#sorry i miss my wizard husband...
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Did you know that 1 watermelon is worth 10 rations so you can just eat 4 watermelons for a long rest? (dark urge wester doesn't know how to cook)
#I was entertained finding out watermelon was worth so much#then saw that unpoisoned watermelon post#and my durge tav is going thru the astarion romance struggle hours#sorry i miss my wizard husband...#bg3#baldur's gate 3#tav#astarion#bg3 fanart#fanart#drawing#sketch#doodle#comic#wester amblewood
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Gale doodles (?) / practice pt. 6
Feat. Puppy dog eyes Dekarios
#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#bg3 gale#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 fanart#baldur's gate fanart#that bottom doodle#i just wanted to fill the space#and ended up making my best Gale sorry#gonna keep resting but i just missed drawing the wizard husband
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I am...... getting A Little nostalgic for Stardew Valley........ but I know it is SUCH a commitment like if I get back into that shit I'm blacking out for a month. I Cannot Allow It
#GSJAGSKAHSKSJ#i miss .... my goth stay at home malewife and my goth chickens and being the wizard's pet guy#furious and devastated you get nothing for maxing out the wizard's hearts. bullshit.#i wish you could romance the wizard......... i know there's mods but i play console LMFAO#i also miss emily... peak weird woman. she is SO AWESOEM#emily and sebastian were the ones i was split between marrying and i went seb bc i felt deeply#slotted into being a 'cisguy' and. while playing as male absolutely was integral to my transition actually#like the very start of the game i was fucking ruined. grampa nooo don't die AND you respect my identity as your grandson........ WAH#but like. i just needed something queerer. like who you're with doesn't determine who you are#but. i mean. it's MY self-indulgent male fantasy and i need MORE QUEERNESS. EXPLICITLY.#also was sobbing like.... husband AND husband..... holy shit........ gay marriage IS real and so am i .....#got slightly off topic but the fact that i was split between romancing seb or emily and also was EXTREMELY#EXTREMELY EXTREMELY WANTING TO BE THE WIZARD'S PET APPRENTICE SO SO SOOOO BAF#BAD#AND I DESPERATELY WANTED TO HAVE THE OPTION TO ROMANCE HIM#says. something about me. i think.#also my whole ass shane saga. he's not my type but i do absolutely feel for him. we can be buddies. i wish the best for you.#i am primarily motivated by chickens though i am so sorry. i am A Farmer.#IN. THE LOOSEST DEFINITION OF THE FUCKING WORD BC ALL I WAS INTERESTED IN WAS CHICKENS#I HAD SOME CROPS SEASONSALLY BUT. ALL I EVER WANTED. ALL MY HEART DESIRED. CHICKENS#also men long for the mines. and the skull cavern. i was barely a fucking farmer i was dungeon crawling 80% of it.#ALSO. LINUS. I LOVED LINUS I MADE IT MY MISSION IN LIFE TO BEFRIEND LINUS#and ALSO be his pet guy. more platonic this time but like. local young man looking for older men to imprint on#MY GRAMPA JUST FUCKING DIED. AND I'M TRANGENDER. A BRAND NEW MAN. GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!!!!
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Call me by your name [Fred Weasley x Malfoy!Reader]
Pairing: FredWeasley x Malfoy!Reader
Timeline: OOTP, reader and twins are in their 7th year.
Summary: Malfoy!Reader had been successfully hiding her secret relationship with Fred Weasley for years. What happens when Fred no longer wants to hide? Cue angsty breakup and makeup fic!
Warnings: Mentions of deatheaters, Umbitch, negative commentary of status and wealth. House divide, negative talk of Slytherins. Abusive parents. Sorry Narcissa, I actually like you. Mentions of arranged marriages, swearing, public declarations of love. DA and inquisitorial squad mentions.
Word count: 3.4k
This came from a wonderful request from my dear @kellyxo1, as always thank you so much for your wonderful request, hope this is okay!🖤
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The air in the stuffy old Manor House was unbearably cold and stale, much like the family that resided there. The home of the Malfoy family, much like their surname, was figure of stature and tradition, a paragon of social status that oozed wealth and importance on account of their pure-blood status. Each member of the family had been selected by the sorting hat upon their arrival at Hogwarts to enter into the house of Slytherin, a fact the family was most proud of, another ode to their pure-blood roots and continued beliefs. Every malfoy had followed in the footsteps of the previous generation, marrying into other pure-blood families as to keep the bloodline strong, fraternising with equally powerful families that held the same beliefs, each out to gain and maintain status in the wizarding community.
"He's younger than me!" You shriek, you left arms lifting into the air as you look upon the stiff and unemotional faces of your parents who stand by the edge of your bed, delivering the news.
"Blaise is a fine boy and he shall make a fine husband," your father says, as if he truly believed the words that he was speaking. "He's from a long line of Slytherin's, a good student and a promising young wizard."
"He's a complete twat," you argued, taking a seat on the edge of your bed, completely exasperated by the conversation you were forced to endure with your parents.
"It's only two years difference," your mother says, trying to remain at least diplomatic as your father gave you a thunderous look for your selection of language.
"He's a friend of Draco's! It's archaic and barbaric." You added, trying to express your disgust at the very thought but it was immediately apparent that your parents did not share in your distaste, nor understand it.
"Young lady!" Your father hissed in displeasure, the veins on his head looking fit to burst.
"I just don't understand why I have to marry someone with status," you say, in a calm and somewhat emotionless voice, realising that your emotive reaction was doing no favours here. "I don't understand why I have to be married at all, much less to somewhat that wasn't my choice."
"We want the best for you," your mother adds, her hands clasped in front of her as her gaze flicks between you and your father. It's a blatant lie, a way of manipulating you into following their path but it wouldn't work, not this time.
"Then let me make my own choices," you retort, not meeting their eyes.
"So you can run back to that blood traitor?" Your father all but screams, his temper exploding as he throws his cane, narrowly missing the house elf that was tending to the paintings in the hallway just outside of your door. He storms off in a flurry of black robes, almost growling under his breath as you hear his heavy footsteps marching angrily away.
The mention of Fred makes your stomach roil dangerously, filling you with hatred for your family, for the life you'd been born into. You don’t know how they came to know about your situation, but you detested their use of it against you. The anger dissipates slightly as you watch your mother perch on the side of your bed, hands still folded in her lap as she looks at you with a conflicted expression.
"We just want what's best," your mother repeats but you interject, frustrated by her attempt to keep pushing the matter you were so obviously not open to discussing.
"You had your chance! You chose to marry for money and status," you replied, a harsh tone to your voice that you'd seldom used at your mother.
"I didn't have a choice!" She says, her voice coming out like a hiss as her resolve drops so that you finally see her fraying nerves.
You pause, taking a moment to really see your mother as a young woman that was in your position so many years ago.
"If it's so bad why would you want that for your own daughter?" You ask, trying to appeal to her though your emotional delivery, trying to reach out for that young woman who must have felt exactly how you did right now.
She refuses to meet your eyes, nor answers your question. You realise very quickly that you're getting nowhere and never would. All emotions exit you as you look upon your mother feeling no love or affection, nor receiving any in return.
As you looked upon the vision of your mother and thought of your fathers reaction, you felt an empty void of emotion where love should be. The chasm of happy memories was empty, at least when it came to your family.
Right then you thought of Molly and Arthur, of the whole family and the strong, foundational outpouring of love in which the family was built around. Two people that loved one another deeply, building a life and a family, creating a warm and loving home for their children to thrive in.
They'd be celebrating Christmas right now, with gorgeous homemade food and handmade presents, surrounded by love and laughter and maybe the occasional cross word.
Poor in wealth but rich with love; and you would always chose that over this.
"I refuse to marry Blaise Zabini or any other pure blood suitor you deem acceptable," you say matter of factly, your voice completely void of emotion as you made your point clear. "I'll make my own choices in life. You may not have been strong enough to resist the pressure but I am, I refuse to be forced into a loveless marriage and live out a miserable existence like you."
"You're no daughter of ours," your mother sneers. "No. I'm not."
Later that night, you lay in your dark and dreary bedroom, looking around at the bare, lifeless walls that held no sentiment nor icon of your personality, your life. You thought of Fred and George's bedroom and how cluttered it must be, with all their quidditch memorabilia and Weasley products lying around. They'd have bedspreads that had been knitted for them, fresh sheets that smelt like their home and little trinkets around the room that had been collected throughout their lives. You had none of that, even down to the colourless and scentless sheets on your bed. You thought of Fred often, the boy you loved more than anything in the world. The boy that had seen past your surname and your Slytherin placement and still loved you regardless. He hadn't been prejudiced or hateful, nor had he used you to gain status in the Wizarding community. He simply loved you because he loved you.
Loved.
Memories flashed behind your eyes of happier times, your relationship strengthening over the years until you were completely infatuated with each other, planning your futures in hushed whispers and promising secrets. You could be yourself around Fred, completely unashamed of the things you'd believed for so long to be personal failures and character faults.
You'd been together since your fifth year, unable to deny the attraction any longer. You'd started sneaking around, stolen kisses in the secret passageways, sneaking out after hours, notes slipped into pockets, fingers grazing as you walked past eachother pretending the other didn't exist. You secretly cheered for each and every hit he'd administer on the quidditch pitch, every dive and skilful deflection of the bludger. Though you couldn't cheer or support him outright, you always kept a little something on you in Gryffindor red that you both knew meant that you were there for him.
After a while, you told your small group of friends and Fred told his, including his siblings. There were tensions at first, of course there was, but after seeing how good for each other you were, of how happy you were together, the grievances quickly quietened.
His friends became yours too, a real and honest group of friends that too could rely on, share with and care for in return.
You didn't have to hide anymore, at least not with them. But Slytherins much like their name were mostly all vicious snakes, with sharp tongues and deceitful tendencies. You couldn't let them know, couldn't allow them to spoil the singular good thing you had in your life and so for the most part, your relationship remained hidden to the wider school.
It was exciting at first, rebelling against the restrictive and domineering upbringing you were forced into. You weren't like your parents or Draco, or any members of your family really. You were certainly no deatheater and didn't hold the same disgusting values that they did. Blood trainers, mud bloods, muggleborns or muggles, everyone should have the right to be treated the same, to live their life without fear or prejudice.
Fred knew, he knew you weren't one of them, that you were better, different than your name but also that you couldn't step out of line for fear of the repercussions you'd face. Or at least, you thought he understood.
Your seventh year at Hogwarts, your last. The last hurdle to get through before you could truly be your own person and break away from the chains of being a Malfoy. You had a plan, carefully and slowly formulated for years for the eventual day you'd be your own person and free to make your own choices, leaving your family behind. Your world would gain colour and warmth instead of the cold and monochrome world you felt you loved in. Only, it wouldn't happen now, at least not as you always planned it.
Things had been going so well, you were on track to ace your NEWTS, your relationship with Fred was almost blissful and with everything happening behind the scenes, it kept your parents busy and mostly out of your way. But then it all started to crack when Fred became Fred up of sneaking around, becoming paranoid and suspicious of your true intentions. You'd tried your hardest to squash these intrusive thoughts, to calm his nerves and to show him just exactly how much you wanted him but for so many reasons you couldn't be open about it. He'd face repercussions too, not just you. But he didn't see it that way, said he didn't care, that he just wanted to be able to be in love without having to hide it.
The last nail in the proverbial coffin came when Umbridge turned up and tried imposing her disgusting views upon the students, altering the curriculum and moving in favour of the deatheaters under the guise of ministry control. You'd joined Dumbledore's Army without a scone thought, knowing it was the right thing to do. The only Slytherin who was invited to join, their trust in you appreciated. But then Umbridge had formed the inquisitorial squad and you'd never felt a more painful divide in your life. Your younger brother had proudly joined, sadistically enjoying the power he was bestowed with. The danger of being discovered , found to be a traitor and the consequences of that were almost enough to make you quit the DA, but you persevered with increasingly fraying nerves.
You were stressed, tormented by the divide in your life and the conflicting expectations of you with no outlet to express your frustrations.
So you did what you had to do and fought harder to keep your relationship a secret, to keep the one good thing in your life away from the dementor-like happiness stealing of your family. The Christmas holidays were coming up and your anxiety was peaking at having to spend an extended amount of time away from your boyfriend and friends and have to go back to that dreary manor with your even drearier family. Fred could tell that something was up with you, that you were unhappy, tense and quiet but he never stopped to read between the lines, to see the big picture. Instead, his insecurities began to plague him again until one day you both snapped.
"I just don't understand why we still have to hide!" He says with a frustrated growl, pinching the area between the bridge of his nose and his eyebrows.
"Because I can't be without you!" You say back, voice raising to a dangerous level as you become irritated at having the same conversation over and over again. "If my family find out that's it, they'll force me to stop dating you, lock me away. I'll never be able to leave then."
"So what, I'm just a part of your plan? A stepping stone for you to break away and then as soon as you're free you can throw me away? Thanks for that mate, sorry to using you and all," he mocks, only furthering your anger that you're painfully trying to repress.
"Using you? You think that's what this is? You think you're just a pawn for me, even after two years of loving you?"
"You tell me," he says, eyes dark.
"Unbelievable," you say under your breath, closing your eyes as you take a seat on one of the wooden crates down in the passageway between the staircases and Honeydukes, your regular spot.
"Or are you embarrassed by me, is that it? The poor, scruffy Weasley boy that fell for the rich, beautiful Malfoy. The prophet would have a field day, wonder if they'll make us into a film," he rants, a vicious side appearing in his tone. "The deatheater and the peasant."
"How dare you!" You say, standing up in a fit of rage, squaring up to him like you'd never done before; the insult he'd so readily dished out feeling like a blast to the heart. "I'm no more a death eater than you are you prick! You think I'm embarrassed of you? I think you're ashamed of me, ashamed that you fell for the bad seed, the villain. I think you can't stand that I'm a Malfoy and you know it. My surname bothers you much more than your's bothers me."
"Yeah maybe it does."
Silence. His words are met with sheer silence, except for the pounding of your breaking heart. I'm your worst nightmares you'd never expected those words to fall from his lips, for him to admit the thing you'd been fearing the most since your crush of him started to bloom. You were tainted goods, a person that tried her hardest to be good that would always be haunted and spoiled by her name.
"No, no sweetheart I didn't mean, I don't think that," he began backtracking, realising that he'd gone way too far this time. "It makes me crazy that I can't shout from the bloody roof that you're mine no matter how much I want to. I don't care that you're a... Malfoy," he says, reaching out for you to hold you close, knowing that he was hanging by a thread here.
You're quiet for a moment as you take in his words, unsure of how to proceed.
"Maybe you're right, about it all," you paused. "But if you wanted me to believe all that, you should have said my surname with less disgust."
You turned around walked away, ignoring his calls, barely holding yourself together until you made it back to your dormitory and finally allowing yourself to sob. You should have known you could never be happy, it was ridiculous to think that anyone could ever get past the fact that you were born to be bad.
The week that followed before the holiday was sheer torture. You gathered sympathetic looks front your friends, or rather Fred's friends but were unable to get any actual comfort as you couldn't fraternise with the social enemy.
Fred however, hadn't spared you a single glance since that evening in the tunnel, the fight that had ended your relationship, or so it seemed. He went back to pretending you didn't exist, believing your harsh words all to easily. He'd said things on his side too but you thought, stupidly, that you'd be able to explain that you were simply retaliating. Apparently he wouldn't give you a chance to explain.
"Maybe you're right, about it all."
Those words haunted you, cut you deeper than any splinching ever could. If only you'd pushed down your anger, never said those words, he'd still be yours. But now he wasn't.
Christmas break was miserable, even more so than usual as you sat alone in your bedroom, physically and mentally distanced from any sense of company.
