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sandy-the-glader · 1 year ago

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maybe a george x grumpy! reader who never really smiles or shows emotion and George kinds makes it his secret mission to do that

Come on I see that smile!

Character: George Karim x Fem!Reader

Type: fluff

Length: 1.7K Words

Summary: Ever since you got to Portland row all it has been is neutral faces, anger and frowns. But George seems to be curious about what your smile looks like… for research purposes of course!

Trope: Grumpy x Sunshine (sorta)

A/n: Sorry if this is bad I've been trying to get back into writing btw maybe a tad bit of ooc George? Anyways this is a mix of second and first-person. Lmao lastly the format and like the 4 and 1 idea came from this fic so go check it out!

4 tries and 1 unintentional victory

Baked goods

Large raindrops pattered against the kitchen window of 35 Portland Row, creating a relaxing rhythm. I sprawled out articles and other various newspapers across the table. There wasn't much information on this house, no visitors had been reported before this caller. No murder cases from that house or interesting behaviors. I jotted down as many notes as I could on a surprisingly clean part of the thinking cloth.

A loud knock echoed through the house. I was too sucked into finding information and suspicious parts about this house to answer the door. Thankfully, I heard someone (most likely George) quickly dash to the door and handled with whatever it was. I assumed it was Arif since it was a quick interaction and the scent was so strong I could already smell it. Damn it smelled good.

George's quick footsteps dashed down to the kitchen, quickly landing the box on an available part of the table. I quickly drew my eyes back to the pages scanning for something remotely helpful. The worst case was going in cold.

"How's the case going?" George came to look at the papers and my progress. His fingers traced my handwriting.

"Not good. There is not a single thing tied to this house. And she said I have to be there in a week." I said with a dry expression. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw George rock back and forth on his heels before he spoke again.

"Well um, I got you extra of your favorite this week." I looked up at him. "If you need to take a break they are there." He offered.

"Thank you I appreciate that." George looked somewhat upset with my reaction. Why? I'm not exactly sure

"Yeah.." He grabbed a chocolate donut from the box and sighed on the way out of the room. I hope he’s okay.

Did I do something wrong?

"Is that a donut??" I heard Lucy call out from the stairs. "I didn't even know we had those!" maybe a break wouldn’t hurt…

2. Stress Cleaning

Sure this was more for George than it was for you but he hoped to kill 2 birds with one stone. He had spent the whole evening cleaning the house. Kitchen, library you name it. He left the bedrooms for last.

He knocked softly on your door and waited for a reply before going up the stairs. There wasn't much to clean in your's and Lucy's shared area besides maybe the windows and a few pieces of clothing needed to be picked up off the ground.

You were reading a book on your bed instead of trying to find more information on that house. You needed a break and your mind was just tired from searching article upon article. You had 3 more days and thought to hell with it I'll just do my best.

"What's up, George?" You peered over your book and at the boy. "Oh." From seeing his apron and blue gloves you already knew he meant cleaning. "You know you don't always have to clean up after us." He shook his head.

"You know cleaning is one of my favorite things right?" He cleaned every single day. Not even kidding. You can't remember the last time you've seen the house jaw-droppingly dirty. Because it never has been. For the many months you’ve been here George has done a fantastic job with keeping the house organized.

"That is true. I do feel bad sometimes." You hummed. "Well thank you." George quirked a small smile but you just nodded in acknowledgment.

Well, it was worth a try. He sighed quietly.

3. Favorite food

He knew as soon as you stepped through the door and slammed it shut, he had made a good decision. Another thing on George's list of "Y/n's smiles" was dinner. Sure food didn't work as well last time this was different.

He heard you curse at something and then throw your rapier into its spot by the door. You took in a deep breath through your nose trying to contain your anger from the trip and not make a lot of noise considering the time but you smelt something. Something so heavenly that's all you needed right now. Food.

You quickly went down the stairs and saw George in his apron Moving around the kitchen.

"Smells great Georgie. It's 3 am you didn't have to." She frowned feeling a bit bad for keeping him up.

"It's really no problem at all." He loved cooking so really it was just fun. "Looks like you had a fun night." She rolled her eyes and groaned. He leaned against a cabinet and glanced at you up and down. Your hair was very messy, traces of ectoplasm was all over your shoes and the bottom of your pants, and you were just really wanting food and a shower.

"Sarcasm. Not now I beg of you. But really the food smells fantastic." A sneaky smile formed on George's lips, not yours though you were far too tired to even think about it.

"Alright. Food's ready anyway." He brought two servings of the food over to the table placing one in front of you and the other across from you. "Do you want to talk about it?" He offered sitting down in front of his food.

"It was awful! The source was in a completely different part of the house than she thought and it was just disastrous!" You complained. He sat there and listened to your troubles like you always did with him.

You finally had a bite of the food and you felt at ease.

“George Casper Karim why can you cook so well?” He smiled downward. You didn’t smile you just had this tired yet calm look on your face.

“I have more talent than just touch.” He joked. She was right though the food did taste amazing.

“Yes you do.” George wasn’t entirely mad at the fact you didn’t smile but he did enjoy the compliment.

4. A New Sweater

George scanned the shelves of your favorite store looking for something you would like. There were plenty of things your style but what caught his eye was a sweater.

Your closet was full of them. Lucy too and so a sweater could be another candidate for his "Y/n's smiles" list.

It wasn’t too thick nor too light because he knew you were sorta picky when it comes to sweaters. And a bonus was it was one of your favorite colours.

He held it in his hands but, he double and even triple-checked the store for something you might like better. But he did not and he went and brought it up to the counter to pay.

The cashier was nice but she had mistaken George as your boyfriend which made him blush furiously and confirm the two of you were just close friends. The cashier didn’t buy it. She gave him a small disbelieving look and he tried to ignore it.

He was impressed by how well she wrapped up the sweater and put it in a really nice bag.

When he came back the house was insanely quiet, mainly because Lockwood was out of the house and Lucy was training in the basement. You had decided to have a lazy day you were mainly just in your bed or in front of your desk.

But he noticed you were making tea in the kitchen so he quietly ran upstairs to put your gift on your bed. And then he snuck back down to his room to wait for your return.

You held a cup in your hand and carefully walked upstairs. You were confused when finding a gift on your bed mainly because no one really gave you gifts out of the blue. A small gasp escaped your lips when you reached into the bag and pulled out a sweater. You held the sweater close. It was the right size it was quite a shocker

You didn't think Lucy even knew your size.

"Surprise." George came back up the stairs. You went and hugged him. He was slightly taken aback by the gesture. He wasn't exactly a hugger but he wrapped his arm around you and squeezed gently.

"Thank you, George. You do so much for me." Again he wasn't exactly angry that it had failed because he's never had a hug that felt this relaxing. He was feeling loved. "Anything." He said simply. You pulled back and ruffled his hair.

"You're too good for me."

George returned to his room and took a pen and struck off another idea on a sticky note above his desk. But he did put a small heart next to it.

5. Quality Time.

"Wanna go the archives with me? Lucy and Lockwood already said no but they were caught up in their own thing." George huffed. You sat up immediately and shoved a bookmark into your book. You cracked a half smile.

"I would love to." You sprung up and grabbed your bag and shoes. "They never want to go with me either." Still, a small smile plastered on your face.

George was shocked in the 3 months he knew you that's all it took? Just going to the archives? He would have groaned if he wasn't so happy for finally making you smile. The look was so unfamiliar on you but he definitely knew he wanted to see it more.

"I don't know why I never asked you." You chuckled softly. That was a complete lie. You didn't want to admit it or make it obvious that you have a raging crush on the other boy while being alone and so very close to him doing what you loved most.

George didn't even think about your comment. A chuckle? George's expectations were exceeded. He thought you would shrug it off and either go and keep to yourself or kindly decline.

"Come on Georgie!" You practically skipped out of the room, brushing past his shoulder and sending a jolt through his body. His heart swelled and he was honestly quite boastful at the moment. If he could shout it at the world he would. He felt like he deserved something for making Y/n L/n smile. But seeing your smile was an award in itself.

George followed her out of the house and down to explore the archives.

#george karim #george cubbins #george karim x reader #lockwood and co #save lockwood & co #george karim x you

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funkyspacealien · 1 year ago

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Rabbit of the Night He'll suck the orange out of your carrots (Sketches n' processes under the break! It's a REAAAAAL long one)

I've been meaning to draw a piece that actually includes a background instead of a character standing in the void. The issue that arises is that... I just didn't have any good ideas for backgrounds, lol. Partially the issue is that I tend to design the character first, which makes it challenging to draw stuff around them. Since around the time that I made this piece was October and the big holiday was Halloween, I figured I could do something within the theme. I've been meaning to draw my character, Nosferatu, again since they have always been one of my lowkey favorites of mine.

An older piece of the character, which you can see with the others here The character was quite macabre, which made it perfect for doing something slightly spooky. The cape also gave me a great idea for making something more visually striking, as well.

My first attempt. As you can see, I tried to do a thumbnail this time so I can have a better understanding of the amount of space I have to work with. I highly recommend that you do something similar if you struggle with doing backgrounds. Though, I think I ought to make it a bit more square, lol. I had to tweak some things to fit within the standard square shape since I drew everything at a wonky angle. I was inspired by Soul Eater and Majora's Mask when it comes to the background design, especially with the moon having a prominent appearance. I knew that was a consistent thing I wanted to keep throughout the iterations. The flowing cape was heavily inspired by Spawn and the artwork of Lelouch from Code Geass

I always found it to be such a striking iconography for the characters. Despite being an inanimate piece of clothing, it adds a lot to the design. Spawn was always an intimidating dude, but having that cape overwhelms the viewer and takes up so much screen space every time he wears it helps give him more of an otherworldliness. You may not truly understand who or what is he, but you may get the vibe that he's someone with great power and importance. It's befitting of someone who is viewed as the best spawn of the devil. I find it also interesting for a character like Lelouch. Now, I never watched the show he came from, only understood the basic premise from various sources throughout my life. Pardon if my read on the character is incorrect, but to me, he's quite the scrawny guy and perhaps lacks power of his own. Despite this, he runs a rebellion and goes under the alias of "Zero". He dresses up as Zero, including the cape. With it on, his form became much more imposing yet concealed. It gives him a sense of royalty, which you might attribute to the likes of Kings or Queens. Someone with power. Sorry for that brief character analysis tangent, lol. It's just something that I thought about when creating the character of Nosferatu. I find it interesting that something so simple as a cape can help give a feeling of power. It's something that I feel everyone subconsciously think of and not realize. Back on topic, the rest of the composition I wasn't super satisfied with. I sorta lean into the "Dracula" look the character had by having the castle in the background, but I think it came off as very flat. I also thought it made things visually unclear. A bunch of things off in their own corner instead of organic guiding the viewer's eyes. I scrapped the first idea and tried to go in another direction.

I had the idea of being underneath an overpass and having buildings being lit by the moon. I don't think it was too bad of an idea, but I had trouble refining it and making it more "full", if that makes sense? This had a weird sense of emptiness and dragged the composition down for me. Perhaps if I drew the character differently and played more with the perspective, it would've been better. I went back to my original idea and checked if I could improve some things on a base level.

Originally, I had the cape go off-screen but checking my original inspiration, like various art pieces of Spawn, I noticed that the cape "ends" tend to curve back into the frame. I decided to do something similar which I think helped give the piece a sense of "flow" to it. I found that it also gives a composition more layers of depth and fills in any "empty" spaces that I had worried about before. I tilted Nosf's head a bit so they weren't just standing there stiffly as well. Sometimes it's the little things that help improve the piece than having to redo it all over again.

Finally, I just decided to make the background more on the simple side. I think I had the issue of really wanting to prove myself that I could do backgrounds that I made it way more complicated than it needed to be. It gave me the chance to make the moon much bigger, which I always meant to be a striking aspect of the piece. When drawing, I decided to forgo the "ground" that the cliffs are on since I felt it cluttered up the piece with too many colors. Now, I just got to finish it!

I should be done, right? Well, not exactly. While I think it looks nice (I'm personally proud of my use of noise filters), it just still lacks the depth that I'm looking for. Something about it is too bright and clear. I went back and experimented some more until I found a solution that made me feel stupid not realizing it before, lol. So initially, I tried to use this photo editing program called "Picsart". I used to use it a lot when I was doing digital art since I like the added filters. I eventually stopped because it would ruin the image quality. I thought they fixed that issue, but it's still the same.

It's a bit subtle in this picture, but I like to use the "vintage" filter since I like the added shadows on the sides of the images. The problem is that the quality got ruined and I'm very stubborn about keeping it in the nicest resolution possible. I decided to see if I could replicate it in my own art program. What I discovered is that I can and the solution was very simple, lol. First I drew a square with a solid color on a new layer-

Then I used the "Gaussian Blur" Filter-

I turned down the opacity, set the blending to "burn" and overlaid it on the artwork, which gave the depth I was looking for!

I gave the head some slight shading too since the filter unintentionally gave it to their ears. Good call since I think that helped with the Halloween atmosphere I was intending.

#oc #artwork #character design #my art #original work #luchador #halloween #rabbit #furry #nosferatu #I meant to post this 3 hours ago but the write up became super long lol #also i should've posted this on halloween WHOOPS

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boruwa-sranie · 1 year ago

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I made these linocut pieces back in the school year because it's free at my school and a sweetie graphic design teacher organized it (+ needed some hobbies to branch out lolol)

from the oldest to newest:

cirno fumo, first one I did that's why it looks a bit ugly. didn't do my best on the japanese writing too

kogasa tatara, I like her design a lot but I think that was too much for me to try making as my second piece (and sorry for not having a better print of her (-ω-；))

ran yakumo, actually love her a lot!! looks so cool and mystical... the pose kinda silly but lol :3c whatever looks pretty. also adding kanji significantly makes the piece cooler looking trust me (you just have to flip the symbols so it looks fine in the final piece (almost forgor about it with cirno))

kirisame marisa, spent way too much time on this one all the lineart was TOO MUCH WORK to make it look pretty, too many light spots and details phew

big boss catboyfied, started out as just big boss but later I got the urge to give the man cutesy cat ears (funniest shit), thanks komoda for making the hard image even harder (harder because I'm hard rn /j) also his fucking eyepatch is on the wrong eye!! forgot to flip it!! fucking dammit!!!

victini, actually I was at such a loss for ideas I just made my favorite mythical pokemon. tried making it look nice and give it the tarot card aesthetic but kinda sorta fucked up lol whoops whatever :3c still like him my teacher even made a few prints in red instead of black

natural harmonia/N, made him after finishing my playthrough of pokemon black I've been procrastinating on a lot and damn I love this twink so much.... the designers cooked so good when they made him, great guy love him my favorite vegan animal activist, has a bonus zorua and katakana of his name to eliminate negative space (plus makes me look smart) , also some another teacher thought he's a chick, amazing

bonus (cause not really linocut) engineer I made on the last day after making N (teacher found me something to do), made him by placing a piece of paper on a still wet painted linoleum slab and drawing on top of the silly sandwich for the imprint, looks hellish and deep fried. kinda dig it (don't come at me if he looks silly I drew him for the first time with little to no sketch....)

phew this post took like an hour to glue together hope tumblr nerds will like this one

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thepetericklibrary · 1 year ago

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I’m desperate for this one lol, I’ve tried my best digging and with no luck. It’s a fic that I read years ago and it was so good, it was somewhat/pretty long, pretty angsty, either on livejournal or AO3, set in early fob van days, and the beginning had drunk Pete sleeping with Patrick thinking he was a girl and in the morning he’s horrified to find out it’s a guy and he kicks him out and is a dick to him cause he can’t come to terms that he’s gay. There’s a scene where Patrick blows him in the woods, Pete gets punched by his girlfriend because he can’t get it up for her, and the band doing their first tour in the van. I NEED TO FIND IT IT WAS SO GOOD. Thank you!

Alrighty, sorry for the wait, but I think I found it. This is one I sorta half remembered too and it’s a good one. Pull Hard and Make a Wish by coricomile

#peterick #fall out boy #ask #fanfic #smut #van days #angst #which comes with the van days territory #Pete is not super nice in this one #internalized homophobia #again van days y’all know the drill

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neko-naruto · 1 year ago

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Practice Makes Perfect

Summary: You only get good at something by doing it over and over again, Sapnap supposes that the same rule applies to intimacy.

Warnings: it gets mildly horny, check Ao3 port for full tags

Authors Note: yeah I had no fucking clue what to do for this one, so it's sort of a slideshow type thing because that's how we roll in this house every now and then. @sobredunia, snf, once more, there's only a couple more days of me subjecting you to them, I am not sorry because I am having so much fucking fun. I'm weak and not good enough at writing to like, write good kissing scenes, so please enjoy this humble attempt at writing three scenes without repeating my vernacular wayyyy too much. And hey! if you enjoyed consider dropping a reblog, or checking out the Ao3 port and leaving a comment or kudos.

