#sorry i didnt mean for this to become an essay. i just have thoughts about Them.

[kirkwallguy]

please elaborate your hawke-anders-varric dynamic i'll make you a ferelden pumpkin pie

i feel like for once anders is the most normal person in this situation, but that's less because he's being normal and more because varric and marcus are crazy. in act 1 / before marcus and anders start dating, he's kind of equally obsessed with them both, he has an obvious deep infatuation with marcus that he's repressing (like. you know when youre 12 and don't know being gay is an option yet so you dont understand why you get so weird about your bestie? that's him except he's doing it in his 30s.) and with anders he's always down to be Gay As A Joke, and respond to anders' flirting and silliness because it's NOT gay to want to make your depressed friend smile. the whole love triangle of it all is never considered because varric is adamant he's straight and pretty sure marcus is as well. obviously he knows anders isnt because look at him

this is sustainable for a few years but obviously marcus and anders ruin it by getting together. varric REALLY disapproves of them dating but at first he mostly acts like he's concerned about anders. he keeps talking about how it won't last and how blondie is going to get his heart broken etc etc, to the point that people are actually thrown off a little and think he's in love with anders. but no he just thinks only HE can handle marcus lol. anyway no matter how much he tries to get them to break up they won't, and he slowly starts to resent anders as marcus starts prioritising him over hanging out at the hanged man or fucking around lowtown during the day.

(also this entire time marcus kind of hates varric but in the way you'd hate a brother. which doesn't help the situation at all.)

anyway, chantry explosion happens and this is varric's final straw, he sees marcus forgiving anders as a massive symbolic betrayal. the entire narrative twists in his mind so anders has always been the problem, he writes this narrative in his book (i love imagining that he doesn't explicitly write marcus and anders' relationship and it's left ambiguous/implied lol) and sends it to marcus to make him understand, but all marcus gets from it is "holy shit, varric's in love with me." (anders finds his hilarious because he's known since they all met and just assumed that was why marcus didn't like him)

umm this makes skyhold very awkward. because marcus is having such a terrible time (missing his family and surrounded by templars) he kind of just agrees to put everything aside and be civil with varric so he has someone to drink with in the evenings/to talk him out of killing cullen. they bond over the few weeks or so marcus spends there and it's almost like old times for a moment. but then marcus is sent to take the wardens to weisshaupt and says goodbye to varric. varric makes marcus promise to visit him in kirkwall when all this is over and marcus promises but doesn't mean it. they write a handful of letters to each other when varric is made viscount but aside from that they never speak again. marcus doesn't think about him much and varric never gets over him <3

[cali]

im a different anon but im just curious what advice you would give to someone whos been pillbugging it for um. over a year now

mmm i cant really answer how to stop having depression which im guessing is what u mean + i dont know how ur head works but ive been living mostly NEET-ly for more than 2 yrs now and everyday im getting a better curve at dealing with it so i can tell u what works for me.

half the time when im pillbugging hard im paralyzed by a nontangible fear and the only thing that could stop it is adressing wherever the fear is coming from but the confrontation of the topic, trying to figure out where its even coming from, is terrifying too so i dont do it and stay swimming in tar. theres a sentence people keep saying when they explain why they watch 2 hour video essays "it makes my head go quiet". thats the enemy, the thought, not the person saying it. long term i mean. when its short term anguish that can be bridged by pillbugging its fine i think but if ur "making ur head quiet" for more than a month i urge u to make it go really loud again but thats hard. the only times i can try and confront those thoughts is when i feel otherwise nice, if i got externally forced to have a fun day, hike with my papa, date day with my girlfriend, sometimes just got myself to make a nice meal and it helped, when u feel better its a little less scary and u can maybe try and think out of it a little better. also i think on those days youre generally more positively charged so u got more hope outlook. COOL. i think this is why some people do meditation. im not good at it so i dont really know but i think its a brave pasttime of tackling unpleasant ideas. i used to try and dope my way out of it with lsd cuz everytime i used it it kind of forced me to confront whatever trouble i had but ive forbad myself that cuz i didnt want to rely on it as crutch + it was just unpleasant to get hit over the head everytime. now i only do it when i feel good already (havent done it in half a year lol). sorry, drug tangent. also weed is synonymous with pillbugging 4 me.

otherwise, rituals.... mmmmm..... when therapists and whoevers say stuff like take daily walks daily exercise take daily shower i think all of those are like half about the direct benefits they give and half just about doing anything regularly. cuz it helps. during pillbug hours the point for me is kind of to have time pass as fast as possible so the timeframe to hurt is reduced which is counterproductive cuz if it flows u by rlly hard u cant really grasp onto anything to get off the ride easily. and its never going to come really easy theres no probable single action or event that is going to singlehandedly pull u out of the mire, no rapture, no healing vitamin, its always going to be slow and tedious and boring and stupid but a routine is a nice framework to start that. brushing ur teeth is nice. and when u do something daily the days start becoming more tangible again and u will be able to tell how many days ago tuesday was. maybe u can think abotu what factors motivate u and twist them to do your biddinggg. shame and dissapointment works really well for me if i tell someone i will have this done by then and i dont it usually overpowers the malaise or whatever other reason has been making me not do it prior. but this requires social bonds and i cant guarantee u have those. in summer i started doing therapy cuz in germany i need it for transgenderism and shes also a good beacon for that, if she says do something until next time we meet i dont want to dissapoint her. other than that, um idk, everyting else is just kind of part of that. take walks even if u dont want to think about things even if its scary. be brave like childrens book illustration of knight slaying dragon. and then maybe u get a princess kiss

[mangoisms]

Im just soso obsessed with figuring out tim as a character rn i cant stop thinking abt it (ive always been a jason todd girlie but i read ur fic and that angsty twink latched onto me and refuses to let go)

I think u have a pretty good hold of him, especially bc in present comics writers are so intent on elevating tim in spite of other characters (barbara and her hacking skills for example, or any comparison made btw him and any robin, really) that most portrayals of him are so boring it makes me cry, while you on the other hand took the approach to write about his flaws (which are MANY) while still making him charming and handsome (he is so... !!!!)

To me flaws are also tied to not only the good traits of characters but also their core beliefs and ideals so what can you say abt tim?

I know he can be stupidly arrogant and patronizing at times, that he's always idolized the position and legacy of robin and constantly fights his insecurities with this role and his abilities for the job, that he can also be incredibly selfish or outright mean when it comes to being mindful of other people's feelings for the sake of logic (re when he didnt tell tam abt his dad not being actually dead), but at the same time i cant figure out exactly what he wants to do with his role as robin (or red robin) or why he would want to keep going when his main goals first were just making sure bruce wouldnt go down a dark path, im pretty sure he mentioned not being a vigilante forever but his actual goals remain unclear to me

(Im in the midst of reading his solo robin run but ive read red robin so give me a little room for this, you are definitely free to talk abt more of his comics bc i havent read everything yet and everything im saying should be taken with a grain of salt, video essays and the issues ive read can only get me so far)

He could have gained an inherent desire to help people after all his time as robin and the so fucked up shit that happened to him, maybe as a ways to channel his grief (much like dick and jason and bruce, im thinking abt identity crisis here) after he isnt "needed" as robin anymore, but at the same time that would be so tragic because he was supposed to be different to them, he was supposed to remark the importance of robin's role in helping be "batman's light" and not becoming like batman himself, its just so interesting and im still trying to really understand the extent of his character so id just. Love to get ur thoughts and musings on what fuels tim as a character and how you see him

(I dont have this problem with jason bc his moral conflict is very crystal clear to me and also so freaking juicy, his actions are logical and so understable, granted he also hasnt had as much screentime as tim and i can see when writers just Dont Get Him, misunderstanding the original intent of his character coming back etc etc etc, tim has grown and evolved throughout his tim as robin so this might factor in too)

Anyways sorry for the long post i hope this is alright !!! Loved ur fic to bits and ur writing is a blessing mwah

okay HI i am not exaggerating when i say that i have been thinking about this ask since you sent it HAHA tim is just a parasite in my brain he won't let go...

that's the funny thing about portrayals of him today... i feel like people want to elevate him as a potential batman or a character closest to bruce in terms of intelligence and detective skills, which isn't true at all, i think (because, exactly, you have babs Right There), and of course, narratively, this is all a good thing (this post covers it well, i think). it's in the same vein of people making tim out as the most dangerous person in the batfam, should he ever chose to go down the path, which i can partially blame red robin (2009) for with this panel....

(and i don't think that's true either. he has the potential to be dangerous just like any of the others but i think the ones to really be scared of are babs, dick, and cass but ANYWAY)

in general, red robin 2009 was a bumpy time for tim with bruce's death and his spiraling, but it seemed to really inform what they were going to do with his character. no more time for the civilian life, committing himself much more thoroughly to The Mission like bruce. which is, if you ask me, a negative progression of his character, which isn't bad, exactly, in terms of storytelling, but it feels like all we get are the 'good parts' now -- the intelligence, the status, the resources, and then we don't get to grapple with the consequences.

there were some in red robin 2009 but it was more tim accepting them and making no move to change his actions, which is fine, but now... idk. but i also don't touch modern comics with a ten foot pole so this could just be. Wrong. but that seems like what's going on. so i feel like that's where people get the idea of him being... idk not the Perfect Robin exactly but. you know?

no no yeah i totally agree!

re (because i want to break this down i'm telling you i have Been Thinking About This): at the same time i cant figure out exactly what he wants to do with his role as robin (or red robin) or why he would want to keep going when his main goals first were just making sure bruce wouldnt go down a dark path, im pretty sure he mentioned not being a vigilante forever but his actual goals remain unclear to me

exactly this. he did say that and i've reblogged this at some point i think, showing a panel from robin 1993 where he mentioned he wouldn't be a vigilante forever, then paralleled with that panel i put in earlier from red robin 2009. (there's this post, which touches on another thing about tim trying to set himself apart as having friends and thus not being bruce LOL which is another topic entirely)

i think that was what red robin 2009 was - a negative progression of his character, one that, again, we never really grapple with, especially as dc shoves robin back onto him now.

his motivations are an interesting thing to me, because he did start out coincidentally, saying batman needed a robin but he didn't assume he'd be that robin, it just kind of happened because he was there (well much more went into it but you know?).

but aside from that, i've never gotten the impression tim really does it for people. i mean batman in general has been about the detective work but i think towards the 80s/90s/00s there was a shift to focusing on the people but tim has never really struck me as a hero of the people. he's more about fighting crime than he is about helping people. i think it is partially informed by the genre - re detective comics, etc - but still. he's not like, say, peter parker/spider-man, who is a hero of the people, of the working class. the people are inherent to him as spider-man. tim does it out of duty and responsibility i think, being the light to batman's dark, of course, but he's also very much a teenage boy about being robin - the cool factor, pointedly mentioning he wants to let off steam by knocking around 'criminals' that kind of thing

which doesn't mean he's unfit for it but he operates in an odd grey area as far as his motivation goes, which i think is where we get red robin? he was defined by being robin and he did his job, then he got the boot. so it is very much an identity crisis but we're seeing that negative change as he changes for the worse, for something darker. i mean, yes, red robin 2009 was again bumpy because he was at a very low point in his life but in general, that run was dark for him.

editorial wise, we'd never get to see what they made of it because they did the reboot and started new-52 a few years after. but whether he'd continue being red robin/going down this path, or if he'd shed the identity and go for something lighter... it's hard to say.

i kind of like the thought that he'd change his identity and try to take a lighter approach, try to pull himself from bruce's influence, though with how it's all set it up, it seems fated that he'd end up there. there was red robin 2009, but then there was his sixteenth birthday incident (which sounds bad here and i'd read this before reading it myself but god when i read it it pissed me off so bad... really what turned me off bruce as a 'good' father figure, i can't lie). he ultimately ends up going back and becoming robin and this is the turning point for him where he agrees to enter this mindset that bruce wants him to be in. (this post talks mainly about timsteph but it is also a point to the end about the shift in his character and how that affected his relationships as well)

i mean i know red robin 2009 is marked by the grief of bruce's 'death' and a bunch of other Very Bad Shit but even when we got past that and he had his little 'Let me let in the people who love me because i am Not batman' he then proceeded to go a little surveillance crazy and make a hit list (something like that, it's been a while..) but. yeah.

ultimately, at the core of his character, i think he is good and compassionate and kind, so, even aside from all that (like the birthday incident), i think he would've made his way there eventually. it could maybe be why we see him returning to robin, if we wanted to try and pretend dc making him be robin is a completely normal and logical decision that they actually thought through. like a way to return to the bases and feel it out from there. though i still think they could've just. idk. given him a BREAK from vigilantism to figure it out. i'm a big proponent of civilians and their place amongst vigilantes and superheroes and i feel like tim's due a break, which is why i put that stuff in my fics. i do want to see him step back and try to figure out his life, because at one point, though robin 1993 was arguably defined by the balance between robin and tim drake and had plenty of civilian friends to keep things interesting, we don't see much as far as what he wants to do. which i suppose could be part of his relatability factor that tim drake, the character, was conceived with

but idk at this point they have to give us something 😭 anyway. this got VERY long i am very sorry.. i don't mind long asks either but i might've overshot my response... alas. i also hope i more or less answered your question??? if not feel free to slide back in here and talk to me! i rambled a bit here and it's like. 3am rn i'm scheduling this to post because i wanted to get it all written Now and. yeah.

thank you SO much very happy to hear you're enjoying everything <333 hope you continue to enjoy :**

[mikmiksinisipsip]

Having friends may be fun, especially if they're the right people. But it hurts when you dont get to see them anymore, because they will get colder to you, less interested in talking to you, not caring about you anymore, that's my view though.