You though of Fred often, wondering what he was up to, wondering if he was happy. You hoped his dad was okay after hearing through the grapevine about his attack. You hoped that even if it was just a little, that he was missing you.
When you got back to school, you were just as miserable and separated from your peers as you were at home. The friendship group you'd built up of good people still have you distanced smiles and sympathetic glances but you felt the distance more than ever. It lasted for a few days before you'd had enough, completely depleted and in need of something good back, you needed Fred. You tried to think of ways to get him alone, to explain but you couldn't think of anything. You sat in the Great Hall, completely separated from your Gryffindor friends and sat between two of the most bearable Slytherins you could find, trying to ignore the boasting and mockery your brother was bestowing a little further up the table.
It makes me crazy that I can't shout from the bloody roof that you're mine no matter how much I want to.
You looked around you, considering your options. It wasn't a rooftop per se, but it would do.
You climbed up on the table, unfazed by the cries of outrage of the people around you as you ascended, trying to be mindful of the plates and glasses on the table. Draco shouts at you to get down, what are you doing, but much like always, you ignore him. The commotion began pulling people's attention towards you but you knew you had to make it quick because the faculty and teachers were starting to notice.
"I have something to say," you said, projecting your voice until you were certain you’d be heard across the hall. “I’ve been hiding something, for so long, something that never should have been hidden in the first place. I was scared and stupid. I’m a Malfoy, a Slytherin… but I’m completely and hopelessly in love with a Gryffindor.” You look up to where Fred is watching you with wide eyes, the first hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. Your eyes quickly flick over to George who is beaming at you, enjoying the demented display you were putting on, encouraging you to continue before you lost your nerve.
“Fred Weasley I’ve loved you since that bloody third year Quidditch match when George hit that bludger at Snape and you winked at me for laughing. You told me that we didn’t have to hide, that you’d shout from the rooftops, well this is the best I could do considering.”
Fred makes his way to you quickly, sensing that the teachers were on their way to inevitably punish you.
“You’re bloody insane woman,” he says with a laugh, unfazed by the entire hall watching you as he holds out his hand for you to come down. You smile at him, so happy to see him smile at you again, to hear his voice.
“Y/n Malfoy! Get down, get down! Detention!”
Instead of helping you down, Fred suddenly seizes your hand and uses you to pull himself up until he was also stood on top of the Slytherin table, cackling at the groans of the other slytherins around you.
“Mr Weasley, detention!”
“More time to spend with you,” he shrugs, smiling as he bends down to kiss you wildly in the middle of the hall as cheers erupt around you, making you both laugh into the kiss.
“It really doesn’t bother you that I’m a Malfoy?” You ask, suddenly bothered by what he’d said before as you pull away slightly. His hand holds your cheek as he smirks, shrugging his shoulders.
“Not gonna be a Malfoy for much longer, I plan on making you a Weasley as soon as possible.”
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Dadstarion prompt (sorry if I missed the boat on this!) - insecure postpartum Tav, struggling with their new body. Maybe some body worship from Astarion 👀? (Personal experience - I really struggled postpartum with adjusting to my new body, it changed in ways I never even imagined). Thank you and just want to say I love your Astarion 🥰
Adore You
Thanks for your request! Not 100% sure this is what you were looking for, but I already had a mostly finished piece I was working on that definitely fits the body-worship and Tav struggling with her body parts of this prompt. It's smut, though, and when the smut gods bless, I cannot deny their gifts.
Glad you love my Astarion! I adore him. And he adores his Tav. ;)
Summary: You are struggling with your post-partum body. Astarion is here to remind you that he still adores you.
This follows my Dadstarion section of my AstarionxReader series. But no worries, you can read it as a OneShot. Here’s the gist: Astarion is mortal and you have three children together. Gale, named after the Wizard of Waterdeep and the twins. That’s about all you need to know! See my other fics for more info and storylines.
Tags/Warnings: smut with a plot, body image issues, angst w/ comfort, PiV, fingering, oral, light overstim, light daddy kink, breast milk, breast milk drinking, all the depravity i'm generally known for tbh, light creampie kinda?
Word Count: 2.8K
A/N: I'm an unhinged degenerate and no I won't apologize. Also women’s bodies are amazing and can produce life and are beautiful and my Astarion appreciates that about his Tav okay?
“Thank the gods for the nanny,” Astarion says with a dramatic sigh as he enters the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind him, “Gale was about to make me read ‘P is for Peacock’ a third time and I was close to ripping my hair out, darling.”
You chuckle softly as your husband greets you from where you’re seated at the vanity with a brief kiss and then moves to the small table in the corner of your bedroom to pour himself a goblet of wine.
“And the twins?” He asks as his eyes watch the red liquid fall into the cup beneath it. He takes a few sips as you speak before setting the cup back down on the table.
“I’ve just fed them not too long ago and now they’re both asleep. Having Winifred to help me get them on the same schedule has been wonderful.” You respond as your husband nods and prepares a second, smaller goblet of wine, which he brings to you.
He settles himself beside you while you finish braiding your hair for bed and hums contentedly, “Perfect.”
Astarion’s hands wrap around your midsection and before you can stop yourself, you feel your body tense under his touch. The silver-haired elf pauses and frowns before retracting his hands, “Do you not want me to touch you, darling? You need only tell me.”
You sigh and shrug as you finish off the half-portioned goblet in one long drink, mostly to avoid your husband’s gaze, “It’s not that, it’s— it’s stupid.”
“Look at me, little love.” He whispers, his fingers coming under your chin as they gently coax you to face him and meet his gaze. He moves forward and presses a soft kiss against your lips before continuing, “I love you. More than anything. You know this. Now, won’t you tell me whatever is the matter so that I can help?”
Your husband waits as you gather your thoughts. It’s complicated, it’s embarrassing. You know it’s silly, and vain, and yet you can’t help yourself. And you aren’t quite sure how to verbalize it all.
“I hate my body.” You finally say, your voice cracking as you speak, and something about finally saying that evil little thought aloud causes tears to spring in your eyes.
Astarion’s mouth falls open in surprise and then he furrows his brows and quickly wraps his arms around your shoulders, not knowing what to say or do apart from physically enveloping you in his love.
You continue on, speaking into his neck, sniffling as a few more tears run down your cheeks, “After Gale, I quickly returned to my previous weight. I hadn’t had any stretch marks. But carrying the twins— it’s different, Astarion. And I was expecting it to an extent but I just— I hate my body and I hate the way I look.”
There is a moment of silence as your husband simply holds you against him, allowing space for your tears. When he speaks, his voice is a soft murmur into your hair, “Not that you should care what I think, but I adore your body, darling. And I love everything about the way you look.”
You scoff and withdraw from your husband with teary, reddened eyes narrowed at him, “You have to say that.”
“I do not have to do anything,” He retorts, arching his eyebrow in a challenge, “Weren’t you the one that taught me that?”
When you don’t respond, Astarion continues on, knowing he’s won. He takes your hand in his, gently lifting it to press a kiss against your knuckle.
“I adore your hands. Which have both slain monsters and soothed our children,” He whispers before trailing kisses up your arm and to your neck where he presses another reverent kiss against those little fang scars.
“I adore your neck, which once provided me with sustenance I hadn’t known in centuries.”
Your face is beginning to grow hot under his devoted attention and compliments, and you move to shrink away from your husband, but he gently grabs you by the waist. He leans into you and brushes his nose at the meeting point between your ear and neck as he inhales the smell of your skin.
“Why are you trying to hide from me, darling?” He asks with a little sulky pout, his chin resting on your shoulder.
“I’m not, I—“ You begin, but Astarion quickly shushes you.
“Then just be quiet and let me adore you, hm?” He asks before running his tongue against those fang marks, making you shiver.
You nod slightly and your husband grins, “Good girl. Now, come here.”
Astarion pats his lap and you slide to sit upon his thighs, forgetting your finished goblet on the floor underneath your vanity stool. He rests his chin upon your shoulder as the two of you gaze in the mirror together.
“Do you remember when I used to do this all the time?” Astarion asks, not truly waiting for a response before his long fingers trace down the side of your neck, brush along your collarbone, and then wander toward your waist, aiming to untie your dressing gown. He moves slowly and watches your expression in the mirror, waiting for you to give him any indication to stop.
But you didn’t want him to stop. Despite your feelings about your body, you still deeply crave your husband’s comforting touch.
The silky fabric slips down your shoulders and pools around your waist, baring you before his adoring eyes. The elf smiles and presses a kiss to the back of your shoulder, still watching the two of you in the mirror.
“Beautiful,” He whispers as he peppers a few kisses up your shoulder and the back of your neck, igniting a trail of goosebumps across your skin.
Astarion slowly drifts his hands up your sides before moving to cup a heavy, milk-stretched tit in each hand. The sensation causes you to wriggle.
His tone is reverent, almost a whisper as he turns his head just slightly and flashes a toothy grin, his lips brushing against your ear as he speaks, “I adore your breasts, which have fed our eldest and now feed our twins.”
He chuckles salaciously before saying the next part, “And which, on more than one delicious occasion, have also fed me.”
Your husband lightly teases circles around your nipples as he finishes the line that he knows will cause you to blush and then gently nips at your ear lobe, earning him a gasp. You feel Astarion’s arousal pressing into your backside as he continues to caress your breasts and uses two fingers from each hand to tease and stimulate your nipples. You arch into his touch and your thighs press together as you feel a growing slickness between your legs from his attentions.
One of your breasts begins to leak milk, and when your husband feels the warm liquid dripping onto his fingers he hums and brings the digits to his lips. You watch in the mirror as Astarion dips the two fingers into his own mouth and licks them clean while continuing to tease your other breast.
It isn’t long before that one begins leaking, too, and your lover chuckles in delight as he watches the liquid gold trail down the bottom of your breast and languidly drip down your stomach.
The elf brings two fingers to slowly swipe up the stream of white liquid. Then he brings those same fingers to your lips, prompting you to open your mouth.
“Good girl,” He purrs before pressing those two digits against your tongue. Astarion lingers for a moment and you shut your eyes as you eagerly wrap your lips around his slender fingers and suck. You hear a little hum by your ear and feel your lover’s cock twitch in delight underneath you as he observes the scene.
“You are a vision, love.” He murmurs, as he slides his hand away from your lips, “Now, let me take care of you the way you deserve.”
The elf gestures for you to stand, causing your robe to completely slide off your body into a pool on the floor, before he quickly spins you and then hoists you onto the vanity desk. The smallest flicker of that arrogant rogue dances across his face as Astarion moves forward to dip his tongue into your mouth. He unhurriedly teases your tongue against his as he roams his hands up and down your torso until you're panting and moaning softly into his mouth.
When he retracts, his pupils are filled with lust. His hands come to quickly pull his shirt over his head and then undo the laces of his trousers. Before long he’s standing in front of you in only his small clothes.
Astarion grabs your hand and guides it to the bulge straining between his legs as he asks, “Do you feel what that divine body of yours does to me, little love?”
“Yes– my love, I want–” You begin as you eagerly try to delve your hand inside your husband’s undergarments, desperate to free his gorgeous cock. But he catches your wrist and stops you with a soft tut and a playful glint in his eyes.
“Soon. But not yet, darling. I haven’t quite finished adoring you yet. And I’ve got the best seat in the house.” He teases, before settling himself back onto the vanity bench and grinning mischievously up at you, “Now, be a good girl and open those beautiful, plush thighs of yours for me, won’t you?”
You oblige, and Astarion takes a moment to admire you, fully barren to him and already soaked with arousal. His arms come under your knees, spreading you wider for him, as he grips your thighs with his hands. Then he turns and begins pressing tender kisses up your thigh. He makes slow work of the task, humming contentedly on his journey toward your sex and always lingering longer in the spots where you’ve developed stretch marks.
By the time his face is right in front of your mound, you’re positively leaking for Astarion and he groans appreciatively at the sight.
“Beautiful. I will never tire of seeing that gorgeous cunt dripping for me, darling,” He murmurs and before you can respond, your husband is delving his tongue between your folds and eagerly feasting upon your juices.
You moan in delight when Astarion brings his tongue to trace around your clit, so familiar with your preferences that it doesn’t take long for him to coax you toward your peak. His tongue dances expertly around the swollen nub, each pass causing your pleasure to build. Two of his long, pale fingers slide into you, meeting no resistance, and he slowly pumps the digits in and out of your walls.
You grasp onto Astarion’s curls and whine when he adds a third finger, and he knows you’re close, so he continues his ministrations and adds more pressure as he curls his fingers just so. His other hand comes up to find your nipple and tease it between his fingers as you climb the final steps toward your climax.
A final flick of Astarion’s tongue, a final stroke of his fingers, and you burst with pleasure, whining in delight as your thighs tremble on either side of his head. Your walls spasm and send another gush of arousal onto the elf’s face. You begin leaking breast milk once again.
“Delicious,” Your husband murmurs as he pulls back slightly to admire the glistening of your sex and then presses forward and takes one more lap of your sensitive folds, causing you to buck into his mouth as he chuckles against you. Astarion languidly runs his tongue up to your stomach, lapping at the thin rivulets of milk running down your torso and covering his face in a shiny layer of your juices and breast milk.
Then he stands to his full height and finally— finally— steps out of his small clothes. His pale cock springs proudly from its confinement, dripping thin strings of pre-come from the reddened tip, just for you.
“Get over here, Astarion,” You eagerly demand, voice hoarse from your cries as you hook your legs around his torso and pull him against you.
“Anything for my little love,” Your husband responds, voice full of gravel as he runs the underside of his cock against your slit, using it to lubricate his length.
And then the head of his cock presses into you and your mouth falls open as Astarion buries himself to the hilt. His thumb comes to lightly tease your still-tender clit as he slowly rocks his hips back and forth. He’s watching your face intently as he thumbs circles around that needy, engorged bundle of nerves.
You use your legs to pull the elf deeper and he grins before lowering his head so that it’s right by your ear. He takes the lobe in his mouth and suckles gently, causing you to whimper.
“You’ll do one more for me, won’t you darling? You always look so gorgeous when you do.” He coaxes, his mouth so close to your ear his breath tickles the sensitive flesh. And then he’s pitching his hips just slightly, aiming to hit your favorite spot with the tip of his cock. He’s gasping and grunting now as his own need for release starts to overpower him.
You’re almost there. You’re keening with each thrust from Astarion and your walls are clenching tighter and tighter around his cock.
He moans in response at the sensation before pressing his thumb harder against your clit and rubbing it with single-minded intensity, working you toward release. You begin to relentlessly whimper again and Astarion smiles, his eyes locked onto yours as he watches your face contort in the feeling of immense pleasure.
“There you go, little love. Let go for daddy.” He whispers, bringing his other hand to palm the ample flesh of your ass.
And gods, you do.
The second orgasm ripples through you harder than the first, and you have to clasp your hand around your mouth to stifle your moan. Your walls are pulsing around your lover’s cock as you ride the wave of ecstasy.
You go almost slack and before long Astarion is ripping your hand away from your face and pressing his lips against yours in a bruising kiss as he begins to rut wildly into you, shaking the vanity with every thrust.
“Gods, the things your body does to me,” He growls as he pulls away from your lips, snapping his hips at a punishing pace as he chases his own release. Astarion’s hand is clutching firmly into your bottom, gripping so tightly there’s sure to be bruising tomorrow. His curls fall in front of his face and his ears begin to turn red as he continues to fuck you into oblivion.
Your husband is trying with every fiber of his being to hold on, to stretch out the delicious sensation of his cock plunging in and out of your walls, but every stroke into your tightness is pushing him further and further towards his peak. He snaps his eyes shut, shaking with the effort it’s taking him to restrain himself, to continue enjoying the feeling of your flesh gripping around his.
You are so thoroughly fucked that you cannot do anything but hold onto your lover and keen underneath him as he continues pounding into you.
