#sorry i dont know how to do below the cut shit

[cuttedgrl]

tw sh

sfx realistic it's not real :3

hi guys first post !!

i went a bit too ham on the right leg ( or just in general probably )

venting below ur free to click off if you don't wanna read

anyway i did all this because the people i thought were my best friends started verbally harassing me nd made me feel worthless nd shit nd i don't know why i trusted them in the first place they were acting like middle school bullies like ur 16 nd 17 not 12 grow tf up

i have a trauma related to being dogpiled nd insulted online nd it definitely affected how i acted theu made me have an anxiety attack at .least onr of em apologized the other is not sorry whatsoevr nd doesn't gaf

lowkey regretting it a bit bc i have a doctor's appt on friday morning nd my mom's tryna get me put in a residential program nd get my doctor to refer me to it if they even can do that , the plan is im gona pretene to be sane and normal but it's gonna be hard if they see this shit so im trying to make it fade asap so i can play it off as old scars

also they sting so bad i had to take tylenol like yes i cut myself but tskk the stinging constantly is worse than the feeling of being sliced

i am way too sensitive to how people perceive me . like mf if u have an issue with me TELL ME how tf else will i know otherwise how can i fix it if i dont know theres a problem

i haven't cut this bad in literal years i don't even know if ive cut this bad before

rant over class dismissed

[wettvagina]

'ON THAT BITCH'

warnings: p in v , creampie , cowgirl , reverse cowgirl , backshots a/n: a short smut on how aot men fuck you, took a break from tumblr cuz I had tests for like 2 weeks but theyre finally over so im back & im readyyyyyy so be prepared for a lot of smut

EREN

noww, first and foremost, we all know eren gives the most toecurling, stomach flipping, pussy clenching backshots known to man, he'll put his foot up on the bed, that way his dick is angled to dig even deeper into your damp pussy. & dont start on the shit he says, you know he's praising you from behind as he watches your ass recoil onto him...on a good day. on a bad day however, he'll slut you out like he fucking owns you, im talking about fucking you like an animal, he'll make you cum so much times you'll literally collapse, but he's still fucking you, he'd slap your ass so much times that it'd turn red.

"Fuckkkk!" you moaned out, "Stop- stop, it's too much." you wailed, hands trembling as you grip onto the white sheets, "Oh stop, Now you want me to stop." he laughs behind you, increasing the pace at which he's thrusting into you, you orgasmed for the third time literally five minutes ago, and this man would not rest. "Fuck- I'm sorry." you cry, "Please just-" you cut off yourself with a choking moan, "-slow down." you whimper as your knees began aching, he had you face down, ass up for one hour straight, his dick plunging in and out of your pussy repeatedly, round after round, the vehement thrusts at the start now turned into rough, sloppy pounding as he punished you for disturbing him while he was on his game. "Shit." Eren moaned behind you, grabbing at one cheek with his left hand and slapping the fuck out of your other cheek with his right hand. You barely processed anything besides the expanding string in your stomach, tightening once again, "Oh shit, I'm gonna-" upon hearing those words, Eren pounded into you relentlessly, driving you towards your climax, for the fourth time tonight. "Yeah, c'mon." Eren groaned as he felt your pussy clamp around his dick, causing his thrusts to stuttuer, he screwed his eyebrows together as he clenched his jaw, "Fuck, fuck, fuck." he muttered as he came inside of you, he felt the moistness of both his come and yours coat his cock. He scoffed as he gave your ass one last slap, watching how your weak knees finally gave out.

ARMIN

armin is a whiny little bitch, duhh, yeah his dick is gigantic but he acts like it's a needle or something, afraid to even be the slightest bit rough with you, sorry to say but he cannot fuck you to save his own life, like he acts like such a virgin you literally have to do the work by yourself, and honestly maybe you kinda enjoy it, he enjoys it more though and you can tell, from the way his eyes were looking up at you, as his fingers dug into the flesh of your waist, he'd moan like a bitch in heat and sometimes even cry when you overstimulate him.

"N-no, not again." he whimpers from below you, "Fuck you mean not again, you make me do all the work so I'm gonna help myself out too." you groan, bouncing on his dick with your feet flat on the ground, Armin had came in you already but you didn't even come once, so of course you were gonna use him until you came. "Shit-- slow down." you hear him whine beneath you as he uses his hands to slow your movements. You halt at your movements and you could feel Armin's breaths slow, your knees dug into the ground and you placed your hands on his broad shoulders, using the strength of your knees, you pushed yourself up and down his length before simply settling yourself on his cock, you looked down at him before you started grinding onto his length, "Shitt." you moaned as your hips traced onto his skin, you heard Armin groan under you as you neared your orgasm, he felt himself near his climax too, and with a final draw of your hips you creamed on his cock, your eyes rolled back into your head as Armin's whines and moans filled the room.

JEAN

lets get one thing straighttt, jean has a horse cock, it's literally massive, like gut tearing, but definitely a pleasure weapon, usually you'd enjoy it when he fucks you in missionary or maybe even in a mating press, you enjoy doggy too. but his alltime favorite was reverse cowgirl, for obvious reasons. he loveddd to watch you bounce on him and enjoyed seeing your ass jump each time you landed, eventually when you were tired he'd thrust up into you to get the job done.

Your back dimples were all that Jean eyed before his gaze lingered down onto your plump ass, he'd watch as you bounced on his cock, your ass slapping onto the skin of his lower stomach, he'd groan beneath you as you rested your chin on your own shoulder to look back at him, once your eyes met he smirked, causing you to pivot your hips, his dick was stretching you and you felt it all in your stomach in this position, your eyelids grew heavy and you started grinding onto his dick, moaning as you held onto his knees to weakly bounce onto his cock, "Tired, ma?" he questioned, holding onto your hips before he fucked up into you, making you whine at his sudden movement in your pussy, he fucked into your hole at a godly pace and you felt yourself tighten around his dick when you felt the vein in his cock pulse, you squirted all over his cock as he slowed his thrusts, his moist cock, drawing out of you.

[chasedeys]

Hi do you have a favorite moment between Joe and Ja’Marr ?? Also how would you describe their relationship I’m new to this fandom and they are just so close and adorable

hi there!! thank you sm for coming by and sending this ask bc now there's like 2k+ words under the cut 😭 i feel like i should apologize profusely for the unchecked word vomit oh my god

to start off, like would you believe me if i said i’ve been a fan of the bengals for like a month :')) started ts during the week leading up to the first regular season game when jamarrs contract literally gripped me with the drama of it all. so for all my word vomit below feel free to fact check me ahaha

you asked me for a favorite moment for joemarr and i start describing their entire life together i am so very sorry, but:

on the top of my head literally just two weeks ago. this 63 yarder jamarr and joe made that led to an mildly feral celly where they just. didn’t know how to act right and got made fun of for not doing a cool celly?? this insane anon ask i sent before i caved and made a sideblog was actually just my word vomit over it 😭. And also last weeks celly, a whole lot softer and more tender with jamarr skipping then walking straight towards joe who held his arms out for him? thats crazyyyy he was expected! he was welcomed!! he was loved!!! the way one of the fired up coach just let joemarr have their intimate little moment before slapping jamarrs shoulders in joy is also crazy to me 😵‍💫 and just this screenshot of that celly where they’re just wrapped around each other right in front of their sidelines. the fuck. watched that shit sick to my stomachhhh i had enoughhhh.

this edit with the compilation of their post-tds pinky shakes oh my goddd. just every time they do pinky shakes!! who does that!!!! the softest possible way they can make a handshake (since college my god) in a status quo where you make the most elaborate handshakes to look cool and spread joy and burn up adrenaline but these two chose to do a quick twist of their pinky fingers (the symbolism of it alllll how dare theyy) and pressing knuckles together for however long they want to. the roty award where they did their pinky shake is one of my favorites huhu

the lakers date…..the way i had no idea sam and dj reader were with them on this date until i see a full vid of lebron meeting them 😭 and the lore goes crazyyy for this whole thing bc apparently joe was having the shittiest week in arizona and jamarr made an obscure ig story that he arrived in az before deleting it (like whyyyy would he do that) and then boom. they’re in the lakers game in lsu/lakers colors. and jamarr did that arms around shoulder thing that blows my mind because what the fuck is wrong with him why would he do that in front of lebron james and anthony davis and like national tv idk. joe also clapped (??? for whatever reason this fucking dork my godd) his hands right in front of jamarrs face when jamarr was being introduced to the stadium.

THE WEIRD CLOTHES PAIRING THING IS INSANE TO ME TOO. they do it in such subtle ways that you just think its a coincidence and you're delusional and it probably is but!! but??? they went to the game wearing yellow and purple (color coordinating lakers colors!! if i were on a date i would also do that cringy shit!!) that is also coincidentally lsu colors! another theory is they each chose to wear lakers colors without the other knowing of which this is just another case of soulmatism. the matching shoes during week 3! the sort of matching color schemes for their away game airport fits! last week both wearing rick owens apparently idk?? no idea if they've done this before this season btw i just got here lol. this is reaching ofc but very fun to think of!

jamarr being batshit crazy with his words abt joe. 'he's like a god to me' 'trying playing without my favorite quarterback' 'i told him dont scare me like that again. he knows how to slide he's just hard headed' 'im here for the future, for him. i want you to be here for the future' (this was abt joe playing through an injury :)) etc etc. something about 'just keep winning as many championships together' or like 'me and him come as package' or something fairy tale ish like that idk man he's crazy i could make something up only to be bamboozled because he has in fact said shit like it before. and like his refusal to consider anyone but joe for the no. 1 qb hhh. somebody needs to put him in an mri and study his brain when shown a picture of joe burrow bc like?? the way jake had to prove himself before jamarr even followed him on ig is ??? pls be normal jamarr i beg of u (he's perfect the way he is).

while jamarrs insane with his words, joes insane with his actions!! the lsu sec championship ball he gave to jamarr. that little look like ‘hey you want it? okay its rightfully yours' mkayy crazy ass!!! jamarrs lsu championship game worn jersey joe asked for and worn for their first game back in nola. just what the fuck went through joes mind that led to this. their dads (both named jimmy both close since lsu too, cute!) were asked about their fav joe game day fit they said the jamarrs lsu jersey 😃! in laws approving your partner of choice etc. this is jimmy chases interview regarding joemarr too btw haha. anyway back to joe being insane—the demented way joe runs to jamarr and hops around him and slams his helmet to his when jamarr makes plays. and like again this is speculation as in no citation sorry but jamarrs reason for going to cincy is definitely in part because of joe?? joe being the one to text him pack your bags you’re going to cincy is crazyyy. firmly believe joe talked him up and asked for him! when they last parted before joe went to cincy did they make a pact that they would play in a team together again? did jamarr reach out when joes 2020 season ending injurys news reached him? did he watch him go down that first time?

