#sorry i have to compile these. god fuck my life

[halovianed]

yumi kimura / joseph cambell / @/ruhlare / mary oliver / hanya yanagihara

[crossbackpoke-check]

V random but I’m in my Brockpetey feels could I listen to your 46 60 playlist!!

of course!! the first playlist i mentioned in the tags is actually not mine—it belongs to ash @notthequiettype and is a soundtrack to their wonderful fic Lake Rules (go read it if you haven’t already!!! highly recommend!!!)

annnd this one is my personal brockpetey vibes playlist

happy listening!!!

[chasedeys]

Hi do you have a favorite moment between Joe and Ja’Marr ?? Also how would you describe their relationship I’m new to this fandom and they are just so close and adorable

hi there!! thank you sm for coming by and sending this ask bc now there's like 2k+ words under the cut 😭 i feel like i should apologize profusely for the unchecked word vomit oh my god

to start off, like would you believe me if i said i’ve been a fan of the bengals for like a month :')) started ts during the week leading up to the first regular season game when jamarrs contract literally gripped me with the drama of it all. so for all my word vomit below feel free to fact check me ahaha

you asked me for a favorite moment for joemarr and i start describing their entire life together i am so very sorry, but:

on the top of my head literally just two weeks ago. this 63 yarder jamarr and joe made that led to an mildly feral celly where they just. didn’t know how to act right and got made fun of for not doing a cool celly?? this insane anon ask i sent before i caved and made a sideblog was actually just my word vomit over it 😭. And also last weeks celly, a whole lot softer and more tender with jamarr skipping then walking straight towards joe who held his arms out for him? thats crazyyyy he was expected! he was welcomed!! he was loved!!! the way one of the fired up coach just let joemarr have their intimate little moment before slapping jamarrs shoulders in joy is also crazy to me 😵‍💫 and just this screenshot of that celly where they’re just wrapped around each other right in front of their sidelines. the fuck. watched that shit sick to my stomachhhh i had enoughhhh.

this edit with the compilation of their post-tds pinky shakes oh my goddd. just every time they do pinky shakes!! who does that!!!! the softest possible way they can make a handshake (since college my god) in a status quo where you make the most elaborate handshakes to look cool and spread joy and burn up adrenaline but these two chose to do a quick twist of their pinky fingers (the symbolism of it alllll how dare theyy) and pressing knuckles together for however long they want to. the roty award where they did their pinky shake is one of my favorites huhu

the lakers date…..the way i had no idea sam and dj reader were with them on this date until i see a full vid of lebron meeting them 😭 and the lore goes crazyyy for this whole thing bc apparently joe was having the shittiest week in arizona and jamarr made an obscure ig story that he arrived in az before deleting it (like whyyyy would he do that) and then boom. they’re in the lakers game in lsu/lakers colors. and jamarr did that arms around shoulder thing that blows my mind because what the fuck is wrong with him why would he do that in front of lebron james and anthony davis and like national tv idk. joe also clapped (??? for whatever reason this fucking dork my godd) his hands right in front of jamarrs face when jamarr was being introduced to the stadium.

THE WEIRD CLOTHES PAIRING THING IS INSANE TO ME TOO. they do it in such subtle ways that you just think its a coincidence and you're delusional and it probably is but!! but??? they went to the game wearing yellow and purple (color coordinating lakers colors!! if i were on a date i would also do that cringy shit!!) that is also coincidentally lsu colors! another theory is they each chose to wear lakers colors without the other knowing of which this is just another case of soulmatism. the matching shoes during week 3! the sort of matching color schemes for their away game airport fits! last week both wearing rick owens apparently idk?? no idea if they've done this before this season btw i just got here lol. this is reaching ofc but very fun to think of!

jamarr being batshit crazy with his words abt joe. 'he's like a god to me' 'trying playing without my favorite quarterback' 'i told him dont scare me like that again. he knows how to slide he's just hard headed' 'im here for the future, for him. i want you to be here for the future' (this was abt joe playing through an injury :)) etc etc. something about 'just keep winning as many championships together' or like 'me and him come as package' or something fairy tale ish like that idk man he's crazy i could make something up only to be bamboozled because he has in fact said shit like it before. and like his refusal to consider anyone but joe for the no. 1 qb hhh. somebody needs to put him in an mri and study his brain when shown a picture of joe burrow bc like?? the way jake had to prove himself before jamarr even followed him on ig is ??? pls be normal jamarr i beg of u (he's perfect the way he is).

while jamarrs insane with his words, joes insane with his actions!! the lsu sec championship ball he gave to jamarr. that little look like ‘hey you want it? okay its rightfully yours' mkayy crazy ass!!! jamarrs lsu championship game worn jersey joe asked for and worn for their first game back in nola. just what the fuck went through joes mind that led to this. their dads (both named jimmy both close since lsu too, cute!) were asked about their fav joe game day fit they said the jamarrs lsu jersey 😃! in laws approving your partner of choice etc. this is jimmy chases interview regarding joemarr too btw haha. anyway back to joe being insane—the demented way joe runs to jamarr and hops around him and slams his helmet to his when jamarr makes plays. and like again this is speculation as in no citation sorry but jamarrs reason for going to cincy is definitely in part because of joe?? joe being the one to text him pack your bags you’re going to cincy is crazyyy. firmly believe joe talked him up and asked for him! when they last parted before joe went to cincy did they make a pact that they would play in a team together again? did jamarr reach out when joes 2020 season ending injurys news reached him? did he watch him go down that first time?

also during their lsu days they interviewed the wr core and they were asked abt who joe likes best (stupid ass question in my opinion btw. why would they ask that), it was so....sooooo......like jamarr was so shy and unsure!! he's like 'is it..me?' and terrace going 'he does like throwing to jamarr most' and then jamarr bursting into embarrassed laughter like okay??? okay 😭😭 fine okay be cute or whatever. in my mind back then jamarr was a whole lot more unsure of his presence in joes life because hes super young, his qb is literally 3 years older, its their first year playing together etc but i think being joe being upfront on asking jamarr to play with him in cincy (again speculation on my part no idea if this is true ha) just cements the little gremlin in his head that believes he has to be crazy about joe

their 2021 preseason jamarrs drops were apparently disgusting enough for people to shit on his entire life idk and crucify the bengals for drafting another wr but joe was so firm on his belief in jamarr! that's devotion babyyyy his clap back in the first post game presser was very much what were u saying abt the loml coded love that for them

last feb probowl dramaaa rumors of jamarr moving to houston bc he chirped at cj stroud that he knew cj wanted to play with him or smtg so he had to post this very emotional very sincere tweet and speak abt it in an interview 😭😭 just head empty no thoughts mouth racing! joe probably teased the ever living shit out of him 'so you’re moving to houston without telling me :( i had to find out through twitter :(('

just teasing each other in numerous occasions over each others speed??? that mic'ed up moment when joe teased jamarr over being slow! yelling out his name so many times just to say that he was a little slow and jamarr shooting back instantly with an incredulous ‘be serious. be serious.’ vs jamarr nagging joe over being slow ass hell during his 20 (?) yard rushing attempt and joe defending himself in the whiniest voice i have ever heard from him saying he had to wait for ted to block before him (ted then going what did i do? ted I’m sorry you had to be dragged into their weird mating dance banter) and also this gem of a jamarr tweet (x)

speaking of jamarrs twitter, 17yo him’s curiouscat answers that insanely aligns with joe is nothing short of crazy. they have not met or heard of each other then i don't think. but according to it he likes them older, smart, doesn't mind if they're taller, but he doesn't fw long distance so he flew his ass to ohio 😮‍💨. (also whooo be sending these asks high schoolers dear lordd 😭). the soulmatism between them is kinda crazy like joe being well over 3yrs his senior yet still they had a moment chance to play together during jamarrs freshie/sopho (?) year in college because joe chooses to transfer to lsu, and coach o taking a chance on him despite not playing for how many long, winning a championship (!!) together for that one year that they could play together, and saying fuck that only one year bullshit before flying jamarrs ass right to cincy so they could play 4 and counting more years together.

jamarr talking abt where it apparently clicked for joe and jamarr that joe can throw to jamarr and jamarr would be right there to catch it haha. like he didn't give a shit if people thought it was joes big life changing moment hes just insisting that that was when he and joe really clicked!

literally my favorite mic'ed up moment between them. the teasing! the nagging! 'you see the big blue thing' 'don't do me that' 'that's the endzone' then the laugh!!!! ‘he’s gonna get mad at me when i tell him this shit' then gesturing joe over like hes a cat my god jamarr 'you couldnt overthrow me?' a very affronted 'my guy you were wide open' aughuhghuhhguu joy love laughter etc. (side note can't help myself sorry pretty sure the reason joe teased him about the endzone is bc jamarr could’ve gone for it but got tackled bc he was kinda slow to start sprinting and when he did he just sat there legs out shoulders dropped looking disappointed but cute as all hell i love him sm)

sooo many other moments because theyve literally been in each others lives for over five years!!!! recently joe saying jamarr playing is fun to watch 😵‍💫, jamarr saying numerous times that joes a tough mfer but also hard-headed and how he's also hard-headed but at least he listens (my guy....reflect again), that article of jamarr knocking on doors for a house near joe that he denied i think but he also said that he kept his stuff in joes house before he got his own, that jamarr gq shoot where he went insane and lied (or did he?) about buying joe clothes that just led to the ridiculous clothes saga that is still unsolved to this day and that tb and tee very obviously teased him over and somehow the socmed team clowned him on too 😭

etc etc stop me please

AND ANYWAYSSS MOVING ON:

how i would describe their relationship is ride or die with incredibly similar way of living by which i mean they live and breathe a sport they’re so talented in and they play to win and beat themselves up for doing bad in but also with the awkwardness of knowing they’re two vastly different people with different ways of seeing things and handling things but also even with that steadfast difference of being they also believe in each other in a truly outrageous way that it translates to them saying and being insane about each other (hence the list above) with little to no shame. (i hope this makes sense because im not reading all that over again wow)

like they’re so complicated to me!! by all means i don’t actually know these two or what they’re really like, but surface level they’re so different! their temperament is literally 180, joes cool and steady persona, incapable of being ruffled, closed off, moments of silliness he brings out only in certain situations, smart little quips he gives out at times like he can’t help himself vs exuberant open extroverted blustering to hide his shyness runs his mouth always down to fight jamarr chase. they couldn’t be more different! so how can they read each other so well? how can they run routes and plays with minute changes whilst running from men trying to take them down between one heartbeat to the next? how is it that jamarr is so down bad for this man that he can just say the shit he does about him? how much trust does joe have in this man that he shuts down every bad shit anybody tries to tell him or coax him to say? something about /always/ choosing the other despite everything is always a thing that attracts me to a ship.

