#sorry i ended up venting about something else
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
hii can I request blue lock boys comforting their s/o thats on her period? (if your uncomfy w this than jst ignore it)
Thank you! 💕💕
YOU'RE MY COMFORT!
·˚ ༘ ꒱ summary when they comfort their s/o who's on her period
·˚ ༘ ꒱ characters isagi yoichi , bachira meguru , itoshi rin , nagi seishiro , mikage reo , chigiri hyoma , hiori yo , shidou ryusei , itoshi sae , michael kaiser , alexis ness
·˚ ༘ ꒱ warning fem!reader implied , lowercase intended
·˚ ༘ ꒱ a/n eeeek i took a kinda long hiatus after exams so sorry this was late- TT
·˚ ༘ ꒱ isagi yoichi
isagi would be so sweettttt. like he’s 100% the type to google how to make your girlfriend feel better on her period and then go overboard. he shows up at your door with snacks, a hot water bottle, and a look of absolute determination.
“babe, i got chocolate, tea, and this random teddy bear i found. will that help??”
he also tries to distract you with soccer highlights and ends up ranting about strategy while you just cuddle into him. lwk adorable.
"yoichi, i don’t need all this, i’m fine—"
"nope. it’s my job to make sure you’re 100% okay!"
"…you’re too much."
"too much in love with you? absolutely."
·˚ ༘ ꒱ bachira meguru
bachira treats your period like it’s an adventure. he calls it “battle week” and declares himself your knight in shining armor. he’s running around like a maniac, making you laugh so hard you forget the pain.
he also makes you random art to cheer you up. one time, he drew a stick figure comic of you fighting a “period dragon” with a sword made of chocolate. you almost cried laughing.
"meguru, what is this??"
"you slaying your period. literally."
"you’re so dumb… but i love it."
"mission accomplished!!!!! >:D "
·˚ ༘ ꒱ itoshi rin
rin is… awkward. but he triessss. when you first tell him, he just blinks and goes, "okay. what do you need?" and when you say “nothing,” he goes into silent problem-solving mode.
he might not say much, but he’ll keep you company, bring you your favorite drinks, and make sure you’re comfortable. he’s like a walking checklist. it’s so sweet how seriously he takes it.
"rin, you don’t have to—"
"you said you have a headache, so i’m staying until it stops."
"you’re so stubborn-"
"you’re welcome."
·˚ ༘ ꒱ nagi seishiro
nagi is… so chill. you tell him you’re on your period, and he’s like, "oh. okay. do you wanna nap?" because in his mind, that fixes everything.
but the second you actually need something? he’s ( surprisingly ) up and moving faster than you thought possible. he’ll even let you steal his hoodie and hog all the blankets.
"sei, can you pass me the—"
"already got it. now come back to bed."
"why are you so good at this???"
"because i'm used to this by now."
·˚ ༘ ꒱ mikage reo
reo treats it like a high-stakes situation. he buys you EVERYTHING—snacks, heating pads, your favorite drinks, and even a blanket that looks like a giant burrito.
“what else do you need? should i call a doctor? a masseuse? build you a pillow fort?”
he’s over the top ( *cough* more than usual *cough* ), but it’s so sweet you can’t even be mad.
"reo, you don’t need to do all this—"
"yes, i do. you’re in pain, and i don’t like it."
"you’re insane."
"insanely in love with you, yep."
·˚ ༘ ꒱ chigiri hyoma
chigiri is so calm and collected about it. he’s like, “i got this.” he makes you tea, rubs your back, and lets you vent about how annoying it all is.
he also takes you on peaceful walks or sits with you by the window, brushing your hair and talking about random things to keep your mind off the cramps. it’s giving romance movie vibes.
"hyoma, you’re like… weirdly good at this."
"i have a sister. i’ve trained for this moment."
"oh my god, of course you have."
·˚ ༘ ꒱ hiori yo
hiori is the gentlest bean. he’s like, “do you need anything? want me to get you soup? should we watch your favorite movie?” he’s so soft and accommodating, it’s almost ridiculous.
he also writes you little notes to cheer you up, like: “you’re stronger than cramps 💪 i believe in you!!”
"hiori, this note is so cheesy—"
"but did it make you smile?"
"…yeah, it did."
"then it worked. :D "
·˚ ༘ ꒱ shidou ryusei
shidou is chaotic as ever, but surprisingly… thoughtful? he shows up with junk food, a heating pad, and an attitude like, “let’s beat this period’s ass together.”
he’s also the type to jokingly pick a fight with your u t e r u s ( you read that right ), yelling things like: “how dare you hurt my girl?! square up, you coward!” it’s dumb, but it works.
"ryu, stop yelling at my uterus—"
"not until it apologizes."
"you’re so stupid."
"but you’re laughing, so i win."
·˚ ༘ ꒱ itoshi sae
sae is quietly attentive. he doesn’t say much, but he notices everything—like the way you hold your stomach or wince when you move. suddenly, you’ve got a hot water bottle and your favorite drink in your hand, no explanation needed.
he’ll sit with you in comfortable silence, scrolling on his phone until you’re ready to talk. it’s subtle, but you feel so cared for.
"sae, you didn’t have to get all this—"
"you’re in pain. of course i did."
"…thanks."
"don’t mention it."
·˚ ༘ ꒱ michael kaiser
kaiser is so dramatic about it. the second you tell him, he’s like, “mein gott, my poor love! what can i do?!” he acts like you're about to be taken from him.
but honestly? he’s surprisingly good at making you laugh and keeping your spirits up. he’ll even let you boss him around for the day.
"michael, stop being so dramatic—"
"i can’t help it! your pain is my pain!"
"you’re ridiculous."
"and you love me for it."
·˚ ༘ ꒱ alexis ness
ness is the sweetest little bean. he immediately offers to make you tea and snuggle on the couch with your favorite blanket. he’s like a human heater—so warm and comforting.
he also sends you texts like, “you’re doing amazing, sweetheart 💖 cramps don’t stand a chance against you!” pure angel.
"ness, you’re being so extra—"
"only because you deserve it!"
"you’re such a dork."
"your dork 🥰."
© txrully
copy/translate/plagiarize/repost my works in any way and i will be under your bed 🥰
likes + reblogs always appreciated <3
#isagi x reader#isagi yoichi#bachira x reader#bachira meguru#itoshi rin x reader#rin itoshi x reader#nagi seishiro x reader#nagi seishiro#reo mikage x reader#reo mikage#chigiri x reader#chigiri hyoma#hiori yo#hiori x reader#shidou x reader#shidou ryusei#itoshi sae#sae x reader#michael kaiser#kaiser x reader#alexis ness#ness x reader#💌 ⸝⸝ anon's ask ‹𝟹#🌷 ⸝⸝ sisi's inbox ‹𝟹#🌻 ⸝⸝ sisi's asks ‹𝟹#🩷⸝⸝ ʙʟʟᴋ ᴛʀᴇᴇ#bllk x reader#headcanon
160 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi, I’ve recently gotten into the WotR and Tudor eras and I’ve seen so much fatphobia surrounding Henry VIII, Elizabeth of York and Edward IV which has been so, so upsetting to read a out. Since you’ve spoken about this before and it’s been very refreshing and reassuring to read, I thought I’d send you this ask, I hope it’s okay.
For Henry VIII, his weight is directly linked to his morality and it’s so, so disgusting. The contrast between his golden handsome youth and tyrannical older years; the amount of articles I’ve seen solely dedicated to elaborating on just how fat he’d become when he died; and the inconsideration for his health – the amount of pus jokes I’ve seen are deeply uncomfortable. The words used to describe him as well – gross, morbid, hideous among so many others. People also often frame his weight as a sort of penalty for his actions – I’ve literally seen comments along the lines of “he executed his wives and became bloated and ugly as result, #justice” and it’s just????
