#sorry i'm getting sick so i'm really tired

[yougavememyopia]

Tags: Loser stalker fem reader, cocky mean dom yandere, dubcon 18+, choking, lot of force, grinding

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"What the fuck are you doing?"

You jumped, flinching so hard that made your spine hurt. Cursing under your breath, you hesitantly turned back to look at the familiar face.

Jun was standing there with his arms crossed, glaring at you with scolding eyes. Every day, you hid behind the corner that faced the field. It was mostly empty except for the cute artsy kid that sat there. He would lean against the tree, sketching, and you would be there watching his profile.

"Um..." Your words died down in your throat. Jun could easily tell what you were doing. Stalking a poor boy who had no idea his classmate was obsessed with him. "Hi?"

"Hi?" He repeated unamused, stepping closer to corner you against the wall. "You've been avoiding me. You're not answering any of my texts. I said I wanted to have lunch with you today, but you ditched me to do this?"

You stood there. You would feel guilty, but your brain was too busy searching for excuses or ways to explain this situation. This looked back. Really bad.

A few moments passed with you looking at the floor, feeling the cold wall behind you. Jun clicked his tongue, shifting his gaze from you to the boy in the field.

You exhaled, trying to think of a way to preserve your dignity. "I know it's wrong... It's creepy and weird. But you have to understand-"

"Oh, I understand. I get it. You're trying to find love. Isn't that right?"

"Uh... I guess that's the end goal. But-"

He interrupted you again. "You're tired of being lonely and isolated. Which is why you're pushing the person who wanted to be your friend away."

"No, that's not..." You paused. "Sorry.."

"Instead of being with me, you're choosing that clumsy, pathetic piece of-"

You interrupted him this time. "Ethan. His name is Ethan. And he's perfect. He keeps to himself most of the time, just like me. We have a lot in common..."

He went quiet for a second, uncrossing his arms and putting them in his pocket. "You completely ruined my plans, y'know... I was trying so hard to take all of this slow. I was gonna have lunch with you, eventually ask you out on a date, and go from there. While you were here doing the same thing to another boy."

You blinked. Was he confessing to you? You were suspicious when the golden boy of the school wanted to be your friend, and now this?

"Excuse me?"

"Oh yeah. I was gonna bring you to your favorite café and treat you. But you clearly don't want all that normal healthy stuff, huh?"

"Uhh.." You just looked at him, looking from his gorgeous eyes to his flawless hair. Then, to the strong looking arms that came up to the wall behind you. "You're kidding."

"But I'm afraid that my intentions weren't all that pure. I was going to give you so much that you'll completely become dependent on me. And I could have you as mine forever."

"Were you stalking me? Is that how you found me here?" You slowly said, a bit unsure.

"Such a smart girl." Jun praised, bringing a hand to cup your cheek, caressing his thumb against your skin. "I'm just as sick as you."

You gripped his wrist, stopping him. "I need to think about this first."

"What is there to think about? Forget about that shy mutt. I'm so much better than him. What else could you possibly ask for?"

You shook your head, pushing his shoulders weakly. "No. Just move away..!"

"I get it. You need more convincing."

And just as he said that, his lips crashed into yours. He forced a kiss on you and grabbed the back of your head. He guided you to kiss him back, using your hair to manipulate you like a puppet. You stood there and let it happen, your hands moving down to press against his chest.

He licked your bottom lip, which you kept closed. You were unsure of what to make of this situation.

"Just open your mouth, okay? I want to kiss you deeper." He tilted his face to the right and forced you to tilt yours the other way. "I don't like repeating myself. Don't make me force you. I'm trying to prove a point here. You're mine, whether you like it or not. You wanted something unhealthy, well here it is."

You didn't want to oblige. There was something inside you that wanted to fight him. You gasped as Jun tugged your hair harshly, catching you by surprise. His tongue invaded your mouth. You tried to pull away, but your back was against the wall. There was nowhere to go. You started to like how he forced you to this. You wanted to be kissed since a long time ago. Just hadn't expected it to be from the overly confident and arrogant jerk.

His tongue moved around skillfully. You unintentionally moaned, feeling him smirk against your lips. The weird sensation felt good. You slowly closed your eyes and kissed back, shyly moving your tongue against his. His other hand went down to rest on your waist. He pulled you closer to him. Your bodies slightly rubbed against each other.