also after that infamous kc game shove, i definitely think they had a very tough heart to heart where jamarr maybe spills his full feelings over the contract and how he hasn’t been getting the ball to actually make big plays and how his worth as a wr1 is being brought to question and joe probably spills on his own feelings on how jamarr held out so long and had last minute (?) changes of playing that week one ramps up joes own anxiety and hang ups like i definitely feel like he had some unchecked anxiety over playing with his wrist that first game that jamarr probably said something incredibly insane yet uplifting about in response. the next game its like they mended some unseen frayed stitch of their connection! first drive banger of a 41 yarder td for jamarr, two tuddys for the game in fact lol!! joe gets him his deep ball, then the insane way joe rushed at him after his 63 yarder in the next game, its like that first touchdown against minnesota again. i just wish the very best for them, to keep making these insane passes and insane runs they've been making since lsu.

anyway i feel like a lot of my rambling is for jamarr sorry 😭 he’s like a drug to me such an interesting person i base my thoughts around him. I feel obliged to say i wrote my first ever fic and its them lmao and i link this just as a fair warning to everyone that i very obviously write and ramble in the tags like im in love with jamarr, definitely with some bias, and I’m learning how not to be ashamed of that !

also nobody asked but scrolling through the hell that is my photo gallery i just have to share my favorite tee photo which is coincidentally the mock photoshoot the bengals socmed team made them do to clown jamarrs gq shoot ahaha

hearts ❤️ thank u for reading all the way through :"))

[twinklix]

hello!! is it okay to see a soft doting dom felix x sub fem reader? i do see quite a lot of weird nsfw lix imagines and i can never read them as im pretty normal and subby and it’s rare to see nsfw imagines like that! same with hyunjin tbh <333

₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎˚ ✧ anything for you | L.FL

Soft Dom Lee Felix x Fem reader | wc 1.6k

an; Hi anonie! I’m sosososo sorry for the wait. the last year was hectic i've been away but i'm back to writing now! I hope you like this! i also have a way longer felix fic planned out that was originally gonna be my response to thus request ! <3

Warnings; smut, fluff, established relationship, oral (f receiving), felix is head over heels, praise, soft dom x sub, pet names (baby, angel, beautiful), unprotected sex (wrap it up!), mentions of aftercare, lmk if i forgot anything (not edited)

18+ MDNI

"is there anything else you need?!"

He asked this like it was a life or death situation. Furrowed brows adorning his usually calm and sweet face.

"No lixie," you tried to wave his worries away with a laugh, "im fine."

His face softened as he moved to sit beside you on the bed. You turned toward him and took his face into your hands. A smile spread across his face as his eyes met yours. He got like this whenever you left for more than two days, and this time it was a month.

"i just want my baby to be happy... i missed you so much" his gaze shifted down and you released his face.

"i am happy baby! All i need to be happy is you."

A bout of relief swelled in his stomach at your reassurance. He finally let himself breathe, sighing out to try and calm himself down.

“In fact, I’ll show you how happy you make me..” His gaze, now a questioning one, drifted back to you. Before he could inquire further, you reached for his hand, leading it slowly under your skirt, eyes refusing to tear from his widening ones as you did so.

He felt his fingers brush over the fabric of your soft panties. You were wet. VERY wet.

Big doe eyes met his even bigger shocked ones.

“i missed you baby~” you practically mewled, desperation laced deep in your voice, all your neediness from every night of the past month compiled together and rested in your panties where his finger slowly began dragging up and down.

The way you squirmed at his unexpected action made his dick stir in his pants. God he missed you too.

At some point he had moved you to lay beneath him on your shared bed as he hovered above you, admiring everything about you.

“wanna taste you angel..it’s been too long.”

His wish excited you and you nodded up at him eagerly. He sat up and watched with lust filled eyes as you spread your legs, skirt pooling at your legs and putting your panties on display. The wet spot he had felt before, visible to him now.

After a soft “fuck” was mumbled, he reached forward to pull your panties down your legs (with your help). The view in front of him was something he had dreamt about constantly for the past month and now here it was. All for him.

“please baby”

Your plea reached his ears and as much as he wanted to stare at you forever, taking in the sight of your wetness sticking to your thighs, dripping from his favourite place on earth, he wanted more to taste you, feel you and mostly make you feel good.

“anything for you, angel.”

He dove in, arms wrapping around your soft thighs to hold them open as he licked a stripe up your slit.

“taste just as sweet as i remember..” he groaned before wrapping his soft lips around your bud, sucking just the way he knew you loved. And he knew he was right when your hands reached down to thread through his blonde locks. Geez, when did his hair get this long you thought. Your soft whimpers made a beeline to his dick, making it painfully hard.

A strong feeling swirled through your stomach, one that you hadn’t felt in a month. The change in your voice and the tightening of your grip in his hair must have alerted him of your situation because he suddenly pulled his mouth away.

Your hands untangled from his hair and you pushed yourself to sit up on your arms, glaring at him with furrowed brows.

“it’s okay baby, i’ll give you want you want..” You looked at him questioningly as he sat up. “..but i want you to do it while i’m inside you.”

In a moment he had stripped you of your skirt, shirt and bra, taking in the sight of your body like it was the first time again. Red spread across your cheeks as you reached up to his pants, looking up at him for permission, feeling shy that you were the only one naked. After a nod and soft hand smoothing over your hair, you unbuckled his pants and helped him out of them. Them along with his shirt and boxers were discarded on the floor along with your clothes.

Before you even got a chance to look at him, his mouth and hands were on you, kissing you like you were the only source of oxygen in the room. His hands ran along your waist and breasts like he was trying to confirm you were really there after all this time and this wasn’t just another wet dream fuelled by his longing for you.

“Beautiful.” He mumbled into your mouth, voice somehow deeper than usual. He reluctantly pulled away from your mouth as he softly pushed you to lay down.

You were so needy for him, desperate to feel him after so long. He thought you looked so adorable with hands reached up to him trying to bring him closer. “want you lix..please..it’s been so long.”

And who was he to say no to you?

He positioned himself at your entrance, looking at you to see how you bit your lip and watched impatiently to feel him inside you. He pushed himself inside slowly, immediately letting out a deep groan at how tight you were.

“Fuck..” He breathed out as he bottomed out, burrowing his face in your neck to inhale your scent that he missed so deeply.

Having him inside you made you feel full in so many ways. On one hand you felt so complete and content to be with him in this way and to be able to express your undying love for each other in the most intimate way. But on the other hand, the way his length filled you completely made your walls clench and brain go empty, thinking only of him.

“Gonna move now baby.” He told you softly, moving to hover above you. He pulled himself back out to the tip, making your breath hitch, before pushing back inside you swiftly.

You moaned out softly as he developed a steady rhythm, instantly getting lost in the feeling of you.

His eyes shut as he leaned down, pressing his lips to yours, resting on his arms beside your head.

The kiss was filled with love and passion. It was just another way for Felix to express his upmost adoration for you.

He angled his hips slightly, repeatedly hitting that one spot inside you, making a string of moans be muffled by the kiss. He pulled away to look down at you, his pupils blown as he watched you lost in pleasure.

“fuck..” His deep voice growled out between groans. “.. s-so…fucking beautiful.” His words were coming out stuttered. That pressure already building inside him.

He leaned down again to press wet kisses and soft bites to the sensitive spot of your neck that always made you even weaker for him.

“baby..” You moaned out, reaching up to tangle a hand in his locks.

He hummer in your neck, his thrusts speeding up to bring more sounds of pleasure from your lips.

“That’s right baby…let me hear you.. just wanna make you feel good.” And after he said that, one of his hands snaked down your body, applying pressure to your swollen clit, causing you to tighten around him impossibly more.

“So close lixie!” Those words were such a relief to your boyfriend because he knew he couldn’t last much longer. Not when you felt this good around him and sounded this pretty below him.

The fingers on your clit, along with his thrusts sped up as he groaned out.

“B-baby!” You alerted him loudly that the coil inside of you was about to snap. But he already knew. he could tell by how your walls pulsated around him, practically squeezing his cock.

“i know angel.. i know. let go for me beautiful”

You didn’t need to be told twice as your orgasm washed over you with another loud moan. He couldn’t take it anymore either as he pushed himself inside you as deep as possible and released inside you, panting and groaning.

His hips rocked a few more times to help you both ride out your highs (and because he wasn’t ready yet to be apart from you). Only when overstimulation settled into him did he slowly pull out, instantly connecting his lips to yours as you wrapped your arms around him.

“i love you so much. you’re so perfect. i can’t be apart with you that long again.” The words poured out of him desperately between kisses, all emotions and love for you pouring through him.

“i love you too lixie.” The words were breathy as you slowly came down, smiling up at him warmly as he pulled away from you.

His eyes fell to where your mixed releases spilled from you. His heart swelled knowing he was finally connected with you again after all this time.

Your gaze moved to where his was as you giggled, sitting up on your arms. “i should probably clean myself up.” You giggled but felix shook his head, quickly and softly moving you to lay down comfortably again.

“Your not moving baby. You’re not lifting a single finger!” He declared dramatically making you giggle again. “I’ll do everything for you.” He informs before leaning down to kiss you once more.

“I’d do anything for you.”

[squidthusiast]

What’s your favorite fic by theashemarie? I want to read her stuff, but I’m so intimidated by how much there is!! Where do I start?

OH ANON HOW I’VE BEEN DYING TO ANSWER THIS ONE!!!!

You’ve opened up THE can of worms my good fellow…

I am so sorry for the person i’m about to become

I’ve actually spent the last couple days making a simplified compilation of Ashe’s works, to make it easier for new readers to visualize them.

It’s the reason why it has taken me some time to answer this haha.

As for my favourite fic…. That’s such an insanely hard question to answer T_T

I’ll put the compilation & my thoughts under the cut to minimize dashboard noise.

(Disclaimer: i’m not a writer so some of the terms I use are from my loose understanding of literature!)

Warning for rambling ahead!!

I tried to make the fomatting as straightforward as possible! If there are any other questions you can drop a comment :)

As for the fav fic stuff:

I don’t think I can have a hard singular favourite of Ashe’s fics, because they’re all different and encompass different themes and vibes and ideas, and fuck man they’re just so good. Ashe has a masters degree in writing and it SHOWS, but also just her writing style & way of developing stories.. it’s so captivating, rich and thoughtful. I love analyzing their work & being rewarded with the amount of detail and effort that is put into it.

Here’s a couple that fucked me up particularly good though, if you must know:

LDR AU | Meet Me on the Rink | And Take Off Your Mask | Simulacrum | Language Barrier

At least two of these majorly impacted my life & mean a whole lot to me because of the themes, topics and characterization in them.

I think one of my favourite things about Ashe’s works is how visceral and raw and real they feel while you read ‘em. There’s a real strong focus on the plot, which makes for a fantastic build up throughout the story. There’s also emphasis on characterization, and by the gods it’s deliciously crafted. The direct and indirect ways in which Ashe portrays the personalities, flaws and motivations of characters… MAN.