There was hesitation as he rested his hands on Georges waist, he, he didn't remember what came next. All he did was stand there like a complete idiot, staring at George as George stared back at him. The sharpness wasn't entirely there, it was never truly gone, but this time it was dulled.

"I," He took a shaky breath.

"Yes Sapnap?" George asked gently, hands resting intertwined atop the small of Sapnaps back.

He opened his mouth to speak once more and his throat felt dry as desert dunes, "I'm not good at kissing."

George smiled softly, "This isn't life or death idiot," He leaned in to press his forehead against Sapnaps, "There'll be plenty of time to practice."

"But, what if I wanna do it properly now?" Sapnap asked quietly, loosening his hands from where they sat.

"Then that's sucks for you," George said before letting go of Sapnaps waist and drawing his hands up his partners sides.

Sapnap gave a groan of annoyance, "That's stupid."

"Sucking at something is the first step to being sorta good at something," George said, the recognition of the words struck Sapnap like lightning.

"Did you get that from an episode of Adventure Time?" Sapnap asked, a hint of disbelief on his voice.

George shrugged the best he could with forearms resting at the bottom of Sapnaps rib cage and hands at his shoulder blades, "You'll never know."

Sapnap hums in response, he still doesn't move from his spot.

"Now try and kiss me already, we've been standing here for like, five minutes idiot," George said, his smile slanting into a grin as he spoke.

Sapnap forced himself onto the tips of his toes (the only way he could reach high enough kiss George) and tried, but George pulled away his head just a bit. He tried again, George leaned back again, it wasn't until he pressed a hand, palm open and fingers spread, to the small of Georges back and tugged that he stayed still. It was brief, impossibly prompt, the gentle pressure lasting no longer than a second, and when it was over Sapnap pulled away, hands in the air is if to signal surrender.

"I said I'm bad at kissing man," Sapnap stated before the complaints and venomous criticism could roll in, red rested at his face, burning the tips of his ears.

"That was a good first try," George said, "You just need more confidence."

"Well how am I supposed to get confidence?" Sapnap questioned, lowering down his hands to rest in his pockets instead.

"By doing it again," George said, stepping forward as he spoke, "You don't have to be afraid of me being disappointed, I don't bite."

Sapnap just stared at George, staying silent.

"Unless you ask me to," George added on with a smirk, he relished in the way Sapnaps expression turned to shock.

"Dude, you can't just say that," Sapnap whined, refraining from raising his hands to hide his face behind them.

George gives a hum, "Then try again."

"Am I always gonna be the one to initiate?" Sapnap asked.

"Of course not," George said, "Now, pay attention."

Sapnap couldn't help the way he leaned into Georges hand the second it came into contact with his cheek, resting the heel of his palm along his jaw. He followed the subtle tilt, keeping his eyes on George as the gap closed. His posture stiffened when George slid a hand under the hem of his shirt, pressing against the center of his back. It was like ice, a cooling touch he barely stopped himself from leaning into as George kissed him.

There wasn't a single hint of desperation on Georges end, like he'd done it a hundred times already, maybe more at that. On Sapnaps end? He wanted to press George against a wall, hands pinned high above his head, let it happen fast and fiery. But he couldn't, he's sure he'd fuck it up one way or another somewhere along the line. So instead he follows Georges motions, falling into the gulf of muted passion kept bridled only by the notions of someone seeing them.

George pulled away first, Sapnap was still lost in the moment, eyes focused on George. His brain focused on where fingertips hit his back, not a single layer of fabric keeping his heat from seeping into George. He tried to squeak out a single sound, something to signify that he was still there and in the moment- he failed.

"Did I short circuit your brain?" George asked tentatively.

Sapnap shook his head, "No, you're just really good at kissing."

"I've had practice," George stated as though it was a matter of fact, he released Sapnap.

"I know, it's still entirely unfair," Sapnap said, George playfully nudged his shoulder, shattering the tenderness but he didn't care with the segue into the next layer of their complexities.

"We just got together, first date and all that jazz," George said, grabbing Sapnaps hand before taking a couple steps, "You'll have plenty of chances to get good at kissing me."

Sapnap gave a small nod, dragging the tip of his shoe against the concrete for a step, "I don't know if I'll be good enough at it when it really matters though."

"You will, I promise," George said, rubbing a small circle on the back of Sapnaps hand.

-/-/-/-

Festivals where a lot louder than either of them remembered, maybe they remembered it quieter cause when they were kids they were just as loud. That doesn't deter them from the games littered across the place and the smell of freshly cooked food from every angle. It smells like sugar, heat, and deep fryers, a combination of scents that George associates with childhood just a little bit less than Sapnap does.

"Can we try that game?" George asked, gesturing vaguely to one of many games set up.

Sapnap shook his head, "Half of them are rigged, never trust a carnie anyways."

"You're absolutely no fun Sapnap," George whined, clinging to Sapnaps arm as he spoke, "We came here to have fun."

"Losing all your cash at one stand isn't most peoples definition of 'fun' George," Sapnap shot back with, bringing a hand to rustle Georges hair, the Brit ducks away from the touch.

"Well maybe it's my definition of fun," George stated dramatically, he had to refrain from sticking his tongue out as well.

Sapnap rolled his eyes, "Don't you think getting some cotton candy would be more fun?"

"After we win one game," George said, "Promise," He pressed a kiss to Sapnaps cheek.

"Fine, which game do you wanna play?" Sapnap asked, George gave a hum as he glanced at the games, never once did their pace of traversing the festival stop.

He pointed to the milk bottle game, "That one."

Sapnap gave a groan of annoyance as he looked at the booth, "Seriously?"

"Seriously, win me a prize and we'll ride the Ferris Wheel," George said, using his one bartering chip impossibly early in the day.

Sapnap paused, weighing the options in his head. On one hand, losing an embarrassing amount of money in a rigged game, on the other hand, riding the Ferris Wheel. He reluctantly took the bait, "One prize, then we get cotton candy and ride the Ferris Wheel."

George grins a little bit, "I love you."

"Love you too idiot," Sapnap said, leading George through swaths of festival goers to the booth.

He reached into his pocket and fished out a couple fivers, he placed down the wad of blue bills. He watched intently as the manager of the staff counted the dollars and laid down a small basket of baseballs. Sapnap easily grabbed one, tossing it up and down in his hand a few times.

"Take your time," The carnie stated coolly, voice even.

Sapnaps shot easily decimated the first stack of bottles, one of them chipped as they came crumbling down. He grabbed the next ball and took a step to the left, winding up and shooting once more, this time he only knocked down three of five.

"Fuck," It barely came out loud enough to be heard.

"You got this," George whispered out softly.

The final shot knocked down all five, the final one did wobble for a moment before finally coming down. He couldn't help the grin creeping to his face, smug and impossibly prideful.

"Impressive," Was what the carnie stated, "Pick your prize."

George was already holding what he wanted to get, "I pick this one."

"A teddy bear with a heart on it?" Sapnap questioned, almost offended that his efforts were wasted on it.

George put it back, "Good point," He pulled down a panda plush instead, "I'm taking this one."

"I might have to take it then," Sapnap teased, linking an arm with George as they started on their way to one of many cotton candy booths.

George gives a hum, "Yeah, I guess you earned it."

"Fuck yeah I did! I put that stupid game in its place," Sapnap exclaimed, exuberance clear on his voice.

"With utmost ease you put that game in its place," George said, nodding as he spoke.

They came to a staggering halt at the closest cotton candy stall, the impossibly sweet aroma hit them like a freight train. Somehow the simple smell of spun sugar bulldozed any other scent that dare exist in the immediate area.

"What color do you want?" Sapnap asked, "I usually get pink."

George placed a twenty dollar bill on the counter, "One pink and one blue."

"I was gonna pay," Sapnap whined.

"Shoulda pulled out your cash sooner," George said as he was handed the bags of cotton candy, "Thanks!"

"I guess I should've, but I'm taking you on a date," Sapnap explained, "I should be paying."

"Tough luck," George stated bluntly as he pulled a clump of blue from his bag, panda plush held under his arm.

"When you take me on a date I'm paying," Sapnap spat back with almost childishly.

"Sounds good to me," George said with a smirk on his face, "Thanks in advance Sapnap."

Sapnap paused for a moment, "Did you just con me into paying for our next date?!"

"Yep! And you fell for it perfectly," George said, handing a clump of pink to Sapnap who reluctantly took a bite out of it.

"I hate you," Sapnap muttered.

"Aw! I love you too," George chided teasingly as they walked up to Ferris Wheel.

Sapnap glanced to the prices before shucking out the dollars that were listed. They both waited rather impatiently to get on and take a seat on the bench. It was more or less a booth without any windows, or if there were windows they were just down.

"I don't think I've been on a Ferris Wheel before," George said quietly as the ascent started.

"It's pretty fun, the most mellow ride at any festival or carnival you go to," Sapnap explained through a bite (if you could even call it that) of rapidly dissolving cotton candy.

George hummed, "All I know is that you're supposed to kiss near the top."

"You only kiss at the top of a Ferris Wheel for the first time once George," Sapnap said, "And I'm still not super good at kissing, it'll be a waste of an experience."

"That's bullshit," George said, barely letting a second go between the end of Sapnaps sentence and the start of his own, "Kiss me when we reach the top, and don't be afraid."

"But-" Sapnap tried to say.

"Please," George said.

"Fine, I can try, just don't expect anything magical," Sapnap said as he watched the tops of the trees come into view on an equal level as the both of them.

George leaned into him as the ascent came further and further to the top of the circle. Most of the pink cotton candy Sapnap had gotten was nibbled on till the bag was empty, the hue staining his tongue just a bit. The bright blue dye stuck to Georges tongue twice as much, he'd have to spend days scrubbing it all off. When the tips of the trees were finally below them Sapnap turned to face George, he rested his hands at Georges waist.

Do or die.

He tugged George a little closer, the Brit easily swaying into the motions and meeting Sapnap in the middle. His lips are cracked, a stark contrast to Georges, but that doesn't stop him from trying to power through. George finds himself bracing one hand on the ledge of where a window may sit, the other closer to Sapnaps shoulder. He tries to advance it, go a little bit deeper into the passion George had been urging him to learn the entire time they were together. George takes the bait, tilts to the side and swings a leg over Sapnaps lap.

He tastes like blue raspberries, an overwhelming sweetness washes over him. But it's really nice, a soothing shift compared to how they usually kiss (George leads the way, Sapnap follows obediently). He's sure he tastes like strawberries, the caustic amount of flavoring resting on his tongue and refusing to fade.

Then accidentally bites Georges tongue.

It can't even really be called a bite with how little force is behind it, but he hears the whine it draws from George. Normally he's fine with that keening sound spilling from his boyfriends lips, but not now. He pulls back first, he looks worried, and his hands drop from where they rest on George.

"Sapnap-" George begins.

"I'm sorry," Sapnap got out, cutting off George without even realizing it, "I bit your tongue, I'm sorry."

"Sapnap." George repeats, tone firmer, sharper. It instantly snaps Sapnap back to reality, shattering his apologies.

"Yeah?" Sapnap asked meekly, watching tentatively as Georges expression softened.

"It's fine, that'll happen every now and then, it's part of making out," George explained, resting a hand on top of Sapnaps, "People make mistakes."

"I know," Sapnap said, "Fuck I probably just ruined that."

"Stop berating yourself," George stated, it was a demand, "Everyones learns, and you're learning fast."

"Alright," Sapnap said quietly, he heaved a sigh.

"Wait, Sapnap, open your mouth," George said as he leaned in again.

Sapnap quirked a brow, "What?"

"Just do it," And Sapnap did as told, George nearly burst out laughing, "Your tongues purple!"

"So is yours!" Sapnap shot back.

"Now all of the internet will know we were making out," George said, pulling out his phone as he spoke.

Sapnap gave a small hum, "I'm not complaining."

George held up his phone, "Stick out your tongue," Sapnap did exactly that as George snapped the photo.

Sapnap looked at the photo, "Oh we are so posting that."

"Totally," George said, pocketing his phone once more as the Ferris Wheel started on its descent, "Now, it's not too late to kiss me on the way down."

"Nobody does that George," Sapnap said.

"We'll be the first," George answered with.

-/-/-/-

Raindrops hit the concrete hard, the consistent splish splash of rain on water acts as a hypnotic lull. A soothing sound smoothing over the world around them, the tink sound it makes as it hits the arched roof of the picnic shelter like cymbals. Up until the rainstorms people forgot it had tin exteriors instead of the plastic that made up so many others. The occasional drip of water leaked from a faulty gutter and darkened the surrounding concrete.

The grass was muddy and trampled, the paved pathways had puddle grooves sloping at the cracks just a bit. The trees swayed gently, some leaves coming undone and others handling the harsh turn in the days weather with ease. Sapnap simply stared out the downpour, the concrete below them was starting to dampen with the stray drops and thickness of the air. But it wasn't even cold, it was a lukewarm rainstorm, one so intense he imagined a rainbow would come after it.

"So," George begins, "Starting to regret taking me here?"

"The rain is kind of nice," Sapnap said, he was reaching for straws because he knew that if he stepped foot in that rain it would hit so hard it stings just a bit, "Kind of."

George rolled his eyes, "If you listened to the weather forecast we wouldn't be here."

"Sometimes they're wrong, sixty percent chance of rain still gives us a forty percent chance we'll be sitting under light clouds," Sapnap stated defensively, "We just got unlucky this time."

"When do you think this rain is gonna let up?" George asked, "I kind of want to go home."

"Are you kidding me? The rain is great," Sapnap said, swinging a leg over the bench of the picnic table as he spoke. He leaned back on his elbows, tilting back his head to meet Georges gaze, the Brit sitting atop the table and swinging his legs.

George gave a hum, "It's just wet," He brought a hand to flick at stray strands of hair on Sapnaps forehead, the dampness of the storm helped them cling to skin, "And humid."

"There are frogs out there sometimes," Sapnap said, gesturing vaguely to the murky expanse of grass, "I've seen quite a few over by the creek."

"That creek is a death wish, you've seen how deep it is," George said, "And the rocks, slippery as hell."

"That's what makes it fun," Sapnap said, drawling his words a bit with a grin on his face. He pushed himself from his spot on the bench and swiveled around to be standing in front of George, "Sorry that it started raining."

"Can't stop nature if you tried," George said, he slid down from his spot on the table, "But, it's not like anyone else is out here."

"So we're making out in a rain storm?" Sapnap questioned, looking up at George with a smirk, "How cliche."

"Do you really care about how cliche it is?" George asked, waiting patiently for Sapnap to take the initiative and do it.

Sapnap rested his hands on either side of the table edge, forearms pressed against Georges hips, "Naw, not really," He still had to force himself to the tips of his toes to actually make the connection, but George leaned in a bit as well.

For a minute it's just them and the rain, the pressure against the heel of his palms ignored alongside the stretch at the back of his ankles. It doesn't go ignored when he takes a small, staggering step closer to steady his balance, pressed flush against George. Hands found their way up his back and under his shirt in the brief instances they pull apart, for the brief instances Sapnap falters in his confidence.

George leaned back onto the table, ready for his legs to fall out from under him because he loved this confidence Sapnap had learned. One hand pressed to his upper back, he loved it, the cold air swirling around them, the fire between them. He dug his nails into Sapnaps back, drawing the faintest keening sound from his lover. Even when teeth awkwardly hit his own he refuses to recoil, arching into the pressure on his back, trying to keep the frothy desire between them alive.

Sapnap backs away mere inches and George nearly whines, he actually does when Sapnap litters his neck with kisses neck. Drawing up from the base to his jaw, letting teeth nick against sensitive skin forcing George to bite his lip. When their lips are meeting once more Sapnap presses forward further, sliding a leg between Georges as he does so. Refusing to let up as a hand goes from the table to tangle into the dampened locks of brunette.

He still ends up pulling back first, tries to at least, he can't get very far with Georges hands firmly interlocked atop his back. George gives a bemused hum, "You know, for someone who still thinks they suck at kissing you're pretty good at it."

"Guess I've been getting better," Sapnap answers with, "I'm learning from the best though."

George gives a soft smile, "How sweet, now, wanna do it again?"

Sapnap shrugged, "Depends, do you?"

"Why do you think I'm asking idiot?" George answered with a bit of a laugh on his voice, he unlaced his hands before pressing his forehead to Sapnaps, "Of course I want to, I'm always up for a kiss."

"Good to know, I'll keep that in mind for when they're handing you your Nobel Peace Prize for best boyfriend of ever," Sapnap said, he pulled himself away from George and opted to lean beside him.

"What, you're gonna sweep me off my feet and make out with me while I try to give my speech?" George retorted with, trying his hardest not to laugh as he spoke.

Sapnap gives a smirk and some finger guns, "My plan exactly, they'll disqualify you but we'll already be well on our way with the gold in hand."

"It'll be perfect, we'll sell the prize and get rich," George said, grinning as he spoke.

