationship with a woman that’s, um, sort of reflective of how relationships with women actually are. Um, I’ve been, I shifted into writing because of frustration with just not reading stories that I felt were reflective of our, my experience as a woman, you know, that sort of, um, and I think that Bering and Wells sort of in, I mean, that’s when that ship turned for me, as well.

Dana: Well ho- hold that thought, we are, we are going there!

Jaime: And, and also because it wasn’t, it actually wasn’t written. Um, there was, in a way we were able to steer that ship, and then we’d already kind of given a road map for the way this energy was, so it wasn’t written in the conventional way. Like, even like, when a, when a, when a, when a woman will have a love interest it’s, it’s often written by men and it’s o- often in a conventional kind of way, whereas our relationship, at a time before people were even kind of, uh, exploring this that much, um, now, now much more, thank god, it’s more, more inclusive. But it was more kind of, um, uh, complicated than, than maybe would’ve been written about, so it was given more nuance, yeah.

Jo: You mean like, do you mean like actual relationships? [laughs]

Jaime: You what? Say that again?

Jo: Like actual relationships! [laughs]

Jaime: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [laughs]

Jo: You know, that don’t come in and you have a “where they start and where they finish,” like that we, oh, we know where they’re gonna end up so we’ll just gonna-

Dana: Right, right.

Jo: -move them around like chess pieces. It was actually an energy that Jaime and I created, and the story sort of evolved from that energy as - it was inside out as opposed to outside in, which I think made it a real relationship.

Dana: Well, so my friend Dorthy Snarker, she once said that HG and Myka’s storyline has been main text pretending to be subtext, which feels really apt to me.

Jaime: Yeah!

Dana: So at what point-

Jo: Very smart.

Dana: What point in the show did it really click with the two of you that this connection that HG and Myka shared was something much deeper?

Jo: Jaime just had, Jaime, you just explained this very coolly in, in, um-

Jaime: One of our chats.

Jo: Yeah, yeah. Why don’t you speak to this, why don’t you take this?

Jaime: Well, well, first of all like I said, there was like kind of this sisterhood when I came in and, um, Jo, uh, Jo wasn’t like, like it wasn’t like I came in and she was like hey let’s be friends. I came in and she was behind a book, and she wasn’t particularly accessible, and she wasn’t, like, she was a bit grumpy, you know. And so I was like, my personality type is like, how do I crack this nut? [laughs] How do I make this woman love me? [laughs] This is the most unaccessible woman-

Dana: That explai- Jaime that explains a lot! [laughs]

Jaime: This is the most unaccessible women on the set, the mo- the most unaccessible human to me. How do I make her fall in love with me? So it’s like partly my narcissism-

Jo: [laughs] Jaime Murray in a nutshell, everyone!

Jaime: -and my ego, um, so I was kind of winning her over off set, and then, you know, as she was opening up to me and, you know, she was kind of telling me about some of the challenges she was coming up against, I was like, yeah, that’s, that’s not fair, and yeah, I completely get that, you know. So we were kind of like having that kind of journey, I’m like, like, I’m like, oh no, you’re not crazy, everyone else is crazy! Like, let’s smash the patriarchy!

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: And then, and then unfortunately, um, Jo hurt herself really badly doing a stunt, and, um, you know, there’s no time to hurt yourself on a film set, and there’s no time to take time and, and kind of heal your back or anything like that. So she was taking some pretty strong painkillers and she was working through it, and I had spinal surgery, I, I know what back pain is like, it’s, it’s the worst. I mean, it’s literally everything, you know, you feel like an old person. And so I was, um, taking care of her as best as I could, and we had the scene, and it was the scene in the street where, I, I think it's the first scene that, where I get the grappler out-

Dana: Oh, the grappler.

Jaime: And I shoot it into the air and I put my arm around her and we shoot up-

Dana: We’re very familiar with this scene. [laughs]

Jo: [doing grappler motion] [laughs]

Jaime: Yeah, so, so it’s like, it had like, physicality, and also it was a really, um, we always laugh that Toronto has about five seasons in one day, so you’ll like start shooting the scene and then suddenly there’s a, like a snowstorm! Bright sunshine!

Jo: Then it’s sunny! Then rain!

Jaime: Torrential rain, wind - and it was one of those, and we had to move to a new location, we were really behind in the day, and she had this one pice of hair that kept on like blowing in her face-

Dana: Oh, I know where this is going, Jaime. [laughs]

Jaime: And she was, the thing was, she was like, also these painkillers-

Jo: I was like, I can’t even see with the hair, I was like, I was hopped up on so many painkillers...

Jaime: Yeah, she was hopped up, she was like, I can’t even get my hair out of the way!

Jo: I think I actually called that day, it was the only time where I was like, guys I can’t work anymore, like, I literally, the doctor was like, you need to rest and I’m like I can’t. And the first AD came over to me and he was like, you’re gonna have to say stop, because nobody is gonna stop the filming, and I didn't wanna do that because you don't want to be the person that, that loses the day.

Jaime: That’s part of it, isn’t it? You’re, you can’t be, you can’t have any vulnerability or be a woman in any way, any shape or form on a film set. [laughs]

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: So I knew in the morning, and so I’d been like trying to take care of her and had, had like this experience of having spinal surgery, so I was like caretaking as much, as best as I could. I’m a Cancerian as well, so it’s in my nature.

Dana: Sure.

Jaime: And, um, and we‘re in this scene and we’d had to kind of cut so many times, and this hair just kind of-

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: -came over her face like this, and I just lent forward and on my line I just moved the hair out of her, um, face and put it back, and there was this, this look of genuine-

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: -surprise and shock in her face because we hadn’t rehearsed it and, and, and you know, we rehearse everything, and then, and then Joanne, what did you say that you-

Jo: I said I had this feeling, you know, when she did that I was like, oooh, um, what’s happening? [laughs]

Dana: [laughs]

Jaime: What are these feelings I’m having?

Jo: I did not expect all these feelings.

Jaime: Someone is being nice to me in this hostile world!

Jo: I was like this is so, it was like, pink light came up and there was glitter all of a sudden, and a unicorn in the back and, um-

Dana: Yep.

Jaime: They were really good drugs, you can’t, they’re illegal now, you can’t get them now cause they’re illegal now, but-

Jo: [laughs] No, no! But that point I’d say that the storyline really developed from inside out, you know outside, it was actually something, she did something that made me respond in a certain way, and as an actor you have those openings and you can choose to go, you either close them, like if, if I don’t like an actor [laughs] and someone does something, I might go like, no, I don’t wanna gonna go with that- [laughs]

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: -and change the track, but because I love Jaime and, and that happened, I sort of just was like I’m gonna go with this energy and see where it leads. And so it was a very organic, and it took me completely, and I had not expected it, it took me completely- but I liked it, so I started, then that...

Dana: So you are the reason, you two are the captains of the Bering and Wells ship. You made that happen!

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: But also I felt like HG, you know, she came from an era when the suffragette movement was, um, happening, and she was active in that, however, she had to write under her brother’s name, um-

Dana: Yeah.

Jaime: And as a woman, you know, she couldn’t be even open about her brilliance and she had to let her dimwitted brother take credit for it, and then she was frozen. So she was an activist before her time and suddenly she’s waking up in a world where there’s this dynamic woman, gun-toating woman kind of using her wits and brainpower and like, god bless Pete [laughs] but he was a little bit, like, she was the brains and the brilliance, and often he would be kind of like, you know, taking the credit for it or like having the girls flirt with him, and I just felt like if I grow up, if I woke up from, you know, a dream of, of being a suffragette and I woke up and I saw Myka, surely I would be more fascinated-

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: -by this woman who is everything that I had ever wished to be, so I started playing off this fascina- I was fascinated by her. Pete was just as stupid as my brother. [laughs]

Jo: And I do have to say, I do have to give the showrunner Jack Kenny credit here too, because Jack really let us run with it and started to lean into it, and the writers were all very accepting, so it was, and, and Jack particularly, you know, we had a lot, we had our creative differences, but he was really generous in this storyline with us, like I think, he gave us a lot of rope to play with-

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: And it was interesting rope, because they never-

Dana: It was attached to a grappling hook is what it was!

Jo: Yeah, and they never, like what i really loved about it is the never like put it on the nose it was always very elliptical, we always had room to breathe, um-

Jaime: Well partly I don’t, I think that it was, it was, it’s funny to talk about it now because it doesn't seem that long a- long ago, but it-

Jo: But it was so long ago...

Jaime: -it was unusual-

Jo: For that.

Jaime: -for the genre and for the audience that we were going for to, to actually go there, um,

Dana: Yeah. Seven years ago, you’re absolutely right. Things have changed tremendously, and especially in the last five years.

Jo: Yeah, yeah.

Jaime: And, but I think that Jack and Drew, they were kind of excited about what we were doing, but actually, you know, we weren't sure what the network would say or what the advertisers might think, and so, um, you know, I’m really proud of the work that we were able to, to say-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: You know, being the first in some ways.

Jo: It’s interesting, you know, like Jaime texted me, she sent me this video and I was looking at it and I was just so proud-

Jaime: I sent you Mal’s video, I sent you one of Mal’s other videos.

Jo: She’s wonderful, so like shoutout to her!

Jaime: Yeah

Jo: That’s, yeah, it was gorgeous, and I was really proud of the work, you know, after, it’s, you create these things in a bubble and, I haven’t se- I haven’t seen Warehouse, I never watched it. [laughs] so I’m always very surprised to see these videos, it feels like I’m cracking open-

Jaime: And I want to say as well, you know, when we say we haven’t down and watched all the shows, or you know, in some peoples’ cases, many of the shows, you know, it’s, it’s not because we don’t love the show and we don't love the work that everyone else has done, done, it’s actually a lot of actors don't watch, um, their own work. It’s, if, if you’ve ever heard your own voice on an answer phone or something and you're like, who’s that? Oh my god, that’s me!

Dana: [laughs]

Jaime: Like, so when you see yourself on TV or screen it’s like that on crack, it’s absolutely terrifying, and, and you’re like oh my god, like behind a pillow, like-

Jo: Filled with self loathing and despair. [laughs]

Jaime: Yes.

Dana: That’s okay.

Jaime: Which is a work in progress, I’m trying to deal with that now.

Dana: Well, when, at what point did you realize that queer people were actually starting to flock to the show to support this direction with these characters?

Jaime: We, we didn't know, we didn’t know-

Dana: No?

Jaime: Well, we, um, I, um, Jo’s not on social media so I don’t know when she knew, other than maybe when I told her. I saw replies on twitter-

Jo: Comic Con.

Dana: Somebody didn’t like hire a plane and like, around the area with like, a Bering and Wells forever…?

Jo: I, I remember, I remember going to Comic Con, for me because that’s’ when I had the fan interaction, um, because I wasn’t on Twitter-

Jaime: Yeah, there were fans that told us.

Jo: And, and, uh, a lot of the women, I remember being asked some very specific questions during panels, and, you know, there's a lot of guys who like to talk at those panel so I didn’t get to talk a lot but I made it quite, I, I made it quite clear about how important that storyline was to me and it, it, I realized very quickly that it was important to a lot more women than me. I didn’t really realize, too, that storytelling wasn’t represented in that way, at that point, you know. I didn’t feel that. I didn’t feel like that was a groundbreaking choice, to choose to be attracted to a woman in a scene to me is life, it’s how I live my life, I, I’m you know, I don’t have those, I’m not in a box [laughs] and it so when I realized, it was a eye-opening moment. I’m like, I’m like, wait, wait, this is, this is something new that’s not being done?

Dana: You guys were kind of on, you were like right here [miming going up a hill or mountain] and then shortly after Warehouse, it started going like [woosh noise of going down the other side of the hill] and this wave of representation started happening.

Jaime: Well, ev- even in Warehouse, there was an openly gay character in, in Warehouse.

Dana: Right, yes!

Jo: Yeah, yeah, there was Aaron.

Jaime: But it’s been, it’s been incredibly, um, powerful for, for, for, for me, um, you know, I I, think that a lot of people, some people are like oh my god, you know, I wish I could go back to my childhood or my teenage years, I, you could not pay me anything for, I would not go back to my teenage years for love or money. It was, it was a incredibly painful time for me, um, and not a particularly happy time for me, and, um, you know, just awkwardness, you know, all the stuff that, you know, all the stuff people feel in their teens, all the bad stuff I felt in my teens, so when I’ve spoken to people at conventions, um, and they've’ spoken to me about, um, Warehouse having, and our relationship in Warehouse having a positive effect for them in their teen, in their painful teenage years, it’s, it, it, it can bring me to tears, because i- if I could have imagined having kind of that, some kind of impact when I’d been a teenager maybe I wouldn't have been so miserable, but, um, I’m really humbled by it. it’s really lovely.

Dana: Yeah, you, you most certainly have had a tremendous impact on a lot of peoples’ lives and I’m so glad that you are able to take that and keep it in your heart.

Jaime: Yeah.

Dana: Speaking of this kind of sea change of the last few years, do you think that if Warehouse had been airing now that things might have ended differently? Do you think that maybe that subtext really would have been pulled much more into main text?

Jaime: You’d know better, Jo.

Jo: I...don’t know the answer to that question, um, perhaps, actually, absolutely! It’s twenty twenty-

Jaime: If we were writing it, maybe.

Jo: I mean, that’s what I’m trying to do. [laughs] Um, yeah, I think so. Maybe we would have been able to lean more into that storyline, um-

Jaime: Maybe we would’ve had a, be a stronger voice in shaping the narrative there.

Jo: It, yeah, I mean, Jack was, Jack was great about it, but it, it was a different, it was a different era. I think now is, is really a beautiful time for storytelling in the sense that it is really becoming so much more inclusive and we have representation, which, I mean, seeing ourselves represented in stories is how we understand ourselves in the world, and that’s, it’s so important, you know, it’s so important where we’re going, um, and I wish there could have been more of that in Warehouse, but I’m glad there was what there was.

Dana: Yeah.

Jaime: I, I, I also think that, um, you know, it’s changed so much in just such a short space of time, but particularly in the last couple of years, like, women were always, um, portrayed like, like, women always had to be perfect and kind of cute, and, you know, there had to be kind of something attractive or charming about them at all times, you know, and so we always had to put a bow on a woman to make her acceptable. And one of the things that I’m really loving is, you know, that women can be flawed and they can still, you can still love them and, you know, one of the things that always stun- stunned me is that I’ve been so welcomed into a community of kind, inclusive, um, you know, powerful activist, um, women, uh, um, and I’m like, why do these amazing women even like my characters when I’ve played such, um, a bad character, and it’s like-

Dana: But, but we love that! Queer women love a villain!

Jaime: Well, it’s like, flawed characters, and it’s like, and then recently I watched this show called, um, I hate Suzie Pickles [actual title of show: I Hate Suzie], um, there’s a show called, um, uh, I May Destroy You. They’re British shows, actually, both are.

Dana: Oh, yeah, it’s so good.

Jaime: And they, these are complex, um, women who make bad choices, and they self sabotage and they do things that are kind of frowned upon in society, and yet I love them, these women, and it’s like, if I can love these women for all their flaws, then maybe I'm okay too. And I think that we, we have to allow women to be flawed and lovable instead of just being cute little heroines that kind of support men at all times. I mean, it’s changed so much, that’s kind of, like the old, the old order of what it used to be, like, but yeah, it’s exciting.

Dana: That happe- That was what was written in my yearbook! Just, Dana Piccoli, flawed but lovable.

Jaime: Ah! [laughs]

Dana: So I totally, I totally can appreciate that.

Jaime: Was it that? Was it- that would be the best!

Dana: [laughs] I love that.

Jaime: Flawed and lovable, not but.

Dana: Oh yeah, yes, flawed and lovable, sorry, sorry. That’s, that’s what, that’s where I went wrong in the yearbook.

Jaime: Exactly.

Dana: Uh, J- Jaime. A lot has been made of this, the apples scene.

Jaime: Yes.

Dana: Do you think I smell apples is basically saying “I love you”? Were you, what do you think that Helena was trying to express at that time?

Jaime: I, I, I think that it was, um, a sense of, uh, acceptance, and, um, and, and, and, and, and love, I mean, uh, because Helena had always been such a, kind of a troubled character in so many ways and she had kind of, um, these struggles and this darkness and these mental health issues and I think that “I smell apples” was a, a, a wa- wa- was, she, she’d kind of come to the light, you know, she, she had, had kind of accepted herself, and it was such an altruistic act of love, she was sacrificing herself in order to save the others, that it was true love, like she’d overcome the darkness. So it was, uh, I, I, I, I, love that, uh, moment, yeah, that kind of-

Jo: I know we wanted, uh, one of the most beautiful definitions of love onscreen is recognition of your soul in someone else.

Dana: Mhmm.

Jo: That’s really what happens, and I thought that when Jaime did that, there was a very beautiful, I mean it’s sort of like Romeo and Juliet. You see this moment of, and we talked about it earlier, that energy, that to me is that. what that is-

Jaime: Yes.

Jo: -the scene is, “I smell apples.” It’s these two people who see each other in each other and are profoundly connected, whether, in whatever way that it is, it’s just a profound connection, you know, and so often we find boxes to put these connections in, you know, as humans, we want to make sense, we want to make logic of them, you know, which is, I think, um, why storytelling suffers in the representation, because you want to define what a thing is and kind of, um, the most beautiful things about some of the most special relationships is they, they're beyond what you can say they are, they’re beyond categorization, they are, you know...

Jaime: I, I, I definitely think that, although it wasn’t written in that way, I mean, if you actually go back and look at the footage, I’m saying “I love you” to, uh, uh, HG is saying “I love you” to Myka and Myka is is let-

Jo: I only think that’s what she was saying.

Jaime: -letting, letting it land.

Dana: Confirmation, folks! Confirmation, um, everyone!

Jo: In here. [points to head]

Dana: Write it in your vows, write it now in your vows!

Jo: Dana, you’re funny! [laughs]

Dana: Thank you!

Jaime: But wh- when, when did I come back and I was like, married to, what-

Dana: You, you weren't married, you were with a gentleman, and he had a, a young child and-

Jaime: And he was a bit of a drip as well!

Jo: And the house was very suburban, that’s all I remember was, I like walked into this house and I was like-

Jaime: That was, was that, I don’t really know the chronological, um, ordering, but like, I had like a ponytail, and I had a, possibly-

Jo: You were probably like driving a minivan.

Dana: You were teaching, you were teaching, weren’t you?

Jaime: Cause wasn’t I [indecipherable]

Jo: It’s okay, Jaime, I [indecipherable]

Dana: You were like in Phoenix or something.

Jaime: Yeah so, so what was that, after a bit I, so like “I smell apples” was the ending of my character, right? So like that, was that after a bit-

Dana: Right, and then you got rev- you were brought back-

Jaime: Right.

Dana: And then you kind of disappeared for a bit.

Jaime: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dana: Yes. Yeah, um-

Jaime: Yeah.

Dana: The, um, the, the, uh, the fans [laughs] were, um, confused by that, were like what?

Jaime: I d- I’m confused, I’m confused! [laughs]

Jo: Not just the fans, not just the fans.

Jaime: Well, I actually, um, I, I, I really want to go back and see that scene, um, I, I feel like you came to, I don’t, I was living in like suburbia-

Dana: Mhm.

Jaime: And, and didn’t you come to-

Jo: I don't remember.

Jaime: -the house and I, I think you came to-

Jo: I remember that horrible house though, because it was like, it… [makes disgusted face]

Jaime: It was so weird and I was like hello, I’m kind of like a completely different woman!

Jo: It was like very Stepford, I like, I walked in and, I don’t know why Myka was so accepting, I would’ve taken a baseball bat to the house, gonna be like, we’re leaving!

Jaime: So, so, so, so, I, so I, Jack, so Jack, Jack-

Jo: Get out of here, you drank the Kool Aid!

Jaime: I remember Jack was there and I was like, um, uh, oh, like this, like, like this doesn't work because of this and this doesn’t work because of that, and I was having a little, kind of like a creative difference with him, and, and he left for the day, he left for the day, and I really want to go back and see that s- that, that scene, because I remember I was asking him if I could, yeah, I know it’s, it says this but could I play it like this? And I do- I remember he didn’t want me to for the storyline, but I remember he left. [laughs] So I’d love to go back and see, I, I remember think- feeling like I was quite naughty, that I actually got away with it, but, uh-

Dana: Oh, I am loving all the subversive shit that was happening behind the scenes. [laughs]

Jaime: Yeah. [laughs]

Jo: Do you remember the park bench as well? Remember that scene, it was-

Jaime: Oh, yeah, a bench.

Jo: Wasn’t that a bench?

Jaime: Oh, that was a love scene, that was a love scene.

Jo: That was a, yeah, we really went for that one. [all laugh]

Jo: Everyone was like, what? And I’m like, well, we’re doing it. Might as well!

Jaime: [laughs] And we’re in like, Toronto, and everyone behind the camera, like, they’re very blokey, and it’s not in the script, and then they're like, “oh I didn’t, they’re, they’re, oh I didn’t see that coming!” [laughs]

Jo: They were like, what are you guys doing? We’re like, we’ll figure it out! [laughing]

Jaime: Exactly! We’re just doing our own thing. [laughs]

Dana: Oh, a little, a little mutiny, a little bit! [laughs] Well we, we, we’ve ha- we’ve had such incredible conversation so far, and I have so many fan questions for you, and if we were onstage everyone would get to come up to the mic-

Jaime: Aw.