also during their lsu days they interviewed the wr core and they were asked abt who joe likes best (stupid ass question in my opinion btw. why would they ask that), it was so....sooooo......like jamarr was so shy and unsure!! he's like 'is it..me?' and terrace going 'he does like throwing to jamarr most' and then jamarr bursting into embarrassed laughter like okay??? okay 😭😭 fine okay be cute or whatever. in my mind back then jamarr was a whole lot more unsure of his presence in joes life because hes super young, his qb is literally 3 years older, its their first year playing together etc but i think being joe being upfront on asking jamarr to play with him in cincy (again speculation on my part no idea if this is true ha) just cements the little gremlin in his head that believes he has to be crazy about joe

their 2021 preseason jamarrs drops were apparently disgusting enough for people to shit on his entire life idk and crucify the bengals for drafting another wr but joe was so firm on his belief in jamarr! that's devotion babyyyy his clap back in the first post game presser was very much what were u saying abt the loml coded love that for them

last feb probowl dramaaa rumors of jamarr moving to houston bc he chirped at cj stroud that he knew cj wanted to play with him or smtg so he had to post this very emotional very sincere tweet and speak abt it in an interview 😭😭 just head empty no thoughts mouth racing! joe probably teased the ever living shit out of him 'so you’re moving to houston without telling me :( i had to find out through twitter :(('

just teasing each other in numerous occasions over each others speed??? that mic'ed up moment when joe teased jamarr over being slow! yelling out his name so many times just to say that he was a little slow and jamarr shooting back instantly with an incredulous ‘be serious. be serious.’ vs jamarr nagging joe over being slow ass hell during his 20 (?) yard rushing attempt and joe defending himself in the whiniest voice i have ever heard from him saying he had to wait for ted to block before him (ted then going what did i do? ted I’m sorry you had to be dragged into their weird mating dance banter) and also this gem of a jamarr tweet (x)

speaking of jamarrs twitter, 17yo him’s curiouscat answers that insanely aligns with joe is nothing short of crazy. they have not met or heard of each other then i don't think. but according to it he likes them older, smart, doesn't mind if they're taller, but he doesn't fw long distance so he flew his ass to ohio 😮‍💨. (also whooo be sending these asks high schoolers dear lordd 😭). the soulmatism between them is kinda crazy like joe being well over 3yrs his senior yet still they had a moment chance to play together during jamarrs freshie/sopho (?) year in college because joe chooses to transfer to lsu, and coach o taking a chance on him despite not playing for how many long, winning a championship (!!) together for that one year that they could play together, and saying fuck that only one year bullshit before flying jamarrs ass right to cincy so they could play 4 and counting more years together.

jamarr talking abt where it apparently clicked for joe and jamarr that joe can throw to jamarr and jamarr would be right there to catch it haha. like he didn't give a shit if people thought it was joes big life changing moment hes just insisting that that was when he and joe really clicked!

literally my favorite mic'ed up moment between them. the teasing! the nagging! 'you see the big blue thing' 'don't do me that' 'that's the endzone' then the laugh!!!! ‘he’s gonna get mad at me when i tell him this shit' then gesturing joe over like hes a cat my god jamarr 'you couldnt overthrow me?' a very affronted 'my guy you were wide open' aughuhghuhhguu joy love laughter etc. (side note can't help myself sorry pretty sure the reason joe teased him about the endzone is bc jamarr could’ve gone for it but got tackled bc he was kinda slow to start sprinting and when he did he just sat there legs out shoulders dropped looking disappointed but cute as all hell i love him sm)

sooo many other moments because theyve literally been in each others lives for over five years!!!! recently joe saying jamarr playing is fun to watch 😵‍💫, jamarr saying numerous times that joes a tough mfer but also hard-headed and how he's also hard-headed but at least he listens (my guy....reflect again), that article of jamarr knocking on doors for a house near joe that he denied i think but he also said that he kept his stuff in joes house before he got his own, that jamarr gq shoot where he went insane and lied (or did he?) about buying joe clothes that just led to the ridiculous clothes saga that is still unsolved to this day and that tb and tee very obviously teased him over and somehow the socmed team clowned him on too 😭

etc etc stop me please

AND ANYWAYSSS MOVING ON:

how i would describe their relationship is ride or die with incredibly similar way of living by which i mean they live and breathe a sport they’re so talented in and they play to win and beat themselves up for doing bad in but also with the awkwardness of knowing they’re two vastly different people with different ways of seeing things and handling things but also even with that steadfast difference of being they also believe in each other in a truly outrageous way that it translates to them saying and being insane about each other (hence the list above) with little to no shame. (i hope this makes sense because im not reading all that over again wow)

like they’re so complicated to me!! by all means i don’t actually know these two or what they’re really like, but surface level they’re so different! their temperament is literally 180, joes cool and steady persona, incapable of being ruffled, closed off, moments of silliness he brings out only in certain situations, smart little quips he gives out at times like he can’t help himself vs exuberant open extroverted blustering to hide his shyness runs his mouth always down to fight jamarr chase. they couldn’t be more different! so how can they read each other so well? how can they run routes and plays with minute changes whilst running from men trying to take them down between one heartbeat to the next? how is it that jamarr is so down bad for this man that he can just say the shit he does about him? how much trust does joe have in this man that he shuts down every bad shit anybody tries to tell him or coax him to say? something about /always/ choosing the other despite everything is always a thing that attracts me to a ship.

also after that infamous kc game shove, i definitely think they had a very tough heart to heart where jamarr maybe spills his full feelings over the contract and how he hasn’t been getting the ball to actually make big plays and how his worth as a wr1 is being brought to question and joe probably spills on his own feelings on how jamarr held out so long and had last minute (?) changes of playing that week one ramps up joes own anxiety and hang ups like i definitely feel like he had some unchecked anxiety over playing with his wrist that first game that jamarr probably said something incredibly insane yet uplifting about in response. the next game its like they mended some unseen frayed stitch of their connection! first drive banger of a 41 yarder td for jamarr, two tuddys for the game in fact lol!! joe gets him his deep ball, then the insane way joe rushed at him after his 63 yarder in the next game, its like that first touchdown against minnesota again. i just wish the very best for them, to keep making these insane passes and insane runs they've been making since lsu.

anyway i feel like a lot of my rambling is for jamarr sorry 😭 he’s like a drug to me such an interesting person i base my thoughts around him. I feel obliged to say i wrote my first ever fic and its them lmao and i link this just as a fair warning to everyone that i very obviously write and ramble in the tags like im in love with jamarr, definitely with some bias, and I’m learning how not to be ashamed of that !

also nobody asked but scrolling through the hell that is my photo gallery i just have to share my favorite tee photo which is coincidentally the mock photoshoot the bengals socmed team made them do to clown jamarrs gq shoot ahaha

hearts ❤️ thank u for reading all the way through :"))

[snghnlvr]

ok hear me out.. a contract/arranged marriage with any enha member, cliche stuff like yall not getting along n stuff plus yall prolly hate eo's guts. however one day, you got caught in some situation with a guy (idk ur ex or smth) which caused them to be jealous n yea yall fluff things out 🤭🤭

sign me up. | lee heeseung

lee heeseung x fem reader

synopsis : heeseung may have gotten a bit overboard when he saw your ex.

includes : 1.3k words | angst | little fluff towards the ending | haechan appearance! | abusive past relationship | heeseung is not jealous … sorry he’s more … angry :)

extra : first heeseung work!! | i literally change the scenario last minute because i find angry tuexdo heeseung quite hot <3 | little fluff because they like to argue | yn is petty but heeseung doesn’t care | bad employees talking shit about heeseung 👎 | heeseung saves the day!! | this picture of heeseung as a reference … MADE ME FERAL💢💢

(p.s no i’m not normalizing abusive relationships.)

likes, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3

[below the cut]

you’re staring at your untouched plate of food in front of you. the low volume of chattering and jazz music playing, it made you be in a sea of thoughts.

the fabric of your dress made you feel queasy, questioning as to why you’re the person being told to do this. it felt weird. the atmosphere felt weird overall. it didn’t feel right to be in this situation.

your sweaty fingertips lingered around your bare thigh.

the lights reflected on your white plate.

the smoke of the food disappeared into thin air without you noticing.

you didn’t want to spend your night like this.

you didn’t like the feeling of someone that you utterly hate your guts with, in front of you.

unwavering and eyes just wandering around in boredom, no one dared to speak.

your eyes were filled with hatred with every second spent with your husband. your husband that you were arranged for marriage with. you couldn’t reject - you couldn’t even say no because both parents wanted this opportunity to raise their reputation for their jobs. sometimes you hated being rich and just want to be born in a normal life.

you hated lee heeseung with all of your guts because how cocky he is as an individual. with being born with a silver spoon, he doesn’t shut up with his mouth and likes to irritate you because he’s ‘always right’. if someone doesn’t like his idea, he would immediately fire him.

in the evening of 7:00pm, heeseung’s mother arranged dinner for the both of you just to spend more time as a husband and wife.

“you’re gonna have to eat the pasta one way or another.”

you rolled your eyes at your husband’s words. “you could’ve said no to your mother’s request. i know you dont wanna be here either.” you shrugged.

you looked at heeseung as he wears a hardened expression at the mention of earlier.

“it’s my mother, i can’t just say no to her.”

you scoffed at his words. you find it ironic how he doesn’t say no to his mom but says no to his wife.

when you walked into your bedroom, there was a tuxedo and a matching dress on the bed. you sighed. you admit that it’s a beautiful piece, you just felt like it didn’t belong onto your body.

“oh but when i have a say in something, you say no?” you tilted your head to the side, acting confused towards heeseung who seemed bothered with your words. “what a reliable and caring husband to have.” you sarcastically spitted.

“i am considerate with your words. you’re just making reckless decisions and not understanding my perspective.” heeseung’s fist curled up on his lap. you noticed how intense he was staring at you but you didn’t falter.

“your perspective? all i’m saying that as your wife, i should have the privilege to work alongside with you!”

“maybe if you think before speaking you probably would!”

there was nothing but tension as you eyed heeseung without flinching. you became quiet as you realized that you’re in a public environment. it would be pointless to argue here.

heeseung mentioned earlier on how you talked back to his employees and rejected their ideas to make your own ideas stand out to the lee family. you can’t blame yourself, you were just helping your husband not fall into their tricks and make his branding fall into shambles.

you’re well aware of his reputation among his workers. he’s not very well liked because of his attitude. although you felt a bit bad for the bad mouthing, you also agreed on some of their pointers but you kept your mouth shut.

“i was just helping..” you rolled your eyes, leaning back to your chair with your arms crossed and your mouth pouting as you speak.

“look y/n i know-”

“whatever,” you interrupted his words. you didn’t want to hear what he was gonna say.

you stood up after you pulled your purse to your shoulder. “i’m going to the restroom.” you didn’t look at heeseung’s eyes and walked straight to the restroom with your heels clinking away.

heeseung eyed you with the tip of his tongue touching his lip. he took a deep breath in as you shamelessly walked away. he knows how petty you can be during an argument.

however, he can’t help but let his eyes linger your body a bit longer than usually as you disappear from his sight.

as you finished washing your hands and drying them out, you walked outside with your head cooled off.

“y/n.” you turned around only to be shocked from seeing someone very familiar.

“haechan?” you called out softly to make sure it’s the right person you’re looking to.

the male figure smiled upon your calling.

then your heart dropped.

your intuition was correct. your ex is under the same building as you. it’s been two years since you’ve maren haechan especially when you decided to break up with him because he was starting to become violent towards you. as selfish you are, you immediately called it off which obviously pissed haechan off.

“i knew my mind wasn’t playing tricks.” haechan started to take a step closer to you as you were busy staring at haechan at how physically he has changed, making you worried.

you cursed at whoever made the hallway from the dining area to the restroom so far.