It’s even more ridiculous for Elizabeth of York because you keep seeing comments on her weight gain which is bizarre because the girl had seven pregnancies? I’m really not sure what people expect? The idea of weight=beauty is often pedalled out in her case which is so infuriating because it’s simply not true? They’re not mutually exclusive and are not indicators of her worth? Like you’ve mentioned, an ambassador called her “very handsome” after five pregnancies, and she literally looked like depictions of saints at the end of her life. I’ve also seen comments which almost praise her husband for continuing to love her – I remember reading Arlene Okerlund write something like “Henry VII didn’t seem to mind” her weight gain – and those are so deeply twisted, both because they reduce Elizabeth’s worth solely to her beauty/sexuality and because they imply that her husband was doing something commendable by continuing to love her? Her weight is often linked to both her father and her son - I saw a comment on youtube that talked about her weight gain and said "like father like daughter" which is just???
Comments on Edward IV are just as disgusting. Like Henry VIII, his weight is linked to his morality and used to degrade him, especially in contrast to his youth – I recently read Thomas Penn’s book on the York brothers saying that Edward became a “bloated, avaricious tyrant” or something along those lines, never mind the fact that most rulers became more ruthless across their lives, and Edward appears to have been fairly well-liked regardless. Penn also mocked him for his “self-distorted parody” because he liked to show off despite his weight which is so fucked up – he was confident and charismatic, GOOD FOR HIM. It’s clear that he put on weight towards the end of his life, but like his daughter, the idea of weight=beauty is simply not true – Commynes and Thomas More both call him “very handsome and tall” and “not uncomely” respectively, Mancini mentions his “fine stature”, and I believe the Croyland Chronicle mentions the “attractions of his person” or something just 3-4 months before he died.
The idea of beauty = morality is so, so twisted. Especially because while these three seem to have been genuinely attractive and admired, beauty is often immensely exaggerated and embellished when it comes to historical figures, particularly when it comes to royalty. Most people looked like people, and it’s so upsetting and ridiculous to see these figures mocked and derided for their weight. Sorry, this got very long and feels more like a rant than a proper ask, but I really loved how you responded to some horrible comments on Elizabeth of York in particular. I should avoid Tudor TikTok and twitter lol, those people have no braincells.
Hi! I'm glad someone else is also disturbed by those comments. The way pop history authors like to push the idea that a person's physical appearance has anything to do with their morality is deeply offending, and it's discouraging to see their readers reproducing that kind of idea. Of course, the act of writing about history is reflective of our society's biases, and western society as a whole is so intrinsically fatphobic, it seems those authors don't think twice when they see an opportunity to jump on the schadenfreude bandwagon — at times you can tell the incredible personal delight they have in describing some historical figure's fine handsome built only to eagerly disparage them in every possible way later in life when they inevitable, in any way, start to lose the appearance they had in their youth. A common example too is how they talk about Elizabeth I's aging process (god forbid a woman look older than twenty-five amrite).
I remember Tracy Borman was especially revolting in this aspect in her book about the private lives of the Tudors, practically sallivating over Henry VIII's sensual cupid's bow during his youth only to describe his weight gain in the worst possible way later in her book. I have not read Thomas Penn's recent book on the brothers York but the terms you presented here were equally revolting. So a person putting on weight is the same as becoming 'a distorted parody' of oneself? I confess I dislike Penn, I think he lacks grace when talking about his subjects and always chooses the most sensationalistic sentences, and this new info only goes to confirm my opinion. I've talked about how I dislike the way Weir, Okerlund, and others, talk about Elizabeth's weight gain here and here. In my opinion it shouldn't even be a topic worth commenting? Yes, women put on weight after multiple pregnancies—why is this simple fact worth commenting on?
To be honest, I think we're past the point of giving so much importance to a historical figure's appearance as a whole, full stop. I'm tired of seeing people commenting on Margaret Beaufort's looks, for example, to imply that she was so ugly she could only have murdered the princes, but I'm also tired of seeing people giving so much importance to the so-called mythical Tudor red-gold hair. Unless it's a feature someone actually commented on during their life (so that it's got some importance historically speaking) I don't care about what shade of hair Henry VIII's great-grandniece had. I don't want to read an author sallivating over a white person's most special shade of hair ever again, quite frankly. Enough.
#sorry i ended up venting about something else#but it's a related topic that also bothers me#ask#anon#edward iv#henry viii#elizabeth of york
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
made the mistake of reading old texts with my ex 😃
its unbelievable how much shit i put up with. her being upset, me asking if theres anything i can do to make her feel better, her telling me to bring her a gun so she can end it all quickly and me fucking apologizing for making her feel that way
(this was after an argument that ensued when i left a call in panic as she started yelling at me)
#im so fucking mad#my experience of that relationship was just..#constant shit#making myself smaller and completely seriously suggest ways for me to express myself less or learn when to shut up#fucking uhh one time she was talking about how much she dislikes [game she has put hundreds of hours in]#and i suggested she should maybe find something else to play if she doesnt enjoy it#her sending me a scrshot of her hours in [said game] and basically going#'HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST I QUIT WHEN YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME AND EFFORT I HAVE PUT INTO LEARNING SPEEDRUNNING IN THIS GAME'#ibwas fucking miserable#all the fucking time#god im mad#lol#and the texts where she would say 'im so close to saying bad things rn but i wont because i love you'#how very kind of you.#mfw after that relationship ended i found someone who actually loves me and treats me well ->😮#im probably gonna delete this later idk if shes on tumblr#venting#sorry
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
•
#went to the doc for unrelated reasons and ended up having a mild health scare#I don't know exactly how much I should be worried but I'm scared of eating now#I can't tell the doctor that no I don't actually want to lose weight I'd rather maintain or even gain weight#and as much as I want to gain I get so paranoid about my health. I wish I didn't#I just wish I knew exactly how much trouble I'm 'supposed' to be in and whether I can safely gain#my relationship with my body is already fragile because I hate my bone structure and all this has only made it worse#like come on body I finally have something I want to do and you can't even let me do this. I'm not That big yet why do I have all this shit#I wonder if the weight or the stress is worse for me.#sorry for vent I have nowhere else I could possibly express something like this and have people understand
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#vent#this is all in philippine peso btw i am not rich i don’t have 10k usd jdjjd#anyways sorry about this in advance i’m just kinda still uoset about my dad#like i gave him money to pay for his like medicine for hemorrhoids#and he ended up spending it on some other things and he’s asking me for more like u said it was for medicine 😭#and he keeps on saying but it’s gonna arrive today (this was on saturday)#and i couldn’t even really do shit because all my money’s on da bank#and he’s so hsjjsjdnksjsjsjd he keeps fucking guilt tripping me#like he mentioned why i let my sister borrow money and i tols him because she pays#and he says he pays as well#but he’s talking about the time he said he’d give me his whole december salary for all the money he borrowed#throughout the year#but he was guilt tripping me when it was time to like pay me so he ended up just giving me 5k#for the whole year he was borrowing money#he said it’s my fault that i only took 5k when he was giving me his whole salary for the month#… he was making me feel bad so i just took less 😭 jdksjsmms#and when i pounted that out he was just laughing and told me not to scream it#grrjfjrhrhrrrrgrrrrkfjjf#now I’m like offering to pay like 10k of the loan he took because 7k was spent on the bed so it’s like fair for me to pay#but he said to just give him the 10k and he’ll pay me back which means he’s gonna use it for something else and not to pay the loan jdkjdkd#and what happens if he ends up not paying me and then the loan is still not paid what then ldjmejxmnxs#i feel like i’m being petty and ungrateful for even asking him to pay the money he borrows