Dana: -and ask you questions, but I do have a bunch of questions that were sent in, um, so I do want to get to your fans, because your fans are so integral to keeping this like-

Jo: That’s why we’re here.

Dana: -story alive. Uh, let’s see here. Let’s kick it off. Alright, so wellsbering wants to know, what personality traits do you share with your characters?

Jaime: Well I think, I think that, um, I, uh, definitely always get cast as the baddie for whatever reason, but then I think that, um, really the quirky mess that I, I, I morphed into is basically me. [all laugh]

Jo: I like that answer, that’s great. Um, I, uh, am very A-type when it comes to certain things, and Myka very much, I’m very like, flowy, Myka wa- didn’t flow, but there are certain parts of my life where I’m not flowy around. My work is one of them, writing is another one. Um, and I’m very afraid of letting people down. I think that’s why I've been, I was te- telling a lot of the people that I was talking to today that, you know, the reason I didn’t do this a lot when the show was on, I couldn’t understa- i was like, why do people wanna meet me? They're gonna meet me and be disappointed.

Dana: Ohhhh.

Jo: Yeah.

Dana: I think everyone thinks that though, I think that’s very common.

Jo: I think tha- yeah, I think that’s the human condition, right?

Dana: Yes.

Jo: Um, but, but I think Myka and I share that sort of reserve, you know, that thing where you’re like I don’t, no, don’t get too close. I’m like a Monet, stay back. [laughs]

Jaime: And I, I think that was part of the chemistry as well, it’s like, you have that kind of like, you know, protectio- protective-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: -kind of like, edge. And so it’s like, if, I think that i- in a way, the gift that we had by it not being written for us is, if had been written we would’ve, the characters would’ve made each other, um, accessible to each other far too quickly. It was like the slow burn of, Myka could be quite prickly, and my character was completely messed up so it was kind of like, this kind of like energy between them where they were kind of like, you know, like working each other out, feeling each other out-

Jo: Is there? Is there an energy there?

Jaime: And then the laughs were well earned, and the smiles, and the deciding to work together was well earned. There was a, a lot of suspicion around each other, and when they opened up or they kind of let their guard down, it was hard earned, and and it was like, you know, something you would wanna rejoice at.

Jo: Yeah, aw, I love that.

Dana: Um, okay, so this is from mayberrycosplay, uh, you may remember mayberrycosplay, I believe one of them dressed as HG at a con, uh-

Jaime: Oh!

Dana: -but they wondered-

Jaime: I’ve seen a few HGs.

Dana: You’ve seen a few HGs.

Jaime: [laughs]

Dana: This is for Jo about, uh, Myka’s experience with ovarian cancer and, uh, like, how the awareness of this silent killer of women, like how that storyline, what that storyline meant to you and how it felt to portray that?

Jo: I was really nervous about that storyline, you know, anything that has affected people and their families and, and it’s always, I, you know, difficult territory to walk as an actor, especially in a show like Warehouse where there's so much happening on such a grand level that I’m like, are they going to pay attention to this? Are they going to really honor a storyline like this? was my concern, you know, like very often things like that are added like, uh, it’s like putting a robot arm on a story, and you're like oh, and by the way, there’s ovarian cancer! And so I was really, you know, concerned about showing up for that and, and, and and serving it in a way that people understood and, and could identify with that, you know, it’s such a catharsis, that’s what I think it’s supposed to be. Um, so it was, uh, I, the fans told me I pulled it off, that’s the only way that I know.

Dana: Well it meant a tremendous amount to, to mayberrycosplay and so that’s why they, they sent that in because it, it really affected them because of their own personal-

Jo: Yeah.

Dana: -you know, family journeys and such.

Jo: Well I’m so, so, thank you, I mean, I’m still wondering, you know, I worked really hard to make sure that was in there. We’ve all lost somebody to cancer, we all know what that’s like, we all know- I mean, I mean, I certainly have, to feel a lump and be like [does the Home Alone face] you know. I have two friends right now who are going through it, so I try to honor it in the best way. I- it’s one of the things that makes me want to be an actor, uh, that I think is so special about it is that you get to tell stories that people, it’s a group catharsis, you know, so I’m glad that, glad they think I, the only thing that, if they think I sh- I showed up then... [laughs] yes, good, good, good.

Dana: Um, let’s see here, cloxy813 wants to know what was your favorite, favorite scene to film together?

Jo: Probably the heaving bosoms scene. I was excited for the heaving bosoms scene, which was all like [mimes placing gun to forehead] kill me!

Jaime: [laughs]

Dana: Hashtag heaving bosoms scene.

Jo: It was so hot that day, I remember my tank top-

Jaime: So hot, oh my god, it was like-

Jo: It was like, my tank top, I would like look down and find, I was like, my boobs are out, um. [laughs] I just saw him sign, them sign, um.

Jaime: We were by that lake, I just wanted to dive in there. It was-

Jo: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I loved, I loved, I loved doing that scene, I have to say. And, and the chess scene, I remember that.

Jaime: Oh yeah.

Jo: I remember that very well. Um, I really enjoyed my work with Jaime because I, as I said, you know, there’s not a lot of scenes that are two women just being women. It was so, it was like a breath of fresh air and so I, I wasn't, I was, uh, you know, a lot of the times Myka was there to witness Pete-

Jaime: Or, or, or to laugh, or to kind of laugh and sigh at his super funny jokes.

Jo: The funny jokes... um, so, so it was so nice to not ha- be in a scene from that point of view. So often women are are written as accessories-

Jaime: Yeah.

Jo: You know, and, and this was a storyline where I felt like she was a whole person and I could be like a whole, real person, I didn't have to be like-

Jaime: I, I, I, I, I was on a show called Hustle and there was a character on it called Danny Blue, and he had all the funny lines, and one of the refrains that I had was “oh Danny. Oh Danny,” where every time he said something cheeky or naughty or a joke I’d go “oh Danny,” and I remember just being so excited to get the job, but then after awhile like me saying “oh Danny” really wore thin, especially as off camera I feel like I was more witty! [laughs] In that space I was much more funny, but all the funny was written for him, and I was going “oh Danny.” So when I came in I really, I kind of, um, you know, I knew the frustration of playing the, kind of, you, you know-

Jo: Straight man.

Dana: The “oh Danny.”

Jo: -if you were playing, right, right, the brainiac, uptight brainiac, and Pete had all the funny lines, so obviously we were in a lot of scenes with the rest of the cast and keeping the story going, but I felt as though all the character stuff that we had as, as women came from the scenes when we were on our own, and obviously that first scene with the grappler, um, you know, was, it was kind of the first scene where I’d been playing kind of like a little, kind of kind of like sneaky little looks and curiosity and fascination with this woman-

Dana: Yeah, we noticed.

Jaime: And, but, but, I, but, it wasn’t until the grappler scene that I thought that, that i was starting to get this, kind of, this chemistry going, and then there was a scene, do you remember the scene where I didn’t know how to work a computer or open it, it was like a, I was like a monkey-

Jo: Yeah [laughs] yeah.

Jaime: I was like a, it was like, I didn’t know what this is, we were-

Dana: Well, I mean in, in f- in fairness you had been in bronze for a long time.

Jaime: -we were in like a stu- a student room, a student's room, it was-

Jo: Yeah, we were at the college, we were at U of T.

Jaime: And, and. and we’d, it was the first time we’d deci- you’d, you’d kind of begrudgingly decided that we could work together, and HG was kind of a little thrilled, and you were a bit begrudging and-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: There was all, we, we still had to, ‘cause like, in sci-fi there’s a lot of storyline and exposition and kind of fantastical stuff, which is super fun, but actually as actors you really get excited about the character stuff and there was always just this great character stuff whenever we were on our own with a scene-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: -um, because we didn’t have to worry so much about servicing all the other characters, we just serviced each other.

Dana: Well, you know, there are only two kinds of queer women. It is thrilling or begrudging, it’s one or the other. [all laugh]

Dana: They fit perfectly in there.

Jaime: I mean maybe that’s why it resonated so well, and maybe it was the reason it was so great, that it wasn’t written, because you had these two kind of like, kind of sli- slightly spiky kind of like flawed women, kind of like o- one, you know, one not particularly into the other at all, you know, so-

Jo: It was interesting, I still remember, I still remember receiving that energy and receiving that stuff and realizing, sort of plotting, cause I’m like, how long would it take Myka to figure this out?

Jaime: [laughs]

Jo: Seriously, I was like, cause, Joanne is not her,, I’m, you know, I’m wasn’t in the box that she, I always thought, Jack’s like, you’re exactly like that character, I’m nothing, I’m not- [laughs] I mean there’s a part of me that’s uptight but there's a part of me that’s most definitely not, so I was like how, and I really wanted to do the discovery of it within her, the like, this, the, this feeling started, and then her sort of, and M-Myka to me as a character as a whole was always somebody who was afraid, this is somebody who was always very scared of everything and presented themselves in this very [mimes acting stuffy and uptight] way because there was so much going on here [gestures to heart] and it was slow in the five seasons, I really wanted her to like, you know, relax and start laughing and not be so, and I was like, there’s a certain amount of wonder that was like-

Jaime: Endless wonder.

Jo: -ohhhh, ohhhhh, ohhhh, like you kind of see her, one of the things about that journey is you start to see her discover sort of herself and her own feeling surrounding that, which I thought was really special.

Jaime: And also you, um, you, you kind of ended up, you, you know, HG was kind of like a tricky character and she was always one step ahead, um for, that first season, but then when she started to fall apart, you were the one that kind of put her together, and then I felt like there was also this humor introduced, this lightness introduced to your character through the humor el- elements-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: -and the surprise, which was, um, really lovely for your character.

Jo: Yeah, I, I think for m- for me, you know, it was a decision I made like in season two that I k- she had to evolve and grow and sort of, um, I couldn’t, I was, I was, I was like, I can’t keep coming to work and putting a giant stick up my ass [laughs] like we’re doing, like I need just to like expand her and go towards her relaxing and really finding, I think for her the big thing was always finding connection, you know, this-

Dana: Sure.

Jo: -we, we see in the beginning of the show is, it’s very cut off, very isolated, very like, and I, she lost her partner, that was, when I read that script, immediately I was like, this is someone who’s so scared of losing people again that she’s never gonna let anyone else in, and that was sort of like my understanding of her. And when Jaime came on, it was such a great way to explore that, Myka opening, you know, as feelings developed, her opening, you know-

Dana: Well, that, the growth, the character journey that both of your, your characters went on, I think that is what makes the show still so enduring to fans, like why they feel so connected to it, because we do, we saw that journey, you know, both of you had your own journeys to go on and you somehow managed to cross, cross paths, and it may not have ended the way fans had wanted it to, but we still go so much out of it.

Jo: I’m so glad.

Dana: I wish it was endgame, but what can I do?

Jaime: We, we, we need a spinoff show for Jo and I, we, we need a spinoff show.

Dana: Okay, yes, the spinoff, okay! You need to talk about that because-

Jaime: Who do we need to talk to to make that happen?

Dana: I got in a lot of trouble on Twitter yesterday for not asking a spinoff question, uh, what, like, what would a spinoff look like between between HG and Myka?

Jo: I think it would be have, to be now, which we-

Dana: Yeah.

Jo: And we’d have to get her, there’s no ponytails in this story, there’s no suburbs, there’s no fucking ponytails, um, no-

Jaime: I won- I won- I wonder if, um, it could be now, but, or, I wonder if I, I had to come in for a mission and then I actually pulled you back into my time, that might be an interesting way to turn it on its head.

Dana: Ooh, Jaime Murray, there we go!

Jaime: If we both had to go back-

Dana: I love me some period.

Jaime: -into my time or you know what made me think that [she does the Jaime Murray hair flip™] what I-

Jo: [laughs]

Jaime: I saw that, I saw that ne- The Nevers-

Jo: I miss that hair flip!

Jaime: -the, the, the a- the adverts for The Nevers on HBO, and I’m like that is the HG Wells spinoff right there, and I was like super fucked that I wasn’t in that, and then I read that Joss Whedon was a consultant and I was like [inaudible] really bad, so, but, anyway I think that that’s what we should do. I, I’m also obsessed with that time period.

Jo: I mean, yeah, and also like it was real, yeah-

Jaime: It was the beginning of ps-

Jo: Yeah.

Jaime: -psychology, of like Tesla, of of like different thoughts, there was like, they were like spiritual, um, kind of scientists and atheism and there was all it this opportunity for change, which actually wasn’t taken, but it was actually, it’s super interesting right at the time, there was suffragettes-

Jo: Also a fish out of water for me would be so wacky, because I’m a fish out of water too, alright.

Dana: I’m curious if yo all saw the Saturday Night Live sketch the other, uh, last week with, uh, lesbian period drama-

Jaime: Oh!

Dana: -and how, how every lesbian, like anything that features lesbians now has to be- [laughs]

Jaime: Well have you e- have you ever-

Dana: -it’s like the Edwardian or, like the Edwardian times.

Jaime: Have you guys read Sarah Waters, do you know this?

Dana: Oh, of course!

Jaime: Like, so, and maybe that is actually what helped me get to HG Wells, but I loved those books when-

Dana: Oh, they’re so amazing.

Jaime: -I was growing up and I feel like we should make those o- we should remake one of those b- Jo, you’ve got to read those books, and then-

Jo: I’m writing it down! I’m taking notes!

Jaime: Oh, it’s amazing.

Dana: You two would be amazing in her most recent one.

Jaime: She writes these amazing Edwardian, Edwardian kind of wanton lust and then there’s like, like the vervain or whatever, that kind of drug that they used to take back then-

Jo: Opium?

Jaime: -so it’s like slightly, kind of like psychedelic, oh, it’s amazing, yeah, she’s amazing.

Dana: [laughs] Well, we unfortunately are out of time, and it’s been so much fun to talk to the two of you, and I, I love the love that you have for your characters, for your friendship, for the fans, uh, it’s, it’s so lovely to see, and thank you so much for making this work in your schedules, I know you’re both super busy doing your own projects, um, and I want to think Mark. Mark, you’re amazing, thank you so much for, for interpreting.

Jaime: Thank you, Mark!

Jo: Thank you, Mark!

Dana: Um, do you have anything you want to end with, to say to the, to the Bering lesbians out there?

Jaime: Well, first of all, I want to say that, um, if anyone sends me messages to, you know, pictures or anything that that Jo needs to see, I’ll make sure that Jo, Jo gets it, ‘cause she’s not on social media, and I’ll, I’ll share stuff with her so that she can kind of know the love from the community.

Dana: Yeah, great.

Jo: I think, um, I’m actually gonna try to put together a newsletter because I’m trying to get my shows made and I could use this community, you know, to help-

Dana: Oh, we will support you to the end! We will march off that cliff with you.

Jaime: I could help you make a Twitter account, just for our community.

Jo: I don’t wanna do Twitter, I wanna do a newsletter. [laughs] I don’t wanna, I don’t know how many characters are in it, but it’s not enough. [laughs]

Jaime: But Jo, Jo, you have to actually read some of the fanfiction. The fanfiction is epic.

Jo: I have a book that I got, somebody wrote a book-

Jaime: Unbelievable, oh my god.

Jo: -like a novel.

Jaime: They’re brilliant, these people are brilliant, like best fans ever.

Dana: There is some really incredible work out there.

Jaime: Well, do you want to-

Jo: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone, um, you know, I don’t do these very often, and just like, the outpouring of love, like just the connection, I really appreciate it, I’m so grateful, so thank you.

Jaime: Yeah, it’s such a beautiful community. I feel really proud to have been welcomed into it and, uh, very grateful.

Dana: Well, we’ll hope to see you another time, and thank you all who turned in to this panel. [Jaime blows kisses]

Jo: Thank you.

Jaime: Bye, guys.

Dana: Do you smell apples?

Jaime: Bye, Jo, I love you so much.

Jo: Do you smell apples? I love you too. [blows kiss] I’ll talk to you soon.

Jaime: Yes, I’ll see you later. Bye bye, darlings.

Jo: Bye.

[sxftkxssxs]

The M6 in the Hogwarts Houses? Slytherin, Ravenclaw, etc. But of course if you have watched or read the books/movies and know about the houses- sorry for bothering you and have a good day :’)

oh no!! you haven't bothered me at all love! I'm a huge harry potter fan (we ignore JK Rowling) so I know exactly what you're talking about!!

also this does contain some spoilers so if you haven't completed their upright ends I would skip this post <3

Asra

I feel like they'd be either Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff.

Ravenclaw because they're thoughtful, and they know so much.

Even though they know so much he goes through the effort to learn more.

he shows wit from how quickly and cleanly he thinks. and also funny ways, I mean? replacing blood with pomegranate juice?

Hufflepuff because he's hardworking and patient, they show they've been loyal to the mc even after their death.

Even then they stay by the mc's side even if they choose someone other than him.

He's patient, he's shown that from literally biding their time to both raise mc from the dead and teach them everything all over again

final decision, would probably be Ravenclaw, they're much more similar to more of those traits.

Julian

HUFFLEPUFF!

No other correct answer in my book

He's loyal to his family and the mc, to the point he gets himself into trouble trying to keep them safe and happy.

You see his hard work from how he worked during the plague and how he changed with the mc in-game.

he is iffy in the justice department at first, but he does end up pretty okay at the end with justice.

patience is something you'd need to have if you traveled everywhere and then came back to Vesuvia for answers yes?

Julian is a Hufflepuff and no one can change my mind <3

Nadia

Ravenclaw or Gryffindor.

she's smart and always researching. Practically the definition of Ravenclaw!

she's got the wit too, thinking ever more clever than Asra would.

Shown by outsmarting half the courtiers and her ex-husband

But she also showed that she's extremely brave, even if she's scared of what's to come, shown when she's faced with Lucio's return to Vesuvia

Nadia obviously has nerve, she hunted Lucio in that forest and then went and broke down both him and his courtiers

She's very much close to the Gryffindor definition too.

girl is like 50/50 and I'm gonna say Ravenclaw as a final decision but it could go either way

Muriel

he's a Gryffindor

the Neville of the group if you will

he's much more reserved and embarrassed than any of the others.

but that's what makes him even braver, a big quality of a Gryffindor.

He shows that he's brave, often taking risks that could get him killed in his upright route

he's obviously got nerve! he walks right up to the devil count and woops him in a game contest! the count that basically held him, hostage, nonetheless!

would make a better farmer than a knight though- he still does have some of those traits.

Portia

she's a tough decision, but I'd say Hufflepuff like her brother

Hufflepuff because no matter what she does, she's loyal, even when that loyalty pulls at her from both ends ( from her brother and the countess) she finds a way to keep both sides

She's very with Justice ( unlike her brother ) and tries to convince both Julian and Nadia that you shouldn't hang an innocent man. The only reason they go through with it is because of Julian's plan/idiocy

she's plenty patient, she deals with snobby nobles and the courtiers all day, could you?

hard work? girl runs her own garden and keeps the palace in check, even when it gets completely torn apart in her upright ending! evidence? Every single servant and citizen/noble in that palace listens to her orders in that crisis

Lucio

hear me out, Slytherin OR Gryffindor.

yes he's cunning, and a leader (in the battle sense)

he is resourceful, getting out of sticky situations that while he did get himself into, he wiggles out of them.

he's done anything to get his way in the past as well, something Slytherins are known to do!

BUT he's also brave and almost as good as a knight would be, especially once the mc straightens him out

Lucio would most likely be a Gryffindor that would've been on the same path Peter Pettigrew was, but the mc just- yoinked him back to start

also he seems to really like red and gold so, Gryffindor is basically canon guys-

[ozzy-bozzy]

Could you possibly do a Reki x reader hurt/comfort where reki’s having a bad day and unlike usually reader can’t pick up on his signals so he sorta snaps that them?

hello my lil anonie, 'm sorry if this is a bit poor quality but i'm really tired! But I wanted to finish this tonight so here u go :) it helps to write angst when I'm tired bc I don't have a bunch of energy

You waited in the usual spot, fingers drumming against your thigh as you waited for Reki. You two would be headed to his house from school as planned, and you were buzzing with excitement you could hardly stand still. You kept glancing around, looking for the usually upbeat boy and had almost missed him when he came into your field of vision, kicking a rock as he walked. He had nearly walked past you since his head was down and wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings. Calling out his name, he raised his head and had an almost tired look on his face,

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He just half shrugged in response, and you were a bit iffy on his reply but you figured if something was truly getting to him he would tell you and you could talk about it,

“Well, I’m really excited to hang out with you today! I was thinking about it during the entire class I don’t think I learned a single thing” You and Reki fell into step as you walked home, which mainly consisted of you talking and him quietly listening, not muttering a single word.

Once you made it to his house, he opened the front door and went straight to his room. You followed closely behind, struggling to take off your shoes as fast as he did and offering a quick greeting to his mom and sisters who stuck their heads out in the hallway at the sound of the door opening. In his room, Reki had leaned his board against the wall and tossed his bag half haphazardly onto the floor before curling up over his covers, not even bothering to take his jacket off. You came into the room, excited to finally be here and spend time with Reki. You saw him curled up on the side of his bed and smiled, an idea popping into your head. You quickly put your bag near the door and crawled up on the bed, coming up behind him and lightly shaking his shoulder.

When he didn’t move, you shook him a little harder. He curled tighter into himself and you tried to roll him over, but he wouldn’t budge. You were softly saying his name over and over, thinking he was playing some silly game with you which you were determined not to lose. You tried grabbing onto the arm he had tucked into his chest and he just roughly pushed your arm away from him. Shocked at the sudden movement, you backed away a bit from him,

“..Reki…?”