The rain still hasn't let up and Sapnaps gaze lingers on the gazebo.

"Wanna head over to the gazebo?" He pointed at the building as he spoke.

George quirked a brow, "We'll get soaked."

"That's half the fun," Sapnap said with a smirk on his face.

"If you say so, I'm gonna have to take off my shirt if I get too wet," George muttered quietly, barely loud enough for Sapnap to hear.

"I mean, that's what I'm hoping for," He stated boldly as he made his way to the edge of the picnic table cover, holding out a hand to George.

The Brit eagerly took his hand and followed him to wherever he led.

#snf week #sapnotfound #georgenap #snf #sapnap #georgenotfound #dream smp #dsmp #dsmp fic #dsmp fanfic #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #fan fic #fan fiction #tw suggestive

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mossfeathers · 9 months ago

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Thank you for answering and welcoming my questions! ^^ (I sorta tried to pre-organize my thoughts so I hope the formating of this isn't too strange, sorry if is.)

Your sirens are very neat, I think. :3 I enjoyed reading about them. I'll definitely be ready when more info on them sprouts up.

And ooo yes sweethearts is a very cute duo name for them. I like that a lot. ^^

I haven't actually played Stardew but I did grow up playing games in the series that inspired it so I think I'm picturing the vibe right, I feel like it could be very Harvest Moon, HM: Animal Parade especially. (I liked fishing too ^^ tho idk if it was so much a skill as it was just something you can do for recipes and money and got better at w/ better fishing rods)

& the setup overall seems like fun. Love the complete oblivion to start.

And since you welcomed my questions last time and said you'd like to hear if I have any more, here's some more questions!

Can we hear a bit more about the dynamics the characters will have with each other so far? It'd be fun to here about, if you want to share that of course. ^^

You mentioned before that Scar & B are brothers in this au and that it'd also be a whole other post. Is that anything you can share with us yet? Or is it future info, It's fine if it is.

Oh but otherwise can I ask how you decided on a lionfish for Scar?

Also, are the others(like Lizzie & them) around as less important townies and seafolk?

Thank you for your time and sharing your ideas!

HI ANON I FORGOT TO RESPOND TO THIS IM SO SORRY OMG Literally always makes my entire day and week and month and also year tbh when you send in an ask and I love you so much (/p)

I've never checked out Harvest Moon before, I'll be sure to try and find a letsplay or something like that. From what I looked up of it, it looks adorable and I can totally see how it inspired Stardew :)

I think Grian and Jimmy are closer to their livestream/non-traffic dynamics, the main difference just being Grian cares a little more for Jimmy outside of the life series (apart from limited life). Grian bullies Jimmy but would do anything for him, Jimmy despises Grian but would do the same. Plus they make each other 500 times sillier and goofier. They're just really close friends, likely either grew up together or met in their late teens and were roomies for a while. Classic bullying friendship. Grian's quick to blame Jimmy, but quicker to take the actual blame if need be. Jimmy's quick to get frustrated with Grian but they're usually fine by the end of the day.

Grian and Scar are close to third life, Grian being exasperated with his attempts to scam him and Scar just being a silly little menace. Oddly enough, I haven't thought of many specific interactions, but based on Grian and B's first in-universe interaction I'd imagine Grian just threatens Scar if he ever tries to use his voice on him and that stops Scar from using it real quick. Doesn't mean that he won't tease G a lot. They're best friends. I gotta catch that grian+scar disease so I can more thoroughly think about them, I can only make them besties and happy forever. That doesn't slide in this AU, unfortunately.

Grian and B are really interesting, actually. In their first interaction (at least I think), Grian makes a very close threat on B's life if he ever uses his voice. He's rather aggressive in this au, but this is only because of the fact that sirens don't have a super awesome reputation and also because, in the context, Jimmy is missing and Grian suspects it's to do with sirens. I think. But after that, they bond a lot over their dumbass siblings and just the fact they like each other so much. Grian's oddly fanboy-ish over B in a really silly way and B just thinks Grian is awesome.

BIGB AND JIMMY!!!!!!!!! They're so incredibly underrated. They are SO silly. They just click with one another. I'm going to try to incorporate their super long friendship by just making them hit it off straight away when they first meet (in the life series, especially, they just constantly bring up inside jokes from hanging out, especially irl. they're absolutely adorable. i'll be genuinely shocked if they don't team next life series). They really like each other, and one of the main things about their dynamic is that Jimmy just thinks B is plain cool, and B thinks Jimmy is absolutely the funniest man alive. Really liking how Jimmy, quite possibly the most clueless man alive, is besties with the sirens. Very fitting.

I can totally talk about Scar and B being siblings! One of the reasons I didn't answer this in your previous asks (sorry about that btw) was just I didn't really know how to word it? Again, this au is very self-indulgent and I just really like the Scar and Bigb dynamic, and also really like weird sibling dynamics where they don't quite like each other and probably wouldn't be besties if they were allowed to not grow up together. But they did. And they're besties. And don't quite like each other. Except it's even more weird than this because B doesn't quite like Scar but absolutely loves him but also would really rather prefer to never interact with him ever (one of my favorite clips of them is b hanging out in third life, hearing scar's voice in the distance, and instantly saying 'oh no oh no oh no i gotta get out of here'. then scar comes to swindle him. a very similar thing happened in last life but scar didnt even come to swindle him, he just showed up at the shadow tower after the fairy fort burned down and b just runs and hides behind a little stone box. bugs to me). And Scar loves B soooo much but even more than that he loves teasing him. 'Life series best friend' has been referenced every single life series. And most of those times has been during a moment B is not red and Scar is. Very untrustworthy man. But at the same time I just know in my heart of hearts that given the chance (forcing them on a team together) they would be SO dynamic and interesting with a more haphazard trust and confused devotion type thing going on. So yeah: Guys who would absolutely never talk to one another again in their life if not for the fact they're siblings, but since they are they absolutely love each other. Oddly, that's inspired by how my mom talks about her and my aunt (her sister), and kind of how I feel about my own sibling. I haven't really thought out parental/other family ties, and i'm leaning towards either just having siren culture be very independent from parents or just never explicitly addressing it, as I don't really think it's that important, even though B and Scar's childhood is (I do not know what the details of their childhood are yet. i am such a good storyteller. clearly.)

Being completely honest, I chose a lionfish because I think they're cool, I just kinda got Scar vibes from it, and I associate him with orange. As with all good decisions, it was completely random and I'm actually super happy with it! I guess it also plays into his dangerous side, with the toxic needles and all that. If you happen to have any ideas for what B's tail could be (doesn't need to be blue tbh i'm just trying to get an idea), I would LOVE to hear it!

As for side characters, I have a few townsfolk planned out and kind of forgot to think of more seafolk. I think Gem and Impulse run a bakery (impulse bakes, gem decorates), Martyn and Ren co-own a pub (look up the stardrop saloon from stardew valley, kinda looks like that but they have little shows and a stage and all sorts of little entertainment things in it), Pearl has something to do with spirits and the supernatural (I'm toying with the idea of having an arc where she gets possessed and there's a whole red pearl thing with an angry spirit), and a number of other hermits/lifers (?) are villagers. Since the town is built on fishing and farming due to how rural it is, that's a lot of their occupations. Still, very few choose to live on the beach, as we know. In terms of merfolk, I just know that Etho is a sea slug and Iskall is a manta ray. Sorting some people into 'categories', Scott, Skizz, and Cleo are merfolk (sirens or not, undecided) and Bdubs, Tango, Joel, and Lizzie are townsfolk. I kinda want to explore other "supernatural" creatures (hence Pearl's potential ghost arc), so I might make a few of the villagers some other creatures. That's all up to fate, though.

I hope you don't mind, but i'll be leaving your other ask in my inbox just so I can go back and look at it easily. Thank you so much for the kind words and interest in my silly little au! More questions and ideas are always welcome!!

#moss ask answers #sweethearts siren au #grian #solidaritygaming #goodtimeswithscar #bigbst4tz2 #life series au

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andiinaraethtash · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 26: When There’s Madness (When There’s Poison in Your Head)

Notes:

.... hi. Sorry. I know it's been--what, two months? Three? Yeah. I sorta got sucked into a bunch of other wips and lost my train of thought, so to speak, with this fic. But! I found it again. I'll try to update again within the next month--feel free to send a comment or an ask on tumblr my way if I forget (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/andiinaraethtash if anyone is interested) TW: aftermath of possession/torture, suicidal ideation. Stay safe everyone! Chapter title from In the Name of Love by Bebe Rexha and Martin Garrix

Sausage is more than sure that the whole, releasing-the-elf-who-used-to-be-a-demon is a bad idea, but Scott had seemed so desperate he hadn’t had it in him to say no. As it is, him and Katherine are in fWhip’s room, watching as a healer props fWhip up on a series of pillows. He’s holding his head upright, at least, which is… progress (and isn’t that depressing. He’s got only half the mobility a baby would, and they don’t know if he’ll ever get better).

Sausage glances out the window, toward the hill he’d seen the ritual be done. He hadn’t seen the second ritual, so he’s pretty sure things went… well, if there is a version of this where things ended well.

Katherine notices him looking, though, and swats his arm. “Hey. Can you focus? Remember, they’ve got each other, they’ll be fine. Pearl and Gem will look after each other.”

It’s entirely unfair how well Katherine reads him, and he turns to her, doing his best not to pout (and probably failing miserably). “I just… what if something goes wrong?”

With the hand that’s not caressing Koda’s fur, she takes his and squeezes it. “Then they’ll take care of it. We’ll make it okay.”

A shocked exclamation from the bed has them both turning, and to their surprise, the healer, who has a bowl of soup in one hand and a spoon in the other, is staring at fWhip, whose head has turned away ever so slightly.

“Did he just…?” Katherine asks, and Sausage scrambles around the bed to sit right in front of fWhip’s line of sight, though his eyes are unfocused and he can’t tell if he can actually see him.

“fWhip? Hey, can you hear us?”

No response. Sausage isn’t exactly one to give up, though, so he reaches out and grabs his hand, hoping, hoping… Nothing. No response.

Katherine sighs and takes the bowl from the healer. “Thank you, Bramble. Can you give us some privacy, please?”

Bramble nods and leaves, though Sausage barely notices. He’s too busy focusing on his friend—his brother—to note what’s going on around him, until Katherine nudges him aside with her hip and settles on the bed next to fWhip.

“Here,” she says, scooping up a small spoonful of broth. “fWhip, you need to eat something, even if it’s just a little.”

fWhip jerks his head away ever so slightly, and Sausage shares a grin with Katherine, because that’s more life than he’s shown in a couple of weeks, even if it means he’s not cooperating. She tries again, with the same result, and she gives him a fond but exasperated look. “fWhip…”

“fWhip, hey, you need to eat,” Sausage tries. “Please? You’re worrying me.”

He’s not sure, but he thinks fWhip sighs. It could be his imagination, of course, but whatever the case, the next time Katherine tries to get him to take a bite, he lets her pour it into his mouth and swallows, before letting his head fall back against the pillows and closing his eyes.

Sausage squeezes his hand before turning to Katherine, who smiles and shakes her head. “Stubborn man,” she breathes, a laugh in her voice, and Sausage grins.

“This is great, Katherine! He’s getting better! i knew he would, but this is—this is—!”

He’s cut off by a door down the hall opening and voices spilling out, familiar voices. He gives Katherine a look, and she nods, settling into the bed so that Sausage can go see what’s going on. Before he can get up, though, there’s a change in pressure in his hand, and he looks down to see that fWhip’s hand has twitched, and he knows he can’t go anywhere.

“I think you’d better go see if they need help,” Sausage says in one of his more serious tones, and she nods again, gathering her skirts and standing before giving fWhip’s shoulder a squeeze and leaving. Sausage hears Gem’s and Lizzie’s voices as the door swings open, but he focuses on fWhip instead of what may or may not have happened out there. fWhip needs him right now.

______

Gem looks up, startled, as Katherine enters the hall outside the bedrooms. Immediately, she straightens, trying to keep her face neutral, but she’s sure she’s failing, because she really does not want Xornoth here. Scott, Lizzie, Shrub, and even Pearl all argued that it was closest, and secure, and not likely to freak as many people out as if they took him to Rivendell, where they actually might recognize him. She’d argued that the people of the Grimlands didn’t need any more reminders of what they’d been put through, either, but she had been outvoted.

So here they were, mere yards away from the door that hid her brother from the world, and they were discussing meaningless things such as who should be on the watch to make sure the elf isn’t alone when he wakes up, instead of how to keep everyone safe when he does. Just because he’d tried to kill himself as a first resort doesn’t mean he won’t resort to hurting others to get… whatever it is he wants.

It’s just that all the things she thinks she knows for certain about Xornoth are being called into question, just by his one minute of conscious action an hour ago. So while she’s still dead set against him being here, she also knows none of her arguments are really solid. There’s just too much unknown.

Katherine looks curious as she approaches. “I’m assuming everything went okay?” She asks, and Gem and Scott both grimace, though for different reasons.

“The first spell worked, and the second wasn’t necessary,” Gem sums up, and Scott sighs.

“Xornoth tried to kill himself.”

Katherine’s eyebrows shoot up. “Why?”

Scott shrugs, though his eyes look pained, and Gem remembers why she agreed to this in the first place. Regardless of their choices moving forward, they were doing the right thing, though whether or not they’re doing it in the right way… Well, only time will tell.

“I knocked him out before he could explain himself—or actually go through with it,” Pearl says, reaching over and putting a hand on Scott’s shoulder, though she’s shrugged off pretty quickly.

Katherine looks sympathetic. “I’m sorry.” At Scott’s nod of acceptance, she turns to Gem. “Good news, though! fWhip reacted a little bit!”

Gem jerks her head over, meeting Katherine’s eyes with disbelief. “He did?”

“Yeah, Sausage and I were trying to get him to eat and he kept moving his head away slightly!”

Pearl lets out a whoop and grabs Gem in a hug, spinning them around. Gem lets her. She’s too frozen in shock to react otherwise.

It’s a lot to process. After so long with him not getting better, to suddenly have him react to anything the moment she steps away feels like a punch in the gut. But at the same time, she’s so relieved she almost feels sick, because it’s been so long since her brother was his normal self and they’re inching back toward that with agonising slowness.

A hand on her shoulder snaps her out of her shock, and she glances behind her to see Scott giving her a small smile. “Go,” he says. “He needs you. We’ll let you know when Xornoth wakes up.”

She nods, grateful, and lets Pearl drag her away. As she does, she hears Katherine ask where Joey is, and she calls over her shoulder, “He went to tell the others what happened!”

“Thanks!” Katherine chirps, then the door to fWhip’s room opens and closes, and she’s with her closest friends and family, and slowly everything is starting to go right again.

_______

When he comes to, it’s with a pounding headache and a certainty that everything around him was wrong.

He’s not uncomfortable enough, not achy enough, and certainly not warm enough. He can hear a fire crackling in the background, and the blankets lying on top of him aren’t exactly cold, but nevertheless, he’s having to repress the urge to shiver.

There’s a matress underneath him, sunlight hitting his face, and someone else in the room, flipping pages and breathing softly. Actually, he notes, there are two people in the room; the one reading is closer, while the other is standing near the windows, their shadow occasionally blocking the sunlight.

There’s a quiet sigh from the closer person and the sound of a book closing. “I know you’re awake.” Male, Elvish accent. Xornoth cracks open an eyelid, and sure enough, there’s a pale elf with cyan hair—and Xornoth chokes on his breath. He looks so much like…

The other person comes around the bed he’s lying on and rests a hand on the elf’s shoulder. She’s a dark-haired woman—a fae, he realises, and dimly he recognizes her from his corrupted memories. Gods, but those are so tangled up and gnarled it’s hard for him to remember anything clearly.

“I’ll go get Gem and Pearl,” the fae is saying, and Xornoth takes the opportunity to look around.

Dark panelled walls, thin windows, and a faint smell of gunpowder tell him he’s not in Rivendell. The Grimlands, maybe? He vaguely recalls something about the Grimlands and gunpowder. It’s possible.

He goes to sit up but is stopped short by a firm tug on his wrists, and immediately he panics, starts tugging at the cloth restraints, because, no, no, he refuses to be at anyone’s mercy, he refuses to—

He refuses to put anyone else in danger. He needs—he needs to stop himself.

Maybe the restraints are a good idea.

On the other hand, it’s too temporary. If anything happens, if he loses control again, then there’s every possibility that he’ll wreak havoc and kill everyone. He needs to make that impossible.

He turns slightly to the elf, and isn’t surprised to find that the fae woman has left the room, but he is surprised to see the look of concern on the other elf’s face. He honestly looks scared of Xornoth, and really, he doesn’t blame him.

“Why am I here?” Xornoth asks, hating how weak his voice is.

The elf tilts his head. “Well, we weren’t exactly about to leave you out on the plains. Besides, here we can keep an eye on you.”

“You can keep an eye on me in the dungeons, too.”