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#told my roommate ive been depressed this weekend and she kindly offered to watch a movie but i knew shed be too tired and need to cancel#bc of the clocks changing and its ok i know how tired she gets i was the one to suggest it was okay if she cant + it was still a nice idea#but now im alone for the evening again ive been alone all weekend and weekends are the hardest for me and i thought i was feeling a little#better but im not and theres nothing to stop me from harming which is okay i keep it safe and its always a choice i make to do it or not#not anyone elses responsibility but i didnt want.to be alone tonight thats all. and offering something she knows she cant fulfil makes me#feel rejected too and i also wanted to talk abt some of her behaviour that upsets me sometimes but gently bc i dont want it to seem like#im blaming her bc its not her fault im so bad at communicating and neurotic and weird abt shit that doesnt even make sense#but its been bothering me for a really long time and it comes up again every time we meet with other people and i get really upset over it#and im the one that keeps putting off talking about it but its so hard when its been gping on so long and i find it so hard to express#anything and communicate especiallt when its shit like this but im so so so so tired of sitting on it i just want it resolved one way or#another and now i wont see her for a few days bc of this family trip and itll be on my mind the whole time and the thought is making me#feel insane already ive wasted so many hours and hours being upset by her and not being able to talk abt it i need it to stop its not even#that big a deal.it just is to me. and i dont know how to say anythign ever#and she wants to make plans with friends next weekend which feels like hoisting an anvil above my head bc if i dont go i risk having a#rejection sensitive episode bc im vulnerable rn and this is exactly what happened over the summer and it took me months to recover from but#if i do go ill get upset bc ill feel unwanted there and ill be dealing with the same issue that comes up every fucking time and either way#ill end up harming in response to it bc i cant handle how intense my emotions are and i dont have any better outlets right now#for these specific feelings and i dont want to do that i want to be a normal fucking human being who doesnt lock themself in a#stupid fucking iron maiden style repression over completely innocuous shit that no one would even know im reacting this way to#i cant do it i cant do thjs anymore i cant i want it to stop im so tired and it hurts so so much feeling so much like this#they should make a mind for me that is capable of not inflicting distress this intense on itself i need to explode#actually. maybe since i wont see her for a couple days i can write a long discord message about it instead. i know its a shitty way to#deliver information but maybe it would be easier that way rather than trying to summon the courage to say anything in person when im#usually actively upset abt it at the time and my immediate response to getting upset is to shut down and not express which doesnt help#and its so stupid but i need it to not be like this i cant keep living with her and getting so upset so regularly it has to stop now#ill think about itand maybe draft it. and then i can decide. but right now i need to eat. and pack. and then cut sorry. but its ok#ughhhhfdhf. please let this week be better ill try harder ill say something i have to im the one inflicting this on myself by not talking#about it!!!!!!!!! so. man and i think my dinner is cold now too. oh well#.vent#tw self harm
0 notes
Text
trying not to have a breakdown over stupid shit. why am I like this
#it’s so stupid like. I’m crying bc my mom doesn’t wanna go to see the ballet we were set to go see tonight#It was supposed to be my whole family but then my dad and sister couldn’t come#so it was just gonna be me and her#and I’ve really been looking forward to it bc I’ve been really lonely lately and the only reason I leave the house is for an exam or work#bc I don’t have the money to go do stuff and I can’t afford gas to do extra driving#and I don’t really have people to hang out with so I just end up sitting alone in my room all day watching reels and feeling depressed#and so I was excited to finally get to go do something. I was excited to spend some time with my mom#bc I just also haven’t spent a ton of time with my family lately either#my sister is always out of the house and when my parents are home they’re watching a show or working out#We haven’t eaten dinner together in like a week#and I feel like a clingy asshole bc everyone else isn’t having this problem. They all see other people and go do stuff#so when I sit in the living room hoping someone will be willing to talk to me I just feel like I’m interrupting them#but finally we had something planned!#and then my mom said she doesn’t even really wanna go tonight.#and I don’t wanna force her to go#and I guess I could go on my own but I was excited to finally get to spend time with someone else#it’s so stupid but I’ve just been feeling so isolated lately and I’ve kinda been hanging on by a thread these past few days#and so this was a big thing for me#and now I don’t even know if we’re going and I’m crying about it#vent#sorry
0 notes
Text
Because everything related to school is technology based, I can see why I barely got anything done in high school
#most articles talking about how to focus always say put away distractions but how can I do that when I have to write an essay on a computer#like everything with school has tech involved with everything#of course I’m gonna stray away from doing English homework and go play the dinosaur game#also my brain is an ass who is like ‘noooo it’s too quite we need NOISE play some music’ while also being like#‘noooo it’s too noisy let’s wait until we get home to do it’#cycle then repeats back and forth and it ended with me having like less than a paragraph written#i do not understand the concept of focus how does one stay focused doing something for long periods of time cause I sure can’t#i find I can do it with drawing but even then there are times where I stray away and do something else#man I really should call my doctor and ask if I could possibly get a referral to get tested for adhd cause the signs are there ngl#but even then there’s a little birdie in my head saying that I don’t have it and I’m just lazy or making up excuses and that ppl w/o adhd#can have bad time management and struggle with focusing and staying in topic#anyways I should get back to drawing now sorry for essentially venting something#have a good day and I’m sending lots of hugs if you need one :3
0 notes
Text
Love when people make a judgmental comment about [xyz behavior that holds absolutely no inherent moral value] and it's a thing that they don't realize applies to me.
#this is why I struggle with human connection lmao#like okay so if you knew this about me would you stop talking to me? because that's kind of what it sounds like.#like I guess I can be upfront and say 'hey this is my life' to weed out the judgmental people ahead of time but like.#why is that on me? why should I have to divulge various aspects of my life to determine whether someone isn't gonna hurt me?#like this is why interpersonal relationships are so goddamn hard they require the kindness and understanding of other people#I can only control my OWN shit. there's nothing I can do about anyone else's behavior#like yeah I AM probably too afraid of vulnerability but consider that people do not generally respect or treasure vulnerability & then they#act really shitty about it#like I just. I am trying SO hard to get to a point where I don't need other people and can just handle everything completely by myself but.#you know. I'm just not the kind of person who can ever realistically do that. unfortunately. so then I just end up being miserable & bitter#ugh I'm sorry#I'm just. Dealing(tm) with something#I just gotta get through my birthday next week probably. hopefully. idk.#In the Vents
1 note
·
View note
Text
⊹₊⟡⋆♡ oh, nothing! just bitchy!kook!reader walking around the house in nothing but rafe’s favorite heels after he decides talking on the phone with his friends is more important than paying attention to his girl..
warnings: bratty behavior, rafe being sexually frustrated lol, groping, heavy teasing, suggestive ending
a/n: just a little something on the shorter side because these 2k+ wc fics have done their number on me lol
you rolled your eyes, an exasperated sigh leaving your lips as rafe’s laughter echoed from upstairs. he has been on a three way call with kelce and topper for going on an hour now, and while you usually didn’t care, he had you waiting for him downstairs in full glam and an empty tummy. this is what you get when you try to play nice and put your catty attitude to the side for one night; a negligent boyfriend who had no care for anything else in the world except for what him and his idiot friends were rambling on about. your impatience is what lead you to be in the position you were in right now; naked and ignoring rafe as he followed you around the house, begging you to give him the slightest amount of attention.