“how are you y/n?” you shivered at the way he said your name. with much venom. you hated the way that he’s smirking at you when he saw that you became frozen.

you gulped. your eyes trailed to the floor in front of you so you try to walk as fast as you can without your heartbeat dropping to the floor.

flashbacks from your relationship occurred in your head. thoughts of haechan hitting and verbally abusing you made your body be in cold sweat.

before you can take two more steps, you felt your wrist being tugged forcefully. as your body instinctively turned around, it all went too fast when your head was pounded to the concrete wall and a hand choked around your neck, making you cough and gasp for air.

you became dizzy as the pain began to consume your head. you lowered your head, trying to redeem consciousness as you kept your hand on haechan’s grip whom never wants to let go.

“you bastard!”

then hand from your neck disappeared. your body slowly slide down to the wooden floor as you heard multiple gasps around you.

you try to look across at what was happening and you were too shocked to process your husband currently beating the living shit out of your ex.

“don’t fucking touch my wife like that you hear me!?” you heard heeseung’s voice being laced with nothing but anger and viciousness as his body was on topped of haechan, gripping his collar and eyeing him with every death stare. “you deserve to go to jail, you fucker!” you heard another groan from haechan

you noticed a bit of blood on the corner of haechan’s lips before coughing on air.

a staff came up to you, giving you their immediate attention. “are you okay?” they asked gently as you nodded continuously. “yes..” you breathe out.

“y/n-“ heeseung’s hands softly gripped your jaw, making you turn to him. you can obviously hear how worried he sounded and how angry he looked. “are you okay? what did that fucker do to you?” heeseung stared at the redness of your neck, indicating how rough haechan was to you.

“i’m sorry..” you whispered, trying to look up at him but you eyes kept closing because of the pain. “i’m sorry about earlier..” you whimpered when heeseung gently pressed on the spot that your head was badly hit in.

although you may have hate heeseung’s guts but he’s the only person who understands your struggles with being born as a silver spoon. sometimes both you go have deep conversations late at night alone in your bedroom, whether he talks first or you.

“no shut up, don’t mention about that right now.” you can hear the irritation of his voice that always never fails to make you giggle.

“we’re going home and i’m making that jerk rot in hell.” compared to heeseung’s harsh words, his hold on you was very gentle and delicate. his hand was holding your waist as his other hand was around your head, making sure that he doesn’t touch the injured area. your heart was beating fast because everything happened too fast - seeing your ex for the first time in 2 years and heeseung being in your arms in less than a minute.

“you’re cute when you’re mad.” you suddenly confessed as you dug your head to his chest in order to not look at haechan being escorted away from the staff. heeseung noticed as he kept your body close to his. you didn’t say anything, and he knew. he just silently lets you do what he wants and it makes your heart flutter whenever he does this to you.

with heeseung’s brave soul, he continued to stare at haechan until he’s out of his sight. you slowly fell asleep in heeseung’s warm arms protecting your figure until the ambulance arrives.

“don’t worry y/n, i’m here with you.” were the last words that you heard before falling asleep in his arms.

hope you enjoyed<3 MERRY CHRISTMAS <33

[paintedkinzy-88]

(So sorry i feel like im spamkmg yoyr ask box but i just rotate this au around in my brain like microve)

So i was checking out the posts linked through your coi au master post, and this part:

Did this this cut more deep than Donnie intended? Like does Leo still think about this one line even months past? Like does he think, as hes going on his nightly falling/flying sesions how his brothers couldnt even think of leaving april behind but didn't hesitate to leave him behind

Meanwhile donnie and bros dont see it that that. They see leo as equal, even without wings, they never once thought of it as leaving him behind. Because hes their brother, theyd NEVER leave him behind.

But then that got me thinking... did they accidentally like ACTUALLY leave leo behind that first night donnie made his wings. Cause i can see donnie and the ither two being caught up in the joy of flying together for the first time, maybe going too fast for leo to keep up on the rooftops, cementing the idea in his head that his bros dont need him.

This is long winded lol i just got angst on my mind 😭

Spam me all you want!! I may not be able to promise I’ll get to every ask I ever receive, I just don’t have that time, but I CAN promise that I see, read, and overthink everything anyone sends me (ง’̀-‘́)ง So send away!!

As for your question: Absolutely, yes, that moment struck Leo down to his core — but not like. Personally. He knows Donnie didn’t mean it like that! Realistically, he understands that his brothers/sister care just as much about him as he does about them. They’d never purposefully leave him behind!! At the end of the day, he trusts that, should he ever get seriously knocked down, his family would turn right back around to help him get back up.

But he still has a MAJOR barrier that he sees between them. One that Donnie AND April are now able to literally fly over. And now that he’s outnumbered, that wall feels even higher than before. He’s not alone, not ever, but it certainly feels like it sometimes…

And all of that is exactly why he doesn’t want to say anything. He not only feels a little silly to have this impossible dream in the first place (his hoard is literally birds and butterflies and shit, that’s so weird and pathetic, isn’t it???), but he doesn’t WANT them to worry about him. He doesn’t want them to turn tail and come back just to make sure he’s keeping up with them. He can’t hold them back like that!

It’s better to pretend he’s on the same level, train himself into the ground (even literally if that’s what it takes) to prove he’s on the same level, make them focus on his stellar swimming skills that are (to them) on par to their flying, than for them to ever realize that all he’ll ever do is look up at them from below.

Also, yes, after Dee made his first fully functioning flight pack, they all went on a quick flight around the city. April was the one to suggest they move it to the ocean so Leo could at least keep up with them and cheer them on…

[jaemified]

last christmas | part 2

“this year, to save me from tears ; ill give it to someone special.”

❆ pairing ; strangers to ?? park gunwook x fem reader

❆ genre ; fluff, slight drama +(ft taesan/jaehyun of bnd and yunjin of lsrfm ^^)

❆ warnings ; swearing, and kinda toxic relationships

❆ wordcount ; 2.4k

❆ synopsis ; beginning your second year of college and you feel youve hit rock bottom. on your own after your ex kicked you out, and taking on a seasonal job at a christmas shop to pay off student loans? everythings gone to shit. but then, you see him for the first time. and you realize there really was a little light in the darkness — your someone special.

♡ kona speaks ! - vaguely follows the plot of the film last christmas (2 part story)

read below the cut !

you cant say you were all to proud of yourself now.

sure, you were a pretty incredible student by high school graduation, with a 3.9 gpa and all (not to mention making it to seoul national university with your beloved boyfriend).

but, that was a year ago.

who wouldve thought it was possible for your life to go so far downhill, in just a span of roughly over 12 months?

your parents had found a better job opportunity in london, but your mom wanted you and your brother to be nearby.

meaning doing so without running it by you of course, which led to her enrolling you into imperial college as a foreign transfer student.

your boyfriend was pretty upset, but nevertheless, followed you despite your best efforts telling him not to (which meant him forfeiting his scholarship at snu).

once your family first heard he would follow suit to london, they gave you an ultimatum. and stupidly, you chose love over family.

they never approved of him anyway.

it was fine for the meanwhile.

at least until you broke up, and he decided to place the blame on you.

it was your flat you bought with your own money anyway. what did he ever do for you? how dare he kick you out of your own home!

-

you watched while gyuvin pulled your luggage out the closet, pushing it towards you.

“what the hell are you doing!” you exclaimed as he began to pull your clothes off hangers and throw them towards your direction.

“helping you leave.” he muttered.

“what did i even do? you just wake up one day and decide its my fault you followed me to another continent despite me saying you shouldnt? i told you not to leave your dreams behind, and you chose to ignore me!”

“well maybe you didnt try hard enough! i just know that i dont feel the same about you now as i did then.”

“so thats it?” you scoffed. “you realize this is my apartment? i pay the rent. you just practically live here for free. you cant just kick me out of my own home!”

he only ignored you and shoved piles upon piles of clothing into 2 separate suitcases, before gently escorting you to the door.

“gyuvin. gyuv! kim gyuvin! you cant just leave me here!” you begged.

“im sorry y/n. but its over. maybe if you hadnt taken all that mattered to me we couldve worked out.” gyuvin spoke before slowly closing the door, leaving you out in the cold wearing only pajamas.

“what the fuck am i supposed to do now..” you whispered to yourself, thinking of the only possible places to go.

sure your number of options was minimal, but you began with the only person you thought you could count on anyway.

“what the hell are you doing here?” taesan expressed in shock while he stared at you standing at his front door.

“need somewhere to crash.. surprise?” you shrugged jokingly, trying to lighten the mood as you and your brother werent on the brightest terms.

“goodbye y/n.” he sighed as he turned to lock you out.

“han taesan you let me in this instant! you cant just leave me to die in the middle winter!” you exclaimed, stepping through the door frame so it couldnt close.

“wheres gyuvin?” he scoffed. “i mean, youre the one who left me with mom and dad to buy a house for him anyway.”

“we broke up. blamed me and said i was the reason he lost everything in seoul or whatever. and he still kicked me out of MY home.”

taesan let out a heavy breath, looking around before pushing the door out more for you to walk through.

“..you mean it?” you pondered hesitantly.

“i suppose. i know we warned you about him and all, but youre still my baby sister.” he half heartedly grinned, pointing his head in the direction of his hallway as a gesture for you to come in.

you knew he was still mad at you despite not showing it, but knowing your brother, hes still someone who you could rely on in any situation.

“yeah. and uh- just a heads up, i still live with jaehyun and leehan, plus we dont have an extra room so.. we’ll just figure it out later.”

“thank you.”

-

a week later and you were doing better than before. though it wasnt easy to forget the incident, you still managed with the new living situation and all.

you woke up bright and early the following morning for work, ready to sell christmas ornaments for the rest of your life under your boss, huh yunjin, as you were now on break from school.

considering jaehyuns bed wasnt all too comfortable, you still slept pretty well. youre grateful he took the couch for you during that first week. ‘maybe ill get him something as a thank you.’

“what are you doing up so early?” taesan asked, holding off on the toast he was about to eat as he watched you rush downstairs.

“got work. not like dads willing to pay student loans anymore right?”

“the christmas shop, still?” jaehyun asked from his seat on the couch.”

“cant have a full time job as a full time student. it just worked out while im on christmas break.”

your brother nudged you in your stomach, motioning for you to thank his friend for his deed.

“-oh and thanks for taking the couch. i owe you. if you want food or anything ill cover the cost and pick it up in return.” you continued.

“its fine. i get it, the last few days were rough. dont worry about it.” he smiled.

-

after a quick 10ish (or so) minute walk to the street side store you worked at, you realized you were about 5 minutes past the time you were meant to clock in for your shift.

walking into the store, it was no surprise it was already crowded by 8:36am seeing as christmas was 2 weeks away now.

“y/n! y/n get over here! where is your uniform?” yunjin questioned as more of a whisper yell.

before you got the chance to reply, she quickly cut you off and said, “nevermind that. just please hurry to change and come help me with all these people!”

you wave off her dismissive behavior, and speed walk to the bathroom, making sure to pass the lockers to grab your uniform on the way.

“i forgot how itchy this was..” you grumble as you slip on the ugly elf costume yet again before leaving to the front desk.

“welcome in! please let us know if theres anything you need help with!” yunjin smiled as another person walks through the door, putting on her customer service voice.

“guess you dont need me anymore?” you asked jokingly, noticing there was no one within a 10 foot distance of the check out line.