You were out of breath. Panting, still wanting to kiss him more. He tasted so so good. Like cherries. Maybe he ate some before this.

"You still there, sweetie? You look dazed. Was it that good?" Jun chuckled. He knew the effect he had on you. "I told you. I'm the greatest choice you'll ever make."

"I can't believe this..." That was all you could mumble. Your heart still throbbed for Ethan, but it wasn't really an option anymore. This was... something else. Something you could get used to. "I can't believe it..."

"I know, you're very lucky. Not everyone has an amazing, skillful boyfriend. Soon, you'll be addicted to me and my kisses."

He stroked the back of your hair, almost apologizing for pulling it before. Before you could protest against the term, he kissed you again, rubbing his tongue against yours lewdly. You obliged, not thinking much of it. It felt too good to pass up on.

"Want me to you some of these skills?" He whispered in your ear, blowing air on it. You squeaked, and he chuckled. "Your reactions are so cute, darling. I want to see more. I want more of you. Your taste, your smell, your everything. You're mine. I can just take whatever I want, right?"

Jun clicked his tongue in impatience. He started to kiss down your neck, his fingers intertwining with yours as he pinned them against the wall. "I wanted to take things slow. Even after all this. But I feel like you need a bit more convincing, hm?"

He licked a spot of your skin before biting down on it. You hissed in pain as he continued to angrily mark you. It seemed like he was jealous of what happened earlier. He sucked the spots he bit for a moment before pushing his thigh between your legs. "I swear if you lie eyes on that guy again, I'll cut his legs off."

You felt dizzy. All this was too much for you. Your head was spinning, and you felt really good. Small hushed moans spilled from your lips when his knee rubbed you up and down. His hands sneaked up your shirt, hands caressing whatever skin he could find. "There we go. I can tell you're enjoying it. I mean.. Naturally."

You could feel his eyes bore on you, but you barely looked at him. Drowning in ecstasy while he kissed you again and again. You felt yourself getting closer to the edge. You gripped his shirt, clenching it in your fist.

He passionately kissed you again as you came, moaning into his mouth. He slowed down before stopping. A grin on his face. He looked so hot like this.

"Good girl! Oh sweetie~ Look how hard you made me."

You look down to see the buldge forming in his jeans. He rubs it against your thigh, trying to provoke more reactions out of you.

"Aww, you're shaking... Could it be you actually want to touch it?" He teased, rubbing it higher to your still sensitive spot.

"W-what? Nngh.. No! I never even agreed to be your girlfriend." He grips one of your wrists, putting it on the front of his pants. You yelp, trying to stop him. "No! Stop. We're in public!"

You paused at the realization. You tried to think of how loud you were, but the image just sent pleasure back to your core.

"We're behind an isolated corner. No one will find us here. My darling certainly knows how to pick the right places."

You look back at the tree, the boy was gone, and the field was completely empty. You breathed a sigh of relief. As you were distracted, Jun began to unbutton his jeans, pulling it down. You turned back to see him pulling his cock out.

"What are you doing? Put it back in." You whisper-yelled. "Don't show it to me-"

He chuckled, letting go of your wrist to cup your hand. He wrapped your hand around his throbbing shaft. You gasped at the feeling. His size was impressive just like everything else about him.

"Shit..." You mumbled, watching him stroke himself with your hand.

"All you protests just died down. What, are you enjoying it?"

"Augh, I won't bother denying it." You began stroking him out of your own will, feeling the precum rolling down to your fingers. "You're gonna make a mess..."

"Why don't you clean it up for me, darling?"

"Fuck no. We shouldn't do something like this so early. It can ruin the relationship."

"So there is a relationship." He mused, his hands trailing up and down your thigh. You groaned again, stopping your movement.

"I changed my mind."

Jun hummed in amusment, he brought his face to your neck, licking at the spots he bit. "You're mine. You can't change that fact. It's taking everything in me to just not take you right here..."

He brought himself to your clothed sex, rubbing himself harshly against you. "I'll eventually have you. You can't escape from me. So unless you want to become my prisoner any time soon, you better help me calm down."

"I said no! You can't make me."

He groaned in frustration. In a quick motion, he pulled down your pants, roughly shoving everything down. You helplessly stood there, your attempts to push him away failing. You weren't trying that hard any way. Maybe because you were excited.

"Oh, I'm not putting it in."

You looked up at Jun, confused. "Huh?" Your question was answered when he began to rub his length along your slit. You bit your lip. "Seriously? Just this?"

