#sorry i'm getting sick so i'm really tired

[blanketforcas]

(mild negativity ahead!)

oh that urge to be able to sit jackles down and explain that queer castiel doesn’t hinge on reciprocated destiel. the angel is gay regardless of how dean feels!

i think the two — queer!cas and fully canon destiel — are so intertwined in his head and that’s why he feels the need to try to explain away the gay whenever he talks about castiel’s feelings and describes them as otherworldly/heavenly/not lustful or romantic etc because he’s so intent on his straight interpretation of dean.

it’s frustrating because unfortunately the way he talks about it undermines cas’ character growth and an arc that is very obviously extremely meaningful and important to misha and a lot of fans

(ask inspired by your tags here: https://blanketforcas.tumblr.com/post/735811813423349760/they-really-missed-the-opportunity-for-cas-to-say)

i have complicated feelings about the why of it all and also go back & forth on it sometimes, so i'll just post your ask as is

[momentomori24]

I don't believe liking immoral and downright evil characters says anything about you as a person, but I think acting like this definitely does.

"The HH fanbase will defend Valentinoto the moon and back" this and "Val is praised by a majority of the fandom" that, except said majority of the fandom fucking HATES that moth and fans have been harassed, had their art scribbled on to "fix" it, repeatedly called "rapist apologists" and "abuse romanticisers", get questioned or accused about condoning him irl, received graphic death/rape threats and are in general mistreated by the fandom. A Val cosplayer was mistreated and had a gun pulled on them IN REAL LIFE not even a year ago. Even the VA got repeatedly asked or assumed to be like the character he plays because "why else would he want to voice a rapist??" and told they deserve for choosing that role (fucking WILD btw). People that like Valentino as a character are the minority of the fandom, and even there NO ONE defends him. We all realise he's a disgusting individual whose actions shouldn't be defended in any capacity. What kinda bullshit lie is that?

I'm also in the Mouthwashing fandom, and it too has a bunch of issues. Infantilising Curly and minimising his actions, making Swansea to be better than he actually is and ignoring that he knew of the SA, people still debating or not realising that Jimmy raped Anya in the first place, shipping Jimmy and Curly (which isn't even a bad thing or a real problem but this person would see it that way), ect. But sure, conveniently don't bring that up. Anything for the Hazbin Hotel hate, right 💀

These next comments especially piss me off (nevermind how they're talking about an abuse survivor which is gross already). This might be a hot take and I don't care if that's the case, but I think people refusing to call Jimmy by name and excluding him from the cast is not show of a "good" fandom, actually. Jimmy has a lot more to him besides being a rapist. Rape culture, toxic masculinity, capitalistic exploitation, misogyny, male dominance-- there's sooo much more to explore and discuss about his character besides him being a rapist. And he's an incredibly disturbing character in a fucking horror game. If you can only refer to him by some stupid nickname (which takes away the seriousness of his character imo), ignore the significance of his role and themes in the story and the rest of his character and reduce him to a single trait that's BAD. That's not a good thing, and in fact, probably makes you worse than the people that do like his character because they can at least separate fiction and reality and not scrap well written disturbing characters for the sake of "comfort" or moral standing (again, in a horror game of all things). People shouldn't feel bad for liking Jimmy because he's a very good character, and ignoring that completely and acting like there aren't people who could like him... kinda sucks?