A lot of people read fics for a quick hit of fluff or angst, so plot-heavy, meaty fics with a lot of undertones and somewhat unconventional themes can be very different from typical expectations.

Still, I stand by the fact that it’s exactly because of this that Ashe’s work is so refreshing and fascinating to read through, and I strongly encourage everyone to give it a try, especially if you like Off the Hook.

She also has a lot of oneshots and shorter stories that I listed above, if longer ones feel daunting. They’re just as good!!

I’m really grateful that they share all of this work online; creating entails a lot of work, whether it be art, writing, cosplay, etc.

Posting it for free on top of that??? I think we need to appreciate our fic writers more, honestly. They’re a huge pillar in fandom spaces that often goes unnoticed.

That’s my little ramble on the topic, thank you for reading if you went this far!

I hope this helps Anon, and if you need more pointers or thoughts you can hit me up again.

With all that said, big shout out to @theashemarie , this is my big propaganda post for you all to follow her and/or check out their work, and leave her a comment if you enjoy the fics!! I know they appreciate them a lot :)

[buckybarnesss]

Bro, the noise I just made. I literally cannot stand the fanon for Stiles or Derek. It is so so soooo bad, I think these people literally have only seen the 2 hour sterek compilation. Every day I am like "who fucking told you people that Derek never smiles and has no sense of humor?"

Stiles gets turned into this big eyed, kitten twink who wouldn't dare to misbehave because he's the sheriff's son (the kid who gets drunk in the WOODS, and gets his dad drunk so he can steal casefiles!!)

Derek like... He is either completely useless and cannot dress himself for a date without fanon!Laura (do not get me started) telling him what to do, or he is so emotionally repressed and damage that he can barely handle someone kissing him without him falling to pieces.

LIKE. Derek smiles. Derek makes jokes!! Derek laughed at Stiles right before the pool scene. Derek knows how to use a cellphone and a laptop. Derek is a goddamn millenial, he knows what grumpy cat is. He knows he's hot, he has a mirror!!

Also... the man lived in New York fucking City. He's not afraid of crowds or talking to people or making out, he uses sex to get his way (Erica and the deputy at the front desk!!)

i know.

like, there's a period of fics that are usually from the s1-2 period that lean pretty hard on derek's dark, brooding and grumpiness from season 1 but of course he was like that. he was going through The Horrors during season 1. he was grieving laura, he was being retraumatized by kate and dealing with scott, stiles and fucking jackson.

he wasn't one dimensional though. his anger was a mask for all the fear, confusion and trying to be in control.

do you know how many fics i've read where people have stiles think about all the apparent physical violence derek has done to stiles as if he's always slamming him into surfaces? way too many to count and it's incorrect. off the top of my head i can count 3 times derek did something like that to stiles. the shove into the wall and slam into the steering wheel in wolf's bane both of which had a point to them. whether or not it was a good emotional response doesn't matter. what matters is that they were not random or part of derek's personality. he didn't just shove stiles into things every time he saw him. the wall shove in s4 with de-aged derek was a deliberate call back to that very instance in wolf's bane. it was literally coupled with the whole cousin miguel bit.

fandom doesn't like to acknowledge that derek hale isn't particularly violent over the course of the show. he hardly even wins the fights he engages in and he is often forced into fights knowing he cannot win.

our boy mostly ends up on the fucking floor.

derek also does make jokes. dry ones usually he thinks they are hilarious too. he thinks he's a funny guy. his dad joke game must've been off the charts, sorry eli.

he and stiles trade barbs a lot and he thinks stiles is funny. stiles amuses him and he indulges it a few times. he shows off to stiles too like a loser.

he likes to fuck with scott and stiles and enjoys taking the piss out of peter. he genuinely enjoyed fucking with liam in s4.

he's not a luddite either. he has a cellphone and we see him use it. i bet he plays games on it. i bet he plays candy crush and words with friends.

and fanon evolved to strip away that stiles is an asshole. he a violent little freak. he threatens people, he expresses regularly his desire to kill people or have them die, he cares about a very small selection of people in his life and if you're not in that circle than god be with your ass because stiles most definitely won't.

he loves and respects his father but this doesn't mean stiles respects the law which is why i don't know why the law enforcement route was chosen for him. stiles hates rules and boundaries. he chafes at them.

stiles casually helps kira and scott break into evidence to get her cell phone. he tells scott's fbi agent father to fuck himself. he got his dad drunk to get access to case files. he copies people's keys. he's a nosy shit.

the whole show started because stiles was a nosy punk kid who wanted to see a dead body.

but i digress.

fanon stiles had a lot of scott's characteristics projected onto him so they could bash scott. i know there's a lot of people who don't like scott which is fine or whatever but there are so many that do it so they can make a pinata out of a character they've extracted all the good points from and give to their favorite little white boy fav.

stiles "i will beat you with a bat" stilinski is a freaky little shit who will bite you.

do you know how hard i laughed when in s3 stiles and isaac genuinely just like could not stand each other? they couldn't be in the same room with out insulting one another and it was the complete opposite of stiles being oh so sensitive to isaac's past and history than straight up in 3b stiles the epitome of insensitive says to isaac something about still milking it (his abuse). stiles is a dick.

i also genuinely have umbrage with the pack mom trope that stiles gets saddled with. the way fandom has oft feminized stiles leaves a bad taste in my mouth too.

derek and stiles are both assholes and i love them very much.

[astradyke]

MY EXPERIENCE W/ TIT TOUR (tysons 2)

( written while looping I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by MCR, and also a car alarm going off outside my dorm room repeatedly :') )

NON-SPOILER SECTION:

SO many sweet people in line. someone gave us (me, my best friend, and my other beautiful friend) custom dan & phil stickers (pictured above), there was a lovely person in cat whiskers making sure people knew the difference between the gen admission & silver line, etc. phannies have the coolest fashion sense all the sick lovely lesbians were making me nervous... <3

s/o to my best friend's running capacity we were first in merch line!!! I am so endlessly happy with my photocard haul especially the uni hoodie one that one is my FAVORITE, also I love this long-sleeve so much. I almost got more merch but I held myself back and I think that was a good call! Also a super cool phannie made custom photocards and I got a silly dan one :D

y'all already saw but I met Clo @bitchslapblastoids who is the first mutual I have ever met in real life ever! between you and me... she is super kind and also really cool :]

our seats were so good!! balcony like row F or whatever but it worked out <3 our seatmate was also very kind!!!

pre-show people danced to HOT TO GO! and someone held up a Palestine flag and we all cheered! and people were moshing to von dutch which is so beautiful to me

SPOILER SECTION:

List of favorite jokes included: "Now our show passes the Bechdel test!" "I have kind of an aloof sociopath vibe going. ... which has worked for me :)" "[I am not satisfied on screen] What was that about? // I think I was just horny that day." "Scared of my life without you when I kill you!" "Dan had depression :D!!" "Enough about the gay, we've already done the gay// Enough about the depression, we've already talked about the depression."

No "sorry daddy, I mean father" line, which is devastating, BUT we didn't get the whole 'do you think Dan Howell' can commit schpiel with the wedding... much to think about

our conspiracies were pumpkin, faked sleepless night 3, bar, and wedding! i deeply wanted the other conspiracies i am so not going to lie but it's okay...

our "one minute" tangent was about electricity, clo made a post about this but they made a God and Adam joke because Phil tried to electrocute Dan and it failed so they were just awkwardly touching fingertips for a period of time

Nothing could have prepared me for the Phil on top of Dan choking him with the llama hat thing. Like i knew it was going to happen but still nothing could have prepared me. i think i fully grabbed my best friend's arm and shoulders and shook them a bit

our confessions and like nolemodel bit were really funny shout out DMV phannies!!!

Really made me sad when phil made the joke about babysitting like NO!!! YOUR CONTENT IS THE REASON I CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT WHEN MY PARANOIA IS BAD!!!!!!!! I LOVE U HIATUS YR CONTENT PHIL!!!! But his whole thing about the hiatus being a good thing in the end because it brought us here... <333

every segment felt perfectly timed and the entire show was just so funny and good. Like ultimately i can yearn for having gotten different conspiracies or slightly different vibes but altogether it was incredible.

THE SONG WAS LIFE-CHANGING. I knew more about it thru spoilers than I had thought but either way not only was it so fucking good, like, I'm going to get I-D-G-A-F it saved me tattooed. I have decided this.

WRAP UP THOUGHTS:

I first got into Dan and Phil when I was 11/12-- my first video was post Daniel Howell rebrand, and it was Daniel and Depression, I'll give you three guesses as to why my friend at the time recommended that video. I was obviously a die-hard phan at the time, reading phic and watching the compilations and obsessed with their gaming videos. I remember being like, unfathomably depressed trying to do math homework in bed, and just 'secretely' watching their videos instead. I can remember exactly when the first WDAPTEO dropped, and like how much I wanted to go to interactive introverts but was too scared to (I think I'm glad I didn't go for personal reasons) but my friends did go. I remember I was leaving summer gym class before I started HS when Basically I'm Gay dropped, and watching it-- but I was 13 almost 14, closeted, and while it resonated with me it didn't really hit me that strongly? I remember being most taken aback by the confirmation of their relationship, and the conclusion Dan left about his own sexuality had an impact on me wrt rejecting the constraints of labels, but it didn't really hit me crazily. during hiatus years I watched solo AP semi often but so much was happening... obviously, when the hiatus returned, i came back full force. when it's summer and i can't sleep at night, I watch AP hiatus years solo content; I watched most of the Dystopia Dailys; I saw We're All Doomed's digital release w/ the same best friend I went to TIT with; and obviously, you all have seen me talk about their collaborative content. But after that time, maybe even a bit before the hiatus ended, I rewatched Basically I'm Gay. after all I went through in high school (nothing quite like his experiences, but aspects of it resonated through), that video hit me like a fucking truck-- it made me realize the inherent amount that my queer identity played in my trauma, and it like... made me really emotional lol. also, Phil's openness about his chronic illness has meant a lot especially as I battle with my own-- not chronic illness, but, physical health battles. So when they sang IDGAF it saved me, that was like fucking earth-shattering to me, because they did save me! from when i was 12 years old struggling to do work, wondering why i was so tired every day but at least having them to cheer me up-- to being 19 years old, joints aching and emotionally stressed, watching their pizza mukbang 2 and seeing how much happier they are, how much happier I am. they saved me. and i love them so, so fucking much.

On a very different note, seeing them live has colored my whole, uh, envisioning Dan Howell being trapped in my head in order to cope with my day to day mental isolation, issue, as being like... maybe not the move. so i'm trying to get more used to the quiet of my own head, but hey, over the years, they've helped a lot with that.

I wish i could have met them just to say all these things i'm realizing now, after seeing the show. but TLDR: TIT tysons 2 was the best night of my life. i love them, i love them, i love them, i love them, and i hope they know. i dunno how to move forward with my life after an experience like last night, just, God. i love you dan and phil. i love you phandom. it saved me. TIT saved me.