“Why can’t you tell that I want to be left alone right now? How hard is it to get anything through that thick skull of yours? I just had a really shitty day and you’ve been so preoccupied talking about yourself and ignoring me the entire time we’ve been together to even bother to notice I’m feeling shitty! Honestly, you can be so annoying sometimes…”

You blinked owlishly at him, looking at his irritated face and seeing the tears begin to well up in the corners of your eyes he just huffed and turned back over. You stood from the bed and grabbed your bag, making your way to the door. You passed his mother and siblings who had heard the shouting and tried to get you to stay, knowing Reki was just worked up, but you passed them without a sound, put your shoes back on, and walked home.

Sniffling and trying to keep the tears from falling, you made your way home. Once home and in your room, you curled up in your own bed and if you weren’t reliving Reki yelling at you over and over in your head, you might have laughed at how you’re now in the same position Reki was in. As you felt the beginnings of a headache coming along, you decided it was probably best to get some rest and felt yourself slipping away to sleep.

You didn’t sleep long, maybe an hour or two, waking up to the sound of your phone going off. Ignoring the abundance of texts Reki had sent you, you took note of the time and put your phone back down, rolling over away from it and closing your eyes again, willing yourself to fall back asleep and leaving Reki to be dealt with in the morning.

[prettywarriors]

Ok ill bite whats the worst mg series

alright, whats the worst magical girl series in your opinion?

Thanks you two for letting me do some yelling. The obvious guess would likely be one of the recent edgelord shows right? Magical Girl Site or something similar? But nay I say, for while MGS and Day Break Illusion and such and what not generally tell you what to expect right away. Don't like super violence and suffering? Watch something else is the clear message from the get go. One of the bait and switch series then like Madoka or maybe Yuki Yuna? For what faults they may or may not have, at least these series do something and are interesting, even if you're not huge on what goes down in the series. A parody then? They range from affectionate to banned in New Zealand but regardless of quality and their feelings for MGs, it's a parody. It's a joke and shouldn't be taken seriously (plus they're usually short so you can just forget about them forever).

So what makes a series terrible then, I am sure you are asking. IMO? Setting expectations for an interesting and enjoyable series, and then dashing them to hell.

Come with me below the cut, as I talk about Key Princess Story: Kagihime Eternal Alice Rondo!

Spoilers abound so if you care about those for a 15 year old series, click away.

Background: Kagihime was a 4 volume manga that ran from 2004-2006 that was picked up for a 13 episode anime adaptation near the end of its run. The manga is created by a pair (Kaishaku) who you may know for making Magical Nyan Nyan Taruto. Kannazuki no Miko, and Steel Angel Kurumi, and the anime had a script written by the same writer (Mamiko Ikeda) for Tenshi Ni Narumon who also did some script writing for Princess Tutu and Seven of Seven. The anime also had 6 character music videos which are fairly simple but a nice addition to the series for the main girls. Discotek has been publishing the anime in the states in recent years, and the manga was brought over by *squints at book spine* Dr Master Publications.

The Premise: Girls transform and enter weird outside of reality spaces to fight each other with giant keys to take each other’s stories to create a third Alice In Wonderland story.

Well, an off-brand Alice story written by Alternate L. Takion, rather than Lewis Carroll/Charles Dodgson, that while the series uses all the aesthetic hallmarks of the tradition Alice, the little we see of the in universe Alice story is clearly different. Which is fine, at the end of the day, it’s still about someone who loves the Alice stories and wishes there was more, and even makes his own fanfiction version. His? Oh yeah, while the girls do all the fighting, the main character is Aruto, a teen boy who loves Alice, and for reasons we don’t know till late game, can enter the liminal spaces that the ‘Alice Users’ fight in. He chases a girl who looks like the Alice he sees in his story, who is named Arisu, and gets roped into this fanfic battle royale. He is also the older brother of the very needy Kirihara, who also ends up being and Alice User. As does Kirihara’s bff Kisa. To round out the group of enemies-turned-friends-who-will-work-together-to-collect-the-Eternal-Alice-without-having-to-fight-eachother group is a young genius researcher Kirika who wants to know more about Aruto’s connection that allows him to enter the spaces where the girls fight.

Then there’s all the other girls, some of whom still have real importance to the story and some who have a few panels or 2 scenes total. But with a whole bunch of girls to design, the creators reached out to a whole lot of other people to have them create designs! Eventually the battle gets down to the last few girls, there’s a confrontation with the guy running the whole thing, and while the anime and manga vary quite a bit the whole time, in both version Aruto ends up with Kirihara. Oh and Arisu was created by Aruto’s super imagination powers.  

The Promise: Here on is subjective, particularly with what I personally saw as potential from this series. because I need you to understand how much I want to like this series. 

~Alice in Wonderland themed: I know some people aren’t alice fans and that’s fine you do you but as a big alice fan this is great. We have a few alice episodes and themed characters amongst series like CCS and MGRP, and even Alice themes in other series like Tweeny Witches and Alice 19th. But damn it I am down for Alice series.

~Giant Keyyyyyyyys: Yeah yeah Kingdom Hearts but these keys are much more staff like for a lot of the characters which ads and air of elegance rather than the KH ones that for me at least feel well designed for big ol props rather than actual weapons. We also get...

~Weapon variety: It counts as a key if it’s a thorn whip that can be shaped like a key right? How about a giant pocket knife? Crossbows can also be keys. Hush. And we have this variety because

~Guest Artists: For magical girl series where we have a variety of outfits designed by different people, we have Kagihime, Uta~Kata, and uhh I guess Magia Record? But that’s a mobile game with a hella number of characters and with how mobile game works I wouldn’t count it just because it’s less the intent of the series to have variety and more the nature of having lots of girls. (Precure doesn’t count because unless I missed a memo each season’s set is still by one designer). If a series isn’t about a team and therefore doesn’t need cohesion, bringing in other artists is a great way for variety and new looks. 

~The long term goal: Fighting with other people who love the same piece of media you do in hopes of creating new material that will be viewed as official? That’s just fandom nowadays. But it’s a legitimate interesting concept, and opens up so many doors for a message for the series, be it ‘what you create is no less valuable than the canon work’ or ‘it’s hard to let go when something you love doesn’t have more to it but you can still love it for what it is’ or ‘bond with the people who like the thing you like ya idiot instead of fighting about it’. The concept is interesting and there are so many narrative ways you can take this.

~Gays: Between the anime and manga, we have at least 5 wlw. Is it a magical girl series without some gays? (side note- the manga had a short thing where the MC wears a girl’s uniform and is pretty comfortable in it and while there is no way this was the intent, between that and the emphasis on the stories that live in girls and how the fight zones have no men, I’m just saying, Trans girl Aruto.)

~Greater Fairy Tale Premise: We meet a Little Match Girl based MG who is obsessed with Andersen rather than the Alice books, and touch on a Sleeping Beauty character in the manga. The manga at least implies that classic stories and fairy tale authors uh. Live on in a liminal space as immortals with world warping powers within that world and there could be opportunities for other girls in the real world to fight for Little Mermaid 2: Electric Boogaloo.

The Good: Everything has positive points, no matter how bad it is.

~Character Designs: Some of those looks slap. As do most of their weapons. 

~Backgrounds: I have a strong opinion on backgrounds in anime that can be easily boiled down to old watercolor backgrounds good, modern filtered photos as background bad, and as a 2006 series, this might not be Memole nice but they’re quite attractive. 

~Splash Pages: Easily my favorite thing after the designs, each chapter’s title page for the manga just has a character standing in a setting. Which is not everyone’s thing I’m sure but it’s a nice simplistic way to let the characters breathe imo. Even if at least some of the settings were deffo traced. But that’s how backgrounds work to some extent? If I ever get to the Met again, I am tracking down this exact photo, but here is a likely candidate for an example.

~Different Versions: I do not understand the need to make an adaptation that tries to be a 1:1. Kagihime had the same ideas and characters and did some of the same beats but very much had a different finale story and a lot of changes in the middle (like the Alice cops in the manga). Again, not something everyone probably wants I’m sure, but I very appreciate this, especially since the Anime kept good pace with the number of Manga chapters (reading the manga again while watching the anime at 3.8x speed just now was very interesting to see the different interpretations of events in a different medium.)

The ‘Fine’: Yeah.

~Anime Visuals: Look 2006 was still early enough into digipaint that I will give it a total pass on these. The colors are too bright but in a very bland way, the lineart is nothing interesting, and the faces are. Iffy. But it’s not total garbage to look at (probably helped by backgrounds and character designs...) it just came out in an era where not enough people knew how to stylize things to account for the weakness of the tools of the time. (It was 4 years earlier but I feel Kagihime is the polar opposite of Chobits with its painfully bland color palette while still being just. Flat. Sorry for the drive by Chii.) 

~Music?: There sure were songs. Obviously, they are nothing to me.

The Bad: CW for.... somehow all the big things to an extent. 

~Fanservice: Look, I am fine with fanservice, especially for a series that’s, ya know, not targeted at kids, big Mai Hime fan here even if I would recommend skipping the panty thief episode. And honestly the series generally isn’t fanservicey, at least by the modern standards of having the camera choosing under the skirt rather than an over the shoulder shot like I’ve seen plenty in other shows. Even the sexier outfits like the rose whip dominatrix aren’t bad BUT. When the girls fight. One takes her phallic key and drives it into another girls chest between the boobs while the loser cries in pain and then her book comes out and when the victor rips out pages, the loser’s clothes also rip. It is very SuperS Amazon Trio assault metaphor-y. There’s also a bit of fanservice with the sister becauseeeee....

~Incest: If you read the premise up there, first wow good job because I’m sure not re-reading that, you might have noticed I said MC ends up with his sister. As someone who is a big mythology fan and watches plenty of anime, I have a decent tolerance for your obligatory ‘oh we’re siblings but actually cousins so our feelings are okay’ or whatever the fuck Citrus has going on I don’t know that series and I don’t vibe BUT. I have limits and boy did this series go beyond that because multiple episodes are dedicated to the sister being in love with the brother? And the brother returns her feelings but knows that they are wrong so he put everything he likes in his sister into his version of Alice who, of course, physically manifests as Arisu who he creates accidentally with his uh. Magic imagination powers. But again in both versions MC still ends up with his sister. Hey, at least the manga eventually said the boy was adopted when the sister was like, 3, so if nothing else no blood relations? The anime did not ad this. -_-

~Under Utilized Characters: Arisu’s gradual revelation that she has no childhood memories because she isn’t a real person is so interesting and they don’t do nothing with it but also? That’s the kind of thing I personally would love to dig into and Kagihime, while touching on this world shattering revelation, easily loops back to So Anyway She Should Fight For The Man and to hell with developing a life or personality outside of what has been written for her. The rest of the main 5 were 2 note characters which. Could be worse? The most interesting character ends up being the child genius who accidentally murdered her childhood bestie (and/or lover? depending on version) and her coming to terms with that (the friend is alive but the version changes how and why she thinks she’s dead). Then the villain has the motivation of ‘i lost my creativity and now have become an immortal living outside of normal space and am getting girls to fight each other because that’s like a story so I’m still relevant right?’. But shoutout to the anime for then taking death of the author literally. The numerous other girls are canon fodder outside of like. The manga version of the dead gf and the little match girl.

~Battle Royale: This is not a thing I have an issue with generally. Again, but Mai Hime fan, I need to read MGRP 11, BUT by not developing the non-main girls there is no emotional connection which makes them just canon fodder and that’s boring as sin for a royale system. The initial main character fights revolve so much around the MC guy being there that they fall flat, and the 2 or 3 final battles in both versions still feel without any stakes. Also for a royale thing most of the characters don’t actually die, which cool! Neat! Except when they do? Some nobodies and a somebody are murdered (at least in the manga) and the tone never feels like it’s supposed to be upping the stakes, it’s just. Some people are dead now. And do you want to guess which of the main characters died?

~Gays: Oh boy the best friend of the brother-complex sister is in love with her and (in the manga) dies. She does apparently get better for the last chapter but the death itself is only felt by the rest of the cast for a page or two before we go back to feeling sad big brother wants to kiss his mentally generated sister clone rather than his actual sister u_u. Bury your gays is nothing new, but I wonder if it was also intended to be justified because Guess Who Is Creepy and a bit Perverted? Oh look the lesbian keeps the used swimsuit of her beloved and manipulates events to get an indirect kiss and when she sees the sister trying to strange Arisu for a moment she decides to do it for the sister? It’s not good. You want bad gay rep in a magical girl series, well here ya go. We also had a nobody in the first(second?) episode whose story pages reveal her having a kiss with a girl, and then we also have the prodigy again and- in the manga- her. Uh. childhood lover who she thought she killed but the girl has been wiping her mind over and over so prodigy remembers ‘killing’ the friend and not the she’s alive so she can keep? fucking with her? Toxic!

~Sexual Content: But wait you say, you already covered fanservice! Ah but that is sexual content for titilation. This is sexual content for dramatic backstory! The red riding hood character was sexually assaulted, another character was manipulated into sex first as a teen and then more often to ‘get into the publishing industry’, and the same writer forces some aggressive kisses on the MC. None of it is gratuitous which is nice, but also, was it necessary? Not making a new point for this but read riding hood’s dog was also murdered so unnecessary animal death gets tossed on in there. 

~Male Lead: You can have a male, non magical character as the main character surrounded by magical girls. This is not how to do it. If I can make a vicious and hopefully not understood reference, Aruto is basically Tate from the Mai Hime Manga. If you understood that, I am so sorry. If you didn’t, congrats! Don’t read the manga. Or do and send me asks about the iconic final page of the first volume (18+). Anyway, this dude is boring, everything revolves around him, BUT I’ll be generous and say at least this isn’t a harem series? It looks like it out of context but it’s just a triangle with a fun attached scientist and token lesbian.

~Premise: They didn’t make good use of it. The initial goals of ‘take other girls pages from their soul books because if we get enough we unlock a third alice book’ is good! And then we add the twist that that was never going to happen and either if we get all the pages we can grant a wish, or these fights are just happening for the amusement of and asshole. Either way, yeah okay I guess. But at no point do we ever achieve this forbidden wish granting book and the asshole just. Lives. Nothing happens to him. His peers don’t even dunk on him. The only real changes from the beginning and the end of the series are: the siblings are now chill with dating, and the scientist lady won’t turn into a child in magical spaces. Oh. Yeah.

~Why did we make this adult a child sometimes?: I think we know why. Stop trying to get those types of folks to watch your already meh series. I also could have sworn at points in the past looking up images for this series I’ve seen extra art for Yuuri the Thumbelina-y Alice User that seemed like it would fit alongside anything by POP. You know, the Moetan guy. If you don’t know, god I wish that were me. 

Wrap Up: I have definitely forgotten some points and am well within my rights to ad to this whenever I remember more points but uh. Yeah.  

Listen you want an alice themed battle royale with nice outfits? Rozen maiden is right there. Battle Royale magical girl series that’s good with fanservice? Mai Hime. Series with different outfits while being based on a classic story? Pretear.

Hope anyone who read all of this at least got what I was saying, even if they don’t agree with it. And thanks for reading because whoops. 

[pixie-cocaine]

ATEEZ reaction to: Their S.O. getting other Male Idol's attention

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: angel, stfu before I shoot you with a love gun, I WILL DO THIS!! Oh and, I'm sorry it took like, 5 fuckin years or something to finish this. Bb has been really busy with Jiu-Jitsu classes and trying to perfect the moves, I hope you understand 🥺❤️

Songs Listened To: shower water lol (yes, I do write in the shower), Rachael - She Wants Revenge, Mind and Body - Ayelle, Streets - Doja Cat,

(also, very explicit/mature, so read at your own risk!!)

Hongjoong ♡:

• you don't wanna brag, but you'd been gaining quite the following from most male idols ever since your debut

• you, of course, would be very happy that your group, Mania, would be blowing up, but pretty iffy about the countless idols and fans shamelessly flirting with you

• it was always in the back of your head as you did radio shows and variety television

• the fact that your boyfriend was watching all of it

• it was pretty obvious with the way he gushed about how good you did once you got home to your apartment

• but, unsurprisingly, it got to a pushing point

• one day, while you were MCing for an awards show

• Johhny, one of NCT's rappers, had thrown a couple suggestive comments your way, playfully of course

• if only he knew about the narrowing eyes of Hongjoong who watched your surprised giggle through the screen

• oh bOY

• you'd get home, as per usual, and start taking off your makeup after changing into a simple shirt and shorts set

• after a minute, Hongjoong would appear behind you in the mirror

• after asking you the same questions about your day, and you giving the same old answers, you'd feel Hongjoong push his chest into your back and wrap his arms around your waist. His finger would be caressing the skin from beneath your shirt, and the noticeable nuzzle of his nose against your ear would pull your attention from drying your face.

• "Baby, is something wrong?"

• "Would you pick any other idol over me?"

• the question would catch you off guard of course, and you turn to face him with a frown

• "I wouldn't hesitate for one second. Joong, Is this about Johnny?"

• silence, your only answer being him pressing his face to your chin and forcing you to turn your head

• "Maybe..."

• y'all would end up fuckin on the counter haHAHA

• but afterwards it would be very cute and cuddly

• "It was a test, I knew you love me too muchhhhhh"

• bitch would be all over you lol

Seonghwa ♡:

• and y'all thought Joong's was long

• you always had that trait that drew people to you

• so it was no surprise that all attention was set on you once your group, Rougé, debuted

• it was overwhelming at times, you'd admit, but you grew to enjoy the attention, at least to a point

• and with the newfound fame, came the more frequent compliments from fellow idols

• male idols, to be specific

• handsome, male idols

• it still caught you off-guard when, while attending award ceremonies, you'd be seated next to yet another boy group

• and one of the members would smile your way, wait for you to throw a wave before looking away, and proceed to subtly check you out

• you'd be like, complete Pikachu face when your members would bring it up later

• but you'd always worry about how Seonghwa would feel about it, because his group was literally always just behind you

• he'd never really said anything about the way idols would shamelessly point out how short your skirt was that day, or compliment the sultry exposure of your collarbones

• just snickered to himself as he watched the episodes with your appearances

• he knew he had you wrapped around all five of his fingers, no questions asked

• but it was always a tic in the back of your mind

• gnawing at your conscience

• nonetheless, you began to, admittedly quite slowly, relax at the idea of playfully flirting with other male idols

• you'd dipped your toes in the water, while keeping an eye on Seonghwa's reaction

• calm water

• well..

• until the idols got a bit.. physical

• every once in a while when you made a joke, they'd feign obliviousness to how they fell into you as they laughed

• even you caught on that no, some of your jokes were not worth doubling over and putting a hand on your shoulder so that they didn't collapse

• it was one night after you'd gotten home from a weekly idol episode featuring ONEUS, did Seonghwa begin to show his steadily growing distaste for the way they so openly showcased the desire to bend you over the nearest surface

• You'd barely grazed the shower floor with your big toe when you heard the bathroom door open and close, signaling that someone, most-likely Seonghwa, had entered the room with you

• it was occasional that Hwa joined you in the showers without so much as a warning, not that you minded

• you were comfortable around Seonghwa. He made sure if it, especially with the way he encouraged you wearing revealing clothing so it would boost your self-esteem

• one glance to your right, through the patterned shower pannels, and you saw Hwa already discarding his clothes

• he slid in behind you without a word, as per usual, but almost immediately pressed his chest to your back, nosing along your shoulder and wrapping an arm across your waist

• "Do you like that other guys flirt with you?"

• you'd be really caught off guard

• like did he really just ask that lol

• you didn't really know what to say, so shocked at the question, only able to open and close your mouth like a suffocating fish

• he'd push you against the wall of the shower, a hand snaking between you to grip the back of your neck as he pressed his forehead against yours, not breaking contact

• "Answer me when I'm asking you a question," he'd utter, words teetering on sounding like both a growl and a hiss

• "Of course not, Seonghwa. You really think I'd throw our relationship away for some pretty boys?"

• your knees would almost buckle at the smirk that replaced his once stone-cold face, thumb moving to glide across your lower lip before being replaced with his own

• you'd melt into the kiss, sighing into his mouth at the way he nibbled at your lip playfully

• he'd pull away when you were literally about to risk it all lmao

• "Mm, that's my girl," he'd say, licking his lips

• and begin showering like nothing happened

• ugh this man

Yunho ♡:

• Ever since you'd started dating Yunho, which was approximately a year ago, you'd become someone you never thought you would

• he pushed you to do things you would normally scoff and roll your eyes at

• and that's how you ended up in your freshly blossoming girl group, Eclyps.

• yes, being the visual of the group was hard, but the positive reactions from media and new fans was enough to overshadow any pressure

• too bad that didn't apply to the visual uncomfort of your boyfriend when other male idols began to take a particular liking to you

• the attraction was always there in every glance they sent your way, and you'd have to blind to not notice the way they subtly licked their lips whenever they caught a glimpse of you bending over slightly when it came to physical games

• one night, you'd been cuddled up on Yunho on the couch as he flicked through the variety shows

• he'd stopped and watched the one you'd been in that day, a new episode on Hello Counselor, and of course it had to include a member of Stray Kids

• halfway through, a counselor asked the member of Stray Kids, Minho, what his ideal type was

• he explained not the appearance, but the qualities of the type he liked, and when he was finished, everyone began to say that he pointed out all the traits you had

• he didn't deny it, but he also tried to steer the conversation away from him

• it was an awkward situation for you at the time

• you'd been spacing out for the most part as Yunho kept watching, but one glance up, and you could see the tension in his shoulders

• you shuffled closer to bury your face in the crook of his neck so you could get his attention

• he'd give it to you, but something in his eyes told you he needed reassurance, something to let him know that he was the one you wanted

• slowly, your hands cupped his cheeks, warm beneath your fingers, and you'd lean in to kiss him

• The kiss spoke for you

• all the times he'd woken up to catch you staring at him with such soft eyes, endless amounts of such adoration in the way your pupils dilated at the mere sight of his gorgeous features. The night's he came home stressed and eyes droopy from countless hours overworked, looking for you as soon as he walked through the door, then finding you waiting by a drawn bath, complete with bubbled water and steam. And how could he forget the beautiful memories of cooking breakfast together? Your beautiful laughter ringing throughout the house and filling his chest with a golden light that had him grinning from ear to ear.