A raised eyebrow, and the other elf starts asking, “Why would we—”

The door is thrown open, and in strides a woman with long dark blond hair and a sunny smile. “Xornoth! So glad you’re finally awake.”

He flinches at the sound of his name, and the person behind the sunny woman—a tall red-head with a taller purple hat and an amethyst-tipped staff, who must be a wizard from the Crystal Cliffs—nudges her out of the way. “Pearl, can you give us some space? Go… guard the door or something. We need to have a little chat with our guest.”

The sunny woman—Pearl, he assumes, which means the other woman is Gem—nods, her smile dimming slightly, and goes to the door, leaning against it as if to keep anyone else out. The woman-who-must-be-Gem sighs and sits on a chair next to the elf’s, propping her staff up behind it, still within easy reach.

A chill runs through him. Not a literal one, those he’s being wracked with, but this one is of fear. They know who he is. They know, and they’re wary. Part of him wants to lunge at them, make them kill him in self-defense, but he knows they’ll probably just knock him out again or start torturing him or something. And while he wants to end it, he would rather avoid more pain than Exor’s possession caused him.

So instead he sits up as much as he can, watching them carefully. He’s wary, afraid, but he also is so apathetic as to what comes next he really doesn’t know why he’s scared.

“Now,” Gem says. “I suppose you know who we are.”

“For the most part,” Xornoth mutters, but nods when she arches an eyebrow.

The elf looks over at Gem, pursing his lips. “Do you think we can remove the restraints?”

Gem shakes her head. “Not yet. Not till we know if there’s still any danger.”

“I won’t hurt you,” Xornoth says, his voice too tired and broken to be a lie. It’s not, and he hopes the others know it.

“It’s not us we’re worried about,” Pearl says from the door. “It’s you.”

He frowns. Why would they be worried about him? They know who he is, they know what kind of monster he is. Why would they worry about him being in danger?

Unless they want to protect him from the people of the Grimlands, if that is where he is. Give them the illusion that he’s secured and they’re safe from him, so they can mete out whatever punishment they see fit. That’s the only scenario that makes any kind of sense.

But even then, why wouldn’t they put him in the dungeon, if they’re so worried about the image they’re projecting? He takes it back, none of this makes any kind of sense.

Apparently, Gem decides his silence is a good opportunity to get on with the interrogation. “Alright. First off, I know we all have bad memories associated with the name Xornoth. Is there any other name you’d be okay with us calling you?”

Xornoth stares. He’s tempted, oh so tempted, to ask why she cares, to tell her to call him literally anything but his given name, but he can’t. His name is one of the few things he has left of his parents. He’s loathe to wash his hands of it.

Eventually, he shakes his head. “No. There’s nothing.”

“Oookay,” Gem pulls out a book and quill, jotting down a note on a blank page. “So. Xornoth. I’m sure you have some questions, but we have some too, ones we have to get out of the way before we answer any of yours. Got it?”

Her tone is less forgiving than her words, and he flinches away from her sharpness. “I understand.”

She stares for a moment, glances at the other elf, than straightens, taking a deep breath before launching into it. “Are you actively planning on hurting anyone—and yes, that includes yourself.”

He hesitates. None of them. Never any of them. None of the innocents, none of the people put in place to protect to them.

No, the only person he’s planning on hurting is the person whose hands are stained with the blood of hundreds of thousands. He wants—no, he needs to take himself out of the equation, to keep everyone else safe.

After all, what does he have to live for?

Apparently his silence is answer enough, and Pearl’s hand lands on the pommel of her sword.

“None of you,” He hastens to say. “I don’t… I don’t want anyone else to go through what I put so many through.”

To his surprise, the elf leans forward and puts a hand on the bed, close to where Xornoth’s are tied down. “It wasn’t you, Xornoth. It was Exor. We all—” he sends an acerbic look at Gem, who huffs “—know that. And trust me, if we don’t, then you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

Xornoth looks at him wearily. “Are all the people in agreement? Are the rulers?”

“All the rulers who aren’t basically comatose from what Exor put them through, yeah,” Pearl says, and now it’s Gem’s turn to send an acerbic look.

“Keep him out of it.”

Xornoth tilts his head, dimly intrigued. Someone she’s protective of, if he had to guess. His people skills are… lacking, to say the least. After all, he hasn’t properly socialised with anyone since he was… sixteen? Seventeen? No, eighteen. He remembers the preparations for the ceremony that would officially make him the Crown Prince. After that, it’s foggy.

Foggy, until that terrible night that still is seared into his memory, even after all these centuries. That night he stole into his parents’ room, slit his father’s throat, and stabbed his mother in the heart when she screamed to sound the alarm. That night he looked down on his little brother, and saw fear reflected in his eyes.

Even now, that’s how Xornoth remembers Scott. That look of fear, of terror, of confusion because his brother would never hurt their parents, would never hurt him, would never stab him again and again and again and—

“Hey!” A loud voice pierces the shroud of memory that he’s surrounded himself in. He blinks, and realises he’s making a keening sound in the back of his throat, he’s crying, and his fists are clenched around the sheets so tightly he’s starting to lose feeling in his fingers.

Shuddering, he takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, then opens them when he’s sure the tears have subsided. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “The memories… I wish they weren’t there, but I can’t seem to make them disappear.”

The elf purses his lips. “No one can. Well, unless they receive a very big knock on the head.”

He smiles, fondly, like he’s reliving a distant memory, and Xornoth wants to smile with him, but he’s too busy remembering the time Scott knocked him over the head during sword practice and he’d pretended not to recognise him when he’d come to. Scott had, understandably, panicked, and Xornoth had felt so bad he’d immediately dropped the act and wrapped his little brother in his arms.

From the doorway, Pearl coughs slightly, and Xornoth looks over at her, remembering what she’d been saying when he’d gotten lost in thought. “You’re sure the rulers are all…?”

Pearl nods. “Considering we’re them, yeah, we’re sure.”

He jerks his head up without meaning to. Oh. Oh. No wonder these three are here. They’re the ones whose people he has threatened and killed, whose lands he’s desecrated and corrupted.

Whose friends he’s tortured and broken.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts. “Aeor, I’m so sorry, I hurt so many people, I killed even more, it’s all my fault—”

Gem harrumphs and closes her book firmly. “That has yet to be decided. How many of them do you remember?”

A red-haired man he tortured to the point of breaking. Twisting people—a dark-haired, scarred man, a blond emperor (Joey? He doesn’t quite remember)—until they gladly served Exor. No, served him. Small people—gnomes, his mind supplies—fleeing in terror as their friends tore each other apart. His parents. His brother.

Countless wars, countless murders. He doesn’t know the exact number, but he knows this: he doesn’t deserve any mercy. He’s done terrible things, and even without Exor clouding and twisting his thoughts, he knows he’ll snap and do it again.

“Too many,” he whispers, and Gem and the elf exchange a look he doesn’t understand. “If you’re planning on offering me mercy, I wouldn’t bother. I don’t deserve it, and you’ll be safer with me out of the way anyway.”

The elf and Pearl both flinch, and he wonders who they are that they’re so dismayed by his honesty. Pearl seems to be the ruler of that province of Mythland—Gilded something or another, he never can remember—so maybe she’s more merciful than any of the others, but the elf? Xornoth killed the last royal family, so unless this person was hoping that he would be able to take the throne, he should at least be wary of him.

Gem leans forward. “Are you planning on hurting anyone?” She asks again, and he shakes his head, looking away from her.

“Never,” he says softly, “but Exor—”

“Exor is dead,” she says, and he whips his head around to look at her, eyes wide and disbelief flooding through him.

“He’s—what? How can you be sure?”

The elf straightens. “Because Aeor killed him, and in doing so killed himself.”

Right. The prophecy. He supposes it makes sense that it applies to the two gods, rather than the champions they choose. After all, he hadn’t died when he killed Scott.

(But oh, how he wishes he had.)

With a slow nod, Xornoth sinks back into the pillows, closing his eyes. “Thank Aeor,” he breathes, then opens his eyes and twists his mouth into a wry grimace. “Literally, I guess.”

As the elf and Pearl both snort in amusement, Gem leans forward, frowning. “So how much exactly do you remember of your time possessed? You didn’t really answer earlier.”

Before he answers, he takes a deep breath, and even then he doesn’t feel ready, but they want to know, so he’ll tell them. They’re the ones in a position of power. They’re the ones he has to convince to do the right thing.

“I… it’s vague, mostly, I just remember blood and smoke and screams. The occasional face. I know I killed so many people. It’s probably impossible to count how many. It’s been… millenia under his control—”

“Nearly three centuries,” the elf corrects, and Xornoth does a double take.

Three centuries? Only? That—that can’t be right, he knows he lasted too long under Exor’s torture, before he broke, for that to be possible. He can’t have broken so quickly that it only took three centuries for this part of the cycle to end. It just can’t be.

“Three…?” He breathes, not really fully trusting his voice. “Only?” At the elf’s nod, he chokes, looks down at his hands, and tries to wrench them free. He can’t—he can’t stay here, near people, if three centuries was all it took to crush him and have him wreak havoc across the lands.

Gem’s staff is in her hands before he can blink and is pointed at him with unerring accuracy, but he doesn’t stop thrashing. He needs to get out, he needs to—the others won’t understand. They won’t feel the heartbreak and self-loathing that is driving him, they won’t know why he has to end this. The cycle may be broken, but its remnants remain, and he cannot be allowed to start it up again.

“Let me out! Let me out let me out let me out—” He says frantically, and suddenly Pearl’s arms are holding him down, while another set of hands are tightening the restraints, which had just been coming loose, damnit, why didn’t they understand he needs to be put down like the sick animal he is, and he bucks and thrashes as he tries to get free.

Finally, he manages to knee Pearl in the chest, knocking her aside and yanking one of the restraints off the bedpost, barely managing to untie the other before Pearl and Gem are on him again. He catches a glimpse of the elf, back against the wall, watching with wide eyes, before he manages to yank Gem’s staff out of her hands and sweep Pearl’s legs out from under her.

He points the staff at Gem, who’s produced a netherite sword—custom work, he can tell, but he doesn’t recognize it for all that he recognizes the style. They stand there for a moment pointing weapons at each other before Pearl climbs to her feet, putting a hand on Gem’s arm and getting her to lower the sword.

“Easy, Gem,” she murmurs, then leans closer to whisper something in her ear, something that makes her slump slightly.

“Alright,” she says, sheathing her sword. “But if he blows something up, it’s not my fault.”

Pearl forces a laugh. “It’s never your fault when someone blows something up, is it?”

Gem flinches, and Xornoth files that away for later. He doesn’t drop the staff, or lower it, but he does loosen his posture a bit. They’re not… even when he’s got a weapon in his hands, they’re not threatening him, or attacking him, or using any kind of force in self-defense.

It’s then that it hits him. They don’t intend to kill him. Of course not, they don’t know what all he’s done—he doesn’t even know what all he’s done—and they’ve got this misguided idea that just because they’re the good guys they have to save him. Like he deserves it. The’re not going to do what it takes to give justice to all those he killed and tortured and destroyed.

“Xornoth,” the elf says gently—too gently. He of all people should know what he’s done, what he was going to do, but he’s extending his hand, offering mercy when Xornoth is a killer, when he doesn’t deserve it, when he, in fact, deserves the exact opposite.

“We want to help you,” the elf is saying, ignorant of Xornoth’s thoughts. “You were a good man once; we can help you be that man again.”

Xornoth scoffs tiredly. “With all due respect, that’s not possible. That person died before he really was a man. I was just a boy, a boy who killed everyone in his family.”

The elf tilts his head, confusion and hurt on his face, but Xornoth’s attention is drawn to Gem and Pearl, who flash a quick series of silent words across their faces before Pearl nods and takes the elf by his arm, leading him out of the room.

Confused, Xornoth lowers the staff and starts to ask, “What’s—”

“I think you should sit,” Gem says, talking over him, and he reluctantly does, letting the staff slip through his fingers. Gem winces as it hits the ground, and she quickly scoops it up, inspecting it for damage.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, “for however I hurt you. I know I did, I’ve hurt everyone, and I know no apology will make up for it, but I really, truly am. I’d give anything to go back and make sure none of this happened, but that’s not possible. It’s not—I can’t. I just can’t.”

Gem tilts her head, looking at him with sharp eyes and pursed lips. “Can’t what, Xornoth? What can’t you do?”

“I can’t fix this!” He cries, tears springing to his eyes as he tries desperately not to choke on his words. “I can’t change anything that happened. I can’t bring those I killed back, all I can do is apologise and beg you to give them all justice.”

Gem slowly shakes her head. “Wow. You’re really messed up.”

Xornoth huffs a tired laugh. “What, did you think I’d be perfectly normal after centuries of being Exor’s puppet?”

Gem sighs heavily, standing. “Stay here. I’ll send someone in to keep an eye on you. Don’t try anything.”

It’s hardly a threat. After all, what is she going to do if he disobeys? Kill him? Imprison him? That’s what he wants, that’s no punishment. The only thing he could think of that would actually be a punishment would be to turn him over to the people whose friends and families he’s killed. He wouldn’t be able to take the guilt and shame.

_______

Gem is pacing, going back and forth between the window and the fireplace as she tries to figure out how to explain this to the rest of the rulers, all of whom are waiting for her to break the silence. It’s strange, as she’s pretty sure only she and Pearl really understand the situation, and Pearl is currently guarding the very, very messed up elf in the spare room.

Finally, Sausage breaks the silence. “Okay, what happened?” Gem sends him a quick glare, and he spreads his hands. “Something happened. You can’t deny that. But we’re all worried that it might be bad news.”

“Well, it’s not good news,” she grumbles, then straightens. “Okay, so. Xornoth is definitely not corrupted anymore. That’s the good part. The bad part is that he is very, very messed up right now. He doesn’t remember everything, just bits and pieces, but one thing he remembers very clearly is that he killed his family.” She fixes her eyes on Scott. “All of his family.”

Jimmy looks aghast. “But then…”

Scott nods slowly. “He didn’t recognize me. I don’t know why, he called me by my name plenty of times while Exor had him—”

“Because Exor had him,” Gem says, trying hard to push aside the memories of her time imprisoned in the Nether, with Exor’s words spilled out of fWhip’s mouth. ‘I’m afraid that got a little… lost in translation,’ echoes in her ears. “Exor manipulated, maybe even erased his memories. He did the same to fWhip.”

There’s an almost collective flinch. It’s not something any of them want to think about, Gem least of all, but it’s the truth; they can’t even guarantee that fWhip will even have any memories intact if and when he improves.

It’s Shrub who breaks the silence. “So what, do we tell him?”

Gem opens her mouth to answer, but Scott beats her to it. “No. We wait and try to slowly reintroduce information.”

“Scott!” Katherine sounds aghast. “You can’t just let him go around thinking he’s a murderer!”

“First off, he is a murderer,” Joel says bluntly. “And second off, I think that’s Scott’s choice, isn’t it? I mean, it is his brother.”

“Yeah, it’s his brother! That’s why he should tell him, would you want to go around thinking you killed Jimmy?” Katherine returns, and Gem isn’t sure why she sounds so… desperate. Her voice is almost breaking.

Gem sighs. “Katherine. Take a deep breath, then tell us what’s got you so upset.”

Katherine takes an almost exaggerated breath. “Okay. It’s just. I don’t have any family, right? And I can’t imagine what any of you three are going through—”

“Three?” Lizzie asks, and Katherine purses her lips.

“Yeah. Scott, Xornoth, and Gem. Anyway, I can’t imagine going through what you’re going through, but Gem, wouldn’t you rather tell fWhip that he didn’t kill you, that you still love him despite what he was forced to do?”

She has a point. Gem can’t really argue with that, but she can make a different point. “I’m not Scott, though. And fWhip isn’t Xornoth. What might be best for fWhip probably isn’t good for Xornoth. He needs to acclimate to the way things are; we should probably try to jog his memory, too, see if it comes back on its own—”

“I’m taking him back to Rivendell as soon as he’s more stable,” Scott says, and Gem nearly chokes on her words.

Lizzie doesn’t seem happy about it, either—well, none of them do, but she’s the one who responds. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Scott nods firmly. “That’s where his earliest memories are, so he’ll remember it best. If he sees the differences, maybe he’ll remember seeing it while he was possessed.”

The others all exchange looks, and Pix sighs. “Alright. But if that doesn’t work, we might need to rethink this. Taking him around the empires might help jog his memories of what he’s done.”

There’s a collective nod before the others turn to Scott. “Does that sound okay?” Gem asks, and Scott nods.

“That’ll work.”

#it's been so long since I posted anything that I've forgotten how to tag #empires smp #fanfiction #writing #minecraft rp #empires #empires s1

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thygoddessouijathicc · 2 years ago

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Phone Guy Dave AU Fanfic: Aubergine Pizza

(Disclaimers: it’s best to thing of my first fic, Saferoom, as sorta a prequel/backstory. This is once again quite OOC, especially for Dave, because, well, he’s a phone guy now, a bit for Jack as well because he has depress because boyfriend is phone, admittedly not too out of the ordinary (not the depress at least, the phone part is pretty weird tho).