[overtake]

Not to be weird but I feel like I got zapped when I read your hockey snippet, how didn't I know that this existed? It's literally been living my brain for hours and I've not been able to stop re-reading it since 🙃 clearly you can take the girl out of toronto but you can't take toronto out the girl because im a changed person now. No pressure ofc I mean this in non-prodding way but praying and willing you to put your snippets together. If you never come around to it then I'm glad (and changed) for what you've shared with world regardless 🙏🏻🙏🏻

This is SO sweet 🥹 I love you so much. Just for this, please have a bit more hockey au. There's a tiny snippet after a media bit (Surprise, this fic is multi-media! Writing the social media parts has been my fave part of the entire process)

@.MapleLeafs on TikTok: | December 12, 2023

[Players walk by a whiteboard on their way into the practice rink. They're stopped to answer the question written on it as they enter. The caption written over their heads reads: "Who don’t your Leafs want to sit next to on a flight?"]

ALEX ALBON: Easy one. Esteban Ocon. He’ll bite your head off if you make a single noise. I think he’d get mad if the plane was going down and you tried to warn him. LOGAN SARGEANT: Gasly or Ocon. I don’t know if it’s a French thing, but they both get really annoyed if you talk to them on a plane. PIERRE GASLY: Danny Ric. He is the loudest person I’ve ever met in my life. ESTEBAN OCON: Daniel Ricciardo. Sorry, Daniel. DANIEL RICCIARDO: Gasly. Max and I were just having a conversation and he rose up behind us and nearly bit our heads off for laughing. I don’t know why he keeps sitting near us. MAX VERSTAPPEN: I don’t really mind sitting next to anyone. I usually sit next to Daniel, and we have a good time. He keeps movies downloaded for us. They're often not very good, but that's sometimes more fun, you know? YUKI TSUNODA: Daniel. VALTERRI BOTTAS: Daniel Ricciardo. ZHOU GUANYU: Daniel. He is very nice and fun, but sometimes you just want to relax on a flight. MARCUS ERICCSON: Surely everyone except Max picked Daniel, right? FERNANDO ALONSO: I don’t want to sit next to anyone.

Mara (DR’s Reputation Era) @.mv33fan: Fernando Alonso: I hate this entire team The entire team: We hate Daniel and the French Max and Daniel: Ask again later. Our mouths are occupied with each other’s dicks.

________

Theoretically, Daniel knew that his and Max's pre-game ritual could end up on the broadcast. Butt taps and silly handshakes in the tunnel inevitably end up on team Instagram stories even if they don't air on TV. It was to be expected, particularly on a Saturday night game against Ottawa.

Still, he didn’t exactly expect a whole montage. It's a nice little package, to be fair. It shows him and Max laughing next to each other in the tunnels and locker rooms before games, followed by their fingers interlocking in their usual drawn-out high five. Daniel prefers to fist bump the whole team and exit only before the goalies, but his routine with Max is always a bit of a production that holds up the line. It's only a surprise it hasn't been uploaded sooner.

After a game where Max scored two goals and Daniel threw his body in front of a rogue deflection and stopped the Sens from a late-third tie, the media naturally focuses on the montage. God forbid they talk about actual fucking hockey in the hockey interview.

“We call it tangled love,” he tells reporters in the press scrum after the game. “In honour of our artistic collision last game.”

It wasn’t a real collision. They’d just got tangled up together when things got chippy by the net. Their skates had collided and they'd taken each other out while trying to defend Esteban from some Habs players. It was all over social media, though, and Daniel knew they’d end up in some embarrassing NHL moments compilation.

They’d both laid on the ice, a little stunned and a lot stupid, before Daniel let out a giant laugh and broke the tension. Max had risen to his feet and tried to pull up Daniel, only for them both to fall right back down as if this was the first time they'd ever skated.

They’d actually been doing this little handshake all season, but reporters were always happy for a soundbite to latch onto and a joke they’d never let go. There's not much to work with in this league in the way of on-camera personality, so it’d probably be a story for the next week. The go-karting clips of the two of them were so popular than even Max mentioned he’d seen them on Reels, and he’d carefully curated his feed to show him anything but Leafs content.

Daniel can’t explain it, this warmth that makes him feel like he’s glowing from inside out all the time since the season started, but he knows he feels it most when he sees people write his name alongside Max’s like their togetherness is a given.

[dragonsdendoodles]

What do you think the children would watch on YouTube? What would their favorite youtubers and content be?

Oh god time to just scream my age on the internet

Also for the record if any of these people are problematic I don’t know about it or what happened my entire YouTube feed for the past six years has been Reddit stories and video essays I use for background noise when I draw so if I mention someone sucky I’m sorry I haven’t consumed their content since at least middle school

For starters, I think Emma, Millard, and Horace avoid it altogether out of principle. Emma and Horace because people are stupid and they cannot believe this is what modern entertainment is and Millard because he has ruined many videos by pointing out every inaccuracy he could find and he got sick of the cesspool of misinformation that is the internet.

Jacob has been watching Minecraft videos since the beginning of the damn site. Specifically he discovered iHasCupquake and DanTDM a couple years after joining the loop and now when he’s bored and in a time with internet access he watches Minecraft Oasis and DanTDM’s Custom Mod Adventures on repeat. Noor is the exact same way, but with life hack videos very obviously aimed at middle school girls that have stuff like painting staples with nail polish and sneaking candy into class via empty glue sticks. Think Wengie and SaraBeautyCorner. They actually grew up with this so it’s more about the nostalgia than anything else

Enoch likes history videos. And videos about games like War Thunder and World of Tanks. He also likes Vine compilations, discovered when Jacob and Noor were quoting vines to each other and Enoch joined with them having absolutely zero knowledge he even knew what that was. (Horace also begrudgingly knows what Vine was, but instead of saying “yeah I sure hope it does” to Enoch’s “road work ahead???” he goes “I hate you and everything you stand for” and Enoch laughs.)

Olive, Claire, and Bronwyn watch Gacha Life/Club/whatever the fuck they’re on now I don’t know anymore music videos and Vine compilations. Bronwyn is here for quality control. (Bronwyn’s favorite YouTube series is Rosanna Pansino’s Nerdy Nummies series, even though she has no idea what any of the references are. What she does know is that she showed Jacob the Angry Birds cupcakes and he demanded they be made that exact day.)

Hugh is fascinated by all this but has little to no idea what’s going on. He did however get very invested in Sanders Sides and is very impatiently waiting with me for Orange to be revealed.

Fiona also doesn’t know what’s going on but she thinks Warrior Cats AMVs and multi-animator projects are INSANE she loves them and gets very sad when Noor is helping her look them up and they find out yet another creator is problematic

[gilly-moon]

PERCY JACKSON TV SHOW REVIEW

(SPOILER ALERT! I Did Not Like It)

It has been 16 long years since I first picked up The Lightning Thief, and once again...I am faced with an adaption of one of my favorite books that is so painfully disappointing. And now that the tv show is completely out, it's time to purge the collection of thoughts I compiled on it:

Starting on one of the (few) positives, the cast was incredible. I know for a FACT that they are all wonderfully talented individuals, and I aim all of my gripes with their acting at the directors and writers.

So much telling. So little showing. Stop explaining the plot and the mythology to me. SHOW it to me. Explain later only when necessary.

And yet, some things weren't explained at all! I know, as someone who read the books, what blue food means to Sally and Percy. But the show never explains its significance. To the unknowing watcher, it's just a weird quirk, not a small rebellion between a woman and her kid against the life they're stuck in. It baffles me what the writers chose to over explain versus under explain. There's no clear reason for either behavior, and it permeates the writing in a bad way.

There's also a lot of the kids just being dragged from point A to point B by an outside force, rather than their own actions. They never really felt alone or even in danger on their quest, because gods kept showing up to help them along. I did not like that.

These kids aren't allowed to be kids. I stg you could make them teens or young adults and the dialogue/their actions would be the same. That's not good.

Why do they always have all of the information!!!?? They immediately know it's Medusa. Echidna introduces herself and they immediately know who she is and that it's a Chimera in her bag. They immediately know what the Lotus casino is. Why? It makes the stakes feel so low, rather than the mad dash scramble in the books that happens a lot when characters have to remember the myths and how to beat a monster mid-fight. And it makes all these scenarios so boring!!!

Also so many of the fight/chase scenes were boring or anticlimactic. The only good ones I can think of were in the first two episodes, and then one with Ares. Someone actually slipped in some good choreo in those few fights, but completely forgot to add it in to....the rest of the show....

There's very little about the show that feels magical. CG is used, obviously, but at times it feels like they should've gone further with it, or used it even more, and they just....didn't. The visuals end up feeling clunky and not very cohesive, with zero whimsy. Hate to make this comparison, but the Harry Potter movies were VERY good at showing the lines between the magical world and the muggle world, and the tension that occurs when the two interact. There is....none of that in the PJO series. Zip. Zero. And the mythological CG that is there is more often than not static or boring.

Break for a positive! I actually really liked that Percy was learning mythology from Mythomagic. The show wasn't really consistent on that point - saying it was his mom instead most of the time - but that was such a fun and clever way to work in the card game and make it plot-relevant. As someone with ADHD, I can confirm I would also learn mythology WAY better if it was for my favorite game.

Ok back to the negatives - Wtf is up with the portrayal of the gods? For one, they're boring to look at. Nothing about their designs makes them feel 'godly' and while that's ok with some gods (Hermes for one, tho I have issues with his weird beige sweat suit look) why is Ares just some regular ass biker dude? Where are the flaming eyes?? And radical skin-leather bike?? He couldn't even have a CUSTOM bike with red bloody paint and boar heads and chain link handles or something???

And the gods are way too fucking nice. Sorry. I don't have an issue with Hermes being nice but. Ares having a heart-to-heart with Grover? When his presence is supposed to stir everyone up into a rage? And Hephaestus sees Annabeth refuse to give up on her friend and just goes 'awww, ok, you and Percy can go, and take my rival's shield back to him too cause I'm just so nice.' Sorry, no. I'm fine with gods being helpful - Hephaestus helps (reluctantly) in the later books. But it was at a price! A favor for a favor! Not a 'get out of jail free' card just because he was moved by normal ass human compassion!!

Hades gets his own bullet point because who the fuck was that. As a child of Hades, I'm offended that this sweet fruity guy just wanders up and goes 'hey, how's it going, wanna snack?' like, that is NOT my dad. My dad had skeleton soldiers filling his halls and a garden of jewels and a voice so loud it rattled the whole Underworld. Whoever that was in the show was a pathetic imitation.