• he was yours, and you were his. That was something that would never change

• when you pulled away, he'd tenderly caress your side with gentle fingers

• "I love you," he'd mumble

• you'd melt at the way he was full heart eyes at you

• "I love you, too"

(so soft UwU)

Yeosang ♡:

• mmm, yeosang eh?

• ok, this might be kinda off, but that's because I've never rlly seen our droneboy mad or jelly. Imma just go off of guesses 🤷🏽‍♀️

• it took you and your group a minute to actually get a following, but after the hours of tears and sweat, it paid off when you were put on the latest episode of King Of Mask Singer

• you were all the rage at the time, and like fresh faces do in newfound fame, you got some attention

• especially from the male idols

• it was a couple idols in particular that made it a point to try and talk to you whenever you saw them at award ceremonies and such, and because of it, dating rumors began to arise

• of course you denied them, and it helped a little bit, but there were always people who would tease you about seeing EXO's Chanyeol

• in turn, it began to make you anxious about your actual boyfriend, who you knew would occasionally look up the shows you appeared on

• it never really seemed to bother him, you realised

• if anything, he kind of encouraged the idea of you getting more positive attention of all kinds, as long as you showed no discomfort

• you kept on worrying though, until one morning, before you left to go to yet another variety show featuring your group, LUKKI, and a boy group, VIXX, you brought it up as you got dressed

• Yeosang sat on the bed in front of you, scrolling on his phone and shifting his position every once in a while

• you looked at him through your closet mirror

• "Yeosang?"

• he glanced up, "Yes?"

• "Does it... Bother you that other guys try and flirt with me?"

• he smiled, trying to hold back a laugh, but failing when he saw you pout

• "It's not funny! I'm serious"

• and that's when he'd sigh before getting up to stand behind you

• you were wearing a dress at the time, so it was quite easy for him to tug at the black strap at your shoulder and let it fall, doing the same to the other and watching as the silky fabric slid from your body with an odd grace

• you held your breath, staring at him in the mirror, and almost letting out an audible gasp when you saw the way his gaze bored back into yours

• you felt one finger trace the underside of your brassiere

• he drew a line from your right breast to the column of your throat, then it finally rested against your bottom lip

• "No other lips will touch these ones as long as I'm here," he mumbled

• he continued back down to your chest, cupping the soft flesh in his palm and squeezing it gently

• "No other hand will touch this chest"

• then to your hips

• "No other arm with wrap around these hips. Especially not this waist"

• and before you could predict what he'd do next, his hand moved to the inner of your thighs, then very slowly, tapping at your heat through your panties

• "And no other pair of eyes will ever see this beautiful delicacy of mine, hm?"

• he flicked at the top, hard, making you jolt and suck in a breath

• "So no, I'm not too worried about it. You're mine, and you know that. If you ever forget, I have no problem reminding you."

• a shiver ran down your spine, earning a smile from Yeosang before he backed away and reclaimed his spot on the bed

• "Anyways, you're running late"

• "SHIT!"

San ♡:

• San had always been one who was protective over you

• had a weird look in his eye whenever someone he didn't particularly like hugged or touched you in any way

• so when your group, Helix, debuted and almost immediately launched off in the kpop scene, he began to remind you that if anything happened, that he had no problem curb-stomping people

• you'd reassured him that even if something did happen, it wasn't worth going to jail for

• he'd reluctantly laid off since

• but he still liked to watch reruns of episodes with you in them together and point out how cute you looked

• he would always get quiet when someone flirted with you, though

• always

• as time passed, your own concern ate away at you, and eventually, you caved

• "San, you've been acting weird. What's wrong?"

• you twisted in his hold so that you were facing him

• it felt like all the air drained from your lungs

• it was like staring danger dead-on. His eyes held an unidentifiable emotion, icy as they focused on you. His jaw clenched, and you'd be damned if his teeth didn't crack under the power of it.

• your mind seemingly blanked of all it's previous knowledge on the English language, and you gaped at him like you'd just seen a ghost

• you flinched when he began to sit up

• "Turn around."

• was all he gave you

• you don't think you've ever moved so fast in your life

• once your back was facing him, you could feel his hands take purchase on your hips as he lifted you into his lap, making sure to spread your thighs in the process

• "Now," he began

• his index finger traced the waistband of your shorts, raising goosebumps across your skin in it's wake. Slowly, he hooked a thumb inside both your shorts and underwear before yanking them down, over your knees, and off

• he splayed his hand across your stomach, just above your center, and leaned in to trace the shell of your ear with his nose, slowly, with delicate, measured brushes.

• "I want you to tell me how it feels when other men flirt with you. Can you do that for me, baby?"

• your head nodded frantically upon hearing the request, "Yes, San."

• San cooed, massaging the bump of flesh above your panty line, admiring the softness of your tummy before trailing down further until you could feel him swirl a digit around your clit, making your shake slightly

• "It makes me feel w-weird," you stumble over your words slightly when San presses harder against your heat

• "Keep going," he encourages

• you'd take a deep breath, and go on to tell him that you'd get a big clammy and nervous. How each time it happened, you'd be silently screaming at yourself that San was watching, and that you felt awkward. You'd stutter this out, all the while San began to rub you into ecstacy, making you cum for each time Idol's would flirt with you

• ahhh, what jealousy can result in

Mingi ♡:

Sorry if this is short, I'm low-key running out of ideas lmao

• Mingi was your biggest cheerleader

• that much was clear when he threw a mini party for you when your rookie group, NΣRO, debuted and got a boost of Fame from one of your covers of a song

• so of course he would be the one to vote for your group in award shows, cheer you on when you went to practice or were performing, and everything else you could ever imagine in a supportive boyfriend

• the only thing that put him off a bit, was the way you'd gotten closer to some of the other idols

• well..

• other male idols

• he wasn't about to accuse you of cheating just because you'd befriended other guys, but it did make him uncomfortable when they began to get more affectionate with you

• of course you noticed this

• "Mingi-ah?"

• two big doe eyes looked up at you from under the blankets, the familiar tuft of fluffy hair peeking out as the fabric slid off of his head slightly

• he stared at you, waiting, and you realized this was his way of acknowledging your beckon

• "What's on your mind lately?"

• your hand idly moved to the tresses of his hair, watching with a fond gaze as he lowed his chin back onto your stomach

• "Nothing much"

• "Nothing much? How about my appearances on TV?"

• you knew he shrugged by the temporary raise of the covers, sighing through his nose when thinking about it

• "Baby, if you aren't comfortable with the flirting, I have no problem subtly shutting it down," you spoke softly, eyes trailing over the smooth contours of Mingi's face. God, he was beautiful

• "I don't want you to think you can't have fun, I don't mind playful banter," you waited for him to cough it up, "but I don't like when they touch you."

• you smile at the way his red lips form into an unconscious pout

• "What you want, is what you get"

Wooyoung ♡:

• honestly?

• he couldn't care less

• the relationship you two have is damn-near impenetrable

• literally you guys are solid as a rock, nothing can break it

• and because you have such a strong bond, things like flirting with other people without any intention of getting to know them truly, doesn't spark jealousy like it would for others

• you weren't the jealous type in general. You thought it was pretty pathetic to get pissy over boys. After all, if they didn't bother to ask what you were and weren't ok with in the first place before going and flirting, why waste your time?

• Wooyoung would smile when he saw you wink at the other members of your group, Q2

• wouldn't necessarily enjoy seeing you play around with other male idols, but would understand it's nothing more than a friendship at most

Jongho ♡:

•my heart's gonna burst 😭

• so, babie, in general, is a very unsure boy

• he doesn't know how to put himself out there, and he's shy a lot of the time if we take away the people he's comfortable around

• he's insecure about how well of a boyfriend he is to you, and it shows when you tell him you love him

• you never meant to have to do a variety challenge with Jinyoung (got7) but that's just how it ended up happening

• it was a game of pepero, and he was automatically chosen for you, much to your hesitation

• he got halfway before you pulled back out of panic, and even as everyone began to tease you for it, all you could think of was Jongho's hurt face

• you were right to be worried, because when you got home, he was already nestled up in bed

• he never went to bed without you

• "Jongho?"

• he stirred, but stayed asleep

• you only attempted to wake him up after you'd slipped beneath the covers as well, and by then, he'd already cracked his eyes open at the sound of your shuffling

• "Baby, look at me"

• he would

• "I know you watched my group's episode on Idol Room"

• his eyes flicked to the pillow you rested your arm on

• you scooted closer to him so that his face was mere inches from yours, hand coming up to caress the fullness of his cheeks, which he couldn't help but melt into, even if his attitude said otherwise

• "I want you to know that it was just a matter of playing the game, baby. I had no say in the situation, and you know that"

• he nodded slowly before curling his head into your chest

• the two of you didn't address it again, and you know that he didn't say anything because it was his natural way of dealing with anxiety

• he loves you, and you love him. He knows that UwU

(can you tell I gave up lmao)

[cherry-valentine]

Fall 2020 Anime Season:

Golden Kamuy Season 3 is, so far, just as good as the first two seasons. For anyone unfamiliar with the show, it follows a former soldier called “Immortal Sugimoto” (nicknamed so for his tendency to survive a lot of shit that would kill most people) and a young Ainu (the Japanese equivalent of Native Americans) girl as they search Northern Japan (and even parts of Russia) for hidden Ainu gold. The story is pretty wild, with threats coming from the wildlife and the harsh, snowy conditions as often as from mercenaries, assassins, and various other human dangers. The cast has expanded enough that we have several separate groups of cool, well-written characters roaming about (and they’ve shuffled a bit from season two, making their interactions very interesting). Sugimoto remains one of my favorite anime protagonists. He’s one of the more brutal, violent main characters I’ve seen, but, strangely, also one of the nicest. He’s kind to innocents (both people and animals) but will slaughter his enemies without hesitation. He’s also pretty funny. Then again, almost every character is subject to the show’s weird but endearing humor. It’s very hard to dislike any character, even the ones who are quite cruel. The show is also notable for having a lot of homoerotic subtext. The beefy, handsome men sure do love taking their clothes off and wrestling. Like, taking it ALL off. Multiple times per season. Yeah. Watch this show, everybody.

Ikebukuro West Gate Park is a new show this season that I was initially interested in because it reminded me of Durarara!! in that it’s set in Ikebukuro and features color gangs. That’s where the similarities end, however. Whereas Durarara!! had tons of supernatural elements and just plain craziness, IWGP is more realistic by comparison. The show follows Makoto, a seemingly normal guy who seems to function in a sort of “odd jobs” type of role for a color gang called the G Boys. While they’re a gang, they don’t seem like criminals or thugs, or even delinquents. They really feel more like a club, held together by their respect for the leader referred to as King. So far the series seems to be episodic in nature, with most stand-alone episodes focusing on some sort of social issue, from drug addiction to immigration. It’s interesting to see these issues presented in such a sympathetic light, viewed through the lens of Tokyo’s youth. The art is nice, with varied character designs and animation that’s just good enough that you don’t notice the problems very often. The music is a highlight, with my favorite opening theme of the season and one of the better ending themes.

Magatsu Wahrheit is a show I was very iffy on at first. It has a lot of things working against it. It’s based on a video game I’ve never heard of, the opening theme is one of the cheapest, most unimpressive things I’ve ever seen (note: it does improve a few episodes in!), and the series overall has a low budget feel (though nowhere near as bad as Gibiate from last season). But the story is actually very interesting and very well written. The basic premise is that Young Man A (I’m not remembering these weird names, sorry) works as a delivery truck driver in your usual “modern fantasy” setting (kingdoms and monsters and other medieval fantasy trappings alongside trucks and cars and advanced science laboratories). When he’s loading up his deliveries, Young Man B, a fresh recruit in the kingdom’s military and general goody-two-shoes, randomly offers to help Young Man A load his truck. Young Man B spots some boxes off to the side and, assuming they were part of the load, puts them into the truck while Young Man A is talking to his boss. These boxes turn out to be illegal weapons being smuggled by a group of... freedom fighters? I guess? This, in turn, drags Young Man A into a shit storm of trouble when the illegal weapons are discovered in his truck. It also leads directly to tragedy for Young Man B as well, setting them both on wildly different but similarly dangerous paths. The whole idea that a simple act of kindness for a stranger sets off such a terrible series of events is pretty engaging. As it stands in the show right now, Young Man A is the more compelling character. He’s just a truck driver. He’s a coward who runs from danger and wants no part of any of this. But at the same time, he can be surprisingly brave at times (usually when a child is in danger). In a twist on the usual trope, these spurts of bravery are rarely rewarded. At least twice, his decision to act has led to heartbreaking tragedy. So far Young Man B is your typical “idealistic youth realizing the military isn’t comprised entirely of nice people” type of character. As such, he’s just not as interesting. He hasn’t had as much screen time though, so hopefully he’ll grow as a character. I guess it says a lot that I’ve written so much about the show, and almost all of it is about the plot. But the plot is really the only remarkable thing about it. In this case, that’s enough.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni is, well, a bit of a trainwreck. And I’m not necessarily talking about the quality of the show. Let me explain: The show was marketed as a remake of the 2006 anime, which was one of my all-time favorite series. I was pretty excited about it. Lots of new fans who had never watched the original started this one. The first episode was okay. I wasn’t crazy about how shiny everything looked (I realize the original’s visuals are a bit dated now but at least they were unique, this new one looks like pretty much every harem anime from the past five years) but the story seemed to be doing good and I looooooved the use of the original opening theme song as the closer. Then episode two dropped, and the fandom basically exploded. The first few minutes of episode two reveal that this is not a remake, but a sequel! Shock! At first, I was impressed by this little bit of manipulation. It felt exciting to realize the truth. But then it dawned on me (and the rest of the fandom) that new viewers who came to watch this were screwed over. Those first few minutes of episode two spoil some very important things from the original series (we’re talking major spoilers here), and it’s going to ruin a lot of plot points for those who never watched the original and now want to go back and watch it first. So here’s a PSA: If you’re new to Higurashi and want to try this new series, DON’T unless you’re okay with watching a sequel that spoils the original.

Okay, so now let’s talk about this new series/sequel. First, the good points: The ending theme is GORGEOUS. Just... go watch it. Soak it up. The opening isn’t bad but I can’t help comparing it to the far superior original opening. Aside from the overly shiny and generic character designs, the rest of the visuals are pretty great. The scenery in particular is very nice. In terms of story, I like the idea of beginning each new “arc” by staying close to the original story, then throwing in some pretty wild deviations that make them end in completely different ways because a character that lived through the original is trying to make subtle changes (that so far have ended up turning out very badly). When it comes to the bad points, one in particular sticks out: It’s not scary! The original had some truly unsettling moments, and so far this one hasn’t even been creepy. It’s had some moments that obviously tried to be scary but have failed miserably. For example, the early scenes with Rena in the original were actually terrifying. But I felt none of the intensity or creepiness in this sequel. Still, it’s nice to see these characters again and to see how this story deviates as someone tries desperately to change the outcomes.

Haikyuu!! has another new season and... I don’t really know what to say about it. I’ve talked about this show several times now. Looks like this season is going to focus primarily on one long match, a concept I’m not crazy about. They also made the baffling decision to cut in with a full episode about a rival team’s match right in the middle of showing the match with the main team. I mean I love seeing more of the rival teams but it felt disjointed to do it this way. Still yet, it’s a fun and energetic show full of great characters and easily understood volley ball matches.

Jujutsu Kaisen is probably the most hyped up new show this season, and I would say it definitely deserves that hype. It’s a pretty familiar shounen fighting anime setup: A teenage boy acquires special powers and joins a school to train so that he can use those powers for good. However, following that formula does little to negate just how fun and well-done this series is. A lot of people have compared it to Naruto (the protagonist is a vessel for a powerful entity, he joins a trio of characters with a more serious and moody black-haired boy and a chick, and they have a badass teacher with silver hair who keeps his face partially covered). So sure, it’s like Naruto... except it’s much better than Naruto in every conceivable way. The animation and fight choreography are consistently fantastic. The main character is not the least bit annoying. The only chick in the group (there are more cool ladies in the story, just not in this group!) is a badass in her own right and her story and motivations have absolutely nothing to do with romantic interest in any of the guys. Even the teacher character is incredibly fun. The music is great, with my favorite ending theme of the season. You know it’s an excellent ending theme when people start making different versions of it using characters from other shows. It’s so, well, fun. A word I keep using here, because that’s the first word that comes to mind when I’m watching this series.

Talentless Nana is one of those shows that’s going to be difficult for me to talk about without spoiling a very cool surprise. This surprise comes at the end of episode one (basically, the show makes you think it’s about something, but turns out it’s about something completely different). So if you want to really enjoy that surprise, stop reading this and go watch episode one before coming back. If you’ve already watched it or don’t mind having the surprise spoiled, here we go: The first episode sets up the series to be a cheap Boku no Hero Academia knock-off. We have a school of “talented” (super powered) kids training to use their powers to save humanity from (so far) unseen monsters referred to as “the enemies of humanity”. We are told one boy has no “talent” or special power and he’s ridiculed for this. There’s a new transfer student named Nana, a super sweet and cheerful girl with pink hair who has the ability to read minds. There’s also another transfer student, a sullen and quiet boy named Kyouya who hasn’t disclosed what his “talent” is. With that setup, I think a lot of people were ready to dismiss it as “BNHA, but not as good”. But then, a few minutes before the first episode ends, we’re hit with the twist that reveals what this show is really about: Nana is the one with no “talent”. She lied about being able to read minds (the boy we thought had no talent did actually have one). She’s a totally normal human being, and she has been sent to infiltrate the school and kill off the students, the true “enemies of humanity” (called so because their powers make them incredibly dangerous). Thus, the show is about a normal human girl using only her wits and skill in manipulation to kill off super-powered individuals. Watching her work is an absolute delight. She is ruthless and incredibly intelligent, but she does have one major problem: the other transfer student Kyouya, who is at least as smart as she is and is suspicious of her right off the bat. But since he’s not sure she’s up to no good, he can’t really act on his suspicions. Nana in turn knows he suspects her, so she has to be careful around him. As a result, the two become “friends”, constantly watching and outmaneuvering each other. In this way, the series reminds me of the early, best parts of Death Note, with the mental sparring between Light and L. But the most fun you’ll have with this show is watching Nana come up with ways to deal with each new “talent” she comes across, from the ability to time travel to necromancy, all while having no special power of her own. The art is nice, a bit generic, nothing too fancy. The music is great, with one of the better opening themes this season.

Moriarty the Patriot focuses on the classic Sherlock antagonist Professor Moriarty. Let me get this out of the way first: I know next to nothing about Sherlock. I haven’t even watched any of the various tv shows about him. What I know of the character basically comes from mentions of him in Detective Conan. So I’m coming into this series with no preconceived notions about these characters and no other versions to compare them to. Anyway, Moriarty as a series is about class warfare. Moriarty as a character pretty much embodies the phrase “eat the rich”. If you’re familiar with the phrase and understand its meaning, you’ll probably like this show. Moriarty works as a professor, but his side job is as a “Crime Consultant”. He helps the poor lower classes get revenge on the cruel nobles and elites who have wronged them. This revenge most often involves murder. There’s something refreshing about how unapologetic it is. In most anime, the hero tries to find other ways to punish evil than by actually killing them, or there’s some lesson involved about how revenge isn’t the answer or how killing someone who wronged you makes you as bad as them. In this series, there’s absolutely none of that. People get their revenge and, so far as I’ve watched, seem to be living much happier lives afterwards. In this way the show totally avoids being preachy. The art is gorgeous, with classy character designs and lovely backgrounds. There’s a certain lushness to it. The music is very nice as well (particularly that poppy ending theme). The only downside is that this has probably ruined me for watching other versions of these characters now. I mean, once you see them as sexy anime pretty boys, it’s hard to see them as anything else.

Carry Over Shows From Previous Seasons:

Black Clover

Best of Season:

Best New Show: Jujutsu Kaisen

Best Opening Theme: Ikebukuro West Gate Park

Best Ending Theme: Jujutsu Kaisen

Best New Male Character: Moriarty (Moriarty the Patriot)

Best New Female Character: Nana (Talentless Nana)

[just-my-sickly-pride]

In the Wings || John Deacon x Reader

summary || your official job, as a queen roadie, was to help backstage during a concert. your unofficial job, as someone who the bassist john deacon had taken a shining to, was to help backstage during a concert in a very particular way.

rating || explicit (18+). do not read if you are under eighteen. oral sex (m receiving), slight degradation kink, pretty much public sex (although there’s no exhibition kink). i guess there would be an age gap, but it’s not really explored or explained.

word count || 4.1k

author’s notes || so i finally was able to watch rock montreal yesterday, for the first time, and i adored it, obviously. through our conversations in the discord, i learnt what actually went on backstage during concerts (would you believe i genuinely had no idea), and i was inspired. some of the details about the concert might be a bit iffy as i just had to go off memory as whatever research i could find. this one goes out to katie @anotheronebitesthedeaks​, who works tirelessly to provide as much deacy content as she can. i hope this one does you proud, katie!

masterlist

     The adrenaline was pumping. Really pumping. If the hammering heartbeats of everyone inside the arena – assistants, roadies, lighting and sound operators, pyrotechnics, performers (yes, especially the performers) – could be converted into power, you could have probably run an entire city.