"Yes. Seriously." Jun grunted when you squeezed your thighs around his shaft. He moved against you, picking up the speed. Your legs felt like jelly. "This is all you get for denying your boyfriend."

You whimpered, feeling your clit being stimulated. It was enough to make you come a second time when you felt him squeeze your throat. "Yeah, there you go. You're so much easier to please than I thought you'd be." He laughed, grinding a couple more times before releasing his load. You both panted, and he rubbed the spots on your neck gently.

"Mmh, let's clean up first, darling. And then we'll have some lunch." He patted your head, mumbling praises as he kissed your lips. "You're mine now. There's no room for arguments. Better behave if you don't wanna be tied up and locked away."

[beembeem]

Hi! Can I request aizawa x adoptive daughter or student reader, who is really quiet around aizawa, because she has daddy issues and struggles being around aizawa because he's so kind? Maybe some comfort?

Hi chat! It's been a long time sorry about that!( ＞Д＜；) I recently made a huge move to a different state, started a new school and got sick a bunch(ToT) so this fic isn't the best but someday I'll redo it because I really like the request! Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed! Feel free to leave a request

Tw: implied aɓuse and child neglect

You stood in front of your teachers desk, fiddling with your skirt. "Could you repeat yourself y/n?" He looked up from his stack of papers, and his tired gaze met you. You tensed and stuttered out your request. Aizawa raised his eyebrows and let out a "huh?" Before leaning forward in his chair. "C-can I sit in here to eat?" You whispered a bit louder."Chairs are empty. Do what you want." He motioned towards the desk before focusing on the papers in front of him. "You waiting for someone?" You jumped at the sudden voice before letting out a shaky "n-no sir. " "Did you pack your lunch or get it from the cafeteria?" The small talk making you shrink in your chair."I don't have any." You responded, and aizawa sighed and reached into his bag. The man walked over and sat a grape jelly pouch on your desk. "This was supposed to be my lunch for today, but you need to eat, alright?" Aizawa turned and went back to his desk, and you stared at the pouch before hastily devouring it. "Your parents don't feed you at home?" It was meant to be an unspoken thought, but it just slipped out. You stared at him in shock. "Sorry.Don't answer that." He said before returning to his papers.

The next day, you showed up in his classroom again. "Y/n, do you have lunch today?" He asked, and you nodded before pulling a granola bar from your bag. "I'll be back in a bit." He sighed before walking out of the room. When he returned, he made his way to your desk and sat the dollar store lunchbox in front of you. "I can't accept this!" You protested."I don't care to eat." He replied,"At least let me pay you back!" You dug in your bag to get your wallet and flinched when he held out his hand to stop you. "Y/n. that lunch box was like five dollars, it's fine."He paused before looking at you."Are you okay?" He asked when he noticed you shaking. "I-im." You stuttered and fell back when he moved closer. "Y/n, calm down." He slowly approached you, and you backed into a corner and hugged your knees and started to sob. Aizawa got on his knees and placed a hand on your back. "I'm sorry." You repeated over and over as your teacher soothed you. The both of you sat in the empty classroom, your sobs filling the empty room as aizawa tried to comfort you as best he could. your teacher soothed you better than your own father ever did.

[foxedthecards]

He'd barely gotten that endearing little nickname out before Jonas's soft lips found his.

They'd traded a few playful kisses here and there in the course of their light-hearted flirt battles. Whatever the cowboy might have personally felt about those casual kisses, each one had been a sweet and surprising little treasure to Jonas, ones that made his heart beat all the faster and got him ever so pleasantly flustered. He definitely felt Butch had always had the upper hand in that department.

And now in this moment, Jonas wanted to give ALL those feelings the cowboy kept stirring up in him right back. With interest.

Jonas's hands found that bandanna around Butch's neck and pulled him lower with rather a surprising urgency as his mouth eagerly explored Butch's. He rocked gently back and forth against the taller man, his eyes closed in bliss. That clever little tongue trailed lightly against Butch's parted teeth, found his tongue and curled sweetly around it, tasting the sweet fiery burn of the remnants of blackberry liqueur and all the complicated flavors that had been in his drink.

He didn't let up at that point either, deepening the kiss as his thumbs massaged over Butch's temples, his fingers curling in his feathery soft hair. He was determined to make DAMN sure that Butch would know that he'd drink his very soul with this kiss if he could. Because no matter what went on later in the evening...Jonas was going to give all of this to Butch and Butch alone.