The point of the first series is to work up to Percy throwing it in the gods' faces how awful and neglectful they've been of demigods and specifically their own children. Demanding that they do better. But if they're already showing compassion and 'humanity' in the context of the first book/first season of the tv show....Percy starts running out of ammo against the gods. There's no coherent story progression where Percy spends years seeing the worst of the gods and the best of them at very distinct, important times of his life and his story. It no longer feels like a massive change they have to make in the system, something that deserves a godly favor for Percy to demand of them. Luke no longer feels like his fury at the gods is wholly justified. The whole series begins to crumble because the gods already have a good reason for being how they are, rather than being thoroughly selfish assholes who only dote on demigods when they do something really cool. And the exceptions are presented at intelligent moments that prove to Percy when he most needs it that the gods can be better, they just need a forceful push to get there.

That being said, where was Percy getting the info that the other gods were feeling scared and abused by Zeus? I love the balls on this kid, but like...when did he make these assumptions and why? That whole scene felt really unearned.

Also Olympus was BORING. And EMPTY. And DARK. It looked like we were just back in the Underworld. Which. The Underworld was fucking boring too. Some neat visuals, sure, but put that in some high fantasy show. Not this one.

One last positive before my final point - there were some pretty good jokes scattered around. Not nearly enough, but I did really enjoy the Dionysus introduction and a handful of lines from Percy. Also releasing the animals in Vegas - Grover being like 'oh, you were worried about the humans' got me good.

The final word that kept spinning through my head after finishing episode 8 was: Pathetic. Luke's betrayal was pathetic. No deadly scorpion. No commitment to that period of time in the books we were convinced he really was evil. And Gabe just stumbling on the package with Medusa's head in it? PATHETIC. Percy outright asked his mom if she was being abused in the book, and she took fate into her own hands to statue-ify that bastard. But no. The show was through-and-through just a pathetic, watered-down version of an incredibly fun, emotional, brutal, exciting series of books. I know there was a lot of heart behind this production, but I did not feel it at all. But what else should I have expected from modern Disney?

[zepskies]

Never Say Goodbye - Bonus Track #2

Pairing: Dean x Female Reader 

Summary: The first time you and Dean sensed each other’s thoughts and feelings, you were just kids. It would take years to realize that you both were bonded for life, and even longer to finally meet. [Soulmate AU] (18+)

AN: Did I say two parts? I meant three lol. (It got too long, I’m sorry.) 

Word Count: 4,300 Tags/Warnings: Angst, supernatural shenanigans, death…

Bonus Track #2: One Last Hunt

“Okay, try not to panic,” Sam said. Dean had him on the phone while he sped through town in the Impala. 

“I’m coming now, but I won’t get there for a few hours,” Sam said. “My flight leaves in 20 minutes.”

“Thanks, man, but I can’t afford to wait,” Dean said. “She fucking disappeared. I don’t see her anywhere…I’m gonna have to start at her job. That’s where she first took off from.”

“How did she seem this morning?”

“Fine, I guess. I left before she woke up,” Dean said. He still felt guilty about the fact that he didn’t bother waking you up to say goodbye. 

“Okay, yeah, start at the museum,” Sam said. “Let me know what you find, and I’d loop in Bobby. Probably Jack too.”

“Bobby’s meeting me there…but we don’t need to bring in Jack yet.”

“Dean, he’s her dad—”

“This isn’t his thing. It’s ours,” Dean said firmly. “If it’s a demon, I’m gonna find her and exorcize that son of a bitch.”

Sure enough, Bobby met Dean at the museum where you worked. The old man was worried, Dean could tell, even if he wouldn’t say it. But he knew the drill: now they had a job to do.

“I’ll go in first, flash my badge,” Dean said. “Meet me in the library.”

“Roger that,” Bobby agreed. 

Dean had a decent rapport with your boss, Jerry. When he explained that you were actually missing, Jerry was concerned for your wellbeing instead of irate that you’d taken a very valuable book from the museum. 

It gave Dean a theory to lie about on the fly: that you’d been mugged and taken hostage, presumably by someone who might’ve wanted to steal the ancient text. 

“How ancient are we talking exactly?” Dean asked.

Jerry gave him a look. “Ancient Egypt.”

He showed you the inventory log on the new shipment you were supposed to compile into the system. The title missing from the rest was called The Eye of Ra. 

“All right. Thanks, Jerry,” Dean said. “Anything else you can tell me about this book?”

“It’s a recording of the great deeds of the Ancient Egyptian gods and goddesses,” Jerry explained. “It was said to be touched by Ra himself.”

Touched by Ra, Dean mused. Ain’t that just fucking swell. 

Whatever happened to you, Dean knew it was because you touched that book.

For the next few hours, Dean and Bobby worked together on deeper research in the library. Now that they had a starting point, Bobby was able to find some intel. 

“The Eye of Ra was actually a nickname,” he said, earning Dean’s attention. “For Sekhmet, their goddess of war.”

Dean’s brows furrowed at that. “Why’s it never the goddess of peace and fucking tranquility?”

“Among other things, she was the daughter of Ra,” Bobby said, raising a wry brow. “And she was known as the bringer of plagues and death…and sometimes healing. Go figure.”

Fucking hell, Dean thought sourly. This was getting worse by the minute. 

“Okay, what does this have to do with the book?” he asked. Though he had some idea.

“Well, she ain’t been alive in a millennium. But she had a husband. The god Ptah, a craftsman,” Bobby said. “According to this, when he was eventually killed, she sealed her soul away until she could find a way to rescue him from the underworld…I’ve gotta think she sealed it in that book.”

Dean sighed, rubbing the now aching spot between his brows. An ancient Egyptian goddess was most likely possessing his fiancé. 

And it was much worse than it sounded on paper.

“Okay, which means she’ll be looking for a way to bring back her husband,” he said. “So how do we find her?” 

Just then, the police radio buckled to Dean’s belt sounded off. When he listened closely, his eyes grew wide. It was a report of five murders committed at a nearby gas station. 

Dean pulled up to the local 7-Eleven. Bobby was on the way, but he’d been caught up in traffic while Dean was allowed to use his police siren to his advantage. 

He then used his badge clearance to get behind the yellow tape and over to Jack, who was still on duty. 

Dean stepped inside the gas station and surveyed the brutal scene: the nice old man who owned the place, plus four patrons were lying dead. 

Their skin was covered with boils.

Jack wore a disconcerted frown along with his crossed arms in his police jacket. 

“It’s almost…biblical,” he remarked. 

Dean knew just how right he was. Jack seemed to know that too when he glanced over.

“Is this your kind of thing?” he asked. 

Dean nodded. “I might know what’s going on here. Let’s check the security footage…but no one else can see it but you and me.”

Jack nodded, leading Dean to the back of the store. Jack was shocked by what he found in the footage. Dean watched grimly, but not surprised as you came into the frame. You tilted your head at the owner, who seemed to ask you something. 

You raised a hand, and with a flare of magic, everyone in the station was cowering and screaming as a plague of boils covered their bodies, and eventually ended their lives. 

“Christ,” Jack gasped. “What the hell—”

“It’s not her,” Dean told him. “She’s being possessed. I’ll handle this, Jack. Just make sure this footage gets buried, along with whatever prints she might’ve left behind.”

Jack barely had time to agree. As if that kind of thing was so easy. He called after Dean as he took off out of the station. 

Dean didn’t see Bobby yet when he got outside, but he didn’t have time to wait. 

However, he did spot someone familiar hanging out in front of the department store across the street. Dean jogged across and raised a hand to flag down Jessie Deluca. 

The kid was gnawing on what looked like a melting Butterfinger. He groaned in annoyance when he saw Dean coming.

“Not you again,” he muttered.

“Yeah, me again,” Dean said. “You been standing out here long?”

“Look, grandpa. I’m just chillin’ here,” the kid sassed. It sparked Dean’s irritation, as well as his impatience.

“I don’t give two shits if you’re contemplating the great Butterfinger Heist of 2008, all right?” Dean pointed back to the gas station. “You see that?”

Jessie’s expression faded from some of its assholeness, becoming more solemn. “Yeah, I heard someone died or something.”

“That’s right,” Dean nodded. “Did you see anyone walk out of the station?”

“No,” Jessie said. But Dean could tell it was a reflex, not the truth. 

“Listen, Jessie. I need your help,” he said, more earnestly. “I’m trying to find someone. So if you know anything, I need you to tell me right now. Please.” 

Dean stared down in the kid’s brown eyes. Eventually, Jessie relented. 

“When I came out of the store here, I saw some business lady walk out. I think, after it had all just gone down,” Jessie confessed. “She looked fine.”

Dean sighed and nodded. “Okay. What’d she look like?”

“Uh…black skirt. Great legs,” Jessie said, his lips curving a little. Dean raised a brow. 

“Anything else?” he asked wryly. 

“White blouse, heels…actually, she kinda looked familiar,” Jessie added as he thought harder about it. 

“Good. Now tell me what direction she went in,” Dean said. Jessie nodded and pointed him down the street. 

“I think she went down there. I saw her turn the corner.”

“Where? What street?” 

“Dude, I don’t know!”

“Then show me,” Dean insisted. He grabbed Jessie by the shoulder and guided him forward. The kid looked annoyed, but he begrudgingly agreed to lead him down the street. The two of them walked brusquely, with Jessie trying to match Dean’s longer strides. 

Dean glanced over at his companion, who was still working on his Butterfinger. 

“When’s the last time you ate something that wasn’t covered in chocolate?” he asked. Jessie didn’t look at him when he shrugged. His winter jacket hung off his skinny shoulders, making him look ten rather than thirteen. Dean’s heart twinged.

“Listen, next time you’re itching to knock over a department store for KitKats, come by the station,” Dean said. “Find me or my partner Jody Mills. Or even my boss, Jack. We’ll get you a burger or something.”

Jessie briefly looked up at him, but all too soon, his gaze returned to the ground. 

“What do you care?” he said. 

“Maybe I know something about having to fend for yourself,” said Dean. “Sometimes going hungry, not knowing when somebody’s gonna come back for you.”

Jessie’s jaw clenched. He didn’t answer, but Dean hoped he’d gotten through to him.

Jessie led him around the corner at the street he thought he saw you turn down. He and Dean didn’t have to walk too much farther before he found you through the window of a bakery, of all things. 

“What the hell?” Dean muttered.

He pulled Jessie to the wall by the window for safety, but both of them snuck a peek inside. 

You were once again wielding magic to spread a plague of boils across an entire room of screaming, agonized patrons just trying to get their donuts and cream pies. 

Jessie started to utter a cry of alarm, but Dean quickly covered the kid’s mouth with his hand and pulled him back to his side. Dean waited, stock still, until the screaming inside the bakery subsided.

He looked down at Jessie and raised a finger to his lips. Though he was scared, Jessie nodded. Dean led him around the corner into an alley beside the bakery.  

“What…the fuck was that?” Jessie hissed. 

“Keep your voice down,” Dean warned. 