“why must you take so long to change? i only had enough time to help half those people. the other half left after mr smith came in to return all the ornaments he broke again. he really knows how to hold up a line.” she sighed, moving in the direction of a huge box of broken material.

“you cant keep letting them return damaged product. we are losing enough money as is, santa.” you gestured to her new character change yet again as you realize where a good chunk of the budget went. “what was wrong with the reindeer costume?”

“it didnt make it clear that im the owner. the shop is called santas workshop dont you know? cant call it santas workshop if theres no santa.”

you laughed brightly at yunjin while she picked up the box to bring it to the back, just as another person walked in.

“welcome in!-” you call out, before cutting yourself off as you caught a glimpse of his face.

he was pretty gorgeous, you couldnt lie. from what you noticed, he had shortish black hair and big eyes to compliment his soft lips (not to mention his build was pretty insane too. he definitely works out).

the very same guy who caught your attention came to you shortly after, seeking some assistance on picking a gift, so you were happy to comply.

“im not sure what she’d like. its hard shopping for a 14 year old.” he said.

“what’s your relation to her? just like so i know how close you are so its easier to help.”

“my younger cousin. we arent that close, but its our first family gathering in a while and my mom wants me to get something for everyone. but shes always been.. far from an open book. so im lost”

you thought long and hard about what your cousins around that age like, before coming to a final decision.

you attempt to reach for the legos, but you almost fall over as it was just barely out of reach, sitting on one of the higher shelves.

carefully, he steadies you by holding your arm and reaches to grab the item you were aiming at.

“this?” the guy questions as he hands you the orchid lego set.

“yeah! im not sure if it suites her or anything but you cant go wrong with legos. the price isnt too bad and its suitable for anyone at any age for the most part.” you shrugged.

“that actually.. makes perfect sense. youre really good at your job, no? thank you.”

“no worries. if theres anything else i could help you with, weve got a new selection of stuffed animals your girlfriend might like.” you spoke like it was nothing, acting as if you werent just trying to get information.

“i actually.. dont..i don’t have a girlfriend.” he chuckled awkwardly as he brought up a hand to rub the back of his neck.

“oh really? im surprised someone like you doesnt have a pretty girl on your arm.” you said nonchalantly while you attempted to hide your smile (as if you were going to make a move).

“oh stop!” he waved off when you pointed out how red his ears were getting, assuming you only were trying to boast his ego (hes so unaware)((please get the hint)).

you walk back with him to the register so he could pay after realizing there wasnt much more he needed. “that’ll be 45 charged to your card.” you smiled.

“thank you, ms..?” trailing off as he notices he never actually got your name.

“han. y/n han. glad to be of assistance.”

“oh and- one more thing?”

“sure, what else?”

“what time does the store close?”

“10 at night. extended business hours every saturday.”

“surely youre joking? theres no one else here but you and the owner! thats in like 13 hours. youre working a 14 hour shift?”

“yeah but i get paid way extra so its fine, i really do need it. and yeah we are beyond understaffed but its alright.” you laugh, masking your exhaustion and dread with a bit of your lighthearted energy.

“really? i could never, must be so tiring.”

“it is, beyond imagination. but we do what we can.”

“get home safely then alright? its scary leaving that late especially considering the predators go after pretty ladies.”

“youre a tricky one arent you! how dare you mask that as an attempt to flirt.” you gasp playfully, “ill be fine, its not that far of a walk.”

“walk? youre not really walking home are you?” “well yeah, its not like i can drive when i dont have a car myself.”

“by any chance, might you need-”

“y/n! leave the poor man alone! i need you to stock the shelves in the ornaments section!” yunjin calls out from the storage room and interrupting the conversation.

“ill get to it.” you call back.

“well, i should get going then. it really was lovely meeting you.” he smiles.

“thank you, take care!” you reply, waving as he leaves.

it only hit you many hours later (quite literally an hour before you clock out) that you never got his name, and you regret it oh so much!

even yunjin felt pity for you, multitasking and listening to you ramble about the mysterious man despite all the work she had going on whilst you both sat in her office seeing as there were no customers beyond 9:30pm.

“why cant we close early if theres no one coming past a certain time? its not like anyone needs to be christmas shopping at.. 9:49 at night.”

“its just in case theres anyone who needs something, we cant miss a chance to make more money when we’re low on rent money.” she reminded.

“its only 11 minutes though.”

“and where do you have to be in 11 minutes? you live with your brother and his two roommates with no boyfriend and instead worry about a man you just met.”

“ouch, you need to go out more.”

“y/n you know i love you but i have no time for that nonsense. i need to have fun, yes, but money is essential. clubbing and drinking does not get you there, we both know that.”

-

finally, the dreaded 11 minutes were up and it was time to lock up after a crazy long shift. though, you cant say you were looking forward to walking home after standing in heels all day.

it was all most as if your prayers were answered (or just by a really strange coincidence(?)) that someone on a motorcycle stopped in front of you as you crossing the street.

“heard you needed a ride?” the guy from earlier said as he took off his helmet.

“what are you doing here? its late out.” you replied, acting calm as if your heart wasn’t beating out of your chest.

“cant leave you to walk alone in the dark, can i, pretty lady?”

“youre smart, ill give you that.” you smile when you feel your cheeks go hot.

“ill take you home. come on.”

-

maybe it wasnt the best idea to give a stranger your address, but he seemed nice enough, and pretty trustworthy to say the least.

you sat behind him as he drove through the streets, with your arms wrapped around his waist, your chest flush against his back as you wore the helmet he let you borrow.

he was so naturally warm you felt his body heat through the sweater he wore, thankfully keeping you from being to cold.

soon enough you were home, and he was walking you up to the front door.

“thank you for today even if it wasnt all that much, i had a lot of fun. you made my work day more.. bearable.” you smiled.

“of course, you can always call if you need a ride or anything. dont want you getting sick when its storm season.” he reminded before slipping you a postcard with his number on it.

“id love to get to know you more, but i just broke up with my boyfriend last week.. give me some time?”

sure you technically were the one who found him attractive first but, you never actually thought about initiating something more.

he smiled without a second thought, nodding his head slightly. “of course, i understand. just know ill be here, waiting.”

“wait! i never got your name?”

“ill see you later y/n!” he called out as he left, driving off in the opposite direction.

you sighed and unlocked the door with the spare key leehan gave you, and notice him sitting next to jaehyun when you walked in.

“you have a boyfriend and you didnt tell me? how could you! i thought we were friends.” leehan expressed dramatically from the couch as you took off your shoes at the door.

“not a boyfriend, just a friend. why were you even- whatever. wheres taesan?”

“in the bathroom.”

“thanks. uh- jaehyun is it okay if i change in your room since i left my clothes there?”

“go ahead.” he reassured. “oh! also, by the time you come back the pizza we ordered should be here too.”

you close the door behind you and pull out the index card from earlier to save the number as a contact. however, you couldnt help but smile as you read what it said below.

“your personal uber when you need it! +44 28xxx0xx29 -xoxo gunwook park :)”

[skyfallscotland]

hey! sorry for the stupid question but what do you mean with that violet is supposed to be in her rep era and why is it after chapter 4? maybe im stupid but i just dont get your post and its driving me nuts haha

Hey! Not a stupid question at all haha, I'll explain because I know there's a lot of non-swifties here!

So, I'm not sure if you need clarification on the whole thing or just how it relates to Onyx Storm, but "rep era" is a reference to Taylor Swift's Reputation album.

It's widely known as her 'revenge album' and came about after all the drama with Kanye and Kim where she got widely cancelled by everyone online. It's a darker aesthetic (black outfits, snakes, dark lips) but at its core it's about taking back control of your life when you've been taken advantage of and misunderstood.

Entering your 'rep era' is when you stop being a 'good girl' and become darker, more vengeful, more assertive and remove things from your life that no longer serve you.

Iconic lyrics include:

I'm sorry, the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now. Why? Oh...cause she's dead!

If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing, I don't regret it one bit 'cause he had it coming

They're burning all the witches even if you aren't one, so light me up

My reputation's never been worse so...you must like me for me

I got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined

Rebecca is a big swiftie and she's said that Onyx Storm is Violet's Reputation era, and that she listened to So It Goes... a lot while writing the book. For reference:

You know I'm not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you

So yeah, I've been expecting a darker, edgier, more vicious Violet Sorrengail who's lost her mother, has been betrayed by her country and stops taking everyone's shit and starts being more assertive and standing up for herself.

But, even if it is early days, I've read the first three chapters of Onyx Storm and— (spoilers below the cut)

I don't see that yet. I see the exact opposite. She's still allowing herself to get pushed around and just accepting people telling her this is how things are going to be when she saved their asses. They literally need her and her dragon. And she's just like oh...ok. BABE NO. Like??? Be in charge, this is your time. Threaten some people, god.

"We're still negotiating the return of our riot" LOL sorry but 1. they left, they're not yours. 2. So much for "we'll respect the independence of your riot", that lasted all of two seconds after they literally saved all your asses. What a joke. I would have simply ✨left✨

So anyway um...hope that helps?

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 173 spoilers and thoughts but it's mostly just me getting tonal whiplash but not in a bad way i actually like this and more below the cut

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.

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sorry i keep doing this (i.e. yelling about the very last panel of the ep instead of going chronologically) but i wanted to show this last panel first,,, idk how many alilloyd fans there are on tged-tumblr (tgedblr?) but i believe they'll be very happy about this panel and probably the next ep or so LOL

she's there for him again YAYYY YAYYYY but also what how did she get here WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?? HELP??

hopefully whatever happens after this will help alicia and lloyds relationship feel more balanced (rn its like fine but it definitely doesnt carry the same weight as llovier to me, simply bc we dont really see alicia and lloyd relying on each other in the same way javier and lloyd do - idk how else to put this but the "power balance" in their relationship feels different than lloviers if that makes sense, bc so often lloyd is doing things for alicia and that's just It yknow?)

anyway back to the top! we've got some really really nice panels of lloyd i just really like these in general,,, i like when he looks determined and serious and focused,,, it is cute

also explicitly mentioning this while also showing alicia IN the unfrozen time bubble with lloyd DOES make me worry a lil bit,,, what if smth happens,,, does fate still affect them when Most of the time across the world is frozen?? im scared,,, but also excited for more alicia lloyd scenes i can explain why in a bit,,, but also scared,,,

tyrant alicia looks cool as ever tho holy shit im VERY glad that the artist gave her a full set of armor and everything, so often we see fantasy stylized women's armor that really doesn't protect anything at all but alicia's armor is really nice and clean i like it,,,

also another panel of lloyd being cringe and javier being embarrassed,,, they're so stupid i love them . LET LLOYD BE CRINGE LET HIM BE FREE

this bit w artanis and the family was also super duper cute,,, little sillies,,, like treats,,,

seems like everyone will be safe for the time that they are frozen,,, thats good!!! at least i hope i am understanding this correctly

also thinking a LOT about these two panels bc,,, not only bc i really like how he looks in the second panel here, but also,,, well as i was reading this i hadnt realized that lloyd would be going off by HIMSELF to the mountains,,, i thought javier would go with him (bc he always does,,,)

i talked abt this when i reacted on twitter but like. javier asks if he's going by himself and lloyd goes "yeah it's fine" and javier doesn't question it, we don't see him objecting or anything,,, bc of course, lloyd will stay safe. that's what he says, so that's what'll be true. javier is also perfectly aware that lloyd can't be harmed by monsters, he's a sword master and has his singing. so the knight lets him go, bc this is a lloyd with a plan, and javier trusts his lord. but also it seems like javier doesnt really realize what exactly it is that lloyd is subjecting himself too. idk if he realizes that every time lloyd freezes time THATS whats freezing his heart; all the knight knows is that lloyd is dying, but the engineer has a solution so surely it's okay (it's not, lloyd is DYING IN THE COLD). jesus fuck

like i imagine if javier realized what exactly it is thats causing lloyd to Die is the exact stuff he's doing to stop fate and save everyone, he'd object immediately and try to find something else,,, but lloyd you fucking MARTYR u dont even say anything abt it and u GO OFF ALONE IN THE COLD WHAT ARE DOING WHAT ARE YOU COOKING. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!! MARTYRS ALL OF YOU!!!