“Darling— hells — my love, you’re so tight, I can’t— I’m—“
And then with a sudden, sharp inhale of breath, Astarion is burying his thick length inside your walls and trembling as his cock twitches, relentlessly releasing its spend. He gasps into your ear as he slows his hips, but continues to rut, using his still-hard length to press his seed deeper into you.
His praises come out in an incoherent string as he continues to languidly rock his hips back and forth. You cup his face in your hands as you kiss him, and Astarion smiles into the kiss, finally stilling his hips as his cock softens between you two.
“Come here, little love.” He whispers, hooking his arms underneath you. You intuitively wrap your legs around your husband’s torso and he easily carries you to the bathroom. When he finally places you down, he brushes a few strands of hair from your face and then places a tender kiss on your forehead.
“Now let’s get you cleaned up.” He says, turning to start the tap before tossing a glance over his shoulder and chuckling lightly, “And then I have to fix your braid, dear… I’m sorry to tell you that I ruined it.”
“I think you might have also bruised my ass,” You respond, turning to flash your bottom at Astarion.
He drops down on his knees to examine the curve of your ass, one nimble finger brushing against the blooming blue marks. You let out a little whine in response, the flesh still tender.
Astarion presses his lips onto the bruise and lingers for a moment. Then he pulls away and frowns slightly, eyes glossing across the marks before he looks up at you and says, “I’m sorry, darling.”
“It’s okay,” You respond, glancing back to grin over your shoulder. You see your husband peering up at you, the picture of devotion, “I enjoyed it.”
“Did you, now?” He asks with an amused smirk, his eyebrow cocking in that signature arrogant way of his.
You nod just slightly as he places another kiss against those little bruises. His hands travel up your thighs, brushing against the wetness dripping from your sex and onto your legs. Two fingers tenderly stroke between your drenched slit.
“Hmm, and what do we have here, little love? Is this something else that needs cleaning? Won’t you let me take a look?”
You blush but oblige anyway, leaning forward over the counter and exposing your sex, leaking with Astarion’s seed and your arousal.
He grins and licks a long strip between your folds, causing you to buck slightly and whimper at the stimulation on your still-sensitive cunt.
“Too sensitive? Want me to stop?” He asks gently from behind you, one hand wrapped around your thigh.
“No, keep going.” You urge him, bending forward to further reveal yourself to him, eager to feel his skilled tongue pressed into you once more.
A small groan of appreciation from your husband is all you hear before he delves his tongue back between your legs, working to clean up the mess he made.
The bathtub overflows and spills water onto the floor before he’s done adoring you. At least for tonight.
#astarion fanfic#baulders gate astarion#astarion fic#astarion x reader#astarion x you#astarion x female reader#astarion smut#smut#bg3 smut#romantic smut#soft astarion#soft dom astarion#dadstarion#dadstarion fic#astarion reader insert
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English is not my first language. Bear with me, Grammarly helps, but it doesn't work miracles
Series: Come away, O human child! Part 1:
Secrets hidden in plain sight
Spencer Reid/fem!Reader
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Read part 2 here
Warnings: mention of domestic violence and abusive relationship. Reader is married and has a son.
Summary: Spencer meets the son and wife of one of the police officers they are helping at the moment. There's something strange about them.
You could swear that William had made it his life's mission to turn you gray as soon as possible. You couldn't look away for a second and he'd disappear into the crowd. To make matters worse, you were at the police station to drop off your husband's lunch, which he had forgotten at home. You planned to drop it off and leave as quickly as you could, as the whole atmosphere always made you uncomfortable, but it wasn't as if you felt comfortable anywhere.
You knew he had to be somewhere in there, so you started searching the rooms as quickly as possible, passing the other police officers who were looking at you in confusion and trying not to let despair take over. William was safe in there. It wasn't because Steve's colleagues looked away when you appeared injured that they would do your son any harm.
You just prayed you'd find William before Steve did, or you'd never hear the end of how you didn't take care of his son properly. The son he barely remembered he had, even though they lived in the same house.
"Willy? Willy! Thank God!" you exclaimed, seeing your little 5-year-old son's head from afar and approaching at a fast pace. "Don't ever do that again, William! You've got me worried to death!"
The boy at least had the decency to look embarrassed as he whispered an apology.
"I'm sorry, if I'd known you were his mother I would have taken him to you," a voice said.
That's when you became aware of the presence of a strange man, one you'd never seen in the police station before and who wasn't wearing a uniform. Tense, you stood in front of Willy and looked at him suspiciously. He was tall, with brown curls adorning a face that would have made you blush if you were still at college, but at the moment, he was the suspicious man talking to your son.
"Who are you?"
"Oh, right, I'm sorry," he muttered as he pulled his wallet out of his pocket and showed you his ID. "Agent Dr. Spencer Reid, FBI. We're helping with the case of the missing girls."
Spencer avoided frowning when he saw that even your identity didn't completely reassure you, you still looked as tense as before, even though you were no longer hiding your child behind your body. Being a profiler, he couldn't help but analyze other people, focusing on the way you looked tired, with dark circles under your eyes and your skin pale in an almost unhealthy way, your long-sleeved shirt being too hot. You didn't seem to be attacking him, you seemed to be defending yourself. As if you genuinely believed that Spencer was going to hurt you. It was strange.
"Mom, he's a wizard! It's incredible!" William exclaimed, attracting their attention.
You turned your focus away from Spencer for a moment, giving your son a weak smile as you stroked his hair, even though you didn't know what he was talking about.
"Um..." Spencer began, and you turned to see what he was going to say. "I thought it would be a good idea to distract him with magic tricks, you know? While I couldn't find his parents."
Forcing yourself to relax, you took a deep breath before flashing your most genuine forced smile at the FBI agent.
"Thank you for that. He's so hyper."
"No need to thank me, he was a great stagehand."
The doctor's smile seemed genuine in a way you hadn't seen in a long time and it almost unsettled you. You didn't like that, you couldn't have predicted what would come next. With Steve, you almost always knew what to do. When to send William to his room so he wouldn't see anything that would traumatize him, when to apologize, and when to stay silent. Spencer Reid was a valley of strangeness that you decided you hated.
"There you are! I thought you weren't coming." You heard the grumble of that familiar voice, the heavy footsteps coming closer and closer and you had to remind yourself that he wouldn't do anything in public.
"I was just... a little late."
Spencer knew exactly how to recognize fear when he saw it. It was an instinctive reaction, the immediate shudder when she heard the voice of the policeman approaching the three of them. The man was part of the search team he had been introduced to earlier. No one worth paying much attention to so far.
"Dad." William spoke, much more withdrawn than before, albeit with a small smile on his face.
Reid understood what he was doing; the boy was waiting for an instruction from his mother. He had seen enough tense family dynamics in his life.
When you left, going out with Steve - your husband, probably, the rings matched - her gaze met Spencer's again. What he saw there made any explanation unnecessary.
- Hey, Reid. Come and look at this. - Derek called out.
Distracted by work for the rest of the day, Spencer still couldn't get his gaze off his head. It was empty. Without any kind of hope. Without even the desperation that would at least indicate that you were trying to ask for help.
"Morgan," he said at a random moment in the day, making his friend turn to him, "how often do you think women accept abuse at home because they have children?"
Derek snorted.
"In my experience? All the time."
That made his stomach sink.
In the next chapter: Spencer sees a mark on you. He decides that if no one is going to do anything about it, then he will. If only he can convince you to accept help.
#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid angst#angst#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds
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Spidey it's like you WANT me to collapse to the floor and just sob this isn't okay stop hurting love of my life sirius
it's the tragic beauty anon again I am giving myself a flower because I know I will be back
(seriously though you've got me obsessed w this series it's so good)
❀
omg hihi im so sorry 🤭 (idk if i am actually)
Im so glad you like it! I have so much planned for these two, so I’m happy you’ll stick around for it 🙈🙈 I’ll give you some hurt/comfort to attempt and mend your heart!! ft. dobby
summary - malfoy + slytherin! reader, you heal sirius after a fight with his father, ft. dobby and regulus
warnings - mention of child abuse, regulus helping dobby (I thought it was cute), mention of blood
all I think about now - masterlist
His father has done it again. It had all gone too fast to comprehend. One second Sirius had replied to him, some dumb thing when you thought about it. A mention of dumbledore’s new achievement with the ministry of magic, and suddenly it had Orion Black shouting insults at his eldest son.
Sirius didn’t even mean to reply, but his father had forced an opinion out of him, and suddenly the two of them were arguing over the delicate china plates and crystal glass.
You had to watch, hand firmly resting on your silver fork as Walburga attempted to calm her husband down, ultimately sending fiery words towards her son as if he had been the actual cause of it all.
The mashed potatoes, vegetables and roasted boar your elves had prepared over the watchful eye of your gouvernante and your mother were long forgotten, but you now feared that they would suddenly remember diner and start throwing it at each other.
Great.
It had only been a few hours since the Black’s had been arrived at the Malfoy manor for their yearly stay, and like every year as you attempted to have a welcome diner, the Blacks proved once again they couldn’t stand being in the same room as each other.
Like every year it took Walburga a decent amount of time and strength to get the two of them out of the dining room and out of the way. Like every year your brother mumbled something about Sirius not being good enough for you before retreating with your father to his study, and like every year you sat in the kids drawing room with Regulus (which you begged your mother to redecorate but she refused too, as soon enough ‘you and Lucius will have kids of your own’.). Naturally you were still kids to them, so into the kids drawing room you were trapped until further notice.
The two of you would play wizards chess, until eventually Sirius would join you. He’d melt into your side, and you’d kiss his forehead as he muttered a tired and worn out "who won".
"Regulus."
It was always Regulus.
But this year, things hadn’t happened like usual.
You saw the flash of colors before you heard the screams.
You and Regulus shot up from your seats, and ran out of the room. You followed the sounds, Walburga shouting something before her and her husband disappeared into another corridor.
Only when you reached the entry hall did you see him. Sirius, desperately clutching to his arm, wincing in pain as he was hunched over a chair, Dobby by his side, jumping and squealing incomprehensible words at the sight of you.
"Dobby only wanted to cross to the kitchens miss! Dobby didn’t mean to intrude!"
You watched, confusion written all over your face as you tried to make sense of his words.
And that’s when you realised, Dobby was clutching his arm too; he had been hurt.
"Please, please don’t tell the master," he pleaded as he walked over to you, clutching at your skirt.
"It’s fine, I won’t tell father," your voice was gentle as you snapped out of your daze. "Regulus will take care of your hand," you eyed the boy at your side who looked at you with wide eyes before scurrying off with the young house elf.
"My love," you approached Sirius with careful steps, crouching down to his level and gently placing your hands on his knees. "Let me take care of you."
Sirius wiped his tears away as he tried to straighten his back to meet your gaze.
And that’s when you saw it; the blood trickling down his cheek.
"I don’t what spell he used- he-"
"Shh, it is alright darling," you moved a strand of loose hair away from his forehead. "Can you walk?" He nodded as an answer. "Let’s go upstairs."
So Sirius trailed behind you, your hand tightly holding his as you walked him through the dark corridors of the manor. He was glad you knew this place like the back of your hand, purposefully avoiding the places you knew you would cross yours or his family.
You closed your toilet seat and sat him there, before scavenging for things in your bathroom cabinets.
Bandages, desinfectant potions, anything that could help the bleeding boy in front of you.
"Salazar, I wish we could use magic in these circumstances."
"You could do anything and get away with it, dove. The minister of magic and Dumbledore love you."
"That’s a lie." You rolled your eyes before continuing your scavenging.
A few frustrated huffs later, you finally reached for him with a warm towel.
"This might sting."
"Ow."
"I told you it would sting."
"Like the singer?"
"Pardon?"
"He’s a famous muggle, you wouldn’t know him." You blinked in confusion, watching as Sirius’s grin took his entire face.
"You are really an enigma sometimes, Black."
"You love me for it, my future wife," he squeezed the small of your back where his hand had been resting.
"Surprisingly, I do. Future husband."
You missed the smile on Sirius’s face as you looked at his wound—visibly wincing. It was lodged right between the arcade of his brow and his temple. A little closer and it would have hit his eye-blinding him and leaving a nasty scar.
"That bad?"
"Nothing I cannot fix." You smiled at him, kissing the crown of his head before continuing to clean it and readying the bandages. "How is your shoulder?"
"Thought he dislocated it, feels better now," he hummed as he patted it.
"Do you remember the spell he used?"
"No," he shook his head, biting his lip at the memory. "Felt nasty though… dark. Sounded weird too, like some weird muggle medication or something."
"Muggle medication?" You raised an eyebrow.
"Muggle remedy, like potions for us. They call them with Latin names like spells. They are some really funky ones."
"Right." You chuckled at the sheepish look on his face. "And where did you learn that?"
"James."
"Sirius, James is a pure blood."
He looked at you like a child caught with his hand in the candy jar.
"We sneaked into a muggle university two weeks ago."
"What?" Your eyes went wide. "Sirius-"
"He wanted to know what science was! Lily mentioned it before we left for the summer break. And plus he’s taking muggle studies next year."
"And you followed him?"
"Yes."
You didn’t really know what to reply. You didn’t know if you should be mad, or curious about his finds in the muggle world. The part of you that grew up taught to hate muggles and non pure bloods wanted to scold him, but another part of you genuinely admired the courage Sirius had to defy the world you were born into.
He didn’t care for pure blood manners. He didn’t care to be proper. He didn’t mind muggle borns when you still struggled even speaking to some.
You had made efforts with Lily, and he seemed to be proud of you for it.
But the mere thought of walking through a muggle riddled street made your entire body shiver with something you weren’t familiar with. You didn’t know why. It wasn’t something that came as easy to you as it did to Sirius. It didn’t mean you were totally against the thought of speaking to muggles, but the mere thought of voicing it made fear prickle at your stomach, and the images of Sirius being mistreated, scold, bullied and hurt by his parents flashed before your eyes.
You were terrified of your brother enough as it was, you didn’t need to give him a reason to be mean to you.
A faint knock broke the turmoil of your mind, you turned around to see a familiar set of eyes and the tip of one of his big ears poking out the door.
"You can come in Dobby," you smiled as you watch him wobble through the doorway.
"Dobby wanted to thank Miss," he proudly showed you the bandage around his wrist. "Master Regulus was very kind." He nodded. "Dobby wondered if you needed anything."
"We are good Dobby, thank you."
But the elf shook his head. "Dobby needs to thank Miss, Dobby wants to thank Miss."
You looked at Sirius’s wounds before looking back to the house elf.
"Well, I am not allowed to use magic outside of Hogwarts, and i know you have been taught healing spells as of recently." You bit your lips and Sirius’s lips curled into a smile as he read your mind. "I am sure Mr. Black would be pleased if he did not have to walk around with those ghastly cuts on his face and horrible ache in his shoulder"
Dobby’s eyes seemed to light up as if you had personally given him the holy grail. He bounced closer to Sirius, nodding to you with the biggest smile as he flicked his fingers towards Sirius.
In a flash of warmth and sparks, the bandages you had so carefully placed upon him disappeared, and the cuts were closing by themselves. The only trace left of the night being the faintest scar across his temple.
"Speak of this to no one alright?"
"Promise miss!" And with a flick of his fingers, the elf was gone.
"Well, look at you, all healed and handsome," you grinned as you brought your lips to his.
"I like him. When your parents kick the bucket do you get to inherit Dobby?" Sirius grabbed your hand, guiding you to sit on his lap, peppering your neck with kisses once you did.
"Unfortunately no…" you sighed, relishing in the feeling of his lips on you. "Lucius is heir to… um.. well most things here." You frowned upon the realisation, Sirius stopped to look at you, by the look in his eyes he could tell you had never really given it a proper thought.