    Tonight’s concert was being filmed. You didn’t know much about cameras, but you knew it was apparently all very impressive. Really high quality.

    Rehearsals hadn’t gone all that smoothly. It was the nearing the end of the tour, which meant that, fifty percent of the time, Queen were all at each other’s throats, and for the other fifty, they were inseparable. Well, maybe more like sixty-forty. Or seventy-thirty. Maybe seventy-five-twenty-five, considering that they were almost in the midst of putting together another album. Which, if the screaming matches you’d overhead last week were anything to go by, was proving to be a particularly gruelling one.

    But if there was one thing that drew the band members back together in solidarity, it was having a common enemy – tonight’s director and producer, Saul Swimmer.

    Your official job, as a roadie, was to help backstage with anything that the guys might need whenever they left the stage. Water, snacks, new picks or drumsticks, alcohol, a towel, backup guitars, outfit changes. So you heard everything during rehearsals, when they were interrupted time and time again by Swimmer, calling for camera positions to be changed or sound levels to be shifted. He even had the gall to try to tell Freddie where to stand, which Freddie promptly shut down with a swift, I’ll go wherever I fucking want, darling, I’ll sit on Roger’s drums if I feel like it.

    Roger had tried to hide his laugh, but his mic had still been on from before, and it had echoed throughout the arena, which had made Freddie burst into a cackle. Brian had smiled. John had swung around to face away from the other three, his head tilted back, looking ready to murder.

    John had seen you in the wings, and had gestured to you with an impatient hand.

    You’d known what that meant. You’d grabbed the glass of whiskey and ginger ale you’d had ready-made to go, and had hurried out onto the stage to hand it to him.

    It had felt awfully naked to be on stage. Even with no audience members, you’d never felt more exposed. You’d found it hard to breathe, like you hadn’t dare take in any more oxygen than you deserved.

    You had no idea how they did it every night, perform on that stage in front of all those people, for weeks on end. You would’ve given up long ago.

    But you’d waited dutifully while John had taken a few gulps of the drink, your hands nervously balled into fists at your side. He’d barely looked at you, which you’d expected.

    “Oh, he’s getting a drink,” Freddie had said loudly from the front of the stage. “Come on, dear, we’re all waiting for you.”

    John had scowled, shotted the remainder of the drink, grimacing, and then he’d shoved the glass back into your hands, and you’d rushed off stage again while he’d retaken his place.

    You’d taken the glass backstage and had poured another whiskey ginger ale, in case it was needed.

    You’d taken a moment to breathe slowly and deeply a few times, willing your heart rate to slow.

    A fellow roadie had paused to ask, “You all right?”

    You’d nodded. “I’m fine,” you’d said.

    “Did John say something to you?”

    You’d frowned. “What?”

    The roadie had shrugged. Rick, you’d thought his name was. “Just saw you hand a drink out to him. I know he can be a bit of a dick sometimes. I’m sure he’s just pissed off or whatever, he wouldn’t have meant whatever he said.”

    Rick had given you a firm pat on the shoulder, and had left.

    But that hadn’t been the problem at all.

    John Deacon could be a dick sometimes, sure. A complete asshole, if the mood struck him.

    But, Jesus Christ, he was a hot one. And the fact that he clearly didn’t give a shit about you somehow made him even hotter.

-

    You were watching him now, as he moved across the stage. During songs he was always switched on, focused, his eyes often closed as he hopped and bopped to the music. Between songs, his gait switched to almost a lope, his head hanging either forward or back, his chest heaving, his bass hanging loosely across his body.

    He seemed extra fiery tonight, as did everyone else, which was undoubtedly influenced by the cameras. They were performers, after all, and you weren’t surprised that they all played a little harder, a little faster, a little sexier, when they knew that tonight they were being made immortal, eternalised on tape.

    But there was something about John, specifically, more than the other three. You couldn’t take your eyes off him. The intensity of every note he played, his gaze on the crowd or on Freddie or on his bass, made your stomach flutter with butterflies. The lighting made his jawline look like it could cut glass, turned his profile into that of a marble statue of a Roman god. His hands looked huge on his guitar, his fingers moving with precision.

    He radiated power. You hoped tonight was one of those nights where you fulfilled your less-than-official roadie job.

    It was an open secret that bands like Queen used whatever spare time they had backstage to get off. John’s favourite time to do so was during Roger’s and Brian’s solos; you were his go-to. You couldn’t believe your ears the first time he’d propositioned you, but you had been more than happy to help.

    It was never more than a backstage blowjob or handjob, though. There was never enough time for an actual fuck – although John had made it clear in the past that, for once, it pissed him off that Brian’s solos weren’t even longer – and he’d never returned the favour.

    You weren’t all that fond of that part. You had to admit that it absolutely turned you on being used and then abandoned, left to catch your breath and clean yourself up while John snatched his bass from someone’s hands and re-entered the stage, but it would have been nice to receive something in return every once in a while. At least a real proper fucking after the show.

    But that was the way of the world, you supposed. And your blowjob skills had grown exponentially since the tour had started. Which you weren’t sure you should have been proud of, but you were.

    “Drum solo’s about to start,” you heard someone say, and your stomach flipped.

    The song drew to a close, and then stage went dark. John and Freddie immediately turned on their heels and ducked into the wings as lights came up on Roger and his solo began.

    Everyone worked quietly and efficiently. You handed a towel and bottle of water to Freddie while someone else took John’s bass at his request. “John,” you said, catching his attention. When his eyes met yours, everything you were about to say left your head completely, and you could have melted into a puddle right then and there.

    But it didn’t matter – as soon as he realised it was you, he said, “There you are,” and grabbed your hand, towing you away from everyone else, heading towards the stairs.

    It took a moment to register, but when it did, your whole body grew hot, as hot as John’s skin against yours. The leftover anger and frustration from earlier in the afternoon, the excitement and rush of performing for the cameras, the exhaustion and desperation that came with being so close to the end of a months-long tour – you could feel every part of it through the grip of John’s hand.

    “Your shirt,” you blurted out, as John pulled to a stop. You were on the first landing of the stairs – far enough from everyone else that there was the semblance of privacy, but not far enough that John would be too far away from the stage.

    It wasn’t really that private at all, though. There were people mere metres away from you, at the top of the stairs. But they knew what was happening, and politely began to shuffle away.

    John was already yanking his jeans open, and he gave you a baffled – and slightly irritated – look. “What?”

    “I was going to ask if you wanted to change your shirt,” you explained. “Before.”

    “No,” John said bluntly, unzipping his fly and shoving his jeans down. “Obviously not.”

    “Right, of course, sorry,” you stammered, and dropped to the floor, sitting on your heels, your hands fumbling against his as you both worked his tight jeans and underwear down just past his ass. He was already slightly hard, and you hastily took him in your hand and swallowed him down.

    He breathed out sharply, his hand slipping into your hair, and you closed your eyes to focus on your job, your tongue sliding around the head of his cock, over the vein on the underside of the shaft, working quickly. You felt him beginning to swell in your mouth, and his body shifted in response. It was impossible to ignore how much it turned you on to feel it, to hear him react to everything you did.

    It didn’t take long at all for him to be fully hard in your mouth – he must have been particularly worked up tonight – and you blew him fast and hard, as fast and hard as he’d been playing on stage. He was big, but you were used to that, and you used your hand to pump whatever your mouth couldn’t reach, every so often reaching down to fondle his balls in your hand, squeezing them a little. Your other hand gripped the back of his thigh, feeling the muscles tense, and it made you desperately want him to fuck you. Fuck you for real, feeling his cock stretch you out, feeling his hands all over your body, his mouth on your clit.

    “Fuck,” he grunted, his hand tight in your hair. You felt his other hand rest on your cheek, and you adjusted to let the head of his cock press against the inside of your cheek whenever you took him in so he could feel it.

    “Open,” he said. “Open your eyes, lemme…”

    You did so, blinking up at him. The look on his face made you want to touch yourself, give yourself some relief from the throbbing arousal coursing through your body. You suckled at his head for a moment before sliding him down into your mouth again, and he moaned, low and deep. His hips bucked forward, making you gag, tears springing into your eyes.

    You knew he liked the sound of you gagging, but you couldn’t do it too many times without starting to genuinely feel sick. You shifted your position, going up onto your knees to change the angle, and took a few steadying breaths before sliding your mouth down onto him, far enough that you gagged, and then drew back again. Saliva filled your mouth, collecting at the corners of your lips.

    “Shit, yes, that’s it, take me all the way in,” John panted. “Gag on my cock, fuck.”

    You moaned around him, and did it again, keeping as much eye contact as you could, and you felt his knees just about buckle.

    You blinked the tears from your eyes, feeling them trickle down your cheeks, and continued sucking him off. You could feel yourself beginning to drool, but you let it happen, knowing that it made you look like a mess but not even caring. You could hear Roger’s solo drawing to a close. You didn’t have much time left, and John couldn’t exactly waltz onto stage with an erection. Especially not tonight.

    You doubled your efforts, the scream of Brian’s guitar spurring you on. You knew John was getting close from how his back shifted against the wall, and he kept letting his head drop back to hit the bricks, his breathing growing heavier and heavier, his other hand gripping his own hair.

    His hand began pushing the back of your head, and you concentrated on breathing through your nose, closing your eyes again, letting him fuck your mouth. Your hand still massaged his balls every now and again, and you gagged a couple more times, making him groan through gritted teeth.

    You opened your eyes again to look at him, and he was watching you, his mouth hanging open. You wanted to kiss him, bite and nip at his lips, suck on them.

    “God, I wanna f– fuck you,” he growled. “Bet your cunt’s just as wet and – ngh – tight as your mouth, shit.” His head fell back against the bricks again, and your stomach clenched.

    Do it, you wanted to say. God, I need you to.

    But instead you just took him in again and again, feeling him twitch in your mouth, and within no time at all he was groaning out, “I’m fucking coming, I’m coming,” and his hips jerked and he spilled into your mouth, his body shaking.

    You swallowed, and drew him into your mouth a few more times, emptying him completely, cleaning him up, and then you were helping him to get stage-ready again with frantic hands, pulling up his underwear and jeans, tucking him in.

    He did up his fly and the button on his jeans, and then he was throwing you a quick, “Cheers,” and bolting up the stairs, leaving you on the floor, your breathing ragged.

    You heard Roger’s drums join Brian’s solo, and you knew John was going to make it on stage just in the nick of time.

    Someone hurried past you, heading down the stairs, and you mumbled out, “Sorry,” shifted out of the way. You kept your head low as you tidied yourself up, wiping your eyes and cheeks dry and making sure there was no come or saliva on your mouth or chin, or on your clothes.

    You were still aching with need, still soaking between your thighs. But that was part of the gig, and you were used to it.

    You cleared your throat and wobbled to your feet. You could feel a couple of eyes on you as you made your way back to your spot in the wings, but most of the crew were used to seeing you looking dishevelled partway through a concert. The familiar coil of embarrassment still burned in your gut, but it was eased somewhat when someone surreptitiously passed you a bottle of water. You nodded in thanks and poured about half of it down your throat.

    John did have a few more exits, but none of them any longer than a few seconds. He barely acknowledged you, apart from summoning a shot of whiskey or vodka. To an outsider, it would have been impossible to know that his dick had been in your mouth less than an hour before. It drove you crazy. Even just being near him muddled your brain.

    Again, all part of the gig. By now, the other roadies expected you to be much less helpful after you had disappeared with John.

    Then came the Bohemian Rhapsody break. The sound cue slid in perfectly, blasting the operatic section while all four band members scrambled off stage. Freddie dropped to the floor and yanked off his shoes, declaring that they were giving him blisters and he was done with the fucking things. You shared an uneasy glance with another roadie, but then John’s hand was wrapping around your elbow and he was towing you away.

    You stumbled, and John let you go. You follow him without another word, hurrying along behind him, baffled. This break was almost exactly only one minute long – you were good, but you weren’t made of magic. Especially not after John had already come tonight.

    “John, what’s going on?” you said. You were somewhere else now, somewhere dark, in a corner. “We don’t have time–”

    John pulled up to a sudden stop, and whirled around, taking you by the shoulders, guiding you against the wall. He kissed you without warning, roughly.

    You and John didn’t kiss much. It really only happened when you were pulling him off, and he preferred your mouth on his cock rather than your hand.

    But you didn’t even hesitate in kissing him back. He kissed you with urgency, one hand tangling in your hair and the other on your hip, drawing a whimper from you. You clutched him around his back. His shirt was damp with sweat, his body running hot, but you didn’t care.

    He drew back enough just to say, “Jeans.”

    You immediately went to unbutton his jeans. But he stopped you with a hand.

    “No,” he said. “Yours.”

    “What?” you said, the word coming out in a squeak. This was completely new.

    “We don’t have much time,” John said quickly, going for your jeans himself.

    But you stopped his hands. “No, wait,” you said.

    “What, don’t you want me to?” John said.

    You stammered, shaking your head, and managed to get out, “Want you to what, John?”

    “Finger you.”

    “W–” You shook your head again. “Well, yes, but–”

    Someone called John’s name, and he sighed in frustration. “Whatever,” he muttered, and went to leave.

    But you grabbed his arm. “Hey.”

    He turned back to you. “What?” he said. “I have to go.”

    “You wanna do something new with me, you ask me first,” you said firmly. “You don’t just assume I want it and go for it. I might get you off every other night, but I’m not your fucktoy.”

    He stared you, as if surprised you’d spoken up like that, but then he said, “You’re right. Sorry. Wasn’t thinking.”

    You nodded, and let your hand drop from his arm. “That’s all,” you said, crossing your arms. “Go, you’re gonna miss your cue.”

    John took one more moment to drink you in, an unreadable expression on his face, and then he was gone.

    Your hands shook. You couldn’t believe you’d just spoken to him like that. After he’d gone to finger you, which you’d wanted for weeks. What the fuck were you thinking, turning him down? Even just ten seconds would’ve been more than you could’ve hoped for. And you’d shot that gift horse right in the mouth.

    You sighed, and pushed that aside. You were still on the clock.

-

    God Save The Queen began to play, and you watched as Queen took their bows. Roger and Freddie were jumping around together – they’d had a lot of fun tonight, you’d noticed, giggling and pulling faces at each other the entire concert – and Brian and John bowed and waved.

    John was off first, as he usually was, passing his bass over and grabbing a bottle of water. You expected him to head straight to the greenroom, as normal, but instead he just watched Freddie and Roger pass by, the two of them sweating and panting, but grinning, shoving at each other playfully. Brian was last, carefully handing over his Red Special. He was always quiet right after a concert, and he followed his two bandmates to the greenroom without a word.

    As soon as all three of them had passed, John was beside you again. But instead of grabbing you, he said, “Can we go somewhere?”

    You were so stunned you barely knew how to reply. “Uh, y– yeah, course.”

    You followed him downstairs – but instead of heading to the greenroom, you went to his dressing room. You hovered in the centre of the room while he locked the door behind him.

    “I, uh, wanted to apologise properly for earlier,” he said, stilted in his discomfort. He cleared his throat, and gestured towards you vaguely. “You were right. You’ve been, um, very… helpful, these past couple months, and I don’t think I’ve been treating you with the respect you deserve.”

    “Oh, no, it’s fine,” you said with an awkward laugh. “Really, John, you don’t– You already apologised.”

    “No, I…” John put a hand on his hip, his other hand rubbing his jaw. “I’ve been going through a fairly, er, rough time as of late, with the album, and a whole myriad of other things that I won’t go into, but that doesn’t excuse my behaviour. So I’m sorry. And I didn’t realise just how I was, um, behaving, until you stopped me tonight. Which you were absolutely correct to do, and I’m sorry that it had to come to that. Like I said, you were right, you’re a person, not a, um…”

    “A fucktoy,” you supplied in a small voice.

    “A, uh, fucktoy, yes,” John said, glancing away from you. “So. Er. Sorry. About that.” His eyes landed on you, and you watched as his face turned bright red. “I, uh…” He scratched the back of his neck. “This is… extremely embarrassing for me, but I– I can’t even remember…”

    You blinked at him. “Can’t remember what?”

    He gestured a little more, but you were still lost, so he squeezed out, “Your name.”

    “Oh,” you said, your eyes going wide in realisation. “Oh. It’s [Y/N].”

    “[Y/N]. Right. Of course.” John sighed, and nodded to himself. “Right. So. Did you… Was there anything you wanted to say?”

    You hesitated. “Uh, I – don’t think so. I wasn’t really expecting this, so, um…”

    “Right, yeah,” John said.

    There were a few harrowingly painful moments of uncomfortable silence, so you blurted out the first thing that popped into your head.

    “I like sucking you off.”

    Wonderful.

    John’s eyebrows rose. “Uh, good?”

    “Ah, shit,” you sighed. “I– I mean I… I’ve liked all of it. You, um, using me, and ignoring me, and being kind of a dick to me. If I didn’t like it, I would have told you to find someone else ages ago.”

    “You… like me being a dick?” John said.

    You nodded. “It’s– I–”

    “You, what, get off on it?”

    You bit your lip, and nodded again. “I know that’s really weird,” you said in a rush.

    “So would you mind if I…”

    “Continued being a dick to me? Not at all. Actually, this whole conversation is very strange for me.” You shook your head. “I appreciate it, and I appreciate you apologising and all, and I meant what I said earlier about asking me before doing anything we haven’t done before, but please don’t think you have to be really nice to me or whatever from here on.”

    John nodded. “Uh-huh.” You saw some of the tension leak from his shoulders. “Fuck, that actually makes my life a whole lot easier. I’m genuinely glad to hear that.” He laughed a little, relieved.

    “So, um.” You shifted your feet. “You gonna actually finger me now, or what?”

    He laughed again, a bigger laugh. You’d never seen that before. His smile changed his whole face – he looked like a completely different person. “No,” he said, shaking his head. He started backing towards the door. “Wish I could, but no.”

    “No?” you repeated, bewildered. “Isn’t that why we’re in here?”

    John rubbed his jaw again. “Thought about it,” he said. “But it really was just to apologise.”

    “Then why’d you lock the door?”

    “Like I said, I thought about it.”

    “So why don’t you?”

    “I have business to attend to,” he said. “We’re having drinks with someone important, I don’t know. Some kind of party, there’s always a bloody fucking party.” He added the last part in a mutter, rolling his eyes. “Not that it’s any of your business. See you tomorrow.”

    He opened the door, and then he was gone, without so much as a glance back.

    Your jaw hit the floor. “Fucking prick,” you whispered to yourself.

    You heard his voice from outside the door, heading back towards you. “Er, actually,” he said, and he poked his head around the corner. “Come by my room later, yeah? In about two hours?”

    You opened and closed your mouth once, then twice. “It– It’ll be after midnight by that time.”

    “I didn’t realise there was a curfew for fucking,” John said. “Or are you happy to just get yourself off alone in your room again, woefully unfulfilled and unsatisfied but left with no other option?”

    You just stared at him. You couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, and you had no idea what to say.

    John gave you an exasperated look. “See you in two hours. Don’t bother making yourself look nice, I’m going to ruin you anyway.”

    And he was gone again.

    And then back one more time. He pointed a finger at you, squinting in thought, then said, “[Y/N]…?”

    You nodded.

    He nodded as well, looking chuffed with himself. “[Y/N]. Have to remember that. [Y/N].”

    And he was gone once more.

    He didn’t return.

    You squeezed your thighs together. It was going to be a very long two hours to wait.

[whoisbxcky]

After School Special

request: Your writing is amazing!!!! I have a request for a peter Parker imagine where the reader has healing powers and he falls for her and he gets hurt on a mission and she rushes in to save him and she heals him and the gets hurt and peter carries her out and stays by her side the whole time? Sorry if that was confusing

pairing: peter parker x reader (!!reader and peter both 16 in this fic!!)

word count: 3500 +/-

warnings: reader suffering from anxiety and a lil panic attack thrown in the mix, some angst but a lot of fluff also, descriptive violence, gunshot wound

author’s note: Okay first ever Peter Parker fic, apologies if it’s a little iffy (especially at the end- i flopped lol) I really struggled getting this one written despite the fact it ended up being uber long by my standards! I think I struggle writing for Peter purely because of the ‘trying to get into the mindset of a teenager’ thing lmao. 

But as always, feedback welcomed and appreciated, big huge thank you to anon for the request, and I am currently accepting requested so hit that inbox my lovelies! ~ Toria <3

“You ready for your first ever mission tonight, Y/N?”

You practically jumped out of your skin, your head crashing into the top of your locker with a sickening thwack.

With a groan of pain, you spun on your heel, murderous eyes fixating on Peter Parker, who was now stood staring at you with a mixture of shock and fear etched rather comically on his face.

“Well, geez, Peter. Hard to say, you think I can manage it with a concussion?”

You softened your gaze, shaking your head with a rueful smile as you brought a hand tentatively to your head and letting it rest over the knot that was rapidly growing there.

You let your eyelids flutter shut, summoning a warm, white light to your palm and allowing the healing energy to envelop your injury, smiling softly as you did.

When you opened your eyes, your head felt good as new, and you were met with Peter’s wide, curious gaze.

