#sorry if I made you sad

[queerghostboy]

first time making an edit be nice please

[born-to-riot]

Messaging you... like this?

Any quote? "The games you play you would always win"- Set fire to the rain. And ship… Anything with Eris, preferably Azriel (or if you have a lot of it in your brain, do Cassian x Eris), please

Hope Azris is okay, and uh warning it’s sad and major character death ✌️

Request by: @hieragalbatorixdottir

——————

Azriel has been lying on the top of his roof, face down, head pillowed on his arms, here in the pouring rain for hours now.

He is aware that this may seem dramatic but he can’t seem to bring himself to care. He doesn’t think he can…. He doesn’t even know... All he does know is that he wasn’t expecting it to hit him like this.

They weren’t supposed to understand each other. He wasn’t supposed to fall for him.

It's not like the Mother destined them for each other. They were enemies, they had been for a long time. So why does he feel hollow, why are his insides all numb, why can’t he see past this moment, right here, soaking in the cool downpour.

Azriel’s wings automatically were raised above to let the rain pour off them, but that didn’t stop the water from reaching his hair or pooling underneath him, it's like they were pointless, he was pointless. What was the point anyway…why is he here, why can’t he move?

What is the point of being able to fly? Of being able to communicate with his shadows? What’s the point if he wasn’t able to do what mattered in the end.

Azriel inhales deeply and lets out an involuntarily shaky exhale, there's not much his body can do against the plummeting temperatures of the rain and the subzero levels of his mood and motivation.

He lifts his head up just a miniscule amount from where he had it pillowed in his arms, just enough so he could shift the positioning of his head to the left, then lays it back down, hair sopping wet and hanging over his eyes. It doesn’t cover it all though, there is still a sliver of light peeking through the dark curtain, just enough for his red stained hazel eyes to make out the crumpled piece of papyrus, its ink long washed away by the rain.

It doesn’t matter, he thinks as he closes his eyes, as he closes the soaked piece of paper into his fist, ignoring how the added pressure makes it fold into itself even more into a soggy pile of scrap, as he pushes his face back into his arms, forcing himself back into darkness, hoping maybe he’ll never have to go back.

How can he come back from this? He can tell his shadows are whispering in his ears trying to tell him something, he can’t bring himself to listen. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to listen to them again. Not after the news they just gave him. Not after the poison they dripped into his consciousness.

Azriel just can’t stop thinking about the perfectly printed scrawl of ink left on the piece of papyrus, the one that’s long been ruined and warped by the rain, molded to his fingers. He wishes the rain could wash away his memories too, that way he can see something else other than the repeated visions of the words that used to be.

My Shadowsinger, I’m afraid we’ve flown a bit too close to the sun, my heart will always be yours, but it seems my spirit is no longer ours to keep.

How did it even come to this point? Why did it feel like he had been felled with his own blade? Why can’t Azriel find the will to live on in a world where Eris Vanserra no longer walks? A world where Eris Vanserra no longer smiles, no longer talks?

How is Azriel supposed to get up, how is he supposed to progress? The tiny thing he stumbled upon with Eris, the relationship they both nurtured between their intertwined hands, its still alive in his chest. What is he to do when he looks for the other, when he reaches out for him, but is inevitably met with nothing but a ghost.

His family doesn’t know, he never bothered to tell them, if he couldn’t understand it himself how could he begin to hope that they might. It's hard to explain how barbed words shifted into playful teasing, how sheer hatred morphed into a cruel understanding.

How was it that Eris Vanserra was able to provide Azriel the exact inexplicable support and company he was craving? Azriel supposes he’ll never have a chance to find an answer… not after the shadows whispered to him of Eris’ death moments after he received his last letter.

Would he have been able to change anything? Would he had been able to prevent it? Would Eris have let him try?

Azriel, for the first time in hours, feels something other than the never ending numbness that had settled over his body ever since he collapsed on the ground with that stupid piece of papyrus in his hand. It's the stinging heat of anger filling him, the steam of fury.

How dare he? How dare he let himself take a risk and not cue in Azriel, how dare he leave him? How dare he force Azriel into solitude again, a world where no one understands. Fucking Vanserras, Azriel thinks, fists tightening. He feels the need to fight but there is no enemy in sight, nothing tangible he can destroy, no escape for the rage. There’s nothing.

How is he supposed to accept that?

Azriel remains in the same position, lying face-down and vulnerable in the pouring rain. He’s soaking, he’s wet, he’s cold. His body shivers anew with each fresh droplet of the ice-cold downpour, his mind is reeling.

Eris would always win their little games, always. He hates to call this tragedy a game, he does. But as Azriel ignores the pleading whispers of his shadows, his skin shriveling under the never-receding pool of water, and his future looking nothing other than dim.

Azriel can’t help but think to himself, looks like Eris has won again.

[booksandrandomfandoms]

Tagged by @themelodyofspring for my Lock Screen, my last photo, and my last song

My Lock Screen has been the Once Upon A Broken Heart art work flatironbooks posted on their Instagram when they were promoting the first book on the series 😅 I was waiting for them to do ballad of never after but 🤷‍♀️

Cheating a little bit to use a better quality but my last photo is of the plant arrangement we’re taking to my uncles funeral tomorrow… he passed away on Friday and yea things have been kind of hard since it’s my moms baby brother (he was 59) 🥲

And my last song feels like a bad choice based on what I mentioned above but I just put this album on shuffle for my drive home from work on Sunday and that’s what was playing when I parked… but I do really recommend Against the Current I love them so much and I’ll get to see them in concert at the end of the month 😆 but the song is called Come Alive

Tagging anyone who wants to share

[lungthief]

sometimes u just gotta remind yourself that while ace attorney is about law and justice and stuff it is also about a bunch of young adults living in [CALIFORNIA]

[blue-sled]

so my phone is charger breaking

the end of the wire is starting to break in I just kinda felt sad. It’s hard to explain but at the same time, maybe it’s not. I’ve noticed it more and more over the years. I’m constantly losing things. Maybe something insignificant, or maybe something I hold dear. But I’m always losing things. And this charger that I can see slowly slipping away is giving me an existential crisis because of it. I’ve had it for a year or two and I’ll probably have to replace it but it’s been one of the few constants in my life for the past while. I guess I feel like I’ll miss the charger maybe. Or maybe I’m just sad in general but maybe it’s time to let go, get a new charger, a new constant in my life.

[creative-clawmarks]

Just outside the [ANGEL]'s line of sight,

two puppets recognize each other.

[kidovna]

manifested mileven at the snowball in 2016, so now I’m manifesting byler at senior prom🪻🌻

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[nipuni]

Casanova sketches!

[timethehobo]

Once again thinking about Emmy during those weeks when Rook was gone. The angst potential. 👌

[bubblingsteam]

[nouverx]

Day 5 and Day 6 of Radiostatic Week

Free day (Picture) and one sided attraction. Seems like purple doesn't suit Alastor...

[heartorbit]

lets run to a new world together! ✨

[teaboot]

tranny freak :)

[thekenobee]

Then fall in lads behind the drum With colours blazing like the sun Along the road to come what may Over the hills and far away

[glitter-stained]

Dc writers be like yeah sorry this character was doomed by the narrative there was nothing we could do, like my brother in christ you ARE the narrative