Moving over, Valentino is not and has NEVER been portrayed in a positive light in the show. I can't wrap my head around people that genuinely think that. Whenever I hear people say that the arguments I always see are "he shouldn't be attractive" and "he's just a cartoon villain" and "he acts silly and quirky even tho he's a rapist" among other things, and I don't think these people realise they're spouting eugenics bullshit and demonstrating that they don't know anything about his character simultaneously. No, Valentino isn't a "positive" portrayal of a rapist because he's attractive (way to tie morality to appearance btw). No, Valentino isn't a positive portrayal of a rapist because he acts goofy and funny and silly. Those traits are intentional and important to his character. Val is the Overlord of lust and depravity, hell's most famous pimp. His beauty is how he lures in unsuspecting sinners, and his personality is how he gains their trust and gets them to sell their souls for him to exploit (notice how Angel signed his soul away willingly). He's supposed to be appealing. He's supposed to be charming. He's entire persona is meant to be disarming. If he were like Jimmy or just a one-note unlikeable guy, his position in the show and his relationships with the characters wouldn't make sense, so he isn't. That doesn't make him a more positive portrayal or anything, it just means he's more fleshed out and written more complex than you want him to be. He's a very real depiction of an abuser, of their two-faced nature and how being attractive and charming to others doesn't make you less of an abusive monster to someone else. For context, I have been abused by someone extremely similar to Val, so his depiction feels very real to me and it's extremely tiring seeing a bunch of assholes who have probably not even seen the show or have been abused act like he's "romanticised" or "unrealistic" or "bad" simply because he was written by Vivziepop (who's ALSO an SA survivor like what is wrong with you 💀).

This is a broader point and not entirely related to this specific case, but we don't give people shit like this over people liking murderers and serial killers-- acting like all a sudden liking a rapist character says something negative about their writing or about the people that like them is INCREDIBLY stupid. People don't talk like this about Alastor and Vox-- who are both VERY despicable people. Both of them are also abusers among other horrible things, but they're not (or at least Alastor isn't) rapists so they're "not as bad". This is a sentiment I see all the time in both the fandom and hatedom whenever Valentino discourse comes back up, and this line of logic that rapists are a unique evil that can't be liked as characters in fiction but murderers and cannibals and serial killers are totally Ok is so dangerous and backwards. Liking evil characters says nothing about you as a person aside from the fact that you're a freak in the fun way. Liking evil characters but then going after others who do as well because you consider their character "too evil" and watering down the crimes of yours to justify liking them says a lot about you tho. Saying that the characters you like says something negative you in general does too.

We seriously need to stop bringing morality into fiction and saying that "normal" people wouldn't like certain immoral characters. We need to stop ostracising people for their "problematic" ships, proudly brag about ostracising them and justify it by calling them "weirdos". We need to stop saying villains are "badly written" because they're not written how YOU want them to be written, regardless of whether or not that opinion is valid (which in this case it isn't). We need to stop putting fandoms in some weird competition with each other about how characters are written and spit on people who actually enjoy them, are comforted by them or felt seen by them (gestures at the whole Angel dust situation barely a week ago). And honestly we need to stop giving attention to people like this, who spread a false narrative and kick others down for being fans of a media they don't like or know squat about for whatever reason. Who spread lies about the media or fandom in question in way that's blatantly in bad faith.

This crappy post is sitting a 17k while I'm typing this. The way people can just say ANYTHING about Hazbin Hotel and its fandom-- doesn't matter if it's valid or true or if they watched the show or know anything about the fandom at all, it just has to be negative-- and others will eat it up no questions asked needs to be studied at this point. We saw that in the months the show first aired. We saw that with the Angel Dust video. We're seeing this again here. I don't think we should be harassing anybody over fiction and in general (and needless to say don't harass any of these people) but calling out bad actors who pull shit like this more often and making it uncool to shittalk Hazbin Hotel and its fandom (and any fandom from unapologetically dark media where the people deal with enough bullshit already) for no reason and in bad faith is a change I'd be down with. Like, wash your mouth of its name and disappear into the shadow realm, goddamnit.

[lee-blogs]

Still packing stuff and now i'm looking for a box for this.

My dad and i made it a few years ago for halloween, probably 2015/16 if i'm remembering right. It's made from a lays can, a wipes container from his work, and paper maché. I don't remember what the wires and front metal bits are from, but the middle actually lights up! It has one of those long battery-powered emergancy lights in it and some colored tissue paper

[moonlit-orchid]

When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

[chirsu]

Page Five of When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Manuel J. Smith, Ph.D. that I bought at a thrift store.

I am using the cut-up technique and going page by page.