You’d never thought of what would happen once you graduated. Once you were officially Mrs. Black and your time at the Malfoy Manor would become a distant memory. He watched you realise that everything you thought you owned was a mere illusion.
"Well, if it’s any reassurance we get to inherit Kreature?" Sirius winced as he mentioned his grumpy house elf who was never really fond of him, and you chuckled at the look on his face. "If that old twat is still alive by the time my parents finally decide to do us all a favour and die, or frankly scratch that, if im still alive by the time we graduate."
"Sirius!"
"What?" He chuckled at the appalled look on your face. "At this rate it will be a miracle I’m alive for our wedding, and don’t you dare say you haven’t thought about using an unforgivable on my father!"
You didn’t reply to his accusation. You’d never dare to voice such a horrible thought the way Sirius did, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t right.
He took the smile you were trying to bite down as an answer and pecked your lips in recognition.
"I’ll always be here to save you, Siri."
"Promis?"
"Promis."
#captain black 🫧#❀ crew member 🫧#marauders 🫧#sirius black#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#sirius black x y/n#sirius black fan fiction#sirius black imagine#marauders fan fiction
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(SPOILER WARNING to people who haven't read your story) I SWEAR to GOD!!!! This is borderline anon-hate with my current state of mind after finishing The Raven and The Snake over this weekend. I finished it in two days. I'm a mess. I've even started making a playlist because I feel like I can't properly enter reality again. I'm supposed to be writing my bachelors thesis right now,,,, what have you done to me!!!!
I loved it so so so much, and I am very mad I cannot have a collectors edition hardback version of it on my shelf. There are many many moments that keep replaying in my head, and scenes that I saw so vividly when reading through it. The first imperio moment and Sebs shadow and imperio-green eyes as Clora was held captive, and the entire scene in the repository and how I was physically shaking as I slowly realised that Seb had made a fucking horcrux, and when it was CONFIRMED the GASP i GUSPED. It was so perfect, and so very Sebastian; because OF COURSE he made a horcrux (lowkey hot, sue me).
And the scene where Clive realised Seb straight up just died for his daughter without knowing he would be back, oh my dear lord.
And the idea of Seb being seen as a 'Ruffian' and that little mamas boi bitch of a Henry thinking his hand-me-down-riches, muggle ass would be preferable to a powerful wizard. I secretly wished they didn't have to keep magic a secret so Henry could have known just how inferior he was. AND SEB APPARATING SO FAR UMPH the skilllll.
I could go on and on and on, and maybe I will some other time in your inbox when I have another mental breakdown.
And now I'm also almost done with the small sequel. Just taking a break to bombard you with this unhinged message of mine. And how you draw Sebastian is so fucking good. It's actually what got me reading in the first place. I see your version as being in a completely separate universe from the game, cause the way you draw him just has that something, and it's not the same anywhere else. It certainly doesn't help my obsession that my own boyfriend has the same features and colour palette as him, now I think I might even use your art as inspo for next time we need wardrobe additions.
I love you and I hate you.
Ps. Of course I added Sarah Smiles to the playlist and also Far too young to Die, and Just One Yesterday. If you've any other songs you think match please let me knowww~~
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BRUHHHHH I ALMOST FEEL NARCISSISTIC FOR POSTING/RESPONDING TO THIS ASK BC ITS JUST PRAISE BUT DAMN THANK YOU SO MUCH😭😭😭😭IM HAPPY YOU LIKED IT SO MUCH!! FORGET WRITING YOUR BACHELORS THESIS, TY FOR WRITING A THESIS ON WHY U LOVED MY FIC SO MUCH AND ALL THE LIL THINGS U ENJOYED BAHAHAHA (love the henry slander) im also glad u like how i draw seb too, and i love how thats what made u start reading it in the first place BAHAH but fr, sometimes i try drawing seb more accurately to his ACTUAL appearance and then im like... Who The Hell is this... and it may sound arrogant since im the artist but my seb is MY seb, yknow...its why i dont like drawing him with other mc's romantically. bc even tho its like, oh look, that's Sebastian Sallow™ from the hit game Hogwarts Legacy™! in my style if i draw him with another MC, its like, NO!!! THATS NOT SEBASTIAN SALLOW™, THATS CLORA'S HUSBAND🤺🤺THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BOI??🤺🤺🤺 LMAOO but rly TY AGAIN💖💖💖 not only for reading but also taking the time to write all this and let me know how much you enjoyed it🥹🥹i (and all writers, really) always love getting stuff like this!! it also brings me back to when i was writing it, especially now that ive been finished with my fic for a few months, listening to u react to all the diff scenes is making me miss it and giving me nostalgia for my own damn fic FRRR😩 also i love that youre making a playlist LMAOO thats how u know the brainrot truly has a hold on you IM SO SORRY🙏🙏 i actually made a seb and clora playlist like last year and its somewhere in my ask tag if you look through that?? but one song that i can recommend off the top of my head (which i almost made their anthem in that OTP chart) is arms tonite by mother mother...whenever i listen to it i cant help but laugh to myself bc its SO perfect for the chap where seb sacrifices himself....YOULL SEE WHEN U LISTEN😇💖
#TY AGAIN!!😭💖🙏#BUT ALSO I PROBS WONT PUBLISH ANYMORE OF THESE TYPES OF ASKS FOR A WHILE JSUT CUZ IT FEELS NARCISSISTIC BAHA#so if u do end up sending more ILL APPRECIATE THEM OFC AND I LOVE GETTING THEM but i probs just wont publish them/reply#unless u do it on ao3 or wattpad in whcih case OFC I WILL REPLY...or in my tumblr dms👀#i still want to wrtie more seb and clora oneshots in the future and someone as freshly brainrotted as u probs has good ideas BAHHAA#GIVE THEM TO MEEEEE#(if you have them ofc)#LMAO OK IM DONE THANK YOU AGAIN ILY💖💖💖#ask
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Cosmere Characters Meet Non-Cosmere Sanderson Characters
As requested by anon. :)
Namely, Sanderson characters from non-Cosmere works I've actually read, aka Skyward and Frugal Wizard.
1. Ryan Chu (Frugal Wizard) and Amaram (Stormlight)
Ryan: What DOES Sanderson have against handsome, highly competent people? Amaram: I don't know. He just hates us. Ryan: Are we too good at our jobs? Amaram: Are we too handsome? Ryan: Too good with the ladies? Amaram: Too effective in battle? Ryan: Is it that we maybe slightly screw over his precious main character while working on something greater? Amaram: He's SUCH an unforgiving author.
2. Jorgen & Spensa (Skyward) and Vin & Elend (Mistborn)
Vin (narrowing her eyes at Jorgen): You look like a man from a highly wealthy, politically influential background who has a strained relationship with his father, especially after you fall in love with a badass, combative woman from the "wrong" side of society who has special powers needed to save the day. Spensa (narrowing her eyes at Vin): And I'm getting the sense that you had to fight really hard for everything in your life but never gave up, and that you didn't like your man initially because he seemed wealthy and stuck up but eventually you realized that he matched your freak pretty exactly. Jorgen: Oh wow, we definitely need to set up a double date! Elend: Did we just become best friends?
3. Cobb (Skyward) and Harmony (Mistborn)
Cobb: ...and it's honestly horrible, constantly loading children into that munitions chamber to be spent into empty shells. Harmony: I know what you mean. Every time I cannot act, I have to call upon Wax to be my gun once again. Cobb: And then they go out... Harmony: And then he goes out... Cobb: And they die! Harmony: And he kills tons of people! Cobb: ... Harmony: ... Cobb: I think you got your metaphor backwards there, friend. Harmony: I think it's you.
4. John (Frugal Wizard) and Painter (Yumi)
John: [holds out his hand for a fist bump] John: Fellow loser protagonist? My man. Painter: I-I'M NOT FIST BUMPING TO THAT
5. Kimmalyn (Skyward) and Adolin (Stormlight)
Adolin: It can be tough to be the most emotionally intelligent person in the cast, huh? Kimmalyn: Tough? I dunno about that! I like being able to help my friends! Adolin: I mean, me too! Adolin: But we're both so friendly and mostly upbeat that I think people sometimes forget we have our own problems. Kimmalyn: Yeah...I missed some shots that haunted me for a long time... Adolin: And I stabbed a guy through the eye in an alley. Kimmalyn: Well, bless your stars!
6. Sefawynn (Frugal Wizard) and Demoux (Mistborn/Stormlight)
Demoux: Off-worlders giving you a hard time? Sefawynn: I'm sorry? Demoux: People from other worlds? Coming to your planet and messing everything up? Sound familiar? Sefawynn: My husband is from another world. Sefawynn: I would not say that he "messed things up." He helped save us. Demoux: [Crumping up a Seventeenth Shard pamphlet in frustration] How great for you.
7. Spensa (Skyward) and Jasnah (Stormlight Archive)
Jasnah: So these "Cytonic" abilities of yours give you access to the "Nowhere." Spensa: That's right. Why? Jasnah: Which is some kind of extra-dimensional space that exists alongside your "normal" space where time is strange and timeless creatures exist? Spensa: The Delvers, yeah. Jasnah: You are basically a sci-fi Eslecaller. Spensa: ... Spensa: A what?
8. M-Bot (Skyward) and Nightblood (Warbreaker/Stormlight)
M-Bot: Hiiii! Nightblood: Hello!!! M-Bot: I can already tell that you're a kindred spirit. Nightblood: Yeah!! M-Bot: Do you want to read my ongoing work "The Greater Argument for Human Origination Chaos" (GAFHOC)? Nightblood: Well I don't think I can read, but you can tell me about? M-Bot: My main thesis is that "humans are weird." Nightblood: ...And evil? M-Bot: No, gotta go with "weird." Weird creatures, humans. Nice. Squishy sometimes. But weird. Nightblood: Mmmm...I think you're missing the "evil" part. Nightblood: I was created to destroy evil, you know! M-Bot: I was created to document mushrooms! Maybe! Nightblood: Does the "M" stand for Mushrooms? M-Bot: Yes! Or possibly "massacre" according to Spensa. Nightblood: Ooooh, I like "massacre." Massacre is cooler than mushrooms! M-Bot: Uh, you haven't seen my very cool mushrooms. Nightblood: Well, let's see them. M-Bot: I love having a friend!
#cosmere#cosmerelists#skyward#frugal wizard#Ryan Chu#Amaram#M-Bot#Nightblood#Spensa#Jorgen#Vin#Elend#Kimmalyn#Adolin#Matthew Cobb#Harmony#Jasnah#Demoux#John West#Painter
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Husband Head Canons—Toji Fushiguro minors DNI +18 content (NSFW)
*✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚
i’ve been having so much fun writing these days! thank you all for the immense support. you push me to keep writing filthy stuff for us all!! hope you enjoy and remember my requests are open. please remember that i have not proof read this, sorry if anything’s misspelled haha. 🩷
content warnings: f!reader, AFAB, established relationship, p ➜v inter course, mentions of nipple/breast play, cream pies, unprotected sex, toji is uncut i dare you to fight me, squirting, public sex, oral (f!receiving), cock warming, sex toys, fingering (f!receiving), biting, markings, sweaty gym sex, clit play, g-spot abuse, this man needs all of the content warnings this world may carry lol & anything else i might have missed
*✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚
★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that loved the way you treated megumi and tsumiki. he always looked up to eating breakfast with all of you, seeing how well you guys got along made him melt every single time.
★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that loves it when you make dinner. he’s a better cook for sure, but whenever he comes from home and he sees you in your zone whipping up some food, wearing your cute custom made apron with your name on it. in his eyes, it’s one of the best sights ever.
★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that loves doing laundry! he hates doing dishes and you hate doing laundry, so it’s a match made in heaven when you love doing dishes and he is a wizard in the laundry room. you’ve never seen anyone be so detailed about laundry detergent and clothes before you got married with him.
★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that is a pro at budgeting and making groceries. you decided to leave it to him the first time you saw his little “budget” binder along with his coupon cabinet and it’s been for the better. you’re still amazed at how $400 worth of groceries ended up costing $120. since then, no one goes grocery shopping but him.
★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that is horridly bad at video games. you laugh-cry every time the kids dare him to play on their games and he looses every single time. he’s a sore looser too, so you have to prepare yourself every time for the little pouting mess he becomes when megumi and tsumiki are “too hard on him”.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚
★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that offers you the best after care you’ve ever seen. after he fucks you senseless and leaves you almost immobile, you see him get up quickly and set up the bath with your favorite bath salts and scents. brings you your favorite hot/cold beverage and gets in the bath with you as he rubs your back, and ends up fucking you again there because he for sure can’t hold himself when you’re a moaning mess.
★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that loves public play. you can’t think about the last time you guys have gone out that he hasn’t asked you to wear a bluetooth vibrator, or when he tries to finger you under the table when you’re eating out. there was this one time the man literally got on his knees under the table at this really niche restaurant just to eat you out. he stood up 5 minutes later with the most shit eating grin, glistening with your cum like he had some expensive lip gloss on. he’s always been one to live for the thrill and being married wasn’t going to stop him.
★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that loves fucking you right after the gym. he loves to see you al sweaty and tired. makes him want to impale you on his cock. so every time you come home from the gym; heck, sometimes in the gym lockers he’ll show you how hot you are to him as he slides his big, uncut shaft into you. marking your tits up as if they’re his trophies as you cry out his name.
★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that is obsessed with your tits. he loves nipple play, biting and sucking on your tits after a long day at work is just what he needs. it extends to him loving it when you play with his too, sucking and biting his nipples is the 100% sure way of sending him off the edge too.
★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that loves cock warming. yes, he’s the king of aftercare. but sometimes both of you are too tired to move after some fun, nasty time. so he’ll just slip inside one more time to feel you around him without him moving. sure is, until you start clenching too much on purpose and he proceeds to fuck you one more time. a cute little ring of creamy fluids and cum decorating the end of his shaft.
and here’s an extra one since we’re all sluts for this man-whore 🩷
★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that absolutely goes insane when you squirt. he makes it his mission to always see that little stream of fluids spurt out of your sweet cunt. he’ll abuse your g-spot, massage your clit until it becomes hot and unbearable just to see his favorite part of it all. when that stream hits him, body or face, he goes wild and just turns completely feral. swearing to always take all of since he sees it as a reward for all of his hard work.
Masterlist
#toji smut#toji#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu toji#toji thirst#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji x y/n#toji drabbles#daddy toji#toji x you#toji zenin#dilf toji#toji scenarios#toji fic#headcanon#jujutsu kaisen 18+#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#husband head canons#smut
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Our Gentle Sins: Part 14
Thank you so so so much to @plasticbabies for making this beautiful header!!!! we finally have a good one!
Dark!Logan Howlett x fem!reader
Series Masterlist : Main Masterlist : Logan Masterlist
Spotify Playlist
Follow @romana-updates and click follow, join my tumblr community or ask to join the tag list to keep up!
Buy Me A Coffee : Kofi : Go Fund Me
Chapter summary: Past. Jean wants Logan back Present. Wade gives the truth.
Warnings: This fic features non con, pregnancy, and themes of religious trauma. I will not be saying everything that happens to warm you, by clicking read more you are prepared for extremely dark themes and that you at 18+. You are responsible for your own media consumption.
EXTRA WARNING: Brief mention of self harm not from reader.
a/n: Almost no dolly this chapter, and i think after this we need a bonus chapter with Jean's POV. Just remember the old saying from Wizards of Waverly Place. Everything is not as it seems.
A/N2: shout out to my friend @miraclesabound for giving the the idea of wade 4th walling lol. Sorry if you havn't read any of my other works, but just know I have a nack that most of my oc's/readers are traumatized, whether in dark fics or not.
3.4k words
Before
He was on his way to see you.
Of course Jean had to get in the way of that. How different would things be if Jean had just minded her own business?