While my last fic was hardcore angst with a double shot of angst on the side, this one, and probably a lot of future phone guy Dave AU fanfics contains a great deal of fluff. Specifically Davesport fluff.

DSAF 3 spoilers)

Jack had found that despite having called in a few favours with the factory, he hadn’t managed to have them make Dave any less brainwashed. Ok, that is not entirely true, as he had managed to effectively skip out on the whole fake wife and being named Scott thing. But that’s where his luck ended.

Dave had been simply left with really no memories whatsoever, and upon having asked if Jack knew who he was, the orange man had snapped at him. Jack didn’t mean to. It wasn’t Dave he was upset with. It was Henry.

The man who he had trusted for some reason. Perhaps Henry really was the manipulative mastermind he thought himself to be. Henry had used his body to hurt Dave, and now Dave had forgotten his own name.

Jack had gotten in trouble, apparently Dave was missing a lot of organs, and his decomposition was suspicious. The people at the factory had accused Jack of having killed him himself, taken his organs, and left him to rot. The only reason he was not arrested was a) because what was going on wasn’t exactly MORAL in the first place, b) Jack is very scary, and c) Dave COUGHED.

Jack wasn’t sure he’d ever get Dave back. He wasn’t responding to anything, and he was running out of hope.

“Uhhh sir? Sir you have been standing there staring at me for the past 10 minutes.” Jack was snapped out of his trance by Dave, ‘staring’ down at him.

“Right. Sorry I lost my train of thought. What did you want again?”

The phone sighed dramatically, “You know we’re never going to get anywhere if you don’t focus, sir. I was just telling you that our suit performer is… ‘on vacation’ which is code of course for ‘running from the police’. Now I could step in for h-“

“No.”

“Sir I don’t understand.”

“I’ll do it. I swear to god if you ever have to see the inside of a springlock suit.”

“I already have.”

“Do not be a smartass employee.”

“Now that the case of the suit wearer is settled, rather oddly I might add. We have finally completed all matters on this page.” Dave says.

“So are we done now? Can I go now?”

“No. We have 4 more pages.”

Jack whines “still?! We’ve already done like 8!“

“11 actually.”

“Christ.”

“Ok onto the next order of business. The customers find Matt to be unsettling, due to his virginity and smile. Now, we can’t do anything about the smile but we CAN take him to Vegas and hire a couple hookers.”

Jack smiles at Dave’s first solution being hookers in Vegas, maybe he wasn’t gone after all.

“Nah, won’t work. I’ve already tried that. Besides, can’t we just have Matt wear a mask? He should be wearing one anyway.”

“We can’t. The hecking masks melt off his face due to the power of his virginity.”

“…Christ.”

“So I’m assuming Matt is a bust?”

“Pretty much. We just need to tell customers to deal with it, he all but came with the prize counter.”

“I thought you specifically looked for him for the job.”

“He all but came with the prize counter.”

Dave makes a dialup noise in frustration. “Ok… how about just this last page. I want to be done as much as you do. I have a longing to hide in the Saferoom so I don’t have to do my job. Mostly to escape this conversation.”

“Gimme the next boring list item.”

“Ok, so, music man has made his nest in our ball pit and kids have started disappearing into it. Fazbender’s has a long history of child murders so it looks very bad for us.”

You’d know about that, wouldn’t you. Oh wait… no you wouldn’t. Never mind…

“So we probably need to find some way to get rid of it… only problem is that… I don’t want to even enter that room because of it.”

“Eh, it’s not our worst room.”

Another dialup noise “HOW THE HECK IS THE ROOM WITH THE GIANT HECKING SPIDER ROBOT THAT EATS KIDS NOT OUR WORST ROOM!?!?!?!?!”

“Disabled bathroom. Also the strip club, although that one is also my favourite. It’s only bad because Oscar.”

The phone guy sighs “ok, next order of business. The health inspector is coming soon-“

“How soon is soon?”

“12 years.”

“Ok that’s it, meeting over, you’re obsessing over things that don’t matter. It’s tradition to only care the DAY OF the inspection. Plus a little bribery goes a long way so you don’t even have to care that day either. You’re working yourself to death.”

“Better dead than closed sir.”

Jack grabbed the purple phone man’s hand and dragged him away.

“Where are you kidnapping me to sir?”

“My favourite room.”

“Oh dear god no.”

Jack throws open the door to the strip club. “Look Davey, STRIPPER FAXES.”

“…why did you say ‘fox’ like that?”

“Dave… say ‘fax’”

“No.”

“Dave I’m not angry, just disappointed. Say fax.”

“Sir… you’re scaring me.” Dave backs away.

“Say fax employee. It is an order.”

“Fine sir. ‘Fax’. Are you happy.”

“Very.”

Jack leads Dave into the strip club, and directly to the salad bar. “Sir if this is that thing where you get me to yell at you to not eat the salad I’ll fire myself.” Ah, Jack remembers making his first phoney do that. Priceless. Not something he’d make Dave do, but priceless nonetheless.

“No I was actually wondering if you wanted any. It’s the only food in this building you can’t get cancer from.”

“I don’t have a mouth, sir.” His phone guy reminds.

“I’m sure we could just shove it up your ass and have the same effect.”

“Sir, I’m not letting you shove salad up my ass.”

“:(“

“Did you just… say an emoticon? Also did you want to shove salad up my ass?!?”

“Ok, I’m bored now and I’ve endured too much Oscar by being in the same room as him.”

Jack grabs Dave’s hand again and drags him out of the room.

“So what is it… if I might ask… what is it you actually DO? During the days you’re here?” Dave asks Jack.

“Eh, I mostly just wander around looking for loose change and messing around.” Jack gets a dialup tone in response to this.

“Look if you really want to be doing actual work. How about we make a pizza? The eternal spirit of Ronaldo taught me how.”

“The WHAT NOW?!”

Dave mostly forced Jack to put on normal toppings. This wasn’t good. Jack was hoping to reawaken Dave’s chaotic urges by giving him opportunities to mess with people, but the factory had turned him into some perfect employee. Fortunately for Jack, he had a TRUMP CARD. A whole eggplant.

Dave was just about to put the pizza in the oven when he pulled out the plant. “Wait, Dave, one more ingredient.”

Dave seemed to freeze for a moment upon seeing the eggplant, as if remembering something. Holy shit was Jack’s stupidest plan to date working?

“An elusive aubergine!”

“H-how is it elusive.”

“Murder.”

“Of course. Well you can’t put it on the pizza it’s not sliced or anything.”

“Sure I can. He desires to be on the pizza, Dave. I’ve never been one to say no to aubergines.”

“Look I can tell that somehow by looking at you. But this particular EGGPLANT is telling you to do something EVIL.”

“Fake news. All aubergines tell me to do evil things.”

“The evil power of your purple vegetable is causing me to glitch, get it away from me. Kids won’t want to eat it anyway.”

“Sure they will. It’s delicious.” Jack decides to demonstrate this by taking a bite out of the eggplant.

“Ok now we REALLY can’t put it on the pizza, you bit it.”

“I have more.” Jack says, pulling more eggplants out of nowhere. Dave makes a dialup noise in response.

“Ok Sport, really, this is causin’ me to glitch.” Dave says, having apparently switched back to his real voice. Jack smiles upon hearing the nickname.

“Glitch smitch, it’s going on the pizza.” Jack moves to put it on the pizza.

“NO!” Dave jerks the pizza away. “I’m not letting you mess with my code!”

“Dave…” Jack sighs. He wants him back, as soon as possible. But he doesn’t want to hurt him again. He’s at least managed to START Dave remembering who he is. With some clever language and an aubergine alone.

Jack’s eggplants seem to disappear back into Jack’s Apparently bottomless pockets.

“Ok, I’ll stop. You win, normal pizza it is.”

“Actually…” Dave says, sounding somewhat unsure. Dave grabs one of the acid mushrooms Jack had tried to convince him to put in with the regular ones and sticks it on one of the slices. “Lil’ thing for whoever gets that piece.” Dave says. And for a moment Jack almost forgets he’s talking to a phone guy.

That night, Jack goes home hopeful for what the future might hold, for the first time since Dave had asked him to go to the factory, he feels things might be ok.

As for Dave? As soon as he goes into sleep mode, he has dreams of a time long past in which an aubergine and his tangerine took Vegas by storm.

(Notes: Aaaand fic two is done. It’s a better depiction of what to expect from the PG!Dave AU. Although there surely will be more angst like the first one. Not much more to say. Bai!)

#dsaf #dsaf phone guy #dsaf dave #dsaf old sport #dsaf 3 #dsaf jack #dsaf davetrap #dave miller #jack kennedy #davesport #dayshift at freddy's #fluff and angst #dsaf fanfic

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little-lightning-lavellan · 2 years ago

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Fic Writers Round-Up: 2022! 🖊️

Oooohohohoho let’s do some number crunching, shall we?? I was tagged by @pikapeppa and @noire-pandora (who are both incredible and you should read all of their works this is a threat I am threatening you :))) ) and I’m going to go ahead and tag my lovelies @because-im-hap-hap @rosella-writes @dreadfutures @bogunicorn @melisusthewee @jellydishes @effelants @emerald-amidst-gold & @bluedwarfed!

Might want to click the image to be able to see it better; I did realize how compressed it would get... oops! ^_^”

🖊️ New Things I Tried 🖊️

Started off the year strong with posting alien smut for the first time in Haunted by One Another! Inquisitor/Nizana have been an OTP of mine within different Star Wars RP groups for a hot minute (like, literal years a hot minute) so it was about time I actually got to writing about them and their dynamic.

And of course I started with smut because I’m a simple being at the end of the day, but also because they have a very base relationship that starts out as just Enemies With ‘Bennies. They’re kinda sorta real toxic, but I like to think even their smut speaks a lot for their dynamic and I had a lot of fun writing it. 💖

🖊️ Fic I Spent the Most Time On 🖊️

Its Dueteragony.

You know its Dueteragony, I know its Dueteragony, we can all go home now.

But, seriously, everyone here knows Dueteragony is my baby, and even though I didn’t get to work on it this year as much as I did last year, I think the overall quality of the writing was significantly higher. I may not have put out as much but I really think I’ve grown as a writer and I’m really happy about that. I’m still learning a lot and that’s really exciting!

🖊️ Favorite Thing I Wrote 🖊️

Its a pretty short piece, but Within you lies the Best of Us is definitely up there. There were moments in basically everything I wrote that made me super happy this year, but being able to gleefully wait for your friend to realize that your friend has received a gift fic HITS DIFFERENT.

Nothing feels better than the unadulterated rat screaming, I swear on me mum. 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖

🖊️ Writing Goals for Next Year 🖊️

ALRIGHTY, SO...

• Get Dueteragony mostly finished (I really want a good chunk of that bad boy done prior to Dreadwolf, if all of it. Though, I do accept that parts of the last fifth of the story may have to be tweaked depending on the events of Dreadwolf. I HAVE PLANS, I HAVE CHARTS, I HAVE SO MANY SPREADSHEETS.)

• Write a sequel to Haunted by One Another. I really want to post more of the Inquisitor and Nizana’s relationship, how they went from Enemies to Lovers, and also just... write more fun smut between those two losers. I’m currently working on a direct sequel, but I also want to do a prequel, and maybe some oneshots. I’ll most likely end up making a little series grouping for them and shove them all in there for ease of organization rigiuerbgierb

• Actually start that ding dang What If fic I was going to do of Felassan and Mellan that I promised @because-im-hap-hap and @rosella-writes I was going to do.

• Actually finish the draft and post the WandaVision AU fic of Solas and Mellan that I promised basically everyone I know that I would do--

• Finish the Solas in heat smut that I also promised I’d finish I’m so sorry everyone my goals should just be “finish your pile of WIPs you savage...”

This was a ton of fun and a really interesting way to look at all the things I’ve done this year. ^_^ It’ll really be fun to see what next year brings as well!! :D

Lots of love! 💖

#writing #tag game #tag games #fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #dragon age #solavellan #star wars #swr #dai #dragon age inquisition #star wars rebels #the grand inquisitor #bioware #solas #felassan #dreadwolf

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kofetalesnbpdchaos-leoreaper · 2 years ago

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What Does Life Look Like?

Chapter 1: Griefs of a Borderliner; My Mother.

I wanted to start off my ‘What Does Life Look Like?’ series talking about something. In fact I had wanted to not write something but… anyways!! It’s here now!

So, here goes… *loud whisper* nothing….

I’m a BPDer. That means I live with Borderline Personality Disorder.

I wanted to.. dive in deeply. Deeply into the depths of.. how I have these grievances & umm.. what are more my own personal experiences; a creation of shadows depicting things for you .

*breathes*

As you all know, people don’t just wake up one day & decide to grab these things . Cuz if I did, that’s just so silly?? Like… who would….

Who would want to cry inside all the bloody times?!

Cry about all day long sometimes having episodes of depressive bullshits that could last from hours to days?

Have such highhh intense emotions, where in which it feels as though I am .. in this case: grieving. The Dead?

Not a whole assed person, who’s alive and well & all that shit! No no, ahahaha, you’d definitely be mistaken . Mistaken it for the Dead, NOT ever for the .. bloody Living?!?!

I've thinking a lot lately. About how it is like to grieve the Living vs the bloody Dead peoples. How intense it is for me. How it must feel like for others with BPD too!

What I do grieve on is how much I will never ever... have that proper motherly connections. People have always been able to handle it. Haha.

But I? I jus cannot, in fact "handle it". Or "deal with it" as some may also say so.

It's like.. You're expecting me, someone who's tried to attempt at bettering themselves, finding ways to be better at approaching and shit-- keep going no matter what..? Why?

Why has it always been me ? Am I not allowed to complain? I used to says to myself, & I guess insolent creatures who barely have the capacities like the ways that I do, don't even think for a second why's it a failed dead relationship!

Don't get me wrong, I love my parents butt... IF you cannot accept one to be with an asshole of a lover or best friend-- what differences does it make if it's your own literal blood?

No sorry, lemme reframe that: Why would someone allow you to be with your abusive parents, but not with someone who isn't of your very own blood ? It's just fucking BLOOD. It doesn't mean Jack Shittingston!!

I grieve that. I grieve for not being able to have a family, it's been loong dead for me. You just aren't aware of it. Not up until now, perhaps? Huh.

I die each time I think about hugging my own mother. I just have stopped myself now, cuz mi mind's gonna play tricks on me.. again. She'll think that it is love, but the love that there is ? It cannot out weigh the pains and the horrors existing.

I can't ever talk about basic things now. It's gone too far onwards, through the mountains & high altitudes. I can't have proper conversations. A few bits and pieces are like peace through mild yet cautious common grounds. Common grounds are where the shit is calm seas. Sorta.

Unlike most, I can't ever talk about loves & shits alike. I can't speak my minds about my sexuality or my genderqueer identity. I can't exactly even speak of interesting Christian shits, so really... its all dead to me.

Sometimes I wonder. What's it like to have some kind of a relationship? With your mothers? How open are you? How does it feel like to have someone like that in one's own life? Tis not for .. those of us who're lacking them. Not us who don't have mothers. Rather those who do!

I feel so stuck. I feel extremely empty, trapped and suffocated. I don't like it but it's always just whatevers & a dash of eventuallys. The amounts of times I wasn't able to say "she's actually abusive." to those who's brain organs do exist unlike mines. I couldn't verbalise/vocalise it. I couldn't even see through it. Another thing to grieve . *whispers* it is it is..

Its true what they say, we BPDers be the grievers of what happened, and what has not happened. My soul breaks and she haunts the chasms of my dark abyss of a body. The mind. There's a whole detachment that goes on. A whole loada heaviness and sadness weighing down upon me. You can't climb up; up and leave it be. Wounds freshly seared and becoming known to me, it'll take a whole lot of an eternity to heal.

If I were immortal, perhaps I would be able to tell you the deeper differences of grieving Dead vs Living peoples. Sadly, ahaha, I am no immortal being, I am but a mortal soul who knows how to merely explain the differences.

To grieve the Dead, is to know that they are forever gone, gone far off into the Spirit Realm. Gone & always remembered. Heaviness weighs you and you cannot see them ever again. Not yet for now. Probably wishes of changes or words or things wanting to have been solved blossoms. They bloom within you. Years can go by, it can still hurt you, make you cry sometimes-- become so sad & lonely even.

To grieve the Living, is to know that they are still alive, here still breathing. Existing . An avalanche of horrors happen too, cuz you realise that there's no way things can be amended or fixed or whatever. You watch them daily, crying on the insides, detaching yourself and endlessly attempting to make changes that evaporate into the thin airs.