Then suddenly, it donned on the kid as he looked up at Dean. “Oh, shit. That’s your freakin’ girlfriend.”

Dean let out a sharp sigh. “It’s not her…exactly.”

He knew Jessie didn’t understand. Dean sighed again and grasped Jessie’s shoulders. 

“Look, you’re right to be scared. There’s something evil in there…that’s why I’ve gotta save her,” he said. “Now you, you’re gonna run. And don’t look back until you’re home, got it?”

After a moment, Jessie nodded shakily. Dean nodded back, patting him firmly on his shoulders. 

“Good man,” he said. “Okay, scram.”

Jessie seemed reluctant, like he felt some type of way about leaving Dean behind. But at Dean’s encouraging look, Jessie took off running. Dean hoped he headed straight home.

Then, rolling his shoulders, Dean braced himself. He drew his gun, which was filled with silver bullets. He didn’t think it would work on an Egyptian goddess, nor did he want to pull a gun on you. But for the threat of it alone, he would have to draw it with the safety on. 

He entered the bakery, where you were perusing the selections with a dispassionate look. All around you was death. 

But you perked up when Dean entered, eyeing him curiously in recognition. 

“Feelin’ a snack?” he asked. 

“I have been asleep for a very long time,” you replied, holding up a pastry. “What is this confection?”

“Cherry Danish,” Dean supplied. “You’re Sekhmet, right?” 

Your lips twitched. “You know of me?”

“I do now,” he said, carefully stepping further into the bakery with his gun pointed down, avoiding stepping on the bodies. He noticed the book you left closed on the counter. The goddess saw him noticing. Her gaze cut to him in amusement.

“Why’d you kill these people?” Dean asked. “Didn’t bow down at the right angle?”

“Among all of my brothers and sisters, I alone was favored by my father,” she said, “because my job was to balance the world, between life and the afterlife.”

Sekhmet brushed her fingers against a glass case, and with a small spark of magic, the glass cracked into thousands of fractals, but didn’t shatter. 

“And I did exceedingly well at this,” she said. “Though I see that my work has been undone. This world is rife with imbalance.”

“Mass genocide. Nice,” Dean quipped. “But that’s not all you want, is it?”

Sekhmet’s head tilted at him with reluctant interest. 

“I heard you’re looking for your husband, who went an offed himself,” he added. 

The goddess’s lips pursed and she slapped a hand on the glass counter, making it shatter. Dean turned and shielded his eyes with his arm. By the time he recovered, Sekhmet was coming around the counter. He took a few cautious steps in the opposite direction.

“My husband was unjustly slain by the very people who once worshipped us in droves,” she said, her tone exacting and harsh. Her eyes, however, were heavy with fury and pain. 

“He was an artist. A creator in purest form…his talents were wasted on this abomination of a world,” she said, with disgust at her surroundings. But as soon as her anger came, it diffused into exasperation. 

She picked up a glazed donut and took a bite, crossing her arms. She hummed in delight, making Dean’s brows raise. 

“Well, I can help you find him,” Dean said. It was a bluff, to be sure, but it still earned Sekhmet’s attention.

“Can you?” she asked in amusement. She didn’t believe him. Yet. But she drew closer to Dean, tilting her head just so. All the while, Dean inched towards the far end of the counter where The Eye of Ra had fallen to the ground. 

“And after, you let my girl go,” he said.

“You know of a way to reach the Underworld?” Sekhmet’s gaze roamed over him in disdain. “Unlikely.”

“Well, I’d call it a gate to Hell. But same difference, right?” Dean quipped.

The second he tried to reach down for the book, however, Sekhmet pinned him in place with a vibrant amber coil of magic. Dean grunted as she forced him to the ground, onto his knees between the bodies of a young man and woman, likely a couple. 

The goddess stopped in front of him, looking down at his face with interest. 

“Dean Winchester, as you are called. I understand why you continue to display such reckless judgment, all but throwing your very life at my feet,” she said. Her lips curved knowingly. “I hold your lover, correct?”

She harshly grabbed his cheek in her hand, and Dean glared in response. She seemed to ponder something as she considered him.

“Soon to be your wife,” she realized.

And Dean had a feeling she was in your head, sorting through your thoughts and memories like any demon would. He didn’t know what was worse: the thought of you being awake in there, unable to fight this bitch’s hold, or if Sekhmet had completely taken over your body and shut you away. 

“Just let her go,” Dean said, almost pleading. “You can have me. I won’t even fight you.”

“Such self-sacrifice,” she said. “The only noble act humans are capable of.”

Before she could decide whether to kill him, or keep him for further amusement, the front door of the bakery swung open.

Bobby came in first, followed closely by Sam and Eileen. 

Bobby was holding a damn crossbow, which he aimed and shot off at Sekhmet. It was a warning shot, just grazing her shoulder. But it burned her with a sting of flesh that made her hiss in pain. She glared up at Bobby, and after grabbing the book before Sam could, she disappeared in a whirlwind of magic.

The coil holding Dean in place shattered, allowing Dean to catch his break and get to his feet, with Sam’s help. Dean had to admit, it was good to see his brother. 

“You okay?” Sam asked. Dean reached over and pat the other man’s shoulder. 

“I’m good,” he said, though with a sigh that belied his weariness. “Hey, Eileen. Thanks for making it to the party.”

The pretty brunette offered him a sympathetic smile, rubbing his arm. “We came as soon as we could.”  

Dean nodded and turned to Bobby, who still held his crossbow. He wasn’t happy about the old man shooting at you, but he recognized that it had saved his life.

“Why’d that thing hurt her?” he asked. 

“The arrow’s dipped in a potent mix of salt from the Dead Sea…and Egyptian wine, among other things,” Bobby replied. 

Dean frowned in confusion. “Why the fuck?”

“According to the lore, Sekhmet could be subdued with alcohol,” Sam explained. 

“Great, we’ll just get her drunk and all our problems will be solved,” Dean quipped dryly. He grabbed the radio from his belt. His gaze returned to the dead bodies on the floor with dismay. 

“I’ve gotta call this in. Bobby, get the security tapes.”

After Dean finished calling in the deaths to his precinct, he shared a disheartened look with Sam, who grasped his shoulder in support.

“We’re gonna find her, all right?”

They regrouped at Bobby’s house once Jack took over at the bakery. Now the three men and Eileen were congregated in the living room, trying to decide on their next move. 

“You told her about the Hell gate?!” Sam said incredulously. 

“Damn it, Dean!” Bobby slapped the coffee table in exasperation. 

“All right, lay off! I was improvising under fucking duress,” Dean snapped. “At least we know where she’ll probably go next, assuming she finds out where the gate is.”

“She’s a goddess, Dean. One of the oldest and most powerful in ancient history. I’m sure she can figure it out,” Sam said, rubbing at his tired eyes.

And, as Dean remembered, Sekhmet was rooting around in your head. She’d find the gate for sure.

Eileen looked between the brothers, clearly worried. Sam had told her about what you, him, and Dean had gone through to close that damn gate to Hell last year. 

“So how do we stop her?” Dean asked. Without hurting you, was implicit. Bobby heaved a sigh.

“We gotta burn that damn book,” Bobby said. “But we’ll need to be smart about it.”

So that was how the four of them ended up driving to southern Wyoming. They stopped along the crossroads by the train tracks, and ventured in on foot into the very clearing where their final battle against Yellow Eyes took place.

Dean thought he’d be able to put his past behind him, but the universe clearly liked to kick him in the balls.

Evidence of this came when he saw you standing at Samuel Colt’s gravestone. Or rather, the goddess Sekhmet. 

She was expending large forces of magic to try and open up the gate to Hell. The book that bound her soul lied on top of a nearby headstone.

Dean gestured for Sam, Eileen, and Bobby to hang back and fan out, while he stalked forward. He’d changed out of his police uniform in favor of his familiar jeans, shirt, and a red plaid shirt, hoping that at least would help you focus on him, wherever you were deep inside your mind. 

But he called out to Sekhmet from a (relatively) safe distance away. 

“Are you stupid or something?” he mocked. 

Sekhmet paused in her magic wielding. She craned her head over her shoulder at him in annoyance, with amber rings illuminating her eyes. 

“There’s only one thing that can open up that gate, and I’ve got it right here,” said Dean. 

He pulled out the Colt from behind his back. 

Sekhmet’s gaze narrowed on the gun, then at Dean with a slow smirk.

“Why, by the gods, should I trust your foolishness?” she asked. 

“Because we’re about to make a trade,” Dean said. “The gun for my girl. You let her go, or you’ll never see your husband again. In this world, or the next.”

Dean pointed the gun at her and cocked the safety back. She didn’t have to know the barrel was empty. 

“You cannot harm me, even if there was ammunition in that weapon,” Sekhmet replied knowingly. 

She turned to him and reached out with a magic-fueled hand, but before she could grab Dean, Sam shot his own gun. 

It deployed a net of rope that twined around her frame and held her in place. It was soaked with the same concoction Bobby shot her with in the bakery, and it made her fume with outrage.

It didn’t completely weaken her though. Her hands were still free to fling Sam and Bobby away from her with magic. 

She then turned to grip Eileen, who was nearly able to steal the book. And the goddess sent Eileen across the clearing, breaking a headstone as she fell. 

Sam had been trying to pick himself up from the ground, but he gripped at his chest, feeling his soulmate’s pain. He scrambled over to her prone form on the ground and checked the cut along her hairline. 

“Eileen,” Sam called, pressing his hand to her cheek. He had one eye on her, and another on his brother. 

Because meanwhile, Sekhmet had broken free of the ropes holding her captive with a cry of fury. 

Just in time to grab Dean by the throat when he tried to surprise her from behind. She forced him down to his knees and smirked in satisfaction as Dean struggled against her hold.

He called your name, trying to reach you through the goddess’s hold on your mind.

“She is gone from this world,” Sekhmet taunted. “This is but a vessel for my eternal soul.”

“I don’t fucking believe that,” Dean choked. “If she was gone, I’d know it. Deep in my bones I’d know it.”

Her mouth twitched, but she seemed to enjoy the idea of slowly choking him to death. Or maybe, something was holding her back. Dean could only hope it was you, trying to break through. 

He looked into your eyes and tried to find you through the cold disdain of a goddess.

“Whatever happens, I’m not letting go,” he gritted out. He held tight to your wrist, on the hand wrapped around his throat. 

“I love you, you know that?” he said. “From the start…you closed the door in my face when I tried to kiss you. Teased me. Never took my shit. But you never left me either. No matter how hard it fucking got, you kept my feet on the ground. You never called it quits…‘cause we never say goodbye. Right, baby?”

Slowly, slowly, Sekhmet’s hard exterior faded. The amber rings of magic receded from your eyes, and the woman he loved was there again, softening your face into shock and horror. 

You released your grip on Dean. He stumbled to the ground as he coughed and gasped for precious oxygen. 

He straightened enough to grab your hand. You reached out for him instinctively. 