“Off to see 19 Kids and Counting?” Jean nearly cornered him in the hall, her red hair down and she smiled up at him; her lashes were thick. That wasn’t a surprise, she was blessed with beautiful features but they were darker. She was wearing make-up. Still, it was her smile that gave him pause. It was that smile she gave him when she wanted something.
Logan tried to brush past. “Being nasty isn’t a good look on you, gorgeous.”
He sees her facade falter, the confidence she walked in with faded with it. Nonetheless, she followed after him. “That’s why you’ve been ignoring me, isn’t it? For her?”
“You have a husband.”
“Never stopped you before.”
With that, Logan whipped around to face her. He swore he saw her flinch, and hated that he liked it. “What do you want, Jeannie? Don’t you have god's perfect boy scout to peg?”
Still, she settled her face even as he loomed over her. She liked to do this in bed, pretending she had some sort of control. Sometimes Logan would let her have it, putting his healing factor to the test; sometimes he tested her back, saw how much she could take until he saw her at the breaking point, then slowly walked it back. He couldn’t leave any marks on her, however… didn’t stop him from sneaking a hickey in. It was so much more fun than Scott could give her, he knew that.
“I want you.” Jean stated plainly.
Logan scoffed, rolling his eyes but not walking away. “Oh fuck off. What, your boy toy ain’t cutting it in bed?”
Without even hesitating, she shook her head; her red curls brushed her shoulders. “Not nearly. He makes me cum, too. Multiple times but it’s not enough. It’s not like it was with you.”
His ears perked up at that. Jean knew he had a weakness for being praised. Not ready to hand her over the power just yet, he took a step closer. Jean took half a step back. “Tell me the truth.”
Her lip wavered just a bit, and Logan finally saw the hurt in her green eyes. “He doesn’t pay attention to me.”
“And you think I will?”
“You always did before.”
“That was before her.” You, his beautiful doll faced girl. You were the one for him.
“Logan.” Jean grabbed his shirt, pulling him to her. He felt her stiff nipples through their thin shirts and could smell her arousal. No doubt her telepathy sensed he was becoming turned on, even if it wasn’t manifesting in his cock yet. “We were good together. We were. C’mon, you know it. And you miss me. I know you miss me, Logan. She can’t be giving you what I did, if she’s giving you anything at all.”
It had been… a while since Logan got laid. Maybe a week before coming back to the house, Logan fucked a girl in Wade’s shitty pull out. Must’ve done a good enough job because she never complained about the lumps and stains. Other than that, he’s been all eyes on you. And since you wanted to wait… here he was. Waiting.
“That’s none of your damn business.”
But she smirked as she felt his cock grow hard against her belly. “Logan…” She ran her hands up and down his chest. “It could be us again. Just you and me.”
Despite the horniess clouding his brain, he huffed a laugh. “Yeah, you gonna leave Scott?”
“Are you going to leave her?”
No answer. She didn’t seem to need one, and Logan supposed he didn’t either. It’s not like you and him were together, were you? Sure, you and him had practically admitted it to Kurt during the movie… and everyone knew…. But what was the harm? Okay, so he’d let off a little steam with Jean. He’d give her the love she wasn’t getting from Scott. Sure, he let her pull him into a closet nearby, but so what? He’d be a little late meeting you, is all.
Putting her face down on the cold floor, Logan fucked Jean, pounding into her every frustration he’d felt with her, every hurt she’d caused until he felt himself almost there. Then, he’d pull out and make her cum on his fist. Logan did this twice, twice until she was a drooling, sobbing mess on the floor. Knelt on the ground, Logan picked her up by the neck as he stood, his dick still throbbing, ready to cum down her throat… but he liked to tease her a little.
He enjoyed seeing her like this, the powerful telepath and absolute mess. Her make was running down her face, hair a mess, prystine clothing half-torn. But she smiled at him.
“Does your baby doll do it like this?”
That was her first mistake. Logan tightened his fist around her throat, and enjoyed the way her eyes widened just a little. Breath play was nothing new. “No, but my baby doll can give me what you can’t.”
Her brows pinched together. Ah, he struck a nerve. “What, you want to settle down, have a family, live a normal life?” She chuckled, the sound rough and a little gargled as she held the wrist holding her up on her tiptoes as her shoes perched her up enough to breathe. Jean could easily fight back, but she liked this, she liked it rough.
“So what if I do, Jeannie?”
A blink. A breath. “I can be that.”
It was Logan’s turn to laugh now. “Oh yeah, you’re gonna abandon everything here? The students? Scott? Charles?”
She shook her head. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a family Logan.”
Anger bubbled up inside him, and before he crushed her windpipe, Logan threw her to the ground. He stood over her as she coughed for air.
“Girls only like the bad guys for a little fun, huh? They don’t settle down with them?” Logan repeated back what she had told him so many years ago. “ISN’T THAT WHAT YOU SAID?!?”
Still naked, Jean stands her, her eyes determined. “You’re not a bad guy Logan!”
Logan pulls up his jeans, his belt rattling. “Oh fuck off. You’ll never be her.” He turned around, tucking his white tank top into his pants and beginning to buckle again.
“At least I can get pregnant.”
He paused. There were a lot of thoughts in his head right now. Firstly, how did she know Dolly couldn’t get pregnant? Or rather, Dolly and her husband couldn’t have a baby? Secondly… Jean and Scott didn’t have kids, Scott didn’t want any. He always said the school were his kids. Logan slowly turned around, trying to keep her anger at bay, his cock still throbbing in his pants, aching for release. “What do you mean, Jeannie?”
She looked like she regretted it, but there was no turning around now.
“Remember last year, when I left suddenly for a mission? I had an abortion. I found out I was pregnant and took care of it.”
He took in her words, the gears slowly processing the information. “Scott got you pregnant?”
She shook her head.
Another pause. “You aborted my baby?”
“I had an abortion. I didn’t- fuck, it wasn’t a fucking baby, I hadn’t even missed my period yet.”
“You. Aborted. My. Baby.”
“Logan! Listen to me!” Jean reached up to cup his face. “Listen to what I’m saying. We could try again, we could have a family just- just stay with me, Logan. I’ll leave Scott, I’ll leave him for good, it’ll just be you and me.”
There was silence. A long, long wind of silence… he looked down at her, her eyes desperately waiting for an answer. How long had Logan wanted this? How long had he suffered, wishing to be more than Jean’s side piece, seducing her slowly and trying to win her over but night after night she crawled into her husband's bed dripping with Logan’s cum… still, it was Scott’s bed she slept in, not Logan’s.
But there was an anger in him, a fury that he feared he couldn’t control.
“If I stay here a second longer I’ll claw you up enough you won’t be having anyones baby.”
He left her naked and alone in the supply closet.
*
Fucking whore. Dumb fucking slut can’t decide between two fucking dicks so she has to have it both ways. Has to use that fucking slit between her legs to manipulate me, lets her make her cum but doesn’t get me off. What kind of slut cheats on her husband and then gets an abortion to cover it up?
She killed his baby. Stupid fucking selfish cunt, typical woman only thinks for herself and her pussy, no care for anyone else. She’d only cheat on Logan like she did Scott. For years Logan though if he just treated her right, fucked her right she’d leave Scott, but since when do women follow logic? She probably got plenty from Scott, just used that oh poor me face to get Logan to fall into this trap over and over again. That’s all women do, use, use, use.
Then, he found himself at your door. Breathing heavy, his hand brushed over the door handle.
Not you.
You were different.
You were raised to keep sweet and obey. Raised to be the perfect little mommy…
A good girl…
“Logan? Is that you?” he heard your sweet voice from the other side of your doorway.
You’d invited him to your room after class, promising to show him how you made scented candles. It was a sweet gesture, one that required a lot of trust to invite him into your bedroom. Well, bedroom/living area/dining room. Each room functioned as a studio apartment. Still, the only time he’d been in your room before now was when you’d been sick. Other than that, only Remy was in your room and even then it wasn’t for long.
“Come on in, my hands are full.”
It was like he was in a trance as soon as he opened the door.
Logan could always smell when you were on your period or ovulating. He could smell it on anyone in the mansion who went through a cycle. Most of the time he could tune it out. Logan didn’t particularly want to know the inner workings of Ororo or Emma (although it did help predict Emma’s moods), but he CERTAINLY did not want to know with Rogue or the younger girls or students.
But right now, you? You in this closed room, your cunt just dripping and the pheromones just pouring out of you… you were ovulating.
When the door opened, you were just setting down the glasses you’d be making candles with. Your dress was light blue, and you beamed at him as he stood there. You always looked at him like he was something special.
“Hiya Lo!!!” You stand up, your skirt brushing the chair. “Ready to make some candles?”
After
“I gotta say, honey badger, I never thought I’d see the day you were all wifed up like this!” Wade practically skipped into the common room, Logan pouring whiskey into a few glasses.
“Yeah, well, me neither. Thought I’d be under that cunt’s thumb forever.”
Wade, noticeably, side swiped that comment. “Well, I’m just happy to see you happy. Your girl’s a peach!” He said with startling sincerity.
Logan gave a little smile. “Yeah, she is. A good girl, not like Jean, the fucking whore.”
Logan didn’t miss the face Wade made. “Whoa there, Incelimus Prime.” He put his hands on his hips. “ Let’s not forget you were a willing, very willing, if I remember, participant in the said whoring.”
“I’m not having this argument again.”
“Let’s not.” An awkward pause as Wade and Logan took a strong drink from their cups, easing the tension. Logan and Wade had argued about this a few times. Wade didn’t see, he couldn’t fucking get it that Jean was at fault here. And Scott. If Scott had given her what she needed, she wouldn’t be searching for it with him.
Wade started again. “Either way, I’m happy for you. Both of you. I mean I don’t know exactly what her deal is but considering she’s like… that, i’m guessing she’s the traumatized reader sort. This is a Roman fanfiction, after all, and we all know how he writes his readers and OC’s.”
“What the fuck are you-”
“I mean, Leather and Lace alone. Jesus christ, it’s like every chapter of that universe drops another horrific part of Laci lore. What do you MEAN she had a miscarraige! Hasn’t that girl been through enough!?”
“You’ve lost me, Wade. Listen, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“So, with Dolly dressing like a stepford wife and getting you all to pray before meals, I assumed there was a little weird shit happening.”
“Wade…” His tone was a warning, and Wade raised his hands in defense.
“Hey! Like I said, she’s a peach! Just saying, I put the pieces together. Given all that, it’s nice to see her happy. All smiling and pregnant with Winston Jr.”
“That’s not his name.”
“You better treat her right, that’s all I’m saying.”
Wade was teasing, but he had no idea how close he was to the truth, even if he was half-incomprehensible as usual. Logan needed to talk to him. Not that this was his fault, because it’s not. It’s all Jean’s fault as usual.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“You know, things are going suspiciously well for you, actually. Usually halfway through the pregnancy, things are going well and the reader thinks she’s sooooo in love and that she fixed him, and then BOOM!” Wade yells so loud even Logan jumps, eyes wide as he tries to figure out what the fuck he was talking about. “The guy shows that he is STILL insane! I mean, we all remember what happened with Joel and little one.”
“Do we?”
Wade wipes a tear. “RIP Little One. You are missed.”
Logan pinches his brow. “Are you done?”
“Not yet. Roman has a bit he’s trying to get out, and he keeps fucking up the dialouge.”
“Okay?”
“ANYWAY. I don’t need to worry, but that’s what blog is he posting you on, again? RomanaRose or Romana-After-Dark?”
“I thought this person is called Roman?”
“Yes yes gender is all very complicated and new to you, we know, you fucking neanderthal. I’m pulling up his ao3” Knowing better than to continue arguing, Logan just waits for Wade to finish his bit.
Wade’s smile fades a little bit as he looks at his phone, then gives a nervous chuckle. “Well that’s odd. It’s listed under the rape/non con.”
“What?”
He scrolls on. “Does he show Dolly’s past graphically or something?” he peaks up at Logan, looking unconvinced. “You know Roman,”
“I don’t”
“Loves a good tragic backst- oh…” His nervous smile is gone, looking through the first chapter before turning his phone to Logan. “This you?”
*
Logan tried to explain, he really did.
“This is what I wanted to talk to you about!”
Disgust marred Wade’s features, framed in scarred skin and confused eyes. “Did you fucking rape her? What the hell?”
Logan buried his face in his hands. “It wasn’t like that Wade, please, just give me a chance to explain.”
There was silence for a minute as Wade considered the information. Well, Roman was known for poor spelling and not being a reliable narrator, so maybe Logan had an explanation.
“This had better be good.”
Logan’s eyes never left the floor, his elbows popped on his spread legs and hands drooped down. He spoke carefully.
“She- we were… taking it slow. Your right, she had a lot going on… She was married before. Grew up in a cult, married as a teenager. I think she said, uh, 16? Her husband was in his 20’s”
Wade gagged loudly.
“Yeah. Well, he also beat her senseless. Made her miscarry, then blamed her for not being able to have kids.”
“Should you be telling me this? Kinda personal, tbh.”
Logan groaned. “I’m just… I’m trying to paint a picture.”
“It’s painted.”
“Okay. Okay… well, she was in a bad way, ended up here after Charles found her so we were taking it slow… But then Jean.”
“Ahhhhhgg!” Wade surprised him yelling and hitting the table. “Dammit Logan, you can’t blame everything wrong in your life on Jean!”
“But she-”
“I don’t care! You’re a grown ass man!”
Logan stood up, yelling as he beat his chest. “He aborted my baby! She’s a selfish whore and-”
“WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR GIRL?”
How to make him see? Logan calmed himself, his voice pleading for understanding. “She was different. I just… I couldn't wait. I love her so much, Wade, you gotta understand. I needed her to be mine, I needed her to stay…”
Wade scoffed. “So you baby trapped her? I am far from an expert, that’s not fucking love.” His tone was incredulas, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “What in the non con yandere breeding kink is happening here!”
Scrubbing his face with his hands, he tries to explain.
“It’s not like that. I knew we could be happy together… I just needed her to see… I needed her, Wade. Jean told me what she did and I just… fuck Wade I wanted to kill Jean right there, gut her open… trying to get in the way, get inbetween me and my Dolly…” His voice cracked. “I wouldn’t let that happen.”
Something shifted in Wade’s demeanor, and Logan took as an in. “but… you didn’t hurt her, right? Jean? Because last time I checked, this fic was before the phoenix arc, so I don’t think Jeans got healing powers.”
Logan shook his head. “No, no… I just… I went to Dolly and I- we… we consummated our love… and now we have Stevie. We have Stevie because of what I did and I refuse to feel sorry for that.”
“Consummated your love…” Wade muttered, shaking his head. “Why are you telling me this?”
His shoulders dropped. “Because… I might have fucked up.”
“Might have? Buddy, we are way beyond might have. We’re wayyyy beyond fucked up.”
“Not- fuck, not that…”
“There’s more?”
He nodded. This… this was not going to make things better.
“Jean… she… at the party.”
Wade buried his face into his hands. “Just spit it out, brother.”
“She said something… we were having a good time talking and… she called me pussy whipped.”
Wade waited, like he expected something more. “... and?”
“And?” Logan scoffed. “I’ll be dead in the ground before I let a cunt control me again, Wade!”
He opened his mouth to argue, but thought better of it. “And what did you do about that? Because the party seemed like a funky good time for everyone.”
“Dolly and I… might have gotten in a fight after the party.”
“Oh wonderful.”
“And… she might be concussed right now…” Logan couldn’t look Wade in the eye, but heard him whisper.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Logan.”
For the next half hour, Logan tried to explain himself. Wade was a chilling sort of calm, hearing him out. When Wade shuts his mouth, you know it’s bad. The only times Logan remembers that happening is when he’s eating, or Logan was having one of his fits. “Fits” is the only way Logan would describe them, moments where everything with Jean had driven him to such drastic points Wade would be stuck holding him, testing his own strength to keep Logan from hurting himself.