Grade 7 ended, my friend group is starting to fall apart and i wished it never had to, this already happened many times in elementary but it hurts more now. The memories and everything we did, we still talk online but that doesn't stop that from us falling apart.

My friends are so cold, one of them is fun to talk to but theres problems happening right now. He's really dumb and i get annoyed but i just hold my anger and educate him trying to calm myself and stopping myself from literally cursing at him. Sometimes i am dumb too, dont we all? And when those times that I'm dumb, he gets mad at me. I get he has anger issues thats why i didn't want to say anything seriously rude to him.

I have a huge fear of losing friendships, its like losing a family. All my friends are cold nowadays, my one ex best friend who i probably had the best memories with probably backstabbed me, my other friend is not talking to me that much anymore, she says shes always busy, she barely reads my messages and she always replies late so i pretend that i understand instead of complaining.

About my ex friend, she was my best friend in grade 6, my best memories from now on, i loved playing with her, and i make sure to be cautious and watch my words trying not to offend her, because if i do, she will ghost me in almost a week. Non of my friends did that to me before, so of course i wasn't used to being ignored so much. When she did that for the first time i wasn't sure if shes mad, and i wanted to think that she isn't but i had a dream that time, she was there and she looked at me like i insulted her. I woke up and i asked my one friend who was always "busy" if she(ex bsf) is mad at me and she said that she is.

She got mad at me because i sent her a meme, that has the words: "my parents just got divorced" and that wasn't the point of the meme at all but she got offended because of that. I learned that her parents seperated when she was young, obviously i felt bad, but how was i supposed to know?

Ever since that day i was always cautious, not just watching my words in front of her, but all my friends. Fearing of being seen like a ghost, fearing abandonment or losing friendship.

Until we trio: me, ex bsf, and friend who is always busy enrolled in the same school since we all planned to because we failed the entrance exam in the other school. Me and another of our friend went to a different school sadly and we barely talk anymore when we all promised we wont.

Then when it was first day of high school, ex bsf straight up GHOSTED ME when i didn't say anything offensive. Then i realized, instead of ending a friendship she thought she will just ghost us and focus on her new friends. So me and my friend who is always busy decided we should end our friendship with her by sending her a whole essay, i mean, would she read it?

She didn't, but she replied.

"I'm sorry, i promise I'll change." that was a lie.

I didnt believe her, but we decided to talk to each other again, although she refused to talk to my other friend who is always busy.

I keep wondering why, i keep asking her why, i keep reminding her that im a safe place to talk to. Then she forwarded me the message my friend sent her, and it was the essay she (busy friend) sent that we both agreed to make an essay to her. The difference between our essays is that, i tried to be gentle, making sure no argument, harm or threats, but my busy friend was HARSH with it. Thats why she refused to talk to her.

Then one day ex bsf decided to say sorry and they get along again, but we decided to end our friendship again with her and i forgot the reason but then one day we become friends again. But that was probably the last time were ganna be friends, because me and busy friend wasn't satisfied with becoming friends with her again, we tried avoiding her.

However, she was acting nice to us, which is at least good? But it was suspicious somehow. Until another friend of mine, lets call her k-pop stan. She added me to the gc that i left because i was always last chat, and everyone was ignoring me there. She added me back because she needed to show something.

It was screenshots, it said that ex bsf backstabbed almost all her classmates including the class president. Literally all the guys who had a crush on her called her a red flag. The guys who she wont stop talking about, bragging and yapping about how they had a crush on her. Thats when i had enough.

I sent her the screenshots, and sent her a WHOLE essay again. And i swear i will never talk to her again. I didn't block her but she did block me. I didn't see her response because she has three unsents. Thats why shes my ex bsf now.

Then she decided to tell my busy friend that she got backstabbed by her friend. That friend of hers saying that she(ex bsf) is a backstabber. I hardly believe it.

It's very upsetting, outrageous, and it hurts too. But i will try to forget about it, to forget about her and our best memories. Right now, i dont mean any threats to her, or anything harmful against her, mentally, physically or emotionally. I dont want to be enemies or rivals with neither friends.

Anyways, moving on to my grade 7 friends, where i have a guy best friend for the first time and hes actually fun to be with. Its more comfortable with him especially since hes into men anyway. Lets call him Layla. And its really fun to be with layla, the laughters and memories. The rest of my grade 7 friends are so dry, but not him. We always have a lot in common and then we say were twins.

About another friend, lets call her Aladdin. She's a girl of course, girls and boys liked her. She had a twin sister and that twin sister was my classmate in grade 6. I considered her my favorite in our circle of friends because i find it calming to talk to her, it felt very comfortable. I love to hug her.

Then this girl, k-pop stan. I like her music taste, and she is VERY beautiful and i was jealous of her wavy hair until she decided to turn it straight.

Layla, Aladdin, K-pop stan and me was the original circle of friends. And in this circle, we decided to let some join.

Donut, foot, dirt, aly, sandy.

The members of the gc kept increasing, barely anyone is paying attention to me. I stopped joining the circle when its lunch time. I was uncomfortable eating on the ground and being in a circle with a lot of people eating too. Especially Foot and sandy was body shaming me about how skinny I am. Thats one of the main reasons why i stopped eating with them.

Donut was the first girl i talked to when it was first days of high school, and she was SO dry. Literally dry asf. I did not enjoy talking to her and it was obvious she isn't interested in talking to me so i stopped.

We didn't like foot and dirt, they are cringe and problematic, foot thinks shes the most mature when shes most definitely the least mature. Dirt is very childish.

We're still friends with Sandy because why not. The only offensive thing she has done is body shaming me and not knowing how to comfort or atleast listen when someone is opening up to her.

About Aly, she is a very nice person. I like her, she is the smartest in our class and she takes the role of being the mother of the group even though shes the youngest. I don't talk to her much anymore after our recognition.

Now back to the ORIGINAL circle of friends. Which is very dry. K-pop stan is dry and cold. Aladdin is dry and cold, Layla is offensive but he's the only one i can talk to.

K-pop stan didn't do anything that is offensive to me, she may have but it's that big of a deal. About Aladdin, she very much offended me. Lied to me multiple times and acts like there's nothing wrong with it. I don't remember her apologizing sincerely. Last time i talked to her was about me literally venting almost about to cry about how much I'm so uncomfortable with my grandma and dad. I told her what happened and she reacted with "😭". I corrected her and I told her nothing is funny and her response was "oh". Thats all. Thats all she had to say. It felt like talking to a ghost. I was talking to air, nothing. I guess she didn't know what to say.

I wanted to rant ALL OF THIS to someone. But i know a family member cant help, I know a friend wont read any of my messages. My friend who is always busy, replies like a day late. Aly replies late, Sandy is not good with people venting to her, Layla will get offended, k-pop stan is dry and replies late, Aladdin replies late and she doesn't know how to talk in a conversation. I have another friend who is my very first best friend in my life and we barely talk anymore. She replies late too. I cant talk to anyone. Theres no one to talk to. It feels like I'm now all alone, completely alone and all i could do is type it instead to no one but for myself.

[stargirlrchive]

Subtle Chase (Regulus Black)

masterlist // request are open

request: reader is determined to be regulus' friend, regulus is reluctant and wants to be left alone. so why does he despise it so much when he is? // click here to read request

author's note(s): i don't know how I feel about this one yet. but i hope anon enjoyed this! i tried my best and i do like it but i feel like it isn't what anon wanted??? idk im insecure LMAOOO, i just hope whoever requested this enjoys it as well! also i am shit at titles, sorry about it

disclaimer: jealous!regulus but it's cute lmao GIF ISN'T MINE

pairing: regulus black x reader

word count: 1,499

You had no idea when this situation catapulted into where you were now. All you wanted was to make Regulus your friend, your comrade. And perhaps you did have a small crush, who wouldn’t? However it was easier said than done, way easier. To start off, he would not even give you the time of day. He’d ignore you, walk away from you, and even once told you that you’d never be friends.

To be fair, he said you couldn’t be friends, and in your very being you knew it was because of the pressures he had as a pureblood Slytherin. They rivaled every house in Hogwarts, even amongst themselves.

He didn’t have the support of anyone else and he couldn’t risk losing the few friends he did have, even if he did think you were really pretty.

So you made it your mission for the past school year to become friends with him, and since Slughorn’s party was coming up you thought it would be great to go together. Let him see just how intelligent and fun you are.

So as you walked through the large double doors of the great hall you scanned over the heads sporting silver and green until they spotted neat black curls, a smile instantly making its way to your face.

You walked happily, a small beat in your step at the prospect of finally making a break, you were very optimistic despite your track record with him, “Hello, Regulus! Do you mind if I sit here?”

You spoke to him as you placed your books on the open seat next to him. He looked up at you, with all the annoyance of the world on his face and ready to tell you no. But your big round eyes softened him up, made his heart feel mushy and warm, and he despised it. ”You already set your things down, didnt you?”

Your smile remained strong, unwavering as you sat beside him, “So, how has your day been so far?”

Regulus remained quiet, reading over his potions essay and trying his best to ignore you. He didn’t want to crack, he built walls, kept people like you away from him.

“My day was pretty uneventful, just studied for the exam we have for def-”

“Is there a reason you're here? I’m quite busy.”

He waved his parchment paper around in front of you,

“Oh-right. Yes, I was actually wondering if you’d like to accompany me to Slughorn’s party. As friends, obviously. But I figured since we’re the only two people he invited from our year it would be nice to show comradeship.”

Your smile was sincere, “Why would you think I would want to go with you?”

Your face fell, and something dropped in the pit of his stomach but he couldn’t stop the words tumbling out of his mouth, “Besides, I am already taking someone else, and you and I are not friends.”

You cleared your throat, before nodding quickly, “Right, sorry.”

You picked your things up swiftly and left without saying anything. Regulus was trying his hardest to push down the guilt he was feeling in the very center of chest. He kept telling himself that he didn't care for you, the two of you had no type of relationship or friendship. So why in Merlin’s name was he feeling like someone was pulling at his heart?

-

It had been several days since the last encounter with Regulus, and before this you were adamant on making him your friend. But no longer, the last time really stung. So you tried to forget and push him to the far back of your mind and pretend he never existed. He didn’t have to be so mean. And as a last stitch of effort to ease the disappointment you were feeling, you had now made it your mission to forget him.

Regulus knew it too, he was way too mean, and as the days went on and your random pop-ins stopped, he grew lonely. He’d never admit it, but it was true. He’d catch himself looking for you in the sea of people and make himself stop.

However tonight you caught his eye before he even realized he was looking for you. Your gown was a dark green and glittered off the reflection of the light. It complimented you so well and Regulus felt his throat tighten up. He felt warm all around, until he saw the 6ft something Ravenclaw smiling brightly at you, with your arm entangled around his.

It made his chest burn at the thought of you being here with anyone else. How did this even happen? You were asking him to attend with you just a few days ago, and now here you are.

He started making his way towards you, until Slughorn stopped in front of him, with three of his very influential friends and he had no way of escaping him. However his eyes followed you around the room, and the hand that lingered on your lower back.

He was fine with keeping a watchful eye on you, it made the simmering of his chest ease up when he knew where you were. That was until you had both been pulled into a conversation and you didn’t even bat an eye in his direction. Giggling quietly with whatever his name was as he whispered in your ear over the loud music. Regulus cleared his throat, trying to get your attention but you continued to ignore him.

You felt your heart begin to beat harder against your chest as Regulus reached out for you when he was close enough, “Can we please talk? Now?”