“Dean,” you said with shaking effort.

“I’ve gotcha, sweetheart,” he said. He turned back to see his brother helping Eileen to her feet. “Sam, the damn book!” 

Sam snapped to attention and quickly looked for The Eye of Ra. It had been knocked over from the headstone onto the ground. He grabbed it and fished out a lighter from his pocket.

Dean’s attention turned back to you when you squeezed his hands.

“I can’t hold her for long,” you said tremulously. Your whole body was shaking. “She’s so damn strong…”

“It’s okay, we’re gonna fix this,” Dean said, brushing your hair back from your face. 

You closed your eyes and gasped. But when you opened them once again, they were hard, and glowing with magic. 

Sekhmet tossed Sam away from the headstone. 

Dean tried to hold her back, but she backhanded him hard. Sekhmet followed where he fell. She reached out and gripped him by the neck again, this time choking him with a vengeance. 

But then she gasped, as if in pain. She turned her head and found Sam with the book in one hand, and a lit match in the other. As the book started to burn, Sekhmet weakened. 

Dean caught her before your body could hit the ground. 

Sekhmet released a shaking breath; she gazed into the dimming sky, painted in its golden, amber hues, and knew that her soul was dying. Hot tears slipped down her cheeks. 

Dean almost felt sorry for her. Or maybe it was the sight of your pained, weeping face that tugged at his heartstrings.

“You’ll just have to join your husband this time,” he said.

Sekhmet’s lips trembled, but she nodded. “This world was never made for us…but we shall soon be together for all eternity.”

She looked up at him with a rueful smile. 

“You understand,” she said. “A soul bond can never be destroyed.”

And with that, the haze of magic drained from your eyes as your body went limp. 

Dean’s brows furrowed with worry as he called your name. Behind him, Sam helped Eileen draw near with a limping Bobby. All three watched with worry at Dean’s side…until your eyes opened, revealing their natural hue. 

You took in a tremulous breath. “Dean.”

His eyes burned with emotion, but he closed them as he held you tight. All he could do was press his lips against your forehead in relief. 

You clung to him right back, for as long as you needed to. 

AN: Fun fact — According to Egyptian mythology, the only thing that could stop the goddess Sekhmet from ending humanity with bloodshed was by getting her drunk on beer, which had been dyed red to simulate blood (which she also liked to drink, apparently). 

Egyptians (the survivors) would drink beer mixed with pomegranate juice and get drunk to celebrate not being killed dead. (Woo!)

Anyway, let me know if you enjoyed Part 2! All the fluff is coming in the finale of Part 3, very soon…

Next Time:

Dean brings you home. The two of you figure out how to move on from here...

Keep Reading: Bonus Track #3

Series Masterlist

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Tag List:

@curlycarley @buckywenal24 @jamerlynn @iprobablyshipit91 @globetrotter28 @deamus-liv @irgendwas122 @deans-spinster-witch @dogbarkbark4445 @my-proof-is-you @vera0124 @deans-baby-momma @lacilou @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @theonlymaninthesky @spnexploration @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @imagineteller1 @icequeen1371 @tiredqueen73 @bitchwitch1981 @abbigaleelizabeth @ohgodthebogisback @where-the-river-bends @loveprof6 @shadowcrowsworld @thespnlover @this-is-me19 @stevenknightmarc @leigh70 @pallographsunspot @syrma-sensei @brain-has-left @jassackles @hobby27 @ashbatz @zaratahir @lokisnumber1whore @saranghaey @jori21 @lillyrob @adoringanakin @agirlwithdemonblood @mimaria420 @nephil-with-a-gun @writethrough @iamsapphine @frogindisguise

[sasukeless]

ANY fic please or your favorites idc, but preferably canon compliant i only read modern aus when i absolutely have to

mmm okay i’m dropping the ones i can name at the top of my mind that have struck with me because i have no good memory sorry

Swallow Whole

cannibalism!! but not really. anyways this author has looked inside my mind i swear, they understand my thoughts with naruto cannibalism like no one else

Of Fire, Water, and Glass

this is an au sorry again. but yeah love some religious god worship themes what can i say? i’m basic like that. but this one is really good, one of those that makes you wish it was multi-chaptered

The Earth Doesn’t Move

i mean canon compilant i guess? but sasuke comes back and is a ninja of konoha again so not really? anyway i like this one, it’s very domestic and their dynamic really heartfelt

Clarity

canon divergence (SORRYYY). idk something about this fic has stay with me since i first read it. maybe because the author manages to encapsulate naruto’s (and sasuke’s) insanity in a way many others can’t or simply ignore

The Psychology of Making Mistakes

not much to say i just read it early today and it was really cute. they are so sillyy

The Way Life Is

canon divergence as well… and fucked up concept if you ask me where naruto kills itachi first which made for an interesting read

[fazfacts]

THINGS I HAVE SAID WHILE PLAYING HW2

a compilation of quotes from myself & my friends have said as i played fnaf hw2 for the first time. also some motions + gestures i keep doing in-game. feel free to change as needed!

QUOTES:

❝ I finally feel like I have a dad... ❞

❝ I am TRYING to hit a baby. ❞

❝ Y'all are like real customers. You're never fucking satisfied. ❞

❝ I swear to God I got [their] order right! ❞

❝ I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED YOUR MAKE-UP. ❞

❝ What do you WANT from me?? ❞

❝ OH GOD, I'M SO SORRY. ❞

❝ I thought their name was pronounced "[___]" until somebody called them "[___]." I'm still confused. ❞

❝ You go, queen. Get that pizza!!! ❞

❝ DON'T HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM, THAT MAKES ME SAD! ❞

❝ Look at this! This is so pretty! ❞

❝ I can see the lobby from here! ❞

❝ I SEE YOU, BITCH. ❞

❝ [THEIR] EYES ARE GORGEOUS... ❞

❝ I'M IN LOVE. ❞

❝ Do you want a widdle kissy for your boo-boos? ❞

❝ OH GOD, STOP SCREAMING. ❞

❝ SHHHHHH. Shhhhhhh. ❞

❝ Do you know how hard it is to focus for that long? ❞

❝ Are you proud of me, [father]? ❞

❝ What am I gonna do? My [dad] still doesn't believe in me! ❞

❝ YAAAAY! ❞

❝ WAS THAT A TRANSFORMERS REFERENCE? IN GOD'S YEAR OF 2023? ❞

❝ OH MY GOD, IT'S VOLTRON. ❞

❝ Ew. ❞

❝ Why is there MOLD on everything??? ❞

❝ I, like science, am a liar sometimes. ❞

❝ Why'd you do that? ❞

❝ I wanted to hear [them] gaslight gatekeep girlboss me... ❞

❝ Don't do that!!! ❞

❝ Oh God, WHY are they doing that??? ❞

❝ STOP STANDING SO CLOSE TO ME. ❞

❝ I wish I could give you a thumbs-up. ❞

❝ My [dad] is disappointed in me...just like in real life. ❞

❝ Can I high-five you? ❞

❝ My chakra is clouded and unfocused...yeah, that tracks.❞

❝ I like that those aren't even tarot cards. ❞

❝ OH MY GOD! THAT'S MY GORL! ❞

❝ I don't know what reality is anymore... ❞

❝ Look! I found lore! ❞

❝ This takes, like, two seconds. ❞

❝ Wanna see a secret? ❞

❝ Haha, don't say that ever again. ❞

❝ It's gettin' hot in here, so take off both your arms... ❞

❝ GO AWAY, I'M FIXING SHIT. ❞

❝ I hate [___]...but I love the way they move. ❞

❝ I'm so sorry, [___]. I have the memory of a goldfish. ❞

❝ YEEHAW! ❞

❝ I'M WORKIN' HERE. ❞

❝ I know you can't tell, but I'm fingergunning you. ❞

❝ Please don't "Bite of '87" me this time. ❞

❝ I feel like I'm playing a worse version of Wii Sports. ❞

❝ CRUSH THEM CRUSH THEM CRUSH THEM! ❞

❝ I swear I'm better at [___] in real life. ❞

❝ Oh yeah! I have TWO hands! ❞

❝ If only I could use my left hand... ❞

❝ I think my blind, aimless shooting just saved my life. ❞

❝ I suddenly feel like I have reflexes. ❞

❝ Is lime sour?? ❞

(singing) ❝ My parents don't love me... ❞

❝ No, THAT song goes like "ba bum bum-bum da-nah." ❞

❝ Oh. I guess they are the same song. ❞

❝ You eat GARBAGE. You have no right to be this picky. ❞

❝ They don't like my art... ❞

❝ NOOOO! WHAT'D YOU DO TO [THEM]!? ❞

ACTIONS:

send a corresponding number; reverse muses by adding something like "+ reverse." get funky with it.

for my muse to stare at their hands, existential crisis-style, in front of yours.

for my muse to recklessly shoot a firearm.

for my muse to ferociously shove a toy in their mouth.

for my muse to do a little dance.

for my muse to furiously wave "hi!" at yours.

for my muse to gently pet your muse's head.

[damnfandomproblems]

I've compiled several asks regarding Fandom Problem #5754 below:

Anon:

Going outside IS the problem. In fiction, one can pretend that most men aren't fucking terrible. When we step out the front door, we're instantly confronted by how unkind and awful they are.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anon:

In my experience, this is almost always drivel from people who are way too bombarded by certain kinds of posts on social media (you're right, they should go outside!). Many of the posts are somewhat insidious because at first glance, they seem to make cogent, obvious points about behaviour that most women need to constantly put up with from men who are socialized like dogs. Like that post by the terf that went "men are so annoying, they always say get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich! but what about men? YOU belong in the fields reaping the wheat!" and then the next post is, "i will as soon as you go to war and die". It's terfs all the way up the chain, but a lot of people instinctively think, "yes that's exactly how silly it is and how it feels!" and they get sucked in. Not a perfect example, but you can sort of see how that nonsense propagates.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anon:

I try not to get into the habit of doomscrolling blogs I block because it's a waste of time, but sometimes I get brain worms lol and just have to see how accurate my impression of someone and my justification of blocking them is. And can I just say for someone who says it's silly to believe that good men exist, implying all men are shit people by default, it's real weird that this is the second or third post I found during my brief doomscroll: "I bring a sort of "it's wrong to hate people based on how or where they were born" vibe to political discourse that apparently right wingers and left wingers both don't really like" So which is it?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anon:

Jeeze, according to the logic of one of the commenters; even if a man pulled out all the stops to attend rallies, be an activist, called out misogyny and systemic issues, and avoided contributing to as much patriarchal bullshit as possible, and made it his life's mission, it still wouldn't matter? And he would still be a "bad" man? Literally nothing is good enough for this commenter? That's all the evidence I need to throw away that take. Just say you're a radfem and be on your way.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anon:

responding to (well, about) the comment that says good men don't exist (lol)... It's WILD how emboldened and out-and-proud some man haters can be, just because they're behind a computer screen, and on a site like tumblr, where peoples' definition of acceptable "left" behavior is killing billionaires and wishing death on bigots. Sorry, but just because other people who are equally misguided are enabling your shitty reductive views, it doesn't mean everyone is going to. And thank GOD I'm seeing sanity in the comments. I'm a woman, I was AFAB, and fuck people who smear an entire gender and/or sex just because it overheats their brain a little too much to exercise nuance. Do you feel informed? Do you feel knowledgeable? Do you feel like you're making a difference? Good for you. With that attitude, you never will.