But for this, Wade listened. And for the night, he thought Wade understood him. The mouthy, annoying, weird little fucker strangely understood Logan in a way no one else could. Logan loved Kurt, but Kurt was a pure soul who could never understand the depths of depravity in Logan’s head. Wade was different, Wade was like him. Mercenary, gun for hire, willing to kill and torture and destroy in the name of keeping those he loved safe, just as Logan did. Just as Logan would do for you.
He’d do it all for you, Dolly.
He’d do it all again.
Logan you weird little incel. i hope that side of him is becoming clear, I modled a lot of this logan off incel talking points and incels ive knowl irl. Now, dont take the word incel literally, because onviously logan is far from celibate, he gets pussy as much as he wants, thats not a problem for him. but he still have that 4chan red pill Return of Kings brainrot.
Im interested to see what we think of jean IN THIS SERIES
notjean in comics or movies, this jean specifically.
LMK your thoughts on jean!
I hope you liked the 4th wall break lol. Leather and lace referenced is a non dark triple frontier universe. it has multiple series, but starts with leather and lace about santiago garcia and an OC, laci.
The wrong way is Joel miller x reader, which is nicknamed "little one". That series is uhhhh very dark lol.
asks are always welcome in this universe, as with any!!! thanks so much for reading, your comments and encouragement mean the world to me!
I have a job interview tomorrow so if you're religous, please pray for me <3 it would make a huge different financially to get this job 1. better pay 2. more hours 3. student loan help
thanks so much!
were getting closer to the end, but tbh im not entirely sure how close!
@multiversed-daydreamer @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @del-ightfulling @miraclesabound @hindi-si-ikay @samsamsantos @madamerubrum @shybluebirdninja a @hornystan @rogueinmymind @accountforreading123 @yawnetu @princessanglophile @and-claudia a @new-genesis100 @teaganthemorningstar @oldloganslittleslut @zaggprincess2 @bugsinmyeyez @groundclueless @cosmolight @nonamevenus
#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett#wolverine x reader#fem reader#wolverine smut#logan x reader#logan howlett x you#wade wilson#jean grey
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PLS DO AN ENEMIES TO LOVERS THEO FF
" FIVE DAYS TO FALL IN LOVE "
Enemies to lovers
Theodore Nott x Y/n Hilton
Notes: Heyyy, I'm sorry about this writing, I tried to write something good but I ended up realizing that I have to work more with Enemies to lovers 🤣 I hope you still like what is written a little, I know I can do better with it, but I didn't want to throw away this work, so that's it, my apologies
Summary: A forced marriage is synonymous with hate, but perhaps one of them started falling in love before
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Blood supremacy in the wizarding high society has always been a striking factor in the wizarding world. If you're a Muggle-born, you end up with nothing; some say their fate is to fade into oblivion. Conversely, if you are part of the blood supremacy, you'll have everything you want or whatever your parents desire. Y/n never agreed with her family's obsession, but she never intervened directly and that's why she claims she ended up where she was now. With firm steps, Y/n descended the stairs of her house with crossed arms and a scowl on her face. The low conversation echoed through the hall, and Miss Hilton's gaze went to the maid standing at the bottom of the stairs and a gentle smile was sent her way, which she kindly returned before speaking.— Your parents are waiting for you in the living room...with guests. The elderly woman informed, and Y/n gently patted her left shoulder.
— Thank's , Lydia.
She thanked her before walking towards the French doors leading to the living room where her parents awaited her future - literally, her future.
— Y/n, there you are! Y/n’s mother said, rising from the couch where she was sitting with her husband and two figures of which Y/n knew very well, Theodore Nott and his father.
— You've arrived just in time to meet your husband, dear. Her father said to her, and with a push from Mr. Nott, Theodore stepped forward and grabbed Hilton's hand, placing a kiss on the back of her hand.
— This is Theodore Nott, Y/n...
Y/n’s father said once more, and blood rushed to Y/n's head as she looked at her father with anger.
— I know who he is, father. It’s not like we didn't study at Hogwarts together. Y/n said harshly, and Mr. Nott's face tightened in confusion, as did Theodore's, who was no longer holding her hand. It had been a year since Y/n and Theodore had graduated, and it was no secret that their parents were desperate to maintain the pure-blood lineage. Both hated being there, but Y/n was more openly resentful about the situation.
— Y/n, where are the manners I taught you? Her mother looked horrified, and a sigh of regret escaped Y/n’s lips.
— I'm sorry, Dad. She apologized.
— It's okay, dear, I understand that the wedding nerves are getting to you. Her father said, and a crooked smile appeared on Y/n’s lips as she looked at her Givenchy boots, feeling nothing but anguish inside. Theodore wasn't an ugly man, quite the opposite; her friends drooled over Nott during school, and Y/n couldn't deny that even she found Theodore Nott attractive. But his reputation was terrible, which made everything worse. Y/n wanted to be with someone she truly loved, not just anyone for the sake of status.
— Perhaps you two should walk through the garden to get to know each other again. Mr. Nott suggested for the first time in that conversation, and all Y/n did was nod without looking anyone in the eye. She saw Theodore extend his arm towards her, which she accepted.
When they were far enough from their parents' eyes, Y/n released Theodore's arm and continued walking beside him without much intention of speaking, unlike Theodore, who was already uncomfortable with the fact that she hadn't looked him in the eyes.— Are you blind or something? The voice loaded with an Italian accent made Y/n stop walking and frown. Turning to face him and looking him in the eyes for the first time since the beginning of the interaction.
— Excuse me?
— You didn't look at me for a second, I thought you couldn’t see, but apparently, it was just ignorance... Theodore said bitterly, and Y/n’s face became more irritated.
— Ignorance? For the Gods, Theodore, the ignorance is yours for accepting this ridiculous marriage idea. The young woman said, rolling her eyes and continuing to walk into her garden.
— It’s not like I wanted this, Y/n. He said a little behind her.
— I know they asked if you agreed, Nott….
Y/n retorted without even looking back.
— How would you know?
— Because they always care about the man's opinion! Now answer me, did you at least have a choice? Y/n turned to face Theodore up close, and her face exuded truth, she could see it.
— It was either a Hufflepuff, Eloise Midgen, Pansy... Parkinson or you.
— You had three choices… I found out about this yesterday. Go to hell, Nott. How could I be ignorant?Y/n's voice was never loud, but she didn't need to shout for Theo to feel the venom spraying at him.
— I didn't want this, Y/n.
— Then stay away from me, Theodore.
Inevitably, staying away from each other wasn't easy until after the wedding. Their parents wanted to see physical contact and closeness between the two; it was important for the wedding guests to know they were happy with each other, even if it was a lie.
A year later, it was already common for both of them: no physical touch, no exchanged conversations, kisses only during sex, and that was their life. Theodore worked at his father's company, which after the wedding, was also associated with the Hilton name. Y/n had not been assigned any role like her mother, and she hated sitting where she was, feeling useless and alone. And that's how she felt at the charity party her parents organized. Theodore was with his friends near the pool, her parents were somewhere inside the house already drunk, and she was alone, occasionally looking at her glass of white wine.
She didn't want to look miserable, but she already was.
— Don't you think you should keep your wife company, Theo? Pansy, who was next to Theodore, asked him, glancing outside the friends' circle to where she had decided to sit.
— She's fine! Theo said, still looking at Y/n.
— She looks really bored, Theo. Daphne interjected into the conversation, and from there, all of Nott's friends were in on it.
— She's always like that, it doesn’t matter. Theo shrugged, trying not to give importance to the situation his friends were giving.
— Man, if you look into her eyes, she's miserably bored, where are her friends? Mattheo said, and Theo looked at Y/n once more until Draco's voice called his attention again.
— I'd be miserable too, imagine waking up every day with this guy next to you. — Horror movie.
—Someone can't make the little princess cum, I think. Draco provoked Theodore, who pushed his friend's arm — Shut up, asshole. I'm sure I do twice as much as you do. The group laughed and briefly forgot about the subject, but not Theodore, he kept his eyes on her all night and wondered why she were so alone.
At the end of the night, Theodore drove back to their house, and the strange air in the car bothered Theo. His left hand left the steering wheel and slid up her thigh, revealed by the dress that had ridden up when she sat down. Despite the warmth of his hand against her skin, Y/n’s gaze, much to Theodore's dismay, did not turn to him. She was quiet, quieter than usual.
— No music? He asked, and she shrugged, briefly glancing at him. Y/n might not talk much to him, but Theodore had gotten used to hearing her hum along to songs during the car rides. — Why didn't your friends come today? Theo's sincere doubt reached Y/n, who just kept looking at her ring-laden hands.
— They're very busy. "They're busy because they don't exist," Y/n thought before sighing tiredly.
— Busy on a Friday night? Theodore asked, confused.
— Your friends seem nice. Y/n said, changing the subject.
— Yeah, they are...
The rest of the car ride was silent, so silent that Theo thought the sound of his eyes alternating between the woman beside him and the road could be heard.
When they arrived, both got out of the car and went separate ways. Y/n went up the stairs so fast it was as if she had apparated, disappearing from Theodore's view. When he went upstairs, the bathroom door opened minutes later, and Y/n emerged from the bath with a towel wrapped around her body.
— Sorry, I didn't know you were up here. Y/n apologized, referring to the towel, and Theodore's face contorted.
— Why? This is my room too.
— I know, I meant about the towel, Theodore. You usually don't sleep here so i thought that i would be alone... She said, and Theo felt a pang of guilt fill his chest, looking now at the naked back of the woman as she sighed, realizing he was leaving her alone in bed more times than he wished.
— I thought you wanted space…. He said, and the silence remained between them.
— Yes, a year ago, you're right. Her whisper was so low that Theo almost didn't hear it, but hearing it, he knew something was wrong.
— What do you mean?
— What do you mean? Y/n asked, taking off the towel from her body and putting on her underwear.
— Why did you say that in that tone? I thought you wanted me away from you. Theodore was more harsh with his words, and Y/n shrugged, glancing at him over her shoulder.
— I don't know, Theodore. Y/n shook her head while putting on her pajamas, thinking she had finished the conversation. Theo held her arm and turned her to look at him.
— Talk to me, Y/n.
— I don't know what you want me to say, Theodore. She exploded, and Theodore laughed without humor.
— What is your problem? He asked, and Y/n freed herself from his grip.
— You are my problem, Theodore Nott.
— No, you are your own problem, you can't seem happy. Even my damn friends noticed your miserable face today. You have EVERYTHING. Theo huffed, and the woman in front of him clenched her jaw in anger
— I'm NOT happy, Theodore. I have NOTHING, I don't have good parents, I don't have friends, I don't have love, I constantly feel alone, and I can't seem happy BECAUSE I'M NOT. So don't come at me with this now, you have everything, not me. Y/n said angrily as tears shimmered in her eyes. — And I heard you're cheating on me with your secretary, which made me feel even more useless.
— What? I didn't cheat on you! — Theodore said desperately. — Y/n! I didn't cheat on you! I would never do that! Theo walked up to her, stopping in front of her side of the bed, where she was about to sit down. — Fuck it, who told you that?
— It doesn't matter…
— Dolcezza, I would never do that to you.
He said, placing his hands on her cheeks, wiping the tears that streamed down with his thumbs.
— You hate me, of course you would. She said weakly, so weakly that Theo almost felt his knees give way. He might not show all his love for her, but he had promised to love and protect her above all else, he had made that promise at the altar and to her father when he chose her, and all he was doing was the opposite of that.
— I don't hate you.
— Yes, you do…
— You don't hate me, how could o hate you? Theo whispered, stroking her cheek.
— You hate me because I hate you.
— Then say you hate me.
— I hate you. She murmured without conviction and sniffed afterwards.
— If you hate me so much, why are you crying for me, mia cara? We have to stop this hate game, you are my real wife, bella. Theo whispered and gently joined his lips to hers in a kiss unlike anything they had ever felt.
— That's not what I wanted, Theo. Another sniffle came from her nose when she pulled away from his lips.
— Don't you want me to kiss you? What did you want, Principessa? Please let me get it right with you once. Theo begged and Y/n closed her eyes trying to control her emotions, and so did she and shook her head in rapid movements. — Y/n, talk to me please.
— My whole life, my friends, my clothes, what I'd eat, were all my parents' choices, and the only thing that would really be mine was also chosen by them, Theo. I have nothing and there's no way you can fix it because you became something of theirs, not mine. — silence settled between them and Y/n replaced the smendel with hers, pushing away the tears streaming down her cheek — Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't want to be complaining to you. You should go to sleep.
She said turning her back on the man who stood behind her watching her take the blankets on the bed made and lie down.
— I can be yours! Y/n, I can be yours. — Theodore said it in a way that Y/n had never heard him say before, it was as if he was afraid that she would disappear forever.
— You don't have do this, Theo... And that was something they both didn't understand, he wanted to do that.
As soon as he sees her, Theo walks to the other side, takes off his clothes, leaving only his underwear and lies down next to Y/n. It had been so long since he lay there that he was amazed at the softness and comfort the bed gave him and once again he felt guilty.
— You don't have to sleep here out of pity, Theodore. Y/n said demonstrating less of her vulnerability as she stared at the ceiling.
— I want to be here, Y/n. Can't you see? — Theodore murmured looking at the woman's profile next to him.
— Theodore?
— Yes?
— Are you sure you didn't do anything with your secretary? Y/n asked and Theo took her hand which was above his belly.
— Look at me, please. He asked and so she did
— Do you know why I chose you? I know nothing was fair in all this, but I need you to know why I chose you.
— Why?
— I remember you in the fifth year, in the astronomy class, you were in a corner with two other girls and they wouldn't shut up and I saw you making a wish for shooting star that passed in the sky, I found it genuine and I started watching you and realized that you were beautiful and very interesting, I realized that you were worth it, I realized that I wanted you…— Theo sighed as if it had become a weight on his back — Pansy was never an option because she is my friend and is in love with Draco, my father would never make me marry some girl that I didn't approve of, you are incomparable to the rest and I saw that it was you when you started to hate me when I stepped in front of you and…
— I never really hated you, Theodore…I just realized that it was easier to hate someone who hadn't hated him yet than whoever caused it. Y/n said.
— Let me fix this. Theo asked pulling Y/n for more and eptonde his body.
— I'll give you five days to fall in love with you, Theodore Nott.
— I'll do whatever you want, Y/n Nott. Theo would burn the world if she asked, and now that he knows he doesn't hate him, he'd do anything to make her fall in love with him
#theodore nott angst#harry potter x reader#theodore nott imagine#lorenzo zurzolo#harry potter#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott fluff#theo fluff#theo nott x y/n#theo nott x you
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Hii this is my 3rd time requesting so no need to rush, but if you have time could you do a dad!draco fic? Also I hope you're doing well as always :) Thank you!
Little charm
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Pairing: Draco Malfoy x daughter x female reader
Summary: after the war you and Draco bring some light back into your lives
Word count:458
Warning: mentions of dead parents, insecure reader, and of course pregnancy
Universe: Harry Potter
A/n: sorry for the wait lovely anon. I'm doing good, thank you for asking and I hope your doing the same. Man I miss writing! it's like needing coffee ☕ but anywho here's that fluffy content, hopefully I'll have smutty thoughts soon. Hope you all like it leave kind thoughts in the comments, their appreciated.
All mistakes are mine
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It was an accident really, you're graduation night, the last year of Hogwarts. Draco's father was taken to Azkaban. He and his mother were left with the mansion, him being next in line to take the wealth. Draco and Narcissa were not necessarily loved by other wizards after all they had done, but they were left in peace. You followed your boyfriend to the manor, moving in with him and his mom after your family died fighting in the war.