also lloyd saying he's happy god fucking dammit. he has a goal and he's close to achieving it and all his loved ones are safe,,, that's probably the best feeling in the world to him that's the reason why he does like everything,,, it's just to protect what he cares about,,, this tiny lil smile i am going to shake him in a box

"lucky! this is perfect" AS HE'S DYING LLOYD YOU. YOUUUU YOU OYUU SHAKES YOU STOPP IT YOU FUCKING M. MARTYR!!!!

why is he like this. well okay i know why but like what the FUCK. i am pelting ten billion stones at him. risking his damn life AGAIN to protect everyone. leaving javier at the estate and not telling him what the deal is so that javier can be protected too bc thats where artanis is,,, all his loved ones in one place to keep them safe I HATE IT HERE /j

DOUBLY LOSING IT AT HIS FIRST THOUGHT, THE MOMENT HE GETS IN TROUBLE, IS TO CALL FOR JAVIER. I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO ADD TO THAT I JUST THINK THAT SAYS SO MUCH ABT THEIR RELATIONSHIP

"ah, im dying! the first thing i think is not how to solve this myself, nor is it of my parents or of my skills, but of my longtime companion who has always been there for me and thus will help me when i call for him! and i think of him immediately!" points accusatory finger LLOVIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay i was gonna end the post there but i scrolled back up to review and realized i forgot to actually explain why i am excited for more alicia lloyd scenes so that's gonna go here now i guess LMFAOO

i really really hope that alicia and lloyd have a closer, more quiet moment to talk about their respective lives and history with losing loved ones and feeling isolated as a result. i WAS gonna talk abt that in a dedicated alicia post but i guess itll make a cameo here too lol

bc if u think abt it, suho and alicia both went through very very devastating losses. they both lost the lives of the people who cared for them most, and in very very tragic ways (suho's parents committed, and alicia's parents were slaughtered / alicia's brothers put her in a 'kill or be killed' situation). it's really unfortunate, it's life-altering, and it follows you,,, and then the isolation that comes after that makes it all even worse.

of course, we see suho very explicitly going through throes of isolation through endless work, endless school, and the sheer struggle to just survive to the next day by himself, with no family to support him. obviously, we don't see alicia explicitly having this experience, but i think it'd be reasonable to believe that after the death of her family,,, it was just her. she lost her parents and her brothers, and now she's the only one with the magentano name, and you can't exactly have an empty mantle now can you?

she probably didn't really have anyone to talk to about this. probably just a bunch of old coots on that board of nobles, who have to help her with this "being queen" thing, u cant exactly talk abt ur trauma to people who are technically working for u, who care more abt their status in the kingdom than anything else. and at such a young age, too... like yeah she's surrounded by people technically, but how many people around her actually care for HER, and not for her new status as crown princess? and then as queen? like no wonder tyrant alicia comes to be because of a betrayal from kyle, no wonder she's worried abt letting lloyd into her heart. she's probably been worried about betrayal from a loved one all her life bc of what her brothers did,,, that must be so isolating, and lonely.

so yes, i think alicia probably went through a long bout of isolation, too. and i think alicia and lloyd should Talk about it and have a heart to heart and go "jesus fuck we went through it,,, but we have found people we can rely on. and isn't that wonderful,,," and then alilloyd will have a wonderful leg to stand on yay

i WOULD go on longer about alicia in this rant but i wanted to save it for the post i was planning,,, i couldn't help myself this time though, bc it seemed relevant LOL

anyway i'll see u guys next week,,,!!! very curious to see where things go from here,,, pantara arc pulling shenanigans left and right!!!

[rizatouchesthewalls]

everyone who writes and supports miles smut can block me, that includes 42 btw.

PLEASE SHARE THIS TO ANYONE WHO SUPPORTS AGED UP MINORS (SPECIFICALLY MILES MORALES)

TW: BELOW THE CUT IS DISCUSSION OF P//DO, UNDERAGE CONTENT. (I don’t go too far into detail but I know some people have been affected by it).

elaboration on why aging up (for sexual purposes) is bad

miles is canonically 15 and dont even pull that “he’s aged up” shit with me cause you know damn well on aged up fanfics they use pictures of CANON MILES. so its pretty obvious u have the teen in your mind. and you know what the ones that are around his age are annoying too but it doesnt put nearly of a bad taste in my mouth as the GROWN ASS ADULTS who make that shit.

and btw dont go and say “oh, it’s hormones and plus miles has hormones” and to that i have to say:

1. if you are a child who likes miles like that, fine, deal with that shit in private tho. you posting s*xual content of a minor is catering to creepy adults online

2. if you’re an adult saying that shit then i can say nothing less that you have the mindset of a groomer. You’re not very far from the mfs who say that “teenage girls are at their ripe age at 16.” you as an adult SHOULD NOT be using teenagers having hormones to your advantage and excuse. That’s disgusting.

“they’re just a fictional character” 😟 can you get a grip? go outside. Miles is a fictional character who is BUILT and DESIGNED to look like a teenager. And astv aint that unrealistic that you can say he’s ambiguous. He’s not. And even if he was he does activities that I do as a teen—I go to high school, I’m nervous about my future—miles is literally a relatable teen, as he was designed to be.

“Then stop looking for the smut posts.” I DONT NEED TO! It infiltrates my ASTV tag and at times the Hobie Brown tags too. You act like your tags aren’t public. If someone wanted to read a Miles fic that was normal fluff they would have to scroll through some smut too!

anyway thats all and dont even both coming up in my comments and reposts throwing a hissy fit you niggas r weird asf and can block me. maybe then id see less weird shit on my tag page. do us all a favor and log off.

+ Update: His ages from any other media isn’t a valid excuse. If you were clearly writing for canon adult miles you wouldn’t have astv miles as the icons and astv as the tag.

+ Update: Miles is CANONICALLY 15 in the first movie, and somewhere in the last movie he was YOUNGER. As mentioned above, mentioning other media as an excuse is bs when in the movies your writing for (itsv, atsv) he’s clearly a minor.

+ The thing that pisses me off the most is how ya’ll act like the people who are uncomfortable are weird. Are you not writing s*xual content about a 15 year old on a daily basis? please.

+ Fiction DOES affect reality. Why do you think people have nightmares after horror? Why does a sad film make people cry? Why does a deep movie change perspective?

+ In the scene where Miles argues with his parents, he says something along the lines of “I’m 15!!!” So if you think he’s not underage, you either didn’t pay attention or don’t have google. Plus what 18 year old discusses college that late? (without any other discussions prior?)

+ if you like little boys stop tryna hide that you like little boys it makes you even more manipulative and gross. no but in all seriousness telling minors that behavior is okay has gotta be SOME form of grooming on a more subtle scale. sorry if that’s too bold for ya’ll but as someone who’s been tricked into thinking content like this was okay when I was younger, I can confirm that this isn’t okay.

+ If to prove character that’s canonically a minor isn’t one you have to pull up seven different source materials that barely correlate to the one you write for, that character is still a fucking minor! It’s giving “she’s actually 3000!!!” when she looks 8.

yeah. kay bye!!!

[goodlucksnez]

DO NOT REBLOG TO NON-KINK BLOGS

MINORS FUCK OFF

WOW A POST

i know first thing since September, things have been hard. but I saved up spoons to make a wav of the lovely h/uskerd/ust. I barely tried with accents and things because again no spoons so sorry

I had this idea about h/usk losing a gamble cause of an allergen so yeah that is basically it. transcript is below sorry if it isnt the most clear I rushed it because i know if i didnt this would sit unfinished forever.

now with that being said...I think char. wavs might be stopping for a while. I dont have the time, energy nor spoons to do it, I want to but it is easier to record natural wav instead. I know for the .12% of people who will read this will not care but I wanted to lets others know!

DO NOT REBLOG TO NON-KINK BLOGS

MINORS FUCK OFF

transcript:

Angel: *walking up the the bar with a deck of cards* Hey Whiskers.

Husk: *cleaning* Hmm.

Angel: *mockingly*Ohh, come on. Don't you wanna play?

 Husk: If it will make you shut up, then I'm happy to oblige. What are we playing?

Angel: Ohh, did I get the kitty's attention? Such a gambling man.

Husk *sarcastically* You do realize who you're talking to, right?

Angel: *teasingly* Perfectly or, should I say Purrfectly.

Husk: *rolling his eyes* Oh, great. We're starting the cat puns again. As if that wasn't funny the 15th time.

Angel: I think you've had enough fun trouncing around like you are so much better than everyone, and I think that I can prove your bluff.

Husk: *laughing*

Angel: Oh, did I say something amusing?

Husk: Very much so. You think that you can con a gambler….fine. How do we make this interesting?

Angel: *smirking* Oh, I like when the Kitty has claws. Meow.

Husk: Hmm. If you win, I'll agree to wear that outfit that you bought.

Angel:  Oh, you don't mean…

Husk: Don't say it.

Angel: And what happens if you win? Not that I'm thinking that will happen, but tell me. You got me as curious as a cat.

Husk: If I win, then you'll stop with the cat puns forever.

Angel: You make a tough bargain. OK. OK. You got yourself a deal.

Husk: One round winner takes all

Angel:Perfect.

*dealing and shuffling cards*

Husk: Want to cut the deck.

Angel: Always

Husk:You seem rather cocky tonight. *sniffles and sneezes*

Angel:Trying to make me distracted already are we whiskers?

Husk: Nope. Just…Just. *Sneezing* Making conversation

Angel:Very well

Husk:Draw

Angel: Fine, fine. Hit me.

Husk:You got it.

Husk: I will also hit. *sneezing*

Angel:Bless you.

Husk: Thanks. What are you smiling at?

Angel: Nothing. I just think I'm gonna win.

Husk: Ohh. You're a terrible liar. I have gambled with human souls before. A little game of poker isn’t *hitching wipes his nose but accidentally does the hand motion to stay not hit*

Angel: That hand motion means stay.

Husk: Oh. Yeah. You're very funny, aren't you? All right.I'll give you that one. Maybe Niffy needs to dust more

 Angel: Oh, I don't think that's it. You know what? I think I'll stay. You're going to fold.

Husk *sneezing* So you're asking me if I call your bluff, huh?

Angel: Maybe.

Husk: *showing his hand*Read them and weep

Ange;” Ohh. Just the 13. Try 19 on for size.

Husk: How the fuck did you win?

Angel: Ooh, but I thought a gambler never went over his secrets.