He looked insistent, and desperate so you excused yourself quickly and followed behind him as he held onto your wrist gently.

You made it to the most secluded part of the room and it was until then that he dropped your wrist. He paced back and forth in front of you “Is there a reason you took me away from Ph-”

“Why are you here with him?”

His arms crossed over his chest as he waited for you to answer, “I beg your pardon?”

“Why are you here with him? You had asked me a few days ago and now you're here with someone else.”

Regulus knew he was being irrational, but he couldn’t think straight, you just looked so pretty and you were ignoring him and he hated it. “That is none of your business.”

“I know.”

“Then?”

He didn’t know what to say, but you were finally acknowledging him, and he felt shy under your stare so he mumbled out quietly, “I don’t like you ignoring me.”

“You are so bloody confusing you know that? I wanted to be your friend, you didn’t want to be my friend. So I left you alone, but now you don’t want me to leave you alone? I don’t think that is fair to me.”

“I know that too, I don’t know. I just don’t think you need to be involved in all of this and I thought I was okay but then you show up here, with that oaf and-and I can’t stand it.”

“Philip is not an oaf!”

Regulus felt his eyes roll to the very back of his head at the mention of his name, “You know, even if we did become friends, I could still have other friends.”

“I don’t like him.”

“You don’t even know him!”

“No well after tonight I have seen enough.”

“This conversation is going nowhere, so I’m leaving.”

You began walking away from him but he reached out for you once more, “Okay-okay, I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t be telling you anything, and I regret telling you no, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I also think you didn’t need to parade him around and ignore me but that's something we can talk about another day.”

You laughed quietly as he continued to ramble, cheeks flushed up as he ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, I get it, you desperately want to be my friend, you can’t live without me.”

You pushed at his chest playfully to get him to ease up, and tried to stop the smile that was stuck on your face as Regulus flushed darker.

“I really want to get to know you, and hopefully have you stop thinking I’m such an asshole?”

“I never thought you were an asshole-”

He gave you a ‘seriously?’ look, “Okay, maybe the last time we talked I did think you were. But clearly I just made you nervous.”

His face cracked a smile, “Exactly.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Hey-”

You laughed quietly and moved yourself away from the wall as he spoke quietly, “So, friends?”

‘’More or less.”

You smiled as you made your way back towards the crowd, feeling a small flutter in the pit of your stomach as he laughed and followed behind you before stopping abruptly, “Wait a minute, where is your date?”

TAGLIST: @swellwriting​ @carolinesbookworld​ @theboywhocriedlupin​ @awfulmoons​ @lumos-barnes​ @fortisfiliae​ @finnofamerica​ @beskarjedi​ @aperrywilliams​ @ta-ka-shi-ma​ @SPENCELUVBOT @la-vie-en-amour1​ (LET ME KNOW IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE ADDED <3 (or removed))

[technowoah]

Can I request a prompt #37 with Karl Jacobs? I love your writing btw :)

Ring(s)

The four times Karl tried to propose and the one time he actually did.

- Karl Jacobs x gen!neutral reader!

- Prompts: 37) "Are you proposing?!"

⚠︎ swearing, fluff, angst if you squint and a rushed ending. I didn't proofread either

an// TYSM FOR LIKING MY WORK 😭ALSO Thanks for requesting and sorry this came out so late! Hope you enjoy :)

To say that Karl loved you was an understatement. He adored you and practically worshipped the ground you stood on. He is so respectful, which is a major upgrade from your other boyfriends, and loves you for who you are. You didn't have to put on a facadè at all during the 3 years you two have dated.

This love wasn't a one way thing. You loved him just as much, or even more, than he did. Everything he did you supported, you were always cheering him on from wherever you were. You were here for the good and the bad, and he was too. You two never shyed away from admiting your love and support. You could write a essay on each thing you love about Karl.

The idea of marriage came up during a late night dinner at Denny's. The idea came so naturally to you, so it surprised Karl that you didn't tense up. Karl was tense when bringing up the topic of marriage, so when you said "Yeah, I wanna get married to you one day." so casually it caught him off gaurd.

You two had already talked about marriage time and time again, but this time Karl wanted to take the initiative. He was ready to get married and since the marriage talk was just a few months ago it was fresh in his mind. Karl could vividly imagine you walking down the aisle towards him looking angelic. He could see everything now and he wanted those daydreams to become a reality. He wanted to physically feel your hands against his as you two say "I do" to one another.

He couldn't stop thinking about settling down in a nice house with you. Karl already bought a ring for you and always has it with him. Now he justs needs to figure out how to tell you.

1st proposal: Fireworks

"THIS IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE FIREWORK IN THE ENTIRE WORLD-"

You blocked out Jimmy's yelling as you sat in a lawn chair in the middle of the woods. Karl had invited you to a MrBeast video shoot because he thought it would be a great early 4th of July. It was late at night and slightly cool outside, so you were wearing a MrBeast hoodie Karl was wearing earlier. You zoned out as the boys talked to the camera over and over again, taking multiple shots.

You found yourself looking at Karl most of the time you sat there and you always caught his gaze towards you. Every time you caught him looking at you, you sent him a small wave or blow him a kiss and every time he sent a shy wave back or sent a more exaggerated kiss back.

During halfway through the shooting you begrudgingly had to move your lawn chair further and further away from your original spot. Karl always checked up on you before and after each firework set were blown up. He has been acting fidgety around you and you didnt know why. When you tried to confront him about it he would always turn away and go back to the boys without a glance back, and his hands in his pockets.

You loved watching the guys play with so many different types of fireworks, this was a great 4th of July for you, but you wished that Karl was sitting next to you feeling the bliss that you were.

You were currently sitting behind bulletproof glass while the guys had a control panel on their lap. Karl kept sending glances towards you and you looked at him and smiled whishing he was next to you and not over by the guys. You knew it was selfish, but he invited you here.

Karl kept bouncing his leg, he kept his hand in his pocket which held the ring. He kept sending glances towards you, knowing he should be on one knee right about now. Jimmy was about to fire off the last rocket of the night and Karl couldn't seem to go over and ask you to marry him. He knew he was hilding himself back which made him hate himself. You deserved a good night and he hoped you enjoyed the fireworks, but he knew on the ride back he would have to apologize.

He stayed with the boys as they went to go see the fireworks they would be setting off soon. Once they came back they were all about to press the button to set off the expensive fireworks they counted down from 5 and he looked towards you. You were standing up with your arms crossed, hopefully shielding yourself from the cold, and looking towards the fireworks that were going to burst. They finally pressed the button the fireworks went off.

Each burst of light in the air sent a glow onto your smiling face. Karl sent a somber glace and marveled in how the explosion of the fireworks sent a beautiful glow around you.

This wasnt the right time. Next time.

2nd proposal: Donuts

"Im sorry for last night." Karl apologized as you both took a seat at a booth by the window at the small coffee and donut shop.

This was supposed to be an apology for the last failed proposal. Instead of spending time with you, he kept his distance which was the opposite of what he really wanted to do. This was a way to spend much needed time with eachother, but this was also another attempt at a proposal.

Karl wanted to hide the ring in the middle of a donut so when you inevitably look at it when he hands it to you, you'll see the ring and then he'll propose right there. To him it seemed flawless.

You never wanted a huge proposal. You didnt want that much attention on you when your future significant other would propose. Something simple would be the ideal proposal and you've hinted that many times to Karl and right now he was listening. There were only two other couples in the small diner because others were picking up donuts and leaving. If he decided to get down on one knee it would cause a scene.

You stayed silent for a moment looking at Karl before deciding to speak.

"It's no problem. Please dont stress out about it." You smiled softly and he smiled back at you. "I mean the fireworks were beautiful, but you all were screaming too much."

You both laughed as you both recalled that night in the desert.

"Yeah I just didn't..I didn't really talk to you all night. I feel bad." Karl said fiddling with his hands.

"Its in the past Karl. And I still know you love me." You reached out to grab both of his hands and hold his cool hands in yours.

"I do love you." He whispered for only you to hear leaving both of you smiling ear to ear.

"What kind of donuts you want?" Karl asked looking into your eyes carefully.

You thought about it for a while before speaking up. "I'll keep it simple. Icing with sprinkles. Surprise me with the icing color!" You exclaimed while letting go of his hands for a second.

Once you two let go of eachothers hands he immediately went to his pocket and played with the velvet box. He nodded his head and without a word he stood up to meet the cashier behind the display box of donuts. He ordered only one donut as you said with orange icing this time.

He paid for the food and stayed at the counter where he paid. Karl looked back to see if you were paying attention to him only to see you looking out the window at the people passing by. Karl smiled at the sight knowing he really wants to marry you one day and then he looked down at the glistening ring inside of the box.

Karl was supposed to put the ring in the middle of the donut that was laying alone on a napkin on the counter. He started to think of the possibilities of what could happen. What if you didn't see the ring and crumble the ring with the napkin and throw it away? What if you accidentally put the ring in your mouth? What if you weren't hungry anymore?

He looked over again to where you were looking at him giving him the same smile you gave during the fireworks. Karl sighed and once again closed the box with the ring. He was a coward and he knew that.

Karl picked up the donut from the counter and made his way over to you.

"Here's your donut with sprinkles and orange icing!" Karl exclaimed putting emphasis on the 'orange' part.

"Thanks babe!" You smiled as he sat down across from you. "Wait, you didn't get anything for yourself?"

Karl sighed again for what seemed like the 100th time today and put on a smile. "I ended up not being as hungry as I thought I was."

"Well I could always share!" You started to eat your donut as Karl ended up looking outside.

Unbeknownst to you he was thinking of another way to propose without himself getting in his own head.

He'll find a time.

3rd proposal: Livestream

"Chat! As you can see I have my significant other here with me!" Karl exclaimed to his Twitch following.

You were sat next to him in another one of his office chairs with a blanket across your lap. You loved to join Karl's streams, the last couple of time you two played minecraft, gang beats, played on the nitendo switch for a while, but this time he didn't tell you what games you two would be playing. Karl just told you to come over tonight and ended up asking to join him for a stream last minute.

Now you are here next to him as Karl glows with excitement as he streams to his growing followers. You loved how he interacted with his fans and had a genuine connection with them, but sometimes that strong connection can, and has led to some nights where you had to stay the night and comfort him from his inner demons and the internet. Those nights made you love him even more, the vulnerability he gave to you made you comfortable with him.

It seems like the more time you spend eith him the more you want to officially get married. You didn't want to rush him because you soon figured out for yourself that there is no rush to express your love, which you two do everyday day. You two can get eloped in Vegas and you'll be happy, as long as you can spend the rest of your life with the man you love.

Karl kept sending glances towards you throughout the stream hoping you were having fun with the chill, q and a stream. Again he wanted to propose to you tonight during the stream. He loved showing your relationship whenever he could and whenever you would allow him to. His community also loved you the moment you became his significant other, so hopefully this will be a beautiful moment.

You talked to his chat as he contemplated, again, about whether to propose tonight. It wasn't infront of people, it was infront of a screen and it would be on Twitter in less than a week. This would be a good moment, but then again he wanted this moment to be between you two and he couldn't find the right time nor the right "moment".

As the stream continues you ended up wrapping yourself fully in the blanket and lying your head on his shoulder. You both cuddled eachother while you two answered questions. Karl kissed the top of your head and finally collected all of his thoughts.

He didn't need to propose to officially claim his love to you. Karl knew you both loved eachother to the ends of the Earth and back. There's no need for ceremony and the one day he will propose, he know it will come naturally. There is no need to force it, and now he wont.

Only time will tell.

4th proposal: spongebob

"Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you!

Aye, aye, captain!

Oh!"

The TV illuminated the comfortable, dark room you two were in. You were lying on the couch with Karl with the blanket you had while streaming. It was late at night after the stream and you two ended up watching re-runs of spongebob. Karl sang along to the theme song softly while you hummed along. This was the 4th episode you both watched this night and it was a great way to end the week.

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" Karl asked softly with tiredness in his voice.

"Of couse. Im too tired to move, so thanks for offering." You chuckled.

"You're welcome here anytime." Karl yawned and squeezed your sides. "Do you want popcorn?"

"Hell yeah." You got off of Karl as he walked to the kitchen.

He put the bag into the microwave and leaned back onto the kitchen counter as he waited. Karl looked over to the side and saw a empty vase which was next to the velvet box he was carrying with him this whole week. He shook his head and laughed to himself before getting the popcorn out of the microwave, dumping it in a bowl and walking back to see you taking up the whole couch.

"Move over or I'll sit on you." Karl said standing above her.

"Is that a promise?" You teased.