At the end of the day, they both still hurt. 1 where you wish shit could've changed before they passed on wards. The other, you wish to solve things & make em better-- but you've already come to terms that it's allll bloody dead. Gone away, so very far away. I guess I'd rather sit in the depths of Hell than to be alive on this damned realm & die continuously from stress & sadness. To me, grieving the Dead is far more better than grieving the Living. Cuz you don't have to die each time you hope for changes. For the Dead it isn't possible anymore to expect and hope for fucking changes. *whispers quietly* No more, no more...

-- Lena Eclipse Oriña Reaper. Leo Reaper. 29/04/2023.

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esprei · 2 years ago

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VOLO TIME *cue piano* OK SO... I’ve been meaning to write this up for a while now - my thoughts, observations and general musings on Volo (and maybe a headcanon or two?) (please keep in mind this will be very jumbled - literally just me trying to talk about why this character has grown on me and why I love him so much now so without further ado, let’s go! also, big shoutout to @sunnyluma for helping grab most of these screenshots tyyyyyy ;-;)

((under a cut because this will be loooong))

Ah, Volo... where do I even start? I was pretty indifferent towards him at first and the same can be said as I played through the game. I honestly thought that he was just a Legends Arceus version of Cynthia, nothing more nothing less (since, y’know he had similar looks, mannerisms and things, not to mention the whole various characters as ancestors bit). For some reason gen 4 is the gen that resonates with me the least (I’ve uh... never actually finished a gen 4 game or fought Cynthia 😬), and while I do think Cynthia is a really cool champion and character in general, I definitely don’t feel a lot of the same hype for her that others do. So that, in turn, applied to Volo for me as well. It was like a... he’s just there kind of situation. But fast forward from finishing the game to hyperfixation on submas to maybe... two months ago? Three now? I dunno, can’t remember the timeline, but what I DO remember is looking at Volo one day and being like... wow. He’s cool. I like him. More specifically, I was looking at his character design sheet at the time. And in that moment it really sank in that, wow this guy is freaking tall. 190cm? equivalent to 6′3″? What in the world. And just... something about that cocky smirk of his in his artwork, coupled with the fact that it’s right next to his goofy Arceus cosplay with that hair... He hooked me. Seriously. Look at him:

(This outfit has also grown on me btw I unironically love it because look at him he’s in his Arceus cosplay and he confidently rocks it like i can’t-) Anyway part of it is probably because I love characters who have crazy or sinister expressions. They can be fun! So then I rewatched the cutscene that happens after you win against him and Giratina because I couldn’t quite recall the sequence of events that happened there and I was curious. And MAN I was shocked... I did not really remember ANY of this?? Seriously, there’s so much packed into these last few lines before he walks away (forever... sobs...). I feel like I really see a glimpse into Volo’s complexity during this whole cutscene. Or, at the very least, his insecurities. Just take the following for example:

HE LOOKS SO SAD... SERIOUSLY, this particular little scene always gets to me. Like... ok. Yeah, he not too long before this ordered Giratina to strike you down to get the plates because he said he wasn’t above using force to get them from you, but it’s here where I really see a guy who’s questioning himself in this moment. It’s like he’s putting so much worth into Arceus’s view of him, he’s so convinced that he’s the chosen one because of his bloodline that when Arceus doesn’t choose him he’s lost. Confused. Surprised Pikachu face even.

I dunno... we unfortunately don’t have a lot of backstory on him, but I feel like this guy has (or feels like he has) a lot of pressure on his shoulders due to the nature of belonging to a bloodline that has pretty much since died out, save for himself and Cogita. Or maybe even that he put that pressure on himself? Which brings me to this... a scene that REALLY caught my attention when watched it again because I actually read what he says???

If you follow me over on twitter, you might have seen me talk about this scene a while back - more specifically what he says in the first two screenshots. It’s honestly one of the ones that led me to look into Volo even more because seriously... Volo. Who or what hurt you. What happened. Talk to me. PLEASE...

In all seriousness though, the lack of backstory kills me because I like to imagine something tragic happened to him in the past for him to have this viewpoint. And to not only have this viewpoint but to be driven enough to make a change in the world... err... rather, just make a new one!

But. Back to the lines after you defeat him and Giratina... what stands out to me here as well is Volo’s admission and acceptance of defeat. Watching it back the first time I was honestly a little caught off guard. He really kinda humbles himself and gives you the last plate, the Spooky Plate, admitting that his journey ended when lost to you. I don’t really focus too much on the other Pokemon villains admittedly so I’m not sure if others did this, but this sequence just stuck out to me because he gives it up after being so aggressive right before this. Like before he was confident, smug, hellbent on doing everything that he could to get you out of his way, you outsider, then when he Giratina ran off he was at first angry, then confused, questioning Arceus about it all, left with burning questions that he can’t bear not knowing the answer to... It’s like this man goes through the five stages in grief all in the span of like... 30 seconds.

Seriously, this man looks tired here. Done. Defeated. He knows it’s over.

He accepts it all, even if it’s just for a moment. ...Then right after that the Azure Flute forms for you and he’s right back to being an angry, petulant brat about it all... But that’s why I love him! He’s morally gray. He fights with himself, he fights with the internal emotional turmoil that he’s feeling about you being the one Arceus wants to see rather than him, about him not being good enough for Arceus to spare him even a second of its time, him thinking that he was doing something that needed to be done, rebuilding a new world free from pain and strife and other horrible things he’s had to experience, that others have no doubt experienced... (at least, this is what I see asfkldfj) And all of that, at least to me, makes him more interesting than the Volo I had first impressions of. Makes him feel more human to me. More than just “oh shoot, he’s the Cynthia ancestor who’s actually the villain instead of Cyllene!” Like... yeah. He made bad choices. He tried to use Giratina to strike you down. He wanted to subjugate Arceus and force it to create a brand new world, erasing the current one. Not a good look. I’m not trying to excuse any of that, and I’m not the best at organizing these thoughts probably, and I will admit that I also saw Volo as the manipulative, conniving guy early on because for me it was such a twist that he was the villain, so that’s what I focused on. And why he was such a great twist villain for me was because of the setup. By that, I mean you already had a well established character in Cynthia right - an all good, helpful, friendly and strong person - then you apply that to Volo and... boom. HE’S NOT THAT?? I was thinking at a certain point it was just going to be Kamado as the big bad because of the events that unfold, which is why with Volo it was EVEN BETTER because you had that sort of fake out I guess (for lack of a better term)? Kamado banishes you from Jubilife, Volo finds you in Obsidian Fieldlands and helps you, takes you to Cogita to help with the lake spirits and the Red Chain and all, you eventually hear that Kamado is going up to the temple to deal with the rift, then after those events Volo gets kinda sus at the Giratina statue riiiiight before you go up to the temple and then when you get up there... JACKET COMES OFF, OUTFIT CHANGE, etc etc. And like... I get why some people just do not like Volo and never will. I respect that. Trust me, I did NOT like Melli during the main game at all, I’ll tell you what. The little bit of background we get on him in the daybreak update was what changed my view on him, though. And for me what changed my general view on Volo were these scenes. I dunno, maybe I’m a broken record at this point, and maybe I’m a little biased now because I adore him, but I now see him as someone who maybe in the beginnings had noble intentions and just ended up going down the wrong path unfortunately.

Like... look. Right after he questions Arceus about what he’s lacking he asks this:

To me, he’s doubting it all now. And like the moments I mentioned above, him questioning the grand ol’ creator what it is he’s lacking, what makes him not good enough, we see a bit of his human side. Scenes like these and scenes like when he gives you the Spooky Plate lead me to think he has a lot of insecurities hidden underneath that confident (and other times cheery and playful) demeanor. Whether it’s a burden, an expectation, his own self-imposed pressures... there’s just a smidge that we can see and so much more that could be possible if he had more story elements focused on him. (WHICH IS WHY I WANT PLA DLC SO BAD I KNOW IT’S WISHFUL THINKING BUT PLEASE) I’d also like to mention that I think it’s very very interesting that his trainer class for his last battle is “Pokemon Wielder” rather than the “Ginkgo Guild Member” class he has for his other battles. I don’t feel like “Pokemon Wielder” is negative in its connotation - rather, I’d like to think that it derives from his bloodline, the Celestica people, and the thought that perhaps they were the first tamers of Pokemon in the land of Hisui. This thought is due to the fact that he’s excited to see another person (you) who uses Pokeballs for their Pokemon (rather than the Diamond and Pearl clans whose leaders and wardens do not use Pokeballs at all - with Ingo being the (other) exception to that rule of course). That coupled with the fact that he looks genuinely disappointed that more people don’t use them (this line here):

And, of course, how can I fail to mention his Pokemon team itself? Look. Really. If you know anything about me lately it is that I ADORE the idea of Volo adoring his Togepi. Which then would evolve into a Togetic through high friendship. And then into a Togekiss through use of Shiny Stone, but you get my point right? Budew into Roselia, Riolu into Lucario... Yes, I know, I know, Volo is Hisuian Cynthia so the team matches for the most part outside of H. Arcanine, and the joke about him gaslighting his Pokemon into evolving is funny on the surface, but in reality I think he genuinely loves his Pokemon. For goodness sake, there’s a photo of him and Togepi outside of the photo booth! And and and the standee that was recently announced as merch?!

LOOK AT HOW HE HOLDS LITTLE TOGEPI. YOU CANNOT TELL ME THIS MAN DOESN’T LOVE HIS EGG. LOOK AT HOW HE HOLDS EGG. EGG DAD. ...Sorry. Got a little carried away there. But yes! I think he loves his Pokemon, genuinely. Which is why it kills me when he says this:

Like bro. Your Pokemon were right there in that battle. VOLO PLEASE- (ALSO JUST A QUICK MENTION ABOUT THIS LINE, it also leads me to think that he’s kinda... always been alone for the most part, outside of his Pokemon team maybe 🥺 probably more of a headcanon than anything but that’s just how I feel sdflkjsdlfkj) Alright... I think I’ve said enough at this point and it’s a mess and I’m not too sure I can ever put quite how I feel about Volo into proper words because I’m not the best at this kind of thing but... I just want to say that he’s a character that I have accelerated in love and appreciation for because he’s just... I dunno, he’s got a lot going on. And I think maybe some of that gets missed because of his ties to Cynthia and his betrayal. But I’m reaaaaaally hoping to see him again in the near future. A random house in one of the cities either in the new region or in Unova (if we get B/W remakes) will suffice 🥲 So uh... YEAH. tl;dr I think Volo is a great character with a little more under the surface than just the villain reveal twist at the end of the game and I’m rooting for him all the way. Him and Togepi (Togekiss?).

Alright. That’s all I got! Byeeeee y’all 👋

#pokemon volo #volo #ginkgo guild volo #sorry i tried my best to make this.... sorta organized #and i did my best to get the sequence right so apologies if i missed anything #i prrrrrobably forgot something #but that's ok! ;w;#anyway yeah this man ruined my marriage my life he toOK EVERYTHING FROM ME #he lives in my head rent free #send help please

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 3 years ago

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So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!”

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones

#actuallyautistic #not a shitpost #holy shit how did i spend 3 hours writing this what even is my blog #this blog is supposed to be blue whale anxiety and uncomfortably sexy clown jokes #what am i doing #sensory processing disorder #sensory issues #mental health #actually autistic #NOTIFY ME OF ANY TYPOS #i proofread this 5 times my eyes weep an unceasing flood of blood and regret #adhd #actuallyadhd #autism #sensory problems

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haitaniplug · 3 years ago

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haitani ran x fem!reader

genre: friends → lovers (sorta) , angst

cw: slight toxic ran , platonic friendship , jealousy , possessiveness, drugs , sex.

this is going to be a longggg one since i stopped posting for a while

ANYWAY HOPE U ENJOYYYYY

word count : 6406

"Just confess to him [Y/N]," Nami stated, "your crush isn't going to go anywhere anytime soon so just fuck it right !"

You side-eyed her before sighing, "It's not that easy man. He's like my best friend and I don't want to lose him."

"Have you seen the way he looks at you?" Nami cut you off, "it's like totaaaally a look of love. I catch him staring at you all the time even if you're from a distance."

Hearing this, your ears perked up. Whipping your head in her direction, you ask, "He does?"

She nods. "You haven't noticed...?"

Shaking your head. How could you have never noticed it? "Nami, if I confess to him, and he doesn't feel the same way back," you paused, "you're buying me ice-cream for a month straight and letting me use your Netflix."

"You're over-reacting [Y/N]," she rolled her eyes, "I'm so confident in this, I'll take you up on your stupid offer."

"Deal." You both shook hands.

—Confession Day—

"I like you, Ran."

......

"I like you too, you're a good friend," Ran smiled before grabbing your remote, scrolling through the channels, "Could you pass the chips?" He asked, still scrolling but you were frozen in place.

A friend? A fucking FRIEND?!

Maybe he just misunderstood what I was saying. Yeah, that has to be it..... unless he really does like me as only a friend and wanted to end the conversation right there before I end up confessing again and he has to cut me out of his life.

Shit!

"Hellooooo," Ran waved in front of your face, "earth to [Y/N]," snapping his fingers in front of your face, you snapped out of it. "Sorry!"

Ran nudged your shoulder, "it's cool, pass the chips," You nodded and grabbed the packet of chips, opening it before handing it to him. "Um, Ran."

"Hm?"

Fuck it.

"Did you hear what I said earlier?" You asked and he nodded, digging through the chips still. "Did you understand what I meant?"

"Yeah, you like me. I like you too, that's why we're friends."

Friend zoned again. You internally face-palmed yourself. Either he was stupid as fuck, or genuinely understood what you meant and is avoiding it like the plague.

You grabbed his hand, making him pause his scrolling, "More than that Ran."

Your chest heaved up and down as the silence was deafening. You could hear every small sound, you could've sworn you even heard the wind outside.

"Oh." Ran finally said something, after a good few moments.

"So?" You asked, hope in your eyes that he likes you back, but due to the silence, you knew you fucked up.

"I just see you as a friend, sorry."

Heart shattered. Who knew an organ could be so brittle from just a few words. Embarrassment flooded your entire body and you looked everywhere but him. He seemed to notice and tried to reassure you, "But we can still be friends? I don't want to lose you."

Trying hard to control the tears threatening to slip out of your eyes, you nodded. "That'll be great, thanks Ran."

Who also knew that Ran was a liar.

It's been 3 days since that incident. Ever since he left your house that night, he's been avoiding you. At first you thought maybe he just never saw you, but you knew he was avoiding you when you saw him with Rindou out in public yesterday.

Rindou called your name out from across the street and you waved back, so your presence was clearly known to Ran, but he refused to look at you. That's when reality hit you.

"I, um," Nami stuttered, "I didn't expect it to go this bad...." You were rolled up in a ball on your bed once reality hit you that Ran most definitely hates you right now, and you'll never go back to being friends.

And even if eventually you do end up being friends again, it won't be like before. It would be so awkward.....

"I hate you so much Nami." Your voice was muffled due to the mountain of sheets on your bed.

"Im sorry!!" Nami whined as she sat on the edge of your bed, slowly removing the covers. "At least you know hes a fuckin' jerk so you can move on right?"

You lifted your head up to glare at her. "I don't want to move on though. I. Want. Him." Tears were threatening to leave your eyes again as you thought about him.

"I'm so sorry [Y/N]—" Nami felt bad honestly. She genuinely thought you two would be a couple, cause like you both look perfect for each other. Maybe she got too caught up in her own fantasy, not realising that Ran was probably not the best person to commit to a stable relationship.

"Wanna go get ice-cream?"

Those words made you sit up, nodding. All you wanted to do right now is cry yourself in bed with choking on some ice-cream and watching shitty rom-com so you could feel better about yourself.

You spent the next few days in bed, avoiding human contact. Rindou hit your phone up a lot but you avoided him too. Nami was the only person that saw you since she was your dormmate , but you locked yourself in your room.

The only times you got out was to go to the fridge to get more ice cream. You were a fucking mess.

But all that changed a week later, Nami stormed into your room, hitting her head on the door since she forgot it was locked. You flinched from the sudden loud thud from the other end of the door before scoffing, "Leave me alone."

"[Y/N]! Let me in please!"

You rolled your eyes, dropping the ice-cream tub and rolling out of bed, waddling to the door. "What?"

"Look!" Nami handed you tickets ?

"What is this?" You held them up to eyeline.

"Look at them. Rindou bought this for us." You blinked, reading the name at the top. "A carnival? Who needs tickets for that? Isn't it free?"

"Yes dummy, but the rides aren't." Nami placed her arm around your shoulder, "Rindou bought this for us cause he misses you."

"That's cute," you pouted, "but I'm not going."'

"[Y/N]! He spent so much on these!"

"You're not understanding the point Nami!" You yelled, "If I go, guess who's going to be there?"

Nami paused, thinking but she was taking too long so you interrupted her thoughts. "His brother Nami."

"Oh... OH!" She rubbed the back of her head, "I don't think he will be there. I'll call him up right now." Before she could grab her phone, you stopped her. "Don't."