You were shattered, never fully recovering from seeing loved ones killed in front of you, but Draco held you close when you'd awake in a sweat with heavy breaths just like you did for him. Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months. Draco had matured after everything but he and you hadn't been mature enough to use protection [not that you were against having kids] so you ended up getting pregnant with your daughter: Lavandula Narcissa Malfoy.
You named her Lavandula because you'd think of the field filled with the plant as something easy to rest in, pretty in smell, and calming. [And because lavender was taken by a witch that you didn't want your child in relation to.] Her middle name, after her grandmother because her love for the people she cared for always shined and you loved that about her. Your little girl was surprisingly what you both needed.
She brightened the place, gave it color and healed your broken heart after the loss. She was spoiled rotten by Draco, clearly a daddy's girl as she whined and cried for him. You were glad she got the comfort Draco gave you, protection and love. He'd wake quickly at night rocking her in his arms, Her head against his chest as her eyes fluttered back into her dreams. He'd kiss her and your forehead tucking you both in.
You'd always compliment him on how well he was as a dad since you knew that was something he strived to be and he never failed even as she grew older running through the house. He'd twirl her like a princess in a fairy tale, buy her things fit for a queen and read her to sleep till she'd sigh in peace. You almost cried watching your husband care for her.
He even made time to care for you the same, hovering over your shoulder in the mirror when you'd doubted yourself since you had new changes to your body after your daughter.
He'd smile gently, eyes sparkling like the day he saw you, kiss your neck, hands around your waist as he told you how beautiful you were. So all in all Draco Malfoy was an amazing father.
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Draco lovers and requests
@alexxavicry, @sarahthehuffpuff, @supercoffeeblogs, @thatwattpadobsessed, @amyclare04, @kyracanwrite, @animeloverfreak310, @imafangirl22, @phildunphyisadilf, @jac1ndaa, @lovelycassy
#draco malfoy#draco malfoy fanfiction#draco fanfiction#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy imagine#draco x you#draco malfoy fluff#draco x reader#draco imagine#malfoy#draco fluff#draco malfoy smut#draco angst#draco fic
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Seriously, now!?
Astarion x Named!Tav
Plot: (Set in late act 1 early act 2) After causing a scene, embarrassing and being shouted at by their own resident wizard, Winnie storms off alone to sulk. Her monthly bleeding is upon her and is making everything seem so much worse! But perhaps her vampiric lover can make it all better?
Warnings/content: Period comfort fic (because I needed it), emotional MC, soft Astarion, Galeshaming (I'm sorry for constantly bullying Gale), Winnie is honestly being a bit petty, but Astarion doesn't care really, he's on her side anyway, angst, fluff, comfort, a wee bit of smut at the end, oral (female receiving), MDNI, possibly ooc moments, possible grammar/ spelling mistakes.
After finding only disappointment and danger from their failure at the githyanki creché, Winnie and her merry band of weirdos were now turning towards the mountain path that would lead them onward to Moonrise. They'd run into a little confrontation on the way, had to fight some undead baddies and then met face to face with the famed 'Elminster.' Winnie had no idea who he was, nor did she really care. All she was concerned with was that this guy came into her camp ate all HER cheese and then told her friend his ex wanted him to go kill himself. Needless to say the young druid was not that impressed. Despite dreaming of being a wizard as a child, Winnie had never heard of this man before. The village she was born in had been pretty cut off from the rest of the world so all the stories of heroes from all over were never told to the children living there.
"I can't believe you! Picking a fight with an old man." Gale exclaimed looking over at Winnie with disapproval.
"Last I thought you said the old man was the strongest wizard in the world." Winnie tilted her head in confusion.
"That's no excuse to get into a fist fight with him! Didn't your parents teach you to respect your elders?!" Gale shouted.
"My Gran taught me to kick ass if someone takes what is mine. Especially my food." Winnie huffed and crossed her arms. Granted Archdruid Winnifred the first was known for being a crazy old crone with a fiery temper and some outdated views. She also seemed much too calm when her husband apparently died in an owlbear attack.
Ah, but Winnie still missed her.
"Oh come on wizard, Winnie's little show was absolutely hilarious! Ahaha!" Astarion giggled. The elven vampire had been watching the chaotic scene unfold with a shit eating grin the entire time. The fact that the druid used none of her powers or weapons just made it all the better. Hells she even bit the old man.
"Hilarious!? She attacked one of the greatest wizards this world has ever known over cheese!!! A child has more restraint for gods' sake!"
"Oh, suck my dick!" Winnie snarled, quite literally making a wolfish growl at the bearded man before stomping off. Gale rubbed his temples before slumping off to his own tent.
"Winnie is rather eccentric at the best of times, but usually not this vicious." Shadowheart piped up, stepping over to join the vampire spawn.
"She has a temper, but I agree she's been acting more irritable than usual. You wouldn't know anything about this would you fangs?" Karlach asked looking over at Astarion.
"Must you assume whenever something goes wrong it's my fault?" Astarion crossed his arms.
"No one is accusing you of anything yet, but you have practically been glued to Winnie's backside as of late." Shadowheart raised an eyebrow.
"Just wanted to know if you knew if there was something going on." The tiefling female added. Astarion rolled his eyes before looking over in the direction of where Winnie had wandered off.
"Oh there is something going on, not that I'm the type to gossip about a woman's personal matters." Astarion ran a hand through his ivory curls.
"Fangs, we all know that's complete bullshit." Karlach looked at him with an unamused expression.
"Well, not about this! It's different. Even I have limits you know." Astarion murmured. He was well aware of Winnie's predicament, and if he had been completely honest he definitely would have gossiped about this sort of thing if it had been anyone else. "But perhaps I can go and calm our feisty little wolf down." The high elf suggested, hoping to keep the others from asking any more questions.
"Alright I'll go try to console Gale I think he's screaming into his pillow again...." Karlach mentioned before her and Shadowheart walked off.
Astarion looked over to where Winnie had wandered up, finding her curled up on her bed-roll under some trees. Winnie whimpered and groaned, clutching her lower stomach in pain.
"In a spot of bother are we?" Astarion looked down at her.
"Leave me alone Astarion!" Winnie snapped before covering herself in her blankets.
"Oh come on, don't be like that. I'm only here to help." Astarion sat down on the bed-roll next to her. "I know you're still mad that the mean wizard yelled at you, but if you want I can go and break his legs? Would that make you happy, dear?" Astarion practically cooed, a small smile formed on his lips as he ran a hand over her back.
"Maybe...." Winnie mumbled and glanced up at him. Astarion smirked, "I thought so." He gently caressed her head.
"I'm.....Sorry....I...I haven't been myself lately...." Winnie confessed before wincing again in pain.
"I know. I can smell the blood..." Astarion said calmly. Winnie turned bright red before hiding her face in her pillow.
"This is so embarrassing!" Winnie whimpered into her pillow. Astarion sighed before laying beside her.
"Well if it's any consolation...You smell absolutely delicious." He grinned looking over her before receiving a light smack on the chest.
"Don't be gross!" Winnie huffed, and then looked up at Astarion who was just staring at her. "I don't want to think about anything.... going on down there....right now... It's too uncomfortable..." She mumbled, before burying her head back into her pillow. Astarion frowned. Comfort was really not his thing. Whenever Winnie was feeling down, usually due to insecurities about her appearance he'd just bed her, compliment her and she'd be happy, but this was different. If she didn't want to be touched he was a little bit at a loss of what to do. Still, these gods damned feelings urged him to try something. Despite his best efforts to avoid it, he was growing attached to her.
"Come back to my tent darling." Astarion whispered as he pushed some of the druid's messy hair behind her ear.
"Astarion I just told you-"
"Not for that. I promise, just let me take care of you." Astarion sat up, looking down at the human female with a softening gaze. Winnie turned towards him and sighed.
"Fine..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Winnie followed Astarion back to his tent with her things, she waited a moment for him to go inside and to take care of a few things before entering and setting her stuff down. She placed her bedroll and blankets down before noticing him placing pillows down around her stuff. She stared at him, curiously. Was this all some kind of plot? She wasn't so sure why he seemed to care this much. Astarion would usually mock someone else's pain. Sure the two of them had been sleeping together, but Astarion was quick to return to his usual apathetic self once out of the bedroom so to speak. Mocking any acts of heroism she did.
"Wait here I'll be back." Astarion ruffled her hair with a soft smile. Winnie laid there on the bedding, nuzzled her face into one of the cushy pillows Astarion had set out for her.
He'll probably just want to feed on me later.... That's it.
Winnie reached into her pack and took out a small worn out green dragon plush holding it to her chest for comfort as she curled up.
The others probably made him go after me because I was acting like a lunatic.....They all probably hate me now....
Tears began form in the corners of her eyes as she slid there. Winnie laid her head on one of the pillows before taking in the nice earthy scent of bergamot and rosemary. Her heart ached as she thought about the elf. The druid knew in her heart that it was meaningless, that he was just using her for his own gain, but she just smiled and went along with it, wanting to stay lost in him for as long as she could. With Astarion she felt something no one had ever given her before. She felt wanted. Even if it was all just a beautiful lie.
Winnie huffed, squeezing her eyes shut as tears forced their way out and began to drip down her cheeks.
She could see it happening almost vividly how he'd approach her eventually after everything at Moonrise was settled and done with.
"What were you expecting, some fairytale prince?" He'd laugh at her naivety and shake his head when began to tear up. "This is what I do. I give you a moment of escape with a world endingly beautiful vampire and you satisfy my needs. Cheer up. There's really no one better you could have spent your first time with. Especially with how homely you are."
Winnie sobbed quietly into the pillow. Her mind running wild with self loathing thoughts, imagining several different ways Astarion would break it off with her. Eventually after a while the tent flap opened and she felt a breeze brush over her cheek though she refused to look over. Astarion slipped in, carrying a well stuffed sack over his shoulder. His crimson eyes gazed over Winnie's plump curvaceous form as he sat down beside her on the bed-roll. Astarion set down the sack near the entrance of the tent before looking over Winnie further.
"Darling, I'm back." He said softly before noticing the little stuffed dragon in her arms. "What's this? Really dear a stuffed animal? You're twenty three years-" Astarion stopped his snarky comment as he noticed Winnie's red puffy eyes, her nose sniffling.
"Winnie....Did Gale come by while I was gone? Did he say something to you?" Astarion clenched his fist, about ready to go and shove the wizard inside his own bag of holding.
"No.... Nothing happened..." Winnie muttered. Astarion sighed in relief before looking back at the sack he brought with him. He opened it, taking out some wine and setting it down near the bedding.
"Then why have you been crying, my sweet?" Astarion asked, a worried frown formed over his face. "Was it something I said?"
Winnie huffed and looked back at him.
"No...I'm.......I'm just overwhelmed... Everyone depends on me and now I've gone and made myself look like a fool." Winnie said, half lying and half telling the truth. "And my bleeding isn't making it any better."
Astarion then proceeded to hand the bottle of wine to her. "Perhaps this will help your mood." Winnie looked over the bottle before drinking some. The flavor was sweet with a faint hint of bitterness masked by blackberries. She set it down before noticing Astarion fiddling with the sack again.
"I may have found a rather generous merchant nearby." The pale elf added as he took out a wooden plate with a wedge of cheese and a chicken leg on it. Winnie practically drooled at the sight before shaking her head and thinking.
"Generous? Astarion, what did you do to him?" The druid crossed her arms.
"Nothing! I assure you, he is still very much alive. I didn't hurt him....Much..." Astarion said muttering out the last part with a smirk as he thought back to how he left the merchant tied to a tree after robbing him. Winnie sighed before suddenly grabbing hold of the cheese and taking a bite. Her face almost instantly relaxed into a smile as she savored the taste biting into the chicken next. Astarion watched her contently as he made himself comfortable on the bed-roll beside her. She finished the food before setting the plate to the side and relaxing.
"Thank you. I think I feel a bit better now." Winnie murmured before looking back at Astarion.
"Happy to help, although I do expect to be paid back in full for my trouble." Astarion smiled, lips forming an awkward looking grinch like grin.
"Oh....Um... Would this work?" She pulled down her shirt, exposing her neck and shoulder to him.
"A kiss will do for now." He said, moving her hand away from her neck. Winnie blushed darkly before nodding. The brunette haired female leaned in with her lips puckered before pressing them to his sweetly. Her kiss was chaste and innocent as in lingered upon his lips. He cupped her face, returning it before pulling back and pecking her forehead.
"Ahh!" Winnie grunted in pain as Astarion pulled away, hand moving down clutch her abdomen.
"Fucking hells, why does my body hate me!" She cursed.
"Probably getting back at you for not letting me inside." Astarion joked before moving closer to her. He moved a hand over her stomach. "May I? I won't do anything perverse. I promise."
Winnie bit her lip for a moment before nodding. Astarion slid his hand under her shirt and began to rub soothing gentle circles around her lower stomach. Winnie sighed in relief, before leaning against him. Astarion smiled and laid his head on her shoulder, continuing his motions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day Gale looked around searching for one of his wizard tomes he'd forgotten he lent to Winnie just a few days prior. The wizard groaned at the prospect of possibly invoking the moody druid's wrath once more, but that was indeed a very important book! Quickly he made his way over to where he remembered Winnie had set up camp before eventually being met with an empty space.
He turned and retraced his steps before looking over to Astarion's crimson red tent with curiosity.
The wizard stepped over towards the shelter cautiously until the faint sound of soft feminine whimpers hit his ears. Inside the tent Winnie laid back against the bed-roll, pillow pulled over her bright red face as she moaned into it. All the while Astarion had his head buried between her legs, one of her thick thighs slung over his shoulder as he feasted on her.
"Uh....Winnie....D-Do you still have that tome I lent you?" The wizard stammered out, face turning bright red.
Astarion's brows knit together in annoyance before he pulled his tongue out of the druid's cunt.
"She's currently quite occupied, Gale. Now do piss off!" The vampire hissed out before returning to ravishing the human female. Winnie herself wasn't able to form any coherent sentences while the pale elf had her in his clutches, but eventually later on she returned Gale's book to him and eventually apologized for the scene she caused yesterday.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Note from TheChaoticDruid: Hope you enjoyed! I admit this is a completely self indulgent fic that was kinda a spur of the moment thing. I've seen a lot of period comfort fics that more so focus on the pain and mess than the emotional aspects of it so I wanted to put a bit of focus on that, cause honestly when it happens to me I have a tendency to be rather mean. Of course this is a little exaggerated for laughs in the beginning, but sometimes when it happens you feel like everyone is out to get ya and you wanna tear people's heads off over the littlest of things. I was a little afraid I might have made Astarion a little too soft, but given it's close to his act 2 confession I think it can maybe work.
~Druid
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#astarion ancunin#astarion bg3#astarion x tav#astarion my beloved#bg3 tav#astarion x reader#astarion romance#astarion#astarion angst#astarion fluff#astarion smut#slight smut#period fic#comfort fic#astarion x named tav#named tav#astarion x chubby tav#astarion x chubby reader#chubby tav#gale dekarios#shadowheart#karlach cliffgate#bg3 x tav#bg3 x reader#astarion x oc#bg3 x oc
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Hamuel Burger and the American Dream episode 4 trancript
Episode title: Indeterminance Night and the Mercurial Vision (audiobook part one)
Patty: How about this?
Indie: So you're wearing a minecraft hoodie. Puke green cargo shorts. A tamagotchi necklace permanently stuck on the death screen. And on your head is a baseball cap with the text "the only thing I love more than chess is being an aunt".
Patty: It's funny cause I'm not an aunt!
Indie: I love it, I really do, but I'm just worried the Australian Prime Minister will see your outfit and not be able to avoid falling in love at first sight. That's how the Trojan war started! Another Trojan War would ruin my vacation!