"Okay then!" He turned around and began to slowly and dramatically fake sitting ontop of you.

You began to laugh and try to push him off of you. You successfully got him to sit down and returned to your previous position, but this time with popcorn.

"I love you, you know that?" You hummed into his chest.

"Yeah, and I love you more."

"I love you most."

"I love you mostest." Karl laughed.

"That's not a word." You smiled.

"I love you so much I made up a word for ya." Karl kissed you head and you hugged him tighter.

"You know what?" Karl chuckled. "I love you so much that I tried to propose to you 3 times this week."

Karl finished and you sat up from your spot looking surprised. Karl sat up as well thinking he made a mistake telling you. He was abkut to apologize, but you beat him to speak.

"Oh my gosh!" You exhaled.

"Look, I'm sorr-"

"Are you proposing?!" You exclaimed with a smile on your face.

"Huh-?"

Karl was surprised just like you were before. He remembered that he wanted the Maybe this was the moment he needed this week.

Karl grabbed both of your hands and caressed them both, looking into your eyes. "I was planning to all week. But now I think this is a good moment. So Y/N? Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will!" You enveloped him into a tight hug and peppered his face with kisses. He finally found his moment and he couldn't be happier.

"You said you tried to propose three other times?" You questioned. "When was that?"

"Its a long story."

[xlysaaa]

Ahhhhhh

Ok, so this might become a bit of a long post. After reading the latest Kono oto Tomare! chapter, i just have to get these feelings off my chest. It'll be random & full ramblings.

i put some panels of chapter 105 but also from 99.5 in this post.

-> lot of spoilers, so read at your own risk <-

this wont be a review or something. I just want to ramble and scream.

First of all, Chikas father . . .

I have literally no fucking words for this sorry excuse of a father! seeing this flashback made me wanna puke my fucking guts out on the floor.

how much do you have to sink as a human being to make YOUR VERY OWN CHILD think this?

What kind of human scum do you have become to tell to YOUR VERY OWN SON " It's hell. Ever since you were born, Its always been hell." ?! What kind of heartless huge shit being do you have to be to treat your very own son like he's the worst, like he isnt worth of human affection or care?!

While Chika was scared & uncomfortable, because he punched someone for the first time to defend himself, instead of talking about it the father looked at him like he was dirt.

When Chika went to the Takaokas that day in Chapter 99.5, he brought back come of the selfmade cake from Tetsukis mum, because he wanted to share it with his father, he thought he could make him happy.

look at this adorable sweet baby bean? how dare you make him cry. ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

Imagine a little smiling chika hoping his father would come back early from work to share this delicious cake with him. . . and THEN! imagine the father telling chika in his drunk state all those horrible things, while chika still cares for his father and put a blanket on him to keep him warm. Only for the faher to say ".. I cant bringt myself to love you."

We read in the latest chapter that his mother left with another man, chika cant even remember her face, because he was 2 years old. If its because of the dad, why wouldnt she take chika with her? i dont care whatever her business is, she is as much to blame as this human trash called father. There were so many moments were i had to pause for a bit cause these scenes were too heartbreaking.

Of course Chika would never treasure himself when never once did his father! How should he know how to hold himself dear, when his father never did?

I cant find even the words to describe, what i'm feeling. I feel so sick to my stomach.

I'm so glad that he had his grandpa who cherished him and gave Chika affection. He always encouraged Chika. "Hey, Chika. Dont give up on yourself" & showed him the Koto. He & Tetsuki literally pulled Chika out of the deep darkness & showed him light.

Look Chika, they're all waiting for you! T____T

- - - - - - -- - - - - - -

When Tetsuki transfered into Chikas class, a boy told him that he shouldnt get involved with chika because he's a loner & he's trouble. He said "Instead you can be friend with us" to which Tetsuki replied "Thanks. But no thanks." IN YO FACE YOU SHITTY BULLY CHILD.

Anyways, after school the boy & his friends planed to isolate Tetsuki & bully him . . welp, these boys forget chika "LAME. You guys are super lame." and off they go :'D thank to these shitty children ⬇️

a wonderful unbreakable friendship started! They became best friends who were inseparable. /chikas adorable blush q.q sweet baby bean!!!

When Chika had an argument with his father & left the house, he was bullied by middles schoolers & fought. . . it was then when they started to slowly fall apart.. Chika started to avoid Tetsuki & isolated himself again. Even when Tetsuki tried to ask what happened or tried to help him, Chika would only say "Its got nothing to do with you, do dont butt in." Tetsuki blamed himself "If only I had been there the first time Chika had fought. Maybe we could've run. Maybe we could've feigned defeat. Anything so he didnt have to deal with their attention. Any maybe he would still be . . ." He missed his best friend & was worried what would happen to Chika if he keeps going on like this..

Tetsuki was told by the teacher that his mother had an accident & needs surgery. He's waiting anxious in the hospital, hoping for the best, trying to keep the worst case thoughts away . . thats when Chika comes running into the hospital he was worried!

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS SIMPLY PERFECTION, I CANT!!! ૮₍ ꒦꒳꒦ ₎ა❤

When Tetsukis dad said to Chika that he heard a lot about him from his wife & thanked him for supporting Tetsuki, he asked about his wounds & if they hurt. . thats when Tetsuki learns the reason, why chika kept his distance from him. He didnt want to involve him or put him in danger. "E-Everything's fine! I'm not hanging out with Tetsuki anymore, nobody's seen us together, nobody knows we're friends or anything. I would never drag him into my problems. Never."

Takaoka-papa is as wonderful as Takaoka-mama, jesus the Takaoka family is a bunch of lovely human beings, help me!!!

BONUS:

WHY ARE THEY SO DAMN WONDERFUL??/Tetsuki is so happy for chika *ugly sobbing deluxe*

I'm so glad that that he had Tetsuki right beside him, i dont wanna imagine what would have happened to Chika without his support & affection.

For me, they have one of the most wonderful & most strongest bond ever. I love their friendship so much, seriously i could probably write an essay about them & would never be able go stop. 🥺❤❤❤

Chika went through so much already, he fought his way through life, suffered, so NOW! Let him finally become happy!

Ufff, i didnt mean to make it THIS long.. but there's so much to say about this manga & the relationships chika made or the persons met.ヾ( இ⌓இ)ﾉﾞ

[tottymatsuno]

osomats!

favorite thing about them

Osomatsu completely rejects the eldest daughter syndrome he's been assigned! You can tell he both aligns with being the oldest but literally only when it serves him. It's really realistic that when it doesn't benefit Osomatsu he is quick to point out (and the only one who really comes to mind) that theyre ALL the same age! He's the oldest arbitrarily and doesn't want the responsibility.

but another thing I enjoy about him is despite this, he's pretty quick to assume a leadership position. I think even if Osomatsu wasn't the oldest he'd still be the leader. I alssooo enjoy the trauma exploration, I also think it's neat that Osomatsu has lead a children's crusade, and is often the direct cause of the tension between the six of them. He's the blind leading the lame, he's the child rallying the others to follow him, he's the eldest and therefore the most responsible for the safety of people only moments younger. He shouldn't have been put in this position, he was NEVER allowed any time for himself!

I forget what the word is but there's a term when it comes to marginalization where certain groups/people who are oppressed will have more representation while also still being suffering under that lens. I think Osomatsu has that! He doesnt benefit from being the main character, or the leader, or anything and he isn't allowed to be treated like the child he was or the young adult he is.

and what I like the most about Osomatsu is that he just says "that's on YOU if you expected me to be more mature then the rest of you. It's YOUR fault for buying into the idea that I should be an example, we are all the same age. Follow me or don't, it's your choice."

hes neat. i didnt mean to write this essay but ough. also his DPD....having multiple subtypes of it...it's pretty well written and delicious to me tbh! I also have DPD but a much different type, and well I think Osomatsu is good and compassionate rep for someone who has been GROOMED LITERALLY SINCE BIRTH to foster this dynamic. He's never once since those cells split six times had a moment or space truly for himself. He shared the womb, the room, their parents, their friends, their experiences, his life, his family, his clothes, his thoughts, all of it without a single real second to be his own true person.

He is The Osomatsu - medical anomaly, eldest and de facto leader, he is the golden child, the one that the light is casted off of to create the five shadows. He has been assigned the original and deals with the tension he created by buying into it as a child that these things made him special and not traumatized.

Of course when he splits his breath six ways he'll feel terrified that one day he'll have to breathe for himself. That those lungs will one day be his alone.

He's just neat!!!

least favorite thing about them

maybe he should stop farting near peoples food, nasty ass. Todomatsu was right to want to kill him for that <3

favorite line

:^( heart breaking moment.

brOTP

PARKA, BENI, CHOUKEI. i dont really care for sodoku sorry lol....

OTP

Osomatsu's polycule! Totoso, Osonyaa, Osobita, and all of them together! plus I think anybody who wants him should have him so once again my little divvy princess.

nOTP

bl, also anything with him and iyami or that tougou guy. kys if you ship that <3

random headcanon

Osomatsu should learn a trade! Ooor he should become an accountant! He seems good with those sort of thinking imo. Or or.

Osomatsu should become a marriage/relationship counselor. Seems weird but Oso has a pretty keen eye at analysing and reading people, can offer sound advice and I think the intimate details would keep his nasty ass interested and invested in the problems. He'd be pretty good at it imo.

unpopular opinion

Osomatsu was totally justified in smacking Jyushimatsu tbh from the scene I posted above. I'm the 2nd eldest on my mamas side, and the eldest on my Daddy's. There's been multiple times I've attacked my siblings for hitting me first and these are people aside from one that I'm older than. Not that it's a healthy expression of anger, nor did Jyushi intend to hurt Osomatsu physically - he did. Multiple times, causing him to drop his food several times. Osomatsu warned him more than once too to watch out and imo was very patient. Osomatsu was clearly not having a good time and these brothers have physically fought over less. like literally they all fought over eating some pastries, Osomatsu did nothing wrong after verbally warning him multiple times.

When you have a ton of siblings you learn pretty quickly "keep your hands/legs to yourself" and "if you're old enough to hit, you're old enough to be hit back" I kinda think that's intergral to keep the peace within families.

I think it was the serious tone and the violence directly afterwards but imo it never crossed my mind that Osomatsu was in the wrong about this. Jyushi should've watched tf out after the first time, second time at the most. Osomatsu said it hurt. >:/

song i associate with them

favorite picture of them

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

so get this. I was gonna roll around in Tombstone related fluff today - but no, no - this post came across my dash so Now We Are Gonna Discuss the Carnal Consumption of Meat as it appears on That Show Supernatural.  YEAH BUDDIES!

(also my sincere apologies to OP of the inspiration post who innocently tagged it with “lunch date!”  because I am about to go Elsewhere, cursedly).

Let’s all go meat man, after the cut!

This analysis centers primarily on 5x14 Bloody Valentine.  The title of course is a semi-homage to a 3D Slasher Film Jensen starred in circa 2009. 

Which I will be renting soon I guess.  ,[<- parasocial panda GET BACK IN YOUR ENCLOSURE]

Also Its Really Fun that the trailer for Said Cinema ends with “nothing says date movie like a 3-D ride to hell” [are you also thinking of Cas pulling Dean out of hell, or are you normal?]  ***unironically the teaser for 5x14 is -

EXT. SIDEWALK - IN FRONT OF ALICE'S APARTMENT BUILDING

RUSSEL 

First date.

They then eat each other.  Literally they eat each others flesh.  They also do it while dirty talking about it.  SPN IS A SHOW 

ALICE Ugh! I've been so alone. So empty...

RUSSEL I know. Me too.

ALICE I want you, Russel---All of you... inside me...

[they both take bites out of each other, Alice chewing on a piece of Russel's flesh]

****Remember this detail, as it is important.

ANYWAY, it’s truly Cursed that not only are we doing an homage to this 3-D Jensen Horror Date Flick but also this episode is specifically centered on Valentine’s Day.  The day honoring romance and love Now Coopted by Hallmark, everyone, that is the day spn writers chose to introduce us to 

Sir Horseman of THE Biblical Apocalypse Famine. 

Canonically, we are aware that the show is drawing from the book of Revelations in its depiction of the Four Horsemen.  Here’s what it says about Famine -

"When He broke the third seal, I heard the third living creature saying, "Come." I looked, and behold, a black horse; and he who sat on it had a pair of scales in his hand.”

-Revelations 6:5

Famine holds scales (used to weigh out grain in times of food scarcity).  Spn’s depiction is represented as hunger, a bottomless pit of need.  It consumes souls (demon and human alike).  