“we can go get dinner now, okay?! i was just listening to topper vent about ruthie, i swear i wasn’t ignoring you!” he refrained from stopping you in your tracks, his cock stirring in his pants when he watched the way your hips swayed with every step. “oh, really?” you spun around, your boyfriend’s eyes falling down to your bare chest, “not responding to me when i called you downstairs like a thousand times wasn’t you ignoring me?” rafe opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off when you walked away from him again. this time he watched you round the corner of the hallway, making your way into the kitchen before cursing under his breath.
you could tell you were driving rafe insane by the way he was gripping the kitchen island, his knuckles white with tension. “so, what? you’re just going to walk around like that?” he asked, his eyes burning into your skin. you shrugged, bending over the counter with a look in your eyes that made him want to wrap a fist in your hair and take you right there. “too bad you were busy with your friends earlier.. i actually wanted to be the sweet girlfriend tonight and give you dessert after dinner. oh well..” you pouted, walking past him as you flipped your hair over your shoulder. why were you like this? toxic, bitchy, mean, but still irresistible, sexy, and perfect?
“it won’t happen again, i promise.” rafe was hypnotized as he watched you walk into the living room, your heels clicking against the floor as your boyfriend pleaded with you to let him take you upstairs. “maybe the neighbors would appreciate the view a lot more than you do—” you barely touched the curtains before your boyfriend snatched you away from the large window. “that’s enough.” he said through gritted teeth, his gruff voice just right below your ear. suppressing the butterflies from fluttering in your tummy, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “that poor excuse of an apology isn’t gonna get you anywhere.” rafe chuckled, his hands feeling like fire on your hips.
“let me show you how sorry i am..” he turned you around, his cock aching as he could now feel your tits pressing against him through his shirt. he was making it really hard for you to keep up your act. “acting like a little brat, i know exactly what you need right now.” you gasped when you felt him take a handful of your ass, his bruising grip only exciting you further. “and what is that?” you leaned in, feeling the last of your resolve crumble when he took your hand to feel him through the denim of his jeans. “it’s so hard for you, baby,” he nearly moaned, lowering his tone, “and i’m still so hungry..”
#❤︎₊ ⊹ works#₊˚⊹♡ rafe#₊˚⊹♡ bitchy!kook!reader#outer banks#outer banks smut#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks imagine#rafe outer banks#obx#rafe obx#obx smut#obx fanfiction#obx imagine#obx x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x you#rafe fluff#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
im going to lose my mind
#i'm so sorry for the rant vent whatever sorry if this is a triggering topic to you#im kinda just filling dead air until the tags are long enough to cut off#sorry for ranting i need to get this out somehow#ed tw#jesus christ there is SO MUCH STUFF in this house#so much fucking chips i bought before the restriction got hardcore#so much shit my mom bought bc we had guests and was completely useless#so much fucking stuff#i can't fucking stand it#i want to get rid of it i need to get rid of it so badly#i did a pretty okay job not buying anything or getting anything out to dedicate myself to emptying at least my stuff#but the end of summer break is closing in and i'm about to have a very eventful week and school again and and and#and the chips were like. i asked my parents for help. to eat them up over time. and there's still. so much.#and i'm so scared of it#i'm so fucking terrified of it#i don't crave it#i don't want it#i'm so afraid i'll eat a pack and then hmmm no actually i didn't like that enough let's eat something else now#it makes me want to puke#but there's still so much stuff#and my dad still buys fucking pastries and shit#and there's so many bottles of caloric full sugar stuff in the cellar#and i just want to eat stuff i WANT i can't stand this bullshit anymore#by the end of the week i'll have plenty of social eating situations while the clutter problem STILL isn't solved#i want to dunk my big dumb head in the toilet bowl and drown there#if i had lived alone i'd have thrown everything away already#cuz i can't figure out how to give it away#but no my parents would know#and they or we are gonna eat this eventually#which. with them as a Designated Meal is kinda the only way i feel pretty okay about eating some of that stuff. so that's good.
1 note
·
View note
Text
saying they want to break up during a fight, ATEEZ.
featuring — ateez members x gn!reader ( masterlist )
summary — a reaction of what happens when the ateez boys impulsively tell you they want to break up during an argument!
contents — angst, fighting, some tears, reconciliation.
hong ☾ joong
the argument had been dragging on for what felt like hours. hongjoong leaned against his desk, rubbing his temples in frustration. “i don’t know what else you want me to say,” he muttered, his voice sharp.
“i want you to stop shutting me out all the time!” you snapped back, your emotions bubbling over.
he clenched his fists, the stress of everything overwhelming him. “maybe we’re better off apart if i’m so bad at this,” he said coldly, the words cutting through the room like a knife.
your face fell, the weight of his statement sinking in. “you… you think we should break up?”
the moment he saw the tears in your eyes, regret hit him like a tidal wave. “wait, no,” he stammered, stepping forward. “that’s not what i meant. i didn’t mean it.”
“then why would you say it?” you whispered, your voice trembling.
hongjoong’s expression softened, guilt washing over him. he reached for your hands, holding them tightly. “because i’m a coward,” he admitted, his voice cracking. “i was scared of failing you, and i said the stupidest thing i could. please, don’t believe it. i need you — i love you. let me fix this. don’t let me lose you over my own stupidity.”
seong ☾ hwa
seonghwa’s jaw tightened as he tried to keep his composure. “i don’t understand why this keeps happening,” he said, his voice lower than usual but no less intense.
“because you always avoid talking about your feelings!” you retorted, your frustration spilling over.
his lips pressed into a thin line, his usual patience worn down. “maybe that’s just who i am, and if you can’t handle it, maybe we shouldn’t be together!”
the words hung in the air, and both of you froze. you stared at him in shock, unable to process what he’d just said.
seonghwa’s eyes widened as the reality of his words sank in. “no, wait,” he said quickly, stepping toward you. “i didn’t mean that.”
“you think we should break up?” you asked, your voice breaking.
“no,” he said firmly, his voice trembling now. “i said it because i was frustrated, but it’s not what i feel. i’m sorry — i was wrong to push you away like that.” he reached out, his hands cupping your face gently. “i love you too much to let this end over my own stupid mistake. please… forgive me.”
yun ☾ ho
“why do you always have to make everything such a big deal?” yunho asked, exasperation clear in his tone.
“because it is a big deal to me and you never seem to care!” you shot back, your voice rising.
yunho threw his hands up, the frustration boiling over. “fine! if that’s how you feel, maybe we should just break up!”
the room fell silent, the weight of his words crushing both of you. your lips parted in shock, and his face immediately dropped. “wait,” he said, his voice softer now. “no, i didn’t mean that.”
“you think this is something to just throw away?” you asked, your voice almost shaking.
“no!” he said, panic seeping into his tone as he crossed the distance between you. “i was angry, okay? i wasn’t thinking. i would never want to lose you — not for anything.” he reached for your hands, his grip firm but tender. “i’m sorry. i said it because i didn’t know how else to handle this, but i’ll do better. please don’t give up on me — on us.”
yeo ☾ sang
yeosang’s arms were crossed, his face unreadable as you vented your frustrations. “you never open up to me,” you said, your voice shaking with emotion.
“i don’t know how to, okay?” he replied evenly, his tone laced with frustration. “so i hope you can understand how frustrating it can be for me when you push me to do so repeatedly. maybe you’d be better off with someone who could.”
the words hit you like a punch to the stomach. “what are you saying?”
“maybe we should break up,” he said quietly, his gaze fixed on the floor.
your heart sank, and silence filled the room. yeosang glanced up, and the devastation on your face shattered his calm facade. “wait,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “that’s not… i didn’t mean that.”
“then why say it?” you asked, tears streaming down your cheeks.
“because i don’t know how to handle this,” he admitted, his voice cracking. “but losing you? that’s not something i can handle either.” he stepped closer, his eyes filled with regret. “i’m sorry. i let my insecurities speak for me, but i don’t want this to end. please, let me make this right.”
san ☾
san paced the room, his frustration boiling over. “why do we keep having the same argument?” he exclaimed, running a hand through his hair.