After what seemed like an eternity, his lips closed gently over Butch's lower lip, giving it the lightest nibble and one last sweet pull as if it were the delicious remnants of ice cream at the bottom of the cup and his own lips were the straw getting every last drop. His mouth reluctantly parted from Butch's then with the softest plp! noise and he exhaled gently before bringing his mouth to Butch's ear.

" Please...please remember that. Ok? No matter what..." he murmured. " I'm sorry I-I....I gotta go I'll be back...wait for me. "

He heard his own voice cracking as he said those words, felt dangerous tears start to sting his eyes. He pulled himself away, walking and then running, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth trying to compose himself as he vanished into the crowd.

He headed for the stairs at the far end of the bar. Up them, down the hall, opening the door... but in the time he'd taken to go from downstairs to upstairs something inexplicably warm had started growing steadily through the sick cold fear that was trying to swallow him. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or something else, but either way he'd started thinking pretty damn hard.

He stepped inside. It was dark except for the karaoke screen lit up waiting for the next song. " C-cooper..." he said hoarsely, looking around trying to find him. Maybe he'd lucked out and Cooper had gotten tired of waiting?

" Cooper, " he said, a little louder. " W-where are you? "

The door slammed shut behind him, the lock clicking into place. " Well if it ain't the Vegas bicycle, " came his growl behind Jonas who startled and spun around.

His entire body had started shivering but nevertheless he clenched his fist and retorted. " I'm...I'm not doin' any shit w-with you...ok? I decided...I'm f-fucking done...I c-came up here t-to tell you that...and-and don't...bring B-Butch into it either..l-leave him alone, ok? "

Cooper sauntered towards him, stepping into the sickly glow from the screen and stopping right in front of him. " Aw. Scared I'm gonna beat up your little boyfriend? "

Jonas's face darkened red and he pressed his lips together as his entire body continued to tremble. " He-he doesn't think of me like that...ok..." he muttered.

" Oh so you're just his fucktoy for the night? Yeah that's about all you are really, you know. Or did you forget? "

Jonas stepped back from Cooper, his eyes averted. " I-I'm leaving...fuck you..." he blurted out, turning on his heel.

Cooper moved so fast it was almost a blur, hand twisting in Jonas's hair as he slammed him backwards into the wall so hard stars burst in the redhead's vision. In that same instant his other hand grabbed Jonas's wrist, fingers digging into his skin painfully.

" Nah. Changed my mind. Think I'll send you back to him in a bit. And he's gonna see the evidence all over you as to who owns your little bitch ass." he chuckled. " Starting with your smart mouth." His teeth sank into Jonas's lower lip and bit down.

Blood sprang up and he muffled Jonas's scream of sudden pain with his own vicious mouth.

" Y-yeah. Guess I am..." Jonas murmured as the next song began playing and Butch sweeps him away in another more fast-paced song.

Now did he mind that other hand playfully drifting down along his back? God no. That teasing hand could go as far down south as it wanted to. His focus however was fixated entirely on those other two hands, clasped together, fingers intertwined. It's really too bad he wasn't looking upwards to see that tender expression on Butch's face that would have made him flustered all the more. But right now those shining brown eyes stared at his hand in Butch's.

Perhaps it was his profession but Jonas tended to focus on other people's hands a lot. They could tell you a lot about a person. Butch's were the kind that you would expect of a cowboy's hand. Rough and rugged, callused...working hands wrapped so carefully, so gently around his own. Fingers as closely intertwined as he wanted to be with him at this moment.

His thumb moved, rubbing little circles in Butch's palm directly under his thumb as the song played on. His mind drifted, losing track of the time as he matched the sway and turn of Butch's hips with his own, moving as close as he possibly could without getting in his way or tripping him up. The songs played on.

The tempo slowed pleasantly, becoming as rich and sweet as flowing honey. Still Jonas watched their clasped hands with daydreaming brown eyes.

His fingers slid gently out of their sweet embrace, curled Butch's fingers downwards and pressed a soft brief kiss to the knuckles. He brushed his hand open again, feather-gentle and this time kissed the palm, close down to where his wrist was before his fingers once again intertwined.

He didn't want to stop dancing. He didn't want to let that hand go. He didn't want to let Butch go! But a brief glance up at the clock told him it was inevitable.