[umemiyan]

does your doc not understand how necessary your meds are for you? like what’s the hold up? they need to stop playing around…

apparently the fuck not <333333333 apparently it's just a game to them <333 and i can't drive and show up there right now and demand to speak to someone because i'm trying to work even though i have a constant headache and brain fog on top of all my usual ADHD symptoms <333

i hate being a karen or looking like a fucking junkie, but what if these were meds that were even more vital to my health? like insulin or heart meds or something like that? would i just have to sit here and hope to not fucking end up in the hospital? i'm so tired of this ridiculous shit. and i can't have it filled a whole week ahead of time or anything to try and be safe because it's a fucking controlled substance and they won't let me. so guess i'll just suffer!!! especially if they don't get it in by today because it's friday <33 i'll have to be like this all weekend while trying to work while they have their nice days off :)

[kalicocoa]

An Announcement on the State of Night Rule

So I’ve been struggling with how to say these things and I finally just need to get it off my chest. I think I’ll feel better after finally speaking about things, so here we go!

After today, I will not be participating in the Project SEKAI fanbase outside of finishing my fanfiction, Night Rule!

I’ve had a lot of unsavory experiences with people in this fanbase that were behind closed doors in a way. (Discord Servers, Private Messages, etc.) Making a big stink out of things will only reflect poorly on me as past experience has proven to me, so I’d rather just let sleeping dogs lie and remove myself from the equation without making an enormous post about those things.

I don’t feel very safe when interacting with people anymore and more often than not I’m hurt by unnecessary hostile behavior toward me. Hostility that ranged from disagreeing on meaningless headcanons to straight up bigotry at my expense. (I quite literally watched as some passionate readers of my fic turned on me immediately upon learning I was a person of color. I don’t feel good about this and I never will either.)

However, Night Rule will be completed. I plan to finish it, even if my motivation is practically abysmal lately. I have love for my story and the completed outline I worked so hard on, but I do not feel well writing this story for people that ultimately think little of me as the creator.

That being said, updates will be extremely scarce from this point onward. Hopefully at least once a month, but I can’t promise this due to my current mental health state. You’re getting this fanfiction for free and it’s a work that has brought a lot of aggression toward me as a person, so you can be reasonable and accept that it will update as much as it will on my terms. Hope that’s understood, because if it isn’t, that’s something you’ll have to deal with on your own I’m afraid.

Night Rule was a creation of my own personal passion for Proseka and its cast, fit with my favorite fantasy tropes and ideas I had been dying to use in a story for years. For this reason, it’s much too special to me to abandon and I plan to keep this as a thing for me before I worry about how much people love or hate it.

I recommend that if you only follow me for Project SEKAI, you should probably unfollow me now! I will not be sharing posts of it anymore and the only things related to Proseka that will be posted will be updates on this fic and reblogged fanworks of Night Rule if people continue to make those. I’ll still be playing the game on occasion, but I will not be talking about it on here casually from here on out.

Where I plan to go from here, I’m not really sure. I still have things that I enjoy, so I plan to keep writing and reblogging things that I like. Maybe I’ll move on to the next big interest. Maybe I’ll disappear someday. Who knows. We’ll figure it out when we get there.

But the point remains, this chapter of my life is coming to a close, and the end of Night Rule will be the end of my involvement in this fanbase for good.

Thank you for understanding! See you on the flip side. (❁´◡`❁)

[apatheticlexicographer]

to be completely honest, the stranger things fandom has damn near ruined the show for me lmfao

[jeongjinman]

.

[running-in-the-dark]

well I can already tell this is gonna be a bad night

today has just been fucking weird and hard. I'm in a bad mood. everything feels bad. (probably not helped by me not taking the new antidepressant last night so I wouldn't sleep all day)

the plan was for my friend to come over this weekend to help me pack. she did that last time and it helped a lot. (my husband could help, obviously, but he's in charge of other things that also need to get done. plus he's very bad at putting things into boxes.)

but the rail strike is still going on so it's likely that she won't be able to get here (or get back in time). so now that's suddenly a lot more stressful and the one thing that I thought would make it go okay is gone.