“because you never listen to me the first time!” you shot back, your voice almost trembling. “if you cared about me the slightest, we wouldn’t have to be running in circles over the same topic!”
“that’s not fair,” san replied, his voice rising and something flashing in his eyes. “if it bothers you so much and i don’t care the way you want me to, then maybe you should just leave!”
the words hung in the air, heavy and suffocating. your eyes widened, and his heart immediately sank as he saw the hurt flash across your face.
“wait,” he said, his voice breaking as the realization hit him. “i didn’t mean that.”
you stepped back, tears welling in your eyes. “you can’t just say something like that, san.”
“i know,” he whispered, stepping closer to you, desperation in his gaze. “i wasn’t thinking — i was angry. but i don’t want to lose you. please, i’ll do better. just… don’t leave me.”
when you didn’t respond, he gently took your hand, holding it tightly. “you’re everything to me,” he said, his voice shaking. “please don’t let one stupid moment ruin us.”
min ☾ gi
mingi’s voice echoed in the small room, louder than he’d intended. “i’m tired of this, okay? maybe we should just break up!”
your jaw dropped, the sharpness of his words cutting deep. for a moment, you stood frozen, staring at him in disbelief. but when his words registered, you turned around to walk away quietly.
as the weight of what he’d said sank in, mingi’s anger dissolved into panic. “wait,” he said quickly, reaching for you as you turned away. “no, no, no, i didn’t mean that.”
“then why would you say it?” you demanded, too shook to cry. yet.
“i was being stupid,” he admitted, his voice trembling. “i didn’t know how else to say i’m scared — scared of losing you, scared of messing this up. but breaking up? that’s the last thing i want.”
he dropped to his knees, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his forehead against your stomach. “please don’t hate me,” he whispered. “i love you more than anything. i’ll do whatever it takes to fix this.”
woo ☾ young
“fine! if you don’t trust me, then maybe we shouldn’t be together!” wooyoung snapped, his voice laced with frustration.
your breath caught, his words hitting like a punch to the gut. “is that what you really want?” you asked, your voice barely audible.
as soon as the words left his mouth, regret flooded wooyoung’s expression. “no,” he said, his voice softening instantly. “no, that’s not what i want at all.”
you shook your head, stepping back as you almost felt queasy at the way he suggested splitting so easily. “then why?”
wooyoung reached out, his hands trembling as they rested on your shoulders. “because i’m an idiot,” he admitted, his voice cracking. “i let my emotions get the best of me, and i said something i didn’t mean. please, don’t believe it. you’re the only person i want.”
he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as if afraid you’d disappear. “i’ll spend forever making this up to you,” he whispered against your hair. “just don’t let me lose you.”
jong ☾ ho
jongho’s voice was low but firm as he spoke. “maybe this just isn’t working anymore,” he said, his tone colder than he intended.
your eyes widened, and the room seemed to still. it took you a few moments to register what he was implying. “you’re breaking up with me?” you asked, disbelief evident in your voice.
as the words left his mouth, jongho’s chest tightened. he saw the hurt and confusion in your expression, and his own heart shattered. “no,” he said quickly, stepping toward you. “that’s not what i want.”
“but you just said —”
“i know what i said,” he interrupted, his voice almost sharp from the panic he felt. “but i didn’t mean it.” he reached for your hand, holding it firmly. “i got scared, okay? scared that i’m not enough for you, that i’ll keep hurting you like this. but losing you? that’s the only thing i can’t handle.”
your eyes blurred with tears as he pulled you into his arms, his grip tight and unwavering. “i’m sorry,” he murmured. “i’ll never say something so stupid again. just give me one more chance to prove how much you mean to me.”
notes: ooh, this one was sadder to write :') if you guys have angstier ideas, feel free to send them in and don't forget to interact with the fic after reading <3
#ateez#ateez reactions#ateez headcanons#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez angst#ateez smut#ateez au#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#hongjoong x reader#seonghwa x reader#yunho x reader#yeosang x reader#san x reader#mingi x reader#wooyoung x reader#ateez fics#ateez ot8 x reader#jongho x reader#ateez fluff#reactions
747 notes
·
View notes
Text
More Lucanis rambles because I’m still thinking about it and got nothing better to do :P
I am not here to tell anyone how to feel but putting words into peoples mouths who criticize the Lucanis romance (or Lucanis in general) for being unsatisfactory by saying;
“You don’t know what a slow burn is/ it’s because you expected zevran / you don’t get it he’s traumatized/ you just wanted something spicy and didn’t get it so now you’re mad” etc.
Is completely disregarding the fact that his lack of reactions and lack of content actually led people to believe he is bugged. Most DA fans didn’t expect spice or steam or whatever but they did expect an effective story, one they didn’t get.
This is at the end of the day a visual storytelling medium and implication will only get you so far, if i have to start thinking up entire plotlines in my head to make sense of the story or relationship progression then they failed at good storytelling. If i have to write paragraphs of explanations that the game doesn’t even remotely touch on then that isn’t a slow burn, it’s just a lack of content and poor pacing.
If he is traumatized and reluctant because of it you have to give me a scene where i can actually read that. If he is awkward and doesn’t know how to react to flirting you have to exaggerate to an extent for people to tell. If there is longing and angst give me banter that reflects it.
A romance in a game should give me some kind of deeper personal insight into a character and if i have to do the writers job and in my head think up those insights then the actual romance is mostly moot. I’m not saying give me all the details i’m saying at the very least give me a jumping point, some info buried in the game i won’t get otherwise. His romance fails at this.
Mary Kirby was fired yes and it’s awful what happened but unfortunately the product still remains and it leaves a lot to be desired for a big amount of people. When players are straight up going back on saves to romance someone else it’s a real problem. For me, it soured my first playthrough, especially later when i saw how Davrin and Emmrich had content, convos, specific romance outings and at the bare minimum actually had a noticeable reaction to flirting dialogue.
Again I’m not telling anyone how to feel, if it works for you that’s awesome, but to disregard his obvious lack of content by calling other fans basically stupid is incredibly disingenuous.
I love his character, loved it since The Wigmakers Job and he is still my favorite after my first playthrough. I think the beginning of his romance was very promising and the end is great but everything else is missing I’m sorry. His romance was not well executed and i honestly don’t think his character really was either. (But i won’t vent about that right now)
I know what a slow burn is, i was not expecting Zevran, i did not want a steamy romance. I wanted a well executed story and i didn’t get one. I am critical because i think it could’ve been great, i still love the game and i am not shitting on it, his character or other fans i just hate wasted potential.