Cas describes Famine a little more poetically:

CASTIEL 

"And then will come Famine riding on a black steed. He will ride into the land of plenty... "

"... and great will be the Horseman's hunger, for he is hunger. "

"His hunger will seep out and poison the air. "

***Consider a prior season in which we are introduced to the Seven Deadly Sins.  Which are the sins associated with hunger?

Gluttony

and Lust.

***this is also important

Back to the episode.  Case cold open, and we find out that Alice was a Nice Girl.  In that she didnt drink, smoke or

have premarital sex.

***So Alice’s hunger for the sin of Lust caused her to succumb to it; and her demise was presented as Gluttony (literally eating her partner’s flesh). HMM

Famine’s presence is affecting the town, and Cas is not immune.

DEAN 

And when did you start eating?

CASTIEL 

Exactly. My hunger-- it's a clue, actually.

***They lay it out a little more in case you missed it ->

SAM 

I thought famine meant starvation, like as in, you know, food.

CASTIEL 

Yes. Absolutely. But not just food. I mean, everyone seems to be starving for something--Sex, attention, drugs, love...

***this is so important.  but of course because its spn and our textual narrators are generally unreliable (even in a Ben Edlund episode, yes I know)

we get a red herring

CASTIEL 

Right. The cherub made them crave love, and then Famine came, and made them rabid for it.

***but that’s not accurate.  they didn’t get married or become obsessed with each other (remember the cursed coin in 4x08 Wishful Thinking and the unconditional love wish? not what happened here). they had premarital sex.  they did the thing Alice considers wrong, and dark, and sinful.  and then they ate each others’ flesh.

DEAN 

Okay, but what about you? I mean, since when do angels secretly hunger for White Castle?

CASTIEL 

It's my vessel-- Jimmy. His, uh, appetite for red meat has been touched by Famine's effect

***mad lad Jimmy Novak’s hunger is for...red meat?  He is starving for red meat?  You are telling me that the Novaks, red blooded conservative religious midwestern Novaks, ate RED MEAT SO SPARINGLY that Jimmy Novak was LITERALLY starving for it?!?!  No way.  Absolutely no way.  This is a man who was such a religious zealot he STUCK HIS HAND IN BOILING WATER and accepted an angel of the lord into his own body but his secret hunger was for fucking ground beef?

give me a damn break.

to me this is an absolute coverup.  Because Cas’s burger consumption is not related one iota to his vessel Jimmy Novak.

it is a representation of Cas falling.  Cas’s cravings for meat represent his growing (and very much prohibited) feelings for...humanity (Dean Winchester), and they are presenting as Gluttony in the form of his downing more and more copious amounts of red meat.  

SERIOUSLY, consider this - at one point the depiction is so desperately carnal that he is eating raw ground beef with his bare hands. It is fucking uncomfortable.  and it is SUPPOSED to be.  Famine stirs up hunger for the prohibited.  For the sinful. That which we are starving for but do not believe we can ever have, so we lust and we lust and we LUST after it, but should we allow ourselves even just a taste of what we have been ravenously craving, we binge it until we ourselves disappear into the oblivion of our own sinful, dark desires.

Since You Want More Examples of why this cant possibly be hunger for Cheeseburgers and Cheeseburgers alone, Consider Famine’s effect on Dean.  Remember his doctor kink?

**when its revealed that Doctor Corman has succumbed to Famine’s poison by drinking himself to death, Dean - very uncharacteristically by the way - reacts by saying out loud

DEAN Thanks. Crap! I really kind of liked this guy.

***please note that Doctor Corman says the following to Dean in the prior scene they have together -

DR. CORMAN [to Dean]

Agent Marley, you just can't stay away.

****was that a flirtation?

***Also, Dean doesn’t want to go out and chase tail for Valentines Day.   

SAM

I mean, what do you always call it-- Uh, unattached drifter Christmas?

DEAN 

Oh, yeah. Well... be that as it may...I don't know. Guess I'm not feeling it this year.

SAM 

So you're not into bars full of lonely women?

DEAN 

Nah, I guess not. [takes a sip of his beer] Ahh. What?

SAM 

That's when a dog doesn't eat-- That's when you know something's really wrong.

***oh look we are relating things to eating again.  sex/lust to gluttony.  hmmm hmmm hmmm

ANYHOW -  *takes deep breath*

 this is also the Episode Where This Scene Lives

****JACKTING JOICES

oh and speaking of jacting joices, this is also the Dean Notices Cupids Crotch Episode.

frAckles, I am once again asking why you only permit celestial beings to hug you from behi-[gunshots]

but Dean isn’t hungry.  Why? Famine has the explanation, and we get it after Dean immediately runs inside after Cas heads in to complete his portion of their plan barely giving him any time to do so because he misses him that much.

FAMINE 

I disagree. [Famine moves closer to Dean and touches him] Yes. I see. That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex.

DEAN 

Oh, you're so full of crap.

FAMINE 

Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! 

***not Dean making all of those homophobic/homoerotic jokes every time he’s in danger or feeing uncomfortable; not that, that can’t possibly be what Famine is referencing, right?

I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. 

***not THIS parallel:

AMARA:

You're a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel, except… It's cloaked in shame

You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions. 

***not the motions of performative heterosexuality!!

***Dean’s not hungry because in his heart he truly believes that he can’t actually have what he hungers for.  That Thing Which This Episode Overtly but Also Very Clearly Made Obvious.  It’s an angel riding shotgun [I did Do That and I am Not Sorry], eating a burger in the front seat of the impala.  But, I’ve deviated from the meat of this essay [gunshots] [this time just for the bad joke].

BONUS

there’s Exists another episode in which a man ravenously consumes red meat; eventually succumbing to eating raw beef with his bare hands in the season prior to this one.  

Yes Supernatural the Show That Brought Us Not One But Two Scenes of Persons Carnally Consuming Red Meat With Their Bare Hands.  

This episode is a MOTW - the man in question is a rougaru - a monster that starts out as human but due to some specific genetic disorder (hmmm hmmm hmm crack in THE chassis hmmm hmmm) soon begins to be extremely hungry - “for everything, but eventually long pig.” AKA human flesh. 

Wanna know the kicker?  

Episode’s called Metamorphosis.

(GIF by jackttwist)

I’ll see myself out.

[DOUBLE BONUS for extra credit:

if you really wanna wild out, go watch the scene of Jack the rougaru looking at himself in the mirror in 4x04 - and then meander on over to 7x01 and check out God!stiel looking in the mirror as the leviathans writhe inside him over there. It’s worth the walk.]

***oh and @lilac-void​ im tagging you in this one because in exchange for your KIND creator content nomination I guess I will respond by cursing you with an Honorary tag in this, a Meat Meta.  you’re welcome slash I'm sorry XO [but seriously thank you again for your kindness and appreciation; it really motivated me to sit down and get moving on making more content <3]

[cellsshapedlikestars]

hii previous anon here!

no need for trigger warnings it just really gets me in my feelings so compliments to the chef 🤌🏼

i think its so sad because there's no turning back time, no matter how much they would work on their relationship and even if they did get as close as a true family, alayne would still be there occupying a space that was meant to be sansa's, having grown up with an amazing support system that she lacked, even though it was "rightfully" hers? no shade at alayne. every child deserves a supportive and loving family. i think its sad that they didnt feel her absence because someone filled her place while she definitely felt the absence of love, if that makes sense. i feel like no matter how much she integrates into the family, the story could never have a truly happy ending.

i dont know if you know the story "a past worth having" where sansa is abducted as a child and grows up as baelish's daughter. i think its really similar but the one thing that makes it hurt less to read (for me personally) is that the starks did feel her absence and although they are a big family, there was still a place for her to fill. weird analogy but imagine a dinner table: sansa in apwh would join a dinner table where everyone is sat and there'd be an empty chair for her but the sansa of this story would see everyone sat at a full table and catelyn jumping up to get a chair and jam it between two others 😭

i know the message of your one shot was that there could still be place for sansa if she wanted it, that they'd just have more to love with alayne and sansa but i definitely think it would be difficult to just become part of a family that never knew you existed after 20 years rather than be reunited with a family that already had a bond with the thought of her

okay i am SO SORRY for ranting on your inbox like this😭 i dont know why im so hung on this story. its a good thing you usually write happy endings because your sad stories result in lengthy essays like this i guess 😂

Don't apologize for ranting, anon!

I completely understand what you mean by all this and it's sort of the point, Sansa even says it herself to Jon - in the stories she used to read, the lost princess was never replaced.

But think of it this way, maybe. Plenty of people have shitty childhoods and still go on to lead happy, fulfilling lives. Plenty of people create a found family, in their late teens, early twenties, maybe even later and find that just as fulfilling. Sansa will grow up, she'll have a whole new family to give her the love and support she was missing. She'll find common ground with Alayne, who herself has to deal with the fact that her birth father doesn't care one bit about her, while Sansa's birth family wants everything to do with her.

She'll fall in love, have her own children, start her own family. She'll love those children the way she missed out on for sixteen years. She'll love them the way she learned to when she finally found the Starks.

I don't know if any of this helps, but that's my version of this fic's future.

(oh, and for anyone who hasn't read a past worth having, go do it!)

[mlm-mod-taka]

Hey! I’d like to request some headcanons of taka and Kaito comforting their male s/o who really struggles with a lack of motivation to do everyday things and take care of himself.

Sorry if this is too hard or weird to write-

- ✨ anon :)

UNMOTIVATED S/O • taka, kaito x male reader

of course ✨ anon. i really hope youre okay, my dms are always open if you need someone to talk to. anyways, i hope you enjoy your hcs!

tws/cws: demotivation.

|| -> mod taka <3

at first, hes confused. he wonders why there are times when you dont shower for days, and have trouble just brushing your teeth. he would never comment about it, it just didnt click in his head. that was until he saw an article about demotivation while he was looking for something to write about for his english essay.

thought it was interesting and decided to make that the topic of his essay. reads countless amounts of writing about it, putting down notes and reading over it after a few hours of research.

thats when it hits him. "oh. this is what hes been going through." it takes a few minutes for it to kick in before he rushes to your dorm.

apologizes ( very loudly ) when you do open the door. he says he was ignorant and didnt know the trouble that youve been dealing with. if you dont comfort him then hes probably going to start crying out of guilt for even thinking of judging you before.

after he learns and educates himself on the matter, he immediately starts helping you with everything, hes practically living with you now.

he tries to help you with your demotivation, a way he does it is by offering doing tasks with you. you guys often take a bath together, because he wants to spend time with you and to start making it a daily thing to take care of yourself.

does laundry with you, cooks food with you, studies, does homework, play games, watches shows, he just does everything with you so that once youre on your own, it'll become a habit.

after he does start to stay at his dorm more, he'll message you throughout the day checking if youve eaten, taken a shower, brushed your teeth.

if you reply with a "no", then dont worry! he'll swing by later to help you do some self care. he understands that sometimes you just cant bring yourself to do it, so he'd never get mad at you for it.

if you reply with "yes" he'll respond with a smiling cat photo, and be smiling for the rest of the day, very obviously in a great mood. hes just very proud of you for taking care of yourself without him having to watch over you.

if there are days, or weeks where youre in a slump and just cant seem to get yourself out of bed, he'll immediately rush to your side to help you. will never get tired of comforting you or motivating you, its all worth it when he starts to see you take care of yourself again.

notices it fairly quickly, and asks you about it immediately. hes never seen someone in a state like yours, so hes curious. hes not judgemental or mean in anyway, just wants to know whats going on.

when you do explain to him that youre a very demotivated person, and that you have trouble doing "basic tasks" as other people would call it, he nods along. kaito doesnt really get what you mean at first, but it doesnt sound so good.

asks mikan about it. hes never really been demotivated, hes just had some lazy days and its clear to him that those are two different things, and just decides to ask someone who works in the medical field for some advice.

mikan doesnt really work in the mental help part of the medical field, but she knows a decent chunk of things from her fellow co workers, so she says everything she knows to kaito. after telling him, it seems like he understands what is happening a little more.

quickly thanks her before running ( and almost tripping in the process ) to wherever you are. he finally says that he somewhat gets what you told him, so hes gonna try to help you now.

he'll be one of those people that sends supportive memes alot. will send you those cats with the hearts around them and an "i love you" text somewhere in the photo.

is gonna call you every morning when he wakes up, encourages you to get up and get ready with him virtually. kaito does this so it makes you feel like you arent alone.

if youre too tired to get up, then he'll go into your room and practically carry you around while making you get ready. he'll brush your teeth for you, shower you, make breakfast for you etc. etc...

and it goes by very quickly. hes one of those people that are very charismatic and interesting to listen to, he'll start ranting about a random topic, and by the time he finishes it, youre all of a sudden fully dressed and ready to go to class! you swore you were in your pajamas a few seconds ago.

he'll do it digitally too, and it still works either way. you're walking around with your phone in your hand while kaito talks about the constellations, and all of a sudden youre done with everything you needed to do. how does he do it? who knows, but it helps you easily do things you had the biggest trouble doing before.

it eventually becomes a habit that you call each other every morning and night, and next thing you know youre taking care of yourself every day. hes like this pill that helps you become motivated more, its very interesting and convenient.

is just always ready to call you to help you do your tasks! really loves to talk to you, and loves to know that youre taking care of yourself, so hes super happy to help you just by talking about anything.