He drew in his breath and closed his eyes. Well now or never, he supposed.

" Butch..." he said in a low voice. " Butch...would...would you mind if I...gave you a kiss. "

He paused, his face flushing darker as he added. " On the mouth..."

[blanketforcas]

(mild negativity ahead!)

oh that urge to be able to sit jackles down and explain that queer castiel doesn’t hinge on reciprocated destiel. the angel is gay regardless of how dean feels!

i think the two — queer!cas and fully canon destiel — are so intertwined in his head and that’s why he feels the need to try to explain away the gay whenever he talks about castiel’s feelings and describes them as otherworldly/heavenly/not lustful or romantic etc because he’s so intent on his straight interpretation of dean.

it’s frustrating because unfortunately the way he talks about it undermines cas’ character growth and an arc that is very obviously extremely meaningful and important to misha and a lot of fans

(ask inspired by your tags here: https://blanketforcas.tumblr.com/post/735811813423349760/they-really-missed-the-opportunity-for-cas-to-say)

i have complicated feelings about the why of it all and also go back & forth on it sometimes, so i'll just post your ask as is

[onlyasimp4nobody]

[momentomori24]

I don't believe liking immoral and downright evil characters says anything about you as a person, but I think acting like this definitely does.

"The HH fanbase will defend Valentinoto the moon and back" this and "Val is praised by a majority of the fandom" that, except said majority of the fandom fucking HATES that moth and fans have been harassed, had their art scribbled on to "fix" it, repeatedly called "rapist apologists" and "abuse romanticisers", get questioned or accused about condoning him irl, received graphic death/rape threats and are in general mistreated by the fandom. A Val cosplayer was mistreated and had a gun pulled on them IN REAL LIFE not even a year ago. Even the VA got repeatedly asked or assumed to be like the character he plays because "why else would he want to voice a rapist??" and told they deserve for choosing that role (fucking WILD btw). People that like Valentino as a character are the minority of the fandom, and even there NO ONE defends him. We all realise he's a disgusting individual whose actions shouldn't be defended in any capacity. What kinda bullshit lie is that?

I'm also in the Mouthwashing fandom, and it too has a bunch of issues. Infantilising Curly and minimising his actions, making Swansea to be better than he actually is and ignoring that he knew of the SA, people still debating or not realising that Jimmy raped Anya in the first place, shipping Jimmy and Curly (which isn't even a bad thing or a real problem but this person would see it that way), ect. But sure, conveniently don't bring that up. Anything for the Hazbin Hotel hate, right 💀

These next comments especially piss me off (nevermind how they're talking about an abuse survivor which is gross already). This might be a hot take and I don't care if that's the case, but I think people refusing to call Jimmy by name and excluding him from the cast is not show of a "good" fandom, actually. Jimmy has a lot more to him besides being a rapist. Rape culture, toxic masculinity, capitalistic exploitation, misogyny, male dominance-- there's sooo much more to explore and discuss about his character besides him being a rapist. And he's an incredibly disturbing character in a fucking horror game. If you can only refer to him by some stupid nickname (which takes away the seriousness of his character imo), ignore the significance of his role and themes in the story and the rest of his character and reduce him to a single trait that's BAD. That's not a good thing, and in fact, probably makes you worse than the people that do like his character because they can at least separate fiction and reality and not scrap well written disturbing characters for the sake of "comfort" or moral standing (again, in a horror game of all things). People shouldn't feel bad for liking Jimmy because he's a very good character, and ignoring that completely and acting like there aren't people who could like him... kinda sucks?

Moving over, Valentino is not and has NEVER been portrayed in a positive light in the show. I can't wrap my head around people that genuinely think that. Whenever I hear people say that the arguments I always see are "he shouldn't be attractive" and "he's just a cartoon villain" and "he acts silly and quirky even tho he's a rapist" among other things, and I don't think these people realise they're spouting eugenics bullshit and demonstrating that they don't know anything about his character simultaneously. No, Valentino isn't a "positive" portrayal of a rapist because he's attractive (way to tie morality to appearance btw). No, Valentino isn't a positive portrayal of a rapist because he acts goofy and funny and silly. Those traits are intentional and important to his character. Val is the Overlord of lust and depravity, hell's most famous pimp. His beauty is how he lures in unsuspecting sinners, and his personality is how he gains their trust and gets them to sell their souls for him to exploit (notice how Angel signed his soul away willingly). He's supposed to be appealing. He's supposed to be charming. He's entire persona is meant to be disarming. If he were like Jimmy or just a one-note unlikeable guy, his position in the show and his relationships with the characters wouldn't make sense, so he isn't. That doesn't make him a more positive portrayal or anything, it just means he's more fleshed out and written more complex than you want him to be. He's a very real depiction of an abuser, of their two-faced nature and how being attractive and charming to others doesn't make you less of an abusive monster to someone else. For context, I have been abused by someone extremely similar to Val, so his depiction feels very real to me and it's extremely tiring seeing a bunch of assholes who have probably not even seen the show or have been abused act like he's "romanticised" or "unrealistic" or "bad" simply because he was written by Vivziepop (who's ALSO an SA survivor like what is wrong with you 💀).