You frowned at him then, raising your brow dubiously as he continued to stare. After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, you cleared your throat, narrowing your eyes at him.

“Something the matter?”

Peter blinked a few times, his cheeks donning an unmistakable pink hue as his gaze shifted anywhere and everywhere that wasn’t your face. You strained to contain an eye roll as your fellow Avenger stuttered uselessly for a minute.

“I… Well no… No, it’s just… Well… Mr. Stark said we shouldn’t use our powers just out in the open like that and well…”

He trailed off, swallowing hard as you fixed him with your best ‘keep-going-and-I’ll-flatten-you’ stare. You had to hand it to the guy, usually when you gave people that look, they turned tail and got as far away as possible from you in the other direction.

“Well, what Mr. Stark doesn’t know won’t land me with another lecture, now will it, Peter?”

You folded your arms, flashing him with a conspirator’s grin.

“Besides, you’re the one announcing tonight’s mission to the whole school.”

You raised your brows, turning to slam your locker shut before grinning at him once more, taking off towards the school exit, after a few beats, you heard Peter scrambling to catch up with you.

The two of you discussed the task ahead of you in hushed tones as you left the school building and hastily made your way across campus. You tried to focus on the conversation at hand, but the nausea gripping your stomach at the thought of your first ever mission made it increasingly difficult.

It had been a year since Tony Stark had found you and recruited you.

A whole year of missing school dances, mall dates with your friends, even class sometimes, in the interest of training to become one of the Earth’s ‘mightiest’ heroes.

You winced at the thought.

After the alien invasion in NYC back in 2012, footage had emerged of an eleven-year-old you healing wounded civilians, an ability you had been entirely unaware of possessing up until that day.

You’d thought nothing of it at the time, given that the video quality was… questionable, at best, and you magically healing the wounded was far from the strangest thing to have occurred in NYC that day.

And, despite the magical healing hands, you had done a spectacular job at being a regular old, boring high school student. Right up until Stark had shown up on your doorstep and told you the Avenger’s needed your unique skill set, and you had found yourself agreeing, against your better judgement.  

Now here you were, a year into your training and about to embark on your first ever mission as a fully-fledged Avenger.

Oh joy.

Your inner musings were interrupted by Peter’s distant voice, alerting you to the fact you had arrived at the tower. You had been so lost in thought, you hadn’t even registered getting into the car Tony had sent for you both.

You reluctantly made your way up to the briefing room, nervously chewing on your thumbnail as Steve hit you with the ‘health and safety come first’ speech, in between briefing you for the mission at hand.

The task was simple: you, Peter, Sam and Wanda would head to a warehouse housing a Hydra sleeper cell, you would infiltrate the building, eliminate any threats and gather as much intel as you could. Easy-peasy. What could go wrong?

A few hours later, the Quinjet was parked up a little way away from the warehouse, and you and Peter were stood just outside the sole entrance, neither of you saying a word.

Sam and Wanda had gone inside already to do a primary sweep, ordering the two of you to wait outside as backup, as well as taking out any hostiles that may try to flee.

Five minutes had past, and the silence was becoming deafening. You could see Peter out of the corner of your eye, his body poised and ready, his focus absolute.

You let out a defeated sigh, before clearing your throat, your eyes fixated on the pebble you were kicking around at your feet.

“They’ve been in there for a while… You think they’re alright?”

You glanced up to find Peter’s perplexed expression staring back at you, sighing again, you continued.

“I mean I know they’re the professionals and all… But shouldn’t they be back by now? What if something’s gone wrong and they-“

You were cut off in surprise as a gentle hand on your shoulder caused you to flinch. When your eyes snapped up once more, Peter was stood just inches from you, a soft smile on his face and warmth in his eyes.

“They’ll be just fine, Y/N. We’re Avengers, this mission will be a piece of cake, you’ll see.”

You felt an uncomfortable heat rising in your cheeks and you studiously averted your eyes, clearing your throat in embarrassment.

“Oh… Of course.”

Peter chuckled then, offering you a boyish grin before your amicable exchange was interrupted by the sound of shouting, followed by gunfire, followed by an explosion.

As the two of you whipped around to face the warehouse, you half registered the fact that Peter had your hand in his and had pulled you to stand behind him. But the sound of Sam’s panicked voice over the coms kept you from thinking too much about it.

“Parker, Y/L/N, we need backup, now. Get in here-“

There was more gunfire, a yell, and the coms cut off. You felt your stomach drop.

You stumbled slightly as your arm was pulled forward, and you yanked it back, your wide eyes meeting Peter’s.

“Y/N? Let’s go, they need us!”

“I… I can’t…”

Peter stared at you incredulously, glancing back at the warehouse that was now half on fire. More gunshots. More yelling.

“Our teammates are in danger, we have to-“

“I know! But I… I can’t do it, I…”

You could feel the ice-cold jaws of panic latch around your throat, making breathing feel almost impossible. You looked around frantically for a way out, but only found the chaos unfolding in front of you.

Peter let out a breath of despair, before turning on his heel and running into the building ahead of you. You moved to call him back but found that the words would not leave your throat. They were trapped there, fear holding them in place and making you choke.

I can’t do this… I’m not a hero. I’m just a sophomore for gods sake. I should be doing homework right now, making weekend plans with friends… Not running into a burning building to risk my life fighting god knows what…

You let out a sob of frustration, falling to your knees in the gravel, your hands coming up to grip your hair desperately. Your breathing was erratic, and you knew you were having a panic attack.

As you willed your breathing to slow, trying to find a calm place in your mind, Peter’s face materialised in your thoughts. You found your mind subconsciously wandering back to the first day you met in the Avenger’s Tower, your surprise at learning your classmate was the infamous Spider-man...

“I can’t believe it, Peter Parker, a hero… And… Part spider…?”

Peter gave a short barking laugh, and you flashed him a sharp-toothed grin. The two of you were sat on the balcony of the Avenger’s tower, the day of your recruitment. Despite the fact you were both freshman at the same school, it was the first time you’d ever conversed with the guy.

“I mean, yeah, you could say that. Here, check this out…”

He grinned at you then, his eyes twinkling in the growing darkness around you. With a flick of his wrist, a strand of web shot out, attaching to the rafter above you. Next thing you knew, he had pulled himself up on the web and was now dangling upside down in front of you, waving his free arm in a mock ‘ta-dah’ fashion.

You grinned at him once more, overcome with a fit of giggles as he let himself drop back to the ground, tripping over the chair as he did.

“Very cool. Doesn’t it scare you though? Putting your life at risk for complete strangers like you do…?”

You trailed of, worrying your lip between your teeth as you stared out onto the skyline. Peter paused for a moment before responding, his gaze moving from the view to rest fondly on you.

“I guess a little… But you got to do what you got to do, right?”

“I suppose… but why you? I mean… There’s a whole tower of heroes here, couldn’t you just… Not? You know, have a normal life?”

Peter chuckled then, and you slid your gaze from the city below to find his eyes fixated on you, and you smiled shyly at him.

“The way I see it? Those with the power to make a difference who chose not to, are just as bad as the bad guys.”

You stared at him for a beat, his words settling deep in your subconscious. After a moment of thoughtful silence, he hopped to his feet, offering you a hand.

“Come on, let’s go check out the cinema room.”

Your eyes lit up, and you accepted his hand as he pulled you to your feet, steadying you with a hand on your waist.

“You guys have a cinema room here!?”

Peter’s laugh mingling with your own faded into the darkness of your subconscious once more, a nearby blast drawing you out of your memories.

You found yourself back on your feet, breathing even once more and a new-found resolve coursing through your veins.

Peter was right, you were afraid, and that was okay. But if you let your fear win and abandoned your teammates right now, you didn’t deserve to call yourself an Avenger.

Sprinting towards the now half destroyed warehouse, you paused for a moment to pick up a nearby steal pipe that was laying in the gravel, likely thrown there in one of the explosions. You may have healing powers, but combat lessons had not been your strong suit, so you hadn’t bothered to bring a weapon with you, other than some knuckle dusters that Natasha had gifted you and a mace from Rhodey.

As you entered the building, your senses were momentarily overloaded. You could see Wanda facing off against an armada of automatic weaponry, bullets raining down on her in succession. Sam was off to your right, engaged with a particularly large man with a suit that echoed Tony’s Iron-man get up. And there, in front of you, Peter was taking on the bulk of the Hydra forces, dipping and weaving to avoid their gunfire while taking them out one-by-one.

A yell to your left alerted you to an incoming hostile, and you cried out in determination as you swung the pipe at the man’s face, knocking him out and onto his back.

You ducked behind a slab of concrete to your right as gunfire peppered the wall behind you, cursing as a stray bullet whizzed past your ear, far too close for comfort.

With a grimace, you stood up, ready to throw yourself back into the fray, when Sam’s voice screaming down the coms made you stop dead in your tracks.

“Grenade, everyone down!”

You threw yourself back behind the concrete slab, your heart stopping in your chest as a deafening boom went off from the other side of the room. You were vaguely aware of debris, fire and the occasional body flying over your head, and you screwed your eyes closed.

You thought things couldn’t get any worse than this, surely, they couldn’t get worse.

You were wrong.

“Peter is down!”

Wanda’s panicked tone came crackling over the coms and you felt bile rise in your throat.

Without thinking, you clambered to your feet, steel pipe abandoned. You stumbled over concrete, bodies and scrap metal as you blindly made your way over to where you had last seen your friend.

“Peter!?”

You heard a voice screaming and took a moment to realise it was your own, horse and cracking with fear as you scrambled to find him amongst the wreckage on the far side on the room.

There, a flash of red and blue under a few wooden beams.

“Peter!”

You called out for him, rushing to his side as you began to dig him out of the rubble. You almost sobbed in relief when he let out a groan of disapproval, helping you shift the largest beam from his torso. He glanced up at you with a lopsided grin, although the pain in his eyes was unmistakable.

“You came.”

You stared back at him, the relief at him being alive giving way to worry for the wounds he had clearly sustained in the explosion.

“I did. Hold still while I fix you up.”

Without another word, you placed your hands gingerly on his chest, willing the warm, white light to manifest in your palms and spread throughout Peter’s whole body.

You heard him gasp and felt his whole body relax, as tendrils of your focused energy reached out throughout his wounded form, finding cuts, breaks and bruises and restoring them as you went.

Once you were done, you summoned the white light back into your palms, sagging forward in exhaustion as your eyelids fluttered open.

Peter sat up, entirely healthy once more, to catch your shoulders.

“Are you alright, Y/N?”

You smiled up at him weakly, nodding.

“Mhm. I’ve just never healed that many injuries all at once before, it’s… Taken it out of me a little”

He gave you a warm smile back, and a whistle from behind you made you both spin around to attention. You found Sam and Wanda heading your way, delicately navigating the warehouse floor.

“You two alright?”

Sam called out, fixing you with a concerned look.

“Yeah, we’re good.”

Peter called back, hopping to his feet and offering you a hand up, which you gladly accepted. You felt completely drained, both from the adrenaline that was now depleting in your blood stream and the expended energy, but you managed to hold yourself up steadily in front of your fellow Avengers.

“Good. That seems to be the last of them. Let’s get to the control room, get those damn files and get the hell out of dodge.”

Sam started walking towards a gaping hole in the wall behind you, which you recalled from the building’s blueprints would lead to a concrete bunker under the warehouse. Everyone nodded in agreement, moving to follow him.

You had only taken a few steps when the sound of a gunshot rang out, thunderously loud in the silence of the decimated room.

Everything seemed to happen at half-speed then.

Your eyes caught the flash of the sniper rifle on one of the corridors above you.

Wanda, without missing a beat, captured the perpetrator in a net of red energy, launching him from the balcony and through a hole in the warehouse roof.

There was a deafening ringing in your ears, making the world around you feel blurry. You became numbly aware of the sensation of warm liquid running down your arm and chest, freezing in terror as you glanced down to see a stream of red on your tactical vest.

You’d just been shot.

Your legs gave out from under you, your eyes rolling to the back of your head in shock. However, the feeling of your body hitting concrete never came.

Instead, when you opened your eyes once more you found yourself in Peter’s arms, his face twisted in fear, panic and rage as he called to you, telling you to hold on, to stay awake.

You could hear Sam telling Wanda to fetch the first aid kit while he started up the Quinjet to extract you.

Wanda’s voice in your mind telling you to stay awake, that you’d be okay.

You took in a shaky breath, willing your voice to return to you as the ringing in your ears finally subsided, and everything became clear once more.

“Stop!”

You half-croaked, half-yelled. Your fellow Avengers stopped dead in their tracks, staring at you in confusion.

Peter grabbed your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as he held you.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. You’re fine, okay? You’re fine-“

“It’s not that.”

You winced as a fit of coughing racked your trembling form, and you met each of your teammates’ stares with a determined one of your own.

“We have a mission to complete. You guys go and get the files.”

Stares of confusion turned to disbelief, and it was Wanda who finally broke the stunned silence.

“That bullet has torn through your chest, Y/N, you need assistance right now.”

You coughed again, struggling to sit up, but Peter held you firmly down in his arms, moving to speak before you cut him off.

“I can stem the bleeding with what’s left of my energy. That’ll keep me going while you guys do what we came here for.”

You met Sam’s gaze, your eyes burning with fierce resolve, and he nodded slowly.

“Alright then, Parker, you get her outside and into the Quinjet ready to go. We’ll be as fast as possible. Y/N, you hang tough until we get back, you hear?”

You nodded in response, offering him a small smile as he and Wanda took off running down the corridor.

Peter followed by scooping you up in his arms bridal style, murmuring reassurances to you as he briskly navigated your way back through the debris and out of the warehouse. You let your head fall against his chest, focusing your energy on the part of your chest the bullet had gone through.

By the time you were both safely aboard the Quinjet, you had successfully stopped the bleeding and made a haphazard attempt at patching the skin up, but given the complete lack of energy you now possessed, it was far from your finest work.

Peter gently lowered himself to the floor, keeping you securely in his arms and bringing you to settle in his lap. When he finally spoke, his voice held an unmistakable waiver of emotion, and you glanced up to see the worry mixed with pride etched on his face as he spoke.

“That, what you did back there, Y/N… That was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen.”

He smiled gently down at you, reaching up to your face to move a stray strand of hair from your eye, you smiled in response.

“Honestly, I just thought to myself: what would Peter do? The confidence came naturally after that.”

You grinned up at him, wincing as a giggle bubbled up in your throat.

Peter began to chuckle in turn, shaking his head with a dazed smile.

“First official day as an Avenger, and you take a bullet to the chest. That’s pretty badass, you know.”

You smirked, the pain from your wound subsiding as you lost yourself in oak-brown of his eyes.

“Badass enough to take you on, I think. What do you say, sparring session when we get back?”

“Oh, it’s a date, Y/N!”

You both burst into a fit of laughter, half delirious with exhaustion, half relieved at having survived the day.

Despite your fear, despite your doubts, despite getting shot on your first day on the job, you became absolutely clear of one thing in the safety of Peter’s grasp.

With him by your side, you had the strength to be an Avenger.

[reelybadfnafocs]

Here I go (oh boy, sorry for the terrible English, I’m actually Brazilian so this is hard) (i was about to be like holaaaaaaaa otro latino but then i remembred yall speak porch of geese fml. anyway hi. mod mangles on the case)

Name: Dolly the Dog

Species: Dog

Gender: Female

Job: The narrator of the shows/babysitter

Purpose: To help with the narration during the shows and to take care of the lost children in the establishment. Children are instructed to, if they ever lose sight of their parents, stay close to the stage and play with her; the parents are instructed to look there first. If the parents don’t come back to take their child, one of the employees has to discover where the child lives and take the poor kid home. If the kid is not comfortable with the employee, they can take their favorite animatronic to accompany them (this was only permitted after one incident, in which a girl made a scandal because she didn’t wanted to go with the day guard to her house). while i think the concept of a kid showing up to someone’s house with like a 6 ft furry robot is funny, i don’t see this really panning out in practice. as iffy as i am about it, i think the “babysitter/lost child center” thing can stay as is, but i think employees would defer to calling parents first (if the child is old enough to have memorized a phone number/have a phone), local authorities, or CPS.

Creator: Sarah Brown (another OC), the owner of the establishment and the creator of all the animatronics.

Location: The Showtime Funland, a restaurant for all the family (but specially for their children). It’s a vibrant, cheery and colorful place, where there are seven animatronics: Ollie the Owl, Billy the Bird, Fany the Fish, Charlie the Cat, Dolly the Dog, Happy and Lucky. Happy and Lucky are the only human-ish animatronics, and both of them are out of order during the game, and the others are the main actors of the stage, where they tell stories with musicals during the meals on the restaurant or just stay on the playground with the kids; the only one who can’t go to the playground during the day is Dolly, who’s programmed to stay and take care of the children waiting for their parents.

Where: On the stage; she sits on the front of the stage, on the right, and narrates the story that’s being performed.

Age: She’s the oldest animatronic: seven years of functioning. Her character is older than that, because of her old version, but since it was malfunctioning in a way which wasn’t even possible to take lightly, she was replaced by her new version. Her character is 14 years old. this is a little unclear to me…has she been in service for 14 years, or is the character supposed to be like a 14 year old child? i don’t think animatronics really need ages tbh but i dont see any issue with this either, so you can scrap this detail if you feel unsure about it.

Haunted/not: She is not haunted, but her program is malfunctioning; her AI is not recognizing the faces of the employees during the night for “unknown reasons”, and she attacks them as if they are “threats to the establishment”, in a way that she wasn’t programmed to do; she was supposed to call the police if any intruder came, but she becomes aggressive during the night because of someone meddling with her system.

During the game: The first thing the game shows is a cutscene, where the night guard is guided through the whole building by the day guard (called “Steve Hughes” by Annie, but it’s not known if this is the same day guard or not), and is introduced to the animatronics and told a bit of the story behind the establishment. It was created by Sarah Brown, a famous inventor, and was a well known establishment since its opening during the 80’s. During its history in business, there where countless robbers and stupid teenagers trying to get in and mess around with the things inside Funland, so the night guard was supposed to deal with these problems; but the animatronics, after a terrible incident in which the night guard was attacked by a robber, received a new AI capable of recognizing the faces of the employees and to give the night guard an alert if there was any intruder. The night guard is left alone to watch the cameras while listening to “Annie”’s recordings, since she was the last night guard, and discover about the malfunctioning of the AIs. In the third night, Annie quits, leaving the player with her guide about how to avoid the animatronics and with some recordings of how to flee if there’s something happening during the night (like a fire, for example) without getting caught. First, only Ollie and Fany are threats, but through night two and three Billy and Charlie too start to malfunction; in the end of night three, Dolly starts to do so as well. In the fifth night, Happy and Lucky also leave the deposit where they are hidden to attack the player. On the sixth bonus night, Annie left an odd recording of her and Sarah talking about the AIs of the animatronics, and Sarah implies that she knows of someone who would “do anything to make his business bigger than mine again, and wouldn’t hesitate to sabotage my creations”, as if she knows about the malfunctioning.

During the nights (3-5 (and bonus night)): She is the most predictable and organized of the animatronics, always making this specific path: first she leaves the stage, where she normally is, then goes through the playground (and stays there for a while), passes by the kitchen, through the deposit (where the audio doesn’t work, but the camera does), and then to the left corridor to the night guard’s office. She never changes her path, but as the game progresses she begins to become more and more fast and, since the other animatronics are more unpredictable, it’s harder to pay attention to her movements. Annie says, on her second recording, that she’s afraid of all the animatronics besides Dolly, since she is “the less threatening”; but, on her guide to escape on night four, she seems to have changed her mind (or it was a previous recording, before she labeled Dolly as “predictable and almost harmless”), it doesn’t chronologically make sense to have this be a previous recording, unless you intend to imply that annie went back and remade recordings for nights 1-3 right before she quit in addition to the night 4 guide. saying that “it would be best if you pay attention to her, since she’s fast and difficult to see without the flashlights”.

Skill: She tries to kill the player, first at the end of night three until night five (and the sixth bonus night). Dolly has a very advanced AI and is equipped with a recognition system, at least a hundred plays and stories on her memory, a voice system that helps her to change her voice when needed, the ability to sing, dance and interact with humans properly, and a system that can regulate her body heat. i was gonna say a hundred seems a bit much but idk how many stories the storyteller-esque animatronics are programmed to have tbh. if youre aiming to make the restaurant one of those cheaper places, id recommend scaling this number down.

Personality: During the day, Dolly is incredible cocky and arrogant when it comes to her role as the narrator, and she proclaims herself the “star of the show”, something her old version had but was even worse, coming to the extreme of pushing another animatronic off the stage and destroying it completely after getting annoyed by the poor robot. She’s kind with the children and the adults alike, but acts more politely with the elder and more sisterly with the younger audience; she says, during the game, that it’s horrible to never be able to go to the playground, but that she loves to take care of the lost children. During the night, she becomes a very aggressive but organized animatronic, something that her personality has during daytime as well; she is often annoyed by the others, since they sometimes go against the script for comic relief. Dolly is the most talkative of the animatronics during their attempts to kill the player, often bragging about her role as the narrator and star of the Showtime Funland and threatening to “end the show” of the night guard.