[firstknightss]

GWAINCELOT ESSAY THREE???

[commentary voice] ah yes and this gwaincelot essay.... which turned into a fic was inspired by @nextstopparis and @little-ligi

GWAINE TEACHING LANCELOT HOW TO READ. and thats how they actually CONFESS.

imagine gwaine seeing lancelot trip up reading leon’s plan for the day, seeing him trying to understand it. and gwaines, hes a little in love. Hes. Hes a little hit with feelings for this Noble (tm) knight. So OF COURSE he CANT EMOTION and he tries to show his affection for lancelot without yknow being in ‘loVE’

he comes over with his swishy hair and bantery tone like “oooOhHh LANCELOT! Lancey! Hey! Hello! Can’t read leon’s goddamn awful handwriting huh?”

And Lancelots embarrassed and flushes red and gwaine thinks hes Fucked Up (and he really doesn’t want to fuck this up, this is the first time he’s actually felt emotions this deep for someone) and tries to fix it panickedly, like the Anxiety Clown He Is.

He keeps on saying sorry and apologising, and Lancelot, the EVER CALM KNIGHT GUY, goes “it’s fine, it’s okay. It’s nothing to do with you...” and then he hesitates. He HESITATES. “....it’s just that...” and then he BITES HIS LIP and gwaine thinks he might just faint there and then, “...i cant read.”

and now it hits him, gwaine, gwaine, who thought literacy was something trash and something he didn’t really need, realises how important it is. and so, yknow because hes kind of wrapped in those Emotions (tm), he pulls lancelot’s sleeve after practice, when they’re alone in the changing room. (and if lancelot wasn’t so tired and miserable, he would have easily seen gwaine BLUSH)

And he, shyly asks if lancelot wouldnt mind being tutored by him.

Now Lancelot is OVERJOYED, and he’s borderline CRYING because lancelot, poor old village boy lancelot who’d been kicked out of the knights of camelot, and had to become a MERCENARY and fight for masters who didn’t care for him, has NEVER HAD someone literally CARE about him so much. (Apart from Merlin. He loves merlin <3)

so now imagine lancelot waking up an hour early the next morning, and showing up into gwaine’s room. He knows gwaine literally doesnt sleep with a lock, so he just barges in, and starts shaking gwaine.

Now GWAINE sleeps like a Log (had so much shit going on irl, time to sleep it away) and when he opens his bleary eyes, seeing lancelot in one of his stupid v neck shirts over him, hes like “....h...helo??”

and lancelot’s all like. “We- werent YOU gonna give me reading lessons.” And gwaine nods, yawning (and in that moment lancelot thinks gwaine looks unimaginably cute, so cute that he wants to literally ruffle gwaine’s hair and run his hands through how silky and brown it is.)

THEN gwaine pulls on the dont care-ish mask, and makes his arms into a pillow under his head, as he leans against the wall behind his bed, in some kind of somewhat???flirty??? manner??? [i dont...i dont know what hes trying to do. On the other hand! Not does Lancelot :) ]

Lancelot, does not realise this is gwaine’s poor attempt at flirting - since he’s seen gwaine ACTUALLY flirting and this is like. Nothing. And its also poorly executed. Which is NOTHING like gwaine.

So he pulls gwaine’s arm, and half hauls him out of bed.

As gwaine’s head crashes into lancelot’s stomach, he can smell lancelot’s clothes. They smell of flowers, and cotton and everything so natural and gwaine, who literally smells of wine, and wood and Tavern. (And aftershave, or the 500AD equivalent)

[see here, see im trying to bring themes of dionysis okay. OkayyyyyyyyY. yours truly likes looking at greek mythology. And both these two complete dionysis]

Gwaine, in his sleepy stupor, nestles his head on Lancelot’s hip, who gives a sigh and stands there. One hand clutching gwaine’s, leaving the other free.....

....to rake through his soft, flowy brown hair. And twirl his fingers through its waves, and Gwaine cuddles in further.

And since Lancelot left the door open, Leon (the other bitch who wakes up at 4am to do idk nothing) sees them two...like that, illuminated by the SUNLIGHT behind them, and smiles a little.

And then he trips over the stairs, the moment is lost.

Gwaine and Lancelot pull away at the same time, and gwaine’s face turns back to “ha ha im a Jerk (tm)” and if he wasnt too busy trying to hide how flustered he was, he’d see Lancelot looking at him the way he used to look at GWEN.

They both blink and look at each other, understandingly, neither of them to speak of this again.

And then Gwaine drags himself out of bed, and Lancelot raises his eyebrows as he watches him (totally not checking him out) haul out a book from his cupboard.

Gwaine’s too sleepy for this, he keeps yawning and rubbing his eyes (looking like a cat, Lancelot notes) and Lancelot takes a deep breath, his eyes understanding.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Lancelot, I love..” he bites his tongue, cursing his half asleep mind “..doing this, and love hanging out with you...I just cant stay up this early.”

Reading lessons, from now on, are at 1:30am-whenever Gwaine and Lancelot stop rambling about Odysseus and Circe and Telemachus

[i dont know any other ancient books apart from like. Ancient greek/Roman ones. So i guess. Its not historically accurate,,,,BUUIT this is a fanfic for a pair who had like no scenes together SO i think i can take some ✨creative liberties✨]

Lancelot has heard of the journey of Aneas from travelling bards, singing songs in his native old english. Gwaine’s eyes are quick at latin, and he learnt the flaws of Romulus and Remus in his pure latin. Gwaine’s a good teacher, and lancelot is a quick study, and it’s not long before they’re arguing over which Goddess caused the most harm in the Illiad.

Gwaine’s never met someone who he could reveal that he loved reading to, he loved doing.

Lancelot’s never met someone who he could tell he couldn’t read, and ask if they could teach him, love learning.

They make it work.

The other knights notice, of course they notice. Percival notices how Lancelot stumbles into the Gwaine’s room at night, bright eyed. Elyan notices Lancelot and Gwaine’s voices from Gwaine’s room opposite him; sometimes slow, Gwaine speaking slowly and Lancelot following; sometimes heated and passionate.

(They’re arguing. They’re arguing about how to pronounce Minerva)

Merlin finds the two, in the early hours of the morning - when the birds are figuring what song they sing today - on Gwaine’s bed.

Gwaine leaned against the bedframe, his trousered legs splayed over the sheets. Loosely braided, long brown hair fell over his closed eyelids, his mouth in a small smile.

And Merlin follows his arm draped over Lancelot, snuggled beside him, his head on his broad shoulder, every breath of wind pushing against curly black hair, making it almost /bounce/. His eyes are covered by the other man’s hair, and he looks...content. More content than Merlin has ever seen him.

He slips out as quietly as he came in, and smirks, hes gotta tell arthur they finally got their shit together oh GOD

Its no surprise to anyone but them, when Arthur pulls Lancelot out of training, and into his chambers.

“I’m glad you’ve found someone Lancelot.” He starts, his face geniune, his voice giving away hints of relief. (He thought he was never going to see his knight smile again after all the ordeals that had happened to him)

“Oh...” Lancelot’s heart sinks, “...how did you find out, Sire?”

Arthur blinks, taking in the change of mood in Lancelot, maybe it wasn’t anything important, maybe they were trying to keep it casual, hell they didnt want the king knowing.

“I- uh, I just noticed...” Goddamnit Merlin, and Goddamn his need to tell him everything he saw. (Merlin had advised him not to do this, as they sat on his bed after a long night. This was really his fault.)

Lancelot pales, and he places his hands down on the table beside him, palms slapping stone as he did so.

“Well, I guess I should tell you the whole truth then,” his voice is quiet, and Arthur steps closer, “Sire I am not of Noble birth, and was born in a village - as you know.”

Arthur nods, his arms crossed, but his Kingly Bravado fell away at the sight of his knight, and one of his closest friends, being this vulnerable.

“Yes I know, but what does this ha-���

“And we children in the village we-“ he falters, “-we were never taught to read.”

“Yes, no I understand, I-“ he pauses, Lancelot’s words hitting him a bit too late, this was about literacy?

This, this whole conversation was about literacy?

Not being gay?

Merlin was going to have a field day

“Sire?”

“I understand Lancelot, and is this why you feel a little out of place with the other knights?” He carries it on, with a smile, he has a few questions to ask merlin.

“Yes, and that’s why I asked Gwaine to tutor me from time to time, although, the sessions carry through late into the night, which may have been affecting my performance at practice. I’ll have you know that this is a temporary th-“

“It’s fine Lancelot,” Arthur places a hand on his shoulder, “You are still exceptional at practice,”

“Thank you Sire,” Lancelot twinkles.

✨

“Theyre, theyre not together?” Merlin cant stop laughing, tears streaming down his face, “theyre not TOGETHER?? oh my God arthur what did you DO”

They sit together on Arthur’s bed, drinking wine from stemless cups together, with Arthur recounting the events of the day; red faced.

“I mean, it was your idea Merlin.”

“I just saw them, and I assumed...I didnt...I didnt think youd ASK them.”

“What do you think I’d do then?? Let them be on their merry way.”

“Yes!”

✨

“Do you like me?” Gwaine asks, unexpectedly, one night, the moon vibrant against the loud sea.

“You’re...tolerable...” Lancelot says, a smile tugging at his lips, as the silver moonlight falls against his hair, a halo around him.

✨

The knights give them the look every morning, as the two of them stumbled out of the same room, more frequently than ever.

Sometimes Lancelot would throw on Gwaine’s shirt, when he’d crumpled his own beyond repair. Sometimes Gwaine would put some of Lancelot’s hair oil on, when his hair was frizzy.

They gave each other knowing looks when Gwaine and Lancelot started whispering and giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls.

✨

And then Stupid gwaine had to go get fucking stabbed, and their delicate dance was like trying to waltz through a minefield.

Lancelot clutches onto Gwaine’s arm as Merlin feels his forehead with shaking hands.

“He’s burning up.”

“Infection...?” Lancelot sounds broken, and nods, fumbling with his pack to find some bandages.

It was just a simple quest; a save the day, get the girl, do various harmless shenanigans type of quest.

He’d half expected Gwaine to get the girl, and he cant help but give out a half choked laugh. Gwaine had no idea what hit him when she turned out to be the evil one all along.

He tries to forget that Gwaine showed no interest in her, he tries to forget that Gwaine’s been less frequent at the Tavern, he tries to forget that he hasn’t seen Gwaine with anyone since months now.

Gwaine, his beautiful Gwaine was lying on his lap, hot red blood rushing from his side, staining his polished chainmail with dark, sticky blood.

He’s been out for nearly an hour now, and Lancelot remembers carrying him, through the entire forest, forgetting his sword and his helmet and just grabbing Gwaine and getting the shit out of there.

Gwaine’s lack of self preservation was really rubbing off on Lancelot nowadays.

Merlin watches as Lancelot holds back tears, his own eyes stinging. Gwaine can’t die like this, he can’t die like this....

“hælan beorn adl”

Merlin’s eyes flashed gold, and Lancelot could feel warmth coming back into the fingers he was grabbing.

He was coming back.

And then the weight of everything hits him.

He was in Fucking Love.

✨

“Hey.” Gwaine’s voice is rough from disuse, but Lancelot nearly sobs when he hears the voice.

“Don’t fucking do that to me again, amor meus.” He puts his head down on Gwaine’s chest; finding the hammering of his heart calming.

He shimmies onto Merlin’s bed, which Gwaine had been lying in for the past few days.

“Did you mean, ami meus?” Gwaine sounds tired, too tired to be awake.

“Huh? Did i say something else?” Lancelot decides to play dumb, a sparkle in his eyes,

“I thought I heard amor meus,” Gwaine pushes his nose into Lancelot’s hair, taking in the wonderful smell of coconut.

“Well then, at least your hearing’s okay, amor meus.”

Gwaine gulped, and was sure Lancelot could hear his loud swallow.