Husk: Angel, you fucking tell me now or I swear I will….I will. *sneezing*  Ohh God. Don't you always carry something on you? Give me the shit

 Angel: I don't think it will help you because it's kind of drenched in lavender

Husk I beg your finest pardon…what

Angel: Well, I may have talked to creepy smile and well. I'm just so sick of you winning all the time. It was no fun anymore. You know, I do like to keep things up and loose. So he told me about a little issue you have with a certain smell. You wouldn't believe how long it took me to get this much.

Husk: Angel . I swear *sneezing*

Angel: Al  wasn't joking. You really are a mess with this.

T

 Husk: OK, so besides sneezing, how'd you figure it out?

Angel: Well. I know two things about you. One you'll never share anything over your face, and 2. If you're comfortable, you sit more open, relaxed, you would hunched over this entire time. And that could be from the allergic reaction that you're experiencing.

*sneezing*

Angel: or It could be from the fact that you didn't enjoy your hand. And the fact that you didn't even call me on my bluff? Well, it was obvious point past then, that I was going to win. Now Are you gonna go and be a good Kitty? *holding maid dress*

Husk:  I'm not putting it on, that was not fair. *sneezing* that was not a fair game and you know it

*walks over to angel*

Angel: All fair in love and war.,,,,,Husker. I really wouldn't walk over. I mean I'm literally covered in this, frankly, drowned a whole bottle. Wait, stop.

*Walks over and sneezes on his chest*

Angel : AHHH Fair, I guess I deserve that spray.

Husk: *hitching* I cant

Angel :You might want to step back.

*hitching*

 Angel : Ohh man, I can't watch this. OK. I'm sorry, Kitty. *rubs his nose*

Husk: wait Don't touch my nose *sneezing fit*

Angel: Breathe whisker Seriously geez. We're giving Lucifer a run for his money. ….OK OK, I'm stepping back Just breathe, OK?

*al appears*

Al: This is this an interesting sound.

Husk: Oh fuck off

Al:.But I'm here to save the day. Here below.

*husk blows his nose*

Angel :thank fuck al. I didn't think he was ever Gonna stop.

Al:  I may have forgot to mention he won't stop until he actually gets that junk out of his head. The kitten sneezing may be adorable, but it's ineffective to say the least. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go burn this. Take care.

 Angel : Are you feeling any better whiskers

Husk: Uh-huh

 Angel:OK, why don't you go lay down? I'll shower this off. And husk

Husk: hmmm

Angel: Who has the poker face now?.

[mrstsung]

My unpopular mk opinions

These are my unpopular opinions,venting,and genuinely how i feel about mk lore and characters.

This is just my personal opinions and feels ok? If you do not agree nor like. Then this post IS NOT FOR YOU! so keep scrolling down. (I can't believe i have to remind people of common sense and how to use their brain functions.)

But yeah. Here they are. It's a long one.

Below cut

🔥🐲🔥🐲🔥🐲🔥🐲🔥🐲🔥🐲🔥🐲🔥🐲🔥

Ok like i said a but long. But bear with me.

• Im sorry but liu kang x kitana can not realistically happen. At least for long term. They both have too much going on. Kitana has a whole realm let alone her own goals too separate from liu. And no offense guys but liu kang said he wants out in several stories endings. So a peaceful,quiet,normal lady and/or spouce is what he needs. Away from kombat,away from mortal kombat especially. So yeah....sorry guys. But your little fantasy of liu kang being with some badass warrior chick is just that. A fantasy and a boring one at that. Liu kang just needs a simple honey by his side. (This goes for liu kang being paired up with any of the known established lady characters)

• Speaking of which,liu kang should've retired. Not become a god. What was nrs thinking?!

• Kung lao should've been champion and the new chosen one. But y'all allergic to good storytelling.

• I could say so much about the lady characters. But I'll keep it short. Unfortunately guys,sexism exists. And it's affecting men too so if they actually eant people to enjoy fighting games. Dont make your lady fighters like shit and only eye candy. Let alone make them broken because your too lazy to program good movesets for them that actually work.

• Ah raiden raiden raiden. Where do i begin? First,they screw you over AGAIN. they take away you're whole ass personality. Nrs  only pretends now to actually gaf about you. And most of that is lip service. Shall i continue? You should've been retired by now. And not to mention they defang you for plot and treat you like shit as well as your mains. That pretty much covers it.

• Shang tsung my baby sweetheart,look at what they do? Do people care about your character? No. They dont. They never did until you looked lioe a pretty boy band hack. And no offense....they brought back the irl goat shang tsung himself,for what? Only to mock us fans and tease us with the false promises of something actually good? Yeah. Sadly i feel this. Tho i appreciate all of shang tsung's incarnations and iterations. Cary hiroyuki tagawa IS shang tsung to me. And honestly the only one worth mentioning. Because he's honest to god skilled in his craft. Im not saying this out of fandom,to butter his toast nor nostalgia sake. I genuinely feel he does shang tsung like nobody else does. Look guys alan lee is ok. But i feel he NEEDS SOMEONE TO WRITE HIM SOMETHING BETTER. Honey plz let me write for you! I know what shang neeeeeeds!

• That being said. Im sick of people saying shang tsung is eViL. When? Also is he tho? Anymore than anyone else in that world. Dude you're killing. And even if that wasn't a factor,there are worse guys. Shang tsung is actually compared to the likes of quan chi,shinnok,shao kahn,ONAGA,THE FUCKING ONE BEING ITSELF!?! shang's a fairly honorable and reasonable man. He is psuedo-immortal but he was once an earthrealmer warrior(idc what nrs says thats what he is end of story. Because thats what he was truly and it makes for a more compelling story) so unlike the other "baddies" he's the only really "human" one. So he's more realistic and relatable. Which honestly makes for a more interesting antag. Or even neutral character. Seriously guys,it's right there. Why do people refuse to see it is beyond me.

• Bi-han....you dont deserve what you're given. Im sorry.

• Same with mileena.

• Also mileena isn't some disease ridden floosy,isn't secretly shangs kid,she is a clone and an experiment and is a fucked up lil froot loop. She does get a heart of gold later and reconciles with kitana or should. But shang tsung hates mileena,sees her only a an object let alone just a pat on the back for a job well succeeded. Shes an experiment to him. Shao kahn sees her as a means to an end but an heir to be used. Sindel say milly as a daughter but the lesser one and only in high regards when kitana "disappoints" her. Sindel before and after the dark magic purge,was kind of selfish. She never hated her daughters,but she was arrogant. But that's just her personality. Anyways. Mileena is a clone/twin sister of kitana and deserves better and to be her own person and have her own agency. Sorry not sorry but i hate "fandom" mileena.

• Kung lao....my baby.....you deserve better. But you deserve to obliterate nrs for the mistreatment

• Sonya blade deserves to kill more. Let alone never be written by men ever again. NEVER AGAIN.

• We as fans deserve a good game. No gimmicks,not unnecessary dlc,full functional and FULLY MADE gameplay,no guest characters,no characters that was in the main storymode not on the roster let alone some pre order fucking only. No a fully good game. That has minigames to keep you busy. That has a fully open world krypt. A game WORTHY OF THE TITLE OF MORTAL KOMBAT!

I have so much more but....thats it for now.

[laurrelise]

saw your tua post about five i dont go here but i need to know did they pull an incest again. is that why everyones mad or did the ship just suck

ok so i’m assuming you’re talking about season 4!! i’ll leave this part very vague and spoiler free and if you don’t mind more specific spoilers (only about the ship, not about the actual end of the season) than check under the cut! :)

ok so not incest this time. the ship just reeeeeally sucks because it’s not only out of character but it ruined multiple arcs and relationships.

unhinged angry explanation of my least favorite part about season 4 below the cut!! (beware: yapping)

ok hi again! so five and lila get together. they fall for each other after they get stuck between timelines in this alternate dimension subway station thing, and they spend 7 years trying to find their way back home.

it turns out that lila was only doing it to survive because she needed something to hold onto while five, having been through this once before, had fallen head over heels for her.

he withholds information that can take them home for 6 months and lila is pissed and tells him it wasn’t real because she wants to get home to diego and her children, and five tells her that she knows she’s happier between timelines with him, blah blah blah it’s a whole thing.

five reluctantly goes back with lila and it’s really awkward and he’s pissed at diego (even though it was LITERALLY NEVER HIS FAULT) because lila is clearly still in love with him. they argue a little, lila gets between them, diego suspects something’s going on and asks, and then the truth unfolds and he’s (REASONABLY) heartbroken. it’s really sad to watch tbh

anyways then the end of the world starts to happen once again and i won’t go into specific spoilers for that because it would take WAY too long but basically five and diego are beating the shit out of each other and five literally outright says “i wanna fucking kill him” and lila tells him that it’s over between them and he goes and sulks because he was truly in love blah blah blah blah blah. anyways

it ends with five and diego hating each other. and it’s really fucking frustrating. and i really don’t mind what people ship for the most part, but this specific ship pissed me the fuck off because it should NOT have been canon. in my mind it still isn’t canon because this whole season sucked ass and i refuse to accept it as real.

you’re telling me five hargreeves, the man who survived for 45+ years with the single goal to save his family gave up on them after 7 years with the only other person around because he fell for her? why the hell was this necessary? why did the writers do this bro 😭 that is not the five i spent 3 seasons absolutely cherishing. i refuse to accept it

but also you’re telling me that the entire show ends with five hating diego and diego hating him?????? this entire season was SO out of character for the both of them but i STILL can’t get over (and will absolutely NEVER get over) that the writers really thought they could get away with the hargreeves despising each other like this. so pissed about this season omfg

so not only was the ship problematic for age differences on BOTH ends (fives body was 19 but lila’s was 36ish, probably older, while fives mind was 64 while she was AGAIN 36ish???? like how did they manage to make it pedophilic on both ends bro lmfao) (and do not even get me STARTED on the age differences of the actors and the fact that this has clearly been planned since aidan was a very young minor and the writers were waiting around for him to become 18 so it would be legal like fucking creeps) but it also involved cheating / homewrecking (with family no less) as well as multiple relationships ruined. i LOVED five and diego as a duo before. why the FUCK was this necessary *i scream from the rooftops*

anyways sorry for my chronic yapping, that is all.

i hate five x lila, have a good day.