and I also have to like. at least reread my thesis a few times or whatever to study for the oral exam on Friday. which will make me want to die. because it is bad. so. that will be bad. and the thought of being asked questions about that piece of garbage for 30 fucking minutes is so horrifying that I genuinely do not know if I will be able to get through it without taking my Lorazepam beforehand (which I know is a horrible idea, and my psychiatrist told me twice that it's a bad idea, and I know it would just make me unbelievably stupid. but holy shit that is the scariest thing I can imagine.)

and of course instead of doing anything useful I'm now just sitting here feeling like shit (like last night, only worse)

[hooved]

i know everyone's told me to rest because i'm sick but i just can't. it doesn't feel right. i need to do everything i can rn because i'm scared that any second we'll be told to get out NOW

[thisfairytalegonebad]

*thinks about the fact that i have to write tonight*

*starts sobbing*

[loregoddess]

you know, for the most part my asthma is very under control and not too much of a bother, but heavens forbid some dust gets blown around by high winds and then I get sick with a chest cold bc my immune system was too busy causing allergies over the dust instead of doing its actual job and then I can barely go up or down a flight of stairs without losing my breath

[astrxealis]

its hard for me to listen to 'our light' bcs wnvr i do i always look at the lyrics again and i just want to cry so badly

[fadebolt]

Feeling a lil down today.

My head fricking hurts like crazy, the summer temperature pretty much dropped into winter temperature seemingly overnight, and there's a ton of drama and vitriol going through the Rain World community.... again.

You know, I've recently watched Inside Out 2 (amazing movie btw, would recommend), and it had many scenes and moments that really connected with me, but one that particularly came back today was Joy's "Of course I'm delusional!" rant.

Cus I've had that feeling a lot during my time in the community. Of course, when things don't affect you personally, you can kind of just brush them off and stay joyful, and happy, and positive. But sometimes, things just get so excessive that you just.... can't. You simply can't just sit back and happily relax while you're in a room filled with people violently screaming at each other, all of whom are people you don't want to see getting hurt.

I know a lot of people do manage just tune it out, and move past it, but I just..... I just can't. I often convince myself that it's really no big deal, and no one actually cares, and everything will be back to normal immediately, and we're never ever getting into messy situations again.

And it always turns out that I'm just completely delusional, and I just have to face the reality that none of those things are true.

I have watched YouTube drama videos, but I was never feeling any investment or anger towards what was going on. It was always just for curiosity's sake, and I would generally walk away thinking "Audience be overreacting, but the YouTuber response be horrid, and them getting exposed be good".

But unfortunately, it's a lot harder to think so nonchalantly about these things when it's happening to a game/community you are heavily invested in. It happened constantly in LoL's community - I hated it and moved to Rain World, only for it to follow me here.

It's getting pretty exhausting, and I'm honestly starting to contemplate if it's even worth staying in the community, as everyone seems to be forgetting that we're here to relax and have fun and escape from the struggles and annoyances of our day-to-day lives.

I don't know if this is just a side effect of everybody being either in their early twenties or late teens, cus I don't see these types in things in communities where everyone is older, such as Warcraft 3's. But if there's one thing I've learned is that at such a young age, we should absolutely not be thrown under the responsibility of managing and moderating hundreds/thousands of people, or to act as deciding forces in serious and heavy matters. After all, I'm also in my early twenties, and I know for a fact that I'd perform quite horribly in these kinds of situations (hence why I don't directly address them, ever).

Maybe it's best to just block and blacklist and ignore, and only interact with folks who are fully positive all the time - but just think about how much that would be, when you consider how many people post about politics, how many notes and reblogs the drama posts usually get, and how at times, even the mods of the official Discord server have shown extreme biases and vitriol. I'd love to retreat into a room where the atmosphere is fully nice and quiet all the time, but frankly, I don't think such a room exists.

I don't know. Maybe I should still stick around, cus this might be the last one.

Please please please please please please please please pleeeeeaaaaassseeeeee be the last one!!!!

[bilestat]

hoping and praying they made so many quality of life upgrades to the answer remake because my god am i suffering right now with this fucking game