"What? Why?"

"Rindou will tell Ran that I asked if he was going to be there or not. If he ends up showing up, and I don't go, he will know I'm avoiding him. If he says he's not going to be there and I show up, it'll be clear I'm avoiding him!"

Nami blinked. "But he's avoiding you.... so what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that I don't want him to know that him avoiding is affecting me!" You sighed, so tempted to slam your door shut and crawl back into bed. You mouth already missing the taste of your ice cream.

"I mean, you not showing up is already clear you're avoiding him." Now you looked at Nami confused as she continued, "If you show up and he's there, he will know that you're doing well without him. If you show up and he's not there, then Rindou will tell Ran that you're not some depressed freak cause of him."

For once, Nami was actually making sense. "True....."

Nami could tell that you were slowly getting on aboard, so she continued trying to persuade you, "Then after you have fun with Rindou, maybe even hook up with a few dudes so Rindou will tell Ran that you don't care about him, then you can come back and lie in bed with your ice cream."

Hook up..?

You did need to get laid, it's been so long. Ever since your crush on Ran developed, you refused to even look at another guy. Too focused on Ran himself.

"Alright fine," you sighed whilst Nami cheered. "Get ready! We're meeting him at 7PM."

You nodded, shutting your door and looking at the time on your phone. It was 6:23PM. Great.

You got dressed, took a shower, got ready into something casual. After all, it's just a carnival. Nami did your hair into a cute hairstyle in the living room before her phone buzzed. A text message from Rindou saying

We're here.

WE!?!"!"!

Nami quickly hid the message notification but you already seen it.

"We....." You muttered under your breath. Suddenly your heart started racing again, "Nami I can't do this! I was so prepared cause of the possibility that he wasn't going to show up, but now that it's actually happening I-i cant.."

"[Y/N] stop acting like that." Nami rolled her eyes, "you can do it. It might not even be Ran. It could be Sanzu... or um, Mikey or....... uh Rindou's date..?"

You could tell she was running out of shit to say. It was so obviously Ran.

"You're already ready, you look sexy as fuck! If it is Ran, just ignore him! He's not worth your time."

"Not even two weeks ago, you were saying he's perfect for me etc."

Nami stood up, straightening her clothes, "That was because I didn't know he was a fucking douche two weeks ago. But now I am educated so I'll be there for you." She held her hand out for you to take it.

You sighed, "I hate you," said with a smile on your face grabbing her hand as you both left your apartment. Rindou was parked outside in a fancy looking car, much different than the ones Rindou drove.

"Are you sure that's the car?" You asked before the window rolled down and Rindou waved you both over. Rindou was sat in the front seat, with someone you never met before in the front seat.

Ran was sat at the far end of the window, staring out the window with his chin in his palm, not even looking at you and Nami.

There were two empty seats next to him. You waited for Nami to enter first so she would be in the middle but instead she went to the front window that Rindou rolled down and started to converse with him.

You glared at her in betrayal. It would be so obvious that you were avoiding Ran if you waited for her to finish talking to Rindou before entering the car. You took a gulp before entering the car, making sure you left a little bit of space between you and Ran.

Not long after you sat down, Nami entered next to you and beamed you a smile to which you sent her another glare.

Betrayal counter : 1

The drive to the carnival was awkward. You were introduced as Rindo's friend to the driver who you just learnt name was Kokonoi. You assumed this must've been his car since he looked rich af.

You occasionally sent side eyes to Ran as if it was some reflex. Ever since you developed a crush on him, you had a habit of staring at him from a distance or whenever you possibly could.

Seems that he must've noticed because he turned to face you, sending you his cocky smirk. Whipping your head around too fast made him laugh a little before bumping his shoulder against yours. "Missed you."

You ignored him, scrolling on your phone, acting like you didn't hear what he said. He laughed again before re-facing the window.

Your heart was beating so fast you could hear it in your ears. Bringing your phone out, you texted Nami who was seated just next to you.

To NAMI

why would u make me sit next to him

guck you

fuck*

From NAMI

SORRRY!

I jsut wanted to talk to Rindou

To NAMI

YOU COULDN'T DO THAT AT THE CARNIVAL?!"!?

You heard a giggle next to you, then realising how close Ran was to you because he was reading your messages. "Talking about me when I'm right next to you... who knew you were so confident [Y/N]."

You swallowed nervously, why did you bring your phone out.........

Only one thing to do now.

Deny deny deny.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You tossed your phone onto your lap, forgetting to turn it off and it happened to land upwards, the text messages on full display.

"You're cute when you lie [Y/N]." Ran said before conversing with Rindou at the front.

He thinks I'm cute?

He has to be fucking with me. Who does he think he is? How can he reject me, ghost me, then flirt with me?

Fuck you Ran Haitani.

That was enough of Ran for the day. Now you were even more determined to ignore him.

Arriving at the carnival, everyone was getting out of the car but Ran grabbed your hand, telling the others to go ahead. Nami sent you a good luck look before shutting the car door. Koko tossed Ran the car keys so he could lock up when he's done.

And just like that, you were both left alone.

You looked everywhere but him as he gathered the words to talk.

"Are you mad at me?"

You noticed his voice was a little strained... as if he was sad? Why the fuck would he be sad.

"No." You lied, "No I'm not." Sending him a faux smile to get out of this situation quicker.

"Alright, just checking."

You looked up at him, your thoughts betraying you. He cares about me?

No, he doesn't. If he did, he wouldn't have been avoiding you.

But he cared enough to have this conversation with you alone.

He's fucking with your feelings [Y/N], listen to ME! He doesn't care about you, this was established for weeks.

You were so confused. What should you believe? Didn't matter either way because your thoughts were cut short when Ran interlaced his fingers with yours and helped you out of the car.

The feelings you tried so hard to get rid of these past few weeks came back so fast.

Betrayal counter: 2

Arriving with the others, they were all by the pretzel stand. Nami was conversing with Rindou and Koko was nowhere to be found.

Little did you and Nami know that Rindou, Ran and Koko came here for ' business ' reasons and needed distractions so incase they were being followed, they could use the excuse that they were hanging out with their friends.

Ran sent Rindou a look before unlinking his hands from yours. "Girls, stay here, we gotta go do something real quick."

You both nodded and dipped. You were already telling Nami everything that happened in the car. She was happy for you, but she didn't believe that Ran would switch up that fast.

"I still think you should move on [Y/N]—."

No.

"—I'm happy for you and all but Ran still fucking sucks ass and you deserve better. You can just be friends with him."

"But-"

"No buts. Now come let's find someone for you." Nami grabbed your hand and led you through the carnival. Her eyes landing on these group of boys that looked a little sketchy, but that didn't cross her mind. All she knew was that they're fucking hot as fuck and she wants them.

You were sort of jealous of her confidence. The way she just approached them as if they were friends and started up conversation. The dude wrapped his arm around Nami's shoulder before whispering something into her ear.

Her eyes went wide and she nodded rapidly. They all smirked and told her to follow. She sent you a gesture to follow them too. You were super sceptical about this, mind still on Ran.

You told Nami you'd join her later, but for now, you needed to find Ran.

Walking around the carnival, you saw him in the crowd since he was so tall, he stood out so easily. But he was looking down, as if he was talking to someone.

You blinked, trying to jump up to see who he was talking to, until the bodies surrounding Ran moved away and your heart shattered for the second time this month.

His hand was around this girls face, as she smiled and blushed up at him. You were far away, but saw everything clearly as if you were right infront of them. His smile when he brushed his finger on her bottom lip as she spoke.

You wanted to throw up. You immediately brought your phone out, asking Nami to send her location.

Fuck you Ran Haitani.

Not long after, Nami sent her location, as well as a picture of her sitting on one of the boys lap and he rolled up weed behind her.

You put your phone in your bag, before making your way over to the location. It was still in the carnival, but behind all the commotion, like an abandoned parking lot.

"You're here!" Nami said, her voice slurred as if she was high. As soon as you approached, the smell of weed hit you that your eyes watered.

"Wow, I didn't expect weed to be this strong," you coughed. One dude ears perked up and turned to face you, "You never smoked before?"

Shaking your head out of embarrassment. He laughed lightly before patting the seat next to him. Well not really a seat, since they were seated on top of a car.

Music playing from inside the car, Nami already started making out with the dude next to her and you felt out of place until the guy placed his arm next to your waist, just lightly touching it.

"You wanna try some?" He asked and you looked him in his eyes, realising how attractive this guy is.

Not Ran level attractive but—

Stop thinking about Ran. He's a douche. Focus on this guy right here.

You nodded and shifted to face him. He grabbed your chin lightly, lifting it up. "Pick 1 or 2."

You tilted your head confused, but chose a number anyway. "2."

He nodded, taking a hit of the blunt before tighenting his grip on your chin and leaning down. You were so dumb, you thought he was going to kiss you, so you prepared for a kiss until you were met with smoke blowing down your throat, causing you to pull back and cough.

He started to laugh, "Sorry baby, should've explained what I was doing first huh?"

"Yeah you should've." You said between coughs.

"Want to try again?" He asked, holding it up now. You nodded again, now prepared with the situation. It went better this time to be honest, although the burn in your throat make you cough slightly but it was managable.

20 minutes went by and you were already high. You rested your head on the dude who's name you didn't even knows shoulder as Nami struck up conversation with the other guys.

There was around 5 guys there. You and Nami being the only girls but for some reason you weren't intimadated or scared that they would do anything to do.

Maybe it was the drugs.

Nami was sat on the lap of one guy as they sat on the car hood. But you and the other dude were sat on the car roof, on top of everybody.

He turned to face you, seeing how dazed you were right now and smiled. You looked so cute.

"What's your name baby?" He asked and you mumbled, "[Y/N]" whilst smiling like an idiot.

"My name is Sanosuke." You didn't respond verbally, but nodded. He was amused seeing you this fucked out only after a few hits. He had this weird protectiveness over you already and he only just found out your name.

Nami's phone buzzed once, then twice then three times, but she ignored it. Until she started to get spammed with phone calls. The dude behind her started to get annoyed and grabbed her phone, telling her to answer it.

She sighed, since she was mid conversation with his friends but answered the phone regardless. "Nami Kamo here, how can I assist youuuuuuuu!" She giggled confusing Rindou on the other line.

"Are you fucking high?"

"Yup!"

Rindou face-palmed, "Where the fuck are you? We told you to stay in one place!"

"M'gone!" She started laughing even though nothing was remotely funny. "Nami, tell me where you are right now."

"Poof!"

"This bitch," Rindou muttered, "Where is [Y/N]?"

"She's um," Nami looked up to where you were sat on top of the car with Sanosuke, both of you making out passionately. "WOOOO GO [Y/N]!" She cheered out loudly, making you pull aware and glare at her for ruining your moment.

But Sanosuke grabbed your chin and tilted you back to face him, nipping at your lips once again and just like that you both melted into a rhythm.

"She's busy right now hehe," Nami chuckled into the phone, laughing even harder when she heard the face palm Rindou gave himself. "Send me your location right now." Was the last thing he said before hanging up.

Nami sent him the location and not long after, Rindou arrived with Ran and Koko. "Oh you've gotta be kidding me." Ran said as he saw you passionately making out with the dude Ran hates the most.

Sanosuke was the commando unit of the active gang associated with Kantou Manji. Ran and Sanosuke met in juvie back in 2001 and they never got along. Sanosuke and Rindou got along sort of, until they parted ways and joined different gangs.

The whole entire reason that Ran, Koko and Rindou showed up to this fucking festival in the first place was to get information on them and do a drug trade deal which Sanzu was leading.

But the members disappeared and they were no where to be found. Except now they're here, doing the drugs that they were supposed to dealing. The look on Koko's face was priceless. All the money he was supposed to make, down the drain as he watched them all smoke.

Ran walked up over to where Nami was and she cheered when she saw them. "RAN!"

He ignored her and focused on the dude behind her, "You serious right now? Doing the drugs we were supposed to deal?"

The guy shrugged, "Sorry, something came up." He brought his big hands down to Nami's crotch area and started to caress her and she leaned into his touch.

Rindou scoffed, walking over to where she was and dragged her off his lap, ignoring her protests.

You and Sanosuke were too in the moment to realise what was going on as you kept on making out, obliviously. Until Rindou hit the side of the car rapidly, making you both snap out of it and look down. "[Y/N] let's go,"

"I don't wanna," you responded, turning your attention back to Sanosuke, who this time didn't reciprocate. "Wait Rindou? You know [Y/N]?"

If Rindou knew you, then..... Sanosuke's eyes travelled over to Ran himself who was watching Koko scream at the guy for fucking up this drug exchange.

"YO Ran!" Sanosuke yelled out to catch his attention. Ran simply glared up at him from where he was sitting. You accidentally made eye contact with Ran and felt sick again.

Being high for a moment made you forget about your feelings for Ran, but seeing him here right now made you remember what happened with him and that fucking chick.

Once you were sure that Ran was holding eye contact with you, you turned back to face Sanosuke, moving yourself to be on his lap. The sudden movement caught him off guard and he rested his hand on your lower back to stop you from falling off the car.

You reattached your lips together and it wasn't long until he started to melt into the kiss. His grip shifted from your lower back to your hips, holding you firmly in place and Ran watched the entire thing.

His blood was boiling.

As much as he wanted to rip you off of him, he knew he couldn't. What reason did he have to do that?

"You're gonna make out while I'm right here?" Rindou scoffed, "Sanosuke, bring her down, I need to get her home."

Sanosuke made a noise of disagreement as he tilted his head to kiss you at a deeper angle. You let out a soft moan that made him even harder than he already was.

Until the car shook again and Sanosuke finally broke the kiss. "Okay fuck! Fine!" He gently pushed you off him and hopped off the car roof, holding his arms out for you to jump down too.

Once on the ground around, your legs were wobbly and you almost fell, but Sanosuke grabbed you before you could fall. "You good?"

You nodded rapidly even though your vison was blurring. Ran clicked his tongue and tapped Koko on the shoulder who finally stopped shouting at the guy for wasting his money. "Lets go." Ran said gruffly and made his way over to you.

Rindou and Sanosuke were conversing as if you weren't even there and you yawned. The sudden noise making Sanosuke turn to face you, "you tired babe?"

"Babe?" Rindou asked, "you dating?"

Sanosuke ignored him and waited for you to answer. "yeah, I'm sleepy."

"Rindou will take you home okay?" He spoke in such a gentle voice and it made you horny.

"Okay.." you made your way over to Rindou who grabbed your hand to keep you sturdy. "I'll take her to the car," Ran said out of nowhere and your blood was boiling just hearing his voice. You don't know if its the drugs thats making your emotions go haywire but you wanted to punch Ran so bad.

"No." you said glaring up at him. Sanosuke noticed your reaction and looked over to Ran, "You know him?" He asked you and you nodded, looking down.

"I'll get her and Nami, you calm Koko down." Rindou said, leading you and Nami back to the car.

Sanosuke was about to leave until Ran stopped him, "Leave her alone."

Now Sanosuke was amused. A smile on his face as raised his brow, "Or what?"

"Don't fuckin' play with me right now." Ran's voice was serious, "you know what happened the last time we fought."

Sanosuke was almost Ran's height so it gave him some confidence, "She your girlfriend or something?"

"No—"

"Then I don't see why I should back down," Sanosuke shrugged and it made Ran angrier. Sanosuke even had the nerve to rub his bottom lip, where you kissed him, "She's a good kisser."

Ran looked down at his thumb, jealously flooding through him for some strange reason. He didn't even know why he was feeling this way. He doesn't even like you.

Ran backed away walking towards Koko, practically dragging him away from the dude he was yelling at.

Back in the car, you fell asleep as soon as you hit the seat. Nami fell asleep next to you as they drove you back to your apartment. You both had to be carried inside to sober down.

Ran was the one to carry you inside and dropped you on your bed, tucking you in and everything. Similar to Sanosuke, the urge to protect you was over the roof.

***

The next day, you texted the groupchat, asking what the fuck happened yesterday. You were high, but vaguely aware what was going on. You knew you were making out with Sanosuke but you just needed to make sure it wasn't a dream and you really had the most heated make out session of your entire life.

ran: you were blacked out yesterday?

Ran's blood was fuming, if you were, he was going to Sanosuke's house and beating him to a bloody pulp for taking advantage of you.

you: no i wasnt, i knew i made out with this dude called sanosuke

you: and yes it was consentual just wanna make sure i wasn't dreaming

nami: YEAH IT HAPPENED

rindo: it was disgusting to see you make out with my friend

you: your friend???

you: YYOU KNOW HIM?

rindo: yup

you: can i have his number .......................................

ran: fuck no

you: WHA WHY

Ran didn't know why. He just refused to hand it over.

you: GASP

you: is ran ran jealous

ran: tf?

ran: no

you: then gimme his number pls

rindo: -sends number-

you: TY RINNNN

As soon as you got his number, you ran to the living room where Nami was studying and asked for advice. "What do I send him?" You asked her, holding your phone out.