“Lancelot, I hope this isnt a big joke with me teachin you latin and all,” Gwaine’s voice is a little wobbly from the slee deprivation and the magic and the pain numbers, “because I’ll have you know that I really love you, and I cant go on like this any longer,”

“Its okay Gwaine, I learnt latin from the man I love, of course it’s not a joke.”

“The man you love? Who’s tha-“

Realisation hits him like a brick.

Oh.

Oh.

“Me?” His voice cracks, and Lancelot looks up, a smirk on his face.

“Of course dumbass.”

“Like I’m meant to know that,” Gwaine tries to keep his dont care-ish aura, but they both know he’s too exhausted to keep that up.

“mmm?”

Gwaine kisses him on the nose, and he wraps himself around him.

And thats how Merlin finds them later that day, eyes blinking as he stood there.

✨

“I’m glad you’ve found someone, Lancelot.” Arthur coughs.

“Is that what that whole talk was about???”

“Answer the question.” His words sound harsh, but he’s barely hiding a smile.

“I’m glad too, I’m Glad I found Gwaine too.” Lancelot blushes, turning to gwaine.

“Why are you asking anyway, Princess?”

“Oh just, making sure this time.”

[petewentzisblack1312]

I feel like FOB is ultimately a band you listen to for the lyrics, right, the little quips Pete comes up with that you get nowhere else. That and their evolving sound - it’s what sets them apart from other bands. But that’s what I don’t get about former fans who say they’ve sold out now that they’ve gone more mainstream/pop or whatever. Yes, their sound has changed, yes “Centuries” is played on gas station and supermarket radios, yes they were a guest on American Idol and they played the inauguration but like… they didn’t change the whole focus of the band, right, like the lyrics didn’t get vapid and pop-oriented. They didn’t just get rid of all the instruments and like insert drum tracks and stuff

Like if we want to talk about a good band selling out Maroon 5 is the best example right bc they had a great first album with great lyrics and great instrumentation and then they slowly just kept getting poppier in sound and then they stopped caring about bringing the lyrics and for lack of a better word soul.

Fall out boy didn’t do that. They’re still the same group of awkward young guys who are so fucking talented who wanted to write and perform songs to express the shit they were going through and they knew other people were going through too. I will never understand why mainstream success equals sellout in the eyes of so many people. I want more people to hear these songs bc they’re so good.

Sorry for the essay lmao I have THOUGHTS though

no but this is exactly what i say. even when it comes to the music they didnt stop doing interesting stuff with it and like. they were this big prehiatus too. they also played the inauguration in 2008, they were guest stars on some major tv shows at the time. like if you mean compared to futct and tttyg then i guess yeah but at the same time gaining popularity is not the same thing as selling out. changing genre is not the same thing as selling out.

i think someone should confiscate the phrase selling out from punks until they learn how to use it responsibly because they just see something become mainstream and think that means they sold out when its specifically when you yield your integrity of any kind for money. at worst you could say andy is a sell out, except hes still an anarchist and the whole reason hes okay with fall out boy being as mainstream and popular as it is (besides him needing to eat lol) is that despite taking part in the system he doesnt have to lie and say that its good for money and fob is pretty effective at onboarding anticapitalists. arguably this was always their goal, gaining popularity to do important things and raise awareness for important issues and they never like. stopped doing that.

[brelione]

Ooh congrats on 200 girl!! Can I request something with Rafe please where he slowly falls in love with the reader every time she comes round to tutor Wheezie but she's not interested because of what she's seen and heard about him (non cannon Rafe pls, him just being a rich stuck up dick) so he puts in the effort to win her over and is determined to show her a different side to him!?

Sorry,this sucks lol.

Rafe Cameron,the bitchy,rich,straight white male.He was privileged as all hell and could get away with anything because of his daddy’s money.He did get away with anything,including beating the living hell out of multiple pogues.He was probably the person you hated most in the world and yet you were in his house,being payed with his daddy’s money to tutor his younger sister.You tried not to judge people based on their families but part of you wanted to decline the offer to tutor Wheezie and spit in Ward Cameron’s face.

But of course thats not what happened,you needed money to live and Ward had offered a ridiculous amount.It was your third study session,common core math books and Type Two Writing for Students opened on the table,piles of flashcards and worksheets flooding the marble.

Wheezie needed to go to the bathroom,meaning you were all alone when Rafe came along.Your fingers tightened around your pencil as you went through Wheezie’s first draft,wanting nothing more than to pierce the boys eyeball with the charcoal tip.He stared at you from across the kitchen,looking around with a confused expression. “What the fuck?’He asked.You rolled your eyes,ignoring him. “Who are you and why are you in my house?”He asked,his voice dripping with venom.Wheezie came out of the bathroom,glancing between the two of you. “Shes my tutor,chill.”She sighed,sitting across from you again.The boy glared at you,trying to hide his wonder.

He didnt really know who you were but he was sure he had seen you somewhere.His eyes were focused on your face,trying to figure out if he had seen you at a party or something. “What?”You asked,he shrugged,leaning against the counter and still staring at you.Then it clicked.

He had shown up to a boneyard party,just to be a fucking asshole.He had seen a girl hanging upside down from a tree,talking to JJ Maybank.He could see why he was interested in her,she looked pretty cute,arms crossed over her chest as she swung back and forth.He had always wondered who she was and why he had never seen her before.He thought about her every once in a while,trying to think of why he never saw her again.And here she was,sitting in his kitchen. “You’re a pogue?”He asked,squeezing his cup.You ignored him,tapping your pencil on a word and asking Wheezie what it said. 

“Hey,i asked you a question.”He was closer this time,leaning against the table. “And I ignored you.”You answered,sending a glare his way.He chuckled,shaking his head. “Are you a pogue or not?”He asked.You sighed,looking his way. “Does it matter?Im trying to do my job and you’re being a pest,do you want Wheezie to fail all of her classes?”You asked.He rolled his eyes. “Oh,so you are a Pogue.What does a pogue know that I dont?”He asked Wheezie.You laughed,shaking your head. “We all know you only graduated because of your daddy’s money.You had like...what?A 2.0 gpa?”You teased,gripping your pencil tight.He bit on his lip staring down at you. “Oh,so what’s yours then?”He asked,watching as a smirk came across your face. “4.2,now fuck off.”You growled at him.

Something about the way you told him off completely freaked him out.Most people knew better,especially when they were in his house.He had a habit of sitting on the couch and watching you as you corrected Wheezie’s essays,telling her which words would be better for getting her message across.You would shoot him glares that made his heart beat quicken,making him nervous.Other times he’d see you smile at Wheezie’s progress,his heart beat quickening but for a different reason.As Wheezie put it,he was completely in love with you.He couldnt agree more but didnt want to admit it.He hadnt even talked to you since the first time he saw you.It wasnt until you were packing up your bag and dropped papers that he talked to you again.He had rushed to help you pick them up,handing them to you.

You thanked him quietly,rushing past him.He followed you to the door,working up his courage to talk. “So um...do you have a criminal record?”He asked.You turned,rasing your eyebrows. “Oh,so because im a pogue I have a criminal record?”You asked.He shook his head,mumbling. “No,no not what im saying at all im just trying to make conversation and like….i dont know i just thought it would be a cool question.”He played with his hands,following you outside. “I mean,yeah,I do.I wouldve fuckin gotten away with it too if I was a kook.”You sighed.He laughed nervously,hands shaking a little. “So...what did you do?”He asked.You grinned at the memory. “Vandalism,I used to go around and steal confederate flags and then paint rainbows on their houses.”You answered.He chuckled,nodding.

 “So what did you do with them?The flags,I mean.”he tried to continue the conversation,following you down the driveway. “Burned them.”You answered,turning to look at him again. “Are you gonna follow me home,stalker?”You asked.He blushed,shaking his head. “Um...no,unless you want me too.”He offered.You shook your head,continuing your walk as he just stared at you,jumping up and down,joy washing over him now that he had talked to you without you looking disgusted.He had asked Wheezie to talk to you for him,making her confused. “Talk to her yourself.”She scrolled through her phone.He shook his head. “No,no she hates me I just need you to ask her about like...if shes single,what zodiac sign she likes,what she looks for in a guy.You know what i'm saying?”He asked.She smirked. “You like her!”She exclaimed.He shook his head. “No,im asking for a friend.Please just do this for me,okay?”He asked.She grinned. “So what do I get out of it?I could really go for McDonalds.”She grinned.

“So...what do you think about Zodiac signs?”She asked,writing down some dialogue ideas.You raised your eyebrows. “what?”You asked.She laughed,repeating herself. “Why are you asking?”You asked.She glanced over to Rafe in the living room,the boy twirling his fingers and encouraging her to keep asking questions. “I just think its important that I know.”She mentally face palmed herself. “Ok,Scorpios are superior and Virgos suck ass.”You answered.Rafe’s eyes widened.You had to have known that she was asking for him.You wouldnt have said that if you didnt know he was a virgo. “Ok….what about your ideal first date?”She asked.You laughed,shaking your head. “Keep working on your dialogue.”You told her.

Rafe tried.He really tried so hard.He knew that it was the fact that he was a kook that made you hate him so much.He tried to act more humble,less cocky and tried working on his manners.He went through Wheezie’s instagram followers to find you,cursing when he saw that your account was private. “Wheezie,let me see your phone.”He sighed nervously. “Why?”She asked. “I need to see (Y/N)’s instagram.”He explained,scrolling through your page.You posted pictures of sunsets,your dog and a couple of photos of you holding up peace signs and middle fingers.Your bio made him chuckle. “Fuck the patriarchy and fuck you too.”He went through who you followed,seeing a lot of fanpages and the official Harry Potter account.

That lead him to binge watch the Harry Potter movies,take the sorting hat quiz and order a Slytherin shirt.He purposely wore it when he knew you were coming over,walking into the kitchen.Your eyes fell onto his shirt,laughing. “Oh,of course you’re a slytherin.”You sighed.He grinned. “Wow,thanks.What house are you in?”He asked.He held a long conversation with you as you talked about how much you hate J.K Rowling and how Dobby didnt deserve what happened.He agreed with everything you said,loving the way your eyes lit up.The study session somehow turned into you and Rafe speaking about Draco while Wheezie grinned to herself.

He looked through every single post of yours,every single caption until he learned that you loved horror films.He learned your favorite one,putting it on when you came over.Wheezie didnt even need tutoring anymore,she just liked having you over and you still got payed.You had then become her babysitter because Rafe was deemed to irresponsible and Sarah had a social life. “Dude,are you watching (Y/F/H/M)?”You asked,hearing the dialogue.He nodded,letting you sit next to him to watch it. “I didnt know you liked horror movies.”You sighed,leaning back on the couch.He blushed. “Only this one.”He answered.

It took him three months of talking to you about Harry Potter and horror films for you to stop telling him off,cussing him out and giving him glares.He could feel himself falling for you more,seeing who you were when you werent angry or annoyed.He avoided The Cut,learning that maybe if he let go of his Pogue Beater reputation you’d eventually like him.He tried to be more open,to tell you about himself and have deep conversations with you.He answered your questions honestly,laying his trauma and issues bare and letting you ask questions about the worst sides of his life.He had cried in your arms a couple of times,becoming your friend.He had gotten buried deep in the Friend Zone but he was fine with that,knowing you didnt hate him anymore.You two would hang out all the time outside of babysitting Wheezie,he’d come down to the beach with you to have splash fights.

One night while you were at the beach,the area completely empty besides the two of you as you splashed cold water at eachother.He had pushed you into the water,your clothes,hair and skin becoming soaked.You jumped up,hugging him tight and getting him soaked too.He pulled away,grinning down at you.He didnt know why he thought it was a good idea,leaning down and kissing you.All the three months of feelings spilled out just then,his hands holding your waist tight.You didnt knew what to do,what to think,pulling away. “Um….so you just-what?”You huffed,trying to understand.His bottom lip trembled,his hands shaking. “I just….I dont know.”He mumbled,still holding you.You nodded,finger tracing his jaw. “So you dont know why you did that?”You asked.He looked out at the ocean,biting his lip. “Cause I like you...love you and I just thought….”He mumbled,trying to form words.You rolled your eyes,pulling him into another kiss. “Asshole.”You grinned,running a hand through his hair.