Appearance: A black and white dog (white on her mouth, chin, hands and belly), with big, glowing brown-yellowish eyes. Her ears are long and fall by the sides of her head, and she has paws instead of feet, but still has hands. She wears a magician hat with a blue bow on it, and sometimes during her show takes it off, just to reveal something inside of it that can help during the play (for example, a sword so that the protagonist can slay the dragon or a pie to the little protagonist give as a gift to a friend); she also wears a blue bowtie that matches her hat’s bow.

ok, final thoughts:

i was going to comment on how high-quality these animatronics seem to be, but given that you go out of your way to describe Sarah Brown as a very competent mechanic(? is that the right term idk), i think ill let it go. this seems like one of those higher end fancy-ish restaurants so most of this can slide, unlike if you were to make the location be some sort of cheap or dirty diner.

no notes on the story, i think it works well. the game seems to have kind of a steep difficulty spike towards the latter half with nights 3, 4, and 5, but thats not really an issue i think because you deal with more shit on fnaf 2 anyway. there were some iffy bits here and there, but nothing too bad that was worth pointing out or changing, so overall this is a solid character! good job :D

~mod mangle

[lesdsandoval97]

Hey! So I decided to man up and finally write my first fan fiction. I always love to read fan fictions on Tumblr, Deviant art, & Wattpad. I read a lot of the Haikyuuxreader fan fics. People are so creative & I became inspired.

Please do not judge, I wrote this today at 4 in the morning & it may not be perfect. It is a bit long and cheesy.

By the way, when you get the chance, this story is also on my wattpad. I do plan to continue more fan fictions!

Hopefully you guys enjoy! 💕

*Suga & yourself are married in this story* ❤️

Sorry if this isn't the best, this is my first fanfic story I have ever written. I love Suga by the way! Haha. I am also writing this at 4 a.m. I all of a sudden woke up & decided to write! LOL.

Suga and yourself had made plans with your friends to go to a Halloween party hosted by Mr. Okiawa himself. Suga seemed to be excited when you both got the invitation. You remember him coming home from work and him showing you the message from Oikawa. He was so excited that it made you want to hug him so hard and give him thousands of kisses because he looked so darn adorable. That same night, you both stayed up looking up ideas for Halloween costumes.

"Y/N, what should we dress up as for Halloween? Should we buy couple costumes, or will you like to dress up as something specific?" Suga said while staring at his laptop. You responded with, "Honey, it's kind of late and we both have work tomorrow morning. Why not just come to bed and we can talk about the costumes tomorrow?" With your response, you saw Suga's little gleaming eyes a little dull. With that look, you felt bad and ended up staying up with him looking up costumes. You guys were looking at so many that you guys didn't know what to dress up as. You both did not go to sleep till 1 a.m. that night.

The next day, you both woke up with little eye bags under your eyes. You were dead tired but Suga had made coffee for you to give you some energy. He apologized to you for making you stay up late and especially for not being able to choose a costume. You told him, "Babe, don't stress out, we still have another 3 weeks to choose. Plus why won't we just go to the a costume store and try costumes on? It can be a little date for you and I. We can go grab something to eat while we look for costumes?" Suga loved your idea and you both agreed on going Friday afternoon since you both were out early that day.

*Time skip to Friday*

Suga was waiting for you to get back home. He was out earlier than expected. When you finally arrived home, it was 3 in the afternoon. He was so excited to go, you ended up going as is in your work clothes. He kept telling you that you looked gorgeous as always. You guys first went to go grab some burgers and fries at a burger joint because he knew you will be hungry. Then you guys went to the costume store. There, you guys ran into Hinata, Kenma, Yamaguchi, & Kageyama. The six of you were talking for a little bit before resuming to finding a costume. You asked the boys what they will be dressing up as so you and Suga can get an idea.

Hinata decided to dress up as a carrot, Kageyama, with the help of Hinata, is dressing up as a vampire. Kenma is dressing up as a character from Among us, & Yams was dressing up as a butler. You thought their costumes were the cutest. The boys ended up leaving & now it was time for you & Suga look for your costumes. You were walking around & saw a PB & J costume. You called Suga & asked if you guys can try them on. He was a bit iffy, but saw your excitement & agreed. You both got out of the dressing rooms & looked into the mirror. You began bursting in tears of laughter on how funny but adorable you two looked. Suga was not a fan, but he did ask if you wanted the costume. "Y/N, if you like this costume then let's buy them." You responded with, "Suga, that look in your face is telling me you don't like this costume. Let's look for another one." You gave him a smile, and asked him to at least take a mirror picture in them.

You guys resumed & tried on another 3 costumes. You guys tried on shark costumes, pig costumes, & Pokémon costumes. Suga was Ash & you dressed up as Pikachu. He was not a fan of any but you at least got mirror selfie's. You asked him, "Suga, so is there any idea of a certain costume you like?" You were beginning to become annoyed but tried your best not to bring the mood down. He said, "I really like classic costumes. Maybe like something in the 20's or 50's. Or a costume of a classic movie like Mary Poppins or the Wizard of Oz." From there, your brain clicked and you guys went to look for 20's costumes. All the costumes there at the store seemed in cheap quality & were a bit pricey. So you guys grabbed some accessories like, gloves for you, a cute black laced with black jewels head piece, a hat for him, fake cigs, & some other stuff.

From there, you guys left to a thrift store & bought a dress for you. You told him if you can call Asahi if he can fix up some costumes for you two. (You know, since Asahi is a fashion designer after all. LOL) He agreed & you guys waited for Asahi to show up to the thrift store. Asahi liked the dress you got & had instantly thought of an idea. For Suga, you guys went to another store, bought a white dress shirt, a black vest, & a burgundy & black suit. He also bought a black bow tie & vintage dress shoes. Thanks to Asahi for coming along, you guys finally had your outfits ready!

*Time skip to a week & a half later"

Asahi took about a week & a half to get your dress ready. He ended up taking the dress to your house. Suga offered to pay but he insisted not to pay him. Instead, he asked if you can make him some of your delicious rice balls, & you agreed. Asahi had both of you try on your costumes. When you guys did, Suga was so happy, you couldn't help but smile at his excitement. Asahi said, "you two look so nice! You guys will have eyes all over you."

*Time skip to the day of Halloween party*

"Y/N, are you ready?! It's almost time to go!!" Suga yelled from downstairs. You were rushing to finish up your makeup. Suga was very patient with you, but when the man had somewhere to go, he liked to be a little punctual. Plus, you knew how excited he was. You giggled and responded with, "Yes Suga, I just need to put on my lashes, my necklace, heels, & perfume." When he heard you say that, he rushed upstairs and says, "let me help you." You put on your lashes and he helped you put on your necklace. He looks at you from the mirror and goes, "you're very beautiful Mrs. Sugawara." You couldn't help but blush. He then gave you a sweet but soft kiss on your neck. He helped you put on your heels, you helped him put on his bow tie then you guys took a couple selfies & mirrored selfies.

Suga went to get the car ready while you packed your necessities in your purse. You had a cute burgundy with gold clutch for your costume but also you packed a regular sized purse with necessities just in case. Before you stepped out the house, he asked if you had everything ready. You smiled and nodded and he opened the car door for you.

You guys finally arrive to Oikawa's house. You guys saw about 30 cars parked outside. You mentioned to Suga, "man, Oikawa is super popular." Suga parked a little far from Oikawa's house. He was a little bummed because you guys arrived about an hour & a half late. He wanted to get good parking so you wouldn't have to walk far. He opened the door for you & he held your hand as you guys walked to the Halloween party. As you guys walked in, Oikawa greeted you both with hugs, & told you two how amazing you looked. He had a photographer at the door. You guys posed & the photographer gave your guys a copy of the picture in a Polaroid.

Suga & yourself were complimented almost the whole night. You guys ate, had a couple of drinks, (well mainly you because Suga was your D.D.), & you guys danced your butts off. You guys also ended up winning, "Best Halloween costume" and won a cute trophy & a $50 gift card for a famous restaurant.

Once you guys got home, Suga helped you take off your makeup, your outfit, & slipped you into your nightgown. Suga put the trophy & couple Polaroids you guys had on your nightstand. He Princess carried you into bed, & laid down next to you holding you close. He said, "Thank you beautiful for a fun night. You really looked amazing. Sorry I was a bit difficult when we were costume shopping. I still can't believe we won the contest! I love you, Ms. Sugawara." He then gave you a kiss on the forehead & fell asleep holding you.

[honestlyconkus]

North steals hoodies

No one really noticed at first. It all happened so suddenly.

One day she was wearing a gray hoodie that looked almost identical to Simon’s. The hood itself was frayed at the edges, fibers peeking out, and the inside was rough from constant use, wash and dry in the washer. It was kind of old too, the gray color becoming lighter, losing its pigment. It had the look that someone had kept it for a long time. There was no mistaking it; Simon owned that hoodie for quite some time.

“North is that my hoodie?” He asked as she walked to their kitchen in the apartment, yawning. Her systems were a little iffy, she’ll have to run diagnostics in a few days. She barely looked at Simon as she went to the coffeemaker, turning it on. The caffeine gave androids, like humans, a small kick to their systems to get them going.

“Yes.”

That was that.

The next day it was Josh’s black sweats. She said his was the most comfortable out of the 4 when she walked out with it rumpled around her feet, socks barely peeking out as she tried not to trip over the fabric. He didn’t know what to say to her except make sure she didn’t leave any stains on it.

The 3 android boys made a silent agreement; to never tell another living being, android or human, how cute North looked being tiny in the sweats. It would cost them their thirium pumps, they were sure of it.

Another time it was Markus’ sweater. They wanted to go out for a little shopping, some new silverware or something. Markus was looking for the same exact sweater when she suddenly appeared in his room, wearing it and being a size too big on her. It was a black one with a large, slightly darker black handprint on the back.

“Let’s go slowpoke we’ll miss the bus.”

“North that’s-”

“Finders keepers losers weepers,” she recited, turning around to join Simon and Josh at the front of their apartment. He frowned when he spotted the print. “We won’t wait up for you.” He couldn’t even correct her that, no North I bought that, but it didn’t matter. He found a different sweater instead (white with a small black triangle on the back) and went out to join his friends.

One day she ended up with a tie. But not just any tie; it was Connor’s.

“Why do you have his tie?” Josh asked as she sat with them to watch a movie. It was friday movie night, where Jericho crowded around the 2 small sofas they had in their tiny living room and attempted to fit together. They all recognized it as Connor’s because he still wore the weird, shiny plastic like quality ties that came with his uniform. The said item was wrapped around her neck neatly, looking too big against her white button down. She shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest, pressing the tie protectively to her.

“I wanted it.”

“Is it for anything in particular?” Simon asked as he sat beside Markus, offering popcorn between the group. She didn’t reply and tossed a few kernels in her mouth. Markus shrugged and pressed play through his network, allowing the movie to start.

They never did figure out why.

While the subject of North taking their things was normal, the situation suddenly grew weirder when Connor came into the picture. When Markus lost his things, like his clothes, he never really minded. The theft was fine because it was someone he knew, someone who had access to his stuff. And who would (hopefully, if he begged) return them.

Unsurprisingly she never did. Her excuses often started and ended with, sorry Markus, I’m not sure where it went. But if I find it I’ll let you know, okay?

He didn’t mind really. He could always just buy more clothes. But it started to become a problem, when he realize it wasn’t lost; it was being used, by someone other than himself.

Markus decided to go out with Connor one day. It was an off day for him, and Connor told him once he enjoyed their walks and spending time at café’s. Markus happened to like Connor’s company as well and indulged him on these ‘dates.’ Today was another café, this one a place they haven’t been to before. Connor liked going to different places every time, always trying to make their dates new and fun.

(Markus tried avoid saying the words ‘I’m going on a date with Connor again’ to Jericho so it wouldn't be as weird but the gang called them that anyway. It stuck.)

When Connor showed up, wearing a sweater he remembered he lost precisely 2 weeks ago, he grew suspicious. He pointed at Connor’s chest, chuckling. “Uhm. Connor. Is that my sweater?”

“No.” Connor was quick to respond, looking down at the sweater and shaking his head. “I don’t recall you ever wearing it before. Maybe it looks similar to something else you have in your wardrobe?”

He wasn’t fooled for a second. It said ‘DETROIT’ in large white letters against a soft yellow background, but the letters never finished connecting to make them look like letters. Thus, the D had one straight line going down, and a detached half circle beside it, the E only has three straight lines across, the T one line across and a shorter, disconnected vertical line going down, etc, etc. The aesthetic was the reason he bought it. But he’d have to forfeit this one. When the RK800 tilted his head to the side Markus knew the cute act would get him.

He sighed and smiled. “Nevermind. So, how have you been detective?”

As their dates grew, Connor’s style did as well. One time he came on a walk with him, wearing  suspiciously similar gray sweats he remembered losing 5 weeks ago. Another time, while enjoying a day at the museum, Connor was wearing a casual denim jacket Markus remembered losing 3 days before they met up. And for the 5th time, Connor was wearing skinny black jeans, ripped at the knees and distressed at a patch up his thigh, with red, blue and orange paint splatters near the calves. Markus knew those were his.

He remembered ruining them while he painted a portrait of Jericho, the boat they resided in before they were free.

He had stopped asking Connor, and instead asked North, since she was the only other suspect here. She was the only one who had access to clothes that he knew she had worn at least once. He had to ask, because seeing Connor in his clothes, with that ass into his jeans, Markus found himself admiring more than just the museum pieces.

Then, when Connor went for a walk with him with Sumo, wearing Markus’ pale blue button down, rolled up at the sleeves, paired with the ripped black jeans and somehow Markus’ black skate shoes, it was over.

“North I need you to answer me honestly,” he asked, cornering her in their living room. She was sitting watching a cooking show and quietly knitting, trying to mind her own business but Markus knew. Oh he knew.

The devil worked hard but North worked harder.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“Doing what?” She asked innocently, setting her knitting needles down and staring demurely at her former leader. “I’m not doing anything-”

“Cut the bullshit, North. I know you’re trying to get me get into Connor’s pants and goddamnit it’s working.” Fuck. Maybe he should’ve phrased that better. He cleared his throat and tried again when the smug expression on her face grew bigger. “Seeing him in my clothes, with his cute little ass in my pants makes it hard for me to think near him. North how could you do this to me?”

North grinned, her tongue licking at her lips. She batted her eyelashes at him suggestively. “Maybe you shouldn’t be thinking.”

“Maybe, you should just rip them off instead.”

Markus couldn’t answer that, because he had thought of it before but there wasn’t a time where he found it appropriate. North seemed to know he had such dirty thoughts though, because the sly glint in her eyes gave everything away. Ah, damn.

“So tell me, how many times did you undress him in your head?” North winked, as if she just read his mind. Which she might've; she’s not above hacking her friends to invade their privacy. She cackled at the embarrassment on his face, smacking his thigh with her hand.

“I’m telling you,” she continued, controlling the conversation now. “Just get yourselves somewhere private, maybe a motel, hell even here, and we’d get your problem fixed right away-”

“North why would you even consider our apartment like that oh my god-”

She shrugged, ignoring the uncomfortable look on his face. “I’m just sayin’, Markus. If you need anything, I’m not above helping a friend out.”

He grew quiet as he scrutinized her, trying to gauge her reaction. “What are you getting out of this?”

North winked, making a shushing motion with her lips. “Secret. Plus Connor is cute as fuck Markus--- Don’t tell me you wouldn’t smash? Because that would make you the worst liar in all of android history.”

Markus rolled his eyes. North wasn’t done.

“Oh, and if it helps? Connor loves wearing your clothes.” She winked at him, turning back to her show about making lasagna. “He thinks some things are a little… tight though.”

“I think you might be able to help with that.”

Markus opened his mouth, closed it, then left the room, bright blue in the face; in his dramatic exit he decided to call Connor and meet him at the park, their usual spot. There was only one way to settle this, and that was not to admit his sexual feelings towards the younger android. Instead, it was to ask for his clothes back.

That shouldn't be too difficult.

He was so wrong, so so immensely wrong when he spotted Connor walking towards him. He thought he looked good, wearing an off white hoodie beneath a black bomber jacket, matching it with his favourite ripped blue jeans and white shoes. But Connor.

Connor was wearing a-

Markus nearly had his systems overload, smoke rising out of his ears.

Connor had somehow acquired his beige trench coat, sporting a black sweater beneath with a white collar. He matched it with olive green pants and stylish brown shoes. Other than the trench coat, everything else seemed to be his.

But it didn't deny the fact that Connor was absolutely, most definitely, purposely dressing as him.

“Hello Markus,” Connor said, smiling. His hands were stuffed in his pockets. Fuck, even his hair was loose and wavy at his forehead, slicked back style forgone for something more natural.

“Did you want to talk to me about something?”

Markus cleared his throat, turning away to try and clear his mind as well. Maybe if he didn't stare at Connor his mind wouldn't be giving him such... images. 

Ugh. 

ra9 help him.

“Uh yeah. yes actually.”

Okay. This was it. Markus just needed to ask for his clothes back. 5 simple words. “I need my clothes back.” Easy. Nothing could mess this up now-

“Would you like to go on a proper date with me?”

fuck

Connor tilted his head, processing the words for a bit while his LED flickered. Then he beamed, stepping closer in delight. His LED was glowing a steady happy blue from the corner of Markus’ vision. “I thought you'd never ask!”

The android blinked. His behaviour wasn’t what he expected. “So that's a yes?”

“Of course it's a yes!” Connor had never felt happier, smiling at him with such glee it left the android aching something in his heart.

Markus was surprised, but felt happy as well, sharing his own smile. Connor let out a laugh, looking relieved.

“I'm glad this worked.”

What?

“What did?” The RK200 demanded, closing their distance and glaring, immediately suspicious. What does that mean? He couldn’t mean-

“Did North put you up to this?”

“She did.” Connor admitted unashamedly, grinning and stepping even closer. There was barely a foot of space separating them now, the front of Markus’ trench coat brushing against the owner's arms. “She mentioned your preferences for stylish men and I simply acted accordingly. I didn't anticipate it would be this much of a success.”

“Did you now?” Markus raised an eyebrow, noting the other's boldness. Surprised by his own courage by reaching out from impulse and wrapping a suggestive hand around Connor's hip. The android simply leaned into the touch, brown eyes wide and eager.

Markus was only glad he wasn't the only one feeling such a way.

“And did you anticipate this?”

Markus pulled him in, smiling as Connor's nose brushed against his own, hands slotting to Connor's hips. The other android's hands reached up to clutch at Markus’ jacket, a smile mimicking Markus’ own.

“No,” Connor whispered, eyes dipping below to the inches of distance between their lips.

“But I was hoping for it.”

Neither one knew who close the distance first.

[brihana25]

Tony O’Dell in Dynasty

For @dream-beyond-the-fantasy

I’m sorry about the quality on these. I tried as hard as I could, but pausing on Prime’s streaming videos is always iffy, at best. Plus, it was the 80s, and the quality on almost everything was crap. 

If you want me to try again, I’m more than happy to do so. Just let me know.

[frembrulee]

involuntary angel

I’m down by the waterfront, the sun splitting all over the water, going completely crazy, and the water’s more blue than I ever remember it being. It’s been this dull muddy grey-blue for ages and suddenly it’s beautiful and stark, the wind coming up off of it and I’ve forgotten a jacket, I’m just wearing a sweater a friend I don’t talk to anymore gave me, ill-fitting jeans, Adidas all-stars, I really only came down here to buy things to make myself feel better, overpriced K-beauty supplies from Moon Moon Cosmetics and… something else I forget, dry-cleaning or something, but the water’s so beautiful and I’m alone and I can’t help it, I start crying.

Not for the sake of it, like the time last winter I was bored and wandering the city and it was windy, cold, frosty out, it was really bad, I actually think it was a full-on snowstorm but I was underdressed again, and I remember stumbling across the benches facing the water. These benches are always taken, usually by one person, but if you try to share a bench with a stranger they think you’re crazy, but no one was out because it was so miserable. The sea felt melancholy that day, but I didn’t really feel anything. I was bored and I thought it’d be interesting to sit on a bench. So I sat there for a while. A few people in heavy raincoats walked by while I sat there, and I amused myself by thinking about what they must be thinking about a lone girl sitting on a bench near the ocean in the rain. I used to do stuff like that to try to make myself feel better. I’d think that at least I was making other people’s lives interesting, or I’d make them stop and think. Like when I used to cry on the subway trains, on the ride home from school. I felt better about it because at least it was interesting, a girl crying on a train.

But today I actually feel something. Not that I didn’t feel anything those other times. But I haven’t felt anything in a long time this... feelable. I’ve actually been feeling it for two whole weeks. After I break up with my boyfriend I got with over the summer, I suddenly don’t know what to do. And it just builds; he doesn’t talk to me at all afterwards, even though we were friends for almost two years beforehand, and he really tried to convince me that he cared about me. But after the break up, radio silence. At first, I think, yeah, maybe it’s normal not to talk. To ‘give it time’, to get over something. But what the fuck is normal? It was three months of seeing each other nonstop. I think part of it is because we never really clicked, and that’s where it gets iffy — I suddenly think he knew that from the beginning, that we didn’t click. His words when we broke up echo in my head:

“So… do you want to call this off?”

“… Yes, I think so.”

“Me too.”

“Wait, really? Why you too?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about the stuff you said before and I think you’re right. I noticed the things you said, but I just wrote them off because I thought we were early in our relationship.”

I’m understanding of this. I tried to break up with him before this conversation, said things like, ‘I still don’t know if I like you.’ I asked him if he felt a spark, and he took a long time before saying, ‘… Yes? I like you and I like hanging out with you.’

Just thinking about it makes me feel like a kid watching an adult film: I feel uneasy and I start to cry but I don’t know why.