[corvidae-00]

Tsudere /sub touch starved Jax in heat that pretends to hate the reader but does things to secretly be with them x a fem happy but smart Uzadere that loves being in the circus.She loves adventures,animals,cute things,fighting,food ect! lots of energy too but can be pretty insensitive and a little selfish with a little crush on jax. I feel like at first jax would completely reject liking her then he would be extra mean,then Maybe subconsciously know he likes her amd hates the feeling lol. cus he copes by trying to not have feelings and tries to act "tough". its pretty obvious that the reader is in love with him but his dumb ass cant catch on . She gives lots of compliments which makes him flustered and mad ( he is mad bc he thinks nobody likes him that much, he is mean to her to make her go away but it doesn't work ) but he pretends not to care. the reader would definitely confesses first tho. Sorry for such a long request its just that not many people write jax in this sorta way so i had to be detailed lol. also if you don't wanna use female pronouns you can make it non gender ofc 😅tysm for even reading such a long thing! and you don't have to do this at all lr you can switch it up. Anything is VERY appreciated tho😊 also i feel like max would be a massive virgin due to how annoying he is...he definitely a horny bitchless rabbit-

AHHHH! MY FIRST ASK ;0; Thank you!!! And i personally LOvE Jax- like its an issue 0-0 but im so happy to write for him first! your request is amazing and i truly love it! i hope i did it justice!!! i hope you dont mind HCs! if you did want a story just hit me back up in the answer box and ill write a lil something for ya! ;)

MDNI BELOW THE CUT+ Warnings: Smutty smut themes, bottom Jax <3- Cussing, swearing, the norm

The Reader definitely brought light to the Circus, when she first appeared she was the TALK OF THE TENT, everyone was happy to finally have someone around to liven up the place- > besides jax- the little shit made it his sole duty to make sure Reader was the punchline of his jokes or somehow always "in his way" and the Reader often got the butt of the assult. > Jax being Jax when the feelings for reader started to arise- he got scared- a little worried- upset even. More at himself than you but still pretty pissy- this just made the tourment wose oh lord- > Reader found this fun, more ways to annoy and poke and proad at Jax, finding his constant target on the Reader absolutely hilarious > Reader always calling the oblivious rabbit pet names!!! *Toots, Fluff butt, Shnookums (Only because it pissed Jax off and everyone would laugh), babes, Etc Etc, > Jax STILL oblivious to the reader ;0; taking it as her teasing him and pushing him and oh no we cant have that!!!! Jax haaates it. Secretly likes it HATES IT- >Despite the tension between the two Jax would often threaten Caine or sneak the other circus members things of value to be around reader. not knowing why- HE IS MADLY IN LOOOVE he wanted to be around Reader!! SMUT >Jax in heat is something i dont think even he saw coming- like they are digital code- BUT DAMN- > Stuck in his room alone humping a pillow and pulling his ears over his face embarrassed beyond belief at his own actions > Reader was coming to annoy Jax concerned why she didnt see him at breakfast (His favorite meal of the day may i add- >Knocking on his door reader had a shit eating grin "Sleeping in pookie?" She calls through the door only a groan and a loud huff was the response she got >Thats rude. Reader thinks and just assuming he is having one of his man period days- Reader enters his room- and boy is the sight she sees amazing- Jax face down and ass up with a pillow under his hips, face flushed a deep purple and his overalls down to his waist- > Reader and Jax are just staring at eachother with wide eyes >"G-GET OUT!!" "Nah i dont think i will" >Lets just say reader helps the little bunny get the relief he was so looking for- >They dont argue as much anymore-

----------------------------------------------------- THANK YOU FOR READING!!! I hope you enjoyed your request and it was too your liking! im still getting back into writing so its a slow process!! let me know what you think!!! thank you so much!!! <3333

[salsakiyoomi]

Hii there! I really like your writing soo i came to request if you dont mind... im having a bad time due to academic burnout. Im already in my 3rd year studying meds and just when i got to learn to accept and love the hardship, i realize that my gpa will just a bit below the minimum requirement for cumlaude and thats a bummer for me...

None of my family pressure me but i do pressure myself a lot and a lot of self depreciating thought occur in my head. I forbid myself to talk about my feelings to anyone and very good at hiding it.

Soo anyway if you dont mind can you make that kind of scenario with haikyuu boys of your choices? Please feel free to reject this idea if you are not comfortable writing it! And im sorry if in anyway my tone is rude :(

a/n : nonnie, i wish you luck on everything <33

"i got you some fruit.”

iwaizumi mumbles as he places a plate of cut up fruit on your desk as you study — it’s a variety of you favorite fruits.

“thank you.” you say to him, and he huffs, leaning himself against your desk as he faces you.

“are you still actually studying?” he asks, motioning to the various papers and books that are scattered around your desk haphazardly.

you twirl the pen between your fingers, yawning tiredly, “yeah,” you mutter, “just have one more chapter to finish.”

“seriously?” he scoffs, “you’ve been at it since six, it’s midnight right now, you need to sleep.”

you huff, “haji, i’m fine.”

he scoffs again, “alright, that’s it.” he says before snatching the book from in front of you, and you gasp, “what the fuck dude?”

“you need to rest,” he says — iwaizumi has been your friend since middle school, and he cares about you seriously, even though he might be shit sometimes at showing it, but he is your best friend, and you know he cherishes you.

“come on, get out of that chair.” he chides you and you groan — you want to finish that last chapter, but you know you need to sleep too, and you are desperate for sleep.

reluctantly, you get out of your desk and let iwaizumi guide you to your bed.

“can’t keep overworking yourself like that,” he mumbles as you lay down in bed and he pulls the covers over you.

he stares at you for a few moments, your eyes look tired and your face is sunken, probably for not having eaten anything since morning — but god, are you beautiful.

“what about the fruit you cut up for me?” you mumble, sleep tugging at your lids.

“i’ll leave it in the fridge for you.” he says and you hum sleepily, and before you know it, you’ve already drifted off to sleep.

iwaizumi stays by your side for a few moments, staring at your peaceful face and he wonders what it would be like sleep and cuddle next to you, how things would be if they were on another level.

but he can’t risk the friendship like that.

“good night, y/n.” he mumbles.

regardless of everything, he’ll always be there for you and pull you out of you self-sabotaging habits.

[rafecameronsmistress]

The Stepsister

[description] Rafe Cameron POV

[summary] Rafe’s new stepsister (you) drives him wild

[cw + tw] 18+ content minors DNI, heavy smut, step-incest, rough sex, embarrassment, language

[authors note] first time doing a male POV and this shit took me SO LONG to write about a month plus some // this one is long(er) and very detailed with HEAVY smut // please leave feedback for my sanity 🥲

Adult Content Ahead

Enjoy 🖤

_____________________________________________

It’s been a month since my dad moved his girlfriend and her daughter in

i don’t like them, i don’t like her

the way her voice heightens when she asks me a question, the way her “innocent” eyes scan me up and down when i walk through the house shirtless, the way she prances around in her skin tight shorts giving me a glimpse of the way she’s shaped inside them, the way she bends over in front of me exposing her lace panties that are pulled a little too high up her back

constantly having to question wether she does this all on purpose or if i’m delusional is driving me insane, i try to avoid her, i try to push her away as much as possible

“be nice to your stepsister Rafe” my dad says on repeat

stepsister

it’s wrong to be attracted to her, i know it is, but it’s getting harder to control myself and i think she knows that.. i think it’s what she wants

i stand at the kitchen counter, a bottle of water in hand and my phone aimlessly scrolling in the other

i hear small footsteps behind me, it’s her

i turn and give her a smile trying not to be a douchebag as she walks closer to me, closer than necessary

she crouches down in front of me only about a foot separating us, her eyes meeting my cock, she looks up at me from below “sorry just need to get in this drawer” she smiles

how convenient 

i step back and allow her to open it “oops, wrong one” she lets out a giggle and stands up slowly in front of me with only an inch between us, i can feel her breath on my bare chest

i’m not fucking crazy, she wants me to fuck her

she flashes that innocent fucking smile and walks away, hiking up her little pink shorts in the process teasing me as she leaves the room

i put my hands behind my head and let out a deep breath

feeling my sweatpants becoming tight i adjust myself and tuck my dick into my waistband, ashamed that my stepsister just gave me a hard on

_ _ _ _ _ _

i tried to forget about what happened earlier but the image of her giving me those fuckin’ doe eyes are burned into my memory

i sit at the dinner table in silence, while everyone else is engaged in conversation

“why so quiet Rafe?” Sarah asks pretending she gives a shit

my eyes quickly flash across the table toward her

“long day, i’m tired” i lie

i feel movement on my leg trailing upward toward my thigh, my eyes widen and my jaw clenches, i try not to draw attention

she sits across from me with a shit eating grin on her face while she lightly drags her foot across my crotch, i reach under the table and grab her ankle squeezing hard, her smile only grows wider

i clear my throat and toss her foot on the ground, i stand from the dinner table and clear my plate

“Rafe?” my dad says “what’s go-“

i cut him off mid question “i’m going to bed”

i hear everyone murmur probably talking about what an asshole i’m being and how rude i am for leaving the table but i dont care, the only thing i care about is hiding my fucking boner

_ _ _ _ _ _

i jump out of a deep sleep when i feel fingernails running up and down my back

“what the fuck?!” i turn on my bedside lamp to be faced with her “what are you doing? are you crazy?” i sit up against the headboard

“no” she giggles while climbing onto my bed “are you crazy?” she straddles my lap

“stop get off” i try to push her away but she grabs my face

“i know you want me Rafe, since the day we met i could feel it, do you want me?” her voice heightens

those eyes, those phony innocent eyes

“we can’t do this y/n” i try to push my cocks feelings aside and do the right thing

“no one has to know, c’mon just one time, i know you want to fuck me” she seduces running her hands across my chest and shoulders “kiss me, please”

my hearts beating out of my fucking chest and my dick is becoming painfully hard, i can’t fuck my stepsister… but fucking hell do i want to

our lips only inches apart, my rapid breathing mixes with hers, “kiss me” she whispers again

fuck it

my lips crash onto hers and i slip my tongue inside, she sweetly moans into my mouth and grinds herself onto my boxers

the kiss becomes sloppy and desperate, i move my lips to her throat nipping and sucking every inch

her hands creep into the back of my hair, she pulls hard

she grinds herself harder on my bulge becoming needy for my cock, her stepbrothers cock, she moans like she’s never been touched before, so loud that she even startles herself and brings her hips to a halt as i clasp my hand across her mouth

“shut up” i warn her through gritted teeth, we hear footsteps coming down the hallway and she looks at me with the widest eyes

“get in the fucking closet” i urge as i push her off me and cover myself with my blankets quickly, she tip toes quickly toward my closet and shuts herself in just in time

a distinct knock on the door tells me it’s my dad, “yeah?” i answer, he opens the door slightly, “you okay bud?” Ward asks, “yeah i was having a bad dream, woke myself up” i lie, “alright, goodnight” he says walking back toward his bedroom

i hear his bedroom door close and quickly walk over to my closet whipping the doors open, she’s smiling, laughing almost

“get out, go to bed” i tell her, “why? i want to stay in here with you” she pouts, “seriously y/n you gotta go we can’t- i can’t do this and we almost just got caught” why do i almost feel bad? “okay” she sighs

i catch a glimpse {through the light of my bedside lamp} at the front of her shorts, she’s fucking soaking through them

i crawl back into my bed and watch her leave absolutely shocked at the thought of what just happened

my dick went soft the second we heard those footsteps, i groan in disappointment, turn off my lamp and go back to bed riled up and unsatisfied

_ _ _ _ _ _

two weeks have gone by since that night

we haven’t spoken, we’ve barely made eye contact

it’s finally the weekend after a long week of business and other bullshit

my dad and his girlfriend go out of town to go spend mass amounts of money and eat the finest food south of the border

Sarah packs a bag and leaves to stay at John B’s - Wheezie takes refuge at a friends because no one trusts me to watch her and she would ‘die of starvation and neglect’ - that leaves me.. and her

the tension in the empty house is thicker than ever, it pains me every time we cross paths without saying a word

until the second night of being home alone, together, i’m watching tv in the living room enjoying a beer when i hear those tiny footsteps behind me again, my body tenses at the sound

i can’t see her but i know she’s there

“can i watch with you?” that sweet voice pierces my ears, i look back at her and give a half ass smile “sure”

she walks around the couch and sits on the complete opposite end as me, her legs tucked into her chest

i try watch what’s on the tv but all i can focus on is the fact that she’s burning a hole in the side of my head from staring