This is a broader point and not entirely related to this specific case, but we don't give people shit like this over people liking murderers and serial killers-- acting like all a sudden liking a rapist character says something negative about their writing or about the people that like them is INCREDIBLY stupid. People don't talk like this about Alastor and Vox-- who are both VERY despicable people. Both of them are also abusers among other horrible things, but they're not (or at least Alastor isn't) rapists so they're "not as bad". This is a sentiment I see all the time in both the fandom and hatedom whenever Valentino discourse comes back up, and this line of logic that rapists are a unique evil that can't be liked as characters in fiction but murderers and cannibals and serial killers are totally Ok is so dangerous and backwards. Liking evil characters says nothing about you as a person aside from the fact that you're a freak in the fun way. Liking evil characters but then going after others who do as well because you consider their character "too evil" and watering down the crimes of yours to justify liking them says a lot about you tho. Saying that the characters you like says something negative you in general does too.

We seriously need to stop bringing morality into fiction and saying that "normal" people wouldn't like certain immoral characters. We need to stop ostracising people for their "problematic" ships, proudly brag about ostracising them and justify it by calling them "weirdos". We need to stop saying villains are "badly written" because they're not written how YOU want them to be written, regardless of whether or not that opinion is valid (which in this case it isn't). We need to stop putting fandoms in some weird competition with each other about how characters are written and spit on people who actually enjoy them, are comforted by them or felt seen by them (gestures at the whole Angel dust situation barely a week ago). And honestly we need to stop giving attention to people like this, who spread a false narrative and kick others down for being fans of a media they don't like or know squat about for whatever reason. Who spread lies about the media or fandom in question in way that's blatantly in bad faith.

This crappy post is sitting a 17k while I'm typing this. The way people can just say ANYTHING about Hazbin Hotel and its fandom-- doesn't matter if it's valid or true or if they watched the show or know anything about the fandom at all, it just has to be negative-- and others will eat it up no questions asked needs to be studied at this point. We saw that in the months the show first aired. We saw that with the Angel Dust video. We're seeing this again here. I don't think we should be harassing anybody over fiction and in general (and needless to say don't harass any of these people) but calling out bad actors who pull shit like this more often and making it uncool to shittalk Hazbin Hotel and its fandom (and any fandom from unapologetically dark media where the people deal with enough bullshit already) for no reason and in bad faith is a change I'd be down with. Like, wash your mouth of its name and disappear into the shadow realm, goddamnit.

[lee-blogs]

Still packing stuff and now i'm looking for a box for this.

My dad and i made it a few years ago for halloween, probably 2015/16 if i'm remembering right. It's made from a lays can, a wipes container from his work, and paper maché. I don't remember what the wires and front metal bits are from, but the middle actually lights up! It has one of those long battery-powered emergancy lights in it and some colored tissue paper

[moonlit-orchid]

When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

[chirsu]

Page Five of When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Manuel J. Smith, Ph.D. that I bought at a thrift store.

I am using the cut-up technique and going page by page.

[umemiyan]

does your doc not understand how necessary your meds are for you? like what’s the hold up? they need to stop playing around…

apparently the fuck not <333333333 apparently it's just a game to them <333 and i can't drive and show up there right now and demand to speak to someone because i'm trying to work even though i have a constant headache and brain fog on top of all my usual ADHD symptoms <333

i hate being a karen or looking like a fucking junkie, but what if these were meds that were even more vital to my health? like insulin or heart meds or something like that? would i just have to sit here and hope to not fucking end up in the hospital? i'm so tired of this ridiculous shit. and i can't have it filled a whole week ahead of time or anything to try and be safe because it's a fucking controlled substance and they won't let me. so guess i'll just suffer!!! especially if they don't get it in by today because it's friday <33 i'll have to be like this all weekend while trying to work while they have their nice days off :)

[kalicocoa]

An Announcement on the State of Night Rule

So I’ve been struggling with how to say these things and I finally just need to get it off my chest. I think I’ll feel better after finally speaking about things, so here we go!