#I STILL REALLY LIKE THE GAME#i promise i am not hating just to hate#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#datv critical#dragon age#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis dragon age#lucanis#lucanis romance#rookanis#wolfs lucanis tag#wolfs DA rambles
509 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okie sooo I'm like in the middle of tests and work and the progress to my upcoming oneshots have been slow so I thought, "why not make some headcanons?" (Frankly cuz I'm fucking bored of studying and working all the damned time) Total Masterlist
Okie so for these little imagines, I was thinking
How your boyfriend!skz would react to you waiting for them in a sexy lingerie after they had a long day at work! [Ot8] {Pt. 1: Hyung Line}
MDNI // includes smut (think y'all can know by the title itself lmao), I'm not exactly sure what warnings to include, just know it's smutty (I'm very sorry I'm highly sleep deprived and running on my 7th coffee today my brain cannot function) // established relationships
Tag Reqs:@arestoucries
Bang Chan
Ok so like- I just KNOW the man wouldn't even notice. He'd walk in to your shared apartment (idfk), his head hanging with like heavy sighs and he wouldn't even notice what you were wearing when he walks in. I feel like it wouldn't be AFTER he had his shoes off and walking slow, tired steps towards you and then he looks up and drops his jaw like the bag he had in his hand. He'd prolly stutter sumn like, "Y-Y/N...? What are you...?" And not even have the means to say anything else. He would just be standing there worshipping you, basking in your beauty and walk up to you, wrapping his arms around your bare waist nice and gentle and place soft wet kisses everywhere, once again, worshipping you. Feel like even if he's tired, he would savour you in the gentlest way possible and if he had a really bad day, maybe even cry in your arms a little and vent during aftercare (cuz we all know what a damned softie he is and we love him for that)
Lee Know
For him, I'd say he would just walk in STOMPING cuz he's PISSED (possibly at himself cuz he thinks he doesn't work hard enough or at something or the other that disrupted his usual flow) and he'd just flop on the couch calling out to you probably to cuddle. Maybe even get things heated iykyk and in this case, he'd definitely do the latter. When you walk in wearing that sexy lingerie, his eyes would be wide fixated on you. And seeing him down on the couch in his usual manspread would just get you DRIPPIN'. He would probably scoff at the sight in front of him and flick his fingers motioning you to come and pat on his thighs to get you to sit down and like his little kitten you are, you would obey without a word. He'd probably run his hands all through your body, placing wet kisses, maybe even leaving marks. I'd imagine him saying something like, "what a good kitty. How'd you know I would need just this, hm?" In this husky seductive tone (once again iykyk) and despite how tired he is, I'd think he would take his time eating you up cuz youre his favourite meal~
Changbin
Would he possibly be walking in looking like he could murder someone? Yes. Will he come home to find you like that and go fucking feral? Absolutely. Will he just absolutely wreck your brains out? DEFINITELY. Do I even have to say anything?? The man is a gentle beast. He's gonna care for you, he's gonna love you, prepare you with foreplay and the moment he gets permission and knows you're ready to take him, he'd go BEAST. And then once you're done, and you'd just be laying there huffing in his arms, he would loudly yap about his day and by the end of it, let you know how much he loves you and appreciates your efforts cuz you unintentionally just made him the happiest man alive.
Hyunjin
Another guy who would worship you, really. When he gets home tired and groggy to see you sitting like a beautiful sculpture who was sculpted with extra care, extra love and extra details, he would fold. Probably melt in your arms telling you how crazy gorgeous you looked and how he would take his time painting you with his cum and then later after making a mess out of you, he'd take his time engraving your image both on his canvas and in his mind. No matter how tired he was from the day full of work, once you guys were done with all that, he would sit down on his painting stool with his large canvas in front of him while you laid there mindlessly filled and covered with his fluids. He'd look at you like a work of art, a once in a lifetime masterpiece created JUST for him while he keeps repeating sweet nothings as he paints you.
#skz smut#stray kids smut#bangchan smut#lee know smut#changbin smut#hyunjin smut#skz imagines#skz x reader#skz#skz hard thoughts#stray kids#han jisung smut#jeongin smut#lee felix smut#seungmin smut
584 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi! omg I just have to tell you that you literally write Toji so well. If you’re taking requests, (if not then so sorry disregard!) may I request something where Toji accidentally hurts reader during sex and how he reacts? Or maybe pushes a boundary or something? Thank you so much! If this doesn’t interest you sorry!
A/N: Hello, hello 😊 Thank you for reading my works! I'm so glad to hear that enjoy the way I write this hunk of a man 🥰🫶🏼
Thank you for sending in this request 💙
It was one of those nights where things were calm and quiet, until Toji got home from a job that took up most of his day. His footsteps were heavy on the floor, his adrenaline was still high, and all he wanted was you, after a day that seemed never ending.
He greeted you like he usually does on days like this, with a weary, 'hey, doll' and a kiss that doesn't last too long, because he's aware of how he reeks of sweat and he feels filthy. He vented a little bit about his day, finally getting to verbalize his frustrations about the client's unprofessionalism and the snarky attitude that he had to deal with all day. The not so subtle sigh he let out afterwards, told you everything. You would have to give him a little extra love once he got out of the shower, to remind him that there will never be ruthlessness in any way, shape or form, similar to what he sees outside, when he comes home. You'll always be his solace, there to take care of him, even before things get too heavy for him to bear on his own.
Toji had different plans for the night. He came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, water droplets still gliding down his chest and rolling down his abdomen. You thought maybe he forgot to grab clothes, but that theory was immediately shut down when he unwrapped the towel and started running it up his body to dry himself a little more.
You flipped onto your stomach on the bed, your attention going to your phone as you wait for him to finish getting ready for bed.
"Since when are you shy about ogling me?" Toji asks, after a few seconds, a smirk decorating his face as he rakes his eyes over your backside.
You craned your neck to look at him, and he still wasn't dressed. "I'm not. Just thought it'd be a quick swoop of you getting your clothes on, so I naturally turned around."
He hums. "And if I decide to sleep like this, tonight?"
You shrug. "By all means. If you're comfortable, i'm not gonna stop you."
You never thought you'd have to go back on your word. He was comfortable. Very much so, but you weren't, anymore. It started out as something similar to what you had planned. You were affectionate with him, planting sweet kisses onto his face and lips, which he returned. It really was a loving moment, even when his hands started roaming, grabbing at your chest and teasing you through your underwear. It was still loving when he bared you, pulling off your shirt and kissing your exposed skin, your shorts and underwear being tugged off in the process.
What started out as a gentle lovemaking session, with quiet gasps and hums of pleasure, transitioned into something less delicate. His hips picked up a feral pace that ripped orgasms from both of you, sensitivity being the only thing he slowed down for. Heavy, audible breathing, gasps that sounded like you had the wind knocked out of you and cries, took the place of noises that were once light and controllable—volume-wise.
You felt like you were being used—like he saw you as something insentient, in that moment. Rough sex with him wasn't new, but this was something else, entirely. Everything was starting to hurt in an unpleasant manner. Your abdomen felt sore from how much it tensed each time you came, your thighs burned from being pinned to your chest for so long, and the actual movement of his cock drilling into your abused cunt was starting to bring on some tenderness.
"T-Toji," you call, through a huff. He couldn't hear you over the lewd sounds of skin on skin and his own sounds of pleasure. "Toji," you try again, your voice still coming out meekly. "Please, can we..." you whimper. "Can we pause?"
"Pause?" He grunts, not stilling. "You want me to stop? I'm close, again, baby. Just a little more."
You wanted to last for him. You wanted to let him have this last one, but you couldn't do it. It was too much to endure, and though it was terrifying to say the word, again, for the first time in a while, you had to put an end to it. It was for the best.
"Safe, Toji! Safe! Safe!" You used as much strength as you could to get your legs down, accidentally kicking him in the process. Toji got off of you immediately, his heartbeat doubling its pace— a mixture of his exertion and the sound of your very rarely used safe word, being shouted out. "S-Sorry, i'm sorry!" You choke out, apologizing for the accidental strike. There was guilt in there as well, for killing his pleasure.
He catches his breath before responding to you, not wanting to sound like a panting dog as he communicates the matter with you.
"What are you saying 'sorry' for?" He asks, eyes darting over your frame, watching as you scramble to cover yourself up with the blanket. "No, baby. Don't do that." He leans down to pick up the towel he let fall to the floor, before climbing into bed with you, and drapes it over his lap.
Your eyes burned with unshed tears. You felt vulnerable, unable to look at Toji, even when you could feel his gaze on you.
"You okay?" He asks, looking at your twinkling eyes and the stifled quiver of your lips.
"It's okay," you say, your voice wavering. "It's fine." You glance at him, crossing your arms over your chest beneath the blanket.
"I asked if you're okay. Answer that first."