[volivolition]

ok so. just curious but omg what are your favourite Unus Annus moments/quotes?

We rewatch compilation vids of unus annus vids alllll the time because Fuck we miss it so much BFNDSNDNDJS and some that have gotten burnt into our head recently areee:

Like that Whole first video with the sex toys. but especially the part where a guy just shows up at Mark's door and they're in fucking bdsm gear and cat ears eating breakfast FHDJXJDJD

The video with them making a sensory deprivation tank. "Mark, what's the main ingredients in sensorary deprivation tanker?" lives rent free in our head tbh we quote that so much. Same with that bit where Ethan accidentally unplugs the tub lmao "WHere's the drain??" ".... By your feet." ".... What do I do with it :)?"

This one's like HARD to find in compilation vids but I swear at one point Ethan was doing something with a knife and Mark was like, verbatim, "If you cut me I bleed oooouuutttt :)!!!" And the AMOUNT OF TIMES WE QUOTE THAT ONE. IS SO MUCH AUSJSJSJSDJXJXJDJ

Other moments that live in our brain rent free include but r not limited to That time Ethan was singing Mark's songs in the car ("I don't gonna VOOOOOOOTE"), That time Ethan started singing fuckin Eminem out of nowhere, and the egg toss scene where Mark threatens to kill Ethan (THIS one we can find a video of easily here it is). Oh also that one bit where Ethan was fucking.... Just talking nonsense which narrows it down very little actually. but he was saying shit like "Have You Ever Been Bitten by a Frog? Have you ever been bitten by a Log? Have you ever been bitten by a Dog? Have you ever been bitten,,, By The Fog??" that scene fucking kills us FJFJDJDJFJD

-Anti/Tulip

HI HELLO!! (this is a month old im so sorry hkjh) I ALSO MISS IT HKJGH it was such a good concept, i love the meaningfulness of life and death behind the channel, contrasted with the silliest fuckin videos imaginable, i thought it was so fun?? let's try new things! let's be weird and wild EVERYDAY!! it doesn't need to be complex, we can just shoot the shit because theres still worth in the mundane moments, and our time on earth is limited anddd my god i think its so nice hgkjh <33

THE FIRST VIDEO IS SO FUCKING ICONIC HJHGKF to think of making breakfast with sex toys in the first place, the execution, the GUY WHO SHOWS UP AND THEIR FUCKING PANIC THATS SO FUNNY HKJHG

QUOTES YOU CAN HEAR AS YOU READ THEM KJHGG, "Mark, what's the main ingredient! In sepfruary desperation tanker :)" unplugging the tub like, Ethan oh no hkjhg… Ethan noooo…

i don't think i remember that one but my god hkjhg i will bleed ooooouuuttttt :)!!

I LOVE THE SINGING IT'S DEAR TO ME hkjg suddenly just "TOAST!" in the middle of the lyrics like HGKJH I DON'T THINK THATS RIGHT BUT I HAVENT DONE ENOUGH OF HEIST TO DISPUTE IT HKGJH

"knees weak, arms are heavy, mom's spaghetti... HES NERVOUS,,!!!!"

"I get to kill you now!! I'm going to kill you!! :)" HAKJSH THE THREATENING AURA...

I KNOW THAT LAST ETHAN QUOTE BUT I DONT REMEMBER FROM WHICH VIDEO HKJHG but i know the exact intonation he's saying it in hkjhg

personally enjoyed like, basically every time they sang, and also like. so many ethan moments hkjh i was an unus for real <33

i was still singing the disclaimer song for like, MONTHS after unus annus ended hkjh "Don't try this at home~ If you do you might dieee~!!" and the dance of italy still makes me laugh and the drive to camp with vocal warm ups were REALLY FUN, reminds me of my choir days <33 also "diggin my friend a grave~!! DIGGIN MY FRIEND A GRAVE~!!!!!!"

THE DRUM DATE DO YALL REMEMBER THE DRUM DATE?? theres a point where it actually sounds surprisingly good and im INCREDIBLY FOND OF THEM JAMMING OUT hfhj

this clip of ethan in the hot tub burbling is me whenever im in ANY water source ever hfjgj

im also fond of the real sensory deprivation tank experience, that was really fun getting to see the real deal compared to the. bathtub hkjhg

"Siri, call us daddy." "I couldn't find a father in your contacts" [TWIN LOOKS OF AGHAST SHOCK] FUCKGIJGN????? OH MY GOD... FUCK, MAN HGKJH

"a ski... skee... skipple... skiiiir... skirtle... skrittle... A SKITTLE!! no wait..." <- BIG FUCKIN MOOD HKGJH

i think the last video (other than the stream) that i rewatched from them was Ethan Teaches Gymnastics because i really do love just Ethan showing off all the moves he knows. COMPETENT GYMNAST!! THE BACKFLIP GUY HKJGH <333 the part where ethan talks about having to see how many fingers his instructor was holding up and mark flipping him off was really funny to me hgkjh that video holds a place in my heart hkjgh

ohhh theres probably so much more but these are what i remember hkjh <33 thank you for asking this, and thank you for sharing your favorites too hehehe!!! :3 <33 <22 i love reminiscing about this, i miss this channel jhkjgh <333 memento mori!!! :D

[mrs-monaghan]

Hi! I love your blog and what you say, I had read so much of your answers to anons, so, what are in your op the reasons why jikook are probably dating - what made you believe in them? And in your op after the military service will they be even more braver in showing their affection? (P.s sorry if I made errors eng is not my first language sorry sorry)

I am African. English isn't my first or 2nd language so u get no judgement from me. 😁

Okay story time

I first discovered BTS in 2015. I was just perusing on YT when I came across Boy in luv and I thought RM was so fucking hot. I’m a sucker for a goodlooking man (who isn’t?) And Boy in luv RM was fire to me 😂😂

i tell that to my Jikook friends and they keep laughing at me but at the time he was, okay? I can hear you laughing. Shut up! He owned that song

He was hot. Leave me alone 😒

And I am obsessed with this hairstyle so there’s also that. (When Jikook had this undercut 🤤) Also I am again obsessed with dimples. My fiance, it’s his dimples that attracted me to him. I kid u not. He he hee...

Anyhu, BIL RM was hot to young me and so I was watching that MV like daily. Then YT recommended BST and I  thought Jimin was pretty but I didn’t really stick around much. I just downloaded BIL and went about my life. Then last year I was on my Tiktok and BTS were at an award show and I saw who I now know is V vibing to Idol in his chair. And I was like; I know them. I wonder how Mr. Dimples is doing 🤭

I also really liked that song because it sounded kinda African and I immediately latched onto the Nikki remix coz I’m a big fan. So I watched Idol and a few other songs and that’s all she wrote.

Now I’m on tumblr answering asks about Jikook.

He he hee... Like afore mentioned i am African and we are super homophobic. A man can marry 16 wives and that’s okay but God forbid two men of the same age date only eo. A person can be a serial killer but oh well, at least he wasn’t gay!

So, much like society, my mind is programmed to think everyone is straight unless they say otherwise. So I did not think that any member of BTS could be gay. Like at all. And when I got into them properly, I binged run bts, bon voyage and ITS and still saw nothing.

1) I was working with the mentality that they are all straight.

2)I am reading subtitles and trying to look at the one who is speaking. Aint no way I will notice shenanigans happening with other members that I’m not focused on.

Once I was done with their content I started watching compilations, and funny moments, etc. Mind you by this point I have forgotten about RM. Like I mentioned before I am a sucker for pretty men and Jimin is very pretty. Like abnormally pretty. Like, this motherfucker was glowing in a damn crowd how is this normal???

I don't think the fallen angel thing is a joke y'all. This man ain't normal 👀

RM may have brought me to BTS but it didn’t take long for the Jimin effect to hit me. So I was paying alot of attention to him. Which means when I didn’t have anymore official content to consume, (unbeknownst to me i had merely scratched the surface) I started looking for Jimin shit. And what happens when u stalk a specific member? Within no time u get a ship video. And that’s how I came across Yoonmin and boom! I was a Yoonminer. But I wouldn’t say I was that faithful to the ship because have you watched Jihope sexual tension videos? I’m sorry but they are 🔥🔥 completely out of context but still very well done. Also Jihope used to be the kings of fanservice so there is plenty of content.

I watched all Jimin ships and YouTube never once recommended me Jikook. Which is really weird. But then one day I saw “Jikook analysis" and it was by Mizgator and we all know how good and thorough she is. At first I was like; now what is a Jikook and why an analysis? But then Jimin was on the thumbnail so of course I clicked.

Mizgator made me believe in Jikook. I binge watched all her stuff and I couldn’t believe my eyes. And it was all so juicy and interesting I couldn’t stop. After I was done with her I looked for more and more and more until I had seen all Jikook analyses You tube had to show me.

That’s when I rewatched ITS and Bon Voyage with the eyes of a shipper and it was all there. I felt so dumb like; how did I not see it before?!

So sometimes I understand these antis and ot7 assholes. Because if you’re not looking for it, u certainly will not see it.

And its krazy because Jikook are like right in your face. The satellite/teleport thing is not even subtle. From both of them, not just JK.

Anyway, I joined a discord with like minded people who continued to point out things all the analyses I had watched didn’t pick up on. And I started noticing things too when rewatching everything. Its fun to rewatch stuff with a Jikook lense because they really are obvious guys. Its fascinating.

Anyway, all this is to say I am not like other people who say the following moments opened their eyes.

My eyes saw, but in my head they were straight so it was all nothing. Until I met Mizgator and my life has never been the same.

So,

What made you believe in them?

Mizgator

In your op after military service will they be even more braver in showing their affection?

Yes. I mention that here. And here. And then talk in depth (ish) about it here

What are in your op the reasons why Jikook are probably dating?

Anon this is a loaded question because it’s everything. Its the exclusive stuff they only do to/for eo. Its the 18+ moments. I mean especially the 18+ moments that have no hetero explanation whatsoever. It’s when Kjikookers tell us they defy what is usually the norm, culturally. It's how members react when they're Jikooking. It’s everything. Sometimes its hard to explain to an anti that we don’t believe in Jikook because of just one moment but because of so many things that when accumulated add to one big, humongous undeniable picture. U know?

Damn, this was a long answer but I hope you got what u came 4. Bless 🥰