“if you need to get something off your chest just say it” i say breaking the awkwardness

she lets out a sigh that echos through the room, “i don’t know what you want me to say Rafe, have you not been bothered by this too?” she adjusts facing toward me

“of course i have but like i said i can not do this with you” shaking my head

“but why?” her hands fidgeting as she speaks “why can’t we just one time?”

i stand from the couch and rub the back of my neck irritatingly “because it won’t be just one time y/n and we’re fuckin’ family now, do you not understand that it’s wrong?” i raise my voice a bit

“i do understand” her voice breaks “but i need you”

those words alone will make me risk it all, she needs me, she needs me to fuck her brains out, she needs me to fuck her raw til she’s begging for mercy

i feel myself twitch in my pants at the memory of her grinding on my cock a few weeks ago

i run my hands across my face and in to my hair shaking my head simultaneously

again i find myself saying fuck it

i eagerly walk toward her “get up” i instruct, she looks up at me in shock “c’mon, you wanna do this? get up” i repeat, a devious smile paints her face

she stands in front of me and i grab her wrist and quickly walk her upstairs into my bedroom and before she could blink i pick her up and toss her onto my bed

“Rafe i-“ her eyes widen as i pull my shirt off “shut up” i spit “just remember you wanted this” i remind her while i slide my sweatpants off

she leans back propping herself up on her elbows, her breaths becoming rapid as she anticipates what i’m about to do to her

i hook my hands inside her shorts grabbing them and her underwear at the same time, i rip them down her legs and toss them behind me, her cheeks flush pink

pink just like her pussy, her perfect fucking pussy

i become eye level with it, my mouth practically salivating, “you wanted this” my voice lowers before i slowly lick a strip up her already wet slit

she sucks in a sharp breath through gritted teeth and i feel her soul melt in my mouth

she tastes good, so so good

i run my tongue up and down her slit painfully slow, i want her to beg for it, the tip of my tongue teasing her hole each time i move down

her breathing is heavy and it’s the only sound in the room

i spread her legs wider exposing her little pink clit, i place a gentle kiss to it, her hips twitch in my face

my tongue swirls around her sensitive nub, i look up at her, she looks so pretty with her pussy in my mouth, her face perfectly showing how good i’m making her feel

i flick her clit rapidly and tease her entrance with a finger

“please” she begs reaching down and guiding my middle finger into her hole, her cavern is warm and slick with arousal

the sweet little whimpers falling from her mouth are anything but innocent, tonight i’m taking all that innocence from her

i slip in another finger and curl them upward while gliding my tongue across her swollen clit “fffuck” she inhales sharply arching her back

i push her hips back down and apply pressure to her lower stomach with my left hand, my right still inside her

i find that special ridge and massage it with my finger tips, the way her pussy pulsates around my hand tells me i’m hitting the right spot

“oh god” she cries “fuck Rafe” and there it is, she gushes on my bed soaking my hand and my sheets underneath her

a series of whimpers and whines escaping her lips while her legs tremble uncontrollably, i slide my fingers out and she shuts her legs tightly

i go to pry them back open, “i can’t” she begs for mercy, “no no no you don’t get to back out now, open up” i demand tapping the side of her hip

her legs fall open tirelessly, her pussy swollen and leaking, “look at you, i wrecked you and i haven’t even stuck my dick in it yet, poor baby” i say in a conniving matter pouting my lip at her fucked out eyes

i lean down and place an open mouthed kiss to her red clit, her entire body jumps and she yelps loudly

i laugh against her heat and slowly work my way up her body leaving a trail of sloppy kisses from her clit to the crook of her neck

she writhes underneath me, reaching her arms behind me she digs her nails into my skin while i suck on that sweet spot

my achingly hard cock brushes against her sex, i grind myself into her collecting her cum on the front of my boxers

she moves her hips against mine breathing heavily into my ear

i back up off the bed to rid myself of my boxers which are now stained from her needy pussy, “take your top off” i instruct her, she does and tosses it on the floor

everything about this girl is fuckin’ perfect, her tits sit so nicely, her nipples begging for my mouth

still on the bed, she gets on all fours staring up at me with her mascara stained eyes, “come here” she invites sticking her tongue out

my cock throbs at the sight, something straight out of a porno i’d watch, i walk to the end of the bed where my cock stands upright and she catches the tip in her mouth

“shit” i hiss looking down at her make love to my angry red tip “such a pretty little thing you are” i encourage

she sinks my shaft deep into her throat giving a slight gag, i collect her hair from her face and hold it tightly in my fist, her mouth feels too good

she starts to massage my balls causing me to jerk forward into her throat, she gags hard, her eyes filling with tears

she bobs her head quicker, a pool of saliva running from her lips onto the bed, i pull myself from her mouth just when i’m about to cum, she gasps for a deep breath

i grab her lightly by her throat bringing her to her knees, we meet eye to eye, i kiss her hard then toss her backward on the bed

“how do you want it?” i ask, her eyes light up like no one’s actually ever gave a shit how she feels in bed, she moves herself to the edge of the bed and gets on all fours laying her chest flat to the bed and her ass in the air “like this” she smiles looking back at me

“perfect” i smirk and land a hard slap to her right cheek, i stand at the edge of the bed and grab the lube in my side table, i coat myself and her, her pretty little pussy glistening for me

i run the tip of my cock up and down her slit a few times before pushing myself in slowly

i fill my hands with her ass cheeks using them as leverage and rocking her body back and forth with the motion of my hips, the wet gushing sounds of her cunt encase my bedroom

the noises coming from her sweet lips are ungodly, the innocence she held onto is long gone now

“har-der” she moans in between thrusts

i pick up the pace and with my hands land a few blows to her backside that will definitely leave bruises

she looks good like this, underneath me, her brain being melted from my cock

she lifts her head off the bed and looks back at me with a deviant smile “i want you to choke me”

fuck, i’m gonna fall in love with this girl

i slide myself out of her and flip her on her back pulling half her ass end off the bed, i wrap my hand around her throat while pushing myself back into her

catching a good rhythm i watch her tits bounce to the beat of my hips crashing into her

a sticky gooey mess forms between us, my brows starting to sweat, i tighten my grip a little more on her neck as i edge closer to orgasm

i grab one of her breasts and lean forward sucking her nipple into my mouth, she intertwines a hand through my hair again getting a good grip and pulling

i gently use my teeth on her sensitive bud, “fuck, you feel so good” she lets out breathlessly “gonna make me cum again”

i let go of her breast and throat then wrap my arms around her thighs, she brings her hand to her clit rubbing vicious circles

i thrust into her mercilessly, pounding the last orgasm from her pussy, her eyes roll back while she shrieks and claws at my bed sheets

she cums for me again, her walls clench around my cock, the last bit of her soul leaving her body

“that’a girl” i praise her before pulling out and cumming on her belly

i put my arms down on the bed leaning over her trying to catch my breath, a drop of sweat hitting her chest

after composing myself i grab a towel from my bathroom and clean my cum off her

she starts to giggle which then turns into full blown laughter, “what’s so funny?” i furrow my brows at her “i just- i can’t believe i just fucked my step brother”

“yeah and you fuckin’ loved it too” i smirk

[fmab]

ok sorry long vent post below i suppose

i had a really good day today and i have been doing better since January started and holding hope for the future. But i think being around so many friends who i love and care about and also thinking about how future happy and healthy relationships will go is making me reflect a lot on the 5 years that i was with [redacted] and literally just how fucked up so much shit he did was. And how hypocritical he was.

I've talked about it before but it was just nuts how genuinely cruel he could be despite being so insecure. Like if he was mad at someone/hated someone (no matter if it was for a good reason to hate them) for some reason fatphobia/ableism etc was on the table. despite acting like he was body positive he'd turn around and say this shit and even in a few instances even try to insult me for my weight too. Despite being so insecure about his intelligence (he was smart) he was so incredibly quick to call other people stupid/brainless etc. and yeah i guess even when we were fighting he would say that shit to me too and call me stupid. idk he was just so full of these contradictions like this. he was so cruel and constantly lashing out at me to make me leave. He expected everyone to leave him and when they didnt he would lash out violently to get them to leave because he believed he was a bad person and then used it as confirmation for why he should be alone forever when they left. I kept myself in that cycle for literal years, trying to prove to him that he wouldn't have to be alone, because i loved him and wanted to be proof that someone wouldn't leave because there is love and hope and good in the world. i wanted to be that so badly but he could not believe it and would never let himself have anything good. Why did i ever put up with that cycle of cruelty for so long.

It was always a constant uphill battle. Yeah he was recovering from trauma and deeply affected by it but the way he threw people under the bus who were also suffering and recovering from trauma is crazy. I will never forget how when we met he was very scared/wary/mistrustful of people with dissociative disorders to the point where he literally asked our friends who had did not to talk about it/their alters not to talk to him because he'd been abused by someone who had allegedly faked did. Like we literally had to hide that part of ourselves from him. And at the time, i was going through a psychotic break and deeply unstable and dealing with my own dissociative disorder's symptoms and trying to figure out what was going on. But because I was in that vulnerable position I internalized that so much that i literally became incapable of talking about my more troubling dissociative disorder symptoms with almost anyone. instead of trying to unpack those things i squished them down. And cut to a couple years later and he was literally diagnosed with DID :| All that and i still couldn't make myself take that barrier down and talk to him about that part of my mental health despite him trying to let me know i could now bc he was experiencing that shit himself. That shit has still stayed with me and permeated other parts of my life and mental health struggles even now. I still dont know how to talk about my various disorders without assuming ill make someone uncomfortable/think im faking/think im fucking crazy. idk how to talk abt my dissociative disorder shit with anyone and feel like I can only talk about my bpd with my friend of 12 years who also has bpd. and i dont even know where to begin with my psychosis.

idk i have so many good friends now and im not isolated and i feel so much genuine love and care but i feel like i was emotionally stunted after 5 years of being with that guy. For the first entire year and a half after breaking it off with him i couldn't even be there for my other friends who were suffering. id spent my every ounce of energy on him that my friends suffering just made me sad and scared like i needed to flee. i think one of the most traumatizing experiences (that happened multiple times) was when he would literally drink entire bottles of wine and be so drunk that he could not even talk, and i had to sit on the phone with him because i was absolutely terrified that he was going to die from alcohol poisoning or throw up and choke in his sleep. And i would just have to sit on the phone and listen to him scream incoherently and break things and throw up and cry harder than i have ever heard anyone cry before, because i was terrified he would die or try to kill himself and i wouldn't know. Trying to make yourself care about your friends who are suffering when the last time you invested everything you could into a relationship and it ended Like That was . incredibly hard. That recovery took so long and im finally better in that aspect, but for ages it made me feel like i had been turned into a husk of a person who was unable to help or care. I have better boundaries and i know my limits and how to help without extending myself to the point where ill be in that position. Sometimes i still do feel like a major part of me died when i left him, simply because it took So Much from me. i poured everything into that relationship. im so glad its over and id never go back but so much of me was dedicated to him that there was a huge void where it was before. there was a part of myself that was solely dedicated to trying to help him.

im not as sad as i was but its horrifying that i spent so many years with him and putting up with the horrific ways he acted and i should have cut it off sooner