So I think I understand, like maybe he didn’t realize we didn’t track exceptionally well, but, after thinking about it, maybe he did realize, deep down. And I start to think, what the fuck. What a fucking waste of time. I honestly get embarrassed; that like, I was a weird fuck-up, but he kept giving me the benefit of the doubt because I was into him. The thing is, during the summer, I was practically manic, whatever that means — more guys had been hitting on me than ever before, I’d been crushing on Chris for a year and he left his girlfriend of five years and we hooked up the next night. I felt funnier and prettier than most of the people around me, like I’d never looked or sounded this good. And suddenly, summer’s over, and I feel like I’m waking up. I’m like, maybe my personality is actually shit. All that cockiness for nothing. Chris has these friends who all have 200 likes on their Facebook profiles, 1,500 Facebook friends, real career jobs, hot girlfriends and boyfriends, and I’m lucky if I get 30 likes and I don’t talk to half of the people I used to. So many people leave; I’m just not that… ‘quality’. I don’t quite think he’s embarrassed he dated me, objectively, but inside his head, I suddenly wonder if he really ever liked me in the first place. I don’t even know.

On top of that, all of my friends are his friends. And none of them have talked to me in a while. They all wanted to date, at one point. I’m that girl. I’m just a dumb girl.

So everything comes crashing down. It’s been two weeks. I walk by the water, and I feel so hopelessly… bad. About myself. I look at the water for so long, thinking it’ll be refreshing, I’ll clear my head, but then the breeze hits and I feel something drop, and I’m on the dock and it’s so sunny, and my eyes are watering, and I dial my mom. She’s worried, tells me it’ll all be okay, that I’m amazing. I’m Serena. She tells me to buy a nice bottle of wine, go home and make myself dinner, have some chocolate. I’m sobbing on the phone near the dock, and not because I want to. I can’t help it — it feels involuntary. Real. Like I did nothing to move it into being. I just existed.

That’s what I imagine love to feel like. Like it happens to you. So this is happening to me. I hang up, and a homeless man comes up to me, starts telling me his story.

“My name is Tim,” he says, after a while, we shake hands. “I’m going home soon, visiting my mom soon, she’s 87. It’s the right thing to do. I’m not going home just to get a warm bed out of it, or anything. But my husband’s sister is a real bitch,” he turns away from me, swearing. “She wants the whole fucking thing, all of it.”

“I’m sorry,” I say.

He tells me he’s a drunk and a druggie, something about losing his son and in the car on the way home, his wife looks at him the same way I’m looking at hime (with teary eyes) and she says, “You know, I chose you over him.”

I never hear what happened to his son because he changes it up with a more lighthearted story about this girl named Kimberly, his girlfriend at the time, who took too many shrooms on Halloween.

“How many did you take, I say,” he says, “and she goes, oh I don’t know, 75. So I’m starting to get it. Me and my buddy, we can take up to 100, but it was her first time taking shrooms. So I turn to my buddy and I say, we wait for a bit, as soon as she starts to turn,” he points his thumb over his shoulder, “we high tail it out of there. Because, you know, you never know how somebody is gonna get. I know how I get.” And then he tells me he’ll answer the Big Question, he doesn’t want to, but he will. “Who did I love more, Kimberly or Denise? Denise, who had it all, the money, the nice house, everything? I’ll say I loved Kimberly more, because she… had… heart.”

He offers me a joint. Later he asks me if I smoke. I almost died, he says. We make jokes about his dad building a boat, him working on a shipyard, how the boats today... don’t function? I don’t really get it. “I wish I had that boat,” he points to a boat with people on it docked a few feet away from us. “Even though it’s shittier than the ones we used to build.” “You should just tell them to get off,” I tell him. “Yeah,” he laughs at the image, I laugh at it too. Then he gets all serious again. He almost died from an aneurysm when he was working behind a bar, and he says that’s when it all started falling apart. It’s not my fucking fault, he says, when can I catch a fucking break. I tell him it’s not your fault, meaning it.

“You’re an angel,” he says. “I know it when I see it. I’ll probably see you in heaven.” “I dont really believe in heaven,” I tell him, not to be a smart ass. I tell him that because I want him to convince me it’s real.

“Yeah.” he says. “I wish I could get a sign. I mean, any fucking sign will do. Anything.” He looks up at the sky. But tell me, seriously,” He looks at me. “Why are you so scared?”

“I’m not scared.” I tell him.

He looks at me for a while, then says, “You’re tired. You’re tired of being scared.” He looks at me some more. “But you don’t even know what you’re scared of, do you?”

I start to cry again, but no one around can see my eyes behind the sunglasses I’ve been wearing this whole time. He can though, he’s close enough. He looks at me through the dark lenses.

“It’s okay,” He says. “You’re an angel, I know it. You’re like Pamela Cooper (or some actress, I didn’t get his references. He called me Corey Hart earlier because of the sunglasses). You really are. I was young once. Life is so hard.”

“I have to go home to do an assignment,” I say.

“When are we gonna meet again?”

I give a big shrug, letting my hands drop so they slap my knees. “Around?” I guess.

“We’ll meet in heaven, he says. Because you’re an angel. I know it.”

“Good luck with your mom,” I tell him.

[adrenalineguide]

2021 Subaru Ascent Limited: Reliability over Glamour

Words and Pics By Michael Hozjan

Hard to imagine that it’s already three years since Subaru launched their eight-passenger Ascent, even harder to believe is how the eight passenger SUV market has grown in the same time period. Take a look around any shopping mall or big box store and you’ll quickly notice that three row seat SUVs have quickly replaced the minivan as the proverbial soccer mom vehicle.

Ford Explorer, Nissan Pathfinder, Dodge Durango, Kia Telluride and Hyundai Pallisade are just a few of the names competing for a piece of the three row market.  

New for 2021

In keeping up with the Joneses, Subaru has revised their flagship SUV with some mild upgrades, most notably is EyeSight with traffic jam assist and lane centering assist now added to their entire model range and not only the top tier models. Steering responsive LED projector headlamps are also standard for 2021.

Esthetically, Tungsten Metallic and Cinnamon Brown Pearl have been removed from the color pallet with Brilliant Bronze Metallic coming in. The Premier model adds another leather upholstery option: silver stitching on Slate Black.

The Second and third rows now get seatbelt reminders. I’m sorry Subaru you already have the most annoying seat belt chimes in the world that manage to send my blood pressure boiling each time I drive up my driveway to get to the mailbox.

The interior

Look, the Ascent has a fabulous interior, it’s plush, the dash is classier than most with the panoramic sunroof bringing in plenty of natural light, and fabulous for star gazing at night. It’s just the seat belt chimes. Second row captain’s chairs are now available in the Touring and Limited trim lines, and although Subaru claims seating for eight with the second row bench, I can not fathom three adults fitting into the third row, well, not in my family.  On the positive side, thanks to a decent forward sliding second row, egress and ingress to the last seat in the house however, is far easier than some of its competitors, most notably the Explorer.

The 8-inch infotainment screen (the entry level Convenience model still has the 6.5inch unit) has large on-screen icons that respond quickly to your touch and are easily located. Regardless of size or trim, they feature Subaru’s Starlink smartphone integration, which feature stolen vehicle immobilization, stolen vehicle recovery and security alarm notices on your phone. Front and middle row occupants get two USB ports per row, but if you want the rug rats in the third row to have ports, heated rear seats, memory driver’s seat, power passenger seat, you’ll have to spring for the Limited and Premier. Illuminated steering wheel audio controls are had across the board. GPS is only available on the Premier.

There’s 20 inches of cargo room or 17.8 cu.ft of cargo room with the third row up, 47.5 cu.ft. with it folded away. Drop the second row and you get 82.5 inches between the front buckets and the tailgate, good for 86.5 cu.ft. The second row captain’s chairs almost fold flat, something to consider if you plan on hauling a lot of gear. While on the topic of hauling the Subie comes into its own with a towing capacity of 2,270 kilos, a couple more than the Kia and beats the Explorer by over a hundred kgs.

On the road

There’s no new news when it comes to the powertrain. It’s the same 2.4-liter turbocharged boxer four cylinder that I wrote about last year. Producing 260 horses sounds anemic in the category but what the Ascent lacks in ponies it makes up in turbocharged torque, 277 lb.-ft. to be exact. Traction to the four wheels is provided by the company’s tried and proven CVT transmission. My tester also came with X-Mode to help you get out of the sticky stuff.  

The Ascent is a heavy vehicle and there’s a price to be paid for by relying on the four cylinder, that is not be the quickest out of the hole and it does get thirsty when pushed. Natural Resources Canada numbers place it at a decent 11.6 L/100 km city and 9.0 on the highway, with a 10.4 combined. My week-long drive with winter warm ups and mostly highway cruising returned a paltry reading of 12L/100 km.  

Above: There ‘s 17.8 cu.ft. of cargo room even with the last row in place

There is a compromise, what the Subie lacks in acceleration against the competition it makes up for with its low center of gravity thanks to the low slung engine and so it handles better than you would expect from such a large vehicle.

That said, I find the Ascent more at home on the highway. Going home on the 40 and then the 401 the Subaru is composed and comfortable. If you’re not a speed demon and just looking for a ride that inspires confidence when the weather gets iffy, than you needn’t look further.

The verdict

Subaru’s ace in the hole has always been its consistently high ratings with the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) and the 2021 Ascent has scored their Top Safety Pick+ award based on the previously mentioned additions to this model year not only for the EyeSight suite of safety aides but also the steering responsive LED headlamps.  

Prices start at $39,180 for the Convenience and climb to $53,683 for the top of the line Premier which is the only trim available with a front-view camera. Unlike some builders, there was no surcharge for my Brilliant Bronze Metallic paint.  With this year’s changes seen across the board, your choice of trim narrows down to just how much bling you want or need.

The Ascent may not be the trickest truck out of the box, it may not be the wildest looking, but what it is, is a reliable classy looking SUV that will get you from A to B with little fuss, and if the slew of Subaru loyalists is any indication of their quality…than ‘nuff said.

Price as tested: $50,783.00*

*Includes dealer prep and destination fees but does not include applicable taxes

[thesffcorner]

Emergency Contact

Emergency Contact is a contemporary novel written by Mary H K Choi. It follows 2 characters: Penny, a freshman at UTC who wants to be a writer, and Sam, a boy who works and lives in a coffee shop nearby and wants to be a documentarian. The two meet by accident, but when Sam has a panic attack that he mistakes for a heart attack, Penny helps him, and they become each other's emergency contacts. Soon however, both realize their relationship might be deeper than that. This was an odd novel: it started off pretty engaging, but lost a lot of the steam towards the middle, and though the ending picked up pace, the actual climax left me somewhat dissatisfied. However, even though my reading experience wasn’t great, there were still elements of this book I enjoyed a lot. It seems the book is pretty polarizing, and I think there are two main reasons for it, so without further ado, let’s talk about them. 

Writing: Writing is subjective, and as such I tend to avoid talking about it, unless it’s noteworthy. Well, here it’s definitely noteworthy. It’s what I like to call ‘quirky, modern prose’; think mumblecore in films, but in novel form. The characters are up to date with modern slang, jargon and internet culture, and as such they speak in a very exaggerated manner; when they text they use a lot of shortcuts, barely any punctuation, their thought process is very ‘raw’ and sometimes more than a little iffy with the jokes, and just in general it’s a style that I don’t think many people will like. It’s hard to explain without examples, so here are 2: “Okay, they weren’t full on frontal - bless. Mark was still sixteen, and Penny didn’t need the FBI landing at her college dorm for kiddie porn. They were risque though. Each went slightly beyond the treasure trail. [...] Penny was even sure he Facetuned at least one, which was a quality she simply could not respect in a man.” (pg. 14) “Oh my God, Penny. Stop being so emo. Are you going to make us talk about feelings?” asked Mallory “Seriously, you are so homeschooled sometimes” (pg 296) I dare you to show that to someone over the age of 40 and expect them understand any of it. There are several problems with this. First, I like a book that’s about teenagers, and sounds like what teenagers actually speak like. I’ve heard from people younger than me, who’ve read this book, and didn’t like it because of the way it’s written; they thought it didn’t sound authentic, and tried too hard. I personally didn’t find this to be an issue; I thought both Penny and Sam, as well as the rest of the characters for the most part spoke like people do today, but keep in mind I’m 24, and have been out of college for at least a couple of years. Second, and what actually bothered me, is that this style of writing was exhausting to read. On the one hand, seeing as we are trapped inside the heads of two incredibly anxious, over-thinkers, it made sense that their internal monologues were likewise overwritten and exhausting, but it made for a really unappealing reading experience. I shouldn’t feel like I’ve been run over by a tractor every time I read more than 2 paragraphs of a contemporary romance; a lot of the time it almost felt like Choi was writing on a dare to show someone how hip with the times she was. Which is fine, but I’d like to actually get to know Penny and Sam, without having to waddle through endless apathy and jargon. The third thing, which even I had some issues with, were the risque jokes. Look, I was a teen. I know how it was; you’d say whatever offensive thing comes to mind to get a reaction; it’s basically part of the universal adolescent experience. Except a) Penny is 18 and in college, and Sam is 21; and b) they are still risque jokes even if they are said ironically. It’s a catch 22; you want to subvert tropes and make fun of stereotypes, but you still have to write those tropes and stereotypes. So I completely understand why you’d be turned off by jokes about underage porn, calling men who cry ‘pussies’, calling people who are awkward ‘homeschooled’ or making racist and xenophobic jokes. It’s authentic, but it’s not fun to read. Characters: My last point about the writing, leads nicely into what I know a lot of people had issues with (and at points I did too) which were the characters. Let’s start with Penny. Penny is both very funny and infuriating to read from. At times she reminded me of myself when I was her age; constantly anxious, judgmental, with a superiority complex stemming from being the smartest and most read person in class, someone who doesn’t fit in and purposefully isolates herself even more to cope. To top it off, she has a strained relationship with her mother, an unpleasant experience with men, and generally prefers communication over text. There were so many things that she did and said that I just couldn’t stand, and a lot of them, were things I would’ve done and said when I was her age. As such, while I didn’t like Penny, I can’t say she isn’t a well written, well rounded, authentic character. This could lead into a bigger debate about protagonists, but in my opinion, the protagonist needs to be fully fleshed out and well written, more than they need to be likable, and this is especially true of female protagonists, since they are rarely allowed to be flawed. My issues with Penny were more that I didn’t feel like she changed by the end of the novel, and a lot of her flaws were never even addressed, let alone resolved, as well as some of her truly bad behavior. Like I said Penny is often judgmental, and the book implicitly sides with her, even though lots of times she’s blatantly wrong and draws conclusions based on stereotypes. A good example is the scene where she arrives at UTC, and a girl asks about her lipstick; I’m sorry, but when are we going to stop demonizing girls for enjoying make up? The girl is friendly and nice to her, and Penny still concludes she’s vapid and dumb because she asks about PENNY’S LIPSTICK. There’s a scene later on where she decides to meet Sam without the lipstick on, because I guess ‘that’s her authentic self’ and like fuck off. Wearing makeup doesn’t make you inauthentic or dumb, and you just KNOW, that if Penny were a boy, or a boy asked about her lipstick, y’all would be praising this book about how progressive it was. Then, there’s the whole subplot with Jude and Mallory. Mallory was equally as judgmental and annoying as Penny, so their rivalry was understandable, but Jude was nothing but nice and kind to Penny the whole book, and Penny repays her by hiding and lying to her about the one thing Jude asked her not to do. Jude calls her out on her behavior, and gets rightfully pissed, but then she still forgives both Penny and Sam so easily, even though they treat her like shit for the whole book. Moreover, I didn’t even get the sense that Penny was genuinely sorry to cause Jude pain, or felt bad for lying; she was just scared that Jude wouldn’t talk to her anymore, which was incredibly shitty and selfish, and the book never makes her face any real consequences for it. The same can be said about her relationship with her mother. All of her monologues, internal and otherwise, about how terrible her mother was just because she was hot, young, and flirts a lot were exhausting. I get that Penny was angry at her mother for trying to be her friend instead of parent, but you know what might help you solve that Penny? TALKING TO HER. This woman pays for your education, lets you choose exactly what you want to do, which is not something many people have the privilege of, clearly loves and cares about you, and has genuinely done nothing wrong, for you to hate her as much as you do. Especially, in comparison to Sam’s mother who is an actual monster. The fact that she drives to the hospital, and then doesn’t see her mother, constantly brushes off her calls and texts, doesn’t go to her ACTUAL BIRTHDAY was just ridiculously shitty behavior, and again, she never really gets called out on it, or suffers any consequences, even in the end when they have their big make up scene! The only thing I liked about that scene was Celeste calling out Penny’s behavior towards her peers; that she doesn’t have friends not because everyone hates her, but because she considers everyone beneath her because they don’t match up to her ridiculously high standards she holds everyone to. I wish someone told me that when I was her age, but man, was her character hard to read from. But honestly, Penny was a gem compared to Sam, who I wanted to punch multiple times. Beware, some SPOILERS about Sam inbound. First off, Sam is possibly the most unfortunate character I have ever read about in books; his backstory is so sad, so beyond dramatic, it was like he walked straight of the set for Days of Our Lives. He has an alcoholic and a hoarder mother, grew up perpetually poor, is constantly starving, is himself a borderline alcoholic and is still in love with a manipulative, abusive ex-girlfriend. There’s also false pregnancies, him failing out of community college to protect a Dreamer and panic attacks. That’s… waaay too much drama for one person. And to make matters worse, a lot of the issues Sam has, are self-inflicted, and it’s very hard to root for and sympathise with someone who consistently makes the wrong decision about everything. First off, Sam works in a coffee shop, and lives rent free in the attic of said coffee shop. The owner even pays him more than minimum wage, and lets him eat and drink coffee at the shop. And yet, Sam is constantly broke and starving, because he forgets to eat, doesn’t feel like it, has no money because he spent it on alcohol (even though he’s sober) or expensive dates with Lorraine. How am I supposed to root for him? He saves enough money to enroll in a documentary film-making class at a community college, and instead of using this as an opportunity to truly make a good documentary, get it to play at student festivals, and local film fests and connect with other artists in the area (since y’know, they live in AUSTIN), he shoots at the last minute, doesn’t get realizes until the ABSOLUTE last minute, and realizes that his subject and his mother are unregistered Dreamers. Are you telling me, that someone who was a FILM MAJOR doesn’t understand how releases work, and didn’t bother to check what the university’s policy on authorial rights are before he enrolled in the class? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? So he fails the class because he refuses to submit the film. He doesn’t DO anything with the film; we don’t find out if he intends to submit it to festivals, screen it, or anything of the sort he just fails the class because he’s either the stupidest director ever or the most noble guy in Austin. Then there’s Lorraine. Oh boy. Firstly, Sam’s absolute obsession with Lorraine was infuriating. I don’t find it fun or engaging to read about someone who is so naive and thoroughly manipulated, and I am forced to watch them endure an abusive, self-destructive relationship for chapters on end. Sam doesn’t love Lorraine; he’s obsessed with her. It’s not ‘love’ to know absolutely everything about the other person, and expect them to do the same; it’s not love to be completely codependent on the other person. As much as Lorraine was a bad person, so was Sam because he refused to see how destructive his behavior and their relationship was to him. Then, there’s the pregnancy. Why was it in the book? It’s fake, so there are no real consequences. Abortion is immediately dismissed as an adoption, even though objectively neither of the two are capable of being parents, with Lorraine refusing to go to an OBGYN, drinking though she might be pregnant and generally acting like the spoiled brat she is, and Sam having 17 dollars to his name, no real job, no prospects and no sense of responsibility. Sam could’ve easily realized his relationship to Lorraine was toxic without involving a potential child, and honestly his belief that a) Lorraine would somehow change or want him back, or won’t cheat on him just because of the baby and b) that her ridiculously rich and prejudiced family would allow him anywhere near that baby were borderline delusional. But the thing that pissed me off the most about Sam, was that he doesn’t get any resolution! We never find out what he does about his alcoholic mother, or the massive debt she had incurred in his name, there’s no comment on the fact that because of that he’d never be able to get a credit card, lease an apartment or buy a car; since he fails his course we never find out what he wants to do next or if he still wants to be a filmmaker, we never find out what happens with the documentary. All we get is that he’s now dating Penny. Yay. Some Good Things: I did gives this book 3 starts, so here are some good things. I liked Penny’s writing class and her professor, as well as what we see from their class discussions about who gets to write whose story. I also enjoyed Penny’s Anima story and the Korean couple; I thought the connection between the virtual baby and her phone being a metonymy for Sam was great. Andy was also cool, and I liked the banter he has with Penny; he was smart and funny, and I appreciated that we actually got some female-male friendships in this book. Jude and Mallory were also great; I especially liked Mallory’s speech about cows and mothers, and that she was presented as a confident if a bit overbearing person. Bastian was also cool, as were his mother and buddies. I enjoyed the fact that he was this boy trying to prove he was a man, but he was also a talented artist. I honestly wish the book had more to do with him and Sam, than Sam’s actual main plot. Speaking of Sam, I did like that he cried, was vulnerable and had hobbies that aren’t stereotypically male, while also being very much a man. He has tattoos and they are shown to be cool instead of ‘edgy’; I think the last time I saw that was probably Divergent. Yikes. Conclusion: Again, I find myself only half-recommending a book. There are good things in here; it’s just that the reading experience wasn’t great, and some of the character drama went a bit too far for it to be believable. If you think you’d have issue with any of the things I mentioned then skip this book; but if you don’t mind any of it, then you very well might love this. It’s a polarizing novel for a reason.

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