The room went quiet as you tried to compose yourself. The lump in your throat got more uncomfortable by the second. Your stomach ached from the soreness of your abdominal muscles and from holding in your emotions, for the sake of putting up a strong front that Toji never asked for. He was being genuine and his eyes wouldn't leave your face. He could see you holding it together, poorly.
"It was just a lot... and it was starting to hurt. I just- I needed a break." You swipe the knuckle of your index finger beneath your eye, frustrated by the cool dampness left behind on your skin.
"Okay, and what was that 'sorry' for?" He asks. He wants to hold onto some part of you, to hopefully soothe you a little bit, but he's not sure if you want to be touched by him, right now.
"You didn't get to finish and I kicked you. It was an accident, I swear. I didn't mean to do that. You know I would never hit you, Toji." Your eyes welled up, again. You thought about how you want to make him feel as safe as he makes you feel.
"It didn't hurt me one bit, ma. You barely even touched me, so drop the guilt on that. Also, do you not feel and see the mess we made?"
It's impossible not to. You're both sweaty, the sheets are damp with the juices that flowed out of you and his cum still resides in you—warm and slowly drooling out.
"I'm more than satisfied. I was getting greedy with you, huh?"
You nod your head, giving him a small, weary smile.
He sighs, no trace of disappointment or being let down. If there's anything to be upset over, it's the fact that you apologized for something you were faultless about. He can't bring himself to be firm with you about it, right now. You still did exactly what you were supposed to by using the safe word. As for the guilt that lingered around having to use it, that's a long conversation reserved for a more appropriate time.
"Are you okay?" He asks, again. "Be honest."
"A little sore, but i'm okay," you respond, lifting the blanket up over your chest, again.
"Mm, okay. Stay here." He wraps the towel that rests on him, around his waist. "Don't go anywhere, alright?" The corners of his lips lifted, earning another smile from you before he's off to the bathroom. He grabs a towel and uses hot water to dampen it, knowing that by the time he gets back to you, it'll be warm.
He ran the towel all over you, a simple wipe down, for now, so that you would feel a little cleaner and wait to shower until morning.
His gaze is soft as it trails behind the movement of his hand. This is an act of love for the one who cares about him more than anyone else, meaning his touch is as gentle as can be, like he's mending deeper wounds.
When he got to the most sensitive part, he was especially careful. He was very attentive, dabbing the towel against you, his eyes flitting between what his hands were doing and your face to make sure he wasn't hurting you. You winced a few times, and each time he pressed a kiss to your thigh—a silent apology.
Afterwards, the sheets were pulled off the bed and tossed aside to be washed, along with the blanket. Only the comforter stayed so that you wouldn't have to sleep on the bare mattress. You both got dressed, staying light in clothes for comfort. Even without a blanket, you wouldn't be cold for a second through the night, because Toji clung onto you. He held you tight and murmured sweet nothings into your ear, until all you could do was hum tiredly in response, eventually falling asleep.
#toji#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu toji#toji x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#toji fushiguro x y/n#toji fushiguro x you#toji fushiguro x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x you#fushiguro toji x reader#fushiguro toji#toji smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen scenarios
572 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm here (j.t.)
Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader
Warnings: Kissing.
Word Count: 2.7k
Song Rec: I love you, I'm sorry by Gracie Abrams
It was hard to enjoy the cold when Jason was surrounded by the uncomfortable heat of tailpipes and exhaust vents and the bustle of Gothamites around him. He could feel himself break out into a sweat even though he was on the roof of a building, where he had been for the last twenty minutes.
He had taken off his helmet, preferring to keep only his domino on but even then, he felt like he couldn't breathe easy. He could easily blame the city's shitty climate but deep down he knew the reason was across the street from him.
He watched as the lights flicked on; his view obstructed due to the frosted glass that he had begged you to put up. You hated closing the curtains because you felt it made your already small apartment even smaller and he hated the fact that anyone across the street could catch a glimpse into your home.
He could really see the irony in that now as he wished for a better view of your face.
But even without it, he could clearly envision you coming home from a long day, dumping your bag at the door, and kicking off your shoes, refusing to kick off your socks in the same way and instead tossing them into the hamper. Dirty socks were your pet peeve, one that he learnt extremely early into the relationship.
However, you also refused for him to wear shoes in your home, and he hated being barefooted, so you compromised and got him a couple spare socks and a pair of slippers. He wondered if they were still there in the lowest drawer of your shoe cabinet.
You'd immediately sit on the ground to rest your legs after walking four blocks from the subway station instead of a chair because you didn't want your 'outside clothes' to touch your clean furniture.
A melancholic smile spread across Jason's lips as something beautiful, yet painful began to coil around his chest. He loved that he could still remember every single thing about you. It was those little features; the way you'd always forget your towel in the dryer while taking a shower and begging Jason to bring it to you, the tiny welt in the corner on your lips that you got from biting them til they'd bleed, that lock of hair at the back of your head that was a different texture than the rest. It was those that would bring him back to Earth whenever the green of the pit seemed to blind him.
The lines of your body were the only thing he envisioned when he closed his eyes, the mellifluous flow of your voice threading through his eardrums whenever he had any quiet, the heat of your phantom fingertips tracing up his arms and wrapping around his waist as he laid alone in bed.
You haunted him, your memories tormented him, and he wondered if you were in the same boat as him, simply existing but not living. He wondered how you would feel if you heard the deep baritone of his voice now that he's grown into a man, or the heat from his chest when he enveloped your now much smaller form in his arms.
He wondered if you were wondering about him. He wondered if you were lying alone like him or had his side of the bed already been claimed by somebody else. Someone who was smarter and sweeter and better.
The pragmatic side of him told him that he should be happy if you managed to find another. Afterall, he loved you so much if you asked him to carve out his own breaking heart and place it in your palms, he would, if only to see the smile on your face. So, he should be happy if you were happy.
However, rest of him banged against his ribcage with bloody fists, begging for it not to be true.
He scolded himself while his feet mindlessly took him to your apartment building, and he was left staring at the frosted glass of your window.
He knew it would end up this way, he just knew it. When he had first come out from the Lazarus pit, he was adamant not to meet you again, convinced that you would be better off without him.
Then he kept thinking about you and he concluded that he'd only see you once, if only to see that you were doing well and taking care of yourself. And then he'd never tempt himself again.
And then he promised himself he'd only watch you from afar, desperately trying to catch glances of you like a parched man would savour the smallest drop of water.
Then he got even greedier. His heart tugged him so hard that he almost fell off the roof in his haste to grapple across the street and climb down the fire escape til your apartment building.
He promised himself this would be the last. He would stop here. He would only listen to your voice while a wall separated the both of you. He would stop there.
Jason listened to you sing while you washed the dishes, your voice only fading to a dull hum through the wall and his brows furrowed, leaning his forehead against it as he tried to catch every wave of your voice.
Then eventually it was silent, and he stared at his feet for a couple seconds before sighing and beginning to stand.
He didn't know why he continued to come see you. Every time the fleeting glance of you passed, he was left feeling an empty chasm that seemed to drag his stomach into a blackhole. He was unable to get out of bed the next day, despaired by the fact that you were able to go about your day while he was stuck in his own hell.
So, why did he continue to do it? Why did he feel your absence like critters crawling all over his skin and only feeling a semblance of relief when he knows that he's near you? Why can he only feel better when he feels his heart pounding in his chest when he thinks that at any moment you could accidentally spot him where he was hiding even though he'd be constantly disappointed? And yet, he still hoped you'd spot him again.
He'd hear the lights click shut any second now before you crawled into bed, falling asleep while clutching your phone and scrolling through Instagram.