After today, I will not be participating in the Project SEKAI fanbase outside of finishing my fanfiction, Night Rule!

I’ve had a lot of unsavory experiences with people in this fanbase that were behind closed doors in a way. (Discord Servers, Private Messages, etc.) Making a big stink out of things will only reflect poorly on me as past experience has proven to me, so I’d rather just let sleeping dogs lie and remove myself from the equation without making an enormous post about those things.

I don’t feel very safe when interacting with people anymore and more often than not I’m hurt by unnecessary hostile behavior toward me. Hostility that ranged from disagreeing on meaningless headcanons to straight up bigotry at my expense. (I quite literally watched as some passionate readers of my fic turned on me immediately upon learning I was a person of color. I don’t feel good about this and I never will either.)

However, Night Rule will be completed. I plan to finish it, even if my motivation is practically abysmal lately. I have love for my story and the completed outline I worked so hard on, but I do not feel well writing this story for people that ultimately think little of me as the creator.

That being said, updates will be extremely scarce from this point onward. Hopefully at least once a month, but I can’t promise this due to my current mental health state. You’re getting this fanfiction for free and it’s a work that has brought a lot of aggression toward me as a person, so you can be reasonable and accept that it will update as much as it will on my terms. Hope that’s understood, because if it isn’t, that’s something you’ll have to deal with on your own I’m afraid.

Night Rule was a creation of my own personal passion for Proseka and its cast, fit with my favorite fantasy tropes and ideas I had been dying to use in a story for years. For this reason, it’s much too special to me to abandon and I plan to keep this as a thing for me before I worry about how much people love or hate it.

I recommend that if you only follow me for Project SEKAI, you should probably unfollow me now! I will not be sharing posts of it anymore and the only things related to Proseka that will be posted will be updates on this fic and reblogged fanworks of Night Rule if people continue to make those. I’ll still be playing the game on occasion, but I will not be talking about it on here casually from here on out.

Where I plan to go from here, I’m not really sure. I still have things that I enjoy, so I plan to keep writing and reblogging things that I like. Maybe I’ll move on to the next big interest. Maybe I’ll disappear someday. Who knows. We’ll figure it out when we get there.

But the point remains, this chapter of my life is coming to a close, and the end of Night Rule will be the end of my involvement in this fanbase for good.

Thank you for understanding! See you on the flip side. (❁´◡`❁)

[apatheticlexicographer]

to be completely honest, the stranger things fandom has damn near ruined the show for me lmfao

[jeongjinman]

.

[running-in-the-dark]

well I can already tell this is gonna be a bad night

today has just been fucking weird and hard. I'm in a bad mood. everything feels bad. (probably not helped by me not taking the new antidepressant last night so I wouldn't sleep all day)

the plan was for my friend to come over this weekend to help me pack. she did that last time and it helped a lot. (my husband could help, obviously, but he's in charge of other things that also need to get done. plus he's very bad at putting things into boxes.)

but the rail strike is still going on so it's likely that she won't be able to get here (or get back in time). so now that's suddenly a lot more stressful and the one thing that I thought would make it go okay is gone.

and I also have to like. at least reread my thesis a few times or whatever to study for the oral exam on Friday. which will make me want to die. because it is bad. so. that will be bad. and the thought of being asked questions about that piece of garbage for 30 fucking minutes is so horrifying that I genuinely do not know if I will be able to get through it without taking my Lorazepam beforehand (which I know is a horrible idea, and my psychiatrist told me twice that it's a bad idea, and I know it would just make me unbelievably stupid. but holy shit that is the scariest thing I can imagine.)

and of course instead of doing anything useful I'm now just sitting here feeling like shit (like last night, only worse)

[hooved]

i know everyone's told me to rest because i'm sick but i just can't. it doesn't feel right. i need to do everything i can rn because i'm scared that any second we'll be told to get out NOW

[thisfairytalegonebad]

*thinks about the fact that i have to write tonight*

*starts sobbing*