"I don't know! Say hey!"

You typed out hey then waited for his response. It had been a good 30 minutes till he responded back with whos this?

You slapped yourself, you should've introduced yourself first.

you: it's Y/N hiiii

"This is so awkward gosh," Nami sighed.

"I know! I just don't know what to say," You tossed the phone on the couch, waiting for his response.

"At least you're over Ran." Nami said, seeing you go beserk over this new dude.

Oh yeah... about that....

Were you really over him? Or are you just trying to move on and hide your feelings?

"I think I am over him." You said to Nami who sent you a smile, muttering some shit about finally.

sanosuke: oh hey baby

sanosuke: u miss me?

you: pfft no

sanosuke: :(

you: ok maybe i did

You and Sanosuke spent the next few days flirting over text, a part of you wishing it was Ran on the other end of the line, but he has his new girlfriend now.

But at least things were no longer awkward between you and Ran. You could both be in the same room without that awful awkward tension between the two of you.

Ran noticed you smiling at your phone often while texting and his first thought was Sanosuke.

Why was Ran getting so heated over this?

Is it cause he has feelings for you?

Nah.

It's cause you're texting Sanosuke, his enemy.

Yeah, it's totally that, not the first one at all.

"You dating him or what?" Ran said suddenly, making you look up from the phone. "Dating who?"

"Him." He gritted his teeth and pointed to your phone, he couldn't bring himself to say Sanosuke's name.

"Oh, Sanosuke?" You asked with a tilt of your head. "No we aren't dating."

Ran nodded, mouthing cool. Maybe he still had a chance?

Idiot, no he doesn't like you.

***

The next day, you added Sanosuke into the groupchat., since you were oblivious to the fact that him and Ran hate each other.

ran: why the fuck is he here

you: bc hes my friend ran be nice

sanosuke: ew ran

rindo: oh no

nami: whats going on

sanosuke: ran hates me cuz im stealing his precious yn away from him

ran: i dont like her

you: ouch

nami: ouch x2

sanosuke: more for me then

ran: get the fuck out

rindo: stop arguing fucking hell

sanosuke: ran's mad i made out with yn

you: he is?

ran: its just a kiss bro are you a third grader?

nami: you couldn't do it if u tried HAHAHA

ran: say less

Ran went offline one second and the next, there was a knock at your door. You were confused but went and opened it. Ran stood there, and wasted no time attaching his lips to yours.

Your mind was telling you to push him off and run over to Sanosuke, but your body betrayed you, wrapping your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.

He slid his arms down your legs, lifting you off the ground. You wrapped your arms around his waist as he carried you over to your room, dropping you on the bed gently. "Can I?" He asked and you nodded.

You didn't even know what he was asking permission for, you just needed him. Ran left a trail of passionate kisses along your jaw before pulling away to tug your shirt off. You watched in awe as he started to undress you.

Unsure why he's suddenly doing this, you went along with it because you were craving this for so long. You sat up and allowed him to remove your bra, watching you fall back down the mattress, the way your boobs bounced from the contact.

Ran leaned back down, attaching his nipples to yours and you laced your fingers in his hair, massaging his scalp gently as he switched nipples, coating them with his spit and biting.

"Ran—fuck." You moaned softly when he sucked on your nipple hard. You never knew how sensitive they were until Ran went down on you.

Making his journey down, he left more kisses along your thighs, taking his time as he marked you up, licking the skin along your thighs before sucking harshly. Hickies forming easily as he finally reached your pussy.

He sat up, removing your underwear and you lifted your hips up to help. He sat with his face between your legs and started to suck on your clit.

You gripped onto his hair, tugging it harshly as he began to flick his tongue along your clit. "Ran...shit— i-" your words were cut short when he stuck his tongue inside your hole, stretching you slightly. Throwing your head back as your body twitched from the intrusion.

Ran hummed and replaced his tongue, with his fingers, inserting it slowly as he began to make out with your clit again. You were grinding your lower body along his face to feel more friction but Ran didn't like that. He removed his fingers and dug his nails into your hips to keep you in place.

Tugging your legs over his shoulders as he dug his face deeper between your legs. You were panting so hard by now, your hands were covering your mouth to lower the noises you were making as he sucked on your clit.

Your body couldn't take it anymore, and betrayed you, coming all over his face. He gave your pussy one more kiss before pulling away, hovering on top of you. You instantly grabbed his face and kissed him, opening your mouth for him to stick his tongue inside.

You sucked on the muscle making him groan in your mouth. You needed him so fucking bad. "Please Ran." You had no clue what you were begging for, but the words left your mouth regardless.

"Please what?" He grinned against your lips, noses touching as he waited for you to finish your sentence.

"Please fuck me..."

"As you wish," you sat back on his knees, removing his hoodie, revealing a black tank top. Your eyes widended seeing the outline of his tattoos on his shoulder. Removing his shirt, your eyes widened even more seeing the ink on his chest. "Oh god."

He smirked at your reaction before hovering over you again, kissing you as he alligned his cock with your entrance. Pushing it in slowly, he swallowed the moan that tried to leave your mouth.

You broke the kiss to moan as he pushed all of himself inside you in a single thrust. "You good?" He asked and you nodded rapidly.

"Use your words baby."

"Yes—Ran please, fuck—move!" You were getting impatient and moaned loudly when he thrusted inside you, pulling out and slamming back inside of you.

"God, you're so fucking tight." He leaned down and kissed you again. Your arms wrapped around his neck, spreading your legs wider for him to go even faster.

It had been so long since you fucked someone, so your body was starved.

"Moaning like— fuck— a whore. Hm? You my cock slut hm?" He spoke through ragged breaths as he could feel himself reaching his climax, but he didn't want to cum yet. It had barely been a minute.

"Yes Ran! M'yours." You moaned, throwing your head back as he went even faster.

"Good, you belong to me, not fuckin," thrust, "Sanosuke." thrust, "Say it."

"All yours Ran," your moans were getting louder as he went even faster. He grabbed your hands and lifted you up, making you straddle him, "Go on, show me how much you want it."

You nodded, placing your arms on his shoulder for balance and started to bounce on him, grinding your hips down when you made contact.

He gripped onto your hips tightly and started to lift you up just to slam you back down again, revelling in the delicious moan that left your lips.

Attaching his lips to your neck, he sucked and licked your skin, biting a bit too hard that blood started to drip. You were too cock hungry to notice as you continued to ride him as if you were getting paid.

Ran came inside you with "Fuck," being his only warning and you stilled as you felt his cum drip down your legs. "Ran..."

"Shit, sorry." He smirked, knowing that his cum was deep inside you and Sanosuke's wasn't.

"Ran." you said while he was cleaning his cum dripping down from your legs.

"Hm?"

"Why did you come and fuck me so suddenly?" Finally snapping back to your senses, you realised this wasn't normal for him to do.

"Cause I got dared." He shrugged as he continued to wipe you down.

....

"The fuck?" You shoved him off you, "are you being for real right now?"

"Yeah, did you not see the groupchat?"

You felt so stupid. You felt hurt and stupid. "Get out,"

"What?"

"I said, get the fuck out." Your voice was stern and harsh, even though you were fighting back tears. "GET OUT"

"Okay damn," he put his clothes back on and slammed your door shut. Once you heard the front door shut, you cried, letting all the tears out. He really used your body for a fucking dare, despire KNOWING you like him.

Does he think your feelings are a fucking joke?

Fuck you Ran Haitani.

****

lmk if u want a part twoooooooooooooooo

#ran x you #ran x y/n #haitani ran x reader #ran angst #ran x reader #ran smut #ran haitani drabble #ran haitani angst #ran haitani smut #ran haitani x reader #haitani ran angst #haitani ran fluff #haitani ran smut #haitani ran x y/n #haitani ran x you #ran haitani x you #ran haitani x y/n #tokyo rev x reader #tokyorev smut

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iamthemain-character · 3 years ago

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Hi, I saw you were open for requests, I hope that's still the case.

It's nice to see someone writing for Star Trek.

I wondered if you could do a Mccoy x reader fic, please?

If so, here's my request...

(I'm gonna make it coloured when im referring to Them as a like... Gender.)

So I was thinking, everyone thinks the reader is quite shy because they're very... Vulcan when on duty, they get the job done the most efficient way and don't stop to chat much. Because of this humans don't tend to approach them looking for friendship as they seems cold and uninterested. In their free time they're very adventurous, kind, and warm, they love learning about new things and other cultures. Their only close friend on the Enterprise is Vulcan, as they take time to learn about their customs and culture and understand them more than the average human. For some reason they end up in sickbay for a few days and they get to know Mccoy, they sort of bond over everyone thinking they're both cold and kinda grumpy. They then find themselves having feelings for Mccoy and turning to their Vulcan friend for guidance... And you can take it from there really...

I'm so sorry it's so long, I got a bit carried away.

I hope you have a wonderful day!!

Thank you for your time.

❤

hello hello! i adore this request, thanks for submitting it! i hope it’s okay, but i used Spock as the vulcan friend since he’s also close with Bones and it sorta tied into my vision for this story. anywho, i hope you enjoy! :)

Two Peas in a Pod

leonard “bones” mccoy x vulcan!reader, friend!spock x reader

Gender Neutral Pronouns

TW: none

requested by @imaginesfire

Star Trek Masterlist

Being a Vulcan and being part of Star Fleet was not an easy feat. While the organization was diverse, most of the various races were more emotionally expressive. Vulcans, on the other hand, didn’t express or sometimes feel common emotions, which could create a disconnect between them and their peers.

Such was the case for Ensign Y/n; while spending lots of time with other people had helped them get in touch with their inner feelings, while working they tended to be more, well, Vulcan. It didn’t help that Y/n was a newcomer to the starship Enterprise crew. They wanted to do a good job and impress, but while pursuing that goal they failed to make connections with their coworkers.

Y/n feel into a stoic, unshakeable state while working. They didn’t mean to, but they had an unwelcoming resting face, and they only spoke to give or take orders. Most of the crew assumed that the new Ensign was an antisocial grump and stayed away. As Y/n started to settle in and relax, they tried to reach out more, but the damage was already done. Everyone on the ship was already in groups and cliques, and they weren’t ready to welcome a new person.

Their was one exception, however. Lieutenant Spock was a fellow Vulcan, and therefore understood Y/n much better than everyone else. He remembered how awkward and difficult the early days of his time at Star Fleet, and so Spock did his best to be friendly and welcoming to Y/n. Slowly the two Vulcans became fast friends, working together on several projects and hanging out outside of work.

At the start of one day, Y/n received a message asking them to check into the medical bay for a routine physical evaluation. While it wasn’t their idea of fun, duty was duty and so they marched their way down to the medical bay. It was fairly early during the work day, so the only person there was a dark-haired man in a blue uniform. His back was turned to Y/n, and he was hunched over a desk.

Y/n softly knocked on the doorway, and suddenly the man snapped up and whipped around. He took a moment staring at the vulcan before him before the man seemed to come to his senses.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. What can I help you with today?” The man’s voice had a Southern USA, Earth accent but was surprisingly pleasant to hear.

“I am Ensign Y/n, I was asked to come here for a physical exam?”

The man snapped his fingers and started rushing around. “Aha, yes! Come in, have a sit on that there bench, I’ll be right with you. The name is McCoy, by the way, Leonard McCoy. My friends just call me Bones though.”

The corner of Y/n’s mouth turned up in amusement. “Bones?”

“Yeah I know, real creative of them. Alright, so I’m just gonna do a general examination, test, check up, etc etc to make sure you’re not caring any serious intergalactic disease that will kill us all.”

Dr. McCoy said all of this very seriously, but for some reason to Y/n it was hilarious. They let out one of their rare laughs, shocking the doctor quite a bit.

“Well I always knew I was just that funny; Spock never likes my jokes but I’ll crack him one day.”

“Lieutenant Spock and I have different tastes, I’ll give you that.”

“Hm, well I think you probably have the better of the two.”

Bones continued with the examination, and turns out Y/n was not carrying any threatening diseases or illnesses. It wasn’t all for not however, the two seemed to click, and for the first time Y/n felt comfortable and happy. They found themselves sad they had to leave the medical bay and wishing to come back.

From that point forward, Y/n did everything in their power to spend time with the funny named doctor. From random errands to volunteer tests, anything that brought Y/n to the medical bay was done happily. Both they and Bones connected over the fact that they were labeled the local “grumps” of the Enterprise. They never were grumpy together, however, instead finding themselves laughing and smiling more and more.

When McCoy found out that Y/n was eating alone, he pulled them to the area of the canteen where he ate with Spock and Kirk. Kirk’s outgoing spirit helped Y/n come to like him, but really Spock and Bones kept them eating there every day. But it was really nice to finally have some friends.

But then being just friends with the doctor for complicated. Something about Leonard McCoy got Y/n’s vulcan heart fluttering, and they found themselves feeling highly illogical around him. But really, it was the most logical thing in the world. Leo helped Y/n feel like they could be themselves, not just a Vulcan or an Ensign at star fleet, but just Y/n. He made them feel free and he listened to their hopes and dreams and passions. McCoy made Y/n feel loved.

But it was a big leap to take, and one that Y/n was afraid of. Y/n found themselves shutting off again, wrapped up in their own world of worries and thoughts. They were so focused at lunch one day that they barely noticed someone sat across from them.

“Y/n, are you alright?”

With a dazed look they flicked their gaze upwards to see their friend Spock sitting across from them. “Oh yeah, uh, just thinking.”

“It appears to be serious.”

“It’s not, not really, yet…”

Spock pushed aside his food and leaned closer. “I am your friend Y/n. Any assistance I may be able to provide would be my honor to give.”

Y/n took in a deep breath before diving in. “It’s about Leonard McCoy.”

“Ah, you’re recognized your feelings.”

“What? How did you know?”

Spock gave a little chuckle and looked across the room. “Because I saw you acting the same way I did when I realized I loved Uhura.”

Y/n followed his gaze to see the beautiful dark skinned woman he was talking about. She suddenly caught her boyfriend staring at her and gave a little wave.

“You two are so beautiful together, I wish I could have that.”

“It wasn’t always easy, but I. wouldn’t trade any of it for the entire universe. You could have it too Y/n, if you just asked.”

Y/n watched Spock stand up and collect his things as Uhura waved him to come join her. “But what if he doesn’t return my affection?”

Spock looked Y/n in the eyes and smiled. “Do not worry, he will.”

———————————————————————

Walking down to the medical bay reminded Y/n of the first time they had met Leonard, except they were nervous to see him and not nervous for the tests. It was late during the “night” hours of the Enterprise, and Y/n knew their doctor friend was working late. They decided to come talk to him before they lost their nerve.

To their surprise, Leonard was sitting on the floor in the receiving area looking towards the large window that was there. Walking softly so as to not disturb him, Y/n came over and sat down. Quickly McCoy looked at the newcomer, but he smiled when he saw it was Y/n.

“What brings you down here so late?”

“I-I wanted to come see you.”

Leonard’s joking tone faded away and a soft, genuine smile and tone came to him. “Well you came at the right time, we are passing through some of the most beautiful stars in this galaxy.”

Sure enough, bright beautiful clusters of stars were littered throughout the darkness of space. Some were white or blue, and there were even hints of yellow and pink. Some swirled together while others seem to form constellations. Staring at them, Y/n forgot all of their fears and were engrossed by the scene before them.

What they missed however, was that their friend wasn’t looking at the stars at all. Leonard couldn’t stop staring at Y/n, trying to take in every small detail about their face and engraving it in his head. They were so beautiful to him, and he couldn’t deny it any longer. Finally Leonard decided to take a chance.

Y/n felt the man beside them shift and looked to see what he was doing. They trailed their gaze from his face down to his outstretched hand, a sharp gasp coming from them. Leonard had his index and middle finger extended together, tilted in offering to Y/n. Shakily the Vulcan copied the motion and touched the bottoms of their fingers to Leonard’s.

A Vulcan kiss.

Warmth spread from the top of Y/n’s head down to their toes; the man they loved was offering them his heart in their way. If Y/n didn’t adore Leonard McCoy before they certainly did now. In a rush of emotion, Y/n leaned forward and pressed their lips against Leonard’s. He reciprocated the gesture, hands wrapping around their waist to pull them closer. Y/n held Leonard’s face in their hands, feeling every curve and edge of it.

Leonard slowly parted from Y/n, resting his forehead against their’s. Both his and their hands found each other and held them tightly. No words had been spoken, but they didn’t need to. The pairs love, adoration, and affection were palpable, and they simply enjoyed being close together.

Quietly, Y/n turned around and leaned up against Bone’s chest, his arms coming around to hold them close. He rested his chin on the top of their head, and together they watched the stars go by, the promise of their future wrapping around them like a warm blanket.

#star trek #star trek x reader #leonard mccoy #bones #bones mccoy #leonard mccoy x reader #leonard mccoy x you #bones x reader #bones mccoy x reader

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