Patty: You don't have to worry about that. I would never let a horse inside my home. In fact, I'm very afraid of horses. They have this permanently disappointed expression that always reminds me of my mother. Have you ever noticed that?
Indie: Fair. You know we didn't have to go to a thrift store to get you clothes, right? You are currently one of the richest women in America.
Patty: Which is exactly why we had to go to that thrift store! Look at all the bargains I got. Here's a mug that says "I Heart Root Canals!" Here's Glee: The Board Game! Here's a sock I lost back in 2014! I needed to buy all of this for my emotional wellbeing.
Wait, you're not mad, right? I know you weren't exactly your husband's biggest fan, but I get it if you don't want me spending his money on- have I shown you this one? It's a toaster that prints Hello Kitty on your breakfast! Yeah. Sorry. I'll ask if they have a return policy.
Indie: Actually, I think we can salvage this. Just put one of my blazers on over your hoodie and we can call it business casual. If anyone asks what business you're trying to be casual about, run.
Patty: Not the blazer! I don't want to look like Hillary Clinton.
Indie: Oh, honey. Hillary Clinton wouldn't be caught dead in those shoes. Now get out of here! Scram! Pokemon Go to the golf course! I love you.
Patty: What?
Indie: What? That was an exceedingly normal thing for the first lady to say to her wife. In fact, it would be highly suspicious if you didn't say it back.
Patty: Oh. Um. I love you too!
Indie: Oh, you love me? Embarrassing. I'm going to hold a press conference to tell everyone, and they're all going to point and laugh.
Patty: Ugh.
Ah, wait. Just one thing before I go. So I had this stack of letters… I usually keep them with me, but I can't find them. I'm really worried they were in that bag we threw out. If you have time to look through our stuff to see if they're there, that would be nice. They're really important to me.
Indie: Okay, love you, bye!
Patty: Nice try. If you find those letters, maybe I'll say it back!
[door closing]
(quieter, to herself)
Oh my god. Was that smooth? That felt smooth. Haha! I am a romance wizard!
Judith the Butler: Is Mrs. The President ready for her private jet to the golf course?
Patty: Ah! Judith! You scared me. Have you been here the whole time?
Judith (over creepy sfx): I have been here since before the world began and I shall remain here long after it ends, sweeping up the ashes in preparation for the next species of sentient life to find themselves in need of a butler. I see all and I know all, but what I see is none of my concern and what I know is none of yours. Does Mrs. The President have any further questions?
Patty: Many!
Judith the Butler: Good. Allow me to escort you to your ride.
[scene change signified by music change to Mysterious Jazz]
Indie: Indeterminance Night and the Mercurial Vision, book the first. Based on a true story. Dedicated to Dr. Medulla O'Blongata, who said my work was derivative. Look at me now, bitch! Please call me if you read this. I miss us.
Chapter the first.
Sitting alone on her bed, Space Baroness Indeterminance Night found herself conveniently reflecting on the events that had brought her up to this point. She had been but the Baron's lowly wife before a dashing assassin burst into their bedchambers and vanquished him with a laser sword.
"Oh my," Indeterminance said, for she was wearing only her bedtime spacesuit, which was lacy and diaphanous but in a sort of futuristic way.
That was when the assassin had removed their helmet to reveal a torrent of violet hair. The most beautiful woman Indeterminance had ever seen was standing in her bedroom, and she made a mental note to introduce her to a better brand of conditioner.
"My lady," said the assassin, dropping to one knee and taking Indeterminance's hand in her own. Indeterminance couldn't help but notice her sultry Space Australian accent. "My lady, I have come to save you from this wretched fate, for tales of your intellect and beauty have spread throughout the galaxy, and I knew I could not rest until I had you for my own."
"Aha!" Said Indeterminance. "Wait until the groupchat hears about this! They all said I needed to lower my standards because I would never find a hot butch space knight. Fools, the lot of them, and lacking in whimsy, too!"
"I must leave you now," said the assassin, her wide brown orbs clouded by sorrow, "for I have to fight off the guards. Would you do me the great favour of disposing of the body?."
"Anything!" gasped Indeterminance. "But what is your name, beautiful stranger? Will I ever see you again?"
"My name is Petroleum Hotdog. I have hidden seven letters around the space palace. If you collect them all, you shall find within the secret code by which to summon me. Until then, farewell, my love!"
"Like Slenderman!"
"This story is set on planet Mercury. I don't know who that is."
Then Petroleum vanished in a gust of violet petals, and Indeterminance was left holding only her right glove, still warm. She shook her head, dispelling any thoughts that might distract her from her mission, and slung the baron's corpse over her shoulder. Her biceps were large and hauntingly beautiful. She scuttled through the space palace, careful not to knock over any of the baron's space vases in which he kept clippings of rare space plants like dandelions and spinach. Under the sounds of fighting outside, she was able to make her way to the doors of the kitchen. They were wooden, a reminder of the planet humans had fled from long ago, and though Indeterminance had never seen a tree in person, the sight of them filled her with nostalgia. She pushed the doors gently, and-
Judith: Mrs. First Lady. What are you doing in the hotel kitchen, if I may ask?
Indie: Uhm.
(back into reading mode)
The space butler! There was no way she could tell them her secret plan to put the Baron's corpse in a blender and feed him to her pet asteroid, Cousin Rockmorton. They would never understand!
Judith: A blender, you say.
Indie: No! I just got lost looking for the hotel pool. Can you point me to it? And let the staff know that the first lady is in there and wishes to remain undisturbed.
Judith: Of course, ma'am.
Indie: Phew!
(back to reading mode)
Her plan having worked effortlessly, Indeterminance set forth for the space palace gardens, which were mostly full of rocks. Space fact: space has a lot of rocks in it. At the centre of the garden was a crater filled with clear blue water, a man made pool heated and dyed to mimic a geothermal spring. She dipped a finger in and tasted it. Chlorine and food colouring. This pool was the crown jewel of the garden, for though it was neither large nor deep, being able to afford decorative water on Mercury was a powerful status symbol. She positioned the baron's body at its side, ready to push him in. Surely he had just been staring at his reflection in the water when he lost his balance and fell.
Judith: I've brought refreshments for you and your companion, ma'am. I do hope I'm not intruding.
Indie: Gah!
[splash]
My… Companion?
Judith: Yes, your gentleman friend. I can't quite make out his face under the… Is his skin rotting?
Indie: None of my friends are gentlemen, Judith! You know very well that I only associate with harlots and scoundrels. This is just my inflatable liferaft, and it has a skin condition that it's extremely sensitive about.
Judith: My apologies. I shall sit here and perform lifeguard duty as per section 46 of the Good Butler's Guide to Butlering Goodly, Swimsuit Edition. Look, it even has a centrefold containing a diagram of the proper technique by which to build a construction code appropriate sandcastle. In full colour! How very salacious.
Indie: You know, Judith, I suddenly feel rather too cold to swim. I may retire indoors. Is there a fireplace in this hotel at all? Do you think it may need topping up? I have acquired a rare and beautiful piece of kindling that looks like a dead man and smells like a dead man, but has been certified by several coroners to be a log. No need to look too closely.
Judith: There is a fireplace in the dining room, ma'am, however-
Indie: Say no more! I'm off!
(back to reading mode)
So there she was, Space Baroness Indeterminance Night, stalking through the palace like the mighty tigers of yore. Rather than an antelope, her prey was that most elusive beast: the fireplace!
Writing fact: there are no tigers in space, but I couldn't think of another simile.
Space fact: Well, actually, space is famously very large, so there could totally be space tigers out there somewhere, chilling. You're just not cool enough to be invited to their parties.
Indie fact: Now I'm thinking about all the space tiger parties I haven't been invited to, and it's making me sad.
(out of reading mode)
Oh, there's the fireplace!
(into reading mode)
She approached it trepidatiously, for it could attack at any moment, but all it did was hum quietly and loop the same gif of the platonic ideal of a fire. Gently, as she was a little sorry despite herself, Indeterminance placed the body down and turned her face away. However, instead of the scent of burning flesh reaching her nose, there was only
(out of reading mode)
- is that seaweed?
Judith: 'tis merely my cologne, ma'am. It's supposed to be elegant and sensual, yet dangerous and masculine.
Indie: You smell like a dead jellyfish.
Judith: Elegant and sensual, yet dangerous and masculine. I came to inform you that this fireplace is electric, so you may have to find some other method by which to dispose of your government certified log.
Indie: God. Alright. Well, I suddenly feel the need to perform a governmental inspection of the hotel garbage shoot in accordance with current health and safety standards. You know, making sure it's in good enough working order to transport large, cadaverous, formerly presidential items, just as a random example.
Judith (over creepy sfx): You needn't worry. I already tested the strength of the rubbish shoot this morning by tossing down the head chef of this hotel after he tried to serve you eggs that were one degree too cold. He's still in one piece, but so are airpods after you accidentally run them through the washing machine.
Indie: I see. Are we paying you for these inspections, Judith?
Judith: Oh, no, I do it for the love of our glorious nation.
Indie: Alright, I'll hide this corpse the old fashioned way- with a shovel and a dream. You must have a shovel and a dream in you somewhere, Judith. Please?
Judith: I own no shovel, and I haven't had a dream in years. What's this about a corpse?
Indie: It was here that Indeterminance was confronted with a choice that would change her life forever. Could she trust the butler with the knowledge of her crime? Between her saintly dead mother, her neglectful father and her two horrible step sisters, Rutabaga and Trout, the only one left to raise her had been the butler. They had brushed her hair, tied her laces, soothed her when she cried… If she could not trust this one person, she could trust nobody at all. And yet, still she hesitated.
Judith: You hired me two weeks ago, ma'am. You're paying me ten dollars an hour.
Indie: Fine. Whatever. Just go ahead and ruin my narrative suspense, why don't you. Here's the deal: the president is dead. I replaced him with a purple-haired bisexual woman who wears sandals with socks and is overly passionate about moving horses around in some ancient boardgame. I feel pretty good about this decision. Now, are you going to help me hide his body, or am I going to have to hide yours as well?
Judith: Oh, the president? I've been trying to kill that fucker for years. Pass him over.
[thump]
Thank you. I shall wrap him up and dispose of him discreetly. Like a tampon!
Indie: It's that easy?
Judith: You're rich, you can kill whoever you want. Would you like a lemonade?
Indie: But Indeterminance had no time to partake in the sweet juice of the lemon, for one more mystery remained to be solved: where were the seven secret love letters of Petroleum Hotdog? She checked the kitchens, the bathrooms, the dining hall, the study, the jewel-counting room, the observatory, the… Aha!
[phone dialling sounds / ringing]
Patty: Hi, you've reached the voicemail of Patricia Bur-
Asbestos: Whatcha doin'?
Patty: Recording my voicemail. It's kinda like when the library's closed so you have to stick your books in the return slot outside, but the slot is a recording of me saying "please leave a message after the beep". Say hi to whoever's listening to this!
Asbestos: No. I don't trust them. What are your intentions with my earth hostage, stranger? State them immediately or I shall blow up your mobile communication device with my mind! Also, please call back and explain to me what a library is. I've been pretending to know so that Patty thinks I'm smart, but based on the metaphor she just laid out, my prior hypothesis that it was some kind of dairy product or perhaps a fancy dog breed has become somewhat challenged. Love and kisses, Asbestos Sputnik Le Guin.
Patty: What? You didn't tell me you had a cool middle name! Mine is Tomato. Anyway. Please leave a message after the beep. Bessy, do you want to…?
Asbestos: Beeeeeeeeeeeee-
(prolonged coughing fit)
-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! And don't call this number again, you hear me? Bad things will happen if you do! Real bad th-
[recording ends]
Indie: Hello my normal wife. I'm choosing to ignore whatever that was in favour of informing you that I have found your missing correspondence, and that it was in your other jacket. You know, the one that's exactly the same as your regular jacket except in a slightly greyer shade of green. Don't worry, I haven't read your letters! I am a woman of great honour and standing. Sometimes great sitting. I'm multifaceted that way.
[end voicemail]
[Indie hangs up, then picks up the phone again]
[phone ringing]
Operator: You have two new messages.
[beep]
Indie: Hello again, my single-apparition comet. Because I value transparency in our relationship (which we founded entirely on lies) I'm just calling to let you know that I opened one of the letters. I only did it in the interest of national security, and freedom, and because I really wanted to know what was inside. I haven't read it! But I will. I definitely will. Yours truly, love and light, her first ladyfulness Independence Liberty Day.
[beep]
Indie: Hi Patty! I didn't know you had a little brother. He appears to be in severe mental distress. How cute! Listen, there was a letter in there that you must have forgotten to send. So, because I felt a little guilty about reading it, I posted it for you! No need to pay me back for the stamp. XOXO, Indie.
P.S: Okay, if anyone is tapping this phone call, stop it now. I need to talk to my wife ALONE.
Okay, so you want to hear the real gossip? I heard that Independence Day is voiced by Jenny Wang, Patty is voiced by Monkozia, and Judith the Butler is voiced by N.V. May. Asbestos Le Guin is apparently voiced by Bulk, which is wild. I also heard that Spikes edited this episode! Really scandalous stuff. It could ruin their whole careers if it got out that they were such sick freaks! That's why I'm only telling you, and nobody else. K, love you, bye!
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Domestic husband sigma in daily life I cant help it, hes just so husband you know. 😭
literally write anything you want about him idc I just want him
Omg yes he is so husband fr. Thanks for the request!
'•.¸♡husband sigma♡¸.•'
Sigma x gn!reader
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Enjoy!
When his eyes open to the morning light and you're still asleep he will just stay in bed till you wake up, admiring you while playing with your hair.
If he wakes up and you're not there he will get out of bed and look for you. If you are in the kitchen making breakfast he'll give a hug from behind and a kiss on your cheek. If you are gone he'll just make himself breakfast and go to work or something.
If you are awake but still in bed, once he wakes up to find your eyes meeting he'll give a lazy smile as he leaves the bed.
You take turns to make breakfast, sometimes you make French toast or he makes you sandwich and a cup of coffee/tea.
Before he leaves he gives you a kiss goodbye or it's the other way around, if you have a pet he also says goodbye to it and gives it a little goodbye kiss.
He will miss you throughout the day but his mind is mostly occupied by his job, it's the time he has to think to himself when he misses you the most.
Weather you are a stay at home partner or have a job he doesn't care and would support you in anything that makes you happy.
If you have a baby he will try to take as much time as he can to be with his child and have a fun time with his family.
When he gets home and you are still out working he will get dinner started unless you really wanted to cook that day.
If it's late and you haven't come home yet, the dinner is getting cold and Sigma is becoming slightly anxious he will call you if he can, if you cannot answer then he'll just text you.
If he misses you he might fidget with with his ring casually thinking of some moments the two of you have together which always bring a smile on his face.
If you get home earlier or are a stay at home partner and make him dinner he'll be very happy and compliment your cooking/baking skills.
In the evenings you spend sometime together by doing a hobby, reading, watching a movie while cuddling or some other activity the two of you would like.
At night you usually spend your time holding each other saying sweet words to each other or just talking about whatever, there are times the either of you would like to sleep early so you go to bed earlier that night.
Also you have a pet together.
༺♡༻ 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 ⋆ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 ༺♡༻
I wanted to post something before going to bed.
Sorry for not posting as much I have some projects on my mind at the moment, that sounds like I have to make a couple of presentations on like space or something or make a paper cutout of a cat that's not what I mean but its still funny to think about.
Have a wonderful day/night and do something you like.
-with love, Az the wizard frog :)
#bsd#bsd x reader#bsd sigma#bungo stray dogs#sigma x reader#sigma x you#sigma bsd#bungo stray dogs sigma#bungou stray dogs sigma#bsd sigma x reader#sigma bungou stray dogs#sigma hc#husband sigma#sigma husband#sigma#sigma is such a husband that husbands are jealous that he isnt their husband
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