He was always disheartened at the end of these nights, when he realized that he was the only one lingering outside in the cold as he waited for you to notice him, to long for him. But yet again, you managed to get through another day without losing yourself in your grief, unlike him.
Was it really that easy for you to get over him? He was standing outside your apartment, wishing to go back to the nights where you used to invite him in with open arms while you remained oblivious to how much he missed you.
He turned his back to leave when he heard a click and then a noisy squeak of the hinges as you pushed the window open.
Your wide eyes met his stormy blue and you froze.
"Hey, beautiful."
There was a beat of silence between the two of you that was filled with the sounds of Gotham and you continued to stare at him, shocked into a stupor. Finally, it seemed like you were able to knock your consciousness back into your body and you squeezed your eyes shut and began counting backward from ten.
"He’s not really here, (Y/N). Jason is gone. You were there at the funeral. You watched them lower his body into his grave, (Y/N). He's gone. And he's not coming back."
Jason watched your throat bob like a lone acorn down a tempestuous river and you squeezed your eyes shut tighter, flared nostrils telling him that you were on the verge of tears. Your fingers curled into a tight grip that had your knuckles turning a shade lighter.
Now he knew why he was so anxious about seeing you again. Why, when one foot had taken a step toward you, the other remained anchored to his spot until you walked past him. While he was worried that you had moved on from him, he was even more terrified to see the effect that his death had on you.
When he came back to Gotham and he realized that he had been erased and replaced by Bruce, it was only easy for him to think you had done the same thing. It was easier for him to think he had been abandoned by the entire world. But he was always scared to find out if he was right, so he kept his distance.
However, he was even more scared to find out that you had been left missing him because of a stupid mistake he had made as a child when you had begged him not to. You had known he was beginning to go off the rails, that he was getting rebellious, and you had begged him not to do anything rash.
He had just taken it as a sign that you didn't believe in him either, that you were just like the others, and he had sought to prove you wrong. He laid on the blood of the warehouse, beaten bloody and waiting for his father to rescue him and wishing that you wouldn't be too despaired by his immature stupidity.
Now watching you dig the heels of your palms into your eyes, as if trying to erase what you had just seen, he felt guilty for putting you in that position. He shouldn't be here, he shouldn't have left, he shouldn't have loved you in the first place.
Still, he couldn't move.
You took a deep breath and opened your eyes, blinking a couple times at the ground before you could raise your head again.
Your shoulders slumped and your eyes began to fill with tears, "That usually works."
"(Y/N)," he whispered, reaching for you put his fingertips stopped right before crossing your windowsill as though there was a physical barrier stopping him from touching you. His hand trembled in the air before he dropped it to his side, "It’s me."
This was something he had been dreaming of every night since coming back. He dreamed of reuniting with you, of touching you again, of loving you again. But now that the opportunity was an inch away from him, he was worried that his last chance at love had died within the flames of the warehouse that night.
You stayed still, eyes flickering over him, starting with the mop of dark curls on the top of his head and raking down his face, the same features you remembered had grown more masculine. You lingered on the different scars littering his skin, analysing every inch of him with concentration that made him want to shuffle uneasily.
Your expression began to melt into uncertainty and longing the more you continued to stare at him before you suddenly gasped and stepped back, "You’re crazy, (Y/N). He's gone, this isn't really happening."
He grasped the window just as you began to close it shut, "Please, don't. I’m here, baby, I’m really here."
You stared at the hand holding your window open with furrowed brows; you hadn't expected this illusion to retaliate against you trying to end this dream.
You never opened the windows of your apartment, especially not at night. You never wanted to invite Gotham’s smog inside your home but for some reason tonight your heart had tugged you toward it with such power you thought a breath of fresh air would have done you some good.
Why? Why tonight of all nights had you opened the window? Had you even opened the window in the first place? Or had this been a cruel game played by your mind while you were asleep?
"You died," you whispered, voice barely above a decibel, "I saw you dead. You aren't really here. This doesn't make any sense."
You wanted to touch him, you wanted to feel his beating heart underneath your fingertips but you knew that he would evaporate into smoke the second you reached for him like all the other times and even though you knew you would breakdown the second you woke up from the dream, you wanted to continue looking at him and drink in his presence that you had missed so much.
Gloved fingers lifted your chin so your wet eyes could meet his and tears began streaming down your cheeks in thick rivulets, your chest collapsing from the weight of your sobs.
"I know it doesn't make any sense, but I’m here. I’m really here. And I’ve missed you so much."
You shook your head, "You’re not. You're dead."
His arms circled around you, and he brought you into a hug. Your cheek rested against the kevlar of his suit, hips digging into the windowsill as you continued to sob and despite knowing that he wasn't really here, your chest began to fill with warmth.
"I’m here, (Y/N)."
Jason stole what little breath you had left in your lungs when he leant down to capture your lips in a firm kiss, as if trying to prove to you that he was here in the flesh, with fresh blood pumping through his veins.
You sobbed against his lips and licked into his mouth, hands coming up to grasp at his hair while his own curved your back into him, melding your bodies into one.
Heavy boots thumped against your floors, knees knocking in his effort to climb through the window and shut it behind him before pressing you against it. He quickly threw off his utility belt before you had wrapped your legs around his waist to prevent any of his weapons accidentally hurting you.
You cupped his jaw, thumb brushing against the peak of his cheekbone. The action had Jason’s eyes rolling back in ecstasy, every single touch setting his body on fire, each nerve ending sparking with electricity. He kissed you harder, refusing to pull away even though he knew you were getting breathless. He could hear your gasps for air every time you parted but you still dragged him back toward you with a hand clutching the roots of his hair.
He couldn't stop, wanting to lose himself in your very soul. He could feel the heat of your body pressing against him, he could smell the familiar scent of your shampoo, his ears were filled with the sound of your sighs and your lips smacking, his tongue tasted the salt of your tears mixed with the sharp chill of spearmint tea.
He finally pulled away when you had placed a hand on his chest, pressing his forehead against you, watching with intense passion as you tried to catch your breath, his grip on your thighs not loosening.
You trailed wet lips down his throat, listening to his quiet sighs until your lips reached his jugular. You could feel his veins pulse with life underneath your lips and your chest began pounding, butterflies beginning to erupt through you.
"You’re really here? You're alive? H-how is that even possible?"
Jason nodded, only realizing then that his eyes were filling up with tears, lashes and cheeks wet once you had begun to stroke the skin beneath his ear.
"I missed you so much." you confessed, voice breaking and brows furrowing in despair.
"I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn't come sooner, I should've-I should've come sooner. I’m sorry." he whispered, trailing his lips along your shoulder, hiding his face into the crook of your neck and you sighed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.
"You’re here," you whispered, chest shaking with a mix of sobs and elated giggles, "You're really here. You're finally here."
You both remained there, your back pressed against the frosted glass window that had fogged up slightly, legs wrapped tightly around his waist, chests pressed together.
"I’m here."
Forever Taglist:
@simonsbluee
@notslaybabes
@superheroesaremyjam113263
@writers-whirlwind
DC Taglist:
@tchatso
@p--e--a--c--h--e--s
@sometimeseverythingsucks
@sokkas-honour
@unstable1902
@lostgirlheart
@missdisapear
@tadpole-san
@isawachickeninatree
@uxavity
@battlenix
@capricorn-stark
@evermoore580
@dumbbitchgalore
@fuckingjinkies
@some-lovely-day
@that-one-fangirl69
#jason todd headcanon#jason todd fic#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd oneshot#jason todd fanfic#jason todd drabble#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#jason todd imagine#red hood#red hood x reader#batfam x reader#batfam#batfam imagine#batfam oneshot#dc titans x reader#dc titans#dc titans jason todd#dc titans oneshot
447 notes
·
View notes