@sexytholland @28cnn  @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @drewstarkeyobx @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @jjtheangel

[la5t-res0rt]

this was written several weeks ago in response to asks i was receiving i am posting it now it is very long the longest i have ever made and it is not very well edited but here it is in this final essay i talk about how shitty rae is about black people in her writing as well as just me talking about how her writing sucks in general lets begin

hello everyone 

as you may know i have received a lot of anons in the last week or so about issues of racism in the beetlejuice community both just generally speaking and also within specific spaces 

i was very frustrated to not be getting the answers i wanted because i typically do not talk about what i do not see but in an effort to be better about discourse i went looking through discourse from before my time in the fandom and i also received some receipts and information from my followers and from some friends

keep in mind that the voices and thoughts of bipoc are not only incredibly important at all times but in this circumstance it is important that if a bipoc has something to add you listen and learn and be better

i admit that when this happened i wasnt aware of the extent of what occurred and im angry at myself for not doing more at that time and i want to work harder to make sure something like this doesnt go unnoticed again

im a hesitant to talk about months old discourse because i have been criticized for bringing up quote old new unquote but this is very important and i am willing to face whatever comes from to me

lets talk about this

content from our local racist idiot that may be months old but its important

putting my thoughts under a cut to spare the dash but before i begin obviously this is awful

lets fucking unpack this folks

right out the gate op states that she supports artistic freedom but then within a couple words she goes against that statement

being entirely canon compliant isnt artistic freedom and even so if this person has so much respect for canon they wouldnt be out here erasing lydias obvious disgust for beetlejuice in the movie or ignoring lydias age for the sake of shipping that shit isnt canon either 

also we love the quick jab at the musical there hilarious we love it dont we because god forbid a licensed and successful branch on a media have any standing in this conversation but whatever

now lets scroll down and talk about the term racebending

the term racebending was coined around 2009 in response to the avatar the last airbender movie a film in which the east asian races of the characters were erased by casting white actors in the three leading roles of aang sokka and katara 

whenever the term racebending is used in a negative light it is almost always a case of whitewashing like casting scarlett johansen in ghost in the shell or the casting of white actors of the prince of persia sands of time instead of iranian ones

this kind of racebending erases minorities from beeing seen in media and is wrong

all that being said however racebending has also been noted to have very positive after effects like the 1997 adaptation of cinderella or casting samuel jackson as nick fury in the marvel movies nick fury was originally a white guy can you even imagine

i read this piece from an academic that said quote writers can change the race and cultural specificity of central characters or pull a secondary character of color from the margins transforming them into the central protagonist unquote

racebending like the kind that rae is so heated about is the kind of creative freedom that leads to more representation of bipoc in media which will never be a bad thing ever no matter how pissy you get about it

designing a version of a character as a poc isnt serving to make them necessarily better it serves to give new perspective and perhaps the opportunity to connect even more deeply with a character it doesnt marginalize or erase white people it can uplift poc and if you think uplifting poc is wrong because it tears down white people or whatever youre a fucking moron and you need to get out of your podunk white folk town and see the real world

the numbers of times a bipoc particularly a bipoc that is also lgbt+ has been represented in media are dwarfed by what i as a white dude have seen myself represented in media is and that isnt okay that isnt equality and its something that should change not only in mainstream media but in fandom spaces as well

lets move down a bit further to the part about bullying straight people which is hilarious and lets also talk about the term fetishistic as well lets start with that

this person literally writes explicit pornography of a minor and an adult are we really going to let someone like that dictate what is and what isnt fetishistic

similarly to doing a positive racebend situation people may project lgbt+ headcanons on a character because its part of who they are and it helps them feel closer to the character and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that

depicting lgbt+ subject matter on existing characters isnt an inherently fetishistic action generally things only really become fetishistic when the media is being crafted and hyped by people who are outside of lgbt+ community for example how young teens used to flip a tit about yaoi or how chasers fetishize trans people

but drawing a character with top surgery scars or headcanoning them as trans is harmless and its just another way to interpret a character literally anone could be trans unless if their character bio says theyre cis and most of them dont go that deep so it really is open to interpretation and on the whole most creators encourage this sort of exploration because it is a good thing to get healthy representation out in the world

as for it being used to bully straights thats just funny i dont have anything else on that like if youre straight and you feel threatened and bullied because of someone headcanoning someone as anything that isnt cishet youre a fucking idiot and a weak baby idiot at that like the real world must fucking suck for you because lgbt+ people are everywhere and statistically a big chunk of your favorite characters arent cishet sorry be mad about it

lets roll down a bit further about the big meat of the issue which was when several artists were drawing interpretations of lydia as a black girl which i loved but clearly this person didnt love it because they have a very narrow and very racist and problematic view of what it means to be a black person

and before i move forward i must reiderate that i am a white person and you should listen to the thoughts of poc people like @fright-of-their-lives​ or @gender-chaotic it is not my place to explain what the black experience is like and it certainly isnt this persons either

implying that the story of a black person isnt worth telling unless if the character faces struggles like racism and prejudice is downright moronic 

why use the word kissable to describe a black persons lips now thats what i call fetishistic and its to another extreme if youre talking about a black version of lydia on top of that

the author of this post says herself that shes white so clearly shes the person whos an authority on the black experience and what it means to be a black person right am i reading that right or am i having a fucking conniption

how about allowing black characters to exist without having to struggle why cant a black version of lydia just be a goth teenager with a ghost problem who likes photography and is also black like she doesnt have to move to a hick town and get abused by racist folks she doesnt have to go through any more shit than she already goes through and if you honestly think thats the only way to tell a black persons story you need to get your brain cleaned

you know nothing about the complexities about being a black person and i dont either but you know wh odo black people who are doing black versions of canon characters they fucking know 

lets squiggle down just a bit further 

so the writer has issues with giving characters traits like a broad nose or larger lips if theyre a woman but if theyre a man suddenly its totally okay to go all ryan murphy ahs coven papa legba appropriation when approaching character design like are you fucking stupid do you hear yourself is that really how you see black men like what the fuck is wrong with you

none of the shit youre spewing takes bravery it takes ignorance and supreme levels of stupidity

do you really think you with your fic where a black lgbt+ woman is tortured and abused where you use the n word with a hard r to refer to her like that shits not okay its fucking depraved and yeah we know you love being shitty but like christ on a bike thats so much 

can we also talk about this

what the fuck is this fetishistic bull roar garbage calling this black character beyonce dressing her up in quote fuck me heels unquote are you are you seriously gonna write this and say its a shining example of how to write a black character youre basically saying ope here she is shes a sex icon haha im so progressive and i clealry understand the black experience hahahaha fuck you oh my god

on top of that theres a point where this character is only referred to as curly hair or the fact that the n word is used in the fic with the hard r like thats hands down not okay for you to use especially not in a manner like this jesus christ

oop heres a little more a sampling for you of the hell i am enduring in reading this drivel

oh boy lets put a leash on the angry black woman character lets put her in a leash and have the man imply hes a master like are you kidding me are you for real and what the fuck is with calling her shit like j lo and beyonce do you actually think thats clever at all are you just thinking of any poc that comes into your head for this 

also lydia fucking tells this girl that she shouldnt have lost her temper like she got fucking leashed im so tired why is this writing so problematic and also so bad

hold up before i lose my head lets look at some of her own comments on the matter of this character and what happens to her

hi hello youre just casually tossing the word lynch out there in the wide open world as if thats not a problem that is still real like are you fucking unhinged there have been multiple cases of this exact thing happening in our firepit of a country in the last five months alone like how can you still have shit like this up for people to read how can you be proud of work like this in this climate

and also what the fuck is that last bit 

what the actual fuck

i dont speak for black people as a white person but you do!? im sorry i had to get my punctuation out for that because wow thats fucking asinine just because one black person read your fic and didnt find the torture and abuse of your one black character abhorrant doesnt mean that the vast majority of people not only in the fandom but in the human population with decency are going to think its okay because its not 

i started this post hoping to be level headed and professional but jesus fucking christ this woman is something else white nationalism is alive and well folks and its name is rae

if you defend this woman you defend some truly abhorrant raecism

editors notes 

in order to get some perspective on these issues more fully some of the writing by the author was examined and on the whole it was pretty unreadable but i want to just call back to the very beginning of this essay where the person in question talked about holding canon in high regard but then in their writing they just go around giving people magic and shit and ignoring the end of the movie entirely like are you canon compliant or nah 

the writing doesnt even read like beetlejuice fanfic it reads as self indulgent fiction you could easily change the names and its just a bad fanfic from 2007

also can we talk about writing the lesbian character as an angry man hater like its 2020 dude and als olets touch on that girl on girl pandering while beetlejuice is just there like here we go fetishizing again wee

i cant find a way to work this into this already massive post but

im going to throw up

okay so thats a lot we have covered a lot today and im sure my ask box will regret it but this definitely should have been more picked apart when it happened

please feel free to add more to this i would love more perspectives than just my own.

[fontainefuckerys]

Okay but the women of Rapture.

Can we take a moment to talk about how wonderful they were. And how much they deserved something like birds of prey was for suicide squad?

The writing just makes me wanna table flip.

So example: Diane McClintock.

She was straight up a boring clichee pretty Girl Andrew Ryan had picked up from some bar where she was working (if I got that right from the book) and did his "I promise you heaven on earth if only you follow me and ill be passionate about it and nothing else" thing on her and she was impressed. Impressed by his strong character, his determination, his Charisma, his passion. She wanted to be less the empty pretty girl and more like him. She followed him blindly, loved him truly just to become nothing more than an accessory for social gatherings as soon as his interest had worn off. He made her his secretary after Elaine, his former secretary, decided for Bill and a family with him. (Bless them so much)

I assumr he didnt pick her because she was suited for this position, but simply because she was somewhat of his girlfriend and he could profit from that. And poor naive Diane probably still thought he believed in her, wanted to open doors for her, wanted to help her become successful as well, grow as a person.

I dont even wanna know what she thought about the "Jasmine Jolene Ryans favorite gal" posters all over Rapture. She still had the status of his girlfriend, attended dinner etc. With him. And then she gets him cheating on her pushed in her face all over Rapture? Ouch.

Then, New Years Eve 1959. The attack. She got severely injured and her mother fucking boyfriend couldn't make time in his busy schedule of martinis before 3 to visit her ONCE. Fucking ONCE.

So she tried to fix her face up, hoping Ryan would like her again like that. This woman had such a low self esteem at this point that she felt like the accident was something SHE was sorry for and had to work on so he would like her again.

In that one echo Ryan said something about suspecting her to have an affair with J.S. Steinman. At this point who could be mad at her honestly. Plus in the book it was written how he thought about whom of his friends he could pass her on to. Too much of a coward to just break up with her he tried to PASS HER ON LIKE DAMN SECOND HAND CLOTHING. FUCKS SAKE ANDY.

Okay okay focus focus.

So after he cheated on her publicly, dodged her as good as possible, didnt even visit her in hospital she was still on his side. She still supported him and his dream.

What made her turn on Ryan wasnt how he treated her. It was how he treated other people. And if that doesn't make her a good person who deserves a good ending I dont know who does. Oh WAIT. NO. THEY KEPT FUCKING HER OVER.

Okay so Diane finally notices what her fucktard of a boyfriend truly is and decided to join the resistance against him.

Diane-Naive-Pretty-Misstress-McClintock actually decided to "fuck everything" and just fight her ex and his stupid capitalism with firearms. Like I pictute her having the most pampered life ever, yet she just decides to fight for those people. Not because she had to. Not because Atlas payed her or something. She just decided to do the right thing in her eyes.

Im literally so emotional right now I feel like that is such a power move and I think we should worship her.

And this is where I'm getting angery at the writers for real.

This was such a nice plot. Such a good twist. 10/10 unpredictable, badass, breathtaking, show stopping... you know where im going.

But they decided "Nah were gonna let her seem like the bitch who sucked up to the both most powerful men and then get killed off just like that."

Why.

WHY?

WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

It wasnt relevant to the plot, it didn't show more in depth about any character.

Whoever scripted this i just wanna talk....

Besides. Even if she knew that Atlas was Fontaine, and I dont think she had met Fontaine in person often enough to recognize his voice from a few words, but even IF she knew. Fucking Andrew Ryan traumatized her so much she probably would have high fived him about it.

I mean it wouldn't have fit his character to let her live, I get that but...

SHE JUST DIDNT DESERVE TO GET KILLED OFF BY ONE POWERHUNGRY GREEDY BASTARD AFTER SHE JUST ESCSPED ANOTHER ONE. WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?!

Remember when I said I'd talk about the women of Rapture? Here we have an essay about one of them alone and im angry enough to fistfight Ryans entire security and Atlas on my own.

So if you wanna chat with me about wholesome Diane headcanons or rage about it or I dont fucking know just please talk to me I need to talk about her okay?

Also I feel like my English gets worse the more emotional I get so you're welcome to read this in my aggressive German accent.